JUST WONDERING

If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter? Is it OK to use the a.m. radio after noon? What do you call a male ladybug? What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle before lethal injections? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes? Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited? If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypads of drive-up ATM's? Why is that when you transport something by car it's called shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? If a synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all drown? Can atheists get insurance for acts of God? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? Does fuzzy logic tickle? If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery? I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions. I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem. If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly, is a fog horn made out of? Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead? Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is? Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

Does the reverse side also have a reverse side? When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!! Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"? Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dish washing liquid contains real lemons? Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious? If man evolved from apes, why do we still have apes? I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the selfhelp section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose. If a mute kid swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? And whose cruel idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp?" Is there another word for synonym? Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice?" What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? Would a wingless fly be called a walk? Is a shelless turtle homeless or just naked? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Is it true that cannibals won't eat clowns because they taste funny? When you open a bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to remove the one on top? How is it possible to have a civil war? If God dropped acid, would he see people? Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids instead of asteroids?

Compiled by Magic Wand