Pagan, Witch and Witchcraft Lightbulb Jokes

Pagan...
Q: How many Dianic Wiccans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one, and it's NOT FUNNY!!! Q: How many Dianics does it take to change a light bulb? A: (any large number here) -- One to change the light bulb, one to prepare the environmental impact statement, and the rest to do a self-criticism afterwards... Q:How many years does it take a Dianic Wiccan to change a light bulb? A: You can change it whenever you are empowered to do so. Q: How many years does it take a Dianic Wiccan to change a light bulb? A: Not sure.....we'll call Z. Budapest and get back to you! Q:How many Druids does it take to change a light bulb? A: They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in Stone Circles. Q: How many Druids does it take to change a light bulb? A: Thirteen! One to hold the bulb and 12 to drink enough to make the room spin. Q: How many years does it take a Druid to change a light bulb? A: 21, unless you're Irish. Q: How many Isians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three. One to change the light bulb, one to handle publicity, and one to write the newsletter. Q: How many Family traditionalists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Candle light was good enough for our ancestors, it's good enough for us! Q: How many Brit.Trad WItches does it take to change a light bulb? A: Thirteen. One to change the bulb, and 12 to mourn the passing of the old bulb. Q: How many Gardnerian witches does it take to change a light bulb? A: It's a third degree secret. Q: How many years does it take a Gardnerian witch to change a light bulb? A: A year and A day in an Outer Grove, a year and a day at first level, a year and a day at second level, but only third levels change light bulbs. Q: How many Alexandrian witches does it take to change a light bulb? A: "Lets go see how the Gardnerians do it!"

YOU! And for only $195 we'll send you our complete "Witches Magic Power of Light Bulb Changing Course" with real knowledge that you can apply this to ANY light bulb ANYWHERE! Listen to the testimony of a young couple from Wisconsin who. Q: How many Starhawk Witches does it take to change a light bulb? A: (plaintively) "There are starving villages in Africa that don't even HAVE light bulbs." Q: How many Erisians does it take to change a light bulb? A: "How many of them are there?" Q: How many Wiccans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Four. but you can do it now if you are solitary. drum your fingers and stare at them as you wait for them to grasp the obvious) Q: How many years does it take for a solitary Witch to change a light bulb? A: How long does it take to get one out of the closet? Q: How many years does it take a Kitchen Witch to change a light bulb? A: Its already been changed. it depends how hard you study. "Practical Light Bulb Changing" by Raymond Buckland. One to change it..Q: How many years does it take an Alexandrian Witch to change a light bulb? A: That's the Maiden's Job. Maiden . Q: How many years does it take a White Light Wiccan to change a light bulb? A: Look deep within and find your true essence. and five to sit around complaining that light bulbs never burned out before those damned Christians came along. Q: How many solitary Witches does it take to change a light bulb? A: (if they actually ask 'how many?'.Make it so... . Q: How many Frost "School of Wicca" Witches does it take to change a light bulb? A: "Just you! That's right. Q: How many members of IOT does it take to screw in a leigh? A: Sorry." Q: How many Pagans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Six. That will tell you how long it will take. One for each quarter." Q: How many years does it take a Starhawk Witch to change a light bulb? A: Well.... that ritual is copyrighted. Q: How many Proteans does it take to change a light bulb? A: I can't tell you--they never change a light bulb the same way twice! Q: How many Proteans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: How many will fit? Q: How many Buckland Witches does it take to change a light bulb? A: "Refer to my second book.

. one to hold the bulb.. Every One of them is a Star. Q: How many Sex magicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: They don't screw in light bulbs. They hold it up. One to do it..Q: How many Thelemites does it take.. they do it in great rites. one to publish it. Q: How many Witches does it take to change a light bulb? A: What do you want it changed into? Q: How many Witches does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. one to write poetry about it. Q: How many NRDers does it take to change a light bulb? A: 14. but they have to be very small! Q: How many Tantrics does it take to change a light bulb? A: 2 as long as the lamp is by the bed. three to decipher the Light Bulb Ritual from the Secret Chiefs. they screw on the altar! Q: How many Sex magicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only two.. Q: How many Kabbalists does it take to change a light bulb? A: 261.. and 12 to hold a Council and decide whether or not the poem's authentic. Q: How many Taurus does it take to change a light bulb? A: What. Magickal. and one to sue all the others. but it takes a hell of a lot of light bulbs. A: None. Q: How many Ceremonial magicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: One. and the world revolves around them. me move? . Astrology Q: How many Aries does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one.. Q: How many Golden Dawners does it take to change a light bulb? A: One to hold the ladder.

Q: How many New Agers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Five. One to change it and four to share the experience! Q: How many New Agers does it take to change a light bulb? A: (in a flaky voice) We don't use light bulbs. Mercury's retrograde!" General. Visa or MC accepted. we just think happy thoughts at our quartz crystals and they glow.. it takes many many years. Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Have you asked the bulb if it WANTS to be changed? Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a light bulb? A: What light bulb? Q: How many astrologers does it take to change a light bulb? A: "Don't ask me now. one to install. Q: How many Leos does it take to change a light bulb? A: A dozen. and a Virgo to pick up the pieces.. Q: How many years does it take for a New-ager to change a light bulb? A: Well. and two engineers to check the work. . one to dust the bulb. They LIKE the dark. Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a light bulb? A: The light's fine as it is. Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a light bulb? A: One to install the bulb. Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a light bulb? A: One to clean out the socket. and eleven to applaud. Q: How many Libras does it take to change a light bulb? A: Libras can't decide if the bulb needs to be changed. Then you can do it after the weekend intensive training seminar. but he has to bring his mother.Q: How many Gemini does it take to change a light bulb? A: 2 Q: How many Cancer does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one. One to change the bulb. unless you pay $650 US non refundable.

CO. 20 to drink till the world spins. is she a Sandwich? Q: What's Wiccan. Q: How many Odinists does it take to change a light bulb? A: 21. whereas the New Age Witch will sink under the weight of all their overpriced crystals. flies around. Blonde Jokes Q: Why did the blond pagan have a lasso? A: She wanted to draw down the moon. one to hold the light bulb. mecca of new agers) does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. dream bags and crystals at the same time. .Q: How many Boulderites (as in Boulder.. and makes honey? A: The Blessed Bee! Q: What do you say to an angry witch? A: Ribbit Q: What's the difference between a New Ager and a Pagan? A: A decimal point.. Q: How do you tell a New Age witch from a NeoPagan Witch? A: You throw them both in the water. Q: If a Witch practices on the beach. Circle Etiquette (varied sources) • Never summon Anything you can't banish. Q: What happens when a Ceremonial Magician gets angry? A: He goes Qua-ballistic.. The NeoPagan Witch will float. Q: Why did the blond pagan have a remote control? A: She wanted to channel. They just join self-help groups to learn to live with darkness in their lives. • Never put asafoetida on the rocks in the sweat lodge. you can get from a local Pagan for $30. • Do not attempt to walk more than 10 paces while wearing all of your ritual jewelry. An item you'll pay $300 to a New Ager for. Q: How can you tell a blonde pagan closed the circle? A: There's white-out on the floor.

• When proposing to initiate someone. *ever* set the Witch on fire. • A good grasp of ritual and ritual techniques are essential! In the event of a random impaling. • Never. do not mention the Great Rite. thereby allowing you to advance quickly through the ranks. • Looking at nifty pictures is not a valid path to mastering the ancient grimoires. Make them another sacrifice. • Avoid joining your life force to anything with glowing red eyes. Demons really love those those. it is equally likely to get you strapped to a table and eaten alive by a drooling demonic horde. leer. your trad or mine?" • Never laugh at someone who is skyclad. Malevolent entities rarely ask for photo ID. Please read thoroughly and carefully from beginning to end so that your madness and gibberings will at least make some sense. Soak ritual garments an extra 30-45 minutes. too. slurring the names of Deities is generally considered bad form. • If asked to sign a contract or pact and you are experiencing doubts or reservations. . (see next rule) a quick thinker can improvise to ensure successful completion of the Rite. or other accidental death amongst the participants. They can see you. resist the urge to raise your hand! While it is true that volunteering will most likely gain you stature and prestige amongst the group. • Avoid walking through disembodied spirits. • Carry an all-purpose translator's dictionary in case the ritual leader begins talking in some strange and unknown language. • Blood IS thicker than water. • While drunken weaving may be mistaken for ecstatic dancing. • If the ritual leader should ask for a volunteer. and say. sign your neighbor's name. • Watch where you wave the sharp pointy items. "Hey.