The 5 Hidden Libido Killers

What They Are And How You Can Avoid Them!
The 5 Libido Killers


“The 5 Hidden Libido Killers: What They Are And How You Can Avoid Them!”
“What can ruin someone’s sex life?” I recently asked this question to an older gentleman friend of mine; his response was priceless: “Marriage.” I couldn’t help but laugh, given the fact that he’s a happily married man who still slow dances with his wife on their kitchen room floor after 35 years of marital bliss. I didn’t ask, but something tells me the magic is still alive and well in their sex life. For others, however, this is not the case. The magic of sex is gone. Some attribute “AWOL” libido to age – as with age comes a gradual loss in testosterone production for men; for women, sex drive decline is attributed to menopause and all that it entails (e.g. gradual decline in estrogen production, menstrual changes, hot flashes, mood changes, etc.). While there’s no doubt age can factor into sub-par sex, I know plenty of people who are well past their prime years, yet still have incredible sex lives. So age, to me, is something of a red herring. Others go far as to say that sex losing its luster affirms the notion that man is not meant to be monogamous. That it’s man’s natural instinct to want variety and the only way to keep the “sassy” in sexy is through a variety of “experiences,” shall we say. Again, this is another red herring, and not just because of its moral dubiousness. From a strictly factual perspective, millions of people spend their entire married lives practicing monogamy, but they find ways to keep their sex lives “live and kicking” by re-working their lifestyle habits. And that’s what I want to focus on – lifestyle. By re-working one’s lifestyle – really analyzing it to see where one can make changes in their work and home environment –can salvage one’s sex life and make it better than ever: regardless of age or decreased hormonal production. Before that can be done, however, we first need to pinpoint some of the things that could very well be ruining your sex life. So, without further ado, here are the five things that can ruin your sex life, in no particular order:

For Great Sex, De-Stress!
Easier said than done, right? Is there any one of us who isn’t stressed by something or someone at any given moment? Whether it’s one’s job situation, problems at home, children, finances, or concern over how to get to work in a snow storm, stress has a way of affecting everything about our lives (researchers from Germany and Canada say it can even make you itch!) It’s really no wonder, then, that study after study indicates how dramatically it affects libido levels. And it’s no 2 The 5 Libido Killers

mystery why: when the mind is constantly wrapped up in other matters, how can one concentrate on the matter at hand, namely, satisfying their husband or wife? The trick to de-stress is finding outlets in life that help you “get away.” There are a number of general ways, obviously, from yoga, to reading a good book, meditating or knitting. But there’s another way to increase sex drive while decreasing stress that may come as a surprise: just “do it.” That’s exactly what one couple did every day for 101 straight days – had sex every day for 101 straight days. In their book, “Just Do It: How One Couple Turned Off the TV and Turned On Their Sex Lives for 101 Days (No Excuses)” Douglas Brown recounts how and why he and his wife went about their marathon “sex-a-thon” and what resulted. In an interview with Ann Curry on the Today show last year, he said that he and his wife are now much more intimate with each other, touch each other far more often and are closer than they were before, despite both leading very active and demanding jobs that take up gobs of their time. Now, “touching more” may not seem like much of a stress-reducer, but according to Dr. James Coan, a professor of psychology at the University of Virginia, intimate relationships help ease anxiety. In a study of his, he found that even something as simple as holding hands can help allay stress. It may sound strange – having sex when you don’t necessarily feel like it – but one can’t always rely on their feelings before they do something (after all, how often do we “feel” like going to work? Or “feel” taking a shower? Or “feel” like brushing our teeth?). I think you’ll be surprised by how making an effort to have more sex with your spouse (not necessarily every day like Douglas Brown and his wife did, but more often) despite being tired, can decrease stress while increasing sexual drive.

Diet Downer
You probably knew this one was coming. It seems EVERYTHING is affected by one’s diet. Well, that’s because it’s true. As the host of an old infomercial once said, “How you eat today is how you look and feel tomorrow.” I think that may be one of the only worthwhile takeaway lines ever to be uttered by an infomercial salesperson. In any event, his oh-so-true statement applies to one’s sexual health. Here’s how: By eating ultra-processed, ultra-refined foods – the kind that won’t spoil for months after their “Sell By” date has long since passed – they increase insulin levels. And high insulin levels spell disaster for sex drive. Especially among women. Writing for U.S News & World Report, senior health writer Deborah Kotz writes how high insulin levels are particularly devastating for women, as high insulin levels spurs an overproduction of cortisol. Cortisol produces fat, particularly in the belly area. And as fat

The 5 Libido Killers


increases, the body’s natural hormone production (for men, testosterone; for women, estrogen) decreases. These hormones play a role in a number of ways in the body, but they’re fundamentally tied to sexual drive. With increased weight comes an increased chance of obesity, and as Duke researchers found in a study of theirs back in 2004 concerning weight and libido, 41 percent of obese people reported one or all of the following: being unsatisfied with their sexual experiences, avoiding sex entirely, losing their sex drive or problems performing. Get back to the basics when it comes to diet: fresh fruits and vegetables and quality protein.

Routine, Schmootine
It’s very easy to get caught in a routine, or to paraphrase the rock band U2, “stuck in a moment you can’t get out of.” Some routines are good – like going to bed around the same time every night or hitting the gym before you head off for work. But the same old, same old – in the bedroom, in particular – can be a relationship/sex life killer. Tired routines are especially stultifying if what your spouse is doing to satisfy your carnal desires is not really all that pleasurable. There are lots of ways to put the fizzle and sizzle back in the bedroom though routine alterations. You can certainly find some alteration suggestions online or through books, but one of the best and easiest ones I’ve come across is to change the scenery. Rent out a really nice hotel room for a night. What’s more romantic than a five-star hotel room decked with roses and tulips? Another tip – read up on some alternative “moves” to put on your spouse during sex. Remember that Seinfeld episode where Elaine’s boyfriend, David Putty, steals one of Jerry’s moves to use on Elaine during sex (“He stole my move!”)? When confronted by the aghast Jerry, who finds out his “move” was stolen through Elaine, the embarrassed Putty decides he’ll go back to his old routine, something that ultimately winds up disappointing Elaine. Now, I’m not suggesting you go out and steal your friend’s “move,” but I do recommend doing some investigation on a new, more exciting way to put passion back into action when it comes to sex. One other tip: try some “risky” sex, or more appropriately, “quickie” sex. Sex doesn’t have to be long to be great. So instead of establishing a block of time where you can have it (when the kids go to bed or on the weekend), make it up as you go. For instance, as you’re getting ready for work, how about a 10-minute tryst (even though you may wind up being late for work, hence the term “risky” sex)? Or when you’re hosting a party, try sneaking away for 15 to 20 minutes and “gettin’ it on” as Marvin Gaye used to croon. Variety is the spice of life – an oh-so true principle that applies to love as much as it does to life.


The 5 Libido Killers

Thoughts Precede Action
I’ve often heard the notion that men think about sex every minute. Or is it every seven seconds? Or is it every hour? Whatever it is, the myth – and I do believe it’s a myth – has been around for generations. While I don’t doubt the notion that men think about sex more often than women do, I don’t buy the number of times men think about sex in a given day. Because according to the Kinsey Institute – one of the oldest and most well-respected institutions that researches all things pertaining to sexual health – 54 percent of men think of sex every day, or at most several times per day, with 43 percent of men thinking about it occasionally throughout a given week. That’s a far cry from thinking about sex hundreds of times a day! It’s too bad that this is a myth, because as the saying goes, thoughts often (though certainly not always) dictate our actions. Studies indicate that men and women who are thinking highly sexualized thoughts during conversations are more sexually satisfied. This principle isn’t unlike what happens to a basketball player or baseball player once he gets “locked in the zone.” He sees the ball going over the fence or through the hoop, and his optimistic thoughts become reality. Alternatively, if he goes up to the batter’s box thinking he’ll strike out, or that he’ll miss the game-winning foul shot, more often than not, he will. Don’t underestimate the power of positive thinking, nor the importance of seeing your spouse or partner as a sexual being (in other words, not as the mother of your children, but as your wife or lover).

Hypertension Suspension
That’s right, high blood pressure can “suspend,” if you will, sex drive. This may come as a surprise, as one tends to think of hypertension as something that causes problems for cardiovascular health. Well cardiovascular health and sexual health are inextricably linked. Every part of the body needs a strong supply of blood flow. But blood flows less efficiently when someone has high blood pressure, and this affects the female and male sexual extremities. For instance, a man’s ability to get or retain an erection is compromised by high blood pressure; similarly, studies show that women with high blood pressure underperform in the bedroom. To rectify this situation, drug therapy is often chosen. But using drugs like beta-blockers to counteract hypertension and sexual dysfunction actually only compounds the issue, as one of the chief side effects of taking beta-blockers is impaired sexual function. The solution? Avoid hypertension altogether. This is what my book Low Pressure Sex is all about – how to avoid it, but also how to lower it naturally if it’s already high. Bear in mind Low Pressure Sex is more than a handbook on how high blood pressure affects your personal life and why we must take every precaution to avoid it. It’s more than a catalogue that chronicles the menagerie of studies showing how hypertension leads to other diseases like diabetes or heart disease. More than anything, Low Pressure Sex is your own personal lifestyle coach. The 5 Libido Killers 5

You’ll find all you need to know about how to get your blood pressure down naturally – like what are the best foods to eat, the best supplements to take and how to unburden yourself of overpriced, overhyped pharmaceutical drugs (for good!). In addition, you’ll find the “The tips found in Low Pressure Sex” and how it can positively affect blood pressure, my favorite de-stressing techniques, a highly detailed (but oh-so easy) plan on how to lower your blood pressure naturally, and a whole lot more! My life’s work is dedicated to how to increase energy and health levels naturally. Sexual health is just one of the many aspects of life that suffers when pharmaceutical drugs are taken – whether those drugs are treating emotional health (as in anti-depressants) or physical health (as in high blood pressure). When it comes right down to it, you don’t need drugs, particularly with regards to sexual health. Because by avoiding the aforementioned lifestyle pitfalls, you’ll be making wild “whoopee” for as long as you both shall live!

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The 5 Libido Killers

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