GEORGE OSBORNE TO BE HAUNTED BY 3 CLICHES

GEORGE OSBORNE is to be haunted by 3 leftist cliches this Christmas.
The Cabinet Office has confirmed that Osborne shall be visited by the first cliché when clock strikes 1 AM on the 25th. The role of the first cliche, the cliché of leftism past, is expected to be filled by Curtis Marrow of the 'Up Yers Federation' famous for smearing dogshit on Michael Buerks doorknob in the 80s. Marrow commented that he welcomed “the opportunity for the werking clarse to tell rich scum like Osborne where to stick it”. He will tour Osborne around a council estate in the North circa 1987 , whilst bombarding him with... cont. P2

GARETH MALONE “WILL BECOME REGIMENTAL MASCOT”

'Military wives' presenter to replace pony regiment has got bored of.
The Presenter of that program about how some people who can sing are married to some people who do a dangerous job that requires them to be away from home a lot is to become a regimental mascot. Malone, 12, is to replace Basilnips the Pony as mascot to the Fortrahforth and Engorgement 48th Light artillery dragoons gap year division. It is agreed that the pony 'is just a bit boring' and that needs to be replaced by something that the men can bully when not kicking each other in the balls.

AUGUST RIOTERS TO SCREEN HYSTERICAL DRAMA-DOCUMENTARY ABOUT CHANNEL 4

Young people who took part in the London Riots this August have announced that they will screen a hysterical and factually inaccurate drama-documentary about Channel 4. It will feature urbandwelling poor families being forced to go without stuffed olives and fight off waves of Hollyoaks zlisters as scary captions and spooky graphics make London out to be Mogadishu. The drama is in retaliation for what the rioters called the “skullf*ck idiocy” of C4s London's Burning. “Either we act now, or we'll end up with a recreation of the Millbank occupation with that bloke from the Nationwide adverts and Juliet Stevenson” said the rioters.

MORE TEDIUM>>>

FLR EXCLUSIVE

DSG: EXPOSED
TRUTH BEHIND THE 'LIDL COMMUNISTS'
INFANTILE LEFTIST GROUP REVEALED TO BE FRONT FOR ADVERTISING MOGUL
THE RECENTLY-DISBANDED ANARCHIST PROPAGANDA GROUP known as the 'Deterritorial Support Group' has been exposed by the Fucking Left Rag as a front for none other than advertising magnate Charles Saatchi, author of the book How I sold you This Book because You're a Gullible Idiot. The FLR was first alerted to this scandal when The Guardians bourgeois lifestyle insert ran a story on the soi-disant 'lidl communist' group. After an in-depth investigation led by the FLRs top journalists, we got in touch with a source who would only term himself “Kronstadt”. “Saatchi is precisely the kinda guy who would pull this shit” said 'Kronstadt', 'Ive known him for years. You think this guy didn't want in on the ultra left? He was up for anything. ANYTHING.”. Spurred on by 'Kronstadt' and the fact that he definitely wasn't just some bloke we met down the pub, the FLR dispatched a team of interns to locate the North London commune where the group was supposedly based. Upon arrival they found the site abandoned, and snuck inside to see if they could acquire any more evidence. After hearing a noise, they ran around the back to find old man Saatchi sneaking out with high-quality printing equipment and a copy of The Coming Insurrection. Saatchi was then seized by the FLR for interview, stating that he was definitely DSG and “would have gotten away with it too If it wasn't for you meddling Trots”.
Corpulent lucre:The North London 'Commune' where the bourgeois revisionists were based.

OSBORNE HAUNTING TO BE TIRED AND IRKSOME.
...the songs of Billy Bragg. Osbornes evening will then proceed according to the most predictable manner possible. Following this a student who participated in UK Uncut actions in the summer of 2011 will be chosen via hashtags on twitter to represent cliché present . They will show Osborne public sector employees on strike having Christmas dinner with their families, and then sit in a topshop chanting “we are the 99%”. Osborne will then be abandoned in an underpass in Wandsworth to be mugged before the cliché of leftism future shows him a parent starving to death to feed their child the last can of safe to eat food, and a lolcat.

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