This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
Written by Jason Filardi
EXT. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL - DUSK A few cars scatter the parking lot. WE hear GRUNTS followed by the distinct sound of basketballs shredding net. INT. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/GYM - CONTINUOUS An empty gymnasium except for a shirtless MIKE O'DONNELL, 17. Mike stands feet BEYOND the 3 point line, grabs balls from a hopper and rapidly shoots, shoots, shoots. SWISH...SWISH...SWISH. This kid's automatic. Mike's hair, a pompadour mullet a la `21 Jump Street' and short shorts circa 1989. Mustached and curly haired COACH HARVEY, 40, enters. COACH HARVEY Hey, O'Donnell, save some for the game. Mike sinks one last jumper, turns to the Coach. MIKE Just warming up, Coach. Coach Harvey hands Mike a towel. COACH HARVEY First game of the season and the scouts are already lining up. You have half the season I know you're capable of, you can play anywhere you want, Mike. MIKE That's the plan coach. The rest of the FITCH FALCONS basketball team jogs out from the locker room followed by a PHOTOGRAPHER.
COACH HARVEY Round up, Jock Straps! Picture time. The Team assembles in the middle of the court. A PLAYER kneeling in front holds a sign, `FITCH FALCONS, 1989'. Hold on. MIKE Ed's not here yet.
DOM, 17, handsome, tall, long rat tail, scoffs2.
DOM He's the water boy.
MIKE And you suck, Dom, but we're letting you in the picture. A shoving match breaks out between Mike and Dom. Hey! Hey! COACH HARVEY Knock it off.
Coach Harvey pulls the Players apart just as the gym doors burst open. ED FREEDMAN, 17, sporting a jacket over a WIZARD costume, runs in, trips on his robe, gets up, peels his clothes off. ED Sorry I'm late. I was locked in a life and death battle with the dark wizard... COACH HARVEY ...Fall in, Freedman. Hurry up. Ed takes a spot next to Dom. PHOTOGRPAHER And 3, 2, 1WE see Dom reach behind Ed, grab hold of his underwear...RRRRIIIPP...FLASH. And with the flash WE cut to: INT. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/GYM - NIGHT The Falcons run, pass and shoot on one end of the court. the opposite end, a TEAM in BLUE warms up. Lights dim. Cue MC Hammer's `Can't Touch This'. CHEERLEADERS On
at center court perform the Hammer DANCE ROUTINE. PAN around the gym, everybody's doing the Hammer dance. Ed awkwardly tries to imitate Mike. Coach shakes his head in disgust and when the routine endsCOACH HARVEY Alright, Ladies, bring it in! The Falcons swarm to the bench, take seats. to the Players, skips Dom, stops at Mike. Ed hands waters 3.
MIKE Ed, I can't help you with the girls if you keep showing up places dressed like the Cookie Crisp guy. Okay? Dude, don't look now but I think Muffy Campanella is scopin' you hard. ED For real? Ed jerks around to blatantly stare at her. MIKE Smile, pud. Ed flashes a goofy smile. My bad. GIRL'S VOICE (o.s.) Mike? SCARLET, 17, an 80's beauty, stands at the end of the bench. MIKE Who's that stone cold fox? Oh, it's my girlfriend. (walks over) I'm glad you're here, Scar. This whole scout thing's got me wicked nervous. Dom dribbles past, smiles at Scarlet. DOM I'm dedicating my first basket to you, Scarlet. MUFFY mimes puking.
Mike's torn. in a daze walks right past Ed. SCARLET LONG SHOT: We hear nothing but see Mike's body deflate. lies. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/TUNNEL . He goes after her. Boys. 4. starts off.. Gotta run.MIKE Way you shoot that might be midseason! (to Scarlet) Everything cool? She smiles nervously. turns backMIKE (CONT'D) What's wrong? Totally. Everything's totally copacetic. COACH HARVEY Let's go! Remember. COACH HARVEY Where you going!? O'Donnell!? INT. MIKE Totally? REFEREE blows the whistle. Mike looks up at the stands. Takes his place for the jump ball. winners get the girls. sees a crushed Scarlet heading for the exit.NIGHT . Play or go after her. He steps away from Scarlet towards center court. Muffy and her friends mock Ed and laugh hysterically ED Do you really think Muffy's in to me? Mike. The Ref is about to toss the ball. The Crowd stomps and cheers LOUDLY. SCARLET Oh yeah. Losers please themselves! MIKE (to Scarlet) Excellent. He kisses her cheek..
at least 5000 needles. Who's lucky? Mike O'Donnell. Mike catches up to her. INT. knots a tie around his neck. She turns.MORNING MIKE O'DONNELL.. lies on a portable table in his boxers. ED'S HOUSE/MIKE'S BEDROOM . I am a lucky man. angrily slaps the alarm off. PRESENT DAY . CUT TO: 5.Mike rushes in. ACUPUNCTURE NEEDLES protrude from every inch of his body. A HOT. BATHROOM . MEDITERRANEAN STYLE HOUSE. PALISADES NEIGHBORHOOD.. now 36. YOUNG ACUPUNCTURIST adds more to him. suited Mike stands before the mirror.6 AM. love my job. bones creaking.MORNING ED FREEDMAN. ED'S HOUSE/LIVING ROOM . INT. MIKE (UNINSPIRED) Today is going to be a good day. OCEAN views. ACUPUNCTURIST Can you feel your Qi flowing freely? ED I'm not sure if its my Qi or . groans. neck and face. Mike leans in and kisses Scarlet. INT... He climbs out of bed. The sound of an alarm clock shatters the silence as WE settle in on a large.MORNING Opulent HOMES. I Mike yanks his tie straight up as if he were hanging himself. Manicured LAWNS. Luxury CARS. Scar! MIKE Wait.MORNING A showered. stiff. EXT. now 36. slumps against the wall.
6. groaning in pain the entire way. Sunshine. MIKE I better be. There's Mr. ED (CONT'D) (calls to Acupuncturist) What's this brown stuff again? ACUPUNCTURIST Rhinoceros urine. sees Mike watching. It's all the rage.internal bleeding. throws the shot back and immediately SPITS it all over the place. He pours himself a shot of BROWN LIQUID from a pitcher. Makes you look five years younger. Fei Jing Acupuncture. But today's not about me. I've invested 18 years of my life in that miserable company. ED There he is. MIKE Then why are you letting her stick needles in you? ED Because she's hot. You. Michael Shawn O'Donnell. It's about you becoming the new regional sales manager. Pure protein. ED No negativity. Mike enters. Negativity's for the 800 pound fat lady who needs to be airlifted out of bed. are a winner. shuffles over. Ed climbs slowly off the table. ED Delish! (to Mike) The girl has absolutely no clue what she's doing. . shakes his head in amusement. MIKE What are you doing now? Ed looks over.
My legs just went numb.little pills.MIKE A winner doesn't have to crash at his best friend's house because he was kicked out of his own house.. That like totally means so much to me. Ed drags painfully back to the Acupuncturist. You're like a totally amazing salesman. A glum look on his face. chatting away. 22. ED (CONT'D) I gotta get back. two level building.. ROGER Good morning. strides through the door. WENDY. EXT. leans over to him.. As you all know. peeps. happy couples. Surrounding a conference table are Mike's colleagues. ROGER. ED Are you kidding?! It doesn't get any better than this! (MORE) 7. What's it take to be an RSM? Leadership skills. You deserve it. boss. in skimpy business suits. bubbly. the only male present. WENDY Congratulations.HOT WOMEN. Smiling faces.MORNING Mike wheels his Audi A4 below a nondescript. SAN FERNANDO VALLEY . Sign reads. . MIKE Thanks. 20 to 35. a comprehensive knowledge of today's prescription pharmaceuticals and most importantly a dedicated soldier. ditsy. Wendy.. Good luck today. today I'll be naming the new regional sales manager. `Wyatt Pharmaceuticals'. Mike.MORNING PHARMACEUTICAL DRUG POSTERS cover the walls. Mike sits amongst them. WYATT PHARMACEUTICALS/CONFERENCE ROOM . 23. INT.
bro-ski.Mike straightens his tie. up out of hers. ROGER (CONT'D) All being said. Roger! ROGER Things have changed. INT. INT. your sales are admittedly better but she has the college degree. buttons his suit jacket. EXT.nobody..DUSK Mike pulls into the empty parking lot. SCREAMING and BOUNCING. congratulations(Mike begins to rise) Wendy. opens a door. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/HALL . climbs out of his car and into the building. Mike swallows his pride and exits. Wendy's only been here 2 months!? ROGER Look. My hands are tied. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/GYM . Wendy springs 8. I couldn't even hire you now with only a high school diploma. What can I do? MIKE You can give me the promotion.. ROGER (CONT'D) Now go out there and sell some drugs peeps! The Women stream out.DUSK Mike peers around. MIKE How could you do this to me? I've been a salesman here 18 years. . Dumbfounded. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/PARKING LOT .DUSK Mike hurries down the hall. Mike slumps back into his seat. peeks his head in.
19. The smiling.s.) You know someone in that picture? Mike startles from his daydream. Mike searches the pictures until he finds it. A kind-faced..he lands.MIKE Alex? No answer. begins dribbling. wanders over to a wall covered in PHOTOGRAPHS.. INT... makes it but when he lands. around his back. up to the 3 point lineMIKE (CONT'D) 3.faster. old JANITOR. stands behind him.. 2. turns. MALE VOICE (o. confident image of his youth stares back at him. between his legs.Fitch basketball teams of the past.. groansOoooh..DUSK Mike limps out of the gym. MIKE I'm in the center The Janitor leans in. Ed mid howl from Dom's wedgy. Mike stares at the photograph. mop in hand... MIKE (CONT'D) The kid's still got it.the team of 1989. MIKE (CONT'D) That was stupid. picks up the ball. smiles. Me. there. MIKE What are you talking about? .. Mike enters. goes for a reverse lay up.. Mike hits a perfect jumper at the imaginary buzzer. A basketball sits in the middle of the floor... scoops it up.. JANITOR Adolescence can be so cruel.. Mike dashes for the bouncing ball.lost in time and thought.hard. Mike grabs his lower back. I do.CRACK.. takes a closer look at Young Mike.the photo WE saw being taken earlier. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/HALL .
messy hair and slight.. Sorry I'm late. Michael. MIKE That'll be my epitaph. Dad? ALEX. the saddest are these: `It might have been.What are you doing. ALEX Why are you limping? MIKE Mike limping. You ready to get some dinner then? They make their way towards the door. MIKE (CONT'D) Never mind...) . and MAGGIE. MIKE Why's it have to be that way? JANITOR Maybe it does. appear at the other end of the hall.' 10. Guys. You never know who's listening. Can't hurt to ask. MIKE I was just talking to- Mike looks back to the Janitor. JANITOR We all have regrets. all gone.. Then a few minutes later..S. Michael wistfully eyes the old photo. pffffft. looks back to the JANITORMIKE How did you know.(lost in the picture AGAIN) I had life by the balls in that picture. JANITOR `For of all sad words of tongue and pen.... 17 and awkwardly pretty. Everything was possible. 15. maybe it doesn't.GONE. Hey. ALEX (O. .
Father and Son touch fists. MIKE I bet your chompin' at the bit for hoop season to start. Mags? new? MAGGIE Nothing. (Maggie remains quiet) Am I missing something here? MAGGIE You wouldn't understand.NIGHT Mike. ALEX Yeah. Alex and Maggie sit before dinner. Maggie stifles a laugh. CHEESECAKE FACTORY . That's a great university. Alex eats heartily.Tweaked my back pumping iron. . 11. MIKE It's a huge deal. You did!? MIKE That's fantastic! What's MAGGIE It's no big deal. me and the guys are running drills. I'm proud of you. MIKE And what about you. getting in shape. Really. really heavy iron. ALEX She got into Georgetown. it's not how big you areALEX -it's how big you play. MIKE That's my boy. Remember. INT. Maggie quietly pushes her food around. scrimmaging.
MIKE Try me. MAGGIE I have a lot of emotional stress right now. My friends are all going to different schools, I'm not even sure... 12.
MIKE That's not stress. Wait `til you get out into the real world, get a crappy job, have some smarmy twerpboss calling you bro-ski... Maggie rolls her eyes. ALEX Did you get the promotion, Dad? MIKE Still waiting to hear. Mike forces a smile hiding his disappointment. EXT. SAN FERNANDO VALLEY/MIKE'S HOUSE - NIGHT Mike pulls up behind a `Dom's Nursery' van. He, Alex and Maggie step out. Mike eyes the van with disdain. MIKE Is your mom home? ALEX She's probably out back. MIKE Hey, next week we'll have a barbecue at Uncle Ed's. Sound good? MAGGIE I'm counting down the minutes. Maggie heads straight for the modest ranch house and inside. MIKE What's with her? ALEX We see you once a week for a couple
hours. What do you expect? Alex follows Maggie into the house. around back. EXT. MIKE'S HOUSE/BACKYARD - DAY As Mike rounds the corner, he almost runs into a smiling Dom Johnson, 36. Don lugs 3 loaded trash bags. 13. Mike makes his way
DOM Hey, Mike. Good to see you. break, you and Scarlet. MIKE Bite me, Dom.
Dom serves Mike a cocky wink, continues on.
Scarlet, 36, slams a shovel into the ground, wedges it beneath a dying shrub and rips it out. MIKE (CONT'D) A little late for a delivery isn't it? SCARLET Dom was in the neighborhood. He offered to make a dump run for me. MIKE Doesn't he live 30 miles from here? SCARLET What's your point? MIKE Come on. He's been after you since 10th grade and he's after you now. SCARLET At least someone's after me. Mike smiles playfully and begins to serenadeMIKE `In touch with the ground, I'm on the hunt I'm after you.' Scarlet shakes her headSCARLET
Please, Mike. This isn't high school. That's not gonna work. MIKE `Smell like I sound, I'm lost in a crowd, and I'm hungry like the wolf.' Mike flirtatiously stalks her. Scarlet fights smiling. 14.
SCARLET You can stop now. It's not working. MIKE `Mouth is alive, with juices like wine, and I'm hungry like the wolf' Mike gets close to Scarlet's face. She smiles, stops herself and pushes him away. SCARLET You no longer have the right to invoke the "wolf." A chastised Mike eyes the yard...it's a WRECK...holes and mounds of dirt everywhere, carcasses of dead plants, bushes and flowers strewn about. MIKE Why are you destroying the yard? Scarlet stops shoveling, wipes dirt from her face. SCARLET I'm gonna use it as a showpiece for clients. Thanks for asking. MIKE Kind of a big undertaking isn't it? SCARLET I am a landscape designer. Then again you barely took an interest in my work so I guess that's a fair question. An awkward silence. Then-
MIKE I didn't get it. SCARLET
BOOM.then. SPLASH. into a hole. SCARLET (CONT'D) I never asked you to marry me. He slows the car to a crawl. Not much help. MIKE'S AUDI . Maybe it's time you looked for something else? MIKE That's a great idea.. Because there are so many options out there for a 36 year old with only a high school diploma.. MIKE But I did. SCARLET And it's all my fault.. MIKE Jesus! Mike turns the wipers on high. Scarlet fights back tears. right? Mike's silence says it all. RAIN drops in buckets.. Scarlet throws the shovel to the ground. but it's what you think.. THUNDER roars scaring Mike and literally shaking the Audi. SCARLET I'm sorry you're not happy with the way your life turned out Mike. really. Mike turns. But maybe this is what you needed.I'm sorry. Scarlet goes back to shoveling. 15.NIGHT A somber Mike drives alongside the Los Angeles River.static. An old song plays low on the radio. steps. but you're not the victim here. isn't it? MIKE I didn't say that. Scar. straining to see out the windshield. INT. SCARLET No. falls .. Scarlet shakes her head in frustration. I am.
to the door. MIKE (CONT'D) What theCRACK. The door swings open. ED'S HOUSE . The phosphorescent water swirls angrily. ROAD . WE follow the feet. Oh no!! MIKE (CONT'D) Hello!? Mike leans over the rickety railing..NEXT MORNING Mike's Audi rolls into the driveway. We see the Janitor leaning over the railing looking into the raging river. wobbles to the door so as not to mess up his freshly polished nails.. blinded by the rain makes his way to the railing. EXT.NIGHT Hey!? MIKE Get away from there!? 16. jumps out into the pouring rain.. Mike FALLS. Magical. into the river.. Mike brakes. The railing BREAKS. (pushes doorbell) Ed! Ed! I lost my key! INT.LIGHTNING flashes.headlong CUT TO: EXT. throws his door open. tissue between his toes.SPLASH... ED'S HOUSE . Mike can't take his eyes offLIGHTENING FLASHES Mike's 17 year-old face reflection stares back up at him. 2 filthy hands dig into pockets. A muddy. Mike. searchingMIKE Damn it. .. looks down. The Janitor's GONE. shoeless foot steps out followed by a shoed foot but in no better shape.MORNING Ed. wrapped in a robe. tattered slacks dragging on the cement.. It's mesmerizing.rising quickly.
BATHROOM . The muddy feet turn toward the mirror andMIKE (CONT'D) AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! ANGLE ON the mirror. Mud gone.. ANGLE ON the muddy feet as they enter and follow the trail of cotton balls up the stairs and to the bathroom door. it's only mud. brandishing an over-sized loofah. splashes his face frantically.standing before him is Mike. Ed's eyes widen with FEAR.. Ed gaspsED Don't come any closer! it! I'll use MIKE What are you gonna do? Exfoliate me to death? (Ed shrieks) You got into my samples case again. grimy suit now hangs off of him because.Coming! WHERE- ED I've been worried sick! Ed opens the door. He turns on the water. didn't you? A whimpering Ed points to the mirror. INT. He's still 17. The door slowly swings open. MIKE I've had a really rough night. 17. Mike's 17. frantically wobbles away. ED AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Ed slams the door. The door opens. His ripped.DAY ANGLE ON Ed cowering against the back wall. MIKE (CONT'D) What's your problem..HE'S 17 AGAIN.. MIKE (CONT'D) AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! . covered in MUD.
DAY Ed reaches the door. He yanks off his pants. we're just friends.Mike tears his suit jacket and shirt off. Really. He just manages to open the door when Mike tackles him to the floor. . doorway genuflecting. MIKE (CONT'D) I said pinch! INT. Mike crumbles.) Aye dios mio! They stop wrestling. CUT TO: EXT. fumbles with the locks. The two buddies roll around. I've recreated the exact contents of the LA River.hairless chest.LATER ED My theory is that you were transformed by a freak congruence of some of the planets most volatile elements. peeks down his boxersMIKE (CONT'D) I'm dreaming right? Is this some kind of hallucination? Mike pulls Ed up by his robe.s. ED'S HOUSE/BACKYARD . The Maid hurries off muttering prayers in Spanish. The LATINO MAID stands in the We ED Maria. ED'S HOUSE/FOYER .. MIKE Calm down! We need to talk! can work this out! FEMALE VOICE (o. look up. 18. MIKE (CONT'D) Do something! Anything! Pinch me! Ed throws a knee into Mike's nuts. bolts out the door SCREAMING.. limbs intertwined.
ED (CONT'D) What were you doing by the river anyway? CLOSE ON MIKE.The toxic pollutants. Nothing happens. Mike screams. MIKE Is that true? ED It was pretty bad. the contaminants. Ed picks up a TOASTER attached to an extension cord. Ed reaches down to plug it in. ED That's because the cocktail's not complete. runs for . Ed tosses it in. the house. Came unplugged. ED (CONT'D) Last night we had the worst electrical storm of the last hundred years. ED (CONT'D) Oops. it obviously isn't working. 19. MIKE The janitor! CUT TO: He leaps out. Won't be a moment. MIKE Well. Ed raises the toasterMIKE Wait!! Wait!! Wait!! Do you really think this'll work? ED It could. Light bulb goes off. REVEAL Mike in the gurgling green water of the hot tub.
FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/HALL . white hair. bounds out. Right.DAY The Audi screeches to a stop in front of the school. Mike 20. I showed him this picture of meMike points to the 1989 team photo. stare. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/BATHROOM . three letter jacket wearing JOCKS. MIKE There was an old guy. wearing a robe. -Of you? JANITOR That picture's from 1989.DAY . A FEMALE JANITOR. Mike stumbles to the bathroom.EXT. asking no one in PARTICULARMIKE Has anyone seen the janitor? Is the janitor here? Where's the janitor? Mike reaches the familiar wall of pictures. steps from a room. Mike backs away from the picture and the Janitor. laugh. burst out laughing. INT. MIKE (CONT'D) Excuse me! Excuse me!? Can you tell me where I can find the night janitor? JANITOR I'm the only custodial engineer currently employed here. STAN. INT. Confused. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/PARKING LOT . MIKE Forget it. races inside. Kids point. JAZZ and KEVIN.DAY Mike rushes past baffled STUDENTS. He's about to enter. knocking Mike on the way by.
down his pants. turns the water onVOICE (o. Alex drops. MIKE .Freedman. I'll get you down.. moves to a sink.there HANGS Alex.. it's gonna be a surprise to him too.. The back of his underwear wrenched up over the corner of the door. He told me to look out for you. reaches Mike pulls the underwear off the door. MIKE But why? ALEX Because they can and so they do on a daily basis.Mike enters. Did those guys do this to you? ALEX Goons from the basketball team. What do you think I'm doing!? Get me down! Okay. swings it open.. Your Uncle Ed's son. Alex? MIKE What are you doing up there? ALEX I wanted to see if I could get my nuts into my esophagus. sees what appears to be UNDERWEAR stretched over the corner of a closed stall door. Mike approaches the door.Mark.) Can I get a little help in here? Mike turns. adjusts his underwear. MIKE Okay. ALEX Uncle Ed has a son? MIKE Believe me. 21. ALEX How do you know my name? MIKE I'm...s. sneakers dangling 3 feet off the ground.
Mike pounds on the horn. ED Did you find the janitor? MIKE He doesn't exist.(SHOCKED) But you're one of them. Mike enters. yada. INT. To his left he spiesANGLE ON: Stan and Maggie making out against Stan's Mustang..spellscursesincantations. sense. (peruses the page) "Spell affect".NIGHT Ed sits at the island. guy. Nice robe. ED'S HOUSE/KITCHEN . Nothing makes Drive's off. We can eliminate Satan. Alex walks out bowlegged. 22. yada. ALEX No.com. There's something you need to figure out and until you do you'll stay a kid. Gotta go."casting procedure". I'm not.. (clicks on a link) I think what we're dealing with here is a spell of enlightenment.. On the screen WE see he's perusing www. AUDI . scaring them apart.. ED Did he ask you for your soul? MIKE No? ED That's a good sign. Basically it's a learning spell. My guess is that janitor was probably a war. A devastated Mike watches him go.yada.. The sound of the front door opening and closing. .MOMENTS LATER Mike drives off out of the parking lot. a laptop in front of him. INT..
ED .. cracks it. As Mike is about to take a sip. I'm sorry.. Never! CUT TO: I got it What are you . I think she'd rather have it that way.... Could you repeat that? Because I thought you just said you were23.MIKE . ED Are you out of your freaking mind!? MIKE My son was hanging by his underwear from a bathroom stall door and my daughter was being mauled by a smarmy gorilla. Ed swipes the beer from his hand. then.lock.I'm going back to high school.CHUGS it down. ED You're just gonna disappear? MIKE To be honest. MIKE Going back to high school. You'll never get me to go back to Fitch. They need me. Mike. What's with the attitude? ED Because I know you're going to suck me into this and I'm not going back there. Scarlet. covered. ED What about your job? MIKE Email and telephone. Mike grabs a beer from the fridge. gonna tell her? MIKE Nothing. ED Well..
sits behind her desk. I think I'm capable of forging some report cards. Mike is dressed in an overly exaggerated hip style. (a grown-ups concept of what's cool. Mike and Ed stand. buttoned-up professional. She's an attractive. 24. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/OFFICE . MIKE (CONT'D) Are you sure these look legit? ED (offended/cocky) Please. GOODWIN. MIKE Take a deep breath.DAY ED I hate you. What's up with the gear? MIKE This is hip teenage apparel.she's no hag. ED First sign this old hag is on to us I'MMike and Ed step through the doorINT.INT. I created software used to launch the space shuttle.. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE . Ed calms. Ed's face lights up and without missing a beatED . SECRETARY Ms. PULL BACK TO REVEAL Ed and Mike sit outside Principal's office. head for the door marked `Principal'.DAY MS. All you have to do is enroll me and say as little as possible. 35. I got it right off the mannequin at Ed Hardy.he looks ridiculous). Mike pulls a manila folder out of his book bag.. Goodwin will see you now.
She's a very successful prostitute. Ed smiles. So the Mike slaps his hand. Please. Mike finally physically moves ED Oh. JULIE O-Kay. JULIE Around here you're going to have to use Ms. Goodwin. Say hello. Ed . Goodwin's hand. I'm very single. ED Before we get started I want you to know that Mark's a bastard. And you behind there? You are? Mike tries to peer around Ed.. JULIE Excuse me!? ED I had him out of wedlock. I'm Julie Goodwin. MIKE Nice to meet you. rubs Mikes head vigorously. As Julie browses through it. JULIE Nice to meet you. MIKE Dad met mom in Thailand. Did you bring your transcripts? Mike hands Julie the folder. right..-so glad we chose this school. shakes Ms.and very rich. Mark. sit. This little chicken pock here is Mark. principal here at Fitch Senior High. 25. Julie. answer is yes. Sorry. Ed Freedman. Ed steps aside. I'm Ed steps in front of Mike. Ed's smile fades. Mike and Ed sit.
Both smiling. ED Be a good boy now. dad. Ed addresses him as fatherly as he knows howAnd sit up Ed turns to Julie. Mojito? JULIE I beg your pardon. JULIE (CONT'D) Lisa. 18. no. Julie rises abruptly. Mike glares at Ed. the doctor called. Ed's jaw drops. great PLANTAINSJULIE -Yeah. in steps LISA.a lot. MIKE Oh. You JULIE I think it's time we got Mark to class.. JULIE (CONT'D) So the last school you went to was Cutler High in Connecticut. I don't date my . follows Lisa out.. Mark. 26. elbowing fight.and Mike get into a pinching. ED I help him with his homework. will you print out a schedule for Mark and show him to class? Sure. I know this little Cuban place. When she looks up. Very impressive. It is herpes. Mike stands. ED (CONT'D) They grow up so fast. And you were a straight A student. were right. straight. ED You strike me as a Mojito gal. LISA Come on. the friends stop. Lisa! Lisa! The door opens.
DAY Mike steps in. It's a rule of mine. Stan stops before Mike. Mike's eyes narrow. 27. sits with the Bras. Stan. ED I'll enroll him somewhere else. SAMANTHA. Stan behind Mike. MAGGIE Oh thank God he's not here. INT. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/CALCULUS CLASS . MAGGIE (CONT'D) . MIKE Do their mothers know they dress like that? A GIRL next to him leans overGIRL Those are the Wonder Bras. JULIE I really need to get back to work. looks him up and downSTAN What did you did do? Mug the mannequin at the Ed Hardy store? JAZZ Tool! Laughter from the class. Mike takes a seat. Just as the last bell rings. Mike shies. eyes three sexy girls wearing next to nothing.students' parents. Beware. all the way fromSomething catches Maggie's eye. LAUREN and JAMIE. Jazz and Kevin strut in. Scattered giggles at his appearance. shakes her head in disbelief. The Jocks sit. ED See you at the next bake sale then? Julie shuts the door. The Jocks. busy texting on their phones. Julie ushers Ed to the door. I ran It's Mike waving to her. Maggie rushes in.
Why's that freak waving at me. Maggie places a hand over her face, looks down. 28.
MALE VOICE (o.s.) Take your seats. Stop the talking. MR. ADAMS, 45, prissy, strides in carrying a stack of papers. MR. ADAMS Here are yesterday's tests. see how you all did. Let's
Moans from the class. Adams walks up and down the aisle slapping them down on the desks.. MR. ADAMS (CONT'D) C-, C, B-, D, D-, F Adams reaches Maggie, drops the test on her desk... MR. ADAMS (CONT'D) D for O'Donnell. Humiliated, Maggie lowers her head. MR. ADAMS (CONT'D) Let me guess. Early acceptance? (Maggie nods) Where are we going? MAGGIE Georgetown. MR. ADAMS If you flunk senior calculus you'll be lucky to get into beauty school, missy. So, if you plan on slacking your way through my class, don't. Save your parents tuition money and pick up a blow dryer... Mike angrily standsMIKE Enough! Mr. Adams turns to Mike. MR. ADAMS Excuse me? MIKE
Do you think humiliating a 17 yearold in front of her peers is helpful or do you just get off on it? 29.
MR. ADAMS And you are? MIKE Mark Freedman. It's my first day. Adams turns, walks back towards the front of the room. MR. ADAMS Well, Mr. FreedmanStan signals his friends, takes out a LIGHTER, flicks it, leans forward and places the flame BETWEEN Mike's legs. The flame GLOWS RED against Mike's jeans. pull out their cells and begin VIDEOING. Adams scribbles on a padMR. ADAMS (CONT'D) -you've earned yourself a trip to the principal's office. Welcome to Fitch. Adams rips the paper off, holds it out towards Mike. sniffs at the airMIKE Is someone barbecuing? (BEAT) YYYYEEEEOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!! Mike LEAPS out of his shoes. A FLAME runs up his crotch. LAUGHTER. Mike, SCREAMING, runs around the room fanning his package. MR. ADAMS Get out, Mr. Freedman! Mike snatches the slip from Adams and out the door. INT. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/CAFETERIA - DAY A packed lunchroom. The CLIQUES sit amongst themselves. WE notice all the KIDS hunched over STARING AT THEIR PHONES. Mike enters carrying a bag lunch. A BLACK BURN MARK on the Mike The Jocks and Bras
crotch of his pants. A GAYSIAN spots him, yellsGAYSIAN Go Hot Pants! Do your dance, Girl! 30.
The entire cafeteria turns to Mike and erupts in laughter. As Mike passes each table, WE see the kids are watching his `fire dance' on their phones. Mike approaches a table of the 3 BIGGEST LOSERS in school, unkempt hair, fat, acne. Mike begins to sit whenBIGGEST LOSER Look, we feel your pain. We really do. But life's hard enough, Brother. Mike nods, continues on past the snickering and catcalls until he sees Maggie and the Wonder Bras. ANGLE: Wonder Bra Table. Maggie, Samantha, Jamie and Lauren pick around plates of cafeteria food. MAGGIE What's the big deal? He stuck up for me in class. It was a nice thing to do. SAMANTHA He was totally sexing on you. LAUREN He's coming. Pretend you're not here. Mike approaches, big smile. The Wonder Bras look off in every direction except Mike's. MIKE Hi, Maggie. Hi, girls. I'm Mark-
The Girls continue looking away, ignoring Mike. Girls? Oh my God. here? Good. MIKE (CONT'D) Hello? Anyone home? LAUREN Can't you see we're not
MIKE So there's plenty of room
You're SAMANTHA I think my grandfather has that phone. MIKE Maggie. MIKE Maggie.) Yo! . SAMANTHA Look. 31.then. could we talk somewhere ELSEThe sound of a bouncing ball interrupts. JAMIE Oh. why are you friends with these horrible girls? MAGGIE Listen. He brought a bag lunch. I already have a boyfriend. JAMIE He still gets calls. How sped. MIKE What's a NIP? LAUREN Not Important. looks at the caller ID. How 2007. I appreciate what you did in class but.I. a NIP. MALE VOICE (o. look. (special ed) Mike hides his lunch. Go away.P...Scarlet. MIKE You have a boyfriend? (his phone rings) Excuse me a second. this table is V.s. He sends it to voice mail. Mike pulls out an OLDER Blackberry phone. Mike drops down next to Samantha and across from Maggie.
no. hands all over her. Stan pulls Maggie up.the entire cafeteria watches. places it back on Mike's head and SMUSHES it down. STAN You gotta problem with me.. MIKE (SARCASTIC) We should do this again sometime. puts the ice cream in the hat. starts making out with her. I don't. STAN Bro-ski. Mike turns and walks out. Stan stops groping. what are you doing at our table? Nothing. STAN What? I'll buy you another ice cream. WE see Alex. seated by himself at a back table. Maggie nods for Mike to go. WE can see Mike's blood BOIL untilMIKE (CONT'D) Get your hands off her. a solid foot taller than him. you little punk! Oops. steps over to Mike. picks up an ice cream from Maggie's tray. Stan takes Mike's hat off. MIKE No. STAN Now make like Tom and Cruise. 32. MAGGIE That was so not cool. Mike stands. Stan. Flush with humiliation and ice cream dripping down his face.Mike turns. Defeated- . shake his head in disgust. MAGGIE He was just leaving. Jazz and Kevin swagger over. `bra? Mike looks around..
MIKE They mocked my clothes and phone. kid. ED Get the boy a Shirley Temple. That building needs to be exorcised. Funny stuff. My daughter got a tongue bath in front of me and I have mint chip in my ears. isn't it? The BARTENDER approaches. Extra cherries. INT. Mike miserably . ED Yeah. BARTENDER What can I get you? MIKE Double scotch neat. MIKE It was terrible. plucks a cherry off his pink drink. It couldn't have been that bad. Ed. The place is evil. The Bartender nods serves up the drinks. ED Come on. RESTAURANT/BAR . ED High school's great.NIGHT A beaten down Mike sits alongside Ed at the bar. videoed and sent to every member of student body. MIKE My beanbag was lit on fire. I caught it on youtube.33. BARTENDER Funny. MIKE I'm not going back there.
I don't have it in me. You could flunk your classes. I need a reason to see her again. This is . you're an adult sitting on 36 years of experience. An OLDER WOMAN takes a seat next to the boys. Lady. ripping their hearts out. Then I can rush in. MIKE I know why you're encouraging me all of a sudden. start a fight.34. The Lady turns away in disgust. kitten killing son. a teary eyed. helpless. You should be dominating these kids. ED Did she ask about me? MIKE She's not your type. MIKE I can't do it. What do you think? The Older Lady. ED Mike. turns to EdOLDER LADY I think you should be reported to child services! ED Mind your business. 35. ED As far as I can tell that's her only flaw. having listened to it all. a family matter. You'll figure it out. MIKE Because you want to nail my principal. ED Because I'm a supportive dad. vandalise the place. She's smart. single dad who can't handle his angry.
That's what I did. considers just how "well adjusted" Ed is. Tshirts. no sweat off my sack. Ed slips a MELONS Magazine into the pile. ED At'a boy. 2 hip SALESGIRLS pull clothes from racks. Now what you need is a crash course on being a teen in 2008. INT. At the register. POPULAR STAR torn from one of the teen mags hangs on the mirror.NIGHT A picture of a YOUNG.NIGHT Mike and Ed stand before the wall of 100 top albums. Mike eyes Ed. INT. sits beside Mike sipping wine. hoodies. VIRGIN MEGA MUSIC STORE . A MONTAGE OF MIKE'S CRASH COURSE EXT. Ed Ed . jewelry.NIGHT It's the PRETTY WOMAN scene. He pounds the bar. The Girls frown and go back to work. shirts.ED Hey. A determined look comes over Mike. MAGAZINE STAND . A clean cut Mike tries on sneakers. TRENDY CLOTHES STORE . He'll be fine. wear headphones listening and moving to the music. Ed nods with his approval or disapproval. A HAIRDRESSER cuts away and highlights Mike's long locks. Both 36. jeans.NIGHT The Boys gather a stack of TEEN MAGAZINES and TABLOID RAGS. MIKE You're right! My kids need me. enjoying a manicure. Tell Alex to stop wearing underwear all together. takes out his cell to put their numbers in it. the Girls hand Mike his bags of clothes. INT. TRENDY HAIR SALON .
ED What are you doing? This MIKE I forwarded my calls to my new phone. music and books. INT.NIGHT Mike and Ed. MAC STORE . I'm detoxifying as well as losing an inch or 2 from my problem areas. Mike looks up and YELLS. A knock on the door.NIGHT A SALESMAN hands a smiling Mike his new iPhone. There is. it's a seaweed wrap. ED'S HOUSE/OFFICE . finished product. sit before the computer. Photoshopped pictures of Mike in exotic locations. Think she'll buy it? ED Probably not because when she called earlier I told her you were being detained at Guantanamo. surrounded by the magazines and music discs. tap fists. Ed TEACHES Mike how to create a MYSPACE page. Bogus About Me and Interests.INT.NIGHT Mike sits on the bed. . All the `now' movies. page makes `Mark Freedman' look like a playboy. INT. MIKE There must be a very hot girl downstairs. types away on his laptop. sent some work emails and just lobbed one to Scarlet. his entire body and head wrapped in SEAWEED. Ed stands in the doorway. The Boys view the flashy. ED Before you ask. ED'S HOUSE/MIKE'S BEDROOM . told her I was in Peru finding myself. Ready for tomorrow? 37. They fill his Friends section with only hot girls.
Stan and Maggie wrapped in a heated embrace. And don't forget to hook me up son. struts up to them.DAY It's the MOMENT. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/HALL . Oh my god. A horn blares. right? The Bras' jaws hit the floor. You girls are lesbians. that felt good. SAMANTHA Was that- JAMIE Did you seeLAUREN I told you he was cute. The tinted window rolls down revealing the new and improved Mike.MORNING The usual pre-school ritual. EXT. Stan and Maggie jump out of the way. Mike walks off. MIKE So I've been here a couple days now and I think I got it figured out. The Bras smile. An ASTON MARTIN VANQUISH stops next to the crew. INT. 38. Off Mike's huge smile. . HONK. Lauren and Jamie text by their lockers. Kevin. Mike walks the hallway. Mike Samantha. the Wonder Bras and Maggie all hang around Stan's `stang. Ed plods off. Man. kissing. Jazz.MIKE I am so ready. Ed flips Mike a set of keys. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/PARKING LOT . Mike winks then rolls on past. Mike's eyes light up. handsome and hip. ED That ought'a put you over the top. Stan. a huge grin on his face.
The one facing them is a cute Latino.. Mike approachesMIKE Mind if I sit here? Mark? ALEX You look totally different. scans the crowded room. MIKE I got rid of the bull's eye on my forehead. MIKE Who's she? ALEX Nicole Lopez. I get all stupid so I just stare. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/CAFETERIA . 16.. ALEX . Alex quickly shies away. ALEX Could you move to the left a little? Mike inches left. NICOLE.INT.2 girls eat lunch together.DAY Mike steps from the kitchen area carrying a TRAY. She's in my Spanish class. finds Alex seated at a table ALONE. The first time I met your mother I was so nervousALEX My mother? MIKE What? 39. peeks behind him. MIKE Have you spoken to her? ALEX No. It's a heartbreaking image. Nicole smiles. Mike sits across from Alex. MIKE I'll tell you a funny story.
MIKE I'll swing by your house around 7.. Melissa Etheridge jammedSAMANTHA -You're so rude!? We're not gay. ALEX Is your mom . take seats at the VIP table. ALEX I wouldn't go over there. 40. Samantha's a total slu.You said. I'll see you tonight. `the first time I met your mother I was so nervous... The Wonder Bras sway in. plunks himself down. You wanna MIKE That's weird. MIKE Don't worry. JAMIE Yeah. Samantha's jaw drops. We like boys. Mike rises. Stan and his Baboons have lunch this period. Mike strolls over to the Bras' table. ALEX Cool.' I did? hot? Dude. MIKE (CONT'D) Did you girls catch Ellen yesterday? Rosie was on. MIKE What's going on tonight? hang out? Do something? ALEX Really? MIKE Yeah you could show me around..
SAMANTHA Like we'd ever give you our numbers.. Stan. STAN You think `cause you got a haircut and new clothes people'd forget what a fag you are? MAGGIE Cut it out. Stan. catches the ball. his goons and Maggie come up behind Mike. SAMANTHA I was on like 5 Red Bulls! I can't believe you keep bringing that up. Let's eat. Mike. spins around. I'll text you. The Bras' begin to bicker amongst themselves. Did mommy sew that on there so you wouldn't forget your name? Laughter from the Students..NOT. plugs the earphones in his ears. JAMIE Rad phone. The whole cafeteria turns their attention on Mike and Stan. The Bras immediately stop bickering. carrying a basketball. Mike points to the name `Stan' on Stan's letter jacket. Later. MIKE I know.LAUREN Last New Year's Samantha made it with my boyfriend. Mike pulls out his new iPhone.much. ogle the phone. STAN Heads up! Stan whips the ball at Mike. STAN . Mike rises from the table. cat-quick... readsMIKE Stan. 41.
Mike feigns whipping it back at Stan. Captain of the basketball team. Stan's brain is underdeveloped. 42. According to leading psychiatrists Stan is a bully for 1 of 3 reasons. who recoils. The entire cafeteria LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY. High school is your kingdom. STAN You don't know me. MIKE (CONT'D) But. I feel sorry for you. under all that male bravado there's an insecure little girl banging on the closet door trying to get out.Gimme my ball back. Mike dribbles between his legs. then gently rolls the ball back to Stan. . Stan. Mike ignores him and starts dribbling. Stan's more complex than that. 2. MIKE You know. Stan and his Posse tap fists. Why? It would be way too easy to say Stan preys on the weak because he's simply a dick. 1. Stan's a bully. People. MIKE Oh but I do. bee-yotch. No. MIKE (CONT'D) I'd argue that Stan suffers from all 3. All too well. You're the man. Mike speaks loudly now. like a caveman. And the third reasonMike holds up his pinky then spins the ball on it. Dates the pretty girls. playing to the cafeteria. MIKE (CONT'D) (WINKS) Don't hurt yourself big boy. Therefore Stan is unable to use self-control so he acts out aggressively.
.ringing. She glares at Stan. MENCER. Don't be intimidated. MIKE Thanks. Mike's iphone buzzes. ERUPT. including Alex. Mike sits.) . Mike ducks just as the ball whizzes overhead... 43. this book has information on every college and university in the country. MENCER (CONT'D) A good place to start is here.. approaches MRS.. It doesn't hurt to take a look.s. Mencer hands Mike a hefty book.. 60.. The Wonder Bras eye Mike with new found lust.. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/COLLEGE CENTER . MRS. Ed answers. Mrs... splattering her with food. INT.. but just so you know I'm not planning on going to college.THE OPTIONS HE LOST YEARS AGO. INT.NIGHT A pumped-up Mike dials. ASTON MARTIN .DAY Mike enters. On the seat beside him rests a stack of college applications. rockets across the cafeteria landing on Miss Goodwin's tray.Some students. 1. ANGLE ON Mike's face as he walks away. MRS.ANGLE ON SCREEN: the Wonder Bras digits appear.smiling STUDENTS. CAMPUSES and LECTURE HALLS.. MENCER A lot of kids feel that way. starts paging through the book and gets lost in the bright colored pictures. MIKE My guidance councilor made me come. ED (o. MIKE (CONT'D) (to himself) 3. 2.
you look like. walks to the door.s..Hello? MIKE It was incredible! I was incredible! You should'a seen me! I humiliated Stan in front of the entire lunchroom. Buddy. EXT. No aches.. takes a deep breath and rings the bell. SCARLET (o.. I've known your father since.) Coming! The door opens revealing Scarlet in her dirty yard attire... SCARLET (CONT'D) I've been dying to meet you.visibly stunned by the resemblance.. Scarlet stares . I'm fine. It's just.NIGHT The Aston Martin pulls up. Please.. MIKE Is something wrong? SCARLET (FLUSTERED) No.. No pains. MIKE'S HOUSE/LIVING ROOM . Come in. 44.NIGHT Scarlet and Mike sit across from one another. MIKE'S HOUSE . The popular girls were begging to give me their numbers! ED See what happens when you put a little lipstick on the pig? Did you manage to get sent to the principal's office? MIKE Man.No. INT.. Gotta run.SPEECHLESS... I feel great! I even shot some hoops after school. Mike hangs up.(gasps) Scarlet. Everyone was clapping. Mike climbs out..
B&E. SCARLET You don't look anything like him. who's your mother? MIKE My mother.at Mike as if examining every pore on his face.she. word on the street is Dom's been spreading gingivitis all over town. SCARLET I'll keep that in mind. You're a grown woman but.a.. Mark.. MIKE (CONT'D) -a convict. SCARLET (CONT'D) . Mike spies Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment on a table.. Nothing major. They met while dad was at Princeton. 45. If you don't mind me asking.. shanking... SCARLET And you say Ed Freedman is your father? MIKE That's my dad. She was on parole.. fist fighting. But she's dead now. All 68 inches of him.. Oh? SCARLET I'm sorry.she was. MIKE I warned her about kite surfing during hurricane season. So how are things with you? Doing anything exciting? Dating? Flirting with Dom Johnson maybe? SCARLET Why would you ask about Dom? Did Ed tell you to say that? MIKE I mean do what you want. In New Jersey. Scarlet can't take her eyes off Mike.
MIKE'S HOUSE/BACKYARD . Fresh blankets of sod rest in piles next to stacks of limestone. I'm actually redoing the backyard.. It was a disaster back here a few days ago. It'll be a real sanctuary back here. white lights above it all so every night will be a starry one. The yard's been cleaned up. flowers.It's crazy how much you like my husband when he was a teenager. leads Mike to the french doors. I'm laying the sod next and the limestone pathway will go here. HUNDREDS of unplanted plants. flips on the lights. Obviously I have a lot to do still. (MORE) 46.. EXT. points to her dirty clothesMIKE You doing some gardening? SCARLET I am. pointing and explaining. MIKE I almost don't even recognize it..er.NIGHT Mike and Scarlet step outside. Scarlet opens the doors. SCARLET You wouldn't have. Scarlet moves about the yard.. SCARLET (CONT'D) It's a work in progress so you'll have to use your imagination some. trees and shrubs sit around the yard in strategic positions. I'm a landscape designer. . I'll show you. I have an amazing fountain being delivered that'll go here and a bench over there. Scarlet stands. Mike switches subjects. SCARLET (CONT'D) Then I'll plant all those.if I had seen it before I probably wouldn't recognize it. over a hundred different types of flowers and plants. SCARLET (CONT'D) And I'll string rows of tiny.
Alex appears at the doors interruptingYo.NIGHT Mike and Alex step in. with your dad not being around and all. be home by 10:30. xo. And. 47. ASTON MARTIN . Whatever. MIKE Good luck with the project. Mike stares at the screen as if it were in hieroglyphics. bk. INT. text message from Samantha. soi! but w/e. gtg. Alex. sam. BEEP. brb. I think it bothers her more that he hasn't called me or Maggie in a while. Scar.MIKE It seems like a lot'a work for one person. ALEX Let's do this. ttyl. It reads: SAMANTHA'S TEXT Wat^? mobinit 2 zuma. Mark. SCARLET Nice to meet you. Scarlet stares after him. Mike pulls out his iPhone. A chill runs up Scarlet's spine. MIKE How's your mom doing? You know. MIKE . Mike heads back inside. SCARLET My husband's the only one that ever calls me that. BEEP. ALEX She doesn't like to show it but I know she's bummed.
MIKE What are you so nervous about? ALEX . 48. wingman. Back. LAUREN Yeah. turns him back. EXT. WE find Maggie and the Wonder Bras seated by the fire. ZUMA BEACH . Be right back. There's a picture of him jamming with the Chili Peppers at Coachella. Others splash in the ocean.. So over it but whatever. MIKE Let's hit the beach. Let's go back to my house and play video games. but he turned him down to help orphans with Brangelina in Nambib-ib-bib. ALEX This looks boring.in Africa. KIDS lay on blankets.NIGHT A BONFIRE illuminates the night sky. MUSIC plays. Talk to you later. JAMIE I heard Timbaland wants to produce an album with him.. Oh my God! SAMANTHA I bet he knows Justin. play football. readsALEX It says `What up? Mobbing it to Zuma. hug. SAMANTHA We were on his myspace page.I have no idea what this says? Alex takes the phone from Mike. Sam. Alex turns. The two touch fists. kiss. Mike grabs his arm. Got to go. ANGLE: Mike and a nervous Alex make their way down the sand.
and he's eating it up. GIRLS fawn over him. I mean. You're cool. I just don't play on the team. Maggie shakes her head. She's here.The beach is for the older. MAGGIE Can he be any lamer? Using my little brother to get to me? SAMANTHA If that boy was an apple he'd be delicious. man. As a confused Mike and Alex approach the scene. get all dreamy. MIKE But I thought you were getting ready for the season? ALEX I never told you that. Mike is stunned. chase after her. Seated with FRIENDS is Nicole. Samantha leaps up. ANGLE: Lauren spots Mike with Alex.. Lauren and Jamie As Mike and Alex approach the gathering. .. cool kids. ALEX I don't play basketball. Mike's become a celebrity. 49. MIKE What are you talking about? You're a basketball player. I can play. LAUREN Here he comes! The Bras whip their heads around. MIKE Who? Alex nods towards the fire. BOYS call out to Mike. tap his fist. scurries over to Mike. I don't belong here. Alex BELCHES loudly. Alex freezes up. ALEX It's her. Oh.
50. MIKE Why? Because Stan says so? You think Stan's a winner? He's going nowhere. Okay. Any girl would be lucky to get your attention. man hands tell her she should be a hand model. You're gonna go over there and introduce yourselfALEX She won't like me. Like if she has big. ALEX Really? MIKE Really. And right now. Alex takes a deep breath.ALEX She's so pretty it makes me gassy. You're a great kid. ALEX I can do that. Then compliment her on something she never gets complimented on. ALEX What do I say? I'm a MIKE Just introduce yourself. marches off just as Samantha runs up and throws her arms around Mike. Here's what you're gonna do. (Alex burps nervously) And don't burp on her. MIKE Calm down. A determined look comes over Alex. SAMANTHA You came! Why don't we take a walk somewhere private and play? . meaty. Mark. Mike grabs Alex by the shoulders. loser. there's a girl over there who's dying to meet you.
perfect. ALEX I'm Nicole. ALEX Wait. turns back around and blurts outHi.. Nicole looks upNICOLE Hi. Sam. I'm just real nervous and I've wanted to talk to you for so long. A full blown ARGUMENT breaks out between the Bras. Mark promised me a walk on the beach. slips out. You Nicole hides her hands. JAMIE I don't think so. Alex. NICOLE You don't look like a Nicole. GIRL 1 I think he got some on me! 51. ALEX You have big. NICOLE Seriously!? The Girls duck for cover. Mike sees Nicole and her Friends giggle. And Mark told me to compliment you on something you never get complimented on but I couldn't find anything because everything's so. The Girls' jaws drop.. I've got less miles on me. Maggie sitting by the fire alone. LAUREN Walk with me. As he turns to retreat. Alex stops. should be a hand model. Oh my God! Alex rips a huge BURP. ANGLE: Alex steps over to Nicole and suddenly loses confidence. . I'm sorry. meaty man hands.Jamie and Lauren rush over.
MIKE Whoa. Stan and I both are. I thought you were going to Georgetown? MAGGIE I'm going to Westwood Community College. MAGGIE Get to the point why don't you? MIKE I'm serious. leaps to his feet shouting52. Kids all stare. MAGGIE What do you want? Stan. MIKE I know he bullies your brother. Nicole? Nicole scoots over making room next to her. MIKE Why are you dating him? Alex smiles. MAGGIE Stan barely knows Alex exists. He's not a nice guy. We're moving in together after graduation. Mike loses it. Whoa. MAGGIE Don't talk about him like that. Young Lady! If you think I'm gonna let you throw your life away on some Sleestack you're crazy! I forbid you to see him anymore and that's final! Maggie jumps up.Nicole and her Friends MELT. MIKE The hell you are. . NICOLE Do you want to sit down. You don't even know him. ANGLE: Mike sits down beside Maggie. Matter of fact he's a jackass. Whoa.
ED He cares. MIKE Don't you walk away from me. Mark. EXT. Obviously he doesn't care. SAMANTHA Who's Margaret? LAUREN He doesn't even know her name. 53. ED'S HOUSE/POOL . JAMIE He's so not into her. the 2 in a heated conversationSCARLET I haven't heard from him in three weeks.MORNING A HOT GIRL wearing a `Lifeguard' bathing suit sits atop a high chair. Scarlet Maggie SCARLET Then where is he? Mike steps from the house. looms over him. heads for the parking lot. Ed floats on a raft. sees ScarletMIKE What's going on? SCARLET Nothing. The Bras make the `text me' sign then hurry after Maggie. I was just dropping . Mike kicks angrily at the sand and accidentally into the faces of a group of KIDS. Margaret Sarah O'Donnell! Maggie and the Bras turn towards Mike and glare. A frozen drink next to him.MAGGIE Who do you think you are!? father?! My Maggie stomps over to the still bickering Bras.
Scarlet tosses a manila envelope on the patio table. MIKE What was that all about? ED That envelope contains divorce papers. If he has anything to say. ED (CONT'D) But what do you care? You're going to college. right? Life's one big panty raid for you.something off. he can say it then. in the next . MIKE You went through my room!? ED If you'd cleaned like I asked I wouldn't have had to. Mike feigns innocence. You can't be serious about this can you? 54. ED Karmically speaking. MIKE I don't know what you're talking about? ED I saw the applications in your room. I'm going to do it right this time around. in stunned silence. Mike eyes the envelope. SCARLET (CONT'D) Our court date is the 27th. Mike starts to argue then gives inMIKE I have to face the possibility that I might never turn back and if that's the case. Scarlet exits.
Mike's phone beeps. Mike winks back knowingly. Mike sits just as the rest of the class files in. good kid. A wide-eyed Mike spins in his seat to find the Wonder Bras smiling at him.3 perfect ASSES in tiny bikini bottoms. Stan. Stan walks off. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/CALCULUS CLASS .DAY Mike slips inside the empty classroom.. Stan leans on his desk. Stan kisses Maggie and takes his seat. don't you? MIKE Who? STAN My girlfriend. She's a Stan approaches. placing a FOREARM and a HAND on the sticky desktop. STAN You like her. storms off. 55. He checks it. Mike slams his locker shut.. slathers KRAZY GLUE all over Stan's DESKTOP and CHAIR. MIKE Leave her alone. Adams enters. She told me you were trashing me at the beach.. Mr. He catches Mike looking back at him and gives him a cocky wink. STAN I don't know how good she is yet but after I find out. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/HALL .A PIX MESSAGE.life you're coming back as a hemorrhoid. Ed calls after him- ED (CONT'D) I'm not paying for college! INT..DAY Mike shoves books in his locker. she's all yours. Mike scoffs. . INT.
.. Jazz yanks.STUCK. Maggie rises nervously from her seat.. Miss O'Donnell.. people. Who can come up here and solve this for me? Anyone? Blank. dragging the desk. break out their video phones as Stan fumbles around.it's WET. Stuck!!! STAN I'm stuck! My fingers! Adams tosses Stan stands. The Kids and Mike burst out laughing..they STICK.. uninterested faces.. .. the chalk angrily on his desk. When Stan tries to remove his fingers from his nose. PANICKING. Jazz bounds out of his seat. Fine.. As she passes Stan WE see. Stan tries to raise his other arm.the CHAIR GLUED to his butt. ADAMS Settle. shuffles to the front of the class.. Stan! Sit down! STAN It's glue! I'm glued to everything! 56.MR. No! STAN Don't pull--! Stan's SCREAM echoes. ADAMS Sit down.. ADAMS (CONT'D) Not one person. ADAMS (CONT'D) This was your homework. JAZZ I'll get it off! No! RRRRIIIIPPPP. hunched.. Come up here and dazzle us with your brilliance. MR. grabs hold of Stan's wrist. Adams scribbles a large equation on the blackboard.he places his wet fingers to the tip of his nose and smells. MR. Scattered giggles. MR. The DESK ATTACHED to his forearm and his FINGERS STUCK to his nose. Stan lifts his fingers from the desktop.
INT. dribbling and outside shot. Mike begins to walk out. That gives us a week and a half. (QUIZZICALLY) Where did you hear that? . Alex enters. ALEX I'm too small anyway. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/GYM . MIKE So what's your problem? and his friends? ALEX Just leave it alone. wearing basketball gear and bouncing a basketball. Remember. MIKE You don't need to be afraid of them. You probably don't have any skills anyway. important? What's so MIKE This year you're making the team. it's not how big you areALEX -it's how big you play. ALEX Forget it. stands in the middle of the court. MIKE Yeah. Is it Stan ALEX I got skills. you're right. 57.DAY Mike. ALEX I got your text. Hey! Mike turns back. We practice everyday `til try outs. MIKE That's why we focus on your speed. Alex.
A WHAM. STAN Come on. Alex dribbles quicker. MIKE Back off. MIKE We'll save you the embarrassment for try-outs. Mike steps up to defend. You girls wanna play with the boys then let's play. turns his back. STAN I don't think so. dribbles. Alright. Ally. 58. STAN What are you 2 queers doing in my gym? MIKE Let's go. faking left and right. He and Mike move towards the door. Alex stops dribbling.MIKE (COVERS) I don't know? Read it somewhere I guess. The doors slam open. MIKE (CONT'D) You got a little game. Alex takes a deep breath. tired of being afraidIt's okay. tries to defend the much bigger Stan. Alex throws his hands up. BLOOD speckled BAND-AID covers the tip of Stan's nose. through his legs. Embarrass me. Be a sport. . forcing Alex back. Mike tosses Alex the ball. Show me what you got. Alex begins to dribble. Stan easily backs Alex down. bumping into Alex's midsection. While dribbling. ALEX I got him. Stan takes the ball from Alex. Stan moves backwards. 2 on 2. Stan and his Posse block the way. In walk Stan and his Posse. Stan. Alex.
SECRETARY Mr. MIKE Act like you're hurt and she won't be able to stay mad at you. Stan spins.DAY Mike and a nervous Alex sit outside the principal's office. your son has a black eye. Jazz and Kevin throw Mike off Stan...WHAM. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/OFFICE . Blind with RAGE. ED (CONT'D) . Mike holds an ice pack to his eye. 2 points! STAN (CONT'D) And I was fouled! Stan high 5's Jazz and Kevin.Alex catches one to the head and DROPS. ED Wuss! Ed sits between Mike and Alex... An elated Ed blows in.. elbows high. runs over to the fracas. now 58. ED Way to go. slugger! Get any shots in? The Secretary's jaw drops. 59. pulls the boys apart.POW.. COACH HARVEY Hey! That's enough! That's enough! INT.. She's gonna be pissed.You ready? STAN Here it comes. punching and kicking him.tackles him hard to the floor.. ALEX My mom's been in there a while. The door swings open. enters the gym. Freedman. Mike RUSHES Stan. Stan shoots and scores. COACH HARVEY.
Ouch. Scarlet. gentle touch. isn't it? My first parent/principal conference. stands. an angry Scarlet steps out. Exciting. And how about you. ED Hey. She 60. removes the ice pack. ED Good. Alex. Good. SCARLET (MELTS) My poor baby. Scarlet. nudges HIM) Nice goin'. SCARLET Ed. Mike loses himself in her caring. . How you doin'. a bit weirded out by Mike. How do I look? Anything in my teeth? How's my breath? Ed flashes his pearly whites then blows on Mike. hurt? SCARLET (CONT'D) You poor thing.a purple shiner. You smell great. Mark? Scarlet bends down so she's eye to eye with Mike. (turns to Mike. MIKE Not anymore. Mom. Does it Scarlet strokes Mike's face.. buddy? ALEX I'm okay I guess. Scarlet looks sternly to AlexFighting? SCARLET What's gotten into you? ALEX (rubs his jaw) I can't talk. My jaw.Hey.. The principal's door opens.
come on in. Mike places his head sadly in his hands. INT. SCARLET Okay. As Ed passes Julie on the way inED (CONT'D) I'm heartbroken. fights back tears. unravels a bit. If you do. I'll meet you at the car. I Scarlet turns to Ed.. Julie the Principal pokes her head out the door.. I promise. Scarlet forces a smile. hushed- SCARLET (CONT'D) Did you give him the divorce papers? ED I sent them to him. ED I'll take it from here.SCARLET Alex. frustration. SCARLET Is it another woman? I can handle it. really. Scarlet looks down.I'm running out of excusesED I'll tell him. For the first time he's seen HER REALITY. The boy's incorrigible. need to talk to Uncle Ed for a second.. Alex shuffles out of the office. 61. pain... JULIE Ed. For the kids. Tell me the truth. Ed whispers to Mike. ED I haven't heard from him. please have him call home..DAY . Mike watches her go.hurt. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE .
My son? ED Mark! Get in here! Now! Mike slouches in. MIKE He wears girls underwear. you'll be facing detentions or worse. Ed throws his hands up in exasperation. Boys will be boys. it's also been brought to my attention that Mark may have Krazy glued a boy to his chair. ED (CONT'D) Did you glue a boy to his chair? MIKE No. ED He sucks his thumb. puts on his best `troubled parent' look. He won't eat his vegetablesMIKE He shaves his back. takes a seat. JULIE Enough! Mark. But.Ed takes a seat across from Julie. He's acting up at home. You can go now. Ed stands and with exaggerated sadness- ED He's crying out for help and I don't know what to do. ED See? The boy's out of control. exits. It hurts so bad. I know it's hard to be the new kid but if I have anymore trouble from you. JULIE Look. if it was only one isolated fight it wouldn't distress me all that much. ED He wets his bed. Ed stifles a laugh. Maybe we could discuss this over margaritas? . 62. Mike nods. puts on a serious face.
s. SCARLET (BLUSHES) Embarrassing. stands.. EXT. ED You're the expert. Ed shakes Julie's hand and exits. SCARLET Gloves are for sissies. sniffling. you 10 dollars a day.JULIE Let's give him time to figure it out on his own. MIKE Yeah. SCARLET (LAUGHS) You're serious? You want to help? MIKE Are you kidding? I love landscaping! (MORE) 63. Scarlet I'll give . wipes her bare. Sorry. I'm just a single dad out here blowing like dust in the wind. dirty hands on her jeans. MIKE'S HOUSE/BACKYARD .DAY A dirt covered Scarlet wrestles a roll of sod down.. If the situation gets worse then we'll take the next step. MIKE (o.Mike wanders in. but I just had a manicure. I'm 36 years oldMIKE I'm just doing this to make a few bucks so I can buy Laker tickets. Scarlet laughs. MIKE (CONT'D) It's right up there with watching "Sex and the City" and snuggling.) Got an extra pair of gloves? Scarlet peers over her shoulder. eyes him skepticallySCARLET Mark.
MIKE Deal. Maggie BAWLS loudly. Mike and Scarlet share a laugh. lift a roll together. Mike and Scarlet.. 20. head hidden between her knees. 10 whole dollars.2011. fearing the worst- .. SCARLET Grab a roll. step over to the sod.DAY Mike strolls in. MIKE What are the benefits like here? SCARLET I'll throw in a baloney sandwich. MAGGIE Stan dumped me. INT. sees Mike. follows the sobs through the maze of stacks until he findsMIKE Maggie? -seated on the floor. He takes out a pen. sits at a back table. places the tip to the paper where it says `name' whenWE hear the muffled sound of CRYING. pulls a college application from his knapsack.MIKE Wow. At that rate I should be able to buy tickets in. quickly dries her eyes. carry it over to the spot. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/LIBRARY . looks up. Mike panics. Maggie 64. Mike rises. Fine. MAGGIE What do you want? To rub it in my face? Say I told you so? MIKE You lost me? Maggie drops her head back between her knees.
that's why he dumped me! Maggie bawls again.do. MAGGIE Do what? MIKE That thing... Stan came over with a box ofMike slaps his palms over his ears. calms- MIKE When you're young everything seems like the end of the world. I can't Maggie takes Mike's shirt. MAGGIE My mom was working last night. .. BLOWS her nose on it.. big trouble! MAGGIE What am I going to do? live without him.. awkwardly pats her on the back. Maggie sobs uncontrollably.MIKE What happened? What did he do? You didn't. MIKE There.. It's okay.. there now. Mike silently celebrates. Mike takes a deep breath. But it's not. Which is more than I can say for any other man in my life. It's just the beginning. sits beside her.you know..that rabbits do a lot of and that a girl your age should never do and should only do when she's married.. 65. did you two.. MIKE Maggie. MIKE Your next word better be `cookies' or you're in big. Sex? MAGGIE No. MAGGIE Sure he was a jerk but he was there for me.
DAY Maggie solves a difficult problem on the board. A moment he's never had with his daughter..And you might have to meet a few more jerks. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE . ANGLE ON Maggie's face.DAY Mike and Scarlet settle the limestone rocks into the freshly laid sod creating a walkway. while running through a maze of cones. EXT.DAY Alex dribbles. BASKETBALL COURT . using both hands.NIGHT Lights shine down. More misses than hits. EXT. MONTAGE OF LIFE EXT. Adam's chagrin.like the sun rises and sets with you. much to Mr. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/CALCULUS CLASS .DAY She's SMITTEN. Mike makes him start again. Maggie turns from the chalkboard and smiles flirtatiously at Mike. hugs him tight. INT. Shoots and moves. 66. Alex stands behind the 3 point line. Mike feeds him balls. Mike hugs her back. Maggie throws her arms around Mike. . Whenever he messes up. MAGGIE You really think so? MIKE I know so. Alex shoots and moves. but one day you'll meet a boy who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. INT. MAGGIE You're so sweet. Stan catches this exchange and pops the back of Mike's head. BASKETBALL COURT . MIKE'S HOUSE/BACKYARD ..
A close up of perfect CLEAVAGE. EXT. Alex...DAY Mike.. pulls out his phone. the Bras and a slew of KIDS hang by Mike's Aston. INT. He's confused until-Mike turns a little more in his seat. Mike and Ed sit before a stern Julie. Mike and Alex high 5. chases her.the Wonder Bras text on their phones. Alex bounces the ball off his head. MIKE'S HOUSE/BACKYARD . She turns. Maggie. They sit.and does it perfectly.DAY Mike and Scarlet lug an ornate. MIKE'S HOUSE/DRIVEWAY . spins back around. EXT.. Mike opens it.TRAUMATIZED.MAGGIE smiles seductively at him. EXT. 67. dribbling from hand to hand. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/CALCULUS CLASS . blows a kiss.DAY Mike teaches Alex the cross over dribble. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/PARKING LOT .DAY Scarlet fills holes with plants then waters them with a hose.. Scarlet picks up the hose. Mike peeks over his shoulder. INT.DAY Alex scampers through the maze of cones. Stan. finds Mike SLEEPING in the grass.. Scarlet casually removes it. Mike checks her out as she goes back in the house. A PIX MESSAGE. MIKE'S HOUSE/BACKYARD . Mike leaps up. Scarlet brings the boys water. Mike GASPS. Mike casually places a hand on Scarlet's leg. wooden bench to it's spot.. TURNS IT ON HIM.DAY A muffled buzz. Nicole. EXT. EXT. BASKETBALL COURT .DAY . Mike reaches into his pocket..Again. Jazz and Kevin are all that's left by Stan's Mustang. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/GYM .
. Mike goes for the ball.. Coach Harvey. Game over. As Alex passes Harvey. Wider reveals Alex following through. Mike smiles. Mike and Ed sit before Julie. Mike misses. shakes his head. Steals.a goo goo eyed Maggie. A final 3 pointer by Mike in Stan's face seals the deal.. The Team and the Hopefuls huddle around Coach Harvey. Alex dribbles up to Mike. COACH HARVEY That makes 11-3.DAY CLOSE ON a ball going through the hoop. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/HALL . FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/GYM . Alex catches. fancy passes and scoring. Nicole and the Bras watch the game of half court. picks. Mike startles and RUNS. He and Mike tap fists. Alex shoots and weCUT TO: INT.3 detentions.A game of 1 on 1. Harvey stops himCOACH HARVEY (CONT'D) You've gotta little bit of your old man in you. Mike rapidly feeds him balls. INT... 68.. Alex crosses over. Maggie chases. shuts the door revealing. Mike and Alex school Stan and Jazz. a number of HOPEFULS. COACH HARVEY (CONT'D) . Alex pulls up. The Coach watches with awe. Maggie.DAY Alex stands behind the 3 point line. Ed chokes back crocodile tears. Mike passes the last ball. BASKETBALL COURT . FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE . 2 on 2. shoots and moves. She hands Ed a slip of paper. Mike and Alex.they're all going in. This time. Mike crouches in a defensive stance. O'Donnell.DAY Mike places books in his locker.DAY Again. Gather up. shoots and scores. Stan and Jazz vs. INT. It's TRY-OUTS. INT.
MIKE You just look so . The Hopefuls trudge out of the gym. he GAZES longingly. I don't know where you came from but you just made my year.Scarlet turns. he pauses.. As he passes a half open door. Honey! 69. Coach INT. I'm sorry.NIGHT Alex rushes through the door.. facing away. MIKE'S HOUSE/KITCHEN . MIKE I got'a use the bathroom. The rest of you hit the showers.NIGHT ALEX Mom! Mom! SCARLET (o. WE follow Mike down the hall.) I'll be right out.As you all know due to the amount of seniors coming back I only have 2 open spots on the roster.lost in her beauty until. hugs Nicole.... It's Freedman and O'Donnell. We did it! MIKE You killed it out there! Alex runs over. INT. MIKE'S HOUSE . Mark! Alex leaps into the air.s.no. Wooo! ALEX We did it. shakes out her long hair.. lovingly.. Harvey puts an arm around himCOACH HARVEY Son.Scarlet.. startlesSCARLET Mark? I didn't know you were there. peeks in. Mike watches. Mike and Maggie follow. beautiful. Mike beams with pride. pulls a shirt over her nude back. Maggie slaps Mike's butt.
. I'm very different than the others. SCARLET Thank you.. MIKE Maggie. idiot. So different that you and I can never be. shaking his headMIKE (CONT'D) Stupid.. MIKE Can I zip you up? SCARLET I'm wearing a sweater. MIKE Your jeans? Scarlet walks towards him and. stupid. MIKE That's right! I'm not like the others. listen to me. person you think. Maggie backs Mike against the wall. 70. shuts the door. You're not like the others. I'm not the MAGGIE Shhh. MAGGIE Shhh. He whirls around.Scarlet blushes. Maggie slips in behind him.. you are.NIGHT Mike enters.. I get it now. the nice things you said in the library. .it's been a while since she's heard that.shuts the door on him. Mike wanders to the bathroom. what. MIKE Maggie.. steps over to the toilet. MIKE'S HOUSE/BATHROOM .. Maggie places a finger on his lips. Why you didn't want me to be with Stan..SLAM. You're a good guy.. Yes. It's because you wanted me... INT..
. INT. Now(eyes the toilet) -if you don't mind? 71. Finally gets itAre MIKE What? No-no-no-no. ALEX I have to tell him about Alex Mike enters. Stops. and Maggie look to Mike.. MIKE'S HOUSE/KITCHEN ."confused"? MIKE Yes! Yes! That's it..BEEP.. MAGGIE Ohmygod! It all makes sense now! Your hair.NIGHT Alex types on his phone.BEEP.. looks quizzically at MikeMAGGIE What are you trying to say? you. Mike nods.. I'm confused. you don't. Maggie switches back into predatory mode... The highlights. Mike checks his phone... MAGGIE Tell your girlfriend she better keep a close eye on you. today. MAGGIE Who is it? Does she go to our school? Do I know her? MIKE No. Maggie smiles seductively and struts out. Extremely confused..Maggie stops. Mike starts to speak. MIKE Who you texting? My dad. I'm. HIS PHONE.I've been in love with the same girl since I was 17.then realizes. I'm not gay.
My dad. it's sick. unable to contain her excitement.NIGHT The 3 step outside. It's Ed. MIKE'S HOUSE/BACKYARD . takes picture . So? me. MIKE You hung the lights! SCARLET I wanted you to be the first to see it. SCARLET (CONT'D) Ta da! Thousands of tiny. SCARLET Oh my God. Not your dad. ALEX Mom. It's a SCARLET (CONT'D) I'm so happy for you. white lights illuminate Scarlet's OASIS. SCARLET What happened? Tell me.. I'll just call him back. Scarlet enters.ALEX (CONT'D) Did you just get a text? MIKE (NERVOUS) Me? No. She looks AMAZING. Scarlet. bittersweet moment for him. I'm dying to hear. 72. The first Mike watches. EXT. Alex! That's so incredible! Scarlet wraps Alex in a big hug. Yes. Tell ALEX I did it.. leads Mike and Alex to the french doors and flicks a light switch. And now I want to show you guys something.. I'm a Falcon! game's in 2 weeks. Mike. truly blown away.. I mean dad.
I am. Scarlet moves Mike aside..with his iPhone. he I MIKE Let's see who the lucky guy is. MIKE It's amazing. SCARLET (BEAMS) Thank you.. blocks it. Really.. have a date. steps in front of her.NIGHT Mike marches in behind Scarlet. Off Mike's stunned reaction. ALEX Mom. I'm flattered. MIKE (CONT'D) I knew you had a thing for him! You can't do this! You took vows. 73. doorway holding a bouquet. opens the door. Mike swings the door open revealing. I'm speechless. CUT TO: INT. I almost forgot. MIKE (CONT'D) I knew it! SLAM.I mean when people see this and how talented you are you'll be designing sanctuaries all over the city.Dom Johnson. I'm sorry I never saw how talented you are. why are you all dressed up? SCARLET Oh my God. What kind of example are you setting for the kids!? SCARLET Mark. Mike shuts the door.. Dom stands in the . As they reach the door. MIKE'S HOUSE/FOYER . But I'm too old for you.
Dom imitates humping. Dom looks to Mike- DOM (CONT'D) Hey. She deserves to be happy. need to talk to her. An agitated 74. You ALEX My mom's been pretty sad the past few months.if the vans'a rockin'. SCARLET Don't mind him. You look absolutely ravishing.. Scarlet heads for the van.DOM Wow. You all set? DOM Let's do it.. Mike enters.. My dad obviously is. INT. MIKE Don't you lay a finger on her...wherever he is. ALEX It's weird to think about my mom with someone other than my dad. Johnson! I know where you live! Mike slams the door. pulls up a seat at the counter.well you know the rest. kid. MIKE Maybe he's not? Maybe he wishes he could be here right now with you .NIGHT A contemplative Alex scoops lasagna onto plates. MIKE'S HOUSE/KITCHEN .. jogs after Scarlet. MIKE It's adultery! If this were Afghanistan she'd be dragged through the village by goats. Casanova. MIKE Keep it in your pants.
. (BEAT) You're not gonna wear that. ED What about college? MIKE I'm not going. ED (CONT'D) (o.s.he looks ridiculous.DAY Mike paces in front of a dressing room. GUCCI STORE .) . I need to change back. I just want my family back. My son doesn't think I like him and my daughter's in love with me. Mike is CRUSHED. 75. Ed steps from the changing room wearing very tight.but there's a real good reason he can't be. ED Baby's got back. the door. INT. This is dumb but I used to tell him I was on the basketball team because I knew he'd never make it to a game. ALEX No. Ed. ultra hip clothes that belong on a 20 year old. are you? Ed checks his butt in a full length mirror. MIKE Then why would you tell him that? ALEX I guess I was hoping it would make him like me more. my dad's not a family guy. Ed retreats into the changing room.. A SALESMAN waits by MIKE My wife's moving on. I'll be a pharm rep til I die. nods happily.
Sir! SALESMAN Please! Mike and Ed. MIKE Listen to you. puke in the pool. I need you to start behaving. They each let go. it's not cool. 76. I want to have some kids over tonight to celebrate Alex making the team. MIKE Fine.. hands the clothes to the Salesman.. Other SHOPPERS eye Ed oddly as they pass.Now that Julie's agreed to go out with me tonight. kids peeing everywhere. both still titty twisting. You sound like an old man. Ed. ED No party. steps from the room. Mike grabs Ed's bare tits and TWISTS. me take the car away. Is that cool? Ed. I can't have her thinking my son is a complete degenerate.Dad! .son! MIKE Not even close. Ed screams. force smiles. ED Wrap it up. look up. Don't make MIKE Don't treat me like a child. grabs Mike's tits and TWISTS. I remember hearing what those parties were like.. wearing only his banana hammock underwear and socks. food on the ceilings. Everyone in the store stares. I mean it. Both of them HOWL in pain.. ED I won't when you stop acting like one. ED This isn't over. No.
7. MIKE'S TEXT Party at my house 2nite. 77. CUT TO: INT.. SAMANTHA Dance with us! The Bras drag a reluctant Mike out of the kitchen and into - . WIDE REVEALS.DAY The Wonder Bras stand by their lockers when their phones beep. Mike pulls out his iPhone. Sexy. ED'S HOUSE/KITCHEN . Mike turns without thinking SPRAYING all 3 Wonder Bras in the face..the beeps of hundreds of cell phones. Kids raid the refrigerator.NIGHT MAYHEM. MIKE Give me that! WONDER BRAS (O. MIKE I'm so sorry.S. grabs the sink head from the Kid. the word out.. It's a RAGER.hundreds of students. grab Mike's hands.. throw food around. EXT.. ED'S HOUSE . Mike replaces the nozzle. Mike rushes in. The Bras scream... begins texting. INT.Ed stomps into the dressing room rubbing his sore boobs. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/HALL . simultaneously hit SEND. Have you seen Alex? The Bras wipe themselves off.) Hey. A steady flow of KIDS stream towards the front door. Another KID sprays the room with the removable sink head.TEXT MESSAGE. MUSIC pounds from within.NIGHT CARS line the street. Get The Bras type away..
I'm sorry. STAN I was upset. And then.not sure whether to laugh or join in. But I need you to show me you love me.. Party-Goers stop what they're doing and watch. ED'S HOUSE/POOL . EXT. just got hotter.INT.a remix version of Hammer's `Can't Touch This' blares. ED'S HOUSE/LIVING ROOM . places his hands on her boobsJAMIE Perfect. . Mike inconspicuously Hammer walks his way out of the mix and outside. Then we'll move in together. 78. Stan chases after her.NIGHT PARTY-GOERS dance everywhere and on top of everything. each girl grinding on him as if it were a competition. turns him towards herLAUREN Nambib-bib-ib. The Bras back up. that African country makes me horny. MIKE I thought you girls wanted to dance? Mike breaks into the 80's Hammer routine WE saw from the first scene. twists him aroundSAMANTHA Which one of us is it gonna be? Mike tries to squeeze out.. the Bras fall in. The Bras block him. aren't they? Samantha pulls Mike roughly by the hair. Followed by others. Jamie spins Mike towards her.. The party Maggie runs through the party and out the back. The music changes.NIGHT Stan corners Maggie against the back wall. The Bras surround Mike. Lauren takes Mike by the face..
Whatever. Mr. Ed hands the Hostess a 50. now. Ed wears his new Gucci outfit. Stan. UPSCALE RESTAURANT/DINING ROOM . Mike. Julie's under dressed. throws a giant uppercut. Stan turns angrily toward Mike as he approaches. Freedman. MIKE On second thoughtMike SWINGS.NIGHT The HOSTESS shows Ed and Julie to their table by the window. MIKE Party's over. Julie rolls her eyes. You're out of STAN Who's gonna make me leave? You? MIKE I would but it smells like you've been drinking so I'll let the cops do it. Mike's eyes roll back in his head and WE cut to BLACK. . Mike pulls out his phone. Put this towards your studies. MAGGIE I'm with someone else STAN Yeah. put out anyway. INT. here. She doesn't 79. POW. Stan ducks. HOSTESS There you are. right. ED Thanks. laughsStan looks to Maggie then back to STAN You can have the nun. Who'd be stupid enough? MAGGIE Him.
Ed. leaves. ED (CONT'D) You're going to love this wine. This isn't a date. did you? ED Do you like caviar? Because if you do you have to try the Almas. Ed. . Maybe he's gay? JULIE You didn't ask me here to talk about Mark. So tell me what you think's going on with Mark? ED It's baffling really but I noticed he's been drinking a lot of diet ice tea lately. ED Are you insinuating that I'd use my son's misfortune just to go out with you? What kind of a father do you think I am? JULIE As long as we're on the same page. Would you care to see the wineED Bring us the 1962 Petrus. JULIE You're disgusting. Julie throws her napkin on the table. A WAITER approaches. WAITER Good evening. 80. JULIE I don't drink. 100 year-old Beluga. $2000 dollars a bottle. $700 per ounce. The Waiter nods.JULIE When you asked me to get together to talk about Mark this isn't what I envisioned.
All you're concerned with is proving to me how wealthy you are. Instead it made you just like them. Julie begrudgingly sits back down. ED I do care about Mike.. You ED Would the caviar and expensive wine impress you if you were on a yacht off Monte Carlo? JULIE I came here because I'm concerned about the wellbeing of your son but you don't care about Mark. JULIE I'm not some 22 year-old who you can impress with caviar and expensive wine. (MORE) 81. Ed? I'm sure when you were the guy the boys picked on and the girls ignored you were really sweet.NIGHT CLOSE ON Mike's face..ED What? You don't like Beluga? can get something else. I'm sorry. I'm acting like an idiot.Mark. JULIE You know what's too bad. Whatever his name is. You're right. Mike stirs awake. ED'S HOUSE/MIKE'S BEDROOM . Ed takes her wrist. JULIE (CONT'D) But you thought becoming rich would solve all your problems. Please stay. ED Wait. I have to go. smiles. Julie rises. INT. JULIE Act normal or I'm leaving. A hand gently strokes his head. eyes still closed- . eyes shut.
Maggie ROARS. EXT. scrambles to the other side of the room and behind a chair. I'm your father. Mike dodges. Maggie. Daddy. WIDER reveals Mike and Maggie on the bed.NIGHT Alex and Nicole sit closely by a fire pit. places her hand on Alex's leg. let's play. both staring at one another.) Scarlet!? Mike's eyes pop open. laughing. Maggie dives across the bed. moves in.. Alex imitates Mrs. runs out the door. Nicole laughs. Nicole closes her eyes.THE MOMENT. I was 17 again and back in high school. MIKE Wait! This is highly inappropriate and dysfunctional. Cruz. Listen to me. Alex moves in then FREAKS. chases Mike around the room. MAGGIE (CONT'D) You wanna play? Okay. I'm the hungry lioness and you're a baby gazelle. ScarletMAGGIE (o. Mike JUMPS off the bed.s. Cruz? Every time she rolls her r's she spits all over me. 82. stalks Mike around the bed. bad girl. It was horrible. Maggie growls. ED'S HOUSE/BACKYARD .MIKE I had the craziest dream. Alex looks down at her hand. He bounds out of his chair. MAGGIE And I've been a bad. sprints inside leaving Nicole hanging. ALEX How about Mrs.. Mike's head rests on Maggie's lap. Maggie leaps off the bed. then up at her. .
close your eyes and kiss her. The rest happens naturally. Have you ever kissed a girl before? ALEX Not a real one. All you have to do is take her face in your hands gently like THIS83. Mike and Alex quickly separate. sees Mike romantically holding Alex's face. A BOY walks past. you know.forget it.NIGHT A distraught Alex pushes his way through the insanity. MIKE How did you find. ED'S HOUSE .. I blew it! it! Blew what? I totally blew He MIKE What happened? ALEX She wanted me to kiss her but I panicked. It's easy. pitch a tent? MIKE If you feel it.INT. you know. I used to practice on my dad's Playboys. MIKE (CONT'D) -hold her still as you adjust your head. ALEX What if I. BOY That is so wrong. Mike places a hand gently on either side of Alex's face.. getting . ALEX Mike. I didn't know if I should close my eyes or which way to turn my head or how much tongue I'm supposed to useMIKE Slow down. finds Mike running down the stairs.
Mike pulls out his phone. And when Alex Text message. Mike ducks. Now go get that kiss.NIGHT Mike sprints down the hall. 911. Alex takes a deep breath. clothes on the floor. BEEP.NIGHT A determined Alex marches over to the seated Nicole. ALEX Nicole. I didn't mean toBefore she can finish Alex's hands are on her face and his lips on hers. It's as if time stands still. 84. ED'S HOUSE/HALLWAY . INT. EXT. BEEP. Mike races up. JAMIE You can have all 3 of us. steps outside.angry. throws open the door to findINT.NIGHT Mike watches his son's MAGICAL FIRST KISS. ED'S HOUSE/MASTER BEDROOM .NIGHT Samantha. SAMANTHA We decided not to make you choose. mastr b-room. Jamie and Lauren in the bed. ED'S HOUSE . SAMANTHA'S TEXT ^stairs. An angry Maggie storms down them. take a step back. . Alex. takes a step back. Mike rushes to the stairs. A legend making moment. Mike laughs. Maggie passes. Nicole standsNICOLE I'm sorry. The chance of a lifetime. INT. ED'S HOUSE/BACKYARD .
Level 15. JULIE No. exits.. I had the whole costume. JULIE Tis I! Elf Princess Ariala of Jamroar.. really. (catches her breath. Mike turns. suddenly serious) Hark! Who goes there? ED (UNSURE) Tis I. No wonder I didn't get a date all through high school. SAMANTHA Was he crying? INT. Put your clothes back on. And who might you be fair maiden? 85. UPSCALE RESTAURNT . The Wizard they call Marius. shakes it out. no. On the way out WE actually hear SNIFFLING. Bitch! They stare at each other incredibly turned on. ED NO WAY! YES WAY! JULIE ED Level 10. I used to go everywhere dressed like a wizard. I don't.probably only last 10 seconds anyway. Annnnd you think I'm the biggest nerd ever. Ed screamsED Check please! . if I was 20 years younger I'd. Free to be herself.MIKE (looks sadly at the Bras) Girls.NIGHT Julie laughs hysterically. Julie lets her hair down. ED God's honest truth. JULIE Mage.
Come on.NIGHT Ed and Julie drive through the upscale neighborhood.. ED'S HOUSE/POOL . FERRARI .NIGHT CLOSE ON a Heavy Kid leans over the pool PUKING.. MIKE He does and she's really cute. MIKE I'm so dead. mafia. MIKE (CONT'D) Scarlet. MIKE (CONT'D) Oh no! Mike rushes over to her. he's fine. Mike turns. He's with his SCARLET Alex has a girlfriend? 86. JULIE How did you get your hands on the 5th edition? That's not due out for another three years. ED I have two words for you. finds SCARLET making her way through the crowd. Is he here? MIKE Yeah.Mike beside him while Kids cheer the Heavy Kid on. It's past his curfew and he wasn't picking up his phone. what are you doing here? SCARLET I'm looking for Alex. Wider. JULIE Russian . INT. Mike leads Scarlet away from the pool.EXT. girlfriend.
ED'S HOUSE . Ed stops a GIRL. Julie WHISTLES loudly. . He fishtails around a corner. One BOY urinates in a flower bed. INT. A furious Ed screams87. Cars pack Ed's street and driveway. stomp around on the furniture. loud room. Boys and girls trample the front lawn. ED'S HOUSE/LIVING ROOM . SPLAT. ED Do you know where Mark Freedman is? GIRL I think I saw him go outside. ED Everybody out! Nobody flinches. calls outKID It's Ms. jumps out.now! The Kids BEELINE for the door.Drive faster. EXT. A slice of pizza falls from the ceiling onto Ed's head. A KID Run! All the Kids on the lawn SCATTER in different directions. The Girl laughs. Kids dance. JULIE This party is over! If you don't want to spend the next 3 months in detention you will leave..NIGHT Ed storms up the driveway. spies Julie. exits. He steps on the gas. Marius. ED That little-! I'll kill him! Ed double parks the car. Get out! Get out! The Kids stop.. Goodwin! Julie hurries after him. JULIE (CONT'D) Calm thyself.NIGHT Ed and Julie enter the crowded.
SCARLET (CONT'D) It's been so good for him to have you around. He gave up a lot for me. peek around the corner. EXT. Could I be any more embarrassing? And how many amazing mothers run their kids' father off? MIKE Hey.INT.. Maggie scowls. The Bras chase. Don't blame yourself for his stupidity. I should've been more supportive. I showed up at a party to drag my son home. Scarlet and Mike step back by the pool. bumps into the Bras. You have no idea. I mean look at me. more sympathetic to what he was going through.NIGHT Maggie enters. He's a great kid. MAGGIE Have you seen Mark? SAMANTHA We're looking for him too. I do. SCARLET I knew he was unhappy. Maggie and . MIKE That's bull shit! You.. confident.NIGHT Mike and Scarlet hide behind the pool house. ED'S HOUSE/BACKYARD . you didn't run him off. Alex is animated. weeds through the crowd. And you're an amazing mother. SCARLET I'm not so sure. 88. SCARLET He's like a totally different person. I knew he hated his job. MIKE Believe me. heads for the back door. sit on a lounge. ED'S HOUSE/KITCHEN . spy on Alex and Nicole by the fire pit.
hand in hand. SAMANTHA Who's the ho? MAGGIE Mom? ANGLE..Alex and Nicole. just calm down.. It's perfect.. JAMIE He's over there. ALEX What's my mom doing here? By the pool. I have something to tell you but I need you to keep an open mind. SCARLET (CONT'D) What do you think you're doing!? Mike scrambles to his feet.. Mike leans in and KISSES HER.him. There's just something so familiar. MIKE Scar.. Scarlet smiles thankfully at Mike.. She's vulnerable. He was just too selfish to recognize it.PASSIONATELY. Mike falls off the chair. ANGLE. Can you do that for me? SCARLET This conversation is over.Maggie and the Bras roam the backyard searching for Mike. 89.. stroll back towards the house when Alex freezesWhoa.. SSSSSLAP... Scarlet leaps up.Alex are the best thing that ever happened to me.Scarlet places a hand over Mike's. that's how I see it. I have no idea why I'm telling you all this. At least. He loves her.. ANGLE. Mark.. MIKE . Scarlet looks into Mike's eyes. SCARLET You're sweet. Mike stares back.
Mike.him. Alex and Nicole march past. SLAP.I'm not Mark. I'm the father of your children.your husband. Mike on her heels 90. SCARLET I'm not in the mood for games. MIKE It's no game. Scar. institutionalized. I'll have you arrested or better yet. Maggie lights him up. I'm me. The Bras add theirs on the way out. wait. MIKE Let me explain. Let me explainALEX How could you do this to me? . SCARLET Your son needs a shrink! Scarlet storms off.. SLAP.. runs for the house.. You have to believe me. It's me. Before Mike can protestMAGGIE MIKE Alex. As she passes Ed and Julie. SCARLET Don't ever come near me or my family again. SLAP. If you do. pleading. Alex pulls it away. Pervert! Mike turns. Scarlet winces as if dealt a blowWhat? SCARLET Why would you say that? MIKE It's the truth... Scarlet marches towards the house.. Mike reaches for Alex's arm. SLAP.
Julie strides for the house. grabs Mike. Ed ED This place is a disaster! A kid pissed all over my English garden! What were you thinking!? MIKE She hates me. have a son. I've ruined Julie looks quizzically to Ed. ED Should I call you?! EXT. . I don't Ed looks like he's about to cry. INT. you disown him? He'd be better off with his mother in Thailand. JULIE Mark's obviously having a crisis and you. ED'S HOUSE . Ed yells after her- No signs of a party. everything.MORNING All is normal. Mike lowers his head. I don't quite know how to put this. SLAP. ED Oh boy. JULIE Try being honest.. stomps over.MORNING Ed knocks and knocks on Mike's bedroom door.. Ed.you insensitive bastard. ED He's not really my son. Mike runs for the house. takes a deep breath. 91.Alex whisks Nicole into the house. ED'S HOUSE/HALLWAY . JULIE Who hates him? What's going on? Ed shifts uncomfortably.
INT. WE hear a dragging sound then. ED'S HOUSE/MIKE'S BEDROOM . ED Jesus. ED (CONT'D) Are you alright? MIKE I really messed up. ED (CONT'D) -you're due in court in an hour. Ed sits on the bed.. . It smells like Jeffrey Dahmer's kitchen in here. that? ED That's lost. ED That's not true. family. Ed pulls up the blinds.Come on. up. for any damages. Nothing's ever MIKE What about you and Julie? Oh.CLICK. Open Ed turns the knob. opens the door. ED It's been 2 days. rolls away from the light. I've lost my 92. I'll pay MIKE Sorry about the party. enters. A disheveled. ED Don't worry about it. truly lost. I don't mean to rub salt in your wounds butEd holds up the manila envelope of divorce papers. Mike climbs back into bed. A look of determination comes over Mike's face.MORNING Dark. Ed waves at the air.. Mike groans. opens the windows. My spa guy got the last of the vomit out of the pool so we're good.
her right hand raised as she's sworn in. LOS ANGELES COURT HOUSE/COURTROOM . LOS ANGELES COURT HOUSE . Scarlet stands before the JUDGE. rips across a neighbor's lawn then back onto the road and off. fishtailing onto the street. Is this correct? SCARLET Yes. your Honor. ED'S HOUSE . your honor. The Judge eyes her papers. You're not asking for alimony or child support? JULIE No. EXT. Scarlet sits beside her ATTORNEY. LOSES CONTROL. JUDGE You've requested a divorce by the State of California citing irreconcilable differences. 93. Mike and . tears down the driveway.EXT. Let's proceed.DAY The BMW roars out of the garage. JUDGE Then I take his absence as agreement to the orders of the divorce. INT. your Honor.DAY Ed's BMW skids to a stop in front of the building.DAY Crowded pews. BAILIFF -the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God? SCARLET I do. JUDGE Is Michael O'Donnell or his representative present? SCARLET (SADLY) No. Ed driving.
JUDGE Are you a lawyer. Good job.Ed bound out. race up the court stepsED What exactly are we doing? MIKE I don't know.DAY JUDGE The mother will have full custody of the children. The father will have visitation rights of one weekend a month94..what are you. your Majesty. All turn to see Mike and Ed ED I declare a mistrial on the grounds of insufficient evidence and Sacco and Vanzetti! Scarlet can only shake her head.. LOS ANGELES COURT HOUSE/COURTROOM .. INT. SCARLET He's my husband's best friend. BOOM. best friend? ED No but I have been a defendant in numerous lawsuits soJUDGE Bailiff! Get these 2 out of my .. JUDGE Sacco and. storm down the aisle..who are you!? ED I am legal counsel for Mike O'Donnell and I demand a stay of execution for this marriage. The doors burst open. We just need to stop her from going through with it! ED A well thought out plan.
And as I stand here. unaffected way that way only a 17 year-old kid can have.not in a psycho way but in that beautiful.not in a psycho kinda way but in that beautiful. Mike wiggles free.. 95. MIKE Your Honor! I have a letter from Mike O'Donnell. (READS) September 7th. The Bailiff grabs Mike and a yelling Ed. But I was never lost.. You were reading `The Great Gatsby' and wearing a Guns N Roses T-shirt. butSCARLET If it's okay. Just let me read it. 1988 was the first time I saw you..courtroom. to hear it. And then I grew up. your Honor.. I'd just forgotten the way life makes you forget as you grow older. Please.as I write this. I want you to know if I don't have you I'll die. Mike digs into his pocket. runs back to the front. . JUDGE I'm sorry. pulls out a piece of paper. And at that dance you said you loved me. You whispered you loved me at the homecoming dance and I felt so peaceful and safe because I knew no matter what happened from that night on nothing could ever be that bad because I had you.. JUDGE Make it quick. drags them toward the exit. your Honor. I'd like MIKE Thank you. lost my way and blamed you for my failures.. innocent. And I never failed at anything because on that September day you said `yes' to me. I remember thinking I had to have you or I'd die. I'd never seen anything so perfect.
.. She looks back confused. Ed. looks over to Scarlet.S.. walks down the aisle and out the door.I need to postpone. ED You know what this means? You need to let them go. .DIRECTIONS TO THE COURTHOUSE.. tears streaming down her cheeks. I'm 96.... stops.. JUDGE (CONT'D) Let's proceed... MIKE What are you talking about? ED According to the website once you've learned your lesson you'd turn back.sadness. Sir. son.oh and.. you have to go now.recognition? JUDGE Alright. INT. BMW CONVERTIBLE .. in no shape. SCARLET Your Honor. Mike places the PAPER ON THE TABLE..I'm `Hungry Like the Wolf'.innocent. ED Maybe it wasn't a spell of enlightenment. Mike looks to Ed. Mike nods. picks up Mike's `letter'.. A tearful Scarlet starts to leave. I'm sorry. unaffected way only a 17 year old kid can have..P.I'm sorry. Scarlet just stares at him..DAY A solemn Mike stares out the window. MIKE Enough with the magic crap. That speech should've broken the spell. You need to let them get on with their lives and Ed turns the radio off..
Scarlet smiles... The noise of an incoming email. shoots. throws his duffel into the Aston.you need to get on with yours. INT. "I think this will help your business.DUSK Mike works on his laptop. grabs balls from a hopper and rapidly shoots.downloads pictures.MARK FREEDMAN. turns to the coach. ED'S HOUSE/MIKE'S BEDROOM . pulls out of the driveway. . Mike unplugs the iPhone.SWISH. SWISH. Automatic. plugs his iPhone into it. Scarlet reads Mike's email then clicks on the link. She clicks over. ED'S HOUSE . FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/GYM . packs his Falcons uniform into a duffel bag.NIGHT An empty gym. Mike moves to the bed. Best of luck.`Scarlet's Sanctuaries'..DUSK Scarlet sits at the kitchen table working on her laptop. A web site pops up.... MIKE'S HOUSE/KITCHEN . Freedman. COACH HARVEY Hey. Coach Harvey enters. EXT. See you at the game. save some for the game. Mike stands feet beyond the 3 point line. Mike climbs into the car..DUSK Mike steps outside. INT.. types an email to Scarlet.because he knows Ed is right. exits the house.. Mark" Mike hits send. Ed 97. Mike chokes back tears. ED Where you going? MIKE I'm moving on.. A BEEP.. grabs his bag and exits.SWISH. Mike sinks one last jumper. INT.. shoots.
LATER A POPULAR SONG rocks the gymnasium. 98. you can play anywhere you want. CHEERLEADERS dance on the sidelines. I haven't seen anyone with your shooting ability in. in a long time. Alex moves away from Mike. On the opposite end. climb the bleachers. STUDENTS and PARENTS cheer wildly from the packed stands. the Falcons run a pass and shoot drill. The rest of the Falcons basketball team jogs out from the locker room followed by a PHOTOGRAPHER. Mike sees Scarlet and Maggie enter. join Nicole and the Wonder Bras. `FITCH FALCONS. He smiles apologetically to them.to watch you. MIKE That's the plan. On one end of the court. MAGGIE (to Scarlet) . Coach Harvey hands Mike a towel. 2008.. Julie gabs with a group of TEACHERS.. They're coming to the game tonight.' PHOTOGRPAHER 3. Both turn away. 1FLASH. COACH HARVEY Son. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/GYM . A PLAYER kneeling in front holds a sign. COACH HARVEY Round up. I called a couple college scouts I know. well.MIKE Just warming up. a TEAM in BLUE shoots around. Jock Straps! Picture time. And with the flash WE cut to: INT. 2. Coach. Coach. The Team assembles in the middle of the court. If you have half the season I think you're capable of.
Alex looks down. makes his way over to her. Julie can't help but smile.Coach Harvey claps loudlyCOACH HARVEY Alright. I'm sorry. MIKE I never meant to hurt youALEX Then why'd you kiss my mom!? 99. Alex standsALEX You're lucky I don't punch you out. sizes Ed up...I just really want to play D & D with you. ED Julie. sits next to Alex. takes another seat. bring it in! The Falcons swarm the bench. ANGLE.not you.. I'm your fa. And maybe we'll never be there but.I don't know. Mike takes a deep breath. take their seats. MIKE Alex.I thought he was hanging out with Alex to get to me... MIKE ALEXALEX I have nothing to say to you. Ed? ED I've seen a good friend of mine lose everything that means anything to him. . Alex moves down the line. can I talk to you? Julie excuses herself from the Teachers. Ladies.. Ed strides through the door spots Julie. JULIE What is it.
.it almost seems to SLOW UP. The Ref readies to toss the ball. COACH HARVEY Let's go! Remember. Boys.. As Mike disappears into the tunnel. He finds Alex on the bench. O'Donnell! in there! Alex leaps off the bench. ED I'll bring my long bow. Mike rushes off the court. Coach Harvey turns to AlexCOACH HARVEY Get off your butt... Mike steps over to AlexMIKE It's your turn now. 100. climbs back down the bleachers and exits the gym.the sound deafening. winners get the girls. WE see the OLD JANITOR amongst the crowd. breath.and walks off the court. Mike looks around the gymnasium. Scarlet abruptly stands. A REFEREE blows his whistle. Mike looks into the stands. The Crowd stomps..NIGHT MIKE Get ...Maggie and Scarlet. REFEREE Son! Come back here! get a delay of game! Mike takes a deep You're gonna COACH HARVEY This can't be happening again... cheers LOUDLY. Losers please themselves! Mike and the Falcons jog onto the court. Good luck. INT. Mike takes his place for the jump ball. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/TUNNEL . He smiles.his hopeful face..JULIE You can raid my dungeon anytime.
picking up their pace the closer they get. Especially Maggie. Mike lowers his head.Scar! The tunnel is EMPTY. Mike wraps his arms around her. Crestfallen.. SCARLET What took you so long? ANGLE ON: Mike and he's 36 years-old again. Scarlet and Mike walk towards one another. ANGLE ON: Scarlet as she appears at the far end of the tunnel. MIKE The best choice I ever made was you. MIKE Don't ask.. THE END . SCARLET How did this happ101. They lock lips. bursting out of his uniform. Mike takes Scarlet's hand and as they walk out of the tunnelMIKE (CONT'D) I think it's best if we don't tell the kids about this.
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