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The Poetry of

Michael Taylor
2006 - 2011
© “G Michael Taylor 2006-2011”

( http://www.sadness101.blogspot.com ) ( http://www.auscape.net.au/Songs )

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Forward
George Michael Taylor

These poems were written while I was in various moods and at times may be dark; however, they are all here because they reflect my emotions and my thoughts at different times over the past years, through a lot of emotional turmoil and personal loss. Nothing here is borrowed or stolen from other sources, they all came from within my heart and while I personally may have favorites and do not necessarily like every single one of them I have included them all because they are there, they were written and somebody may get something from them even if I don’t. I hope they bring some pleasure to you, some still bring tears to my eyes and some bring a smile to my face, if they do the same to you then I am proud and my work is not wasted. I am no writer, I play guitar and I think a lot, I suppose much of what I write could be turned into song with the right tune but I prefer them in their present form, I hope you do too.

Michael Taylor

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The Picture A picture hangs upon the wall A photo in a frame His eyes are wet and glassy Shaking fingers stroke her name For countless years they shared a love That few will ever know Until the night she smiled and said "It's time for me to go" He pulled her close he held her tight While fighting back the tears As quietly she slipped away He whispered in her ear "I have always loved you And I always will I will find you where you are I know it is Gods will I will spend what years are left Calling out your name So take my soul and keep it safe Until we meet again" A picture hangs upon the wall A photo in a frame His eyes are wet and filled with tears As he softly speaks her name

Separate lifts Don't think me gone for I am not I live within your heart don’t think I have forgotten you We are never far apart Don't think that we will never meet Or share each others love We have simply taken separate lifts I am waiting here above

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I can think of no other I can think of no place that I'd rather be Than wrapped for a night in your love I can think of no image that I'd rather see Than your face smiling down from above I can think of no arms that I'd rather feel Holding me close through the night I can think of no other this love is so real It makes all my wrongs seem so right

Apart Pools set in a perfect place So deep and crystal clear Surrounded by such beauty You want to stay so near A picture of such wonder She brings warmth to the heart It saddens me that we must live So very far apart

A Prayer My soul is weeping silently within a darkened place My memories are haunting me I long to see your face My past will never let me go forever bound to me My life is filled with such regret how can this man be free My words unspoken come to you as pages damp and wet My tears will carry them to you on platforms of regret My heart will never let me beg forgiveness for my sin My life is laid within your hands please cleanse me from within

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I stood by a river Today I stood by the river That place where my memories run The trees are still there the water still flows But the girl I once held is now gone I stood and I looked at the place Where we lay in the sunlight and smiled The grass is still green but the willows no more Shade the spot where we loved for a while As I listened to noises I heard Of the traffic and people above On the bridge running by in the streets all around There my heart felt the strength of her love I held back the tears as I walked Past the spot where my heart beat no more I can still see her there waiting for my return And I wish I could be here before The breeze brings the smell of her hair And I turn as an expectant child For a moment I see her and then she is gone But she gave me a wonderful smile So I stood by that river today At the spot where young lovers had met I blew her a kiss that I prayed she would feel So she'll know I will never forget

Despair (the reflection) The eyes looking back at him filled with despair Are not those that he welcomes today For they show him a world of pain without end And he has no idea what to say The words in his mind have no place to hide The smile that he seeks is not there For the image before him reflects who he is And those eyes are so filled with despair

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Look what you’ve become Look at you my princess Look what you've become The Angels never saw a star so bright The heavens never knew such beauty as it has Now that you have found the gate To lead you home All the fairies and the butterflies Are dancing now for you And the flowers bloom so full to guide your way The Unicorns are proudly trotting Next to you my love While the cherubs slowly bow As you pass through For the hand of God is waiting there To welcome you back home It has been so long since you were in this place And as you move towards him You can hear him softly say Look at you my princess Look what you've become

One small wish If I could have just one small wish granted me today I know deep in my heart what that would be Of all the things that I could have to make my life complete I'd simply wish that you were here with me

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My Sweet Maryann

There's this sweet little girl but she's so far away In distance time and space It's been so damned long since I opened my eyes To see that smiling face Not many people really knew this girl To most she was just one more kid I knew her before she was shaped by the world And I'm just so damned glad that I did I remember a morning I opened my eyes As the softest of tears fell on me She was sitting there sobbing her face wet and sad For she knew that this day I would leave I remember her eyes so deep and so pure Framed by the softest brown hair As she fell in my arms and sobbed on my chest I promised I'd always be there I can still hear her voice so close to my ear Saying 'Michael please don't go away' I held her sweet face in my hands and we cried And I wish I could see her today I've done such a lot in my life on this earth And I've seen many wonderful things But none of them conjure that joy in my heart That only her sweet smile could bring I miss her this innocent sweet little girl And I'll always remember her so The tears from her eyes are rivers within To remind me wherever I go There's this sweet little girl but she's so far away I'll find her again when I can It's been so damned long since I looked in her eyes I miss her My Sweet Maryann

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The Mist Moonlight shimmers in a silver pool On ripples from a tear My heartbeat echoes in a silent world I look but you're not here Fragrance rises from a million blooms To spread within the breeze The evening filled with soft perfumes Just brings me to my knees The memory of your sweet kiss The softness of your hair Your breath upon my heaving chest Lingers on somehow, somewhere I call your name into the night But silence covers me I pray 'release me from this fight' 'Please God just set me free' The mists upon the silver pool Take shapes before my eyes Ghostly figures reach for me As from the dark they rise My heartbeat echoes through the night As silence pulls me near These ghostly figures play with me I shiver with such fear A sound escapes from deep within The shimmer starts again Each teardrop falling silently Carries with it all my pain No matter what I will return Each night back to this place And I will never be at rest Until once more I see your face

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Friendship To all my friends both near and far In the present and years gone by To all those pretty girls I know And those ones who caught my eye To all the guys who call me mate As we raise a glass or two Men and women guys and gals This is for all of you You make this world a worthwhile place To spend a little while You keep me constantly amused You give me cause to smile You listen to my troubles When you're overwhelmed by yours You keep my past from haunting me You are my open doors If I could give you all a gift Something to call your own It would be a picture of the blooms From the seeds that you have sewn Your friendship means so much to me That God could not repay This humble debt of gratitude That warms my heart today To all my friends both near and far I want you all to know Your friendship burns within my heart A soft forever glow

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Lisa (the Addict) I saw a darkness in the eyes Of some-one that I knew And yet within her silent gaze I saw a light shine through If only for a speck in time I saw the image there Of some-one crying deep inside With love she couldn’t share A smile so warm upon her face Confirms the love she holds So deep inside a fire burns And tries to warm her soul The light within is trying hard To find its only home And yet somehow uncertainty Still will not, let it roam The eyes are windows to the soul And seldom ever wrong But from within we just can’t see Though we look had and long And yet for those who know the way The eyes of others show A love that’s buried deep inside A love that longs to grow And so these eyes which I have seen Have shown me, everything The loving care she holds within Could make the Robin sing Some day I hope she’ll find a way To let that love shine through For when she does, the strength of it Will warm the morning dew I saw a darkness in the eyes Of some-one, that I knew And yet within her silent gaze I saw a light shine through

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They went to fight (all wars) They went to fight in foreign lands A place so far away No warning of the things to come With each and every day For as they stepped on foreign soil All smiles would soon be gone The enemy were soldiers not But mothers daughters sons The smell of burning flesh so strong The screams of dying men An afterglow that never left Before it came again The wind of bullets whizzing by They stop without a sound You turn to try and warn your friend But now he lays face down Confusion swells within your mind As orders come and go The enemy is in the trees he's Hiding down below He doesn't care about your age Or where you call your home He's just as scared as you are But he's fighting for his own We came in through the window To rob him of his right Did we expect he'd walk away Not put up a fight We all of us will suffer here Except for those on high It isn't them who'll face you It isn't them who'll die We came to fight in foreign lands It scarred us in our minds Those who returned will not forget The friends we left behind

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A rose in a bubble A rose in a bubble that floats gently by So delicate held by the breeze This image of you rests in front of my eyes And sends me to ground on my knees A smile filled with sorrow a heart filled with love The soul that cries out to be free The tears in a memory sent from above Will forever fall softly on me That breeze lifts you slowly and carries you on To the arms of another I know But my rose in a bubble will never be gone For you leave in my heart a soft glow

Anger "I'm right" she yells through floods of tears Doors slam as engines roar The bottle shatters on the tiles Spreading all across the floor The light turns red but she drives through As his fists smash into walls Tires screech the night turns cold As to his knees he falls Silence creeps across the town A hub cap rolls away He cries her name but she can't hear They fought their last today

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If If the world were filled with you Every-where I looked would just make me smile Every hour of my life would be filled with such joy If the world were filled with you If you were standing by my side All my troubles would leave me be so far away All my fears would be gone my life be complete If you were standing by my side If I could hold you in my arms My days would be brighter my nights would be warm My love would find purpose my heart be amazed If I could hold you in my arms If I could feel you close to me I would never know loneliness ever again I would know you're beside me And stand like a king If I could feel you close to me If the world were filled with you

Poetry Poetry and floods of tears Come often hand in hand Each word is held within the bounds Of loves soft watery band Such words do not flow easily From dry and withered hearts The tears create the canvas While the words create the art

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For Shirley (families torn apart) Worlds apart or so it seems She cries so silently Her heart as fingers reaching out Across the deep blue sea Family so far away And yet so near it seems Her sun shines brightly on their moon She holds them in her dreams Alone her spirit reaches out As time drags slowly on But years will quickly drift away Once more they'll be as one Tomorrow is another day This song begins again Your silent tears flood through my heart I cry with you my friend

She She came into my life a flower in the breeze A butterfly so gently flying by She landed in my heart The softest touch within my soul I love her and I cannot tell you why A face of perfect beauty with eyes as deep as space A wonder of such magic to behold A smile that clears the darkness as a sunburst fills the sky Every fairy tail that I was ever told She is to me perfection, Gods finest living work And I long so very much for her to stay She folds her wings and settles In my heart forever more There she'll be until my dying day

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I miss you Teresa I miss you Teresa your frustrating ways Those dumb ass old arguments day after day I miss how you smiled at me when I was mad That look in your eyes when you knew I was sad I miss you Teresa the way that you felt The touch of your hand that made my heart melt I miss how you'd hold me and tell me to smile Your love was so strong your soul still a child I miss you Teresa for you've gone so far I stare into heaven for that's where you are I still see your face as the moonlight comes in I reach out to touch you and smile once again I miss you Teresa and all that we shared Those moments we stole when nobody cared I miss coming home and finding you here My world is so empty my heart filled with fear I miss you Teresa I want you to know The tears that are hidden continue to flow I miss you so deeply my world falls apart When you went to heaven you left with my heart I miss you Teresa and I always will For you left a hole that no other can fill I'll miss you forever my beautiful girl For don't ever doubt that you were my world

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Mum Shadows run and hide Darkness disappears Everything that haunts me so Is gone when you are near Thieves hide in the shadows Monsters in the dark When wind has blown the flame away You are that wondrous spark Night time comes to cover me It holds me 'til I'm numb I call your name and you are there You are my light My mum

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Birthdays Birthdays come but once a year, They make us realise That every day behind us is long gone Every moment that we share While walking through this life Shapes they way we are to everyone Birthdays come with all the things That make a sad face smile Best wishes gifts and memories galore Happy snaps and photographs Candles cake and song Wrapping paper thrown across the floor Birthdays bring a different meaning Every single year For life has moved along at steady pace Another one has passed us by and so we celebrate As life etches its wisdom in our face Birthdays come but once a year And as we face the next We think of those who didn't make it here Sweet memories of other times, Friends and lovers gone And silently we send them each a cheer

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Scars Such loneliness she must have felt Alone in that small room Her trust feels so betrayed by everyone Those who should have held her up Would let her slip away Those from whom she ran Would find her all alone The shadow looming slowly As it reached across the floor Fingers gripping tightly As the teardrops ran so free A perfect heart now racing As the shadow falls on her The door is closed so no one else can see A fear so strong within her Makes her close her eyes so tight Those lines are etched forever in her face Silent sobs within her chest That none can ever see For nobody can save her from this place Why do we never listen To the cries of one so young What blinds us to the truth in eyes so clear A life forever darkened And a heart forever scarred While her predator lives on behind the fears Such loneliness she must have felt As we all turned away Such fear to live within a heart so pure If we should look into those eyes And never know the truth We must hang our heads in shame forever more

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For Nicole You told me that you loved me, but you lied You said you'd never leave me, but you lied You said you'd never hurt me, but you lied You said you'd always be there, but you lied You said we're friends forever, but you lied That you'd never be unfaithful, but you lied You said there'll be no other, but you lied That you'd never be your mother, but you lied You promised love and honesty, you lied You said we'd have no secrets, but you lied You said you'd always tell me, but you lied You said you'd always love me, but you lied You stood upon the ocean and you lied Before your friends and family, you lied And as you spoke the vows that day You looked me in the eyes You took my heart my soul my life And destroyed them with a lie You told me that you loved me, but you lied You promised not to leave me, but you lied You vowed you'd never hurt me, but you lied The day you walked away from me, I died

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The pain I feel so alone with this fear deep inside An anger that just won't let go A need to bring order and healing within To be honest I thought you should know I have tried to be calm and just walk away Forget what you did to my heart Move on with my life and close that last door But this hunger just rips me apart Every day now I find myself wishing you dead I just want to hurt you so much It isn't your fault it's just something within And it dirties whatever I touch I don't care if I never see you again You destroyed her, the girl I once knew All that remains is this anger within One day it will come to find you So understand this as you smile to yourself There's a price that you still have to pay This anger you left me hasn't let go You and me face to face one fine day

How How do I tell her what she means to me When life puts us so far apart How can I show her what lives deep within A hunger so deep in my heart How do I smile and look in those eyes And not let her see all the fears How can I hold her and not want to run To find a dark place for my tears How do I touch her and not let her feel A passion that just wants to grow How can I hold her when deep down inside I know I won't want to let go

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The eyes of a lover I look through the eyes of a lover to you I see all that I need to see No other could give me this feeling inside I know that's not how you see me I wonder sometimes why life makes it so hard To smile on the outside and in Why it picks you and moulds you makes you a pawn In a game that you know you can't win I feel all this hunger deep in my soul A burning desire in my heart I want to be near you holding you close But this game keeps us so far apart To be naked and wrapped in your arms for a night Would be everything I ever dreamed To know that you want to be there wrapped in mine

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So perfect Exploring your body, like sculpting with clay Each curve a creation so fine The feel of your skin brings my senses alive I just can't believe you are mine Your face such perfection the shape of your neck A picture of beauty so rare You smile and my heart doesn't know what to do My fingers get lost in your hair I watch as your trembling lips slowly part Your hands touch my chest and I die The distance between us is gone when we kiss This feeling so strong I could cry Your arms slide around me holding me close And I pray that they won't set me free I want to be with you forever right now If love is the lock you're the key I stand here in awe of your beauty my love So perfect in every way If I had just one wish one granted desire You'd be back in my arms here today

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Hazel Grace She is the sunbeam through the mist The star that shines so bright She is the raindrop in the dust The softest morning light She is the sound of summer’s song That springtime melody She is the rainbow in the sky That we all long to see She is the gentlest flowing stream The ripples on the shore She is the moonlight in the night The breeze outside my door She is the only one I know Can make me feel this way She is my Hazel Grace and well I spoke with her today

Why do I miss you Why do I miss you so much Why do I stare at your picture and cry As I long for the feel of one touch Why do I feel so alone Why when my soul longs to hold you so close Do I sit here and play with the phone Why do I long for your kiss Why when I know that you don't feel the same Will my heart feel forever like this Why do I miss you so much Why when I know that you'll never be mine Do I long for the feel of your touch

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Please forgive me I can't close my eyes without seeing you there Laying so cold in that morgue Your eyes were still open and looking at me That image is mine ever more I can't help but blame myself day after day For not being there when you died I wanted to touch you to make you wake up But I didn't, I just stood and I cried I wanted to tell you that love will go on To whisper your name in your ear I wanted to hold you so tight in my arms But the glass would not let me get near My heart was in tatters emotions on hold As I stood there in silence and stared I needed to feel you standing with me My love I was so fucking scared One minute we laugh and go on our way As life takes us all by the hand Now those minutes are seconds And hours turn to days I must live but I'm not sure I can I need you to know that you are the one You've always been there in my heart But I can't close my eyes without seeing you there And that image just tears me apart I need you to find me for I don't know how To reach you where ever you've gone I need you to talk to me tell me you care Please forgive me, I need to walk on

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Missing you There are sights in this world that I long to see There are things that I so long to do I would trade the whole lot and never look back For one hour of my life spent with you There are people I've known And some I have loved There are memories I hold so dear I would let them all go and tell them goodbye Just to feel your arms holding me near There are stars in the sky in the heavens above There are worlds where our souls can be free I would offer my place I would sacrifice that Just to have your sweet love here with me There is nothing that I would not do Here and now There is no price that I would not pay I would battle the Angels And walk through the fires Just to hold you again here today

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Not sure (A best friend’s pain) Not sure I can live with this feeling inside And hide it from all that I see Not sure I can carry on feeling this way It's a love that I know cannot be Not sure I can look in your eyes any more And not feel my world fall apart Not sure I can hold you and tell you goodbye It just tears a big hole in my heart Not sure I can watch you looking at him And hold back the tears in my eyes Not sure I can stand all this pain that I feel It's a war that keeps raging inside Not sure I can hold you without wanting more And telling you just how I feel Not sure I can live without you in my life It's as if God has broken the seal Not sure I can look in your eyes any more And not want to beg you to stay Not sure I can hold you and tell you goodbye My heart dies when you walk away Not sure I can fight it this feeling within And I don't know if I can go on All I know is I love you and I always will When I know that to love you is wrong

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I know now I know now why God took you from me my love I know but it still makes me cry I know why I could not be with you that night To hold you and tell you goodbye I know there's a purpose for all that we see I know there's a path we all take I know but my heart just can't let you go Together just wasn't our fate I know that the rivers still flow from my eyes I know that my heart feels this pain I know now my soul waits in silence for you To reach in and touch me again I know why the Angels stood with me that day I know why the heavens were still I know that the love we found was so strong It could be nothing less than God's will Two souls stood together in darkness that day Two souls that would always be one Two souls turned to God hands holding hands In the blink of an eye you were gone I know now why God took you from me my love I know and it tears me apart I know why I could not be with you that night God still has need of my heart

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From afar She has a beauty rarely seen This girl who steals me heart It's not the image only eyes can see It's not the softness of her hair That sets this girl apart Nor the smile that leaves its own sweet memory A man can be 100 years and live a 100 lives Never knowing beauty such as this My heart would be forever young My soul forever free If I could only taste a single kiss I know that I must see her From afar and never touch For in my arms I know she'll never be My heart will always miss that beat Whenever she is near But I know that she can never be with me

You touched my soul You touched my soul A feeling so deep my heart overflows You are within A flower so perfect that beckons to grow You stole my love The emptiness fills with an image of you You are my life Emotions in turmoil, love that's so true You touched my soul

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She is Christine to me She's a beauty to behold its sure She takes your breath away She makes your heart race as it sleeps She brightens up the day She's like the sunshine beaming down She warms you through and through She lights a fire so deep within She makes you glad you're you She is a timeless work of art She is a symphony She is a poem a verse a song She is Christine to me

You As a stone thrown in a pond Disappears into the deep Leaving only gentle ripples for a clue You fell into my heart And started waves within my soul That will forever bring my love right back to you As a star that gently flickers In the night sky high above Born a billion years ago and far away Your love has come so quietly To shine within my life This light will burn until my dying day As a breeze that softly blows Across a field of golden grain Paints a moving picture deep within our mind Your eyes, your smile that perfect you Shapes my every thought You are the purest love I'll ever find

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I miss you I miss you The times we had the love we shared Sweet memories are with me every day The softness of your voice When whispering my name I wish my love you'd never gone away I miss you I feel you touch my hand when I'm asleep I find you in my dreams and hold you oh so tight I smell the fragrance of your hair As darkness covers me Teardrops help me drift into the night I miss you Those nights when love was all we knew Quiet moments stolen from our time A fire that burns within my soul a heart forever yours Your promise that you are forever mine I miss you Your eyes your smile your everything The way you twirled your hair You made my life so wonderful and filled me with such joy I died my love the days you were not there I miss you I need to hold you in my arms today I need to know that you are near This emptiness is hard to bear Now you're not by my side Everything about me wants you here I miss you Today my tears left me feeling alone I never said goodbye You are gone from me and I cannot let go Tonight, once again I will cry I miss you

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Tell me Tell me you love me before its too late My heart beats so slowly today Don't let me go and then later regret All those things that you just didn't say Tell me you want me to be by your side That place where I long so to be Don't watch me walk down that long lonely road Then cry when your heart misses me Tell me you want me to hold you so tight And whisper I'll always be here Don't let me walk through that door and be gone When my love for you is so clear Tell me you love me before its too late I love you so much that I cry Tell me you want me to be by your side If you can't then I must say goodbye

Happy Birthday The day you were born the sun shone so bright The flowers all turned towards you The birds all stopped singing And nature stood still The sky turned a brilliant blue Every heart shared a beat and sent it your way To welcome you into this place Today is your birthday and just so you know You're a gift to the whole human race So smile at the sunrise hold your head high Look in that mirror and say "This is the best god damn day of my life" "Cos today is your ….th birthday"

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A Valentine If I sent a dozen roses to your door this special day Would it tell you how I'm feeling Would it give my game away Would it make you wonder just whose heart Hides their love inside Or would you know Would I see it Written in your smile If I sent a dozen roses To your door this special day Would it tell you how I'm feeling All those things I cannot say

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From me to you If I wrote you a poem Would I choose the right words To tell you just how my heart aches Would each line that you read Bring a tear to your eye Or would they just make your heart break If I put it to music Made it a song Would it play in your mind all the while Would each note that I choose Find a place in your soul Would the melody show me your smile If I wrote you a letter To tell you my love That I can't get you out of my heart Would it show you my pain Let you see how I feel Every second that we are apart If I looked in your eyes And you looked in mine Would I see what I'm longing to see If not then my heart Would forever be still That fear is just too great for me So I'll write you a poem I'll choose the right words To tell you of my love for you Each line that you read Will be straight from my heart With a love that's so strong and so true

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The Tear The sunlight trickles through the leaves that hang so silently The grass beneath my feet so soft and green The river flows so steadily towards my memories The prettiest girl I think I've ever seen The birds are singing sweetly in branches high above The breeze is whispering something in my ear The sounds of traffic fade as I listen for your sigh The beating of my heart tells me you're near The flowers seem to turn And lean towards me all at once The grass becomes a bed of dreams for me The crickets stop their chatter And water seems to slow The time has come for me to set you free The world can never be the same Without you by my side The nights are colder since you went away The memories I have of you will always be within The love I feel for you is there to stay The sunlight trickles through the leaves That hang so silently The breeze is whispering something in my ear The crickets start their chatter And the bird’s break into song The river takes another lonely tear

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A Birthday wish A birthday is a special day And you are special too That's why this little birthday wish Is just from me to you May all your hopes and dreams come true And all your friends be kind You'll be on the minds of many today You're certainly on mine

Fortune Please help me lord to understand The reasons I am poor The reasons that good fortune Never knocks upon my door Please help me lord to figure out Just what I've done so wrong Then maybe I could change my life Sing another fucking song I've done my best through all my years To do right where I could I tried to live the kind of life I think you thought I should Ok I made a few mistakes Turned left instead of right But I didn't choose to be here Or to fight this fucking fight Now I don't care just who you are Or what you call yourself Jehovah Allah Buddha, Mohamed God or Ralph My question is the same to all As I sit on this cold floor Just why the fuck has fortune Never knocked upon my door

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Numbers that pay 'f I wanted you to fink I wus smart then I gess I'd use betterer words n f'my aim wus impressin then I'd ave better ways uf makin my stupid self erd bud I don't give a hoot what yus fink of me now cuz I won me that lotto today all me spellin and gramar don't meen much no ow cuz I ticked all them numbers that pay

My wish If I found a bottle, washed up on a beach Buried to its neck in tidal sands If I were to take it and rub the dirt away And a genie burst to knock it from my hands If that genie asked me What wish I'd have him grant Anything I wanted would be mine And if I could be certain That this wasn't some sick joke I'd wish for what I've wanted all this time If my wish was granted And it all came to pass A genie clapped and made my dreams come true I would close my eyes count backwards Down from 10 to 1 When I opened them all I'd see is you

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She knows Eyes that burn right to my soul Beauty soft and warm Passion deep within her heart Still waiting to be born Lips that beckon come to me Hair that frames so well All she is torments me so I want to kiss and tell She smiles My world comes tumbling down The ice within me melts I hide For fear engulfs me now Such lust I've never felt If my life should end this night My candle fade and die I would leave a happy man Lost forever in those eyes

Hmmm If I had a dollar for every time I've cried I'd be a frigging millionaire for sure But if I had a dollar for every time I smiled I guarantee I'd have a whole lot more

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The Bride As she walks down the aisle all the heads start to turn Smiles start to form everywhere Her heart is on fire her eyes filled with tears And a veil falls so long from her hair Every movement so sure as she takes every step Every flick of the dress, every fold Every eye in the place is just focused on her Like a story that waits to be told At the end of her walk stands a man proud and strong At his side she will promise to stay And I can't help but wonder if he really knows Just how lucky he is on this day For walking towards him along that cold floor Is a beauty so touched by Gods love That in all of his life he will never again Be this close to what lives high above As she walks down the aisle All the heads turn to see A beauty so rare in this place Her heart is on fire her eyes fill with tears And happiness shines from her face

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What is What is prayer if not a plea For help from high above A tear before a father Whose heart is filled with love A cry for help to guide us On through dark and troubled days To bring us home when we are lost And cannot find our way What is faith if not belief In something we can't see To follow that in which we trust Will one day set us free To walk into the darkness Heart pounding as we do With only hope to guide us And unending love for you What is love if not a cloud That covers all we know That brings two hearts together And joins them at the soul Love lifts us up where we belong Or so the lyrics say Where we belong is in the arms Of one we love today What is fear if not a feeling Buried deep within That has its roots in times gone by When man first tasted sin That makes us hate the things we do And thoughts that we allow Yet it is fear that brings us back To prayer again somehow

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October 24 Today you drove off down the street with a smile Ready to brighten the day Heaven stood still and I didn't know why Until God came and took you away Had I known when we kissed that it would be our last My soul would be there with you now But Angels from heaven held me that day They knew I was needed somehow My soul weeps in silence since you went away I find it so hard not to cry I still see your face as you drove down the street Smiling and waving goodbye My heart feels so empty, so lonely my love Each beat brings a pain I can't hide Each tear is a river that started its flow From somewhere so deep down inside I stare at the place where you once lay with me My lips want to cry out your name My arms want to hold you so close and so long Without you life isn't the same The river still flows on its slow gentle path The grass is still green where we lay The willows still shade me the flowers still bloom But you are not with me today I want you to tell me that you are still here I want to believe we go on I need just one moment, one second to know That our love will never be gone I feel so alone when I wake up each day I remember the smell of your hair I reach out to touch you the sheets are so cold I open my eyes you're not there

41
Oct 24 (continued)

Please God hold her close and never let go Tell her that love never dies Tell her my heart and my soul live for her Let her take one more look in my eyes Today she drove off down the street with a smile Ready to brighten the day All of heaven stood still and I didn't know why Until you came and took her away

42
It’s been a year It's been a whole year I still can't believe that you're gone Tears fill my eyes as I close them each night The pain seems to last for so long Somewhere behind me a tear hits the floor I hear it and turn towards you I want you to reach out and touch me my love With that softness that only you knew I need to hold on to your memory now More than ever for fear is so real I know that you cry for I hear you somehow And I know its your soul that I feel You don't stand alone as you wait for me there Your tears do not fall by themselves I know she is standing beside you right now The love that I feel overwhelms I wish I could reach out and touch you my love Just to know you are there by my side I wish I could hear you just whisper my name For my sadness has nowhere to hide How do I tell you I miss you my love How do I calm all these fears It feels like you just drove away with that smile But you didn't Its been a whole year

43
Goodbye

When you said goodbye I didn't know it would be for so long I never imagined my life without you Everything that you left feels so wrong When you said goodbye My world changed forever it seems My heart is so empty my soul in a void Your words come to me in my dreams When you said goodbye I thought nothing of it I just didn't know I knew in my mind you'd be home again soon I wish I had not let you go When you said goodbye The angels were waiting to welcome you home The doors of forever swung wide for your soul I just didn’t know you’d be gone When you said goodbye I cried

44
Gone This world can never be the same Without her smiling face Without her voice her laugh Her willingness to run the race Whatever life would care to throw She took it all and more This girl become a woman Was pure diamond to the core I just can not imagine life Without her here with me No more she greets the morning No more her face I'll see No more her smile will bring a tear To wet these lonely eyes For she is gone where I cannot To somewhere way up high No other can replace this girl And no other ever will No other has the power For her shoes are hard to fill I will not forget her this diamond sent my way I will always love her until my dying day

45
The first time The first time that I saw her She was standing by a door I didn't know it at the time She was mine forever more I didn't understand at all This thing we know as love Now I know this girl was sent From somewhere far above The first time that I touched her hand A hunger woke within Something somewhere deep inside Decided to begin An angel spoke my name that day And held my spirit high A young girl touched my soul And made all of heaven sigh The first time that I kissed her lips We were playing in a game We found ourselves together And I softly spoke her name The light was dim her face so pure With eyes of deepest blue The instant that I touched her lips All my wishes had come true The first time that I held her tight My spirit cried in pain Such feeling I had never known And never will again To this day I can feel her warmth Pressed softly into me I remember hoping there and then She would never set me free The day I told her how I felt She simply looked at me

46
The First Time (continued)

A look that told me instantly This love was meant to be Her eyes so deep her smile so soft Drove me to my knees She locked my love within her heart And threw away the keys The first time that we lay as one The world was born anew For both of us were struggling To know just what to do The passion of that moment will live forever more The power of a magic we had never known before The first time that I held her face She moved my soul to tears My hands were trembling heart beat fast controlling all my fears I told her then my love for her Would stand the test of time We held each other tenderly She told me she was mine I have always loved her In every corner of my heart She will always be with me we'll never be apart Teresa Mary Finley The strongest love that's ever been You are the most beautiful thing That I have ever seen

47
The Banner A tangled mess of trouble Surrounds me all about Of worry and confusion I fight to scream and shout I find my senses tingle At the mention of a name And yet they seem to mingle I guess we're all the same What is this thing that bothers me This name I cannot place I looked so hard but I can't find The meaning of this race I guess I'll never find it out I guess I'll never know It's pretty dumb what life's about You come you see, you go You try so hard to make it work To make it all worthwhile But still you end up in the dirt It’s hardly worth a smile Still, I'll keep walking on my road And I'll just look around You never know, the time I'm old The answer may be found Some people say they have a book That gives us all we need If I get the time might take a look They say it's like a seed They reckon it's a history book And futuristic too Seems to me they're off their chook It can't be old 'and' new I guess you have to sympathise They’ve got their problems too

48
The Banner (continued)

They reckon deaths a pack of lies And they've been born anew This world can surely take its toll And bend a fella's mind God only knows the fatal roll It’s played on all mankind But then I guess we're only pawns In some gigantic game The loser lies beneath the lawn The winner stays the same You know my friends it seems to me That something's gone astray In all the things that I can see There has to be a way So many people live in fear Of losing what they love We speak so soft they never hear Our message from above The things that we as Christians do Are meant to show the way But are we really getting through Just think on what I say We hold the banner of our lord So high above out heads And in his name we wield the sword How many Count the dead!

49
Maryann (for Maryann Joy Finley 1966-2004) An angel walked within this world But most just could not see She was so gentle, loving, kind Tried so hard to set us free Those who knew her as a child Could never see the light She shone so perfectly to me Her love for life so bright And yet this world would cover her Bind her with their fear They could not see the power Held within those eyes so clear Now she is in heaven In the hand of God my friends For those of us who knew her Sweet Maryann will never end

50
Christine Sitting in the corner she seems so very sad The lonely child who cannot play Because she has been bad She sits there by herself With teardrops in her eyes And listens to the sounds of mum and dad She doesn't understand why she is treated in this way It wasn't only her who broke the vase Nobody else is made to sit in silence all alone This isn't fair in oh so many ways As she sits this little girl her head bowed silently The world around her seems so far away She tried to tell them sorry But they didn't want to know All she wants to do is run and play Her hair hangs softly to one side Her fingers playing there Her eyes are focused clearly on the floor Her mind is forming pictures Of the things she'd like to do If only she could get outside that door I watch from oh so far away And yet I see so clear A breaking heart that cries out to be free I see the teardrops wet her cheeks I want to hold her close This child has found a friend inside of me Sitting in her corner she seems so very sad This little girl who lives inside of you I hope one day she finds the strength To push those walls away And then we'll see her light come shining through

51
I always had this dream I always had this dream you know You were always there I always had the hope that we Would meet again somewhere The thought of finding you again Kept me feeling strong I always felt that we were meant Something just went wrong When I was just a kid in school You were right there in my mind That girl who sat right in my heart I knew one day I'd find She was the one that all the rest Were always measured by All my mates told me grow up Your sights are set too high I dated girls and they were nice As pretty as all hell Some even loved me back and told me I was nice as well I never found that one true love I knew was there for me Until I looked into your eyes You were all I knew you'd be All through my life I've known your love You never left my heart Even when this world of ours Pushed us both so far apart I always knew one day We’d be together once again It kept my heart so young and strong Through all the lonely pain I've always had this dream you know And you were always there

52
I always had this dream (continued)

I always held this string of hope We’d meet again somewhere I always felt your love so strong It kept me moving on Now you are gone where I cannot And all my hope seems gone When I was just a little boy I held you in my heart And there you will remain my love We’ll never be apart I'll always have this dream And you will always be right there I always knew that we were meant To take you wasn't fair

53
So perfect to the eye She stands against a sea of blue So perfect to the eye This vision sent could only come From somewhere way up high Head to toe she sends the heart On a roller coaster ride Though you know it can never be You want her by your side She stands against a sea of blue So perfect to the eye And every time I look at her All I can do is sigh

54
When it’s all said and done What will I be when it's all said and done What will your history say What will the future remember of me Will I just turn to dust, fade away What have I done to make you all proud What have I left here for you What can I point to and say 'there that's me' Will nothing be left to shine through What will my life be to those who come next Have I done all I can in this place How will they see me as years roll on by Will they even remember my face Why have I not made my mark on this world Why did I waste so much time What will they think when they read out my name Will they only remember my crimes I have traveled this life the best way I could Wasn't born with a map in my head I've made some mistakes a wrong turn or two I've quite often wished I was dead What will you think of me after I'm gone Will you smile as you picture me there Will you speak of me fondly or throw me away For I gave you no reason to care What will I be when it's all said and done What then will history say What will my name mean to those yet to come Will it be what you all think today

55
Teresa Mary This world can never be the same Without her smiling face Without her voice her laugh Her willingness to run the race Whatever life would care to throw She took it all and more This girl become a woman Was pure diamond to the core I just can not imagine life Without her here with me No more she greets the morning No more her face I'll see No more her smile will bring a tear To wet these lonely eyes For she is gone where I cannot To somewhere way up high No other can replace this girl And no other ever will No other has the power For her shoes are hard to fill I will not forget her this diamond sent my way I will always love her until my dying day

56
Are you there? Are you there? Are you somewhere far away Somewhere that I should be Is there some way you can find That will let you answer me Is there some way I can reach you Some magic I can use Something that I missed somewhere Hidden deep within the rules Are you there? Do you hear the heartbeat of my soul Each time I call your name Do you feel my longing for you I know you've felt the same Am I simply letting loneliness Take me down an empty road Or are you trying to find a way To lift this painful load Are you there? If all the things that I believed are true then you will know Just how much love for you lives in my heart You'll feel the truth within a soul That never let you go A soul that surely dies when we're apart Are you there? Please God let her answer Just this once to ease my pain I'll do my best to never ever bother you again It's just a simple question Let her answer show you care My love I beg you tell me Are you there?

57
My favorite song I often think about the girls I've loved throughout my life Their beauty lives within my heart today Most knew me well some knew me not 2 I made my wife But all have moved so very far away I still remember every time That love grew in my heart Their faces still shine bright within my mind And every kiss remains so clear Although we're far apart No better memory any man could find Those girls will always be with me No matter where I go Such beauties they became as years went by It makes me sad to think these days That they will never know The love that still lives on so deep inside For I have never loved a girl To watch that love grow cold And I will not forget a single one My heart remains a lover Though my body may grow old Their love will always be my favorite song

58
It’s time to say goodbye It's time to say goodbye And my heart is torn in two I know I'll never see your face again I fight so hard to see the way That leads me back to you My eyes create this never ending rain It's time to say goodbye And I cannot find the way I love you so it's hard to let you go I know I must go on and live My life anew each day Every second here without you is so slow It's time to say goodbye And my chest heaves hard and deep This emptiness inside me is so real I want to hide myself away So none can see me weep They watch me as I cry but they can't feel It's time to say goodbye For I cannot hold you tight You have gone and I cannot bring you home I feel you here within my soul I search for you each night But I wake each morning even more alone It's time to say goodbye my love One final time it seems But I will always hold you in my heart I'll kiss your lips and feel your touch In sweet romantic dreams For I know that we are never far apart It's time to say goodbye And I must let you travel on It's just so hard to walk away this time My love for you will never die You’ll always be the one Who lives in every corner of my mind

59
How many tears How many tears can one man cry How much can one heart take How long must one man suffer Before finally he breaks How many lives must one man bear How can life be so rough How long must one man walk this road Before enough's enough How many nights must one man live How much sadness must he know How long must this man be alone Before he's free to go How many people read these words And truly understand This emptiness I feel inside Since the day I lost her hand

60
You’re the only thing You're the only thing I know Like the heart that beats inside You're the only one I ever knew Could fill me with such pride You're the only piece of heaven That I ever want to see You're the only one that ever got This deep inside of me You're the only one could make me smile When all my chips were down You're the only one could even make me Want to stay around You're the only one who ever had Their hand upon my soul You're the fire inside my heart That kept me warm when life was cold You're the reason that God put me here The reason I exist You're the beat that keeps my heart So young and strong You're the only one who ever bound me Tight with just one kiss You're the one who puts the meaning in my song You're the only one my heart will ever Yearn for in the night You are the one who stands out from the rest You're the only one who ever gave me Reason not to fight You're the one that I will always call the best You're the memory I cling to You’re the ringing of the bell You're the footpath of my life forever more You're the thought that wakes me every day The face I know so well

61
You’re the only thing (continued)

You're the wave that gently breaks Upon my shore You are everything to me and you always were I feel your love in everything I do You are the other half of me And now I'm all alone I pray one day I'll be once more with you

62
Parted She stands upon the rocky shore And stares into the dark Her hair so long waves softly in the breeze She slowly lifts her head Eyes closed and furrowed brow Then falls so heavily down to her knees The tears are flowing freely And the lips form shaky words Her hands are clasped together oh so tight The voice so filled with terror Climbs higher than the roar Of the waves that crash before her in the night She knows her words must find the way To reach his lonely ears Though she knows She cannot find him in this place The void that stands between them Tries to draw her to its depths But her soul is focused clearly on his face She cries to Gods of every kind No matter where they be To bring her lover back to her one day As angels gather round her And add their voice to hers She knows her words will somehow find a way And in another place So very far from where she kneels Her lover’s heart holds on to memories As her coffin slowly lowers His eyes explode in tears Then he feels her hand so gently squeezing his

63
4 in the morning It's 4 in the morning and I'm wide awake Cos I can't get you out of my head It's cold and it's raining there's tears in my eyes As I lay here alone in this bed My heart reaches for you, searching in vain This torment allows me no rest I long for your warmth, the smell of your hair As you lay with your head on my chest My world seems so empty without you my love For nothing has taken your place Your clothes still hang waiting for you to come home My eyes long to see your sweet face I cannot forget you my heart won't let go My soul weeps in silence for you As I go through each day I hide all my pain For I just don't know what else to do It's just before dawn and I miss you my love I'm not sure if I want to go on Each day is so lonely each night filled with tears Such emptiness since you've been gone

64
Love can Love can do so many things Change so many lives Make a flower bloom within Fill your heart with pride Love can turn your life around And make you shout out loud It can also leave you lonely standing in a crowd Love can change the way you think Alter what you see Turn a key within a lock and set your spirit free Love can make you wonder why Yet never really know Just how it weaves its magic To make this feeling grow Love can leave you breathless Knock you off your feet Cave you in, make you cry Leave you feeling weak Love can lift you way up high Soaring like a bird Then leave you standing all alone With just a single word Love can do so many things It’s hard to understand Just how it does these things to me At the mere touch of your hand

65
The Lion and the Tiger A Lion and a Tiger came down to take a drink At a glassy pool on the very edge of town They eyed each other carefully While lapping every sip Each hoping that the other one would drown But neither one fell in that day And so a fight began Not physical but savage just the same For each would eye the other As they inched around that pool The beginning of the world’s most deadly game A snarl from one a savage growl A sudden useless swipe As the other flexed his muscles in a show Eyes like fire and teeth like knives The Tiger stood his ground The Lion seemed to sink so very low The scene became electric As a ripple broke the shore The Tiger moved so swiftly on his feet A sudden roar as mountains clashed Mid air above the pool But the Tiger and the Lion would never meet For rising in the water Once so still beneath their gaze An enemy unseen from far below The Crocodiles had waited Till the scene was on their side The Lion and the Tiger were too slow

66
The man I was Oh to be the boy I was, the one I used to be The one who didn't give a damn And lived life to be free To be once more so young and bold to be so full of joy If only I could once again be that little boy Oh to be the man I was, the one so full of life The one who trod the thinnest line The one who laughed at strife If only I could live again In that young mans world so bold To be so strong and never fear The thought of growing old Oh to be the husband and the father once again The one they all depended on In sun and wind and rain To be the figurehead again The light that shone so bright Then maybe I could close my eyes And face another night Oh to be the man I am so lonely and confused The one who makes them smile at life And keeps them all amused If only I could find a way to travel back in time Then I could do it all again And your love would still be mine

67
My heart is aching My heart is aching My life makes no sense at all to me now My soul is crying My tears are streaming deep inside me somehow My eyes can see her My hands won't touch her for I fear My ears hear laughter My chest knows pain when she is near My mind caresses My thoughts are wrong and yet I know My spirit needs her My love will never let her go My heart is aching My world in turmoil for I feel My soul is crying My desire for you is oh so real

My feet They've worn a hundred pairs of shoes Ten thousand pairs of socks, They've stood upon the ocean floor They’ve waited on the blocks, They've walked around this country In wind and rain and heat, I love these wrinkled ugly things These good old mates, My feet'!

68
She She lights a fire within my soul That never will go out She traps my heart within her smile And makes me want to shout She makes it useless to resist And her touch just caves me in Each time I look into her eyes This feeling starts again She makes me want to run away Escape this fantasy She seems completely unaware Of what she does to me She does not see the tears I cry Each time she goes away I am a fool who dreams that she Will stay with me some day She is the reason I am here The beating of my heart She is the cause of all my pain Whenever we're apart She is the one that heaven sent To keep me safe I know And yet I'm trapped within my self With love I cannot show

69
Two hundred and ninety eight days Two hundred and ninety eight days you've been gone I still spend every night on my own I love you so much it gets hard to go on But I wait here for you all alone Two hundred and ninety eight days seems so long But its just a mere second in time One heartbeat so slow in a sea of regret When I think of how long you were mine Two hundred and ninety eight days of my life Have been spent in a world filled with pain Every teardrop that falls makes it sooner my love Till your hand is in mine once again Two hundred and ninety eight days takes a toll And my heart beats much slower today I count every one for I know its one less Until death comes to take me away Two hundred and ninety eight days have gone by Since I last saw your sweet smiling face Not long now my love and I'll be there with you Being bathed in the light of his grace Two hundred and ninety eight days you've been gone And I've lived every one in such pain Two hundred and ninety eight days is so long God I wish I could hold you again

70
It’s so hard It's so hard to find the words To tell you how I feel It's so hard to show you That my love for you is real It's so hard to give you all those things I long to share It's so hard to get through to you Just how much I really care It's so hard just to speak to you Sometimes I feel such fear It's so hard not to hold you When I feel you oh so near It's so hard not to want to feel Your lips just touching mine It's so hard not to want you But my heart must toe the line It's so hard just to be here Knowing love can never be It's so hard cos I know that you Just cannot care for me It's so hard not to fall apart each time you go away It's so hard not to yell and scream As I die more every day It's so hard to go on my love Without you by my side It's so hard not to run away And find a place to hide God it's so hard not to want you here It's just so fucking hard

71
Don’t Don't tell me that you care for me When all you do is take Don't say that you are listening When all you do is fake Don't talk to me of others When you cannot see yourself Just go to hell and leave me here I'm happy on my shelf Don't promise me the world when all you offer me is dirt Don't tell me that you love me when all you do is flirt Don't tell me you'll be there for me then turn and walk away Go fuck yourself and leave me here to fight another day Don't think that I will fall in line because you tell me to Don't see me falling down because I'll walk all over you Don't take me for an idiot like those who went before Or all you'll hear is silence when you next knock on my door Don't tell me that you care for me when you don't give a damn Don't tell me that you love me when you don't know who I am Don't talk to me of beauty when your face is all you see Just take this gentle hint and get the fuck away from me

72
The fight He sits in his room with the cone in his hand The lighter is poised to ignite He lowers his head as his heart cries in pain He just has no will left to fight As he looks around at the mess he has made Of his life and the ones that he loves His hands grips it tighter this cone of despair As a shadow comes down from above The eyes are so drawn and dark from within The skin is a pale shade of gray The fear in his heart finds nowhere to hide As he faces his demons today The lighter ignites with a burst of blue flame The small cone of pleasure glows red The lungs take it deep and the feeling begins As the fears disappear from his head The body reacts as his mind closes down In a fight for survival within Cells cry for help as the battle explodes In the end only Cancer will win So he sits in his room with a cone in his hand A lighter is poised to ignite He lowers his head as the heart cries in pain He will not see the end of tonight

73
It cannot be I cannot find an answer to this hunger in my soul Or stop my heart from beating as it does I cannot see a clearer path than leaving here today For here right now I see no life for us I love you dearly though it's wrong and I must take control I cannot bring such pain and hurt to you In my heart you'll always be my arms will never know The warmth within your love I see so true If only I could turn the time to days it was not so When I could see your face and simply smile When I could touch your hand and not feel hunger in my soul I wish that I could hold you for a while The difference between us makes love dangerous I know And yet I cannot stop the way I feel These tears upon my cheeks are not there because I cry They are there because my love for you is real If I knew you felt the same my life would take a turn My love would find the place it wants to be But I must end this fantasy and I must face the truth Your innocence and beauty can't love me

74
Wrong A man can only be what life will let him be A man cannot be something he is not A man is made with feelings God given it would seem I sometimes wish this man had been forgot My heart tells me I love her my mind tells me I'm wrong My spirit doesn't know which way to turn My feelings tear at softer parts and bring tears to my eyes And yet within my soul this hunger burns How can I live with this inside how can I feel this way How can I face tomorrow with this sin How can I look her in the eye not hold her in my arms Why did I even let this thing begin A new day comes and life goes on no matter how I feel A new day I must face once more alone A new day when my heart will break and tears will fill my heart For I know this one is not part of my home

75
If I told you If I told you my world was falling apart Would you give a rats arse about me If I told you I can't stand alone any more Would you even be able to see If I told you my heart was still hungry for love Would it shock you that I am so bold If I showed you a fire that still burns deep within Would you quell it and watch me go cold If I told you my heart was now weeping for you Would you offer me tears in return If I told you I love you would that make you smile Or send me to hell where I'd burn If I told you my whole life was turned upside down The moment you walked through that door Would your eyes show the secret that I need to know Or would I be in tears ever more

76
Feelings A heart that pulls, how does that work How does a muscle know How does that feeling deep inside Know exactly when to grow What makes us different from the rest What sets us so apart This thing called love that draws us in And terrifies our heart How can a simple look so pure Create this thing I fear It grows so strong within my heart Whenever she is near Please tell me how to turn it off This fire that burns within And if you can't then I am lost For my soul will drown in sin

77
Be true We wander down so many roads as we go through this life It's hard to keep a track of those we love It's harder to remember those that made our spirit smile Too easy to remember those that don't Each road that we have walked along has left within our mind A memory, a scar, a song a smile They shape our lives mold our minds as we go stumbling on Each step is getting harder every mile We live within a private world those others never see A vault to keep us safe from prying eyes That place where we can run and hide quietly we weep As we remember those to whom we lied It doesn't matter who you are or what you choose to say You know this picture paints a view of you We are not perfect you and I we come from the same place Just remember, to yourself be true

78
Is it better Is it better to live in a room filled with sin Than to say what you feel in your heart Is it better to lie and pretend you don't care As you watch your whole world fall apart Is it better to say that you don't give a damn Than to show the whole world you are there Is it better to keep all your love locked away As you stand at your window and stare Is it better to cry in the dark all alone To feel yourself losing the fight Is it better to just simply lay down and die And drift away into the night Is it better to close yourself off from the world Than to show them how much you can give Is it better to show them the face that they want Just so they will decide you may live Is it better to live in a room filled with sin Than to share what you hold in your heart Is it better to lie and pretend you don't feel Than to live your whole life torn apart

79
230 days It's been 230 days since I held you my love 230 days you've been gone I missed you today just as I always do But this one seemed to go for so long It's been 230 days since they knocked on my door To tell me you will not come home 230 days and I've cried every one Every day makes me feel more alone It's been 230 days since I last saw your face A memory I just can't forget 230 days since I felt your embrace Every one seems so filled with regret Its been 230 days since I held you my love But you left in my heart a soft glow I promise you this though my life must go on You are with me wherever I go

80
The Vigil (a Tibetan girl in Canberra) A lonely figure kneels in prayer before a white stone wall She bows her head and asks that we won't let her country fall She clasps her hands together as tightly as can be She begs us here to help those in her country to be free I watch as people wander by this frail and worried mind And yet not one has asked this girl what answers they may find I hope to God her prayers are heard by someone high above For they start their lonely journey from a heart so hurt by love

Dreams Why do my dreams never stay in my head Why do I wake so alone Why do my memories sit here in the dark Like a lost child who never comes home Why can I not bring my lover to me Why does my heart sleep so still Why do you force me to suffer this way Do I no longer walk in your will Why do you take her so fully my lord Why can you not ease my pain Why must I cry every night every day Am I never to see her again Why do my dreams never stay in my head Why can I not hold her tight Why do my eyes always weep when I wake Every day from a cold lonely night

81
Why will you not talk to me Why will you not talk to me Why have you now closed the door Why can you not simply answer my calls Are you gone from my life ever more Why did you tell me you love me so much Why did you tell me you care Why did you tell me that you'd never leave When I reach for you now you're not there Why am I now so alone in my heart Why is my spirit so sad Why do I cry every day in my prayers Trying to find what I know I once had Why do you no longer talk to me lord Why, have I turned you away? Why will you no longer answer my calls Have I heard all that you have to say

82
The worry of life I looked out my window this morning Saw the rain come a drizzling down Then I planned out my day from the dawning As the worry of life came around As I'm shaving I think of my problems And I look at the sadness within Then I turn to my right and I see you And I find myself smiling again Woman your eyes are like windows That show me a world full of love And your smile brings a warmth to embrace me It comes from a place far above So I smile now and know that I'm ready To face all that life cares to throw Though the burdens I take may be heavy As I travel along I will know As this world closes in all around me And death comes to call out my name I will open my eyes and I'll see you And I'll never be lonely again Baby your eyes are like windows That show me a world full of love And your smile brings a warmth to embrace me Like Angels you send from above So I looked out my window this morning Saw the rain come a drizzling down Then I planned out my day from the dawning As the worry of life came around

83
Oh my love Oh my love if I could only see you one more time If I could feel your heartbeat or just hold your hand in mine If I could see your smiling face or touch your soft brown hair My life would be complete again just knowing you were there Oh my love if only I could whisper in your ear If I could smell that fragrance that I had when you were near If I could take you in my arms and hold you once again I would know that I am not alone and love you till the end Oh my love if only I could stand there by your side If I could look into those eyes that filled me with such pride If I could feel your lips again Pressed lightly onto mine All the world would seem much brighter and our love a wondrous vine Oh my love if only I could only feel you close to me If I could hear you whisper if God would only let me see If I could feel your presence as you gently stroked my face I would sleep in peace and wait my turn to leave this lonely place Oh my love if only you could hear me when I speak

84
Oh my love (continued)

If my tears could wet your shoulder you would know the truth I seek If my soul could find you where you are I would be there by your side But my nights are filled with sadness as I sit here and I cry

93 Days It's been 93 days since I held you my love 93 days you've been gone I missed you today just as I always do But this one seemed to go for so long It's been 93 days since they knocked on my door To tell me you cannot come home 93 days and I've cried every one Every day now I feel more alone It's been 93 days since I last saw your face A memory I cannot forget 93 days since I felt your embrace Every one of them filled with regret Its been 93 days since I held you my love But you left in my heart a soft glow I promise you this though I live ever more In my lifetime, I'll never let go

85
So Lucky A silent scream invades the night Its sound is never heard The softest thud behind closed doors A shout without a word The muffled cry of one so young We seldom want to hear We close our windows close our ears And sink in our own fear A woman's hands are raised so high But they can't stop the pain A daughter hides beneath the sheets In case he comes again A baby shakes but breathes no more As fists hold on so tight A young boy sobs into his hands As he trembles through the night The alter boy who stands in shame At what he's had to do The junkie takes another one She was once like me and you The crazy man who lives his life With imaginary friends The soapbox preacher stands and raves As he looks towards the end A young girl cries upon the step A new life stirs within A boyfriend laughs and drives away As another song begins A soldier stands upon a hill In lands so far away A mother prays that she will see Her son again some day We read the words we shed a tear We watch it on TV Do we really see or understand We are so lucky You and me

86
Alone I don't want to live my life alone I don't want to carry on if I can't have you Here with me to hold me when I'm blue To know that you still love me then Would help me struggle through I don't think that I can take the lonely days The nights have covered me since you have gone away My walls will crumble and the dreams I hold so dear Will disappear from view if I can't have you near Please don't go away I beg of you Please don't leave me stranded here I know that I can't stand if I don't have you by my side My door to happiness would close If I should lose your hand I don't know if I can take the lonely times The simple meaning of my life has lost it's rhyme The world around me now will fall away from view I just can't know the thought of ever losing you I don't want to live my life alone I don't want to carry on if I can't have you Here with me to tell you how I feel My love for you will never die My love for you is real I don't want to live my life alone No I don't want to live my life alone Oh please don't make me live my life alone

87
How do you How do you mend a heart that won't stop breaking How do you deal with eyes that won't run dry How do you stop these trembling hands from reaching How do you tell your spirit not to cry How do you find the answers in the silence How do you calm the anger deep within How do you ease a pain with no description How do you tell the healing to begin How do you tell a memory you love her How do you tell an image that you care How do you show an Angel that your love will never die How do you know that she is even there How do you fill this empty space How do you stop the fear How do you keep a memory alive How do you hold her near How do you take the sadness away How do you hold your head high How do you smile as you go through your life When you can't even tell her goodbye

88
68 Days It's been 68 days since I held you my love 68 days you've been gone I missed you today just as I always do But this one seemed to go for so long It's been 68 days since they knocked on my door To tell me you cannot come home 68 days and I've cried every one Every day now I feel more alone It's been 68 days since I last saw your face A memory I cannot forget 68 days since I felt your embrace Every one of them filled with regret Its been 68 days since I held you my love But you left in my heart a soft glow I promise you this though I live ever more In my lifetime, I'll never let go

89
I reach for you I reach for you within the night But you're no longer there I catch my breath to calm a tear I still smell your soft brown hair That place where you once lay my love Is empty now you're gone I call to you in lonely dreams But I still wake alone Your clothes still cuddle next to mine They hang so still my love For you no longer need such things In your new home high above I touch your picture hanging here As teardrops fill my eyes My heart cannot stop screaming out Somebody tell me why I know I cannot taste your lips Or swim in eyes so blue But every night as I fall asleep I'll reach once more for you

90
Do not Do not presume to judge me when you know not who I am Do not assume you are my friend because you think you can Do not attempt to make my life a mirror of your own Or you will turn around one day to find you walk alone Do not presume to judge me when you know not who I am Do not take solace in the fact that you have made a plan Do not imagine I will be there when you make your call Or you may find no hands to reach for as you start to fall Do not presume to judge me when you know not who I am Do not, for I am more than just another grain of sand

91
Wedding ring Words she wrote but never said fill pages in her mind Thoughts and feelings spread across any paper she could find Anger and frustration mixed with love for all to see And all she ever wanted Was the truth to set her free From the day that she was born her world just wasn't right Every day she stood her ground and fought that endless fight Hits she took abuse she wore and sickness did its best No matter how you look at it this girl was in distress Nobody cared nobody knew just what she fought against To everyone around her this one did not make sense One world was almost magical the other filled with fear Hanging in the middle was a single lonely tear She met a man who touched her soul and warmed her lonely heart So young this girl so much in love their worlds were far apart He tried so hard to walk away she would not let him go Angels joined them deep within and caused their love to grow This girl this child had never known emotions such as this This man had never felt such power as she gave with each kiss

92
Wedding Ring (continued)

Each time that he would go away her heart would close the door Until the day that he returned to open it once more She loved so deeply in her soul that none could understand Just why this girl would never free this one she called her man Though more than one had tried to turn her eyes another way The image that she held within would never let her sway She loved her man with every breath and heartbeat of her life She never doubted even once one day she'd be his wife Now she has gone where he cannot but love can never die Every night his eyes are filled in sadness as he cries A promise made will be fulfilled a new song he will sing And from this day her man will wear her promised wedding ring

93
Roller Coaster My life has changed in many ways since love has left my side The rocky road I've known this far now a roller coaster ride The cars are raw emotion while the tracks are made of tears The brakes are eyes that tell me kids should never live in fear Each climb so slow towards a top that we can never find And then that drop down into hell plays havoc with my mind The stomach churns heart beats so fast it tries hard to be free Eyes closed tight fingers numb it scares the crap out of me I live each day in constant fear that I will fail once more That life has made the choice to send it all right to my door My body weak from all the pain already sent my way The spirit stands to take it all and fight another day Though I cry each night for her and hold her in my heart I know the days are growing less that we are far apart So I will stand and take it all for I stand not just for me We cry together while apart until her kids are free My life has changed in many ways since love has left my side But I know she waits with open arms when I step off this ride

94
Christmas without you Christmas approaches and you won't be here I can't help but feel all alone I miss you my love and I always will God I wish you could answer the phone There is no emotion deep down in my heart Just this emptiness filled with regret And that image of you with your hand on my soul The very first time that we met You are all that my heart wants to cherish within But it finds itself beating so slow Though surrounded by friends and those that you loved I'm in pain and I want you to know The feelings we shared were born deep in our souls A union so blessed from above Without you my princess I stand all alone But I feel myself held in your love Christmas approaches and you won't be here I can't help but feel all alone I miss you my love and I always will God I wish I could bring you back home

95
Despair My heart beats slower The love of my life is gone The blood in my veins has a difficult ride And yet my life goes on My mind is lost In memories of her smile The tears that flow make it harder to see I'll be better in a while I see your picture Emotions erupt from within I can't live without you and yet babe I must I just don't know how to begin My life is empty As I sit in this corner and pray Hold her close to your heart lord and don't let her go I'll be coming to join her one day

96
How do I How do I stop this pain that lives within my heart How do I live each day now that we are far apart How do I tell my eyes They will never see your smile How do I tell my lips not to hunger all the while How do I tell my spirit that we cannot leave this place How do I tell my hands they will never touch your face How do I tell my voice Not to quiver when it's heard How do I stop this heartache When your name is every word How do I forgive myself When I hear you softly sigh How do I turn the clock back So I can say goodbye

97
Better things Take the time to search your mind For all the better things Look for those that made you smile And see the joy they bring Search for times you had you knew You just would not regret Bring them to the front and put them Where you won't forget Don't let better times be hidden From your sight my friend Never let the bad times Be the ones to rule the end Always look towards the setting sun And shed a tear Remember those you hurt today And hold them ever near Find yourself a place Where you can always be alone Put away your work your books Your laptop and your phone Sit in silence take a breath And let your spirit roam Find that place you know you want To always call your home Take the time to search your mind For all the better things Hold on to those that make you smile Embrace the joy they bring

98
Be a man Don't tell me stories of the past You find within your room Don't tell me that your life's a mess While handing me the broom Don't speak to me of wisdom From the bottom of a can Put down that lousy bottle Then stand up and be a man Don't ask me to be there for you Then turn and walk away Don't make me go through hell Doubting everything you say Don't tell me that you care When you don't really give a damn Put down that lousy bottle And show me you're a man Don't talk to me of hardship When you bring it on yourself Don't ask me to believe you When you say that you need help Don't hide behind a label just because you can Put down that frigging bottle and try to be a man Don't take away the only thing Your children have to hold Don't make them turn the way you did As they are growing old Don't tell them tales of life based on Just your drunken plan Put down the fucking bottle And show them you're a man

99
If If I should swim a thousand miles Towards the setting sun With nothing but a memory or two If I should falter on the way And slip beneath the waves I would find the road that leads me back to you If I should try to climb The highest mountain in the land With nothing but the clothing that I wear If I should lay my body down And slowly slip away I would think of you and know that you still care If I could find a way to be Beside you now my love I would run with no regrets into your arms If only I could look into your eyes Just one more time If only.....

100
You will not have her You will not pick the bones of one So close while I am here You will not feast on this my love today You will not strip away the flesh And bare her to the bone For I am here to keep you all away You will not bring her down Or make her memory a hole You will not make her family regret You will not bring this woman Into disrepute my friend Before the stone around her tomb is set You will not be allowed to take Whatever it is you want You will not walk away with hunger gone You will not clap your hands and yell Another job well done For surprise surprise I do not stand alone You will not do the things you do To others who can't fight You will not have this one sent from above You may as well just walk away And find one of your own This one's protected She is the woman that I love

101
My Prayer Please tell me where my love has gone Please show me where she is Please tell me I can talk to her Steal just one more kiss Please take me there to where she lives Please knock upon her door Please tell her that my love for her Will last forever more Please God don't leave me standing here Please don't leave me all alone Please take my hand and show me That you took my lover home Please care for her and keep her safe Please tell her that I cry Please tell her that I pray for her As each lonely day goes by Please tell her I will find her lord Please let her heart be still Please tell her we will meet again For I know it is your will

102
For the children Every time you walk away you empty me The day seems brighter when you're here Every time you say goodbye I die a little more I hunger so to have you always near Every time you shout at me I feel so insecure My world goes dark and walls start closing in Every time I feel your hand You bury me A little deeper Please, don't do it again

103
Nature She lifts off from the flower petal To the slightest breeze And gently winds her way down lovers lane She slips among the roses Apple blossoms in the trees Then finds herself in motion once again She lifts her head and lets the currents Take her here and there And watches for her lover down below She feels her senses quicken At the sight of what she sees And the spiral that she forms is oh so slow She comes to rest within the scents Of bluebells in the wood And slowly changes color in the sun She calls her lover come to me While basking in the light Renewal of the butterfly begun

104
Musings Do I see myself as heaven bound Or free from sin and such Can I rest in peace and know That I am free from Satan's clutch Will I face that final curtain With a fear inside my soul You bet your bloody life I will But I'll still shoot for the goal I haven't been the best of men I didn't always try I didn't give it all I could There’s a good chance that I'll fry But all my life I've done my best To turn the other cheek It isn't easy looking like me And staying frigging meek I like to think that somehow There’s a place somewhere for me Where I can leave it all behind and finally be free Where I can smile and know That all the bad bits fell away A place that lets me start again And live a brand new day I hope that I am heaven bound And someone knows my name But if I'm not I guess I'll still say 'Thank you' just the same And If I do not see you In that house with many rooms You'll know that I deserve to breathe Those sulphur laden fumes Do I see myself as heaven bound I don't really know my friend I cannot change what I have done It's not up to me in the end.

105
If you ask me If you ask me why I love her I would tell you I don't know If you ask me why I care so much I would ask you 'does it show'? If you ask me could I live my life Without her in my heart I would tell you there is not a day When we are far apart If you ask me to explain to you Just what she means to me I would tell you that the day she came The jailer set me free I would tell you that the darkest night Was suddenly aglow And happiness became a word That I would come to know If you ask me will I feel the same A hundred years from now I would simply throw a look at you With a single raised eyebrow

106
Caring Take the time to watch the sun rise On a foggy day Find a way to help someone Who somehow lost their way Sing a song that tells the world You give a damn my friend Write a verse to let me know That friendship never ends Walk a road you do not know And learn how others live Serve another from your heart Allow yourself to give Look within your own dark soul And see what you find there Then tell me friend, if you truly can Is it in your heart to care?

Why? Why is there no phone link into heaven Why can I not call the one I love Why can I not dial her name And hear her voice again Why was she just summoned from above Why can't I just tell her That my heart will not let go Why does heaven not accept my call Why did God just take her With no reason I can see Why?

107
It’s time I stood and watched the children Try to best each others moves I watched as wasted time slipped slowly by I heard the names the language Smart remarks go back and forth I watched and deep within my heart I cried I saw the faces tighten fists were formed and lips were tense I witnessed what I feel within myself I felt the anger rising in my gut my head my soul I knew I had to come down from the shelf We cannot let our children Do the things we did ourselves We cannot simply turn and walk away We have to find the answers To the problems that we see Or these kids will never have a happy day It's time to put aside Our high and mighty attitudes It's time to take a stand and make a start These children are our future We brought them to this place Do we really want to see them fall apart If we don't unlock the secrets That we keep within our minds Then our children will become as you and me If we don't give them the answers then they'll just make up their own God only knows the kind of world they'll see

108
For Teresa She lived within a private world Of fairy lights and trees No matter that the rest just could not see They were to her reality And often much much more A place where she could speak her mind And never close the door All around her lived her army Figures standing proud Fairies Angels Unicorns Wizards making clouds To see her smile and speak to them Her eyes as bright as light Would melt my heart and warm my soul Every single night Her Fairies still stand watch for her Waiting silently Her Angles guard her world and will not sway The Wizards and the Unicorns Keep watch for her return I cannot pack a single one away My love will not be coming home She is forever gone Into a world that I just cannot find Her Fairies and her Angels See my tears and feel my pain They know the darkness left within my mind I wish that I could bring her back To speak just one more time To see her give instructions to them all I know that she would tell them now 'Watch over this my love' 'For if you don't my man will surely fall' So I will watch these figurines And I will wait my turn

109
For Teresa (continued)

I will tell them everything I can I hope that they can find a way To let my lady know She leaves behind a sad and lonely man I will always love you my sweet and gentle soul I will never let you cry alone I know you will be waiting there That smile those eyes that kiss When your Fairies take my hand And bring me home

110
Stupid people Why do stupid people Do the stupid things they always do Why are idiots allowed To annoy both me and you Why do we allow these mugs To stay around and pee Is this world not bad enough For people like you and me Why do we not take a stand And shoot them into space Would it not be better For the whole damned human race It seems to me that if we don't Then we are doomed my friend Cos stupid people do stupid things and it's us who'll pay in the end

For Marco Alone in his head filled with noises so loud Alone in his mind with his friends all around Alone in his world filled with anger and pain Alone in this chair he will not walk again Alone in his fears he can't say a word Alone in frustration for not being heard Alone in confusion for all that he feels Alone in his anger his skin slowly peels Alone is his sadness his soul on its knees Alone for he has Motor Neuron Disease

111
Summer Rain People tell me not to let this old world Get me down They tell me I should smile a lot and Not wear such a frown That laughter heals a million hurts and Takes away the pain But even in the summer we need a little rain Tears are filled with many things And not just salt my friend They often carry burdens fears And heartaches that we send A tear that's shed in silence Will not be heard again The laughter of a child is seldom heard In summer rain We cannot live our lives inside A bubble made of lies Or laugh and joke while deep inside we cry For every mans an island surrounded by a sea If you don't get wet then you are never truly free Take the time to stop and feel The wonder of a breeze Let yourself be touched by what's inside Throw away that key and Let the world see what you feel Let yourself be wet by summer rain

112
Take me where Take me to another world Where truth and love exist To a valley filled with flowers Where cheaters are not missed A river flowing endlessly to Where the right wins out Or take me to that land you know Where there is just no doubt Take me to a place Where people mean the things they say A country where I know You can be trusted every day Or to a room where silence Is an option not a law To a realm where all the bad Is locked behind a door Take me please to anywhere That I can feel I'm free Any place at all that doesn't blame it all on me Take me there that I might know And not keep asking why And if you can't then leave me here Be gone and let me die.

113
The Wish I have a wish within my heart That will not go away It is for each of you my friends And comes back every day It is a wish for peace and happiness, Harmony and love It is a hope that all our lives Are gathered from above I have a dream so deep within That holds you all so tight Within my arms I hold you there Throughout the darkest night I hold you safe inside my world Protected by a wall And Angels hold you from on high So you can never ever fall I wish that I could find a way To make it all come true That all our lives would be so close I could reach from me to you For in my heart the world is small And borders don't exist Friends and lovers come and go, Most are dearly missed I know I cannot have it all for we are far apart And yet within this dream of mine, At least I make a start For we are one though set apart Within this empty space But I can always see you, feel that smile upon your face You are to me the essence of all that life's about A shining light to guide me back, A whisper not a shout A friend is one who's always there, Who sets my spirit free And each of you will ever bring That kind of joy to me

114
The war A war took place so long ago Within a world so strange One stood against a mighty force Enshrouded in pure rage This one was told to stop the march Of evil against man This one was told 'You stand alone because you know you can' As countless voices raised a cry Of horror never known This one stood solid as a rock This one stood there alone A hundred thousand mighty souls Came forward that first day Two hundred thousand more were close behind An awful sound as never heard In this world or the next Echoed in every crevice it could find A battle as you've never seen Or heard of or been told Took place within the blinking of an eye A battle fought so long ago We were not even here A mighty war that shook the very sky One soldier stood his ground that day He would not give an inch As swords of hatred tore his skin He did not even flinch This single soul would stand alone Against all that they could throw He stood his ground against such evil As we will never know A million strong they came to fight This soul who would not die He fought them all he fought them hard he fought for you and I When the chaos finally died One soldier stood alone He sheathed his sword, wiped his brow

115
The War (continued)

Then turned towards the throne "It is done my lord" he quietly said As he knelt before the one "I will post a guard before the gates To ensure your will is done" "They are banished as you ordered And can never come back here" "They will lick their wounds plan revenge But forever live in fear" A silence filled forever more as A teardrop formed a well A whispered voice so powerful It silenced every bell "You are my strongest loyal friend And rewarded you shall be" "For none can stand before you Come now stand here next to me" A war took place so long ago Within a world so strange One stood against a mighty force Enshrouded in pure rage This one who stood so strong Could not be forced to turn away An Arch Angel now he fights for us Up to this very day.

116
I had a thought I had a small thought just the other day, Yes I know some of you find that scary It came as I wondered what life had in store And my questions made me somewhat wary For I look at those things people do all the time To themselves and each other as well And it makes me imagine this bus on the road Taking all of them straight down to hell I watch all the faces pressed up to the glass Trying hard to escape their own fate And I don't seem to care For they all did me wrong And I hope it gets worse through the gate Then I find myself crying as I witness the fear And I see just what happens within To those who care little and feel even less For the suckers they leave in a spin I feel all alone as that bus moves away My heart sinks too deeply in pain As I rake through my memories trying to find What'd I do, what'd I think, what'd I say? But no matter how hard or how long or how deep And no matter how strongly I feel It is not what I did what I said what I thought It is simply that my life is real For the thought that I had, Yes I know all the jokes Is that life makes you all that you are And if you look around it will all become clear All those things that you have near and far So as I look around in my life as it stands And I see what I have in my heart Each of you in your way Keep me standing so proud Your friendships have all played a part

117
I had a thought (continued)

For my life would be nothing a pure waste of time If it were not for friends such as you Each hug kiss and word that you send every day Lights that fire, makes my heart say Thank you

118
My friend Chase me down a lonely road And leave me standing there Lock me in a small dark room Then go without a care Take me to the edge of space And watch me float away Send me on a one way ride Forever and a day Take away my happiness My comfort and my pride Strip me of most everything Then stand me to one side Speak not one more word to me Until we reach the end Because no matter what the hell you do You will always be my friend

119
Memories The sunlight dappled on the ground Makes shapes within my mind The breeze so softly whispers To the memories that I find The morning mist refreshing And so sweet upon my tongue The bluebells and the oak tree Filled with birds in sweetest song The gentle touch of lovers lips That taste so very fine The softness of a heartbeat In such perfect sync with mine The world around could fade a way And I would never know The arms that hold me close I know would never let me go The softest smell of sweet perfume Winding through her auburn hair The deepest love within those eyes Takes away my every care The calmness of that whispered voice So soft within my ear The love I feel so deep within Will always hold her near The sunlight dappled on the ground Mixes shapes within my mind The breeze so softly whispers 'Hold the memories that you find'

120
Look around Children play in busy streets As mothers cry alone Fathers work and share a beer Before they head on home Lovers sit in shady spots, Whisper in each other’s ear Beggars wander aimlessly And junkies live in fear Preachers preach of things to come And one who came before Nurses struggle with the mess That comes in through the door Coppers try to keep the peace While pelted with abuse Doctors try to heal the pain but, Sometimes its just no use Husbands beat their wives But then nobody ever knows Mothers belt their children As life's frustration grows Kids fight in the schoolyard Using knives and bats and guns We watch in horror on the news Our daughters and our sons Babies die in silence while entombed within a car Gamblers throw their lives away Then sink within a bar Young girls paint their faces bright And dress in pretty clothes Young men shout of fighting back Then shove shit up their nose Cars go faster people don't And then they meet one day There is no winner in this race No matter what you say

121
Look around (continued)

One day we have to take the time To watch a week go by A closer look at what it is That makes the mother cry It's time to worry what this world Will come to in the end If we don't the ones who'll pay Will be your children and their friends

122
My Home The summer rain falls softly down On this dry and sun drenched land Grasses grow flowers bloom Ants sculpt in the sand Each droplet forms a blue lagoon And lovers gather round Laughter comes as new life grows From this dead and lifeless ground An eagle soars so high above Searching for a meal It's been so long since she last ate The hunger here is real The sunlight shining through the mist Brings colors bright and clear The rainbow tells the tale of life For all the people here This land has seen so many years Carved out by wind and rain Its mountains and its valleys Its wide unending plains Snow capped peaks and fields of green Lakes of salt and bone Surrounded by a sea of blue She sits so proud alone She is the pride within my heart This reason for my poem I love this land that holds me tight Australia My home

123
Sad Lise The face looking back is so tired it seems The eyes tell of hardship and pain The lines that she sees were not there yesterday And she feels herself crying again The world passes by without stopping to see The emptiness held in her heart The love that she knew has now gone from her life And she can't seem to make a fresh start The people she knew just don't understand The hours go so slowly it seems The dark of depression just keeps closing in And it even finds life in her dreams The face looking back is so lonely and sad The eyes so deep filled with pain The fear that she knows was not there yesterday And she finds herself crying again And the tears On my cheeks are the same

124
Sick and tired I am so fucking tired of being put down For wanting the best for myself I am so fucking sick of being told to shut up Getting shoved to the back of the shelf I am so fucking tired of the righteous assholes Who think themselves better than me I am so fucking sick of the crap that they sprout About life being happy and free I am so fucking tired of the bullshit I hear Every day on the news, in the press I am so fucking sick of the absolute shit That causes the whole world to stress I am so fucking tired of baring my soul Just so others can pull me apart And I'm so fucking sick of opening up So you get a clear shot at my heart I am telling you now so best understand There's a line that I drew in the sand If you should step over you won't see a smile And you won't hear no fucking brass band Cos I'm so fucking tired of playing your games Where the rules change to suit what you want And I'm so fucking sick of your sarcastic grins You're no better than me you slack .... Well let’s leave it at that!

125
Too many Many men in many wars that go back many years Mothers daughter’s sisters wives With oh so many tears Sons and fathers brothers too Who wish them on their way None can ever tell you Why these lives are gone today Bullets fly mines explode bombs Make such a noise Worlds away they try so hard To kill our brave young boys We shed a tear we shout we scream We pray that they'll come home But in our hearts we know somehow Too many die alone The blame we throw those we accuse No better we than them We didn't do a bloody thing When they took our fine young men We didn't fight to keep them here We didn't doubt or fear But now we see those days are gone When we could hold them near Lets not forget what we have done Or those we sent away Lets hang our heads in shame instead For what we did today Don't ask a boy who’s barely lived To go and fight our wars Grab him fast and keep him safe Behind our homelands doors A medal here a service there a name upon a wall Is that the price we put on them I mean really is that all Ask any mother daughter wife Or father brother son No medal service plaque or wall Can replace a single one

126
Things we do Something speaks so deep within To terrify my mind A voice that beckons me to come And play with what I find darkness with a life its own And hands that will not stop It tears me down and lays me bear From the bottom to the top I find my self unable to fight off this bastard child This small intrusive person Who calls me to be wild He is so young and yet he is so very old This charming personage within Makes me feel so god damned cold No matter how I try I cannot make him go away And I am doing battle With this monster day by day I know that I am not alone There are many in this game I think that if you asked them They would each one say the same Something speaks so deep within To terrify my mind

127
For Jan As I walk the streets of this old town She is always on my mind This girl who did so much for me More pain no man could find She held me when my heart was weak She smiled when I was strong In this young girl's deep brown eyes I just could do no wrong She made me feel so full of life My world stretched out ahead But then one day I closed my eyes Without warning she was dead I will never understand Just why it had to be That she was taken from this world Why couldn't it be me I live each day she lives within My life keeps moving on Lovers come and lovers go She remains the only one One day I'll hold her in my arms I'll kiss those lips again For I know no God could let her be In sorrow or in pain She waits for me within his arms Asleep though she may be His hands will gently comfort her As she lays in wait For me

128
One sided world People tell me all the time That I should listen more They say to be more caring, open every door They tell me all the time That others feel things too That I should take the time, Hear each word as it comes through So if I listen carefully to all the things you say If I take the time to get involved Throughout your day Will you then do me the honor of listening to me For up to now you have not done A single thing that I can see These people who make effort To tell me what I should do Don't seem to care enough to see Their own words coming through Now I'm tired of listening, Doing everything they say Now it's time for them to see That I no longer play I will not sit and take the crap Dished out at every turn Now those who do the dishing can go Straight to hell and burn

129
Getting old Do you know what sucks most about getting old It’s when you realise that your love has gone cold It’s those nights when you wish That you weren't alone When you sit and you stare at that frigging dead phone It doesn't make sense that a few bloody years Should leave you alone to face your own fears So I don't look like Elvis or Jimmy or Phil In fact for the most part I look god damned ill But is that any reason I can't live my life Like a man with a passion in love with his wife Is the fact that I'm old so disgusting and sad That she had to move on with some younger lad Do you know what sucks most about getting old Your whole frigging life just seems to go cold

130
Memories Have you ever seen the face Of a woman deep in love Or felt the softness of the rain As is tumbles from above Have you heard the laughter Of a small child hard at play Or known the sweetness Of a kiss that sends you on your way Have you known the pleasure Of a love so strong it cries Or found the emptiness inside When the source of that love dies Have you touched a moonbeam Breaking through the darkest night Or heard the crickets singing As you wonder at the sight Have you held the hand of one Whose life is at an end Or known the strength that only comes From one you call a friend Have you seen the sorrow Of a mother on her knees Or watched a young life fading With a gunshot from the trees Have you torn your heart out As you try to ease the pain That comes in dreams of days gone by Of blood mixed in with rain Have you heard the sound of children Screaming in their beds Silenced only by the crack, A bullet travels through their heads Can you tell me how to sleep When the memories will not stop Please take away my parachute, Kiss me once then let me drop

131
Tell me a story Tell me a story of lovers so true and make it a wonderful tale Tell me a story of men gone to war and how they all fear they will fail Tell me a story of children at night afraid of the shadows and sounds Tell me a story of mothers who cry and fathers who never come round Tell me a story of a man on a cross and those who would nail his hands there Tell me a story of people who cried and others who just didn't care Tell me a story of money and power of things that will make your life great Tell me a story of those who cannot who must live by the rules set by fate Tell me a story of you and your mind the darkness that we never see Tell me a story of hell here on earth and an Angel to watch over me Tell me a story of anything now and I'll show you the truth I hold true All the stories we tell, and those that we hear are all stories about me and you

132
Have you ever Have you ever woken, in the morn Stood in silence staring, at the dawn Watched the sun rise slowly, from the East Wondered if you'll be there, at the feast Have you ever walked among the trees Watched the flowers dancing in the breeze Heard the sounds of laughter in the air Thoughts of heaven, is it really there Have you seen the snowflakes on the ground Fallen from above without a sound Seen the setting sun through a misty haze Wondered at the beauty, of his ways Have you felt the pain of a babies eyes Or the sadness of life as a mother cries Have you seen the tears as you held her hand And you pray that he's there, In the promised land Have you ever looked, in an empty grave?

133
Heather I saw a face one evening, it was in a photograph I should have turned away but held my gaze I clicked the next page quickly But by then it was too late She had caught me and my heart was all ablaze I tried so hard to turn away But never made the move The beauty in this face would not let go She touched my heart, a gentle prick With just a simple smile And the hunger in my heart began to grow She lives a million miles away And we may never meet nor ever know the feeling of a touch But every night that face will come To see me in my dreams Because she touched me in a place That means so very much Now I will never know a day That doesn't have her there She has found a place forever in my heart Her eyes her face her golden hair Will never set me free If she were mine We would never be apart

134
Sydney She stands so proud upon the shore Her halo shining bright She shouts and whispers all at once as she gathers in the night They come from near and far my friends just to see her, know her smile Many find her easily others take a while She finds a place for everyone no matter what their race She understands the need she finds in every single face There is no hatred in her heart no evil in her soul There is no need to turn away for she is truly whole Come any time to meet her here and share her love with me For she is waiting just for you My home, my love, Sydney

135
Friendship Friendship is a wondrous thing So full of life it seems it makes you want to light the fire And dream your wildest dreams True friendship comes in many forms But only one can grow Into that state of mind we feel We want to love and know It makes us feel a million bucks To know a friend is there To find a helping hand, a tear, From eyes that really care The gentle touch a friend can give That causes you to sigh The softest smile that lets you know They’ll never pass you by And when that friend is not like you, As in the opposite sex Such friendship takes another step, Be careful with the next For if you let that friendship grow In ways you can't control you run the risk of being told to head off, Hit the road But sometimes friendship can progress Despite the wrong it seems and when it does, your life is caught, In sweet elusive dreams Yet there are things, circumstance, That make a friendship hard A difference in age or race or just a crappy card When friendship fails it takes away All that a friend holds dear It causes doubts, it makes a friend Go on to live in fear

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Friendship (continued)

So never take a friendship gained For granted or in vain For friendship lost can never find That friendship once again I met a friend not long ago Who showed me there is more I hope to help that friendship grow and not become a bore For this sweet angel came to me Then left to come again To loose her now would surely cause My deepest, hardest pain

137
Outback The morning sun it shines so clear across these open plains The sand so golden wind so fresh I'm happy once again The dust swirls madly in my wake as the miles go flicking by Emu's run and lizards bask There's an eagle way up high My heart will always love this place with all its sand and dust And as I travel now away it's all because I must While I would gladly live my life in places such as this I'm heading back to the city ways because sadly it's that I miss I will return one day to you my golden sea of sand And when I do you'll welcome me to lay me in Gods hands

138
Ladies To all the women in my life Who make my heartbeat change To all those wonders of such grace Such beauty and such poise I give you just these simple words So limited in range That if shouted high and wide Would make very little noise For they are words best spoken Soft and meaning filled each one Right from the heart that beats so fast When thinking of you all They give the soul reason to pause And lift itself in song But when those words are not returned They cause us such a fall For you are beauty given form In all its wondrous ways A matched perfection for each man No matter who you are And I shall wish that I had known Through all my weary days Such beauty that now comes to me From countries near and far You are each of you a wondrous sight, Angels to behold I would that I could hold you near And join with you in flight Alas I am but mortal man and already am too old So I will hold each in my dreams as I drift into the night.

139
Dead My heart falls away as my head hears the words that tell me my lover has gone My soul weeps in silence my eyes shed no tears as I stand here afraid and alone I see no way forward no lamp lights my path the candle extinguished for me Yet I know I must take that next step, I must move or tomorrow I never will see I cannot imagine the hurt I have caused to my loved ones while chasing a dream I just didn't hear them, I just didn't know that their crying was really a scream The world tried to tell me this road would soon end but I wouldn't listen, not me I was too busy falling in love with this girl too caught up in romance to see But now that she's gone And my walls have come down I see clearly the road out ahead Nobody will miss me, And why should they care that this loser is finally dead

140
The Light There is a light within my heart, It will burn forever more It shines ahead and lights the road That leads me to your door It lights up all those little things, That others often miss That gentle curve, the smallest crease Those lips I long to kiss It lets me see the things in you, That change the way I feel The inner child so soft and pure That part of you that's real It strips away the outer shell, The image you must show To all who see you near and far That they may never know For in your eyes I see the love, That lives so deep within I feel the passion of your heart It makes me want to sin But then this light within my soul, Shines brighter than before It burns away these thoughts of mine Leaves me simply To adore

141
The Secret The universe works in mysterious ways Nobody knows what's ahead It might be a cold winter’s night on the street Or a partner so warm in your bed It might be a win in the lotto one day Or a stint in a cold prison cell Maybe a relative changes their will Probably not cos they know you too well We all sit and wonder just what's out in front But ponder what's been left behind Wondering won't get you up the next hill Yesterday fucks with your mind The universe works in mysterious ways It knows what you want from the start The Secret is knowing it's already there And feeling it deep in your heart

142
Teresa I knew a girl, so long ago She stole my heart away She was so young, she was so pure She filled my every day I wanted so to hold her close Protect her in my arms To feel her melt within my soul To know those gentle charms My head screamed out that this was wrong That I should walk away My soul was bound forever more And remains so to this day There has not been a single hour Within the passing years I have not held her in my heart Or cried a million tears There is no time nor space nor thing That could stop me loving her Though I have loved another She has always been my first I have no words to tell you What that young girl meant to me Save but to know she held my heart And has never set me free Today she is no longer there This young girl that I loved She is a woman now And sent by angels from above For I had never dreamed that we Would ever meet again Resigned to grieving silently In my sorrow, in my pain Though I had looked for many years I never found her there I thought she had forgotten me I thought, why would she care So long ago I walked away

143

Teresa (continued)

And left her all alone The last time that I spoke to her Was on the telephone I told her then I could not come To take her pain away And I have cried within my soul With every passing day So many years have passed us by Lovers come and gone And yet for me there is no doubt She has always been the one Now I find that she still cares This one who owns my heart Through all the sorrow, all the pain The years we've been apart We will again look deep within Those eyes we held so dear I only hope that when we do She still wants to hold me near

144
Lost Love As I walk among the ruins Of the love you left behind I can see the footprints clearly In the sand that is my mind The little things you said and did Still echo in my heart And the memories you left me with Are tearing me apart Like an earthquake starting deep within The rumble is so clear As the anger and frustration come The rage is flowing near My soul is torn from end to end When I look upon my fears Heart is trembling eyes are sore As I fight back floods of tears I may never understand The reasons why you walked away Or your purpose when you spoke the words I wish you didn't say I can not forget the years we spent Together and in love For a love like ours could only come from somewhere high above You have chosen to ignore the truth And shut me down it seems And now my arms can only hold you Deep within my dreams I cannot simply wipe away the love I held so dear You will forever be the one I want so to be near

145
The Secret 2 Life doesn't get much better than this I open my eyes and I see The universe kick starts another new day And all that I want comes to me I don't have to worry or break some ones leg That's not what life's all about It's waking up smiling to find you're alive And saying thank you with a shout You look in the mirror each day of your life The same person looks back at you Don't try to change it just be what you want And all the good things will come through This life isn't meant to be hard or a job Trudging through day after day It's meant to be full of abundance and joy The Secret is knowing the way So life doesn't get much better than this I wiggle my toes pinch my ear The universe kick starts another great day And all that I want is right here

146
Alone Why is it that we cannot play, As children often do Without the pressures of the world And the crap it puts us through Why can't we simply be ourselves, Instead of something we are not To merely please another one To fit in with the lot It makes me mad to realise, That I cannot be me That I must fit within the mold And never let you see So deep within myself I cry, And long to hold you near I know I cannot have my wish I know it and I fear This world around us builds the walls, That traps us in a place So filled with hatred and abuse This thing, the human race Why can't we simply live our lives, The way we want to be Why must this world hold on so tight Our child cannot be free I want so much to feel the joy, I knew when still so young The magic of a butterfly The sweetness of a song The breeze so gentle on my skin, Raindrops clean and pure A snowflake falling silently Your knock upon my door I long to know that you are there, No matter what I do And yet these walls are made so thick I just cannot see through For I have lost that innocence,

147
Alone (continued)

That helped me laugh and smile And I have learned to guard my thoughts Pretending all the while I am no longer who I was, The world has seen to that The road I walked so full of holes Was once so smooth and flat I sit in silence now with tears, A river in my soul For I can never be myself And will forever be alone

148
Why Why must I be as a man in a cell With nothing to make my heart smile Why must I always be left on my own To drown in my tears all the while Why can I not simply say what I feel Without being judged by my age Why can I not let my heart show the way And not be the subject of rage Why do I stand as a man all alone In the middle of such a large crowd Why do I feel that my life must now end Because you don't want me around Why will you not let me just be myself To walk all the roads that I choose Why will you not simply leave me alone Are you scared in the end you will lose Why can't I see all the beauty in life No matter where beauty may be Why can't I touch it and feel it within Why won't you let me be free Why are you worried at what I might do To your world sitting safe in your hands Why do you fear that a simple old man Might be able to see through your plans Why do you judge me so easy my friend When you can't even look at yourself Why do you secretly smirk in your mind As you raise one more glass to my health Why can you not simply leave me alone Let me live life however I want Why don't you find yourself some little hole And go play with yourself you slack....

149
This girl The picture of pure beauty I held within my arms As moonlight filled a tiny room On a Eucalyptus farm The love that held my every fear And brought my lost soul home Is held within my hands this lonely night This girl who touched my every thought And made my spirit soar A love so pure that heaven's heart was still Such feeling found within a beat That touched the edge of time So strong that it could only be Gods will I hold within these hands tonight All that's left for me But in this heart this mind she will live on And I will never let her go This girl who stole my heart Though all the world believes that she is gone A picture lives so brilliantly Deep in my soul this day A room a face that shone so wonderfully Her moonlit hair her eyes her smile With me forever more The most beautiful thing that I have ever seen And now I hold within my hands A memory, a tear An image of a love so strong A light that shines so clear

150
Somebody Somebody tell me what to do When all my options fail What the hell am I supposed to do When this train comes off the rails How am I supposed to put This mess back in one piece Somebody tell me, somebody show me Somebody help me please Every day starts off the same, A fight, a bloody mess An argument to which the end is anybody's guess Complaints compounding quick and fast No school for me today And I won't climb that fucking hill No matter what they say A girl who wants to be a mum But she hasn't got a clue She hasn't got a place to live She turns to me and you Her boyfriend couldn't raise a smile He won't be there for long Just what am I supposed to do When all of this goes wrong A boy who wants to be a man And drive the coolest car He looks off blindly down the road And thinks he'll be a star In 15 years he's learned so much He thinks he knows it all Somebody tell me what to do The day I get that call A sister somewhere miles away Tries to catch her breath She smiles at me, it's all ok, And yet she faces death If there's a God I wish he'd come And look me in the eye I'd like to ask him just one thing,

151
Somebody (continued)

A simple question.. why? Somebody give me something, Anything will do Just show me that it's worth the fight And that I'm getting through Sit me down and talk to me, Help me get this right I'm stuck here in a darkened place, It's fucking cold tonight Somebody tell me what to do When I can take no more What am I supposed to do When I'm face down on the floor How am I supposed to stand When it's driving me insane Somebody tell me how to deal With all this fucking pain

152
One more mile Why does my mind never leave me alone To rest and relax in my soul Why do my dreams always bring me to you Then leave me to cry in the cold When will this world let me go one last time To find all those answers I crave When will I know if I've wasted my life Is the end nothing more than a grave How can I live this life day after day Not knowing if it's all a lie How can I smile and tell you I'm fine When all that I want is to die What can you show me to help me believe That life isn't just some cruel game What can I look to, what's there for me Every morning I wake, it's the same Where can I find some relief from this pain That tears at my heart from within Where will I be when this heart beats no more Why did I even begin Show me you love me show me you're there Please give me a reason to smile Show me that we'll be together once more Help me to walk one more mile

153
The Shack I could spend eternity wrapped in your arms In that shack on a warm summer night I could live that night over and over again Holding you in that silver moonlight I would happily give all that I ever was To be there in your eyes once again To know that you loved me was all I could want The spark that you turned to a flame Something was born on that night filled with love As the light from above filtered through A feeling so magical deep in my soul That bound me forever to you I wish I could throw myself back to that place For I swear I would never let go One moment in time is all that I want To replay forever my love Every heart in this world deserves to feel love And I wish I could share ours with them Just a room and a moon and two hearts alone God I wish I could hold you again

154
Why is it Why is it when I think of you my Heart beats slow somehow My body feels a softness deep inside Why is it that my spirit soars When someone speaks your name And I'm filled with happiness I just can't hide Why is it that the thought of you Sends shivers to my soul Goosebumps ripple up and down my spine Why is it when I see your face The sun shines in my heart And I find myself just wishing you were mine Why does it mean so much to me To hold you in my arms I wish that you would never let me go Why am I so in love with you That heaven feels my pain And yet it seems your love I'll never know Why is it when I see your eyes A river flows within To an ocean of regret in which I drown Please save me from this loneliness Wrap me in your arms If you can't then please, just hold me down

155
Where has it gone Where has it gone this thing we call life Have I spent all my years wasting time What have I done to make myself known Is there anything I can call mine Hindsight is wonderful when it’s too late Memories don't change a thing What I do tomorrow won't fix today So full of what yesterday brings Why do I live with such fear in my heart Dragging me back to regret What is this darkness alive in my soul That just will not let me forget Where did I come from where will I go What have I done in between What kind of image will I leave behind What will my memory mean Day passes day year after year Aging us all to the end I hope when my ride finally stops You'll remember me fondly my friend Where has it gone this thing we call life Have I done all that I had to do What am I now after all that I've been I hope I've meant something to you

156
If I had ten million dollars If I had ten million dollars I don't know what I'd do Maybe buy a ticket That would bring me close to you I could buy a house just streets away And wonder by your place Walk my dog’s right by your door Just to see your face If I had ten million dollars I could do most anything Get someone to write a song That someone else could sing Buy that business where you work And never let you know Just to sit there with my drink And watch you come and go If I had ten million dollars There is so much I could do I'd give the whole damned lot away To spend my life with you

157
To be or not to be To be or not to be That is the question To try to give an answer here Would merely be suggestion I fear that things are rarely What they seem to be What you see as Orange May be Tangerine to me Where I see an empty glass You see one to fill We may climb a mountain That to me is just a hill We were born in different worlds Yet here beneath this tree We must choose is our young love To be or not to be

158
Winter So cold outside so warm within Your arms to hold me tight The winter falls but when I'm here Your smile makes all things right Your eyes soft pools of Amber Hold me safe within loves gaze The fire burns brightly from within And sets my heart ablaze I cannot look upon your face With anything but love I speak your name and passion flows From somewhere high above If I could only find a way To be there in your arms To feel your warmth surrounding me To marvel in your charms So cold outside so warm within Your love so deep it seems The evening comes and once again I hold you in my dreams

159
Memory Ah the problems we face day after day Life's little tricks that lead us away All those sweet voices that lead us astray It's sometimes so hard to walk on I long for the faith I had as a child The times long gone by a young heart ran wild The days were much warmer the evenings so mild I look for them now and they're gone Cry for the lovers you've lost through the years Reach into sadness to mop up the tears Hold on to hope to battle the fears Dream of somewhere you belong Look in your memories see what you find Smile at the good leave the rest far behind Don't live in yesterday deep in your mind Those things are behind you, move on

160

I Remember I remember bluebells and weeping willow trees I remember babbling brooks with flowers birds and bees I remember sunny days and walking in the woods I remember life back then was just so frigging good I remember every girl who ever caught my eye I remember watching them each time that they walked by I remember every smile and touch embrace and kiss I remember all these things and yet it's you I miss I remember watching you asleep while in my arms I remember eyes that showed me all your secret charms I remember lips that made my passion raise its head I remember how I felt with every word you said I remember every time you cried and every tear I remember all the times you ran to hold me near I remember everything about you head to toe I remember when you said you'd never let me go I remember summer days just you and me so free I remember upturned boats the sound of rolling sea I remember riversides and duck billed platypus I remember when this world existed just for us I remember everything from childhood until now I remember all these things and yet somewhere somehow I remember bluebells and weeping willow trees I remember how it felt when you were here with me

161

The Blues I see your face I hear your words but something deep inside Makes me want to shrink away and find some place to hide You hair your eyes your lips your skin All summon something wrong I stand and stare into your eyes but I want so to be gone I see you smile and it’s as though you looked into my heart But then your eyes tell me our worlds Are some place far apart I want to hold you in my arms and pull you close to me Stand forever in that place and never set you free I know that I can never have this thing I crave from you So lost in oceans of desire I don't know what to do We stand so close and yet we seem so very far apart Your voice is music to my ears while tearing at my heart So I smile and keep my cool but something deep inside Screams at me to run away and find some place to hide

162

Forever A picture on a wall a ripple in a pond A memory so faded in your mind A sound somewhere you're not quite sure A fragrance you must find A word or two a melody a tune that makes you feel Like something somewhere reaches out to you The faintest touch against your face You turn there's nothing there You wish and yet you know it can't come true You walked somewhere to be some place You've somehow been before A tree a stream a duck billed platypus A melody from far away a busker strums a tune The memory it plays was just for us Tears begin to well behind a wall of emptiness You try but there is nothing you can do You sink into the shadows so that no-one else can see This sadness takes its anger out on you Staring into darkness that swirls around your eyes Your tears now simply washed away somewhere As darkness closes slowly to embrace your very soul You let forever take you back to her

163
Constable Mein a Hand Because you wear a uniform you think you rule the world You think that you can say just what you please You think that you can take a man And drag his name through mud You think that you can bring him to his knees Because you wear a uniform you think you are the best That your badge gives you protection While the rest of us just run That your reputation goes before you Shielding you from harm That you can use those lower than yourself for fun Because you wear a uniform sworn to enforce the law Everybody else must step aside Everybody else must make a path for you to walk Everybody else must swallow pride Because you wear that uniform does not make you immune From prejudice corruption hate and pride From feeling you are better than those that you protect From being knocked right off that horse you ride Because you wear that uniform you do not have the right To make up stories blacken people’s names To turn the world against a man Who has not done you wrong To stand back and watch others fan the flames Because you wear that uniform you show us who you are You show us what you stand for in this place You show us just how power can corrupt those in control You show us that we cannot trust this face Because you wear that uniform you have destroyed my life With words and accusations in my house With smiling face and attitude you lied to those I love You are to me no better than a mouse Because you wear that uniform Your colleagues live in shame A family collapses in your wake

164
A generation fights to understand why you did what you did A world of pain because of one mistake Because you wear that uniform you do not have the right To judge me and condemn me as you do To tell the lies that you have told then smile and walk away I pray to god one day it's done to you

Poems Poems come from somewhere deep inside a lover’s heart They speak of hope and memories whenever we're apart And if this one should find its way To somewhere deep in you Smile and know that I am here, that I am smiling too

165
I wonder If my life were better if my life were changed I wonder if I’d take a different track I wonder if I'd meet all of those people, lovers, friends If the hands of time were ever to turn back If I'd never met you if we never were I wonder now just where my life would be I wonder how your world would change Where would you be now If you'd never turned and looked at me If my life had never been if I were never born I wonder just how many lives would change I wonder where you'd all be now if I had never lived If I were not around to rearrange If I had gone just one more step instead of stopping here I wonder if this world would be the same I wonder if your lives would be much different today If none of you had ever known my name

My Friends My friends to me are like the sun They light the shadowed ways They feed the hunger in my soul and brighten all my days My friends are with me everywhere no matter where I go You are the reason I still smile I just thought that you should know

166
Untamed Imaginations Kids today don't learn the things That we learned when so young They don't appreciate the life they live today We give them everything they need And tell them what they want Our busy lives can't guide them on their way Angry fits of violence gangs and guns and knives Teachers with no power in our schools This world is changing over time And soon we'll pay the price With governments of those we raised as fools What happened to respect, and honour in our world Those things that brought us many times to war We talk of memories and those who gave their lives But kids today don't get this any more PS3 Nintendo Xbox arcade games All teaching things like theft and driving fast Fighting killing shooting destroying everything Just leads them from the present to the past Who do our kids look up to what models do they see They learn from what surrounds them day to day Listen to the music, watch what moulds their minds They're following, they haven't lost their way Kids today become the men and women over time The parents when we are dead and gone What will they teach their children What will this world become I fear for all the stupid things we've done Fairy tales of rabbits and princesses and gnomes These things I went to bed with as a child Now all I hear is gunfire, screams and screeching tires Untamed imagination will run wild

167
Things I've watched another human fall lifeless in my sights I've felt the sting of metal deep inside I've looked into the eyes of one so young and seen the pain I run through tangled storm clouds just to hide I've stood there face to face with one Who looks as scared as me I've held my ground and made the only choice I've traded moments filled with fear And prayed to God above I only hope that he could hear my voice I've heard the sound of terror as explosions tore the ground I've seen my friends and comrades at my feet I've cried and screamed sought revenge On those who crush my soul I found that such revenge is not so sweet I've seen the silent faces of children left behind I've watched the tears of mothers, daughter’s wives I've tried to reconcile the awful things I know I've done I walked a road that changed so many lives I've seen men turned to monsters in places far from home I've watched them rape and kill without regret I've witnessed things no normal man Should ever have to see I tried I failed I simply can't forget I've spent my life in search of God's forgiveness for my sins I've tried to put behind the life I knew I've tried to find the light to lead me out of this dark place I am lost these demons will not let me through I've reached the end that final wall with nowhere left to run I've turned to face the past to face the fears I've seen the eyes of every soul I ever sent to God I stand here and I drown in my own tears

168
Jess A flower means so much to her In ways we’ll never know She lives within a world so small Where we can never go To love her means to hold her close Within a mothers heart To never let her feel alone To never be apart She cannot tell you how she feels Nor can she show you love She holds it there within her heart A hand trapped in a glove Yet as she holds that flower A miracle breaks through A gentle sound to touch your soul Two simple words ‘Thank you’

169
I close my eyes This sea a frozen desert of memories and fear Surrounded by the forests of regret It floats upon an ocean filled with tears I shed for you And stands within the world where first we met The trees within the forests silent sentinels they stand Leaves all hanging lowly in despair Darkness holds them firmly as the life within them fails And the sound of silence echoes everywhere Mists of sadness formed within rise slowly from below Like fingers ever crawling over me I close my eyes slow my heart tell my spirit fly I pray this pain will some day set me free

You In my mind you are ever there Your love empowers me I feel your presence in my soul It's where you will always be

170
Without you I can’t go on if all that’s left is loneliness and pain I cannot bear this sadness in my heart This emptiness within my life is just too hard to bear These memories are tearing me apart I can’t see through this fog that clouds My path with every breath I look but I can’t find you in this place There is no light to guide my soul no sign to lead me on But everywhere I look I see your face I can’t forgive myself for all the stupid things I’ve done I left you there to face this world alone Though you may find it in your heart to throw the past away It is around my neck a miller’s stone I pray to God’s of every kind no matter where they are That you have found that place you longed to be That finally you’re happy and your smile is ever more I hope that you will hold a place for me I can’t go on if all that’s left is loneliness and pain I just can’t face another night alone I wish that I could be the man I know you want me to But I just can’t fight these demons on my own

171
I miss you so I watched you move away from me I cried it broke my heart It wasn't you who walked away to tear us both apart I saw the tears stream down your face Looking back through glass I felt the cold steel handcuffs lock that memory still lasts As we drove apart that day my soul reached out for yours We touched within a secret place and vowed forever more I promised I'd return for you, find you, bring you home I never meant to leave you there so long, so lost, alone They pushed me in a concrete cell And slammed that cold steel door My eyes became a river and my knees crashed to the floor My heart has never felt such pain my soul such emptiness I cried from somewhere deep inside My soul could do no less But now I don't know where you are, I look but I can't see I left you oh so long ago but now it's you leaves me I never meant to hurt you, to leave you all alone I meant for you to wait for me until I brought you home So many things that went so wrong, so much I didn't see Your trust it never wavered as you waited there for me My life became so filled with pain, too much for me to bear I fell my love I couldn't stand, I didn't have you there This image in my mind so strong, now all I have of you It tears at every cell within it burns me through and through I cannot hold you in my arms or kiss your lips so sweet I pray it won't be long my love until once more we meet I lay my soul before all Gods and beg them let me go My soul in tears my eyes are dry my love, I miss you so

172
A Billion Bucks

If I had a billion dollars I'm not sure what I'd do I'd probably just sit and think about it for a while I might decide to buy a car or take a holiday Or maybe buy somebody else a smile I think that I'd invest somewhere buy a little place Not too flash but enough for me and you A swimming pool the size of Mars a pool room and a gym A private place for times when I feel blue Yachts would also probably be on my shopping list No sails for me just sunning room and whopping great V8's A fishing rod or two and poles not meant for that The kind of boat you'd spend some time with mates I guess a motor bike would be on the list somewhere Something big and noisy would do fine I miss the open road the wind the sun the feel Just riding like the whole damned world is mine Maybe I'd spend some money on a big hot air balloon Champagne breakfasts floating overhead End each day with smiles and you In a king sized water bed But I can't imagine anything a billion bucks could buy From stardust to a Mariachi Band That could match the raw emotion I feel within my heart When you reach across and take me by the hand

173
I envy you I envy you To be so close to feel such love To hold such beauty near To feel the warmth within that breast Would bring my heart to tears I envy you To be so loved by one so sweet To know that love so true To know that look within her eyes Is there for no-one but you I envy you I sit alone and wonder at The things you cannot see My life would be much different If that love were aimed at me I envy you

174
How many How long can one man look at life and still want to believe That there are higher reasons for this place That all of this is worth the pain and suffering we feel That one day we will look upon his face How many times must one man’s soul Be stretched and torn apart Before he cries out help me in despair Before he takes a gun and puts it slowly to his head Before he walks away to simply die alone somewhere How many ways must one man cry to those he cannot see To those whose only truth is in a word To those who seem to be just one more fairy tale in life To those who never tell you that they heard How many tears must one man cry with every demon faced How many times must he fall to his knees How many scars will be enough to satisfy his pain How many, somebody tell me please

175

Empty Bowls She stands with arms outstretched Empty bowl in upturned hands Looking for a friendly face Somewhere in this great land Her clothes are torn her hair a mess A face that shows the pain Of standing here just as she is Day after hungry day I tuck into my T-bone steak The prawns and salad too I look at all the others here They're all the same as me and you I doubt we've known the hunger That makes this young girl stand Just skin and bone she's not alone Among this sea of hands I wonder if we understand Do we even care We didn't make the rules That keep her standing there She's not my color or my race Why should I give a damn It's not my fault she's where she is I'm happy where I am Yet as I look through misty glass

176
And raise my glass of wine I see her standing arms outstretched It shakes this heart of mine How can I live the way I do And know across the world Hungry hands hold empty bowls Just like this little girl I cannot help them everywhere Or feed them all world wide But I can take these upturned hands And help this one small child

177
For Cath If I could turn the hands of time To days when we were young When life was full of hopes and dreams and you Where every moment seemed That it would stretch forever more And everything about you was so true I'd take each day as if it were the last we ever had And never let your hand slip out of mine Those days were filled with happiness And sunshine filled my heart Who knew that we were running out of time Young hearts can never see the end When new love holds them so Emotions run there is no time for fears We held each other endlessly and lives were filled with joy True love was never meant to end in tears If I could hold you in my arms and wipe away the past I'd tell you just how much you mean to me Our lives may never be the same my heart may never heal I loved you and it hurts to set you free

178
Lost I struggle so to understand this mess I feel inside Emotions clamber all around I've nowhere left to hide Each time I open up my eyes my heart begins to cry I'm lost because I'm so in love with you I see you walking down the street I want to call your name You turn and smile I want you so it's driving me insane A breath of wind slips through your hair tears begin to well I'm lost because I'm so in love with you I know you'll never feel the same and you will never know This turmoil buried deep within me I can never show But every time I take a breath your fragrance fills the air I'm lost because I'm so in love with you I will hold you in my dreams for dreams can keep you near And there I'll whisper words of love so softly in your ear You may never know just what it is you mean to me But I'm lost because I'm so in love with you

179
Changed The rules that we live by change every day It's all right to kill in a war It's ok to rape them and take what you want As long as that's what you are there for If they've got what you want and you are the man Just march in and make it your own Don't worry for those that you kill on the way Or the people that you leave alone So tell me good preacher, lawyer or judge Before you lock me in a cell What makes you think an angel came back From that place somewhere so close to hell Don't sit in judgment on me for my sins When your sins are far worse than mine I didn't tell men to go fight a war And then leave them in tears far behind Don't talk to me of morals and laws When they only apply in your world You and your kind issued the word That forced me to shoot a young girl You sent me to hell and expected me back As the nice boy you think I should be But that nice boy died on the side of a hill What came back can never be free So put me away close all the doors Make sure you hide me from view Don't let me walk in your world full of rules For I no longer see as you do The rules that you live by change day by day There's no room for me in this place I'll fight for you kill for you do what you want But don't ever let me see your face

180
How is it fair How is it fair this thing we call life How the hell does it make any sense How do we balance the good and the bad Does it make any bloody difference I sit and remember the people I've known All those faces my memory can find Most are now gone but I'm still sitting here They only survive in my mind I've gone through hell and several times I've done things that still make me cry Faced every demon and angel alike Still alive and I can't work out why I watched friends and lovers lay cold and still Wished the same on yet others I knew Stared at the headstones of children so young Trying to reach out to you What does it matter how I live my life If after I'm gone it's all done Why should I bother to do the right thing Nobody will care when I'm gone Why can't I just live my life as I please Why must I live it your way Falling in love and making mistakes Living my life day by day I find myself always controlled by a fear Of what other people may think Of crossing a line that I can't even see One step too far off the brink This world makes me crazy and kills me with rules Morals that just make no sense You're too young for this and too old for that It's all just too fucking intense

181
(How is it fair – continued)

I've lived enough years to know what I want And enough that I know what I don't So your views and mine just don't see eye to eye But your views get jammed down my throat So how is it fair this life you tell me What the hell do you want me to do I'm too old to love you you're too young to know I just can't see any way through I'm tired of fighting and sick of the pain Not sure that I want to go on Just don't see the point of taking that step When I know I will take it alone So tell me How is it fair this thing you call life Take a look from your throne up above How do I balance the wrong in my life When all that I wanted was love

182
I Wish The end of my life draws near I think of you and I cry I sit here alone and my eyes close once more And I wish I could tell you goodbye I've made such a mess of my life And probably your lives as well I wish I could change all those things that I did But I can't and they'll send me to hell What can I say to you now As I sit and I look at this place I remember the times that we shared you and I I picture your sweet smiling face I can't take this future alone The road that I walked is no more The fields are all barren the sky turns dark grey As I lay here alone on this floor I wish I could hold you again The times that we had seemed to fly Those memories flood through my mind one last time And I wish I had told you goodbye

183
I can’t let go I can't let you go God knows I've tried Day after day hour after hour I've called out your name And I've cried They try so hard to understand This pain I'm going through They tell me time Will heal the wound That I'll get over you They say that I must turn a leaf But I don't want to leave My life is stalled My heart is still I don't know how to grieve Please help me lord don't leave me here Don't turn and walk away I just don't know If I can take Another lonely day You were to me the air I breathe The beating of my heart You've gone somewhere I cannot be It's tearing me apart I know that you are watching Whispering my name Each night I'm calling out to you I know you do the same Please save me from this emptiness Find your way to me Reach out from where ere you are

184
(I can’t let you go – continued)

Touch my soul Set me free I just can't let go God knows I try I feel you standing next to me I close my eyes And I cry

No escape Shadows fall the sun goes down My world starts closing in Alone once more within my room The heart wrenching begins I fill my head with TV shows I read a book or two I try to sleep but it's no use There's no escape from you

185
In your arms again The sky so clear above me Sun so warm and bright Each step will bring me closer As I walk into the night The breeze so cool around me No sound to tempt my ears The ground so quickly gathering Sweet water from my tears The sun now high above me No shadows guide my way The fires of hell come closer now As I walk on through the day This ground beneath my feet now hard The shadows growing long The compass points where I must go I hope it isn't wrong My life has been a messy place Since the day God dragged me in The outside looks so squeaky clean The inside filled with sin I wish that I could change the past Make it go away Pick another road to walk Into a better day The air grows cool the sun goes down The moon begins to rise Stars are growing brighter And the tears still fill my eyes I lay my back against the earth And stare up into space I swallow hard and close my eyes Still searching for your face

186
(In your arms again - continued)

I feel my senses slip away I softly speak your name As darkness comes to cover me I'll be in your arms again

187
A World without you A world without you makes no sense At least none that I can see You made the whole damned thing worthwhile It revolved for you and me I always knew that you were there Somewhere some place some how That knowledge made each day go by But I can't find you now The sun comes up and life goes on It's the same day after day But the colour's gone and it's just cold Since God took you away I used to feel like I could fly Whenever you were near Now I fall flat on my face It's hard without you here I look at those who fill my life I love them every one My smile will always light their eyes But I'm lonely since you're gone You were the reason I exist That fire within my heart The flame has died the light has dimmed Since we have been apart I hope my love with all my soul That you have just moved on For my life will have no meaning If you are simply gone I searched for you through all those years That life kept us apart I always knew I'd find you Somewhere deep in my heart

188
(A world without you - continued)

A world without you makes no sense It's tearing me in two I'd give everything I am To be once more with you Oh God just hear this one last prayer No matter where I go I will forever love her Please God, just let her know

Getting Old Do you know what annoys me about getting old It's the way other people react It's the labels they stick on you day after day And they're pissing me off that's a fact An old vase is antique but still worth a mint While old cars are classics for hire Just cos I'm older than you understand Doesn't mean that my hearts not on fire Age isn't something you wish on yourself It's not a tattoo that you choose So stop treating me like I'm already dead For your own youth you'll too quickly lose What really annoys me about getting old Is that youth thinks it's better than me But be careful what labels you're making today Because you'll be old too, wait and see

189
Eternal Midnight I sit and I look through the photos we had I read all the letters you wrote I run my tired hands through the grass at my feet But my words just get stuck in my throat I watch Duck Billed Platypus playing near by I stare at the place we once lay I want so to hold you to look in your eyes But you are not with me today So I think of the times that we shared you and I I remember the feeling of you I can still taste your lips I can still smell your hair Your eyes were so deep and so blue That smile that you gave me the youth of your skin The feel of your hand holding mine No other will ever touch me in that place Even if God makes me live for all time But this emptiness now that lives in my soul Makes it hard to go on every day Memories can't hold me close through the night And I'm lonely since you went away So now as I sit here and tears start to flow I wonder my love can you hear As my heart falls apart and my life slowly fades It's the darkness ahead that I fear For you were my light my beacon so strong While it shone I knew you were there Now I stare into night across dark ocean waves But I can't see your light anywhere So I choose just one image to flood through my mind Of you in the softest moonlight My hands hold your face your eyes into mine As I walk to eternal midnight

190
I need to tell you I need to tell you of a man Who walked this sunburnt land A man who travelled far and wide Across oceans fields and sand I need to tell you of the things Done in the name of war Of times that made him cry in shame And the horrors that he saw I need to tell you of the times When mankind lived in fear When fingers tapped red buttons and When death was oh so near I need to tell you of the eyes That changed the way I live A knowing look that made me do Something thing I can't forgive I need to tell you of the fight That's tearing me apart Of memories and nightmares Still clawing at my heart I need to tell you so damned much And yet I know somehow That if I do you won't believe Because you're here and now

191
A father now alone Memories of days gone by Loves and lovers lost Images invade my mind Not sure it's worth the cost Voices whisper in my ears Shadows touch within Mists of sadness rise around And then the tears begin A motorcycle speeds away A bus comes round a bend My love is reaching out to me Her life comes to an end A baby cries but doesn't know Her mother won't be home A shattered man falls to his knees A father now alone

192
Chinatown I sit alone in Chinatown I think of days gone by I watch young lovers laugh and smile It almost makes me cry The crowds of people passing by All lost in their own worlds I watch a young lad much like me Eyeing off the girls A Quarter Pounder disappears A coke goes everywhere An Asian girl smiles sweetly As she brushes long black hair A tram pulls in to pick up those Who travel home from work A man with cameras on his shoes Spies up into a skirt The smell of food invades my mind The bustle of this place It's Chinatown and there's so much To stuff into your face I love this god damned city I love what it can do I love that it can bring me back To memories of you Chickens feet and sushi rolls Crab soup eels and fish Anything your heart desires Is served up in a dish Chinatown just brings me back To roots I'd long forgot Once more I find I realise I miss this place a lot

193
Dear God
Dear God Please help me understand the things I see each day Show me how that child can die while I can walk away Let my eyes see what you see and feel the things you do Then maybe I could show the world why they should turn to you Please God Give me something anything that I can plainly see Something that will make it clear just how much you love me I wasn't here when Jesus lived and I didn't see him die I know I shouldn't ask for proof but I'm fighting fear and lies Dear God I stare ahead at darkness and I see no guiding light The signposts have been moved so much I know they can't be right I hear the preachers speak the words but they're as blind as me Not one of them can show me how to set my spirit free Please God Just break the rules this once and take me by the hand Lead me on from where I am to see the promised land Take me to a mountain top where I can cry alone Hold my heart within your hand and show me that I'm home Dear God Help me believe in all you are and throw my sins away Give me peace within my heart for I have none today Take this darkness from my soul and show me where you are Please God you'll need to find me for I fear I've fallen far

194
Tears from those above My life has taken many turns I've travelled many roads That led me to the place I stand today I've seen a million faces scattered out in many lands I've been troubled lost and often led astray As I sit here with my memories this album of my life I am forced to look at all that I've done wrong But I also see the good things that made me who I am It balances the more I move along None of us are perfect though we may think we are And what we do affects those that we love We need to learn from our mistakes and those of others too For raindrops are the tears from those above I will not sit in judgment based on only what I'm told And I do not ask any more of you For every story has two sides as scales of justice show Live your life on what you know is true I may not be the perfect man to be loved by one and all A checkered past is in my resume But I can look you in the eye and tell you straight and true An honest man stands here with you today

195
Rumors and Lies I'm so sick and tired of people who lie People who twist everything People you trusted who just let you down And then smile at the pain that they bring I've had it to here with the bullshit and crap That pours out of mouths and not butts These people who can't tell their lies to your face Back stabbers without any guts I guess if you want to believe all the lies Without even checking the facts You'll wind up a loser a dumb piece of shit And your life will just fall through the cracks I'm done being Christian and turning my cheek No more second chances from here You spread lies and rumors about me and mine To me you're no more than a smear I've made mistakes and I've done bad things Not scared to own up to mine But I don't make up stories and I don't have to lie I'll hold my head up just fine So I'm so sick and tired of rumors and lies From people I thought that I knew And I'm over the fuckwits who want to believe My answer is simple Fuck You!

196
The Noose Today's generation is on its own path And it's not one that I want to walk The world of tomorrow appealed once to me Now it seems that I don't talk the talk Decency honesty trust and concern Just don't seem to matter these days This young generation will spit in your face Abuse you then just walk away I wonder what happened where did we go wrong And it's us that we do have to blame Just too damned busy to give them the time Now we just shake our heads and say shame We held back the rod took the power away From those that we trusted to teach We told them don't touch or tread on their rights And took discipline out of their reach Our kids sit in a classroom and do what they want There's not much a teacher can do Facing lack of respect and mouths full of cheek They're pleading to me and to you So look out your window and watch who they are These children we brought to this world Listen to what's coming out of their mouths And it's coming from both boys and girls Take a close look at the world where they live They didn't create it we did Is this really what we want the future to be Sure as hell not where I want to live Today's generation is walking away From all we were taught to respect They don't seem to care what anyone thinks It's a noose made to fit our own necks

197
Ten million memories (May 21 2011) Ten million memories all in one place A monument hidden from view The gallery walls that spread everywhere All filled with these pictures of you Just flashes and sparks made inside my mind A particle world of your love This spectacle rivals the great northern lights Just like them they are sent from above I could spend an eternity lost in this place Crying in room after room Touching your pictures hearing your voice You were taken from me far too soon I will never forget you my sweet angel love You will forever live in my heart Ten million memories held in my soul We will never be too far apart

Amazing She stands within a sea of grass and stretches to the sun A single splash of colour in the sway She is the only flower in this field of endless green And the sight of her just brightens up my day

198
Australia I have walked this great land and seen many things And many strange things have seen me From the sea to the desert and mountains of snow Many places a man can be free I have eaten the fruit of the oceans and land Tasted some pretty weird shit From Emu to Crocodile Kangaroo Snake and Dog To berries that just make you sick I've walked through the desert with those in the know Swum with both Dolphins and Sharks Had a few tussles with blokes that I met That left me with memories and marks Seen the odd sunrise and felt the downpours In places you just shouldn't be Watched a huge rock turn all shades of red That's a sight that you all ought to see I've spent time with people who don't understand A word that I'm trying to say I didn't them and they didn't get me But we managed to laugh through the day I've seen shit that most just wouldn't believe I've met those that don't judge the man Travelled this country and seen what it has Australia, what a fantastic land.

199
Since you’ve gone
Here I sit a single man alone within a crowd It's not a feeling I would recommend Surrounded here on every side by all those I try to help And yet I cannot see a single friend We live within a world so filled with lies and such deceit It's sometimes hard to hold it all inside A single wrong destroys your life a stupid dumb mistake Just makes you want to run away and hide What do you do when those you love turn on you so fast When those you trust show they don't really care How do you make it through each day and not break into tears When you know that they would fall if you're not there What does it take to help a person be who they can be When they're searching for a way to bring you down Why can't I simply walk away and let them go to hell Leave them to their fate in gutter town I have no reason to go on they don't even want me here From the oldest to the youngest I can tell I'm just a slave to their desires the one who pays the bills I live within the confines of that cell I crave the knowledge that there's more to life than we can see I've lost so many people that I love I want to run into their arms and cry forever more In that place that we call heaven far above It hurts so much my heart is dead my soul stands in despair My headstone simply stands and stares at me Not one will care when I am gone not one will shed a tear Oh God I wish that you would set me free I just don't want to live another day in this cold place I can't see any reason to go on I did my best I tried so hard to be the man you loved So hard Teresa Mary since you've gone

200
Why do I cry Why do I cry Why must I live in this world filled with pain When every dark corner holds memories of you I live every moment again and again Why do I feel Why must I see every touch that we shared Each image a wonderful moment in time Of lovers so young and so scared Why do I care Why must I feel all this sadness inside What makes it right when it all seems so wrong My heart should have stopped when you died Why do I love Why must I weep when I think of your eyes How can I live one more day in this world When the thought of you just makes me cry Why do I live Why must I survive in a world without you What plan can God have for someone like me Would it matter if I even knew Why do I cry Why must I walk every step on my own What good are tears when they can't bring you back I hold you but I'm all alone

201
Wouldn’t it be nice Wouldn't it be nice If I could bring you back If I could wave my hand and make it all work right If I could say the word and change the day To have the power to be the one Who could change the world today Wouldn't it be nice To have such ability within To make life what it should have been for you To take away the pain and hurt you felt until the end What wouldn't I give to have you back To have you here beside me as my friend Wouldn't it be nice If fairy tales were real If frogs could turn to princess with a kiss If love could last forever and your lips could heal the pain If I could speak a word to bring you here And we could be together once again Wouldn't that be nice

202
What am I to do What am I to do All the light in my life is gone from me And it's always the same Is my night never ending What am I to do All my hopes and my dreams went wrong it seems There's a smile on my face But you know I'm pretending Here I'm living my life One day at a time Cos I can't see what else to do Finding some time To sort out my mind I'm alone now I don't have you What am I to say When my words don't mean the same to you When it don't mean a thing That I'm standing in darkness What am I to say When I try all the world turns away from me Do I drown in my tears In an ocean that's faceless And I'm living my life One day at a time Cos there's just nothing else to do Biding my time Alone in my mind Cos I don't know what else to do What am I to do

203
Life’s no Etch-A-Sketch Mohamed Buddha Jesus Christ Venus Thor and Zeus Just what the hell does one man have to do I prayed to every one of you and sacrificed my pride What's it take to get it through to you You fill a great big bowl with shit then hand it on to me Tell me 'here make something nice with this' Doesn't matter what I do the bloody thing still stinks I get no help I may as well get pissed Just what the hell do you expect sitting on your throne I'm not like you with power of life and death This life is not an Etch-a-sketch at least for us poor sods We struggle just to make ends meet fight for every breath It's all so nice to talk of peace and turn the other cheek I got just two and trust me they are bruised So just this once ignore the rest and listen to my plea Its life or death and you don't want me to choose Done my best to make this work That's what you asked of me And all I asked is help from one of you So Buddha Jesus Venus Thor Zeus Mohamed God One of you do something Cos if you don't I'm through

204
Hey God Hey God, I know you're there There's all these people books and things That tell me you are near All these groups and crowds keep telling me That I shouldn't live in fear He's in your heart he's in your head He's everywhere it seems He's in your bloody kitchen drawer He's even in your dreams He's in the flowers and the trees The clouds and wind and rain He's in the sunlight and the moon He's even in the drains He takes you by the hand they say And leads you on the path You see his footsteps everywhere Do you mind, I'm in the bath I know that you see everything You know all there is to know You see so deep inside me that I've nowhere left to go You know my hopes you know my dreams You know my every need You've known me since I was conceived That tiny little seed And if you know me oh so well And if you feel my pain Please tell me will you ever come And talk to me again?

205
Some people Many people live in fear of what they will become Trapped within a world they can't escape Where nothing seems to be quite right Shadows rise and fall And darkness is the picture that they paint Such people cannot see the world the same as you and I For images are twisted in their minds The words we speak not what they hear Our meaning lost somewhere Among the pain and sadness that they find Step out onto a road that's filled with speeding cars Tell yourself you'll make it in the end Stand before a moving train Now look inside your heart That feeling is anxiety my friend Imagine that you've lost it all friends and family too You've fallen to the bottom of a well You're looking up but you can't climb Alone forever more Depression is a very lonely hell Don't judge another by the words of people who don't care Take the time to look inside yourself Understand that what you see may not be what is real Some people just might need a little help

206
I’m tired I'm tired My heart is sore my well is dry I've done all that I can This life is like a desert dry and wide I understand how Moses felt for 40 long hard years How very much alone he felt inside From high upon a mountain he came down with the rules To find his family messing round with gold Left alone for just a while they turned back their own lives And became the slaves to lust they were of old I look at those around me and I wonder what to do Do I keep on trying til I breathe no more Do I walk on through this desert asking them to follow on Or walk away and close the final door This world is not the place I had hoped that it would be And life just isn't working out it seems I've done my best at least I've tried to live a better life Now it appears it's all just been pipe dreams So I'm tired now and want to sleep but I can't do that yet I've still got lots of sand beneath my feet I need to climb that mountain one last time and talk to God I'm hoping that he'll still be there to meet I need a dose of wisdom and a big old hit of strength Need to find some guidance in my soul But this mountains high the path is long I can't see the top I can feel it in my bones I'm getting old So I'll walk on through this desert til I can walk no more I'll hold my head up high and face the son And when I find that place I need I'll lift my head and smile Then I'll sleep because I'll know my job is done

207
I’m done I'm done with all this immature rubbish that you throw I'm through with all your bullshit and your lies I've had enough of all the crap that you heap up on me Just so you know it isn't me who cries You like to act the bad ass the one who knows it all But you just don't have the balls to face the truth You're a sponge to soak up all the shit That others leave behind And you'll do it for you still live in your youth One day you'll learn that what you hear isn't always true That people lie to cover their own sins That day you'll realise that what you've done was wrong One day you'll learn that losers never win So if you want to judge me on the lies that others tell Go right ahead but understand one thing The only one who raised a hand when you were all in need Is the one to whom this pain you choose to bring But I'm done with all the rubbish That you choose to throw my way I'm tired of being nice to childish fools I've had enough of all the crap You're throwing round these days So now the second half is by my rules Those who lie and sew deceit will one day face the truth That day I will be there with those you know And I will show no mercy I will speak no good of you As to the fires of hell we watch you go

208
Gutters and Scum Life throws some crap at you day after day You take it on board and you sigh You make up your mind that you'll handle it all Or you get drunk or get angry or high Words are just words and they can't break the glass Sticks and stones may.. well you know the rest But sometimes the shit sticks and causes you grief And that feeling just isn't the best So you try to live clean you try to do right But some people will be who they are You're dragged through the mud by scumbags with lies Those dwellers just take it too far Gutter rats live in the filth they create It's not the life most people choose If you listen to whispers that come from down there In the end it is you who will lose So when life throws some crap at you brush it away Don't let it get on your nerves And the scum from the gutters just need to be flushed For that's all the respect they deserve

209
If I told you that If I told you that I love you would you care If I said don't ever leave would you be there If I begged your hand in marriage Promised forever to be true If I told the world I love you would you care If you found me with another would you leave If I said it wasn't true would you believe If I begged you to forgive me Promised I would never stray If I said there is no other would you leave If I told you that I need you would you stay If I begged you just to give me one more day If I said I'd fall upon my sword Give my life for you If I said I'd never leave you would you stay If I said you are my whole world would you know If I looked into your eyes and let it show If I told you that I couldn't live Without you by my side If my heart bled when I see you would you know If I called up to the heavens would you hear If I didn't get an answer should I fear If my soul began the journey Just to be back by your side If I took that lonely road would you be near If I cried out that I love you would you care If I said I'm on my way would you be there If I knock upon the golden doors And hear the handle turn When they open will I find that you still care

210
I think I’m depressed I think I'm fucked my life’s a wreck My pants don't fit no more My shirts are stupid floral things And my feet are fucking sore I can't pick out a tie to wear My hairs a fucking joke My jackets full of flecks of white And it smells of old stale smokes I search but I can't find my keys Got a date in half an hour I'd love a cup of coffee now But the milks gone fucking sour Step outside to hit the road Keys are in the car It's pissing down my tires are flat I ain't going fucking far Call a cab that's what I'll do Slam the old front door Phones inside keys in the car I just can't take no more I'll just sit here and hang my head Neighbours dog comes by Cocks his leg and says your mine Up and down my fucking thigh So as I sit a soaking mess And wonder what to do Thank your lucky fucking stars Tonight’s date wasn't you

211
Don’t make a mistake You make a mistake, you didn't mean to It's just one of those things that we do A joke that don't work or one stupid word And it's suddenly all done for you So many people just want you to be All funny and happy and cool So you do what you can to make people smile Then you end up just looking the fool Sometimes you just wonder is it worth your while Is it worth all the heartache and pain You try so fucking hard to be what they want Then they stomp on your head once again When everything’s nice or they find they're in need You're the friend they just can't live without But you do something wrong you make one mistake Then you're fucked, as a friend you are out I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way Trying to keep a big smile on my face It shouldn't be there for it’s not in my heart I've just got too much crap on my plate Why the hell do I bother why the hell do I try What's the point when they don't give a damn I'm just hugging a tree that couldn't care less And its killing the person I am So you make a mistake and the world falls apart Everyone else is so perfect it seems Til the next time they need you You just don't exist And forgiveness is only in dreams

212
Why won’t it stop Why won't it stop this shit in my head Why can't I get rid of it This crap in my head drives me fucking insane And it leaves me just feeling like shit I've heard all the talk of forgiveness of sins And I tell everyone move ahead Forget about yesterday live for today But my soul tells me reason is dead I can't open my eyes without feeling this lust That kills me again and again I want it to stop but it pushes on through All this crap and it invades my brain There's hate and there's anger and laughter and joy There's sadness and pleasure and more But there's also this lust that just will not let go And its been there since times gone before Why can't I enjoy all this beauty I see Without feeling dirty inside Why must I smile and pretend I'm ok When I just want to run off and hide I hate what I am and I hate what I do And I hate what goes on in my mind But I just can't escape all this hunger I feel Sometimes I wish I'd been born blind Why can't I stop it why is it there Why must I weep every night I want so to stop but it won't go away God help me I'm too tired to fight

213
This child of mine It’s pretty sad when all you have is gone When those you loved and trusted leave you all alone To see the footsteps of your life get covered up with dirt To fight the hardest battle on your own I know I haven't been the best in life that I could be Made mistakes and left a broken trail for all to see I've done wrong and paid the price an angel I am not But you cut the ropes and simply set me free I never tried to be what I am not Though you all seem to think I should be more Before you saw the faults and flaws You were knocking on my door For all those years I held you up stood and took it all Faced the devil and his hordes would not let you fall When all I ever asked of you was to believe in me Now you don't even answer when I call Why is it so easy to lay the blame on someone else To turn around and throw it all right back in their face Why can't you stop and look inside yourself Or would that somehow put you back in your place I never said I'm perfect that's something I can't be No halo sits above my head and I can't part the sea I am a man and not a saint I would think that part is clear After all this time I would expect you would know me So it’s pretty sad when those you love Are not there on the day When those in whom you trusted Won't believe a word you say To turn and face the enemy expecting help to come Just to find that they have joined them And their guns now face your way So now I truly understand what conditional love means I'll love you when you're good to me but only then it seems But my love doesn't work like that I couldn't walk away

214
(This child of mine – continued)

I'd never turn my back on you But then I must live in dreams I'll walk this road alone again and leave you all behind I'll fight the demons on my own and until the end of time My eyes are wet my heart in pain as I slowly walk away For I fear that I have lost this child of mine

The unspoken word The unspoken word how strong it can be A look just a turn of the eye A soft centered smile a flick of the hair A fragrance as someone walks by One move of the hip a small finger curl A look that just tells you to come The unspoken word is as strong as all hell When it comes from that special someone

215
I’ve been thinking I've been sitting here thinking about you and me What makes us the people we are Is it just how we look how we act what we say Maybe so but I think there is more We lost most of our hair and walk on two legs And we reason and think and invent But what makes us different from those other big apes Is it something within heaven sent Do we really believe that we came from the earth From this dust bowl that swirls at our feet Or did we evolve just like everything else Is there somewhere that those two can meet I see so much difference in those all around The colour of skin hair and eyes We live in the deserts the forests the seas And travel around in the skies As I look at the species that live here with us That share this great place we call home Not a single one differs as much as we do Maybe there's more yet to come We humans are not quite the same as the apes There's something that sets us apart It isn't intelligence strength size or speed But something that lives in our heart Why are we so different from all of the rest What sets us apart from them all Evolution has made us the top of the chain We have so much further to fall I've been sitting here thinking about you and me This species the whole human race I think there's just one thing that makes us unique And it's there in that smile on your face

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Someone
I held someone not long ago who made my life worthwhile She made me feel so full of life she made me want to smile A single moment in her arms could fill me with such power I wish that I could see her now and hold her for a while I knew someone who gave me hope and faith to carry on She gave me reason for each breath but now someone is gone I stood and watched her drive away I never realised That the next time that I saw her I would find myself alone I miss someone so very much it hurts so deep inside The darkness that she left behind leaves me no place to hide I need the light that someone gave to guide me on my way Without someone there's no-one left in whom I can confide I loved someone not long ago and that love still lives within The image of her soft blue eyes makes memories begin Someone exists within my heart and there she'll always be A candle flickering in the rain that's how she's always been I held someone not long ago through wind and sun and rain Now someone’s gone and I can't fight this loneliness and pain She made me feel so full of life but now I'm here alone I miss someone and wish that I could hold her once again

217
Agora what! Today didn't start so bad Got both my arms and both my legs And all my fingers n toes My hair's still there, appetite, thirst all pretty good My eyes still work and I can see There's stuff stuck in my nose I got things to do, people to see A whole world to explore I wish the fuck I could make myself Walk out this frigging door I see the others all outside smiling through the day There's kids and babies mums and dads And dogs and cats and cars There's birds and bees and fucking flowers Little green men from Mars There's this kid who looks me in the eye And grins that stupid grin The cop who lives across the road Who just wants to run me in There's planes and bikes and trains and stuff All making lots of noise There's girls all looking in at me And calling all the boys The faces all around me now Pressing on the window panes I think I'll just sit down and wait Till today comes round again Do you even have a clue what this worlds like for me To be so fucking petrified Of stepping through that door To be an Agoraphobic is to live in mortal fear That you'll be trapped inside this house Forever more

218
Silver Spoon A baby cries a mournful sound A gutter in an alley in a street Silence echoes off the walls and windows close above For death is something no-one cares to meet A woman lay’s so still and yet There is a movement there Clinging to life a newborn cries but that won't last for long The roaches and the cold will strip her bare The mother of this newborn child A vibrant life gone wrong A needle spoon and lighter lay used up by her side A busker in the distance sings a song She tried so hard to be the one Her family wanted her to be But life is hard this world is tough and so much falls apart And the needles contents set her spirit free So now she lay’s her life is gone Her baby follows soon Born to a life of wealth and fame Her world too often bought She dies from what was in her silver spoon And so the silence comes again The baby’s cries are gone Far above the moon is slowly breaking through the clouds And the busker sings another soulful song

219
To a mother, to a sister, to a daughter, to a wife I stared into the eyes of one who lived a violent life I watched as fear turned into nothingness As life flowed out in pools of blood And darkness claimed his soul I held him for I could do no more no less The hole within his chest was there Because he threatened me A single shot fired in the heat of war We knew each other not as friends But friends we then became As I held him on that bloody jungle floor No words were spoken we both knew That neither should be there Our eyes met in such sadness that I saw into his soul No medic came to help for they tended to our own But we understood a moment in that hole I pray that we will meet again that God gives us a way To forgive each other for this dying place His family should know he died protecting what he loved And his tears left trails for them upon his face This man was there to fight a war he didn't understand He didn't want to fight or maim or kill He was ordered to protect his land From those who came to steal And I'll be with him forever on that hill He never made it back to those he loved so very much He didn't speak a language that I knew But he told me all I need to know his eyes revealed his soul He handed me a photograph of you I pray that you'll forgive me for taking him away Please understand that every night I cry We came to fight within a war we didn't understand But you know I saw forgiveness in his eyes I stared into the eyes of one who didn't want to die I watched as his life slowly ebbed away

220
(To a mother – continued)

I spilled his blood and darkness slowly came To claim his soul I held him and I still hold him today

221
Feel like I’m home I look out the window and suddenly see The reason I hate her so much It's not that she's done stuff to make me feel bad She's just that right mix of corrupt She's dirty she's smelly she gets on your nerves She'll kiss you then take all you've got She'll lie to you steal from you make you feel great Then she'll fuck you and leave you to rot She leaves in your soul and indelible mark That identifies you as her own When I look out this window, its Sydney I see And sadly I feel like I'm home Ducks Back Water off a monkey's back Or should that be a duck It's one of them I can't be sure But I don't give a .... Anyway it seems to me That life should be up front He who stabs you in the back Is nothing but a .... So take a friendly word from me Be careful what you say If you and I should come to blows You will not walk away

222
Cold In my room ghostly fingers Up and down my spine The chill of winter covers me I want the sun to shine The mist is rising from the ground As fog taps on the glass Dark shadows come to torture me I want this night to pass The moonlight fails to penetrate This cloud that covers me Sounds of memories long gone Just will not let me be Now the whispers of the wind Calling out my name Blow everywhere within my mind I cannot play this game I huddle deep within the warmth Of blankets on my bed The ghosts of winter reach for me They want me to be dead I wait for morning silently For dawn can set me free The night is long but I am sure The sun will come for me

223
Paralysed She sits and stares into my eyes Her hand rests here in mine Lips so gently parted I want to cross that line Her hair hangs loosely down her back And on her shoulders bare I want so much to hold her close Show her that I care She leans so close I want to cry Her breath against my cheek She whispers something in my ear My eyes begin to leak Soft arms hold me close until Her heart beats deep in me I want to scream into her soul Don't ever set me free I taste her tears I want so much To tell her how I feel I want to hold her in my arms And show her love is real Now as she moves away from me My soul is filled with fear I have to find a way somehow To show her I am here I didn't mean to drive so fast As I came into that bend Please God don't leave me here like this Paralysed until the end

224
Monkeys n drums My body aches my eyes are sore My muscles feel like lead There’s all these monkey's banging drums Everywhere inside my head It seems so long since last I slept My mind is not so sane Voices seem to whisper things That grow inside my brain Something grows so deep within It reaches everywhere They tell me I must change my ways But I no longer care I'm just so bloody tired these days I can't make up my mind Should I stay or should I go Leave you all behind Radiation therapy Might help me struggle through I'm not so sure I want that shit I'd rather be with you Here upon this mountain top I think of those I love And realise the one I want Is somewhere far above My body aches my eyes are sore My muscles hang like lead There's all these monkeys banging drums And I'm wishing I was dead

225
So far So far from me this girl I want And yet within my mind She comes to me to be my own With all that love can find She doesn't see me in this way But oh I wish she could To know that smile is there for me Would feel so very good Within her eyes I sometimes see A wish for something more I want to take her in my arms Have her slowly close the door Within her arms is everything My aching heart desires I want her so my body burns I sink in lustful fires How can I tell her how I feel And not turn her away Her smiling face lights up my life Every single day So far from me this girl I want And never mine it seems But every night she lays with me As I hold her in my dreams

226
Breaks my heart

She still breaks my heart every time she walks by When she sees me she waves with that smile It tears me apart that she'll never be mine But I wish that she was for a while Every day when I see her the sun shines for me I get lost in a fantasy world Every shape every curve lights a fire deep inside And I'd love it if she were my girl The smell of her hair as she hugs me goodbye The touch of her face next to mine She kisses my cheek and time seems to slow It's a feeling that's oh so sublime Have you not had that feeling deep down in your chest Has your heart never once missed a beat Do you not know the difference between love and lust Or that feeling when sometimes they meet She is everything all of my soul wants to hold The power of life in my heart And she'll never be mine but my god if she were I would let nobody tear us apart She still breaks my heart every time she walks by And that smile makes a man want to cry It tears me apart that she cannot be mine But I'll hug her and kiss her goodbye

227
I wonder I wonder what life would be like If this man had never been born How many people would never have met So many hats never worn I wonder if you would still be Would the lives of your friends be the same So many faces never revealed If I was not part of this game I wonder if you even care Well maybe you don't give a damn As long as I don't interfere with your life I'm free to be just who I am I wonder just what you would do If I managed to turn back the years If you woke up tomorrow and suddenly saw All you have in your life disappear I wonder why I feel this way Why does it tear me apart I should be so happy for all that I am But I sit here with my broken my heart I wonder just who would be here If I had turned left and not right How many lives has this one man touched Since his first breath one dark summer night

228
Happiness Toasted ham and cheese sandwiches Butterfly's frogs and snails Dolls and train sets teddy bears Your coat hanging on a nail Puppy dogs kittens goldfish bowls Rabbits and guinea pigs Raindrops falling on a summer night Caterpillars crawling up twigs Children lover’s mums and dads Grandparents baby's and things White wedding cakes confetti and bells A vow and a diamond ring Prawn crackers lobster and curried crab Coffee and cheesecake and scones Flowers crickets and soft autumn leaves Children and big ice cream cones There's so much in life to make people sad Don't let it make you feel blue Open your eyes and just look around Let the simple bring happy to you

229
Time to myself Time to myself, now there's a nice thought Just a beach where my heart can be free A long rod a beer a camp fire and then Your arms wrapped so tight around me Sunlight to warm us a breeze and sea spray The smell of sweet coconut palms Surrounded by oceans I know I could smile And sleep like a child in your arms Life gets so hectic we often forget To enjoy what surrounds us each day We run through this life trying to catch butterfly's And we see nothing else on the way I decided to stop and I'm feeling the rush Of the wind left by those who have not I'll just sit here a while, let my world relax And enjoy what it seems we've forgot Time to myself what a wonderful thought There are so many things I could do But a long rod a camp fire a beach and the stars Would all be much sweeter with you

230
My life My life is so fucked up my world such a mess Everything that I touch turns to mud I can't seem to do any fucking thing right But God help me I wish that I could Everything that I've loved has been taken away Every step that I take a pot hole I reach out for love and I let down my guard And there you are shredding my soul Just what the fuck have I done in the past That life should condemn me to this To leave me here rotting so deep in my sin Waiting alone for deaths kiss I don't understand what it is that life wants From this drop in the ocean called me Why does it keep me here day after day How much more fucked can I be It's not like I want to be who I am Not like you gave me a choice I've tried and I've cried, I've called out to you All these years and I've not heard your voice Now I don't give a fuck what you think any more I just want to fall to my death Don't throw me a line please just let me go And I'll thank you with my dying breath My life is so fucked up I'm over it all I just want to be left alone So life here's the thing find somebody else Take your hand off me, let me go home

231
Fuck it! Fuck it all I don't give a shit You can have it the whole fucking lot The money the house the cars and the boat Take every damned thing that I've got You fucked up my life from the day you walked in And I only have myself to blame Blinded by beauty I just couldn't see That being with you was insane All my friends called me crazy my kids turned away They all knew you were one big mistake I wish now I'd listened and made the right choice But I didn't and love turned to hate So go fuck yourself you X rated bitch Let’s face it you fucked all the rest You left nothing here for anyone else Fucking ripped it right out of my chest And now fuck it all I don't give a damn You've got it the whole fucking lot The money the cars the house and the boat I hope that they choke you you slut

232
My Car So I used to have a car but now I don't The insurance man said it was fucked They ain't gonna pay me and the reason they said Is the guy who was driving got booked Now I wouldn't mind so much but I loved that old car It held lots of memories sweet But they took it away and they pulled it to bits Now she's in every car on the street So I once had a car but now she's no more In pieces all over the place, and If you've bought spare parts and drive past me some day You just might see a smile on my face

233
We We wake up every morning We smile and say hello We jump up from our comfy bed Then off into the day we go We look up at the sunshine We watch the traffic flow We smell the fragrance in the air Then catch a train below We head off to our office We run towards our schools We push our trolleys through the shops Then shake our heads at fools We take a break at lunch time We talk with all our friends We laugh and joke and fool around Then back to work again We stumble through the afternoon We pack it all away We take our places in the queue Then we end our working day We find our way down to the bar We drink we laugh complain We wave goodbye and hit the road Then wonder home again We find the shower hot and clean We crawl back into bed We watch TV we read a book Then try to calm our head I wonder as we lived our day Did a thought once cross our mind For those less fortunate than we To us Life has been kind

234
Missing her

I won't get to see her again And its tearing my heart into bits The thought that I won't see those eyes any more Is so painful it makes me feel sick My soul falls in sorrow today This emptiness grows deep inside She lit up my life as her mother before And left me with nowhere to hide Now I won't get to see her again For the lies and deception have won As I stare at her picture and long for her smile It all blurs for the tears have begun

235
Alone in the dark The lights won't stay on without you I'm sitting alone in the dark The ducks are all gone and the water is cold I'm so damned alone in this park The sun doesn't shine quite so bright Clouds seem to cover my day The world's not so friendly its cold in my heart I'm so lonely since you went away I wish you were here with me now Your head resting here on my chest That smile in your eyes your kiss soft and sweet Those days were quite simply the best I miss you my love oh so much And I know what you'd want me to do Don't live in the past go find somebody else But I can't when my heart longs for you Teardrops now fall from my eyes Joining rivers of sadness below I think of your smile and my heartbeat slows down I love you and need you to know The lights won't stay on without you As I sit here alone in this park I want so to hold you and never let go I feel so alone in the dark

236

Electronic World We live in a world of electronic games Of mobiles and tablets and stuff We drive faster cars and fly everywhere It seems we just can't get enough We're full of fast food and sugar filled drinks No-one seems to cook any more Our kids are out partying dusk until dawn Then collapsing in heaps on the floor Grandma and grandpa are shaking their heads Wondering what have we done Where are the days when parents and kids Spent the day in the park having fun We look at the sunrise and think 'holy shit' Check the watch out the door and we're gone No time to stop and enjoy what we have Headphones on PSP it's just wrong All around us the music of everyday life Has changed and we sing a new song What happened to walks in the sun and a smile Wake up gramps the world has moved on We live in a world that is suddenly small And go everywhere on our ass It's all on a screen in the palm of your hand The real world it seems has gone past

237
The Good Old Days Ahh the good old days No radar guns or cameras Skinny roads and winding tracks Cops right on your arse Leaded fuel was still so cheap Super chargers ruled the day Mustangs Corvettes Ford GT's Simply blew us all away Convertibles with tops right down Long haired girls in skirts Take aways with proper food And always loads of flirts Drive-in movies friday nights Ten pin bowling too Skinny dipping after dark On Bondi beach with you Disco's party's Sandy's place Mental's on the porch Trying to find that zipper When we only had a torch Fumbling fingers in the night Clips that won't undo Ahh the memories I have Of things we used to do The good old days live on in me I wish that you could see The fun we had the things we did When she was here with me Two wheels below us on the road The sound the feel the thrill I remember how it was I hope I always will

238
Pot Pot, weed, marajuana Whatever the hell it’s called It fucks your life and sucks your health And grabs you by the balls It ruins healthy families It costs far more than bucks Its wrong illegal just plain dumb If you need it well then you're fucked So roll that reefer suck that bong If it makes you feel so high Your life must be so fucking sad It makes me want to cry Pot, weed, marajuana No matter what you call the shit It’s not addictive but here's the catch Your life is fucked because of it

239
Do you know Do you know what it’s like to see backs To hear voices but none there for you To be standing alone in the midst of a crowd And you don't know just what you should do Do you know what it’s like to be scared Afraid that you're walking alone Afraid that you'll hurt those you love one last time As you pass through those gates on your own Do you know what it feels like to cry To feel so much sadness all hope falls away To see so much darkness where once there was light Knowing none have a good word to say Do you know what it’s like to be lost Surrounded by strangers once family and friend Surrounded by silence made deeper by stares That empty your soul in the end Do you know what it is to forgive To look in that mirror and see what you see To take just one moment to look at yourself Before making judgment on me

240
I guess maybe I guess you'll maybe miss me When I'm no longer here Perhaps you'll even wish you'd said goodbye One day you'll leave some flowers Even speak a word or two But you'll never understand how much I cried I guess you'll maybe talk about me Stab me in the back Some will speak of things that weren't so bad You might just place my picture In a frame upon a shelf A reminder of the better times we had I guess you'll maybe wonder now Where it all went wrong Why I made your life so god damned tough You'll never see the picture Or truly understand That for all of you I could never do enough I guess you'll maybe shed a tear But will it be for me Or will it be for something that you've lost One day I hope you find a way To see through all the crap And wonder was it really worth the cost I guess you'll maybe miss me When I'm no longer here But you'll live on in your life without the fears Before you leave me in the ground On my headstone place these words "Here lays a man who drowned in his own tears"

241
Why won’t it stop Why won't it stop this shit in my head Why can't I get rid of it This crap in my head drives me fucking insane And it leaves me just feeling like shit I've heard all the talk of forgiveness of sins And I tell everyone move ahead Forget about yesterday live for today But my soul tells me reason is dead I can't open my eyes without feeling this lust That kills me again and again I want it to stop but it pushes on through All this crap and it invades my brain There's hate and there's anger and laughter and joy There's sadness and pleasure and more But there's also this lust that just will not let go And it’s been there since times gone before Why can't I enjoy all this beauty I see Without feeling dirty inside Why must I smile and pretend I'm ok When I just want to run off and hide I hate what I am and I hate what I do And I hate what goes on in my mind But I just can't escape all this hunger I feel Sometimes I wish I'd been born blind Why can't I stop it why is it there Why must I weep every night I want so to stop but it won't go away God help me I'm too tired to fight

242
Will your arms ever reach out for me She plays in my mind and teases me there This girl who takes hold of my heart She has no idea this effect that she has When I'm with her it tears me apart How can I fight it this feeling inside It’s not fair what this life puts us through Takes me to deaths door then opens my eyes Looking straight at this image of you Just what the hell do I do with this pain That cripples me when you are near This wanting within me that won't let me go Can you not see I'm living in fear When will you tell me when will I know Is this loneliness all there will be Can I hope in my heart that you feel this way too Will your arms ever reach out for me Save me If you're there, tell me, If you're real, show me If you know, teach me If you can, save me

243
Secret Kiss Every time I see your face your smile lights up my world Every touch makes me explode I wish you were my girl Every time I think of you my heart beats fast somehow I think that I'd give anything to have you here right now We live within a crazy world where everything moves fast We reach out for the future while we're living in the past Deep down inside where no-one sees another world exists A private world where you and I can share a secret kiss I long to hold you in my arms and feel you close to me I long to feel your lips on mine my love would then be free But I can only hold you in my dreams and memories My love for you will always be that whisper on the breeze

244
I guess maybe I guess you'll maybe miss me When I'm no longer here Perhaps you'll even wish you'd said goodbye One day you'll leave some flowers Even speak a word or two But you'll never understand how much I cried I guess you'll maybe talk about me Stab me in the back Some will speak of things that weren't so bad You might just place my picture In a frame upon a shelf A reminder of the better times we had I guess you'll maybe wonder now Where it all went wrong Why I made your life so god damned tough You'll never see the picture Or truly understand That for all of you I could never do enough I guess you'll maybe shed a tear But will it be for me Or will it be for something that you've lost One day I hope you find a way To see through all the crap And wonder was it really worth the cost I guess you'll maybe miss me When I'm no longer here But you'll live on in your life without the fears Before you leave me in the ground On my headstone place these words "Here lays a man who drowned in his own tears"

245
What the hell happened? What the hell happened Where did it go The last 63 years of my life One minute I'm playing And falling in love The next I've got kids and ex wives Where have they gone All those years that I had How the hell did I end up here I opened my eyes And took my first breath Now I'm old and I'm living in fear It doesn't make sense It just isn't fair All these memories that won't go away I want to go back To those places I loved I'm alone as I lay here today I remember the friends And endless blue fields The quarry where we used to go I remember the girls On the side of a hill Teaching me things that I didn't know We laughed and we loved We hurt and we cried We prayed on the side of that hill We rolled in the grass Watched planes go past And I wish we were doing it still But where has it gone This childhood of mine This world still alive in my head The years have flown by In the blink of an eye

246
Now I lie here alone on this bed My friends are no more Old lovers move on The world has changed too fast for me I stare at the pictures That play in my mind These memories just won't let me be So what the hell happened Where did they go Those 63 years that were mine Is this all there is A heart so full of tears Just one more sad hiccup in time

247
Time Time You can't control it Make it yours Or turn back it's moving hands It rolls on by Takes your life As tides on shifting the sands Each day moves on And takes with it A little more of you It will not slow Nor change its path No matter what you do So live each moment Of your life As if it is your last For happiness Is never found While looking at the past How How do you tell her you love her When you know that love can't be returned How do you tell her you want her Without watching your world crash and burn How do you tell her you need her That you'd die to be with her today How do you tell her you love her And not turn your heartbeat away

248
Close the door I just can't do any more crying Every day I just break down inside I see a small child and a mother near by My emotions have nowhere to hide A waterfall must start from somewhere With raindrops that fall from above This torrent that wells in my eyes every day Isn't just the by-product of love Why do I wake every morning When I don't want to be in this place What must I do to make you let go Must I stand up and spit in your face Please understand what I'm saying I don't want to be here any more I just can't do any more crying Leave me here let me die Close the door Brown eyed girl This brown eyed girl invades my heart She's in my every thought I swim is seas of wild desire And hope that I'll be caught I'd gladly take my final breath And slip beneath her gaze Entangled there and pulled beneath To drown in lustful waves I can't control the way I feel Or make it go away This brown eyed girl invades my heart And I feel it more each day

249
A light in my soul Petals of blue and orange and red With splashes of purple too Yellow and turquoise amber and pink Morning sunlight filtering through Sparkling water glitters and flows Over sand and mosses and reed Soft wings of color rise everywhere As butterflies play in the breeze Fairies and leprechauns goblins and trolls The music of nature surrounds She lays auburn haired on a carpet of green Encircled by color and the sound Her eyes brilliant blue her skin soft and fair Her smile such a sight to behold She captures my heart this girl of my dreams And she burns as a light in my soul

250
Goodbye (2)
I sit in tears my heart is dead there's nothing left for me I weep so hard my chest hurts from the strain No more the world amazes me no more it makes me smile I'm not sure that one man can bear this pain I've felt the sting of bullets and I've tasted my own fear Known the heartbreak only love can bring Seen the darkness deep within that waits for all to fall But this pain right now outreaches everything To feel the ground below your feet start crumbling all around And know that your foundation falls away That feeling as your worlds collide and vacuum fills the air And you wish that you could re-live yesterday I tried so hard to be the man you all want me to be I did the best I could for all of you I walked away from all I loved to give you what you have Now there's only one thing left to do So as I cry I hold within sweet memories we shared I gave you everything that you could live I sit in tears my heart is dead there's nothing left for me You've taken everything I have to give The tears won't stop pain won't ease my heart can take no more It isn't just for you alone I cry I wish that I could bring you all before me one last time But I don't think you want to hear the word Goodbye

251
One word, goodbye That single word can mean so many things Said with a smile it brings such joy for we will meet again Yet with a frown it tells us we are parting with some pain It's amazing the emotions it can bring Goodbye young lovers in a song can make us want to cry Mothers weep hands slip away as soldiers march on by Children stand and wonder why daddy isn't home The mother's tears fall softly as she hangs up the phone A young girl standing with a box she lays within the ground No word escapes her lips but it is there A small boy takes her hand together they are one The silence of goodbye is what they share A crowed platform filled with noise a tear drop on a cheek Two lovers slowly being torn apart Neither of them wants to say the word they feel they must For they know that it would shatter both their hearts A flower floating gently down to rest upon the waves A sobbing heart that will not shed a tear A lonely man upon a boat who whispers out her name And a word he hopes that somehow she will hear Two people who have never met stare into each others eyes As the plane they ride falls quickly from the sky They know they cannot do a thing their lives about to end In silent fear their eyes whisper goodbye A mother stands in silent fear above a tiny grave A single tear forms slowly in her eye She reads the name upon the stone written with such love Underlined with just one word Goodbye A single word that means so much in oh so many ways Depending on the reason it is there It doesn't need to leave the mouth or rise up from a page To show another person that you care

252
Your face My lord exists somewhere some place Though I may not hear his voice There's something that I cannot see It tells me 'make a choice' There's something that I cannot feel Yet it surrounds me now It holds me and it gently guides Towards an end somehow I take each step in total fear Walk into empty space And with each breath I say this prayer Let me once more see your face

253
Mostly Dark I've written lots in the last few months But sadly mostly dark Not the kind of thing you need to see The words may come from deep within And show what's going on But they also give an insight into me We all of us have things we hide Secrets that we keep Thoughts and actions no-one else can know We show the world a friendly face Laugh and joke and smile While living in a darkness down below I have no fear in showing you This heart that beats within The romance and the love I hold inside I'll share with you the memories But you must see the pain That drags me on this roller coaster ride If I were an artist My canvas would be fear Brush strokes would fly blindly to and fro The palette pure confusion So tainted with desire Draw my mind to where it should not go So I have written many things I hope you never see For they would simply make you turn away This man you know this man you love Is not all he could be But he will smile and make you laugh today

254
One more tear I am happiest when I am near you Unhappy whenever I'm not I can't settle my heart And it tears me apart For your love I just haven't got When I see you my heart beats much faster And passion erupts deep within My mind lost in fantasy Built around you Then I find myself drowning in sin I look in your eyes and I tremble I'm lost in the wonder of you The world melts away Every word that you say Makes the gray sky a brilliant blue I don't know any way I can tell you What it is that you do to my heart But I must find that way Find the right words to say For I die more each time we're apart So I'm happiest when I am near you And I'm wishing right now you were here For as you walked away Turned that corner today The world swallowed up one more tear

255
Regret I want to go back, back through the years And fix all the things I did wrong I want to make changes in days that have gone Like re writing the words to my song I want to say sorry to those that I've hurt And stop all the tears that were shed I want to not open that very first door But to stare out the window instead I want to re live it that very first kiss And change how I held her that day I want to sit down on that grass covered hill Softly wipe all her teardrops away I want to be young again maybe a child And not pull the wings off that fly I want to be sitting on grandmother’s knee And gazing up into her eyes I want to correct all those things that I did That led me to where I now stand I want you to know that I'd give all I am For my teardrops to fall in your hands Wonder A bump in the night, a turn of the head A muffled soft whisper or two The light of the moon plays with shadows and then There's a feeling that shivers right through Eyes meet in silent agreement Lips form words best left unsaid The night holds a secret that started within For now there are three in this bed

256
Grandma’s Apple Pie
I want to go eat Oysters In a great big smelly shed I want to open Garlic Clams While sitting on a bed I want Escargots in Cognac Frogs Legs in Garlic sauce And I want Nasi Lemak As my second bloody course I want the taste of Lobster In a Mediterranean bar I want a bowl of Curried Crab Or Macca's in my car I want Doro Wat in Africa Or Momo in Tibet I want the taste of Nian Doubao Just as much as I can get I want to eat Raw Fish Somewhere high up in Japan I want to eat Mlukhiyah Just because I can I want to have a BBQ In Australia's outback I want some Roo and Crocodile On some dry Kimberly track I want to do a Hangi Try some Poisson Cru I want some Mahi Mahi Some gorgeous Haupia too I want some bloody Bacon With Eggs and Fried Mushrooms I want some Pau Pau salad On a beach somewhere with you I want to try out everything Just once before I die Then I'll come back home again To my grandma's Apple Pie

257
Imagine Imagine yourself in a crowd Being quietly pushed to the ledge Silently jostled and nudged on your way Till you're teetering there on the edge Imagine you look back and see All those friends you had back through the years Smiling and waving then turning away Leaving you all alone with your fears Imagine you feel that last push Over the edge and you're gone All that you knew just gets further away And Then suddenly you're all alone Imagine you throw out your arms Reaching for anything there Screaming in terror heart racing fast But all that your hands find is air Imagine you open your eyes And there staring right in your face Is the one that you never expected to see And they followed you into this place Imagine you hold out your hand And a smile lights a fire in your heart All of your fears disappear in that light Now your new journey truly can start Imagine yourself being free With a new road stretched out before you No baggage to slow you no chains tie you down There's no limit to what you can do Imagine yourself anywhere Doing anything you want to do Going anywhere you ever wanted to go Imagine yourself being you

258
Headaches A brick wall a head and a bang That's how it feels every day Trying to teach those who already know And who just will not hear what you say Why do we bother why do we try When we know what the ending will be I guess it will always have something to do With the fact that we care you and me But tell me the answer to this Whose going to be there for you When you're laying in tears at the end of the day Is it worth all the crap you've been through Can you honestly say that you won When you're watching them slide down the drain As you pull all those kitchen knives out of your back Will you ever be free of that pain Maybe the answer is this The next time you look at that wall Understand bricks are harder than heads And just walk away from it all Emotions are not made of rock And people are not made of stone Stop banging your head on that stupid brick wall Or you'll find yourself standing alone

259
Three simple words I love you there's just no denying I can't get you out of my heart Your my last thought at night and my first every day In my mind we are never apart Everything just reminds me of you You're the wallpaper inside my head If I stood in pure heaven surrounded by love I would wish I was with you instead I must hold every moment with you As a child’s hand is held in a glove For I cannot deny how I feel any more Three simple words I'm in love

260
Sometimes Sometimes when we fight And I watch you walk away Something deep down in my heart Loses a whole day Sometimes when we argue Over dumb and stupid things Tears well up within my soul I can't bear the pain it brings Sometimes when I'm angry It makes you angry too I feel so guilty deep inside I just can't look at you Sometimes when we're silent Staring at the wall I want to tell you how I feel I'm so sorry for it all Sometimes when it's over And I hold you close to me I want to whisper in your ear This is how it should always be Sometimes when you're smiling You make me feel so strong And sometimes when you kiss me I know where I belong

261
Smokers Isn't it amazing how quick people jump To defend something dear to their heart Even if doing so ruins their lives Or worse causes others to part I look at a smoker and wonder just why Can't they simply admit to the facts They're addicted to something that's killing them off Everything else is an act Now don't get me wrong I was once in their fold Three packets a day that was me It took me a lifetime to find out the truth But now I am nicotine free I don't say it's easy to simply say no It's not it's a fight every day Now and then I still want one to fill up my lungs But nicotine free I will stay I can't say I'm healthier, probably am I'm no fitter, still can't run a mile I still cough and sputter but not near as much But I have got a much whiter smile One thing that I know since lighting my last I no longer borrow or steal 380 a week, yes that's what I spent Till the day that I jumped off that wheel I don't guarantee that you'll never be ill But I can say it won't keep you down Your clothes won't smell smoky and nor will your hair You'll be nicer to just be around So I'm not going to preach and tell you to quit But I've watched those who haven't and died Just think of your family lovers and friends Or one day you will watch as they cry

262
In your eyes In your eyes I see everything I've ever dreamed Every pleasure that I've ever known I am lost in your gaze entranced by your smile As the seeds of my passion are sewn There is nothing I know of in heaven or earth That compares to the wonder of you One moment of time wrapped in your arms Is like all the love I ever knew There's this something about you and I can't explain Why you do to me just what you do Like a moth to a flame you mesmerize me I would die just to be there with you In your eyes I see all that I want in my life And in your arms I long to be Your smile melts my heart your touch holds my soul I wish you would stay here with me

263
Sitting here I'm sitting here bored my heads in a mess I wish I had something to do Like painting a picture or baking a cake Or laying here just loving you Your face is the first thing that enters my mind When I open my eyes to the day And you're there every moment until my day ends And I find myself drifting away I long for your arms to hold me so close To feel you so warm against me And I crave the taste of your soft lips on mine For my love that's the way it should be So I'm sitting here bored and my heart aches for you I wish I could hold you right now But you're so far away as I sit here alone I'd give all just to change that somehow

264
Shapes in the mist Everything’s falling away Everything that I ever knew Is moving away and leaving me here I can't even hold on to you I feel like I'm standing alone In a world that is turning to sand All the things that I held on to all through my life Are just slipping away through my hands I watch my world fading from view As shapes in the mist disappear Each hope drifts away each dream turns to gray Until I stand here alone in my fear This desert around me is still Not even the wisp of a breeze There's just nothing left and I fall on my own To the sand in my tears on my knees What is there left for me now Where's the reason that I should go on Somebody show me what should I do When all that I loved is now gone Not even a footprint is left there to see It's all gone now I stand here alone There's no hope left for me I no longer dream And even my faith is now gone

265
Ripples in the pond Shadows in the mist Ripples in the pond Sounds within the bushes A slow and perfect song The breeze is whispering gently Sweet spells within in my ear Softest grass sways under foot I feel you drawing near A touch awakes my every sense Fragrance fills the air The sudden silence covers me Then somehow you are there Your lips touch softly on my cheek A shiver down my spine You speak my name across all time And tell me you are mine I know that you can hear me Somehow here in this place For all around me in this mist I swear I see your face

266
Eternity
Is there something after this Somewhere that spirits go Pearly gates so high above Something else below Is there really one called God Who watches over me Someone show me where he is I look but I can't see Don't talk to me of faith and trust Then hang it on a cross Look at me with that stupid grin Then simply say because For what you tell me makes no sense When I see the things you do You tell me I must follow rules That don't apply to you You tell me I must have more faith And step into the night Yet as I watch you walk away I know something isn't right If there is a God on high Watching over me Then he is either blind or else He doesn't want to see And if you truly are his voice His proxy here and now Then we are nothing more than sheep Following a cow If there's something after this Some place where spirits go I don't think I'll be going up I've spent far too long below But I'll be happy either way Eternity or not If it's real I guess I'll go on And if it isn't I'll be forgot

267
The Gambler I feel like a gambler watching the wheel Or a horse as it runs round a track A sky diver standing at 12,000 feet Hoping his chute is well packed A diver who circles while watching a shark Searching in vain for his knife Or a paranoid passenger high in the air As he scribbles a note to his wife I feel like a priest at the end of the day As he stares at the cross on his wall Or a soldier who's ordered to stand up and fight Knowing one day he may fall A high flying acrobat paused in mid swing With no safety net down below Or an astronaught spinning so slowly in space In that moment before he lets go I feel like a gambler who's risking it all On the look in another man’s eyes On the edge of eternity standing alone Will the card be hello or goodbye

268
Tears Time Why is there never enough Always moves forward Never moves back Things sometimes can get pretty rough Wishes Never seem to come true Prayers never answered Dreams never filled If they were I would be here with you Curses I've felt them before Not mumbo jumbo No witches and cats And they rot you right down to the core Dreams Are not just for night They give us direction Move us along They give us a reason to fight Tears

269
What would I do I'm so sick and tired of living life right They way everyone thinks that I should Well I got some stuff that I want to do And I want to do shit that feels good You tell me of God and heaven and hell Who wants me to live life sin free Apostles and miracles water to wine But I can't see what he's done for me I live every day of my life with your rules I try to do everything right But sometimes I don't, emotions are strong And it's worse when I turn off the light Why can't I enjoy all that life has to give Without feeling dirty inside What gives you the right to sit and judge me Then force me to cower and hide I don't recall asking to be in this place No choices were offered to me And I didn't ask to be who I am No God asked what I wanted to be So why do you tell me I'm living life wrong I've tried to do all that you've asked It isn't my fault that I'm not squeaky clean Just the sad end result of my past I can change what I look like change how I act Change all the things that you see But I can't change what happens deep down in my soul When alone I will always be me Now I'm so sick and tired of being the person That makes all the rest feel so good When deep down inside I'm just falling apart I would end it right now if I could I am so sick and tired of living my life Just to please you and make you feel strong I simply can't be what you want me to be

270
What would I do (continued)

For I can't weed the right from the wrong The next time you see me I'll still look the same And I'll still bring a smile to your face For I know that inside you are not who you seem We are part of the same human race There's so much that I want so much here to do There are places that I've never been So many undone things are waiting out there Such wonders that I've never seen I have limited all that I did in my life Because that's what the rules held me to But I'm breaking those chains and I don't give a damn I'll do everything I want to do I'll be breaking their rules to take what I want And I won't give a shit what they say All the world will be mine to do as I please And I'll smile my way right through the day But what would I do if somebody told me That I had just that one day to live Simply lay in your arms on the side of a hill And take all the love you could give

271
Someone else’s tears Thunder rolls lightning strikes Rain is pouring down Birds are huddled in the trees As branches blow around Wind is howling past me As I struggle on my way Darkness at high noon Will my world end today I see the place where I must go It's dry and warm inside Another flash of blinding light Leaves me nowhere to hide A crack of thunder shakes the ground I feel it to my bones The river bank collapses And I'm standing here alone My house that building I called home The place where I was born Has stood since 1869 Right there and now it's gone The rain now eased the thunder stopped My tears now fall instead Now everything I ever loved Exists only in my head The next time you are feeling down Just try to understand What you just read are only words Put there by my own hand But somewhere in this wondrous world Maybe even somewhere near Somebody will lose everything In someone else’s tears

272
Writers Sometimes we write to share our thoughts Sometimes to vent our fears Sometimes to shout out how we feel Sometimes to dry our tears Sometimes we write to tell the world That what we do is wrong Sometimes the simple words we write Become a soft love song Sometimes we write to make some sense Of the troubles in our mind Sometimes we write just anything To see what we can find Sometimes we write to cry for help In words we cannot say Sometimes we write within our minds And pray they'll go away Sometimes we write in other tongues That no-one understands Sometimes we write to free ourselves As if we think we can A writer doesn't write for you Nor even for themselves A writer writes for those to come In the hope that it will help

273
Impossible Love I love the impossible dream I dream of impossible love I lust after something that I just can't have And I hear that tut tut from above I want to be held in her arms But her arms never want to hold me For she loves another and I must remain The answer that she cannot see I want that which I cannot have I cannot have that I so want I must walk away before my heart breaks For I'll look the worst fool if I don't How do I know this is love And not just some unfilled desire Love is an ember in search of a breeze The sight of her re lights the fire So I love the impossible dream And I listen to sighs from above Every cell of my being aches for her touch As I dream of impossible love

274
Here with me

It breaks my heart to see you go I weep so deep inside This emptiness that grows within Makes me want to run and hide You give such meaning to my life Whenever you are near That when you're not I feel alone And huddle in my fear I cannot shake you from my mind My heart won't let you go You're there in everything I do I wanted you to know If I could hold you in my arms Press your heart to mine You would know that I will love you Until the end of time You would know that I can't let you go My heart won't set you free For even though I say goodbye I still want you here with me

275
Why do I love you

Why do I love you I'm damned if I know But it's buried way down in my heart Something that grew from the moment we met It gets stronger when we are apart Not just a feeling it's far more than that A sensation that never shuts down A super strong magnet that draws me to you And joins us with barely a sound I just can't imagine my life without you For it seems like you've always been there You are part of my being each beat of my heart You will always be with me somewhere But why do I love you you wonderful thing I don't know but I'm glad that I do The most beautiful girl that my arms ever held I'm so lucky that you love me too

276
Moonlight The morning sun the evening moon The world turns slowly round Twilight comes the crickets sleep Replaced by moonlights sound Stars begin to show themselves A light show in the skies I turn towards your smiling face And beauty fills my eyes There is no place I'd rather be On such a summers night Than in your arms upon this hill Beneath the soft moonlight

Misunderstandings Misunderstandings are bitches of things They fuck up a day full of smiles They mess with your head and turn you away Leave you alone for a while The stress and the worry that this crap creates Dents friendships and caring and trust It makes you think twice before saying a word It rots like corrosion or rust Don't let misunderstandings ruin your day Don't jump to conclusions and hide Don't think that your friend is your friend no more For you know they are hurting inside Misunderstandings need never be If we trust in our family and friends For words that are spoken are often not heard In the spirit in which they are sent

277
Tears in my soul

Time doesn't heal every wound And it doesn't diminish the pain It doesn't make living without you a joy I still wish you were with me again Many years may have gone since you passed But it's still yesterday in my head Every night still brings darkness wet with my tears I remember the words that you said 'I will always be with you no matter what comes' 'For I love you and I always will' 'We are soul mates forever in time you and I' 'That's a love even time cannot kill' But time isn't kind as it drags me along Without you I don't want to be Every sunrise is dull every day of my life Is so empty now you're not with me Forgive me my love for I know what you want And I know you don't want me in tears But time is no healer and here without you Every moment is 50 long years I feel you reach out from wherever you are I see that sad look on your face I know that you don't want to see me this way But I can't find you here in this place I've done what you said and I've tried to move on Drag myself out of this hole Each morning more difficult waking from sleep Tasting your tears in my soul

278
Now that I’ve seen you Your eyes Like the windows to a mansion Set among swaying pines They show me a world rarely seen As I throw back the curtains The shadows take flight And I stand where few others have been In this world that is you I find beauty so rare Surrounded by doubt stress and fear Makes me want to reach out Pull you close to my heart And hold you forever so near For your eyes show me something You've never revealed That very few people can see And now that I've seen you For all that you are You will always be special to me

279
Grrrrr There's this bloke that I know Likes to beat up on girls Makes him a tough guy for sure He should suck on the sharp end Of some loaded gun And end up face down on the floor People like this bloke Deserve nothing less Than a hole in the ground six foot deep Then maybe the women Some merely girls Could get a few decent night’s sleep For there's not much I hate more Than blokes who hit girls If God granted me just one wish It would be that this bloke And all those like him Would be dropped down some endless abyss There's this one bloke I know.....

280
Angry God damn it I'm over this place Not one single thing has gone right I started this life in a world full of pain Every new god damned day is a fight Just what the fuck did I do In past lives or even right now To deserve all this crap that I cop every day It's come to feel normal somehow I don't know just what I did wrong To piss off somebody somehow Whatever it was and whoever you are I'd sure like to be facing you now Cos I don't give a crap any more What you think now means nothing to me You've pushed me so far that I'm over the edge And now you sad fuck I am free So get yourself out of my way Or I'll walk up and spit in your face I don't care anymore you can say what you like Cos god damn it I'm over this place

281
Out of my head

I can't get you out of my head I just can't stop thinking of you You're there when I close my eyes There when I wake And it seems that you're in my dreams too You've somehow found your way in To that place that I guarded so much You've invaded my heart Set up camp in deep inside Now I hunger each day for your touch There is nothing that this world can give And nothing that I would not do To be holding you close Feel your heartbeat with mine Then to spend my whole life loving you For I can't get you out of my head God help me your all I can see There's just no escaping The way that I feel I just need you to be here with me

282
Over it I'm over the bullshit the rubbish and crap That I hear from your mouth every day I can't handle this or I can't handle that It's all bullshit, well that's what you say You don't have a clue how to handle your life But you think that you just know it all The fact that I actually care about you Makes it hard not to move as you fall But then why would you care Since you don't give a shit About anything outside yourself As long as you get everything that you want Well, we'll all just sit here on the shelf I'm over the crap about everyone else When your just as bad as the rest It's easier to blame other people for shit Than to fess up that you’re not the best So go sink yourself into far deeper crap Than anything you will find here The road that you’re on well I've been down before And it ultimately ends up in tears But don't expect sympathy hands and a smile From those that you left in your wake The world doesn't favor the selfish my friend Sometimes you must give and not take

283
The Scars Oh the daggers Those sharp knives jabbed in from behind The words that are spoken when your not around A death warrant secretly signed To your face They congratulate you pats on the back Their words of encouragement come with a smile So convincing you almost lose track But you know When the chips fall each man for himself As you sit there alone and you're wondering why Nobody will come back to help So you think Be the better man here don't do what they do Don't tell all their secrets or let the cat out They'll just throw it all right back at you But the daggers Sometimes they cut deep right into the bone All over your back the bleeding may stop But the scars never leave you alone

284
Just want to hold you

I just want to hold you It drives me insane I must hold my feelings inside Every time that your near me My heart skips a beat It's so hard not to run off and hide I laugh and I joke and I say silly things To disguise what your doing to me What I really want is my arms around you But I fear I would not set you free This fire deep within Comes to life when you smile With a hunger so hard to control There's just something about you Some invisible force And it reaches right into my soul I wish I could find an answer somehow Some hope I could cling to because My life would have meaning With you by my side But it just isn't me that you love I just want to hold you With all of my heart You caught me and I can't break loose There's something incredible Something so strong That will bind me forever to you

285
WTF How is a man meant to act What the fuck is a bloke s'posed to do You give him these feelings and bring em to life It's a nightmare you put us all through We can't have the things we desire But you surround us with those that we don't Then just when we think that we've worked it all out There she is it's like one big sick joke You dragged me up out of the dust Then you plant me here your little tree You slam me with rules for what I can't do But not once did you ever ask me It's not fucking fair what you do And you get pissed off when I complain But if you think I'm happy with how my life is You'll be frigging well thinking again I don't like being your little pawn To be shifted around as you please This game that your playing may be just fun to you But it's more like a war zone to me My heart has been torn into shreds I've lost everthing that I love My world is in tatters emotions gone wild While you sit with a smile on your throne Just what is it that you want from me Why the hell can't I have what 'I' want If you have all this power to mess with my life Leave me happy for once you slack.......

286
She’s in love too When you see just how much She loves someone else It hits deep in places unseen Feels like somebody Just ripped out your heart Now there's nothing Where joy should have been You fight back the tears That lay just out of sight Behind eyes that can't look away You smile as your world Slowly crumbles and falls But there isn't a thing you can say You can't choose who you love Any more than you could Turn the tides with a wave of your hand Sometimes Cupid's arrow Is aimed at your heart For reasons you can't understand There's nothing so lonely As a heart filled with love For someone who doesn't love you Unless it's that moment When you first realise That girl you love, she's in love too

287
Can’t fight it I can't fight this thing any more Or change what my heart wants to do It's driving me crazy this feeling inside Ever since the first day I met you At first I thought it was just lust Dirty thoughts that grew inside my head Holding you naked so close to me You and me so alone in my bed But desire doesn't make my heart ache And lust doesn't bring me to tears These things I could fix with a trip down the road It's just different whenever you're near There's something about how you move A look that I catch now and then The softest of sighs when I give you a hug Makes me want to be with you again I just don't know what I should do For I know that these feelings are wrong I can't get you out of my head any more You're just there like the words of a song I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be Than held in your caring embrace And there's nothing that I'd rather see when I wake Than that smile on your beautiful face Now I simply can't fight how I feel any more And I just don't know what else to do So I'm baring my soul as I offer my heart Oh my god I'm so in love with you

288
Me I am but a spec in the universe One ripple somewhere way out in space A sneeze of creation a hiccup in time Just one of a whole human race I am but a blip on the radar of life There for an instant and gone My life in this place and all that I am Will be ended before it's begun There just isn't time to figure it out Before you stand facing the end You suddenly wish that you'd said goodbye To family lovers and friends When I close my eyes for that final time This world will not miss me for long Though I've met many people and felt truly loved The majority won't know when I'm gone For I am but a stitch in the fabric of time One member of this human race A single small pin prick of light in a show That is lost in the vastness of space So don't mourn for me when I'm finally gone For I know I leave many behind Be happy for me and smile for I know I was unique throughout all space and time I am but a spec in this great universe A small tear in the fabric of space But wherever I end up I'll make sure they know I was part of this great human race

289
Had a gut full I'm damned if I know not sure that I care About anything you have to say Your mouth spews out rubbish none of it true And it keeps coming day after day If you were to tell me the truth just one time I'd find it so hard to believe Be wondering what little moves you have planned And just what you've got up that sleeve You look so damned cute and you give me that smile Then you spoil it with absolute bull Like the boy who cried wolf you did it too much Now my sweet I have had a gut full So pack your belongings cos you're out the door And I don't want to hear one more word If you want to find someone who'll listen to you They'll be down with the rest of the turds So pick up your act move it on down the road Sell your show to some other dumb clown As you leave slam the door kick the dog a few times Then get the fuck out of my town

290
If I told you
If I told you I love you Would you stand there in stunned disbelief Or would you try hard to find something to say Before stealing away like a thief If I told you I want you Would you tell me that you want me too Or would you hold me so tight that my heart beat with yours While you look for a door to run through If I told you I need you Would you come to me when I'm alone Or would you smile when my name flashes up on the screen And then simply not answer the phone If I told you how much I care Would you tell me that you feel the same Or would you give me that smile while your holding my hand That say's your just playing the game If I told you I love you Would you kiss me and pull me so near Would you whisper that you are in love with me too Because that's all I'm longing to hear

291
What say you What say you you horny old bitch Would you like a short romp in the hay Or an epic seduction between you and me That will last til the end of the day I could start at your feet and work my way up Every toe being gently caressed Til I find myself there at the nape of your neck And you'll be completely undressed You can start here and work your way down Every button and zipper undone You slip off my socks one by one with your teeth Til we both lay there naked as one A can of whipped cream maybe two maybe three With strawberries strategically placed We would have such a time all alone you and I And I have chocolate here just in case So what say you you horny old bitch Will it be a short romp in the hay Or shall we hang out the do not disturb sign again And make our own heaven today

292
Christmas past I remember when Christmas meant having a ball Family and friends round the tree Presents to unwrap pudding to eat Everything just where it ought to be I remember the smile on my grandmothers face As she watched us pass presents around My grandfathers cranky old voice as he yelled Don't leave all that stuff on the ground I remember my mother sipping her tea And my father up ending a beer My aunties and uncles all gathered around So filled with that old Christmas cheer I remember the fireplace the chestnuts and stuff Marshmallows and spuds in the coal The big Christmas crackers we all got to pull My mum whispering 'never get old' I remember those days and the good times we had The spirit of Christmas was there And it just didn't matter what presents you got It was family and everyone shared I wish I could go back in time like old Scrooge And re-live all those good times we had But I can't and they're gone and now I am here And somehow that feels kind of sad

293
Well I guess Well I guess that it's all over now The cat's been let out of the bag The question's been asked and the answer received Always knew it but still makes me sad I hoped for a dream to come true So stupidly here in my mind For this girl to love me and feel the same way She'd have to be dumb blonde and blind How could I have been such a fool To think I stood even a chance I want to be larger than life in her eyes But I don't even warrant a glance So I guess that it's all over now But I'm happy that we'll remain friends To lose her entirely would just break my heart It's our friendship that counts in the end

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