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Dear Kalon Women and Men, February happens to be American Heart Month, so let me be the first to wish you all a happy and healthy Heart Month and a very Happy Valentine‘s Day! Wow, can you believe it‘s February already? It seems like we just celebrated the New Year just a few weeks ago! I hope you enjoy our February issue of Kalon Women, it certainly captured my attention while we were editing each piece. Carrie Pierce‘s article ―The Beauty of Our Wounds‖ talks about how even through pain, light can shine forth from our wounds. ―Love and Money‖ by Ronit Rogoszinski talks about the harsh realities of joining together as a couple monetarily and how we need to protect ourselves. Marcia Barhydt brings to light a very poignant piece called ―Sexism, Feminism & Miss Representation‖. If you haven‘t heard about this, you need to read this article. ―White Lies = Red Flags‖ by Cheryl Michaels is about relationships and truth—a MUST read! Our feature article, ―The Resurgence of Gracious Men‖ is by Chris Scioli who always manages to delight our readers with her stories. I know you will feel the same about this one as well. As always, I enjoy hearing from you.

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Pg. 8 Pg. 12 Pg. 16 Pg. 20 Pg. 28 Pg. 32 Pg. 38 Pg. 42 Pg. 46

Technology Predictions By: Sandra Morgan The Beauty of Our Wounds By: Carrie E. Pierce Love and Money By: Ronit Rogoszinski Second Chances By: Henry Piarrot Sexism, Feminism & Miss Representation By: Marcia Barhydt Ten Solutions to Your 2012 Resolutions By: Dr. Iris Rosenfeld Benevolence & Brotherhood By: Jill Tietjen & Charlotte Waisman White Lies = Red Flags By: Cheryl Michaels The Resurgence of Gracious Men By: Chris Scioli

The opinions expressed herein are those of the respective authors and not necessarily those of Kalön Women™ or GRM Solutions, LLC. Neither Kalön Women™ nor GRM Solutions, LLC will be liable for any damages or losses, however sustained, as a result of the reliance on, or use by a reader, or any other person of, any information, opinions or products expressed, advertised or otherwise contained herein. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or duplicated without the written permission of the publisher. The publisher accepts no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts or other material including color transparencies. © 2008-2012 KALÖN WOMEN ™ ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ®2008 – 2012 KALÖN WOMEN IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK OF GRM SOLUTIONS, LLC.

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According to Gartner predictions there are trends and disruptive events that will reshape the nature of business for the next four years. They focus on changes in the role that technology plays in business performance, our personal and professional lives, and in the global economy. Gartner evaluated more than 100 predictions based on audience appeal, impact and relevance. The 2011 predictions showcase a link between technology decisions and economic and societal outcomes. Here are four top predictions that will affect your organization (for the complete list click here). 1. Workforce Shifts To Tablets By 2013 - By 2013, 80 percent of businesses will support their workforce using tablets. By 2014 consumers will have purchased more than 208 million tablets. The first wave of tablets focuses on content consumption and communications. Tablets drive the adoption of applications running on another computer or in the cloud. At a minimum, organizations will need to offer employees network connectivity
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(email, calendars, files) and digital device support. Takeaway: Your organization should be offering its content, programs and services via mobile friendly websites or apps. Use social graphs and other analysis tools to monitor your market. Also expect to see more tablets at your annual meeting than in the past. 2. BYOD (Bring Your Own Device) To Work Soars - By 2014, 90 percent of organizations will support employees using their own devices with corporate applications. Consumers are driving this trend. 75% of Gartner‘s respondents already see employees connecting their devices to the enterprise system with or without permission. 50% of respondents had mandates to support iPads within past six months. By 2014, it will be common place that organizations support corporate applications on employee-owned devices such as notebooks, smartphones and tablets. Employees will drive the adoption of mobile devices instead of the standard old-style traditional corporate computers. Takeaway: Your organization should pursue cross-platform application development strategies. In addition to the mobile infrastructure, your organization should prepare for a shift to interaction and engagement with its customers via mobile devices. 3. Your Organization’s Social Presence And Mobile Applications Generate Half Of Online Sales - By 2015, organizations will generate 50 percent of the online sales from their social media presence and mobile applications. Uptake of mobile devices drives a demand for collaboration and choice via cloud services. Takeaway: Organization leadership must compliment their established business skills with new skills rooted in social sciences. They must master which channels their customers‘ customers are using for engagement and sales. Organizations must also reinvest in e-commerce capabilities through social networks. 4. Your Social Bot-Friends Increase - By 2015, 10 percent of your online friends
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will be ―non-human.‖ Using social media effectively as an organization involves several steps: creating social outposts, listening to online conversations, communicating a message, and ultimately engaging in two-way discussions. To date, most organizations have established a presence and are broadcasting messages. By 2015, efforts to automate social engagement will result in social bots that can manage personalized communications with individuals. Takeaway: Your organization must address the engagement gap in its adoption of social media. Two-way communication with customers and potential customers is critical to success in social media. Consider a hybrid approach with automated assisted with human talent. Which of these trends will be the most challenging for your organization to adopt? What barriers keep organizations from transitioning to mobile friendly practices? *Sources: Velvet Chainsaw – Gartner.com Contact Us: www.thenetworkchefs.com Sandra@thenetworkchefs.com © 2010 – 2012 The Network Chefs – All rights reserved This article may not be reprinted, reproduced, or retransmitted in whole or in part without the express written consent of the author.

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‗The wound is the place where the Light enters you.‟ – Rumi

Four days before this past Christmas, Life delivered a kick to my gut that sent me reeling -on many levelsand drove me so hard to my knees, I struggled for two weeks before I could remotely regain my footing. During this time, I was shaken to my very core. Unable to eat or sleep, or find my way in the bleak blackness of it all, I began noticing a very strange phenomenon. As I struggled through my days and nights, folks started coming out of the woodwork complimenting me. ‗You look great!‘ ‗There‘s so much light in you!‘ I‘m a very private person, so these compliments came from folks who knew nothing about my loss, or the ensuing grief that threatened to consume me. This got me thinking… I recalled a picture of my Mom that had been taken approximately 2 months after the death of her first husband, when she was all of nineteen or twenty years old. They had been married just three months when he was killed tragically in an Air Force jet crash. That loss, and the disasters that followed for my Mom were horrific- yet captured in that one particular photo- there on film for all the world to see- the Truest picture she has ever taken in her life. Raw with unimaginable emotion and humanness, wrapped in an overcoat in the heart of winter, she stands, eyes swollen from the endless tears – a brave smile gently curving her lips everso slightly upward, looking at the cam12 Kalon Women Magazine February 2012

era—looking Life in the eye, her Spirit exposed. In this photo, she stands undaunted though handicapped, raw but full—very, very REAL. And there it is: the Light pouring forth from her wound. As beauty is my industry, I‘m expected to look good, no matter what. I try never to disappoint- but the two weeks of grief made this difficult. There were circles under my eyes, paleness from not being able to eat, fatigue from sleepless nightsall staring back at me from my bathroom mirror- but there ‗It‘ was also: that Light… An ethereal, not- of- this- world beam. And it was spilling out of me, thru the cracks in my carefully crafted mask, the veneer I‘ve created to encase me as I make my rounds in this world. That very same veneer that now was smashed to bits. Lighteverywhere. For those of you who read my articles regularly, or know of my career background, you know I lived and worked in Hollywood, and as such provided makeup services to film and TV celebrities. You also know about my work providing reconstructive and restorative makeup services to burn and scar patients. My idea of True Beauty is far from the superficial and I‘ve always known that as human beings, we have scarsboth the visible, external type - there for all the world to see, and the deeper, invisible type that so often haunts us without mercy- nonexistent to those people around us. -It can be debated which type causes the most pain. But there is a new level of understanding for me now. Technically, scars are made
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of fibrous tissue that replaces damaged skin after an injury. The formation of a scar is a biological process of repair and as such is a natural part of the healing process. Throughout my career, I‘ve helped women- and mencover their outer scars, and I‘ve also worked with others in an attempt to help them balm their inner scars. Both types bring horrific pain and anguish, and both offer a gift. „Some people see scars, and it is wounding they remember. To me they are proof of the fact that there is healing.‟― Linda Hogan In the years I‘ve worked with women, I‘ve dealt with scars from Domestic Violence, scars from cancer surgeries, scars from births by Ceasarean Section, scars from plane crashes and resulting fires, scars from car wrecks, scars from deforming acne … and scars from crippling grief and despair. I‘ve known women who hated themselves because of their scars. I‘ve seen women unable to touch their mastectomy scars -and I‘ve done everything within my power to help them learn to-at the very least- make peace with these fibrous reminders—and at the very best, embrace them as gifts. Some are more willing to do this than others. For each it is a journey of many emotions, many layers- many miles. Be they physical scars or emotional, TLC is needed, and self acceptance and self love the only balm that will work to ease the pain, the tightness, the rawness. Where we are the most broken, we are the most beautiful. I believe this with all my
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heart and soul and I know this to be true. Where we have been broken, we‘ve been made pliable, where we‘ve been burned, we‘ve been laid bare, much like a forest after a raging fire…and from the ashes the hefty and fragrant regrowth comes- with time. If this New Year finds you aching, injured, marred or reeling please recall these words and then stare yourself in the eyes the next time you stand in front of your bathroom mirror. You will find a beauty there that will take your breath away- and rightly so. It is the beauty of YOU: „Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.‟― Khalil Gibran

Carrie Pierce has worked exclusively in the skin, health, and beauty
industries for 26 years. She is a licensed Aesthetician, Film and TV makeup artist and has built a solid international reputation as a holistic, menopausal skin expert. A recognized speaker and published writer, Carrie is Founder and President of www.menopauserus.com

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I am not officially a certified marriage counselor, yet over the years when speaking
with countless number of couples, I certainly felt like one on many occasions. If there are two topics that can lead to unrest within the home, they are love and money. What I want to do today is offer ideas that will hopefully assist you in avoiding the conflict MONEY can raise. Common goals besides money: The first step I take in creating a financial plan is to understand the goals the clients have. You too need to discuss the goals each of you has with each other and proceed to explore common ground. It is so important to be on the same page so to speak as to what is important to you as an individual but also as a partner in this relationship. Consolidate a money goal list:
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Once an overall picture for life style, priorities and exact goals are created, it is important to set up an action plan for the financial goals you have. If you note that you have come to agreement on the financial goals for the household, you should feel comfortable in opening up joint accounts. The simplicity and convenience of having one account for both, simplifies the record keeping and in the event of a loss or incapacity, leaves the surviving spouse with full access to the account alone. However, avoid the conflicts that could arise if there is no agreement on priorities by simply opening up two separate accounts in each partner‘s name and assign financial responsibility to each. Before continuing I want to note a few important features of a joint account that sometimes eludes consumers: Once a joint account is opened with anyone in the world, each has 100 percent rights to that account Account co-owners can spend, give away or transfer funds to other accounts, without the consent or knowledge of other account holder(s). In many cases, the "wronged" party can get back some of the money, but legal action is required As a joint owner you may unintentionally subject your assets to the claims of someone else's creditors

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Know that there is no protection for either party with a joint account if the other person comes in and withdraws all the money. There is nothing the bank can do to protect either party There are other issues that need to be addressed with joint accounts but here are some ideas to protect yourself in a joint account: Keep minimal amounts of money in joint bank accounts for day-to-day use. While they are more common with commercial accounts, set up criteria for account transactions requiring two signatures through the bank. Use online banking to monitor account activity. With so many uncertainties around us today, handling your own money should not be one of them. Ultimately opening up a joint account with a loved one can in fact be a simple process to initiate and maintain, as long as open communication and expectations are set ahead of time. Make a date to go out and discuss these matters away from the TV, computer and phones. Focus on each other and the goals at hand. Open, honest discussion between loving adults is an incredibly empowering occasion. Take full advantage of it.

Ronit Rogoszinski CFP®, is a LPL financial planner with Arch Financial Group and specializes in working with individuals transitioning though major life changing events. The information in this article is based on a CFP Board brochure, ―What You Should Know About Financial Planning.‖ It is available free at 1-800-487-1497 or www.CFP.net. Founded in 1985, the CFP Board is a nonprofit certifying organization that owns the CFP® certification marks in the U.S. and benefits the public by fostering professional standards in personal financial planning. Securities and advisory services offered through LPL Financial, a Registered Investment Advisor. Member FINRA/SIPC.
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“Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” - John Lennon

I began writing stories about ordinary people that I believe are doing extraordinary
things many years ago when I became weary of watching the bad guys and losers get almost all of the ink in every newspaper I picked up during my life. More than 700 stories later, I still have little trouble finding the inspirational people for which I began this endeavor. However, on occasion, I am allowed the extreme privilege to meet someone who qualifies as a hero to my heroes. Aimee Orion Kiefer was born on April 13, 1995 in New Orleans, LA. She is the youngest of her accomplished parents 6 children. Her father George, a retired Judge and her mother Elaine, a retired nurse moved to Sevier County,TN when Aimee was only 5 years old. A member of Pigeon Forge High School‘s Class of 2013, Aimee is mid way through her third year as a member of the schools‘ Show Choir, singing and dancing for spring performances on campus and annually at Patriot Park near Dollywood. Planning to become a surgeon one day, the youngest Kiefer made that decision be20 Kalon Women Magazine February 2012

cause she believes that medicine helps people, like a young boy she became aware of whose face was shredded by a pit-bull a few years ago. Unfortunately, just about to begin the second half of her junior year, Aimee‘s belief in medicine was reinforced as she lie crushed within her vehicle after sliding off a rain slick road 2 days after Christmas. For a time it did not look like Aimee would survive the experience. On the rainy morning of Tuesday December 27, 2011 at approximately 9:30am, Aimee was on her way to her job as a tour guide at "TOMB," a new Pigeon Forge attraction that opened earlier in the year. Less than a mile and a half from home, Aimee lost control of her 1995 Land Rover and smashed into an unforgiving tree. Her body badly broken, young Aimee was unconscious for most of the two hours it took the emergency crew to free her from her mangled vehicle. The weather did not allow her to be safely taken by air, so she was driven by ambulance 40 miles to UT Medical Center, where doctors and nurses alike fought for hours to save her. In addition to her legs being crushed, Aimee cracked her pelvis, broke an arm and collapsed a lung. Once her life was saved, the exceptional teenager awoke to find her right leg had been removed at the knee and the remainder of it, as well as her entire left leg were reinforced with titanium rods. While friends and family lined up to console the girl after surviving such a life altering experience, they each found that
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Aimee was actually consoling them. Mature beyond her years, George and Elaine‘s youngest daughter embraced her survival as a second chance and vowed to never again take one day for granted. Expected to be in the hospital for months, Aimee was released to go home to her parents after only 17 days. She has vowed that nothing that happened that terrible Tuesday will change any of her plans for the future. As a matter of fact, she is determined to turn this awful experience into motivation to work even harder to be a better person than she was before. Aimee Keifer‘s attitude has inspired everyone she has touched since her accident. Instead of feeling sorry for herself, she has worked hard to assure her friends and loved ones there is no reason to be sorry for her. Her plans to attend either UT or The University of Chicago‘s Medical Schools are still in in place and the future is brighter than ever.

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―I am here again, in a familiar place feeling something I've felt before, wondering why it's still here, why I didn't deal with it more fully before. But I'm glad I have a second chance at it ... and I know that if I need a third chance, I'll get it. I also know that if it comes up again, I'll recognize it sooner and deal with it more readily. This is growth. And, I am happy to be alive.‖ - Author and speaker Jan Denise

Henry Piarrot is a Sevier County resident and hotel manager on assignment in Nashville, TN. Please send all story recommendations to hpiarrot@yahoo.com

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Tattered and torn, broken and bruised Are the depths of my heart, soul and mind too Complete pain and anguish, hanging on by a thread I know Jesus Loves Me Need to trust Jesus, so hard to do Heavenly Father? No…thank you Father equals pain, mother does too Where are you, Jesus? I don‘t know what to do I cry in the night, begging no more pain, no more strife Feel so alone, and still it goes on Begging to die, just to wake at dawn I know Jesus Loves Me All grown up, the time does fly Wife and a mom now, the apples of my eye So happy with life, but still something lingers A death of my heart, a hole in my soul Gotta keep on surviving Jesus, I can‘t let go I know Jesus Love Me A three syllable word keeps playing in my head I didn‘t do anything wrong Jesus, just let me go to bed I‘ve been a good servant, faithful and true Then Jesus in love showed a part of my heart It had been safe and sound, alone and dark He gently showed me, this isn‘t the way Oh dear Lord Jesus, please not today I know Jesus Loves Me
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Forgiveness, Forgiveness that three syllable word So easy to say, but oh how it hurts Ready to let go, time to move on Broken and scared I wake in the dawn I know Jesus Loves Me Redeemer, Protector, Tower of Strength be with me now, I am so weak That part of my heart dead and gone Starts beating slowly, the pain is so strong I‘ll be obedient, I‘ll do what you say I did nothing wrong Jesus, but you lead the way A three syllable word spoken that day Tore the scab off my heart, O precious day! I know Jesus Loves Me I‘m open and bleeding, Oh Glory to God It‘s beating and beating I thought it was gone Freedom, sweet freedom, no shackles, no chains A three syllable word opened the way I‘m happy, I‘m whole, I‘m healing inside Oh precious Jesus, you really are by my side. You carried me through, you love me so much Heavenly Father forgive me, I will accept your touch I know Jesus Loves me And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 This poem is dedicated to abused women across the world we all stand as one in the fight against abuse!

Shannon McCoy is a native of the Rio Grande Valley, located deep down in
South Texas. She has been married to her sweet husband, L.J., for 21 years. Together they have three precious daughters, Shelby 20, Mallory 18, and Kiley 16. Shannon is in full time ministry, and works at First Baptist Church in McAllen, Texas. She is the Senior Pastor‘s Secretary, and served as the Children‘s Director for 5 years. She has just begun writing as God leads, and is humbled as God uses her to minister to other women who are survivors of abuse. Shannon‘s prayer and desire is for women to realize they can have a life fulfilled through Christ Jesus. They will go from victim to victor, and have a strength and peace about them that is overflowing, and have the new found ability to love like never before.
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Last week, I watched a
screening of a documentary called Miss Representation. I'm not sure, but I think what I was expecting was some kind of wimpy capsule about the feminist movement today or perhaps the very small sexist issues still remaining after the coming of age of feminism and all the equalities gained with the feminist movement in the 70s and 80s. I couldn't have been more wrong. Miss Representation is about the shockingly pervasive attitude still presented by media and by Madison Avenue. Our daughters and granddaughters are fighting the very issues that we fought in the 70s. The documentary is full of mind-blowing facts about lifestyles that are currently accepted by the majority of people today. It's also about the frustration of our young women, and young men, face trying to erase this prejudice. Go to the website and click around. You'll be amazed, even at the short trailer there that you can watch. http://www.missrepresentation.org/
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This is part of the official description of the film, "Like drawing back a curtain to let bright light stream in, Miss Representation (90 min; TV-14 DL) uncovers a glaring reality we live with every day but fail to see. In a society where media is the most persuasive force shaping cultural norms, the collective message that our young women and men overwhelmingly receive is that a woman‘s value and power lie in her youth, beauty, and sexuality, and not in her capacity as a leader. While women have made great strides in leadership over the past few decades, the United States is still 90th in the world for women in national legislatures, women hold only 3% of clout positions in mainstream media, and 65% of women and girls have disordered eating behaviors." One of the messages of Miss Representation is that we're all able to do something to make this stop. And so I'm beginning a new series of articles for Kalon Women about sexism. My articles about ageism will continue and I'm thinking that somewhere down the road, the two prejudices will intersect. Wanna bet? Understand that I'm not an angry feminist, but when I see an inequity, I think we need to address that inequity. It's my hope that these articles won't be rant after rant after rant about 'the movement'. I hope I can put a positive spin on at least a few of the issues, although right now, I'm not sure. I didn't burn my bra in the 70s, but, ok, I'll admit that was when I started going without one. I believe there are subtle ways to make a change which are as powerful as aggressive ways to make a change. I've already written about 2 commercials made

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by Dove called Onslaught and Evolutions that you can watch on YouTube, Onslaught at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ei6JvK0W60I and Evolution at http:// www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8U. Both of these commercials were done to expose the barrage of unattainable images that our young women face daily. So, if we're to fix this, to make it stop, we each need to find a way to make that happen, something that each of us can do. If you're a member of a women's group, if you're in a public role, if you're a mother or a grandmother or an aunt, go to the website http://www.missrepresentation.org/and click on FAQs to find out how you can have your own screening for your group. Join me monthly to read more about this travesty called sexism. I promise to wear my bra. It's time to fix this. It's time to make it stop. ©Marcia Barhydt, 2012

Marcia Barhydt is delighted to be 66 years old. A retired flight attendant who is
now self-employed as a writer, she is embracing this part of her life, especially the whimsy of writing. She is dedicated to challenging ageism, inequality and invisibility for older women, and she is equally dedicated to promoting a productive, positive and prosperous approach to aging. Her first book; a collection of 17 articles, titled Celebrate Age! Raves, Rants, Thoughts and Wisdoms Learned After 50 is available now. To read more and order Celebrate Age!
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How can you make 2012 your best year ever?
Take this opportunity to say goodbye to the past and hello to creating a future with limitless possibilities. Begin with a renewed optimism by getting a notebook or journal and contemplate these few questions: What did you accomplish in 2011 that made you feel good about yourself? Did you celebrate it? If not, what will you do? What one behavior are you still doing that is negative? What can you do now to end it? Who has influenced you during this past year—either hurtful or supportive? Thank them for their contribution to you either privately or personally. CONSIDER MAKING ONE LIFESTYLE CHANGE PER MONTH FROM THE LIST OF 10 BELOW Are you swearing off cookies and alcohol? Studies show that the three most common New Year‘s resolutions are losing weight, exercising more and quitting smoking . . . all health related. You can achieve your goals, as well as maintain those changes all year round by balancing your body and mind and learning about a lifestyle conducive to optimal health.
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We would like to suggest Ten Solutions to Your 2012 Resolutions. Consider ONE change per month and at the end of 2012 you will have 10 lifestyle changes!!! 1. Food With the intentional avoidance of the word 'diet', we recommend meals that include the avoidance of starchy, sugary carbohydrates, are high in fiber, and consist of approximately 30% protein. Attention should be paid to the Glycemic Index of various foods. Awareness about what we put into our bodies, including avoiding toxic substances such as pesticides, partially hydrogenated oils, corn syrup, and artificial sweeteners can significantly reduce the chemical stressors to our adrenal glands. Eating several small meals throughout the day can help to even blood sugars and prevent hypoglycemic episodes, another significant stressor. Inclusion of abundant, fresh and colorful fruits and vegetables (organic when possible) will provide you with the vitamins, minerals and antioxidants to support metabolic processes, limit oxidative damage, and promote efficient detoxification pathways. 2. Movement Studies indicate that non-competitive exercise is healing to the adrenal glands, can reduce the risk of type-2 diabetes and aid in weight loss. Endorphins from exercise are known to improve memory, treat depression and alleviate pain. A new exercise regimen should begin gently and increase to approximately 30 minutes 5 times a week, depending on your individual goals. 3. Sleep Although this seems like a very basic piece, restoring a regular sleep schedule with an early bedtime will provide the adrenal glands (along with the rest of the body) with the best opportunity to rest and repair. When time allows for it, sleep in! Also, paying attention to proper sleep hygiene is imperative. Work or other projects should be left in another room and the bedroom should be dark, cool, quiet and free of distractions such as blaring televisions. 4. Laughter We have heard that laughter is the best medicine and it does in fact increase parasympathetic activity (the "rest and digest" branch of the nervous system). Of course any activity that brings joy or peace is beneficial and stress reducing, so make a point to spend some time doing what you love. Studies at Northwestern University
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and Fordham University concluded that laughter helps your immune system to function better, keeps hormones in balance, increases the body‘s normal painkillers, relaxes tensions and it‘s free! Bring a smile to your face by reading: Smile For No Reason by Lee Jampolsky. 5. Breathing/Spiritual Practice Keep praying and connecting with your vision of the higher power regularly by going to church, synagogue, deep breathing, visualization, meditation, journaling, etc. For something that we literally do almost constantly, breathing is an area that almost everyone can improve. Deep, slow breathing that involves bringing air into the lower portion of the lungs where oxygen exchange is most efficient can slow the heart rate, lower blood pressure, relax muscles, and reduce stress and anxiety. Deep breathing tells the adrenal glands that "everything is okay". Therefore, take deep breaths into the belly instead of just filling up the chest and sucking in the gut. We have a number of deep breathing exercises we can teach you! 6. Quit Far too many of the planet are suffering from an addiction to one or more substances that are harmful. The biggest offenders are of course tobacco, alcohol, caffeine, and sugar, so let's focus on those. There are many, many reasons why these substances are not healthful, but a few of them include:

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Caffeine is a stimulant and puts the body on constant alert. This chronic state of "fight or flight" or sympathetic dominance causes anxiety and irritability, sleep disturbances and mood swings. Aside from the fact that it will take more and more caffeine to get the same effect over time, the constant assault to the adrenal glands will eventually result in complete exhaustion or inability to produce adequate amounts of adrenal hormones. Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant and presents a significant burden on the body's detoxification pathways among other offenses. Nicotine has been shown to increase cortisol levels and the thousands of other chemicals in cigarettes are certainly a noteworthy strain on the body in many ways. Sugar can suppress your immune system, lead to problems with glucose and insulin metabolism, affect cortisol secretion, and contribute to weight gain. IMBALANCED HORMONES can greatly contribute to cravings and "need" for exogenous substances. The anxiety and insomnia that accompany falling estrogen and progesterone levels are often medicated by alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, sugar, or prescription medications. While the cessation of any of these substances requires a large helping of self-control and determination, treating your HORMONE IMBAL-

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ANCES can give you a more stable platform from which to make clearer choices. Quit changing many things at once, rather set goals that are logical, practical and maintainable. Once the initial momentum wears off, what will keep you doing what you need to do, to create the change you want to see for yourself and the world? Why will this year be different? Quit the same habit and repetition that‘s familiar and comfortable, but do what works! Consider staying focused by creating the big picture in four week time frames. If you want it bad enough, be willing to do what needs to be done and prepared to do exceptional things to create exceptional outcomes! 7. Simplify While this is easier said than done, the new year is a great opportunity to take a look at the activities and people in your life that cause you undue stress. Make a list of the things that you spend the most amount of energy on, and then eliminate the ones that provide the least benefit. If this is a friend or co-worker who is a constant drain, set clearer boundaries. If you are overextended with obligations, prioritize and cut out a few activities. This can greatly reduce overall stress levels. For many people, the primary stressor is their job, and while most people certainly can't just quit a job that makes them miserable, they may be able to make some long term plans to change careers or enhance their education. Just having the plan, or the knowledge that you aren't stuck in your current situation for the long term is a significant stress reduction for most people. 8. Enjoy the Simple Things I encourage you to maintain meaningful and fulfilling relationships with family, friends and even pets. These relationships nourish our body, mind and soul. Whether dealing with illness, grief, or just the challenges of everyday life, having people and animals with whom we can connect and share regularly, allows us to release powerful

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emotions and feel a greater sense of well being. Take a walk or hike in nature, go to the movies, read a book, watch a favorite TV show or look at the sunrise/sunset. Make an appointment with yourself for 15-30 minutes a day and write in a gratitude journal at least 5 things you are thankful for each day. Consider doing Random Acts of Kindness like donating time or money to others, write someone a love letter, let someone ahead of you in line or traffic, etc. 9. Hydrate The human body is made up of approximately 60% water, yet most of us aren't consuming nearly as much as we should be. A good rule of thumb is to drink approximately half your body weight in ounces. Of course there are exceptions to this, so use your judgment, and for many people it will be easier to set lower goals and slowly work up to this level. The quality of water is important as well. Filtered water is crucial, as there can be many chemicals and poisons in our water supply. Drinking from glass or stainless steel is preferred to avoid the phthalates and bisphenol that can leech into water from plastic bottles. 10. Focus on prevention Think about where you are prioritizing your energy and money. Preventative and proactive visits for chiropractic care, acupuncture, your primary care physician and dentist can literally add years to your life. Spending a few extra dollars for some preventative exams, labs, procedures or supplements is a good investment. Plus, you may have some extra money after you have cut out the daily latte and happy hour! WHAT SPECIFIC ACTION STEPS ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE EACH MONTH TO MAKE 2012 YOUR BEST YEAR YET?

Iris Rosenfeld, DC is a bestselling author of the book, ―Align, Expand and Succeed‖ and was awarded the Woman of the Year. Since beginning her practice in 1985, her services are tailored to meet one‘s needs structurally, nutritionally and emotionally through eliminating the interferences that lead to dysfunction, pain and disease. She utilizes different techniques to empower one to achieve greater wellbeing. To learn more about upcoming seminars, receive free newsletters and create miraculous breakthroughs in abundant longevity, health and vitality, go to www.driris.com

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In February of each year, we celebrate Valentine‘s Day. It is an opportunity to acknowledge those people in our lives whom we love. The word ―love‖ is a rich one that has several expansive connotations. One of the definitions of love is ―the feeling of benevolence and brotherhood that people should have for each other.‖ Frances Wisebart Jacobs and Emily Bissell are two of the many women from our book Her Story: A Timeline of the Women Who Changed America, who personify this sisterhood of compassion for other people. Frances Wisebart Jacobs, an educator and a philanthropist, is considered the ―Mother of Charities‖ for her efforts to establish what today is known as United Way. Emily Bissell developed Christmas Seals to help finance the fight against tuberculosis. We so enjoy sharing their stories! Frances Wisebart Jacobs was the personification of one individual making a tremendous difference and benefiting so many others in the community. In fact, we would posit that every reader of this article has been touched in some way by her efforts. Her momentous work can only be partially understood when we tell you that she is recognized as the founder of the United Way. It all began in 1887 when Jacobs helped found the Charity Organization Society in Denver, Colorado.
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This organization became a federation of charities that coordinated fundraising and other efforts and shared the proceeds. Thus Jacobs, called Colorado‘s ―Mother of Charities‖ established the model that led to the community chest and to United Way. Earlier (in 1872), Jacobs organized and became president of the Hebrew Benevolent Ladies Aid Society (today known as Jewish Family Services of Colorado). However, she soon realized that the problems of poverty, sickness, malnutrition, and unsanitary living conditions were not limited to the Jewish community. Accordingly, she broadened the scope of her work, and through her leadership, the Denver Ladies‘ Relief Society was established in 1874. Jacobs was vice president and acted as the group‘s public speaker. Another of her accomplishments occurred in 1880, when Jacobs was instrumental in setting up Denver‘s first free kindergarten for children of poor parents. Jacobs was also the founder of a major medical institution. Because Colorado‘s dry air and sunshine were considered to be a cure for tuberculosis, hundreds of sufferers came to Denver. Jacobs regularly visited impoverished homes to bring food, coal, clothing, and soap. In addition, she often stopped to give aid to someone who had fallen on the street from a hemorrhage. A woman of great compassion, Jacobs began intense work to establish a sanatorium. She dreamed of a hospital open to any person who was destitute and stricken with tuberculosis; she wanted a medical center where scientific research joined forces with medical treatment. On April 8, 1890, articles of incorporation of the Jewish Hospital Association of Colorado were filed. The association bought land east of the city, and on October 9, 1892, the cornerstone of the hospital was laid. She did not live to see the completion of the sanatorium which was originally named Frances Jacob Hospital after her. In December 1899 the first patient, a Minnesota woman, checked into the renamed National Jewish Hospital for Consumptives under its official motto: "None may enter
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who can pay—none can pay who enter.‖ Today it stands as the internationallyknown National Jewish Hospital for Immunology and Respiratory Medicine. Although economic realities have made it impossible to continue funding patient care entirely through philanthropy, the Hospital still provides a very significant amount of free or heavily subsidized care to patients unable to afford total treatment costs. There are sixteen stained-glass windows in the dome of Colorado‘s state capitol, each one illustrating a pioneer who was an important influence on Colorado‘s development. Only one of them is a woman – Frances Wisebart Jacobs. Interestingly, the history of Christmas seals and Emily Bissell also has its roots in tuberculosis. In 1907, a small tuberculosis sanatorium in Delaware on the banks of the Brandywine River desperately needed to raise funds. One of the doctors serving the hospital thought his cousin, Emily Bissell, who was active in the American Red Cross in Wilmington, Delaware and had significant fundraising experience, might be able to help. Bissell had read an article about how money had been raised in Denmark for needy children stricken with tuberculosis. The money had been raised through the sale of small seals which were affixed to mailed letters, in addition to the postage stamps. She decided to design a Christmas seal that could be offered for sale. Her design was a red cross centered in a half-wreath of holly above the words "Merry Christmas.‖ Although the Delaware Red Cross refused to pay for the cost of the seals, the national Red Cross organization agreed to the use of the red cross on the seals. Bissell started her own one-woman campaign to publicize the seals. She described how donating money for them would help fight the battle against tuberculosis. Her goal was to raise $300 selling the seals at local post offices; they were one penny each. This way, she believed, even the poorest people could
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help in the fight against tuberculosis. On December 7, 1907, the first seals were sold at a table in the corridor of the Wilmington post office. The campaign raised over $3,000 – ten times her original goal! The following year, Howard Pyle, a notable illustrator from Wilmington, donated the design of the second stamp. By 1908, Christmas Seals had become a national program. Today, Christmas Seals are still sold with proceeds benefiting the American Lung Association and other lung-related issues. Frances Wisebart Jacobs and Emily Bissell are two of the many women whose contributions to the well-being of our communities have been so critical over the years. Their love for their fellow human beings has meant so much to generations of men, women and children.

Charlotte S. Waisman, PhD, co-author of Her Story: A Timeline of the Women
Who Changed America (HarperCollins), is a national champion and advocate for women as a professor and keynote speaker. As an executive coach, Waisman coauthored 50 Activities for Developing Leaders and The Leadership Training Activity Book. She is a principal with a consulting company specializing in leadership and workforce excellence initiatives.

Jill S. Tietjen, PE, co-author of Her Story: A Timeline of the Women Who Changed
America HarperCollins), is an author, speaker and electrical engineer. Her other books include the Setting the Record Straight series. Tietjen is a top historian on scientific and technical women. She is President/CEO of Technically Speaking, a consulting company that specializes in improving career opportunitiesfor women in technology. Sign up for our ENewsletter at www.herstoryatimeline.com

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Men assume that I am older than the age I have posted on my online dating profile. At least, that‘s the discouraging news that one man passed along to me when we met for a glass of wine. Apparently, so many men and women lie about their age online, that it is commonly assumed that you are ―fudging‖. I‘ve been told that many viewers automatically add at least several years onto your age, or maybe just round up to the next milestone. Does my 56 get rounded up to 60? I recently read a males profile that stated his age as 61. When I got to the end of his self-description, he had a disclaimer that said his age was a few years older than what he had stated. Since he wanted to meet, I responded by asking him if it was only a few years, why would he bother to be deceptive, and how was his strategy working for him? He responded that he was actually 71, and that his caveat was working quite well. He boasted that he actually had received compliments for admitting that he hadn‘t stated his true age. That made me feel a bit annoyed. Women were praising him for being truthful about
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his deceitfulness! I wasn‘t impressed when he told me he had dated many women younger than me, and I didn‘t meet him. From the research I have done personally and through online blogs and articles, I believe that the two most common lies that men tell are about their age and their height. Men tend to add two inches to their height and to deduct as much as ten years or more from their age. They also try to be deceptive about their hair, or lack of it. I have seen men‘s profiles with numerous photos of them in different settings, but always wearing a baseball cap. I read an article that claimed that men lie online more than women, but women are certainly doing their fair share of deception. Nearly every man I have met has told me about at least one frustrating date with a woman who was obviously older (sometimes much older) than she said she was. Maybe the most shocking story I have heard is of the woman who actually ‗fessed up

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(after being confronted by her disgruntled date), that she had posted photos of her daughter! After the ―age deception complaint‖, the second most common beef I have heard from men is about women representing themselves as thinner than they actually are. Every guy seems to have a story about the woman who listed herself as ―about average‖, who in reality was very overweight, or even obese. One tactic overweight women employ is to only have headshots posted. Another strategy is to post flattering photos from thinner days gone by, which means the photo is also of a younger woman. Hearing about those tactics always makes me curious how women think they are going to pull that off in person? I ask the same question about how men think they are going to hide their lack of hair? Maybe they will suggest meeting at a sports bar so they can wear their baseball cap. I had a man tell me that he didn‘t feel good about it, but he actually had turned around and headed for his car when he saw his date waiting for him. In his opinion, she was overweight. Does that make him a jerk, or is it fair if she had misrepresented herself? I would rather stay at home than have a disappointed date. I can hope that he will want to get to know me and discover how wonderful I am; but the problem is, if I deceived him to get him there, then I am not what he expected. That‘s a shaky start. Gregory Hartley, former military interrogator and co-author of How To Spot A Liar: Why People Don't Tell the Truth? and How You Can Catch Them says, "We are working in an area that is new to most people. The world's oldest game on the world's newest field. The Internet dating scene is about filtering among the vast numbers for an opportunity. It is about evolution. It is both very primitive and very modern."

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Is there harm in telling a few teensy white lies when you are looking for a new relationship? What‘s a couple of pounds, a few inches, or even a marriage or two? Hartley says, "This depends on the lie; sure we all omit facts about our past. I am no advocate of radical truth. Do you really want someone to come out and tell you how many people they have slept with?" Hartley warns, "In my mind, a lie at the beginning of a relationship is asking for trouble later. No lie can stand alone. To sustain a lie you must tell other lies. Before you know it, deception is rampant." ―Which means those harmless little white lies are more harmful than we thought. Can pretending to be something you're not quite be keeping you from finding a real relationship? If you are one of two people offering up their fake selves, how can you possibly meet your true soul mate? You can‘t.‖ What seems blatantly obvious to me, is that beside the fact that someone has offered you a false self, how do you ever really trust someone that you know lied to you right out of the gate? I‘ve heard people make light of this behavior with the comment ―everyone does it‖. Actually, I don‘t believe that‘s true, ―everyone‖ doesn‘t lie and there are plenty of people who want to start a relationship with an honest foundation. “I‟m not upset that you lied to me, I‟m upset that from now on I can‟t believe you.” Friedrich Nietzsche

Cheryl Alexandra Michaels CPC, CSC is a Certified Professional Coach and
Spiritual Coach. She is a Reiki Master, an Angel Therapy™ Practitioner and a Reconnective Healing™ Practitioner. She lives in the suburbs of Seattle, Washington.

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When I think of truly gracious men I often think of my friend Douglas. He has a
great story and even with the years of social, economic and political distress we‘ve all endured lately, he‘s stayed the course. He has refused to sacrifice his charm. Old school charm that we need a good dose of in 2012. Douglas was adopted by a couple later in life and was raised on a chinchilla farm in eastern Oregon. Comfortable with a rifle he also waited anxiously for his monthly subscriptions to Vogue, W and assorted design and architecture magazines. Once we were talking about the pro-choice, pro-life debate and he summed up his thoughts simply saying, ―I am just glad my mother didn‘t abort me.‖ He loves his life
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and the rest of us who know him love how he can glam up just about anything. I met Douglas over twenty years ago. He was the Creative Director of a large department store chain in Northern California and the video production company my husband and I own had the account, producing their TV commercials. Douglas owned a magnificent home he renovated himself on the Sacramento River and another in Beverly Hills. He bought a classic 1971 Mercedes Benz that he restored lovingly and still drives today. His friend and frequent companion was the Advertising Director - a statuesque black woman; they were a stunning duo, the epitome of fashion. One New Year‘s Eve the four of us headed to the posh Sonoma Mission Inn in California wine country and they charmed every stranger at our table; all new friends by the evening‘s end. Douglas came to live with us for a few months while he was transitioning careers. Having absolutely no experience with children, he beguiled my 3 youngsters in no time flat. For Christmas that year, Douglas enlisted my husband and my 6-year-old son to create a huge dollhouse from scratch for my two daughters. Everything was cut and sanded to perfection with coordinated designer wallpaper in every room, of course. He‘d hike the hill across from my house every day, carrying one or two of the kids, letting the dog run fast and free, then come back and nurse a proper martini – stirred, not shaken. To walk with Douglas as a woman is an experience in logistics: no matter how short the street, he‘d move me to the inside in the gentlemanly way of old, when carriages might hurl mud onto a lady‘s dress. Gently nudged back and forth, this is the way Douglas does things. A lady does not walk next to the street whether wearing sneakers or Louboutins. When he left our house he journeyed to a small town on the
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central California coast, near the magnificent Hearst Castle, (which would have suited him perfectly!) and he bought a pizza shop. This news caught me by surprise and seemed out of character for his tastes - until we traveled down to visit. By this time he had added beluga caviar and several brands of champagne that were packaged and sold in delightful picnic baskets for both tourists and locals. Already known as the best pizza in town, Douglas added a few gourmet varieties that were delicious. At night we would look out over the town and watch the sunset from the cottage he was renovating, bursting with antiques, champagne flutes in hand. For many years now he has lived with his partner in Portland Oregon, a big player in the philanthropic social scene. Naturally, the non-profit organizations he supports – the arts, the opera and many others - are overjoyed with his work on their behalf. A few months ago one of these patrons was visiting nearby and we met. ― Did you know he still sends handwritten letters?‖ she asked first off. In fact, Douglas has this great flowerily script reminiscent of old aristocracy – and he does pen notes and letters, often - to thank you or to wish you well.

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The film director Baz Lurhmann just finished filming the remake of F. Scott Fitzgerald‘s, The Great Gatsby, a monumental task if you ask me. The Robert Redford Gatsby cannot possibly be more chicly portrayed by Leonard DiCaprio, just as no one could match the latter‘s performance in Titanic. I do however applaud Lurhmann‘s refreshing bravado – to once again tell the tale of society and glamour, panache and refinement, even with the requisite tragic ending. It is encouraging to know that men can yet again look to the chivalry of the past with an eye toward the future. I would not be the least bit surprised to see Douglas‘ name on the end credits of this film. It would no doubt read: Technical Expert for Graciousness. Copyright 2012 Christine Scioli All Rights Reserved

Christine Scioli—A graduate of St. Joseph University, Philadelphia, Pa. with a
BA in English, Ms. Scioli worked as a legislative assistant on Capitol Hill, received her Juris Doctor from Delaware Law School and was admitted to the Pennsylvania Bar. She has written and produced a wide gamut of creative projects including educational, training, promotional and marketing videos, hundreds of television commercials, television series, feature films and documentaries through her film and video

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50 Kalon Women Magazine

February 2012

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