The Girlfriend Training Program
The Reference Guide VOLUME 1

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

Introduction: Part 1


Hey, it is Carlos Xuma here, and I want to welcome you to the program. We have got an exciting path ahead of us. This is one of the programs that I have been dying to do for years, but I really just need to hear from you guys that you really wanted to know all these, I guess, you call them un-politically correct things about relationships with women.

The funny thing is that most guys would not admit to it, but almost single day out there we would love to have that one special woman and be able to keep her for as long as you wanted, and thatʼs the big problem with a lot of guys is we donʼt know the skills to keep a relationship like that going.

Well, in this program, we are going to cover from start to finish all of the attraction skills you need to have to make sure that you never lose a woman again. I know this is going to be a exciting for a lot of guys out there. We are also going to be covering things, everything from starting the relationship to keeping her to rejuvenating it to ending it, if we need to. So start to finish, we are going to have all the information in there and only the essential information that you need.

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.


This is one area that I have actually specialized in for a long time and I know it goes against the pickup artist persona, but I actually enjoy and love having long-term relationships with women and it is something that I have actually been able to, I wonʼt say master because I donʼt think anybody ever really masters it, but to the degree that I can actually control and ensure that I am the one thatʼs in control when it comes to the relationship. In other words, I am not the one who is at the mercy of the woman. I am not the one who is going dumped. I am not the person who is being yanked around on a chain all the time, and you are going to see, unfortunately, that most guys out there are.

Most guys are at the whims and mercies of the women in their relationships, and itʼs not the way you want to do it and itʼs not the way the woman wants it either. She does not want to lead the relationship; she wants YOU to lead it.

So we are going to talk about this with everything in there, but again Iʼm just distilling it down to only the cold, hard facts that you need to be successful with a woman, long-term, short-term, whatever it may be, these are the things you need to know.

Iʼm also going to go into a little bit about a guide to understanding women. So that you can understand how a womanʼs psychology works within the context of relationship. Even within your friendships and your family, you are going to understand how women work to a very, very strong degree.

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.


com We are also going to cover cheat-proofing your relationship. which I know is a very big thing for guys. and believe me. how to keep interested and attracted and how to not lose them. as well as how to win her back if you lost her. about how to keep women. not all of them were good. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. but for the last ten years or more. I have been through the gamut of human experience when it comes to relationships with women. LLC. So youʼre going to get this information from somebody who really does understand the dynamics of a relationship with a woman. First of all. my background. I actually had a few women that dumped me. A lot of them were very. I have never had a woman dump or cheat on me and the reason is I have mastered certain skills in relationships that do not allow that to happen. so hang in there for that one. I have had dozens of long-term relationships lasting from several months to several years.www. Early on.CarlosXuma. what is my background with relationships? Well. 3 . very painful. but those were also the relationships that taught me the most about what women really want. So we are going to get started today with a little bit of an introduction. and that one is going to be a little bit controversial.

4 . We are going to talk about that in the section later on as well.CarlosXuma. the fight or flight syndrome. not the realistic for most people. Even men are very irrational when it comes to these things because we are involving a part of our brain that we donʼt really want to admit that we have to. You may recall from previous programs that Iʼve created that there is a three-part model to the brain. your lungs going.com I had many short-term relationships in between as well. but what they fail to recognize is that human beings are irrational. When you get out of a longterm relationship. This is the problem with most of the books you are going to find on the bookshelves at Borders or Barnes & Nobles or any of those places. and that is the emotional side of our brain. the last thing you need to be doing is looking for another long-term relationship. LLC. Yes. and if poke you with a stick. You can go on Amazon. The first part is: • The lizard brain – thatʼs the part of you that keeps your heart pumping. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. It is the small little nugget of brain at the bottom of your brainstem. even you.www. What I found is that most of the self-help literature out there is geared towards the ideal. you either run or you fight. Those are kind of counterpoints to the long-term relationships. emotional creatures. They are all really good books and they tell you a lot of real good principles.

Itʼs a part of your brain that has emotions that allows you to form long-term attachments and feel. you either want to run or you want to fight. why did you do that? Why did you poke me with that damn stick?” Then the rational part of your brain is able to get part of the signal and it says. So the way this works is if I poke you with a stick. Lucky for us. “Oh. Thatʼs the rational thinking part that often comes in conflict with the rest of your brain. • Neocortex – Outside of the emotional brain is neocortex. What are we going to be talking about in the program? © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. you either run or just fight the person that just saved your life. The emotional part of your brain interprets that.CarlosXuma. “Hey. wait a minute. Itʼs like. LLC. weʼve got all three parts of our brain. Thank you. They call this mammalian brain or the limbic brain. you poke with a stick because I was about to accidentally shock myself by touching the electric terminal. thatʼs the next part of your brain that gets the signal and it gets pissed. 5 .www. but as you will see there is a way to leverage the best parts of your brain for each duty that it needs to perform. Thatʼs the intelligent part of your brain. So now what we are going to do is we are going to talk a little bit more about what this program is about. The problem is we donʼt always engage all three.” So you see how that interpretation goes? If you rely only on the basic interpretation.com • Emotional brain – Evolving outside of the lizard brain is your emotional brain.

even if you were thinking about doing it. you are pissed because you didnʼt do it first. you need to be the one to end the relationship. you are going to end up in divorce or conflict or separation and eventually itʼs going to end and thatʼs why you need to know these things. as well as how to win her back in the end if needed. • If you need to. how to understand them and use this understand in your relationships because without an understanding of women you will not survive a long-term relationship.www. and the most obvious reason is that the dumpee always worse than the dumper. So we are going to talk about how to end the relationship if you have to. if she seems like sheʼs starting to lose interest. her leaving you. You are going to get a lot of information here. We are going to talk about that. you want to be able to kick-start that back forward in gear. it is a guide to understanding women. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. • How to restart or revive a relationship. LLC. • You are going to learn how to keep the attraction going long term in the relationship. You are going to learn how to start a relationship. • How to avoid losing her to another guy. A lot of guys are not really savvy to what it takes to go from the dating stage to the long-term stage. if itʼs going a little south on you. otherwise known as yes. There is a lot of really detailed information regarding how women work. Iʼm not kidding you.CarlosXuma. If you stay with her or if you get married. 6 . if itʼs kind of becoming a little bit bland. and believe me. dumping you or cheating on you. You will never feel good being the person that got dumped.com First of all. not her. It simply wonʼt happen for you. thatʼs a very important technique to understand in any relationship.

So what is a relationship in the context of what we are talking about in this program? Relationship is finding one person to explore and bond with for an undefined period of time. It might be weeks, it might be forever, whatever that period of time may be. It is just finding that one person which you want to form a really strong bond with. Thatʼs it, thatʼs all you have to really know.

You can put aside the religious implications of having to get married or living together or any of that stuff. We are just talking about the connection between you and that person because all that other stuff is an outside, an outward trapping, if you will. It doesnʼt really pertain to the real connection you create with that person. Anybody can get married, but it doesnʼt they are in love, and as Iʼm sure youʼve seen in your own life, it sure as hell doesnʼt mean that there is a real connection there.

Now, society is geared towards relationships. Here is the ugly, ugly truth. The ugly truth about relationship is that yes, our society is built around it because we essentially start it out as animals, and as animals we have to reproduce because if we donʼt reproduce our species would die out, our whole evolutionary aspect.

So random hook ups are simply not the baseline for society. Thatʼs why it will be frowned upon. It will not be looked upon as being a positive thing for you to want to be a pickup artist. I donʼt think itʼs bad. I think you need to have those skills early on so you can learn what you want from women,

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.


learn what it is thatʼs going to work for you and be able to get through enough women to find the right one for you, so those skills are necessary.

But letʼs face it, itʼs not the norm for society. So there you go, those are the quick and easy definitions of what a relationship is and how we are going to define it in the context of this program.

You can have your own definitions and this information will still work for you, unbelievably work for you. Now, the principle of truth, this is really important. This goes back to some of the earliest things Iʼve taught about relationships and about dealing with women. It doesnʼt matter if itʼs shortterm pickups and hookups to long-term sex or whatever it is you want. The principle of truth always, always manages to be any equation.

The fact of the matter is that some things just are. There is no reason why, and you maybe tempted very often to ask yourself, “Why is she doing this? Why is it have to be this way? Why, why, why?” The fact is that there is no why. If you fight reality, itʼs simply going to bite you on the ass because it is.

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.


Itʼs like arguing with a thunder and lightning rainstorm. I can say, “Why, oh why is this thunder and lightning happening?” And I can go outside and say, “I refuse to believe it. I refuse to acknowledge it.” And you get struck by lightning and you are killed. Now, itʼs just thinning the herd and that was stupid, but what is it teaching you? You canʼt argue with reality. It doesnʼt matter how much you are fighting against the thunder and lighting, itʼs still will be thunder and lightning and it will still have the potential to hurt you.

I hope this is getting through on some level. What Iʼm saying here is that women are a certain way and that way is different than you, and if you keep asking, “Why they have to be that way? It doesnʼt seem logical. They are so irrational. They are so emotional. Why did she do that? I canʼt believe sheʼs doing that.” And believe me, I still do this from time to time. I still catch myself in this line of thinking of, “Why? Why are women like this? Oh my God.” Because itʼs not my reality, you have to accept it and work with it, WORK WITH IT. Thatʼs the important part.

I come from a martial arts background and I can tell you the most important thing you can learn in the martial arts eventually is not to block somebody or try and stop their punch by hitting them, itʼs to not be there when the punch comes and step aside and let that energy pass by you, and itʼs that skill that will make you successful in relationships.

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.


and the same thing. It sounds kind of poetic and somewhat philosophical. You donʼt see a sculptor that works with clay trying to shape and mold wood. 10 .CarlosXuma. the less success you will have with them. So women will act the way they do as irrational.www. but itʼs very important. As angering as it may be to you. Let me say that again. a woodworker would not try and chisel clay the same way. They know that wood is a different substance. as emotional. We act like we do. We act like we do act. We donʼt act like we should. So you have to treat women differently than you might treat yourself for another guy. They canʼt do it. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. LLC. We donʼt act like we should act. and he doesnʼt treat one like the other. So letʼs get that through our heads and really remind yourself that over and over and over again because it will save you a lot of heartache in the long run because the more you resist the way women are. and you have to really recognize that there is an essential difference there. they will act the way they are going to act and there is nothing you can do about it. You have to deal with it. itʼs very important.com You have to accept and work with it the way that an artist accepts the nature of wood or clay.

We make mistakes. and there is one place that we are more fallible I think than anywhere else and thatʼs in our relationships. LLC. giving and these New-Age-white-light-of-love type concepts. passion. We are fallible. letting go. You could keep expecting that you are going to have as great New Age white light of glow and love about you when you are with a woman. beware of the advice that falls back on vague or poorly understood principles like trust.www. these are all great words. and you should be able to experience this empowering embracing light of love. and itʼs one of the important myths that we are going to bust in this program because by busting this myth. 11 . communication. you are going to be sorely disappointed and disillusioned. but © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. Itʼs simply does not work this way. If you expect that from her. Remember. you are probably going to ruin the relationship you have.com A Few Warnings A few warnings before we get into the deep part of this program. It doesnʼt work this way. We are very fallible. we are human beings. Human beings should be able to be together in bliss and harmony. First of all. They are going to tell you about the way it should be. you are going to be more successful with relationships. the trust. and as a result. Iʼm already getting sick just talking about it.CarlosXuma. the respect. So as far as these concepts go with things like the giving.

Thatʼs the worst thing you can do. LLC. Yes.CarlosXuma. “Yeah. we were looking and Iʼm going. so you are not going to be left going. Now. The one example I want to give you is one that came from a seminar I just performed recently. 12 . and I just want to have that positive impact on her life. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions.” Be very careful about this. What the hell is that?” So beware of the New Age trap. which doesnʼt happen. so be careful about them.” And I remember I was on a stage with somebody else at that time. Itʼs try to think that you can control and save other people from themselves. “How do you end a relationship on good terms with a woman?” And Iʼm using his words here.www. but if you make this your goal with things like leaving a woman feeling good about the fact that you broke up with her. There is a lot of New Agey principles that come into relationships that will give you the idea that you can somehow have this wonderful impact on other people.com they are very vague and they donʼt lead you to any great understanding about how relationships really work. Be careful about New Agey thinking when it comes to relationships. I will use these terms but not vaguely. trust. Iʼm going to give them specifics. This is another big one I had to explain to guys. You canʼt. dude. to some degree you can. “Forget it. and the guys said. Iʼm going to give them more concrete understanding for you. “Because I always want to leave a woman feeling better about herself and being a better person than when I found her.

We are going to talk a little bit more about some of the myths again later on the program. Be careful about these New Age thinking processes. yes. As you go through this phase of being disillusioned and then you become reeducated and then you find new faith in relationships because you now understand how they really work as opposed to that fluffy bullshit speak that most people talk about. The penalty for non-adherence to the principles Iʼm going to teach you is she will eventually cheat on you and then she will leave you.CarlosXuma. That most people out there do not have a freaking clue about how relationships work.com Iʼm sorry. but emotions will be what emotions will be. but I want to really warn you about that. LLC. Trust me on this one. This program will disillusion you in a good way. and trying to do that will actually sabotage you in the long run. wheezy little guys who doesnʼt understand. You will come in with a certain amount of understanding. Itʼs really important. It is really important you understand this that you are going to get disillusioned and it an important part of the growth process when it comes to relationships. Iʼm here to tell you this. It will make you one of those wimpy. 13 . © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. so keep that in mind. Most people. but you will exit the game with a lot of disillusionment and pain. you. It will make you a wreck.www.

you wonʼt screw up like most guys do. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. Women will eventually cheat on you and leave you if you donʼt follow the right principles. The fact of the matter is women cheat just as much as men. 14 . she will eventually cheat on you and she will eventually leave you.com I want you to keep this in your mind. you just know that you never speak of these things in public. If you donʼt follow the principles with what Iʼm teaching you in this program.www. but unfortunately. Discovery Health. So they have maintained a very pristine image. One of the myths out there. They are just damn good at hiding it. itʼs not true. this is one of the ones that was on a popular site. LLC. One of the myths is that it is usually men who initiates divorce proceedings. One of the big myths out there is that women actually are the ones that are pure. Iʼm going to pull over our little screen here so you can see this. and that guys are the ones that cheat. This is something I just pulled up because a lot of guys donʼt believe it until I actually showed it to them. I know this is a painful thing to learn and itʼs also a painful thing to believe. This is a very painful thing for me to tell you. but I had to tell you this. the ones that donʼt cheat.CarlosXuma. but if you use this in your head as motivation. Itʼs like a secret. subversive cult where if you are woman.

CarlosXuma. so I want you to pay attention to them. So we are going to talk about that. Well. and we will get into that.www. The woman does and sheʼs already preparing her exit visa and you are the one left holding the bag. actually holding the bag of money that you have to give to her because you are getting divorced. Some messages are going to repeat in this program. but thatʼs one of the myths. too. Itʼs true and it will come up in certain situations. Dark stuff we are going to be talking about.com The fact of the matter is that two-thirds of all divorces are initiated by women. some understanding of the process of keeping attraction going with a woman and avoiding a lot of the pain that most guys end up © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. the honest to God truth is itʼs because most men donʼt realize the relationship is over until itʼs already over. in most states. yada. 15 . so that part of the process is always going to be left up to you. You have to understand. For example. yada. there is a reason why women initiate most divorces. too. too. how to handle the prospect of marriage in your life. There will never be a substitute for critical thinking. like the principle of truth we will repeat. You are going to hear them over and over and over again. women have a good chance of receiving custody of the children. and I want to emphasize them when they come up. LLC. and they say here that the recent study found that many of the reasons really have to do with the nature of the divorce laws. yada. I can give you some rules.

and I want that part of you to override the emotional brain when itʼs necessary. I get the most out of a program after I listen to it maybe five or six times because you will learn. this is a reference tool. You will apply it in your life. but itʼs up to you to use critical thinking to figure out where you are.com experiencing with women. LLC. Iʼm talking about the outside layer of brain. You should be listening to it on your iPod or your phone or whatever it you are listening to. 2. I find listening to a program three times is a minimum. With audio programs like this on. So how do you get the most out of this program? 1. Whether you are in a relationship or not. you can use this stuff in a lot of different areas in your life. you are not going to be able to practice a lot of the relationship stuff. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. 16 . Iʼm going to provide to you a version of this on MP3. First of all. you need to be listening to it regularly and reminding yourself of it. 3. You will come back to it and you will hear things that youʼve never heard before. The exercises in this program will likely be real life for you. that neocortex logical part of you that can look at things objectively. Use the information you hear and then reflect on your past and current problems that you had and your patterns that youʼve experienced in your life. Come back to it frequently. and thatʼs what is more important.www. In other words. so get to work on using it. You are going to have to use it in real-life situations.CarlosXuma. critical thinking as opposed to emotional thinking.

www. you are going yourself in the context of a long-term relationship than " anywhere else in your life and it will happen frequently for you. Be brutally real with yourself.com " " " You are going to see a lot of truth coming out of that. Past experience. Iʼm not asking you to just take what Iʼm saying on faith. you will suffer when it comes to relationship. talk to guys and find out for yourself if what Iʼm saying is true. because they were never really telling themselves the truth. We are going to be real on this program. Iʼm going to tell you exactly the way it is. too. And in the end. A lot of guys disillusion themselves about relationships and what love is and what they should be. You will find that it is true. you are going to learn a lot about his character. 17 . When a guy is in a bad spot in a relationship. emotionally and spiritually. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. LLC. Iʼm going to repeat " this probably several times in this program. “You will never learn more about " the context of a long-term " to learn more about " yourself than you will in relationship. My favorite " aying that I s created was. I am not going to be assuming it. So thatʼs how you get the most out of this program.CarlosXuma. If you put on the disillusionment goggles. Just be able to separate it from the bullshit that most guys bring up when they have to defend their position. 4. past patterns that you have gone into with women and relationships will tell you a lot about you.” In other words. Talk to men and women who are in relationships. There is no two ways about it. brutally real. what they do is they kill themselves. validate the stuff Iʼm talking about. 5.

You have to understand that all just means most people. There are only grays. but Iʼm going to give you the darkest and lightest shades. Itʼs very simple there. or for whatever reason.CarlosXuma. what I really mean is most of us do this. you need to take care of that with a therapist or possibly a mental health care professional. and if thatʼs the case. I do not have doctorate or a college degree in this area. I am not a therapist. When I say all women do this. or all guys do this. I am not a health professional. you are going to take and you are going to put into application but you may not be accurate in the way that you do it. Whatever reason that may be. especially in the area of relationships. you may screw it up. Yes. and if you try and pick it apart based on the exceptions.com A few disclaimers before we get started with the real meat here. you might not apply it correctly. With some of the stuff Iʼm going to tell you. we will never get anywhere on this program. 18 . the woman is not as responsive to that particular strategy. just recognize one does not make a pattern and there are no black and whites. there will always be exceptions to the rule. • Where there is extreme difficulty in your life. I have taken classes and many. or all women do that. Frankly. I want you to seek help.www. many years of experience but ultimately I am not a health care professional. So if there is something extreme in your life. • All means most. LLC. So even if Iʼm telling you the right thing to do. • Donʼt blame here if something doesnʼt work for you in one situation. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. I canʼt.

LLC. Thatʼs up to you.CarlosXuma. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. Itʼs your critical thinking ability. so just accept that. Apply it correctly. There is nothing but gray area in this area of relationships.com In other words. I will be able to give you the best concrete advice I can and give you the exceptions along the way. I would recommend you do that.www. So donʼt go into this thinking you can just be damn robot and just follow Carlosʼ rules. If you have to even review this part. So there you go. but go into the next section which is Starting Relationships. youʼve got to be smart about it. is going to tell you when a situation meets a certain criteria and needs to be addressed a certain way. 19 . that is a brief introduction to this program. and I wouldnʼt want to. your intelligence. I canʼt take that away from you.

but as well I want to make sure that we cover everything in detail. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. it could be with many women. I will tell you up start relationships. so we are going to move fairly quickly through some of it. front that those are more difficult to maintain. if you are one of those guys that like multiple long-term relationships.www. So we are going to start with. They are exponentially more difficult. there is a lot of materials here. but we will cover a little bit of that as we talk about how to Now.com Section 1: Starting Relationships! I want to cover with you all of the essential ingredients for how to get it from the dating stage into the more extended dating phase where you donʼt have to worry about losing her to some other guy. first of all.CarlosXuma. 20 . So letʼs talk about the pros and cons. and when you are in a certain territory at the start and you want to know how to kick-start it off into a more long term or permanent arrangement. the pros and cons of relationships. This is an important one because a lot of guys donʼt really think about both sides of this before they get themselves hooked up into a situation that they may or may not want to be in. Now. LLC. this could be with one woman.

So stability is one of the big pros for having relationship. just in relationships in terms of different women that you meet. youʼve got to know what different women are like to be able to choose one effectively. and I mean a lot. Youʼve got a stable relationship. and thatʼs an important aspect of relationships I think that every guy gravitates to. not just sexually.” Thatʼs scarcity thinking and that will long term screw you because a lot of guys end up being with only the second or third woman that they sleep with sometimes will be the one that they actually end up marrying. the constant having to go out and meet new women.CarlosXuma. They find a women finally that has some interest in them and they are not going to lose this one because God knows what it will take to earn affections and interest of another woman.com What are the pros of having a relationship? There is stability. a lot of guys. I mean. you feel like you have ground under your © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. meaning about 80-90% of guys will actually get into relationships because they have no other skills. Thatʼs not a good statistic because you need a lot more choices. and the unfortunate thing is a lot of guys get into relationships because they just want to avoid that area that they are just not that good at. “Whew! I managed to get one. There is stability. which is being able to walk up and approach women and meet women. We donʼt want the unstable.www. 21 . LLC. Iʼve got to hold on to her.

Youʼve got a partner. Again. Another pro is the foundation for future growth. by the way. have this urge to “settle down. to take on new things because youʼve got this one home-base of stable emotional roots for you to come back to. A solitary existence is not the way we were meant to be as far as humans.  Itʼs one that I encourage guys to use all the time. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. There is really nothing like that.  Another pro is the connections that you form with another person. You can build a family.com feet. that feeling of sharing your emotions. What a lot of people talk about when they talk about relationships is this need we have to share the pains. but honestly we all. your experience. Itʼs something that a lot of guys I know actually do enjoy the thought of.  A relationship is an awesome place to use as an anchor for you to grow and to experience other parts of life.” and I really donʼt like that term.www. LLC. 22 . the joys and just to share a life with somebody else kind of validates your existence here. by the way. Another pro is you are able to build a family.  Thatʼs a great way to use relationships. You feel much more prepared and able to to take on life.CarlosXuma. but I use it for the sake of familiarity because we want to build a family and build a stable foundation. at some point. with guys we thought of as being the solitary go-out-and-just-bangwomen types. You are able to have a woman and then you can have children with her.

You donʼt need to be in a relationship until you are ready to be in one. tremendous growth. handle incompatibilities and inconsistencies in your relationship. There is somewhat of a natural conspiracy that societyʼs expectation is that you get into a relationship. What are some of the cons? Well. There are a lot of things you are going to learn by virtue of just being there in the relationship. Your personal growth is going to be fueled by your need to get over conflicts. again. They wouldnʼt have worked out a lot of the kinks of understanding how to be with another person. how to be a little bit more selfless instead of selfish. What I was talking about before. very important.com A relationship also facilitates. work things out. I canʼt think of any better way to say it.www. and they are also very. so keep that in mind. you are not going to learn more or grow more than you will in the context of a long-term relationship. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. but itʼs not as much as you might think. So those are some of the pros of being in a relationship. 23 . The unfortunate thing is that they would like you to begin the relationship far earlier than you probably need to. get through the disagreements. LLC. you may expect this list to be huge. A lot of people I know I would probably not be friends with if they hadnʼt gotten married or gotten into a very long-term relationship with somebody because they will be just dicks.CarlosXuma.

no matter what any religion may tell. So recognize that it does work against your sexual nature.www. and the reason being. but underneath all of that is you rapist and itʼs a horrible nasty thing you have to say. “Whatʼs the matter with you. Itʼs just a natural fact of evolutionary biomechanics. 24 . you abuser. Itʼs doesnʼt matter. LLC. yada.CarlosXuma. is evolutionary concept about how we have more diversity in our genes. It is a fact that men are much more built for spreading our seed as opposed to staying with one person. you cheater. how we ensure the survival of our species. yada. you bad man? You dog. you user. and I have my own personal opinions on that but Iʼll keep to myself. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions.” And what is underneath all of that? And this is really a very fine sub-text and itʼs very controversial. You shouldnʼt be with more than one woman. especially at the same time.com Long-term relationships work against your sexual nature as a man. and all that stuff. again. Society again has a little bit of a conspiracy against us in that they present relationships as being a necessary part of our life. You are naturally built to procreate with many women and thatʼs not a bad thing. What I want you to understand is that it just doesnʼt matter. and this is something to be careful of because it can trick you into a relationship you donʼt want to have. but this is what men have to fight every single day in terms of perception. Women will try and make you feel bad about the fact that you have a natural aversion to monogamy. yada. It all comes together in the fact that men are built to procreate with as many different people as possible.

you will have to put in a little bit of energy. You really have to be creative to keep things interesting and to keep her interested. the kind of effort you put in once you understand what effort you need to put in is vastly different than the guys who are just winging it and working their asses off trying to keep a relationship going.CarlosXuma. and this is why I think most guys are the ones who the women initiate a divorce on because the guy is much more reliant and dependent on a relationship than the woman is. 25 . but it wonʼt be as exhausting as it will be for the guys that just donʼt have a clue.com Religions may tell you this as well. Now. trust me. Most things that are created in society are built to control other people. It requires creativity. and again it all forms kind of a subversive control of you and you have to be aware of that. so there is a certain amount of a pecking order built into our world. You are going to have to put in some work. Most of them donʼt have a clue and thatʼs where you are going to do better. Yes. Itʼs also easy to fall into a rut and then rely on your relationship too much. LLC. thatʼs not a surprise to you. did you? Well.www. The fact of the matter is that guys fall into © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. you didnʼt come into this program thinking you are going to be able to just breeze through a relationship and be scot free without having to put any effort in. is it? I mean. This is another one of those cons about relationships that a lot of guys may not to admit that itʼs there.

Iʼm not going to sing any Beatles here. and we can but weʼre not. love. as humans we like to believe that we are rationally in control of our lives. Love is really a biochemical reaction. love. to be in love with. isnʼt it? We want to find a woman to fall in love with.com this rut very easily when they are more solitary.CarlosXuma. so that you are aware that getting into a relationship with a woman is not something you should be taking on whim. this is more evolutionary science for you. maybe more than you want to know. but short term biochemically what happens is when you find a woman that you are attracted to. This is important to understand because. Most people do not control themselves. So what is love? Love is that thing we are looking for out there. We donʼt have the same kind of support systems that women do. you bio-releases chemicals that are literally stronger than © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. especially if she determines it as bad for her.www. to have a loving relationship. and this is again. We want to believe that we can control our thinking and our emotions. again. Love is a biochemical process. love. LLC. but I wanted to point out some of the bigger ones. Love. 26 . There are many other pros and cons here. so itʼs much easier for women to walk out of a relationship. No.

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. Now. By the way. I want to go out and I want to be with this woman.com crack cocaine. itʼs Natureʼs way of bonding you to her. 27 . but itʼs real. “What has come over me? Whatʼs going on? I donʼt want to stay home and play the PlayStation anymore. LLC. crack cocaine is intense in its effects and itʼs very devastating.CarlosXuma. for those of you that arenʼt druggies. so that you will stick with her long enough for her to have a successful procreation. and I can recommend a few to you. Itʼs an incredible experience and itʼs one that you donʼt want to end. Long term what happens in a relationship is it turns into more like a heroine addiction. Iʼm not a druggie.www. It sounds kind of clinical. Iʼm sure you have experienced this. and thatʼs the part that starts the addiction because after a little while of this. Long term. have a kid and you will be around to provide for it.” Well. this is all stuff you can look up readily. whether itʼs online or getting a good book about it. For those of you that may not be familiar with how this works. It gives you that high. You want to be with this woman. those feelings change and they change subtly and the chemicals in your brain actually change subtly from the endorphins and the dopamine and all things that get released. I have. that sense of euphoria that is like nothing else. you no longer want to be alone. scientific.

You are not logically in control of this stuff. Thatʼs the long-term effect. sex with one woman for the rest of my life? Are you out of your mind?” Can you get the idea now on how your brain has to trick you a little bit? Itʼs a mating imperative.www. you go through intense withdrawal. So biochemically thatʼs what love is. Heroine. LLC. this is awful. Itʼs an emotional response but itʼs also a chemical response that you are not aware of. What will happen later on is if heʼs been in a relationship or marriage with a woman for several years and then she leaves him or they break up for whatever reason. and I know this can be disillusionment for a lot of guys out there. Most of those are biochemical reactions in his head.” He feels the devastating impact. but thatʼs the reality of whatʼs going on in your brain. he feels it and he doesnʼt even realized it until heʼs out of it. 28 .com Itʼs very powerful.CarlosXuma. Your rational mind would probably tell you. but when that feeling or that drug is removed. and itʼs the same thing. “Wow! This is fantastic. Basically it makes it possible for us to create kids and force you to stick with them long enough that something positive might come out of the whole affair.” Because it does change. on the other hand. “Oh my God. it loses a little bit of that. is a much more slow burn. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. It makes you feel good kind of on a consistent level to a certain degree. “What? You want me to stay with one woman. Heʼs like. A guy can be in a relationship with a woman and not feel those highs of really being.

Itʼs sometimes called love addiction because we do get addicted with that rush. right? Well. Itʼs hard to explain. You have to be a realist up front. You are hot for each other. LLC. You want that rush. you are going to be in trouble.com Why is it so damn hard to stop the downhill slide. you need to be in control. You are having this wild. so that you donʼt get screwed so that women donʼt leave you or cheat on you or cause any of the immense amount of pain that they can cause for you.www. So we are going to lose a little bit of the romantic shine in this program because I need you to see through to what love and relationships are really about. that would get addicted to the feeling of being addicted to a woman. The most important buying decision of your life is the woman that you choose to be with. it is literally an addiction process in your brain. Itʼs a biochemical thing. In other words. the most important buying © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. Lose a little bit of this romantic aspect. You need to be holding the reins on this poppy. and I was one for a short time. so that you can risk letting go later on.CarlosXuma. crazy monkey sex and it just feels great. you want that jolt of energy and motivation you get from having a woman thatʼs interested in you and you are interested in her. right when those chemicals are hitting you like crack cocaine. Well. this falling in love. but you just want this feeling. and if you are not. ultimately that becomes an addiction itself. You become addicted to that feeling and itʼs not easy to see why. 29 . There are people out there. Let me say that again.

Letʼs talk about structure. Thatʼs what we are talking about here. I know that approaching women is the number one topic for most guys. had been covered in almost all of my other programs. the Big Keep. but a lot of the keep. but here is the sad fact. Itʼs very. Connect. Structure of Relationship Now. Trust me on this one. the latter part of it. The find and connect part. approaching women gets you nowhere if you canʼt keep her. I created this model called ʻFind.com decision you are going to make in your life is the woman that you are going to be with over the long term because she will either enable a wonderful life or she will cause you crushing misery. so choose wisely. letʼs move on to the next part here. I am not going to talk about approaching women. LLC. What we will be talking about in this program is a little bit of the connect. What is the structure of relationships? Well.CarlosXuma.www. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. I work within my own model here. very important. and Keepʼ. We will not going to go into detail here. 30 . I am going to give you specific criteria that you need to look for in a woman. for the most part. Iʼve got some guest speakers on this topic as well and we are going to talk about specific things you are going to be looking and specific things you need to avoid.

com So. we cannot control another human being. thatʼs the structure of a relationship. itʼs finding a woman that you can connect with. It will happen and eventually you are going to wonder. my friend. if something happens.www. There is only ʻuntil it serves youʼ. but the ultimate truth is. cannot control that. LLC. Well. The reality is that a woman can leave you at any time for any reason and you. Itʼs another romantic concept we have to let go of.CarlosXuma. if. The guiding principles of relationships and starting relationships that I want you to follow: • Remember that there is no such thing as forever when it comes to relationships. or ʻit does not serve youʼ. connecting with her and then learning the skills to keep her over the long term. Iʼm creating the craziest shit here. There is no security in a relationship. but you know what happens. you are going to be in a bad and troubled boat. You are going to learn how to control to a certain degree in this program. donʼt become dependent on the relationship to keep you afloat. “What the hell happened?” Well. 31 . if. So donʼt think in terms of forever when it comes to relationships. not or her and they are not forever. If you do. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. most men canʼt control it. You stay in the relationship for as long as it benefits you AND HER. • Donʼt become dependent on the “security” of a relationship. Thatʼs the fact of the matter. Something wild can happen and her wires might get fried and she decides she wants to go off to Bolivia to live with some woman and she has been a closet lesbian most of her life. if.

The pattern is very frequent with guys and we have to avoid it.” And she packs her bags and trucks on out that door. so he takes what he can get. How men become destroyed by divorce? Well. and eventually she says. 32 . I donʼt want you to be the one running around on the deck looking for a life boat when there are none. if it happens to you and I donʼt want you to be there. again. I need to find myself. More than two-thirds of divorces are initiated by women. I need to be free. mostly because he does not know how maybe to get the woman he really wants. “I donʼt know if this is working out. Men are destroyed by divorce more than women because men have fewer support systems. even if it is good for him. They have less coping skills with those sorts of things. He settles and then he fails to put in the effort and the energy. something that should never happen to you when you learn whatʼs going to covered here. he thinks things are going along great. they are much more capable at managing them and handling them than the men are. he doesnʼt understand how to handle it when he has to go back to withdrawal.CarlosXuma. There is this pattern that men fall into. much more capable. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. So watch out for the pattern. Iʼll give you a statistic. and Iʼm not go into detail here.www. Women are much.com " " " I think the boatʼs name is Titanic. Thatʼs. LLC. So when a guy goes into that heroine addiction phase of relationships. but the pattern is basically where a guy letʼs himself fall into a relationship mostly for the security. The woman becomes more disillusioned and before he knows it. Even though they show a lot of emotions.

in general. hey.” It will happen naturally on its own. I want to date you long term.” No. that sucks. Itʼs very important to understand. congratulations. “Hey. then chances are youʼve got a relationship because there is emotional bonding that has happened there.com When the relationship actually starts? Well. I want to have a long-term relationship with you. if you are still dating a woman after two months and there is forward movement. In most cases. so that is a good easy criteria for you to ask when you want to know. my friend. If you are wondering if you have a relationship. Once they find a woman thatʼs pretty cool and there are no big red flags. with some distinct pain. you want to keep this thing moving forward. “Hey. whether you wanted it or not.” whatever you want to say. ask if she or you would be hurt if it ended right now.www. why should a relationship not be needed to be declared? You donʼt need to be the guy that says. You donʼt have to say. youʼve got yourself a relationship. I mean some pain. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. then you probably have a relationship going. a relationship does not need to be declared by you. “Oh. “Letʼs have a relationship. What do I mean by that? Well. If things are still progressing after two months and you are dating her and you are seeing her regularly. If there will be a good amount of hurt there and I donʼt mean just. you do. 33 . guys do want it. am I in a relationship?” Thatʼs the one. well.CarlosXuma. LLC.

You do not need the relationship. not because you are afraid of the pain of being alone or having to find another woman or any of that crap. You control it.com In fact. if you are taking notes which should be in this program. You donʼt have to feel like. Think about it between now and then. The most important attitude in a relationship is that you choose a relationship you do not need it. but itʼs really important. Sheʼll do. 34 . Another one you should be writing down. Donʼt let it happen to you.” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. You are going to learn exactly what it is you want in a woman so that you never have settle.www. and we will talk about more why in a bit. but you donʼt need to do it. Just know that you donʼt. Recognize that you stay because you want her. you donʼt want to be the one to say it. Iʼm going to cover the reasons why in a little bit. by the way. “Oh. not because you are afraid of the pain of not wanting or not having her. sheʼs okay. LLC. Another attitudinal aspect to understand is you donʼt want to settle below your standards. You stay because you want her. I donʼt want to tell you yet. Why is it that you donʼt need to be the one that declares or establishes a relationship with you and this woman you are with? We are going to talk about that.CarlosXuma. This is another common trap that we fall into. Letʼs talk about the most important attitude. We are going to establish some standards for you in this program. you choose the relationship.

grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. I guess thatʼs the originator of this and there is © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. It sounds kind of odd to say it that way. but you choose to stay anyways because you really do want her and you want this relationship. it would be a little difficult. You donʼt have a woman that is somebody you are just settling for thatʼs below what you want. it will cause you some pain. you may have heard this.www. “I do.” And you donʼt want to have that happen. and the bride is saying.” And the groom is saying. 35 . but if you could do that and still decide you want to stay. Let me read it literally here. “Sheʼll do. If there is a part of you that could walk away and deal with the fact that you are leaving a relationship behind. There is this thing called the Serenity Prayer. Yes. walking away from it. but it really is true.” This actually comes from somebody named Reinhold Neibuhr. Iʼll put it up. you are in the right place for a relationship because you are not going to be tempted by a lot of things you would be tempted by otherwise and you wonʼt be drawn into any of the traps and disillusionments. and wisdom to know the difference.com This is a tee-shirt that my friend Adam designed and on the front is a bride and a groom. If you could find yourself leaving this relationship willingly.CarlosXuma. LLC. then you are probably in the right zone for a relationship. courage to change the things I can. “God.

com more to it actually.www. but you canʼt change them. but you can lead them in the right direction. You can help them get there. and I want to see if we can do that together as a team?” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. You do need to know that there are certain things you cannot change. My friend explained to me how he handles relationships. “You know what. So keep that in mind in your relationships. 36 .  You wanted her to keep the house clean. There is a three-step method.  Number one is to explain what it is you want. not directly. knowing what you can and canʼt change. honey?  Iʼd like to really keep this house clean. You really canʼt change a person. but that first part of it. So shape by example.CarlosXuma. LLC. • Explain what it is you want. Itʼs a very powerful formula if you will and you can use this at any point in a relationship. maybe you are a guy like me and you like a clean house. I want to share this with you. There are certain things you can change and you have to have the ability or belief in yourself and the courage to be able to do it. It is used frequently because itʼs actually really important. and knowing the difference between the two is probably the wisest aspect of any man.  Tell her what your expectations are. itʼs called the Serenity prayer. Itʼs more of a religious prayer.  If there is an area of conflict or tension in a relationship like sheʼs not cleaning the house like you want her to.

” That doesnʼt work quite as well as this does. Reward what she does when she does what you want. the punishment that you are throwing behind them. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. “If you donʼt clean this house. “Honey. It makes me so much happier that we can do that together. She is just going to do it out of spite. LLC. 37 .CarlosXuma.com • Demonstrate by doing it.” Boom! Thatʼs the three-step method. Itʼs just not words. I mean the stick that you hit them with. • Award her when she actually does what it is you want her to do. just because she can. By the stick. • • • Explain what you want and what your expectations are. you recognize it. When she cleans the house. so she sees it in action. review these three steps. You cannot motivate somebody consistently with a stick. you are going to find that we removed a lot of conflict and tension and you will motivate her correctly. If you use this in every area of your relationship. awesome! Iʼm glad you are helping me out keeping this place clean. Demonstrate what it is by doing it. You do it and you show her exactly what it is you do. so that she sees it in action.www. and you donʼt want to set up that kind of atmosphere. damn it. so you say. Remember. punitive measures create this atmosphere of resentment where they wonʼt want to help you out. Iʼm leaving. They wonʼt want to work with you on anything. She sees you doing it. So itʼs really important. Always recognize something if you want her to repeat.

Thatʼs really important.CarlosXuma. for the relationship itself. So there you go. these things we do to punish somebody for not doing what we want. Itʼs an awesome powerful method. not because you are so tied up in the emotions or that you are afraid of losing the relationship. 38 . © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. they donʼt work. This is really the method for getting somebody to change or to go in the direction you want them to go in.www. LLC. You are there because you want to be. Remember that.com Remember that punitive measures. that is a little bit about the important attitude in a relationship and that most important attitude again is that you are choosing to be in a relationship for your own reasons.

obviously do it later on.www. youʼll get some understanding on enlightenment. An active exercise I want you to take. Weʼre going to talk about discovering your own needs next. if youʼre listening to this in your car. you should be stopping the program. and Iʼll tell you. yes. it was really an eye opener for me because I discovered how it is I really felt about relationships. welcome back.CarlosXuma. pausing. LLC. I want you to get out your journal. If you are just going straight through from start to finish. I did this early on.com Hi. Number one is I want you to list all of your attitudes about relationships that you have right now. List all of them out. 39 . • • • • • • • • What it is I really felt about them? What do you think works? What do you think doesnʼt work in a relationship? What it is you think you want? What it is you donʼt think you want in a relationship? What are your attitudes about relationships in general? What relationships have you experienced? What relationships have you seen like between your parents? © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. but the real enlightenment comes from doing the things that I tell you to do throughout the course of the program. and whether you do it now. This is going to be another active area participation on your part because weʼre going to figure out what it is you really need here. If youʼre watching this right now.

A really big one is your parentʼs relationship because it will shape and mold the way you treat your own.

So list your attitudes about relationships. Everything you can think of. I mean Iʼm leaving this wide open for you primarily because itʼs kind of a therapeutic tool. Itʼs like me asking you, “So tell me how you feel about relationships.” And then you just start to blabber around at the mouth about how you feel about them. Youʼre going to have more insights just by hearing yourself talk or writing it down than you will any other way I can possibly tell you about, so list those attitudes. Youʼre going to find ones that will make you go, "Huh, they really feel that way about relationships?"

And you might find that youʼre in a place right now where you know that there are some things about relationships you need to get over. One of the ones that I figured out from my own list of attitudes was I had the attitude of, “Well, the woman is in control.” And I thought to myself, “Whoa! Dude, that sucks." I donʼt honestly think I want to get into a relationship where I believe that, but itʼs what I do believe, so no wonder Iʼm having so much problems or so many problems in the relationships I have. It is because Iʼve been having this misplaced belief that woman are the ones in control. I need to get that control back before I get into another relationship. Do you see how it goes? So list your attitudes about relationships.

List your conflicting emotions and be aware of them because we do have conflicting emotions. At one hand, weʼre attracted to woman.

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.


We love women. On the other hand, we may resent the amount of sexual control that they hold. We may resent the fact that maybe a past girlfriend wielded that control over sex to manipulate the relationship. We may also resent the fact that women are more emotional as men and we donʼt have the skills or the patience sometimes to deal with them.

List the conflicting emotions that you have about it, the ones that works against your ability to put in the effort for a relationship. Be aware of these along the way. The more aware you are, and this is a big part of relationship success, by the way, is knowing how you are and how your own identity gets in the way, because thatʼs really what a relationship does.

When we get into a conflict, what we are talking about are two separate identities that are clashing. I have beliefs. She has beliefs. Sometimes they donʼt match, so weʼre trying to put this puzzle together and it wonʼt go together like two pieces that wonʼt quite fit. But they do fit if you turn them a little bit. Weʼre just avoiding some of the interfacing between our belief systems, our prejudices, whatever.

Those conflicting areas have to be at least resolved and by understanding yourself, youʼll be way ahead of the game when it comes to resolving conflicts. Because let me tell you, conflicts are going to happen in a relationship no matter what you do. If you have the skills though to manage them, and this is something I worked really hard on and Iʼve got a really clear cut set of skills that Iʼm going to teach you, when you learn

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.


these skills I will teach you in handling conflicts and handling arguments and how to get past them with women, youʼre going to find your life is so much easier. Not just with women even, with everybody, because the same things happen in arguments with friends, your family, the people you work with, itʼs all the same. There is a little bit more emotional content when it comes to a relationship.

List your past patterns regarding relationships. What are the things that happen to you typically in relationships? Now, if you havenʼt had a lot of relationships, itʼs okay. Break down what you have experienced, but for the most part, what are your past patterns and how will you mange this when it comes up again, because it will.

If you know that after three months, youʼre going to get tired of a woman, what are you going to do to maintain that relationship? Now, what do you want long term? Have you figured out the patterns youʼve got in your past that may eventually come up and probably will come up, how are you going to deal with those? Well, the best thing to think of is what is it you want, long term in a relationship? You have to have two lists. You have to have your must-haves and you have to have your nice-to-haves.

Your must haves are the things you absolutely think you have to have in a relationship or itʼs not going to work for you.

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.


and then you date many women. There are some universal must haves which every relationship needs. you can move it from must-have to nice-to-have. LLC. the skills that I teach you is in terms of attraction and the ability to meet and be with many women. or even take it off your list entirely. Iʼm pretty wide open myself when it comes to music. And youʼre going to change this list because you have a frame of comparison. but honestly no. “Well. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. You must have a common interest in movies. it would be nice if she was interested in the same kind of books that I read. 43 .CarlosXuma. "You know what? I thought it was important if she had the same kind of taste that I did in music. Thatʼs the frame of comparison. These are things that are important to certain people and you must have. The things we would like to have but maybe arenʼt necessary to keep a relationship going.” Great. You start out with this list. It doesnʼt really matter to me. You must have the ability to eat good food together. date a lot of women. so Iʼd be more amenable to listening to her music than other way around. You must have fun. And youʼre going to have an idea of.com • • • • You must have sex. And then there are some nice-to-haves. This usually fall into common interest categories like.www.” Youʼve got to recognize that thereʼs a difference there.

and thatʼs way I am. You may want to be.www. it goes right along that saying.” So you may become unglued from some of your own needs or your own desires as you get older or just wiser or more experienced. So letʼs get then into the next. please. yes. Your needs will change. and never say never because it will change. None. nothing is guaranteed in a relationship. you can never be completely secure that this person is going to be with you. “Do you know what? Itʼs not that big deal. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. “You know what? Iʼm lightening up a little bit. can you be comfortable in this whole uncertainty that youʼre going to have over relationships? Because the fact that matter is that all relationships come without a guarantee. Iʼm asking the rest of you right now.CarlosXuma.com But you donʼt figure this out until you have a relationship to figure it out in.” Never say always. there are no relationships that are guaranteed. You can never be. And.” I think most guys get that way when they finally realized. 44 . LLC. Iʼm not such a hard ass about this or that. Your list will evolve. “Never say never. absolutely none. Your needs will evolve and your understanding will evolve for the rest of your life. Ultimately. In other words. It will evolve. and youʼll discover that. you. If you think what you want now is seven stone and will never change. but when you fall back on that reliance thatʼs you usually when things start going south. can you be uncomfortable with the uncertainty of relationships as part of your needs? Can you yourself.

www.com You must always be an independent entity of a man. You got to get rid of that insecurity. my friend. This is a lot better than the other way around. You can never control another person. your insecurities will make that relationship almost intolerable. you can choose the right person up front. thatʼs great. You must be a survivor. recognize that relationships do not cure anything. no relationship comes with a guarantee. Trust me. LLC. If you have to have this woman waiting for the rest of your life because thatʼs what your emotions tell you and thatʼs what your insecurity tells you. You canʼt control another person. as they say. you donʼt get into a relationship to make you feel better about yourself because youʼre an insecure person. Whatever relationship you get is going to have to be temporary. maybe. If you have a critical eye. Again. youʼre going to have a lot more problems in a long run. In other words. Relationships should also not be a crutch for your own insecurities. You can only choose them with a critical eye. youʼre going to be fine. but you donʼt have to change them later on. 45 . If anything.CarlosXuma. If you choose a woman hoping to change her into what you want. you are in for a world of hurt or opening a hurt locker. You must always have the ability to go on and carry on no matter what happens to you in life. Youʼve got to realize that no matter what. no. If you can deal with that. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. And to be a survivor you must realize that maybe this woman wonʼt be with you for the rest of your life. It doesnʼt work that way.

youʼre going to have a lot of issues and insecurities that are going to come up within the relationship. Itʼs not real. One person plus one person means you have two people and it also creates a third entity which is this relationship thing when they come together. But again. whole and secure people. and this is my math. If you donʼt come into a relationship whole. itʼs only myth. Donʼt think that they are going to be the life boat to save you from your own problems or your own insecurities. Theyʼre not meant to fix another part of your life. you know. It sounds like one of those clever New Agey things out of a book. LLC. And you donʼt want have to work them out that way. But you should still be separate individual. So there you go. One plus one makes three and this is my addition. 46 . or your own issues in life. the new math of relationships. isnʼt it? But itʼs true. and thatʼs a grand romantic concept. Can you be certain or comfortable in the uncertainty of relationships because all relationships are uncertain.CarlosXuma. Donʼt think they are saving grace. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. youʼre not going to have a whole relationship.www. There is a saying.com They donʼt solve anything. They wonʼt do it. If you come in not whole. one plus one makes one in a relationship with one person plus one person makes one person. But do you know what? They can also work for you too.

by the way. But for now. one forgotten pill. She has to have good communications skills. if that could happen so easily. and youʼre a dad.com So discovering your needs. these are must-haves. and believe me. Choosing well. • • She should be a nurturer. believe me. Iʼm going to cover one of the bonuses on this program. let me tell you. What do I mean by that? You want to screen first the person. but itʼs there. Is this the woman that you would want to have as the mother of your children? Seriously ask yourself that question because thatʼs the most important relationship that any child has is with his mother or her mother and not to put down what dads do. LLC. Sheʼs got to be able to tell you whatʼs going on in her life. I want to cover this again. Trust me. too.www. So what do you screen for? She should be a nurturer.CarlosXuma. They are non-negotiables. First of all. man. that happen. 47 . a nurturing personality. Not keep it to some cryptic. These are concrete things. All takes is one broken river. and it can. it is a very distinct relationship. especially if she works to engineer that situation. enigmatic. it can happen way easily. The woman that you chose in your life. letʼs talk about how to choose a woman well and this is a big topic. so you should be writing these down. These are things you need to look for. weird thing thatʼs going on only in her head and not be © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. youʼve got to be willing to live with the repercussions. the woman that will be a good mother to your children because ultimately thatʼs what she could be. Now. screen for a good mother material.

itʼs going to be tough. not because sheʼs just following along. Just as many men. too. Is she cleaning? Is she keeping up with things? Is she a responsible person? Can she handle the necessary day-to-day responsibilities of living? Or is she just another whacked-out teenager in a womanʼs body? Because trust me. and letʼs just say she did have your child. by the way. This is maybe way more commitment than you are willing to make at this point. Sheʼs got to be able to communicate with you. this is only one thatʼs could be overcome. Without communications. If you were to go away for a week and you came back. there are a lot of women like this. 48 . itʼs the responsibility level that she has. • She has goals. Youʼve got to be able to trust her on © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions.CarlosXuma. So this is another key criteria. and itʼs what she genuinely wants. Iʼm getting way out in the future here.com able to get it over to you so that you can help her with it. And as long as you provide that direction. you will not be able to handle a relationship. If she wants to go along with it. We are screening for a good mother material after all. Iʼve seen a lot of guys do it. LLC.www. If sheʼs completely floating out there with no idea. Youʼre going to find that she could fall onto anything. She has a clear idea of the future. a lot of women. just as many women have failed to grow up as anybody else. Is she going to be a responsible? And then you are going to come back and find the house a wreck. but letʼs just say it because itʼs important to understand. And you can provide her those goals and a path. thatʼs great. if you provide that direction. • She should be responsible. at least some idea where sheʼs going on life.

Sheʼs got to be loyal to you.com a certain level to be responsible for herself. Loyalty is what youʼre looking for because you donʼt want a woman thatʼs going to bale or jump ship at the first opportunity. or is she going to be one of those whacked-out women that look for relief and just about every other thing in her life? Is she going to look for her sanity in something else. thatʼs what itʼs all about. or is she got to find it within herself? Itʼs pretty important. can she cope. LLC. • And above all. Save yourself months and years. 49 . Attracting the right kind woman up front. there are a lot of them. the specific poison women you need to avoid.www. that are some of the key criteria that youʼre looking for when youʼre screening for good mother material. and trust me. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. is she loyal? Does she stick with you? Does she follow through on what she says? Does she have character? I mean thatʼs another part of this. So. for her child. Loyalty and her character.CarlosXuma. Iʼm going to tell you about specific ones you needed to avoid. time and energy by avoiding the poisonous woman that are out there. for you. Can you see how this goes? • Is she cool under stress or does she freaks out? Does she lose it? Does she have her own level of emotional control and ability to talk herself down and cope? Thatʼs what really this comes down to.

Thatʼs right. the chemical starts getting released and youʼre thinking is distorted. Maybe she doesnʼt want kids or she tries to hide the fact that she does or doesnʼt want kids. and youʼve got to look at that. • If she doesnʼt have good self-preservation mechanism. but this criteria. all relationship problems and breakups stem from choosing the wrong woman at the start. and again. pretty much all relationships. so she may hide it. You start having sex. 50 . because theyʼre embarrassed about it. • Is she self-destructive? • Is she a party girl or she just canʼt seem to control herself and she winds up with her head face down in the toilet half the time. Beware of that.www. Let me say that again. But if she doesnʼt want kids. Here are some bad indicators to watch out for. that is kind of a bad mom indicator. It happens.com All relationship problems and breakups stem from choosing a wrong woman at the start. Itʼs a common known thing that women want kids. you will be brainwashed by that thing. Most women want kids. from choosing poorly. This is a kind of a younger thing. Weʼve talked about the good mother material. you canʼt control that and then youʼre going to have tough time with kids. Thatʼs why itʼs so important to get this criteria down pat now while you still can while your mind is clear before those beautiful boobies and nice jiggly ass get you all caught up in it. remember all means most. by the way. you can see it later on in life too. Here are some bad mom indicators.CarlosXuma. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. and she might be afraid that that fact will scare you off. LLC. Some women will hide the fact.

but women. And if she doesnʼt have that nature and she only nurtures herself. • Sheʼs a gold-digger. I mean appearance is really important. • Is she selfish? You canʼt have that. Sorry. not a good sign. youʼve got to ask yourself why. At the same time. Bob. donʼt get me wrong on that. Sheʼs materialistic. my friend. In women. so if she doesnʼt. But for the most part.com • If itʼs a real indication that she doesnʼt want kids and sheʼs not young and sheʼs not in her teens or early 20s or any of that and sheʼs getting a little bit up there and she still doesnʼt want kids. LLC. Have you ever seen those older women who are dressing way too young? Theyʼre obsessed with their youth and vanity thinking that their appearance is all theyʼve got. we talk it down but theyʼre really is important. obsessing with it. do I want kids? Maybe I donʼt. I think sometimes itʼs actually.CarlosXuma. most women want kids. I mean you can ask yourself that question. thatʼs going to be a bad indicator and bodes poorly for your relationship. And what do you think sheʼs going to do for you? Do you think sheʼs going to be asking you if you want a massage or if sheʼs going to dote on you? If she just going to give you attention that you need or your kids? • Is she obsessed with youth and vanity? I see this on a lot in women. itʼs particularly destructive to a relationship because a womanʼs nature is to nurture. sheʼs selfish. well. If sheʼs a goal-digger and she is purely into materialism. Maybe I do want a woman that doesnʼt want kids. This is a bad. In which case that becomes okay. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. 51 .www.

but you can also tell when sheʼs not a nurturer. Why do you think women get off and watching men fight in the ring? Thatʼs just as much a turn on for women as anything else. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. The overall nurturing aspect you want to have. Sheʼs going to be picking at you. And if you see any of these. I wouldnʼt want her on my kids. Women socially are cultured to be non-confrontational.com • Sheʼs not a nurturer or impatient and poorly tempered. take a good close hard look at it and see it for what it is. THE BAD. Sheʼs going to be a nagger. Women do have violent tendencies of their own. but they do have the ability to be violent.www. So there you go. It just comes out in some very sneaky and passive ways at times. Watch out. Just bad indicators over all and imagine what the kids are going to turn out like after that. You could be looking at a possible woman that either is going to start spousal abuse or God knows what else because it really gets complicated after that point. thatʼs something to watch out for. • Violent tendencies. They kind of like carelessly live through that kind of conflict. Maybe sheʼs neurotic. I talked about this actually before. LLC. the bad ones. You donʼt know how her anger and violence will come out.CarlosXuma. Not good again. So if she has an overly violent tendency. Sheʼs going to drive your nuts. Sheʼs going to drive you crazy. Those are some of the bad mom indicators to watch out for. But if she is impatient and doesnʼt have a good temper. Youʼre going to see this in women too. non-violent. 52 . She is a perfectionist or critical.

Because once that emotional mind kicks in and you become reluctant to let her go. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. 53 . the emotional part. really disturbing.www. before itʼs too late. what you really need to look for in a woman and the process of screening her so that you can choose her well. Weʼre going to talk about Compatibility Elements. what Iʼm trying to do is give you some power of your intelligent mind to control the rest of your mind. We will be in the next section. things get really.com Again. LLC.CarlosXuma.

I think a lot of guys have a problem understanding whatʼs real compatibility is in a relationship. Youʼre going to have a lot of problems. letʼs talk about compatibility elements. Real compatibility is often very different than what we tend to think of when we think of being compatible with another person. 54 . and the primary reason is that it is such an important part of essential femininity that without it. She must have this. hear what youʼre saying. so that you donʼt have constant struggle and strife because what weʼre talking about is no drama. She should listen to you. If a woman who is not a nurturing personality type. Being compatible means youʼre with the person. hereʼs what you must have in terms of compatibility. even women really struggle with this one. constant argument. youʼre going to have problems. what real compatibility is anyway is being with the right person for you thatʼs going to compliment you in the right way. We as guys donʼt want constant drama. I talked about some of these before but these are slightly different. Listen to you not through you. that one has got come up again and again and again. Listening to you is something that is really © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. all that BS that makes relationships a pain in the ass to keep that makes you want to go into a new one or get out of the one youʼre in. So she has got to be a nurturer. the nurturer. In other words. bickering and fighting. the concept is sound. LLC. not so that you feel like when sheʼs listening. sheʼs not truly a woman in a lot of ways. These are the elements that are really important in a relationship and we are often disillusioned about what they really are. Overall. Well.www. sheʼs waiting for her chance to speak.CarlosXuma. Nurturer First of all.com Compatibility Elements Now.

and you needed to do the same thing for her. Do you see how important that is? Sheʼs not in need of exerting her own personality. we all have these peculiarities. She should get you and by “getting. She doesnʼt make a big deal out of it. you want everything lined-up neatly with your motor oil next to your coolant.www. Maybe you are the kind of guy.” what I mean is that she understands you on a fundamental level. so she understands the way you are about things. and you should be able to do it again the same thing for her. and every guy does. and it is for almost single woman.CarlosXuma. She has to take in what you are saying. processes it and thinks about it. “Oh. next to your windshield wiper fluid. process it. who has. and thatʼs like your one little weird thing. A woman who gets you knows how to compliment the parts of you that are not like her. 55 . by the way. complain and nag. LLC. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. she is really hearing you. feed it back to you in a way that makes you believe that yes. They got us. and thatʼs how we define listening. She knows your personality quirks. She doesnʼt whine. This should be tops on her list. She is just accommodating the way you are. next to your cleaning products.com important. and you want them in that order. and maybe she gets that and she understands it and she doesnʼt fight it. why do you have to have it that way?” She doesnʼt do that. She does not have to prove herself in a relationship. and then has the intelligence to be able to feed it back to us so that we know they got it. Like on a shelf on a garage. It is that the other person actually takes in what we say. She gets you and she works with it. and she works with them not against them.

women do not need to be. It is just not in their make up. feeling secure about herself. They are sometimes conflicting internally that true security in a woman is very often hard to find. do you know what happens? There is a lot of screaming. LLC. Our responsibility is to be strong enough for her and ourselves. Most people go through life trying to cover up their weaknesses. So what we see as security. and whenever they do get bumped into you by mistake. That is a job of a man. and we also keep up the other personʼs confidence. We keep things just whole as far as relationship is concerned. Self-Aware Self-aware is another big important capability and definitely a compatibility element because being aware of yourself and knowing how you are. So your confidence also has to be strong enough for both of you. and being willing to admit them is such an important thing.CarlosXuma. you are going to have to be strong enough for the two of you. They are so emotional. trying to pretend they are not there. Thatʼs right. Their definition probably differs slightly. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. 56 . We keep it together. Men need to be.com Relatively Secure I have to think long and hard with how I want to phrase that. Women by nature are not secure people. trying to make sure you do not see them. at least not by our definition. I was just going to say security. and you have to be willing to understand that pretty much for the life of the relationship. they are kind of like walking through a dark room and stabbing your toe.www. what your own weaknesses are. it would not happen. you are never going to get that in any great amount in a woman.

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. Anger You cannot afford to have a woman that is angered all the time. and those defense mechanisms will keep you from true intimacy. You need a minimum of anxiety. Men have a way of kind of demonstrating our anger and our frustrations and our weaknesses as men. Her anxiety will cost you anxiety and pain and ulcers and stress. you want a woman that is relaxed. same thing happens when you run into or stab your toe on the way another person is when they are not willing to admit it. but it will keep you from true connection with her overall.com Well. We learn as we mature how to control that. Women are by nature much more emotionally complex. and she has not figure out coping mechanisms to deal with it. They come out in terms of sometimes violence. She is angry about this. They are much more complex in terms of their emotional life. You see. That is what anxiety indicates really. using one of those New Agey terms. That is just going to cost you much more problems than you need. about that.CarlosXuma. 57 . That is where you run into really strong defense mechanisms.www. but the anxiety that is related to that life shows that she has not quite come to grips with her own nature. but the reality is that you do not want a woman that has a lot of anxiety. What you must not have in terms of compatibility. LLC. She does not understand her own emotional nature. I am trying to state this in positive terms. sometimes just anger in our explosive tempers and our inability to control our emotions. women have their own compensations. In other words. as if you didnʼt know that one. again. and youʼve got to watch out for it because it will creep up and take you in the ass on a regular basis in a relationship.

me. and they do whatʼs known as sublimate. she wants to fight with you over everything. they turn it into something else. but my lips?” She is a freak. “Oh. salivating to have her big wedding. The types of women that you can run into out there. LLC. oh. so watch out for the anger. That is her big thing ever since she has been four or five years old. or nagging on you.” Trust me. take. take. She is on the path to get married. oh. 58 . I will talk about the specific types of women that you will run into in relationships and what to do about them and how to manage them. All she does is take. “What do you mean by that? Do you mean my lips are fat? But you like kissing me. Everything is a drag.com Women. everything is a downer. me. Itʼs kind of like. they take their anger and they subvert it. me.www. sheʼs not a fun person to be around. me.CarlosXuma. • The taking selfish chick. • Now. You are going to hate life with her. • But the types of woman that you are going to find. and I am going to talk about it actually in a separate part of this program. She wants to get married. and this is just another subset. It will come out. It is like dating Eeyore. Maybe her anger turns into an inability to have an orgasm. Itʼs another scary one. or doing these weird things. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. in the bonus. • There is the fragile chick. on the other hand. take. • The contentious chick. take. She is the one that is just a mess when you say the slightest thing. she has been subscribing to Bride Magazine and is waiting. This is the girl that is always a downer. • She is a drag chick. you are going to find: • A marriage chick. Everything is a struggle with her. Watch out for her. She is into nothing but herself and her appearance and she does everything to maintain it. there is vanity chick. or the necessity of picking on you.

She is just waiting for you to say the wrong thing to open her big bag 64ounce big old sack of crazy. This is the woman that is kind of like. she is got to have to deal with him and you are going to deal with her dealing with him. These are warning signals. They are not immediate write offs.” She is dull. but they are signals that you should be paying attention to. For all the women in the world. • And last but not the least.www. by the way. these are the main types of woman you should definitely avoid. that was a signal. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. • The ex is still around when it is not necessary for him to be around. or at least be very aware of. you can often find a real woman in there that will kind of show you what she is all about. “Oh. LLC.com • The dull flat line chick. She does not emote for some reason. She does not talk much. but again. oh!” She is ready to freak out at a drop of a hat. “Yeah. We are going to talk about red flags. She is just dying to unload it. And all these women can be compensated for. She does not say much. Now. again. If she is a liar or she is dishonest with you.CarlosXuma. be very careful. Oh. Do not let them sneak up on you and bite you on the ass because they are telling you something. but be aware of what is her primary focus. This is the one that. Hmm. well. Marriage chick you can get by with. I got a lot of them. yeah. If sheʼs out of a marriage and had kids.” you are going to wish you should listen to Carlos. it is a struggle. she seems to be less emotionally capable than a man. With contentious chick. the anxious-crazy chick. • First of all lying or dishonest. 59 . and after you have broken up with her and youʼve figured out. You are going to love this list. why do you have to? Why not choose well up front so you do not have to deal with this kind of crap. If you can cut through the BS. Watch out for her. Red flags to watch out for Oh.

there isnʼt kids in the picture. This is important. • You are not the center of her attention and you are not a priority. If she is slowing you down all the time. they are going to make it difficult for you too. She is jealous.CarlosXuma. now she is too focused on you. It is more difficult because it works against our natural pacing. you are going to hate that wife. The pacing is you are too fast or way too slow. LLC. it will be a tough road. it is going to be a tough road. look at that as being a red flag. which by the way. And believe me. There is a little complicated. scary stalker chick. She is obsessive. 60 . well. • Here is another red flag. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. little triangle you are going to have to deal with when you think about nailing one of those males out there. This is the opposite of the one over here where you are not the center of her attention. Freaky. If you hate her friends. And my friend. If you do not get along with them. If she does not now. yes. You need to be a priority in her life. one-night stand is not necessarily the way to go. there are a lot of woman that try to sleep with you faster than you may want to sleep with her. You know this chick. You get no chance to have an emotional connection.com and you are going to have to deal with him. • She hates your friends or you hate her friends. • She is too focused on you. You too need to match up on your pacing for the relationship. A woman needs to make you her priority. Really. makes it harder for you to form a relationship with her. ask yourself why he is still around. she never will.www. So if the ex is still around when it is not really necessary for him to be. but if the pacing is too fast or to slow. constantly putting off sex or if she is accelerating it. there is a natural flow to these things that you have to obey.

no. It is selfabuse. These are areas of mental illness that you need to watch out for. Need you. 61 . You know what I mean. anything. Watch out for it. pissed about something. It does not matter. but over the long haul. She is an embezzler. binge behavior. exhausting and you are not going to maintain a relationship this way. but if she has anger issues. Like you find a food you like a lot. • Controlling behavior. Some control. That is a red flag. we all binge on occasion. emotional abuse. generally speaking. She is doing naughty things at work that are against the law. a bad thing. She tries to control in anyway is. It will eventually graduate into stalker-type behavior. yes. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. of course. sexual. again. She tries to control your life. She tries to control you. a lot of control. This is could be bipolar depression.www. • Drug or alcohol abuse. or if she lashes out in anger. specially with those four.CarlosXuma. watch out it. • Frequent problems communicating and understanding. you know it. any kind of abuse that you determine is in the mix. • Overly dependent behavior. you will find it tiring. She does not have the ability to communicate with you very well. verbal abuse. or she is frequently hot and cold. This is where she really seems to need you. LLC. • Anger issues. itʼs another red flag. • Criminal activity. and she is also does not demonstrate a good capability of understanding what youʼre going through or seeing from your perspective. especially if it is out of proportion or out of timing. pissed about everything. like to lean on you 110% of the time. against the law. it is abuse of another kind. Again. She is pissed. She shoplifts. or understanding you in anyway. • She has mental illness of any kind. mental. Maybe she plays mind games. anyone of those four ways.com • If she is abusive in anyway. but when you really binge. itʼs not good. Itʼs two extremes. It does not get better.

and there is a saying when you study social work or psychology or any of that stuff having to do with mental health that when you look at the DSM IV. Are you the one doing all the work in this relationship? If it feels that way.” Women internalize their issues and it becomes mental illness for them. men tend to be a little bit more physically violent. In other words. everybody find something in there and you start to worry. it is one thing. LLC. Now. Like I always used to look at the people in high school and see how they treated the janitor. it may seem kind of funny because the janitor was usually they are kind of the old man or they are © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. If she is extremely detached from you or life or just things in general especially you. a little bit more physically aggressive and just. I do that. I do that. So if it is a sickness.com Again. “Oh my God. I think this is the compensation that women have for the way man are. You can tell anything about any person by how they treat people. But look at them with a cautious eye with women. There are a lot of woman with real mental issues out there. I must be OCD. which is this big fat book of all the possible things that can be wrong with you mentally.www. I must be paranoid. I think that every single person on this planet has a little bit of mental illness. Her detachment is a coping mechanism. which means there is no investment from her. If it is just an occasional thing you do. it is not so bad.CarlosXuma. Itʼs a defense mechanism and it will prevent you from connecting. They do not need to treat well.” The reality is that we all have a little bit of these things. and this is why I really feel that men have to be especially careful when selecting women is the way they internalize and manage their issues. Oh my God. 62 . • Watch how she treats other people. It is when it hampers our ability to cope with life that it becomes an illness. That is a red flag. You are doing all the work. there is a good chance that it could be actually real. “Grrr. watch out. • Extreme detachment is a red flag as well.

I am not kidding you. of course. and they will mess with your brain. in specific. or she constantly shifts the responsibility? There are a lot of women that are very good at this. you are going to bump all of this. shoot the person next door. and then proceed and make you think it was your fault she did that. • No female friends or no friends at all. and I really did make them a part of this list. She could take a gun out. • I called them the head gamers. even though they may not be on the same level. a red flag. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they choose to treat that person. Your great white light of love. You are going to get it on. You should be able to see a pattern of balance in her life. head gaming. If it shifts way one way. Watch how a woman treats the wait staff because she is watching how you do. Sexual incompatibilities. but when it comes right down to it. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. Do they make a fun of them or do they try and connect with them on some level. She should have some male friends. 63 . You will see it especially in restaurants. emotional connection. If itʼs just the other way.CarlosXuma. Watch out for her. this is a red flag. but the reality is that whatever you may judge him to be. he is still a human being. • Is she a blamer.www. and if you cannot do that with the clear conscience and a minimum of issues where you two can get in to it and enjoy it. but you know what I mean. that is another red flag.com • kind of “Huh?” Or they are total stoner dude who cannot get any job. LLC. a lot of female friends. • Sexual issues and incompatibilities. Sexual issues are something you must watch out for. that is an issue. They will make you believe that it is your fault. • Is she super selfish and really focused on herself? Again. You think of all these different things when you think of the janitor. or she only has one gender. Itʼs really important to see this. They are incredibly clever. interesting. This will eventually sabotage your relationship because even up front you think you are going to have this wonderful. You are going to hit that thing. it is going to be hard down the road.

a red flag. • Is she always trading up? In other words. Are you going to accept that as the terms of love? I do not think so. • Do your family or friends disapprove of this woman or girl. but those are the big ones to watch out for. 64 . She is everything I want and we have fantastic sex. patterns people demonstrate tell us all about them. They will just get the ride. and you have to realize that this is an especially important one because money issues are the number one reason. how does she handle her money? Is she a spender? Is she in a lot of debt? Does she have poor control over her spending? This is a red flag. Itʼs not to say there arenʼt more that will come up. is she always having a lot of short-term relationships. Enough said there. like maybe longer than a year? There is an issue there. That is self-preservation. and those are important ones. Those are probably the most important ones. we light it up.www. that crack pipe. That is not real emotion. I gave you a ton of them there that you should watch out for. “Oh God. for break ups and for a conflict within relationships. or at least quoted as the number one reason. I am so attracted to her.CarlosXuma. LLC. and you know what? Most of the time. • Money issues. or have any reservations about her? Wow! This is a big one because when we get caught up in that emotional high. • Number one. does she have a pattern of cheating. yes. Those are red flags. but nothing that really pans out for long. theyʼre absolutely freaking right. So we talked about the compatibility elements on which you must not have to finish this compatibility area. dude. Do not even entertain a © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. thatʼs the red flag right off the bat because sheʼs only into you for your money. So watch out for those.” And what happens. Again. She is so hot.com • Gold digging. or a pattern of disloyal behavior. your rational thinking goes right out the window when your family sees things that you canʼt because they are not as emotionally involved with her.

again. This is that critical thinking aspect I talked about. They are not attracted.” I have to flip the switch in my head that says. “I am out of here. you are going to know when you are going to say. so this is what is happening. by the way. and I am finding a flight out of here. Every woman has some bad qualities. She has to understand that men should be men. of course. So now women are trying to be men. How much is too much for you. Believe me. “It is too much. getting my passport stamped. and that is why we are attracted to each other. “Bye-bye. I am done.com relationship with a woman that does not understand gender reality with the things that I teach you. you are in for a world of hurt there. It is almost as in neutral. Most guys out there today canʼt. and Iʼm assuming you can. When you know what is going to be enough for you and what you can take and what you cannot take.www. LLC. Every woman does.CarlosXuma. and that is if. we see man that are way over here in the masculine spectrum and the women over here in the feminine spectrum are starting to come together and they are starting to change places. Maybe not today. You should always have a point to find in your mind where you say.” It is important that you do that because. but very soon. that men are men and women are women. 65 . I cannot do this. I know this would not work. you can be a man. I cannot do this anymore. I am going to be working on my exit visa. I am over. without that criterion in advance when you get caught up in the crack pipe of attraction you are going to be wishing you could see things clearly. trying to live up to this new feminist ideal. that is an analogy that you will come to know and understand well in your search for a real good woman. They are not really attracted as if they were on the right ends of the spectrum.” You will have a criterion for leaving and you should always have that criterion. trying to take on the role of the leader. trust me. You are going to be in pain for a long time. This is done. If she is too busy trying to be a man. especially after the wreckage has shifted through © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. but the trick is to decide how much is too much. men are trying to be women and this is how we are coming together and the polarity is too close.

I do not know. These are things you have to figure out with your critical thinking as you look at her relationship history. maybe she is a little needy. So again. Find out what her pattern is with other guys. especially her mother? Especially her mother. She is trying to get some kind of clarification in her life. Find out if she is in therapy.com and you find out that what kept you there longer than you had to be was your own emotions. and beyond that at this point in this as far as I am concerned. I have been with her for several years now. • What is her relationship to her family. Find out what the character and type of guy that she is normally attracted to is.www. and why it ended. but what is her relationship to that therapy? Is she dependent on it? Is it working for her? Is it not working for her? Why? • What is her relationship history? What is she typically had for relationships? If she has had only long term relationships? Were he broke up with her? That is actually kind of a dangerous sign because it shows that maybe she is a little clingy. Thankfully my girlfriend does not have that problem. it such a good sign. and why? Find out who ended the relationships. That is not a bad sign that she is in therapy. • Check her mental health history. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. but I have had really upwards of a year to five years. who ended it. at least in most cases. of which the last year is debatable as to whether itʼs relationship at that point. Find that out. These are exercises for you to do with each woman.CarlosXuma. which by the way. LLC. yes I can. The screening process is you should go through all these different things. 66 . So those are the incompatibility elements. • Patterns of previous boyfriends. maybe she is a little bit too much in the relationship. The longest relationship I had is about five years. you are going to see so much about her personality come out because women do tend to turn out like their moms. if you are wondering whether or not Carlos himself can hold down a relationship.

• Again. I think that there is a real strong correlation with how a woman treats herself in her overall level of self-esteem and self-confidence and just her selfimage. and I can tell you this from experience. So weʼve talked about the various aspects of starting a relationship in terms of decision criteria. Iʼve had long distant relationships. and what her patterns are with relationships. and they are important ones to get clear.www. I hope not. and her own self-esteem is good and strong.CarlosXuma. because it will tell you all about her taste in men. that means she values herself which shows good positive mental health. letʼs talk a little bit of about long distance relationships because a lot of guys have some misperceptions about this. and Iʼve actually relocated over a thousand miles © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. If she treats herself well. • How does she treat herself? Itʼs really important here. think about how is that going to translate into a family? Is she going to treat your kids like that. itʼs how to start this things up? How do you start up a lasting relationship with a woman? Long Distance Relationships Well. I want to get into a few of the side aspects before we get into the real meat here. whereas if she treats herself poorly. how does she treat other people? Watch how she treats other people because that will tell you how you are going to get treated in the long run. first of all.com " " This is a real important one. The truth is that long distant relationships are a kind of false of intimacy. which Iʼm sure youʼre dying to find out. self-confidence. LLC. 67 . Now.

theyʼre going to seem like the best person in the planet for you because you canʼt have them and because you canʼt see all the negative stuff youʼll be experiencing when youʼre with them. Trust me.www. So you fabricate intimacy and emotions that do not yet exist. maybe an overseas bride or some kind. but there are a lot of guys out there that fall into this situation because they are shopping for a wife that is probably not American.com for a relationship. Itʼs never a real relationship until you can actually be with that person and experience them in person because they going to seem perfect to you. LLC. not the actuality. It did not work out. Iʼm going to talk about it in a second here. it does not matter. Itʼs just depending on the reasons for you doing it. which Iʼm not going to say as bad necessarily. Itʼs almost like an accelerant because you canʼt have this person. itʼs not a real relationship. ten thousand miles away. Now. two thousand. and both of you have become locked into the imagination of what it would be like. you canʼt see them. 68 . So you create a pattern of relationship in your head. not a real relationship.CarlosXuma. primarily because I did it from a wrong decision. I © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. So the truth is that most long distance relationships are built on false intimacy. there really are two choices to this. I have to say your thinking is distorted because you canʼt see the person. When youʼre in a long distance relationship. So itʼs not real. you are creating a glossy superficial image of that person. A thousand.

So if youʼre shopping for a wife out there. first of all. not just to be supplicating. it creates a false sense of intimacy. on the whole. a non-American wife. Most countries out there where women really do understand who they should be to satisfy and please a man.” Thatʼs the realization you come to. you have to have regular physical presence. Iʼm kind of creating an ideal image in my head when sheʼs not around. There is no way around it. but when youʼre doing it overseas. the more you are going to see. You still have to see this person regularly and spend time with them with longer periods of time. You have to be with that person for a long period of time to really know that they are there for you. American women are very different than a lot of women around the world.CarlosXuma. no. “Oh. 69 .” They understand their femininity and they know how to make it work with a man. so you have to have regular physical presence with that person. not just to be passive. LLC. you have to have an extended period of time together. So how do you actually do it? How do you make a long distance relationship work? Well. again. I hardly encourage it actually.com personally have found that. and Iʼm pretending and making myself fall in love with the person that I really donʼt have any experience with. You must be with her in person. the more you are going to understand. whether itʼs vacation you spend together for a long period of time. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. The longer you can spend with that person. “Alpha Women. they have a certain role they understand works with men. youʼre going to find some difficulties here and thatʼs because.www. this really is a real person. These women are what they called the.

This is deep communication. I don’t know another way to say it.com You have to have regular communications. So talk with a woman on a landline and insist that she’s also in a landline and you have the concentrated time to really talk with her. but don’t do it over cell phones.www. There is small delay that’s introduced in communication over the cell phone that I’ve noticed.” “No. If you rely on staying © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. Sometimes you’ll start talking and that person starts talking. you’ve got to come together right now. you talk. but it’s going to happen.CarlosXuma. and this does sound like a small thing. It’s going to tell you whether or not it’s for real or if it’s a fake. One of you is going to have to relocate. you talk. “No. and that means using the phone a lot. then you are going to need to figure it out. If it’s imaginary intimacy. Eventually you have to have a plan for getting together to see if it’s going to work. 70 . and I’ve also noticed that it leads to a kind of weird chemistry where you never know when the other person is actually talking. and it actually throws off the conversation quite a bit and it actually magnifies when you’re talking to a woman. and then you go back and forth with it.” It’s because of that delay in the communication. whether it’s the Beatles version or the Aerosmith version. LLC. you have to have that chemistry of talking with the person on the phone. one of you is going to have to take the big plunge and come together. Because email is so one way. It sounds like a small thing. but it’s actually a big thing because you pick up a lot on chemistry.

What are the myths of love and relationships? • Well. the false knowledge of the other person. they can succeed but theyʼre going to take a lot more work. do not last and are built on the false intimacy. LLC. If anything. I really donʼt recommend that you spend any time on a long distant relationship. So again. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions.com on a long-term relationship. So love conquers all is another myth. you’re just mentally masturbating. Love does not conquer all. one of the myths is. and you have to recognize what you want to gamble on. Long distance relationships. I donʼt recommend them. on the whole. overall. 71 .” Do you hear that one a lot? Iʼm sure you have. Iʼm using the crack pipe a lot because you really have to understand what a distorting impression that gives to you. Youʼve got to watch out for that one. Whatʼs more important? Myths of Love and Relationships What are the myths of love and relationships? This is an important section. “Love conquers all. Love make it seems like you can conquer all because youʼre so blinded from the crack pipe. It’s going to have a long hard road ahead of it. So thatʼs all Iʼm going to say on long distance relationship because.CarlosXuma. so that you would get the right idea as we go into the important parts of the program. long distance must turn into short distance right away. the two-to-one odds or the one thatʼs ten thousand to one. Iʼm going to do some more disillusioning here. and they are not as likely to succeed.www.

thatʼs not up to you. LLC. You can have that positive influence on her. like a long term marriage or something like that. 72 .CarlosXuma. Thatʼs it. • “Love is forever. then definitely it isnʼt because weʼve all got to go sometime. Thatʼs really how relationship is all about. but overall. the worst the relationship probably is. The fact is the more you analyze and talk about the relationship. it being eternity. and thatʼs an important recognition to have and realization to have. You can try to do that as best you can. “To leave her better than you found her” is another one of those myths that I talked about earlier on the program. So there is only one type of relationship that last forever and thatʼs the one that you eventually die in. “Dude. • You need to talk about relationships. not necessarily. Is she invested and being better than when you found her? She has to be as just as invested as you. So forget about the forever aspect. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. Sometimes you can be in love with the person. It was at one of my seminars when he came up with that one and I was like. And if sheʼs not? Youʼre going to fail with this. Itʼs another one of those common misperceptions. leaving her better than you found her can often lead you to being over-invested in something you canʼt control. so every relationship comes to an end in some form or another. and even then it ends.com " " " • It doesnʼt conquer all. Just focus on the quality today and perpetuating that quality day after day after day. and if you want thing forever. but you just canʼt be with that person. and it wonʼt even be your fault.www.” Love is not forever. Thatʼs it.

the only work is to overcome the limiting parts of your own personality that are keeping you from connecting to her. youʼve got to watch out for that. sheʼs not need " going to talk about it other than her usual “so where is this " going? Where is this leading? Whatʼs going on?” Because " that is " l" " • itʼs " good in the present. Letʼs work on our relationship. • Relationships require a lot of work. well. If youʼre talking about the relationship as if itʼs a separate thing thatʼs not you and her together as a relationship. because thatʼs what is happening with her too.CarlosXuma. Itʼs is one of those myths out there.” This is the flip " side of this. 73 . Itʼs getting past our walls of ego and dysfunction. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. Well. If youʼre doing it right.www. she wonʼt need to " talk about it other than the “where is this going. If the relationship is working right. thatʼs dangerous territory. this goes back to what I said before. she wants to continue it and know going to continue. “Our " needs to be worked out. Let me say that again. I know itʼs not very romantic. The woman focus is on a safe secure long-" term connection with a partner that can ensure her survival. is it? Beware talking about the relationship as a separate entity from you and her.com " " " The thing Iʼve noticed about relationship is the more that you feel like you have to analyze and talk about the relationship like itʼs a third party entity and you have to analyze it and take it apart. but the only work is to overcome the limiting parts of your own personality that are keeping you from connecting with hers.” The "more you have to focus on as being separate from you. they do require work. the "worse it generally is. Again. She has got to overcome herself to get through to you and connect with you. LLC.

Well. Or recognizing that even though you think you want a relationship. we can now move on. but those are the important ones. Starting Up a Relationship Letʼs talk now about how you start up a relationship. Once youʼve done that.www. She has to want you and it has to be some degree sexual. Youʼve got to have attraction to start a relationship. So those are some of the myths I wanted to debunk for you. we are nowhere near talking about a relationship. wonʼt it? Sometimes yes. Weʼre just insecure and we figure relationship will help that. 74 . One-itis is an important thing to watch out for because when you start up a relationship. We fall back in our relationships as a way to cure our problems. It has to be there. youʼre just insecure.com so that we can properly connect with another person. Thereʼs a lot more and there are going to be more to come up here on the course of this program. to solve ourselves. Human beings do this all the time. LLC. youʼre going to be tempted to fall into one-itis. But if you havenʼt built attraction. most times no.CarlosXuma. I have to come into this program with you under the assumption that you have built some level of attraction with a woman. There has to be this genuine desire to be with the other person. I hope that isnʼt too much of a shock. the assumption is that there is attraction. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. We do this all the time. we can now move forward.

This is the habit that I brought into my life and brought into my relationships that have served me so well. You become reliant on the one that you do get.CarlosXuma.www. the focus on one woman is being the only for you is going to get in your way of actually getting her for that relationship. so you figure this has to be the one woman. LLC. I have to repeat it. One-itis. We just donʼt meet many women is really where it comes from. As much as guys donʼt seemed to get that. Itʼs unhealthy and itʼs created by the fact that youʼre just not meeting other women. and I want to pass it onto you. not an in-depth understanding. They are wonderful creatures. You are going to learn that women are not all wholesome and pure.com One-itis is that unhealthy focus we have on one woman and it will bite you on the ass because youʼre not going to be able to really maintain a level of separation you need to from the woman to get a relationship started. Thatʼs really where one-itis come from. and they are also very flawed human beings. We just arenʼt meeting many women. They are fantastic. but they are still human beings. They are great. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. Itʼs an idealization of women based on just a little bit of knowledge about them. We idealize women based on superficial knowledge. They are not as ideal image of femininity. The best cure for one-itis is what you are going to learn in this program. Dispel the obsession by getting in touch with her flaws right away. 75 . Oneitis is in direct conflict with starting a relationship.

For instance. and she is the one only because our brain chemistry has convinced us of this.” Itʼs a little bit of a signal. not a danger signal or an alarm. This could be a flaw. “Donʼt jump in that pool until you © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. I can probably do that.CarlosXuma. even in a friendship basis.” Regularly connect with many women. but it still something gets me a little bit of concern so Iʼm going to watch it. any woman could be. Iʼll start dating a woman and Iʼll find something thatʼs kind a like. The reality is that anyone woman out there could be the one for you. not just this one woman. “There could be something here. “Hmm.” Thatʼs how I define it. 76 .www. LLC. but a “Hmm.” It is not a red flag. So when I see a “Hmm. This could be something that I would have to deal with for a long time.” I take a moment to think. and it allows you to have a frame of reference for the woman that you are focused on so badly. Donʼt jump on the pool when you canʼt see the bottom. I canʼt try writing that one down.com You can get rid of this one-itis obsession by immediately looking for and finding a few flaws that you can use to really frame her in a realistic way. So it all comes down to emotional self-control. That is a little clever witticism for you to use in relationships. but itʼs up to you to choose that woman. itʼs “Hmm. and we donʼt have a self control to keep the separation. Connect with many women. Am I prepared to do that? Yeah. we take a hit from the crack pipe. because you are going to learn a lot about women in the process. We see one woman that we happened to get emotionally involved with.

I could stand being with him.” Thatʼs not attraction. Without sex there will be no relationship. not the.www. and this is just exactly like that. “Heʼll do. Yes. thatʼs just. Heʼs got enough of the things that I am looking for. Getting sex is a vital part of it. “Oh. again. • Get sex.CarlosXuma. Itʼs better than nothing. I know itʼs geeky.com could see the bottom. A real relationship with a woman is based on sexual attraction. Make sure itʼs genuine attraction where youʼre hot and heavy for each other. 77 .” So emotion self-control is the operative word or words. heʼll do” kind of attraction because thatʼs kind of a weak attraction. Thatʼs for one-itis. Now. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. This is important. settling. How to Transition From Dating to Longer Term Relationship Hereʼs the transition. The weak attraction is when a woman thinks. Heʼs a nice guy. This is how you transition from dating to the longer term relationship. to go to the bedroom with each other. youʼve got it. I donʼt think many guys realize just how important it is. real physical attraction. by genuine. I studied physics and particle physics just as like a hobby. How to go from casual dating to relationship? • The first step is to ensure that there is genuine attraction. LLC. With that thing you may or may not have had issues about. the need to get down and dirty. but there is a thing called the weak attractive force and the strong magnetic force that we can strong forces anyways within sub-atomic particles. I mean sexual attraction.

physical intimacy. but it could be a strong make-out session. Youʼre getting some regular sexual. You created some kind of emotional connection with her and now you want it keep it going. This program is built around the fact that you are now regularly dating a woman and you donʼt want to lose her. Without it. LLC. • Then comes. 78 . We are going through a progression here of how you will know youʼre starting to move © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions.CarlosXuma. Regular dating means an emotional connection. This where we should be starting with the conversation right now. • Youʼre committed to future events together. either intercourse or physical intimacy.www. I think physical intimacy or like strong physical contact. Physical intimacy is a prerequisite of all the relationships you will start. Let me say that again. Iʼm not necessarily talking about sex. Progressive Milestones In a Relationship These are important to understand. and itʼs hard for me to kind of define that because I tended to define it in terms of sex. you donʼt have genuine attraction. or you are planning to date a woman long term and you donʼt want to lose her. although I would actually prefer to kind a say sex.com • Physical intimacy is a prerequisite of all relationships. hopefully. because I know that some peopleʼs beliefs donʼt necessarily condone this. It could be heavy petting for you guys that just want to hold off. • First comes regular dating. some regular sex.

uncle and aunts or whoever she’s close to.www. 79 . She’s introducing friends. There has to be some meeting of people that she’s directly related to. She doesn’t want to introduce her friends to somebody that’s not going to be around long. I’m so sorry. so you need to make that happen. • Then comes somewhere in there meeting her friends. I know I use the C-word.com through a relationship. meeting your family. and remember you said you like the band.” You just made a commitment in the future to be with this person and you’re assuming that you’ll have a romantic connection between now and then. you’re able to say. It maybe more of commitment of time and it may also make this a more significant step in the building of a relationship. meeting your friends is another indicator of progression in a relationship spectrum. It can start with brothers and sister. That’s a form of commitment. • Another progressive milestone is traveling together. and the same thing for you. A real important one here because you’re going to find out a lot about the person without having to live with them. In other words. Then comes commitment to future events together.CarlosXuma. That’s a big step. It’s really why traveling together is so important. you still going to work it in there. “You know what? Next month there is this concert coming into town. but eventually it should culminate in her parents if they’re still around. So the next thing you have to be working for after you start the regular dating is regular sex and it should be enjoyable sex for both of you. If they are out of town or lived in other state. so that’s usually a good indicator. You’re going to see her © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. LLC. so let’s go see them. • Another thing that has to happen is meeting her family.

” • Then comes more distinct verbal commitments as you start talking about things more intimate details about your relationship together. Maybe she has a toothbrush over your house now. sheʼll bring something. how you genuinely feel about each other with more sharing and expression of feelings. but traveling together brings out the. • There is stuff in between. but recognize that it is a significant step in pushing a relationship further. Again. You are going to make more distinct lifestyle commitments. this is trial of what it would be like to live with her for the rest of my life. living together. Youʼre going to see how she handles bedtime. but generally coming next would be marriage. 80 . Youʼre going to see how she gets ready in the morning. this is just as fact in life. most relationships just keep going on to auto pilot after about six months to a year. how committed you are to each other. I will talk about this later in the program as to the decisions about this when you want to do it and when you donʼt want to do it. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions.CarlosXuma. LLC. “Ha. We donʼt take any conscious thought into either making them happen or whether they should happen. These things happen automatically because we just let them happen. children and with most relationships. • Then comes the big one. there is more a little small lifestyle commitments that make it more apparent that you two are together and sharing a similar life. Yeah. This is how most people approach relationships.www. thereʼs going to be a little bit of gloss of trying to put on your best face for the person.com habits. maybe you both share a certain interest in a food or youʼll bring something to her place.

Once or twice per week. Thatʼs a distinct " difference between how an Alpha man thinks about this and " how the average guy does. I will only give you the essential steps you need to know to do these things. it just happens to them. especially the nice guy. Once per week is the first significant milestone. that means the relationship is building. So what Iʼm telling you is rather " than letting yourself fall in to a relationship after a first few hits on the pipe.CarlosXuma. You have to take conscious cognitive control because most people go on auto pilot and they just assume itʼs a relationship after a certain period of time.com " " " And when they do start to happen. and then it starts to become more established in your head. There are going to be natural expectations of commitment if you do this path. Itʼs very important © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. You donʼt want a relationship "happening to you. Hereʼs a simple plan and again. The simple plan for how to start a relationship or how to get into relationship mode is first of all: • To keep seeing her at least once or twice per week. whether we want to or not. youʼve got to go on more rational thinking. If you donʼt want the relationship.www. Youʼre teaching her a pattern of interaction with you and if it goes good. LLC. After that. or do " anything. So those are some of progressive milestones to a relationship. 81 . it becomes more frequent per week. I donʼt want to complicate things. If you meet her once or more per week. you need to slow that down. we are starting to fall down on a progressive chain of events that lead us then to a relationship. You want to create it. you are creating a relationship. and they donʼt really plan.

“Well. and they will actually hold things back to test you. great. But thatʼs not the end of the relationship you still need to be making progressive steps forward. “Hey. Looking beyond the superficial. knowing that women will not confront you. Remember keep moving forward.” And sheʼs going to assume it too. and then watch.www. you still have an issue and you need to get to the root of it. you need to keep moving through those milestones I was talking about. So keep the agenda moving forward. Remember itʼs always in the thing she isnʼt saying that you need to find the truth. to test your perseverance. If youʼre having sex with her. LLC. You make it happen. Thatʼs where relationship success comes from.com because again guys are going to fall into. Is she making a few of those steps happening. to test your willingness to be in a relationship. If sheʼs not into it or doesnʼt seemed to want to go along in the same track but isnʼt saying no. In other words. 82 . I guess I ought to see you again this weekend. • Keep moving the agenda forward. they will not bring something up. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions.” Or you feel like you should and what you unknowingly do is create the pattern in her head that says. Iʼve got a relationship with this guy. and then you are both going to be in for a world of hurt when one or both of you doesnʼt agree on what this is. Back here with these progressive milestones.CarlosXuma. too? Is she helping them along? Then sheʼs probably into it with you and you should follow along and keep going. It should sound obvious but itʼs not always done. youʼre the one who is in charge of the progression.

itʼs going to go bad. if you just started dating her.CarlosXuma. look how the relationship sloshes back and forth. 83 . wait. if you want a relationship to go.www. I guarantee you she will tell you and when she does you will feel better for it. In other words. at least. The other reason is that you wonʼt really know if she feels it unless she tells you she feels it. to just say it to not make it weird. this goes back right back to what I said earlier. Donʼt tell her your feelings before she has told you. things are going good. Itʼs better if she is the one thatʼs wondering than you. This is going to meet with some controversy and Iʼm sure more than a few raised eyebrows. If you tell her first youʼre going to always wonder if she told you just to not to be uncomfortable to match you. So even you do love her. or is it half empty? If we start talking about the relationship like itʼs an entity. Does she really mean it? The only way youʼre going to know if she initiates it. Donʼt tell a woman your feelings before she has told you hers. not for very far out.com • Keep your mouth shut. Itʼs just the way it is. you do not need to talk about the relationship. Is it half full. Donʼt make any future plans in the early stages. It will become a relationship on its own if you start if you start to create it and talk about it like itʼs this thing in the middle of your desk. and you use this as being the relationship. If itʼs like this glass. You want to be somewhat more in control of your emotional state than the woman because thatʼs the guyʼs role. LLC. The reason for this is: 1. 2. Itʼs only half full. donʼt make a lot of future plans. Letʼs talk about relationship. 3. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions.

There is lots of room for playful interaction with a woman. so attraction is one aspect. Keep doing the things you are doing before to build the attraction. connection. LLC. whether it was from the pickup side of it or what. so itʼs very important that it all falls under keep your mouth shut. and sheʼs not going to feel like sheʼs being jump into. I canʼt emphasize that enough. The exact same things are applicable. with the same romantic gestures. the more sheʼs going to feel loose and anticipating whatʼs coming up ahead. • Keep her on her toes.com You can make them a week in advance. • Keep the attraction going. Keep playing with her palm.CarlosXuma. You have to do that. itʼs still there. youʼre going to be able to keep her on her toes and youʼre going to be on your toes. or youʼre being clingy or needy or obsessive. Primarily complaint from women is that men stop doing what they did to get her into it. Keep building connection and intimacy. Iʼll talk more about how thatʼs done. The more temporary this feels. Sheʼs going to be testing you and you need to be able to hold up under that testing. and after youʼre done reading it you can now play with it and have fun with her. This should be a very high alert kind of situation. Constantly challenge her and hold up under testing. So what I mean is you need to challenge her on a regular basis because sheʼs going to be challenging you back. intimacy and rapport.www. with the same things that you were doing that you are building attraction with. keep working on those. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. but not too many weeks out. This is one that is often overlooked by guys. 84 . When you can do that.

If something changes. • Keep taking the lead. but you are like there. itʼs a triangle in the Greek alphabet.CarlosXuma. This is really important. Itʼs a symbol in mathematics. Delta. They are just riding along for the fun of it. Iʼm not telling about a river delta here. Watch her behavior. When you see a change. I just noticed that. Now. and it means change. they donʼt notice it and then they wonder. stay alert. LLC.www. Itʼs really interesting. “What the F…? What happened?” And then theyʼre not seeing patterns and not noticing what they are. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. you have to make it happen. 85 . take note of it. They donʼt keep an eye on her behavior. and youʼre watching for any changes that happen in the context of your relationship. Is she becoming more warm to you? Is she becoming more physically affectionate? Or has she started to chill out a little bit. cool off a little bit? Donʼt go getting worried about this like it is the end of the world. What the hell does that mean?” Track these patterns because this is the one thing that most guys fail to do. They donʼt keep an eye off for the changes. and they are always wondering what happened after it happened to them. but ask yourself. you are the leader and you own this relationship. They donʼt stay alert. “Ha. The change of one thing is what weʼre looking for here. You must be the one to keep things moving. watch it and figure out why itʼs changing. • Back to alert again. and watch for deltas. You must have the initiative. Iʼve said this time and time again.com not where you are anxious. You feel present.

www. and if she doesnʼt stop you or doesnʼt put on the breaks in any big way. I know that it might be a letdown for some of you. Thatʼs it. You keep testing her. See her a little bit more frequently than the last time maybe. Keep under control of your emotions. very relieving. Do not talk about your emotions. • Keep her aware and on her toes. youʼre moving forward. I actually am going to you a test by the way that you can use to check her in a relationship and get the right answers that you want. Itʼs not a complicated process. so keep doing the fun and energetic stuff. • • • • • Keep seeing her. 86 . youʼve just started the relationship.com Those are the simple steps to starting a relationship up. my friend. Keep your agenda moving forward with those milestones. Congratulation. Itʼs all general. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. You just keep going. Itʼs not complicated. • Keep the attraction building. Keep your mouth shut.CarlosXuma. and then stay alert. LLC. There is no specific one thing you need to do. but actually it should be very. Build a connection intimacy. Itʼs not complicated.

Sheʼs going to do most of the work.CarlosXuma. 87 . Make sure you really want this to go into a relationship because sheʼll take you there. In other words.” But at the same time. and be like.” Donʼt answer like that. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. Yeah. I know that can be scary. Be there with her. With most of the work. “Yeah. youʼll know a relationship is starting when she starts to talk about. Leave her wondering a little bit. youʼre always going to wonder if she really wanted to have a relationship. sure. you will know for sure where she stands because sheʼs the one who initiated it. what do we got here? So what is this thing?” When she starts doing that.com Now. just date you. “So where are we? So how do you feel about me? So. youʼre going to be the one who knows for certain thatʼs what she wants and you need to know that. LLC. definitely. • Let her be the one to declare the relationship. yeah.www. I mean. Be present. not you. Thatʼs what I want. you know. whether you want to go or not. Donʼt worry. Just make sure you know where you want to go first. If she does it. • She will start it. This is usually predicated with a “whereʼs is this going” talk. I can. Be enthusiastic. thatʼs the indicator to you that sheʼs starting to get invested in feelings and she wants to check herself before she gets hurt. A woman will progress naturally with or without you. so what we want to do is keep it going without drama. sheʼs going to do it. If you do it. you donʼt have to answer doubtfully like. “Yes. like if you wanted to commit to being monogamous or whatever it maybe. without pain and heartache and weʼre going to talk more about that. sure.

“Do you know what? I love to do this with you or that with you. sheʼs the woman. • Show how you feel like you could fit it to that picture and the bigger picture unfolds.” instead of trying to say. you become the emotional needy guy. “Well. • Express your interest in terms of being aligned with hers. instead of creating confusion with your own verbalization. “Oh.com • Get her to voice her desires first. 88 . but really when you can find a place to insert yourself in what she already experiences and describe it to her in a way that shows that her life is now somehow incomplete right now without you in that picture. that actually magnifies attraction and starts the relationship faster because she canʼt wait to have that with you. itʼs not enough because youʼre not there. What was once enjoyable is now more lonely to her.” Youʼre not in that picture. or I see us living backpacking through Europe together.CarlosXuma. because if you say it. What the hell do I mean by that? Actually thatʼs me saying that.” You donʼt have to say. itʼs suddenly. I see us moving to France and being together forever. If she says it. I know it sounds like a © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions.” That is actually less connecting to a woman than just expressing how you see yourself fitting into what she already experiences in her life. “Do you know what? I have this feeling with you that Iʼd like to take you away to Paris or something like that. you are just simply saying. Itʼs what she already has. itʼs really important. LLC.” Those are great things to talk about on occasion. Iʼve said again and again.www. “What the hell do I mean by that?” When you express your interest in terms of being aligned with hers. Now. Itʼs just another way of handling that aspect of “where is this going.

It is not © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. She will want to give you children. Last thing weʼre going to talk about in the starting up phase is the whole topic of MILFs. sheʼs going to give you kids as well.www. and she will recognize this and sheʼll know that while she does expect you to play kind of a fatherly role to her kids. You are secondary and you will always be secondary to that. You have to know how youʼre going to feel about her kids and in general. itʼs going to be a null situation because itʼs not just you. Know how you feel about her kids and just in general about this relationship with a woman that has kids. • Recognize your own need to procreate. Sheʼll want to do that for you. Really this is a term you can use for any woman that has kids that you can get involved with. itʼs her kids. Coming into a full nest already is very unnatural for men. Thatʼs the way she wants to perceive it. Recognize that this woman has a priority of her kids.CarlosXuma. • That any woman who has kids that you get involved with. You have to handle the fact that you will not always be the priority. mothers I like to have fun with. 89 . but honestly thatʼs what she wants. Most women would because they understand how it works. Itʼs actually not horrible. It is a big stretch. A mom who already has kids. LLC. my friend. she knows that youʼre not their biological father and that is a big stretch. Itʼs actually a good thing.com horrible way to do it. if itʼs natural. You keep that in mind. Thatʼs another thing to recognize in relationships.

itʼs very challenging. Your own children are never the same as somebody elseʼs. Balancing all these factors in her life with one person having to do all of it. you just got to be more direct. " because this is a situation of a younger and younger these days because when women get "married young they get divorced young and they may © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. This is something you can just assume right off the bat. She will want to " more direct level. but youʼve got to be more direct. she will really gravitate to that. In other words when dealing with the woman who already has kids. but eventually being more direct " with communicate on a them will definitely get you further. She has got it tough. "" If you can see those things and recognize her as being " somebody that is whole and independent of those kids. sheʼs a mom already. And with the whole MILF situation. • Acknowledge her value as a woman beyond being just a mother. relate to her an understanding of her situation.www. making sure she has time for herself. Thatʼs what sheʼs dying for. hell. • Relate to her an understanding of her situation. They may at first want to just have fun. I donʼt know what is it. making sure she is not all stressed out. maybe you " have your own and youʼre kind of linking families. being both a mom and a father to her kids. 90 . She wants to be recognized as something else other than this mother unit to the children. Sheʼs got a tough life right now in dealing with raising her kids.CarlosXuma. If youʼre going to look at dating a mom or somebody who already has her own family.com the same as having your own children. a single mom or whatever it maybe. Women like this " " need to have a much more firmly established footing. LLC. I want to throw this in " lot of guys do run into.

which is Keeping Her. LLC. How do you keep a girlfriend? Weʼre going to go through a lot of elements here. and I can tell you that they are great. I have a boy myself. This is a long section. That was a pretty exhausting session there. Well. but no. Children are wonderful. Donʼt put yourself in a situation where itʼs more difficult to get "what you want. weʼre going to go into a very big section next coming up. “You know what? I can deal with it. but I do know that if I have to start a relationship with another woman. It sounds kind of like a no-brainer. You are going to love the information in this section. Weʼre going to break it up. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. so donʼt waste any time. man. This is the Starting Relationship section that we just finished.CarlosXuma.www. For a long time I knew I couldnʼt start a relationship with a woman that already had other kids and it took me awhile to get over that and realized. move into the next video. So donʼt be surprised if this kind of situation is a little different and if you canʼt handle it. not her. Now. there we go. thatʼs fine. They are fantastic thing to have in life.com have a kid " or two from it because they had a kid thinking the kid will solve " " " " " " all their problems. 91 . It has got some really tight stuff. but you would be amazed how many guys donʼt do it. Just make sure youʼre only dating the kind of woman that you want to date. and thatʼs the way it always has to be. " thatʼs fine.” But if you canʼt. heʼs the priority.

including but not limited to economic loss. action. you should regularly consult a doctor in all matters relating to physical or mental health. special. or any of their affiliates.www. will be liable for any direct. exemplary or other damages that may result. Neither Carlos Xuma nor our associates. but not limited to.com © Morpheus Productions. psychological. . LLC.CarlosXuma. particularly concerning any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention. In particular. financial. consequential. indirect. or legal matters. including. medical. injury. or application of medication or preparation by any person following the information offered or provided herein. LLC. The information contained in or made available through this Product cannot replace or substitute for the services of trained professionals in any field. DD Publications and our licensors or suppliers make no representations or warranties concerning any treatment. © 2007 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions. illness or death.

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