This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
This paper examines cohering illusions in a Discordian frame (or Lattice). It’s not necessary to understand Discordianism (nor do I suggest ‘understanding’ Discordianism as a likely or plausible goal for anyone) in order to reap the benefits of this paper (no benefits guaranteed). However, a few concepts are prerequisite. Unlike most Introductions, this introduction will prove useful to those who aren’t familiar with Discordianism. This may be typical in Discordian works. I’ve drawn more value from the introduction to the fifth edition of the Principia Discordia than I have from entire canons of scripture in other religions. Yours in Discord and Accord, Ignatius Evelyn Ingoldsby, p.t.t., KSC, Magister of Magisterium, Founder of the EastNorth Raleigh Hello Kitten Kabal P.S. I have included a glossary at the end. Mostly to avoid trying your patience with excessive footnotes of things I thought were funny.
1.1 Nature of Illusion
In Discordianism, everything can be an illusion. Possibly everything is an illusion. This is a matter between you and your Pineal Gland (for the purposes of this paper, please consider the Pineal Gland to be the part of your brain which would happily be a Knight Who Says ‘Ni’ but balk at an unhealthy interest in shrubbery). Unlike most Lattices, illusory status does not render something without meaning. Lunch time may be doubly an illusion, but I am still hungry. Like most Lattices, illusory status renders something A Joke. Since everything is an illusion, Everything Is A Joke. Again unlike other Lattices, Jokes are important. Possibly the most important things ever. If you feel a discomfiting buzz when you entertain that bit of cognitive dissonance, your Pineal Gland is trying to pipe up. Say ‘Ni!’ You’ll feel better.
1.2 Nature of Illusors
Many other Lattices imply that an illusion must have a mind experiencing it in order to exist. A mirage isn’t a mirage unless something with eyes and some degree of intelligence is around to perceive an oxygen heat mirror as pristine glass water. Discordianism has as much or as little to say on this subject as one you can possibly imagine. I’ve never seen another Discordian talk about it but I’ve also never seen another Discordian defecate and I am nearly certain I’m not the only Discordian who defecates. Thoughts? Opinions? Recipes for vegan steak? I am of the opinion that illusions do not necessarily require illusors … but they can create illusors. And the illusions can take their dear sweet time about creating illusors and maybe just never pay that bill at all. For instance, concept of Self is an illusion which creates its own illusors. You, as a concept (and illusor), did not exist until the illusion of you spawned from other illusors. This is very convenient because it proves half of my assumptions in this paper with aplomb and very subtle Handwavium. Anyone who questions it will be treated however their religion (or irreligion) generally treats heretics (e.g. if you’re a Discordian I will buy you a drink, if you’re an American
2. in the meta-Lattice of Western economics. Apple pie may perhaps be more American than not.3 End of Introduction Congratulations. As it so . While the illusion of motherhood is not distinctly American.1 What Is A Cohering Illusion? After that introduction. Robin.’ If you’ve left the U. you may mark that achievement unlocked. (or. the Joker. did.S. Some illusions exist in symbiosis with other illusions. If this is the first introduction you’ve ever read. if you’re an atheist I will treat you like a clueless loudmouth who will one day learn better). I’m tempted to leave the rest blank. The two-faced god Janus? Batman. Pluralities of Illusions 2. you know there are mothers outside U. I suspect motherhood is alive and well in many places and that motherhood existed before the U. nationalistic pride is a mystery to me (leave it a mystery. Patriotism meta-Lattice it and apple pie are intrinsically tied.S. I enjoy surprise solutions to mysteries). you have reached the end of the introduction. Batgirl. Likewise. never been in it). You may draw your own inferences.S. Nothing else to see here. and Catwoman? The trinity perceived by some Christians? That episode of The Next Generation where Data played the semi-malicious Sun god and Picard played the trickster companion moon good? This next reference describes the situation more adequately than any other example I know of: ‘as American as motherhood and apple pie. but what role it has in U.S. I struggle to find an illustration to describe the relationship between these illusions. Otherwise. 1. better yet.Christian I will call you an atheist and rail against you on Fox News for ruining Christmas. move along. ‘free market’ and capitalism are intrinsically tied.S. An economist from that meta-Lattice may tell you ‘free market’ is capitalism and vice versa. inside the U.
If you make a . you may not care which goal Discordians would find more worthy. Of course. The non-wealthy illusors thought they were Selves but what kind of Self can be logged like a forest? I won’t delve deeply into the illusion of Human Resources.S. Count that as another feature. supplies are limited. you may also enjoy the space-time illusion when you are in the wrong place and/or time since ‘wrong’ is situational at best and some illusions enjoy being contrary. In general relativity in our universe. Neither we nor the Subgenii are especially into proselytizing. She didn’t destroy the Olympian party. but you can also create illusions yourself and this can be funner. blah blah blah. You’d mostly feed into the illusion Everybody Wants To Be An American.’ but it would be difficult to destroy the illusion of U. work in progress though it may be. Patriotism unpopular. and alien abduction. Of course. Illusors meant to think of themselves as individualistic humans should—according to this concept—also consider themselves tantamount to something which can be harvested or mined. Patriotism by making apple pie unpopular.happens. Eris didn’t toss the apple with the intention of destroying Troy. You might also create a new illusion: Soviets want to steal motherhood and apple pie. If that’s the position you’re in. But let’s say for a moment that you tried: advertisements (or more likely subvertisements) of Soviet Mothers treating their children well and also feeding them apple pie. conspiracy theories. The implementation of this illusion creates abundant happiness for wealthy illusors and unhappiness as abundantly for the non-wealthy illusors.S. I’m fond of this potential-illusion. If something here touched a chord with you. coheres the meta-Selves illusion with the illusion of resources. this is absurd (absurdity can be a virtue if one is self-aware) but I’m not interested in having a debate on the subject. Subgenius may be your thing. For instance. They are functions of each other. Discordianism would generally find the creation of a new illusion (‘Soviets want to steal motherhood and apple pie’) every bit as valuable and valid (and probably more valuable and valid) than the destruction of another illusion. she subverted it. in contrast. If you like your enlightenment with more orgies. I suggest looking into Discordianism. If only all cohering illusions were so pleasant and accommodating. Even if you could.2 What Can I Do With Them It’s tempting to say ‘anything you want. 2. She tossed it to see what would happen. Which brings up a good point for my non-Discordian audience. one cannot exist without the other. it would be easier to destroy it some other way because apple pie is not an integral part of the illusion U. Another example of a cohering illusion is that of time and space. imagine you work in an office building where a wing is separated from the rest with an unlocked metal door which can be propped open using the little foot screwed onto the door. The concept of Human Resources. This would probably backfire. And also to get back at the gods who snubbed her. or U. It’s duller than the Kalam Cosmological Model argument and that would cure anyone’s insomnia. Patriotism. Operators are standing by. Subverting illusions is fun and profitable. If you’re not a Discordian. They might be the same thing.S. You wouldn’t make mothers. It’s rather freeing to walk away from Lattices which value absolutes and concrete goals over enlightenment. I suggest looking into Black Iron Prison. apple pie. it may turn out with Quantum Physics that both are even more meaningless than they appear to be (yay!) but time and space are very enjoyable illusions when you are neither in the ‘wrong’ place nor the ‘wrong’ time.
A mythology will build up over the purpose behind each sign (“The Accts.Acknowledgement that theists have yet to provide any interesting evidence for their claims. it’s because the fun doesn’t happen without the signs being paired. Puppies are cute and adorable. I’ll leave you to think of other possibilities. Investigations will occur! As you may imagine. there’s that.” “The Marketing department made the ‘door opened’ sign because they want to hear the gossip from Engineering.An illusion capable of carrying other illusions. you never change your opinions about anything. a mixed bag. Christmas. and people who are too busy having orgies or baking cakes because who needs a reason to have orgies or bake cakes.Slang term for genitals of some animals on Earth. Easter. 4.A Discordian concept illustrating the futility of perceiving a universe through dogmatic world views. conclusions should restate what you’ve already said in the paper. There are many secret atheists and I can’t say much about them. • Illusor .”). Those on the wing side may say the sign on their side is correct. 3. The Principia Discordia has nothing particular to say about dicks unless The Hotdog is taken as a phallic reference. So. In other news. the bun may symbolize condoms. Hopefully funny. I would name it Mylar and write stories about its adventures in a far off world fighting the morally ambiguous Confederacy of Whazzit. Otherwise. • Handwavium . Note: If you’re wondering how the sign trick qualifies as a cohering illusion.sign on the wing side which instructs everyone to keep the door closed and another sign on the common side in a different font which says to keep the door open. If taken phallically.” “Safety made the ‘door closed’ sign to delay violent intruders entering that part of the building. is a theistic Lattice which says the god Jehovah has done some very bad things but he will forgive us anyway if we something something something vague Jesus. If I had a puppy. • Lattice . dicks above and beyond the call of duty. Without them. The most popular in the U. of course. Unless. That’s not recommended. imagine what might happen! The folks nearest the door on either side will be at odds over which sign to follow. • Dicks . Lattices are fun at parties and when intoxicants are involved.A concise (ha!) explanation of terms which may be unfamiliar (ha ha ha) to your audience. Other Lattices are patched into your Lattice as time progresses. Receivable department made the ‘door closed’ sign to discourage unproductive socialization and sight-seeing.A type of magic better referenced than explained. • Christianity . dicks by not being dicks even though they maybe ought to sometimes (the Tohru Hondas of unbelief).S. I have no feelings whatsoever on the validity of such a campaign. Usually a waste of time. they are the long way about doing the wrong thing.” “Safety made the ‘door opened’ sign because closing the door causes a ten second delay in escaping the building. . They wanted to put bulkhead doors in every part of the building but IT overruled them because it’s difficult getting the boxes in and out of the doors. Never let it be said that Discordians do all the thinking for you.There are many versions. Public atheists could be divided into five groups: dicks with good reason. Lines will be drawn. the world would be a far darker place. The religion and culture you were born into form a Lattice. dicks about people being dicks. • Glossary . Practically speaking. Conclusion According to someone somewhere who most people apparently believe. Glossary • Atheism .
a Self is an individual illusor containing the illusion of individuality.An immature canine (quadrupedal terrestrial mammal) with disproportionately large eyes.e. • Why . you might say ‘the meta-Selves composed of Rock God players. The literal veracity of a mythology is irrelevant to its meaning and many true things may also be myths. See Principia Discordia on ‘truth. It is primarily kept by humans to infuse rugs with urea and elicit the human evolved response of cutegasm.A question humans are curiously selective about asking (Example: why did you waste time writing this? but rarely why do you commute if it makes you miserable?) . the mythology and culture create each other).’ • Mythology .’ • Puppy .A set of stories intrinsically tied to a culture. but if you want to talk about a large group of Selves with a particular similarity. the combination of many other things. For instance. Mythologies often cohere with that cultural identity (i.• Meta .For my purposes.