Things to Keep in Mind: • • • • Never use the word this as a pronoun. EVER. It is an adjective.

You will respect that. You may be able to connect just about anything to Waiting for Godot. Unlike other classes, in English, notes require effort and are, at all times, COPIUS. David Shou will always get five percent higher than you. Even if you get a hundred percent. Even if he hasn’t done the assignment. The above applies for Sairam as well. Even though they will not be taking this class by the time you read this pamphlet, Sairam and David will still receive A’s through Ed-Line Sometimes, you will read poems about horrific murders, child beatings, uxoricides*, and Scottish women wailing, and they will make sense. During the year, you will have at least two sudden changes in a situation, where, upon referring to these as “peripetias,” your non-IB friends will look at you with bewildered incredulity. You begin to closely (over)analyze everyday things, to the unhappiness of your comrades. For example, in a standard IM conversation: <Screen name censored>: What’s up? theimusicman: Not much.

there's a minute segment sticking out of the half circle, depicting the motif of looking for an answer. There's also a dot at the bottom, showing finality of an idea, which is the goal of said symbol. Here, it is used to depict the character's confusion at what is going on, showing consternation towards the main idea, of what is, in fact, up. Be prepared to dance, act, choreograph, sing, play an instrument, mime, memorize, and think. This is a chance to do some of the things you don’t often do in other classes. If you have English first period, Ms. Gaylor will give you some extra time to sleep before class. If you are in another period, don’t fret, you can just sleep during class. (Probably an aftereffect of the aforementioned IB method) If you are assigned a graphic organizer, it is in your best interests to complete it. As in, if you do not complete it, you will fail the in-class essay. Horrendously. Sometimes, you will find yourself making connections to seemingly unrelated things like the history of the Pueblo Indians or Pokémon. You will find that the deeper and farther you go with your comparison, the better you understand the analysis you are making. William Shakespeare was a dirty old man. In his story, Romeo and

An indispensable pamphlet on the necessities called upon by those who attend this most crucial class over the course of their freshman year to broaden and extend, lengthen and widen, increase and enhance their knowledge of the English language and their familiarity with great works of literature, and how to deal with it. -- Darles Chickens

<Screen name censored>: ? theimusicman: That's a question mark. ANALYSIS: The question mark is an oft-used symbol of curiosity and intuitiveness. It is composed of a half circle, as if to say, “I'm not so sure. I lost the * Uxoricide is half.” as the killing of one’s wife (possibly other defined But
with her hair)


Juliet, there will be sexual references and innuendos in almost every passage. If you miss them, beware. They will be explained. In detail. GREAT detail. Through all you of what you undergo over the course of the year, English is one of the most entertaining, insightful, and 6 interesting classes. You will have to work, but deal with it.


How To Work Like an IB Student So you have a paper to do in English that will drastically affect your grade, your future, your utter and total self esteem? Well, here’s what you would do to work like a true IB student: 1. Realize you have a paper to do in English that will drastically affect your grade, your future, your utter and total self esteem. 2. Realize that it’s ten o’clock. At night. 3. Realize that you’re out of coffee. 4. Freak out. Alright, we seem to be heading on a good course. Thank god you acted like a good IB student and procrastinated until the last minute! Now, let’s start this thing. 5. Get on the computer and start up Word. Write your heading and a creative title, such as “Essay.” This is going well! 6. Fall asleep. Darn it. Thank god you have alarm clocks set to every hour situated around your computer. 7. Wake up. 8. Realize that it’s eleven o’clock. At night. 9. Look at the rubric. 10.Groan. 11.Grudgingly do the introduction. Gain confidence and do much of the body paragraphs.

Baseball, Softball, Multiball, French Honors Society, Spanish Honors Society, British Honors Society, and the bus ride back home to the outskirts of Montgomery County where you no doubt live. You get down three stairs and, subsequently, fall asleep. 13.Wake up, yet again. 14. Realize it’s twelve o’clock. IN THE MORNING. 15. Cry a little. 16. Resolve never to leave something this late again; tell yourself you should have never procrastinated. 17. Finish the concluding paragraph; forget to proofread. 18. Check Facebook for any updates your similarly situated friends may have made. For example, “Nick is finally done with the TOTC essay. He hopes that he gave enough support for his second body paragraph, as his success was minimal the last time,” “Josh is proud of his work ethic and is sure that his interpretation of the symbolic meaning of the Odyssey couldn’t be closer to Homer’s,” or my personal favorite, “Caitlin is done. WOOOOOHOO

brag about your achievement to your friends later that day. Go back and check your assignment. 21. Make sure it is formatted correctly, as in Arial or Times New Roman, (so that it is legible, thus subject to grades),

So that the and in size teacher 12 font (to make the all the readers can squint)
22.Catch the bus. Bring coffee. Bring lots.

with the lines double spaced,

Now we’re getting somewhere! 12. Finish with the body paragraphs. You decide to take a quick break to get something to eat, because due to your IBness, you have not had time to eat between school, Drama, 2 Track,

OOOOOYAAAYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111” 19. Go to sleep. As you fall into your slumber, you look at the clock and see that it’s four thirty. That’s great. You’re finally done, 3 right? 20. Wake up. It’s five thirty. You realize that you got an hour of sleep. You feel immense pride and decide to