March 9, 2012

The Pioneer Log opinion

Elementary school practices in lies

BY LINDSEY BOSSE
Staff Writer

Elementary school was our spring board for where we are today, regardless of how very little we learned there. Yes, there was a lot of learning to be done, but elementary school lied to us and sugar coated the true reality of what education is. If you dont believe me, let me ask you this: how many times did you learn about the Revolutionary War between the ages of 5-18? How many times should schools actually be allowed to teach that over and over? Elementary school was a poor example of the lives wed be going on to live, and did a dandy job at handicapping me for the real world. For one, that whole sound it out spelling rule is crap. is only applies to a handful of words in the English dictionary, because we have magical silent letters and words that sound the same like: there, their and theyre. How the hell are you suppose to sound those out? Plus theres all those weird rules like the i before e, except after c and apparently not in the word weird either. atand no one takes into account accents. For example, someone from Minnesota who says, bag like bauge would therefore have to spell bauge that way. Everyone in Boston would have to spell their hometown, Bawston while people in Maine would write to family about their wonderful lobsta. Overall, weve essentially been screwed by believing we just have to sound it out in order to spell it (not to mention our current disability in spelling guaranteed by the wonderful people at Microsoft that spell check everything and auto correct when necessaryI cant spell for shit.) Reward systems were another let down of elementary school.

Dont get me wrong, I enjoyed every single PJ Party and ice cream social that we had, but all that inevitably prepared me for was hating middle school. e real reward was being in elementary school, having recess three times a day, and never really having more than 30 minutes of homework. We made terrariums out of soda bottles, we had model rockets we got to launch, hell we even had PE, and good PE, not the awkward weight training we had in middle school. And if we were good, we earned a star on a chart and after gaining ten stars, or something like that, we got to dedicate a Friday afternoon to a themed party. en BAM there we all were, in middle school, no more recess, no more class parties, way more than 30 minutes of homework, awkward bodies and attitudes and our only hope at a reward was an A. So what did we all do? Somewhere deep inside we correlated that A with PJ parties and did all we could to gain that tiny, little reward, only to be further screwed later by SAT and ACT scores, then by salaries and 401Ks. Elementary school taught us how to binge on having fun, while simultaneously making us believe that the lessons we were learning, like spelling, were much easier than they actually are. We should have had all the perks of elementary school spaced out; we probably would have bene ted from naptime as juniors in high school instead of in Kindergarten. It also would have been nice for my teacher to say, spelling is really hard, that way now when Im trying to spell out my major I wasnt tempted to write sicology forgetting to sound out the silent p. at being said, I plan on teaching elementary school when I grow up, because of the most valuable lesson elementary school gave me: ignorance is bliss.

ILLUSTRATION BY SAMANTHA SARVET

99 Problems is answered by an LC student who is not a trained professional. This students advice should be taken with care and your own judgement should be used.

Dear 99 Problems I love Lewis & Clark, and I cant imagine myself anywhere else, but its a pretty wellknown fact that the dating scene here leaves something to be desired. So, a couple months ago, I landed an off-campus romance. Things were going really well until I introduced him to the LC scene. Now, everything that I really appreciated about him before (his genuine interest in me, unassuming kindness, clean clothes, contact lenses, soft and neatlytrimmed blonde locks...) has been corrupted by my LC hipster-bro friends. Now I dont even see his old clothes anymore, and I dont think hes even washed his new ones since he bought them from Red Light. His once glorious blonde locks have been shorn and he has a rat tail. Last weekend really put things over the edge. My LC hipster friends took my boyfriend on a long bike ride, which ended at an animal shelter where they instagramed pictures of themselves with cats to Facebook. I denitely didnt see this coming. While he still is genuinely interested in me, and we have a lot of fun when were together, I wonder how long it will last before the hipster cynicism sets in. This relationship is not going where I thought it would, and Im starting to have doubts. I dont want to be a psycho, control-freak girlfriend...but how do I let him know that his new hipster lifestyle isnt doing it for me?
Dear Anonymous, Im sorry to hear about your dating troubles. In my opinion, the most important part of a relationship is how you two get along and understand each other. A sign of a good relationship is being able to talk to each other and enjoying the time you spend together. There are probably things about your boyfriend that attracted you to him aside from the way he dressed. Like you said, his kindness and his interest in you were big reasons why you liked him from the start. If you can still have a great time together, theres really no problem and it sounds to me like youre still able to get along pretty well. Ask yourself how important they way he dresses and who he hangs out with truly are to you. Is it really that big of a deal, or might there be something else bothering you? In addition, labeling people as hipsters has potentially dangerous consequences. You dont want to confuse issues you have with hipsters in general with issues you have with your boy-friend. Try not to think of him as a hipster, but rather as an individual that you know and like. If you look at it in this light, his new style of dressing and new activities may not be as disagreeable to you. Also, if its cynicism youre worried about, I dont think that loving cats and long bike rides is too much of a warning sign. If you think about all this and his new ways of acting still seem like a major problem, then Id advise you to talk to him. Dont exaggerate how big a deal it is, but do be honest if its a genuine concern for you. You may not even want to make a big deal of it and just say something about how you wish he would wear his old clothes more often. Best of luck. -99 Problems

ILLUSTRATION BY SAMANTHA SARVET

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