Cat Story Number One

Oct 31, '08 12:17 AM

there was this kid and he was born with only one eye, one nostril, one ear and one testicle. we call him Juanito and he grew up to be the president of the United States of America. But more than fifty years earlier, Juanito was an illegal immigrant brought into the country by his parents longing for a wonderful future for their son. His parents were Maria and Carlos. Maria was born from a poor peasant family whose entire fortune vanished with the covering of their village with mud due to a landslide which occurred a decade before Juanito was born. Of course the name Juanito is a diminutive name which means 'little Juan,' and his proper name should be Juan, but people around him and those who knew him in his adolescence when he was a leader of a violent street gang engaged in various forms of brutalities such as rape, homicide, murder and of course kicking people in the head for no reason at all, got used to calling him Juanito and so that is how he came to be known as Juanito. But this story is not about Juanito, nor about his father who was a handsome man before he was bitten by a rabid rabbit which caused him to develop rabies and emaciated his figure so much that he literally lost his shadow. This has caused the family so much grief in the beginning for how can a man with ten children get a job looking like that? Yes, how can this be possible? But due to the kindness and grace of God, and also of the man's inherent ingenuity, he fashioned a small show where he would demonstrate his amazing ability. The entrance fee then was about a dollar, and with that you could also bring along your girlfriend. What he did was he had someone shine a light on him from an electric lamp hung above the tent. His lack of shadow caused a great furor among the religious community for they believed it that it cannot be possible that a man can live without his shadow. He was summoned to the Vatican by the Pope himself and upon demonstrating his ability, the Pope denounced him as a heretic, a child of Satan and so on and so forth, etc etc, with such vehemence that the tourists were shocked that such medieval pageantry still exists in this modern world of the internet and laptops and ultrathin Ipods and Iphones. No, this story is not about Juanito's father. Nor of his other nine children. This story is about the family cat. What is particularly interesting about this cat is that it does not care. Yes, this cat does not care. As proof of this uncaring attitude, he once told Juanito that he does not care. Juanito asked him, do you care? And the cat replied, Fuck you, I am the Cat, and I Do not Care. With that the matter was settled and he came to be known as the Cat Who Does Not Care. People from all over the world came to the family's decaying shack besides the now-abandoned show-tent in order to see for themselves the uncaringness of this amazing cat. The cat by the way is colored pink, he is chubby and covered with a really wonderful fur. His tail is short and curls into a spiral going upwards like the tip of forest ferns. A child once touched his tail and he scratched the child's face. He does not like it when someone touches his tail or any part of himself for that matter. He takes pride in the fact that no one has ever successfuly touched him without getting scratched in the face. A German coupled asked him once: 'Ver ist der Continuum Transfunctioner?" The cat did not look at themm, nor was even aware of their existence, to the amazement of the adoring crowd. (sept. 14, 2008)

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