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Arthur Clark

Actions Arthur: hello me: hello 93 how are you ?? Arthur: 93/93 man... me: hows life ?? Arthur: alright. dealing with some BS!! me: Yea ? Arthur: my school wants to run a background check. they hire a third party co mpany to do the background check. the company I worked for hires a third party company to dispers background check information. the third party at the school keeps requesting contact information for my former employer, and every time they get referred to the third party site, and then it comes back to me. and it is my fault that the third party can't get in touch with the third party. they don't even call the company back to say the third party isn't working, they just refer it back to me. and I point this out, and say they need to contact the company and stop referrin g this to me, since it was not my issue to resolve, I am accused of showing poor form to BUiSNESS etiquette me: This is insane Arthur: the beuracracy basically exists to dissolve responsibility so they don't have to do anything. they can't make a fucking phone call, and ev en if I give them the number to call it is MY fault to make sure they keep calli ng. anyway, that is that bullshit... I am torn between basically fighting this, and kind of taking it...and I am basi cally done dealing with these people. they have the number of my boss, they nee d to CALL HIM and make sure he resolves the issue, and not just keep DUMBLY and STUPIDLY being referred. me: (one sec) Sent at 1:47 AM on Monday Arthur: they call, they get referred, and I give them the number...basically, it is a completely unintelligent process and it is my fault they can't make the phone call. BUREAUCRACY me: ok So ... this is rediculous Arthur: and now they basically want to say that I have a bad attitude for poin ting this out me: 1) Why does the school need a background check Arthur: because I am going to be teaching a class and, in fact, they are basically making me work for free and are not paying me u ntil the background check is complete which they refuse to intelligently complete me: oh god Arthur: basically... me: Well man ... t I had to reread your story actually because it didnt quite sink in the first tim

e Arthur: the problem is so bizarre me: I mean it is really. You couldnt make that shit up Arthur: basically, the secretary told me they don't want to have to track down my personal references...when I can't do a damn thing except give them the cont act information...so it is my fault. me: Private thrid parties ... lots of them and its your fault I mean ... what do they need to see though Arthur: they need some dipshit to say, yes, arthur worked at kdka me: why do they need to talk to your previous employer Why does that matter though where you worked. I think it only matters if you hav e a criminal record Arthur: there is really no reason for it, they basically just have to do it... I guess to make sure that I am not lying on my resume or something well, they want to establish that and that my background is not forged me: But that is all public record anyways. Do you have a W2 or something ? That shows that you have worked at a place Arthur: I had one, I don't have it anymore. Not sure how/where to get it back . me: Its as good as it gets for "proof of previous empolyment" I think you can just print that shit off of the IRS website or something maybe not Either way, its really stupid Arthur: basically. me: Why does it matter ? Arthur: I don't know...man because they can't hire me until it is complete me: Who gives a damn if you worked at KDKA before ? Arthur: I don't know. They just have to do this. me: And why should this have any bearing on whether you can be hired = And you arent even being hired, if you arent being paid AND Arthur ... I must say You have VERY poor form to BUSINESS !!! hahaha Arthur: UGHHHHHHHHHHHH god damn it. me: It sounds really frustrating actually - sorry to hear that you are dealing with that Arthur: I know. My buisness tone is inappropriate. I am not supposed to tell them to call them back and to use the numbers provided, and that this was their responsibility to do so. oh well!!! fuck it. they are dumb bitches. thanks...how are things for you? thigns otherwise are good here... me: I really cannot stand the "business" model Arthur: my school has offically reclaimed its name that the BUISNESS took away for it, btw me: Well, things are kind of shitty here. I havent got paid yet. I hate this d ump I live in And I have no freinds here Arthur: as ISPP, the Illinois school of professional psychology, after years o f arguing with professors that blows, I'm sorry me: Its what you get when you move man Arthur: I saw your guitar stuff, that sounded good. But I'm sorry that's wher e you are at.

What happened with that girl? me: Its just what happens. Every time ive ever moved cities, ive had this shi t happen I havent talked to her So nothing Well Erica is coming on Tuesday,so that will be nice But I have no car, I have no life, and my apartment is a peice of shit and I hav eno money and unlike in the USA, the apartments are all socialized ... so I cant just go r ent one, unless I go through their bs state system OR I can BUY one with a LOAN from the BANK !!!! So thats my situation. I spent today being very pissed off Arthur: god damn it fucking hell me: I know man Arthur: yeah, SOCIALISM is also very evil me: Its like moving to HICKORY HILLS ! and having nothing Arthur: socialism, capitalism, both equally frauds, cavort crazily around the globe. me: Exactly They are ... Arthur: both are basically some fat-cat bitch controlling the society and maki ng everyone a peasant you know, in old europe, you had to have permission to leave your fifedom, to ch ange houses same thing... me: People in America love to talk about "socialism", but none of them have li ved in a socialist country ugh ... you basically still have to get permission to leave your fifedom here unless .... you BUY !!!!!!! BUY BUY BUY with your electronic loans and electroni c money Modern money - "emoney" - is nothing more than a control grid meant to subvert t he individual spirit Arthur: basically. america idealizes Japan, but Japan is a completely sociali st bitch me: yes Arthur: that place controls everything me: So is sweden. This place is socialist as all fuck too Japaannn Arthur: time to find a place in the wilderness me: These nations man... are such fucks And this political system is corrupt everywhere. It is honestly, just a bunch of corrupt fools I want a bitch Arthur: basically me: I could call that girl I met at the bar the fat black woman Arthur: paul clark, master of egotism, approving 5th degrees...making sure the y have a small enough ego to pass by...hahaha me: Does that guy really approve 5th degrees ?? Dude, you are never going to make it past 5th degree then Arthur: YES me: NOOOOOOO!!!!!! oh fucking god Arthur: and they have to make sure 5th degrees don't have too much EGO!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! the BLACK BROTHER!!!!!! approving the 5th degree! me: Ego is BADD man

he is a black brother man Arthur: ego is necessary, but not getting trapped by it too much is important. .. UGH oh well so...I'm not sure what to do with the world. it is basically fucked me: Yea Arthur: the beuracracy absolves responsibility, the government and the banks u se it, nothing is their fault, they get to screw screw screw me: Right ... Business is the 4 of Swords Arthur: and you either have to be part of the system, or be disenfranchized like the BUM me: UGH At least there are no bums here The FOUR or SWORDS !!! ... the four arms of business Arthur: the banker, the judge, the duke, and the priest me: Money, bureaucracy, hierarchy, guilt= Arthur: dictating money, law, brutal enforcement, and morality me: yes And people dont see it as that Arthur: it's like they buy into the system me: Right Arthur: they do buy into the system... me: Exactly Arthur: they don't see that it is basically corrupt to the core me: They define themselves by it And if you say anything about "the system" you are labeled as being a non-confor mist human Arthur: the system basically uses one system to make the social structure, whi le it works another system which allows it to do whatever they want me: The outer and inner courts Arthur: like the Bishops allow the priests to be pedophiles, and protect them me: UGHHH Arthur: the cops basically abuse people the banks create a system where you get sucked into the drain the company uses a system that makes you subserviant to it, and if you participa te it's by their rules while the game is fixed meinwhile, the officers at the lodge at AUM HA like to play games where they sti ck needles up their penisues while pretending to be sweedish chef from the muppe ts... one of them has already invoked the holy guardian angel, after 3 years of study me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! what the fuck !!!!!!! That is just delusional man Arthur: basically me: I feel as if these people have no understanding of magick Arthur: Chris, who considers himself an adept, talks about how he invokes spir its and teaches them how to read. he is not an officer, just a bumbling fool me: But they in turn USE the degree system in order to enforce their false sup eriority over lesser members Arthur: basically. and they have no understanding of what they are doing. me: Right ... Arthur: there is no test for advancement. me: That is the problem really. There needs to be some way of testing this stuff Arthur: there is, and it is called A.'. A.'. me: yes well of course

The student grade is a long hard bitch I am still finishing that shit up Arthur: yeah...that is enough to basically exclude 99 percent of all who want to apply most oto people haven't read jack. me: right, because you have to do it for years The student grade is really, years of constant work Arthur: the readings for the student grade are, yes. me: reading the equinox Arthur: to really understand everything that is supposed to be read for that i s me: oh well that is much more than years of work Arthur: it's ok, you can invoke the holy guardian angel in 3 years easily me: I mean. I don't understand the book of the law Arthur: just make up a bunch of shit and claim it I don't either. me: I "understand" a few lines here or there But it really becomes more clear to me after the years of my relationship with t he book that it is not operating with the conventional mechanisms of understandi ng Arthur: I agree me: It somehow has some higher form of organization Arthur: yes me: All of the class A literature does really but especially Liber AL And when you expose yourself to this material, it sinks into your sould Arthur: yes... me: "For the reading of that which follows is Recorded" Arthur: ? from the history lection? me: yes I always found that line very interesting Arthur: it is... me: Ugh ... why is my experience so abyssmal right now Arthur: not sure man... me: Fuck the PhD man That shit is ... well Its something It is really not easy at all Arthur: it's not. me: The beginning is really harsh man You just get slammed into that shit and there is so much work to do I am somehow just supposed to understand everything Arthur: yes... me: And that is really frustrating too Arthur: understand the book of the law NO NOW me: NOOOO Its just not possible Arthur: basically me: Did you have this experience when you started this shit ? Just kind of a ... general dysphoria towards the immensity of the work ? Arthur: yes I kind of do now... graduate school is a bitch me: yea it really is

The structure of it sucks Its good but it sucks also. Arthur: yes. me: I am learning a lot, but at the same time I am not too thrilled with it I am just kind of taking to it with passive indifference And honestly the WORST aspect of my reality is the lack of women bar none ... that is the worst aspect of my experience Arthur: ...basically women are great. me: it is terrible a hell I realize that women are a NEED Arthur: having no women sucks me: why dont I have any women ... Arthur: because sitri is still waiting to be evoked me: Well I have a better answer But that is a good one Arthur: oh? me: Yes Because I am sitting in a fucking lab for 10 hours a day And I come home and am tired as all fuck thats why Arthur: yeah makkes sense. being tired blows donkey ass I hate fatigue more than anything me: I am so glad that erica is coming to this place For a few weeks I think that her being here will really help Arthur: me: But being tired does blow donkey ass I HATE how people here have these fucking relationships in fact I ... HATE relationships period Because I talk with these women.... then they talk about their stupid boyfriend Arthur: ugh me: And I just lose 100% interest Arthur: fuck me: Like, thanks for disqualifying yourself sexually Arthur: ...as mystery says, when she says she has a boyfriend, it means that s he might not be ready to cheat on him yet, or it means that she wants you to be understanding of her limitation in haivng a boyfriend me: Right Arthur: so to be discreet or it means she really won't cheat on him. it is a kind of disqualification though, and very very frusterating for sure me: I think so It makes me just fucking angry ... like I take absolutely zero interest in your goddamn boyfriend Arthur: I was told by psychologists that it often means that the person actual ly is interested in you, but they are showing that they are limited. me: the FOUR !

of limitation I like 5s Arthur: there was a girl in pittsburgh that kept doing that with me, and event ually she tried to seduce me...and I wish I had gone with it, but it really was that situation...she was just saying "hey, I have this thing over here, I'm not quite sure if I also feel comfortable with fucking you...yet" me: I feel so bad about women right now man Like, I just am so tired of this Arthur: tell me why u feel bad? me: Because I dont have any Arthur: what does that mean? me: And I am not used to not having any Arthur: I know what it means for me, I am trying to figure out exactly what it means when you say it... me: It means that I dont feel like I have that important connection with a wom an Arthur: how do you feel when you don't have any? me: That I NEED in order to be happy Arthur: and what does that say about you? that you don't feel you have it? me: I feel ... invalid ?? Arthur: does that say about you, to you ok. yeah, that would feel pretty invalidating... me: It tells me that I need women more than I thought I did Like I am in a fucking foreign county Nobody here really seems to interested in me Maybe they are But it doesnt matter because I just fucking work all the time. So I dont have any time to really fix the problem Where do I go to meet women ? Arthur: idk. it sucks. me: I mean do you understand this problem ? Arthur: it is easier to get women if you already have them. you feel valid al ready. but without any... me: Right Arthur: it gets more difficult. there are not enough. and that says somethin g about you, it feels like. me: I have the EXACT same experience Arthur: even though, obviosly, you are valid. me: Right, the invalidity is a psychological construction Arthur: (I can't type worth a shit because the keyboard/screen thing keeps fuc king up and making glitches) me: np Sent at 2:51 AM on Monday Arthur: yeah...the situation sucks because you need it to get it, and if you d on't have it you can't get it. me: Why is that the case ? Arthur: because we forget that we have had success, and that we have been vali d. it just doesn't feel that way anymore. me: Right Because we look at the situation now, and think in terms of linear time today ... tomorrow etc Arthur: not to say that that cures the problem of not having a pussy to fuck, but... that's another problem, i.e. that of the hornyness of the body. we are talking about something else here, I think... me: Right I think so...

Well I have the Tarot to ask I suppose Arthur: can you say anything more about linear time? that was an interesting idea... me: Ok sure Arthur: trying to wrap my mind about it...sounds like something I read in taoi st literature me: The natural manner of time is more cyclic than linear. Physcially, we define time in terms of frequencies .. or cycles E.g. the clock hand goes around the clock, denoting time in cycles The electric field oscillates in cycles We measure time by counting cycles Now, there is the cycle of women then too. Just as well In your history, there have been cycles of women. Times o depravity, and times o f plentitude Arthur: the path of kaph me: Right, the Wheel Fortune Arthur: hmm me: Jupiter etc. Now Life plays out in LONG cycles acutally and some short, like days Some long ... like over many years Now ... when in a long cycle, we tend to project the current state out linearly in time, so that what is today seems like it will be forever Of course it will not be forever. But it feels like it will be so. The error of this projection is that it acts to prolong the cycle or the stage of the cycle that you are working on Arthur: THAT needs to be written down "The error of this projection is that it acts to prolong the cycle, or the stage of the cycle that you are working on." because that's the essential problem. me: yes I think so Arthur: very interesting... Sent at 3:01 AM on Monday me: Thus we have the answer. When in plenum, plenum tends to continue by virtu e of the fact of its inertial Arthur: YES me: When in depravity, depravity tends to continue by the virtue of the fact o f its inertia Arthur: UGH yes the trick is moving through depravity quickly, and to plenum longwise me: Yet, neither of these will last unto eternity as this is natural law Arthur: in a sense...it is kind of the trick of the True Will...the natural te ndency tends to return, because the wheel is best balanced when this is elevated me: Yea And the goal is to see through the cycles, to see plenum and depravity as two si des of our lovely coin Arthur: assuming that true nature is being expressed, which is not a weakness but a strength which naturally reeps me: Yes But, recall Liber Librae "Rejoice thou who hast trials and troubles, for in them there is stregnth" If there was plenum all the time, then all I would do is drink and fuck !!! Arthur: hah, basically me: And if there was only depravity, I would jump out the window

So this is a way of seeing things Arthur: yes. both are part of the true nature http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_5YdXO1VT8 Aleister Crowley-The Pentagram this is one of my favorite poems, read by Crowley himself