Matt Taylor

CHANGE
CHANGE YOURSELF AND YOU WILL CHANGE YOUR WORLD
To create the life you want, there must be a desire to change within. This essential book provides you with the best tools for true transformation in order to build the best version of you and therefore contribute to a better world. If you want fulfillment, crave freedom and yearn for happiness, then this is the book choice for you. Graham Williams, Founder, CEO and Board Director of several multinationals.

I WANT TO

The Matt Taylor Experience www.thematttaylorexperience.com

Published by The Matt Taylor Experience www.thematttaylorexperience.com I Want to Change By Matt Taylor Copyright  2011 Matt Taylor. All rights reserved. This work is registered with the UK Copyright Service. No part of his book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher. Every effort has been made to ensure that this book is free from error or omissions. However, the Publisher, Author, the Editor, or their respective employees or agents, shall not accept any responsibility for injury, loss or damage occasioned to any person acting or refraining from action as a result of material in this book whether or not this injury, loss or damage is in any way due to any negligent act or omission, breach of duty or default on the part of the Publisher, the Author, the Editor, or their respective employees or agents. Production and cover art by Nicole Sidoti First Edition

“I want to change. I can change.” David Ghiyam
With deepest heartfelt thanks, appreciation and love for my mother Janis, my father Michael, my family, my friends, Marcus, Yehuda, Mali, Fhernando, Ruth, everyone at ‘The Centre’ and David Ghiyam For all who yearn…

Contents
Chapter 1: Connection
Break open old behaviours Plug into our new life Yearning and the true us High speed connection to the life we desire The resonation of truth

Chapter 2: Transformation
Change: Wanting it and having it Change and certainty Breaking limitations: Faking ourselves out of ourselves Surrendering to everything Take out the rubbish inside us

Chapter 3: Action
Constancy of purpose The small ripple of initial change The energy of actions No time to waste Dealing with our ego

Chapter 4: Manifestation
An open inclusion to the process When change gets hard The arrival of our manifestation Appreciation and control in our new life Taking change to the next level: Share and repeat

Chapter 1: Connection

Break open old behaviours
We live in a personal universe. In this personal universe there are two worlds. These two worlds were made with a marvellous, sensational, almighty bang. These two worlds spin inside of us creating a beautiful, perfectly designed, harmonised synchronicity. One world is full of happiness, joy, fulfilment and ultimate desire. This world is where we find peace of mind, dignity and love. The other world is where love does not live. This world has negativity. This is the world where we find anger, jealousy, resentment, pride, laziness and procrastination. These two worlds control our lives and we often live out our lives with complete misunderstanding of how they affect us. What we want to ultimately do to win this life is understand and control these influences. We want to change. We want to change how our worlds inside take over our lives, and instead, we want to take over the worlds and gain control of who we are on the inside. We want to change from trying to change the outside, to changing the inside, and then ultimately getting what we want in this life. We want to change who is running our personal universe. For many people, life is a series of little waves. We go up and have a good day then, and we dip a little and have a bad day. We have good moments that stand out and occasional bad moments where we have some struggles. Obviously there are extreme cases, but these lives are few and far between. The average person has a ripple life. Every day we can have a multitude of opportunities, breakthroughs, options, choices, ideas, strokes of genius and thoughts of absolute brilliance. We all have talents, ambitions, goals and desires. We have the wonderful moments of truth inside us that seem to halt. We have a head full of giddiness with excitement. The second we stop and think about the clarity of purpose, it’s gone. Time is our biggest opponent in life. Time creates a gap between brilliance and doubt. Time is an illusion when uncertainty creeps in and kills that spark of our true selves. As David Ghiyam said, “We want to change. We can change.” It’s a calling to connect, inject certainty into change, uncover our dreams, act and manifest. There is no time to waste. This book has no overview, foreword, introduction or long discourse. This book will not set any scene or take us back to where it all began. This book has a purpose. Its work is to crack on with the job of creating a better version of us to make a better world removed of judgement and fear. This has an urgency. The world cannot wait any longer for our time to shine. The time for the new version of us is now. The urgency for this version has arrived.

The beginning of this book represents the dawn. The end of the dark, the cold and the night is breaking. The moment has come to really press on with change and all the wonder and splendour that can come with a few brave steps and the want for new results. These new results promise us fulfilment and happiness. The dawn has come and the light is shining. This light brings us the tool for connection. This connection is with the new and true essence of us. In the decision to create the new, connect and demand better results for ourselves and the world, we have also opted to finish the cycle. This cycle is similar to the light of day and dark of night. We intend to look at the dark and have a look at the behaviour that holds us back. The behaviours that exist in every action, though which we are unaware. The dark is just as important to accept and investigate as the light. The dawn needs darkness and the burst of rays. One does not exist without the other. We need to make sure we have a firm grip on those little actions and negative, destructive cycles. It needs to be as firm in our minds as during our journey to the new life, they will return to give us hassle. They won’t let go so easily. We have to break open these old behaviours, hold them up to our eye, look at them very closely, study how they work and know these little bubbles of darkness as well as we know the sparks of light. They are part of us as surely as the dark is part of the sunrise. Try at this moment to think of the times we decided we were not good enough, we were being abandoned, we weren’t wanted or we would end up alone. Before we move on to uncovering these bubbles of darkness it must be spelled out that this book is not for people just looking for a little hope, wish or motivation. This is not a story with little gloves to protect us. This does not offer positive thinking, laws of attraction or simple lists of easy ways. This book does not promise a feel good thrill to make us smile for the sake of looking happy. This book is for those seeking genuine happiness, fulfilment and change. This takes work, actions and real consistency to do some hard tasks. We are here to make a call for a real change. This change won’t make us feel ‘buzzy’ for two days and then back to normal. This change is a deep, sustaining transformation. Above all, this book is an absolute commitment to us and our new lives. Life is not so much about ‘the higher they rise, the further they fall’. This thought is important to remind us to continue to do the best thing we can when we reach a better place in our lives. However, a great thing is also to invert this saying. Hold on to the fact that ‘the further we fall, the higher we’ll rise.’ Hold on to the reminder that darkness gives us opportunity and better things to come. We have all created some bad situations in our lives, and now

we have the chance to demonstrate our soul-muscle by pushing our way out and bounce up to the light. In the great design of the universe, effort is recognised. The universe recognises that it was harder for a highly stressed person with five children to contribute time for someone else, harder for an unemployed person in financial difficulty to contribute to charity and harder for a depressed person to make someone laugh and appreciate what we have. When we start to show effort in our darkness, the universe gives us a ‘big bang’ and propels us into light. When we are in a place of darkness, bad times, hardship or struggle, then we need to do what we feel least comfortable in order to begin transforming our situation. So having made it clear now that we need to look at the dark, the rubbish, and the uncomfortable, let’s press on. Let’s have a look at the ways we can unearth some of these blockages, why we have them and how to keep them at bay when they want to keep us beneath the lid we are under. These are the blockages that are the little voices, the doubt makers and the time wasters. We are about to end their masked existence and bring them out into daylight. The important thing is to not let them control us, but also, not to get upset when we start to see them. When we discover our blocks, we are not to react, we are just to acknowledge, be aware and watch for them. Remember that this book is committed to us and our new life and will not let us go, and will give reminders all the way through and bring up cautions when needed. There is no right or wrong, pass or fail, good or bad, just moments when we might need to check ourselves and keep going. The darkness, the blocks and negative behaviours transpire at all times and mostly go unnoticed. They are fears, uncertainty, low self-esteem, inactivity, self-absorption, jealousy, judgement and the list goes on. They don’t have to be voiced or articulated. They can exist in our head and generally do. To anyone outside of our own head, these destructive blockages don’t even exist, however these silent deal breakers have all the power. The struggle with the boss, the judgement of the person opposite us on the train, the jealousy of the neighbours, the great thoughts we have that never are enacted, the indecision about how to behave at a party, the deprecation about how we look and all the negativity we take as normal. We know what they are and yes, they are now starting to become very clear in our mind.

Activity
Grab a blank piece of paper. Divide it into 10 by folding in half one way and then into five the other. In those 10 spaces write one block, reaction or negative behaviours. Some examples to help are, “I get angry when…”, “When s/he… I react with …”, “If something doesn’t go my way, I ….” Now let’s look at those behaviours and have a think about the impact they may have had on us, on others and on our life. How do they reflect on us? Is this how we want others to know us for? Is this filling us with excitement about life? Are they fulfilling us? What’s important is not to react to these behaviours. Just look at them and observe them. Remain detached from them. Now, tear along the lines. Crush each one in our hands and throw them. Each week, reflect up the seven days and the times when we were doing things we could improve. Do this in privacy. If we’re not in privacy now, do this activity later, but read on. Remember, there is no time to waste. We will go deeper into the rubbish a little later in the book, too. Congratulations! We’re cleaning out our cupboards and flushing our pipes from blockages and rubbish, and letting space in for the new us to flow with our true essence.

Plug into our new life
Chapter one throws us in the deep end a little, however, not without this book standing watching us with a little support from the sides. The idea of the beginning is to get us to have a good look at the dark, negative and rubbish parts first as this will give us something to work and develop. It’s not to say we won’t start to snap when someone snaps at us. However, it opens a space for us to start to notice, observe and chip away at these old behaviours that have caused destruction and start to rebuild. This entire part of change requires us to talk about how we connect. This first part of the book’s four part process is about connection. The second chapter throws some ideas around about the person we would like to be. This chapter is about plugging into ourselves. Who is it we want to be in this process of change? Connection is about how we plug into ourselves and the proactive energy we have already inside. If we can remove the instant, thoughtless, meaningless reactions and plug into the strong, controlled and real proactively, we start to ignite a special something. Let’s not get too far ahead ourselves and think about how we see our lives just yet. Leave the four-bedroom holiday house for a little later on the book. It’s a good desire and there’s nothing wrong with it. In fact, change requires an end result, however at this point we are focussed on other things. We are focused on something we spend little time looking at the floor, the building blocks and the ground work for things to come. We want to start to spark a little bit of energy. Energy is connection. Connection is within you, it’s your true essence. The true us that often lives just a breath away. It is often as simple as that. Yes, a breath. No need for any counselling process, deep thought or hundreds of self-help books. Just take one breath and there the true essence of us exists. It is easier said than done, however, it is important to know that this amazing energy and connection to power is absolutely within. One of the initial steps to a new life with fulfilment and a picture of success is to accept that we have come to an end of a well told story. The way stories in our lives always have come to finality. We accept that we are looking down the barrel of the last time we are going to react in the same way with the same rubbish. This is our possibility we create in empowering ourselves with a new finish. Letting go of our traditional feelings, reactions and ways of working is the

most difficult and challenging work on earth we will ever do. It is harder than anything we can imagine. To let go, understand and decide new actions in our lives is something we can come to terms with very slowly but with resounding results. The idea that we control feelings, reactions and stories in our lives is a profound idea. It sounds simple but it is earth-shattering in its power. If we can choose today, right now, at this moment to undertake a life of connection to our power and energy, then we will create the story of the new life we want. Without any effort, the new life we want to plug into will begin to happen. Slowly but surely we will come to notice ways of reacting to situations that have led to an almost certain outcome. There are massive amounts of ways we react to things on a deeply ingrained level that produce the same result. Let’s peel back the onion and open ourselves to what we truly desire. Low levels of energy can relate directly to how reactive we have been and how much rubbish we have built up. Mild to moderate depressive states, anxiety and high stress can be indicated through certain reactive behaviours. These indicators will include under or over eating, being easily angered or irritated, inability to sleep well, can’t concentrate on work or activities, discomfort in social situations, a tendency to fluster easily around people, financial over-spending or snapping at loved ones. We can also feel sadness, a lack of interest in life, low self-esteem and poor self-image inside. Reactions cause a disconnection. The disconnection from our true self and the life we really want to live start to affect our results and remove us further and further away from the goals we want to achieve and the challenges we want to overcome. This distance causes a spiralling effect of low energy and dissatisfaction in life. Once we start to remove rubbish and replace it with love, patience, kindness, sharing, joy, laughter, understanding, unconditional acceptance and these kinds of approaches, we reveal big, proactive energy. We are now starting to understand the concept of claiming back our life and removing judgement, fear and chaos. We can start to understand that just a little short distance away is a massive opportunity. We all have an energy that is covered in some rubbish. Remove and reveal! That’s what we need to do to move our next step forward.

Activity
We covered a lot of ground in this chapter and introduced a lot of new ideas. The book will delve deeper into these in later chapters. The book won’t let us go. At this point let’s bring it back to the essence of this chapter which was to plug in. To start to plug into the real essence and get our true self shining, we need to take a breath. Each time someone starts a conversation with us or we start one with someone else, take a deep breath. It does not have to be loud. It can be just quietly to ourselves. Do it especially when someone is talking to us with frustration, anger, panic, fear or in any way reactive. The breath will reveal the true essence and stop us from engaging in rubbish. We will retain and grow. It does not matter if we forget and end up being reactive. We can start again and have another go as many times as we need. Breathe.

Yearning and the true us
In the effort to connect with our true selves, a very powerful tool is yearning. The moment we create a desire, the passion, drive and craving for this to happen is what will help propel us forward. The yearning for our true desire and what we want will undoubtedly begin to kick start a connection and help us especially in the moments of challenge. To connect back to our true selves, as we discovered in the last chapter, is not such a distance, however in between the short distance between the reactive-self and the true-self is jammed packed with unwanted bits. Every time we hit a bit of a wall all these bits, rubbish and reactions flare like a big flame and overtake any chance of our peaceful, tranquil, loving selves to be revealed. Let’s imagine that our true desire is to be in a loving, peaceful household and a wonderful family. Each time we step through the door the children are loud, the partner is upset, we are tired and there is a visitor from the neighbourhood who is always negative and looming. The children are fighting with each other over a toy, the partner is trying to appease the children and lift the spirits of the neighbour in an emotionally drained state and we just want the happy, quiet state. Most of us react to this. We would do something passive like ignore the children, become the pleaser trying to calm the neighbour or avoid confrontation with the partner. We could also become aggressive and yell at the children, tell the neighbours to leave and have an argument with the partner. None of these options truly solve the problem. Why do none of these solutions solve the problem and fail to help us with the desire? Not because of the result. Sure, maybe the children do quieten, the neighbour smiles and leaves and the partner has returned from the brink of hysteria. That’s a result right? Well. It’s a result and not bad but it’s not the result. The fact of the matter, our reactions have made the situation away from our desire. We have controlled the external situation, and situated ourselves internally in a place that lacks control. Yearning is such a powerful tool as it brings out the desire and also who we want to be in achieving that desire. Most self-help books will tell us it’s all about the journey and to think positively and it will happen. That’s great and, in part, correct. However, it is not all of the corrections we require. It is not about the destination, the result, the journey and the thoughts of positivity alone. This is why most self-help books are a lovely read but never fully connect with us and our true selves. We need to also add in the ingredients

of yearning, connecting with our true selves and who we want to be on the journey. Amongst pain, hatred, fear, loss, anger, guilt and other such negative emotions, it becomes very easy for us to lose the power of our internal control and yearning for who we want to be. We can look for very short terms answers and quick, easy ways to then heal us of our problems which can often heighten the negativity. Looking for simple remedies through hurting others, over-indulging, gossiping and other such behaviours to boost our own esteem in fact bolsters the issue and detaches us from our true selves even further. For connection back to our love, vitality, creativity, joy and fearless behaviour, we must return to a space without limitation. We must open our hearts to conceive a world without boundaries. These boundaries can be physical and personal. It is possible to heal our hearts by closing the gap with the ones with whom we feel the pain. Perhaps not always directly with the person, but at least in our minds, we must bring ourselves to hold unconditional love and in fact appreciation for their actions. The love and appreciation for what lesson they have taught us and how that strengthened us as human beings will heal the damage. While revenge, jealousy and rage can drive our reactions, once we establish a firm footing in the world of love and gratitude, their actions will hold no power over us and we can carry on regardless defusing our stress and regaining proactive actions and certainty in our lives. We need to allow ourselves that one breathe and keep remembering how good it is have known the lesson. Let’s take an opportunity to look at a quick example. Pretend we have an older brother. As a child he gave us a very hard time. He picked on us, made us do all his chores, blamed us for everything, made up lies about us and pestered us. We can hold a grudge and live our life in that fear. We can hold on that negativity and be a victim all our life. The choice is in our mind. We can thank him for making us a stronger person and gave us tremendous character to push through hard times. Without that experience we would not be a resilient, ambitious person. Forgive quickly and turn things into our opportunity to grow and be positive. To go back to the example of the family, it is important to realise that it is not a peaceful, loving, calm, positive family environment for which we are yearning. And, here is the boom! It is in fact calm, peaceful, loving, true self for which we yearn. Another person could see a whole different situation when entering our house. In fact, they might see a vibrant, action packed family and think it is wonderful. We see in a situation something we yearn to have in ourselves.

The reactive self has created a disconnect from the true self and has resulted in our environment. That is why when we connect back to our true selves all of a sudden the situation changes. We have injected, empowered and gained our control into our lives and it has then provided a better chance of a nicer result. It is not to say that there will not be challenges along the way. The challenges will come to test our resolve of true self and we can welcome those challenges to remind, help and support us in our growth and change. Now, let’s do a small recap: to help us connect we firstly identify some rubbish we want to clear, secondly allow a breath and not to react and here we learned to yearn for who we want to be. Change is not easy but it is rewarding and the book is here to remind us of whom we really are, give some tips and activities, and go over what we have learned.

Activity
The first activity was to write down 10 things each week we could have handled better and then detach and throw them away. The second is to take a breath every time we are in a situation that might make us react. That person just pushed in front of me in the line! Stop, breath and then act. The third activity here is to choose two situations involving people. It might be our home, work, friends, sports group or social club. Think about those situations and some of the negative aspects that really make us feel uncomfortable. Are they gossiping, aggressive, jealous, lacking confidence, shy, awkward or any behaviours that cause a problem among that team or group? Write or put in the mind two situations and their related negative aspects. Now, start to think about the behaviour we bring to the table in those areas. Have we been like that on occasion? Is that something we really want to be known for? Now have a think about the people we would love to be in those groups. Would we prefer to be supportive, helpful, confident, positive, encouraging, unconditionally loving, and appreciative? Choose three kinds of actions we want to be for the two situations. Now say, I want the possibility to be an open, honest and loving friend or I want the possibility to be a supportive, caring and patient parent. ‘I want the possibility to …’ will start something moving on the inside moving for us. Now, the trick is just to be it. We don’t want to write a diary entry, talk about it, send an email or anything. We just are going to start to ‘be it’.

High speed connection to the life we desire
As we said at the beginning of the book, we are not here to waste time. If we have read up to this point and followed even one of the activities then we are already well on the way to creating change. Even one change in one aspect will start the process of connection to the true self and the life we truly want to live. We are creating a better version of us. The version of us that yearns to fulfil desires. We want to make sure that we are locking the seal on change and that we do not allow space or gaps to enter in and stop us from making more. If we have not made one change do not raise an alarm, our rubbish and blocks are super at quickly becoming a little tougher to move as we get stronger. So, hold on in there. What we want to do is increase the speed of change. If we grow content with a few changes and then think that is enough that is actually our voice telling us we can stop. This is not the case. This is the same voice that has stopped us before in creating the lives for which we yearn. The voice is hard to stop however the book is now bringing the voice to our awareness and that gives us the power back. In just being aware that our rubbish has a voice, we are empowered to bring the control back within and the strength to hear it, know it, silence it and clear it. The voice of our rubbish will say that it is getting too hard, that it is boring, that we are not worth it, that the book is not working and even create some little distractions like ‘ time for a cup of tea’ to lift us right off the track of true self-fulfilment. The rubbish inside is a tough cookie, hard opponent and sneaky adversary. The book will come back to the way it pops back in and remind us that the voice of the rubbish is there to keep us as we are. Another tool we can use to speed up the connection to our true selves is to be aware of gaps. Gaps are great tools for calming our reactive nature and striking our true selves into action. The book has already introduced us to the power of a gap. In the second chapter, the book asked us to take a breath when we are in a reactive situation or feel as though the control is outside of us and not within. When we want to connect to inner power we open a gap with our use of one breath. However, when we want to be proactive and already in a strong, controlled state we want to close the gap. When we feel in control of situation and ready to strike with our love, free will, open heart and confidence, it is time to deliver the proactive nature within. Let us say we enter a room and there is an argument. The second we step into the room someone points the finger at us and blames us for something. This

is the time when reactivity is inflamed and we want to create a gap with one breath to allow our true selves to step in. However, let us say it is Saturday night and we are out with friends. Let us also say for example we are single and we have not dated for a while. We notice a person just behind us who is looking gorgeous and the more we see of the person the more appeal starts to grow. We want to say hi, share a compliment and introduce ourselves. In that second is time to go for it to close the gap. However, we pause instead and immediately the voice of our garbage starts to rumble on in and chatters away. ‘We are going to embarrass ourselves’, ‘we won’t be liked’ or ‘we don’t stand a chance.’ The truth is we never gave ourselves a chance and doubt sets in. Opportunities arise not so we can achieve a result. The gorgeous person was not there so that we could be married by the end of the night. The person was there as an opportunity for us to activate our true self. The person was waiting for us to share our true essence. That was the main thing; we allowed ourselves to close a gap and strike into proactivity. The problem here is that we can destroy moments of opportunity by listening to the wrong voice. In those moments or gaps in our lives, we need to let the true essence of our positive, creative, loving selves shine through. Often we hear the wrong voice and go with our destructive, negative and repetitive selves never creating an opportunity for real growth and success. A good piece of thought here is to think, ‘What do I always do in this situation?’, and then do the opposite. Mobile phones, planes, emails, social media and images all bring us into a world where we are connected on a global scale like never before. This recent phenomenon has brought us witness to people doing amazing feats and also our dearest loved ones away on holidays. We can speak to anyone for whom we care almost instantaneously or meet new people who live half the world away. There can be times when our communication can be at such a great volume that it confuses us into thinking that we are connected, in touch and relating to people in our lives. However, we have our hearts closed and our minds shut. Deep inside the true essence is not speaking and the ego is doing all the chatting without listening to the reality around us. Reaching out to people who are in our closer circles and beginning to share who we really are and what we are truly experiencing, starts to close the gap. Through the simple act of sharing thoughts, time, a meal or whatever we have to give with the intention and consciousness of the true essence inside starts to bring people powerfully into our lives on a new, exciting

and meaningful level. Open our heart, speak our true mind and take the opportunity to just be will bring us our desires. When we act on our true selves we bring people in to our world. The gap between us and the people in our lives closes in and our true selves becomes like a snowball. The closer people are to us the happier and more fulfilled we become. This in turn attracts people who are fulfilled, happy and proactive into our circle which bolsters our true self even further. The more people like this in our lives, the higher the plug in speed to the real person within becomes, more changes can take place and more opportunities to change we seek.

Activity
This chapter is about striking while our iron is hot. We said from the outset that we have no time to waste. This is a chapter that really nails this point and exposes us to how our negativity can seep in and how proactivity can lead to the change we want. Today we are going to start a conversation with someone we don’t know. We are going to see an opportunity in a line, at work, in the street to speak to someone and have a conversation in which we are interested totally in them; ask questions, listen carefully and share things regarding topics they want to talk about. We are going to close the gap today with one person. Of course, we are not going to leave it to one. Once we have done it once, we will do it three times in that same week. Also, every time we think something good about our loved ones, close friends and inner circle we are going to email, pick up the phone, say it or share it somehow. Enjoy the three conversations and sharing good thoughts. See what type of response is given back and also how it makes us feel inside.

The resonation of truth
The first initial stage of this book has been packed with little parcels for us to receive. Each parcel is helps to dispose of the outer layers and bring the deeper, inner voice and true self higher and closer to the surface. The first part of getting to know the true self is to start to connect with the real person inside who yearns to live life on a level that we feel exists. The level of life for which yearn want to be unveiled taking away the struggle. We yearn to be properly connected to the true self so that we can endure through all challenges along the way. We are capable of change in ourselves which results in change in our lives, plus, and here’s a great part; we change the lives of others as our true actions start to ripple into the world around us. Living a life of truth about who we are is one of the greatest changes we can make in the world. Life is hard to live in this world still believing that the church, government, social workers, banks, corporations, welfare, counsellors and therapists can create the change they once had us believe. Great institutions have risen in recent centuries only to be shown to not really have the answers to any problem that existed in the world. As people, we have an opportunity to take on the responsibility of change. It is time to bring the power and responsibility from others and bring it back through the door, into our living rooms and into our own hearts, souls and minds. Reclaiming back the power and responsibility into our lives is the way we can connect to the true changes we want to make within, to our lives and therefore to the lives of people in our paths and the people in their paths and so on. The true self has certain needs and wants that are beautiful, pure and full of a light with such power that it can resonate through the world and the universe at large. The true self can send vibes beyond our eyes and ears into places we did not know we were having effect. We induce such amazing resonance from the true self that we cause reality rather than be the end result. Yehuda Berg, a spiritual leader, said, “Truth resonates”. This thought is a combination of just two words however it contains such a miraculous notion. When taking the first step into constant and on-going change and creating a new beginning for the story of our lives, the key thing to acknowledge is that a large part of our existence has not been the truth. That is not to say, we are deliberate liars. The declaration about truth relates to living in a nonconscious state of obligation, pleasing others, holding back on full expression, judgement and a whole host of other areas where we have felt as though we held back who we truly are, hidden our true calling and not lived our desires. Even reading this statement and the ideas that this book brings to us, we

know that it is telling us something of how our lives could free us, changes us and bring us the structure to the life we really want. The goal with the first step to an open, honest and real life is to tap into our truth. Underneath the layers of rubbish and reactions is a powerful switch that turns a light to reveal that which is known as the truth. The truth is the person we were put here to be, to express and to share with others. The truth is about how we can see past our reactionary self and be the person that can honestly and freely share who we are with other people. In this space of truth our ideas, creativity and expression will flow and resonate. We will excite others and we will be engaged in what we are doing. Our body will not flinch a muscle and our true voice will connect with the light. We can see past morals, politeness, etiquettes, social expectations, pressures, what others think of us and we can push into a place where our inner, true voice can create beauty, unity, abundance, happiness, fulfilment and more. Of course, passing through some of our heads right now is the immediate fear of allowing people to see who we really are. However, Arthur Schopenhauer created this wonderful line, “All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.” This statement has such depth that it is hard to bring it all to our lives at once. He has foreseen for us that other people’s reactions to truth are what hold us back. We would all love to be our true selves, this is hardly the issue. The real core, fundamental problem is that we fear how others will react to the beauty we hold inside. This is why we fall into the rubbish and quagmire of ‘what will they think?’ and, in that gap, we lost ourselves and the truth went down the sink as well. As the book keeps saying, “Change isn’t easy, but it is rewarding”. Here the challenge is to not fall victim to the judgement or expectations of others. We’ve been doing that already and it is not working for us on any level. It is not to let others take the responsibility of change for us. We have to take the responsibility for change to break through the fear holding back humanity. We have to be the person we really desire and be an example to ourselves that we can overcome the fears that lie in our thoughts. For the truth to reign and bring the change we need to see in our lives, we have to accept that the fear to stop us is only created by us, and, therefore, may be removed by us. No one can actually see, taste, hear or feel our fears because these are created within. Change to living the truth destroys the fears and takes our lives onto the real, powerful level that we know exists just a breath away.

Activity
To connect with our true selves we have to start to make a change to be the person who is really inside and bring it to the world. We have to begin to cut through the layers of what is right and not allow fear to smother the power that lies within. Today, we are going to do one thing that is the complete opposite to what we would normally do. Let’s say someone asks us to help them and we would normally say no. Today we are going to say yes. Another example may be that we always go shopping in a certain store, today we are not. Perhaps we find it difficult to focus on a task for half an hour, so we are going to do something for an hour. After we have done one for today, we are going to do something different to the normal for a week. This is not a hard activity. However, for one week, we are going to break cycles and expectations of what we do and reveal something new about ourselves without fear, guilt, judgement, insecurity or other aspects of our rubbish.

Chapter 2: Transformation

Change: Wanting it and having it
The first chapter of this book introduces us to the notion of ‘Connection’ as the platform for change. Connection is the foundation from which all things occur. Connection is the ability to see past the layers of falsehood and get in touch with who we really are and the power of the true self. The book depends on is doing all the activities so unless we have done them, we cannot proceed. Put the book down, stop reading and let’s make some space for these activities to happen. If we have done these activities, already we have created a change. We will have made a change that now belongs to us and is irreversible. The connection activities will send out strong energy waves into the universe and the lives of those around us. The likelihood of the change is that we are the only ones who haven’t picked up on their immensity. The change and connection will be seen lastly by us. The fact that we are the last to notice the changes occurring within and this reverberation of our connection to the true self is the reason for the next section. Transformation is essentially moving from one state to another. It is the next step in the progression from making connection to inspiring movement from what we were to who we are. Transformation is the actual change in itself. We have identified that there is someone different who we yearn to be and we want to make that change to being a person who is fully expressed full-time. The great thing about transformation is that it is not superficial, it is not fleeting and it is not dependant on anyone else to be motivating us. Unlike most motivational or self-help books they try to motivate us to create a change. Other self-help ways are based on some sort of momentary burst of energy. This is fine and there is nothing wrong with this, however motivation is a result of an action not the other way around and it is also not sustainable. Motivation techniques are for the instant, they are not permanent. We lose motivation but we never lose what we transform. The minute we start to lose motivation from that short-lived hit that a lot of other books will give us, the work gets hard, we stop and the work we have done is undone. With transformation, the change is down at the DNA level. It goes right to the core. Once we have made one step towards the change within, we hold it and it never goes back. This book does not rely on motivation, self-help or attraction. It is the opposite of every notion of change that has been done before. Change in this book is a new concept where we learn it from a whole new approach. This

book is about work and it is here to support us so we don’t have to do it alone and if we want something, then we need to be in touch with it and get it. Change is not about sitting and thinking about it and then it is on our lap. There would not be any need for change if we could attract it or think positively about something. Also, thinking positively is not really changing anything within, and neither does talking about change and the desires we have. We have to transform down deep. We have to go as far as we can internally and see aspects of ourselves we don’t like. We have to overcome fears and then we can make some changes that will resonate on a new level for a better version of ourselves. We need to let go of the old person and the old person’s way of being that we find ourselves addicted. We are addicts. We don’t have to be addicted to drugs, alcohol, sex, cigarettes, chocolate or ice cream to be an addict. We can also be addicted to reactions and rubbish that hold us in to fears. These fears can be removed once we see our addicted behaviours and freedom and full expression can unveil our true selves. To gain on-going fulfilment in life and achieve what we were put on this world to do requires us to create a new system for life. Many addictions of behaviour might include seeking acceptance, doing what other people would see as the right thing, afraid of not being liked, being seen as incompetent and responding to situations with fear, anger, and insecurity or as a victim. These are some of the ways we are addicted to behaving regardless of the situation. It really goes to show that no matter what happens in this world, the only thing we can do to make improvement is to change ourselves. We need to make proactive decisions to be aware of these feelings and to act in a very different way. Realising true and on-going fulfilment requires change. Change is a concept with which we all struggle. Sitting back and having a realistic look at the way we conduct ourselves, the choices we make and the reactions is a difficult challenge. To identify ourselves under the microscope can be very confronting and require a lot of hard work in letting go. However, we can let go. David Ghiyam said the words that inspired this book and this is a gift that the book passes on and we should never, never, never, never forget. David said, “I want to change. I can change.” Once we think this, it becomes our reality.

Activity
As this book is not motivational on any level but a practical, supportive tool for us to transform and change, let us see how to use this phrase. Every time this week we go to react or are in an uncomfortable situation and we feel like we’re a pleaser, victim, insecure, angry, jealous, fearful, unconfident or any other addicted behaviour, take a breath and just think this phrase in our head. We can say out loud or have it in our mind, “I want to change. I can change.” In the space that we have given ourselves to pause and remind ourselves of our true potential, our true selves will be connected and we will transform the situation with a different behaviour.

Change and certainty
In the process of transformation we start to understand who we are and who we truly want to be. The former old addictions, limitations, expectations and definition of who we thought we were start to diminish and a new, vibrant, authentic, excited, energetic person starts to shine through. It is a difficult process and no one is saying that it is a fun process unless we are in the ‘motivation / self-help’ thought raising our hands in the air with a very black and white view of good and bad, right and wrong and success and failure. This world does not actually exist. It’s just a person’s rubbish coming to the fore to lead them to believe that being positive leads to what they want to have landing in their lap. What we actually want to achieve in terms of a state of belief is beyond attraction, positive thinking and motivation. These are not bad things but they happen after action not before. Motivation is a result, not an instigator for change. Transformation is a process where we become aware and take control over our choices. We learn that beyond nicety, hope and wishfulness is a stronger, more concrete place to be. This is called certainty. In a place of certainty, no matter how many times we fall, succeed, stop and go on our journey to having what we want, we will get there through absolute desire, conviction and consistency. Through our constancy to purpose, we will break through the hard parts, commit and achieve what we set out to do. The word ‘certainty’ is our dial code. It gives us a free call to the world around us. We are making a line to a new version of us. The true version of us that lies within is bursting to express and in this place we have certainty that who we really and truly are has a place in this world and a belonging. The real person inside is absolutely required in this world and forms a vital part of our unity and connection with everyone else in our lives. Certainty is the highest form of knowledge, understanding, trust and belief that exists. Certainty connects us to our world, and leads to decisive action. Manifesting what we really want in our lives. When an idea comes to our head, hearts and souls, it can be very easy to brush aside. Ideas and desires that are a sincere and genuine expression of who we truly are will be often intimidating or overwhelming. We can perceive them as out of reach, beyond our capability and not achievable, even though we were the ones who were given the idea to deliver. Our big purpose, our raison d’etre and all the great things that exist inside can be squashed seemingly as simply as they were created. Those magnificent dreams, passions, desires and wants are a wonderful thing however they can often be dismissed. As quickly as we have the light of inspiration, we bring up as all the rubbish relating to why we are not good enough. We diminish our own abilities.

Creating certainty about the realisation of an inspired desire is a must. It is hard to exist with our ticket to ride on Earth without really pushing ourselves and stretching beyond our comfort zone. It is also important not to get too focused on detail. The world in which we live has miraculous and infinite ways of bringing to us the tools we need at every right moment and point when we are ready, so we can desire big. The key to embarking upon the journey is to do what we can, get some quick wins and start sending pulses out to the people and environment around us regarding the direction we are heading. When we light our passion, we can open ourselves to the possibility of creating our desires. Certainty is with us from the beginning. We infuse the seed level of our inspiration and dreams with certainty. When a fruit falls from the tree to the ground, the seed inside is programmed with certainty to grow another tree with more fruit. This is the world in which we live. This world is already full of miraculous certainty. The sun comes up, the moon reflects light, the birds chirp, the cow provides milk and so on. Nature is blessed with certainty that we can tap into which will remove us from the chaos and uncertainty of our lives into a better place to be. We can smile about that. Certainty is about holding strong to who we truly are, what we really want, who we want to be in that new success all begin now at this instant. The formation of a new version of us begins as we read this. The phrase from the last chapter, “I want to change. I can change’’, is an encapsulation of that certainty and strikes to the very core of who we are and allows a gap for the true essence to be revealed. Certainty will give us the power to overcome negativity when we feel guilty, sad, alone, upset, disappointed, tired and all the typical things that make us human beings on Earth. It is not a magic pill for the absolute removal of hardship because we want to have hardships so we can prove to ourselves that we can break through challenges now that we could not before. When we come up against a barrier, we have the certainty about who we are and what we want to push right through and embrace the moment.

Activity
For one full day we are going to focus on one thing. Let’s not get too overwhelmed at this point. Once we focus on one change, the energy will send a ripple through other parts of our lives and begin to transform them as well. For this purpose, we want to practice certainty and remove chaos and uncertainty. Choose one thing in our lives that we would like to improve tomorrow. For example, we do not want shout at our children, be upset with our boss, run out of time to spend with our partner, have an unpleasant conversation with our family members or something like this. We are going to turn challenges around with absolute certainty. When it does get hard, we are going to activate certainty about our new behaviour that the challenges can be pushed over and removed. Don’t do any of the other activities while we are doing this one tomorrow, just focus on this and have a truly certain and transformed day. There is not a problem we cannot change. That is a certainty!

Breaking limitations: Faking ourselves out of ourselves
The world is full of interesting paradoxes. The process of change also involves many aspects that are poles apart, yet sit nicely together. It can be confusing as to why these opposite thoughts need to coexist, but they do. We can’t get too bogged down in an over analysis like a therapist. A part of change and transformation is learning to allow and accept. One of the funny paradoxes of change or transformation is to the real us is ‘faking it’. After this book has just spent hours revealing and connecting us to our true selves, the book now invites us to a use a tool that at first seems the other end of the spectrum. This tool of ‘faking’ is very important to grasp. The word may invite a shallow implication, but as we are talking about opposites, faking in this context has a quality. Faking our new behaviour gives us options, choices, opportunities, space and permission. Many of the ways we get trapped into limited and repetitive behaviours is because we have not opened any gateways for us to expand, improve, develop and fulfil our true potential. Through faking our new behaviour we create an opportunity to readjust, balance, make some efforts, try and feel our way through to the person we want to be. Faking allows us to make those first hard, rocky steps that will eventually lead us to running a mile in a new personal best time. Faking allows us to get going with our passion to get in touch with our true selves. If we have some avenue to get moving, then we can make a start in change and transformation without having to get it perfect the first time we try. Let the book give us an example of how faking increases our passion to move forward and get excited. Let’s use a fairly common example that we can most likely all relate. Let’s say that we are pleasers. We say yes every time someone asks us for help, for money, for time, for energy and anything particular people want from us we give it to them. We listen to all their stories all day and all night. We do it even when we don’t really have what it takes. We deny our own strength and give it to them to please. Our true selves still wants to do this. All of these things are great. However, because the intention is to please a person, it is not so good. Our negative behaviour is that we want to be liked, popular or because it is easier, we feel guilty or we have not the esteem to say no. All of this rubbish comes up that is not proactive and enables other people to take advantage.

The true self needs to have balance restored. We want to introduce some freedom and choice back in our life and we want to share the money, time and energy with people rather than being a victim of repetitive, limited behaviour. So, we want to say no a few times when people ask us for help. The fact is, we need to say no. We’re going to hate it and feel bad, not nice and all sorts of rubbish. The opportunity comes to say and we say it. We don’t want to say no, because the old behaviour still wants to say yes to keep us trapped in what is safe and secure. The old behaviour keeps us in our place. Yet, we need to say no and change. It is a fake action in the sense that we wanted to say yes, but we said no. We did it. We changed a pattern. The windows open, the fresh air has come. We say it two or three more times until we feel at one with saying no and then we can go back to saying yes as many times as we want because we know we have the power of no up or sleeve when we need to balance our lives and keep the control within. Other examples could be never expressing our true feelings, always agreeing, falling for people who cannot commit, giving people advice instead of just listening, turning up late, not being ready for meetings, speaking over the top of people and the list of rubbishy behaviours could go on. At that moment that we really, really want to give that advice or opinion, stop ourselves and just listen. Getting balance in these areas will transform our lives. We can often fall into the trap of putting things off until a later time and for a myriad of reasons. These reasons are not generally valid or real however in our head these decoys clearly exist and create a fear of moving forward in the direction we truly desire. When we push past our normal limits we self-impose a new life plus we develop and instigate the strength to stretch past our barriers into a new realm. Being able to hear the moments when we are striking up our own fears and move on is a massive step towards really pushing into a bigger world. Starting to hear those fears that undermine our potential, and then, faking our way through to push past them brings us to a stage when we can correct our old behaviour and patterns to develop something more positive. Let go of the blame, the fear, the ego and the reasons for keeping the same way of living, and this will give space to create a new opportunity. It takes time to develop the self-awareness of sensitivity to keep track of all the ways we subvert ourselves, however in time, the confidence and self-esteem and the stretch to bigger things will kick in. Hearing the fear is a really proactive way to begin to change, stepping past the fear factor and making those first steps with our passion to being the person we truly desire.

Activity
This activity is a little harder because the first thing we have to do is stop blaming others and pointing the finger. We have to take full responsibility that our behaviour and situation and the way we feel is because of ourselves. If we can do this, then we can change. We need to work out why we feel a certain way. Why do we feel unappreciated, not good enough, a victim, sad or any one feeling we can put a finger on. For one full day, we are going to do the action required to restore balance to this situation as in the example in this chapter. If we do not truly want to do or behave a certain way because it makes us feel bad, we are going to do rebalance it not matter how it makes us feel. We are going to do what is true and good for us and not based in the expectations of others.

Surrendering to everything
One of the major aspects when beginning the process of transformation to enable change is to understand control and surrender. Control and surrender are very challenging tools and we can’t have one without the other. The trouble is that most people have them the wrong way around. Most people try to live their lives controlling what is outside and surrendering what is inside. If we look at this in cold reality, it is absurd. There is nothing that happens outside that we can control. We spend so much time working out how we can make things happen even though we haven’t taken one minute to understand what we can control within us. Often, in fact, what we are doing is the opposite of what we want in our lives. So many times we can witness anger, jealousy, frustration and fear instead of revealing the love, joy and affection that is in abundance within. Control is a massive part of our rubbish and insecurity. Why do we worry about our future? How does control keep us from true fulfilment and prevent our potential? How do we allow our lives to be? We all like to feel, think and see that we are in control. We like to assure ourselves of a certain outcome and most importantly, we must be right. Above all things in a situation, we must prove that we had the best answer, knew all the solutions and our word is the best. Most of this element of control stems from judgement. During the process of transformation from control, we start to open our hearts to allow. We want to give people the reverence to be. If we can get past the limitations of our own outcomes, judgement and ideas, we open the possibility of endless possibilities. We open ourselves to change, to prosperity and to experiences we couldn’t even have thought of ourselves. We surpass what we thought was right, and head towards certainty and the removal of limitation. Allowing others to do and be as they are, allow life to unfold on the journey to our destination, allow others to have an experience and to listen to their side, allow an energy greater than ours and be at peace with ourselves and others. Tap into an unconditional love and removing control creates a new world where peace of mind prevails. There is a massive untapped beauty in surrender. Control is such a harsh and destructive force when enforced outside of ourselves. It is a wonderful, wonderful aspect to have within us, but control over the external is one way to making sure we do not get a thing we are after. Steer away from external control at all costs.

Letting go, giving in and getting out of the way can be hard. What is the good in surrendering? Why let go when we think we’re right? How is giving in and withdrawing control over our surroundings the best path to take? The classic case of wanting to exercise control over someone else is usually in a relationship. A couple will generally battle it out between them continuing to point the finger at the other person that a dilemma was their fault. They will not give in until the other person has admitted that it was their mistake and they are the ones that need to change. The sense of being right and controlling the other through guilt and blame come to the fore all the time. The simpler way would be to see how we could change and how we could have done something better to make sure the situation does not happen again. Being completely focused on how we can change to make our lives better is a challenge. We have somewhat hardened to the world, have come to the decision that our way is the only way and we must maintain control over everything. It’s our way or the highway. Life and the universe have an unusual way of working together. The more we try and control, hold on and tighten our grip on our lives, the more it slips through our fingers. Are things getting worse, not the way we planned or not moving forward? This is because we are too focused on the outcome and how we plan is the only way for desires to happen. For life to be fully appreciated we have to let go, surrender and trust the universe. The second we have no attachment to any outcome and submit ourselves to the journey the universe wants to take us on, that is the moment when the magic just happens. Want the new job, new partner or more happiness? Then put in a little proactive and consistent effort and watch the universe manifest the result in a better way than we could ever imagine. This is connection. This is appreciation. This is the beauty of surrender.

Activity
Today is all about allowing and surrendering. We are going to detach ourselves form what we expect of the day and be completely removed from it. We are not going to plan, direct, ask, request or insist. We are not going to force, push or control in any way. We are going to completely surrender to the day and have the day just flow as it was meant and intended. If things go not so well, we’ll shrug our shoulders and let it go. We’ll just carry on regardless. If things go well, we’ll enjoy it, appreciate it and get excited. Have a beautiful day. Enjoy the beauty in surrendering to everything.

Take out the rubbish inside us
In the last chapter, we looked at how we surrender to everything that exists beyond us and internalise control within. One we start to look within for change, we accept responsibility for the world in which we live and we are the only aspect of this world which we can do anything about. As a miracle, the world around us starts to change, like a mirror, to reflect everything we are carrying within. Instead of trying to ‘fix’ other people, what we want to start to do is see that this situation in front of us is really just an external reflection of us. The bad situation is a wake-up call that we must clean up our own houses. We must have a look at our own rubbish. The book has talked a lot about rubbish that we carry within us. Others have called it ego, games, tricks and negative selftalk. The book likes to call it rubbish simply because it makes it a tangible load of gunk that clogs us up from getting on and achieving what we have determined we want to achieve. Our rubbish is a separate entity we can clean away and is indeed never a true part of who we truly are. Rubbish is created from the moment we are born and stacks up inside us. It is created by us and the negative aspect of us. We will decide something negative about ourselves or the world. We then spend our live collecting, like rubbish, evidence to prove ourselves right. Even that need to be right is a part of our rubbish! Let’s say at an early age we did not do so well in a test. We might decide in that moment so many things. We are stupid, will not amount to anything, will not be good at learning, will not be worth anything, be a waste of time and so on. It’s quite disturbing when we see examples of this kind of behaviour, but we do it all the time. We do it every day of our lives, and then our lives are about seeing only the parts that prove we are not good enough. This is the rubbish inside of which we must be rid. Rubbish is known as the opponent. The opponent is the little voices in our head that throws off our course for reaching true fulfilment. The ego is to be treated as our very own opponent and to beat it leads us on to happiness and free will. When we are led to think we are not good enough, not ready, find excuses or utilise reactions instead of pro-activity then our rubbish grows and leads us back to our usual outcomes. To beat the ego we must be aware of how our ego works and in what ways our ego sabotages our success. It generally appears best at work when we are, for example, thinking of ourselves. Truly successful and fulfilled people act for the greater good, exist with inner peace, focus on what is to

be overcome, come from a place of forgiveness and compassion and can cut through reactions to move forward proactively. If we think of people like Ghandi, Mandela, Mother Theresa and Oprah, they are recognised for creating an effect bigger than themselves. The rubbish often appears as someone seeking acceptance, wanting to do the right thing by others, be noticed and be popular. As an act to reaching fulfilment, there are times when we need to say no, say what we truly think, share who we really are and allow ourselves to makes mistakes or ask for help. In this way, we can let go of negativity to bring in a victory over addictive, negative behaviours. Addictions aren’t necessarily always related to the things we can clearly see. Often, addictions relate also to actions, behaviours, emotional responses and pay-offs that are not visible. Addictions do not have to be of the drug, sex and monetary kind. Realising true and on-going fulfilment requires change. Change is a concept with which we all struggle. Sitting back and having a good hard look at the way we conduct ourselves, the choices we make and the reactions is a difficult challenge. To identify ourselves under the microscope can be very confronting and require a lot of hard work in letting go. To gain on-going fulfilment in life and achieve what we were put on this world to do requires us to create a while new system for life. Some examples of addictive behaviour might include seeking acceptance, doing what other people would see as the right thing, being afraid of not being liked, being seen as incompetent and responding to situations, dominating conversation, seeking attention, impatience, easily irritated, not admitting mistakes and being in a state of fear, anger or insecurity. These are some of the ways we are addicted to behaving regardless of the situation. It really goes to show that no matter what happens in this world, the only thing we can do to make improvement is to change ourselves. We need to make proactive decisions to be aware of these feelings and to act in a very different way. Let the book give us a quick example so that the concept of getting rid of rubbish does not become part of our rubbish as we start believing it’s too hard. It is the letting go that is hard. Our rubbish has a concrete hold over us. An example is that every meeting our boss comes in and has a new idea. The ideas are seen by the team as completely out of touch and out of line with the ways things would be better going. After the meeting, we go back to our

desks and complain about the way things are going. Next time, we can make some changes. We can tell our co-workers not to talk about people behind their back and bring it up in the meetings, we can stick our neck out and take up the ideas at the meeting and we can prepare a case for a better idea. Instead of harbouring and hanging on to the frustration, we can make an upfront and positive action that demonstrates who we truly are. Addictions are great things, not because we love our rubbish, but they help us clearly see the world we create around us and bring the areas we need to change into awareness. Instead of settling for temporary feelings of frustration, anger, backstabbing, gossip or jealousy, we can take on the better long term choice of fulfilment, happiness, non-judgement and joy and move on. There is nothing wrong with addiction but it just brings us a short term hit of happiness through blaming the outside world, rather than a long term hit of happiness from creating change within and being proactive from a place of who we truly are.

Activity
This activity is a short and simple one but we can use it quite often even in a short period of time. It’s to help us look at the way we are addicted to reacting the same way in a situation. This is a reflection exercise. Let’s think about a situation in our lives right now that is not going so well. Perhaps we are arguing with someone we don’t usually, maybe something in our business is not turning out or maybe we are feeling a bit down today. Think about and jot a little list of feelings and actions that we do in this. Now, remember when things were different. Let’s think about and jot down how we were feeling and what we were doing then. Do the two lists look the same? Move our actions back to the way they were before. We will find we are feeling better, more confident to change the situation and in fact the situation we will start to address itself when we let go of addictive negative behaviours and change to the positive ones we know inside reflect the true us.

Chapter 3: Action

Constancy of purpose
In the third section, the book starts to take us on the journey through action. The world of action is the most challenging of the four sections to creating the life we want. All of these four sections have equal importance and need equal energy. This is the section where we are most likely to stop, become disheartened, give up and throw in the towel. This is the section where we need to begin to put ourselves on the line. The third element of action is public, visible and more open to judgement from others. The book will look at how to deliver actions and move forward to start to send a ripple out into our world of what we want to create. The first action of change is always the hardest and it can be seen by us to be the smallest but it is the loudest. It is the most noticeable. It can make us feel very uncomfortable, embarrassed, awkward and uneasy about what we are doing. However, it is worth noting these emotions. Anything that feels embarrassing, awkward, difficult or weird really highlights how much of a pattern of behaviour we have. It shows us that we have a set of patterned behaviours to which we have become accustomed. We have settled for a life without change and one we are so used to, we don’t even notice any more. Life just happens and we have a standard way of dealing with it that gets the same results. Action is a big stretch for us. This is when we become aware of our normal, reactions, processes, rubbish and patterns and start to break them with our physical body. Up until now, we have been noticing them, becoming aware and moving things about ourselves very much internally. We have slowly gained a better sense of who we are and where we want to go with life. We have started to note some things we could change to give us the results we want in our life. One of the things we need to accept about our actions is that we need to become aware of them ourselves. It can be like a baby learning to walk. There will be a bit of a wobble, a few falls and a few bumps. That’s okay. Why is it okay? The baby had to do that to be able to run. Those first few months of trying to walk led on to a skill that developed and improved to become a skill for life. Had the baby never changed from crawling, then it would have the same result. The baby would have only one way of living in the world. The child can crawl if the child wants to, but the child has options like tip-toeing, walking, running, skipping and jumping. The baby moved its actions on and gave itself a freedom of choice to change its life. There are a few vital characteristics underpinning the success of change in our lives. We want to look at them, observe them and remember them when

things look like they are not progressing. Again, the mantra, change is not easy, however it is rewarding. This is the time to bring this back into the fold as we take those first wobbly steps into change for ultimately better rewards for us in our lives. We need to be very, very clear about what we want and have a constancy to it. We don’t need a plan, time line, or anything that looks like steps to get there as these will limit the outcomes and give us a smaller version or half a version of what we are after. We can’t guarantee what the journey will look like but we can guarantee who we want to be on the journey and the outcome. This is why most people never achieve what they set out to do. They lose the merit. Here in the action part is the choice of getting it or giving up. All the journey does is provide us with the necessary challenges to prepare us for the result coming. All the hard parts are the lessons. We want those to happen so that we can handle our success. The same ingredient in anyone’s cake of success is constancy of purpose. When do we fall away from our desires? Why is it so hard to reach that next level? What is constancy of purpose about? The great challenge of life is achieving a desire, a goal or a different existence with something to what we have now. We have dreams, ambitions and yearn for some way of making a difference in our lives and the lives of others. Generally, in the process of a goal, we might make one or two steps towards it or in fact go right up to a point where we are almost there. At that final hurdle something out of the blue happens. An unexpected occurrence happens that we have never counted on and would have been impossible to foresee. The universe sends a challenge so big for us that it goes from being another hurdle to an insurmountable 20 foot high fence causing a block. For most people, one look at the fence and we back away even knowing that our dream was just on the other side of it. Rather than pursue any attempt at getting over the fence, the ego and the rubbish kicks into our heads saying that it’s all too hard, we never could do it and we were never meant to have it. Boom! We resume to our victim status. The dream fades and the work we did disappears into thin air as if we never tried. The universe never sends us a small hurdle or a large fence we can’t overcome. However, in the grand design of life and the perfect order of the world‘s existence, it knows that we have a lesson to learn and a strength to find in order to maintain our goal and share it. Therefore, that big hurdle is a perfectly placed fence required to give us the grounding to cherish and receive the gift of our desire. The fence is necessary part of the process so

we need to run for it, jump it and land on the other side of it with certainty. It’s all designed for us. Staying constant with our purpose is a big rule for achieving change. With the constancy to our purpose, it won’t matter what happens on the way as we will understand that it is all a necessary occurrence in order to get us where we want to be and who we want to be. There is in fact no failure or challenges. There is only the kindness of the journey helping us to understand and learn a little bit more about ourselves so we can have opportunities to change. The more we take the opportunity to change and stretch ourselves the better the result and the easier the journey becomes. All we need to begin with is certainty about what we want and the constancy to stick to it. When we start to apply actions with the intention of our goal, it will start to spark changes.

Activity
At this point we want to do something towards our goals that is a bit of a stretch. We want to send a clear sign that we are making a definite action towards our goals. We want to have certainty that we have a clear goal and the constancy to make it happen. There are no big or small goals or actions. Every step and achievement has its merit. If we always wanted a business, then go down a register a name. If we want to overcome shyness, then go and say hi to people today or strike up a little conversation. If we want to have happiness, do something to make someone else happy and watch their smile make us smile. Go and do one clear action that sets us on the path. Then just be constant about it and watch the changes unfold. No limitations, just go for it.

The small ripple of initial change
By this stage in the process to change, we are starting to send out little signals that we want something new and different from the way our lives are at present. We have not had the experience of living these new goals however we have some feeling or sense inside that the achievement of this change would bring fulfilment and happiness to our lives and the lives of others. We know that there is something we yearn for and we have a lack, emptiness or void inside. It’s something we have always wanted. The book is starting to reveal to us that the reason for this lack in our lives is because of our limitations or patterns we have come to accept as normal. This normality gives us the same result but we can change ourselves and gain a different result more in line with what we truly want. The book is slowly revealing to us the four steps required in change through connecting to what we really want, making some internal changes in response, reactions, feelings and thoughts and now moving forward into something proactive. This is the section requiring strength and structure. Action requires consistency and change on the exterior. These strikes or movements are the kinds of strides we take and are clearly visible to us and to others. They are up for objection and judgement because now we have our changes out in the open. This is a new and better version of us. Actions during change can be very subjective and perhaps people in our lives or even ourselves can be very critical. Criticism of our level of success or failure in what we are doing can be one of things that stands in the way of our certainty or constancy. The book is not saying to be bloody-minded about goals and purposes because we need to be open to feedback as this can help us however we need to remove judgement such as frustration, anger, shyness, lack of confidence, inflexibility and anything else that could be rubbish out of the equation. We need to have the awareness and notice when we feel negativity about action and then do it anyway. The emotions we have after the action will most likely be very different if not the opposite of the ones we had before the action. We have noticed already that the main aim of this book is not to selfhelp us to be motivated. The book is taking us to a place where we can enquire within. Motivation before we do an activity is false. It is not real or sustainable. Anyone completes a course or a book about motivation and then does not act loses their motivation after a short period or as soon as they come up against their first hurdle. Motivation comes after action. This book wants to bring us to a point where we can execute actions and be proactive in a constant and consistent basis

and to be well aware of the challenges that will come along the way. Once we have the presence to deliver good, strong actions and can push through the difficulties we can move on. We are being shown that we are not going to be affected by others who may not want the change to happen or the rubbish that lives within, rather than being academic like self-help notions and just looking at how things are right now. We are going to make the change needed to break our old ways and start on a new path to the better version of us. When we start to take action, little pulses of energy within us start to spark up, connecting us to whom we really are and get us going on the path. It puts us in the order of the universe or a greater energy. The universe provides in a perfectly organised order. What are the ways we can tap into this order? Why does everything have order? How does this order impact us? We exist in a universe where energy for us is endless. It would make sense that we are able to tap into this power when we wish. However, in true work of change, we need to earn our abundance or desires to truly move us more towards the people we were born to be. Each point along this journey to our desire, we receive rewards for our work. By placing us in the right situations to earn a change, the reward is overcoming our former ego or clearing out more rubbish from inside so that we can break from our former patterns. We need challenging situations on the journey. We must earn our way to our desire. In the perfect order of the life when we need to really want to commit to change, we are rewarded with challenges which help us move forward if we could just have the commitment or effort to get through them. Challenges are rewards. The ripples of our actions will bring challenges and this is a good sign we are on the right track to our goal. If the challenges stop, we stop on our journey. Always remember that where we are along our journey is the right spot for us and where we are meant to be. Remain in a state of appreciation that these challenges are opportunities strengthening us to prepare us well for all the abundance we want to receive. The ripples of strength in our actions will be sent out to the world and help us for the greater things to come. A person who wants to be a body builder and has never been a body builder has to overcome certain challenges along the way to prepare him for the big weights he wants to lift. If the person went straight to the big weights, he would not be ready and would probably be worse off and damaged. The same principle applies in change of a less tangible nature. We need to develop into the new version of us. Life will send us the next size weight to lift at the right time to allow us to go to the next level of development.

Activity
Have a look around the house, office or our room. Notice something that has just been sitting there that we have avoided. Have a look at that pile of papers still out, the task our boss gave us a month ago or the chore that someone else we live with always does and we never do. That’s the task we need to be doing. That’s the change. Notice what feelings come up for us. Is there boredom, failure, hurt, anger, frustration? There will be rubbish inside us associated with the task we are avoiding. Clean the rubbish inside, break from the past and take the action we are avoiding. This will really put us towards our desire and goals. How does cleaning the windows help us become a millionaire? Easy. It breaks the former ways of existence that are stopping us from achieving. The more times we make change the more parts of us become unblocked. It will only work if we are really honest about what feelings or thoughts come up for us that we want to break while we’re doing the activity. So observe and become aware of ourselves and then we will move forward.

The energy of actions
As we have learned actions are the hardest put of change within. Actions are putting ourselves on the line to do what we set out to do. They will also start us on a journey over which we have no control. The only control we have on the journey is who we choose to be when we come up against the challenges and struggles. Also, just to recap, we have learned that these hard tasks are the ones we welcome as these are the milestones where we can change into a better version of us and prepare us for the success to come. This book is showing us how we can have tools to meet those challenges by connecting to and transforming what is within. Actions are a result of control from within. The actions we carry out empower us or deplete us. Do we sit and watch TV or do we put our three hours into our business? Do we go for a few drinks or do we put the money towards that holiday? Are we seeing sacrifice or are we seeing gain? It is the case of being reactive without purpose or proactive with certainty, constancy and direction. The fact that this book is in our hand reveals that we want to change and what we have read already has moved something inside us that will remain. Once we start to create a desire for something we want in our life, we recognise that what we have to do is change to have it. We already know that if we don’t change something, we will always have what we already have and nothing further. There is nothing wrong with what we have, however human beings have dreams and want them to be a part of their reality. We want to live with certain things in our lives that we don’t have. To change our life, we need to change within. We need to change our approach to life or for want of a better word; we need to change our energy. The energy with which we take on actions is really important. We have already talked about certainty and realise we need to have focus and constancy to tasks. Being definite about what we are after needs to be at the base of our building. If we come from this place, things in the world start to respond and movement happens. Doors start to open for us in a way we did not think was possible. It can be a bit scary sometimes, however in time as we understand our power, we see miracles in our lives. We can all have success. We can all make a change in our lives and which in turn helps the lives of others. There is something very special and powerful about manifesting inner change. Digging deep and having serious considerations about how we can be a better friend, son, daughter, parent, boss, business owner and person in general to the lager community is not easy. However, the rewards that come from these changes even excel the struggles we put ourselves through. The more we change from negativity and

inaction towards proactive and positive ways of life, the better we become. If we want great rewards, then make that change. If we approach this change with negative energy such as lack of confidence, uncertainty, anger, revenge and other low levels of negativity, then we are planting the wrong seeds. In fact we might get the change we want but it will disappear and all we will be left with is the emotions with which we began. Low levels of energy, mild to moderate depressive states, anxiety and high stress can be indicated through certain reactive behaviours. These indicators will include under or over eating, being easily angered or irritated, inability to sleep well, inability to concentrate on work or activities, discomfort in social situations, a tendency to fluster easily around people and financial overspending. We can also see in someone or ourselves sadness, a lack of interest in life, low self-esteem and poor self-image. These kinds of reactions cause a disconnection. The disconnection from our true essence and the life we really want to live start to affect our results and remove us further and further away from the goals we want to achieve and the challenges we want to overcome. This distance causes a spiralling effect of low energy and satisfaction in life. How do we maintain a certain level of clear, loving, certain, creative and positive energy? Firstly, we need to identify the energies or approaches that could work for us as the book has just mentioned. We need to look deep within to discover what our core belief is about ourselves. Are we thinking we are not good enough, we are a failure, we are lacking in some way or we will end up alone or abandoned? If these are the kinds of thoughts sabotaging us, then we need to get to know them. Let’s keep our opponents close. If we can recognise some of these things then we can make choices. As soon as they are on our radar or in our awareness we bring the power back as then we can make a choice and ta-dah… change. When the challenges come and we start to find things hard, we need to remind ourselves of the person we want to be on this journey and the energy we want to apply. We want to be open, honest, calm, consistent, strong, clear, friendly, and the list could go on. However, we need to have these clearly identified so that when we catch ourselves falling back into the same patterns of energy we can catch ourselves and bring back the energy to ensure we have the right kind of success, one that will be long-lasting. We want to make sure we have put the right building blocks of energy into what we are building.

Activity
The best way to start to regain our energy is to firstly claim back our true self. Start to remind ourselves of the good things that we appreciate in our life and that we have already. While the initial steps will seem hard and small, we need to persist. The ripple effect of our desires will move through the universe growing and growing. The universe will start to send signals and move itself around so that our goals transpire and our true self is returned. Remember, we need to work, push hard when we don’t feel like it and learn lessons along the way that we will need when success and energy are back in our hands. Write down our goals, find images of the kinds of things we would like in our life, don’t react to negativity and move our thoughts towards proactive behaviour, actions that moves us closer to our true self and our life of desire. Get clear about the energy we want to use to build or change and therefore our success.

No time to waste
If we could identify one thing that could stop us from changing and becoming the people we know we can be, then it is time. Time is an aspect in our lives that we have given our power. Time is stopping us from having what we can have and achieving our desires. Time is such a useful excuse that has no bearing on anything at all, yet seems to impact in our decisions in less than a positive way. Time creates the space between us and our success. The challenge of time is not to waste it. If we had little time and we knew how much time we had, how much faster and more open to ‘going for it’ would we be? If we had the moment to savour and we knew that every moments counts, how much more would we appreciate what we have? If we could start to understand the importance and urgency of now, then we would all be the people we wanted to be doing exactly what we were supposed to be doing. It is a cliché, but ‘the present’ is a gift. There is no guarantee that the time will ever be right to do something. We have to take action and we have to do it now. We have to do this especially when it seems like we have time to spare or when we feel things will just turn out. Not wasting time does not mean rushing and being a nervous wreck about always doing something, it means having the energy to not be distracted or removed from our purpose because we feel like there will always be another moment. As soon as we delay what we could be doing now, the moment for change in ourselves and our lives is lost. We will get another chance, however we have just gone two steps back as we delayed our opportunity to be proactive. What we want to be doing with our actions is having a sense of propulsion that has an immediacy. We want momentum, not time. Throw time aside and get energy generated. Once we start the snowball of actions things will increase exponentially. Let’s not use time as we will waste it, instead let’s have an approach of continuing movement and effort towards our goal. Once we use momentum, we close the gap between us and our goal as we always moving closer and closer. We want to close distance. Reaching out to people who are in our closest circles and beginning to share who we really are and what we are truly experiencing, starts to close the gap. The simple act of sharing, whether it is sharing thoughts, a meal or whatever we have to give from our true essence inside starts to bring people powerfully into our lives on a new, exciting and meaningful level. Open our heart, speak our true mind and take our opportunity to be.

Once we start to change the way we look at time as opportunity to do some sharing, some actions, some reflection on how we were reactive an positive, then we become a lot more successful at closing the gap between us and everything and everyone else. We have spoken before about gaps and thoughts and how important it is to close them. Let’s say for example that we are passionate about bread-making. We know how to make bread, the ingredients, flours, textures, different flavours and all the best ways. We can make all sorts of bread and put our heart into it. One day, someone comes to us and says that it tastes a bit odd and they don’t like it. Our confidence is lost and we drop tools. We don’t make bread again. We were born to make bread and that is our gift and talent. That is our energy and where we would be better direct our actions. Someone said something which created a reaction of doubt. We lost our certainty and have disconnected. The more proactive idea is to ask why they don’t like the bread, ask how they like it and make it that way for them next time. This closes the gap between us and them and gives us a chance to share and retains our certainty in what we do. In fact, if this person likes the batch we make, we have earned extra confidence knowing we can cater to anyone’s needs. The game becomes different and we are in control again. If we want to take a day to sit in the sun is this a waste of time or is it moving us with momentum towards who we want to be and our goals? It’s a good question and of course there is no wrong answer and no right answer. Why? Because every person’s process and journey is different. For the angry, high achiever, stressed out people whose purpose it is to be more open and caring, this could be a wonderful choice. Their energy will approach this activity with a certain intention to help move them closer to their calmness for better relationships with people and clearer perspectives on work. Of course, for the person who is hard to motivate and constantly delaying any actions at all, this decision is a not as good as putting energy elsewhere to restore their balance. Balance is the best way to get momentum and a sense of good energy in our building of momentum. Actions we take from a place of balance will be strong, clear and really send the right signals and ripples out to the world. From a place of balance in our lives, we can achieve so much more productivity that’s proactive and certain, then when we are always operating from the same emotions and reactions. We must be careful not to use or waste time to throw us off our track or our sense of who we really are, but align with it for balance, momentum and energy. We cannot control it however we can control our approach to it and use it to the best of our advantage to keep these gaps from appearing.

Activity
Make a list or use images to describe how we would like to be. How would we like to use our energy and time? Think about how calm, balanced, loving and sharing we could be in our day. What negative traits creep in to our minds and lives? Sadness, depression, lack of confidence, low self-esteem, jealousy? Once we have identified some ways in which our energy needs to be rebalanced, start to use our days to come from this place and restore balance. Sometimes we need to fake it to break it, so don’t be afraid to push a bit and feel uncomfortable, as this is just the start and then we will find that we can begin to rebalance our energy and momentum. Let’s try to identify our weaknesses, identify ways to change these habits, try or ‘fake’ our new, opposing behaviours to break the cycles and at the end of the weak asses what we have done differently and what we still need to change in order to achieve balance.

Dealing with our ego
All the way through the book we have learned about the rubbish, garbage, opponent and thoughts inside that stop us. We touched upon core beliefs about ourselves that hold us as a kind of hostage in the life from which can’t seem to get out. We have looked at what we want to change. We know that it is what is inside that is really stopping us from attaining what we want. No amount of positive thinking, hopes, wishes, dreams and laws of attracting or self-motivation will ever get us what we want. That’s the genius of the book‘s lessons. Ultimately the reasons for the life we have is our responsibility and either we can remain where we are or we can push a bit, change and get some different results for us and others important to us. At this point let’s remind ourselves that despite the last decade of some supposed ‘secret’ that there is no law of the universe saying that if we sit and think about something, we are going to get it. Let’s remind ourselves after twenty years of motivating people that there is no evidence saying that if we shout and cheer and scream to raise our happiness and be really motivated, that we are somehow going to have as much fulfilment as we want. These are lovely ideas and do no harm, however at the end of the day, we get something from the world when we are correcting ourselves and making the required progress inside. When we have really dug deep about the kinds of negative behaviours that we want to eradicate, something miraculous then starts to happen. Overcoming the challenges that exist within will deliver the results we want. Ultimately the rubbish, garbage or opponent exists within and it is called our ego. Ego does not mean we walk around with our noses up thinking we are more superior to everyone else. Ego is also about jealousy, fear, anger, shyness, being meek, revenge, nervousness, being a victim, sycophancy; it is about anything else that is negative behaviour holding us back from making change in our lives. Didn’t approach that knock-out person for a date because we weren’t good enough? That is because of our ego and it is our problem. The problem is ours and it stopped us from getting what we wanted. Didn’t put the garbage out because we were a little too tired? Ego. We could have done it and avoided that argument with the house mate or partner or wife later on had we just applied a little energy. Ego traps us in our own little world with little result and maximum impact on our inability to fulfil our desire. Once we have a hold on what our ego is forcing us to do through unconscious actions or reactions, then we can be anyone we chose to be. We can have a firm grip on who we are and what we are doing. We will have control over

what is happening within and therefore control over our world and our lives. Inside all of us is a different person to the one most people know us to be. Why do we hide our inner-self? How do we portray ourselves to others? What ways can we get the true-self to shine through? One of the hardest challenges for us in the work and elevation of change is the ability to allow our true self to come through. It’s very easy for us to have an outside layer or wall which we create to protect ourselves based on our current life experiences, pressures and challenges. The outer-self is something we build in an effort to move us forward in life. They are tricks or tools. As human beings we learn to ensure we don’t get hurt, pained, unloved and so on. However, the trick is that these selfprotection tools are indeed the very things that stop us from getting what we truly want and earned. These little tricks we think are helping us are the very things that give the same result and outcomes and hold us back. The core of every development is dealing with our own ego; the little voices in our head that throws of our course for reaching true fulfilment. The ego is to be treated as our very own opponent and to beat it, leads us on to happiness and free will. The ego often appears as someone seeking acceptance, wanting to do the right thing by others, be noticed and be popular. As an act to reach fulfilment, there are times when we need to say no, say what we truly think, share who we really are and allow ourselves to makes mistakes or ask for help. In this way, we can move to let go of sympathy, resentment and bring in a victory over addictive, negative behaviours. We need to be aware of our own ego and how it will impact on the certainty and energy of our actions. If we allow the ego to have its way, then we lose our sense of true-self and the place of good from which we were building a momentum, and take those unwanted two steps back. This is why action is the hardest part of the four areas of change because it’s about choices we make, how we deliver them and how strong we are to push against years of inbuilt thoughts and beliefs. We see people give up all the time and resume to where they were. Their ego won and they were resigned back to the armchair of life to watch on while others got, somehow unfairly, what they wanted. Harsh book?Maybe so. However, the point remains that change is not easy, but the rewards will come. There is a parable about a servant, or more of a slave. Every day he had to go to work. They were terrible conditions. Every day he would go and his boss would beat him. The lashes were severe and for no particular reason. The

master just enjoyed a sense of domination when he would order the servant to be lashed. Every night the servant would come home from being beaten and be covered in marks. However, he would go to work in an effort to feed his family. He was wanting to do whatever it takes to be a good person. He would never cry or be upset, but carry on with the intention of providing. One day, the King walked in to find the servant being beaten and asked why this was happening. The master was unable to give any reasonable explanation and was removed from his position. The servant was picked up from the floor by the King and was told that he will receive a gold coin for every lash he received. The servant went home and put the pile of gold coins on the table in front of his wife and this time started to cry. The wife was happy that they had money and there were no more lashings. However, she asked her husband why, after all this time, is he crying when he was never upset before. He said, “If I knew what the rewards would be for my lashings, then I would have wanted more at the time.” This is a bit of story the book wants to share with us. It really can be a simple way of looking at how much rewards can come if we persist in challenges. No-one is wanting us to be physically hurt or suffer, but the lashes represent overcoming a struggle and pushing on when we find it hard because we know we are headed for something better. The third phase of any part of our lives is the hardest. Actions being the third phase require the most push and determination, but this is the effort required before the rewards.

Activity
What is the number one thing within we want change right now? Focus on it. Practise not doing this all week. Make a contract with ourselves that all week We will be more mindful of others by not being X.

Chapter 4: Manifestation

An open inclusion to the process
We have come to understand a number of key concepts through the book relating to the power we have within to make changes in our lives and grow. We know that we can make a difference in our lives and the lives of others by creating a space for change and how to do it. The main purpose in life is to create change within and awaken the power within us already rather than dominating or controlling events which are external to us. Everything we learn about success, motivation and happiness in most cases needs to be tipped upside down and then approached in the new way. In the first section we learned that our first reaction to something is not the true us and we need to really understand what lies beneath and then use that energy to go forward. In the second we learned that the more we tap into that true nature within us, the power and possibility and muscle we create to move change in our lives. The third section shared the tools we need to make change through actions as nice thoughts are not enough. The actions bring motivation and awaken our drive to make change. No book, course, person, teacher, workshop or lovely film can motivate. It will make us feel good but it is temporary. The only person who can motivate and drive us to make change is us and that is through the right action coming from the right place within. The book is repeating one of the mantras now and reminding us that change is not easy but it is rewarding. The first three sections of this book have concentrated on our want to change and how to change. This section will continue to focus on change and bring into the second part of the mantra about the rewards change can bring if we choose to yearn for more. It is while we apply change that we see the size and nature of our rewards. Have we taken away all the limitations and rubbish a little bit or a lot? Did we make a massive effort to change our usual behaviour and patterns? Even as tiny as some things may seem to others, if it was hard for us to do and made us feel very uncomfortable, then we get great merit and success and rewards from the change start to appear in our lives. This chapter is to make sure that we all understand that the process of change is open to everyone. The great thing about change for a better life is that we can all do it. Most people externalise change. That is they only believe change is possible if certain conditions apply such as money, time, having a car, not having kids, was not so busy, did not have a business to run, had a nicer wardrobe and so on. We are all a little guilty of finding excuses to keep things as they are. Once the little desire to make change comes, so does the mountain of excuses not to put in the effort. That is why we can be in danger of keeping the same life as we have now until the end. In fact, there

is nothing wrong with that, but deep down inside we all yearn for something more and the book is here to guide us through that change. Miracles, or changes that bring us fulfilment, are thought of as being things that are for the very few and ultimately inexplicable. How is it that we all can have miracles every day? What is an everyday miracle? Why are they created? Albert Einstein was best known for his logical, mathematical work. Einstein’s theories of physics, cosmology and relativity are all respected for the order they unveil in the world of science. However, many of these kinds of thoughts in universal design have existed within us since humans came to be. In fact, Einstein did much more work in the explanation of everyday life and our human power within us than he did in science to explain the world outside of us. He once said, “There are two ways to live our essence - one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle.” In our lives, to start to see everything as a miracle is when we start to see the order in which our lives are happening. A miracle is the extraordinary in the sense that it is amazing in its pure sense and probability. If we believe that our ambition, goal or desire is probable, and we believe it can happen, then it will. It is not for us to decide how the miracle will happen as this is the journey of the miracle. The miracle is to experience the reward of the journey and learn more about ourselves. We only need to have certainty in our own power and energy that lies already within. We have a responsibility to get precision and belief in our desired miracles and watch them become reality. There is never any need to give up a dream. If we are open to the journey, the miracle is open to us. We are all entitled to a process to our goals. The change occurs is in the process and the goal is the reward. People don’t reach their goals for the one simple reason. That reason is that people are afraid of changes within, however we know that this is the good part and we can enjoy learning and improving without any fear. In the process of change, there are no rules, sections of society, special entitlements, privileges, membership or pre-requirements. The only difference between us is the knowledge and tools of how to tap into our power to create the specific changes each of us will want in our lives to make us and those around us better. The realisation is that we can all make change however the changes we will want will all be different, yet the beauty is that the no matter what the change is, the tools remain the same. If one person wants a better relationship and one person wants a better job, then the tools in this book for both people to do two different things are exactly the same, we just apply our energy into different areas of our lives.

It can be very hard for a poor person to look at a rich person and feel like that money is not for them just as it may be hard for a rich couple to look at a poor couple hugging, smiling at each other and kissing and feel like that much love is not meant in their relationship. It is not our place to judge who can have change and who can’t or dangerously limit our thinking about what changes are possible for other people or us. We are all human beings capable of unlimited changes in infinite ways. So connect to the true desire within, make the transformation, start putting some energy and action towards and we have become a part of the process. We are all able, invited, welcome and included in any change. Our job is to make sure we remind ourselves that we have the merit to apply ourselves to the journey and remain constant to the journey until we are fulfilled in all areas of our lives.

Activity
The only difference between a person who can change and can’t change is one with the tools to do it. Make sure we share our tools, experience and knowledge with people so they have the opportunity in their lives to create changes. The more change we make and the more changes our friends make, the higher the motivation and possibility of bigger changes. We will create a great circuitry for change to be sparked.

When change gets hard
One of the challenging aspects of change is quite a mystery. The moment we want to change an aspect of our lives and start to put in place positive, proactive steps, suddenly the situation seems to get even worse. For example, the second we start to save money is when we get a big bill. Another example is when we want to mend a relationship with a family member is when we have a big argument. That’s usually how quickly we give up on our goal or desire, too. In the heat of something becoming a little hard or not going the way we think it ought to go, we give up on the goal, the people involved and unfortunately, ourselves. When we make a step into a different way of life we have to allow a lot to let go. What we would normally hold on to, control or think we have to do in the process of change needs to be ripped out. Change requires us to create a space and open up to the illogical. We have to allow occurrences to happen that are beyond our understanding yet also require us to have belief that this is the best thing that could happen to lead us to the result we intend to bring powerfully into our lives. A good example is when a woman in her fifties is going through a process of change within her family. Her desire is to improve the relationships she has particularly with her brother and son. With a well-crafted desire, understanding and intention for change, she had a great grasp of the big picture to go forward to bring these two men closer into her life. Within two weeks, her son calls from a holiday saying he has run out of money and wants her to pay for the flight home. She has little money herself but pays for the flight which causes a fight with her husband for continuing to get her nearly 30 year old son out of trouble and not allowing him to make mistakes or find solutions to his own problems. The argument with her husband and paying out money to her son makes her situation even worse, yet in some way she really begun to see how, in her words, “I never stopped picking him up. Since he was two, I would pick him up and put him on my waist to comfort him, and I am still in some way doing it.” What at first appears to be a situation where she thought she was bringing him closer by always getting the son out of trouble actually made things worse. The example is one in which so much can be revealed about how change can happen, what it can reveal about who we are and how this situation started at the seed level and just kept growing. So much of the lives we live have manifested because of what we have enabled to happen through our own behaviours and thoughts. The woman had to go through another bad situation and a fight to actually

see who she was in this situation. She was still living out many feelings of guilt and overcompensation which she harboured for the son’s upbringing and as a result created a man who could not really work anything out for himself, yet the moment she wanted it to change a situation arose perfectly for her to see how this has happened and begin her process of transformation. It’s a great case for the book’s mantra that change isn’t easy but it is rewarding. The son and mother now are in the process of change and healing and developing a relationship based on love but not guilt. When we set our minds on a desire, dream, ambition, it can be very easy to start to try and control what is outside of us and start to try and manipulate every situation to fit with how we see every part of our world. Often, we want our desires to turn to reality right away and have them transpire in front us. This need for immediacy in our lives can mean we start to drive plans for how things will eventuate. It would not be obvious for the woman to have a fight with her husband as the prime diver for her to transform the situation with her son, however, to her credit she only had a clear and certain goal in the big picture, not a detailed step-by-step guide to how the process must be. When we want new situations in our lives we don’t have to worry about what our new life looks like, we just need to remain open and certain of the possibility and something very special will start to happen. We will be on the journey and happy on the journey. When we remain open and remove any set agenda, we are in a position to allow magic and miracles to happen.

Activity
By now we have a goal or a desire. Write down what this goal or desire means, how important it is, all the reasons for having the desire and how it would benefit us and the people around us. Think about who can help us achieve this goal and share it with them. See how many people we can talk about this goal with and how it would really help and benefit us. See if we can begin to notice something start to happen. Make a few notes about people’s engagement into our desire and how they engage with us. Asking for help is important in the process of change.

The arrival of our manifestation
Let’s remember our opening statement. We exist within our own personal universe. A system that controls us and ultimately what we want to change is who is running the system. We probably won’t remove the negativity inside of us but we can change its power over us. We can stop its effects. We can stop our reactions based on pain, anger, suffering, judgment and doubt. We can appease its tyranny. Instead, we can change this world’s domination and allow our world of light to shine. We can change a situation from negative to light by what we bring out inside of us. When we create or manifest something in our lives, we want it to be born from the world of light. We want the essence of who we truly are to be within everything we share. If we manifest in the world around us, it needs to be sparked from love, happiness, joy and fulfillment. When our desire to create something comes to the world around us, we want it to have an energy that really encapsulates the best of us within. We know that to reveal our light in the world, we have to go through a process. We have to overcome our dark, negative world that will want to control and stop us. However, this sense of overcoming challenges and earning our way to the goal through the process heightens our fulfillment. We win the game. We master our lives. We are the game-master, now. So, the challenges involved with overcoming our own nature are there in order to give us a sense of earning. Earning is very important to build our esteem, value and place in the world. The world can enable us to feel a sense of deserving. Why is better to earn something rather than just have it land in our lap? And, how does deserving do us a disservice? What is the good in earning our goal over deserving our goal? There are many cases of people in financially-challenging situations who have won a lot of money. We get a sense inside of us that this is wonderfully fair and a great deal of good has been done. However, in a lot of cases, this new found wealth has led to disaster within these families including jail, murder, bankruptcy and family distress. This sudden bolt of finance or injection of wealth has burnt them like toast. The better alternative is for us to grow with success. If we are financially challenged it is better for us to earn money and grow slowly within and outside for us to deal and grow with what is coming. The same principle can be applied to a new relationship, job, family or project. For us to start to overcome our personal challenges and goals,

we need to feel a sense of ownership and growth. The more we earn, the more we feel positive about what we have including appreciation, joy and happiness, while a quick fix usually brings jealousy, chaos and more distress. Taking proactive steps to earn will lead to fulfillment and further prosperity. If we want to happen in our lives, it has to come from a sincere desire. The desire has to come from the world of love, sharing, caring, and thoughtfulness of others. The intention had to be in the right place. Intentions are never enough but still important. We have gone to through the process and the challenges and deliver on the goods. Those thousands of self-help books out there haven’t changed anything because they haven’t explained the importance of the sincere desire and the beauty of the process and that’s what change is all about. To sit back on the lounge, read a lovely book, and think nice thoughts and ideas puts us in the realm of self-help and law of attraction. The real change we want in our lives won’t eventuate. It’s important to have ideas, perspectives, thoughts and images of how our new home is going to look, but we need to also think about being proactive. It’s about the journey and even more importantly, who we are on that journey. Let’s say we want a new house. Yes, the idea is very exciting and motivating but we know that the thoughts of it are not going to keep us excited. So, we look through magazines to find pictures of what the house will look like or even perhaps pick which house we want to buy. That’s very good but still doesn’t mean we have attracted it into our lives. Positive thought and clear goals are good but not enough. We need to get into action and into a process. We have to be open to change, then on the journey, watch the miracles come through the door. When the manifestation is arriving, it will have an energy about it. People will be drawn to it. We will be satisfied, fulfilled, accomplished and inspired. The motivation to do more will come after the hard work. Motivation is something we need to earn over a period of time. It’s not something we can learn about or have infused into us by someone else. Even motivation is earned, not deserved. The energy we have accumulated along the process will sustain us for further desires and we will go on to give birth to bigger and better things. Start small but not too small, make sure there is some challenge to overcome. Do whatever we can to overcome that challenge and we will have earned and be our own inspiration!

Activity
When it comes to manifesting something we want in our lives what would we like to overcome? Think about the challenges in our life. What is that will move us from our dark world so that our bright, light world can shine through and help us? Once we have thought about something within us we want to change, think about a goal we want to achieve. Now, let’s start to put the commitment to the goal in place. We won’t stop until that goal is done and we will be open to changing the rubbish inside along the way. For example, we want to be less irritable. We also know that we have been avoiding cleaning out that shed or cupboard for a year. Today, we will make a start and at every point along the way of cleaning this cupboard or shed we are going to be a patient, fun, happy person and if we get irritated, we are going to remind ourselves how much better a clean cupboard or shed will be for us and our family. Give something like this a go. Then, go bigger!

Appreciation and control in our new life
So we have created or manifested something in our lives. It’s very good. It was created from love, happiness, wanting to share, joy and so on. We created it from the right place within us. We went through a process and overcome something within us and learned something about ourselves that we have overcome and can now have a greater ability to control our own lives. We share our manifestation and the excitement, thrill, motivation and fulfilment we have earned along the way. Ticks all around. In the effort we make to change our lives, we start to change the lives of others and the world in which we live. We have come to a greater understanding of our strengths, vulnerabilities and who we are. It is a discovery of our unique characteristics and an enlightened understanding of the two worlds that we live within. With the manifestation, we have lifted our self-esteem, love, confidence, happiness and all those wonderful things we want the world to know us for. We have expressed our talents, gifts and passion. Every day after this is no turning back. We know that once we have achieved a goal no matter how big or small we think it is for us, there is no going back to old ways, repetitive outcomes and a life of the same reoccurring problems. Our life has transformed and moved forward. There are little jewels along the way we find out about ourselves The little things that make us who we are and make us tick come very much to the surface. Things that we never picked up on before really come to the present. Even if the manifestation is something like making a cake totally from love, not from a rush, obligation or pressure, we reveal a different side of ourselves that we have never noticed. Our personalities and characteristics start to develop like a muscle and we again begin to appreciate ourselves. Appreciation is the highest state of being we can have. We want fulfilment, love, passion, happiness, joy and these are all amazing states, but appreciation is the ultimate. If we can learn to appreciate ourselves then we have peace of mind. Peace of mind is our personal heaven of the personal universe we are wanting to control. Our personalities and characteristics create our sense of individuality and uniqueness in the world. Why do we need to develop them? What is the purpose of change? Why is balance so important? Many of us reach a stage in our lives when we come to understand who we are. We recognize our traits, strengths, challenges and how we manage and

behave in life’s various situations. Who we are at work is not who we might be with our family or who we are when playing sport or our shopping. What we must do to reach our goals is grab hold of who we are in these situations and start to bring about our true selves and the essence of us. If we are always competitive, serious, upset, anxious or any particular trait we need to learn to restrict our reactive behaviour and start to have control of what is happening inside. To attract a better quality of family relationship we might need to think about different ways of being proactive and create a sense of unity. If we have a competitive nature at work or we might need to work better in groups or allow someone else to lead in order to get the promotion we are wanting. We ask ourselves, “What can I change within me to make this happen?” Often reaching our goals are realised by having a balanced and controlled approach to what we are after. Overcoming our predictive natures and doing something in a different way and out-of-the-box could be just the trick! We gain an excitement and appreciation for new things about us and we move forward and change. The desire for change has added the cream to cake because we have transformed something new that has been hidden. Through earning, we have gained an elevated sense of who we are in this world and the world begins to also change to allow these sparks of light to shine and these new shoots to grow. Once we gain an appreciation for who we are, our path and what are talents are to share with the world, then we are sparked. We can then notice our rubbish even more to go deeper into the onion and peel back some of those other negative traits inside of us and our negative reactions and let the light shine through into the world through the energy and manifestations we want.

Activity
With appreciation we can go to a higher level of change in our lives and the world we live in. How do we take the next step forward? Is there someone we could appreciate more? Is there something about us we could learn to appreciate? Are things we can’t see, hear, touch, smell, but we know is being done for us for which we could remember and be thankful? Try and think about the good things we have and develop more of an understanding of how they help us in our lives and could be developed. Write for a list of all the things in our life we see and that we don’t see but we know are bring done for us. Let’s make a resolution around this list. Today we are going to remember to say thank you and why we are thankful as often as we can when we receive. Thank you for the coffee, it really helps my day. Thank you for dinner, it is always a beautiful meal to share with you. Thank you for doing that job, it really made a difference. Did you see those flowers? They look great this time of year and get me smiling. Try it.

Taking change to the next level: Share and repeat
This brings the basic guidance of the book on how to find change in our life to a close. These are the essential elements that can bring us into a new level to get the breakthrough in our lives that we want. We want to change and yes, as human on this planet, we can change. The power to change is not out there it is in here. It is inside us. Everything we need to create change is within. There is room for doubt but that’s the beauty of it. That’s what we overcome on the challenge of journey. We earn the ability to have a new way of life. The excitement and appreciation wants us to do one thing. It wants us to then connect at this final stage. We need to connect our energy to other people and we do this through the action of sharing. We form connections through sharing what we created, what we went through, what we had to overcome, the highlights and how we are taking it forward. Relationships, help, support and the way we bring people into our lives are what we need to focus. To take our change on to another level, we must make sure that we share. Sharing is the healing part of the process. Sharing is when we can really have all those negative parts of us removed and the positive become stronger aspect of our lives. In the sharing, it important to get the relationship we form cemented well. It is not about our ego, rubbish or how amazing we are. It’s about sharing in a way that reflects our two inner worlds and what we create and it’s sharing without wanting anything in return. If we make a change in our life and create something in a new way, it’s a great time to bring people in and share. This sharing heals the relationship within. How often do we consider the relationship within? What do we want to love inside? What are we married or attached to in regards to who we are? Relationships with family, friends and partners are challenging. They can be the very things that really help us grow or they can pull us down. Finding the right partner can be something that is a challenge in itself. If we start to consider the relationship with who we are, the journey can be made a little lighter. Looking for the positives within us and the things we want to change are the first step. To take the first step into a relationship with ourselves is to ask ourselves how we see or define love. The only real thing in life is love so it is an important concept. What can we do to bolster love? How does our love affect others? What do we love about ourselves? Once we have shared all the aspects of our desires, journey, process, rubbish we overcome and what we learned about ourselves, we can start to consider

the next level of our changes. We are now revealing more of our light world, true essence and in control of who we really, then we are less ruled by dark world. The light world is shining brighter and wants to change and reveal itself more in our own personal universe. The worlds inside us are not alike. They are two opposites. We have a choice as to which one we attract into our lives and we can choose which one has the last say. Everyone on the planet is ruled by the dark planet. We are sometimes ruled by our rubbish and our ego. We make most of our decisions out of deep seeded fears. This is a good thing and not to be angry about or get upset. This gives us a chance to change. We all want to change and become a better person and we want to earn it. We are born to be connected to our very own, unique, special light world in order to change.

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