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'101 Ways To Make Love To Yourself.'

'101 Ways To Make Love To Yourself.' © [Shevy Cardoza] [2011]. All rights reserved.

To my Dearly Beloved Maestro. You are the soft inspiration of dew drops on my soul. I love you forevermore.

Contents.

Prologue

Introduction

25 Ways To Make Love To Your Body

1. Opt for gourmet sweets and desserts.

2. Choose freshly made juices over bottled sodas and drinks.

3. Snack on seeds, nuts or low sugar fruits;

4. Eat lots of vegetables.

5. Include more vegetarian / vegan meals in your overall meal plan.

6. Don't hate yourself because of your current

7. Do find the right health plan for your body.

8. Love your body.

9. Whatever the size of your body adorn it nicely.

10. Open and commit to finding people who will be madly in love with you

regardless of what your body looks like and who YOU are madly in love with regardless of what their body looks like.

11. Adapt the right exercise routine for your body and personality type and do it

at least 3 times a week.

12. Invest in a personal trainer for a few classes.

13. Participate in an endurance challenge every once in a while (even once a

week if you like and if you can).

14. Move consciously.

15. Do Yoga.

16. Give yourself a body scrub and self-massage a couple times a week.

17. Get a professional massage as often as your budget allows.

18. Invest in natural essential oils.

20.

Take as many air baths as you can.

21. Establish a sleep routine.

22. Cool down the evening before sleeping.

23. Turn off electronic devices before sleeping.

24. Do what you can to ensure that where you sleep is at the right room

temperature.

25. Learn the art of Yoga Nidra and do it before sleeping.

25 Ways To Make Love To Your Mind26. Read as much as you can.

27. Read with discernment.

28. Have a healthy sense of skepticism.

29. Guard against information that hits you subtly.

30. Be careful about what information you offer others.

31. Ask questions of yourself.

32. Seek answers.

33. Cast not your pearls before swine.

34. Contemplate.

35. Observe silence.

36. Meditate.

37. Meditate on love.

38. Meditate on music.

39.Actively meditate.

40. Meditate on affirmations.

41. Engage the mind.

42. Learn something new.

43. Be in the flow.

44. Let the mind rest.

45. Avoid simple daily stresses.

46. Seek help from a Therapist or Counselor for big stresses you cannot change.

47. Learn to be an observer of the mind.

48. Document your thoughts.

50.

Let it go.

25 Ways To Make Love To Your Heart

51. Surrender.

52. Set an intention to open the heart.

53. Do not judge the current state of your heart.

54. Let go of your current definition of love.

55. Know that heartache is inevitable.

56. Spend time in the nature.

57. Keep your home beautiful and clean.

58. Look at Art.

59. Travel.

60. Remove the barriers of separation from your heart.

61. Connect with others in a meaningful way.

62. Be honest with others.

63. Refrain from gossip.

64. Encourage and praise others.

65. Give to others and expect nothing in return.

66. Open your arms and give a good hug.

67. Have sex with a present heart.

68.Practice detachment from others.

69. Learn to forgive.

70. Choose to heal.

71. Nurture your heart.

72. Seek healing words.

73. Read Poetry.

74.Search your heart to find your passion.

75. Be brave.

25 Ways To Make Love To Your Soul

76. Who am I?

77. Let judgment go.

78. Practice non-violence.

79. Repent.

80. Release guilt.

81. Be compassionate to yourself and to others.

82. Seek to end suffering.

83. Find and live your purpose.

84. Take action.

85. Have hope.

86. Observe non-human organisms.

87. Observe a flower.

88. Learn Science.

89. Look at the stars.

90. Have a sense of wonder about life and the Universe.

91. Transfigure others.

92. Sublime your energy.

93. Spend your energy wisely.

94. Exercise discipline.

95. Keep yourself pure.

96. Let envy go.

97. Be Patient.

98. Always return to humility.

99. Be Grateful.

100. Alas; Be the change you want to see in the world - Mahatma Gandhi.

101. WRITE A MANIFESTO.

About the Author

Prologue

Once while walking home from my job as an Assistant Language Teacher in Japan

I remember feeling a heavy curtain of lonely's perfume hanging over my head.

My entire being felt vacant and it was as if every step I took was another step into despair, darkness and void. Little did I know that day would prove to hold a major clue for the emotional anarchy that followed.

A few weeks later, I had a massive nervous breakdown that found me lost and

frightened in a Japanese hospital. As a result I lost my job, my apartment and my money because my mental sanity became questionable. However, it turned out to be the greatest blessing of my life because it was the wake up call I needed to

change ME!!!

It took me three years to fully recover from the breakdown and during the three

years, though I would have several smaller breakdowns, I learned that the only way to overcome a life filled with depression, weight issues, a poor image of self and constantly feeling worthless was to commit to a journey of learning self-love and making love to myself.

I read everything I could find, sought advice from the wise, traveled around,

went to therapy, dropped some people, activities and substances from my life and took up new people, activities and wholesome nutrition in my life. Three years later I am whole different person. Free from depression, free from self- hatred, empowered, beautiful, sensual and passionate about making love to ME everyday.

It is from this place of experience that I wrote 101 Ways To Make Love To Yourself. Every single way you will find here in this guide are ALL ways I have already incorporated in my life or that I am still working on daily to incorporate into my life. I cannot tell you that the journey to deeper self-love is easy. It does

require commitment, discipline and an incredible amount of empathy towards the self. What I can tell you however is I have found that making love to myself has made my life into a light that illuminates me, my path and those that choose to support me and walk with me on my path.

And so, from my heart to yours, I offer this guide, 101 Ways To Make Love To Yourself, as my gift and my silent support as you too begin your journey, or continue on your journey, to delicious, sweet, soulful, self-love.

Introduction.

Self-love, loving yourself, making love to yourself; Whichever of these

expressions you use is fantastic especially when you deeply understand the magnitude your chosen expression has on your life. That's right! When the notions of making love to yourself enter your field of thought you KNOW you have started on a journey of the greatest transformation of your life. But before we get into the sweet and delicious nature of this transformation lets make a few things immediately clear. Stepping unto the path of making love to yourself is NOT selfish. It is NOT arrogant. And it most certainly does NOT mean that you will turn a blind eye to the needs of those around you. Rather, making love to yourself is the ultimate self-created luxury you will embrace that will gift your life with abundance, joy, refreshment, invigoration and an epic end to 'THINGS' which never served you or your most loving interest.

Now, how in the world do you make love to yourself??? Well, the following guide will give you a smacking 100 ways of how you can make love to yourself right now, right here! For your ease, these 100 ways of how you can make love to yourself are divided into four categories; 25 ways to make love to your Body, 25 ways to make love to your Mind, 25 ways to make love to your Heart and 25 ways to make love to your Soul. If you are now thinking how in the world will I know where to start from a 100 WAYS, not to worry because the last way – Way 101 - will help you incorporate the ways you need most into your daily life.

Remember, making love to yourself is your birthright and self-created luxury. It is your journey of celebrating YOU, the marvelous creation that YOU are, affirming YOUR unique imprint here on this earth and stepping into the knowing that YOU matter and YOU are wanted by all those you knowingly and unknowingly inspire with your firm steps of self-love. So have fun, visualize the new you that will blossom while you are making love to yourself and be responsible, safe and

committed to it all.

25 Ways To Make Love To Your Body

*(Do make sure that any way you decide to incorporate into your life regarding changes to your diet and exercise routine is incorporated under the guidance of your doctor or specialist.)*

1. Opt for gourmet sweets and desserts. If you are like me, you have a

serious addiction to sugar that if left uncontrolled could threaten to ruin your life and transform you into one giant ball of diabetes. Or maybe you are not like me but indulge from time to time in sweets. Whatever the case, opt for gourmet sweets and desserts instead of supermarket shelf sweets. For example, instead of buying M & M’s, buy high end chocolate from upscale stores. You know the kind of chocolate that costs 3 USD for a single, tiny block?! The benefits of buying gourmet sweets and desserts are; a. They are less likely to be as destructive as shelf sweets. b. Due to their likely rich nature, you wont want to eat more than a little at a time. c. They are expensive so buying them will be a well deserved treat as opposed to a habitual purchase from the shelf.

2. Choose freshly made juices over bottled sodas and drinks. There exists

a plethora of Soda’s, fake fruit juices and bottled drinks. I highly recommend

staying away from them because not only are they usually dangerously high in refined sugar but they are also extremely destructive to the environment as a result of having to dispose of the bottles and plastics they come in. (And unfortunately, NO! Recycling is still NOT a worldwide phenomenon.) Remember, protecting your environment is directly related to making love to yourself because a clean and healthy environment supports a clean and healthy you.

3. Snack on seeds, nuts or low sugar fruits; Pumpkin seeds, sunflower

seeds, nuts, dates, figs, apple slices with a bit of almond butter and apricots are all excellent alternatives to salty and super sugary snacks. Choosing these

alternatives will give your body nutritional benefits and will help to curb your appetite away from snacks that are not so healthy for you. In addition to this, when you snack on any of these alternatives you save yourself from having to feel snack guilt and that is great because snack guilt (or any kind of guilt) interferes with making love to yourself.

4.

Eat lots of vegetables. Now, I know there are some people who really dislike

certain vegetables but not to worry because there are so many types of vegetables to choose from and they are all chock full of amazing health benefits. A good way to motivate yourself towards eating vegetables then is to have a quick online search of the health benefits different vegetables offer. With the information in mind, when you eat your chosen vegetables really enjoy the fact that you are making love to yourself by putting in yourself super foods that are highly beneficial.

5. Include more vegetarian / vegan meals in your overall meal plan. With bias I really advocate full vegetarianism and / or a vegan diet because it works wonders for me. The day I stopped eating meat, white rice and dairy products was the day I saw dramatic improvements in my physical and emotional health. BUT I do recognize this might be too much and not work for some of you. A simple solution then is to include at least one vegetarian / vegan meal in your daily meal plan. If not daily, then at least 3-5 times a week and track how you feel after by jotting down notes in your food journal. If you find yourself clueless as to how to prepare vegetarian / vegan meals then do know that there are plenty of websites that can really help you zone in on some wickedly delicious vegetarian and vegan recipes. Go ahead and try them. You will be surprised at how much you like them, especially when you put your own personal cooking stamp on them.

6. Don't hate yourself because of your current weight. In today’s world we

can find women (and men too) of all sizes and shapes feeling anxious, worried and self-hateful because of their weight. You might feel this way too and it is understandable because a part of all of us yearn to be at a weight accepted by our peers and by social standards / ideas of beauty. Yet, the anxiety, worry, and self-hatred builds resistance and a poor relationship with the body that could result in engaging in harmful or extreme practices against the body. It is crucial then to learn these poignant facts; You are NOT your weight. Your magnificence is NOT defined by your weight. And, there are plenty of loving, healthy ways you

can incorporate in your life that can help you make changes to your current weight.

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7.

Do find the right health plan for your body. Some of the diets suggested

out there are dangerous and ridiculous. Diets like those promoting starving yourself, limiting your meals to only one category of food, extreme detox plans, extreme fitness -lose weight in 30 days – plans, etc. are counter productive and counter intuitive. Stay away from them like the plague because sure you may lose weight and notice some changes but there is also a high chance that whatever improvements you make will quickly disappear in the event you are

unable to maintain these absurd plans. Instead, slowly slowly, with love and

sensibility and with help from a professional, choose a health plan that is right, loving and healthy for YOUR body.

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8.

Love your body. It is important to make the distinction between the weight

of your body, any ailments affecting your body and the facts of your body. No matter the weight or ailments of your body it is still working very hard and the best it can in each moment to support and carry you throughout your daily life. With that said you can learn to love your body by committing to a whole month of giving it tender and loving acknowledgment. Here is how I did it. I stood in front of the mirror naked and spoke to every single part of my body. For

example, ‘Arms, even though you fly like a flag on a windy day, I still deeply love and appreciate you. Tummy, even though you are big and hang over, I still deeply love and appreciate you. Thighs, even though you are ginormous, I still deeply love and appreciate you.’ I left no body part out. In the beginning I felt super weird doing it but by the end of the first week I felt an incredible shift in the way I carried myself. Suddenly, my body became a blessing rather than a curse. If you like why don’t you try experimenting with this too and note any shifts you may feel towards a deeper love for the miraculous thing which is your body.

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9.

Whatever the size of your body adorn it nicely. It does not matter at all

what size you are, you can still find the right clothes, accessories and shoes to

make you look and feel like a million dollars. Never ever delude yourself into thinking you have to have a celebrity body to look great. Especially these days there are all sorts of designers making fab and affordable clothes for voluptuous bodies – Beyonce’s House Of Dereon and Ashley Stewart comes quickly to mind. So go ahead and work it!

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10.

Open and commit to finding people who will be madly in love with

you regardless of what your body looks like and who YOU are madly in love with regardless of what their body looks like. (This will become easier and easier the more you follow way # 8 as like attracts like.) The truth is no matter what size you are and how your body looks there will always be someone out there ready to criticize your body. It may be subtle and covert or blatant and in your face. Either way criticisms against your body will likely hurt and be a major blow to your self-esteem. Sure, one day you will get to such a place of self- loving that you won’t care a hoot what anyone says but until you reach that stage (and even when you are at that stage) surround yourself with those who are madly in love with you for who YOU are and who you are in love with for who THEY are. The exchange of unconditional love will provide you with an incredible framework of support and support will always help you fall even deeper in love with YOU.

11. Adapt the right exercise routine for your body and personality

type and do it at least 3 times a week. Thankfully having an exercise routine does not mean going to a gym everyday. That is one way to maintain an exercise routine but there are plenty other fun and just as effective ways. You may choose to engage in other routines like brisk walking, outdoor biking, dancing or playing a sport. If for some reason you are totally anti-exercise (like I admittedly used to be) you can take baby steps like gentle walking around the block, riding a normal bike, climbing the stairs at malls, etc. Just remember, any exercise routine you incorporate in your life is a superb way to make love to yourself because it will help to keep you healthy, make you feel great, pump you with lots of energy, tone you a bit and give you an excellent outlet for releasing nasty and negative pent-up emotions.

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12. Invest in a personal trainer for a few classes. Yes, I know personal

trainers can be quite expensive but investing in a few classes with a personal

trainer will help you learn a few things about your body in relation to things like maintaining the right heart rate, body fat index, the names of muscle groups – biceps, triceps, glutes, hamstrings etc, how to tailor your workouts, how to exercise in order to prevent injury and so on. The information a personal trainer can provide you will make a big difference with how effective your exercise routine will be. And, if you can’t afford a professional trainer get creative and seek out graduates who focus on fitness related degrees. They will be happy to help you at a cost that’s a bit less than what you may pay a professional trainer.

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13.

Participate in an endurance challenge every once in a while (even

once a week if you like and if you can). Some examples are, mountain climbing, long outdoor bike riding and marathons. Endurance challenges can give you an incredible boost to your confidence and sense of personal power. Each time you complete an endurance challenge you successfully create a memory of success. That memory of success will always motivate you when you face other challenges in your life that require your persistence and endurance. So go ahead

and give yourself the joy of conquering a mountain or ride, etc. in your own time and your own pace. You will feet fantastic after.

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14.

Move consciously. If ever there was an area relating to the body that many

people take for granted it is in the area of conscious movement. In A B C terms it means, relax the face and avoid frowning or scowling, keep the spine upright – slouching impairs breathing, relax the shoulders away from the ears – crunching the shoulders towards the ears causes muscle tension above the shoulder blades, keep the back of the neck straight – don’t arch the chin too much towards your chest or too much towards the sky. Avoid hyper extending the legs and dragging the feet. Be careful about bending and picking up things. Be careful when ascending and descending stairs. Treat your back as you would a new-born baby by sitting upright in all chairs / seats and by sleeping on your sides on a suitable

mattress. Making these simple adjustments will make you feel better by not only improving the quality of the in and out breath (which helps to reduce stress) but also by helping you use your body to greet life in an upright, relaxed, purposeful way.

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15.

Do Yoga. There is a tendency out there to think that Yoga is only for thin,

acrobatic, super flexible type bodies. I promise you, this is NOT true. In fact no matter your age, no matter your size, no matter how stiff you believe your body to be and no matter how many snarky health problems you have here and there, there is a style of Yoga that is available for you. Simply do a little research on the Yoga studio, their styles and what they offer. When you find one that resonates with you go ahead and try it. You may find Yoga to be a technology that gives you a great relief from stress, that keeps you grounded and centered and that also gives you amazing physiological benefits.

16. Give yourself a body scrub and self-massage a couple times a

week. Making contact with your own skin and giving it some well needed TLC is a soothing way to make love to your body quickly, easily and cheaply. All you

have to do is lather and wash yourself as you normally would when you take a shower / bath then use a dry brush to scrub your entire wet skin. After, slowly self-massage your entire body with virgin coconut oil (other natural oils can be used too) and enjoy the silky smooth rebirth of your skin.

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17.

Get a professional massage as often as your budget allows. Don’t take

for granted the magic a professional and great Masseuse can do on your body. Not only can a professional Masseuse provide healing for your body in the event of soreness and tension but s/he can also provide a safe way to have your skin professionally touched, taken care of and soothed. Remember when your body

receives tender, safe and healing attention in a non-sexual way it will help you to appreciate the miraculous gift of your body which will subsequently help you to have even greater love for your body and your self.

18.

Invest in natural essential oils. Essential oils are excellent when used by

a professional Masseuse for purposes of a massage but you don’t have to depend

on your Masseuse only to use essential oils. You can use essential oils at home by

putting your chosen one in an essential oil diffuser or by simply massaging a drop or two into your palms and taking gentle whiffs. Some oils I personally swear by are, eucalyptus oil – EXCELLENT for clearing congested sinuses, peppermint oil

– invigorating and refreshing, lavender oil – healing and relaxing. (If you have never used essential oils before on your own be SURE to consult with sellers before using them and always opt for natural essential oils.)

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19.

Use natural oils, lotions, moisturizers and soaps. A primary way we

unknowingly damage the skin is by using oils, lotions, moisturizers and soaps that

are highly concentrated in harmful chemicals. For example, many of the soaps available out there dry out the natural oils in your skin. You know what I mean by this. Recall a time when you had a shower using a particular soap and after noticed your skin tight, dry and stiff. You then applied some lotion only to have

the effects of the lotion vanish in 30 minutes. Later you found your skin brittle and coarse. If ever that has happened to your skin it is as a direct result of using harmful soaps and lotions. Instead, as much as possible use natural and organic products on your skin. Such products are 100% better for your skin and in some cases cheaper too. Here in Jamaica we use Cocoa butter on the skin. It is cheap and highly beneficial for the skin.

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20.

Take as many air baths as you can. An air bath is simply being naked

for 10 or more minutes at a time. (And I’m not talking about while being in the shower). A great way can be to lie naked on a bed after showering and self- massaging. The benefits of air baths are numerous. An air bath allows your skin to fully breathe away from the confinements of being trapped in clothes all day.

If you are uncomfortable with your body or your sexuality just lying with yourself

naked is a great way to start opening up. Also, in Kundalini Yoga it is said that

because the skin is related to the heart, exposing the skin to natural air can soften and relax the heart therefore allowing it to be more conducive to REAL

loving.

21. Establish a sleep routine. There are some people who sleep too much (I

used to be so) and many others who do not sleep enough. The negative effects in both cases range from bags under the eyes, pocketed skin, laziness, indecision and irritability. These are some of the more obvious effects while other subtle

effects go unnoticed until its too late. Establishing a sleep routine then protects the body from these negative effects and even if at first it is difficult to fall asleep within the specified hours, the body still at least has the information that from X hours – Y hours is sleep and rest time. If you are having chronic insomnia DO see a doctor. If you are having relatively mild problems sleeping try ways # 22 – 25.

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22.

Cool down the evening before sleeping. A nice habit to develop is to

prepare the mind and body for sleep with relaxation at least 30 minutes before sleeping. In that 30 minutes before sleeping, you may listen to soothing music composed specifically for purposes of relaxation, read calming, spiritual poetry

about love, the nature and other soulful topics, light incense with a very mild scent (or use essential oils, see way #18) and avoid over stimulating the brain with TV, Internet and phones. Enjoying a cool down period before sleeping is a fantastic way to dump all the madness of the day behind leaving you nice and prepared for refreshing sleep.

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23.

Turn off electronic devices before sleeping. The buzzing sound of a still

running desktop, the back light from a monitor, the ring tone / vibrations of a cell

phone are all things that can disturb you from having deep, restful, uninterrupted sleep. Remember, honoring your time to sleep in order to be fully refreshed the next day is a major act of self-love. So whatever unfinished business you have going on on your many electronic devices let it be until the next day. Besides, once refreshed and lively, you will find you are more able to handle unfinished and new business more effectively the next day.

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temperature. When its too hot or too cold it can become impossible for many to sleep comfortably. This is why its a good idea to make sure things in your room are placed in a way that keeps the room temperature at a degree you like.

Things like, allowing space in the room for proper air circulation, choosing soft, environment friendly lights, using cotton / cotton blend bed sheets with a thread count of no less than 220, and if you absolutely need to and can afford it turn on the air / heat using it always with consideration for the environment.

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25. Learn the art of Yoga Nidra and do it before sleeping. An excellent technique for allowing the body to get the maximum amount of rest it really needs is to do Yoga Nidra right before going to sleep. Yoga Nidra is the Yoga of sleep. It is the ability to let the body and mind go into a deep state of relaxation while still remaining consciously aware. It is the time you can use to reflect on and cement your current self-affirming intentions. Best of all is you can do Yoga Nidra with expert guidance available on a plethora of CD’s available and/or even with free guided Yoga Nidra available on Youtube.

25 Ways To Make Love To Your Mind

26. Read as much as you can. Reading the right books at the right time is

among the top 5 ways to make sweet, delicious love to yourself because there are so many brilliant Authors out there offering magnificent pearls of life- changing information. To find these great books set an intention to be open for

information and the right books will show up for you. Through the books that show up for you, you will have Aha moments, find new ways to think about various aspects of life and tap even further into the marvels and mysteries of this World and Universe. And, the more you read is the more you will be led to exactly the information you need to fall even deeper in love with yourself.

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27.

Read with discernment. Unfortunately though some of the information out

there is NOT good for you. Not only is some of this information dangerous but it

also clutters the mind and perpetuates limiting belief systems we may already have. This is why you should approach everything you read with a discerning eye and if possible avoid reading certain publications period. A good rule of thumb is to either stick with reputable, well respected Authors and / or investigate the Author before presenting as gospel their information to your mind. Remember, your mind is more valuable than a diamond treasure box so be vigilant with what you put in there.

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28.

Have a healthy sense of skepticism. It is important to note that

skepticism is not cynicism or being jaded. Skepticism is the ability you will develop to know that everything you hear, see and think is subject to further inquiry and investigation until the point it proves itself worthy of remaining in your consciousness. This is important! If you take no other way to heart take this one. I can’t tell how many times I see people being led astray because they haven’t questioned the information they are given. In fact we had a big example of it recently as thousands around the world believed the world would end. Be skeptical. The difference between being skeptical and gullible could be a difference that will make or break your life.

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29. Guard against information that hits you subtly. Television Ads, Billboard

Ads, Magazine Ads and background chatter are some of the types of information that hit you subtly and messes around with your state of consciousness. An example, you are passively watching television when an advertisement for junk food comes on. A few minutes later you have forgotten about the ad but you also

have the urge to eat something greasy and unhealthy. You have been hit! Some great ways you can use to protect yourself against subtle information hitting you are; closing your eyes and ears during commercials for unhealthy foods. Being aware that there is subtle information coming at you and by consciously deciding to not act on every whim of a thought you may have.

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30.

Be careful about what information you offer others. We have a great

responsibility to make love to ourselves by inputting the right information into

our minds. We have an even greater responsibility to make sure that the information we output into others minds is right too. This can be as simple as saying encouraging words over negative words to others. Or as complex as having the wisdom to know when and what information to offer to whom and when to humbly shut up.

31. Ask questions of yourself. A clear, focused and sharp mind is a beautiful,

healthy mind capable of self-love. This is why developing the habit of asking

yourself questions is a fantastic way to eliminate mental confusion thus paving the way for clarity. At first, asking questions of yourself may feel silly, difficult or terrifying. That’s fine, ask anyway because the whole process of asking will a. illicit responses from your own intuitive contemplation and b. it will put you in contact with the resources that will help you achieve greater self-awareness. Some examples of questions you can ask yourself are, ‘How did I come to believe the things that I do?’ ‘What is the source behind my powerful emotions?’ ‘What can I change in myself in order to live better in the world?’ and my personal favorite, ‘Who am I?’

32.

Seek answers. Developing the habit of asking questions is excellent but it

can be counterproductive if you rely only on your own mind for the answers. Sure, there are times when you will quickly find answers through honest, intuitive

contemplation but other times you will need to step away from your own mind and seek answers from others qualified to help you. A qualified person could be a professional like a Therapist or someone who has consistently demonstrated wisdom in dealing with the particular answers you seek.

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33.

Cast not your pearls before swine. This way belongs in the top 5 ways to

make love to yourself because among the best and most loving things you can do

for yourself is to take great caution with whom you share your most private inquires on life and with whom you take advice and council from. As much as

possible share the intimacies of your mind and heart ONLY with those mature enough to handle and those who have the capacity of understanding to grasp the full range of what you share.

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34.

Contemplate. So many of the world’s problems could be avoided if more

humans spent self-loving time to contemplate. This is because contemplation

always helps to put past situations and events into perspective and even better than that contemplation gives the super power of foresight. Having powerful foresight will no doubt help you to avoid an incredible amount of future problems. And yes though it is impossible to avoid every single problem that will happen in life, if you get into the habit of contemplation which leads to foresight, the amount of problems you are likely to encounter will be significantly reduced and / or you will find yourself better equipped to handle the problems that do show up.

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35.

Observe silence. Asking questions, seeking answers, knowing who to share

what with and when, and contemplation are all habits best developed during moments of silence. You may turn these moments of silence into a meditation practice (see ways # 36-40) or it can be just moments you set aside each day to tune out the buzz of your surroundings and tune into your mind. You can tune into silence by just sitting in a quiet place or you can do it while walking, cooking

or even while seated on the toilet. In addition to this, observing silence is a great way to keep track of your efforts to deepen self-love because the mind in love with its body, heart and soul is a mind not threatened by coming face to face with them in silence.

36. Meditate. The benefits of adapting a traditional meditation practice range

from allowing you to feel balanced and centered to experiencing sweet bliss and nirvana. And, the excellent news is anyone, I mean absolutely anyone, can meditate. There are over 100 different types of meditation techniques available and with a little research you are guaranteed to find the right meditation technique available for you. Plus, there is more good news, you can start your practice of meditation with a commitment to sit for as little as three minutes and build from there. If it takes you awhile to sit for 15 minutes or more at a time, that's perfectly OK and nothing to worry about. Meditation is YOUR private practice, there is no one who can see the inner meditation of your mind and therefore no one to judge you. With these distractions out of the way then meditation can become your own private luxury of breath and still journey to towards deeper self-love.

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37.

Meditate on love. Meditations like the Loving kindness meditation really

help to bring you into a safe space where your heart can open without limit. But if you are absolutely anti traditional forms of meditation or you are absolutely for

whatever reason convinced a traditional form of meditation will not work for you try the alternative of meditating on love. To do this, read love poems written by the great masters like, Rumi and Hafiz, and just sit and let their words permeate through your being. From there, allow your mind to focus on what love really is, how you would like it to manifest more in your life and if you could allow yourself to be a vessel of love in this world. And then, end the meditation trusting love is all around you even if and when you can not feel or connect with it. Let your in breath take the love in and let your out breath return love to the world. Keep breathing in and out like this until you feel an affectionate mood of love without object.

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38. Meditate on music. One of the greatest forms of music the world has been

given is Classical music and meditating on a piece of Classical music can move

you very close to your inner most emotions, ideas and sense of being in this world. Simply approach a piece of Classical music without judgment because it isn’t about liking the music or even reacting to the music. It is about allowing the music to speak to that place deep inside of you where beautifully profound perspectives lie waiting for the moment you allow them to enter the realm of your consciousness. And remember, so much of who we all are is left unexpressed because we are busy keeping up with the physical and material world. The gift music offers us is a return to that place inside us were we can express freely who we really are by allowing the notes of the music to connect deeply with us.

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39.Actively meditate. You may not like your body and your body may have a few health concerns here and there but in spite of that your body is wonderfully

made. Take a few moments to let that fact sink in. Your body is wonderfully made. Now, the next step is to wiggle your fingers in front of your eyes and

watch how effortlessly they move. Take deep breaths and feel as your diaphragm expands and contracts. Take small slow steps and watch in awe at your ability to move your feet. Do any action with your body and have a sense of wonderment at how effortlessly your body responds to your commands and let gratitude grow in your heart for this fact.

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40.

Meditate on affirmations. I am loving and lovable. My heart is filled with

gratitude. I am surrounded by grace and light. I am letting go of the past. I am

empowered. I am living my dream. I am worthy. I am the best and highest version of myself. I am using all my talents and gifts. I deserve happiness and joy. All is well in my world. Life is good. I am happy. Saying affirmations like these over and over again in a meditative state will slowly re-wire the way you see and interact with the world. You will also begin to notice the expansion of your personal power and to feel more capable of creating the life you were truly

meant to live and the life you truly deserve.

41. Engage the mind. Make love to yourself by engaging the mind in

stimulating, mental challenges especially when you feel boredom creeping in. If you have ever felt bored you probably know that boredom can lead to engaging in unhealthy, idle behavior. This is why it is especially important to engage the mind during feelings of boredom to help you not only keep the mind active in a healthy way but also to protect you from behavior that works against you.

Engaging the mind could be as simple as doing crossword puzzles on a regular basis or doing more challenging things like playing chess and learning a different language. Whatever you do always show appreciation for your mind by accessing its incredible resources through stimulating engagement.

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42.

Learn something new. Actually, when we are aware, we learn new things

everyday that have the potential to change our lives. However, daily lessons are little gifts life gives us and its a bit different from consciously deciding to learn

something new. Learning something new gives you the advantage of engaging the mind (way #41) while opening your mental world to a new way of thinking, seeing, perspective and experience. For example, learning a different language and delving into it with commitment and study engages the mind and becomes an avenue for experiencing a new culture, for making new friends and for giving you access to more literature outside of your own language. All these benefits would open your mind tremendously which in turn aids your life to be more fulfilling and happy. Of course learning a language is just one example. You could learn cooking gourmet meals, a sport, sewing, playing an instrument, etc. The sky is the limit.

43. Be in the flow. To be in the flow means to be present with any activity you

are engaged in. It means there is nothing in your mind except what you are doing and what you are concentrating on in front of you. It means to offer activities your best and to make a commitment to trump mediocrity. You already know what it means to be in the flow. You have experienced flow when you were

doing things you liked, lost all sense of time and when you felt euphoric for hours after. This way is suggesting to not only be in the flow when doing your most loved activities but to approach your whole life with a commitment to being in the flow. Be in the flow when you eat, work, walk or do anything else and relish in increased states of euphoria.

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44.

Let the mind rest. If you are a control freak and over achiever like me

remind yourself that it is OK, healthy and allowed to take one day out of the

week to let the mind rest and just be. This means no stimulation, analysis or engagement of the mind. It means very little input and very little output. It

means sitting back and watching slap stick comedy, for example. If you are like me I wager you will want to disagree with this way but taking the mind offline for

a bit helps you to rejuvenate. Rejuvenation is vital because it helps the mind to

see things from a new perspective and new perspectives always help to bring self-

loving improvement to your life.

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45.

Avoid simple daily stresses. There are somethings in our lives that we

have no control over and that will bring us a feeling of stress and there are many

other things in our lives causing stress that we bring on ourselves. A repeated example I see here in my country is with regard to time. My fellow citizen has an appointment at X time but plans poorly and arrives late and becomes stressed as

a result. I bet you know many people like that too. Simple things like this can be

avoided by organizing your day right, moving away from procrastination and setting an intention to live a stress-free life over a stress-full one. Other simple daily stresses include spending too much time on social networks while important work gets backed up, being in a state of rush, skipping meals, and proceeding throughout the day without any kind of plan. Breathe easy then by making some simple adjustments to your daily life which help you to avoid stress.

46. Seek help from a Therapist or Counselor for big stresses you cannot

change. Sexual abuse, suicidal feelings, grief, sexual orientation confusion, and divorce are all major events that can wreak havoc on the mind. I strongly urge

that if you are dealing with any of these events and things feel dark, gloomy and dismal in your mind then it is time to seek professional help. There is zero shame in seeing a Therapist and it is an act of great self-love to be able to admit that you need HELP and then seek it. Be sure to seek out the right Therapist for you by doing a little bit of research and investigation first.

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47.

Learn to be an observer of the mind. There will be times in your life when

your mind threatens to take you over in an instance and you will have access to

no Therapist or other helpful external tools to help you. During these times experiment with being an observer of your mind. To do this watch your mind as you would watch a monkey in a zoo. Watch it shifting from thought to thought, making judgments, panicking and drowning in fear. Just watch it with neutral observation and relax knowing that whatever your mind is doing in that moment has nothing to do with who you fundamentally are and does not at all have to impact how beautiful your future can be.

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48.

Document your thoughts. Way #47 encourages you to observe the mind

but it takes time and practice to develop the skill of neutral observation of the

mind. In the mean time a great way to develop that skill is by documenting what is happening in the mind. Documenting could mean writing in a journal, making little sticky notes, painting, or speaking directly into a tape recorder. It has long been said that documenting your thoughts is extremely cathartic and therapeutic. In addition to this, it allows you to see the nature of your thoughts which could further allow you to see where you would like to make changes and adjustments and what you would like to specifically focus on if you do decide to see a Therapist.

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49.

Identify the difference between thoughts and emotions. Your thoughts

can fuel your emotions but they are NOT at all your emotions and being able to identify the difference between them could really help you re-think how you want to interact with the world and what specific aspects of your life you might like to change. A quick way to identify the difference between thoughts and emotions is

to note and be aware of any sensations you may have in your body. Emotions almost always illicit sensations in your body. Sadness may make you cry, anger may make you mouth dry and fear may make your palms sweat. Thoughts on the

other hand could be stories (possibly exaggerated by the mind) playing over and over like a broken recorder without any specific notable sensation on your body. Once you have identified the difference between your thoughts and emotions you will have more control to decide what you would like to do with your emotions and what you would like to do with your thoughts.

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50. Let it go. You have observed your thoughts, you have documented your thoughts and you have identified the difference between your thoughts and emotions. The next step is to let it go. Learning to let it go might be something you will have to learn again and again everyday and even again and again in each day. No matter how long it takes you to learn the art of letting it go stick with it. The more you let it go is the more you realize that most of the things clouding your mind are either no longer relevant, of no benefit to you or simply

just causing you unnecessary stress and anxiety. So do yourself a favor and make sweet, gentle, passionate love to yourself by letting it go.

25 Ways To Make Love To Your Heart

51. Surrender. Here in the West, we have become so perfect at being mentally

capable (or not) that to hear the whispers and musings of the heart have become for many – impossible. We seek to solve everything with the mind, observable facts and steel like logic and we throw out as garbage anything resembling an appeal from the heart. This is unfortunate because the heart holds as much guidance as does the mind but the guidance of the heart will never be available without surrender. Surrender most certainly does not mean to give up, neither does it mean to stop engaging the mind. It simply means to step back and

admit that no matter how brilliant your system of logic is it might be missing the important elements of the heart's values and intuition. Step back and surrender then, and let your heart reveal to you that extra bit you need to know.

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52.

Set an intention to open the heart. If you are able to surrender as

suggested in way # 51, you may be receptive to the suggestion of setting an intention to open the heart. An intention could sound like this; ‘Each and every day I am willing to experience situations that will help me open my heart.’ With

an intention like this set good experiences and especially bad experiences will prod you (eventually) to question how open your heart really is. And, as you start to notice how open your heart is you will begin to know how much extra work you will need to put in to open your heart even more.

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53.

Do not judge the current state of your heart. You have set your intention

and you find situations revealing to you that your heart is indeed not as open as you would like. That’s OK! Simply take note without judgment and never beat yourself up thinking you are too rigid, unkind, cold or heartless. Instead, know that the current state of your heart is ABSOLUTELY NOT fixed. So long as you

have the desire to live with an open heart in time it will become open and you will know the true essence of living with an open heart.

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54.

Let go of your current definition of love. Unfortunately, many of us

have a warped idea of love that has been passed on by equally warped sources. Assume you know nothing about love, get curious about love and set out to learn it as a child sets out to learn how to navigate the world. You may be surprised

at the new things you will learn about love and you may find that the more new things you learn about love is the more you are willing to #50, let go and #51, surrender.

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55.

Know that heartache is inevitable. Any journey you take to learn about

love will be a journey filled with joyful rewarding lessons and one which also includes lessons born out of heartache. It happens as you interact in the world with others who may not be so interested in learning about love or those who are interested but their journey takes them in a completely different direction than yours. Its all apart of the process and the good news is heartache offers with it potent lessons about love. Besides no matter how much the heart aches, if you so desire, it eventually heals.

56. Spend time in the nature. Landscapes, pristine mountains, gorgeous

beaches, rivers, lakes and streams meandering through forests are all places you can spend time at as you continue on your journey to make love to yourself and to learn about love. While there, at any of these places, let the majestic nature fill your heart with awe and let your surroundings inspire you to heal any wounds

of the heart and to open the heart to the pure joy you truly deserve.

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57.

Keep your home beautiful and clean. A beautiful and clean space can

inspire beauty and purity in the heart. So go ahead and keep your home space beautiful and clean by adorning your home with fresh flowers, hanging calming pictures, photos or posters on the wall, decorating your home according to your budget and keeping everything neat and organized. As you do this, you will find your home becoming not just the place of comfort where you sleep and store your things but also your sacred place where you can heal, rejuvenate and get in touch with your heart. (If you have young children, run your business from home or just have no time to clean full house at least dedicate a small place in your

house where you make a tiny effort to keep it clean and beautiful.)

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58.

Look at Art. Art can include paintings, photography, illustrations, sculptures

and much more. Not only is art usually pleasing to look at but it also helps you to open your heart as you intuitively start to get a sense of what the artist may have wanted to convey to you. Experiment then with moments when you look at

a work of art. Let the mind drop, allow the artist to speak silently to you and notice. If not at least enjoy the gift the artist has given you -the chance to look at another expression of a human's mind, heart and soul.

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59.

Travel. From one perspective, the world can be thought of as one grand

museum full of beautiful and varied types of art and traveling allows you the experience to see that art. While traveling, not only will you experience similar effects of way #58, you will also have more opportunity to experience things like real understanding, profound acceptance and compassion as you come in contact with people who are very different from you. In addition to this, as you start to

open yourself to offering more understanding, compassion and acceptance, if you so desire to, it is also a chance to start learning how to offer those same gifts to yourself.

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60.

Remove the barriers of separation from your heart. Xenophobia,

homophobia, racism, and classicism are all things that deplete and deteriorate the heart. If they exist within your heart you will never ever be able to fully embrace any of the ways to make love to yourself. That being made clear DO know that removing the barriers of separation from your heart, and opening your heart to make friendship and love with people of diverse backgrounds is a wonderful way to make love to yourself simply because you will come to know something more about unconditional love from a wider perspective. And as Rumi says, ‘Do not seek for love, but seek to remove the barriers you have built against love.’

61. Connect with others in a meaningful way. Connecting with others

in a meaningful way isn’t limited to the people in your intimate circle. Others also include your co-workers, acquaintances, the people who serve you, the people you rarely come in contact with or strangers you pass by on the street.

A meaningful connection can be as simple as offering a smile, or choosing to show genuine interest in another and as deep as taking the time to build a loving relationship or choosing to express yourself authentically when around others.

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62.

Be honest with others. In today’s world of euphemism and political

correction, you will be surprised to see that many people still value honesty. Of course, honesty should always be offered with discretion and with careful thought to being delivered at the right time and place. That being said, offering your honesty establishes your integrity in the eyes of others and most important,

honesty spares you the burden of guilt you may feel if you opt to lie instead. Remember, a heart that is free of guilt is a heart easily opened and easily filled with love for itself and for others.

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63.

Refrain from gossip. Gossiping is a nasty habit that for many may seem

harmless because it is mostly carried out behind one’s back. However, gossip

almost always includes story telling and story telling almost always includes exaggeration and lies. The heart can never be free to make love if the mind wants to spend time idly making exaggeration and lies. This is why gossiping should be noted for what it really is – a harmful, nasty habit that does not serve us in any way and a habit that we should work on consciously to drop.

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64.

Encourage and praise others. The ability to affirm others with heartfelt,

encouraging, praising words is an amazing show that we are on the right track to making delicious love to ourselves. The formula is simple! A heart that knows how to uplift and elevate another with genuine words is a heart that can also know

how to uplift and elevate itself. For everything that we do and say to others is nothing more than a reflection of what we can do and say to ourselves.

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65.

Give to others and expect nothing in return. This may sound difficult

but when we are making love to ourselves we quickly find our lives filled with overflowing abundance. From this place of overflowing abundance it becomes easier to give without expecting anything in return. This is absolutely magical because giving your time, your love, your actions or your materials to others, from a place of overflowing abundance may fill you with reward and fulfillment especially in cases where you give to the needy and underprivileged. Of course, always remember that giving is a major part of making love to yourself so do treat yourself kindly and refrain from giving what you do not really have.

66. Open your arms and give a good hug. The more you open your heart the

more you may find you welcome and love to be touched in a loving non-sexual way. If this is so go ahead and take it one step further and give a hug as many times as you can in a day. When you give each hug, provided the other person is comfortable too, make it a worthwhile, heart connecting hug that lasts at least 10 seconds. The longer the hug the more likely you are to connect with the other in a meaningful way (way #61 ) and the more likely you will feel love rush in

and soften your heart. Always use discretion though as others may not yet be comfortable with you entering their personal space in this manner and if there is no one around to give a hug then go ahead and give YOURSELF a hug.

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67.

Have sex with a present heart. Approaching sex as the most luxurious

action you are blessed to experience will help you delve into the action with your whole heart and move through each touch, each stroke and each burst of pleasure with the fullness of your heart. This is making love to yourself AND

to another – be it a casual encounter or the 1000th time in a long marriage. If you feel this is difficult to do and upon careful observation of yourself you notice your ideas about sex disallow you from having sex with presence of heart then reading books on sex, seeing a therapist and / or taking some courses in Tantra may help you to find glorious presence in sex.

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68.Practice detachment from others. First, please understand clearly that practicing detachment does not negate any of the ways previously

suggested. Rather, detachment is the mind and heart skill you develop to allow people to be and do as they so choose. This is hard and requires daily work for all of us because the irony about opening the heart to others, especially in sex,

is that we become incredibly attached. Yet the fact still remains that whomever we love, family, friend or lover, has their own life and own choices that they have to, want to and need to make. Sometimes these choices will not be according to what we want or need but if we are practicing detachment we can depend on the openness of our hearts to let them be.

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69.

Learn to forgive. The choices your loved ones make will sometimes be

hard for you but you deal with their choices by detaching and letting them be. However, if you detach with resentment and bitterness over your loved ones choices then the idea of detachment becomes counterproductive. First detach and then forgive your loved ones for choices they made which hurt you. You may have to do this again and again and you may feel sick and tired of having to forgive someone for making the same hurtful choices but still go ahead and

forgive. The capacity of a heart to forgive is a heart that knows how to heal and a healed heart is a heart that ultimately benefits YOU.

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70.

Choose to heal. Unless you live in a cave your heart will need to be healed

several times over in your life (see way #55). During these times you have two very simply choices; you can choose to heal your heart or you can choose not to. You are absolutely free to choose either way but be careful to note that your choice is a conscious choice because a heart that does not know it needs healing is a heart in trouble. A good idea then is every time you feel a bite in your heart, no matter how short and quick that bite may be, exercise your freedom of choice to heal or not to heal.

71. Nurture your heart. To open the heart requires intention and commitment.

To keep the heart open and to heal the heart again and again requires consistent nurturing. There are several ways to nurture the heart; Again, one of these ways is to see a Therapist. Other ways include expressing the matters of your heart in

a non-violent way (please read the incredible book Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg), allowing yourself to be vulnerable when in a safe space and sharing with others who can very specifically relate such as in a support group.

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72.

Seek healing words. You may nurture the heart by actively communicating

or by passively allowing the healing words of others to penetrate your heart. Words of healing may come from a song, from a book, from a quote, from a

trusted friend or from the depths of your own intuition. Wherever they come from you only need to make sure they are words that uplift and heal your heart and not words that keep you in a depressed state.

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73.

Read Poetry. If you are open, a Poet has the ability, to speak to the most

intimate places of your heart, to heal your heart and to let your heart know what direction it might like to take. To illustrate this I will share with you two quotes from two different poems that had a profound impact on me and inspired me to

write this guide '101 Ways To Make Love To Yourself.' Mary Oliver – The Journey; ‘One day you finally knew what you had to do, and

began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice–though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles…’ Rumi – ‘Don’t hide your heart but reveal it so that I might know mine too and learn what I am capable of.’

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74.Search your heart to find your passion. If you are engaged in actions and activities that are far removed from your heart’s deepest passion you might hit a wall in how open your heart can really become. That being said, to know the passion of your heart above your fears, above your false beliefs and above outside influence takes raw self-honesty and a daily search through introspection,

observation and evaluation. It is here that you will use the brilliance of the mind to get in, search and know your heart.

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75.

Be brave. Matters of the body and mind are difficult at first but get less

difficult with time, commitment and practice. Matters of the heart are a whole different story. When your heart is broken it may close and resist. Your fears will persistently nag at you. Decisions you make that come from your heart may not be popular and go against public opinion. Your ego will always want to rule in favor of protecting self. And other times you will just not have a clear indication of how following your heart will benefit you in the future. With all these things possibly going against you, you will need bravery to open the heart anyway. A great way that may help you to be continuously brave is to pay careful attention to your soul.

25 Ways To Make Love To Your Soul

76. Who am I? Way # 31 tells you to ask questions of yourself in order to

achieve mental clarity. This way also applies when you desire to know the nature

of your soul. Ask yourself the questions, Who am I? Who sees behind these eyes? Who hears all these sounds? Who feels these sensations? Who thinks these

thoughts? It is highly unlikely that you will know the answers to these questions right away and actually, you may have to ask yourself these questions for the rest of your life. However, asking these questions and then understanding the answers as they are slowly revealed to you is a journey you should enjoy and make a big part of your commitment to make love to yourself.

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77.

Let judgment go. To judge yourself and to judge others is a preoccupation

of the mind that dirties the heart and subsequently obscures the soul. Judgment can create negative assumptions, perpetuate feelings of violence that may exist in the heart and may lead to actions that were not the most appropriate because they were not based on all the facts. Judgment, especially negative judgment or illusive judgment sets traps to harm you, poison your relationship with others and ultimately prevents you from making love to yourself. Its simple then, let judgment go. Whenever you feel your mind wondering off to judge, let it go,

return to the love you are building in your heart and let your soul emerge to guide you towards more productive and beneficial thoughts, feelings and actions.

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78.

Practice non-violence. Self-hatred, hatred of others, hatred of plants and

animals are all examples of violence. If there is hatred going on in the heart it becomes hard to know the soul. This is because the soul lives in the very depths of the heart and to come in contact with the soul means to make extinct violent grievances of the heart. Once violet grievances are made extinct the soul is free to emerge bringing with it the truth that all humans and non-humans deserve to be approached with non-violence and love.

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79.

Repent. There are times when you will be violent even though your heart

and your soul begs you not to. In these times allow your soul to be free by repenting. This word is not at all limited to the Christian meaning only. Rather here, it suggests attending your personal university of retrospect, understanding

from your heart the effects your violent actions caused, making a commitment to not repeating the action and apologizing to / seeking forgiveness from the victim you inflicted violence upon. In many cases, that victim will be yourself. Be sure to repent even in and especially in this case.

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80.

Release guilt. It may seem noble to feel guilty for past wrongful actions but

don’t waste time feeling guilty over what you have already repented for. It has passed and you are committed to doing better in the present and future – this is more noble. You may also feel guilty for wrongful actions you are currently doing. If this be the case, stop the action immediately and do what you must to make the wrongful action right. In any other case where you feel guilty, go back to way # 31 and ask yourself questions. Is the thing your feeling guilty about really something you should be feeling guilty about? Let facts, good counsel and the

intuition of your soul guide you to the answers.

81. Be compassionate to yourself and to others. The desire to sympathize

with yourself and others and the desire to alleviate suffering in yourself and others is compassion. This desire comes from your soul because to be compassionate you have to trump the judgment and logic of the mind and overlook the vulnerabilities of the heart. It is not easy to be compassionate especially if you are called to show compassion to s/he who has caused you

suffering, to s/he whose actions you do not understand and to s/he whose actions are heinous. Yet it is through compassion that you will begin to have a deep sense of human condition, i.e. why we suffer, why we inflict suffering on others and how we can possibly overcome suffering.

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82.

Seek to end suffering. There are some things in this life that we cannot

change but there are many others things that we can. This is true about suffering too and the beauty is seeking to end suffering can start with a simple method

– thinking clearly before acting / reacting (see way #34). That being said, sometimes we all forget to think first and act / react in ways that inflict suffering on ourselves and others. In these cases it is important to take responsibility for our actions / reactions and then spend time thinking clearly before acting / reacting any further. As Einstein said, ‘You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.’

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83.

Find and live your purpose. If you know what your purpose is and actively

live it you are likely to have less and less time to create suffering in your life and in the life of others. This is because living your purpose is an authentic expression of your soul making you more likely to be happy, fulfilled and a lot more open minded about the world. The reverse is true, the further away you are from your purpose is the more likely you are to be on auto pilot; acting / reacting without thought and leaving a trail of misery and mess in your path. It is also important to note that finding your purpose and living it is quite a different thing from having an amazing talent and just doing it. Even amazing talents bring more

fulfillment and less suffering when steered towards your life’s purpose.

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84.

Take action. In Jamaica we say to walk for nothing is better than to sit down

for nothing and I would add to that walk but think carefully before walking (way #82). You may not yet know what your life’s purpose is but that does not mean that you should sit and wait for your life’s purpose to fall magically in your lap.

Instead, contemplate, observe, meditate, document and start to notice patterns in your life that may give an indication as to what your life’s purpose may be.

Once you start to have an inclining, find activities you can participate in to see whether or not they may be for you and / or bring purpose to your life. And trust that the more activities you participate in is the more your soul will call out to you and let you eventually know exactly what your purpose is.

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85.

Have hope. If you do decide to walk on a path that includes compassion,

seeking to end suffering, finding your purpose, being active, or many of the other ways you have read until now, unfortunately, you will hit upon a few stumbling

blocks. During these times it will be of great help to you if you have hope. Having hope is exactly what will help you to find the motivation to press on when all else seems impossible and ludicrous. Luckily for us there are many things out there in this world and in this universe that fuels hope. Find them.

86. Observe non-human organisms. If you happen to go through days that

leave you feeling absolutely hopeless, you may find renewed hope by observing any non-human organism, like ants for example. We humans have luxuries no other living organism has and yet we tend to take that fact for granted. Animals live primarily hunting, being hunted or mating. Flowers bloom magnificently only to die a few days later. Birds travel for long distances to ensure survival. And trees are at the disposal of humans cutting them down for materials. We humans on the other hand have a lot more options at our disposal. In fact, we humans have the option to CHOOSE a lot of the factors that will make our lives magnificent or not. Let these facts give you hope.

87. Observe a flower. There is an idea in spiritual literature that claims

everything you want to understand about life, on the metaphysical level, can be understood by observing a flower. I personally haven’t arrived at that level of understanding, yet I know observing a flower opens a gateway to the soul. You see, a flower blooms in exactly the way that it is going to bloom. It may bloom early or it may bloom late. It may need help to bloom or it may not. It may bloom to perfection or it may not. It may stay abloom longer than usual or shorter than usual. It may be subject to prey for human’s beautification or it may

be left to stay in its natural habitat. Whatever the life and death of flower is, so it will be and yet this reality has never stopped flowers from blooming again and again and it has never stopped us humans from enjoying them. Do you perhaps see a parallel with human life here?

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88.

Learn Science. The field of Science is absolutely fascinating and it is

unfortunate that many Scientists and many religious people are at war. We have a great deal to learn from Science. From Science we can come to understand so

many basic facts about our existence here on this Earth and so many sophisticated facts about our make up and interconnection with the Earth and Universe. On a micro level Science can help us understand why

we aren’t choosing to make love to ourselves everyday. And on a macro level Science can help us to appreciate and marvel at the incredible gifts we have as humans in this modern world. The more and more you let the facts of Science into your life and into your consciousness is the more you will find a deeper understanding of your life which will no doubt impress your soul.

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89.

Look at the stars. We humans get so caught up in our minds that we tend

to think all creation is limited to our perceptions and experiences. That kind of trap leads to living life within very narrow mental confines. No doubt if you are trapped within such confines you will not be able to fully make love to yourself, and especially not from your soul. A simple solution to that then is to look at the stars and keep looking at them until you are reminded that there is a whole world and Universe which exists outside of you. Such a reminder will give you a great

sense of humility which subsequently allows your soul to be free.

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90.

Have a sense of wonder about life and the Universe. This sense of

wonder is ultimately what I call spirituality. The understanding that there is so

much greater than us, so much we do not know and so much that is absolutely not in our control no matter how much we would like it to be. With an understanding like this, you are bound to want to concentrate on that which you can control and change – all of which lies in your own self. Now, there are many groups and institutions claiming to help you with having a sense of wonder and having a spiritual life. However, please remember that if an ideology instills in you prejudice or hatred of any kind, be it against others or yourself you may want to question whether the ideology is really a good one and whether it is one that helps you make love to yourself in a HOLISTIC way. And as always, have a healthy sense of skepticism (way # 28) before committing to any ideology.

91. Transfigure others. The amazing thing about making love to yourself,

especially using the aid of Science (way #88) and a sense of wonder (way # 90), is how much it allows you to see an abundance of beauty in the world and in others. Instead of seeing wicked, selfish people out to get you, you instead see

people struggling with their own issues just like you. But, sometimes you may fall back on old habits and see people as wicked and selfish anyway. During these times its nice to transfigure them, and for purposes of this way, meaning you see them as yet another miraculous manifestation of this Universe. Now this does not at all mean that you have to interact with another because of transfiguration; When you look at a star you understand it is a miraculous manifestation of the Universe but that doesn’t mean you go out of your way to interact with it, and even if you could you would be burnt to ash. Rather here, to transfigure another means to just acknowledge their state of miraculous manifest, to accept it as such and to let it be.

.

92.

Sublime your energy. Many of the ways suggested to you here in this

guide, especially in the category of heart and soul, will be hard to accomplish

if your energy is stuck at lower states. You know when your energy is stuck in lower states. Its those times when you are caught up in lust, greed, jealousy,

resentment, gluttony and so on. The more you make love to yourself is the further away from low states you move. However, we ALL have setbacks from time to time where we get down and dirty into low states. During these times it is important to sublimate this low state. Yoga is an excellent technology for helping that sublimation process to occur. Other sublimation techniques could include prayer, meditation, listening to classical music and reading appropriate poetry. Whatever technology you decide to use simply make sure it quickly assists your energy to move up to higher and more self-loving states.

.

93.

Spend your energy wisely. Truly, truly, the life you have been gifted with

here on this Earth is short. You are unlikely to ever know what it is to live for a thousand years like some of the great Trees in our world. So don’t waste life by wasting energy. And you will know when you are wasting energy because you will feel sapped and exhausted without a deep sense of satisfaction, contentment and

fulfillment. Instead, save your energy and pump it into living your life’s purpose because when you are living your life’s purpose that is the ultimate way to make love to yourself and to spend your energy wisely.

.

94.

Exercise discipline. If ever you hope to make love to yourself in ways that

allow you to be the happiest and most fulfilled you can be here on this earth, you will need to exercise a great deal of discipline. Discipline will help you overcome the 50,000 temptations that will be thrown your way. Discipline will keep you going when no matter how much you try to find hope there is none to be found. And, discipline will keep you on your path. You can start developing discipline by

returning to your intention and your commitment to your intention. Remember, it all starts with an intention. An intention to change. An intention to be the best and highest version of yourself that you can be.

.

95.

Keep yourself pure. Exercising discipline will be much easier the more

pure you keep yourself. What does it mean to keep pure? It means don’t stuff your body with unhealthy, junk and processed foods, don’t over indulge in alcohol <maybe don’t drink at all if you have tendency towards addiction>, don’t smoke, don’t overload your mind with negativity, stay away from toxic things and people, be super kind and loving to yourself always. Think of an impure self the same you would as walking up a steep mountain with a great heavy load of rocks on top of your head. Like walking up a steep mountain, the walk you will take to make love to yourself will be difficult and at times seemingly impossible. That is why you want to take that walk with as little impurities, which are like a heavy load of rocks, as you can.

96. Let envy go. The path to making love to yourself in a holistic, beautiful way

will at times seem easier for others and difficult for you. This perceived comparative difficulty may cloud your eyes causing you to look upon others and secretly resent them for having it easier than you do. This is envy and when you experience it, let it go. If ever there was a wasteful preoccupation of the mind it is envy. Wasteful because the grass is greenest on your side no matter what your

current situation and circumstances are. That’s right, no matter what your current situation and circumstances are the grass is greenest on your side. Everything inside you may want to disagree with this statement but ask yourself

- would you still disagree if you knew the intimate suffering of others? Would you want to trade your suffering for another’s? We ALL suffer and we ALL experience difficulties. Let your soul then be free of envy and instead fill up with compassion for yourself during moments of difficulty and compassion for others as they too battle their own struggles.

.

97.

Be Patient. I write this way with great appeal for both you and I. I struggle

most with patience because I want everything to happen NOW NOW NOW….Yet there is honey to be found in patience. Think of it like taking a journey on a picturesque, pearl laden road to a destination you dreamed of your whole life. You have two options while on your journey; speed through to your destination or move leisurely along the road, picking up pearls along the way and enjoying the majesty of the pictures in front of you. The choice really is yours but before

you decide which choice to make I really want you to understand the honeycomb beauty of patience first. And, as we say here in Jamaica, ‘Patient man ride

donkey.’ Don’t ever take for granted the stubborn hurdles you can overcome with patience.

.

98.

Always return to humility. Humility is the grace of the soul and humility

will expand your soul into the most subtle, extraordinary nuances of life. Whenever you feel ego creeping up on you and tricking you into taking credit for everything around you just start to think of the mechanics of your body. Did you mastermind the mechanics of your body? Did you connect the valves that safely allow your heart to beat? Did you engineer the intricate brain you have? Did you dictate how your body will inter-depend on the environment around you? Let the

answers to these questions return you to humility and let humility allow more of life to unfold to you.

.

99.

Be Grateful. After all that’s said and done there is so much to be grateful

for. I sometimes think that if I were to spend time listing all the things I am grateful for the list would never end and I would never be able to get on with daily chores. Be grateful for your life. Be grateful for the sun and moon as it shines and illuminates for you. Pay ode to the birds that sing freely for you. Be excited for and celebrate the breath that comes in and out for you. Hug the trees for absorbing gasses for you. Bow to the Universe for letting the Earth remain as

other stars explode around. Be grateful for this abundant, treasure filled life. Be grateful and let your whole body, mind, heart and soul shout with glee the gratitude you so deeply feel.

.

100. Alas; Be the change you want to see in the world - Mahatma Gandhi. It starts with you my Dear. Always remember, it starts with YOU! No one can change your life for you. You can’t change others’ lives for them either. In the grand scale of things the extent of your control is likely to be very limited. And the world will always behave in exactly the way that it is going to behave. But still, you will always have yourself and you will always have the power to

make some kind of change in yourself. So again, start with you and inspire others by your example.

101. WRITE A MANIFESTO.

Congratulations! You have read through 100 hundred ways to make love to your

body, mind, heart and soul. Now you may be wondering where to start and how

to start incorporating the ways into your life. You can start by looking at the table

with the 100 ways in each category listed below, then chose one way from each

category that really resonates with you now – at this time of your life. Next, you

will write your four chosen ways on the worksheet provided in the appropriate

spaces. Finally, you will write a manifesto that includes your commitment and

time frame to incorporating the four ways you have chosen into your life.

Here is an example;

101 Ways To Make Love To Yourself; Worksheet.

BODY: 1. Opt for gourmet sweets and desserts.

MIND: 50. Let it go.

HEART: 51. Surrender.

SOUL: 97. Be Patient.

MANIFESTO: I Shevy Cardoza commit to incorporating the following four ways into my life; Way 1. Opt for gourmet sweets and deserts. Way 50. Let it go. Way 51. Surrender. Way 97. Be Patient. I commit to incorporating these ways into my life over the next 6 months. Yes, I know 6 months is a long time but I also know that incorporating these ways into my life will keep me physically healthy and much more relaxed and stressed-free. I also commit to seeking whatever additional help and support I will need while incorporating these ways into my life. Finally, I hereby create my affirmations to be repeated each day; I AM OPTING FOR GOURMET SWEETS AND DESERTS. I LET THINGS GO EASILY. I SURRENDER ALL. I AM PATIENT AND KNOW EVERYTHING HAPPENS IN THE RIGHT TIME.

.

The above is my way of putting together a manifesto in the worksheet provided.

Feel free to write your manifesto in the way that suits YOU best. Also, you may

go ahead and print your manifesto, snazz and jazz it up with the colors that

appeal to you best and post it somewhere you will be able to see it regularly.

Make it apart of your vision board even.

When you feel your commitment has been met and the ways have become a natural part of your life, go ahead and choose another 4 ways to incorporate in your life. You may repeat the process as many times as you need to and as many times as it takes you to get to the place where you are making sweet delicious love to YOURSELF. Enjoy and know that you have my complete support!!!

List Of Ways; (Blank worksheet found below on separate page.)

 

Body

 

Mind

 

Heart

 

Soul

1.

Opt for gourmet sweets and desserts.

26. Read as much as you can.

 

51. Surrender.

 

76.

Who am I?

2. Choose freshly made juices over bottled sodas and drinks.

27. Read with discernment.

52. Set an intention to open the heart.

 

77. Let judgment go.

3.

Snack on seeds, nuts or low sugar fruits;

28. Have a healthy sense of skepticism.

53. Do not judge the current state of your heart.

78.

Practice non-violence.

4. Eat lots of vegetables.

29.

Guard against

54. Let go of your current definition of love.

 

79. Repent.

information that hits you

 
 

subtly.

 

5. Include more vegetarian / vegan meals in your overall meal plan.

30. Be careful about what information you offer others.

55.

Know that heartache is inevitable.

 

80. Release guilt.

 

6. Don't hate yourself because of your current weight.

31. Ask questions of yourself.

56. Spend time in the nature.

81. Be compassionate to yourself and to others.

7.

Do find the right health plan for your body.

32.

Seek answers.

 

57. Keep your home beautiful and clean.

82.

Seek to end suffering.

 

8. Love your body.

33. Cast not your pearls before swine.

 

58. Look at Art.

83. Find and live your purpose.

9. Whatever the size of your body adorn it nicely.

34.

Contemplate.

 

59. Travel.

 

84.

Take action.

10.

Open and commit to

35. Observe silence.

60.

Remove the barriers of

 

85. Have hope.

finding people who will be madly in love with you regardless of what your body looks like and who YOU are madly in love with regardless of what their body looks like.

separation from your heart.

 

11.

Adapt the right exercise

 

36. Meditate.

61.

Connect with others in a meaningful way.

86.

Observe non-human organisms.

routine for your body and personality type and do it at least 3 times a week.

 

12.

Invest in a personal

37. Meditate on love.

62.

Be honest with others.

87. Observe a flower.

trainer for a few classes.

 

13. Participate in an endurance challenge every once in a while (even once a week if you like and if you can).

38. Meditate on music.

63. Refrain from gossip.

88. Learn Science.

14. Move consciously.

39.Actively meditate.

64. Encourage and praise others.

89. Look at the stars.

 

15. Do Yoga.

40. Meditate on affirmations.

65. Give to others and expect nothing in return.

90. Have a sense of wonder about life and the Universe.

16.

Give yourself a body

41.

Engage the mind.

66. Open your arms and give a good hug.

91.

Transfigure others.

scrub and self-massage a couple times a week.

   

17. Get a professional massage as often as your budget allows.

42. Learn something new.

67. Have sex with a present heart.

92. Sublime your energy.

18.

Invest in natural essential oils.

43. Be in the flow.

68.Practice detachment from others.

93. Spend your energy wisely.

Use natural oils, lotions, moisturizers and soaps.

19.

44. Let the mind rest.

69. Learn to forgive.

94. Exercise discipline.

20.

Take as many air baths as you can.

45. Avoid simple daily stresses.

 

70. Choose to heal.

95. Keep yourself pure.

21. Establish a sleep routine.

46. Seek help from a Therapist or Counselor for big stresses you cannot change.

71. Nurture your heart.

96.

Let envy go.

22. Cool down the evening before sleeping.

47. Learn to be an observer of the mind.

72. Seek healing words.

97. Be Patient.

23.

Turn off electronic

48. Document your thoughts.

73. Read Poetry.

98. Always return to humility.

devices before sleeping.

24.

Do what you can to

49. Identify the difference between thoughts and emotions.

74.Search your heart to find your passion.

99.

Be Grateful.

ensure that where you sleep is at the right room temperature.

 

25. Learn the art of Yoga Nidra and do it before sleeping.

50. Let it go.

75. Be brave.

100. Alas; Be the change you want to see in the world - Mahatma Gandhi.

 

101. WRITE A MANIFESTO.

     

101 Ways To Make Love To Yourself; Worksheet.

BODY:

MIND:

HEART:

SOUL:

MANIFESTO:

'101 Ways To Make Love To Yourself.'

About the Author

Your Author Shevy Cardoza battled with debilitating depression, body / weight, and self-esteem issues for years. She never understood what it meant to be independently happy and she most definitely did not understand the joy and self love gained from holistic health. It was not until she left Japan, where she lived for 5 years, and set out on a 4 month journey across South East Asia that Shevy began to understand what happiness and self love was. During that time Shevy found herself learning meditation from Buddhist monks, Yoga from great teachers, nutrition from Ayurvedic doctors and learning about herself as she faced the equal trials and rewards of traveling by herself as a Black woman in foreign lands.

By the time she returned to her homeland Jamaica, Shevy decided to begin her studies as a Yoga teacher, to get formal therapy and to start sharing her stories of overcoming depression and stepping into holistic health with the world.

Shevy has been doing this by dedicating much effort to her blog waystoselflove.com; A blog which features Shevy’s stories told in an honest, raw, no holds barred voice and from which she created her first free e-book, ‘Healing Words Written With Love; Let’s Detox The S#@*t Out!’ available on free- ebooks.net and which has been downloaded 2956 times to date.

Even in her most unfavorable states, Shevy has always had a passionate and enthusiastic nature. Now, that passion and enthusiasm is fueled even more because Shevy knows she has finally found her life’s purpose, i.e., to offer the world a guide to healing and greater self-love through her stories and learned techniques. It is therefore Shevy’s hope to connect more and more with others out there committed to the same or similar dream.

Contact Shevy today at waystoselflove@gmail.com to schedule appointments for

workshops and guest lectures, promotional opportunities with related products and services, or simply to share and build a connection.

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