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Nuggets of Wisdom
Holidays are stressful
How much are you looking forward to the Holiday season this year? Lets be honest, holidays are stressful. Sometimes making it through the holiday season can
Gratitude is a quality that requires practice
Gratitude Corner
the center of most challenges during the holidays is relationships. As many families spend more time together, misunderstandings and conflicts can often resurface. This can stir up old resentments, sibling rivalries, and competitions. The loss of a loved one. Facing the holiday without a loved one can leave you feeling lonely or sad. Seeing others enjoying themselves may leave you feeling worse and not wanting to participate in many of the old traditions. Financial stressors. With many facing unemployment or a reduc-
tion in their wages, knowing how to spend the money you do have can create dilemmas. High expectations. Competition and comparisons can be the way some respond to holidays. Wanting to create the perfect holiday meal, finding the perfect gift, knowing the perfect thing to say, etc. can be as elusive as winning the lottery. Here are 10 keys to unlocking holiday stress. (Continued page 2a)
feel like an episode of Survivor. Families, parties, diets, lack of money, lack of time and the high expectations of finding that perfect gift or hosting that perfect gathering can leave you feeling overwhelmed and wishing they were over.or at least voted off the island. Why are the Holidays so stressful? Spending time with family. At
Start by asking yourself the following question from Sleeping with Bread, holding what gives you life by Dennis Linn, Shelia Fabricant Linn and Matthew Linn. What moment today am I most grateful for? Another way to ask this question is: What moment today did I feel the most connected to myself; others; to God, the Universe; or to the world in general? Take a few moments to consider your answer. As you do, breathe deeply and notice. What are you feeling; thinking? Now take a few moments to express your gratitude in whatever way best fits for you. Offer a silent prayer, share your gratitude with a close friend or loved one, or even record it in a journal. Just keep practicing.
Why do resolutions fail so often? Although they are often well in-
Nuggets of Wisdom
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continued pg 1 handwritten letter to express how you feel. Avoid making purchases that take months/ years to pay off. They often prolong and create more stress in the months to come as you work to pay them off. Plan ahead. Develop a calendar for the holiday to include traditions, events, shopping, baking, visiting friends, etc. Be intentional with your time, be sure to include the traditions and activities that are important to you. Make sure those are at the top of the list. 10. Reevaluate making resolutions. Most resolutions are broken within a few minutes or days after having made them. Many resolutions are too lofty and/or require more time and effort than you have. If you make a resolution, focus on one that help you to feel more valuable and provides brief moments of happiness. Choose goals that are small and doable. Remember: Set yourself up to succeed.
Make time to do the things that are the most meaningful to you.
Be intentional with your time, be sure to include the traditions and activities that are important to you. Make sure they are at the top of the list.
too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired? These are all cues to remind us to slow down and take care of ourselves before going out. Doing so can give you a reserve to draw from. 3. Leave the score cards at home. When competition and comparisons begin, statements can quickly go from a comment to hard feelings to resentments that can last for years. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they dont live up to your expectations. Set aside old grievances for more appropriate times. 4. Keep perspective, be grateful. Expressing gratitude for effort, and attendance can help to get through difficult spots. It can help you feel better too. Volunteering, getting involved and helping others can be a great way to lift your spirits and make new acquaintances. Be understanding with others when they get upset or dis-
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What choices, situations or events are setting you up for more stress? Consider what you can do to change
Detached curiosity
Ever had someone tell you to just relax when you were having a moment? If you are like me, I dont easily embrace that suggestion. Usually I am caught up in the moment of feeling something passionately and the last thing I want to hear is relax. For most of us, the opportunity to learn from these situations generally occurs after they have already happened. When your response is disproportionate to the situation, notice what is happening, without judging yourself. Engage in a detached curiosity about the situation. This involves withholding any judgments, criticism, and expectations about yourself to just pay attention to what is going on inside and outside of you. Ask yourself, What just happened? What was going on just before I started to feel that way? What was I just thinking about? Does this situation remind me of something else? Check in with yourself physically. Do I feel tired or sick? What about emotionally? Are there other things that have been bothering me lately? Are there situations I am avoiding or having difficulty knowing what to do? Taking time to tweeze out these answers may help you make sense of your reactions. Often times having an over reaction to something is a clue that it is a combination of something that started in the here and now but has its roots in something else. Beginning to pay attention to what those other things are may help you to learn to relax more now.
Gahanna who specializes in helping individuals reconnect with their inner wisdom. As a trauma therapist, she helps individuals move beyond the painful experiences in their lives to reconnect with themselves and others. As infants we dont have to be taught how to feel or know what we want, we are born knowing it. Over time our interactions with others along with lifes challenges can create disconnections from ourselves, making it more difficult to know what we want, need or even feel. Counseling can assists individuals in rediscovering that inner wisdom in knowing what we already knew when we first got here.
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Website: JeanLeslieCounseling.com
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If you want a simpler life, you must learn to say no. In Simplify Your Life: 100 Ways to Slow Down and Enjoy the Things That Really Matter, author Elaine St. James says that people get into
Say yes to the things that are most important to you make it easier to say no to the things that are not.
extra meetings, dinner engagements, or to take on new responsibilities. Many of us feel obligated to always be participating at a high level. We are proud of our high productivity and involvement, but it comes at a high price: a complicated life that leads to less and less time for you. St. James suggests one way to simplify your life is to actually schedule time for yourself on your calendar at the beginning of
every month. So when you are invited to participate in something on a day or time you have scheduled for yourself, turn down the request because you already have a commitment. Setting yourself as a priority can actually help you simplify your life.
trouble because they agree to do things they really dont have the time to do. This leads to a constant state of being overcommitted and frustration. Our culture makes it difficult for us to say no to requests to attend