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December 3, 2008 The Area’s Best Free Weekly—Or Your Money Back! ISSUE #2

INSIDE Mall Trivia
By Kane Casolari
Where is Abu Dhabi?
International Info . . . . . . P AGE 4 Since it’s the holiday shopping sea- the United Kingdom, they and
son, you might be spending a lot of the British monarch (currently
How can you protect your time at the mall. Read on for some Queen Elizabeth II) take a car-
files from disaster? things you might not know about riage up the Mall, which is deco-
Best of t he ‘N e t . . P AG E 5
some of the most famous malls in the rated with flags of both the
How common are twins? world. United Kingdom and the country
By the Numbers . . . . . . . PAGE 6 of the visiting head of state.
• The Mall of America in Bloom-
Which state joined the ington, Minnesota is probably the • Another famous mall in London
Union 190 years ago most famous shopping mall in the is Pall Mall. The street runs paral-
this Wednesday? United States and has the largest lel to the Mall and gets its name
This Week in History . . . PAGE 7 enclosed area of any US mall. It from the game pall mall, a 16th
has much more inside than stores and 17th century forerunner of
Which famous English
poet would be 400 and a food court; among other croquet. Pall Mall is known as the
this Tuesday? attractions, the Mall of America home of many gentlemen’s clubs.
B i r t h da ys . . . . . . P A G E 7 has an indoor amusement park It should be noted that the term
called Nickelodeon Universe “gentlemen’s club” does not have
Plus games including:
(form erl y known as Cam p the same meaning in England as it
Crossword— PAGE 2
Scavenger Hunt— PAGE 2 Snoopy), an aquarium, a wedding does in the United States; it liter-
Trivia Quiz— PAGE 3 chapel, and Lego Imagination Inside the Mall of America ally refers to a building used by a
Sudoku— PAGE 6 Center. private association (club) of up-
• Not all malls are for shopping.
...And More! per-class men (gentlemen).
• The Mall of America may be the “Mall” can also mean “walkway.”
biggest mall in the United States, The National Mall in Washington,
but it is far from the biggest in the DC is a national park that in- Mall Jokes
world. In fact, it’s not even in the cludes many of DC’s most fa- A man is shopping for some pants
top ten. At over 12 million square mous landmarks, such as the Lin- and goes to the dressing room to try
feet—almost five times the size of coln Memorial, the Washington on a pair. Just as he starts changing,
the Mall of America—the world’s Monument, and the United States he hears a voice from the next stall.
biggest mall is the Dubai Mall in Capitol Building. It has been the “Hi. How’s it going.”
Dubai, United Arab Emirates. “Uhh… fine, I guess.”
site of many rallies and protests,
“I hope you’re not too busy to talk.”
Advertise in (For more on the UAE, see page
four.) The Dubai Mall has about
1,200 stores, 120 cafes and restau-
the most notable of which was
probably in 1963 when Dr. Mar-
“Actually, I’d rather not talk now.”
“You want to go get a drink sometime?”
tin Luther King, Jr. gave his fa- “No. Please leave me alone.”
Gist Weekly! rants, a SEGA theme park, Olym-
pic-sized ice skating rink, water-
mous “I Have a Dream” speech
to a crowd of roughly 250,000.
“How about Friday night?”
At this point the man bangs on the
fall, atrium, aquarium, a 250-room
In London, “the Mall” refers to wall separating the two stalls and
hotel, and a section that has a • yells, “ I said I don’t want to talk to
the road that runs from Bucking-
football stadium-style retractable you! Now let me change in peace!”
ham Palace to Trafalgar Square.
roof. “Listen, I’ll have to call you back. Some
When foreign heads of state visit
Effective and lunatic is banging on the wall and
affordable, An Amish family is visiting the big
especially with city for the first time. At the mall, the
son sees a strange, small room with

December’s special sliding metal doors. “What’s that,
Dad?” he asks. The father, having
never seen an elevator before either,
rates! See page replies, “I don’t know, but if we
watch it for a bit, maybe we can
five. figure it out..”
The two watch as an old lady pushes
a button and gets in the elevator. The
Metropolis next time the doors open, the old
821 First Street lady is gone and in her place is a
LaSalle beautiful young woman.
(815) 223-9433 “Son,” says the father, “go get your mother.”
Page 2 December 3, 2008
Word At the
Search Mall FUN AND GAMES Humor:
A paraprosdokian—from the Greek
Scavenger Hunt for “beyond expectations”—is a
Search this issue of Gist Weekly to find the pictures, sentence or phrase that ends in
words, phrases, and names listed below. They surprising way that changes the
may be in articles, games, or ads. (Sorry, but expected meaning of the first part
finding them in this box doesn’t count.) of it, often to humorous effect.
When you’ve found them all, visit
Here are a few good examples. to send in an
entry with the page number where you found each • “If I am reading this graph
one. One correct entry will be chosen at random as the winner. correctly. . . I would be very
Find the following words and The winner of this issue’s contest will receive an Eco-Bag, an surprised.”—Stephen Colbert
phrases in the diagram above. They environmentally–friendly alternative to paper or plastic bags. More details
on the prize can be found in the ad on page eight. Deadline for entries is • “I haven’t slept for ten days,
may be forward, backward, up,
December 10, 2008. because that would be too
down, or diagonal.
Limit one entry per person per issue. Winners are limited to one prize per household every four weeks. long.”—Mitch Hedberg
Arcade Movies
A. Cotton F. Heart of Darkness • “If I had a dollar for every time
Books Music
B. Dice* G. Hula Hoop* I said that, I’d be making money
Clothes Sales
C. Elephant H. John Lennon in a very weird way.”—Mitch
Food Court Shoes
D. Escalator* I. RIP Hedberg
Gift Card Shopping
E. Flag* J. Screensavers *Picture
Mall Stores • “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful
evening, but this wasn’t it.”
While information in Gist Weekly is collected from sources judged to be
reliable, the accuracy of all information cannot be guaranteed. Gist
MAZE — Groucho Marx
Media is not responsible for the content or accuracy of advertisements. Find your way from the upper-left corner to the lower-right
Advertisements are the property of their respective companies and/or
creators. The Gist Weekly name and logo are property of Gist Media. • “I once shot an elephant in my
Any other trademarks used are the property of their respective
owners. All images not otherwise indicated are in the public domain. pajamas. How he got in my
For image credits, WC: Wikimedia Commons; MS: Microsoft Corp., used
under license; PD: public domain; CC BY #: Creative Commons pajamas I don’t know.”
Attribution License (, where # is
the number next to “CC BY”). — Groucho Marx
Any text and puzzles created by Gist Media and not otherwise
indicated as being in the public domain or created/copyrighted by a • “If I could say a few words, I
third party were created by Kane Casolari and are released under the
Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 would be a better public
License. For more information, visit
g i st w ee k ly . co m / li c en s e o r speaker.”—Homer Simpson

33. Embankment 11. Measure of quality of life (abbr.)*
CROSSWORD 34. Ear: Prefix 12. Pince-___
35. Aromatic fragrance 13. Suffix with lact-
36. Olden magistrates 19. Names
37. Young horse 21. Alarm
38. The Monkees’ “___ Believer” 23. Streetcar
39. Arab League member 25. Minnesota city that is home to
40. Soccer ___ the Mall of America*
41. Big ___ 26. Bits
42. Souvenir shop stock 27. Shed item
43. Positions 29. Free from gas
44. Establish by law 30. Level
46. Enter 32. Circus performer
49. Embellishment 33. Veinlike deposit
52. Dog’s warning 35. ___-Honey (candy)
53. Mental lapse 36. Governess
56. Rat tail? 37. Central points
57. African language 39. Stapes
58. Chinese leader? 40. Clump of trees
59. Lake 43. Beatle who was killed 28 years
60. Open, as a toothpaste tube ago this Monday*
61. Youth 45. Main artery
62. Inner: Prefix 46. Crystal-lined rock
47. Plot of land
DOWN 48. Garden products brand
1. Clobber 50. Going ___
ACROSS 18. To perform a lobotomy on 2. Country bumpkin 51. Pit
1. Model and television host 20. Very modern 3. State that has the motto, “Hope” 53. Aladdin monkey
Banks* 21. Female 4. Powdery residue 54. Prohibit
5. ___ Bator, Mongolia 22. Woman who writes poetry 5. But 55. abbr. at the bottom of a letter
9. Prefix with biology 24. Delicate morsel of food 6. Weaving machines 56. Malt beverage
14. Cheers 28. 401(k) cousins 7. Prefix with dextrous
15. Iditarod terminus 29. Shoulder muscle, for short 8. Inert gaseous element *Starred clues have answers that can be
16. Waits 31. Forfeit or sum paid into the pool found elsewhere in this issue
9. Vulcanite
17. Oops! 32. Former Russian ruler 10. Measured time Solutions to all puzzles are on page 8
ISSUE #2 Page 3
Page 4
ADAPTED FROM WC MAP (PD) December 3, 2008

International Info:
United Arab Emirates

• The United Arab Emirates (UAE) son, the U.S. is ranked 12th with
is located on the southwestern an Human Development Index
part of the Arabian Peninsula, of 0.951. The HDI takes into ac-
bordering Oman, Saudi Arabia, count such factors as life expec-
and the Persian Gulf. tancy, education, literacy, and
overall standards of living.
• The UAE is made up of seven
states: Abu Dhabi, Ajman, Dubai, • Part of the reason for the UAE’s
Fujairah, Ras al-Khaimah, Sharja, relatively high standard of living
and Umm al-Quwain. is its booming economy. Much of
the country’s revenue comes
• Abu Dhabi is the capital of the
from oil, but in
UAE. The
recent decades
UAE’s largest
tourism has also
city is Dubai,
been a significant
with a popu-
part of the econ-
l a ti o n of
omy, especially
about 1.1
since the construc-
Flag of the United Arab Emirates tion boom.
• Recently, the
• The UAE is
UAE has had
about 86,600 sq km (about 32,280
a number of high-profile con-
sq mi) in area—about the size of
struction projects, especially in
South Carolina.
Dubai. In addition to numerous
skyscrapers, two completed pro- • Each of the states of the United
jects include the Burj Al Arab— Arab Emirates is called an emirate
the world’s tallest hotel—and the because it is ruled by a hereditary
Mall of the Emirates, which con- ruler called an emir.
tains the first indoor ski slope in • Together, the seven emirs make
the Middle East. up the Federal Supreme Council
• A building project currently under (FSC). The FSC elects the presi-
construction is The World, a dent and vice president. The
group of about 300 artificial is- UAE also has a prime minister
lands designed to form a world and deputy prime minister, both
map off the coast of Dubai. of whom are appointed by the
• As of 2005, the most recent year
for which statistics are available, • The UAE’s Federal National
the United Nations calculated the Council—a legislative house simi-
UAE’s Human Development In- lar to a congress or parliament—
dex (HDI) to be 0.868 on a scale is comprised of 20 members ap-
from 0 (worst) to 1 (best)—39th
highest in the world. By compari-
pointed by the emirs and 20 who
are elected to two-year terms.
2008 ad budget used up?
No problem!
A ruler in the United Arab Emirates is called an emir. Match these
historical titles (left) with their associated countries (right). Order an ad from Gist Weekly in December and
Dauphin Persia/Iran pay in January! Checks, money orders, and all
Herzog Mongolia
major credit cards accepted. Special savings on
Khan India
all ads ordered by Christmas! See opposite
Maharaja Germany
page for details.
Shah France
ISSUE #2 Page 5

1. As mentioned on page one, the
Best of the ’Net:
Mall of America is the biggest
shopping mall in the United States. Mozy Online Backup
In what year did it open? have to store the backup somewhere is very easy to use—much more so
2. The humor section on page two
The Gist of It where you can find it and where it than any other backup service this
What it is: An online service to back won’t get damaged along with your reviewer has tried. You just tell the
has two quotes by Groucho Marx.
up your computer’s data. computer in the case of a disaster. An software which folders and/or types
Complete the following Groucho
What it costs: As of this writing, alternative is to use an online backup of files to back up, and it will take
quip: Time flies like an arrow. Fruit
home plans are free (2GB plan) service. That’s where Mozy comes in. care of the rest. The software can be
flies like ___.
to $4.95/month (unlimited plan); set up to make backups when the
3. Page four has information about business plans are $3.95 + $0.50 Mozy is available in two versions for
computer has been idle for a certain
the United Arab Emirates, includ- per GB per month for desktops home users, a free one with limited
number of minutes—kicking into ac-
ing its capital, Abu Dhabi. On the and $6.95 + $0.50 per GB per storage and a plan with unlimited
tion when you are away, similar to the
cartoon Garfield and Friends, who month for servers. storage for $4.95 per month. Mozy
way screensavers do—or scheduled to
did Garfield often try to mail to Storage space: Free plan starts at also offers business plans for compa-
run only at a certain time. The files
Abu Dhabi? 2GB, others are unlimited. nies. For this review, the focus will be
are copied to Mozy’s servers, which
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Mozy, one way of backing up data. adequate for many users and is a good disasters that befall your own com-
way to test Mozy before committing
What type of floppy-style disk with As any experienced computer user any money to it. puter. Backing up files takes some
capacities of 100 to 750 megabytes knows, backing up files is important. system resources, but the amount can
was a popular backup option be- All it takes is one virus, hard drive The free plan comes with 2 gigabytes be adjusted by simple sliders labeled
fore broadband Internet, rewritable failure, accidental deletion, or natural of storage space to start—enough for with easy-to-understand tradeoffs like
CDs and DVDs, and USB flash disaster (flood, fire, tornado, etc.) to roughly two hours of high-quality “Faster Computer” versus “Quicker
drives became widespread? wipe out months of hard work or video, 500 songs, 1,750 photos, or Backups.”
5. Page six has trivia about the num- years of digital family photos. Not 65,000 pages of Microsoft Word files. Overall, Mozy is highly recom-
ber two, including twins. What are everyone backs up their files as often If you refer friends to Mozy and they mended. With the free version, you
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6. “This Week in History” (page to use than many of its competitors.
disc—or several—or buy an external byte)—sometimes more during occa-
seven) tells about the attack on
hard drive for a couple hundred dol- sional, limited promotional periods.
Pearl Harbor. Who directed the Mozy is not a Gist Weekly advertiser and
lars and then wait for everything to All that storage is no good to you if
2001 film Pearl Harbor? did not pay for this review. This recommen-
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Page 6 December 3, 2008

By the Numbers: 2

Before that, he was Edwin
Eugene Aldrin, Jr., and “Buzz”
was just a nickname.
• The second President of the
United States was John Adams.
He was also the first Vice Presi-
dent, so his wife Abigail Adams
• Two is the smallest number that it was both the second First Lady
is possible to roll on a pair of and the first Second Lady.
standard dice. Rolling two is
sometimes called “snake eyes” • The Second Amendment to the
because the single dot on each die United States Constitution reads,
resembles a pair of eyes (see pic- A well regulated mili-
ture above). The odds of rolling tia being necessary to
snake eyes are one in thirty-six. the security of a free
• In the United States, approxi- State, the right of the
mately 3.1% of births are twins. People to keep and
Only about 8% of those—or bear arms shall not be
about one in 400 births overall— infringed.
are identical twins that come • The second-highest mountain in
from one fertilized egg that split; the world even has “2” in its
the other 92% of twins are frater- name: It is K2 in the Himalayas.
nal twins, who come from sepa- K2 is 8,611m (28,251 ft) high,
rate eggs and are genetically no compared to Everest’s 8,850m
more alike that any other siblings. (29,035 ft).
• Two is the identification code • Two is the smallest prime number
number of high-density polyethyl- and the only one that is even
ene (HDPE), the kind of plastic (since all other even numbers are
commonly used to make milk divisible by two).
jugs, soda and water bottles, and
• Computers use a base two, or bi-
plastic bags. HDPE is one of the
nary, number system. This means
most commonly recycled forms
that they use numbers with only
of plastic.
two different digits, 0 and 1.
• Most people know that the first
• A playing card with the number
person on the Moon was Neil
two on it is often called a
Armstrong. The second was Buzz
“deuce.” The term comes from
Aldrin. “Buzz,” by the way, has
the Latin duos meaning—you
been his legal name since 1988.
guessed it—“two.”

Number Games

Use logic to determine which boxes to
fill in and which to leave white. The
numbers below each column and next
Place a number in each empty box
to each row indicate unbroken sets of
so that every row, column, and 9- filled-in boxes: i.e., “5 2” means that sets
box square contains each of the of 5 and 2 black boxes appear in it, in
numbers from one to nine. that order, with at least one white box in
between. Fill in a box only when you are

Difficulty: ⋆⋆⋆ sure it must be black. You may want to
mark known white boxes with Xs or
ISSUE #2 Page 7

This Week in History This Week’s
• December 3, 1818: Illinois be- Birthdays
comes the 21st state.
• December 4, 1918: President Singer and reality show star Ozzy Osbourne (“Gets Me Through,” “Crazy
Woodrow Wilson sets sail for Train”) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .December 3, 1948
Versailles, France to attend the Supermodel and television host Tyra Banks (America’s Next Top Model, The
peace talks following World War Tyra Banks Show) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . December 4, 1973
I, making him the first US presi- Comedienne and actress Margaret Cho . . . . . . . . . December 5, 1968
dent to travel to Europe while in Guitarist Peter Buck (R.E.M.) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . December 6, 1956
office. Linguist and political writer Noam Chomsky . . . . . . December 7, 1928
• December 5, 1933: Utah ratifies Actress and singer AnnaSophia Robb (Bridge to Terabithia, Because of Winn-
the 21st Amendment to the Dixie) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . December 8, 1993
United States Constitution, giving Guitarist Brian Bell (Weezer) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . December 9, 1968
the Amendment enough state CLIPART: MS
President Franklin D. Roosevelt signs the
support to pass, ending 13 years
of Prohibition.
declaration of war against Japan after the
attack on Pearl Harbor
• December 6, 1768: Editor Wil- • December 8, 1980: Around Birthdays This
liam Smellie publishes the first 10:50PM, Mark David Chapman
shoots former Beatle John Len-
part of the first edition of the En-
cyclopædia Britannica in Edin- non four times outside Lennon’s
burgh, Scotland. It costs six to New York apartment, fatally Author Joseph Conrad (Heart of Darkness) . . . . . December 3, 1857
eight pence, depending on the wounding him. Lennon is de- Oglala Sioux chief Crazy Horse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . December 4, 1840
type of paper. clared dead at 11:20PM. Film visionary Walt Disney . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . December 5, 1901
• December 7, 1941: On what • December 9, 1793: Noah Web- Bank robber Baby Face Nelson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . December 6, 1908
President Franklin Roosevelt will ster, best known today for the Singer and songwriter Harry Chapin (“Cat’s in the Cradle,” “Taxi”) . . . . . . . .
later call “a date which will live in dictionaries that bear his name, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . December 7, 1942
infamy,” the Japanese Navy at- establishes New York City’s first Poet and singer Jim Morrison (The Doors). . . . . . . . . . . . December 8, 1943
tacks the United States’ Pacific daily newspaper, the American Mi-
Poet John Milton (Paradise Lost) . . . . . . . . . . . . . December 9, 1608
Fleet at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. nerva.

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Page 8 GIST Weekly December 3, 2008

Coming Next Week Paper or Plastic?
in Gist Weekly: Neither!
• The Nobel Prizes will be awarded on December 10, the same
day that issue #3 comes out, so Gist Weekly looks at some
past Nobel laureates.
• In Birthdays, a rapper/actor turns 35 and a First Lady would
be 190.
• What do Babe Ruth, Dale Earnhardt, and Thomas Jefferson
have in common? The number three, subject of next week’s
By the Numbers.
• This Week in History looks at a human rights milestone and
other historical events that took place between December 10
and December 16.
• Plus the usual assortment of puzzles and games, including a
crossword, sudoku, scavenger hunt, and more. Bring your own Eco-Bags String Bags made
with 100% cotton!
Look for Issue #3 on December 10, or get it •Eco-friendly gift bag
delivered to your email by going to •Expands to hold up to 40 pounds! •Available in four colors:Natural, Red, Green, and Mango
Only $5.00 each with free shipping while supplies last.
All planned upcoming features are tentative and subject to change. Call Jamie at (815) 368-3283. No calls after 8:00pm please.

Game and Quiz Answers
—TRIVIA QUIZ— Solution
Answers Answers

1. 1992 Herzog—Germany
2. “A banana” Khan—Mongolia
3. Nermal Maharaja—India
4. Iomega Zip
5. Castor and Pollux
6. Michael Bay

—NONOGRAM— Solution

Please recycle this paper or pass
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done with it.