Professional Documents
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The diet literature explains calories burned while jogging, playing tennis or golfing,
but similar information concerning sexual activity has, until now, been unavailable.
Yet, a survey of 206,000,000 people indicated that 96% devote more time and effort to
sex than jogging, tennis, or golf, and we felt that the time was right for a new type of
sex manual.
EXAMPLES:
53 minutes kissing yourself Burns Off: Christmas turkey with all the trimmings.
Includes setting the snooze alarm and dimming the lights: 42 (calories burned)
Fumbling: 4
REMOVING CLOTHES
Fumbling around: 4
POSITIONS
AFFLICTIONS
Leg cramp: 36
ASSORTED ACCIDENTS
Toupee slips off (if your partner knew you wore one): 5
Earth moved: 30
"I am so grateful": 15
TRYING AGAIN
If woman is ready: 5
After sex: 18
SLEEP
Real: 5
In a bath: 5
In a sink: 150
In a jacuzzi: 15,269
With partner still in it: 44 (indicates either a neatness obsession, a severe optic
disorder, or a partner who is very tired).
With you still in it: 97 (suggests extreme withdrawal and profound dissatisfaction)
KEEPING A JOURNAL
Maintaining your own record of sexual activity will be helpful for keeping track of
weight loss. You needn't go into detail, just list the activity and the number of calories
burned.
A typical entry in a woman's journal (for example) for a pleasant low-key sexual
experience might read as follows:
Explaining how: 12
Thanking Harold: 3
Waving bye-bye: 1