This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
of indeterminable age who has lived in his apartment for an undetermined amount of time. He is the “Sissydude” in the show’s title. Sarcastic and aloof he’s a campy character who’s obsessed with death, collecting things, and wearing extravagant outfits. Based on the gay blogger John Webster who runs the sexually charged website sissydude.com. Laurie Small town lesbian who still has some small town ideals Laurie enjoys her friendships with gay men. Fascinated by the idea of luck, and who is or isn’t lucky she allows herself to believe in things like fate even though she it otherwise a rational person. Laurie and Jamie understand one another in their insults and sarcasm, and she cares for Frank like an older sister. Frank Raised on a mink farm and sent to private school, his isolation has given him a narrow view on human personalities and relationships. He is vain but only recently aware of his attractiveness. He’s drawn to the assertive personalities of Laurie and Jamie, but frustrated by their distrust in the world. Plot description: Jamie places an ad in the paper to sublet his Gottingen street apartment. Laurie and Frank show up separately eager to rent the place even before Jamie had planned to leave. Rather than be displaced Jamie invites both of them to live with him until he is ready to move out at the end of the month. They reluctantly accept the offer from the bizarre character who reveals little about himself or the new home they’ve moved into other than a bizarre humming noise and a wall of portraits. Laurie and Frank are suspicious of Jamie, but his flamboyant personality puts them both at ease. The three roommates grow closer to one another despite Jamie revealing nothing of his past and the lack of signs that there are any other tenants living in the apartment building. When Frank and Laurie discover a bedroom filled with hoards of stuff, they demand it be cleared for them and Jamie goes on the defensive. Frank privately approaches Jamie about the inconsistencies in his story, ending the confrontation in the bedroom. The humming which has plagued the apartment since the play’s start grows loud and turn to calls for the souls of Frank and Laurie. The portraits come alive as former tenants and Jamie is outed as the gatekeeper to an underworld hungry for life. With the closet door pulling the roomates in Jamie shows he has mended his ways by trying to save his new friends. Taking decisive action to offer a permanent solution Laurie decides to burn the place down and seal the gates once and for all. Songs description: Song 1 TBC
Song 2 Cut a Girl Loose to be written Pop music with humour. Purpose: Jamie and Frank have just met this song shows Jamie’s eccentricity. Frank is planning to sublet the small one bedroom apartment and asks what comes with the place. Jamie responds sarcastically: “A mouse named Mindy comes with the place. She wanted to move out with me, the rat, but sometimes you just gotta cut a girl loose.” Song about Mindy’s family tree as a mouse, what they’ve done together as friends in the apartment, her old relatives who died in various funny ways. Song should be fun, a little campy. Potential inspiration: Lily Allen-Alfie http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RgOm_WJKpE Song 3 No title yet - to be written Folk music/Pop/Rap - Really anything Purpose: The three roomates decide to move in together. The song doesn’t need to further the plot, it just needs to set the mood and assert their comfort with one another. Should comment on the action rather than re-explain the action. Just a good song. Song 4 No title yet - to be written Trashy 80s Hair Metal Purpose: The three roommates are sunning themselves on the roof when conversation turns to the fear. Does fear make you stonger/weaker? In the style of “Rock the Cradle of Love” Frank reveals his vanity with a metal song basically saying : “I don’t fear anything, people should fear me.” Potential inspiration: Billy Idol- Rock the Cradle of Love http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1xUvcGMWBk Song 5 I Want it All- Adrian is currently working on this Pop rock Purpose: Laurie and Frank have discovered Jamie’s hoard of stuff in the closet and they demand he get rid of it. Jamie talks about how important each piece of kitsch he’s collected is to him. Jamie urges them out of the apartment and claims he’ll work on the mess. <Note: song 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 will eventually lead into one another in the style of most rock musicals.> Song 6 Suck the Life Out of You- to be written Punk/Pop
Purpose: Frank confronts Jamie over whether he intends to leave the apartment at all and reveals the feelings he has. Other than the obvious gayness of the title, it’s also meant to forshadow the room which literally will “suck the life out of you.” Song should verge between kissing or killing. Blood, wrestling, yelling. Potential inspiration: CSS- Alala http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cnOvMFnRvs Peaches and Iggy - Kick it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4-n1ISQyqU&feature=fvst Song 7 Untitled Laurie piece- to be written Focus on the vocals Purpose: Pipes rumble and Laurie emerges from the bathroom where she’s been sleeping in the bathtub since Jamie refuses to allow anyone to stay in the empty room. Laurie is scared, uncertain of the weird sounds, uncertain of how lucky she has been to find this apartment and these friends. Song ends with the sound of pipes getting louder, the closet door vibrating and the band becoming possessed asking for souls and Jamie and Frank emerging from the bedroom. Song 8 I Never Meant for it to Be this Way- to be written Unknown style Purpose: Jamie explains he was trying to save them and runs to the door struggling to keep it (and the portal to hell) closed. Portraits come alive, wails from the band, a portal is opening and Jamie is supposed to feed them to the closet like he’s done many times before but this time he cares about them and doesn’t want to. Song 9 Burn burn burn - to be written Rock Purpose: Laurie takes control, her voice rises above everyone else and calls for the whole place to “burn, burn, burn” so they can all escape alive. A struggle, the portal opens, there’s fire and the song ends in blackout. Song 10 Reprise TBC Purpose: The whole place has burned down, Jamie didn’t survive, Frank and Laurie sit in the rubble.
Scene 1: Sublet <A man dances through his apartment in an untied silk kimono, moustache and glasses. The apartment is decorated with garish eccentricities. Every corner seems filled with colourful nick
knacks, and novelty items from a previous decade. The walls are lined with vibrantly coloured portraits. Knock on the door, Jamie turns down the music and answers. At the door is Frank. Frank is well-dressed, young and friendly.> Song 1 TBC Frank: Hi, I saw your ad online, I’m here about the sublet. Are you Jamie? I couldn’t get a hold of you so I thought I’d just stop by, I hope that’s okay. <Hand out to shake, Jamie doesn’t take it. Pause> You’re not Jamie, are you? I'm sorry I must have written the apartment numbers down wrong. I don’t have a printer at home, so … shit. <fumbles for a piece of paper he wrote the address on> It looks like 102 but it could be 103. Sorry, there’s no number on your door so I thought...I thought... I can barely even read my own writing, you can understand the mistake right? Jamie: Don't apologize. I’m Jamie this is 103. <takes the piece of paper from Frank, crumples it and throws it out> Gladys Pinkerton lives across the hall in 102. You can go over and ask if she’s also interested in subletting. She doesn’t get many male visitors anymore poor thing. Frank: Oh. Well I’m not really into older women. Jamie: She doesn’t have any teeth so it’s not the worst mistake that could be made. Young thing like you I’m sure she’d give you 30, 40% off. Frank: Sorry Jamie you don’t really look like you’re ready for company. <referencing flamboyant robe> Jamie: Well what do you expect when you arrive without calling first? Frank: I tried. You wouldn’t pick up. Jamie: Oh. I must have been tied up You can come in if you want. Or are you able to decide if you want to sublet from there? <Frank enters the apartment, Jamie closes the door behind him.> Frank: Okay. You know, this is silly of me Jamie: What’s silly? Frank: I just thought. Jamie: Nothing silly about a thought.
Frank: That’s not what I said. Jamie: Then what were you saying? Frank: I thought from the ad that you were a... Jamie: A what? Frank: A girl. Jamie: Oh. Frank: Sorry. Jamie: Well there are greater sins than being mistaken for a woman. Frank: It’s not that. I have an aunt named Jamie. When I read the ad I thought there'd be a woman at the door. Jamie: How disappointing. Expecting a woman and getting a man. Frank: I’m sure I’m not the first person who’s ever had that surprise. Jamie: Hmm. Well I’ve never heard of any girls named Jamie. Frank: The only Jamie I know is my Aunt. Jamie: Odd then she has my name. <uncomfortable silence> Frank: Yeah. I guess she does. Jamie: What's your name? Frank: Frank. Jamie: Do you ever get mistaken for a woman Frank? Frank: Not usually. Jamie: Typical. Frank: Sometimes, on the phone.
Jamie:<examining his face.> You have strong features. No one would think you were a woman in person. Frank: Thanks? Jamie: It wasn’t a compliment. Do you work out? Frank: Not really. Do you do drag? Jamie: The wigs gave me a terrible rash and I had to retire. Frank: How long ago was that? Jamie: 29 years ago this May. Frank: You don’t look that old. Jamie: It’s the salt air. Why did you come here today Frank? Frank: I came about the apartment. I’m a student, I go to Dal. I can pay first and last month’s rent. I’m here on my parent’s dime, so I am good for the money... Jamie: Save that for the landlord, I just need you to finish out my lease. Frank: What can you tell me about the place? Jamie: Well isn’t that a question? Well, I can tell you anything you want to hear to get it off my hands. Frank: At least you’re honest. Jamie: I try. <pause> I can tell you it’s across the street from a park but you can plainly see that, I can tell you that most of the people in here have made a deal with the devil, I can tell you there are ghosts everywhere in this old building, that a whole band died here, that you will have your heart broken here. I can tell you all sorts of stories Frank. But like you said I’m an honest man: it’s a dive, it’s cheap, it’s close to downtown. Frank: There’s not a lot of buildings this old left. It survived the Halifax explosion? Jamie: One of the only stately homes of Gottingen to scrape through. Frank: But it’s stable?
Jamie: Older than confederation. <Catches Frank looking at the images on the wall.> Former tenants. Frank: Why don’t you take them down? Jamie: They’re load-bearing. Frank: Anything else about the place? Jamie: The pipes vibrate, loud, louder than the pipes in an old place should vibrate. Sometimes you get a loud banging like someone or something is trying to escape. Or someone’s fucking upstairs. Frank: Ha. Jamie: <smiles at Jamie’s reaction.> The oven is gas. Have you ever had a gas oven? Frank: No. Jamie: It overcooks everything and it's a fire hazard. Stick to eating out and cold cereal. Which takes us to the fridge. It's broken. <opens fridge pulls out a pair of pants and starts putting them on.> But like I said I mostly eat out. Are you in a hurry? You looked like you were in going somewhere. Frank: No, I’m off today. Just a few errands to run. No one is expecting me anywhere. Jamie: So no one knows you’re here? Frank: No. Jamie: Good I hate being expected somewhere. <pause> Is it five o'clock? <Checks the time> Never mind it's after five in Russia <pulls out a bottle of vodka> Do you mind? Frank: No that's fine. Jamie: Do you want one? Frank: It's 11 am. No. No I’m fine for now. Jamie: I have other stuff. <gets up to look> Tonic water. And an apple? <offers apple in hand> Frank: No I'm fine, I'm just here to see the place.
Jamie: Good I'm not used to having boys over. I prefer not to host a man if I can help it. Frank: What comes with the place? Jamie: <Listing off things> Fridge, stove, windows, doors, a roof over your head. Frank: Other than that? Jamie: Picky. A little vermin I like to call Mindy comes with the place. She wanted to move out with me, the rat, but I said "no Mindy I think the relationship's over." <hushed tone> Sometimes you just gotta cut a girl loose. Song 2 Cut a Girl Loose to be written Frank: I meant does any of the furniture come with the place? Jamie: No, furniture goes with me. Mindy comes with the place. I recommend getting a cat if you want to keep the mice at bay. Frank: Why didn’t you get one? Jamie: I’m allergic to their saliva and animals can never seem to resist licking me. I’m delicious. Frank: Why are you subletting? Jamie: I can't get out of my lease. But I can’t be tied down and for $500 a month it’s a deal for anyone who wants it... Frank: Wow. Jamie: I think it’s so cheap because of Elsie. Frank: Elsie? Jamie: She was a collector, a hermit, she was lying dead on the floor two weeks before anyone noticed. <bites into apple.> You’re not freaked out by any of this are you? Frank: Not at all. Jamie: Too bad. You know what Frank, it is a little early for vodka. Would you like some tea? Frank: Tea would be nice.
Jamie: <Puts on the kettle.> No milk though, it curdles before I can finish it. I have some powdered creamer around here somewhere if you’d like but it always gives me the runs... Frank: Did you know her? Jamie: Who? Frank: The woman who lived here before? Jamie: Of course, Elsie. Her family just trashed her stuff. But they had great food at the reception. It’s nice stuff hmm? Here’s a lesson for you Frank: fashion and taste don’t have a gender. Unless you’re speaking french. Who knew tomatoes were female? No wonder I don’t like eating them. Frank: I don’t like tomatoes. Jamie: Oh I thought. Frank: What? Jamie: Nothing. <Smiles to himself.> <Knock at the door.> Laurie: I called about the apartment. Is this room 103? There’s no numbers on these doors. Jamie: No, 103 is across the hall. Laurie: Thanks. <Frank and Jamie make eye contact. Franks starts to stand to leave. Kettle starts to boil, music played for dramatic tension.> Frank: I should probably go. Jamie: But you haven’t had your tea. Frank: I’m fine. Jamie: <locks bolt and music cuts.> You were saying no one was expecting you anywhere and we were having such a nice time. <Long pause, Jamie and Frank stare-down before there is a knock at door.>
Laurie: I went to the other apartment, no one was home. Jamie: You’ll have to wait until she returns. Laurie: You are Jamie right? Frank: This is the apartment, he just likes games. Jamie: Sorry, I wasn’t expecting company. Laurie: We chatted on the phone. I’m Laurie. Jamie: Of course, how could I forget? I’m so sorry from our phone conversation I thought you were a man. <Glance at Frank> Laurie: I could have a penis on me somewhere. Jamie: You certainly know how to keep a man’s attention. Frank: Hi I’m Frank. Laurie: You a student? Frank: Yeah why? Laurie: Figures. Students take jobs for less money in this city, all the cheap apartments. Jamie: We must give them a chance to make their own mistakes Laurie. Laurie: Students make bad tenants. They’re late on payments. Frank: And what are you? Laurie: How much is it? Jamie: $500 a month. <pause as Jamie prepares the tea from the kettle.> Would you like some tea? Laurie: What are we, nuns? Jamie: My thoughts exactly. (Pulls out the vodka again Frank gives a look.) You had your chance.
Laurie: And this is it? Jamie: The grand tour done with a wave of the hand. And my bedroom, but that’s not for you. Him maybe. Laurie: So are you getting out of the city for a reason? Frank: He told me he’s getting out of his lease. Laurie: Yeah, that’s why I’m asking people don’t get out of a lease in a hurry without a reason. Especially for $500 month. Jamie: No reason. Nothing sinister if that’s what you’re asking. Laurie: I wasn’t. Jamie: Too bad, I was hoping I gave off an air of mystery. Frank: Hey! I was here first. Jamie: You know if you fight each other I won’t stop you. No scratching though, I want a clean fight. Frank: Do you know him? Laurie: I know his kind. Jamie: You have good taste. Laurie: What do your parents do? Frank: Why do you ask? Laurie: You’re not here by luck right? You’re here on their money. I’m just curious. Frank: My family runs a mink farm near Ottawa. Laurie: They still have those? Jamie: Do people really still wear mink? Frank: Some people do, but it’s a dying industry. Jamie: Well certainly for the mink.
Laurie: Just wait for the trend where celebrities carrying around a living mink. “Why kill them when you can wear them live?” Frank: They’re vicious they will bite you. Jamie: So will a lot of celebrities. Laurie: I can move in tomorrow and I can pay you extra until the lease is over. Frank: How much extra? Jamie: I’m not ready to move out until the end of the month. How can I be expected to pack all of this so quickly? Laurie: I’ll sleep on the couch then, pay half until then. Frank: I’ll pay half and I can help you pack. Jamie: Well I could use a man around the house. Laurie: I’ll put out the garbage. Jamie: I put out my own garbage. Laurie: I don’t know about that, Frank’s still here. Jamie: I have an idea. How about you pay half and you pay half and I’ll stay here to the end of the month? Laurie: What do we get out of the deal? Jamie: My company. Song 3 No title yet - to be written Scene 2: The Rooftop. <Frank and Jamie are on the roof over-hang outside their window enjoying the sun. Jamie is wearing an over-sized sunhat, and holding a pair of binoculars.> Frank: Where did you get that ridiculous hat?
Jamie: Closet. Frank: You’re not going to get a tan like that. Jamie: I don’t tan, I beige. <Laurie emerges on the roof.> Laurie: Any women? Jamie: One. Laurie: Where the hell are all the lesbians? Jamie: Saskatchewan. <Frank emerges on the roof.> Laurie: How are you doing mink man? Jamie: I think he’s more of an otter. Laurie: Or a bear? Jamie: Maybe in a few years. Laurie: After a few cheeseburgers. Jamie: Or are you a vegetarian Frank? Laurie: I bet he eats all sorts of meat. Frank: Fuck off. Laurie: Please, manners. Jamie: I thought you came from good breeding. Frank: Oh, and who raised you? Jamie: Wolves. Laurie? Laurie: My family all lives in Cape Breton.
Frank: That’s a shame. Laurie: We don’t talk a lot. But they’re not talkative people at the best of times. Jamie: Well, you are a lesbian. <Laurie hits Jamie> Laurie: And you? Jamie: <dead pan> My mother got caught in a bear trap and had to gnaw her own leg off. My father was skinned by hunters and worn as a coat, at the age of 7 I was sent to live with my aunt a domesticated huskie living on Baffin island. Frank: Where in Cape Breton? Laurie: A little fishing community on the water, but I never liked fish. Jamie: How unexpected. Do you like tomatoes? Laurie: Of course. Jamie: Of course. <smiles> Frank: Why are you both still in Halifax? Laurie: Close to family. Jamie? Jamie: I suffer from big fish small pond syndrome. And I have such a big fish. Frank: I’m just here for school, all my friends went to Toronto. Laurie: And you wanted to go east? Frank: The only thing that stopped me was the ocean. Jamie: Or were you running away? Frank: I don’t scare easily. Jamie: Well then I’ll try extra hard. Laurie: I think that fear is important. Frank: Fear is what screws everything up. The only constant in this world is change if you can’t accept that you’re doomed.
Jamie: Fear is for horror movies, when it comes down to it people are cowards. Laurie:: I’m sure you’d be real great if an axe murderer were after us. Jamie: That’s why I don’t date lumberjacks anymore. Laurie: Do you really think fear ruins people? Frank: Yes. Laurie: You know what scares me? You. Frank: Me? <Frank takes his shirt off.>
Song 4 No title yet - to be written Trashy 80s Hair Metal Laurie: Young people just don’t give a shit, strutting around like they own the place. You fucking students ruin this city. Jamie: We all get old Laurie, he’ll get his punishment. <Notices Frank.> You shouldn’t suntan like that. Frank: Why? Jamie: You can get away it for a bit but it will catch up with you. You’ll start looking old beyond your years. Frank: It’s hot. I don’t hate the sun like you do. Jamie: I don’t hate it, I just don’t understand why it has to be so bright. <pouts> Frank: I’ll put on sunscreen if you’re concerned. Laurie: I think he would prefer to do that for you. Frank: Oh? Laurie: Don’t play naive.
Jamie: Here’s the sunscreen. You can put it on yourself. <Franks puts some on> Frank: I’m surprised no one else is on the roof. Laurie: Maybe they have day jobs. Jamie: They’re all old and inside hiding from the heat. Laurie: It feels hotter inside. There’s a breeze out here at least. Frank: Jamie can you do my back? Jamie: <Looking at Laurie.> What? He asked. <hands her binoculars.> Laurie: They’ve almost totally destroyed that park across the street. Why doesn’t anyone care? Jamie: Mmm construction workers. <shrugs> Soon it will be all business casual on this street. Frank: Who actually likes vinyl siding? Laurie: Budget makers and bad city planners. Most traffic in the city and their barely hobbling towards getting their act together. Frank: Watch out, 5 years it’ll be gentrified and we’ll be out on our ass. Jamie: We need another explosion. Laurie: Can you do me now? Jamie: Frank would be happy to. Frank: Thanks. Scene 3: Secrets <Jamie is walking around the apartment getting ready. He leaves for the bathroom. Laurie and Frank enter from the front door mid conversation. They have slushies and cotton candy and are returning from the fair and having a great time. Nothing they say should be said seriously> Frank: ...You don’t understand no one wins those things, it’s totally rigged. Laurie: So you don’t believe in luck? Frank: I also don’t believe in angels or ghosts or the boogey man.
Laurie: Oh come on, you don’t believe it was luck that you won the ring toss? Frank: Everyone won a prize. Laurie: Don’t tell me that! It diminishes the value of your gift. Frank: You know I’m beginning to think this was the worst date I’ve ever been on. Laurie: Hey! I said I might put out. Now isn’t that lucky? You should have come out with us Jamie. Jamie?! <Bangs on his door.> Frank: Hey, you’re going to wake the neighbours. Laurie: Good, someone needs to wake them I haven’t seen a single person since we moved in. Frank: Maybe they’re all ghosts? Laurie: <Jokingly makes a ghost wail. The pipes seem to respond to her, and she gets quiet and serious.> Sometimes this place gives me the creeps. Frank: It has a certain style. Laurie: It’s not that. I think it’s just that I don’t like the portraits. Frank: I find them comforting. <Jamie emerges in a black ensemble and veil.> Jamie: Well you shouldn’t, they’re all dead. Laurie: I wanted to take them down, it’s getting near the end of the month. Frank: If you don’t mind. Jamie: They stay. Laurie: Why? Jamie: They’re covering cracks in the wall. Laurie: I can fix the cracks. I fixed the oven and the fridge, I can fix the cracks. Jamie: Laurie bless your heart I thank myself every day for letting you live here. Frank, you need to pull your weight.
Laurie: Let us take them down. Jamie: It’s non-negotiable. Frank: Where are you off to? Jamie: Funeral for Mr. Merrigan. Laurie: It’s a little late for a funeral. Frank: I’m sorry to hear that Jamie. Jamie: Poor fellow died of one of those ridiculous diseases no one dies of anymore. Arthritis. He lost the ability to masturbate poor guy. Don’t wait up! <exits> Laurie: We’re taking them down. Frank: He just told us to... Laurie: This is my apartment at the end of the month. Frank: Our apartment. Laurie: Fine, our apartment. We will pack them up carefully and they will be gone. Frank: But not thrown out. Laurie: Not thrown out, but ready to go, with him to wherever he moves. We have our stuff to put up. Frank: We’ll be careful? Laurie: More than careful. If I have to sleep with you in a livingroom until the end of the month I don’t want to look at those weird pictures anymore. Frank: Deal. <Pipes rumble.> Frank: What was that? Laurie: It’s just the pipes. Fine, I’ll start. <The moment Laurie removes a portrait there’s a light flash the pipes vibrate and the door to the closet swings open revealing a pile of junk.>
Scene 4: Out of the Closet <The room now has junk spilling out of the closet. Jamie stands in the middle of the room in a wedding gown.> Laurie: You have a room full of Elsie’s stuff. This apartment had a bedroom. Jamie: Hardly anything, more of a walk in closet. Laurie: That’s one of the pre-requisites to a walk in closet, you need to be able to walk into it! Frank: How much of her stuff did you throw out? Jamie: Oh this isn’t all Elsie’s. I have a certain lifestyle to uphold. I threw most of it out. Gathered other items from the departures of other people in the building. Laurie: You kept an entire room of it. Jamie: It’s a small room. Song 5 I Want it All- Adrian is currently working on this Pop rock Laurie: No family member came by at all to take any of Elsie’s stuff? Jamie: None, I wonder if they even know what happened. Laurie: Do you feel bad for her? Jamie: Sure I feel bad for her. The poor woman had no one. I threw her a small little funeral myself but I couldn’t get in touch with anyone she knew. I put the call out to people in the building and a few came, but they didn’t know her. The closest thing she has to family were the people who said hi in the stairwell. Frank: You told me her family threw her a funeral. Jamie: We were the closest thing she had to family. Laurie: The wedding dress looks ridiculous on you. Jamie: You’re right, white really isn’t my colour. A shame, I really thought I could do something with it. Frank, are you interested? Frank: We can throw it out. Jamie: Fine, fine. Laurie: There have been two bedrooms this whole time and Frank and I have been sleeping in
the living room. Jamie: It’s a large closet, barely enough room for a bed and I told Frank he could share the room with me. Frank: I never agreed to that. Laurie: Jamie, how many people die in the building in the course of a year? Jamie: I don’t know a bunch. There’s a lot of old people who live here, and it’s musty, probably not the best place for people with breathing conditions. You know the worst part is I don’t think anyone ever wore this dress. It’s a waste of a good dress. You know in some countries they wear white to funerals. Frank: Do you go to all the funerals? Jamie: No, that’s ridiculous. What if I dyed it? I’ve always been told that blue is my colour, but I prefer red. Laurie: Jamie, why are there so many? Jamie: <pause, suddenly serious.> Do you believe in ghosts? Laurie: Of course. Frank: No. Jamie: Of course, no. That’s ridiculous. I look a bit like a ghost in this dress don’t you think? Like Mrs Havishum waiting for her husband. Laurie: Why do you go to so many funerals? Jamie: I guess I sort of believe in ghosts. I get upset when people just don’t care. Imagine looking down from above and this necklace <picks up necklace> this necklace your father gave to you on your 18th birthday and you saved for your whole life is just being carted away. I don’t keep everything, I have taste, but I find so many things absolutely delicious. Like that bracelet of yours, who’s going to get that when you’re gone? Laurie: Well we’re going to need to clear it out. Jamie: I would prefer you didn’t. How about this: you both go out again, treat yourself to a drink at the bar across the street and when you get back it will be ready to move in. Unzip me. <steps out of the dress wearing some outrageous underwear> Here, take this with you to the trash on your way out. <hands them the wedding dress.> See? I’m well on my way.
Frank: You don’t want help? Jamie: Not at all, I got myself in this situation and I can get myself out. Frank: We’ll stay to help. Jamie: You’re the ones who took down one of my pictures and then went through my private closet, and are insulting my choices. Laurie: Okay, Frank, let’s go. Jamie: <picks up a box> See? My first load of stuff. I’ll follow right behind to the dumpster. Frank: You should probably put on some clothes. Jamie: Picky picky. Fine you go on ahead. When you get back you’ll be amazed. Frank: I can take that box. Jamie: No. I want to go through it first. Make certain there’s not something important here for me. Frank: Are you sure you don’t need our help? Jamie: Of course not! Have fun. <closes door behind them. Turns to the closet.> Not them! Not this time. You just had a sailor last month, and an entire band the month before that, you’re insatiable I keep trying to find old queers for you, but like Laurie said this city is over-run with students. Ugh there was a time when everyone preferred to be closeted, people practically ran into you. What about my needs? A walk in closet with beautiful clothes why can’t you just be normal? <pipes start vibrating.> Fine, fine. We’ll make a compromise Scene 5: Hook up Frank: I don’t understand why you got the room. Laurie: Positive thinking. <Jamie calls from the other room> Jamie: Laurie deserves it, she’s been sleeping on the ground long enough. And if you hate the couch so much I have a bed big enough for two people in here! Frank: It’s fine.
Laurie: Now if you don’t mind, I’m going off to bed. <Jamie enters> Jamie: So soon? You don’t have a bed in there yet. Laurie: I’m exhausted. Jamie: Stay up a little longer so we can enjoy your company. Don’t go yet. Laurie: I would I just... Let go of my hand. Jamie: You have nice hands. Laurie: Thanks? Jamie: Maybe you should sleep outside, under the stars. It’s probably cooler out there. Laurie: I’m libel to roll off. It’s fine, I slept on the floor in here, I’ll sleep on the floor in there. So unless you’re going to offer me your bed... I didn’t think so. Jamie: You really can’t sleep in there. Laurie: What? Jamie: It’s my place for one more day and I’ll be out of your hair and you can sleep wherever you want. Laurie: I want to sleep in there. Jamie: In one more day. Frank: Don’t be unreasonable Jamie. <pause.> Laurie: Fine! I’ll sleep in the bathtub, fuck! <Laurie leaves> Frank: She’s just going to go in there anyway Jamie: I just didn’t want to be here when it happened.
Frank: So where’d you really put the stuff? Jamie: In one of the other apartments, they’re all empty. Frank: I mean, really? Jamie: First star to the right and second on til morning. Frank: Do you ever tell the truth? Jamie: I try, but no one listens. Frank: You should try harder. Jamie: I think you both have good souls. Frank: How’d you end up here Jamie? Jamie: I’ve made a lot of mistakes. Frank: Me too. Jamie: I’ve never seen them so plainly before. <looking at the portraits.> Frank: Where are you going? Jamie: Nowhere <said defeatist> Frank: So you’re not leaving? Jamie: Oh fuck. Frank, what kind of guy do you think I am? You think I’m weak, you think I’m dumb what the hell have you seen of the world? Song 6 Suck the Life Out of You- to be written Punk/Pop Purpose: Frank confronts Jamie over whether he intends to leave the apartment at all and reveals the feelings he has. Other than the obvious gayness of the title, it’s also meant to forshadow the room which literally will “suck the life out of you.” Song should verge between kissing or killing. Blood, wrestling, yelling. Potential inspiration: CSS- Alala http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cnOvMFnRvs Peaches and Iggy - Kick it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4-n1ISQyqU&feature=fvst Song 7 Untitled Laurie piece- to be written
Focus on the vocals Purpose: Pipes rumble and Laurie emerges from the bathroom where she’s been sleeping in the bathtub since Jamie refuses to allow anyone to stay in the empty room. Laurie is scared, uncertain of the weird sounds, uncertain of how lucky she has been to find this apartment and these friends. Song ends with the sound of pipes getting louder, the closet door vibrating and the band becoming possessed asking for souls and Jamie and Frank emerging from the bedroom. Song 8 I Never Meant for it to Be this Way- to be written Unknown style Purpose: Jamie explains he was trying to save them and runs to the door struggling to keep it (and the portal to hell) closed. Portraits come alive, wails from the band, a portal is opening and Jamie is supposed to feed them to the closet like he’s done many times before but this time he cares about them and doesn’t want to. Song 9 Burn burn burn - to be written Rock Purpose: Laurie takes control, her voice rises above everyone else and calls for the whole place to “burn, burn, burn” so they can all escape alive. A struggle, the portal opens, there’s fire and the song ends in blackout. Song 10 Reprise TBC Purpose: The whole place has burned down, Jamie didn’t survive, Frank and Laurie sit in the rubble.
This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
We've moved you to where you read on your other device.
Get the full title to continue listening from where you left off, or restart the preview.