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Enhancing Your Personal Charm
By Maurice Benoit
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction I. II. III. Understanding the Power of Charisma How Charisma’s Spell Works Essential Elements of Charisma Revealed Smile Body Language Good Sense of Humor Friendliness Confidence Being Yourself IV. Enhancing Charisma Physical Charm Intellectual Influence Social Appeal Spiritual Power V. Overconfidence: When Charisma is Not Handled with Care 50 52 37 4 7 10 14
Summary and Conclusion
Have you ever felt being ignored, disregarded, or overlooked? You know other people can hear you, and yet it seems that all the words you’re saying are just entering their right ears and going out of their left ears immediately, without even registering on their minds. They seem to listen, but they don’t believe in what you’re saying. They may not be objecting obviously; but through their actions, you can see that they don’t have any intentions on doing what you have just said. What’s worse is that they would do anything the other person tells them to do…but they would never do the smallest favor for you!
Can you relate to any of the following scenarios? Your mom favors your younger sister more than you. Even if she denies it and says that she loves both of you equally, it shows clearly because she gives your sister everything she asks for; but when it’s your turn to request something, she gives you unending reasons why it’s not the right time to grant you such wishes. Your teacher has his favorite student whom he always asks to monitor the whole class, gives irrational considerations, and allows being late with nothing but lame excuses. Your boss has his favorite employee whom he trusts with confidential matters, goes out with for lunch or dinner, and votes for as candidate of promotions.
Unfair but true, people choose who to like, who to believe, who to follow, and who to love. Admit it. Even you have the same way of appraisal, right? You have your favorite actor, favorite politician, favorite basketball player, favorite teacher, favorite colleague, favorite friend, and the list can go on and on. No matter how
much we deny it, it’s true that we always favor somebody from the rest of the group…even if we’re not aware of it.
Hence, the question is not about whom we choose to like, believe, follow, and love anymore, as there will always be that person, but how we choose him. What are our criteria in picking out a person from a group and learning to appreciate him? Do we make standards as to who to like and hate, who to believe and disagree with, who to follow and disobey, and who to love and loathe?
Usually, we do. For instance, in enrolling for academic classes, don’t we sign up for a professor who is smart but not a “terror,” assigns reasonable requirements, and gives good grades? In applying for a job, we look for high-paying employers who have concern and consideration for their employees’ well-being. And we even set standards for our partners-to-be in life! We want somebody who is Godfearing, responsible, good-looking, intelligent, and so on. Therefore, we look for these people. We exert time and effort to actually find someone who can meet our standards. Once we see them, meet them in person, and actually get to know them, we grab the chance right away and try not to let them go. They are one of a kind, you thought, as the object of your imagination has actually become a reality!
However, there are people who don’t even possess any quality in our standardlist and yet we seem to be attracted to them. They may not be as good-looking as Brad Pitt or Cameron Diaz, or as influential as Bill Gates, but there seems to be an aura around them that tells us, “Believe me. Follow me. I know more than
What you have to do is enhance the charisma hiding inside of you. is that each one of us already has the power of charisma within ourselves! But the thing is. not just admire him. and businesspersons – using their personal magnetic “charm” to expose their talents and career to many people. on the other hand. as much as all of us want to acquire this power of charisma. and the secret you probably don’t know. church leaders. not just look at him. not just recognize him. musicians. and love him. most of them are actors and actresses. listen to him. So. if you constantly feel being rejected and unrecognized by others. Their secret? Personal charm or what is more popularly known as charisma. don’t be discouraged right away. you know. It’s not meant to be hidden forever. This magical and powerful quality of an individual is what makes everyone else notice him. only a few are actually able to fully utilize it.. Sad truth though.. we choose to actually believe and follow them even if they don’t really match our criteria. you can just be yourself and be loved by them just the same. until you’re loved! 6 . Perhaps. they just don’t feel the connection between you and them. Set it free. Instead. you don’t need to adjust to meet other people’s expectation of you. and influencing other people to follow their footsteps. With charisma. The good news. respect him. Use it…until you’re noticed. we may not have developed it fully.you do. not just hear him.” Hence.
we can never just be ordinary. because the people who we ought to deal with in life will need our guidance. and do work. and doesn’t care if nobody misses him if he’s gone. with being yourself. However. decides according to the majority. Don’t we want to give them the best? 7 . the focus will still aim at us. at one point. if you are this type of person. The average person. and love. a spouse. and a boss. As a friend. Hence. we’ll meet friends and special people. get married. then there is no need to improve your personality. have kids and a family of our own. So. reality assures us that at some point in our lives. where the latter is somebody who stands out in the crowd and the former is everybody else. care. And we can never give them these things if we’d stay ordinary for the rest of our lives. then we don’t have to keep going with this. In life. that would not be a problem if you can stay ordinary for the rest of your life. No matter how much we want to stay behind the limelight. we can never avoid being more-than-the-average person. a parent. leadership. which one are you? If you insist to be just an ordinary person. settles with being just an option. right? After all. each one of us will indeed need to become extraordinary. Hence.Chapter 1 Understanding the Power of Charisma There are only two types of people in the society – the ordinary and the extraordinary. hardly recognizable in a crowd. you’re satisfied with being ordinary. is contented with what he has. Actually.
Your physical deficiencies (like shortness in height. because as long as you have charisma. or affection in others by means of personal charm or influence. The Encarta Dictionary (2006) refers charisma as “the ability to inspire enthusiasm. environmental consciousness. you’d stand out and be distinguished that you are you and not like anybody else. And this is where charisma enters. And to be this type of person. it refers to an individual’s personal charm. Charisma includes the appropriate handling of one’s self. 8 . Charisma is more than just the attractiveness of one’s physical appearance. they will never be called deficiencies anymore. Yes. Take note: We do not want to learn how to acquire charisma. it is more than just physical beauty. but how to enhance it. and spiritual awareness among others. but it doesn’t stop on his external features. etc. sociability. enhancing charisma is like a total personality makeover – bringing out the person others can’t see in you. but over-all personality excellence. You may not be as gorgeous as the models on magazines and TV commercials.) should never bother you in any way. proper attitude.” Hence. and yet be the darling of the crowd. you need more than good looks and popularity. super light/dark complexion. interest. chubbiness. that no matter how filled a room is with people. It means being better than the rest in terms of everything they are good at. practicality. Therefore.Being extraordinary means being able to be recognized in a crowd. because each one of us already possesses personal charm within ourselves.
and make use of it. still left hidden inside. what should be done is to actually unleash charisma from within. The power of charisma can do wonders. It can change you from an ordinary to an extraordinary person in no time! 9 .Some of us just haven’t developed it fully yet. Hence. expose it to the outside world.
all that’s left to be done is simply to expose it to other people for them to realize your worth. Once obtained. and allowing you to achieve your ultimate goals and lifetime dreams. when you’re in the hot seat with spotlights focused on you and people’s eyes glued on every movement you make? With all the cheering and screaming. And since all people are already blessed with charisma within them. and famous people can be recognized and given such attention as described above. You don’t have to do anything eccentric just to get other people’s interests. Seems simple? Truth is. letting you take control of things around you.Chapter 2 How Charisma’s Spell Works The power of charisma is more like a spell. it can do magical tricks. So. Do you know the feeling of being the center of attention. it can turn your life around. not only performers on stage. how exactly does charisma’s spell works? Among its many powers are listed below: Charisma can get other people to notice you. Anybody can be noticed. charisma is more than just attracting other people and making them like you. there is no greater feeling than being recognized! Contrary to most people’s mentality. award recipients. we should be noticed! There is not much difference between the people mentioned 10 . beauty pageant contestants. In fact. Being so powerful.
With charisma. minimal efforts will be spent Charisma influences. can be a difficult task to accomplish. but for others as well. To be noticed is already good. It takes a lot for someone to be liked by others. we also deserve to be noticed the same way they are being recognized. To be liked is something much better. people can easily notice you with the aura or personal radiance they see in you. author of The Likeability Factor: How to Boost your LFactor and Achieve your Life’s Dreams. Likeability is an important factor in one’s life as it glues a relationship together through thick and thin. and eventually love you. this won’t be a problem. mentions that someone who is likeable “can give you a sense of joy. We are all created equally. And charisma helps a lot in forming these bonds by making you likeable in the easiest way. Even if you’re not doing anything at all. but with charisma. if you are this person. relaxation or rejuvenation. especially if they don’t trust you. Likeability is actually the start of something great between two or more people.above and us. If people like you. Tim Sanders. anxiety. When you like someone and/or are being liked by him. or boredom. 11 . they will respect you. Charisma can make you likeable. or just by simply being quiet. He or she can bring you relief from depression. you generate positive feelings not just for yourself. a friendship or an intimate relationship can easily exist. happiness. not uttering any word. right? Hence. To influence other people to do or just believe something you say.” Hence.
charisma plays a big part. Be it on a school ground or an executive suite. of a family of our own. Studies show that charismatic people – likeable and friendly – engage more deeply in conversations and participate more in projects and tasks. loyalty. we certainly need influence. “The true meaning of leadership is influence – nothing more. And as leaders of our lives. Charisma brings out confidence.” In developing such influence. nothing less. Maxwell states in his book Leadership 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know. Charisma can bring out the best in you.” famous author John C. It conquers your negative attitudes about yourself and turns them into a more positive outlook. it is wise that you first get other people’s trust in you before they actually adhere to what you say. increasing your over-all self-esteem. and maybe of a company under our control. And getting their trust is not so easy either. developing leadership as well as eliminating misunderstandings from co-workers.Therefore. any performance will improve in the positive environment created by charisma. that people began paying more attention to them. It can give your listeners more reasons to trust you – the fundamental of influence. 12 . but over most people we will be meeting throughout our lives. “If you don’t have influence. People respond with trust. It doesn’t just make you feel good about yourself. not just over ourselves. it actually makes you a better person – from the inside out. you will never be able to lead others. Enhancing charisma is enhancing your over-all personality.
in turn can cause increased heart rate among other ailments. Dr. and cancer. Charisma can bring you a better and healthier lifestyle. they motivate others to get the same results. which eventually leads to anything from high blood pressure to serious heart diseases. respected.” Clearly. Alas! You no longer need to hide yourself in the dark! Setting your personal charm free is like setting yourself free from boring. neglected living. author of the textbook series The Tools for Coping. colitis. people with low self-esteem have lesser defense against stress than those with high self-esteem. and loved. as well. the less stress he suffers. 13 . says. it increases our self-esteem. A perfect lifestyle awaits somebody who is noticed.and that extra bit of effort. “One of the negative side-effects of low self-esteem is that its victims suffer high-stress illness like ulcers. Moreover. And the higher the self-esteem of a person. Stress. liked. high blood pressure. which is a product of charisma. Not only do people with personal charm get the job done right away. James Messina. heart diseases. When we are liked.
will feel good. The person. Do you know that it only takes 14 muscles to smile. Smiling doesn’t mean that you have to put on a phony face all the time or pretend that you are happy. and 74 to frown? Imagine that! A charming. nonverbal signal indirectly showing the willingness to communicate. proper language.Chapter 3 Essential Elements of Charisma Revealed Charisma isn’t as simple as personal charm – basic hygiene. you’re demonstrating that you have noticed a person in a positive manner. there are other elements more essential to learn to be able to complete the power of charisma. yet most refreshing gesture one can do without really exerting so much effort. doesn’t it really make you feel good when you see someone you know? Therefore. will consider it a compliment. you show him something that doesn’t need words or other friendly actions – because a smile is enough. When you smile to somebody. and strong sex appeal. right attitude. Although. and will most likely smile back. on the other hand. Remember: Charisma is more than just physical attractiveness! 1. most inexpensive. pleasant smile is a strong representation of a friendly and welcoming attitude towards another person. However. It is a receptive. 14 . SMILE Smiling is the easiest. glamour is indeed a big part in enhancing that hidden charisma in you.
but the other’s day too. A smile has endless advantages: it brightens not just your day. it lightens the mood. It is actually the easiest and best way to show someone that you’ve noticed him. and dental check-ups. the tongue. Developing That Charming Smile Since the mouth produces a smile. especially during problems and worries. tartar. they will surely see your smile in their minds. reminding them that you have brightened up their day even for a while. it makes you look young. It gives them guarantee that these people know how to see things lightly despite difficulties in life. you should consider good dental health care if you want your smile to be more than just sparkling. and the gums. friendly. and attractive. breath-freshening. and food residues. This way. Hence. People will easily like you for it. but to be healthy as well. and this will make him feel more open to talk to you. They may not remember your name. Therefore. People tend to like those who smile more than those who frown or have no facial expression at all. And since a smile goes a long way. the lips. Dental care includes proper and regular brushing of the teeth. but in the long run. Make sure your teeth are always clean – free from plaque. it comes with the involvement of the teeth. learn to smile at any given chances. A smile indicates general approval towards the other person. proper flossing. when 15 . it is something that people cannot forget about you. sweet. and the smile is one of these.The human face sends out numbers of verbal and nonverbal signals.
they will quickly notice the warmth and glow it adds to your face. Apples. A healthy diet brings a healthy smile and fresh breath.you smile to other people. diseases. Aside from taking care of the body part that is most responsible for producing your smile. or carbonated beverages. it is always safe to maintain the freshness and fragrance of it. but to your over-all charisma as well. They will aid in enzyme production. and discolored teeth. and the natural chewing of the crunchy foods will stimulate the gums. Do you know that Americans consume gallons of soda pop a day? Most are loaded with sugar. This will add. Keep your mouth moist to avoid dryness. soda. Although smiling doesn’t involve the odor of your breath. making you more attractive. Aside from brushing your teeth and tongue. Avoid snacking between meals and remember to brush and floss your teeth after every meal. not just to the smile you are projecting. and not just a blank. which obviously leads to poor dental hygiene. If you must snack. and other crunchy foods are good suggestions. emotionless person. you should also pay attention to your diet. use mouthwash to ensure that your breath smells like heaven. carrots. Don’t be fooled even if the label of the can or 16 . celeries. Water stimulates the production of saliva and keeps it moist all of the time. In addition to this. you must avoid drinking soft drinks. Remember that dry mouth is an indication of dental disease. make them healthy snacks like fresh fruits and vegetables. pears. Do not forget to drink plenty of water. instead of junk foods.
” as it is called. 2.” Even they have huge amounts of acids that are very harmful to the enamel of your teeth. Research has shown that over half face-to-face conversations are nonverbal. think again! A recent study claims that all those popular sports drinks we buy may not be such a good idea after all. and other non-cola beverages increase the risk of damage by anywhere from 3 to 11 times! These drinks can never replace water. our body can send even more messages than words can. What’s the use of taking dental health care and eating a healthy diet if you won’t show that lovely smile to the world? So. smile! Help the world reduce its heavy burden by lightening other people’s mood. but they can cause irreversible damage to the dental enamel. Hence. it wouldn’t hurt if you give some to them. if we like to be liked 17 . BODY LANGUAGE Contrary to what many people believe that it is only through our mouths and tongues that we can communicate with other people. The study reports that fitness water. if you think that only sodas are the culprit.bottle says “diet. Finally. They may re-hydrate the body. using bodily gestures. sports drinks. And. “Body language. It helps to project our level of receptivity to others. energy drinks. your smile will be more appealing if you share it with others. after all. often communicates our feelings and attitudes before we speak. Be it strangers or friends.
Indirectly. This gesture suggests that you are friendly and available for contact. “I hear you. if you aim only to display positive expressions. it is saying. thus the phrase “welcoming with open arms. Therefore.” During a conversation. so that you can catch other people’s attention in a positive manner. go on!” By not nodding or by just staring blankly. as in Nod. constant smiling and waving can mean friendly gestures to them and may make them notice you right away. To help you be aware and remember what these positive behaviors are. For example.easily. Open arms. frowning. Touch. take N-O-T-E of it. Nod. then we have to watch out the nonverbal messages we send to other people. Body gestures can signify both negative and positive expressions. and looking away can let other people realize that you are not interested at them at all. you may appear to be lost in the discussion. open arms make others feel that you are receptive and 18 . Open Arms. It usually signals your approval to the idea being talked about. crossed arms. A nod of the head indicates that you are listening and you understand what the speaker is saying. More than that. you have to know what possible messages other people can extract from your actions to avoid misunderstanding and eventually drawing away from one another. and Eye contact. On the other hand. you ought to know what these body gestures are. encouraging him to continue talking.
there will always be an idea the communicators might extract from them. Indirectly. Touch. “Hello! It’s nice to meet you. indicates that you are listening intently to the speaker and you are interested in what he is talking about. Do you believe that the strongest of the nonverbal gestures is sent through the eyes? In fact. people may think twice on approaching you as you appear to be in deep thought. This is the reason why body language is an essential element in developing charisma. however. With the latter description. This time. Remember that eye contact should be done naturally and not forcefully. or just don’t want to be disturbed. Direct eye contact during conversations. This touch refers to the warm handshake done by two people meeting for the first time. handshakes are also carried out. so that it won’t turn out to be awkward. Even if gestures don’t directly convey a message. it may mean. A warm and firm handshake is a safe way of showing an open and friendly attitude towards the people you meet. On the other hand. it says. standing or sitting with arms crossed or very close to the body may mean being defensive and closed-minded.listening. “I’ve really enjoyed talking with you!” or “Let’s get together again soon!” Eye Contact.” Sometimes. Body language does play a big role in communicating with other people. To get other people to notice and 19 . the way you look at one person may entail various meanings. at the end of conversations. It implies that you are pleased to meet and know somebody personally.
Open Arms. Touch. Widening your eyes implies interest and passion. doubting. Emote with the eyes. Learning to Speak the Language of the Body Aside from taking N-O-T-E (Nod. Make use of your eyebrows. 3. Make direct eye contact to show you are engaged. Eyes are expressions of emotions. too much eye contact can turn into a stare-down. That can seem intimidating. engaged. narrowing the eyes may mean disbelieving. the more outgoing. The more animated your eyebrows are. or reacting on what others are saying. On the other hand. and responsive to the conversation the other person is carrying out with you. Do not overdo the eye contact. This will signal that you’re accepting. When 20 . A positive thought is best expressed with a rising eyebrows. 2.like you. However.” On the other hand. or disagreeing to the idea of the other person. indirectly saying “I am open for you. Combine your expressive eyes with a winning smile. and Eye Contact) of the body language. and friendly you’ll appear to other people. lowering them can imply negative thought. welcoming. Let them dance along with your voice and the thoughts you’re trying to convey. or just plain awkward. you’d have to know how your body should properly speak to other people. 4. A smile communicates friendliness. here are other things to consider when communicating with other people nonverbally: 1. open.
Words break the ice. as well. Proper poise and posture shows confidence. Relaxation shows that you are interested and have more time to listen. 5. Hence. you can form a connection with other people that will get rid of the irritation and awkwardness possibly arising out of the silence. “Hurry up. 6. they reveal attachment and so much interest on the other person. It clearly shows an unfriendly aura. Slouching is perceived as unfriendly because it indicates disengagement. It shows a level of engagement and warmth. Never tap your feet when someone is talking. Tapping says.combined. interest. if your head is down low. I’m losing interest.” or “I’m bored. Maybe they are not as irksome as you thought. as well as openness. When your head is up high. it shows confidence – you’ll seem to know what you are saying or doing. 7. You don’t want others to see this on you. Speak up. When are you going stop?” Unless you want to convey those ideas. Silence can be unfriendly. so start a conversation. Maintain good posture. don’t tap your feet in front of somebody who is speaking. Hold your head up when you talk. When you begin to talk. On the other hand. 21 . rather than be quiet. shy. Their two features combined will equal more perceived friendliness than either one alone. and having no interest in participating a conversation or an activity. you’ll appear timid. and you will find out how interesting they are. 8. go with your relaxed feet that are kinder and more welcoming.
in which it is loaded with pure silliness and can offend nobody. or focuses on areas of behavior that should not be discussed at the dinner table. “Whether it’s meetings. We can’t tolerate people who aren’t enthusiastic. it gradually becomes part of everyday conversation. or policies. race. It usually humiliates other people due to discrimination according to profession. 3. It is very helpful when trying to lighten up the mood of a serious conversation. age. He says. However. there is a major difference between positive humor and negative humor. hence. a successful businessman of computers. The latter involves rude attacks on people or their ideas. this type of entertainment is morally wrong and can hurt the feelings of other. memos. The primary purpose of such jokes is to break the ice that might be forming during serious talks and discussions. Louis Siegfried. and gender.” Siegfried is known as practicing positive attitude while he takes his business seriously.There’s no harm in breaking the silence and making new friends by speaking up. The more appropriate sense of humor to use as entertainment during conversations is the good one. motivating other people to participate more with such activities. GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR Humor captures people’s attention and sets them at ease. “I think if you have fun. Hence. says. Most people find humor entertaining and fun. most business 22 . then you do well.
make it extra boring. and enjoyable. you’ll realize that there is always a flip side to everything. See the lighter part of every situation. and no one will be. We operate under the rule that the best way to get people to do their job well is to get them to want to do their job. say. rather than the serious one. Nobody is perfect. Doing such won’t help you turn 23 . say that it was not because you didn’t study. Therefore. Assume playful behaviors. When you failed an exam.” Upon close observation. 3. don’t get mad right away or blame other people. but because you studied too well that your brain exploded with all the information it contained. Bring out the child in you. Besides making you cheerful.seems to operate on the premise that if you can possibly make something boring. Think funny. They may seem nothing to you. so try to unravel and make use of it. funny thoughts can reduce worries and anxiety that serious situations can bring about. and the best way to do that is to make sure there’s little fun in what we do. On the other hand. but they can totally entertain other people. when you’re late at work because you weren’t able to wake up on time. 2. “I know it would be traffic so I let it cease first before I went to the office. Laugh at your mistakes. Children are naturally funny. Be open to childish and even meaningless stuffs. When this happens to you.” Building on that Positive Sense of Humor 1. Showing up your innocent side to other people can help you develop your sense of humor easily. it is inevitable that we all will commit mistakes. amusing.
Be in between happy people. it may be embarrassing. Learn to sing and dance. When you get used to seeing their happy persona and hearing their lively jokes. 5. advisers. This is because we reveal things to friends that we just wouldn’t say to anybody else. Sing to express. supporters. brothers. make fun of it instead. Hence. sympathizers. you’d gradually develop their skills at humoring. Life is too short to waste on being upset all the time. go out and spend quality time together with them. 4. A friend is a single term we use to call our allies. 4. there can always be a positive sense of humor situation that can take place. Instead. Once in a while. Adopt their culture and think the way they do. Dance to let go of all the worries and fears. playmates. Yes. fill your heart and mind with cheerful emotions. During tense moments.back the hands of time and redo the situation. classmates. FRIENDLINESS It has been said that if love is blind. do not worry. They give us 24 . Surround yourself with those who can make you laugh or can teach you how to make use of laughter as a weapon. 6. Whether it’s just a simple scrabble match or watching movies. It is always more comfortable to have fun with people close to you than with strangers. Grab these opportunities to learn. but who cares? At least you know how to turn your low points upside down. listeners. Share laughter with family and friends. friendship is just not noticing. Funny people can inspire you to be just like them. and a lot more.
a give-and-take-relationship. Some people feel it takes too much time and effort to develop friendship. commitment. unfriendliness is the communication of negative feelings for another person through verbal and/or nonverbal methods. and not the other way around. For one. you have to develop trust. then you’ll be stuck with just being noticed but not being liked. Friendship is the first thing we can offer to and accept from a person after having to meet him personally and know some things about him. honest opinions. A friend is someone you can trust with confidential matters . and advice. and a lot of tolerance for the many limitations and weaknesses we all have. That is why charisma is about friendliness.you know that he won’t hold anything against you. and accepts. it may mean “expressing a liking for one person.” On the other hand.” “You are not welcome. A friend is someone who has the same interests as yours. and trust takes a lot of time 25 . understands.” or “conveying a generally positive feeling towards him. and loves you for who you are.” “welcoming him into your life. because if somebody feels this kind of atmosphere in you. Although most people are open to new friendships. feedback. By being friendly. The message conveying this aura includes: “I’m not interested in you.” and other distant and cold remarks. life pursuits such as family and careers tend to become higher priority. Making friends requires time. as friendship requires mutual trust between two people. effort.encouragement.” “You irritate me.
2. you must develop a way of thinking in which friendliness is the default position. start conversations with them. Find out if you have similar interests. Get rid of all unfriendly behaviors. Hence. you can start up a friendship. trust. the mere absence of unfriendliness can be perceived as friendliness. values. you should give them enough reasons to. They would prefer to stay with you rather than with people who make them feel unwelcome. Also. Becoming familiar with the people you deal with everyday will make this 26 . others would want to be with you. When you come to think of it. To do that. Prevent unfriendliness by adopting a new perspective or way of seeing things in life.to develop. and stay positive. the best way to boost your friendliness is to eliminate all your unfriendly attitudes. and if the conditions are right. rather than being a snub. Before other people can start liking you. Smile. Being Friendly and Sociable 1. Make sure your attitude is friendly for realization. does not take little time. Learn to like yourself. Become familiar with people. rather than doubt. 3. When you are friendly. Develop a friendly mindset. rather than being negative. When you see the same people over a period of time. being familiar with the other person. That is why friendliness is an essential element in developing charisma – because it is actually how people will know your intentions and desires. resulting in new ideas. including knowing and practicing similar interests. and realities.
On the other hand.” and introducing yourself. 4. 27 . it means they are starting to trust you and are comfortable with you. 7. Think about what you have to say first before blurting out words not appropriate for the situation. A display of extreme anger can be the loudest dose of unfriendliness you can ever give someone. 5. Remember important facts and details about other people you meet. Your attention shows your interest and curiosity. outgoing attitude. In doing so. when you wait longer to make an introduction. 6. Make it a point to stop and chat when there is a perfect opportunity. “By the way.much easier. When you feel anger coming on. When you want to make friends with someone. he will most likely respond in a friendly manner. Be the first one to take the initiative to say. What’s yours?” The sooner you introduce yourself to other people. the situation gets more awkward. When people begin to open up to you. my name is [Maria]. the more comfortable you become with each other. Introduce yourself. pause for a while and breathe deeply. Do not wait for other people to ask you your name and more information about you. a new friendship has developed. you make them feel special. and encourages them to talk and reveal more information. let him know you are interested and that you want to get to know him better. And before you know it. You will be building a friendly. When you show a person that you like him. Manage your anger. saying “hello. Start by smiling. Make other people feel important. Don’t be afraid to show your liking to the other person.
8. but at least you have done your part in accepting your mistake and in asking for forgiveness. 28 . You may not be forgiven right away. self-image matters more in how they rate their job performance than does their actual job performance? In fact. apologize and say you’re sorry. let me ask you this: how good are you at your job (or at just anything that you’re doing)? Do you carry out tests or other evaluation measures to assess your performance at a certain task? Surely. After all. that punching bag won’t see your unfriendliness and can’t destroy your personality. or with an understanding friend. for most people studied. Before we continue. CONFIDENCE Do you know that for eight in ten people. do it in private.Speak wisely. they claimed that the first step towards improving their job performance had nothing to do with the job itself. If you need to vent your anger really badly. People tend to forget mistakes done by those who know how to acknowledge them and are ready to make changes. 5. Even if it can be difficult at times. Learn to repair damages. there is an objective way to know whether you are good. excellent. especially if you know it’s your fault. Go to the gym and take it out on a set of weights or a punching bag. or superb at what you do – whether you should consider yourself a success or not. but with improving how they felt about themselves.
Somehow. and eventually achieved his most desired wish. you have to really want it and believe in it. because you are totally independent from facts. You have to make it happen. believing that you can make something happen. teachers. their self-doubts overrule evidence to the contrary. Some people think others are really better than them.is more important than the actual result of actually carrying out the task. He dreamed of becoming part of Broadway. Missouri named Ross can exemplify the importance of confidence. You can’t sit back and hope that someone is going to help you along. If you want to do it. It’s true! Believing and having enough faith in yourself . He has one explanation for his surprising success: “I have confidence. Authorities like bosses. Confidence. leaders. A dancer from Springfield. prefer working with people who know and believe they can handle a certain task.Actually. and feelings of confidence actually start with entertaining the thought that you are good enough. Instead. and they do not change their opinion even when they are presented with indicators of success. and the likes. helps you become the better person you are thinking.that you have what it takes to carry out a task . they 29 .” Enough confidence is an essential component of an attractive personality. people who do not think they are good at what they do – admitting to themselves that they are just the typical kind – are not capable of success and leadership. Don’t wait for your next evaluation to change your view on yourself.
so they tend to hire or appoint somebody who appears to be already knowledgeable enough.would like that their work be reduced. Making You More Confident about Yourself The problem with most unconfident people is that they feel inferior to others. but hopes to capture the moon…and to capture it right now! But as soon as you make efforts to achieve your goals in real life. Inferiority starts at a stage in your life when your will was broken. On the other hand. you plan pretentious schemes in which you attain international recognition. you compensate for this by exaggerated dreams. This results into emotional immaturity. In consequence. not from genetic factors. your disbelief in yourself springs back on you and you are returned on your native distrust. It comes. and ambitions quite beyond the scope of possibility. but from awful childhood experiences. I can never be good! And your 30 . and when your belief in yourself and in your ability was punctured. by a sibling or a schoolmate. rescue princesses from the hands of the villains. in which the attempts of the child to express his growing personality were prevented by an over-bearing parent or guardian. You are like a baby unable to walk. you are “less than the dust” in your own opinion. On one hand. or by some humiliating physical defect. or become the conqueror of the world! Nothing less will do. you will surely get that kind of impression. You think to yourself. And with confidence. discover earth buried treasure. rather than increased. Inferiority is a humiliating disbelief in one’s self. ideas.
since you’re not a kid anymore and you understand how this attitude has stayed with you through life. humiliations. Now. You realize now that you are indeed a valuable member of the society and many recognize your presence. Remember how these experiences were too much to bear .inferiority continues to battle with your superior thinking.how your whole life became a protest against the inevitable defeat. or the scolds from your parents you open-mindedly accepted. with the result that your mental energies. Recall the countless bullies you endured. you can gradually climb out of it. Bring back to memory all the cruel remarks. You were “the little kid that nobody loves” and they became the monster in your eyes that you could never stand up to. Live it over again in your mind. and embarrassments you never wanted to live with in the first place. Everyone appeared to be superior and better than you. this problem with inferiority can be dealt with if you trace it to its source and start a new lifestyle. were wrecked in a sea of worry and conflict because you thought you were a failure. Relax. You do not need to be the maltreated kid whom nobody loves anymore. Remember to feel what it’s like to be a child again. 31 . Challenging as it is. with no tangible outcome apart from mental torture. instead of moving towards real achievement.
You must control your mind and insist that the humiliating verdict passed on you by your childhood authorities and bullies is not true – that you must begin to accept yourself and believe in your own worth. to help you answer my question. so the more confident you can show up and do what it has to do – build the best out of you. Know-It-All or just plain stupid most of the time? Do I believe that I’m good-looking or am I contented with how people see me? - How did I come up with such description? Are those how I truly feel or just things I heard from other people? - How do I behave. take a deep breath. you need to kill your inferior self. Don’t prejudice your chance of success by pursuing impossible dreams and ambitions. sit back. start with small accomplishments and work your way up with them. BEING YOURSELF Before continuing with this report. Morbid as it may seem. relax. let me ask you something: Who are you? And please. a profession. or family information. Instead. don’t just give me a name. and ask yourself the following questions: - How do I describe myself? Am I a happy person or do I get mad easily? Am I Mr. and respond …in the house? …in the office? …with my friends? …with strangers? 32 . Ok. 6. react.
but also more to yourself. not just to other people. “Real people know their roots. and they behave accordingly. define the term real as “being true to yourself and being true to others. When you show people who you really are. and their history. They remember where they came from and who brought them to the dance. And once you’ve known more. they will 33 . too? - What do other people expect of me? Am I meeting their expectations or have I disappointed them even once? - What is my best asset? Why did I say so? Has anybody told me it is really a good feature on me? The above guide questions will help you realize how well you know yourself. and ambitions in life? Have I already achieved even just a few of them? How do I plan to achieve the rest of them? - Who are my true friends? Close friends? Distant friends? Acquaintances? Am I a real friend to them. their heritage. as possessing authenticity and sincerity. or being you.” They add. They know their values. authors of the book Get Real.” Being real. And they retain that knowledge. here’s another question: Are you being the “real” you at all times? No hesitations? No pretensions? Joe Pine and Jim Gilmore.- How do others see me? Why could they possibly say that? Do I see their bases and can I justify it? - What are my dreams. is important on all occasions. goals.
we should not be seen doing such act. Never be afraid. And if you are untrue. but somebody we want you to be. because the more you show the real you. People don’t want to be deceived in any way. there is lying. but somebody you don’t even know? We know the feeling. There will be no veil between your true nature and your perception of it. Another sign of being unreal is an act of hypocrisy. wherever you are. there is insincerity – when we are being fooled. You may have 34 . How can the acts of being unreal take your charisma away from you? First. How would you feel if you were given a praise that makes you feel great about yourself and then later on found out that it was full of hot air? Isn’t it annoying how other people show not their true self. If we list down things here that you should do with the purpose of aiming you to be yourself. if you do something that is not you. following them wouldn’t make you yourself. When other people find out that you are not telling the truth to them. if you are not real. just be natural. then you are performing deceit. the more reasons you’ll have for other people to like you. How Can You Be True to Yourself? Being yourself requires no other rules but to just stay whoever you are. everything you have ever said or done will be put into question. and whenever it is. What they will hear is who you actually are. If you want to be liked. You are the same on the outside as on the inside. Don’t you feel terrible when someone is not being real with you? Finally.believe that you are sincere. Hence. Hence. be yourself.
and to gain applause which he cannot keep.Benjamin Disraeli Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess. . too: Be who you are and say what you feel. instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. To help you motivate yourself to be just yourself and not like other people. . here are some quotations cited by famous people who were definitely themselves. He would have created me otherwise.François Duc de La Rochefoucauld Never apologize for showing feeling.Johann von Goethe 35 . The Rambler. but opening your mind to further learning can help you improve yourself and may transform you into a better you. you apologize for the truth. . Seuss He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. ~Dr.Samuel Johnson. When you do so. because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.limitations now.Raymond Hull Always be a first-rate version of yourself. . 1750 If God had wanted me otherwise. .Judy Garland We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves. .
you will forget the pose. Contretemps. and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin. without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.Fanny Brice No man for any considerable period can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude. 36 .John Mason It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not. The Scarlet Letter You were born an original. if you are posing. Nathaniel Hawthorne. .André Berthiaume. .Let the world know you as you are. and then where are you? . not as you think you should be. Don't die a copy. because sooner or later.Andre Gide We all wear masks. .
Make a lasting impression. Charisma starts with everything that can be seen by other people in you. Don’t settle to be ordinary. from head to toe. Dare to be different! Get out there and be noticed! Physical Charm Enhancing physical charm refers to improving all your external features. Whether you will just buy some groceries at the neighborhood store or attend a very important business meeting. Take a bath at least once a 37 . you ought to be more than your typical look. you will need quite of a change in your lifestyle: from the body to the mind.Chapter 4 Enhancing Charisma Understanding the power of charisma – knowing its importance and its essential elements – is never enough. • Be presentable at all times. • Maintain good personal hygiene. Consider proper attire (and make-up for women) for every occasion. always aim to look your best. If you really want to bring out the charisma inside of you and become the better person you thought you will never become. An astonishing number of quite ordinary-looking women can give an illusion of strikingly good looks merely by being exceptionally well groomed. from the heart to the spirit. Even if it’s a simple get-together with the family. Let them see the power in you without opening your lips and moving your body.
• Wear a proper scent. hipbone. maintain proper hair length. slowly inch your feet back to the wall and straighten your legs until you are in a standing position. So. shoulder. This doesn’t mean too sweet.day. match clothes. and brush your teeth after every meal. An excellent way to get the feel of the way your back should be is to stand one foot away from an unobstructed flat wall. practice it until it becomes a habit: Proper posture starts with the alignment of the earlobe. Finally. or too scented. Keeping your back and head flat against the wall. • Learn and practice proper posture. sit on an imaginary support by bending your knees with your back and head against the wall. This is now the correct standing posture. Next. tighten abdominal and buttock muscles in order to tilt the pelvis up in front and down in back. etc. and anklebone. too strong. We want you to attract people. change undergarments (including socks. cut finger and toe nails short. not to send them away. 38 . shorts. if you have any problem carrying out the correct form of the body.” they say. Then. “Practice makes perfect. Place your back against the wall again to see if you have held the good form. wash your hands frequently. Spray the right amount of body perfume or cologne enough to give a lasting fragrance for other people to remember you. wear proper make-up. with back to the wall. maintaining the same posture.) regularly. walk around the room.
Personal cleanliness and regular bathing is the first step towards controlling both bacterial growths on the skin and body odor. but more importantly. on your skin.• Eliminate body-odor. make a lasting impression by giving an abundant smile that helps other people remember you. • Smile! Nothing else attracts other people more than a sweet charming smile. Also. Rather. Being healthy is not really being thin or slim. Even so. try to wear clothing that lets air circulate and allows perspiration to evaporate. it is still true and undeniable. Talk about bad hair day! 39 . not even being fat and obese. Health is wealth. health is measured by being in good physical. You wouldn’t want their first impression on you to be something bad. A healthy body is not only a good picture to anybody else. and does not depend on the person’s weight or figure. and emotional condition. • Maintain proper hair care. Especially in warm countries. take advantage of commercial products that can be used to lessen body odor such as deodorants and antiperspirants. eat a well-balanced diet. would you? Instead. • Stay healthy. even from afar. They say that the human hair is a person’s crowning glory. As clichéd as the phrase is. mental. and get enough sleeping time to improve your health and avoid unwanted diseases. Never frown because you’ll never know when someone is looking at you. rather than accumulate. Exercise regularly. all women have those days when they wish they could cover every unwieldy strand. a treasure for your well being as well.
it doesn’t excuse you from keeping the glow on your face and the energy on your body. and that you are ready to give yourself to them.Get a good hair cut that suits your personality. It all begins right here. Without a perfect hair cut. Even if you had the most tiring day. that you have nothing to hide. There’s nothing worse than dirty. Only wear necessary ones. • Customize and accessorize! Wear appropriate clothing suitable for every occasion. • Discard the illusion of fatigue and exhaustion. oily hair that hangs in clumps. nothing else you do can give you the result you want. Somebody who knows how to carry himself in front of people catches enough attention. If people see the picture that you are proud to be yourself. Train your mind to block off worry and frustration. take it easy with accessories. Moreover. Also. Before going to bed. keep it clean always. and chest out. then they will easily like you! Intellectual Influence 40 . Empty your mind every night before you go to sleep. We want to draw attention not because of impropriety but because of our over-all appeal no matter what we wear. Know what is too much and too little. bring out that confidence! Stand up straight with your chin up. • Finally. forgive everybody who has offended you and leave the past as it is. stomach in.
Once in a while. charisma also requires that the intellectual aspect of an individual be influential. People admire those who see the brighter side of life. surely. Mental disturbances such as anxiety. right? • Always bring a punch line with you. In every moment of our lives. Hence. panic. centering 41 . It is recommendable to crack a joke in the middle of a serious or boring conversation. rather than those who dwell on past mistakes and regrets. Just make sure that your jokes are clean and wouldn’t affect. his mental well-being should also be considered. After all. what is beauty if the brain is empty. regulate your thoughts. and distress might bring depression and can greatly affect your interaction with people. believe. the physical appearance is not the only attribute that other people notice on us. Healthy thoughts produce a healthy mind and body. or humiliate anybody. stay positive. react.Going now on the inside. you’d be the favorite of the crowd. act. They will help you achieve what you want. discriminate. people wait for somebody who can skew an intense discussion to make it lighter and more interesting. we use our brain. to find out if a person is more than just beauty. our minds are awake. It tells us what to say. • Eliminate negativities. If you can be that person. Even during sleep. As much as possible. Therefore. We cannot stay motionless forever. Who would want to believe somebody who doesn’t really believe on himself or anybody else? • Never be afraid of fear and worries. and perform in particular situations.
During discussions. wrong doings. Go to the movies once in a while. and clarifications aloud. Relax. There are exceptions however. Just make sure not to bore your listeners with useless. parks. rather. especially in times of surprise attack of interviews. say your opinions. and think of happy. Achieve peace of mind by giving yourself time to recharge run down energy cells. and other negative ideas. • Go on a “five-minute vacation” once in a while. Get active and be interested in others. and the likes. it is accepting what you can and cannot do. the more interesting you’ll be and the more armed you’ll be. never hide. Intelligence is not about knowing it all. 42 . close your eyes.your attention away from mistakes. As you go back to reality. you can restart another intellectual episode of life. botanical gardens. and magazines. If you believe that what you’re about to say concerns a private matter. Whatever you do. trivial facts. The more you stock knowledge into your brain. Visit museums. peaceful thoughts. particularly dealing with other people. questions. regrets. Don’t be afraid to let others know what you really feel inside. take deep breathes. And try your best to say your points of view in a positive way. and fully utilizing whatever resources you may have. newspapers. Express yourself freely and fully. Find time to watch TV programs. • Equip yourself with relevant ideas. talk one-on-one with that person. • Always seek. Read a lot of books. make sure that you learn something new. When you’re feeling stressed-out.
On the other hand. it is also healthy (in fact. frustrations. Listen to what each one says and decipher its meaning. your mind is gradually.• Dream…both literally and figuratively. By having a definite ambition. love. what you want to have in life. This improves your intellectual capacity. When you continually feel compelled to top the story told by another. and purpose in life. These are all illustrations of the necessity to win. It shall take you to where you should be. happiness. and more. but in terms of what you can do. in search of true happiness. Never take them for granted. endeavoring to find a way to make it happen. desire. When you’re asleep. or who you want to spend the rest of your life with. the desire to be the best dressed on a party. Anything can become a contest – the desire to have the last word on a debate. Cease to think in terms of what you cannot do. who knows what will happen? 43 . but surely. Never think failure because if you do. Think success and believe that you are capable of being successful. your mind works on how to actually make it happen. you are expected) to dream a certain goal in life – what you want to accomplish. your dreams let you know what’s really inside your heart – fears. Notice why those who don’t dream can’t make anything out of life? • Desire to win! The desire to have some overt sign of success is great when there are feelings of unconscious competition. or even the need to finish first in an experiment.
Argue the pros and cons. Once people see your professionalism being exuded. Hence. Look for excitement and romance even in the simplest things you can find. and once you’ve made one. They find it difficult to open up ideas with another person. and unhealthy thoughts on your mind. Likeability for these people is challenging. no man is an island. believe in it. • Learn to be enthusiastic. he lives to socialize with other people. if you want to develop the power of 44 . they will respect you as much as you respect their trust and expectation on you. Surround yourself with the facts. And if he cannot interact effectively. Diligently practice eliminating all dull. or even to just simply smile. to share their experiences and feelings. Give all you’ve got to life and it will give its greatest gifts to you. Stand up for your right of free thought. Everybody likes a person with discipline – whether it is as simple as falling in line or arriving on time. Social Appeal Man is a social being.• Make healthy and sound decisions. he may find it hard to survive in this world. the truth holds that many people don’t really have the ability to communicate efficiently with others. See the consequences of your final decision. Still. they will just drain your energy and passion. Visualize the outcome of your problem so you’ll know how to act upon it. • Be professional at all times. dead. Choosing from options is a great test of the mind and its ability to weigh consequences. After all.
but listen and show interest to what others have to say. • Don’t forget the simple gestures. A good conversationalist is also a good listener.. • Look back and sympathize. Titles show respect and make the other people important. Who knows. Pronounce the name correctly and always add the appropriate title.charisma. A person’s name is the sweetest sound he hears. Help them to eventually adjust to their new environment. don’t put the entire spotlight on you.. Sir. • Remember who’s who. It is essential for the other person to see a genuine interest from you regarding the topic he is discussing or 45 . Dr. Be the one to make them feel at home. Miss. • Hey. Talk if you have something to say. etc. exert much effort to remember it. How did you feel when you first stepped into a new school? Or when you were finally hired at a company where you knew no one? Learn to help and understand new comers on a group or organization. Pay attention when someone is talking. such as Mr.. Mrs. listen! During a conversation. Professor. Remember that every person is a being with appreciative feelings. because you know the feeling of bewilderment that newcomers are experiencing when they are first starting out. It wouldn’t do any harm to smile and say “good morning” to a friend or a neighbor even if it is raining. with that smile you may have already completed his day. Agree? Therefore. you shouldn’t neglect modifying your social skills and turning them into irresistible appeals.
If there is a subject or a problem that another person can help you with. It’s enough that you explain why you are not in favor with such thought. and share joyful moments with them. Respect his decisions as much as you want yours to be respected. Be willing to help others – be it advice. Learn how to make the people that matters to you feel loved and important.” Show people respect. as you are better than some people at other times. • Discuss. Instead. Learn to accept the fact that someone may be better than you at one point.saying. If they feel that they are special to you. be assisted some time in the future. the feeling will most likely be reciprocated. “I consider you as an authority on this matter. do not doubt his luck or spread dirty rumors on how he succeeded. And let’s not forget the Law of Karma. A conversation’s primary purpose is to exchange interesting views under certain topics. trust them. Many conversations are ruined and misunderstood because some people don’t know how to listen. If you keep interrupting while he’s talking. in turn. or simply the right direction. be happy for him. suggestion. If you find an idea you don’t agree with. Also. • Always be available. 46 . Assisting someone else up the success ladder can help you. You’ll be getting much more than what you’re giving away. you don’t need to argue with a person. he will lose interest in continuing the conversation. let it be. • Don’t be jealous! If someone other than you achieved success. don’t argue. • Make others feel special. approach him by saying.
Criticism is a form of unconscious competition.understand that you do not make a hit every time. other people wish that. they can’t accept judgment right away and they take criticisms personally. Forgive people who have committed mistakes against you. So. Learn to forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements of the future. 47 . take it easy. so don’t let it bother you. if you don’t want to be the victim of rude chatters and cold stares. Never keep anger or hatred in you heart. The quickest way to become unpopular and hated is to spread tales and gossips about others. too. it may seem an attempt to pull yourself up by pulling him down. Even if your intention is good. As much as you want your private life to be kept hidden. Think before you speak. Envy and jealousy won’t do any good to you or the other person. It means that you’re trying to find a soft spot in someone’s armor. Experience has shown that if you always give your best. for it won’t do any good for the betterment of a relationship. a point at which you can fight him unjustly and win. Most people are sensitive. your average will break pretty well. • Take it easy with criticisms. take good care of a friendship and nourish it. it is something that you can always depend on when you are failing or losing hope. • Stay away from gossips. • Forgive and forget. don’t mind useless talks about other people. Hence. Instead. because at the end.
and so on. do it sincerely. notice how the coat of your secretary suits her personality. However. No matter how simple a favor is done for you.• Show appreciation. which makes you more noticeable. 48 . praise a job well done by your kids. Watch a smile and pleasant response come from the person being complimented. Some people can recognize if you are being truthful or not. Spiritual Power More than physical. if you are the one being thanked for. Let others feel that you like them. make it a habit to say “thank you. This refers to the intensity of your faith. compliment the new hairstyle of your wife. intellectual. likeable. adding confidence to the image you project to other people. or social enhancement. • Be thankful. For instance. There is this thing known as dishonest flattery that can ruin a relationship. do not forget to develop your spirit’s potential. and loveable. don’t forget to say “you’re welcome” to the other person.” Any difficulties encountered to achieve a task will pay off as long as you recognize and appreciate their efforts. to complete the casting of the wonderful power of your charisma. In turn. development of charisma can never be complete without the spiritual power you ought to release in you. they can see right through you. respectable. So.
If faith can move mountains. Take deep breaths. attend religious services. Recharge your body. Relax. It is very handy. without a doubt. soul. Evaluate yourself and ask questions like: What are my spiritual needs? How can I fulfill those? Where can I find true answers to my life’s questions? Research intently on what religion or faith can actually provide answers to the questions you raised. and ask advices from friends and family members to help you decide on how to fulfill your spiritual needs • Pray…on all occasions… every chance you get. make your desires happen. You won’t be able to pursue something you are not fully aware of. their certainties lie in the hands of the Almighty. Once in a while. Closing your eyes for a while and saying a little prayer can make a lot of difference. believe that it will eventually happen. • Believe and have faith. mind. Prayer is actually the most powerful weapon you can equip yourself with. • Understand the faith you choose to believe. and spirit against the frustrating and exhausting habits of everyday life. it can also. Do researches.• Make a self-assessment. After all. 49 . • Meditate. spend some time alone to reflect on the things happening in your life. To help you make your prayers come true.
However. there are endless 50 . Again.Chapter 5 Overconfidence: When Charisma is Not Handled with Care Confidence and charisma are interrelated – confidence is necessary to enhance charisma. However. believing that they can handle any situation they may face. But looking at reality. these youngsters don’t obey their parents and still go out on their own. as much as how confidence can make you. Confidence becomes bad when it reaches beyond its boundaries – when you become overconfident about yourself. it can also break you. can make you gain more friends. and can help you succeed in all your endeavors. They say that they can take care of themselves and that nothing bad will happen to them. it can help you build better rapport. In fact. For example. Confidence can get other people to notice you in a positive light. and when you have developed the power of charisma. it can also be destructive. Being overconfident. you become more confident about yourself. that is if you have developed confidence more than you should. confidence is really a powerful thing. teenagers always complain about the overprotectiveness of their parents. There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you can do and letting other people see it. This is most likely to happen because many people overestimate their strengths and capabilities. as other people can easily trust you with particular tasks. Hence.
people would tend to be annoyed with how excessively you carry your confidence. murder. you want to be a better person. It can either be helpful or destructive. As what we have mentioned earlier. who gets the hearts of others just to win in the next election without really meaning what he says. and so on. Instead of looking attractive. If they realize that you are way too much for their standards. you must apply enough amounts of its elements – smiling. they will dislike you the same way as those who don’t match their criteria. To make this happen. drug addiction. right? So use it to make yourself better. If you give more than what you should. overconfidence or using your charisma inappropriately can destroy your personality. humor. you seem boastful. you should be responsible in using it. you don’t want to brag. you become irritating. After all. instead of sounding wise. body language. etc.reports about teenage crimes. and instead of giving the impression that you are making friends. you might appear to be more like an insincere politician. you just want to be recognized. rape. With charisma. 51 . once you have gained such power. Similar to the above example (but not as morbid as it is). Instead of being noticed and liked. it becomes too much to handle. people make standards for somebody they would choose to like and respect. and not worse. Hence. This happens because people overemphasize what they think they can do. Charisma is a power.
People will easily notice us. you have to consider a few things like proper dental hygiene and a healthy diet. you ought to know its elements that are essential in making you appealing and influential in front of other people. without really costing anything. like us. making you likeable. Of course. Charisma. and bringing you a better and healthier lifestyle. but each one of us already possesses the charisma we all wanted to have. But why? What can charisma possibly do for us that we should be concerned in setting it free from our internal walls? The many advantages of charisma include getting other people to notice you. respect our decisions.Summary and Conclusion You may not know it. First. it is overwhelming to actually have such power. influencing others. with charisma. Its priceless feature should not prevent you from sharing it to all the people you know and meet along the way. or the ability to inspire one’s enthusiasm or interest by means of personal charm. to have that most charming smile. To fully enhanced charisma from within. However. bringing out the best in you. there is the smile – the most heartwarming gesture you can give to other people. Who wouldn’t want this kind of appreciation? Therefore. is already within us. 52 . follow what we have to say. and eventually love us. nothing is impossible. We only have to know some secrets in order to unleash it from within us.
Improving your confidence starts with dealing with your inferiorities. Next. Open Arms. 53 . If you know how to crack jokes naturally. but you can do something to overcome your limitations and actually change them into your advantage. Confidence is another element you need to develop in order to enhance the power of charisma. without hurting or offending other people. you can easily fascinate them and they will like the way you entertain them. it would be easy for them to recognize your worth. The fourth in our list of charisma’s essential elements is friendliness. Accept that nobody is perfect. and Eye Contact. we have the positive sense of humor. the head. the hands. To always remember how to use body language effectively. This refers to believing and having faith in yourself and in what you can do. Awareness of the meaning they convey can help you speak to other people without really moving your lips and uttering words.Body language is another essential element of charisma. Confidence helps in carrying out a plan and in making it a success. having a friendly mindset. If we make friends with a lot of people. Being friendly includes getting rid of all your unfriendly behavior. the body can communicate using gestures and movements. anger management. We use this in order to break the monotony of a serious conversation. Touch. and apologizing sincerely for any mistake done. Other gestures that can communicate include the eyebrows. and the feet. you must take N-O-T-E of it: making use of Nods. Even without words.
Finally. followed. After all. This means having no hesitations and no pretensions. However. all the time. disobeyed. they can easily trust you and accept you for who you are. when you overemphasize charisma. rather than make you. social appeal. enhancing charisma is an over-all personality makeover. If people see you not imitating anybody else. Aside from the essential elements you need to develop. wherever you are. Being yourself doesn’t require any rules but to stay who you are. Hence. and not for the better. the power of charisma can be totally completed by perfecting your physical charm. Like confidence. be careful not to overuse it. annoyed. and not to be neglected. We want to be noticed. it can break you. 54 . you have to be true to yourself – being just you anywhere. respected. and spiritual power. and loved. when you have finally developed the power of charisma. to complete the spells of charisma. it can change you for the worse. intellectual influence. and loathed. apply the right amount of charisma in everything you do. they will eventually like you.
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