N N

JOO THINGS A

....
M<C
Lt)X

Lt)

en
MLLI

.,_

X • oen
.:o<C
0-'

TEEN AGE
.'SEI In
f il)\I

.-'
.<C

a..C

,. ••

,,
··~'O:~t~~'l:;I) FUJi
f)!. It'. J\I,

Boy
;~.~
j~

WANTS TO KNOW
PRESTIGE PRINCIPLES REPUTATION SOCIETY.
PLACE
STAMP

PERSONALITIES POSSI BILlTIES . ROMANCE SEX . COURTSHIP LOVE .... .. . . ... . . .. . ENGAGEMENT INTRODUCTIONS .. PASSION

COURTESY LONELINESS. INFLUENCE ETHICS .. PROBLEMS MARRIAGE.

HERE

9aitlr Clinic
P. O. BOX 353 OALLAS, TEXAS 75221

CHAPTER

I

, , , From Adventure Tales to Ponytails

WHY DOES A BOY BEGIN CARRYING A COMB AND BEING CONCERNED ABOUT THE WAY HE LOOKS AT A CERTAIN AGE? WHY DOES HE SAY 'GOODBYE' TO ELECTRIC TRAINS AND SLINGSHOTS? WHY DOES HE CHANGE HIS INTEREST OVER TO GIRLS? You find that girls are not nearly as much of a pest as you once thought they were, While your back was turned they have turned into goddesses. You suddenly realize that you must call a girl and ask her for a date. Now just how must you do it, and what if she refuses to say yes? A bigger question than that is, what if she accepts? How will you break the ice? How will you fit into the picture? Remember, first a girl is in the same boots that you are, and she is just as human. Girls have as much or more problems than you do. A t times you will think you cannot live without these girls, other times you will think that you cannot live with them. Society has changed since the Model-T days. You may think no one understands your problems, but remember, human nature remains the same forever. Other people have been in your same shoes. You won't ever be able to please them all. You wiJI never be perfect in your build, or in your manners and looks, but you can build a reputation and a character that wiJI be second to none, if you so desire. I WONDER IF I AM NORMAL, OF IF I AM AN AVERAGE BOY'! Nature has planned that you begin dating later than 1

a girl your age. She matures at an earlier age than you do. There is an exception. Sometimes you see a boy who has been raised in society, and with mostly adults. He hasn't been running around with other boys. He shoots up in height almost overnight. He matures faster. He will marry at an earlier age, and so he should. Most boys mature slower than a girl. She is married and is raising a family before the love-bug bites him too hard. If you are in this group, know that you are not romantically retarded. Another girl will soon be along. You will fall in love with her almost overnight. Proceed at your own pace, even if the girls who wear spike heels travel faster than you do. HOW DO I ASK A GIRL FOR A DATE? Don't worry about this. It will come naturally. Ask well in advance. Be specific. Be courteous and polite. It is best not to let someone do the asking for you. You may do so in person or by telephone. Have your decision made where you are going and what you intend to do. Girls want you to take the lead and they want you to be specific. They want to feel secure. They don't want to be the boss. Neither do they want you to be timid or afraid. Let the girl know when you ask her where you want to go and when; then she can decide whether to go or not. Be considerate, and try not to ask her to fit into something she resents. Have J'our eye on her feelings and also her interests. MUST I DATE A GIRL OLDER THAN I? Sometimes a boy matures quickly. It may be possible that he knows a girl who is a year or two older than himself. He and she may have a mutual interest. They may have mutual goals and feel relaxed together. As a rule, the normal girl is interested in a boy older than herself. Usually a boy is not looking for a mother relationship. As a rule nature does not plan it that way. 2

MUST I DATE A GIRL MUCH YOUNGER THAN I? People may think you are a bad wolf, and you might be even if you are in sheep's clothing. You may be accused of robbing the cradle. Public opinion may amount to more than you think for. What people think is important, but what you are thinking and whether or not that you are thinking at all, is very important. After all, you should consider what is best for the girl. You should not waste her valuable time, deprive her of friends of her own age, or rush her into a premature society that is far beyond her. I will admit there may be an exception, but I don't think you would like to be an exception. SUPPOSE A GIRL DOES NOT ACCEPT A DATE? You can usually discern whether or not she is rejecting or if she is just too busy. She may have a reason for not going with you. It may be your reputation; it could be the occasion or the place that you want to take her. She may like you but she may have another boy friend. Suggest another time under different circumstances. If she still turns you down, save your effort for other girls. There are more pretty girls than one. If a girl is willing to go on a future date, she will usually let you know so, regardless of the excuses she uses at this time. Maybe you are not her type. Don't let this discourage you. Your type will come around soon. They are right around the corner. WHAT IF I BREAK. A DATE? A reasonable girl will first listen to your reason for breaking a date. Take courage. Be courteous. Don't jump at conclusions and imagine that she has written you off her list. 3

Tell her the truth. If it could not be helped, she will understand. If you have plainly done her an injustice, she will usually accept your apology and forgive you. Never break a date because of a better prospect. If you do, that is unforgiveable. Practice this, and you will become a heel, and everyone will know it. You will soon become a poor romantic risk. A girl is usually more sensitive than you are. SHOULD I CALL HER FOR A DATE AT THE LAST MINUTE? You shouldn't if you value your reputation. Don't have the false notion that your looks and your popularity will make up for your being clumsy and careless. If it becomes necessary to ask for a date at the last moment, then be frank and give her an explanation. Be honest and truthful, otherwise you will always have a falsehood to tell her. She will appreciate an honest explanation and you will be forgiven the first and maybe the second time. HOW MUCH NOTICE MUST I GIVE THE GIRL? A girl requires more planning and preparation for a date than does a boy. All dates are regular dates as far as they are concerned. Let the girl enjoy the anticipation of the date. Try to give her a week's notice. Don't cause her to have a nervous breakdown. Remember that her social security is at stake: IS A BLIND DATE IN ORDER? A blind date is sometimes all right, if the go-between is not blind. Don't trust all match-makers, who do not know the mutual interests of both parties. Who would know more about what you want than you do? If you are a stranger to the girl, be sure and avoid traps that could be set for you, such as nightclubs, roadhouses, parked cars and such places. You may be mote secure and feel more relaxed at a school, at a church or at someone's home.
4

If you are too shy to ask for a date, you may be too shy to enjoy one after you get it. To say the least, it is a risky piece of business. One of the two of you will most always be disappointed. WHAT MUST I SAY TO HER FATHER WHEN r CALL FOR THE GIRL? Be courteous. Speak to him as if he has given his permission. Enter into a conversation with him - any conversation that he wants to begin. Be at ease. Act natural. He may be nervous, too. At least you both like the same girl. You have a mutual interest. You can at least be a good listener if you don't know what to say. Be yourself and talk about the things that would interest him. IS IT ALL RIGHT TO DOUBLE DATE? 1t depends on the mutual interests of all parties. Do they have the same standards and convictions? If you are double dating with your 'boy' friend, he might embarrass your girl by driving with one hand. One of the four is more likely to make a discord. Your girl's girlfriend may be too loud or make unnecessary advances toward you, which would prove to make someone feel unrelaxed. MUST J CALL FOR THE GIRL AT HOME? It is better than a street corner. Her parents will have more confidence in you. You respect the girl don't you? Then try to show her parents that you do. Show them that you are a human being and not a wolf in sheep's clothing. At her home you can get acquainted with her quicker and learn to evaluate her.· If it ever becomes necessary to meet her at other places, make sure it is all right with her and her parents. It becomes easier after you have won their confidence. The girl who consents to being picked up by someone she does not know is exposing herself to

r,

violence. Her reputation is at stake, and she really takes on the wrong label. Just a pick-up dating can prove dangerous to boys also. Many traps are laid along the way. Your reputation may take a nosedive. A girl who is in demand can get plenty of good dates without running this kind of risk. SHOULD I DATE A GIRL THAT MY FRIEND DISLIKES? Well, before I can answer that question, I will need to know, "Why don't they like her?" and why is it that you do like her? Are your friends of value to you? Just how much does the girl mean to your life? Can you afford to lose your friend in order to gain the girl? If the girl has a bad reputation, you may profit by dropping her. If your friends are only gossiping, then you should defend the girl's character. Your decision will determine the kind of fellow you are. The kind of guy you are, will determine your choice. SHOULD ONE KNOW IF SHE WOULD LIKE A SECOND DATE? Usually you can. She can tell if you have given the best of your courtesy and respect. For instance, if you did not laugh with the girl, or if she did not laugh with you, you can feel a discord. All I have to say is, cheer up, there are other girls and some will come along which are your type. If you had a good time, it is a pretty good sign that she also had a good time. So try again. SHOULD I ASK FOR ANOTHER DATE WHEN I CARRY HER HOME OR WAIT AND CALL HER? If I were you, I wouldn't rush things. Why not take an inventory. Either you or she might regret haste. Either of you may suddenly remember a previous en6

gagement. Her parents may have other plans for her at that time. Rush dates may need to be broken sometimes. Either of you may wonder and imagine a lot of things if the date is broken. SUPPOSE THE GIRL IS MORE POPULAR THAN JAM? If you have the girl for your goal, then work toward your goal. Have self-confidence. That is where many boys fail. They are too quick to have an inferiority complex. If you are disappointed, don't be discouraged. Set your goal high and try again. Don't settle for the second best. If you are seeking popularity only, you may be disappointed. A girl that is not considered a beauty queen may be a more loyal friend and a more interesting companion than a girl who is lifted up with pride and considered popular. Forget your looks. Seek to have a beautiful spirit. Seek to be a loyal friend, and just a plain good guy. Don't expect perfection in yourself or your girl. Then you can relax and enjoy life. HOW CAN I MEET WITH NEW GIRLS WHEN J BREAK UP WITH ONE? It is best not to rush or be too hasty or plunge too quickly. You have plenty of time. Relax and get some emotional relief. Take time to catch up on your homework. Read a while. Bring other things up-to-date. See how things look from the other side of the fence. Take a few days of leisure. Wait until your heart begins to beat normally. Then you can make a rational choice. Be sure that you and the former girl are through. Make a decision. If you are through, burn the bridges. Stop playing her songs. Burn all the old love letters. Return her pictures. Don't worry about finding another
7

girl. You will have plenty to choose from. Be concerned about making the right choice. CAN TWO LIVE AS CHEAP AS ONE? It is a mistake to tell you that. Girls will expect you to spend money. But money is not their main object. She will be reasonable. They are not too much interested in money or looks. They want companionship. They are looking for a good guy who will treat them right. They want you to carry them home at a reasonable time. If you are courteous, cautious and thoughtful, then your success is assured. She had rather have you than all the big promises that you can make her. WHO PLANS THE DATES? You must present them as only suggestions. She likes for you to make requests and not commands. You must be polite and let her make suggestions also. If she likes American food, she may resent going to a Chinese restaurant. Seek to please her. Both of you must cooperate and be sensible, She will detect it if you are a novice in making plans. She will admire you if you have her interests at heart, and if you will give her a part in making these decisions. If you are a good guy, you will consider her wishes as well as your own. WHAT SHOULD BE OUR CONVERSATION? She likes to feel that you are interested in her and what she does. She likes to be asked about her opinion on things. Maybe on current events. She likes to be complimented once in a while, if not real often. It will be all right to compliment her clothes and her actions, if you are sincere. Suddenly the ice will be broken and both of you will be talking at once. You will discover one another's personality and nature. She wants you to be yourself and she does not want you to pose as someone else. After you know that she is

just as nervous and tense as .you are, then soon you will relax and be yourself. Then both of you can talk about what you are really interested in. Be a good listener as well as a good talker. SHOULD I BELIEVE ALL SHE SAYS? If she tells you that you are handsome, sweet, wise, brave, kind, strong and above all the boys in the whole wide world, don't get puffed up. Know that she is just shooting you a line. Don't take these things seriously, She means well, but don't swaIlow the line, hook, bait, sinker and all. She is only kidding and flattering. Come back with a line of your own, but always be sincere and honest. Don't take her for a fall just to drop her. It pays in the long run to be sincere and it could be long. Start out the way that you expect to finish. HOW MUST I TELL HER THAT MY MONEY IS LOW? If you do not take her to the expensive places, she will take the tip. She will gladly go along with what you can afford. She does not want to embarrass you. She will let you do the ordering when you go to a restaurant. It is all right to suggest certain things from the menu. Many times she will be perfectly pleased to go to a nice sand wich place. If she happens to be the extremist kind, it is best to know it as soon as possible, so you can find a girl who is more considerate next time. IS IT ALL RIGHT TO LET THE GIRL PAY FOR SOME THINGS OCCASIONALLY? As a rule the boy should pay for the eats, and so forth, while they are on a trip. She may make up for these things in her home many times when she sees that you are served with food from her mother's kitchen. If you are not a downright lazy boy, you can find
9

plenty of jobs to pay for a few hamburgers and a malt now and then. If the girl happens to be from a family with means, and insists, it is all right to let her pick up the check sometimes. Circumstances alter cases. That is not popular in our times, but it goes over with some girls. SHOULD I EVER TAKE HER TO MY HOUSE? If she is a nice girl, your parents are interested in knowing it. They can soon discern her spirit. It is never all right to carry her to your home while your parents are away. If she is that kind of girl, she will soon ruin your good name in your community. A good name is better to be chosen than a lot of money. There is nothing so important that you cannot wait till your parents are in. Your motive may be right. People's opinions go a long way, whether you think so or not. Your parents may not say anything, but they will have their doubts about the girl. It is not fair to their good name to insist that she come while they are gone. Also, neighbors will start to talk. Her parents will have their doubts about you, too. You will lose confidence in her. It is not worth the risk that you run. These same principles apply to your staying at her house while her parents are away. IS IT O.K. TO USE HER CAR? If the wheel is ever turned over to you, you must guard it, and don't turn it over to someone else. In the first place, you shouldn't take that responsibility, unless it is all right with both her parents and yours. Of course, it is assumed that the car has insurance. You should know that the car requires a special insurance for teen-agers. Because they have more accidents, the insurance is higher. Don't be a kid, at least while you are under the wheel. The grave-yard is full of boys and girls who did not give all their attention to the road signs and the warnings. Cars are not playthings. Unlike 10

a mule, they don't have brains. They run where they are steered. There are hazards to picking up extra passengers. They may hinder your concentration. In case of an accident, they may sue the owner of the car. your reputation is at stake with the girl's parents.' It IS risky for you if you return the car dirty, with an empty tank, or a low tire. Her father will be likely to always check the oil and the speedometer. SHOULD I OWN A CAR FOR THIS PURPOSE? A new car will cost you about one hundred dollars per month. A used car will cost you about the same co~nting repairs, batteries, generators, tires, plugs, re~ p~lrs, seat covers and a score of other things. By the time that you get a ticket for a loud muffler, stall on the expressway, notice that your oil has leaked ont, and y~u have to b~ pushed, you will be so disgusted that you ~lll so.on s~ll It for the interest, or for the payment that ~s against It. You will feel like trading it in or selling It, or get roller skates instead. If you must learn your own lesson the hard way why don't you wait until you get enough money, pay' cash and get a bargain in a used car. Fix it up yourself as ~u.ch as possible. Keep it clean and only run it when It ]S absolutely necessary to do so. SHALL I ASK HER IF I CAN COME IN WHEN I CARRY HER HOME? She will invite you in, if conditions are right. If not you wouldn'~ ,,:ant to go in. Her parents may be trYin~ ~o sleep. If It IS not a late' hour, you may go in, if she ~nvltes you. Let her offer you the food. If you raid her Icebox, you may eat the food intended for others. That woul~ be a. fast way to lower your reputation and your prestige with her parents. Remember, she is the one to do the inviting. Don't
11

ask questions or feel badly if she does not invite you in. She knows the details better than you do. SHOULD I HAVE HER HOME LATE OR EARLY? If her parents want her home early, remember they are interested in the same jewel you are. The setting for the jewel also is important. Don't think they are old-fashioned. Don't rush things. Wait until you have proved yourself to be a boy instead of a bore. You have to be up early for school in the morning. It is a good thing to ask her parents what time they expect their girl home. It will pay dividends. It is best to know their desires at the beginning. If for any reason it is not possible for you to return the girl on time, in case of emergency, always phone the parents. Soon you will crawl right into their hearts. SHOULD SHE HAVE TO ASK ME TO GO HOME? You will soon learn the answers to these question, but don't wait to learn in a way that would damage your reputation. The girl may be of the bashful sort and not good at making a speech, pointing at the clock, or handing you your hat. It is your part to be considerate and know the time. If you will stand and tell her you enjoyed the evening, she will appreciate it and know what you mean. Another date will be sure to come. Don't be offended if she tells you the hour is late and she must be in bed. You should be embarrassed instead of being offended. Being respectful, considerate, courteous and human is the best insurance you can get. It pays its benefits while you are still living. MUST I STAND ON THE DOORSTEP? You shouldn't stand there too long. Parents resent this. Most times the girl does. You will soon know. You shouldn't make your departure a long drawn out affairs. You should act like you expect to see her again.

I

Remember, it is not goodbye, it is only goodnight. What you have to say will keep. If you happen to notice her rattling her keys, and moving near the door, don't let her know that you are a dumb ox; say goodnight 'and I had a nice evening. Your reputation will mount up in a hurry. Your good salesmanship will sell yourself to her and her folks. Being considerate and using your sense goes a long way.

WHY ARE GIRLS SO MOODY? Like yourself, they are constantly going through changes during their teens. They are unpredictable. They have mixed emotions. They are not yet prepared for maturity. But it comes anyway. She is self-conscious, embarrassed, afraid, delighted and in most every mood imaginable. She goes through things which are inconvenient and somtimes painful. At certain periods she is depressed and very sensitive. You feel sometimes you can't stand to be with them. Other times you can't bear to be without them. Examine yourself; maybe you are a litIe moody at times yourself. WHY DO SOME GIRLS LAUGH SO MUCH? Sometimes they are nervous. Maybe they have an inferiority complex. They are covering up their uneasy feelings. This does not mean that they are silly or have a low IQ. They want to make an impression. They use a giggle sometimes to make up for their failure in society. You may say it is a mask for their lack of self-confidence. It is put on to keep you from knowing their real feelings sometimes. All this proves that you have not yet learned how to help her relax and feel at ease. Examine yourself. Maybe you have not fitted into the picture right. WHY DQES MY GIRL DRESS UP SO MUCH? Some of them are not sure of themselves at certain 13

12

ages. They are covering up for their lack of self confidence. Maybe she has not learned you yet. She has not yet had enough experience. She will learn clothes are worn for comfort. She will soon learn that to be simple is the best way to express her personality. Then you can be partly at fault for not being specific about the date you make with her. How did she know where she was going? If you are in the habit of changing your mind and your plans; if you are in the habit of going to another place; how does she know what place to dress for? Let her know well in advance whether it is to be formal or informal, whether it is to church or a hot dog stand.

CHAPTER II BECOMING MORE SERIOUS

WHY DOES SHE THINK THAT I AM SERIOUS BEFORE I AM? Maybe she believes what she wants to believe. Maybe you have built her up for a fall. Could it be because of the line that you have been handing her? She is more sensitive than you. How could she know whether or not you meant all those things that you have been telling her? How did she know how to take those nice words, and that line that you threw? Maybe you should remember the golden rule, and not take her so fast. WHY DOES SHE TELL EVERYTHING TO OTHER GIRLS? She is glad to be seen with you. She believes that you like her; you told her that you did. You should appreciate the fact that she likes you and not be ashamed of her telling other girls. You are not ashamed of being with her, are you? Of course, if she is betraying your confidence, it is good to have a little talk with her, or maybe you should not trust her with too many secrets until she proves herself. Let her grow up. She will right away. She can't help it if she likes you a lot, if you talk to her about it be nice to her and consider that she has feelings which are very sensitive. WHY IS MY GIRL STUCK-UP? Girls are not conceited just because they look in the mirror. They are getting rid of their doubts. She is trying to decide who she really is like, and if she would have as good a chance with you as the next girl. She works long hours. She practices how to walk; she

14

15

works on her actions. She wants to be presentable. Many times their actions are to cover up their lack of selfconfidence. They will not admit that to you. When YOU see the real girl, she may be all-right. I SUPPOSE I LET HER IN ON MY SCHOOL WORK? That should compliment her. She will be happy and feel honored. You should respect her feelings and be sure and not waste her time if she consents to help you. You are not respected by her if you waste your time and then ask for her time. You must cooperate and do your best. Don't think that she won't know. If you are sincere she will feel flattered. Be nice to her and she will give you some of her time when you need help. WHY DOESN'T MY GIRL GET BETTER GIRLS FOR HER ASSOCIATES? They may think the same thing about you. Maybe those girls chose her because she is a real nice girl and has a nice personality. That is not a dumb thing to do. Because you thought the same thing when you chose her. Examine yourself and see if you are not a little jealous. YOl1could be thankful that she chose you as a friend. She is pretty wise after all in choosing friends, isn't she? People are friendly because they show themselves friendly. If her friends make her feel relaxed and happy, then you should be glad and not be critical. Of course, if her girl friend turns out to be an immoral girl, she could effect your girl's reputation, and in turn your reputation would be in jeopardy. In this case, you should have a nice friendly talk with the girl. She will appreciate the chance to please you if you come at her in the right way. By all means, don't tell her of her faults before other people. SHOULD I GO WITH A MORE INTELLIGENT GIRL THAN I AM"!
I

J
!\

'~

If everyone had a policy of not dating someone who is more intelligent, there would be very little dating. There are not many people who have the same IQ. You may be better at some things than your girl. She may make better grades in some subjects than you do. Find out what you are good at and be proud of it. Don't try to be something that you are not. She will appreciate it. It is better for her to know your real self now than later. WHY DOES MY GIRL FEEL BADLY IF I DON'T CALL HER? She likes for you to be truthful, reliable and someone whom she can depend on. Her pride resents being let down. She is more sensitive to disappointment than you are. Remember, she will only stand so much of this. If all the other girls find out that you not reliable, then you are done for. They will form a union and go on strike; then you will be left out. Don't shake her confidence. Trust her like you would like for her to trust you. Treat her as you would like to be treated. This does not mean that you should spend several hours tying up your parents' phone and making her folks resent you by wasting the girl's time. Don't lower your prestige with the ones with whom you are sharing this jewel. WHY DOES A GIRL TRY TO MAKE A BOY JEALOUS. Whatever you do, don't let her know that you are jealous. That will make matters worse. When she sees that she is getting nowhere, then she will change her course and do differently. Some of them don't feel secure; they want to run a test to see if they can influence others as they do you. Remain her friend. Hand her hack a nice line. It is

17

all-right to let her know that you care, but be courteous; be considerate. Compliment her. Tell her that you enjoy her company. Why not smile instead of frown? Soon you will creep right into her heart. Time will fix everything up if you will not rush the matter. Remember, Rome was not built in a day. Consider this: some of your feelings may be only imaginations. SUPPOSE SHE PHONES ME TOO MUCH? Well, in this case you can kindly and frankly tell her that you are busy. Tell her that your phone cannot be tied up for hours. Tell her that your parents need the phone and they resent you wasting your own time. She will appreciate that. Maybe the same thing is true on the other end of the line. Be sincere. Use diplomacy. You could first drop her a helpful hint. Most of the time she will take a hint if she cares for you and if she cares for your time and feelings. Let her know that you are too busy. Let her know that you are too intelligent to say the same thing over and over for hours on the phone. When she sees her mistake she will like you better than ever before. ' WHY DOES SHE TRY TO CORRECT ME IN MY DRESS AND MANNER? -It is because she is a novice. When she becomes more matured, she will see that a boy is a boy. She will learn to take you as you are and not expect you to be absolutely perfect. Someday she will love you so much that she cannot see your faults. Another thing, you may profit by this friendly, constructive criticism. Just be sure that you do not ever become henpecked. If you do, she will think less of you. Take a lesson from this and be sure that you don't expect her to be a perfectionist. Try to love her spirit and personality instead of all of her acts. Consider the motive that she has. Realize her motives are good. She will improve later on.

WHY CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS INSTEAD OF BEING SWEETHEARTS? If that is really what you want, you should be very frank at the beginning and make it plain to her. Then she will know and not be drawing on her imagination. It is not right to take her for a high ride and then let her fall. You will flatter her if you let her know that she is trustworthy; that you can relax in her company. She will then trust you and consider you better company than her girl friends. In fact, this is how all courtships should begin. Most of the time, if the boy and girl are attracted to one another, they will not always remain just friends. WHY ARE GIRLS SO CHANGEABLE? Well, I don't think that girls are any more fickle than the boys are. The truth of the matter is, they like to shop around. If you have not yet given her a lease on your life, how can you expect her to give you her deathless devotion? Most everyone looks over a menu before they make the order. For instance, how many different girls have you dated in the last year? The time will come when both of your shopping days will be over. You will no longer need the menu. You both will have made your decision. The order will have been made. You will sit across from each other at the table and you will have plenty of time to look each other in the face. As she grows older your eyes will grow dimmer and she will look just as well as ever to you. You will not exactly fall in love, but you will grow in love. WHY DO GIRLS CHOOSE OTHER GIRLS FOR COMPANIONS SO MUCH? Sometimes they can relax better and be themselves. They are not in a comfortable position with you at 19

18

certain times. It may be that you could examine yourself. Maybe you don't let them feel at ease. Girls clo not need to strive to impress each other as they do boys. They understand one another and can exchange thoughts and secrets. They can talk to one another about their boyfriends. That is why you should be careful and build a reputation as being a sincere honest good guy. The investment will really payoff. WHY ARE SOME GIRLS SO RUDE WHEN THEY ARE AT HOME? . Maybe you could ask yourself that question. It is for the same purpose that you are rude sometimes. They let off stearn at times when they are in certain moods. Maybe she wants to show her independence and authority while you are around her house. If you will let her know that you do not think it is nice, you will be doing her a great favor. Maybe at home is the only place she can get by in pitching tantrums. It is better that she let off steam here than somewhere else. WHY ARE SOME GIRLS SO CRAZY OVER MOVIE STARS? Well, girls naturally like a hero. Maybe she is seeking for a hero. Consider the fact that you may someday be her star. You will find that vacancy in her life. At certain ages they are full of daydreams and are living in a world of imagination. Let them dream on. Time will change them. Or maybe you can change them. Certain times she may feel unwanted. She feels she is clumsy and dumb. It is very natural for her to look for a superman. You can try your best to fulfill these dreams someday for her. WHY IS MY MOTHER SO INTERESTED IN MY BUSINESS? Well, you would hate to know that she wasn't inter-

ested at all. After all, she has quite an investment in you. It is natural for her to be that way. She may have blue spells and sometimes she may cry. She may become angry, but after all, her experience and age makes her wiser than the little girl who has not yet gone to death's door for you. Be a man. Treat her nice. Respect and appreciate her. Even if you are taller; even if you do have to look down on her from a physical standpoint, respect her as your mother. Then society, and even your girl friend and her family and friends, will soon know that you are a swell guy with a sweet spirit. You can sell yourself to the community and your girl friend by using a little courtesy and common sense. Don't go around wishing that your mother would make a space suit and take off. She will be gone soon enough. Just hope that the next woman in your life will be as interested in you as your mother. WHY DOESN'T MOTHER MIND HER OWN BUSINESS? You are her business. She still does a lot for you. You know she is a peach, so she wants to cling close to you. If you will treat her like she is human, she will do you likewise. It is for your own benefit and reputation. A good name is better to be chosen than riches. Use wisdom and you can make things smoother for both you and her. Learn to live with her and her objections and you will be happy. She believes in you. She has more confidence in you than anyone else. You can destroy that confidence or you can strengthen it. Behind every great man there is a woman. AM I NOT ENTITLED TO MY OWN LIFE? Well, you can restrict and run your own life without fussing and fuming and stepping on your mother's feel-

21

ings. Be courteous and nice. Every wise person will take advice. Why don't you let your parents in on your feelings. Build their trust in you, instead of destroying it. Even your dog licks your hand when you feed him. You should be as thankful as your dog. Don't they feed you? The dog does not bite the hands that feed it. Be a son. Why would you be like a clam? He only comes out of his shell when he wants to eat. Why don't you try and make your parents proud of you. Try letting them in on your thoughts and let them know that you have nothing to hide. After you win their confidence they will give you all the privileges that you will ever need. They want yo.u to get grown. They want you to make your own way and run your own business. I will admit at times that you may feel it necessary to go against their wishes. This may sometimes prove best. But do it with courtesy and respect. Remember courtesy is contagious. Only dumb brutes are immune to it. DON'T MOTHER AND DAD KNOW I AM OLD ENOUGH TO DATE GIRLS? Well, maybe they do. When you are old enough to hang up your own clothes, pick up your underwear and socks, put the top back on the toothpaste, wash out your own bathtub, run the garbage out, and press your own pants, you may be old enough to court a girl. Surely you would not expect that jewel who you are courting to be put in such a setting as this. If your mother sees that you can improve on your manners and home habits she will be proud to present you to a girl. Otherwise, you will reflect on her character. If a boy forgets to do some of these things at home, he might not remember to open the car door, hold his girl's coat, order her hamburger, or even to pay for it. He

might forget where his girl lives, or the time she should be home at night. Prove to your parents that you are grown by learning to take care of yourself before you have a wife to take care of - and maybe children someday. WHAT HOUR SHOULD I BE AT HOME FROM A DATE? There are several factors to consider. First, how old are you? Are you responsible? Can you be trusted? Who goes with you and where are you going? Are you going to a place that might be dangerous? Your parents are interested in your well-being. They may be hunting for you at a certain hour. If you happened to be in serious trouble, you would appreciate them coming to your rescue. It is good to let them know where to find you should a disaster strike at the home. It is all right to seek counsel and advice and come to an understanding. If you are responsible and prove that you can be trusted with the company you keep, the place you go and such like, there is no limit to how' you may be trusted. Trust begets thrust. If you prove worthy with the right kind of public opinion, which you alone can build, you can get about anyone that you set your hat for. SHOULD I GET THE FAMILY CAR? Most of the time it is better to get the family car than to drive some car of your own. But the main question is, can you be trusted? It is less expensive to use the family car; you will make a better impression and have more prestige in your community. The car is usually nicer than what you can afford. In this way the whole town will know that you are worthy of trust. This kind of reputation cannot be bought with money. Your girl and her parent's appreciation of you will rise real fast. No one knows more about you than your own parents. If they can trust you with a nice car, then the

22

girl's parents will trust you with theirs. Then, ultimately they will trust you with this jewel. If you return home with a dent in the fender, an empty tank, soiled seat covers, or with a speeding ticket, then you have no one to blame but yourself. Your own reputation has taken a nosedive. Of course, fenders can be repaired. Seat covers may be replaced, but their girl cannot be replaced. You should be glad that they are careful about your own welfare. After all, if you become a lifelong invalid which results from a car wreck, who will handle and care for you? It won't be the girl that you took out. Maybe you are careful and very responsible, then let your parents know well in advance when you want the car. Choose a time when it will not be in use. If you are reasonable, I am sure things can be worked out. All of you will be happy. SHOULD MOTHER LIKE MY GIRL FRIEND? Your mother is sometimes a little unreasonable maybe. If this is the case, she will be changed tomorrow, when she sees her mistake. But remember, she is interested in your welfare more than anyone in the world. She can discern the girl by the way she acts, dresses, talks and behaves. Your mother has high ambitions for you. That is why you should set your goals high. Your mother is not so concerned about the girl's clothes as what is in them. Most of the time, clothes and countenance can express what the personality is. Remember your mother's intuition has matured by now and she can size the girl up with a sixth sense. After all, your mother used to be a girl. Your parents have worked hard to set a standard. Why not make an effort to keep that standard high? Why would you drag it in the dirt? You are the apple of their eye. The community is watching. People are thinking. They will be talking. You are the one to deter24

mine what they think and what they say. The blame will be laid square on your parents. MUST I SHARE MY SECRETS WITH MY MOTHER? The community should not know your innermost thoughts and business. It is all-right for your mother to know if she will not broadcast it to the community. Your mother can be a great help in giving you counsel. After all, she should know girls. She can guide you around many pitfalls. Sometimes when a mother has no daughters, you can brighten her home and life by bringing in a decent girl to the home for hot chocolate and looking through your favorite records. Your mother and the girl might become lifelong pals. If you prove yourself open and aboveboard with your habits, and manners, your mother will not be so curious and inquisitive. You determine the answer to your problem. If you will be considerate, this will cease to be a problem. SHOULD I BRING HER AND INTRODUCE HER TO MY MOTHER? If you are not ashamed of her, I believe you should do this. Don't think that you can fool the older folks. If she is a nice girl, bring her in, if not, why don't you drop her? If you feel proud of your girl, now is the time to bring her out into the open. If she can stand the test you should be proud to present her. SUPPOSE THEY DON'T APPROVE OF HER? Must I ask for what reason they dislike your companionship? Ask yourself. If they have a good reason, be man enough to admit it. Set your goal high. If you don't play the fool, your parents could leave you som.e of their savings. They have you at heart. They saerifice and save especially for you. The savings could come at a time that you would need it. Ask yourself a question, could it be that you are dating a girl just because they

25

do disapprove of it? Are you doing it for spite? You should seek to reflect credit on your family, instead of disgrace. .Your parents can't choose your girls for you, I will admit. You are the one to make that choice. No one can give you any more sincere advice than your parents. Why don't you get some outsider or maybe some minister, if you think that your parents or friends are a little prej udiced. It is too important not to listen to anyone. Weigh all the liabilities and assets and proceed at your own risk. You are the one who will reap the crop. WHAT WOULD HELP ME TO BE POPULAR WITH MY GIRL? It is not your money, your looks, nor your charms. It is your personality that counts. What attitude do you take about yourself and other boys? Is it easy for you to talk? If it is not, is there something in you that resents the next boys who can talk at ease? How do you feel about life in general? Why don't you forget your inferiority complex and become interested in people all around you. Enjoy and appreciate people and make friends. Why don't you trade your self-pity for a keen sense of humor? When you have come to know your own weakness and shortcomings, you will be less likely to criticize others. You will be tolerant with them. Be willing to take the lead if need be, but don't become a dictator. Take advice even if you don't use it at once. Girls don't like a boy who is conceited, but they want you to know where you are going. Why be so sensitive? It is nice to be important, but it is more important to be nice. Don't care more about what people are thinking than you do about people. CAN I IMPROVE MY PERSONALITY? Don't try to be the life of the party always. Be content to be part of the party instead of hanging on the outside; get in the middle. Become interested in what is going on. Volunteer to

help in legitimate school affairs. Don't take exceptions to the ones who treat you cold. Go out to be friendly to everyone. Boost your team. You can do lots more if you do not feel self-conscious. Sometimes you may be too mature or too wise for your crowd . A quitter never wins and a winner never quits. You can do what you believe that you can. Just wait; your time will come around. MUST I DRESS MY BEST? There is never an excuse for not beinz clean. If you dress suitable to the occasion, you will be all-right. It is not out of order to borrow or rent a formal suit on certain occasions. Most of your dress will depend on where you live and how you live. It is better to be comfortable than in so much style that you will not reflect your true personality. She will expect your neck and your nails to be clean, but she will not expect you to be perfect in all your dress. You should not dress carelessly; of course, you don't need to wear costly clothes; just so you don't look like a comedian or wear certain colors that clash. Your mother can advise you on this. Since she has once been a girl, she knows what girls expect. AM I EXPECTED TO BE GOOD AT CONVERSATION? Well at least you could try to prevent being a bad conver~ationalist. You don't necessarily need the gift of gab. A good listener is more important than ~ good speaker. Be interested in what the other ~rson IS sa~ing. Never talk while he is talking. Be interested m people. Be interested in the other fellow as a person. They will consider that you are wise. You don't need to worry if there is a silence in your conversation occasionally. During this silence you can appreciate wh~t has been said, and think twice before you speak again. Be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to wrath. 27

26

If you listen and read, you will know what you know

and what the other fellow knows also. It is all-right to quote from the newspaper but you can't quote from it if you don't read it. The secret of success is to read up on what you like. Then read up on what she likes and talk about that. You will fix her where she cannot do without you. DO~S A GIRL LIKE STRONG BOYS? All girls differ. Some teenage girls are changeable. They may do a lot of daydreaming or nightdreaming. She may have certain dreams about some strong man coming to her rescue when she is in trouble. She has seen so many adventure stories, or seen so many television programs, that she feels insecure without a Samson being near. Don't forget that a boy's personality wins most girls. Most girls are so interested in you that they do not notice your muscles. She wants to be on a level with you; she wants you to just be human. You should not be so sensitive or self-conscious thinking that she demands a prize fighter for a boyfriend. There is a girl somewhere that will match you. Be natural; be your best. You will find her just around the corner. I don't think you will find her in the funny papers. A boy might somethimes be called an egghead, but even then he shouldn't scramble. If she is a peach, cling to her; don't be easily discouraged. HOW MAY I IlVIPRESS MY GIRL? Be yourself. Don't try to be something you are not. Don't be a showoff and a comedian. The girls may laugh but it may just be to hide their embarrassment. Act decent and natural. -Act your age. This will win in the long run, for you will become older. They can sense it when you are trying to be something you are not. Regard her feelings and opinion. This goes a long way.

Perhaps a lifetime. She likes to be heard sometimes. Don't talk while she is talking. WHY DO SOME GIRLS GO TOO FAR? Some of them have not been taught to be morally right. Their parents have not set up moral standards. Other girls rebel against their parents. They want to prove that they are their own boss; they think they will not be advised or corrected by anyone. Some crave attention and reassurance. Maybe she has not had a good realtionship with her dad. She pays a big price for affection and pays for it the rest of her life. Maybe the girl is void of all religious beliefs or convictions. Usually the girl does not want to go too far. but she wants to keep her boyfriend and not displease him in any way. She may be running competition with another girl. A normal girl knows that she owns her own self. She will not give away the only real thing that she will ever have. She wants to master herself. You will be a big man if you will not push a girl too far. She is weaker and easier influenced than boys. SHOULD A BOY PUSH A GIRL TOO FAR? You may not claim to be a saint, but if you are a good sport, you will play according to the rules, even on the ball field. You would not cheat in a football game. When you go too far with a girl, you are certainly cheating on your future, on her future husband and on your future wife. Your future is before you, why not channel your interests into a more constructive outlet? Discipline yourself. When you purposely work yourself up, you will get where you cannot apply the brakes, when you want to. It takes good skill in making a good relationship. Any brute can follow the path of least resistance. Neither of you should throw your values to the wind and cause 'your parents to lose on their investment.

28

The courts and prisons are filled with base people who put no restraint on the sex urge. If you break that resistance usually you have no other resistance in other things. Curse words, alcohol, tobacco and dope associates with the same class who are weak sexually. The divorce courts are filled with parents who had no sex restraint. CAN I NOT STRAIGHTEN UP AFTER MARRIAGE? The fact is, you will have more temptation after marriage than before. If your resistance is broken down, you cannot build it again suddenly. If you want a strong resistance after you marry, keep it strong before you marry. If your constitution is broken now, then it will be weak later. Like a chain, it is not stronger than its weakest link. You and your girl should know one another as two whole personalities, rather than two weak moral degenerates. You would have a better feeling about one another. If you let down the bars, you will not be as well qualified for marriage; learn to express love by consideration, understanding, tenderness and sharing common interests. When you push your base desires on a girl, it proves you have a disrespect for her and her standards. You do not respect the standards of her parents, so you are not worth their respect. The act may only last for a moment, the anxiety, guilt and regret lasts for several lifetimes. HOW IS THE BEST WAY TO AVOID THE URGE? The best way is to keep your mind on better things. That will cure nine-tenths of your trouble. Keep away from situations that stimulate these urges. You don't have to feel frustrated. Heavy petting is an unhealthy practice. You may think you can control yourself when 30

you cannot. You are not made of wood. I take it that you are a normal person. Both of you will be disturbed physically and emotionally. No two single people actually enjoy dating. and ~et pleasures out of life if they go too far. They will enjoy life better if they will date for friendship and fun. The guilt complex will cause both of them to be. griev~us.ly vexed in their everyday home life. They will be irrrtable and hard to manage. That discontentment will change their personality and make them live a miserable life. WHAT DOES A KISS MEAN? Well, most people agree that there are two kinds of kisses. There is what some people call a holy kiss, and there is a lustful kiss. You don't need to hold on long until a holy kiss will become a lustful kiss. You don't know your own strength sometimes. All normal people should be careful. Some people are easily aroused by a kiss, while others are not. Some have more resistance than others. Some have no resistance at all. A girl is so made that her lips and certain parts of her body are connected with her passion. Certain nerves go to arouse her sexual desires. You may be strong and can stand more, but you should consider her life also. Since some folks can stand more than others it is generally advisable to tell all of them to refrain from kissing and petting until they are engaged and ready to get married. If you abide by these standards, you will never be sorry. She is someone's sister. Would I want someone to do my sister that way? She is someone's daughter. Would I want a boy to treat my daughter that way? She will someday be a mother. Would I want my mother treated that way? Treat her exactly like you would like for someone to treat your sister or

31

daughter. After all you have to live with yourself. It is hard to live with yourself, or with others, if that thing is always pressing and annoying you. m This book is not complete without the companion book, FROM TWELVE TO TWENTY. It carries you into more serious problems and solves them; such as eloping, secret marriage, engagement, marriage before finishing college, leaving for the army, and being responsible for your wife and home. You can help yourself and other people if you know about love, romance and sex. It is advertised on the inside cover. Blessings to you as you walk in the path in wh ich you have not trod before.
0 0 ::III""

ooC
CD

,.,

'" cr

v
Z

:::;
v
l:

:c
~

:ca ...
CI :::I

'0""
0
C
"TJ

TfNSION

-

T~OUBlt
%

... • • ~ .... ... ~ ... Z
0 0 0
Q

· ·

0(

'"
0 E
0

..;
on

.-:

....,
;;0
VJ

;;0

0
v.; 0 0

'!

0

• • '"

...,... _las
~'1\

(__M.lnl

I

."OY.-nc.

~IV

..

<:'-"~ t'"

n.-,.
\~

1.

M...,~l

._k
lA.

IAtIlI

1Ir""'GmII

------------------------------------------------

HOME STUDY COURSE
Dear Brother Grant; oPlease enroll me in the Faith Clinic Bible Course As soon as you receive this slip. send me postpaid 64 titles of your faith books, on Bible deliverance as a loan with true and false exam sheets. I am willing to send $4.00 per month tuition. 01 am a Christian over 15 years old. oIt is understood that after I send the tuition for 15 months, I may keep all the 64 books to be used in God's work. DOn the completion of this course, 1 will receive a purple and gold certificate oAs I complete the second course, 1 may receive my license to preach. oAnd aDD Degree if I finish all the courses
Name

Address.