Influencing For Goal Achievement - April 2011

I
IIn
nnf
ffl
llu
uue
een
nnc
cci
iin
nng
gg F
FFo
oor
rr G
GGo
ooa
aal
ll A
AAc
cch
hhi
iie
eev
vve
eem
mme
een
nnt
tt
-
-- M
MMy
yy I
IIn
nnf
ffl
llu
uue
een
nnc
cce
ee,
,, O
OOu
uur
rr S
SSu
uuc
ccc
cce
ees
sss
ss -
--

D
DDi
iis
ssc
cco
oov
vve
eer
rr
h ho ow w t to o r
rre
eea
aal
lll
lly
yy
c
cco
oon
nnn
nne
eec
cct
tt
t to o p pe eo op pl le e
B
BBu
uui
iil
lld
dd y yo ou ur r p
ppe
eer
rrs
sso
oon
nna
aal
ll
c
ccr
rre
eed
ddi
iib
bbi
iil
lli
iit
tty
yy

F
FFi
iit
tt i
iin
nn a an nd d b be e a ac cc ce ep pt te ed d i
iin
nn
a
aan
nny
yy c
cco
oom
mmp
ppa
aan
nny
yy

E
EEx
xxt
tte
een
nnd
dd y yo ou ur r c
cci
iir
rrc
ccl
lle
ee o
oof
ff
f
ffr
rri
iie
een
nnd
dds
ss

C
CCo
oom
mmm
mmu
uun
nni
iic
cca
aat
tte
ee w wh ha at t i is s s
ssp
ppe
eec
cci
iia
aal
ll
a
aab
bbo
oou
uut
tt y
yyo
oou
uu

I
IIn
nnc
ccr
rre
eea
aas
sse
ee
y yo ou ur r p
ppe
eer
rrs
sso
oon
nna
aal
ll v
vva
aal
llu
uue
ee
t to o o ot th he er rs s
M
MMa
aas
sst
tte
eer
rr T
TTh
hhe
ee D
DDN
NNA
AA O
OOf
ff S
SSu
uuc
ccc
cce
ees
sss
ssf
ffu
uul
ll I
IIn
nnf
ffl
llu
uue
een
nnc
cci
iin
nng
gg

From Jeremy Francis
CEO of Buy and Train.Com

2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

C Co on nt te en nt ts s
F Fo or rw wa ar rd d 2 2

C Ch ha ap pt te er r O On ne e G Gr ro ow wi in ng g u up p i is s h ha ar rd d t to o d do o 5 5

C Ch ha ap pt te er r T Tw wo o I I c ca an n h ha an nd dl le e i it t o or r c ca an n I I? ? 1 14 4

C Ch ha ap pt te er r T Th hr re ee e T Th he e C Ch ha al ll le en ng ge es s o of f I In nt te er rd de ep pe en nd de en nc cy y 3 32 2

C Ch ha ap pt te er r F Fo ou ur r T Th he e D DN NA A o of f I In nf fl lu ue en nc ci in ng g 3 35 5

C Ch ha ap pt te er r F Fi iv ve e C Co on nn ne ec ct ti in ng g W Wi it th h O Ot th he er rs s 4 41 1

C Ch ha ap pt te er r S Si ix x I In nc cr re ed di ib bl ly y C Cr re ed di ib bl le e 4 49 9

C Ch ha ap pt te er r S Se ev ve en n T Tr ru us st t m me e; ; I I m m n no ot t c cl lu um ms sy y 5 58 8

C Ch ha ap pt te er r E Ei ig gh ht t C Ca an n w we e b be e f fr ri ie en nd ds s? ? 6 61 1

C Ch ha ap pt te er r N Ni in ne e Y Yo ou u c ca an n r re el ly y o on n m me e 7 78 8

C Ch ha ap pt te er r T Te en n I I m m s sp pe ec ci ia al l. . Y Yo ou u n ne ee ed d m me e 9 96 6

2
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

F Fo or rw wa ar rd d
About the book.
Have you ever wondered why some people are such successful influencers and some simply fail to
exercise a positive influence over others? Why it is that some people build effective long term
relationships with others and others fail to? Why are some people so natural in their interactions
and others struggle? Then this book is for you.

To unlock the keys to successful influencing there are six steps, known as the DNA of influencing.
Learn to use these six steps and you will, as a result, be a more effective influencer.

Use the simple but effective ideas in this book to advance your career, build successful relationships
in your private life and influence in the wider community. And enjoy a new found confidence in all
three areas.

Note The book contains a number of useful links for which you will need an
INTERNET CONNECTION. The exercises contained in the book are not
interactive. To complete these you will need to use a PAPER COPY of the
book.

About Jeremy Francis
About Jeremy Francis
Jeremy Francis has worked in human resource development for over 30 years.

From a background in Training and Development within leading British and American banks in 1982
he became a self-employed Human Resource Development Consultant working with blue chip
corporates. He founded Rhema Group in 1985 with the aim of providing customised human
resource development solutions globally through the use of consultancy, instructor led training,
coaching, psychometric assessments and learning and development resources.

He is now CEO of Buy and Train (www.buyandtrain.com) which provides online, downloadable
learning and development resources.

3
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Jeremy is an author and keynote speaker frequently speaking at International Human Resource
Development Conferences.

P 1 P8 u M C
8 C A 1 u l

His most recent keynote speaker assignments were an address to the HR Directors of leading
8 C M 8 P 8 u L
and a presentation at The Middle East HR Conference and Expo in Dubai L
1 A 1 u

Testimonials
!
scenarios. I first hired Jeremy to work with me on a global change management programme that
required my staff to embrace and adopt a range of new behaviours and competencies in order for
the business to continue delivering accelerated growth.
Jeremy is an expert in leadership, management and staff behaviour issues. He is highly professional,
has a fine eye for detail and is able to engage with the client at a very detailed level to ensure
optimum results. His preparation and delivery are exemplary and once the job is complete he will
ensure on-going contact to help measure overall effectiveness of the programme and that his work

Andy Soloman, Global Business Director, Platts

! l 8 C
of many programmes for managers within the English Language Teaching Division of Cambridge
University Press.

He has always been meticulous in the creation of the content, which he customises as appropriate,
and his style of delivery is very engaging. The feedback we have received from his sessions on
Leading Teams, Coaching and Mentoring, Performance Management and Managing Change have all

Barbara Charlton, Sales Operations Director, Cambridge University Press

P ed with Jeremy and his team for more than 20 years I can recommend Rhema services
to any organisation undertaking significant changes , setting up new sales processes and launching
new products.
Jeremy is great to work with - extremely client centered and full of innovative ideas.I particularly

David Galloway, Global Business Manager, Linde Healthcare

4
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

COPYRIGHT PROTECTION NOTICE

All rights reserved
This e-book is published by Jeremy Francis, June 2012
Text Jeremy Francis, June 2012
This material (including additional handouts and exercises) is protected under the Copyright,
Designs and Patents Act 1988. No part of this material may be reproduced, circulated, or
transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, audio
or video recording, or any other information storage or retrieval system, without permission in
writing from Jeremy Francis 15 Prospect Row, Brompton, Gillingham Kent ME7 5AL.

Any unauthorised use of this material constitutes a criminal offence, in addition to exposing the
user to civil penalties.

Important note about the illustrations
The images in this e-book are the copyright of Jeremy Francis and cannot be
reproduced without his permission.

5
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

I
IIn
nnf
ffl
llu
uue
een
nnc
cci
iin
nng
gg F
FFo
oor
rr G
GGo
ooa
aal
ll A
AAc
cch
hhi
iie
eev
vve
eem
mme
een
nnt
tt

M My y I In nf fl lu ue en nc ce e; ; O Ou ur r S Su uc cc ce es ss s

C Ch ha ap pt te er r O On ne e
G Gr ro ow wi in ng g u up p i is s h ha ar rd d t to o d do o
What is your first memory? Mine is my first day at school. I remember vividly
my mother taking me there. I was neatly turned out in my brand new school
uniform. In my own way I felt all of a sudden very grown up, if not a little
apprehensive.

W A
beat. Children were being dropped off by their parents and with a smile
waving goodbye. Miss Porter, the school head, was at the entrance. She
1
hand and be led by Miss Porter into the unknown. It then hit me that there
was no going back. In a split second my life had changed from being
dependent on one person, my mother, to being dependent on another, Miss
Porter, and I was anxious, very anxious.

Of course as time went on and I got used to the school regime, made friends,
and learnt to trust the teachers my life took on a new norm. Term times and
holidays were that new norm and were to be so for the next fourteen years.
C Ch ha ap pt te er r O On ne e - - G Gr ro ow wi in ng g u up p i is s h ha ar rd d t to o d do o

6
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Why should I start a book on influencing skills with the recollection of my first
day at school? Quite simply because it reminded me that effective influencers
have passed successfully through the first trial of their lives learning to
become dependent. Notice I said dependent and not independent. That
comes later.

Think about it. At some time in our lives we had to walk into the unknown.
We had to learn to transfer our dependency from one person to another. This
is right and healthy and those who have never done so grow up to become
dependent adults. They are children in adult bodies, unable to influence and
only capable of being influenced.

The journey to becoming a successful influencer starts with dependency.

In the dependency stage we realise we need others. We rely on others. We
begin to trust others. We learn to function with others. We begin to
understand ourselves and begin to appreciate the difference between
W W

This is a vital stage of our development as human beings. It can also be a
painful


7
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

In this phase we learn acceptance and rejection. We learn to assert ourselves
to get our way and to respond to others, to be popular, to fit in.

Our conclusions about whom we are, and how much we can effect an
influence over others, is very often formed as we come to terms with how
dependent we need to be on others.

We begin to build a belief system as to how we can best relate to others. Is it
best to compete or accommodate? Should I be more assertive than responsive
or vice versa? Should I largely rely on others or do I need to work towards
being self-sufficient and independent? Will I stay a child or grow up to
adulthood?

l ane, sensible and

begin almost subliminally to form these core beliefs.

We need to go through dependency in order to grow and mature. We
certainly need to have passed through this phase to be an effective influencer.
l


8
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

P P
consider. Give a tick (9
B Be el li ie ef fs s
1. It is safer to rely on the advice of others than on my own judgements.

2. Others are more successful than me so they must be doing something
that I am not.

3. It is best to let others take decisions which impact me or my situation.

4. I am not knowledgeable or experienced enough to make decisions on my
own.

5. I need someone to do things for me otherwise I shall make a mistake
and get myself into trouble.

B Be eh ha av vi io ou ur rs s

6. I find it difficult to make decisions on my own.

7. I feel very insecure outside my comfort zone. I like to be in predictable
and safe situations.

8. I always prefer others to take control and take the lead.

9. l

10. I rely extensively on others in all that I do.


9
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

S Si it tu ua at ti io on ns s

11. l

12. I dislike conflict situations.

13. When working with others I seek their approval.

14. I definitely do not like situations in which I see myself at risk.

15. I like situations where I am popular with others.

K Kn no ow wl le ed dg ge e/ /S Sk ki il ll l

16. I know how to get on well with others; to fit in.

17. I like meeting the needs of others and getting their acceptance.

18. I find it difficult to assert myself.

19. I influence by trying to accommodate others.

20. l l ish to be involved in.


10
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Count up the statements ticked.

Total your score out of 20 =

How dependent are you on others?

0 to 5 = Not at all dependent!
1 to 5 = Slightly dependent
6 to 10 = Appropriately dependent
11 to 15 = Overly dependent
16 to 20 = Far too dependent

Questions to ponder.
Not at all dependent

Do you have difficulties trusting others? If so, why? What has caused you to
be so self-reliant that you possibly avoid any dependence on others?


11
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Slightly dependent

Being dependent on others is not something you enjoy why is that? Have
you had a bad experience of depending on others which has led to a belief that
it is better to do most things yourself? Unbundle that bad experience. Have
you over-reacted to it?

Appropriately dependent

You have a healthy dependence on others knowing when and how to engage
with others and seek their involvement. You are equally comfortable relying
on yourself as you are relying on others? Why is this? How can you hone your
skills?

Overly dependent

You may be overly relying on others as you go through life. Reluctance to act
on your own can stem from a lack of confidence or fear of failure. Are either of
these playing a part in your life? Before involving others be clear on the
decision you would have made without their input. Then, if subsequently, they
give you the same advice you can grow your confidence in decision-making and
involve others less. You need to gradually lessen your dependence on others.


12
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Far too dependent

Some people have grown up with over protective parents or an unhealthy
reliance on others. This has led to feelings of intense insecurity if left on their
own, particularly in new situations requiring interactions with unknown people
and requiring decisions to be made they have never had to make before.
People who are far too dependent on others often need significant coaching or
counselling in order to stand on their feet. This can be a lengthy and painful
process but it is necessary for their personal growth.

Quote

Right from the moment of our birth, we are under the care of our parents,
and then later on in life when we are oppressed by sickness and become old,
we are again dependent on the kindness of others. Since at the beginning
and end of our lives we are so d

Dalai Lama, 1989 Nobel Peace Prize Winner.


13
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Key Questions
x Into which of the five categories do you think you fit? Why is this?
x What do you need to do to stay or become Appropriately Dependent?
Consider your beliefs, attitudes, knowledge and skills.
x Who could help you to be Appropriately Dependent?

Additional Resources
Find out what type of role you like to play in a team environment. This may
give you some valuable insights into your state of dependency. Take a look
at our Team Profile Type Questionnaire
(Team Profile Types Link)

14
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

I
IIn
nnf
ffl
llu
uue
een
nnc
cci
iin
nng
gg F
FFo
oor
rr G
GGo
ooa
aal
ll A
AAc
cch
hhi
iie
eev
vve
eem
mme
een
nnt
tt


C Ch ha ap pt te er r T Tw wo o
I I c ca an n h ha an nd dl le e i it t o or r c ca an n I I? ?

W S 8 1
miniature trees grown by the Japanese. We feel that our growth has been
restricted or denied to us by our experiences and that we should do something
about this.

That may be true of course, but what can we do? The first step is to grow from
a strong sense of dependency into one of independency. We need to own the
challenge, stop blaming others and be accountable for looking after ourselves.

When we become independent we can look after our own basic needs. We
can function on our own. We can take care of ourselves in a group. We have
left home, we feel free to explore, experiment, make mistakes, learn, get hurt,
love, put ourselves at risk, solve our own problems, persevere, and overcome
in short, we have grown up!
C Ch ha ap pt te er r T Tw wo o - - I I c ca an n h ha an nd dl le e i it t o or r c ca an n I I? ?

15
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

At this stage we also develop self-awareness and awareness of others. We
become socially competent. We begin to be guided by own values, our inner
sense of what is right and wrong; what is good for us and what is not.

We gain the respect of others for what we can do, our technical knowledge
and skill our contribution. We also gain the respect of others when it comes
to how we treat them and interact with them. We begin to get a sense of our
value as an individual and as a team player.

We grow in confidence and self-assurance, we feel in control. We know that
we have choices and we can exercise them. We make our own decisions.

We are growing from childhood dependency into adulthood independency.
l L
without hardship, and we need to become fully functioning adults.

Some people manage this better than others. Some find achieving a healthy
balance of dependency and independency difficult. But if we are too much
one or the other our ability to influence effectively will be limited.

So what kind of dependency/independency profile do you have?

Complete the following exercise on yourself.


16
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

D De ep pe en nd de en nc cy y a an nd d I In nd de ep pe en nd de en nc cy y S Su ur rv ve ey y
Instructions
In the following survey you will find a series of paired statements, an Ì'
statement and a `D' statement. You are asked to distribute 10 points between
the 2 statements. You might give all 10 points to the Ì' statement and no
points to the `D' statement. This would indicate that the Ì' statement comes
closest to describing your behaviour or feelings and the `D' statement is not at
all descriptive. You might give equal points (5 points to Ì', 5 points to `D') if
both statements fit your behaviour about equally. For each question Ì' plus `D'
should equal 10.


17
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Paired Statements Allocate 10 points across the two statements

Ì' Statements

`D' Statements

1

I get things done by shaping events,
having a direct impact on people. I like
to make decisions myself.

Points

I get things done by `tuning in' and
responding to the people and
situations around me. I like others to
make decisions.

Points

2

When I am obstructed by an individual
I become more pushy with the
individual. I may make suggestions or
propose solutions to move things
forward. I like to get my way.

Points

When I am obstructed by an individual
I observe, listen and try to understand
the individual's behaviour. I try to
respond to them in determining the
best way forward. I prefer to let them
have their way.

Points

3

When dealing with conflict I am usually
assertive. I want to win.

Points

When dealing with conflict I am usually
accommodating or evasive. I am
happy for others to get what they
want.

Points

4

In most group situations I am one of
the people who initiates ideas . I like
to take the lead.

Points

In most group situations I am one of
the people who contribute to the
development of an open, thoughtful
process. I like to be a team player.

Points

5

I enjoy making decisions and carrying
them through confidently.

Points

I enjoy thinking about problems but
letting others solve them.

Points

6

I am possibly too self confident.

Points

I am possibly too lacking in self-
confidence.

Points

18
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Ì' Statements `D' Statements

7

When people disagree with one of my
ideas or suggestions I tend to try to sell
them my solutions forcefully.

Points

When people disagree with one of my
ideas or suggestions I tend to 'slow
down' and back off.

Points

8

I can be too quick in making decisions
on my own.

Points

I can be too cautious in making
decisions on my own. I need the
inputs of others.

Points

9

I like to be incisive in solving problems
on my own.

Points

I am reflective and thoughtful and
involve others when solving problems.

Points

10

Under pressure my strength lies in my
ability to get 'fired up' and take the
necessary decisions.

Points

Under pressure my strength lies in
knowing my limitations and involving
others.

Points

11

My ability to be a strong competitor
has paid off for me.

Points

My ability to be co-operative and to
build collaborative relationships has
paid off for me.

Points

12

In working with others I spend more
time talking than listening.

Points

In working with others I spend more
time listening than talking.

Points

TOTAL 'I' POINTS

TOTAL 'D' POINTS


19
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

D De ep pe en nd de en nt t/ /I In nd de ep pe en nd de en nt t

Think of your resources as a sphere; a never ending reservoir of feelings and
capabilities.

One half represents Independence (your Ì' resources) and the other half
represents your Dependence (your `D' resources).
I
Resources

Shaping
Influencing
Defending
D
Resources

Taking In
Being shaped
Accommodating

20
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Ì' BEHAVIOUR

Your Ì' resources can be translated into two basic modes of behaviour:
Independent and Loner.
INDEPENDENT
Capable and confident
of making decisions
on own
LONER
Never involves others
in making decisions

21
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

`D' BEHAVIOUR

Your `D' resources can also be translated into two basic modes of behaviour:
Dependent and Demanding.

DEPENDENT
Prefers others to make
decisions
DEMANDING
Demands that others
make decisions for
them

22
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

R Re es so ou ur rc ce es s

Note that all of the behaviour above the horizontal line is behaviour which
demonstrates a concern for acting alone and with others as appropriate.

All behaviours below the horizontal line demonstrates an over use of
Independent or Dependent behaviour.

Behaviours above the horizontal line will tend to have a positive and beneficial
effect on interactions with others. Those below the line will tend to have a
negative effect on interactions with others.
INDEPENDENT
Capable and confident
of making decisions
on own

LONER
Never involves others
in making decisions

DEPENDENT
Prefers others to make
decisions
DEMANDING
Demands that others
make decisions for
them


23
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

A As ss se er rt ti iv ve en ne es ss s/ /R Re es sp po on ns si iv ve en ne es ss s M Mo od de el l

A l nce on Independent and
possibly even Loner behaviours.

A u u
even Demanding behaviours.

A l u
resulting in a comfort with Interdependency behaviours.
INTERDEPENDENT
x Confident in self and others
x Likes to collaborate
x Looks for long term
relationships
x Seeks partnership way of
working
DEPENDENT/independent
x Others focussed
x Trusting others
x Low self-confidence
x Wants others to own
problems/decisions
INDEPENDENT/dependent
x Self focussed
x Trusting in self
x High self confidence
x Wants to own
problems/decisions
DEMANDING
x Excessive need of others
x Overly dependent on others
x Constantly needs
interactions with others
LONER
x No need of others
x Self absorbed
x Withdrawn
x Seldom requires interactions
with others

24
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

S Su um mm ma ar ry y o of f I I a an nd d D D B Be eh ha av vi io ou ur rs s
LONER
Basic stance
l l l l
from being left alone to run my life without the help or support of others. I
much prefer my own company.

Intention
To be able to pursue the selfish realisation of own goals without involvement
of others.

Belief
I am better left alone. People are a pain. Relationships with others take up
too much time. I am totally self-sufficient.

Behaviour characteristics

Withdrawn, quiet, reflective, contemplative, introverted, strong willed, highly
independent, not self aware or others aware, not concerned with social
interaction.


25
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Effect on others
Others feel that they must leave the Loner alone. There is little point in
interaction because it is not sought. Others regard the person as a bit odd,

Typical talk
l .

l .

M .

l .

u .


26
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

INDEPENDENT
Basic stance
I am confident in my ability to handle things ON MY OWN. I am happy making
l
unnecessarily. I want to live my own life. I enjoy my freedom to act.

Intention
To be self-reliant and self sufficient. To get on with my life without too much
involvement from others. To get my own way without others putting obstacles
in my path.

Belief
I can do things on my own. I am successful and confident about what I can
l

Expressive, descriptive, firm but not hostile. Ì' messages clear. Willing to give
information, expresses goals, expectations and may `sell'. Firm tone of voice,
good eye contact, straight upright and relaxed stance, proposing, persuading.


27
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Effect on others
Others feel in touch, informed, enhanced. They can disagree without being
seen as attackers or being judged incompetent. Contributions and influence
often increase.

Typical talk
l .
l .
L .
l .

DEPENDENT
Basic stance
I need others around me to give me advice and support. As a person I am
cautious and risk averse. I have a tendency to perhaps over rely on the inputs
of others when solving problems or making decisions.
Intention
To get the attention of others to my situation and to involve them in meeting
my needs.


28
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Belief
Others are more confident and competent than I am. I need others more than
they need me. I want the approval of others.

Seeking information, help and advice from others, being persistent in getting a
response from others. Unable to make important decisions on their own.

Effect on others
Others can feel pestered. When their advice is not taken it causes them to

with the individual, even resentful of it.

Typical talk
l
l .
l l .
l
S

29
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

DEMANDING
Basic stance
Others should pay more attention to my needs. I try my best to help others
l u l
with me.

Intention
To have my needs met at any price. This may involve emotional blackmail,
contriving situations, exaggerating my circumstances or even manipulating
others to get my own way.

Belief
? Ck l Ck ? l l
People give in in the end.

Expression of what they have done for others, and being let down by others.
Not owning their problems. Being unaccountable. Being unreliable. Unable to
form relationships.


30
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Effect on others
Others initially feel sorry for the person then when they understand the tactics
being used against them they withdraw. This further reinforces the view of the
individual that others have a problem with them and that they are without
friends, which is of course true.

Typical talk
l
l .
.
1 l
l l

Quote

Ly human has four endowments self-awareness, conscience,
independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate
1

Stephen Covey

31
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Key Questions

x What does your score tell you about your Independency and Dependency
needs?
x How could you move towards behaving in a more interdependent way?
x What specific behaviours would this require of you?


Find out how well you build effective relationships when working with others
as part of a group or team. This will provide you with further insights into
your ability to work in an interdependent environment. Have a look at my
Effective Teamwork Questionnaire ( C)

32
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

I
IIn
nnf
ffl
llu
uue
een
nnc
cci
iin
nng
gg F
FFo
oor
rr G
GGo
ooa
aal
ll A
AAc
cch
hhi
iie
eev
vve
eem
mme
een
nnt
tt


C Ch ha ap pt te er r T Th hr re ee e
T Th he e C Ch ha al ll le en ng ge e o of f I In nt te er rd de ep pe en nd de en nc cy y

When we become properly functioning independent people the danger is that
8

Whilst it is important that we are capable of independent action that does not
mean we can act independently all of the time. Quite the reverse. Many if not
most of my decisions involve other people.

I need to take into account their knowledge, thoughts, views and feelings if I
am going to make truly informed decisions. It is a delusion to think that you
1 1 -
reliance and independence can be a dangerous thing. If the whole universe
works in an INTERDEPENDENT way, to be in sync with it we need to as well!
C Ch ha ap pt te er r T Th hr re ee e - - T Th he e C Ch ha al ll le en ng ge e o of f I In nt te er rd de ep pe en nd de en nc cy y

33
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

What do I mean? Everything I do has an impact on a situation and others
involved in it. Very rarely do I work in a complete vacuum with no
consequences for the action I take.

What I believe, say and do does have an impact on others. I might opt out of a
discussion or conversation. That has an impact. I might compete aggressively
in a given pursuit. That has an impact. I might accommodate people in a
situation in order to fit in or be popular. That has an impact. I might
compromise to get a result. That has an impact. I might collaborate to find
creative solutions to problems. That has an impact.

And do you know what? The further I progress in my career, the higher I climb
within my organisation, the longer the relationship I have with a loved one the
more I appreciate that win/win outcomes come with an ability to work in an
interdependent relationship with others.

To work interdependently is to co-exist in an open and honest relationship. It
is to co-create solutions. It is to co-own decisions and outcomes. It is to co-
care as genuine friends. It is to co-operate for the good of all concerned.

C Ch ha ap pt te er r T Th hr re ee e - - T Th he e C Ch ha al ll le en ng ge e o of f I In nt te er rd de ep pe en nd de en nc cy y

34
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

l l t all
l
influence them and be influenced by them.

When we recognise that what we can achieve is all about what we can bring to
others and what they can bring to us it is like an awakening within us.

Working in an interdependent relationship is in fact the first step to being an
effective influencer.

It is the first element in the DNA of being a successful influencer.

You need to understand the whole DNA however.

35
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

I
IIn
nnf
ffl
llu
uue
een
nnc
cci
iin
nng
gg F
FFo
oor
rr G
GGo
ooa
aal
ll A
AAc
cch
hhi
iie
eev
vve
eem
mme
een
nnt
tt

C Ch ha ap pt te er r F Fo ou ur r
T Th he e D DN NA A O Of f I In nf fl lu ue en nc ci in ng g

Have a look at the diagram below.

1 unA
depicted as a six stage process.
C Ch ha ap pt te er r F Fo ou ur r - - T Th he e D DN NA A O Of f I In nf fl lu ue en nc ci in ng g

36
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Connection
At the centre of effective influencing is CONNECTION (Rule of Reciprocity). An
individual cannot influence another individual or a group of individuals if there
is no genuine interdependence which exists between the two parties. If one
party has absolute power over the other, or both parties have no need of each
other, then there is no need to influence. For an effective influencing
l A
parties can exert influence over one another.

CONNECTION is therefore the vital ingredient to all effective influencing and
hence is located not only at the centre of the model but located in such a way

Credibility
CREDIBILITY is often the starting point of an influencing opportunity in that if a
person lacks credibility there will not be the necessary respect from the other
party to even want to engage in an influencing situation. No matter what the
situation or opportunity, if a person lacks credibility the chances of the other
party respecting them are minimal and therefore the likelihood of the two
?
credibility is key to any influencing opportunity getting started.

Context

37
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

CONTEXT (Social Validation) arguably is the next key ingredient to effective
influencing in that a person can have credibility but if they are not in touch
with, or have not bought into, social and cultural norms they will be seen as
being
acting. This lack of similarity can prevent or lessen their use of personal
credibility and hence diminish the opportunity for effective influencing. It is
vital therefore that the person understands the CONTEXT in which they are
operating as fully as possible.

CREDIBILITY and CONTEXT then lead to CONNECTION which as we have said is
the necessary sense of interdependency which needs to exist for two parties to
be willing to influence, or be influenced by, each other.

Comfort
If this desire for Connection exists then COMFORT (Liking) becomes a key issue
as the degree to which people feel comfortable with one another, have got to
know each other, and want to spend time together will have a significant
impact on their desire or need to influence one another in a positive way.

Those who have not built a friendship with those they want to influence may
struggle because of the lack of openness, trust and ongoing relationship
perceived by the other party. Once the issue of COMFORT is satisfied then the
next key ingredient, CONTINUITY, comes into play.


38
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Continuity
CONTINUITY (Commitment and Consistency) builds trust between people
because people show themselves to be consistent in their actions and

people. CONTINUITY in a relationship is therefore a Key Contributor to the
honesty, openness and trust required between two parties for them to
effectively influence one another.

Communication
COMMUNICATION (of scarcity) is the last of the six principles and is another
vitally important ingredient. If both parties in an influencing situation feel the
existence of the previous five ingredients then the notion that an item or
resource provided by each party is scarce further encourages both parties to
want to work together for their mutual benefit. Without this
COMMUNICATION of scarcity either party could walk away and find a solution
to their needs and/or problems from another source. The result would be a
devaluing of the need to be truly dependent on one another, which leads back
on the diagram to CONNECTION and the need for true interdependency.

The cycle then proceeds on to CREDIBILITY again and the involvement of the
other key principles to strengthen the virtuous circle of activity which is
repeated and sustained.


39
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Quote

L I W
other. Staunch independence is an illusion, but heavy dependence
healthy either. The only position of long term strength is interdependence:

Greg Anderson, American Best Selling Author and Founder of the American
Wellness Project.


40
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Key Questions
Influencing Situation Analysis
Think of a situation in which you are involved and in which you are trying to
influence another party or parties.

A DNA C I M

Describe the Situation
What do you need to do to improve your use of the following:

Connection (increasing interdependence)?

Credibility (improving personal credibility)?

Context (being more in touch with social/cultural norms)?

Comfort (improving liking and friendship)?

Continuity (being more consistent; demonstrating more commitment)?

Communication (reinforcing the scarcity of what you have to offer)?

Check out your attitudes when working with others and trying to influence
them. Complete my Effective Relationship Builder (Getting the best out of
others) Questionnaire and discover how you can change the level of success
you have in working with others.
(Link to Effective Relationship Builder)

41
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

I
IIn
nnf
ffl
llu
uue
een
nnc
cci
iin
nng
gg F
FFo
oor
rr G
GGo
ooa
aal
ll A
AAc
cch
hhi
iie
eev
vve
eem
mme
een
nnt
tt


C Ch ha ap pt te er r F Fi iv ve e
C Co on nn ne ec ct ti in ng g W Wi it th h O Ot th he er rs s
W
others.

Of course it is true that in our day to day interactions we are both influencing
and being influenced.

If I go into a shop for a product that they have sold out of I might seek advice
on a similar product and buy that instead. In the most basic of interactions I
have been influenced.

Similarly if someone stops me in the street and asks me for directions, and I
give them advice which they follow, I have influenced them.
C Ch ha ap pt te er r F Fi iv ve e - - C Co on nn ne ec ct ti in ng g W Wi it th h O Ot th he er rs s

42
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

In short, every day of our lives involves us in influencing or being influenced in
some way. However if I am to play a serious and significant influencing role in
the lives of other people then I need to understand that only a long term,
open, trusting relationship built over time on true interdependence will sustain
my ability to influence.

The truth is that when two people or parties really do rely on one another, and
cannot function effectively apart, they are open to being influenced by each
A l
, then the whole foundation of our long term relationship
diminishes and with it the desire for influencing each other for mutual success.

This is called the rule of reciprocity, a key issue in being a successful influencer.

All the time I can bring something to the other party, and vice versa, the desire
to be in a mutually advantageous relationship lives on. Once that relationship
changes from a win/win mindset to a win/lose or lose/win mindset my power
to influence in the longer term reduces as does their power to influence me.

M C S

43
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

So how do you seek out interdependent connections with others? Here are
five tips.

1. Concern

Identify those people or groups of people about whom you have a genuine
concern.

It may be that you strongly believe in what they are doing and want to be part
of it. It may be that you meet someone with challenges or problems and you
want to help them.

It may be that there is a bigger cause you really believe in and in which you
want to get involved.

Whatever the basis of your concern it must be genuine. It must touch a chord
with your personal values. You must believe you can make a difference and
you must want to make a difference.

l
involved in something for your own ends.

44
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Look for opportunities in which you can offer your services for the benefit of
others and which positively impacts your own personal growth.

2. Contribute

Once you have found an opportunity for which you have a genuine concern
offer to make a contribution.

Share clearly what you can offer, how you can offer it, and why you want to
offer it. This may be your talents, your experience, your knowledge, your skills
or your insights. Whatever it is it has to be of benefit for you both and provide
a substantial motivation for yourself and the other party.

In a sense you have to earn the right to influence and this will come about as a
result of your sincere concern for the good of the other party or the cause in
which you want to be involved.

Offer to make a contribution.


45
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

3. Collaborate

Your job is not to have all the answers and simply pass on your advice to
others, no matter how good it might be. It is to get alongside others and to
create collaborative solutions to challenges or problems.

You will need to question, listen and get to the root causes of problems. You
will need to demonstrate a real understanding of the situation, and, if
appropriate, sympathy or empathy for the other party.

C l
re-thinking the problem or challenge and re- l
of old paradigms and seeing things from a completely different perspective.
l

As the two of you embark on this journey together there is a recognition that
you will discover and learn things for your mutual benefit. Your influence is
sought just as their influence is sought.

l
never have done on your own.

46
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

4. Create

Do you want to create a future of your own choosing or be a victim of a future

When connecting with others the intention is to work together to create a
preferred future. A future that both of you are committed to.

This involves agreeing the current situation, getting a vision of a future
preferred situation, identifying the gap and tackling the key issues to bridge
the gap.

When doing this there is no point in continuing to struggle with old ways of
W the point of trying harder to
fail?

n
1
1

When influencing others think of yourself as a creator of joint ideas and
decisions. There is nothing more rewarding then being in a relationship when
you and the other party are learning and growing together.


47
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

5. Confidential

Being confidential is a key part of connecting with others. You must be trusted
and part of that trust comes from not repeating to others outside the
relationship what the other party clearly does not want revealed. Break that
trust and the other party will never open up to you again, you will lose respect
and certainly your influence will be significantly curtailed.

Follow through on promised actions, be open and truthful, operate with a high
level of integrity and above all keep confidences. These are the qualities of a
great leader, and what is a leader if not a great influencer!

Quote
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to
me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the
education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than
what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance,
giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The
remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will
embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the
fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our
attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how
I A A
Charles R. Swindoll (American Writer and Clergyman, b.1934)


48
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Key Questions
x What generally is your reason for connecting with others?

x What is behind your motivation?

x How could you be more others focussed when connecting with others?

When you connect with others you need to understand their personality type
and what makes them tick. That way you can interact with them on their

U ty types.

( l )

49
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

I
IIn
nnf
ffl
llu
uue
een
nnc
cci
iin
nng
gg F
FFo
oor
rr G
GGo
ooa
aal
ll A
AAc
cch
hhi
iie
eev
vve
eem
mme
een
nnt
tt

C Ch ha ap pt te er r S Si ix x
I In nc cr re ed di ib bl ly y C Cr re ed di ib bl le e
To be an effective influencer you have to be credible. The greater your
credibility the more you will be listened to and the more your advice will be
sought and acted upon. Aim to be incredibly credible!

What does this entail? It means to stand out from the crowd. It means to be
perceived as being different, to be SPECIAL.

Use each letter of the word SPECIAL to remind yourself of the key ingredients
required to be personally credible.

elf Confident

resence

xperience

ompany

nsight

ble

earned

S
P
E
C
A
L
I
C Ch ha ap pt te er r S Si ix x - - I In nc cr re ed di ib bl ly y C Cr re ed di ib bl le e

50
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

1. Self Confident
Credible people exude self-confidence. This can often be a quiet self
confidence.

l 1
and strengths. They are self assured because experience has taught them that
they are successful when operating in their area of gifting.

W 1 1
picture success. They have a positive self-image and they perform to this self-
image.

This does not mean that they are arrogant or conceited simply that they are

They also know their limitations and do not get themselves into situations
where they put their credibility at stake. If the
to do something, they will say so.

It takes time to gain the experience required to be genuinely self-confident.

51
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

2. Presence
Have you noticed that people who have a high level of personal credibility have
a presence, an aura that goes with it. You know when they are in a room even

Those with a presence are charismatic, they draw people to them, they draw
admiration from others.

1 do. This
person knows their personal values, they are strong in their beliefs, they are
articulate and their appearance enhances their image as being someone with
gravitas.

This is a person who is unhurried in their dealings with others. They are
measured when it comes to expressing themselves, and calm and sensitive
when engaging others in conversation. They use direct eye contact and know
how to draw others out.

They are respected for their humility which acts as a magnet to others.


52
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

3. Experience
Personal credibility comes with experience. Experience of situations,
experience of people, and quite simply experience of life.

Those with great credibility know what they are talking about because of the
experiences they have had. Not all of these are good and those with great
credibility view their mistakes as learning opportunities rather than obstacles
to their success.

Their lives more often than not are forged on the anvil of bitter experiences.
Their perseverance has seen them through. They can trust their own
judgement and intuition when they do not have all the facts.

Their experiences have grown their knowledge, skills and insights so that they
see problem solving and decision-making as extending and building on the
experiences they have had. They see personal growth and development as a
necessary and never ending journey.

They thrive on new experiences.


53
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

4. Company
They say that you can tell a lot about somebody by the company they keep.
How true that is!

Those with a high level of personal credibility mix with the right people. These
are people they can learn from, who are successful and inspirational. They are
people whom they can turn to in order to increase their knowledge and depth
of understanding. Keeping company with the right people enhances their
feelings of self-worth.
They form relationships with those people to further their own personal
growth and their personal ambitions.

They keep company with thought leaders and the catalysts of change in society
or business, thus they are seldom out of touch with wide ranging issues about
which they are incredibly knowledgeable.

They not only keep the right people company they also keep the right

and their ideas.


54
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

5. Insight

The highly credible have extraordinary insights.

Because of the depth and breadth of their experiences they can bring real
wisdom to situations. Much of what they have experienced in the past they
often witness to in the situations others share with them.

1
thinking or perspectives, draw out the real causes of problems, and to coach
individuals to improve their situation.

Their insights also enable them to be a powerful mentor to others and a source
of extremely valuable advice.

They are generous with their wisdom and insights seeking to do the best they
can to help others.

They are unselfish.

55
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

6. Able
A hat the less
able were lesser human beings it was just that they were more marketABLE. In
other words the more able are simply more in demand. This might be a cruel
aspect of life but it is worth thinking about when it comes to personal
credibility.

Simply put, those with high levels of personal credibility are seen as being
more able and therefore more sought after.

In a relationship of genuine interdependency both parties have abilities which
are counter balancing, off-setting their weaknesses and resulting in a truly
symbiotic way of working. If both are investing time in growing their already
high levels of ability in a sense they are taking care of each other.

Personal credibility has a lot to do with high levels of ability but also the
openness to share this work with others.


56
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

7. Learned

What more can be said about the key elements which contribute to personal
credibility? You probably think that we have covered them all and indeed we
S L

Here are two def L

x Having much knowledge acquired by study.
x Studied or pursued by learned persons.

You see learned people not only pursue seriously study within their chosen
profession but they become pursued by others because they are learned!

The extent to which you or I are seen as learned is not only to do with what we

Those who are regarded as being highly learned have little trouble influencing
others because others come after them!

n


57
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Quote
L

Robertson Davies

Key Questions
x Can you identify someone whom you regard as special?
x What makes them special? Think of the SPECIAL mnemonic.
x What is that they do that you could learn from?

W n
abilities to others?

Complete my Talents Survey and find out how to fully exploit your natural
talents in your dealings with others.

58
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

I
IIn
nnf
ffl
llu
uue
een
nnc
cci
iin
nng
gg F
FFo
oor
rr G
GGo
ooa
aal
ll A
AAc
cch
hhi
iie
eev
vve
eem
mme
een
nnt
tt

C Ch ha ap pt te er r S Se ev ve en n
T Tr ru us st t m me e; ; I I m m n no ot t c cl lu um ms sy y
?
environment or with your own circle of friends. But what about the wider
context when you are connecting with others from a different cultural
background? What then? Are you clumsy or clever?

Social validation, in which the views of others from a different culture, or when
they are working in a different context, decide whether they will be influenced
by you or not is a key element in building your influencing skills.

When interacting with others from a different background the successful
l
words they know and respect the cultural norms, they exhibit behaviours
which fit these norms and they understand the rules of influencing in a context
with which they may be unfamiliar.

The successful influencer is always well briefed on cultural norms.
C Ch ha ap pt te er r S Se ev ve en n - - T Tr ru us st t m me e; ; I I m m n no ot t c cl lu um ms sy y

59
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

What do we mean by culture? Quite simply the way in which people think and
behave based on their core beliefs. These core beliefs could have been handed
down to them over the years and have become a part of what they regard as
an acceptable interaction between themselves and with others.

So before beginning to operate in a different cultural context check out the
following ten questions. Do you know:

1. The history of the person, group or country?
2. What are the cultural norms in society, in business, in politics, in the family
and between members of a specific group?
3. Why do these cultural norms exist? How have they come about?
4. How different are they to yours?
5. What change in beliefs, behaviours, and appearance will you need to pay
attention to in order to fit in and not cause offence?
6. Who can guide me on these issues?
7. What specific language or jargon do I need to use?
8. Who can I practise these on?
9. What situations might I face? How should I handle them?
10. Finally what must I avoid at all costs so as not to give offence?

Answer these ten questions with a tick for each one and you are probably in
good shape to fit in with cultural norms and be respected as someone worth
listening to and knowing.

C Ch ha ap pt te er r S Se ev ve en n - - T Tr ru us st t m me e; ; I I m m n no ot t c cl lu um ms sy y

60
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Quote
N
Mahatma Gandhi

Key Questions
x What are your most important values? Take a look at my Personal Values
Questionnaire
Complete the questionnaire and diagnostic questions which follow using
the instructions.
x In whose company do you feel most at home?
x Think of a situation involving people with a very different set of values in
which you have been involved.
- How did you feel?
- How could you have prepared better for the situation?
- With hindsight how could you have behaved more appropriately?

To find out more about Cross Cultural Diversity take a look at the work of
Fons Trompenaars and his Seven Dimensions of Culture. A must if you are
mixing with people of different nationalities. Use this link.

61
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

I
IIn
nnf
ffl
llu
uue
een
nnc
cci
iin
nng
gg F
FFo
oor
rr G
GGo
ooa
aal
ll A
AAc
cch
hhi
iie
eev
vve
eem
mme
een
nnt
tt

C Ch ha ap pt te er r E Ei ig gh ht t
C Ca an n w we e b be e f fr ri ie en nd ds s? ?
The truth is that we are more likely to influence others if they are genuine
friends. Liking others and being comfortable in a relationship with them leads
to openness, honesty and trust. These are key ingredients to our success as an
influencer.

Think about it. If we are good friends with others we want to spend time
together. We probably share similar values and interests. We may face similar
problems or challenges. As we open up to one another, sharing information
and receiving their feedback and advice, together we grow to enjoy working in
an interdependent relationship.

So our comfort with others plays an important part in being able to be an
effective influencer.

Here is a model that will help you build long term relationships with people
and in the process grow and development your influencing skills.
C Ch ha ap pt te er r E Ei ig gh ht t - - C Ca an n w we e b be e f fr ri ie en nd ds s? ?

62
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

The Pyramid of Relationship Building

T Th he e P Pr ro oc ce es ss s
1. GAIN RAPPORT
Creating rapport means getting on to the same wave length with the other
person.

The essence of gaining rapport involves finding some sort of common ground
or mutual interest. You are endeavouring to find a real meeting of mindsreal
understanding. It's important that each sees the other as an equal and treats
them as one. This can often be achieved in a short space of time even at the
first meeting.
MUTUAL RESPECT
1. Gain rapport
SHARING
NEW POSSIBILITIES
COMMITMENT
DISPLAY
OF LOYALTY
5. Partnership
4. Response
3. Open, two-way communication
2. Build trust

63
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

THE OUTCOME OF BUILDING RAPPORT IS MUTUAL RESPECT.

2. BUILD TRUST
After mutual respect has been gained the relationship is developed further by
building trust. This happens through a process of sharing.

Trust involves gaining the confidence of the other person by achieving
credibility in their eyes. They need to both believe in and feel comfortable
with your ability to deliver.

THE OUTCOME OF TRUST IS THE DESIRE TO SHARE MORE.


64
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

3. OPEN TWO-WAY COMMUNICATION
Once trust has been established, open, two-way communication can take
place.

Information is exchanged, for example by sharing in greater depth similar
experiences and discussing beliefs, in a non-evaluative way. Both parties
remain neutral and non-judgemental, while at the same time giving freely of
themselves and being comfortable with their own and the others' views.

THE OUTCOME OF OPEN COMMUNICATION IS THE CREATION OF
NEW POSSIBILITIES.

4. RESPONSE
As a result of open communication, the next step in the process involves
exercising your judgement in order to respond appropriately to the other
party's situation and needs.


65
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

You are likely to weigh up the action required in the light of your knowledge,
previous experience and personal values. Your response may also be
influenced by internal influences and the personal motivation of the other
party.

THE OUTCOME OF RESPONDING APPROPRIATELY IS TWO WAY
COMMITMENT.

5. PARTNERSHIP
In business terms, this means the customer displaying support for you, either
to someone else in the organisation or to another potential customer.

You will also demonstrate your loyalty to them by enhancing their reputation
and making them look good, at the same time increasing their dependence on
you.

You both share understanding, agreement and commitment to the future.

Both parties want the relationship to be long term and mutually beneficial and
go out of their way to achieve this.


66
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

THE OUTCOME OF WORKING IN PARTNERSHIP IS LOYALTY.

However, effective influencing is not just about a relationship building process,

The key here is to influence others as THEY would like to be influenced, not
how we would like to be influenced. But first you need to understand your
own preferred influencing styles.

Here is a quick survey which will help you to do this.


67
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Identifying You Own Influencing Style Questionnaire
Complete the questionnaire to discover your preferences when it comes to influencing others.

You are asked to consider yourself, reflect on each of the items below and select a score
which best represents how you generally behave in relation to others. Use the following
scoring to allocate points:
0 I never do this.
1 I rarely do this.
2 I sometimes do this.
3 I often do this.
4 I always do this.

1.

Openly share my principles and beliefs with others.

2.

Communicate my goals and objectives clearly to others.

3.

Get alongside people and offer my help and support.

4.

Create a picture of how the future could be which excites others.

5.

Employ the use of rational and logical arguments to persuade
others.

6.

Use a collaborative approach to achieve win/win outcomes.

7.

Persuade others using my authority and status.

8.

Educate people so that they re-evaluate the world around them.

9.

Use a coaching approach to help people to achieve their goals.


68
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

10.

Express my values to others with conviction.

11.

Use clear objectives to channel the efforts of others towards
achievement of a goal.

12.

WIn people's trust by treatIng them as frIends.

13.

Paint a vivid picture of a future which attracts people.

14.

Use data and facts to demonstrate the validity of the argument I
am presenting.

15.

Use a joInt problem solvIng approach to get people's buy-in.

16.

Employ formal authority and status to get things done.

17.

Challenge others to change the way they see things.

18.

Empower others by giving them encouragement and support.

19.

Have a strong sense of what is right and wrong where ethics are
concerned.

20.

Use performance standards and measurable objectives to get
others to deliver.

21.

Assist people as friends to help them find solutions to problems
which bother them.

22.

Create and communicate a vision of the future in vivid language.

23.

Make sure that my proposals are based on proven data and facts.

24.

Work in partnership with people to make decisions.


69
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

25.

Rely on my status and position to get results.

26.

Provide guidance to others to help them improve their
performance.

27.

Act as a catalyst to encourage people to change the way they
think.

28.

Make decisions based on deeply held principles and beliefs.

29.

|anage people's performance closely to ensure they delIver
required results.

30.

Provide practical help and support to others whenever they need
it.

31.

Use images of what the future could be to excIte people's
imagination.

32.

Influence others by presenting logical and sound arguments.

33.

Build consensus with people to deliver agreed results.

34.

Ensure people understand my status when requesting them to do
something.

35.

Easily get people to open their minds to new ideas.

36.

Build confidence in others by coaching them to grow their
knowledge and skills.

Thank you for completing the Influencing Style Questionnaire. Now please collate
the scores you've given to yourself on the next page.

70
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Influencing Style Questionnaire
ANSWER GRID
Take the scores from the questionnaire and enter them on the answer grid below.
Then calculate the totals for each horizontal line and write these in the boxes
provided.

1

10

19

28

Beliefs driven style

2

11

20

29

Objective-setting style

3

12

21

30

Friendship style

4

13

22

31

Visioning style

5

14

23

32

Logical persuasion style

6

15

24

33

Collaborative Style

7

16

25

34

Status style

8

17

26

35

Catalyst style

9

18

27

36

Coaching style

71
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Influencing Style Profile

Plot your scores on the relevant axis of the above chart and join up your scores to create a graphic illustration of your preferred and
less preferred influencing styles.
Logical
Persuasion
Coaching
Beliefs
Driven
Collaborative
Status
Catalyst
Visioning
Friendship
Objective
Setting
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16

72
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

EXPLANATORY NOTES
The feedback shown on the profile gives you an opportunity to think about how you
influence other people. There are nine distinct influencing styles described below.
Consider each, and, if appropriate, discuss them with the person who gave you the
feedback and identify those styles that you should develop further. It is helpful to
discuss your profile with another person who can help you consider how to increase
your skills.

Beliefs driven style
You present deeply-held beliefs about what is good and bad, important and
unimportant. By expressing values you capture interest and goodwill. Your values
touch a chord in others and your conviction is persuasive. You invoke respect and
admiration. Your skills include values clarification, effective presentation and an
ability to delve below the surface.

You attract others by appealing to their moral sense.

Objective setting style
You ensure that aims and objectives are clearly understood by all concerned and
direct efforts towards achievement. You monitor the performance of others, set
success measures and provide coordinated plans. By setting milestones and
avoiding being 'put off the scent', you influence situations. Your style is
'administrative' in the best sense of the word. You use management techniques to
channel effort. Your skills include objective setting, action planning, performance
measurement, controlling and giving feedback.

You drive others by obtaining their commitment to objectives, then keep
performance on track.

73
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Friendship style
You are practically helpful. You identify others' needs and show how these can be
fulfilled. You work at being a useful resource to others, in problem solving. Your
credibility and influence come through being a genuinely useful friend. Your skills
include sensitivity, active listening, being people-centred, action planning and co-
operative counselling.

You attract others by winning confidence and being a valued friend.

Visioning style
You create 'pictures' of a desirable future which offers better ways of doing things
or redressing wrongs. You bring meaning and direction into people's thinking and
give an understanding of what could happen. Your strengths are the capacity to
express vivid images, imagination, opportunism, far-sightedness and practicality.
You are an architect of the future.

You attract others by providing a positive direction.

Logical persuasion style
You are persuasive in argument and debate. Your facts are valid. You collect
data, evaluate information, build a logical case and present sound arguments. You
appeal to reason and intellect. Your position is defensible and reasonable. Your
skills include analysis, concept development, logical thought and formal
presentation.

You attract others by the force of argument and rationality.

74
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Collaborative style
You are influential because you believe in win/win outcomes based on using a
collaborative approach to problem-solving and decision-making. You use creativity
to reframe problems and come up with innovative solutions which are jointly
owned.

You influence others by a consensus building approach to achieve win/win
outcomes.

Status style
You obtain formal authority to give a power-base. You want to obtain powerful
positions and build a legitimate role. You seek to acquire the right to decide how
to allocate resources to further a cause. You concentrate on getting the
foundation properly laid. Your skills include organisational design, planning,
performance control, and administration.

You drive others with legitimate power.

Catalyst style
You expose people to new ideas, experiences, concepts, possibilities or inner
reflections. You act as a teacher, educator, catalyst, counsellor and guide,
enriching people's experience through demonstration and the opening of minds.
You cause people to discover that their current thinking/behaviour is, in some
ways, inadequate. Your skills include diagnosis, designing learning, communication
principles and teaching.

You attract people by causing them to re-evaluate the world around them.

75
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Coaching style
You encourage and empower people to identify needs, evaluate options, formulate
action programmes and take initiatives on their own account. You are supportive
and positive, adding extra energy and giving confidence. You do not seek to guide,
but to enable others to act. Your skills include listening, counselling, giving
positive feedback and advising. You give permission to act, moral support and,
sometimes, practical support.

You drive others by giving them energy.

Action Planning
x What are your most preferred influencing styles (scores of 12 to 16)?

x What are your least preferred styles (scores of 0 to 6)?

x Are you over using your preferred styles?

x Are you under using your least preferred styles?

x When influencing others you will need to influence them using their preferred
influencing style. How easy will this be for you?

x Complete the action planning exercise on the next page.

76
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Influencing Styles
Write down the names of five people you need to influence regularly. What is their
preferred influencing style? How would you influence them using THEIR preferred
style?

NAMES

THEIR PREFERRED
STYLE

HOW I WOULD
INFLUENCE PERSON

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.


77
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Quote
D I ay not follow.
D I
I
Albert Camus

Key Questions
x Using the Pyramid of Relationship Building examine a relationship
you wish to grow with someone.
x At what level is the relationship currently working?
x What do you need to do to move the relationship up to the next
level?

Influencing key stakeholders in a given situation is an extremely
important skill. Only if you do this well will you get their commitment
to your ideas their willing followership.
Take a look at my material on Influencing and Managing Key
Stakeholders

78
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

I
IIn
nnf
ffl
llu
uue
een
nnc
cci
iin
nng
gg F
FFo
oor
rr G
GGo
ooa
aal
ll A
AAc
cch
hhi
iie
eev
vve
eem
mme
een
nnt
tt

C Ch ha ap pt te er r N Ni in ne e
Y Yo ou u c ca an n r re el ly y o on n m me e
Continuing in a relationship, evidenced by commitment and consistency,
s
from the input and contribution of the other.

Effective influencers seek to build relationships with others which are
long term in nature and require effort to sustain them.

Every relationship has its difficult moments. It would be very strange if
there were not disagreements, times of tension, moments of stress, and
periods when it appears to be not worth the effort.

l
important in your influencing role. People who are there for you today
? l
C been expressed the trust has been broken and their
influence nullified.
C Ch ha ap pt te er r N Ni in ne e - - Y Yo ou u c ca an n r re el ly y o on n m me e

79
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Sometimes it is necessary in our own influencing role to confront the
other person. If this is required use the following CONFRONT formula.

C = Communicate your needs and the reasons for them; state which
of your needs are met and unmet; focus on your unmet needs and
describe what is currently happening.

O = Open mind. Keep an open mind. The other person might not be
unreasonable and might see things from your point of view. Do
no

N = Neutralise your view of the other party. Avoid personal bias. Ask
open questions, listen, summarise and try to understand their
situation and where they are coming from.

F = Find out their ideas for resolving the conflict. Build on their ideas.
Add your own ideas, be creative in finding a fresh solution.
Collaborate in viewing the problem from a different angle.

R = Respond
respond (versus react) to their behaviours.

80
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

O = Own the outcome with the other party. Agree to jointly work on
the solution.

N = New way of working. Establish a new norm to work together for a
better relationship and results.

T = Treat the other party with respect. Build on the relationship.
Improve the results.

There might be times when confrontation turns into conflict and you will
need to use an appropriate conflict resolution style.

Follow the instructions below to identify your preferred Conflict
Resolution Style and the consequences of using each style.


81
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

C Co on nf fl li ic ct t R Re es so ol lu ut ti io on n
I In nt tr ro od du uc ct ti io on n
Conflict is a fact of life. Of itself conflict is neutral it is neither good or
bad. However the interpretation people place on conflict and conflict
situations results in a behavioural response of their choosing.

They may think it wise to avoid the conflict altogether to walk away
from it.

They may think of it as threatening a relationship which they value.

They may think of it as a competitive situation in which they want to be
the winner.

They may think that give and take is the best way out of a conflict.

They may think that a conflict is a problem to be solved in a sensible way
for the benefit of both parties.

Whatever their chosen response it will have an impact on the other
party and that impact could be seen as neutral, positive or negative.


82
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

By identifying your preferred conflict resolution style, and identifying the
preferred styles of others, you can manage and influence conflicts to a
conclusion which should result in a win/win for both parties the best
outcome of a conflict.

On the following pages you will find a Conflict Resolution Styles
Questionnaire plus explanatory notes.

Complete the questionnaire on yourself and then analyse your preferred
styles using the explanatory notes which follow.

Then think about how you can improve your approach to conflict
resolution.


83
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

C Co on nf fl li ic ct t R Re es so ol lu ut ti io on n Q Qu ue es st ti io on nn na ai ir re e
The statements listed below can be thought of as descriptions of some
of the different strategies for resolving conflicts.

Read each of the statements carefully. Using the following scale, indicate
how typical each statement is of your thoughts and/or actions in a
conflict situation. Put your score in the box to the left of the statement.

5 = Very typical of the way I think and/or act in a conflict
4 = Frequently typical of the way I think and/or act in a conflict
3 = Sometimes typical of the way I think and/or act in a conflict
2 = Seldom typical of the way I think and/or act in a conflict
1 = Never typical of the way I think and/or act in a conflict

1. I do not like conflict and will avoid it whenever I can.
2. I strive to get my own way in conflict situations.
3. I generally let others get what they want if it means that the
relationship remains positive.
4. Compromise in conflict situations is always a good thing.
5. Achieving a win/win outcome is best in conflict situations.
6. If someone wants to get into an argument with me I would rather
walk away.
7. As long as I get what I want in a conflict then I am happy.
8. I do not resist the demands of others particularly if forcefully put.
9. I resolve conflicts by meeting the other party half-way.

84
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

10. Collaborating in conflicts produces the best results
11. I see conflicts as negative and to be avoided at all costs.
12. I believe that giving in to the demands of others shows weakness.
13. I value positive relationships with others more than getting my own
way.
14. A little bit of give and take goes a long way in resolving conflicts
15. I use creativity to solve seemingly impassable problems in conflict
situations.
16. In a group conflict situation I stay quiet and do not contribute.
17. Conflicts have winners and losers and I make sure that I am the
winner.
18. To stay popular with others I like to give them what they want.
19. I regard conflicts as negotiations where both parties do not get all
that they want.
20. Consulting with others and really understanding their needs gets the
best results in conflict situations
21. I see no point in getting involved in conflict situations.
22. I use personal willpower to get my way in conflicts.
23. In a conflict I use humour and a soft touch to prevent escalation of
the conflict.
24. Accommodating the other person makes for the best outcome in
conflict situations.
25. It is possible for both parties to a conflict to get 100% of what they
want if they are creative enough.
26. If I think that a situation will turn into a conflict I avoid it.

85
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

27. I do not mind not telling the truth in conflicts if it means that I get my
way.
28. l tions.
29. I normally aim to get half of what I want in a conflict situation.
30. I value the result as much as the relationship with the other party in a
conflict situation.
31. l l l
to get involved.
32. I think flexibility in conflict situations is a sign of weakness therefore I
stick to my demands until they are met.
33. I do not put my needs above the needs of others in a conflict
situation.
34. For an easy life why not just compromise.
35. Open and honest communication in a conflict leads to the discovery
of unexpected and positive outcomes.
Results
Complacent Competing Compliant Compromising Collaborating

---------------1

---------------2

---------------3

---------------4

---------------5

---------------6

---------------7

---------------8

---------------9

---------------10

---------------11

---------------12

---------------13

---------------14

---------------15

---------------16

---------------17

---------------18

---------------19

---------------20

---------------21

---------------22

---------------23

---------------24

---------------25

---------------26

---------------27

---------------28

---------------29

---------------30

---------------31

---------------32

---------------33

---------------34

---------------35

--------------Total

---------------Total

---------------Total

---------------Total

---------------Total

86
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

The higher the score for each conflict strategy, the more frequently you
tend to use the strategy. The lower the total score for each conflict
strategy, the less frequently you tend to use the strategy.

1. Complacents
They prefer to avoid conflicts or they cannot be bothered to get into
conflicts. They give up their personal goals and relationships. They stay
away from the issues over which the conflict is taking place and from the
persons they are in conflict with. Complacents believe it is hopeless to
get involved in conflicts. They do not feel the need to act. They believe it
is easier to withdraw from conflict than to face it. They find conflicts
simply not worth the effort to address.

2. Competers
They try to overpower the other party by forcing them to accept their
solution to the conflict. Their goals are highly important to them, and
relationships are of minor importance. They seek to achieve their goals
at all costs. They are not concerned with the needs of others. They do
not care if others like or accept them. They assume that conflicts are
settled by one person winning and one person losing. They want to be
the winner. Winning gives them a sense of pride and achievement.
Losing gives them a sense of weakness, inadequacy, and failure. They try
to win by attacking, overpowering, overwhelming, and intimidating
others.


87
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

3. Compliants
To them the relationship is of great importance, while their own goals
are of little importance. They want to be accepted and liked by others.
They think that conflict should be avoided in favour of harmony and that
people should discuss conflicts without damaging relationships. They are
afraid that if the conflict continues, someone will get hurt, and that
would ruin the relationship. They give up their goals to preserve the
relationship.

4. Compromisers
They are moderately concerned with their goals and their relationships
with others. They seek a compromise; they give up part of their goals
and persuade the other person in a conflict to give up part of their goals.
They seek a conflict solution in which both sides gain something the
middle ground between two extreme positions. They are willing to
sacrifice part of their goals and relationships in order to find agreement
for the common good.

5. Collaborators
They highly value their own goals and relationships. They view conflicts
as problems to be solved and seek a solution that achieves both their
goals and the goals of the other person. They see conflicts as a means of
improving relationships by reducing tension between two persons. They
try to begin the discussion that identifies the conflict as a problem. By
seeking solutions that satisfy both themselves and the other person,
they maintain the relationship. They are not satisfied until the tensions
and negative feelings have been fully resolved.

The collaborative style has been shown to be strongly associated with
constructive resolution of conflicts, whereas the forcing approach is
associated with ineffective conflict management.

88
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

T Th he e F Fi iv ve e D Di if ff fe er re en nt t S St ty yl le es s
Below you will see a summary overview of the five styles. Each style is
the result of two concerns:
- A concern for Results.
- A concern for Relationships.

Concern for
Results
COMPETERS COLLABORATORS
COMPLACENTS COMPLIANTS
COMPROMISERS
Concern for
Relationships
High
Low
Low
High

89
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Each style creates a different outcome.
- C l
win/you lose).
- Compliants may retain the relationship but fail to get what they
want (I lose, you win).
- Compromisers settle for second best (I get half of what I want and
so do you).
- Complacents do not get involved and the result is lose/lose (I lose,
you lose).
- Collaborators aim for win/win outcomes in which they use
creativity to ensure that both parties get all that they want.


90
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

R Re es sp po on nd di in ng g t to o t th he e D Di if ff fe er re en nt t S St ty yl le es s
To manage and influence the five different styles follow the guidelines
below.

Competers
x Be assertive (lower your tone of voice, speak more slowly, engage
with direct eye contact).
x State your nee u l
- l
- W l
- l

x Repeat your needs
- l l

x Summarise/paraphrase for understanding:
- S

x Question to stay in control and to build understanding.
x Walk away from the conflict if the person is being unreasonable.


91
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Compromisers
x 8
- l
- 1 l
- 8

x Explore a variety of solutions which will result in both parties getting
all their needs met.
x Be creative; reframe the problem.
x u
x Take your time. Do not be rushed into quick fix solutions.
x Move the other person into a more collaborative mind set:
- L

Compliants
x Be aware that they will not be assertive or challenge you so invite
them to do so.
x Reassure them that the relationship will not suffer in the longer term.
x S
- C
- W ?
- ? W
- P l ?
- L

x Speak calmly; do not be too assertive.
x Use questions to draw the person out.
x Smile, nod and build agreement as you go along; value the person
and their views.


92
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Complacents
x Challenge them to engage in the conflict.
x Question them for their reason for not doing so.
x Build them up; reinforce the value of their contribution.
x Reassure them that it is a worthwhile situation for them to get
involved in.
x Spell out benefits of their involvement.
x Request them to get involved. Use silence to reinforce the power of
your request.

Collaborators
x Refer to the conflict as a problem to solve.
x u
-
- P
- P ?

x Use a variety of creative problem solving techniques.
x Encourage the other person when progress is being made on solving
the problem.
x Use positive, open body language.
x Be open to being challenged and to new ideas.
x W


93
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

R Re ef fl le ec ct ti iv ve e E Ex xe er rc ci is se e
List down the names of people with whom you find it difficult to resolve
conflicts. What is their preferred style? What can you do to manage
them more effectively.

Name Their Conflict Resolution Style Actions I need to take


94
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

B Be e A A P Pe er rs so on n O Of f I In nf fl lu ue en nc ce e

A person of Influence has I integrity with People
A person of Influence N nurtures other People
A person of Influence has F faith in other People
A person of Influence L listens to People
A person of Influence U understands People
A person of Influence E empowers People
A person of Influence N navigates for other People
A person of Influence C connects with People
A person of Influence E envisions People
A person of Influence R reproduces Influencers
Quote
1
calm that is not easily disturbed. It is just these intense conflicts and their
conflagration which are needed to produce valuable and lasting resu

Carl Gustar Jung


95
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Key Questions
x Think of a conflict situation that you are currently trying to handle
effectively.
x What conflict resolution style do you need to adopt?
x What behaviours of your would evidence this style?
x How could you use the CONFRONT mnemonic to confront the
person/people?

Many conflicts often occur in the setting of a negotiation. For tips on how to
Introduction to Negotiations.
It will remind you of the basics.

96
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

I
IIn
nnf
ffl
llu
uue
een
nnc
cci
iin
nng
gg F
FFo
oor
rr G
GGo
ooa
aal
ll A
AAc
cch
hhi
iie
eev
vve
eem
mme
een
nnt
tt

C Ch ha ap pt te er r T Te en n
I I m m s sp pe ec ci ia al l. . Y Yo ou u n ne ee ed d m me e. .
It is not surprising that this last chapter is all about communication. But
communication of a certain kind.

You see people only stay in interdependent relationships if they truly see the need for
one another. Part of your influencing ability is to reinforce what it is that you bring to
the relationship that is scarce, and special.

How can you do this without seeming to be arrogant and self-promoting? The key is
the occasional, but regular, celebration of success. Celebrating success achieved by
you and the other person not only re-energises the relationship, it provides a
platform for planning future successes and re-connecting with the individual. You will
re-call that CONNECTION is the starting point of effective influencing.

This in turn leads to exercising your personal CREDIBILITY and successfully working in
different cultural CONTEXTS. The DNA loop then continues on to operating with the
COMFORT of friendship and then building long term CONTINUITY in the relationship.

1 unA

Now use this questionnaire to establish in which area of the DNA Influencing Cycle
you need to focus on for personal improvement.
C Ch ha ap pt te er r T Te en n - - I I m m s sp pe ec ci ia al l. . Y Yo ou u n ne ee ed d m me e

97
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

T Th he e D DN NA A O Of f I In nf fl lu ue en nc ci in ng g Q Qu ue es st ti io on nn na ai ir re e

Using the rating scale below score each statement in the box to the left of each
statement. Then follow the scoring instructions at the end of the questionnaire.

Rating Scale
0 =No skill at this. 1 = Very little skill at this.
2 = Quite skilled at this. 3 = Very skilled at this.

Connection

1. I seek out opportunities in which I can influence others.

2. I work effectively in situations which require an interdependent way of
behaving.

3. I can combine dependent and independent ways of working into an
interdependent style of working.

4. I understand the sources of power that people bring to a relationship.

5. I know how to create


98
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Credibility

6. I understand what contributes to personal credibility.

7. I know what I need to do to increase my personal credibility.

8. I know how to project my personal credibility.

9. I demonstrate confidence in my own ability.

10. I communicate convincingly.

Context

11. I am aware of the key issues surrounding cultural differences.

12. I know how to prepare for working with others in a different cultural
context.

13. I can quickly discern the effect I am having on others from different cultures.

14. I am able to adapt my communication style and behaviours to fit in with
other cultural norms.

15. I can tune in easily to what is going on around me when I am in new
situations.


99
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Comfort

16. I know how to strike up friendships.

17. I am able to build effective long term relationships with others.

18. I know how to influence people in a way they like to be influenced.

19. I can easily establish rapport with others.

20. I am comfortable mixing with groups of very different people. I get on with
most people.

Continuity

21. I behave in a consistent way towards others.

22. I demonstrate a long term commitment to my friends.

23. I can confront others without them taking offence.

24. I can vary my conflict resolution style to achieve the outcome I want in my
dealings with others.

25. I can communicate to people what I can bring to the relationship that will
benefit them.


100
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Communication

26. I know how to build interdependency into a relationship.

27. In my relationships with others I remind people of the value of the
relationship to us both.

28. I understand how to build a partnership way of working with others.

29. I am good at seeking the advice of others to build the relationship.

30. I deliberately communicate valuable information to others to show that I am
thinking of them.
Count up the scores for each section of the questionnaire and enter them below.

Statements 1 to 5 = Connection

Statements 6 to 10 = Credibility

Statements 11 to 15 = Context

Statements 16 to 20 = Comfort

Statements 21 to 25 = Continuity

Statements 26 to 30 = Communication

Total Score =


101
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Here is a quick guide to your score.

0-15 - You have a long way to go!
16-30 - You need to make substantial improvements in your influencing
skills.
31-45 - You are on your way to being quite a good influencer, however you
have some way to go.
46-60 - You are quite a good influencer with some improvement needs.
61-75 - You are already a good influencer. You have some development
needs.
76 90- You are already a great influencer. Perhaps a little fine tuning is
required.
Key Questions
x What is your score on the DNA Influencing Cycle?
x Where were you strong?
x Where were you weak?
x What can you do to develop your skills in using this cycle?

Quote
1
Anthony JD Angles


102
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Reflection Exercise
Influencing Situation Analysis
Think of a situation in which you are involved and in which you are trying to
influence another party or parties.

A DNA C I Ml.

Describe the Situation
What do you need to do to improve your use of the following:

Connection (increasing interdependence)?

Credibility (improving personal credibility)?

Context (being more in touch with social/cultural norms)?

Comfort (improving liking and friendship)?

Continuity (being more consistent; demonstrating more commitment)?

Communication (reinforcing the scarcity of what you have to offer)?


103
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Now is the time to act; to actively take control of your capability and capacity
to influence others. Using the following template write a letter summarising
the difference you will make in the lives of others using your influencing
skills.

A Reply to a Letter from my Best Friend
Reply to this imaginary letter.

Dear (Your Name)

l W ?
the person that I have always admired the most in my life and so I am keen to learn what has
happened to you? Tell me about how those dreams of yours, which we used to talk about all the time.
How have they worked out for you.?

x What have you achieved over the last 10 years?
x How have you influenced events in your life?
x W
x How are you seeking to influence your future?
x How do others see you?
x Do they respect your influence over their lives?
x How do you feel about your abilities to influence others for the good?
x How are you influencing others for the better?
x How are you growing your positive influence over others?
x What will be your focus going forward?

l

Affectionately yours,
Your old friend
Mister Time

104
2011 Jeremy Francis
All Rights Reserved

Remember to go back to the end of each chapter for advice and resources on how to
improve your knowledge and skills in the topic area of the chapter.

Remember also:

Make sure that your influence over others always results in a benefit to you both.
That way your influence will grow and so will your value as a human being.

I wish you the best of luck as you continue your journey to becoming an effective
influencer.

My influence - Our success

Influencing For Goal Achievement - April 2011

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

Influencing For Goal Achievement - April 2011

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

I

You might also like