This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
My first experience of romantic love was its protracted absence. The first love; the one that determined the criteria by which to measure the acceptable from the unacceptable qualities of all subsequent loves against, was a self-reference. Yet this is not a confession. I am not destitute in spirit, crying into my glass or splurging stoic fists into trench coat pockets as I reveal this to you from a point overlooking the edge of the world from a seat set looking down. As I write this I am happy, and able to share that happiness with another; the suffering of loneliness misunderstood recalled now through memory. I wish my narcissism were more devout but when my relationship (with me) first began I was utterly miserable... Loneliness can be both singularly and plural-ly experienced. People can, and often are miserable in the company of others; and in severe cases even more miserable in their own company. Romance can exercise the same inert amount of force pulling you back into being lonely, as it can exercise pulling you out of lonely. The truth of the matter is, all love, romantic or otherwise is not just non-diminishing, but nourishing and abundant; but Love cannot be observed to be infinite from a single-point. If you seek sight of the stars all day and night long, sooner or later you will eventually get lost in the woods. No matter how true your heart is, love stems from relating so if you re not expending effort to relate to this person you are not in love with a person, you re in love with your concept of how that person, (defined in your mind s eye as a person solely by their ability to fulfill your expectations), can t leave.. or at the very least owes you some favorable response or explanation for not sharing this feeling . Loving yourself won t get you loved. Worthiness won t get you loved. You have to be a person in your own right (self-sufficient) and your love has to be love in its own right too (not expectation-based). Bam! Suddenly someone else loves you - Be careful! Love determines the criteria by which to measure the acceptable from the unacceptable qualities of life, by native access to those qualities. Only once you re self-contained, self-sufficient, self-diminishing, will you chance upon self-liberation (freedom from your self, to be yourself).