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“28 Surefire Ways To Instant Dating Success!”
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but it’s true: Remember.S .Instant Dating Success! DISCLAIMER: I shouldn’t have to say this. just write to: feedback@instantdatingsuccess.S – For TONS of ‘killer’ dating tips/advice along with the LATEST updates and happenings in the online dating community. To be crystal clear – the author and publisher of this book disclaim any responsibility for how you choose to use this material. Simon Heong -. just sign up for the FREE newsletter at: http://www.com P. you and only you are responsible for your actions and behaviors.If you’d like to send me a success story.InstantDatingSuccess. P.InstantDatingSuccess.All Rights Reserved.P. comment or any questions. www.com Page 1 Copyright © 2004. It’s always your responsibility to make sure that the actions you take with women are legal and consensual.com .
..Don’t wait for a woman to initiate ...........................5 Tip #4 -....................Be careful of looking like a player or “over-qualifying” her..... .......... 3 Tip #1 -.............. Simon Heong -............................Beware the Friend Zone ..........................com .............4 Tip #3 -................The most effective strategy for getting women .................. www.........................3 Tip #2 -................... 14 Page 2 Copyright © 2004...................... 11 Tip #8 -.....................How to Manage Pain .... 10 Tip #7 -....InstantDatingSuccess....How to Handle Eye Contact .... 13 The End ..........Get the complete attitude............... 12 Tip #9 -................................................ not just a bunch of separate “strategies............................. 12 Tip #10 -.................................................................................8 Tip #6 -..Should you ever try to win back an ex-girlfriend? ....All Rights Reserved............Instant Dating Success! 28 Surefire Ways To Instant Dating Success! Table of Contents: Chapter 1: CARLOS XUMA .7 Tip #5 -............How to get a woman into a more intimate mindset ......................Two BIG mistakes a guy can make with women .” ..................
Simon Heong -. I’ve been teaching this stuff to people for years. Keep your head about you when you’re out there in the dating and seduction world. The most important tip will probably go unmentioned and unnoticed.com.Seductionmethod. Remember that all of these tips work when you’re a man who can relax in his own confidence. and audio programs at http://www.com where you will learn the Secrets of the Alpha Man and how you can take control of your life – and your sex life. game over.” In the immortal words of the un-nameable shoe company: JUST DO IT.alphaseduction. but it is simply this: Get out there and DO SOMETHING. I’m sure you’ve met someone that didn’t seem to actually be on the inside what they were presenting on the outside. I help men every day through my newsletter. All you have to do is be willing to TAKE ACTION. I now offer a complete male self-confidence program at http://www. these tips don’t matter to you until you get your head on straight. Hands down. The man who can put aside his fragile ego and just get as much experience as he possibly can is going to WIN at this game. “Don’t make mistakes. “Master. A great martial artist was once asked.datingdynamics. but they require a certain attitude to back them up.InstantDatingSuccess. www. These tips you’re about to read all work.com . what is the secret of great kung-fu?” To which he replied.Get the complete attitude.” This means that your actions match your inner beliefs. Page 3 Copyright © 2004.com and http://www. “How do you learn how to not make mistakes?” To which the master replied. Be willing to jump in and make mistakes. “Make mistakes. The word you need to learn is “congruence.” If there’s one message I can get across to you.All Rights Reserved.” And the apprentice asked. ebooks. it’s that you need to avoid using only clever “tricks” for picking up women. Make LOTS of mistakes. or a woman will see straight through you. zip up your pants. Everything else is just talk.Instant Dating Success! Chapter 1: CARLOS XUMA Guys. Tip #1 -. not just a bunch of separate “strategies.
All Rights Reserved. They seem like “players. Simon Heong -. Be smooth. but that doesn't mean she has to trust you or feel comfortable around you. Remember that part of the equation is feeling self-confident. www. and we want to lock her in as soon as possible. you must be human. and that's the primary reason we get obsessed when we find a woman we really like. If you're not achieving congruency (your actions = your beliefs) then you'll trigger alarms in her head and she'll lose her feelings of trust. A lot of women are intimidated by men that come across as almost too secure or too cocky.Be careful of looking like a player or “over-qualifying” her. Acting aloof or distant is the wrong angle to play early in the game. Don’t just emulate a bunch of tricks and tips and hope to come off with this congruence. Again.InstantDatingSuccess. We realize how rare a good woman is. You want to appear unflappable by her behavior. but seem like a real flesh and blood man. You have to come across as human. She has to feel that you've got a heart. Page 4 Copyright © 2004. It doesn’t work that way. You want to avoid over-doing it. What you have to do is establish RAPPORT and TRUST while you're giving her the James Bond smile.” This is because a guy that is too confident with women can forget to establish the right feelings before establishing his confidence. You need to effectively present the complete attitude so that you can understand from the bottom up what a woman looks for in a man. Tip #2 -.com . Confidence is a combination of many small behaviors that add up to the overall total self-confidence of a man.Instant Dating Success! Keep in mind that women have a very heightened sense of radar for this sort of thing. and they can see things about your behavior that you had no idea you were communicating. So while you’re reading these strategies and tips. remember that there is an underlying attitude to be developed as well. I believe that most guys want just one good woman. Always remember that what you think you're communicating with your confidence may not be received and interpreted the way you want. but not too distant from her. So shoot for the confidence as you work on building rapport with her. (And hopefully you do have one!) Remember: Act with a laid-back confidence that she can trust.
and how it functions in dating and seduction. (My dad's attempt was really bad. How you handle pain will ultimately determine the level of your success. because that will be the ultimate weapon in this war of the sexes. You see. and I want to help you through a little of your own anguish here right now. from reading “Teen” magazine to “Cosmopolitan. They've always had the upper hand." That got me thinking about the nature of pain. THE DATING BLACK BOOK and THE SEDUCTION METHOD. Men don't have the built-in sexual instincts that women are brought up with. as sick as that sounds – to go through a little discomfort to get to your goals with women. The way you handle your pain in the singles world is critical to your overall success. The most important thing for a man to do as he learns how to handle women is to keep his head on straight. Our sexual education is mostly comprised of a few bad porno movies. you have to be willing – and even a little eager.” and they know how the game works and how to play to win. or our embarrassed father trying to explain the birds and the bees.How to Manage Pain I saw a demonstration a while back of some Marines doing chin-ups to boost enlistment.All Rights Reserved. Guys just start out at a natural disadvantage in dating and sex. They learned how to collaborate and talk with other women about the drama of their relationships for enjoyment. Page 5 Copyright © 2004. Women study this stuff every week. I noticed the t-shirt one of the bigger guys had on.Instant Dating Success! Tip #3 -. www. playing football and 'reading' Penthouse from time to time.) Women got busy learning the truth as soon as they discovered that Ken dolls were not anatomically correct. I walked away more confused than before he started talking.com . How do you view pain? Do you avoid pain at all costs? Do you find yourself seeking only pleasure and staying away from circumstances that could potentially cause you pain? I address the pain/pleasure motivational spectrum in my e-books. As young men we focus on being strong providers and enjoying ourselves. You must keep yourself on the positive upward spiral.InstantDatingSuccess. Simon Heong -. and the message was brutally honest and clear: "Pain is the sensation of weakness leaving your body. Keep your attitude healthy.
Stay as detached from her as possible at the early stages so you can avoid getting misled and confused. and absolutely none of it reflects on you as a person. Remember that while you're trying to get into her bed. not what she says. You need to keep your observation of her behavior based only on the results you get. www. Set a threshold of emotional investment with women so that you limit your potential pain from them. Watch only what she does. If you find it difficult to flirt and hit on the ladies because it's too painful. and then you can deal with her in the major leagues.) So how do you manage the pain? First of all. (Unlike Michael. women will give you a chance about 90+% of the time. back off a bit. As long as you're not a complete idiot and don't come on too strong. but he had to go back to the minors to prove himself? You need to understand that YOU have to go back to the minor league. All of the rejection you’re so worried about is imagined. realize that the only pain you feel when you're out there in the "dating" world is all self-induced. Understand that most women never do the things you are afraid of just for walking up and talking to her. you'll create a lot of pain for yourself. If you get caught up in the game of trying to figure out why she didn't call. and even more difficult to not take her reactions too seriously. or why she always flirts with other guys when you're around. Remember way back when Michael tried playing ball in the major leagues. Just say "Hi!" as you pass them on the street. even when her words seem confusing and contradictory. So how do you contend with the constant disappointment and mixed messages? Pain Management is your answer. like slapping you or throwing a drink in your face. think of it being something like when Michael Jordan decided he wanted to switch from basketball to baseball.InstantDatingSuccess. You are the one making yourself feel bad or inadequate 95% of the time.All Rights Reserved.com . Another form of pain management is to ensure that you interpret women's reactions correctly. you should never try to get into her head. Reduce your energy output so that you don't feel intimidated by her response. Page 6 Copyright © 2004. You need to get a few bumps and bruises. then you can start to risk more contact with her again. Simon Heong -. you CAN and WILL make it to the major leagues in this sport if you keep learning and improving. Her actions will tell you what she is feeling. When you get sufficiently recharged. too. and you'll feel more up to the challenge. It's easy and tempting to read too much into her behavior.Instant Dating Success! To get better at the game of dating and seduction.
but doesn’t realize that women don’t want to risk the loss of the friendship. Allow me to explain: A woman may entertain the notion of turning a friend into a lover. you’ll bomb big time. If you don’t know when that mood is. or only a 4 out of 100 chance to win. And even if you get the timing right. Tip #4 -. Simon Heong -. Page 7 Copyright © 2004. This situation is mostly a symptom of “scarcity” thinking on the part of the guy. Don't make this mistake. and you'll be able to stay in the game longer. “Oh. but it occurs only once in a hundred times of her hanging out with him. Manage your pain and you’ll be able to improve by leaps and bounds. you’d have to be an idiot to take 4% over the 50% odds. they turn bitter and angry. and your endurance and tolerance will rise dramatically . which would you take? Duh. A man only gets focused on “converting” a friend because he believes his options are limited. Yet this is what men do all the time when they try for a woman that has already placed them in the “friends” category. Let’s just play the odds here: If you were in Vegas and you were given either 50/50 odds to win. chances are she’ll come to her senses and think. It’s a mood. no! I don’t want to ruin our friendship…” A man often wants to make a girl “friend” into a lover.Beware the Friend Zone Once you’ve entered the “friend zone” you have almost no hope. You'll feel your insecurities around women fade away with each step you take. www. A man should be so busy meeting new women that his friends and women he’s already dated can be comfortably forgotten.All Rights Reserved. fleeting and temporary.Instant Dating Success! The primary rule for pain management is the same as it is on Wall Street: Only invest as much as you can afford to lose. And remember: Pain is nothing more than the sensation of weakness leaving your body. Too many guys get into trouble by putting too much of an emotional investment out there.InstantDatingSuccess. The only way you can overcome this is by having a crystal ball to go along with your brass balls.as will your results. Manage your pain.com . and then when they don't get the response they feel entitled to.
and you’ll have no problems that will put you in the “Let’s just be friends” category. this goes back to a man’s thinking.All Rights Reserved. And the reason a woman only considers a man a friend is that he’s already failed to push her attraction mechanism buttons to get her interested. when there are millions of other women are waiting out there that you could start out with the right way from the start. this takes an almost complete turnaround in attitude on the part of the man. The ability to make a woman laugh is probably your number one asset. sane women love to laugh. but it requires a real cocky attitude that isn’t afraid to tease her and amp up the sexual tension between them. and it's amazing just how far you can go with it. And the guy has to be willing to lose her as a friend to do it. why not place your odds on a winning game? Use my strategies and tips to get her attracted right from the start. Maybe we’ll find that spark between us if we don’t have that getting in our way.The most effective strategy for getting women There are two parts to this strategy: The first part is using humor and teasing. In fact. or he thinks he lacks the skill to go meet them. so that she can see his Alpha characteristics. Simon Heong -. So I’m afraid I can’t be just friends with you anymore. Tip #5 -. Page 8 Copyright © 2004. Period. I've gotten girlfriends – and laid – more just by using this one simple trait alone. and say. Tina. Women do not like to ruin friendships. and partly because he’s brainwashed himself into believing that this woman is so fantastic. Partly because he’s built her up in his head so much that he’s pushed himself into love with her. I think we’d be really good together. the “friends first” myth will sink you.” But. Again. Her nervous system has already tuned you out. and stable. he’ll fall back on the women he already knows.com . it can be done.InstantDatingSuccess. We all want to laugh. guys. Instead of wasting all that time and energy on a low probability of return. She has to feel powerful sexual attraction first. “You know.Instant Dating Success! You end up spending ten times more effort (with very little hope of return) on this gal. he has to be willing to give her up first. And that’s most of the reason they would avoid going into the “romantic zone” with men they’re already friends with. If he believes there are no other women out there. www. Now. again. Remember.
www. Teasing can be done as lighthearted fun. or used as what some refer to as a "negative hit.InstantDatingSuccess. as the man. You. It shows a certain level of relaxed selfconfidence all its own. is pretty rare. and you have your own source of confidence. I realized that true comedy. and it’s another one of my Truth principles. Page 9 Copyright © 2004. are required to initiate.All Rights Reserved. Simon Heong -. Humor conveys many different things. and it also demonstrates a great deal of challenge to her. You have to be judicious about its use. you must be willing to stop and step back. The interesting thing is that most women will laugh with you out of sheer nervousness. but a good tease gets a woman's attraction started. I've gone to stand-up routines where I sat there feeling horribly embarrassed for the comedian and his feeble attempt at jokes." Teasing lets a woman know you aren’t intimidated by her.” There is a pattern here that you need to recognize so you'll understand why setbacks occur and why they should not trouble you in the slightest. So don't feel bad at all if you're not a one-man laugh machine.com . here's your dance pattern: The dance of interaction you want to achieve with a woman is always two steps forward and one step back. on the level of the old Eddie Murphy or Robin Williams. The best kind of humor to use is teasing. And the rhythm is slow and unhurried. Consider this: Not very many people are funny. giving her space to breathe. or “The Dance. and that you're not so intense that you can't crack a joke about the silly parts of life around you. Remember those old dance diagrams that show you the outlines of shoes on the floor and numbers to tell you where to step? Well.Instant Dating Success! If you don't have a well-developed funny bone. It's a fact. The second part of this strategy is what I call the sexual tug-of-war. You don't have to be a great comedian to get women to laugh. all they need is a gentle poke in the ribs. This is immensely powerful in attracting a woman. It lets a woman know she can breathe a little and not be so intense and serious. For every two advances and initiations you take with her. now is the time to work on it. You can't demonstrate a sense of humor without displaying a little confidence at the same time. Inspiring a woman's attraction is a dance. Humor also shows you don't take life too seriously.
In general. you will give her the room she needs to breathe.Instant Dating Success! It's amazing what a little space to think will do for a woman's attitude when it comes to appreciation and her recognizing what you have to offer. Men are tactile beings. where she appears to be resisting all further advances. Well. You show your interest with hints. Most men are afraid to put this to work for them. and start to miss you.we see a pretty gal. This will give her added comfort and trust in you. as well as demonstrating that you have self-discipline and self-confidence. We long for the soft touch of a woman's flesh. This is where you start to awaken her sexual attraction through strategic touching. we're gropers. One of the first things you must realize is that men. just as women are. The opposite is actually true.How to get a woman into a more intimate mindset Kinesthetics is the next step after you’ve managed to get a woman interested in you initially.com . whether it's over coffee or a three-course meal. we can and we can't. www. she will lose interest and forget about him. and if you have been able to keep a good level of trust without losing your mystery and challenge with her. Give her an opportunity to miss you before you head back in and go after her again. Simon Heong -. not beating her over the head. From that point on. If you've been dating a woman for a while and find that you have reached a stalemate. Very often. By backing off and giving her space at a strategic point where you sense that she might be feeling a bit closed-in and maybe even smothered by your advances.All Rights Reserved. we are fighting our own natural desires. we can stoke her flames of desire by showing our interest. It's difficult for many of us to hold back. What we men lack is self-control. Only needy and insecure men overwhelm women with a constant barrage of affection. Once you've established an initial attraction. a woman will want to find out more about you. Tip #6 -. on the first few meetings with a woman. A lot of restraint. your best bet is always a strategic withdrawal. afraid that if they back off or let up on the intensity of their romantic assault on the women. especially because men’s initial attraction begins with visual curiosity -. That is. and then it becomes a craving to touch her. show some restraint. start touching women far too early in their interactions. as we shall see. and the neat little parts of her that seem to beg for our hands to go exploring. on the whole. Take a step back and apply your self-discipline. Most men mistakenly believe that by forcing our touch on the woman. Page 10 Copyright © 2004.InstantDatingSuccess. she just needs you to step back and let her know that you're not going to run her over. think.
and part of your job is to keep her wondering about it long enough that she will respond positively when you do. She hasn't touched you before. get up. by getting her away from her friends and her family. A woman doesn’t want to feel promiscuous in any way.InstantDatingSuccess. offer her your arm.com . and that I'm confident enough to demonstrate a little touch. On the first meeting.” Here. Some women will simply never be the first to act. a man has to offer her an escape. And many women repress their sexuality. so that she knows you're not going to start pawing her. Usually this is by removing her from the environment in which she normally lives. This means that her internal “slut complex” must be silenced. She will be impressed. So a man must give her opportunities to act on her sexual desires (which are often stronger than a man’s. and then place your hand on her back gently as you ask her if there's anything you can get her. by the way. The objective is to give her just a little less physical attention than she desires initially. Build her desire through anticipation.All Rights Reserved. What you want to do is build up her anticipation. www. You tease this part of her mind when you give her an unexpected hint of what is to come. Or. she can feel safe about acting on her own sexual desires. The key is to drive up her physical attraction to mind-blowing levels. or you'll defuse the power and possibly risk her discomfort. isolating her in a “fantasy world. Every woman wants to know what the man’s touch feels like. Tip #7 -.) To do this.Instant Dating Success! Let's put it this way. and then give her the opportunity to act on them. just enough so she doesn't think you're a cold fish. Simon Heong -. EXAMPLE: If you're in a Starbucks and you need some more sugar for your coffee. There's a great deal of power in the novelty of this – the newness. which lets her know that I'm not needy. if you both have to cross a street. Remove your hand after a second.) Page 11 Copyright © 2004. For the end of a first meeting. Balance your distance with a measured amount of flirtatious behavior. (Though thankfully this is much less so than ever before. until she’s been made comfortable enough with a man to express her own desires. you should make one or two small kino (short for Kinesthetic) maneuvers. the sensation of his skin against hers. The best one is a simple – and brief – touch to her arm or shoulder. and make sure the touch is no longer than a second. Don't linger too long. I usually go for a quick hug. start to walk around her. Don't touch her too early. it's better to hold back too much than to make the mistake of demonstrating physical attention too soon or inappropriately.Don’t wait for a woman to initiate Women will initiate sex when they feel they have the freedom from social judgment that they normally live under.
the endorphins are in my bloodstream. and failed to demonstrate true Alpha Man traits when he had the chance. Mistake 2 . the more women you meet and date. They draw out the guest to feel good and talk freely. A lot of guys wish women would initiate sex.InstantDatingSuccess. www. hyper men. and how unlikely it is you'll give her good loving if you’re so caught up in yourself. but that’s not likely to happen until a woman has established a relationship where she can feel trust. If you aren't relaxed. The reverse is doubly true – if you yammer on and on. Tip #8 -. A woman will only initiate when her own level of desire for something overcomes her internal mental limits. and my overall confidence is higher. Tip #9 -. (Usually. and when she feels that she has been liberated of judgment by others. Once a woman’s attraction has been lowered to the point where she breaks up with him.Instant Dating Success! So you cannot wait for her to make the advance on you. and they don’t need to always be talking themselves. but she'll be thinking about what a bore you are. If she initiated the breakup. Take some time before the date to relax and let go of your anxiety and expectations.Should you ever try to win back an ex-girlfriend? This depends on the terms and situation of the breakup.Two BIG mistakes a guy can make with women Mistake 1 .com . Try that for a relaxation therapy. I find that I'm most relaxed meeting women after I've exercised really hard. or pulled her so far out of her environment that she can feel liberated of her inhibitions. Simon Heong -. Take a lesson from the great talk show hosts. you have to be willing to risk making the moves. You want to focus at least 70% of the conversation on her.All Rights Reserved. she'll nod and smile. the more you'll be able to relax around them. you'll convey nothing but desperation. Chances are that he made the mistake of being too insecure or clingy with her. this only happens when she hits a bad spell of insecurity and nostalgia. Women are not attracted to manic. it’s rare that she’s going to return.Talking too much: (especially about yourself): This includes bragging. Overall.) Page 12 Copyright © 2004. I'm at ease. Watch them as they ask questions and get everyone laughing during the interviews. and she believes that the man who understands her will be a good lover. the man needs to back off completely. Her experience is that the man who listens to her will understand her. A man (an ALPHA Man) must always be ready and willing to act.Not relaxing: Don't be hyper and visibly nervous. In the beginning. and she'll be repelled. It never pays to wait for the woman to initiate.
work your way up to increasing the amount of time you hold that contact. Why is eye contact so important? First. The only situation where it may make sense to get with an ex is when the man broke it off with her. a man could get 5 new women for every ex-girlfriend he tries to regain.How to Handle Eye Contact The best place for most men to start working on their confidence and attracting women is by making simple and consistent eye contact. When you lock eyes with a woman. Then. Not because he couldn’t find anyone else. you're saying.com . your eyes can communicate an incredible amount of information.All Rights Reserved. Pursuing an ex without repairing the fault is like pulling off the road when your car overheats. Third. as silly as that sounds. He has to root out the behaviors that created this situation first. you’ll feel a new sense of authority and confidence. This is a symptom of “one-itis.” Page 13 Copyright © 2004. Next. and I’m confident enough to show it.” where a man believes that this woman is “the one” for him. Before you know it. www. Try keeping strong eye contact with your dog. but because he now understands that she was actually a better fit than he originally imagined.Instant Dating Success! Again. Simon Heong -. and then trying to start it up and drive it right away. you'll notice that so few people can maintain any kind of eye contact back. Then work on up to keeping eye contact with the salespeople you encounter. "I'm interested. Eye contact is a short-cut to female responsiveness. Tip #10 -. inconsistent eye untrustworthy character. contact is an indicator of insecurity and possibly Fourth. Then with your peers and associates. You have to find out why things went wrong and fix them or you’ll blow it all over again – perhaps for good. try locking eyes with women you pass on the street. as we spoke about with the “friends” situation. and get his manhood back in place first. Then work up to the receptionist at the front desk of the place where you work. confident behavior. and he decides it’s worth trying again. Second. This doesn't even mean you have to do it with women initially. strong eye contact (not freaky-psycho staring) is an indication of dominant.InstantDatingSuccess. He’s blinded by insecurity and scarcity thinking.
com) offer men a variety of resources to improve their dating and sex life. The e-books give you the vital reference information you need to get more women in your life. Publisher’s Note: This is just a very short excerpt from Carlos’ Top 28 Dating Tips that he so unselfishly revealed in his contribution to this book.com <-- P.seductionmethod. Simon Heong -. And it will radically improve your game with women.InstantDatingSuccess. you’ll discover TONS (over 300+ to be exact!) of the latest tips.com . just write to: feedback@instantdatingsuccess. His Advanced Audio Coaching gives you monthly advice on a variety of dating topics.datingdynamics.alphaseduction.If you’d like to send me a success story. (http://www. tricks and techniques from the Net’s most promising dating authors that will teach YOU how to become grossly successful with the types of women you’ve always wanted – that almost no men know about… For more information. His sites – Dating The Seduction Method (http://www. the easier it gets. with exercises and examples of effective tactics to use. Alpha Man Seduction Dynamics (http://www.InstantDatingSuccess.Instant Dating Success! You'll find that the more you do this.com).com The End Page 14 Copyright © 2004.All Rights Reserved.S . comment or any questions. www.com). Carlos Xuma is one of the most popular online advisors for men. If you liked what you’ve just read – wait ‘til you see what’s actually INSIDE the full complete version of the Net’s Best-Selling dating compilation book … The “28 Surefire Ways To Instant Dating Success!” In it. just click here: --> http://www.
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