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BLACK SEA, DARK NIGHT A novel by Yusop B. Masdal
The devil in his black robes and black cape, with his black teeth that gnash into the darkness with unseen ferocity. Those rangy eyes that slit to the sides like cats on the prowl. I have not seen him before except in the fertile ground of my mind, in my pregnant imagination and the intricacies in which it is capable of inventing. The lengthy tongue of fires billowed here and there like giant waves in the high seas, swallowing hapless fishing boats caught in the midst of a raging storm, within a Pacific Ocean caught in one of its hellish moods. That is inferno that I never knew could exist in this mortal world, however briefly they may have come to me, interfering with the cinema of my mind without any regard or consideration for the permanent stain that it might cast over my mental health. And yet, the most fearful episode is still about to happen.
I fear most the devil when he appears suddenly in front of the doorway of my dingy room upstairs, hovering in midair, neither his serpentine feet nor his massive head touching any sides of the wooden entrance. While all the lights are out and the sound of crickets lay very still in the thickness of the dawn. And then in those unholy hours, my eyelids appeared to open forcibly by some unknown persuasion that even while I am gasping for air, s struggling from it. It was useless to think of running away for the source of terror lies there, in the only passage out escape my mouth, much less a verifiable holler. To make matters worst, sleep completely leaves me from that very moment of terror, that I have become a terrified victim of darkness, a tortured soul of the night.
Sometimes the devil merely speaks to me without transgressing my sight, in a voice that whispers like leeches poring into my skin and into my veins. At first, the conversation we had was directionless, discouraged by the crippling fear that had enveloped my whole being as every limb an nodes trembled steadily almost crackling my whole being like a crisp biscuit pounded into bits of flour. How could you ever spew discerning words when you are cold like polar ice? How could one ever speak to a devil? Is there any precedence that could guide my notions and insinuations? How do I confer with someone, rather with an entity, whose existence is at most mythical, highly unverifiable and definitely not within the bounds of reality as the word outsides this room knows? And yet the devil talk to me, of what subject I never moment of such luciferic pronouncement s, I always had to run away, at times into the earliest at most up and down, to and fro, inside the house that my mother never hesitated to declare me a mental case my sister Leda, and so did the neighbors, and later on my friends and everyday acquaintances. I got tired of running out, sweating profusely like a swine put on its death row, with the eyes of the word piercing my soul, accusing, and convicting: all at the same time
Somehow, somewhat we all get to used to everything, however strange things may have became in this world that is continually challenging the bounds of morality, customs cordiality, ordinary notions and knowledge-the bounds of reality.
Finally, in the evening that the first moon of July finally appeared, I have resolved to make the necessary clarifications as to the purpose of the devil.
Dr. Felisberto did not speak for nearly a minute, massaging his forehead with his lengthened fingers. He sat back to his executive chair, a certain desperation was written in his face.
Every second and every minute my mind is invaded by the devil and his soldiers of fear. his warriors of the dark and there is a battle that seems to be intractable.ATTACHMENT A “Peter. 3| Page . he is a good friend. Then come back tomorrow or the day after. force yourself to sleep.” “Hey . upside down. It really drives anyone paranoid. you should go home now. Marquez. drink a lot milk. that’s the worst of it.” “Call me tomorrow Peter. Of most things I hate is being implicated as a mental case. My law subjects do not matter anymore. not to be won by a side so dilapidated and untrained in the art of war. Pearl Jam’s new release.” The point is this strange occurrence is all for me to keep Leda and Harvey must have been the only person in this world that I could talk to about those experiences but both proved useless bottled fluids hanging over my head and some oversized fat idiot forcing us to do seat-ups. or whatever it is that appears or talk to you is definitely unreal. the latest Grisham thriller. I just better leave. count the sheep. I cannot talk about this to just anybody. I don’t need no psychiatrist. I am not crazy just as yet. Have some good sleep. the food I eat. just think hardly that the devil. I am sure you’ll be just fine. I recommend that you see Dr. Everything in my life had turned into a turn still. you could trust him. Nothing matters to me anymore but to escape this predicament. what more a war against the unknown and the unexplainable. feeding us rice cereals with no bit of chicken in it. the kung-fu movies. downside up. and think.
I lifted myself immediately. the panic was so sudden that I virtually could feel it running through my veins. lug around and sleep. Why do you have to still have to argue?” 4| Page . jerking my body from my bed and run as fast as my legs could afford. from my feet towards my feet.ATTACHMENT A My room has become so disarranged for lack of attention. as always and tried to calm down the racing heartbeat. I never expected the call that I wanted to make further clarification with Leda. The phone rating when I was about to finish up my meal and Leda was gracious enough to sacrifice some second of her attention from the television to answer the call. Felisberto”. “It’s really for you. its Dr. “Peter. I took my supper alone. I only go up there during the day. Again. when I have no other mind but to sleep. I even oversleep one night that woke up when the evening was still early. The lights were out and the moment I woke up.
I think we need to talk this evening.” Harley’s house was about ten kilometers away from so I borrowed the car from my Mom. to stormy for almost a week now. to rainy.” “No. I arrived at the suburb residence of Harley and he was on the front porch with Mrs. I couldn’t help 5| Page .” Harley started as he sipped his liquor.” she said. What you need now is a good pint of rum. When you came to me that day. the sky no stars or moon above. no coffee for Peter for the meantime. Felisberto and to myself while she was about to enter the house. The weather averaged to windy. I hope you could tend for yourself. Have some cookies and coffee. I’ll be home by that time. “I need to sleep early. Felisberto greeted me as I took my seat on a steel chair. Peter.” “Thank you Ma’am. Mrs. The night was unusually dark. At about nine o’clock. “Executing me. I was worried about you. do not worry about me”. “Sit down. “Please have a seat. Peter”.ATTACHMENT A “Peter. Peter. Come to my house in an hour. I said as Harley poured some rum-coke into a small glass. Felisberto. “Good Evening. its Harley.” Harley said to Mrs. “There is something that I am going to tell you and you have to listen carefully.
Still. you have not yet experienced visual or sonar miscalculation of things at that time and it is unlikely that you developed such. Let me continue. But it never really mattered when I am without her. expect for some occasional bronchitis and bouts with the sinusitis. or that in your you may have been affected too much by the drug overdose that eventually now your mental environment already. I am just alright with or without her? “Uh huh. I just feel uncomfortable not to be seeing her again. but who can tell. you told me that she was not really worth it. Wanting to see her. when there’s that glimmer to hope but not enough resolved to kneel down and apologized. you know. I was so worried about you. much more by the way he talks. insanity may still come from other sources aside from drugs. I could tell you that I know a crazy person when I see one. Or you may have been gravely affected by Trisha. All through your childhood you were healthy as a horse on the desert. well.” Harley cleared his throat and gobbled down another shot of rum. there’s really nothing to it. Aside from these weaknesses of your respiratory system. at least one that you could not call sickly. However.ATTACHMENT A but conclude that you are again wallowing in drugs for what else could be wrong with you. no big deal…. I checked your records in the Sinai Hospital where you were detoxified and there were general conclusion that your paranoia had not in fact lapsed into hallucination meaning to say. I received the immediately because I need to stay in contact with you. you were definitely a healthy child. you could not have been taking drugs for almost a year now.” “Trishia. Just by the way he looks.” 6| Page . I cannot tell. I received the blood examination result that you sent through your maid and you were right. I told you to call me immediately because I need to stay in contact with you.” The point is you could most probably be already experiencing the very stages of insanity.
“Calm down peter what are saying. let me continue. I felt I could cry from this rare affirmation. no one is exempted. for all the experiences you have had. You are not crazy peter. even dogs could go haywire in the head. “Another thing is that I believe you when you said devil had talk to you. Please let me continue” “Okay…. I am terrified and wouldn’t be too soon till myself would announce to the entire world that I am really a goner in the head. poor gay person. no…. Pardon me if I had insinuated otherwise. white people. I believe you when you when you said that you are not crazy. for a while almost could not speak. Anyone could become crazy. Or whatever it is they call that… that’s why I made you note that there is probability that you may be going crazy in the head.” “Well…. which I really needed at this time. black people…. But I know you. I have not gained expert knowledge on psychiatry…. I know you ever since you are a child. Believe me.” Well. Come handcuff me and throw me to the Lion.ATTACHMENT A “Come on Harley.” “Are you serious? Do not make fun of me especially in my present condition.” 7| Page . what can I say Harley? But it still does not solve my problem. no. Rich. what I am saying is that. Harley. Go on…. you called me here just to tell me in my face that I am crazy?” “No. Thanks Harley’’.
Listen. and then I saw blood on the floor of the room of my grandpa. There were huge amount of fresh blood on the floor that it 8| Page . So long ago peter that I thought I have already forgotten it until you come to me that day. my grandpa shrieked and shouted for help.” Harley Look the bottle of the liquor and drank whatever left of it without using the glass. Definitely. just listen. Harley Am I bothering you already. I believe you because let us just say that I know someone who had similar experience. again do not interrupt me. “yes see. “No again. Something in his face was unusual. it was a scotch whisky this time. I have never seen him in such condition even when I have known him for almost all my life. The earth seemed to move as I pass the hallway that I almost fell on the stairway. listen to me and please do not interrupt me. grabbing the handles before I completely lose my footing. There was a thin layer of sweat all over his face. back in our town in Mercedes. I guess it was about the year 1967 or 1969. while we were playing games with my friends at the backyard of our old house.” It happened when I was about a child of ten. The neighbors heard he cry of my grandpa that many came running towards our house. which was red and Harley suddenly looked feverish that I stated to worry about him. about voices and apparitions.ATTACHMENT A “No. liquor. “Are you alright. I run as fast as I could to see what the commotion was all about. It was long ago. peter” Harley continued as he opened another bottle of. that tells me of a Harley that I didn’t know. a face. okay I was a little bit surprised on the sudden abruptness in the speech of Harley. the house at the house that I told about which was built during the Spanish time by our great grand parents. I am not sure anymore. One afternoon.
Corporal San Diego has sent some of his men to make. Before I could see what was really happening. We did not have electricity in our place at that time and ventilation was attained by the windows so wide that you could mistake it for doors if you were not careful enough. the bed sheet. The silence was augmented by the yellow luminescence coming from the lamps that filled the corners of the Sala and the hidden shadows it had built. Delia. against grandpa or any against member of the house. taking away some pieces of clothing and belongings that were not really of great consequence to us. unconscious and bleeding profusely. the blanket. most of the relatives and some neighbors gathered in our house. after that. We saw the police asking our maid. scanning for finger and foot print. just as the sun was about to set down on the horizon.” “My father has gone straight to the municipal hall from the general hospital per invitation of the police. Routinely police work.ATTACHMENT A seemingly flowed like a river. The Sala was so spacious that even if the people who gathered around numbered to almost twenty. nobody seemed to know to speak. you could still feel empty spaces all around. In the police 9| Page . the men who answered the call for help rushed my grandpa out of the bedroom and I later on learned that grandma was rushed to the hospital in the City area. the police took their leave. inspecting the passage ways for any sign of forcible entry. It was some sort of unusual. No. some hankies. a question or two. Uncle Bert. “That afternoon. there was no wrong suspicion of the murder indicated by the authorities. That was all. the fat and clown of an uncle of mine would surely have monopolized the conversation and let the conversation explode with laughter and merriment were it not for what had happened to grandma. They were waiting for father and grandpa to arrive from the municipal hall and until that time. no one was made to answer for highly interrogative inquiries that are usual in similar situation.
You there Harley. inside my head I was aware that something not ordinary was happening even before the elders has come to the open about it. There nights when our sleep were disturb by the sudden shrieking and crying of the grandma. It was clear that he tried to wash it off with water for the color of blood on his. My fathers arrive about seven o’ clock in the evening. With red stains still his shirts. Now calm down Betty. not only from within but also from without. go to the front gate and wait there for your father and stop playing with your toy car. right in the 10 | P a g e .” “The maids serve coffees and a biscuit for there was no time anymore to prepare food for such a short time. It was never spoken but I could tell the general expectation is that grandma would not make it. This is no time for playing.’ I sure Mama would be all right. Corporal Son Diego apologized for the inconvenience and informed my father that he needs to make some sort of statement for records purposes and that’s all and there was a promise of a speedy resolution to this unfortunate event. Cousin Betty.’ Let us wait for Daniel’ uncle Berto reminded everyone. the oldest cousin that I knew of it was already inconsolable while uncle Berto scolded her that she was already counting grandma dead even even if news has not yet arrive from the hospital. Aside from my mother and father. Despite my relative detachment from it all. seemingly oblivious to the graveness of the situation and unfeeling to the heavy emotion that seemed to have enveloped the surrounding of our house. I may have not seen most of the physical sequences but somehow. gaddemet ’ I seemed to have isolated myself from entire happening. It was only Uncle Bert and Manang Lita . our Yaya that had knowledge about the things that was about to come open in this hastily scheduled meeting although most of us in the household already was aware of the unusual sickness of grandma. I have sort of become witnessed the entire experience. what with huge amount of blood that had been loss from her. shirt has appeared muddled and diluted. looking in from the outside. Everyone was tense and worried.ATTACHMENT A station.
ATTACHMENT A middle of dawn. Every time grandma was attacked by that “sickness”. Manong Godo. leaving so close to us and having been in very good relations with our family.” 11 | P a g e . his brother Nito and wife Melinda were allowed to hear the testimonies for they were nearly our relatives. my ninong. she become uncomfortable and her face assumed a distraught look that she seems to look like somebody else.
When the finally decided that didn’t have an answer of the case. She was still unconscious when father left the hospital but the doctor guaranteed the stabilization of her condition. In fact the doctor was a little bit disturbed grandma seem to have not suffered so much of a weakening in her body. When nothing actually happened to the investigation of the doctor. among possibilities. And until moment. the doctor had not yet identified the wound where the pools of blood come out. that a stranger might have slipped into the house with some malevolence in mind and stranger was wounded gravely by grandma or grandma Of course there was question if grandpa or much less grandma could have sufficient strength to actually bleed a stranger poised to violate the peace and vandalize the house/ Another thing was that there was no bladed weapon to be seen around scene 12 | P a g e . These conclusions by the doctor will prove to be immature for when tomorrow came.ATTACHMENT A “Before the revelation. the result of the examination did not indicate any internal hemorrhage. Grandma had not complained of pains in her body and continued to spew out crystalline urines and maintain a healthy bowel activity. mouth and earlobes and did not find any sign that blood had run through it. they no choice but to fall down and agree with the preliminary findings of the police which indicated. They examined her nose. He did not bother to find a seat and stood there talking like a politician declaiming his fortitudes. The condition of my grandma has stabilized my father said without much modifying the tired look on his face. they invited attention from medical authorities in Manila by sending medical reports of grandma only to wait for nothing. it was as if she just feel into very deep sleep. Blood has been found but it were never used because the doctor found out that her blood pressure was just a little beyond normal and any transfusion would in fact bring her harm than good. father position himself in the middle of the room where everyone could hear him. the case of grandma had become some sort of modern controversy within the doctor in the at that time. They are to examine her other orifices by tomorrow and they were relatively positive that most possibly the outpour of blood was a result of a bowel or renal movements.
What really. enable to feed my self and look for my own being. father started.ATTACHMENT A of the…. To say the least it is something from the unknown. Shall’ we call the supernatural bloodletting by grandma. WE thought we could really beat him with all mantras and chants that we have done.” “‘Listen carefully. Still it is unusual for it could not be understood by everyday common sense. Things that should not be spoken were it not for the grave situation of grandma and the things that had just happened to that afternoon.not the scene of crime for it were never decided as a crime for lack of assailant and of a victim. It was apparent that father was never comfortable with the things that were about to come open that evening. You could remember sometime last year when I could not even move my hand. although I have known the cases. not until she recovers and come home from the hospital. kneeling before the unknown to beg not to bother us anymore especially grandma... all of you’.’’ “Father stuttered once in a while that he often took a small breather before continuing his speech. I know some of you or most of you already knows about the haunting that had trouble this house for a very long time now. He told the gathering that the time to believe has arrived. He said further that for those who still doubt the unnatural sickness of grandma should leave the room for he or she wouldn’t help. trying to exorcise and tame the gin. but the scene of that…. After taking deep breaths father continued his speech.. he scourge of grandma had gone too far this time. It was the time that Nyor Temyong frequented our house. The last time gin made his presence felt so seriously was the time that I almost died of unknown sickness.er……. happened to her this afternoon is not for us to know about just as yet. That was the time I cried in anguished like a child. The gin was hurt but was so strong we could not 13 | P a g e . Most of you here may probably know that mama has a disease that is unusual. There is no turning back now.
The gin has come back and we must drive it away at all cost for there is no guarantee that it has any resolve to live us alone. And so I had to beg like I never did before. I could actually hear the gin screaming in pain although I never knew in what form of voice it spoke. The gin is a 14 | P a g e . When we had the exorcism last year. we could not allow her departure from this world through the malice of the gin…or of the devil.ATTACHMENT A entirely make him go away. We promised the gin everything that we could give and we promised that we would do away with the Ceremonies if it would vanish and never come back After long nights in constant battle with spirit. Maybe when grandma is dead but even if grandma is already in her twilight years. the gin is coming with more ferocity. with a vengeance. We tried to speak to the gin. with so much blood and I have feeling this time. The gin Has again begin to make his presence felt. to clarify its purpose and desire but to no avail…we have to be prepared this time. and we thought it would be for the rest of our lives when however. we were able to make the haunting stop. Now more grave than ever.
I could tell that he spoke with lesser resolve than we had aimed to do. or perhaps they were just careful not to say anything stupid in such a very fragile situation. By tomorrow. Everybody seem to have decided that nobody was allowed to speak. We do the ceremonies at the first sign of twilight tomorrow. having many sizes for who could actually visualize the image of such being. Most turn in their beds. there was no used talking about worldly things when foremost of all consideration was something supernatural.’. taking many forms. each wishing that they were away in some far away in place when the scourge has again began to reek of haughtiness. There was glassiness in the eyes of father that you could tell that he was either furious of just being overwhelmed by fear. We have to expect for anything to happen for we don not know the length of the gin’s power. Any sleep they had was not substantial if actually they had any. Most retreated to their beds with their heads heavy with visions of the gin.’’ ``The meeting ended without any more conversations after father made his long talk. I am to consult Nyor Temyong and bring back the fight that we almost won last year. it is a sign of something senister to come. There is no turning back now. to reset their minds and cleanse of whatever disbelief they have of otherworldly beings.ATTACHMENT A devil alright for what else could it be when grandma has become so agitated over the years and now. Everybody realized that in times like that. They remember so well last year when the exorcism was in full gear that my father had become so feverish that no one could tell that he 15 | P a g e . It has been a tiring day. we all need to rest now for tomorrow is the day of reckoning’. ‘We have to do what we have to do’. of menace. They decided that the gates of the unknown have started to open and they have to prepare themselves. I need most of you to be present tomorrow for the ceremonies and the players. This time. we are going for the kill. blood was spilt so horribly that clearly. fearing for their own well-being. Something might happen gravely so be prepare. father continued and he made gestured as if trying to uplift the morale of those who were around when in fact it was apparent that father needed that most.
He was sweating almost all the time during that span of days. He was also some sort of a philanthropist. murmuring all the prayer that I know. “ I said half stating. galloping in a white horse. My father had always been the image of a gallant warrior. My father had become so emaciated that he himself told me that he was close to expecting the inevitable. In si mezzo llari es me returno…” The air was cool the evening. always on the lookout for any enemy. “ Cantero. I put up 16 | P a g e . half naked and weeping like a spanked child and everyone was running after him. never took much food. father would scream like a cattle about to be slaughtered. to vanish and repel whatever harm that may come our way. I just could not accept him to be so denigrated and helpless. only water and some syrufy preparation given to him by Nyor Temyong. he would have been a cinch to become the selected leader of our community. he was a respected personage in the community in every time trouble and conflicts disturbed the peace of our community. to pacify him and tie him down. running to the open fields like a madman. cantero. the sacrifice of his own life.ATTACHMENT A was the same person if nobody care to further verify. Being a law practitioner. When darkness fell. father seem to always have the solution up on his sleeves. hoping the devil would not instead make appearance whilst he speaks to me. half questioning as I retreated to my bed holding a tasbi in my hand. always ready to give a helping hand. and the noises made by people still in the streets reverberated smoothly towards my room together with the sound of leaves blowing into the night wind. I would cry too when I saw father being so strange and acting so bizarre. When after half an hour that voice did not come. I turned my cassette on and plugged. always on the prowl.in the areas of Bocelli. “ There must be something I have that may be of use to you. Were it not for his busy occupation.
there.ATTACHMENT A mild sign that the moment of contact with devil has not actually been forthcoming. and perhaps not even breathing “ I come in all shapes and size. I felt a little bit disappointed that my preparation has come to naught. was a man. but words or even semblance of did not follow suit. like looking into an opaque window. I stayed petrified for a moment that seemed to run eternity. aggravating the strangenees of the moment as I literally become pasted to the surface of the wall. Most me wanted to shout or at least murmur some thoughts clarify possible explanation for this very strange occurrence. About an hour or so before midnight. a painter’s hat it seemed. with his back towards me. I could not open the door and I swore it almost blew my brains out when after the wind had ceased abruptly. at the edge of my bed. as I glared towards the window. Screeching into a high pitch ambulance siren that I was suddenly jerked out my state of h0alf sleepless. Strangely. not moving. an flayed and graying hat. some sort of an old man wearing a hat. to put matters into its proper perspective however unreal my visions have become. The wind steadily grew louder and more forceful that air carried With debris of no small amount and sizes. A sudden panic made my heartbeat run like wild stallions as I triad to reach for the door. as I want to” the old men said without making and movement. The apparition was vague. and the air become so pregnant with a silence so heavy that I could feel it pushing me down . “ I am the one you have been waiting for”. the sound emitted by my cassette recorder started to feedback. The mountain fear searing into my veins reached critical level 17 | P a g e . Or I thought.
Leda. always ready to bail out my sister whenever I attain an advantageous warring position. for hours. Skinny and short-tempered. with agitated determination. sipping cold tea and Chinese biscuits. that skin and bones sister of mine was to engrossed on a late night Mexican soap on TV and it was no use bothering her anything. She is a nervous wrecked I guess. I was the opposite of Leda. Who said life is not unfair. I used to have long ago touched the velvety surface of that gadget. long time first. and only when there is extremely provocation. or just worse for I rarely spew invectives. turning into a tongue-lashing. and located a comfortable corner in the sala to stay anonymous. just like I am perhaps. the commonality between Leda and me probably ends there. Leda could turn devilish even over matters of very little consequence. It was ugly but it has its rewards Things started to turn bad for me when the great Mediator .ATTACHMENT A that I have to master all what is left of me and sought for the door as I scurried downstairs to seek salvation. even days coming out nly for lunch or dinner and sometimes. not at all. but not anymore. the symbol of the modern age. not in a very long. swiping on my forehead and all over my body as it seemed. it was a mere battle of wills between us that the gadget seesawed possession depending whose ability to gnash and growl is at its peak time of conflict. I guess schizophrenia is a disease by affinity. if you could actually cal that. When my nerves get wracked. fire-breathing serpent without any provocation. not not even to breath when she is holding to that proverbial remote control. . Of course. I tried best effort to compose myself. turning into a turtle and submerging myself inside my hot and humid room. for 18 | P a g e . and with goes the chunk of my TV privileges. my mom . My mom and Leda were in the sala. started to metamorphosed into the great Ally of the opponent.
“God. cosmetics. do you call that a haircut?”. I had final redemptions from these tongue-lashings but alas. clothing. My skin felt the heaviness in the air as I gazed toward the night sky full of novas. has that most coveted privilege. the privilege of traipsing to and fro. up and down stairways and halls of our rottening old wooden house without absorbing a single scathing remarks from mom while I have been a walking magnet for mom’s irreverent indictment. meteors and all. aside from wallowing in underserved attentions. I never realized that mom could be doubly worse. dirty. Leda. It was nearly midnight but strangely the night felt alive that whatever fear I had of darkness has ceased or at least settled calmly. chocolates and chips while I languish for shoes on my feet” my father was always berating me. The reason is because my mom is a woman. TV. all I deserved was oversized T-Shirts that was always telling you not to go out when you’re wearing it. “ Look at your beard. There were the occasional sounds of passing vehicles and the wicked laughter of a group of bystanders wallowing in gallons of coconut wine. she gets the privileges that I could only wish. a very strange and surreal night. unfair in so different ways for each and every one of us. dirty!!. To simply feel not alone was enough for me at that moment. of distant stars and galaxies. I let my second cigarette and went farther towards the back fences where the rooster slept on their peculiar position. This was no place for 19 | P a g e . When. I strolled lazily to the backyard and list some cigarette. “ Have you not attended your classes again?”. every idea that is not the devil. I tried to busy my mind with every though possible. With television not possible. imploding or exploding. Tongue lashers extraordinaire. This was a strange night.ATTACHMENT A while she is similarly neurotically situated. dirty. Even while father was already earning a lot of mullahs in middle East. or that seems to shouts’ “Stay Home. Life is really unfair for most of us. I thought when father left overseas. Idiot!”. quasars.
What malady is this? What cure is possible to alleviate this seemingly unexplainable situation? Just thinking about it.” You should get help immediately peter” she continued. this sort of malady that has ensconced upon my being. “ You’re brain is dying. I bet you are technically crazy now”. At least. Next day came and through one of those very rare occurrences. It’s no wonder you’re seeing things. without even a hint of tone indicated in her speech. I was still deep into ponderings about this phenomenon. You’ve been taking drugs again. I heard or read once that people that are about to become crazy often talk about their fear of finally lapsing into the abyss of mental incompetence. In one of those rare occasions. and these uncertainties. 20 | P a g e . you drink to much … you smoke to much… you stunted by hour in front of that useless video game console. Do I have that fear? Am I courting insanity as the most logical explanation to all of this? I really have to resolve. Leda answered nonchalantly. I summoned my thought. that sooner or later their common sense would betray them. this was a better place than my bedroom. as soon as possible. where the streets still reverberated with the usual noises it makes. this fearfulness. Leda but I saw the devil again “ “How did you know that it was the devil in the place ? Cut the crap or you better off be escorted to ward 9”. this malady. she was still taking her time on the dining table. Peter. She was supposed to be already in school earlier than the first rooster could even crow but now.ATTACHMENT A any apparition. I corned Leda while she was gorging the morning’s chow. without actually being inside the experience renders me discomposed and unsure whether this is a malady of the strangest kind or simply the hallucination of a failing mind. “You must not tell this to mom. On my fifth cigarette.
“What mean is that your apparition talk has gone too far now. The moment you started running to the streets like an amok. you should have been herded to the hospital or some mental asylum. I knew it. Peter. She is forgiven for that.” Leda stated sarcastically. She talked that away ever since she was declared the Family Scholar. At first I thought you just lacked sleep but is a conclusion. “You speaks too dryly and so technically” I retorted. when she got valedictory honors in Grade School while I languished pitifully in anonymity and almost missed the march as my Music teacher then was threatening to give me failing mark. I should have not spoken to you about all these. in music in all subjects. Bad blood is running in your veins that you are now a walking factory spewing toxic materials everywhere. It should been long ago…. I do not speak of demons or some old decrepit man in a Parisian head gear. Leda was at her usual warring stand. for your information.” you think you are so intelligent that you harbor that silly dream of becoming an astronaut. 21 | P a g e . Leda was her most serpentine mood that I could actually see fire coming out of her mouth. Intelligent people do not watch some silly Mexican soap opera full of actors compounded with a silly plot of any factual and significant human experience” “At least. you could not even discern technical matters from those that are intrinsically and nonmaterials. She speaks so bluntly and she could actually get away with Mom and Dad.” “Quit your being a scientist again you don’t sound a bet like that”.ATTACHMENT A “Just what do you mean by that” I protested. “How could you say that? Craziness could not be sized up technically.
or whoever that creators is. without giving me any chance to retaliate. no not the usual meaning for it. watching kungfu movies in complete Chinese language. for hell is. would not appear in the sala. I had avoided sleeping in my bedroom again. he could appear anywhere anytime I come in all forms and sizes. What I mean is that an invisible source of heat. it drained my body fluids that my Mom could 22 | P a g e . The burning sensation was so overwhelming that it contributed greatly to my failure to fend sleep. walking dead. Maybe I should not fear him at all. for I have never really understood a single Chinese word. while I was trying to run away from the demonic scourge. Craps. The French movies were just as good. with eyes swollen from wakefulness that built eye shadows black as the night sagging face and thoroughly unkempt hair. that devil has not yet appeared to me in any other place except my room. to enjoy a show without being pressured to understand the conversation. Maybe I should. Should such wishful thinking I spent the rest of coming days sleeping in the sala. or a brimming fire of unknown location. I didn’t fully understand this for if the devil was such a powerful being. The anxieties left me wide-eyed still for there was no assurance that the devil. and worse of all. preferring the sofa to harbor whatever sleep that may come to me. It was a breather. My relief is that until now. attacking me from the back. I was virtually transformed into a zombie. physically and mentally. perhaps most of is just a myth. The devil must be nearby. And to make it worse. without the subtitles. stuck to cable movies until dawn gives up on me. My body is so in heat. Watching cable programs until dawn. The prolonged lack of sleep took so much of the life in me. perhaps he may not be that powerful. At daytime.ATTACHMENT A For the coming nights. but lack of materials arts content had rendered these frenchies not as palatable. Bull Horseshit. the liveliness of my body has defaulted to a major red light as I tried to kept mental balance.
Monday was a town fiesta. You look so horrible. Drugs had actually been always an afterthought. On Tuesday. where there is a threatening downpour. There was no wind. not to alleviate any sorrow. in such grave massacre of the human soul. but merely resulting from unabated and uncontrolled sequence of parting. sorrow. There was relief that Mom suspected hepatitis rather than drugs. The withdrawal symptoms has just gotten so worst that the momentary enjoyment it brings is greatly overshadowed by the fangs. I read in a science textbook. what happened to you. Saturday was birthday. My over dosage of such last year was not a result of helplessness. The downside of drugs was so huge that. time.” “No Mom. it just the weather perhaps. “What do you mean the weather is hot? The sun had barely come up and you tell me it’s hot. to solve any problems or to elevate my consciousness. Felisberto. when my buddies have something to talk about. Go take a shower you must see Dr. Never really wanted it. that’s actually how the weather behaves. if it’s not drugs. the denigration of my pride. it’s hard to explain when in fact. my soul. long. I never took it alone. present when the friends are in town.ATTACHMENT A actually tell from a mile about my loss in weight.” Oh God peter. I told you that if You go to drugs again. The heavy clouds actually restrict the movement of air that almost no wind could be felt. 23 | P a g e . the unexplainable anxieties. my person. I’ll let the police drag you to man’s land.” The morning was heavy with clouds above that what is imminent should be a major downpour. I started to hate it. I really have not taken drugs for a long. Mom was fairly knowledgeable with some sickness. It was always with friends. You’re sweating like a pig. then you must be suffering from liver problems. being a midwife in one of the municipal hospital here. never again shall I wallow in such foolishness. It’s so hot. But when I sweat like this. pains. the extreme heaviness of my body. until the wee hours of the morning.
ATTACHMENT A long-lost friends fatso was in town from the states. She gives me a massive dose of rebuke then left me to fend for my own self. Prim and proper. I didn’t hear dogs barking. Mom I think I’m going there this afternoon. on Wednesday Herman got too emotional over a break-up with his girl of five years. The next day I run to the streets half naked and on Monday I found myself tied down to a hospital bed. like always it was like she always wants to get rid of me. I’m just here. rum.” I may not be a child anymore but Harly maintained his easy speak with me. I was driving the car at 120 kilometers per hour. Harley. even wines displayed by the Ricky’s father were not forgiven. formal and courteous when in front of adults but a easy going. sometimes a clown when he speaks to me.” were you last night? You couldn’t possibly be. or Dr.” “No Mom. It felt uncomfortable but still. Show some respect.: Mom continued. “I think you should go to Dr. shouting as I arrived home that a gang armed with guns and knives were following and trying to kill me. Felisberto. Felisberto was the doctor of choice ever since I could remember. I have grown use to that it didn’t matter anymore. you are old already. “Fine. On Saturday. Harly David O. 24 | P a g e . never matters anymore. The stuff were there. Don’t let me drag you. except when Mom is around. Mom always berated me: “Where’s your manner. gin. I may not be a child now but I still call him Harley. Fortunately. in constant consumption side to side with booze of different sorts. He was that lanky. It’s Dr.” Mom was a little bit caring. I slept at the sala last night. with bottled fluids hanging over my head and wishing all that I am home. beer. Felisberto. You should get help immediately. peter. ”You really looked emaciated. balding guy who is a natural chameleon.
It’s something different. I never had seen such apparition it’s definitely a bewitchment okay. I know it.” “It’s not really about drugs. and spirits…the devils” “Oh. “What do you mean? “You know. you know I am doctor. Its something supernatural. If I had sniffed again. he appears before me twice or thrice already. Don’t tell me. You need to have your blood rested and comeback immediately after you have the result. “No. I approached my work scientifically. but he speaks to me in so many occasions already.ATTACHMENT A “It’s unlikely that you have liver problem. Felisberto started. there’s no point in arguing with you because you are a doctor. “Most likely. There’s no use in hiding it. ghosts. you know that I wouldn’t lie to you about such thing. you must believe. Inside my room…God you must help must help me Harvey. Pete.” Dr. Do you believe in such thing?” I felt a little embarrassed saying this but there was no choice. Peter.” 25 | P a g e . come on. it’s possible in certain cases. The devil speaks to me.” “Then you must be experiencing very delayed withdrawal symptoms. Harley. you have been taking drugs again. perhaps I’ve imagined thing before but this time its different. But the truth is I have not taken the stuff for a year now or at least a year. when I had that overdose. It must be hallucination…I hope its temporary…?” “It’s the devil Harly.
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