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With every passing day I could feel the presence of God within him which became brighter and clearer wi th time. But I never really had a strong inspiration to tell his story to the wo rld. Though I always felt that it is the only thing that we can give to the worl d. By telling them the tale of a living God. The journey of an extraordinarily o rdinary human being into Godhood. And the journey of that extraordinarily ordina ry causeless love, love that came within us human being only to make us happy. Only to make us joyful and fulfilled. And to take human civilization into the n ext level or into the greater level of perfection and manifestation. I have known Bhagavan from my childhood days as our family friend, as the uncle in our neighborhood. The only thing tha t I could remember which I can associate with him was a very positive an strong energy. I remember in my childhood days his presence would mean some meaningful discussion or some very joyful moment of laughter among his friends. He used to visit our house often as we did in his house. I had always seen people around him but I didn't have the faintest idea that he was going through very hard spiritual aus terity in those times away from the notice of everybody. Everybody seemed to be happy and attracted towards him. My first chance to come close to him and to be connected to him was when he chose me to act in one of his plays as a prince. Th e name of the drama was Kirtigarh. One day he came and told me I was selected fo r a role of a prince in one of his plays. To be honest I didn't realize a new wo rld was opening up to me. I used to act in my school and in various functions in my locality but with him I got the chance to understand what acting really mean s. How true human emotions are for acting and how much a man has to associate hi mself with the role he has to play. Just within 3 or 4 rehearsals I almost felt myself to be a prince. He encouraged me to feel myself as a prince always. I use d to go to the rehearsal and act and do my job and come back. until one day, he got hold of me and said " I have thought about your role. I want to give it a ne w shape. You have to help me to do this.:" I was just a kid of 10 or 12 years at that time. but today when I sit to write about him I can remember how much he b rought out of me. how much I was ready to give. I remember a day in the rehearsa l when he asked me to cry and I really did. He was the director of the play and playing the lead negative role of the king in that play. he was playing the role of my father. but he had a negative role and I had to kill him in the last scen e. I saw that with every character in that play he used to work so hard. When th e rehearsal was on, he used to act with every single person showing all the tech nical aspects and associating every scene with the audience. The other things th at I noticed during those days were his exceptional sense of punctuality. and ho nesty. The rehearsal used to start at 5 in the evening. The door of the clubhous e used to open at quarter to 5 and it would remain open till 5:05. Everyone was supposed to enter into the clubhouse within this time. If anyone was late, he ha d to wait outside and watch the proceeding from outside looking in through the w indow no matter who he or she may be. everybody seemed to know their job very we ll starting from the lead role actors to the one who would make tea for everyone . Everything seemed well organized and well disiciplined. One had to buy tickets to see the play which was staged in the biggest hall in the locality. I remembe r very clearly Bhagavan's wife, Guruma, had to buy a ticket to watch the play. T here was no partiality for anybody in particular. The later years were passed in either st udying or playing. I didn't have too much Bhagavan in these years but he did som etimes stop by the field when we were playing cricket. From the street he used t o speak aloud his words of encouragement.In these days I can remember a time whe
n he had helped a poor family for their daughter's marriage. The whole colony wa s organized for the only cause of the poor family and that marriage was one of t he biggest marriages in our locality in times to follow. When I was nearing my h igh school I found my father too much connected to Bhagavan for reasons unknown to me. My father was a religious and spiritual person who was the disciple of th e great Swamii Krishnanandaji who was the disciple of Ma Sarada Devi. The only t hing that I remember in my childhood days was his very strong attraction toward spirituality, spiritual practices, and spiritual books apart from his office wor k. I never found my father gossiping with any other men, or to go to any club, o r to watch any sports or to be too much excited about anything in the household apart form discussions about Thakur Ramakrishna, devotional songs, or making me sit and study for the whole day. It was a surprised in the beginning when I foun d my father so keen of Bhagavan. In those times, my mother was busy attending on e of her sisters who had breast cancer in a different place. I and my father use d to be in the house. I found my father bring Bhagavan into our house and engage d in some kind of talk in which I was not at all interested to know at that time . The height of my surprise climbed the day when I saw my father preparing tea f or Bhagavan. I doubt if I had seen him enter into the kitchen ever in my life as ide from taking water or eating food. But he was preparing tea for Bhagavan. Tho ugh it surprised me, I was not curious enough to know about this change in him. My father used to celebrate the birth anniversary of his master Swami Kirishnand aji in a big way every year. That day was a day of devotional songs, recitation of the Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna, or the books of Swami Krishnandaji, and of man y people coming to our house to take prashad in the afternoon till late evening. I had never seen my father too anxious about anything since childhood. The year I appeared for my high school, in 1988, I saw my father crying heavily on the d ay of Swami Krishnanandaji's birthday. That day I found that Bhagavan was with h im and I could notice from the very far end that Bhagavan was saying something t o him which made him cry. I don't remember if I was happy or sad or curious to k now the reason of his crying. But I could definitely find a mark of Bhagavan into my life as well as my parent 's life. Within some time I found my mother also very much involved with Bhagava n. Nothing could create any curiosity in me until I saw Thakuma, a neighborhood grandmother who fainted one day in her house for reasons unknown even to the do ctors. It was the day time and I was in my house when I heard shouts from the ne ighbor that she fainted. When I entered into the scene I found Thakuma lying on the ground and everybody doing their best to bring her back to sense. Sunil Kaku , the uncle and the son of Thakuma ran for the doctor. Thakuma laid completely s enseless. I remember my mother telling someone to call Bhagavan. I don't know wh y I was witnessing the scene as if I was completely hypnotized. I didn't know wh at to do but to see how things were going on. Within minutes Bhagavan entered in to the house and touched the head and chest of Thakuma and said "mother, mother, calm down." I remember the scene and the words so clearly. Thakuma opened her e yes and looked at Bhagvan as if she was seeing God. Her eyes were wide open with a smile of gratitude and love. She could not get up but I thought she wanted to embrace Bhagavan. Bhagavan helped her to get up and offered her a glass of wate r and then went out. Thakuma was fine. Everybody started to laugh and joke how t hey felt Thakuma was dead. But I could see that I was developing a sense of grea t respect for this man whom I addressed as Kaku (Uncle) who in my later years ha d become my life. My parents were getting deeply involved with Bhagavan. I could see my mother spe nding a greater part of the day in the house of Bhagavan. There were alot of cer emonies that used to happen. And my parents along with many others used to take a lead role. in these. I was either busy with my studies or playing. My father w as a spiritual man altogether but I think I was sometimes surprised to see my mo ther, her inner transformation and her muted reactions to the world and worldly affairs lately. I didn't realize that this change of hers actually made my life change forever. I don't know which would be the moment I could consider to be th e moment of my coming to God. In one way, if I look, I see that I was with Him
since I was born and in another way I have to admit that my mother's transformat ion had brought about an unconscious curiosity in me about Bhagavan and the acti vities going around. I loved my mother more than anything but now I somehow star ted to appreciate her. Somewhere inside me I could find a deep satisfaction seei ng my mother hand in hand with my father in spiritual path. This was exactly th e question about my mother that I had asked that brought about a real serious c hange in me. But before elaborating that instance I would like to describe some other moments with Bhagavan which I view today to be very significant in my spir itual upbringing and my devotion towards him. I remember I was studying in class 11 at that time. There was a festival of the birth anniversary of Sarada Devi i n Bhagavan's house which was being celebrated for 7 days. Swami Vishakananda, a monk disciple of Swami Pavitranandaji, came from somewhere in Bengal to attend t hat festival. I remember to have completely gotten involved in that festival for no reason. None of my friends were there and occasionally they would laugh at m e becoming junior Thakur Ramakrisha. The senior Thakur Ramakrishna was indeed Bh agavan in their eyes.But that didn't matter to me at all. The day when Vishakana ndaji was supposed to arrive, the train was scheduled at 4 o'clock in the mornin g. It was wintertime and I had no reason to sacrifice my sleep for going to the station and welcoming some old monk whom I didn't even know. But I did. I reache d Bhagavan's house at 3:30 in the morning. Bhagavan and Majumder Uncle were leav ing for the station that time I arrived in his house. Both of them were surprise d to see me and I was also not an exception. But I don't know why I wanted to go with them. Bhagavan didn't take me to the station because he felt that I would catch cold. So I came back to my house. On that afternoon I was putting a tent i n the roof of Bhagavan. I heard Bhagavan saying to somebody that he has spoken s omething to somebody from the depth of his heart and while doing so he was feeli ng such a bliss. While working on the tent on the roof I felt as if I knew every thing that Bhagavan said to that man and that I understood what he said. This wa s a surprise to me. That evening when I went to Bhagavan's house, the house was full of people. There was no place to sit. I managed a corner of the living room and sat there. That day I felt as if I was sinking inside me. It was such a bea utiful feeling. It lasted for some time. The function ended and everybody starte d to move around. I heard Swami Vishakanadana say to Bhagavan that this realizat ion of his (Bhagavan's) would be manifested within 5 years in the mass. The othe r thing that I remember of that day is Bhagvan was saying to one of our neighbor hood aunts that we have to realize it. the festival lasted for 7 days and I was completely involved in that but i don't remember anything in particular except t he last day when Vishakanandaji was going back. I went to the station to see off Swami Vishakandanji. Bhagavan was very happy to see me.
Sometime later, oneday my mother wanted me to go to Bhagavan's house and give hi m a pan (a leaf which is chewed with tobacco in India.) I remember that day to b e Sunday because the mega tele-serial Mahabharat was telecasted. She wanted me t o go to Bhagavan's house to give the pan exactly when the serial was going on. I was very reluctant to go there but had to give up because of her persistence. W hen I went to Bhagavan's house there was no sign of life in his house. Everythin g was so still. I sensed that there was nobody in the house. I entered the gate to look for Bhagavan and found Pradipda (Sri Pradip Kumar Roy), sitting outside his house on the ground. I asked him normally "Where is Uncle?(Bhagavan)?" Pradi pda shushed me and in a very low voice said, "he is in Samadhi". I heard the wor d Samhadi for the first in my life from him. But at that time I was more interes ted to hand over the pan and go rather than exploring over the details of what Samadhi is. But Pradipda got hold on me and said to sit down and instructed me t o hand over the pan to Bhagavan myself. I wanted to revolt because I didn't want to miss Mahabharat. But Prahipda again said "shhhh.." I sat there helplessly pr aying that he would come out soon and imagining what might be going on in Mahab harat at that moment. Slowly, slowly time passed and I could feel that the whole serial was finished. When the serial was about to end, Bhagavan came out of his
house and saw me sitting on the ground. I have never seen a man so happy before to see someone waiting for him. He almost jumped at me and embraced me tightly and said to Pradipda. 'Pradhip, write down, this boy will change. he cannot be p resent at this moment. I had a very deep Samadhi and nobody is supposed to enter into the house." With a great attraction towardd Him I returned home that day. There are infact three more incidences after which I had been completely taken o ver by the grace, love and personality of Bhagavan. I didn't realize till then t hat I was actually dealing with the living God in those initial stages. He alway s had such a down to earth and simple approach that it is impossible for anyone to even imagine that He is carrying such a huge energy within Him, that energy w hom we call Mother or Ma. That He had already attained that state of humanity wh en He remains no human but God. I think I was fortunate enough to witness all th ese transformations within Him, no matter I stayed closed to Him or far. All tho se unimaginable spiritual states and revelations. I want to write down each of t hem and want to speak aloud, " Yes, I have seen the living God." But before I g o into those details, I would like to finish those three incidences and start fr om the point where He was my neighborhood uncle, then my Master and finally my G od. The place where I was born and brought up is named Maligaon. It is situated at the outskirts of Guwahati, the biggest and main town of the entire north eas t India. Maligaon was a Railway colony where people from all over the country li ved and worked together in the N.F.Railway head quarters. All kind of felicities were provided by the Railways here including Schools, colleges, hospitals, mark ets, clubs, playing ground, institutes, libraries and the like. This place was d ivided into colonies and since everybody came from different parts of the countr y, they were very friendly to each other and often looked like a single family . Such was the area where we lived. The name of our colony was Balaka. I along wi th some of my spiritual brothers including Bhagavan lived in Balaka. It was a ve ry cultured and very well educated areas among the entire region. Our house was just a stone throw distance away from that of Bhagavan's. In between my house an d that of Bhagavan's, there was just another house. We were like one family whic h was extended into different families. The person who lived between my house an d Bhagavan's house was detected Cancer and that too in final stages. So, they de cided to arrange the marriage of their only son soon so that this uncle could se e the face of his daughter in law. My mother was at her best when she had such e ngagements on hand. She used to get busy instantly. I liked it because that woul d give me ample opportunity to play cricket and spend time with my friends rathe r than having her sit near me knitting sweaters and watching me study and always reminding me politely of the consequences if desired expectations are not met. That would mean a short term sanction imposed unto me in various aspects of my l ife including my basic privileges. Anyway, whenever she was busy in such importa nt assignments, my food arrangement used to get temporarily shifted to Bhagavan' s house. Guruma, the wife of Bhagavan used to cook for me then. So, oneday, I we nt to Bhagavan's house in the morning to have breakfast. That day, Bhagavan was present and was seated in the outer verandah of his house.I sat there in a chair with Him waiting for Guruma to bring the breakfast. While I was sitting there w ith Him, I just got a proper opportunity for a query that was in my mind for som etime. I asked Him, " Kaku, what do you do here? I see my mother completely chan ged...!!" He said with firmness, " We search for truth." I asked, " Is there any truth?" He said, "Yes, truth is God. Truth means mind and speech are the same. You say w hat you do and do what you say. If you do that, you don't need to search God, Go d will come to you."
I said, " I won't realize God ever because I can't speak the truth. If I speak t he truth to my mother that I am going to play, she won't let me do that." I don't remember if the conversation had stretched further, but I definitely re member that I was inspired to speak the truth. I started to speak the truth. I u sed to tell my mother that I am going to the cricket field and not to study with some friends. On other aspects of the day also I started practicing to maintain truth. While I was doing this practice quietly, sometimes I had success and som etimes I failed. After some days in one evening, I was feeling very sad for some unknown reason. My mind was so sad that I couldn't study. I came out of the hou se in the dark and started to roam in the outer verandah of our house. While I w as roaming, I saw Bhagavan seated in His outer Verandah with someone. It was dar k but there was a faint light glowing which enabled me to recognize it was indee d Bhagavan. The whole scenario was so calm and peaceful. He was seated in a chai r with His legs folded and someone was seated in the ground. I felt a great attr action towards that scene. I slowly walked into His house. There was that usual calmness all around in His house. I entered His gate and the the verandah. He wa s as if shocked to see me. He exclaimed loudly, " Why are you here? You told me that day that you can't speak the truth." I said, " I did tell you that but I st arted to practice speaking the truth in my house." He was so happy to hear that. He spoke out loudly with a great pleasure and enthusiasm, " Yes, thats it. Prac tice. I don't say you can do it oneday, but you should practice." He was so happ y as if I had stood first in my board exams. He was very near to hug me. I have frankly never seen anybody even my father to be so happy with me for issues othe r than studies. I felt as if I had done something very grand and wanted to do th at more and more. My sadness disappeared and I was filled with a great enthusias m, joy and energy. I came back into my house feeling very happy and poured my w hole heart into studies again. The next instance arrived when the marriage was over and this uncle suffer ing from cancer was in his last days. Oneday in the afternoon, my mother came ru nning into the house and told me to arrange an ambulance for this uncle to take him to the hospital. I ran with my bicycle and brought the ambulance from the Ma ligaon Central Hospital. That uncle was taken into the ambulance and Bhagavan, t he son and daughter-in-law of that uncle and myself accompanied him to the hospi tal. I ran into the emergency and arranged everything so that his treatment coul d be started as soon as possible. The doctors examined him and saw that he was i n his last few days and advised us to take him to his house within his family ra ther than to keep him in the hospital. Bhagavan sat in a chair at a distance and watched the whole proceedings. We brought that uncle back home and there was we eping in the back ground. Bhagavan came to me and said, " Come to my house, lets have tea together." I went with Him to His house. Guruma was making tea while w e sat at His outer room and chatted. I was telling Him how difficult it would be if he dies in the night. That day Bhagavan said something which I will never fo rget. Cutting my words in the middle, He said, " No. He will not die here. He will die in the hospital and I will not be here at that time." It was a sudden utterance and I was completely taken aback. For a momen t, I started to explore what might be the relation between the death of that unc le and His presence. He continued, " I am a Self Realized soul. Death cannot enter the place I reside . I will be in the office and he will be very sick and people will take him to t he hospital and he will die there." I was looking at Him totally black and having nothing to say. I had st arted to respect and love Him but I was honestly not ready for such a strong utt
erance. For a moment didn't let me think wanted to tell this to disrespect Him. I get hurt anyway.
I thought it was completely rubbish but something inside me so. I was kind of half believed Him. I came to my house and to my mother but couldn't. I felt if I do so, I will start actually liked Him very much and didn't want my feelings to
Oneday, during the month of September, we have a huge festival in the Kamakh ya Temple which was just a few kilometers away from our house. I used to visit t hat festival with my friends every year because a lot of sadhus used to come fro m various parts of the country who carried poisonous snakes or had strange appea rances or had big hairs or smoked marijuana etc. It was a thing to watch them. W e went to see that festival in the kamakhya temple one afternoon. When we came b ack, we found a lot of people gather near the house of that uncle. We knew insta ntly either he died or was going to die. We ran towards his house and found that he was already dead. Immediately I went to my mother. I asked her, " Where did he die?" " In the hospital" she replied. Where was Kaku(Bhagavan) then?" " In Hi s office. Oh..you don;t know how much we came into trouble because he wasn't the re......." I didn't want to hear anything more. I was surprised in one hand and in the other very very happy for Kaku(Bhagavan) was so true. I saluted Him in my heart and thought about Him and those clear but simple words of His for the who le evening and night while we carried the dead body to the funeral ground and se t him into fire. The last instance was a few days after the death of that man. Oneday, He ca me into my house and said," We are going to celebrate the birth anniversary of L ord Buddha. You will give a speech in English on that day." Before I could say a word, He went out of the house. My mother thought that I would never ever attem pt that. But, I did. I went to Guwahati and bought a book on Indian History and started reading the life of Buddha. She was amazed to see her son reading histor y because in our school it was kind of a ritual not to study history ever and it was also a greater ritual to appear as if we knew everything about history and that its not at all a subject to be considered intelligent. I was also one of th em who thought so but today I started to read history and the life of Buddha. On the day of the Buddha Purnima, I gave a speech on Lord Buddha. Bhagavan spoke j ust after me and His daughter Debjani. He was speaking about Lord Buddha. I have never heard a lecture of such clarity and love before. The way He presented Lor d Buddha to us, I started to think is it possible for a man to be like Buddha. A fter all Buddha was a human being, how could He achieve such greatness. I was ve ry very impressed with the words Bhagavan spoke that day. The function was over. Everybody was taking tea in the outer room of His when I went to Him and said, " Kaku, would you tell us these stories of Buddha if I bring my friends to you?" He was very happy and I could see His eyes lit bright. He said, " Come, I will tell you about Swami Vivekananda." This was the start of my spiritual life.....
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