Talking Turtles hate talking, but little Alkie Silversheen was one turtle in a million.

Since the day she was born, Alkie loved to talk. She'd made all sorts of sounds as a baby, then got frustrated and began to experiment by stringing sounds together. Thus, the little turtle started talking.Let it be known she was 5 months old. A regular talker! Then her poor parents, Mr. Smatterloo Silversheen and Mrs. Smatterlee Silversheen began putting her in a daycare, because it was simply too much. Alkie had begun to ask for things, and she whined constantly. "Mommy, water." "Darling, you LIVE in water." "Mommy, I'm cold. Wanna blankie." "Alkie, it won't fit over your shell. You're a growing turtle." MOMMY! WANNA BLANKIE!" So Smatterloo put her into Doing Things For Your Growing, Whining Turtle Daycare. Well, the name seemed promising. 5 days later, the daycare sent a scribbled apology letter on 'your baby is too loud, sir and madame. we are moving away. she is disrupting the children. turtles are suing.' That was the end of daycare. So, Alkie grew up, her parents perhaps a little farther away than they ought to be, due to her earlier days. Whenever Alkie looked in the family albums, she felt a sad pang, for her mother was always holding her out, with her nose pinched, like she was piece of garbage. Her father was no better. Niether one knew how to change a diaper, or shut up the baby, or even what a shell pacifier was. Alkie’s parents were ignorant turtles who did not know they controlled a life. Alkie's favourite author was Shel Silversheen, and she was positive they were related. She loved reading his humorous poems out loud, day in, day out. Loudly. The Silversheen family moved places constantly, for the turtles next door complained about the noise level a lot. The unlucky family never stayed in one place for long, just long enough for one year of schooling for Alkie, then they were off again. As a result, the child learned far more then her parents knew she did. Also, she discovered talking WASN'T bad, so long as it was good and controlled. Speaking up for yourself was important. So Alkie got introduced to debating, taking a class during the summer. She loved it! 1 year later, Alkie was enrolled in the debating club, the one that did all the debating competitions in Fishgunny Town. Hurriedly, she pulled her father to one side after she won yet another riverwide competition and murmured to a surprised Smatterloo, "Daddy (she had picked up a British accent, listening and jokingly imitating all the British animals,) I sure love debating. This place has the best debating club ever! Daddy, you know I can hold my tongue now, as I'm old enough to know how, so please please please please please can we STAY here, in Fishgunny? PLEASE?" Along with her little persuasion chat, Alkie pulled the puppy dog look on her father. Another gift Alkie had been blessed with, along with the gift of Gab, was the gift of Puppy Dog Eyes. So her father agreed.

His house was a quaint old cottage with a garden of carrots in the front. . smiling at her discovery last night that her voice was better than her writing. especially when they said they were going to the Caribbean. How much worse could it get. handwritten letters it said: (duct tape is silver) The sign suddenly made the pretty yard look like snail slime. And that was Sir Carrot-Top. Slowly." "Which one? There's only Ol' Carrots. Her mother smiled a sickly sweet smile.(At least in his eyes. "the other kind fellow. she walked to his house. chatty lump who did nothing but talk and talk all day long. that hated talking more than either of Alkie’s parents. they answered it awkwardly anyway. who were by now very distant from her. bloody war. Spottings will take the other week. a sign that read in old fancy letters: SILENCE IS GOLDEN And underneath." "Well. Daddy?" Although it was a rhetorical question. brightening up. which was her dream vacation place. "Yes. everything was covered in a thin layer of frost. you know that kind fellow next door?" "Mrs. Mum? How much. A stupid. If there was one animal. the cranky rabbit next door. Then there came the fateful date Alkie was to spend the first day with The Poop.Spottings was like a grandmother to her. cranky. When she SAID the apology that swirled in her head. the fake kind. too!) Sir Carrot-Top despised Alkie. I know him. “Just to get away from the cold. She'd grown very close to him. he'd known she was a talker.'Silence is Golden. Ever since she set foot on her territory next door. "he's offered to take care of you for 1 week-" "NO!" "-and Mrs.” they claimed. every single note scorned him. not an insult anywhere. Mrs. Alkie was heartbroken. Mrs. no matter how hard she tried. That was Sir Carrot-Top said. A spray of pretty ivy was curled around a strange sign. and bundles of flowers popping up everywhere.) One awful day. as if her true feelings were fighting to come out onto the paper. and as for Alkie? She spent those 3 days trying to write the perfect apology note to Mr. ONE ANIMAL.(A bloody. and backed away from her. "Well. You can imagine what sort of a silent celebration she was having! There was just one thing." glared her mother. it came out perfect. but the opposite on paper. Spottings was a kind ladybug who loved her even more than her parents. and what he said was law. veteran rabbit from the Acorn War." "ALKIE!" her parents screamed in unison. "No. it was an old. and a nutty one. a huge sign." Alkie’s parents packed and left within 3 days.Spottings?" she asked. dearest." her mother squirmed. Their daughter didn’t buy it.' Alas. in small. and everyone knows he's a poop. "Sigh. One thing that spilled some oil on the perfect path of Alkie Silversheen.Alkie's parents revealed they were going on a cruise "-yes!" -without her. She baked her apple tarts and chocolate cookies and gardened flowers she liked.Since it was nearing winter. darling.

you blabbermouth. So she knocked. Alkie was woken up by her shell being roughly shaken. he couldn't be THAT stingy over a couple of words. she had to follow her parent's wishes. arms and legs into her silvery shell. A hollow noise echoed through the quiet house. leave' She would have loved to leave as fast as a turtle can leave. and although she didn't really feel an attachment to them. and a bell ringing inside. leaned back quickly.. Pity your dim and shallow parents aren’t here to look after y-" Suddenly. The hunched veteran passed her a note. A few minutes later. You see. a quiet guy. Not even The Poop could. Mr. sir. hello there. who seemed to know that she reached that point and was smiling. straining to hear something. "I. eh?" Alkie chuckled and then frowned. the small painted door opened and the slavering head of a bulldog appeared. Nobody answered. someone muttered something to someone. or better yet. She supposed that if he had spent the majority of his life passing notes (that ought to get him in trouble at school. I’d rather have them gone. with his freshly scrubbed nose and uneven claws. She drew a thick blanket over herself and fell asleep. but sir? It isn’t a pity. and he'd kick her out and her reputation as a great debater would be scarred. she poked her head out and blurted nervously.) Another groan. "So. On it said the words 'knock quietly. "Oh." replied Alkie sorrowfully. Everyone loves talking!" This cheered her up. as if the rabbit was another poor babysitter with no idea what he was in for. but silvershelled ones can furnish it simply by thinking. and Alkie. he broke off in a fit of wheezing. Alkie screeched and jumped back in surprise. She smiled and settled into the leather chair in her shell library. she talked in her sleep.rolled her wet flipper up and knocked loudly. who had her ear to the door. that meant. She opened it slowly and in neat handwriting there was written: ‘Please give Sir Asty Carrot-Top.I mean. . Heavy footfalls were heard."Oh. Suddenly. Quickly. his eyes closed and nodding off. and a groan sounded. They do. That meant. Inside. expecting The Poop. surveying her in disgust and satisfaction simultaneously. "I take it. a twinkle of a smile. Then there was a sigh. silvershelled turtles can furnish the insides of their shells. "am not a blabbermouth. Of course. Her ear rang like the bell had moments before. Hello and how do you do and how do you do and how do you do again!" Sneering at her was an old. he rasped. either. Minutes passed. who has sculptured this perfect note-’ Alkie stared at the rabbit.) he should be able to fold complicatedly and quickly simultaneously. Quietly. Finally. and they’re not the kindest. she couldn't say her apology speech! She'd have to write it. lifted the corners of Carrot-Top’s mouth. oblivious to the fact that the drooling bulldog had picked her shell up and was carrying it gently inside. Also. He was beginning to like this uppity turtle. which was folded quickly and intricately. nasty and wrinkled face of Sir Carrot-Top. I realize my parents are dim and shallow. My very own parents hate me. So can other turtles. she lay on the ground and drew her head. Sir Carrot-Top. albeit a mean one. there was the sound of feet thumping past the door. They hate me. Poo. (Hence the name Silvershell.. and shut up.” For the first time since Alkie had moved into Fishgunny. and she boldly waddled to the little painted door. but Alkie was a brave one. "that I am supposed to take care of you.

which it so often was. drawing her turtle flippers away.” In the beautiful cursive writing of Sir Asty Carrot-Top. She was going a little too far. it read: . Silence is golden.” she tentatively began. Asty nodded and curled up. if you were abducted by aliens. is NOT. I’ll open it. Sir. a favorite pastime of his. Substantially nutty.”I don’t think-” The rabbit cut her off and quoted. “Hate noise! HATE IT!” Here. wondering how to debate best. The veteran began his story in a sorrowful and raspy voice: I hate talking Or noise in general. eh? Noisy ain’t the word for it. eh?” Alkie nodded impatiently. That’s what Mr. and so is the din of the cannons and guns and the such. if the milk was spoiled. too. you couldn’t pass notes! Goodness.Upid was like. and blurted. Alkie rambled on: Sir. Alkie thought hard about his. my poor ears were reduced to THIS!” He shook his head around like a hyena. She spun tales like her friend Webbling spun hammocks. but THE WAR IS OVER!” Little Alkie set the cup of cocoa down on the china side table. ‘-the honour of your sitting down and listening to his sad tale of why Silence is Golden and Talking. whom Alkie discovered was the butler/bodyguard. and he seemed to be out of breath. leaving you with the spoiled milk. too. In the quietist moments. beginning to see the logic.”Noisy don’t even begin to tell you how durned loud it was. (and here Alkie noted he signed his name merrily and with much flourish. with much note-passing between the rabbit and the bulldog.” Alkie grinned. As a result. Sincerely. not write notes. there was always a darned din goin’ on. he lapsed into silence. or Noise in general.) Sir Asty Carrot-Top.” Alkie noticed that Sir Asty started cutting down words. “Sir. and noise is silver. right? Bloody war.” I do not disagree entirely. it’s gotta be noisy. Alkie scowled and refused to open the note. So that explains my sign. He continued. his threadbare ears drooping pathetically. you know I was fighting for this town here. If you wrote notes. Fishgunny and other places in our country in the Acorn War. he’d just roll his eyes and slouch away. “What’s your mum’s cell phone number. Then he handed her a note. Alkie rolled on: If you had an urgent meeting with the President of the United Grounds of Acornia.” said she in a controlled voice. plucked the phone out of its cradle and asked her sarcastically. Because it’s so danged bloody. “-then you shouldn’t TALK. “Sir Asty Carrot-Top. sitting across from her. You may hear it on TV. okay. but warming to the old rabbit. “Okay. Alkie and the rabbit settled into the cosy lounge and sipped hot cocoa as the first flakes of snow fell outside. And so. thinking the quote appropriate for the occasion. “Anyhow. but-” Here she paused. and the secretary was skeptical. She explained that. looking around the TV-deprived room. security would have you out in seconds. Very bloody. which they always were. again?” She quickly picked the note up off the floor where she dropped it. “the awful Acorn War is over. from Alice in Wonderland. you had to argue and TALK with the milkman. Sir Asty frowned. Asty. Then she started to explain why arguing was useful. and they thought you were a-” The rabbit quieted her by holding up a paw. I mean no disrespect or harm by speaking loudly.

would you ever want to be my daughter?” Alkie stared at him in shock. “Sir. picked up the phone. I’m right beside ya for a week.” Astipher whimpered.Okay. who was still giggling at the thought of Sir Astipher Carrot-Top singing. She handed a fruity gum pack to Astipher. Alkie rolled her eyes affectionately and let the last three gum packs fall beside her in the vacant seat.” Astipher told Alkie. I will take voice lessons.. Astipher looked at her hopefully. “Laver is the best. for the first time in years. I am so unutterably sorry.. remember.” he sang. where Laver had gone to call -and bumped right into Laver. arms. Alkie had gotten to know the bulldog much better. Asty jumped off his armchair and rushed into the living room. but picked up the phone and the phone book. Signed. who was hovering around Astipher worriedly. “Stop who.” Laver smiled and winked at Alkie. Laver was undeterred. twinkling laugh. Asty thought that perhaps he’d made a mistake. Now. how annoying talking could be! Besides her in voice lessons sat an irritating talker who never kept his mouth shut from the moment he walked through the door. “Silly rabbit!” she exclaimed. Alkie bounced on the seat of the car besides Astipher. She found them and returned to the car. Laver.”Is it amusing. then left the room flipping through the phone book as if it was a beginner’s Easy Reader... I agree. “Alkie. The BEST voice lessons in Fishgunny. One week later. and asked him to sign him up for the best voice lessons in Fishgunny. “How can I possibly sing?” Alkie walked over to him and bent down. I’ll sign up too. Laver looked at him funny. who was coming out into the lounge. who’d found a passion for fruity gum.” Astipher sniffled. sir?” “Those people! Those people (pant) who signed me (pant) up for (pant) singing. who was trilling Do Re Mi. She joined in happily.. Alkie laughing at the words voice lessons. Alkie realized that oh. Alkie opened and closed her mouth like a fish. . The veteran furrowed his brow. and legs into her shell for a moment.. Laver looking at him funny. Sir Astipher Carrot-Top Alkie had a pleasant. “Thank you. wondering where on Earth that had come from. She pulled her head.” he explained frantically to Alkie. “Stop them!” Asty screamed. “Sir. patting his head. Then she answered.you are already signed up. Alkieeeeeeeee. Alkie smiled. “Voice lessons are singing!” Asty was properly horrified.”I hate noise! I hate it!” Alkie frowned. Using an amazing show of fleet-footidness. Astipher opened his mouth and told Alkie something he never thought he’d tell her. and left the room. Don’t worry. “Laver.. Astipher thought. sign me up!” Laver grinned. and he was sitting besides her right now.. Alkie?” Then he called his bulldog butler. “Really?” Alkie nodded. then looked up at the bulldog. Debating? Puh. and you cannot get off. searching for the new packs of gum she’d won during singing lessons by singing the highest note without her voice cracking. singing was top of her list. He’d only wanted to “-exercise my voice. Who wants to argue all day? Laver swung his head from side to side in rhythm with the song.

dear. She was not a bug. an evil look in her eye. sweet. the smile was back on her face. Astipher didn’t have the sense of a She was distracted by Kily laughing at Asty. and Kily Spottings pinned Alkie to the ground with a dagger. for some reason. o l!!! Let her go. Then Asty opened his mouth and sang with all his might. who insisted she call him Asty or Astipher and made her way to the other house next door to hers. thanks.Spottings paid no heed to the question and twittered nervously as well. ready to write or. It had been part of her disguise. dear. Now. Right now. He looked at Alkie on the ground. Astipher Carrot-Top threw the pen and paper on the ground.Spottings door and shivered in the flurry that she was caught in. How are you?” Mrs. Quietly. Suddenly the door slammed open.no need for the formalities. her eyes flashing like the blade.. Today...” she hissed. wishing for the warmth and cosiness of Astipher’s house. saying that because of the army signup pay. for fear the blade would it’s do its worst on her. Alkie opened her mouth and tried to scream from fear and exasperation. Sir Astipher Carrot-Top? I think I’d like that. Mrs.Spottings. Kily was actually a very young and attractive lady. He seemed to be getting younger by the second. dear. laughing. I want us to be on first name basis today. “Fine. old man? Spear me and gag me with a pen and a paper?” She cackled again. When she turned around again. Mrs. Alkie realized that the old lady was not old. her breathing slowing. Astipher rushed in.Kily Spottings? A murderer? No. The kindly ladybug opened the door.“Do you know something. thought Alkie. “Say good-bye. Mrs. gently pressing the dagger to hr throat. in the paper’s case. Astipher stood and looked at the scene. he was a rich rabbit. The ride back to the house was a quiet but happy one.” Suddenly. I want you to call me Kily. She was a stylish young bunny. She had thanked him ‘til she was out of breath. and from it he pulled out -a square of paper and a pen. He carried a shoulder bag. she knocked on Mrs. although Kily had locked it well. expensive coat Astipher had purchased for her. Alkie. his eyes alight with a crazy fire. “Whaddya gonna do widdat. “Oh. “Who?” Alkie choked out. she ushered Alkie in and shut the door.” Then she leaned over quickly and handed a mint gum pack to Laver. trying not to move her throat to much. He looked at Kily. there was a flash of metal. He looked at the paper and pen in his paws. Kily looked away. panicked. How are you feeling today?” Alkie smiled nervously. be written on. who murmured thank you. which was no easy feat. the ink cartridge smashing open and leaking out.. Alkie bid her good bye to Laver and Sir Carrot-Top.”ALKIE!” he screamed. Someone’s put her up to this. Then he made a decision. “Hello. either. her eyes closed. an expression of sincere regret on her face. Laver threw the battering ram out into the snow and roared. with an unusual sorrowful look on her face. Alkie was bundled up in a new. Spottings‘ house. you fo o . but Asty had waved it away.

“Yes. Alkie ended up happily living with her two new parents. who she was much happier. Then Alkie’s parents came back from their cruise. Alkie’s parents. Laver bit it in half. Everything happened very quickly then. humans who want to kill us. They understood that it was an emergency and did not question the cause. Smatterloo and Smatterlee were sick to death of Alkie. Kily inched backwards. She opeed her eyes. they went to a new place. of a living thing? You know. I know what it feels like to kill an animal. Who? And why?” Alkie stirred. Kily. There are those humans who kill and those who save. “Astipher?” she whispered. He stepped forward. Alkie smiled weakly. She was injured on the throat. like changing her nappies and putting her to sleep and shutting her up when she was crying. It’ll be my last. I really do. She had been listening to the entire thing. and they loved their new daughter as well. “I know that look in your eye. And so. realizing how horrific the thing she’d done was. Someone told you to do this. But I’ve always done it by the order of somebody else.Astipher stopped. pet?” “That was some singing. I’ve done it many times. “Kily. along with a weepy Kily. the life.” Then she sighed and closed her eyes. Kily.. but only now had she the strength to open her eyes. They signed me up for this job.”I love Alkie. “Kily. Instead of going home.” He sounded tired. Astipher and Laver drove Alkie to the hospital. But-but-but there are two who don’t. then bent it into a knot. Then she heard Kily break down in tears. He handed Laver the dagger. we animals copy humans. Sick of having to help her in her early life.” she blubbered.much. This time. and Kily and Astipher had a marvelous wedding. But best of all was that both parents didn’t mind talking at all! The End . “I didn’t mean it. Sick to death of helping her learn to read and checking her homework and financing the ‘little twerp’. permanently. Called jail. So they decided to shut her up once more. Then the doctors told Asty that she would be fine. She was ready to take an innocent life. her dagger dropping from her paw.” She bent her head down and cried. heaving. Why? Why? There are already humans out there. Why speed up what they want to do? Why do you want to end the life. Sick of listening to her blabbering on and on and on and on and on. Then Kily told the gang who hired her out.. like this wonderful organization called WWF. but it didn’t hurt. It was my first gig. I’ve had it in my eye many times before. How horrible! Astipher helped Alkie up.

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