"Know thyself".

Socrates

"It is wisdom to know others. It is enlightenment to know one's self." Lao-Tzu

If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone. Maxwell Maltz quotes (US plastic surgeon, motivational author, and creator of the Psycho-C

Know Yourself
http://www.essentiallifeskills.net/knowyourself.html
To know yourself is your first priority.
How can you set goals, go about life, and have relationships if you don't know who you are or what you want? You really can't. To not know yourself leads to confusion and wasting much time in hit and miss situations. We tend to underestimate the importance of knowing ourselves. Many of us go through each day reacting to events and just getting by rather than making conscious choices based on who we are and what we want. When we don't know where we are headed it's hard to set goals, get motivated and determine the best course of action. Before we can do any of these things we must establish who we are. To know yourself:

Be aware of your strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes Observe and be aware of your moods, reactions and responses to what is happening around you

Become aware of how these moods and emotions affect your state of mind Examine how you interact with others Observe how your environment affects you

Knowing and understanding yourself better, in turn, leads to better decisionmaking, setting and reaching appropriate goals and altogether living more productively.

How to know yourself better?

12 March 2011, 2:29 am If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

How to know yourself better?

Do you know yourself? Do you know who you really are? How to get to know yourself better? There are many things you should know about yourself, but first you have to improve your self awareness and. Self awareness means you have to be aware of your habits, behaviors, emotions, and how you react to various situations. Many people dont understand the depths of their personalities and end up living life not knowing who they really are. To know yourself and who you are is an on-going journey that doesnt have an end. What you have to remember is that the more you get to know yourself, the more you will increase your self confidence, the better you will think, the better you will behave, and the faster you will achieve your goals.
How to know yourself

To improve your self awareness and to know yourself better, follow the quick guide below: 1. Know your strengths Every individual in this world has various talents and skills. You start learning from childhood by observing what others do such as your parents, friends, and family, which psychologists refer to by name of cognitive learning.

What this means is that you first become aware of a certain behavior, then the behavior becomes a new habit of yours as you start applying it to your life. Start asking yourself questions like What am good at? What are my strengths? Do I have a good voice than I can develop for singing? What you have to do is recognize your strongest areas and begin to strengthen your talents. 2. Know your weaknesses Just like every person, everyone also has some weaknesses along with strengths. Weaknesses could be negative habits, excessive fear, excessive shyness or any habit that is undesirable. The first step you need to do to overcome your weakness is to recognize that you have one, which is a necessary step you need to take if you want to know yourself better. There are some people who refuse to acknowledge that they do have a weakness, hence they fail to grow, improve, and enhance themselves. 3. Know your purpose Do you know what you want out of life? What you know what motivates you to give your best? What is your purpose in life? As I mentioned in my book the ultimate guide to achieve your goals you have to know your purpose in life and what you want to achieve and accomplish, otherwise, you would stay living life aimlessly. When I wanted to find my purpose in life, I had to dig deep inside my soul to find what I really want to achieve. One of the best questions that helped me find my purpose was when I asked myself What would I be doing if I were a billionaire? This question has helped me know exactly what I couldnt live without which is to be in the personal development field to help people accomplish their goals in life and make a positive difference in their lives and mine. 4. Know your beliefs Different men have different opinions; some like apples, some onions Everyone has his own opinions and beliefs. What you believe in and what you like can be good for you, but not for someone else. The contrary is true as well, what is good for someone else, doesnt mean it is good for you.

It is ok to believe something that your friend doesnt believe in. Each has his own opinion, the important part is you have to know your opinions and beliefs, so you can know yourself better. Let me ask you a question, wouldnt life be boring if we were all alike? Having different opinions, beliefs, and likes are what make life sweet as there is variety and uniqueness. Always remember that if you want to live a successful life, you need to know who you are. The more you know yourself, the more successful life you will lead.
http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2010/03/19/how-to-get-to-know-yourself-better-3great-tips/
He who knows others is learned; He who knows himself is wise. Lao-tzu Who are you? What is your daily and weekly life really about? Those not always easy questions to answer. So today Id like to share three tips that have helped me to get to know myself a bit better and to see my life more accurately. 1. What part of you do you see in them? What we see in others is quite often what we see in ourselves. And what irritates us in people may be what we dont like in ourselves. What you judge in someone you are actually judging in yourself. Therefore what you notice and what irritates you in others can teach you important things about yourself. Things you may not be aware of. In a way people can be like a mirror for you. A mirror that can help you to learn more about yourself, what you fear and how you may be fooling yourself. So, what people generally irritate you? What do you often judge or criticize people for? What can that tell you about you? 2. Do the unusual thing. When faced with a choice in your daily life, step back for a minute and think. Then take the option that is and feels unusual for you.

If you often back down just dont for this one time. If you often get into arguments with people then just this one time dont and instead just let it go or treat the other person with kindness. Do the opposite of what you usually do and see what happens (while using common sense of course). Do something new and something you wouldnt expect from yourself. This is a fun and great way to get new experiences and to learn things about the world and about yourself that you wouldnt if you kept going like you usually do. Its also a great way to be surprised about life as things often turn out more positively than in your fear filled daydreams if you just take action. Getting stuck in the same old routine until it becomes a rut can suck the life out of you. Doing the unusual thing in small and big situations, no matter how it goes, is a great way to feel alive again and to reveal aspects of yourself that may have been hidden from you. 3. Journal. Journaling is a fine way to get a more accurate picture of yourself and your life. A few ways that I have used journaling to get to know myself and my life are:

Journal about how you use your time. Just write down what you do during one day. Or

during one week. Write down what you spend your time on and how much time you spend on each thing. You may, as me, be surprised about how much time you waste on procrastinating and pretty pointless busy work. Even if you may have an image of yourself as an effective person.

Journal about what you think. What do you think about during a normal day? Or a

week? Write it all down. By doing so you can find recurring patterns of thought such as fears or maybe that you spend a lot of time regretting what happened in the past. Or you may find that you are actually a more positive person than you may think. This is a really interesting exercise because it can help you spot both positive things and negative things about yourself and just how accurate your current image of yourself is. Youll probably run into some surprises.

Journal about what you eat. I used this to lose weight. If you want to lose weight you

have to consume less calories that you use. So how do you know what to eat and how much? You got to monitor it in some way. I used the free and very simple Fitday.com to monitor what I eat during the day. This is essential stuff. Because the three normal and most of the time actually pretty healthy meals I ate in the past consisted of the same amount of calories I used during the day. So little progress was made. To keep things within effective and healthy limits I think its important to monitor what you do. But not to get obsessed about these things though. The main point is to keep an eye on what you are actually doing instead of guesstimating a whole lot.

How to Be Yourself
1. Find yourself and define yourself on your terms. Oscar Wilde once said with his usual wit: Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. As humorous as this might seem, it's a basic summation of the truth. Yet, you can't be yourself if you don't know, understand, andaccept yourself first. It should be your primary goal to find this out. Find the time to dwell upon what you value and take time to consider what makes up the essence of who you are. As part of this, contemplate your life and choices. Try to think about what kinds of things you would or wouldn't like to do, and act accordingly; finding out through trial and error helps more than you might think it does. You can even take personality tests, but be careful to only take what you want from them so that you do not let such tests define you. Instead, ensure that the defining you do is based on your own terms and is something you feel absolutely comfortable with.
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In finding your values, don't be surprised if some of them seem to conflict. This is a natural result of taking on broad values from a variety of sources, including culture, religion, mentors, inspiring people, educational sources, etc. What does matter is that you continue working through these conflicts to resolve what values feel most true to yourself.

2.

Avoid fixating on the past and not letting yourself grow.

Avoid fixating on the past and not letting yourself grow. One of the most unhealthy approaches to being oneself is to make a decision that who you are is defined by a moment or period of time, after which you spend the rest of your life trying to still be that person from the past rather than someone who is still you but grows with the passing of each season and decade. Allow yourself this space to grow, to improve, to becomewiser. And allow yourself to forgive past errors and past behaviors you're not so proud of. Work on accepting mistakes and choices you've made; they're

done and in the past. You had your reasons for them and the decision made sense at the time, so instead of harnessing yourself to past mistakes, allow yourself to learn their lessons and continue to grow.
o

Look for people around you who proudly proclaim they are no different than they were the day they turned 16 or 26 or 36, or whatever. Do these people seem flexible,easygoing, happy people? Often they are not because they are so busy insisting that nothing has changed for them ever, that they're incapable of taking on new ideas, learning from others, or growing. They might believe adamantly that they are "being themselves" but in reality they are often enslaved by the past and a particular image of themselves that they would have done better to have released long ago. Growth into every new age and stage of our lives is an essential part of being true to ourselves and to being emotionally healthy and whole.

3.

Stop caring about how people perceive you.

Stop caring about how people perceive you. Some of them will like you and some of them won't. Either attitude is as likely to be right or wrong. It's next-to-impossible to be yourself when you're caught up in constantly wondering "Do they think I'm funny? Does she think I'm fat? Do they think I'm stupid? Am I good/clever/popular enough to be a part of their group of friends?" To be yourself, you've got to let go of these concerns and just let your behavior flow, with only your consideration of others as a filter not theirconsideration of you. Besides, if you change yourself for one person or group, another person or group may not like you, and you could go on forever in a vicious cycle trying to please people instead of focusing on building up your talents and strengths; being a peoplepleaser or always wanting everyone's love and respect is a totally pointless exercise in the end that can harm your personal development and confidence. Who cares what other people say? As Eleanor Roosevelt said once, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent" and what

matters most is that you listen to your own inner confidence and if it's missing, that you start developing it!
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Does this mean no one's opinion in life matters? No. It hurts if you're socially rejected. If you're forced into a situation where you must spend most or all of your time among people who can't stand you for reasons of their own, it's dangerous to internalize their negative ideas of who you are. What you can do is exercise some choice in whose opinions you value more than others. It's much healthier to pay attention to people who genuinely mean you well and who agree with you about what you want to do with your life. Someone can mean you well in their own terms and steer you down the wrong path with all the passion of real conscience if they think you'd be better off in a different occupation, different lifestyle or religion. Think of an enthusiastic evangelist from a different religion. If you are an evangelistic Christian, think of how it feels to be pestered by the Krishna people about their faith and vice versa. Don't trivialize it if you face negative social pressure or bullying. It's easier to withstand it if you are aware of it as pressure and build healthy defenses. Building up a circle of trusted friends and people who share your views and beliefs in life is a good way to help reduce the impact of hostile people. You can tell yourself their opinions don't matter, but that's a lot easier when there are others who agree with you and stand by you. Learn the difference between intimidating, throwaway, conniving, or thoughtless comments from others and constructive criticism which is well intended and focuses on real faults that you know could do with remedying. In the latter case, people such as parents, mentors, teachers, coaches, etc., might well be telling you things that you need to digest and mull over at your own pace, to make self-improvements for the better. The difference is that their critique of you is intended to be caring, interested in how you grow as a person, and respectful. Learn how to spot the difference and you will live well, dismissing the undermining critique, and learning from the constructive critique.

4.

Be honest and open.

Be honest and open. What have you got to hide? We're all imperfect, growing, learning human beings. If you feel ashamed or insecure about any aspect of yourself and you feel that you have to hide those parts of you, whether physically or emotionally then you have to come to terms with that and learn to convert your so-called flaws into individualistic quirks or simply as basic, down-toearth acknowledgments of your own imperfections. Be honest with yourself, but don't beat yourself up; apply this philosophy to others, as well. There is a difference between being critical and being honest; learn to watch the way you say things to yourself and others when being honest.
o

Try the tactic of owning up to your imperfections mid-argument with someone. You will often discover that suddenly you've removed the very reason for stubbornly holding the line of argument, which is often about preserving face and not giving in. The moment you say, "Yeah, look I get really irritable when the room's in a mess too. And I acknowledge that I shouldn't leave my clothes in a pile on the floor and yet, I do it because that's a lazy part of myself I'm still trying to train out of the habit. I'm sorry. I know I could do better, and I will try.", you suddenly infuse an argument with genuine self-honesty that disarms the entire point of the argument, which in this case is messy habits but could apply to anything about your own behavior.

5.

Relax.

Relax. Stop worrying about the worst that could happen, especially in social situations. So what if you fall flat on your face? Or get spinach stuck in your teeth? Or accidentally head butt your date when leaning in for a kiss? Learn to laugh at yourself both when it happens and afterward. Turn it into a funny story that you can share with others. It lets them know that you're not perfect and makes you feel more at ease, too. It's also an attractive quality for someone to be able to laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously!

6.

Treat yourself as you'd treat your own best friend.

Treat yourself as you'd treat your own best friend. You value your friends and those close to you; well, who is closer to you than you are? Give yourself the same kind, thoughtful, and respectful treatment that you give to other people you care about. If you had to hang out with yourself for a day, what is the most fun/enjoyable/fulfilled/calm/contented type of person you could be, while still being yourself? What is the best version of you? Believe in this idea and use that as your starting point. Love and accept yourself as you are now, just as you do for your close ones.
o

Be responsible for yourself and for boosting your self-esteem. If others aren't telling you you're great, don't let it get to you. Instead, tell yourself you're special, wonderful, and worthwhile. When you believe these things about yourself, others will recognize that glow of self-confidence and begin confirming your self-affirmations in no time!

7.

Develop and express your individuality.

Develop and express your individuality. Whether it's your sense of style, or even your manner of speaking, if your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream and produces positive outcomes, then be proud of it. Be a character, not a type. Learn to communicate well - the better you can express yourself, the easier it is for the people who like you as you are to find you and the ones who don't to just steer clear.

8.

Stop comparing yourself to others.

Stop comparing yourself to others. If you're always striving to be someone you're not already, you'll never be a happy person. This comes about through comparing yourself to others and finding yourself wanting in certain ways. This is a slippery slope to tread, though. You can always see the appearances others wish to portray publicly but you won't ever see what's really going on behind their faades in their apparently perfect world. By comparing yourself to others, you give their imageportrayal way too much power and reduce your own worth based on a mirage. It's a useless activity that only brings harm. Instead, value the person you are, love your personality, and embrace your flaws; we all have them, and as explained earlier, being honest is better than running from them.
o

Avoid being unfair to yourself. Sometimes comparison causes us to compare apples with pears. We'd like to be a top movie producer in Hollywood when we're a lowly, aspiring scriptwriter. To see that top producer's lifestyle and find yourself wanting as

a result is an unfair comparison that person has years of experience and hobnobbing behind them, while you're just starting out, testing the waters with writing skills that may one day prove to be exceptional. Be realistic in your comparisons and only look to other people as inspiration and as sources of motivation, not as a means to belittling yourself. Never stop looking for your own strengths. Over time, these may change and thus, so may your definition of yourself, but never let up in focusing and refocusing on them. They more than adequately balance out your flaws and are the principal reason for not comparing yourself to others. Comparison leads to resentment. A person filled with resentment cannot focus on the mantra of "be yourself" because they are too busy hankering after someone else's spoils! Comparison leads also to criticism of others. A life filled with criticizing others stems from low self-esteem and a need to pull other's off their perches that you've placed them on. That's both a way to lose friends and respect, and it's also a way of never being yourself because you're envy-struck and spending too much time on others, not on improving yourself.

9.

Follow your own style.

Follow your own style. The common thing a lot of people do is copy others' actions because it seems like the better route to fit in, but really, shouldn't you stand out? Standing out is very hard, yes, but you need to try avoid assuming other people's perspectives of you, even if it's not something you would normally do; that's what being yourself is all about. Maybe you like to sit outside on the deck under an umbrella in the middle of the rain, maybe you have different ideas of things, rather than other people, maybe you like strawberry cake instead of the common chocolate cake, whatever you are, accept it.Being different is absolutely beautiful and it attracts people to you. Don't let people change you!

10.

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Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and that some days you are the statue.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and that some days you are the statue. People might raise eyebrows and even make fun, but as long as you can shrug and say "Hey, that's just me" and leave it at that, people will ultimately respect you for it, and you'll respect yourself.

Tips

Respect others as much as you respect yourself. While being yourself means expressing yourself and your opinions, dreams, and preferences, it certainly doesn't mean ramming these down other people's throats! Everyone has needs, dreams, and wants that are equally deserving and it's up to each one of us to acknowledge the other's value as much as our own. Therefore, avoid being rude, thoughtless, or egotistical in your journey to being yourself. Fads and trends are a personal decision. While some people avoid them like the plague in the name of "individualism", others recognize them for what they are - groupspeak for fun and sharing in a particular period of time. Whether or not you choose to follow trends and participate in fads is entirely up to you; it doesn't mean you're not being yourself when you've made the choice for yourself to do so. Be bold. As the famous song says: "Life's not worth a damn, until you can say 'I am what I am'!" and your sincerity at uttering such words is paramount in boldly proclaiming that you rock. It can be hard to show your true interests at times, when others don't care or mock them, but stand tall and simply expect others to at the very least, respect your choices. Having an air of authority and friendly expectation will do more than acting grievously wounded or angry when others disrespect your personal preferences. Remember, humor is far more likely to disarm and charm than irritability and a foaming mouth. Balance bad habits and rein them in. Addiction to drugs, alcohol, internet, gaming, whatever, is disrespectful to the self and ultimately hurts the self more than any others. Find selfcalming techniques in more constructive ways, such as meditation, relaxation, writing, music, sport, being active, cooking up a storm, etc. While some may call you names and speak ill of your choices to be your weird, goofy self, most will respect your courage and certainty of self. And it is not a beauty parade where you're seeking votes of approval anyway. Others like friends in their lives who live tall, proud, and differently because it gives them the strength to show themselves in the same light. Work on the things that you dislike about yourself instead of seeing them as stumbling blocks to being a whole person. A too-large butt, a pimply face, a poor ability at math, a hatred of

foreigners, alienating others with your anger, etc. these are all things you can make a decision to fix or change, and the sooner, the better! Improve your self-esteem and your future by constantly working on the things you're less than pleased about yourself and finding solutions that stick. Change is a constant. So changing who you are over time is inevitable, and is always likely to be a good thing if you've been stayed informed, relevant, and clued in to the world around you and have allowed your personal development to be a top priority in your life. Set an example for others instead of criticizing them. You don't like what you see? Show them how to be better by being living proof of your own preferred way. It might help you to see that everyone is showing you a mirror of yourself. In this way, what reflects back at you is 90 percent what you're giving out. And you have 100 percent responsibility for yourself and your own actions! A Buddhist tale tells of the importance of facing things we'd rather not at times: Three monks went toward a gate. The first monk went up to it but a snarling dog was there. He shook with fear and ran but the dog ran after him and ate him. The second monk went to the gate and also ran away but the dog caught up with him and gobbled him up. The third monk approached the gate and sized up the dog quickly. He gave the dog no time to bark but charged at him yelling fiercely. The dog whimpered, placed its tail between its legs and ran like mad away from the monk. The moral of the tale is to face your fears before they eat you up. Being yourself includes facing your fears and not letting them get the better of you, for as soon as you let fear run your life, you start marching to other people's tunes, often tunes aimed at making you subservient, obedient, and in conformity with their preferences.

EditWarnings

Not caring about how others perceive you doesn't mean letting go of the grooming and etiquette. Basic respect for yourself and others is founded in the rules of etiquette to ensure that we can all live together in harmony and with a basic level of expectation for how we will interact with one another politely. The less manners we use, the less we respect others, and ultimately, ourselves because we're trying to be domineering and arrogant rather than cooperative and considerate. Use your manners widely, and be thoughtful of others. Do not confuse cultural and social expectations with your desire to be unique. Sometimes thumbing your nose at convention will lead you to be ostracized or worse, so use your common sense when flaunting your individuality! Love your friends but don't fall into walking to their rhythm alone. Keep yourself individual and spread your time around various different people and activities with others so that you don't end up unwittingly behaving like a "clone" of your friends within one inner circle. Striving to be something you're not can be healthy when it involves improving academic, sport, and social interactions skills. It can be highly harmful when you're striving to "be like" someone else just to have their popularity, appearance, and attitudes rub off on you. Keep unique by keeping your perspective focused on building your strengths through the inspiration of others, not through becoming like them. Flaws deserve celebration because the mere act of acknowledging them takes such strength. However, flaws that can be remedied through study, focus, or other means should

not be neglected through laziness or disinterest. Fix what you can about yourself where the cost of not doing so will dampen your enthusiasm and reduce your enjoyment of life. It doesn't always pay to "be yourself". Sometimes to get ahead in life you need to fulfil what a company, a school, a powerful person wants from you. Sometimes you may need to be what they seek for a short time just to reach goals of your own choosing. You could stand on principle and thumb your nose at the situation and lose out as a result, or you could temporarily swallow your pride and fake it till you make it, nurturing your real self outside the particular context (at home, with friends, etc.) until your own authority is more powerful. It's not always a dastardly dead to submerge your real self until your time comes; you need to be the best judge of that in the path you've chosen in life. Know when going with the flow is easier than piping up. Sometimes it's easier just to agree to going to a rock concert for a band you can't stand to keep your friends happy. That's about fitting in and being respectful of other's preferences rather than about soiling your own preferences. Again, think manners and good socializing. In turn, they are more likely to be responsive to coming along to things you'd rather do. If being yourself means you will end up in a cave all your life because you truly don't fit in anywhere, it's time for a rethink. That could be teetering on selfish thinking rather than independent thinking. Or it is a much more drastic external situation like being a gay person born to a homophobic family in a homophobic community within a homophobic ethnic group. If any community of people raised the way you were who look like you would react badly to something real about you, that's a bad situation. It doesn't make you a bad person or make the real thing untrue. It's almost impossible to be yourself in that kind of situation. At that point you face hard choices about where and how to live. The choice that works for you best is the one to make. In those situations, even though it seems that way, you're not the only one. Many people throughout history have relocated in order to live without fear of prejudice. Surprisingly, not all of them lost their family ties when coming out.

Make a conscious decision to be your own best friend. Look into the mirror and tell yourself, I will

always be there for you. I will never let you down. Do this every day.
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Believe in yourself. If the going gets rough, take a minute to tell yourself, You can do this. You are strong and resourceful. You will get through this!
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Compliment yourself. Deliberately write down something you like about yourself each day in a notebook, and once a week read back over the list to give yourself a boost.
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Treat yourself. Take yourself out for ice cream when you are blue, or buy yourself that book you have been wanting to read. Sometimes we get so caught up in others lives we forget to take time for ourselves.
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Forgive yourself if you do make a wrong choice, and move on. Nobodys perfect, and you wouldnt hold a grudge towards your best friend, would you?

Read more: How to Be Best Friends With Yourself | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_2319599_be-best-friendsyourself.html#ixzz1Y1czE1gU

http://wellbeing.doctissimo.com/my-personality/self-image/eleven-ways-to-become-friendswith-yourself-again.html

Eleven ways to become friends with yourself again

Perhaps youre not all that happy with your body? Can you only see the things that are wrong with it? Doctissimo suggests eleven ways to make friends with yourself again.

Thinkstock Complexes are, for the most part, all in the mind! Before thinking about putting your body in the hands of a surgeon, try following these bits of advice:

1. You are pretty... or handsome in your own way: Accept how you look and above all, like yourself! Since when does not looking like what a handful of Hollywood producers say you should look like mean that you are unattractive? That hasnt stopped you from getting a partner or friends who value you! Forget about your nose that you think is too big: everyone says what lovely eyes youve got! 2. No good feeling sorry for yourself: Dont blame all your problems on your hang-ups. It wasnt your cellulite that made you lose your job! And if it was, so much the better: people who cannot see your qualities and stop at excuses dont deserve you! And above all stop telling yourself that you are too this or not enough that... If you say it often enough, youll end up believing it! 3. Discuss it: Confide in someone! Talk to someone you can really trust. Ask them for an honest opinion. If they say they can see this bad point in you, maybe theyre not such a good friend after all...or they are too honest. 4. Swap bad points: Ask your friends if theres anything about themselves that they would like to improve...Youll see: everyone has something they dont like about themselves! And everybody manages to live perfectly well with it! 5. Lie down on the couch: If your hang-ups are really ruining your life, dont be afraid to consult a specialist. A psychologist or psychiatrist can help you get your self-confidence back. 6. Choose your friends: Learn to surround yourself with friends who really like you as a person. Avoid those who are quick to criticise and who only want to put you down. If you need to, make new friends... Are the good mates who sling havent you put on a bit of weight? in your direction really your friends? 7. Add up all your good points: Make a list of all your qualities: humour, honesty, efficiency... Youll see that you really are a good person! If you need to, keep this list at hand to look at if you get really depressed. 8. Stop weighing yourself: Stop wanting to get thinner! Do you really want to look like an anorexic model? Youre most probably the right weight and if this isnt totally the case, start a reliable and realistically aimed diet, with the help of a nutritionist. 9. Renew your friendship with your body: Start to feel again and treat yourself. Dont be afraid to go to the steam room (youll see that no-one is perfect) and book yourself in for a full-body massage. And for goodness sakes, dont be afraid to have a good meal from time to time. 10. Get a new wardrobe: Try to dress up to the nines all year round. If you dont choose clothes that suit you and show off your good points, how are you going to like yourself? Have a ruthless throw-out of anything that makes you look like a bag-lady and do the rounds of the shops, going for bright colours. If youve got a bit of extra cash, why not go in for a relooking a bit of personality coaching, a new hairstyle and makeup and wardrobe tips could be just the thing. 11. Come back down to earth: Be realistic! Stop comparing yourself to magazine celebs! Look at the normal human beings around you! Dont real people have more of a real beauty about them?

Would You Be Friends With Yourself?

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Consider having an out of body experience. Imagine walking along and meeting yourself, the way you are now. Would you be friends with yourself? If your character and actions are not congruent with what you think makes up a good friend, then perhaps its time to start lowering standards of friends, or raising standards of yourself.

What do you look for when considering who you will accept as a friend? Do you need them to be nice, intelligent, outgoing, good looking, fashionable, or perhaps settle for anyone thats willing to talk to you? Seriously, would you be friends with a liar and a thief just because youre lonely and in need of companionship? To me integrity and compassion are at the foundation of a good person, and friend. I also like to surround myself with people that I can learn from about life. I enjoy the company of intelligent people that are positive, optimistic, and motivated. I love it when my friends have a special talent, unique philosophy, and other outstanding characteristics. Basically, I like to become friends with people I admire, and I admire the people that are my friends. The strategy is to raise the standards of what you expect from yourself. If you wouldnt be friends with a person that is just like you, then perhaps you arent living up to your potential, and you arent really satisfied with who you are. Its fine to say that whoever you are is perfect, but its not practical. I believe that the journey is more important than the destination. I do not believe that a person is imperfect until they achieve something or other. Are you aware of your philosophies and behavior? Are you the type of person that you would consider being friends with?

Never mind searching for who you are. Search for the person you aspire to be. ~Robert Brault,www.robertbrault.com Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor. ~Dr. Alexis Carrel The greatest explorer on this earth never takes voyages as long as those of the man who descends to the depth of his heart. ~Julien Green There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anas Nin The value of identity of course is that so often with it comes purpose. ~Richard Grant Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a

very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer. ~Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why. ~James Thurber I know well what I am fleeing from but not what I am in search of. ~Michel de Montaigne If you don't get lost, there's a chance you may never be found. ~Author Unknown I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. ~Henry David Thoreau, 1854 A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it. ~George Moore It is good to feel lost... because it proves you have a navigational sense of where "Home" is. You know that a place that feels like being found exists. And maybe your current location isn't that place but, Hallelujah, that unsettled, uneasy feeling of lost-ness just brought you closer to it. ~Erika Harris, lifeblazing.com If in the last few years you haven't discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead. ~Gelett Burgess

Endurance is frequently a form of indecision. ~Elizabeth Bibesco, Haven, 195 Man never knows what he wants; he aspires to penetrate mysteries and as soon as he has, he wants to reestablish them. Ignorance irritates him and knowledge cloys. ~Amiel, Journal, 1884 The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life. ~Muhammad Ali Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the lake. ~Wallace Stevens One may understand the cosmos, but never the ego; the self is more distant than any star. ~G.K. Chesterton, "The Logic of Elfland," Orthodoxy, 1908 If you resist reading what you disagree with, how will you ever acquire deeper insights into what you believe? The things most worth reading are precisely those that challenge our convictions. ~Author Unknown It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts. ~K.T. Jong I met a lot of people in Europe. I even encountered myself. ~James Baldwin There are chapters in every life which are seldom read and certainly not aloud. ~Carol Shields To the question of your life, you are the only answer. To the problems of your life, you are the only solution. ~Jo Coudert, Advice From A Failure (Thanks, Elizabeth!) Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves. ~Henry David

Thoreau No single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupry, Flight to Arras, 1942, translated from French by Lewis Galantire In search of my mother's garden, I found my own. ~Alice Walker Why should we honour those that die upon the field of battle? A man may show as reckless a courage in entering into the abyss of himself. ~William Butler Yeats If you haven't had at least a slight poetic crack in the heart, you have been cheated by nature. ~Phyllis Battelle Learning how to operate a soul figures to take time. ~Timothy Leary I've left Bethlehem and I feel free... I've left the girl I was supposed to be and some day I'll be born. ~Paula Cole Resolve to be thyself; and know that he who finds himself, loses his misery. ~Matthew Arnold, "Self-Dependence," Empedocles on Etna, and Other Poems, 1852 To dare to live alone is the rarest courage; since there are many who had rather meet their bitterest enemy in the field, than their own hearts in their closet. ~Charles Caleb Colton, Lacon, 1825 No one remains quite what he was when he recognizes himself. ~Thomas Mann

Every one of us has in him a continent of undiscovered character. Blessed is he who acts the Columbus to his own soul. ~Author Unknown There's a period of life when we swallow a knowledge of ourselves and it becomes either good or sour inside. ~Pearl Bailey I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want. ~Mark Twain He who knows others is learned; He who knows himself is wise. ~Lao-tzu, Tao te Ching You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one. ~James A. Froude