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Why Women Love Bastards:

From Nice Guy to Dream Man

A Man's Guide to Holding His Own POWER in a Relationship


By Tigress Luv

Why Women Love Bastards


Contents
Section 1 Introduction to the Nice Guy Section 2 Nice Guys: You Either Have It or You Don't Section 3 The Bad Boy - What's the REAL Attraction? Section 4 How to Be the Bastard that Women Love Section 5 The Spoiled, Pampered Bitch - the REAL Problem! Section 6 Men are Men, Women are Women. Deal With It! Section 7 Opposites Truly Do Attract! BONUS How To Be A Bastard Quick-Start Guide: How to Become the Bastard that Women Love in 10 Easy Steps

By Tigress Luv
Copyright

2006 Lifted Hearts Network. All Rights Reserved


Advice For Men

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
Introduction to the Nice Guy

Foreword
I am very pleased to offer you this ebook and - in all honesty - I truly believe that women will be a lot happier in the long run when they FINALLY find that man that makes their hearts' go 'Giddy-Up' and their mouths coo, "MMMmmmmMMM, what a Man!!!" Now I know this ebook is about how to be the 'Bastard' that every woman loves, but in order to do that you must first understand who that 'Nice Guy/Non-bastard' is that every woman runs from - at least, who she thinks he is. Meaning, this isn't necessarily the true description of the Nice Guy according to the Nice Guy. Anyway, I will start out with boring pages about Nice Guys and how people view them, and why chicks think they don't like them, and other boring stuff like that - stuff which you've probably read a thousand times before and is absolutely meaningless when it comes down to Why Women Love Bastards, and also stuff which really won't 'help' you any, except in maybe seeing the Nice Guy as others' see him. But, once we get past this boring introduction to the Nice Guy, we start to get more serious and soon you will be going 'Ah ha!', too. Later on I will reveal the secret to being the Bastard that every woman wants, and then I will expound on that theory so much that you'll probably either end up turning gay, or totally wishing I would just shut my big, fat, female mouth so you can get on with your life as a Bastard.. First off, let me bore you with my explanations on a few misconceptions about the 'Nice Guy'. The typical 'Nice Guy' is an image, and nothing at all to do with a Good Man. Every woman wants a Good Man. Every woman. A Good Man is someone who has self-respect, who doesn't allow himself to be played upon. He loves himself and demands respect. However, the

typical Nice Guy stirs in woman images of a sappy, meek man...not at all someone you and your children could rely on in a crisis! Sorry, fellows, but it's true. And I'll tell you why later on in the ebook. I'll also tell you how, unlike the other books you've probably read that were written on this subject, getting the girl really isn't about self-confidence, or not being insecure, or being a jerk, etc., that other books stress on about. Yes, those features are a good attribute to have, and they are extremely attractive (well, not the 'jerk' one), but those features alone won't get you the girl, and keep the girl hopelessly attached to you. In fact, without doing the one thing I am going to tell you to do, those features won't do much good for you beyond her first initial attraction. And you want more than that, don't you? Nice Guys are okay. Bad Boys are okay. Well, all men are okay to me because I LOVE men! I am just so damned grateful to be born a woman! So who do you think will end up being the better, and chosen, man? The Nice Guy or the Jerk? I can't tell you that... ....but I will ask you: If the end of the world were near and its survival chances precariously relied upon the skills of a great leader, would you rather have your leader be a sensitive, congenial 'Nice Guy' or a dispassionate Bastard who knows how to get things done, and isn't afraid to hurt some feelings along the way? I thought so :)

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
Introduction to the Nice Guy
To many women "niceness" is a screaming, red-flashing warning of meek! Nice Guys have no mystery, nor intrigue. They are like reading the last chapter of the ebook of your life first. The rest of your life (with them) is guaranteed to be boring, as you know exactly where it will lead. To nothingness. Let me explain...

Looking For One Good Man? - Why Women Don't Date 'Nice Guys'
by Tigress Luv

All women (well, at least the more normal ones) are looking for one Good
Man. But... ....a Nice Guy doesn't necessarily constitute a Good Man, and a Good Man isn't necessarily a Nice Guy. Confusing? It shouldn't be... Yes, a Good Man is not the same as a Nice Guy. And a Bad Boy is never a Good Man, nor a Nice Guy. In the following pages I will describe my opinion of Good Men, Nice Guys, and Bad Boys. I am sometimes brutally honest in my evaluation - so be warned.

Why Women Say They Want a Nice Guy....


....Because of the qualities that a 'Nice Guy' represents. Nice Guys are known as caring, kind, considerate, polite, sensitive, and in total 'awe' of you! Nice Guys are as easy to confide in, and talk to, as our girlfriends, not just because they listen, but because - like our girlfriends - they understand. They make good company, and are non-threatening to our weaker gender. They have good jobs and are well-respected members of the community. They make good fathers and are gentle and considerate lovers, and very faithful and devoted mates. Nice Guys are very giving and only think of others.

So, What Makes Women Run from Them Faster than an Indy Car

at the 500? (And, yes, this list may sound cruel - but, before
jumping to any pre-conceived judgments, please read the explanations that follow it) We don't find Nice Guys sexually attractive Nice Guys lack self-confidence and are insecure Nice Guys have no mind of their own Nice Guys come off almost as effeminate Nice Guys are looking for a 'Mama', not a woman There just isn't any 'tension' - that existing thrill that makes you feel that you're living - when you're with a Nice Guy 7. Nice Guys dress like 1950 Sears Roebuck models 8. Nice Guys cry 9. We can't feed our ego when we don't have to 'work at' getting/keeping a man 10. It's uncomfortable to be placed on a pedestal 11. Nice Guys suffocate you 12. Nice Guys are boring 13. Nice Guys are delusional 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
Introduction to the Nice Guy
1) We don't find them sexually attractive: In fact, they can be downright ugly. The Bad Boys are sexier because they have a certain air of sensuality about them. That's because Bad Boys are streetsmart...tough...hard. Usually the worst experience that a Nice Guy has had was getting jilted, or being unpopular in school. They just don't have the street-smarts that 'toughens' a man - making him appear sexier because they just haven't had lives. Nice Guys 'shuffle-walk'. When you see a Nice Guy walking you get the impression that a mild gust of wind could come up at any moment and blow them over. Nice Guys may even be overly aware of their walk as they tend to be 'insecure', making their walk appear unbalanced and awkward, and even sometimes somewhat weak, doggedly, and cowardly. You can often see a Nice Guy walk away in an elaborate, exaggerated nonchalance, or even with a slight hint of feline grace. Bad Boys don't walk - they lead with confident authority. Bad Boys strut. They stride. They catapult. They battle forward. Their walks say, 'you mess with me, you pay the fee'. You feel safe when a Bad Boy leads your way. Nice Guys 'comb'. They make clean, straight parts in their hair, almost exactly two-inches above their left ear, and make sure every hair is properly greased into place. Rigid. Who can look at this and want to run their fingers through it? Bad Boys' hair looks inviting. Disarrayed. Sexy. Loose. Easy. Touchable. Receptive. Alluring. Like Fabio and Brad Pitt. Nice Guys are clean-shaven. Clean = sterile. Sterile = frigid. Frigid = no heat. Clean-shaven faces, therefore, kill passion. Bad Boys aren't cleanshaven. They've got better things to do. Like live. They have manly shadows. Handsomely rugged. Wolfish. Roguish. Nice Guys awkwardly sip cocktails; Bad Boys take lustful swigs of beer. Nice Guys steal a look at women, or openly and ignorantly stare at them; Bad Boys have more self-confidence making provocative, scorching eye

contact that makes her heart race. Nice Guys, although pleasant and predictable, don't have that edge-ofthe-seat, thrilling air of sensuality about them that their Bad Boy opposites have. There is no excitement, no rush of adrenaline, no feelings of being 'alive'. No fire. No flame. No flint, even.

Nice Guy/Bad Boy sexual attractiveness comparison list: NICE GUYS


even-tempered laid-back well-mannered / meek mild non-combative understanding responsible pacifistic calm starchy / conservative taciturn has no opinions / wishywashy reserved boringly maintains the same routine passive

BAD BOYS
gritty adventurous / risk-taking daringly brash powerful heroic disgusted by weakness edge of the seat, dangerously impulsive hard-driving macho spontaneous, devil-may-care suave worldly, confident, assertive show-offy, flirtatious spur-of-the-moment man courageous

So, to sum it all up, women just flat out are not attracted to the Nice Guy image. There isn't any chemical attraction: no spark, no thrill, no throbbing rush that courses through their veins. Seriously, have you ever heard a

woman say, "Wow! What a fox that Nice Guy is. He is a really hot Nice Guy! Makes me want to purr..." ? see, you just don't hear that, because it just isn't said! The main reason here is that there is just no thrill of victory waiting at the end, no luring edge-of-the-cliff excitement...nothing to 'lure' the woman. No risk. No rewards. No ravishing desire to conquer the Nice Guy because he is such a willing prey. And no, I'm not going to tell you that you have to become a Chippendale dancer to become the Bastard that women love. But later I will tell you the real reason why Nice Guys just don't make the cut. And it's not what you think.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
Introduction to the Nice Guy
2) They lack self-confidence and are insecure: Most Nice Guys lack self-confidence and are prone to insecurities. They don't feel like they deserve the woman of their interest - or any woman for that matter. They feel awkward, and out of place in the singles' world, yet lack the confidence and security to be comfortable with themselves long enough to attract a woman. However, self-confidence is one of the most sexiest most attractive - attributes any person can have. By following my secret in this book you will naturally gain back your self-confidence. And it is far more appealing than money, far more sexy than Fabio's body, far more attractive than a handsome face. But Nice Guys lack this self-confidence. And when a Nice Guy doesn't believe they deserve a certain woman - or could ever have a remote chance at any woman - they come off as a real loser. A nothing. And who wants a loser - a nothing? Heck, if he doesn't even like himself, then why should she like him? Even if the Nice Guy does have self-confidence, he comes off as not having it. He appears to be lacking self-assurance and self-respect of any kind. And no, I'm not going to tell you to gain self-confidence to become the Bastard that women love. Insecure men who lack confidence don't lead on the dance floor. They don't take charge when the woman is tired. They don't get good tables at the restaurants. They don't sweep women off their feet with their savoirfaire! Nice Guys who lack self-assurance and self-confidence can quickly become emotionally attached, sucking the life out of women. An insecure, unconfident man tends to exaggerate what he thinks a woman wants - and that is to feel good about herself by relating to somebody who understands her. This is his way of letting the woman know he is attracted to her. However, the way the Nice Guy goes about this is often overbearing. He'll laugh at all of her jokes and all those little

witty remarks she may make ... whether they are funny or not! The Nice Guy who lacks in self-confidence is awkward in bed. He either quickly gets the 'act' over with, or he fumbles, and is so passive and gentle, the woman will wonder if he is even sexually attracted to her. 'Perhaps he is gay?' she will wonder. Nice Guys like that are usually prone to very quick love-making sessions, usually finishing off long before she has even gotten started. "Oops - didn't mean to wake you, there." Nice Guys will do things that they 'think' a woman wants, but since they lack self-confidence they will demand constant positive feedback on every little gesture that they do. What woman wants to be asked all evening long, "did you really like the flowers? They weren't too much were they? Did you like the color? I was worried about getting you 'yellow' roses. Are you going to show them to your mother?" Nice Guys tend to be hideously insecure and very rarely, if ever, do anything for a woman for the simple sake of doing it. Every little thing they do for a woman is like a stock investment. They keep very careful and close tabs on these things. The more they do for a woman, the more they think they should automatically win her Acceptance and Approval. And if the woman should show this man her grateful acceptance and approval she will have just hung herself. She has now guaranteed herself a future of him clinging to her like a drowning man to a lifesaver. Some Nice Guys turn into stalkers.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
Introduction to the Nice Guy
The insecure Nice Guy lacks the confidence to approach a woman he finds attractive. So he just 'hangs around' her, pretending to be her 'friend'. He will hover around her - loudly calling her pet names like 'dear' and 'honey' should another man walk her way. The insecure Nice Guy is not sexy; he is suffocating, clinging and obsessive. He has issues that are usually 'unworkable'. A Nice Guy may appear to be everything a girl thinks she wants, but she is just not attracted to him. The problem appears to be that he is just plain uncomfortable with, and not confident in, himself. He makes himself too readily available and easily 'hooked' - there is no thrill of victory and little danger of loss that can keep the Nice Guy interesting. Why do Nice Guys lack confidence? Because they tend to be 'rescuers', consistently trying to use the 'knight in shining armor' system as a method to get their foot in the door. This means that many Nice Guys unfortunately attract manipulative women, which they usually end up having bad experiences with... eventually damaging their own selfconfidence. But this tells us that at one time he did have self-confidence, and he still got dumped, used, or disrespected. More on that later, but for now I will continue... Too, because a Nice Guy will think that everything he does for a woman is like a down payment on her soul, he ends up feeling overly used and rejected when Nice Girls do dump him. He doesn't realize he was dumped because perhaps he came on as a mindless, suffocating, insecure person. He thinks he is Nice and all women must be complete idiots because they turn away his Niceness and opt for Naughtiness instead. The more times this rejection happens the more he starts to feel less and less confident in his ability to 'save' the maiden in distress. This eventually lowers his self-confidence even more. It is a no win situation. The harder he tries and fails, the less his confidence - and the more he gets rejected. The more he gets rejected the more insecure he feels. The more insecure

he feels the more likely the chance he will get rejected - yet again. Soon he begins to lose his 'respect' for women. He insults them, "women must like abuse - why else do they keep going back to the jerks!" Or he becomes obsessed with one woman in particular - even to the point of 'stalking' her. This woman is the one he thinks is going to 'fix' him. Sometimes the Nice Guy can become secretly 'bitter' to women. Some Nice Guys turn into abusers and rapists. Why? Because eventually being used by manipulative women and rejected by the nice women who go after the Bad Boys (and then run moaning back to the Nice Guy about the bad treatment they receive) can turn even the Nicest Guy into a woman hater. He loves women, wants a woman of his own - yet ends up disrespecting them and resenting them for their rejection of him, and their 'power' over him. Abuse and rape are two ways for him to regain his power over women.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
Introduction to the Nice Guy
3) Nice Guys have no mind of their own: As stated on my Planet of the Exes site, "Dating a nice guy is like dating yourself. If you like Broccoli, he likes Broccoli. If you hate Jay Leno, he hates Jay Leno. If you order a Shirley Temple, he orders a Shirley Temple. If you are pro capital punishment, he is pro capital punishment. If you think Austin Powers was disgusting he thinks Austin Powers was disgusting. If you prefer Kotex over Tampax... " Nice Guys don't get into deep, philosophical conversations that make one 'think'. Nice Guys ask what their date is eating before they order. Nice Guys don't take over and make important decisions. If a Nice Guy goes on a date, he will ask the woman to choose the restaurant, the movie, the after dinner drink. If a woman marries a Nice Guy he will let her chose the car they own, which house they buy, the name of their children, the budget, who they will visit on the Holidays, and where they will go on vacation. She might as well be dating or married to herself, because he hasn't one valid opinion of his own! Nice Guys let the woman make all the moves in bed, his main goal is to make her happy - so she'll never want to leave him. True, it is a sweet, considerate gesture, but rather codependent, wouldn't you say? What about making her feel desirable, lusted after - you're so damned hot I just gotta have you now, baby! When one person makes all the sexual advances in a relationship that person starts to feel 'sexually unattractive' to their mates. But the Nice Guy has no clue as to this fact. If he wants to have sex with her, he will patiently wait - not voicing his need - just hoping that eventually she will make the first move. Nice Guys can sometimes become so desperate to please a woman that they think they have to mimic every aspect of her to gain her acceptance. This is nerve-racking to the woman! Who wants to be on a date with somebody who is a ditto of themselves? Boring! Yet, repeatedly, Nice Guys tend to demonstrate no identity of their own. Ask a Nice Guy his thoughts on anything. Guess what? He doesn't have any!

And most Nice Guys can be so eager to please a woman, or win a woman over, that they very rarely will speak up when something bothers them lest they turn the woman away. Thus, Nice Guys can sometimes build up resentment for the objects of their love, using this total 'mind-surrender' of theirs as a martyr's weapon - "Everything I did, I did for you". Nice guys truly think that they are making their girlfriends happy by sacrificing their own life; desires; wants; needs; opinions; and identities to that of their girlfriends. Although this appears as a very good character, Nice Guys can actually make a woman their whole entire Life, their only source of happiness. This places a tremendous amount of burden on the woman. Who wants to be entirely responsible for another's happiness? And no, I'm not going to tell you to get a mind of your own to become the Bastard that women love.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
Introduction to the Nice Guy
4) They come off almost as effeminate: Yes, the Nice Guy often comes off as effeminate. Why? Many reasons, but let's first take a look at our different genders via our stereotyped roles. Traditionally women are noted to be more calm, passive, conservative, and graceful. They are gentle, kind, considerate, understanding, and caring, They nurse and mother, and they are 'giving' almost to the point of often times losing themselves. Women often need to give love to feel in touch with their more feminine sides. Men, on the other hand, are noted for their assertive, bold, take charge attitudes. They walk with more determination. They speak with a powerful voice. They lead nations with authorative confidence. They aggressively push their way to the top of the ladder and have the strength and endurance to survive and excel once they get there. They are confident with themselves and feel right at home in their own company. Although they want mates, they don't feel the need to give love to feel in touch with their more masculine side. Now, there are just as many men that say they want a Good Woman who can be their best friend, their buddy - someone who understands and accepts them - as there are women who say they want a Nice Guy. Trouble is, when a woman becomes too 'buddy' with any man she also becomes less feminine to him. She becomes one of the 'guys'. She walks with more determination and less grace. She slaps a high five more often then she nurtures a wound. She is more aggressive; louder; assertive; and overly self-reliant. She has become more the traditional 'male' in her outward characteristics, than 'female'. This isn't to say that deep inside she doesn't feel like a woman! She just emits an impression that she is more like 'one of the guys'. And then she wonders, 'if the guys all say they want a women who can be their best friend - who can understand them why then, am I still single and alone? How come they skip right by me and ask the other women out?' Because, to him she is more masculine in her ways, then feminine. And men are attracted to those graceful, feminine, charming ways!

Now, take your typical Nice Guy. Here he comes along, and he is warm and kind and caring, and understanding, and nurturing, and giving - often to the point of 'losing himself'. The Nice Guy is the one that women will confide in - they will talk to the Nice Guy about any and everything, not just because he listens, but because he can relate. And what happens? He starts to walk with less determination and with more grace. He 'understands' a woman and can talk to her like he is one of her best friends. He can feel her hurt and sympathize with her - and he lets her take the floor. And just like the 'Good Woman' who became a man's 'buddy', in her eyes he starts to become almost effeminate in his ways. He gives - and gives - and gives. He is kind, caring, gentle, and overly eager to please. She can turn to him with her problems just like he was one of her girlfriend's - but she can't confidently and safely feel female and lean on his masculinity. To her he has become more the traditional 'female' in his outward characteristics, than 'male'. This isn't to say that deep inside he doesn't feel like a man! He just emits an impression of being more like 'one of the girls'. And then he says to himself, 'if the women all say they want a man who is a Nice Guy, why then am I still single and alone? How come they skip right by me and go out with the Bad Boys?' Because, for the most part, masculine is attracted to feminine, and feminine is attracted to masculine. And masculine has been stereotyped as hard, strong, unyielding - not kind; caring; sympathetic; nurturing; and eager to please others.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
Introduction to the Nice Guy
How else does a Nice Guy effeminate himself? Through kindness. Being kind has been misunderstood as synonymous with being weak, effeminate, or unmanly. Not to say that being a man means being unkind but to say that masculinity is often times witnessed in leadership. Great leadership is often obtained by a man who can instill fear and intimidation in the people; by a man who speaks with self-confidence and selfcommitment, and by a man of courage and power - which is often obtained by 'hidden' overbearing and selfish methods, not by kindness. But instilling fear and intimidation are not part of the Nice Guy's modus operandi. Self-confidence, self-commitment, raw courage and almighty power are some of the masculine qualities of which the Nice Guys just don't emit. Leadership has long been leagued with masculinity, while being a follower is often associated with weakness, meekness, insecurities, and ignorance. And no, I'm not going to tell you to instill fear and intimidation to become the Bastard that women love. So, to sum it all up, men are attracted to femininity and women are attracted to masculinity. Another reason why seemingly good, sensible, intelligent women turn down the Nice Guy and rush back into the arms of a masculine Bad Boy, and why seemingly Good Men pass up the accepting, supportive Nice Girl and rush into the arms of the manipulative - but feminine - Gold Digger. 5) Nice Guys are looking for a 'Mama', not a woman: Nice Guys either live with their mothers, or think all women should be like their mothers. They want a woman who is non-demanding in their love. Who nurses them like they were a baby. Someone who will lovingly rub Vicks on their chest after warming it up so as not to 'shock' him. Someone who will gladly stand at the stove for hours preparing their favorite food, whilst darning their socks and knitting them a scarf at the same time. Although this is a nice dream, women like that don't exist - and if they did they wouldn't have any interest in a man who expects to be pampered and babied as if he were some helpless chap in a children's hospital. Most

women like to be treated as equal, not glamorized on a pedestal, aproned in the kitchen, or made love to like a precious china doll that could break at any moment. And no, I'm not going to tell you to take care of yourself to become the Bastard that women love.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
Introduction to the Nice Guy
6) There just isn't any 'tension' - that existing thrill that makes you feel that you're living - when you're with a Nice Guy: Calmness. Total calmness. Nothing but calmness - is boring! A young woman seeks excitement, thrills, and 'safe' danger. They seek challenges; conflicts; tension; and upsets. These edge-of-seat anxious moments, unfortunately, are sometimes what makes us feel alive. As a woman ages into her late 30's, 40', 50's, and beyond, she stops seeking the thrills and starts seeking the 'calmness'. It is at this point in her life where a woman will purposely seek out a 'Nice Guy'. But, a Nice Guy to a younger woman just doesn't give her that challenge and 'upset' that she needs to grow - to feel alive. The problem with the Nice Guy is that there just is no 'edge-of-the-seat' thrill to victory, and very little danger of loss - the two elements that can keep a man interesting to a woman. The thrill of the chase, the desire to win him over, and the desire to conquer a man intrigues women, making their life exciting and worth living. Nice Guys are just too easy. Too boring. Too calm. Too easily accessible. Too ready. Too needy. Too willing. Too ruled. Too available. And too good. Too good? Yes! Think about it. What experiences in your life do you remember? What specific parts of any romantic dates? What parts of any vacations? What work-related events or happenings? I know I can tell you which ones you probably don't remember! The ones where everything went smooth. No fiascos. No flat tires. No unmet deadlines. See, as unfortunate as it is we remember mostly the times in our life that were negative, uncomfortable, or unexpected roadblocks or experiences. We remember that flat tire we had in the pouring rain more than we can recall those five glorious, stress-free days we spent lying around on the beach. We remember that one romantic dinner date where everything went wrong, and not the thousands of dates that went in an uneventful and smooth manner. The plain fact of the matter is that people remember negative and difficult moments, and forget moments where everything went perfectly smooth. We remember in exact and vivid detail the few bad

occurrences in our life, but can barely recall even one of the trillions and trillions of good ones. "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they are going to feel all day." ~Frank Sinatra Relationships with perfect people, under perfect conditions, are very unmemorable. Unexciting. BORING! Yet relationships with some kind of mild form of tension, turmoil, upset, or negativity make us feel more alive and more attached to our partners. Hence, you can be too good to be memorable. And no, I'm not going to tell you to break her foot on a date, or invite her to a bank robbery to become the Bastard that women love. 7) Nice Guys dress like 1950 Sears Roebuck models: Nice Guys wear:

Tucked in golf shirts / polos Sweaters / Turtle necks Loafers / Sandals w/ socks Cardigan socks Casual slacks Bermuda shorts Windbreakers Underwear - hmmmmm, what's up with that?

They look totally non-threatening and sensitive. Translation: unmanly. If you want to impress a woman look a little more masculine, sexy, dangerous - your own man. Would the girls had thrown themselves at 'The Fonz' had he dressed in bermuda shorts, loafers, socks, and a polo shirt? And no, I'm not going to tell you to don a black leather jacket to become the Bastard that women love.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
Introduction to the Nice Guy
8) Nice Guys cry: Nice Guys are too sensitive, and not in control of their emotions. Men are supposed to appear as the 'stronger' sex. This makes women feel 'safe' and 'protected' in their presence. Women don't want to be with a man that breaks into tears when he watches The Lion King. Also, a Nice Guy who hides his inner insecurities and sensitivities does so only to collect them and explode at you somewhere down the road. A woman wants a man that is in 'control' of his emotions. That can feel compassion and empathy and yet at the same time rationalize and justify it and not break down into emotional tears. We women are emotional enough, and it helps us to be able to lean on someone who can get a grip on their own emotions and give us some sense of stability and strength. Unfortunately, a Nice Guy is often not in 'control' of his emotions. And because he can be so eager to please - he rarely speaks up when something bothers him. But he is so very sensitive that he finds it hard to hold in his 'emotions' and he ends up collecting them, much as a hobbyist would collect coins, only to throw it in your face months down the road. They use these 'suppressed' emotions against women. Thus, they then can play martyr and make their girlfriends feel guilty when they say, "Everything I did, I did for you...". Overly emotional men can appear wimpy and meek. Not someone you would want to be with in an emergency. They appear to lack strength and stamina, two crucial attributes to survival. Needless to say, if the end of the world appeared to be coming I'd rather be lead to safety by a Bad Boy, than huddled under a rock with a trembling, quivering Nice Guy. And no, I'm not going to tell you to be cold-blooded to become the Bastard that women love. 9) We can't feed our ego when we don't have to 'work at' getting/keeping a man: Nice Guys are too eager to show affection. Too available. Who can appreciate that of which they didn't have to work for? Nice Guys are easily used. Women quickly lose respect for a Nice Guy because they are so 'exploited'. Nice Guys truly think that they are making

their girlfriends happy by sacrificing their own life, desires, wants, needs, opinions, and identities to that of their girlfriends. Yes, it's true, a woman may feel like no one will ever love her as much as the Nice Guy does, but there is no thrill in just having..the thrill is in getting - in conquering - in winning over. The thrill of the chase; the desire to win his heart (when he is so determined to not give it away); and the impelling tension of being the one to 'conquer' and 'tame' the Bad Boy is intriguing to a woman - it makes her feel 'alive'. Let's look at this in another way. Let's say that someone 'gave' you a car. Oh, yes, that would be nice! But would it be as thrilling as picking out your own car; gaining pride by knowing you worked hard to be able to afford that car; the thrill of shopping for just the right car; and feeling special because you got to purchase the car before anyone else did? And no, I'm not going to tell you to play hard-to-get to become the Bastard that women love.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
Introduction to the Nice Guy
Mating Rituals of Man (and Woman)
People underestimate the thrill of the hunt and the ego-lifting boost one gets with the kill. I'm not into hunting innocent animals myself, however I don't judge those who do - but, if you are an avid hunter and someone tied a deer up in your front yard, would you feel that winning surge of excitement and conquest if you just went out there and shot it? No! It's the conquer; the hunt; the chase; the 'outsmarting'; and the setting up of a successful trap that is exciting - not the kill. That's why paintball has become such a popular sport. We judge ourselves by our conquests. Fun. Exciting. Ego boosting. Thrilling. Enticing. Alive! So many women play 'hard to get' (we call it 'run away until you catch him') - and it does capture and peak the man's attraction to her. And, just as men need to 'pursue' women, women need to 'work' at their men. They need to try to 'fix' them; change them; get the men to fall in love with them; get the men to marry them; save him from addictions, depression, or nowhere jobs; get the men to give up his buddies; keep him from chasing other women; change his hair, his attitude, his clothing styles; yadda, yadda, yadda. (I mean, isn't that one of man's biggest complaints about women? That she tries to 'change' him.) In both cases, neither man nor woman wants their 'catch' to be ready-done: caught; perfected; cleaned; and served to them on a silver platter. The men want the hunt, the women want the 'cleaning up'. Nice Guys think that if they come 'ready-made-perfect' they are giving the woman exactly what she wants in a man, and therefore the woman won't feel like she has to do anything. That she'd be a fool to leave him and go to the Bad Boy. And they're right. She doesn't have to do anything. Now how exciting can that be? You guessed it! On a scale of one to ten, I would have to give that man about a one on the excitement scale. See the secret about the Bad Boy attraction isn't about her wanting to be abused, neglected, cheated on, or ignored. She doesn't want that at all! It's that he isn't 'perfect' and so she feels the instinctive urge to try to

change him, fix him, or 'clean him up'. That 'trying to change him' is what keeps the woman so 'attracted' to and 'attached' to the man. When she focuses all of her attention on him, he is ALL she thinks about. The more she thinks about him, the more attached to him she becomes, and the more she feels love and devotion to him. When a woman hasn't quite 'perfected' a man, it keeps her attached to - and yearning more for - that man! And most Bad Boys have a life and a mind of their own, and so are not so easily 'changed' or even 'changeable'. Thus, the hook that keeps her attracted to him. How many times have you heard a woman complain to you about some guy who done her wrong, while the whole time she avidly maintains that she is head-over-heels in love with him? "He's a great guy, if only he would change..." But when a Nice Guy comes along, is already 'perfect', and focuses all of his attention to her and entirely on her, unfortunately she will, too! There's nothing to change in him, so she, too focuses on herself, and not on him. When he's not around she doesn't think about him at all! NOT IN THE LEAST BIT! He is already perfect, remember. She doesn't dwell on him. She doesn't wonder what he is up to. She doesn't moan to her friends and other Nice Guys about how he did her wrong, while the whole time she is thinking of him nonstop. No. Nothing. He is out of sight, and out of mind! In fact, he was out of her mind the minute he walked away from her, and probably not even all that much in her mind when he was standing right in front of her talking to her. The Nice Guy needs to focus more attention on himself and try not to be so 'perfect' in order for her to shift her attention from herself back to him. Nice Guys shouldn't make themselves so 'perfect' and 'available'. And no, I'm not going to tell you to play unavailable or be imperfect to become the Bastard that women love. 10) It's uncomfortable to be placed on a pedestal: Nice Guys treat women as if they were a 'special species'. While it can be nice to be made to feel so special - it also can put many a good woman under extreme pressure to feel as though they have to live up to this image of flawless perfection. I, personally, have been in relationships with Nice Guys. They stare at me in total worship and awe. It makes one feel really uncomfortable to have these eyes constantly upon you. Have you ever tried to eat when someone is staring at you? Have you ever tried to watch a movie when

someone is staring at you? Cook? Work? Garden? Bathe? Brush your teeth? Sleep? Drive a car? Oh, argh! I felt like I was being visually consumed. Nice Guys don't understand that women are not fine china...that they will not break under normal circumstances. That women have and pass gas, too. That they snore. That women burn the dinner. That women can change a tire and get grease on their hands. That they can lift a box, and drive themself to the doctor's ...and even make a mistake. Nice Guys build women up to be a superior race of holiness - angels walking the Earth. What then happens? The Nice Guy will feel so undeserving of 'awesome woman' that they make her feel that she has, most assuredly, picked a real loser. And who wants a loser? I don't want to be 'better' than, holier than, or more blessed than any man, I want to be his intellectual and spiritual equal. Nice Guys who make women out to be porcelain goddesses are extremely uncomfortable to be around. Women don't want to feel pressured to keep having to live up to a surreal image. Nice Guys relax! We women will not break! And we're not at all 'perfect'. Bad Boys expect women to make mistakes. They trust her to take care of herself. Bad Boys don't put women up on a pedestal and not let them make any decisions on their own. They don't pressure women to be 'special' but rather accept them for who they are. Nice Guys don't fall in love, they fall in worship. And no, I'm not going to tell you to think poorly of women to become the Bastard that women love.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
Introduction to the Nice Guy
11) Nice Guys suffocate women: If the object of his love walks outside, he walks outside, too. If she goes to the bathroom he whimpers in the hallway right outside the bathroom door, "are you alright in there?" Nice Guys follow their woman to the laundry room, they eaves-drop on her phone conversations, they accompany her to the store. Nice Guys don't go bowling, or join pool tournaments, or visit friends. They never leave their woman's side. Nice Guys suffocate their girlfriends, expecting them to be their lovers, best friend, only friend, mother, sister, business partner, golf buddy, confidant, teacher, princess, china doll, and the Goddess who brings up the sun in their mornings. Nice Guys give up their male friendships (if they even have any to begin with) so they can concentrate on their women. Nice Guys make their girlfriends into their new best buddy Siamese Twin. They may even work two jobs to provide for her, lest she has to actually leave the house and get a life of her own! Nice Guys quickly get emotionally attached sucking the life out of their woman. Nice Guys make their girlfriends feel guilty if they spend a minute anywhere but with them. As quoted from the website, "Nice guys truly think that they are making their girlfriends happy by sacrificing their own life, desires, wants, needs, opinions, and identities to that of their girlfriends. They can then claim that 'no one will ever love you as much as I do'... ....Nice Guys make their women their Life, their only source of happiness. Women hate this burden placed on them." Nice Guys rob women of their much needed space. Women eventually lose touch with their selves and find themselves depressed, empty, and feeling 'lifeless'. Nice Guys need to learn to get a life of their own and 'share' their lives with their women, not suck the life out of their women by expecting her to be the sun in his morning. Nice Guys need to learn not to look to the women for constant approval and self-worth, but to look within

themselves. And no, I'm not going to tell you to give women space to become the Bastard that women love. 12) Nice Guys are boring: "Nice Guys sit there totally entranced by their girlfriends as the girlfriend carries on the whole conversation by themselves. Nice Guys haven't lived so they have nothing to add to the conversation. Nice Guys bore women to death." Yes, it is sometimes true that Nice Guys have no real life or interest of their own, as they tend to place their entire entity onto that of the woman they are with. "They sit around and dream of getting a girlfriend to fill their empty lives." Thus, when they finally do find a woman they just quit living and let themselves become totally absorbed by her. So now they come on as mindless dopes without an opinion or thought of their own. In all fairness, perhaps this isn't true - but it is how they appear to women. Nice Guys will sit there like passive puppies, waiting for their girl to make conversation, or voice a thought ... to which they readily agree with her - no conflicting thoughts, or opposing ideas to add spark and interest. How very boring to the woman at the other end of the conversation! Nice Guys are boring in bed. They are afraid to express their desire...lest they 'disgust' the woman they are with. This only ends up making the woman feel totally undesirable. Yes, Nice Guys can become so desperate to please that they appear to have no identity of their own. You'll never see a Nice Guy run for a political office, because he couldn't voice one singular opinion of his own, yet alone acclaim to possess solutions. And no, I'm not going to tell you to 'get a life' to become the Bastard that women love.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
Introduction to the Nice Guy
13) Nice guys are delusional: Nice Guys pretend to be a woman's friend on the outside, when in reality they are fantasizing about her becoming his wife and mothering his kids. They can fantasize this to the extreme that they actually start to believe it and then get upset should the innocent woman date another. He is delusional - believing that she really is his wife and the mother of his children. Nice Guys also suffer from the "Knight in Shining Armor" syndrome. Possibly because they know that the neediest woman is also the woman most likely to let him get his foot in the door - and endorse his hero delusions - and Nice Guys definitely suffer from the 'Nice Guy Are Heroes' delusion. They pick out the sleaziest, "hard luck" cases to rescue. They circle over woman, constantly on the visual for a woman who is being mistreated by the man in her life, and then they swoop down on her like an Eagle on its prey. "When she sees what a 'perfect' (translation: Nice Guy) I am she will leave the jerk she's with and forever baste in the glory of me. I will come out looking so good next to this jerk." He is so delusional. He is being used, and NOT capturing her attention at all. And no, I'm not going to tell you to get your head out of the clouds to become the Bastard that women love.

Nice Guys...
....just don't understand that they don't excite women. They think all women are stupid martyrs who would rather be with jerks that beat them. These are delusional thoughts. Women just would rather have a man that has some 'life of his own', needs to be 'changed', and has a 'sense of selfrespect' - three things that most Nice Guys don't have. Women don't dream of being beaten, or treated with disrespect - that is not their goal. What a woman wants is one 'Good Man'. A Good Man is a man who has kindness, compassion and is trustworthy and reliable - yet still has a life and a mind of his own. A man who still has the confidence to walk with determination and run for office and lead an army. Moral, ethical, yet

powerful. But not necessarily perfect! And no, I'm not going to tell you to get a life and a mind of your own to become the Bastard that women love.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
Introduction to the Nice Guy
On Nice Guys, Bad Boys, and Good Men: The difference between the three: Nice Guys have no life or mind of their own. Although their intentions may be good, they quickly allow themselves to become absorbed by the women in their life, having no real identity of their own. This is unattractive, boring, and suffocating. Nice Guys appear meek because of this lack of leadership: women feel unsafe with this man. Nice Guys are too perfect, and too available, and too focused on her. This gives her nothing to work at, nothing to clean, and nothing to keep her attached and attracted to him. Her life then lacks excitement and meaning. She feels burdened and pressured by his neediness, and non-stimulated by his problem-free perfection. She feels as if she is the stronger one - the more 'masculine' one. He doesn't make her feel like a 'woman', and he allows himself to be treated in such a way that he shows no respect for himself! This is not attractive at all. They're okay, but I'm really not that into Nice Guys. Bad Boys have too much life of their own. They are fearless. Yes, they may have their own identity; they may dress 'Bad Boy' sexy, and carry themselves with attractive determination. They may be exciting to chase and challenging to be with - often because they treat their women poorly leaving the women hungrily begging for that little morsel of love and attention. 'The cookie crumb' syndrome. This 'edge-of-the-seat' thrill of possible victory, and the very real and eminent danger of loss - is what makes this man interesting to a woman. The thrill of the chase, the desire to win him over, and the desire to conquer a Bad Boy intrigues women, making them feel that their life is exciting and worth living. If they can tame this savage beast surely they must be a woman unlike any other! But, quickly a smart woman learns that the Bad Boy's power lies in his self-gratifying greed, and not in real inner strength. She feels the bite of his callousness, and the bitter taste of his apathy. And she sees right through him and discovers that a Bad Boy is really a very insecure person

- a very controlling and angry, bitter man hiding behind an exterior shield of exaggerated self-importance. And she runs crying to the Nice Guy who wonders why - if she is so miserable - does she keep going back? Which she usually does. For awhile. Until she has had it! She eventually learns that, while the Bad Boy may bring excitement into her life, he also brings into her life 'grief', 'sadness', and 'loneliness' ... and, while the Nice Guy is 'adoring', he is too boring, suffocating, overbearing, and codependent. They're okay, but 'm really not that into Bad Boys. What the Smart Woman eventually learns as she ages into her late 30's, 40's, and beyond, is that she is looking for... ....One Good Man! Good Men are comfortable with their masculinity, making a woman feel good about her femininity. They are confident in themselves, and selfrespectful enough to demand respect from others. They are knowledgeable, worldly, strong, and powerful - yet they still are honest, moral, trustworthy, compassionate, kind, and reliable. They have a mind of their own, are not afraid to voice their beliefs, yet do not impose their beliefs onto others. They are not perfect, and do not pretend to be perfect. They trust others and earn the trust of others. They are compassionate, kind, yet demand respect and courtesy. A Good Man has high self-esteem and self-regard, yet isn't arrogant or selfish. He is independent, and comfortable with himself - while still being able to love and appreciate those in his life. This is the man most older women want in their life. One Good Man! They're okay, but 'm really not that into Good Men. (NOTE: It is not my intention to neither belittle, devalue, nor stereotype any one in this Introduction to the Nice Guy. My intention is to be brutally honest in explaining why many women shy away from the Nice Guy, and run crawling back to the Bad Boy.) And no, I'm not going to tell you to be a Good Man to become the Bastard that women love.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
The Five Types of Nice Guys
The Five Types of Nice Guys and why women leave them 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. The Klingon The Porcelain Lover The Classic Nice Guy The 'Brother' Image The Yes Man

Which type are you?

1. The Klingon
Calling All Klingons!

The smotherer! You are dependent, needy. Your clinginess is


suffocating. Caring and concern is great, but some of you men take it to the extreme! You demand to know where she is going, who she is going with, what time she will be back ... and then you call every minute just to make sure she is 'okay'. You hang around her constantly, virtually sucking the life out of her. You try to control her every move, even going so far as to follow her into the bathroom, or wait outside the bathroom door for her. You mistakenly think that to keep someone in love with you that you must have complete control over them (perhaps you mistakenly believe they might get wise and leave you, should they have a brain or a thought of their own.) Not only do you not have any sense of independency, you do not have a trusting bone in your body. Sadly, you cannot see this! You misconstrue your constant devotion and attention as a show of love and caring, and you try to dominate her every breath. Unfortunately, you can't go anywhere without her, and vice versa. You need her to take care of you and you cling to her like a drowning man may

cling to a life-preserver. What you don't see is that you are smothering her flame, slowly - but surely - extinguishing her fire. She is feeling overburdened, overshadowed, not trusted, and desperate to break free from your chains of love. Although she may have started out glorifying in your doting and attention, your hopeless clinginess has changed that glorification into contempt and stifling suppression. Learn to love and respect yourself so you won't have to look for external validation from your partner. Make yourself happy; bring your own sun up in the morning. Make your mate a partner, not a lifeline. "Everything changed when he slipped that little, golden handcuff on my finger."

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
The Five Types of Nice Guys 2. The Porcelain Lover
"Take Me NOW!"

Are you prudish, frigid, non-sexual, and unexciting - a bad lover? Or


do you view the woman in bed with you as some kind of madonna, too virtuous for sex? Hey, Nice Guys, wake up! Your woman wants you to BLOW HER MIND! She not only wants to be fondled, kissed, and caressed - she wants you to be so INFLAMED with desire for her that you take her as if she were the HOTTEST woman in the world and you just can't control your undying lust for her. Devour her with passion. Moan in ecstasy... but only in ecstasy for her. Don't just say, "mmmm, that feels good" .. say "GAWD, (place her name here) ...MMMmmmmMmm - YOU JUST FEEL SO DAMNED GOOD, WOMAN!" Often times a Nice Guy makes a mistake in the bedroom in one of three ways. He over worries about his performance, making the intimate act of sex appear to be plastic, artificial, mechanical, and non-intimate; he treats the woman as if she were a Holy Madonna/VirginMary, too virtuous for the sex act; or he uses the woman simply as a sperm receptacle. To put it boldly, one might say that he is either the Don Juan Robot, a porcelain lover, or he is 'masturbating inside her vagina'. However, contrasting this Nice Guy sexual behavior may be the Bad Boya lover who is HOT for HER. He displays a lust for her that is incomparable to that of her Nice Guy's, and he gives her the impression of having an insatiable, unquenchable thirst for her. He appears to not be able to get enough of this desirous and delicious woman and this makes her feel very sexy and wanted and desired and SATISFIED! He is a skilled lover, and has mastered the secret to making a woman feel satisfied. His skill?...AGAIN, making her feel like she is the most delicious woman he has ever had. Enthusiasm. FOR HER!

Different Needs
ALL men and women differ on their sexual needs. Some men and women just need variety in their sex lives, regardless of the quality or quantity of sex they get with their mates. Some men and women tend to want more tenderness, cuddling, affection, and nonsexual hugs, whereas others tend to just take care of the job at hand...it's all about what's under the sheets. Now, it's a very common and often thought belief that women need more affection, hugs, cuddling, and romance in order to enjoy sex. But not all women are like this. In fact, that isn't what's going to get the majority of women off at all! (Remember, we're revealing women's secrets here!) I, for one (I'm a woman, too!) do not like a lot of 'kissy-kissy' stuff in the sack. I get plenty of my man's affection and love elsewhere in my life, and when I'm in bed with him to have sex, I want SEX! I don't want to cuddle, and coo, and hug, and talk about how beautiful I am :)...I just want to get down to business (yes, pun intended)! Yet, on the other side of that coin, when I'm in bed with him to Make Love, I want to Make soft, tender Love. See, every sexual connection cannot be a preplanned performance, or specifically this or that. Basically we cannot stereotype women as needing it this way more or that way less, because not all women are the same, and not all moods are the same! Sometimes a Nice Guy can treat his woman with too much affection in bed. Sometimes he can treat her like she is a fragile porcelain goddess that is going to shatter if handled too roughly. But consider this...maybe, just maybe, she gets off on a man's bold rough maleness as much as you get off on her soft femaleness. Maybe she wants to feel the masculine coarseness of a man's hot desire for her, as much as you want to feel her velvety feminine softness hungry for and lusting after you. Maybe she isn't comfortable with being made soft, gentle love to...maybe that's too effeminate for her (like being in bed with another woman)...maybe she wants you to take over her body and ravish her because she is just so damned sexy you have to have her now! Get my point? She wants to feel sexy, desirable, hot, and ravishable.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
The Five Types of Nice Guys 2. The Porcelain Lover, continued:
No matter what type of variation, the second best thing to drive a woman wild in bed is to give her tons and tons of anticipation. Think of sex as a football game...the thing that you enjoy most about watching football is not the actual scoring but the anticipation of what the next move will be. Sex to a woman can be thrilling if she feels the thrill of anticipating his next move. What's he going to do next? Where is he leading? Remember, just like in football...you don't want to see the same game play repeated over and over again!

The Madonna Syndrome Oh No, Not With My Woman! I Just Won't Do That To My Woman!
Sometimes a man has a 'Madonna Syndrome'. He believes there are two types of women. The Good Woman and the Bad Girl. The Untouchable, Unspoilable Madonna, and the Sexually Receptive Whore. His woman is the Good Woman. She is Sacred, the Mother of his Children. She needs to be treated with respect and gentleness. She is not to be whored or cheapened. Then there is the Bad Girl. She is there purely to satisfy his acute sexual lusts and needs. Men with the Madonna Syndrome only feel free to have erotic, passionate, lustful sex with the Bad Girl, because, after all, that is what she is for, but yet they cannot feel so free with their own women, the Good Woman. They feel the need to protect her virtue and goodness, and they have to deal with strong fears of exploiting her, only getting involved sexually if she indicates interest. Nice Guys are notorious for having the Madonna Syndrome, and often use prostitutes to take care of their more erotic sexual needs, mistakenly thinking that they are protectingand not 'tarnishing' or 'degrading'their good and virtuous women that way. However, it is easy to become the sexual partner your woman needs!

Women's sexual needs differ from men's. For a woman reaching an orgasm can be a very frustrating event. Let's assume (just for the sake of making my point here) that you have sex every night of the week. And now, also, let's assume that you have a calendar hanging on your bedroom wall right above your bed. For each day you reached an orgasm you reached up and put a big, red 'X' on the calendar, and for each day she reached one she placed a big, red 'O' on the calendar. At the end of one month, this is what the typical calendar hanging on the bedroom wall would look like ...

....and I'm being generous in giving her that one orgasm and you lacking in eleven! Most young, healthy men reach an orgasm every single time they engage in sex. Yet there are some women who have never had an orgasm at all! They have been married years, have gone through hundreds of messy, uncomfortable menstrual cycles, and suffered through numerous disfiguring pregnancies and painful childbirths...and yet still have not had the pleasure of even one orgasm! And I'm not talking about the rare one woman in a million; I'm talking about many, many women. More women than not. Women you see every day. Women next to you in the checkout line. Your mother, your sister, the gal next door. The lady who works at your favorite restaurant, your boss, your coworker, your wife. See these women don't tell anybody. They don't talk about it with their friends. They don't discuss it with their sisters. They don't walk around with big signs on them that say "Nonorgasmic". They especially don't tell their mates because they don't want to hurt the man they love and make him feel self-conscious. I mean why should she ruin his sex life just because she's non-orgasmic? They are great at hiding sexual frustration and even better at faking orgasm. In fact, they are so good at faking it, that even their husbands of fifty years have never had a clue. These women think there is something wrong with them! Now, tell me guys, truthfullylook at the above calendar... how would you feel if the 'O' represented your monthly orgasm rate? You would think that this calendar would explain why they say women need more foreplay. But, I'm here to tell you that what they say is wrong.

Women don't need more foreplaythey just need more 'direct clitoral stimulation'.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
The Five Types of Nice Guys 2. The Porcelain Lover, continued:
Aside from the variation and anticipation methods already mentioned here, there are two more secrets that her Bad Boy lover knows, that you do not...

Secret Number One is: 'Listen to Her'.


Communication is crucial to a satisfying sex life. If she is uncomfortable telling you what she wants out loudas almost ALL women areask her to put it in writing. Ask her to write down to you what her needs are; what her desires are; what pleases her; and what doesn't please her; what her fantasies are, if she would ever like to live them out, and, if so, how does she envision doing this? Make a questionnaire of everything you want to know about her private needs, what she does and doesn't like about sex with you, etc, and have her answer the questionnaire, in private, at her own pace.

Secret Number Two is: 'Enthusiasm'.


The second secret to satisfying a woman is probably the most valuable secret you will ever learn. Certainly, it has been my most valuable sexual lesson. Enthusiasm for your matenot enthusiasm for the sex act, itself, but for the sex act with her. PULL. P.U.L.L. Pure Uncontrollable Lustful Longing for her. Pure lust for that awesome sexual being you are about to conquer and devour. If you are not totally into your mate... if you are not showing her just how desirable she is... if you are not enthusiastic to the point where she doesn't feel like the goddess of all your wet dreams... if you are not displaying extreme and overt want and desire for beautiful herher feel, her smell, her taste... then she is not going to be sexually fulfilled. Bottom line. Your woman wants you to BLOW HER MIND with your lust for her! She not only wants to be fondled, kissed, and caressedshe wants you to be so INFLAMED with desire for her that you take her as if she were the HOTTEST woman in the world and you just can't control your undying lust for her. Devour her with passion. Moan

in ecstasy... but only in ecstasy for her. Use her name! Don't say, "mmmm, that feels good" .. say "GAWD, (place her name here) ...MMMmmmmMmmYOU JUST FEEL SO DAMNED GOOD, WOMAN!" So the underlying factor here is that sex can be great no matter how it's performed, hot and ravenous, or soft and tender, as long as you have that one valuable factor that's needed for the greatest sex ever - the human factor. An escaped 'caveman moan' from your manly lips in delight of her is a huge turn-on to a woman. And it's easy to remember to display uncontrollable caveman lust for your partner... just get back in touch with your male DNA, and this should come very naturally! You can read a hundred sex manuals, have slept with a thousand women, and still suck in bed because you lacked showing extreme desire and lust for the one you were with, and not just for the act of sex itself.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
The Five Types of Nice Guys 3. The Classic Nice Guy
Oh, You Hurt Me So Good!

Are you a nice guy? Did the woman of your dreams ignore you and
head straight for a Bad Boy? If so, you must think she is a fool who likes abuse, right? WRONG! The lure of the Bad Boy is that he keeps just enough rope visible to keep his woman hanging on to the 'hope' that maybe she can catch him and tame him - and, oh what a thrill that would be to her, to be the one who could finally tame the Bad Boy! What she is not aware of is that she is addicted to the Bad Boy in much the same way as a gambler becomes addicted to gambling ... they are addicted to the thrill one feels when they know it is possible to win the big one, to feel victory - to hit the jackpot! To change him into the Nice Guy that she thinks she wants. (Incidentally, if she actually could do this she would drop him like a lead balloon over the side of a cliff. Swift, fast, and hard!) In every relationship there needs to be one partner who emits a 'female' energy and one who emits a 'male' energy. Whether the relationship be that of woman/man, man/man, or woman/woman, there still needs to be a clear identity of who carries the male energy and who carries the female energy. Male energy is assertive; active; aggressive; defiant; nonconforming; and take-charge. Female energy is more passive, subdued, and laid-back. Male energy is loud. Female energy is quiet. Male energy leads. Female energy follows. It really doesn't matter who carries which energy - as long as there is one of each. In some relationships the energy is shifted back and forth, each partner taking turns. Basically, though, most women carry the female energy, and most men carry the male energy. However, if you take your classic 'Nice Guy' the question comes up as to who, exactly, carries the female energy? Nice Guys don't often come off

as an assertive, aggressive, take-charge type of guy! They have no 'unique' identity, their gentleness often 'appears' to be meekness, and they usually give their women the impression that they have 'no life' outside of her and the relationship. This type of energy is not very stimulating to a woman full of feminine energy! The Nice Guy becomes the boring, predictable, and codependent guy. Nice Guys are more passive and tend to follow more than lead. This makes the woman uncomfortable and ill at ease with her femininity. He comes off as a 'pushover' - not a very masculine trait to a woman! Now, along comes the 'Bad Boy' and he is assertive, exciting, aggressive, pushy, aloof, unbending, challenging, inciting, and passionate. Although the Bad Boy is selfish and doesn't care about anyone but himself, the Nice Guy is usually left brokenhearted in his wake. The Jerk Appeal has, once again, won out over the Nice Guy. The woman stays with the jerk much like an addict will stay on drugs. It isn't that the drugs treat the addict good, or even that the drugs care at all about the addict. In fact, more accurately - just like the Bad Boy - the drugs are harmful to the addict and the addict is fully aware of this. It's the intense craving for the drug that keeps the addict addicted - not the drug itself! And it's the intense longing to 'win over' the heart of and 'fix' the Bad Boy that keeps the Jerk Appeal alive. To reiterate, woman are basically rescuers at heart, even more so than men...give any woman a lost cause, or an issue, and she will go out of her way to 'save' it or 'solve' it. Most women stay with the Bad Boy because they are addicted to the chance that they may be the one who can 'save' him, 'change' him, or 'fix' him. He becomes a challenge, and challenges are thrilling. He keeps that carrot dangling in front of her nose, just enough to keep her thinking 'there is a chance, there is a chance - I know I can, I know I can'. She can save him! She just knows it! Imagine the excitement coursing through her veins at this prospect? She would be bored to death with him if he had come a ready-made gentleman, already saddle-broken and house-trained.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
The Five Types of Nice Guys 3. The Classic Nice Guy, continued:
Even when a Bad Boy becomes insensitive, inattentive, and abusive, many women suffering from low self-esteem will stay with him. They truly believe that they will be the 'one' exception in the Bad Boy's life that will change him for the good. These women don't want you to tell them that being with the Bad Boy is wrong, they want your friggin' approval - they want you to tell them they are doing the right thing, and they won't listen to anything else. They will abandon their family, their friends, and their loved ones in pursuit of those who will give them approval and not tell them they are the fools that they really are. They may sometimes (in one of their more abused moments) sincerely ask for advice or seek their friends' help, but then they ignore it. They still are seeking only approval to stay in the toxic relationship, even when requesting advice. What's the hook? The Bad Boy 'modus operandi' goes something like this: 1. He operates his 'get-chicks-quick' method upon her (some GCQ pointers later on) 2. He treats her good and with respect, makes her feel like she is 'special' 3. He is demonstrative with his affections. He appears to 'care' about her deeply 4. He is romantic, wooing her and wowing her with his savior-faire 5. He beds her (by the way, sex represents love and commitment to many a woman) 6. He falls asleep, spent and satisfied 7. Some time later he acts like he doesn't even recognize her when they run in to each other again, or 8. He lets her hang around him but he becomes abusive. He continues this way until he (again) needs an ego-fix, or a place to deposit his sexual fluids, then he... 9. ....acts like he cares about her, may even express remorse for the

poor way he has treated her 10. He takes her to bed and deposits his sexual fluids So, really, what's the hook? The hook is that during the Bad Boy's 'needy' time he really does treat her well, thus giving her the impression that he is 'coming around'. She only needs to hang on a little longer! The excitement of possibly being the one to tame this boy gets her heart pumping wildly. She is addicted to the thrill of the Bad Boy, and, try as you might, you will never convince her to leave him. Unfortunately, it's the women who are in relationships with Nice Guys that are at an even greater risk for falling for the Bad Boy. Her Nice Guy is too available; too eager to please; too yielding; too easy; too accommodating. She is in a boring, mundane, uneventful relationship, with an uninteresting, predictable guy - a relationship where his apparent lack of masculine energy stifles her feminine energy, and makes her feel like he is just a shadow of her. The more 'lackluster' her life has been in the past, or in her current situation, the more likely she will fall fast and hard for the Bad Boy. Women can become addicted to Bad Boys, and will consistently seek them out over all other types of men. Most Nice Guys who get dumped for Bad Boys think that women just want to be abused. Not so! They just want to feel alive! At one point there may have been a spark with the Nice Guy, but eventually it died. Her interest level dropped as his identity became passive, emitting a feminine energy. Along with her interest level, her passion level also dies. She is stifled, subdued - and bored to death! The Nice Guy stopped being a challenge; he became too predictable, too open; and too easy to 'change'. If the Nice Guy wants to compete with the Bad Boy he needs to become a little less available; more inflexible (about 65%); resistant to change; employ some 'tension'; be a little more mysterious or intriguing; take NO CRAP; and be a lot more of a challenge.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
The Five Types of Nice Guys 4. The 'Brother' Image
"I Love You - Like A Brother..."

She loses interest in you, or falls out of love with you.


She states that she just doesn't feel that 'romantic' kind of love towards you anymore. Maybe she complains that you have grown non-responsive, apathetic, or disrespectful. Maybe she isn't into what many of you men in a committed relationship fall prey to after the first few months - the 'easychairs-that-fart' syndrome. For crissake, men, show some life! There is an unfortunate truth that many men and women don't want to admit, even to themselves - it is that they can never be stimulated enough. Turmoil excites us. Adrenaline-rushes energize us. Passion and intrigue ignite fires in us. The boredom of a mundane relationship is very stifling. The beginning of a romance is very stimulating and exciting for both the man and the woman. The woman is stimulated and impassioned by the intensity of which the man pursues her. The man, likewise, is aroused and invigorated by the 'hunt'. He is the hunter, she the prey. She glorifies in 'outsmarting' the hunter, and he basks in bagging his prey. Yes, eventually the hunt is over, he has won the chase, and she has lost her heart. What happens then is an amazing thing. This powerful hunter that would stop at nothing to catch his woman now becomes an 'easy-chair-thatfarts'. He stops pursuing her. He stops invigorating her. He stops making her feel excited and alive, and he turns the entire work of the relationship over to her. He has finished the hunt, and bagged his 'prey'. It is now up to

her to clean it and serve it for dinner, while he settles down to watch the football game. This is boring to her. The stimulus is gone. The relationship becomes her sole responsibility. She feels like she is courting herself, while he slips off into la-la land. He stops pursuing her. He ceases to boost her ego. He becomes almost apathetic to the relationship. Boring! There is a book out called "The Rules". It teaches women how to catch a man by playing 'hard to get' games. Unfortunately, the book does work! Not only do the tactics in the book work, it manages to keep both the man and the woman in that exciting, whirlwind state usually only felt at the beginning stages of love. Although many women and men have complained about the tactics in the book, the plain truth is...these tactics do work. That is not to say that women should play hard to get, or manipulate and use men in any way, but men need to get a clue when it comes to making their women happy. Women want to be cherished and adored, yes... but they also want to 'fix' and 'change' a not-so-perfect man. They want to be deeply desired and sought after by the man of their dreams, yet not have him be too perfect. They want excitement. They want to be a challenge and to be challenged, too - it boosts their egos - as well as that of their men's.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
The Five Types of Nice Guys 4. The 'Brother' Image, continued:
How to be a Bastard. The 'Start' to an Unveiling
Men like to pursue (hunt), and so 'The Rules' are all about women 'playing hard to get' to keep the man's attention and attraction. And because they play upon man's natural instincts to allure (bait) and charm (trap) the woman in order to procreate, the rules work absolutely great at capturing and holding the man's attention. It keeps him basking in his basic maleprimeval instincts, making him feel at his most complete. Embracing his manhood so infinitely is a vital spark in keeping him attracted and attached to the woman. If the woman were not to run from him, he simply would have nothing to do with her. He would be more selective about who mothered his children and therefore he would not be interested in this woman. A woman who was such easy prey would surely make a poor choice as a mother - and in the gene pool - for his precious offspring. If the woman were to run from him, and then finally give into his charm, he would procreate with her - and then leave her to go spread his seed on to another. This is why 'The Rules' teaches a woman to keep the man in a constant state of pursual. To keep him hopelessly attracted and attached to her, and no one else. Well, where there is the instinct for the man to hunt, there is also the primordial instinct for the women to 'nest'. Now, in order for the woman to nest she must make 'perfect' her chosen mate, because a mate that isn't perfect wouldn't make a very good or reliable father and provider. So, when the woman meets a man her subconscious female-instincts immediately jump into the active role of 'improver' and 'fixer'. This is where she shifts the attention from herself to him. When in the pursuing stage, the hunter is actively attached and attracted to his 'prey', the woman, and all his focus is on her, not himself. And when in the 'nesting stage' the

woman is solely focused on the man and not herself, thus keeping her hopelessly attached and attracted to him. It is now her that is actively attached and attracted to him as she tries to perfect him for his new roles of nest father and provider. If there were to be a 'rules' book written for men, it would tell men to play the game of flaws, imperfections, and issues. Romance is good for the hunted, yes, because it keeps her focused on believing this is the man for which she wants to nest with, but it's his imperfections and unwillingness to change his evil ways that keeps her hopelessly attached and attracted to him. Sounds ironic, I know! But true.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
The Five Types of Nice Guys 4. The 'Brother' Image, continued:
How to be a Bastard. The 'Start' to an Unveiling, cont.
If he were to be a perfect, dutiful, domestic-ready man, she simply would have had nothing to do with him. She would be more selective about who fathered her children and therefore she would not be interested in this man. A man who was so 'soft' and easy would surely make a poor choice as a protector of the nest - and in the gene pool - for her precious offspring. If the man were to come already perfectly suited and ready for tranquil domestic life and domiciliary care she would have no interest in him. She needs a man that is strong enough to protect the nest, fight off enemies, hunt for food, and produce strong offspring - and a gentle, kind, domesticated man is not likely to be able to do that (or so she feels). Likewise, if the man were to give into her pleas to change, and become the perfect man - she would lose her respect in him, as well ... no 'real man' of strength and leadership would ever let a woman have power over him! (And, whether consciously or subconsciously, she really doesn't want to have to be the stronger, more dominating partner.) This is why if he remains 'resistant' to her efforts to change him he will keep the woman in a constant state of interest and pursuit. It keeps her hopelessly attracted and attached to him, and no one else.

The WOMAN.
"Why don't you change?" ... "Why must you behave like this?" ... "Why don't you do that?" ... "Can't you ever stop doing this!" ... "Why must you always be that?" ... "Why don't you wear your hair like this." ... "You're not wearing that, are you?" ... "You drink too much, why don't you stop drinking." ... "Why can't you find a better job?" ... "How come you never do this?"

... "You need to eat healthier foods." ... "I want you to be more like that!" ... "If you won't do that for me you are selfish!" ... "A real man wouldn't do this thing that you do." ... "You are not the man I want to marry; you need to be more like so-andso..." And because of his resistance to her pleas and efforts to try and change, improve, or 'fix' him it plays upon woman's natural instincts to nest, and this works absolutely great at capturing and holding the woman's attention. (I know this as a fact because I am a woman!) It keeps her basking in her basic female-primeval instincts, making her feel at her most complete. Embracing her femalehood so infinitely is a vital spark in keeping her attracted and attached to the man. He becomes her cause.

The Truth About Women


Ironically, women try to change their man, but then they will complain if he 'changes' and isn't the same man she fell in love with! See, we become bored and dislike them should they change for us! We also lose some respect for them, too (he must not have any backbone to be so sappy as to give in to us!). Now we women mean well, we really do. After all, it is our female instinct to improve and create. We raise children from tiny, helpless infants and turn them into fully functional adults. We take raw meat and make a gourmet meal. We take a basic shell of a structure and turn it into a warm and inviting home-sweet-home. Problem is we well-meaning women just don't know where to draw the line! We thrive on trying to improve everybody and everything we hold dear - on trying to create perfect works of art from ordinary people. We are like demonically possessed Martha Stewarts of the world. No one is spared our obsession to improve and create! Not our sisters, our best friends, our co-workers, our adult children, our employees, our neighbors, our boss, our men. We don't mean any harm, but - OH THE HARM WE DO! What do women want to accomplish from this constant nagging and complaining? Why do we really do this? Well, as explained before, a man thinks that his role in the relationship is to be the hunter. He initiates the 'hunt', starts the 'chase', and finishes with the 'kill'. After he has bagged his 'kill', he is finished. He believes his job is done. Why? Because he simply doesn't know what to do after the hunt, chase, and kill part is over! It's not that he doesn't mean well, he does. But he's not meant to be

domestic. He's instinctively meant to go off and procreate with another woman. He is just doing what comes naturally to him - he is letting the woman take over with the domestic side of the relationship. Now his charm, and dashing Casanova like demeanor is over and she is left with no romance and no excitement1. His side was the courtship - during which she sat by and let him do all the work. Now the roles have reversed ... but she doesn't like it at all! She still wants him to be in active participation in the relationship. She wants him to be domestic, which doesn't come naturally to him. While he's getting all comfy and cozy in the La-Z-Boy she's slowly simmering. He is not a bad man, he is a good man. In fact, he is damned near 'perfect'. A really, really 'Nice Guy'. Unfortunately, though, if a woman finds the 'perfect man' and there is nothing about him that needs to be 'fixed' or 'changed', she quickly loses interest in him. He not only stopped being a romeo, but he basically has no issues to peak and maintain her interest, and is eager to do anything she may ask of him - which leaves her with a man that doesn't excite her in the least bit. He becomes 'like a brother' to her! "We find the unstable man exciting, the unreliable man challenging, the unpredictable man romantic, the immature man charming, the moody man mysterious. The angry man needs our understanding. The unhappy man needs our comforting. The inadequate man needs our encouragement, and the cold man needs our warmth. But we cannot "fix" a man who is fine just as he is." ~Robin Norwood~

Are you starting to get the picture?


1. For great advice on romance check out 'Hello, Casanova'.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
The Five Types of Nice Guys 4. The 'Brother' Image, continued:
No Invigorating Challenge
That's why all the experts are wrong. Relating your feelings or being romantic just doesn't cut it. Being a Romeo is not enough to keep a woman attached and attracted to you. In fact, sometimes it can chase a woman away! Women want to feel the same excitement that you felt when you were courting them. They want to feel invigorated, alive, have a cause - and you want to keep them completely focused on you. When a man surrenders too much to his woman, when he becomes too 'compliant' and too giving the woman stops feeling the thrill of be 'being in love' with him and may seek to be stimulated outside of the relationship, or to leave the relationship altogether. She may even end the relationship, telling him she loves him 'as a friend, or, worse yet, like a brother'. (Translation: You bore me to death!) What the woman really wants is to be vigilant and kept on her toes. And just like you men - she wants a little challenge, too. Challenges can be very exciting and exhilarating! Hence, the popularity of the 'bad boy'. The Bad Boy represents challenge because he 'resists' her efforts to 'fix' him. He is hard to tame, hard to win over. Hard to 'domesticate'. He isn't boring and dull. He isn't that drab man who sits in front of the boob tube day in and day out. He's out doing things. He isn't available. He gives her just enough rope to keep her hanging on - begging for more - causing her to be in a state of constant energy. She feels alive! So, unfortunately, if a woman left you (claiming to love you like a 'brother'), and you did nothing wrong, she might possibly have found somebody who stimulates her more (even a 'Bad Boy') ... simply because you didn't keep her on her toes. Without that her relationship with you may have begun to seem mundane and stale. You gave her no cause to work at... no crusade to launch... no goal left to attain... nothing left to yearn or dream for. And when we lose the ability to

dream, we lose reason to go on. A Bad Boy would give her reason. And a 'resistant' man would give her reason. The Ego Boost Ah, that thrilling boost a man's ego receives when he is winning over his prey! But how thrilling would it be if the prey walked right up to him, tail between its legs, and said "Go ahead, shoot me; I'm not going to run or fight"? We all know how exciting the beginning of a new crush is. The adrenalinerush is caused by our excitement at the prospect of new chase and the idea of a possible victory. The hunt is fun, invigorating, exciting, thrilling!

Resistance - The Irresistible Quality


Yes, we need to remember that while women play just a little 'hard to get' every now and then, men need to play a little 'hard to give in'. He needs to remember to remain stubbornly set on his ways; non-compliant; nonperfect; somewhat secretive (or mysterious); and sometimes just out of arm's reach in order to keep his relationships at a level that is exciting and fresh and alive. But, unfortunately, we get lax. We become that dreaded relationship killer that is called 'comfortable'. We get relaxed and take things for granted. We stop being a challenge. We forget about igniting passion. We become dull, mundane, inanimate, and boring. We create a Comfort Zone that is stifling and claustrophobic. And we stop 'resisting' and give in sometimes simply because it's easier, but most of the time it is because we have been taught to do this. Found Online: "Every primal neurotic is constantly reconfiguring his or her own defense system to accommodate the new reality created by their primals." When a woman tries to change a man, or fix a man, and he resists, it keeps her attached and attracted to him in an ironic way. He becomes more of a challenge and she becomes consumed with her 'cause' to fix him, or change him. The more resistance he displays, the more attached she becomes to him. She thinks about him day and night. And the more she thinks about him, the more she places value on him and makes him her higher power.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
The Five Types of Nice Guys 4. The 'Brother' Image, continued:
Your mundane, COMFORT ZONE has become her prison
Additionally; a little hot pursuit on your side is also invigorating and esteem lifting for her. Unexpected flowers, surprise romantic outings, or just telling her that she is the hottest woman you have ever met, can awaken in her a deeply passionate and exciting lust for you, peaking her interest level tremendously. Every women wants to know that her man is excited by her, that she is sexy, that she also sexually stimulating, that he is HOT for her. That she is wonderful. That she is adored. That she is appreciated. That she looks great! Just don't lay it on too thick or too often! Eventually, less exciting factors become the basis for all relationships together. The only glue that may hold you together is too many years invested in the relationship, children, religious convictions, or the expectations of others (staying together because of the kids, parents, public, church, etc.). She has begun to feel like she has fallen out of love with you, or that she doesn't love you in a romantic way. And, most likely, this is true. How could she be in a deep, passionate and invigorating love with you? Her brother? That would be like being romantically attracted to a tree. There is no 'you'. "She had no reason to cheat. I gave her everything she wanted, and did everything she asked." That's right. There is no YOU. You have given in to her every wish and whim. You have changed and altered and perfected yourself to become a robotic image of the storybook 'perfect' man. You are complaisant, easygoing, and obedient. You have become a comfortable piece of furniture...not a stimulating roller coaster ride! She has simply fallen out of 'passionate love' with you. Perhaps she found another man and now you feel like she was just a 'cheating whore'. Unfortunately, you were likely the cause of her lowered

interest level in you, not the other man. He just re-aroused in her the passion and excitement that she gave you plenty of opportunity to do on your own. When you stopped being a challenge you lost a lot of your sexual appeal. When you gave into her every whim you became her doormat. That's not to say that you should be unavailable and play hard to get one minute, and then chase her like she has the key to your pacemaker the next! But sometimes, waving that little carrot in front of a rabbit's nose keeps it excited and all that more appreciative - and wanting - of the carrot. Sometimes not revealing everything about yourself keeps you a little mysterious and intriguing, and peaks interest. And sometimes, making someone feel that they are just so damned desirable that they might just be the one to finally tame you, keeps them walking around on cloud nine hopelessly hooked to you.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
The Five Types of Nice Guys 4. The 'Brother' Image, continued:
Words Associated With The 'Nice Guys'
Here are some words associated with 'Nice Guys'. I would wager to guess that most would not consider these as very 'sexy' or 'manly' traits.
A abject, accommodating, acquiescent, adaptable, adapted, adjustable, adulatory, agreeable, airy, alike, all around, alterable, altruistic, amenable, amiable, animated, applicable, appropriate B benevolent, benign, biddable, bighearted, binding, bootlicking, bouncy, bowing, boy scout, breezy, buoyant C can do, changeable, charitable, childlike, clement, comparable, compassionate, complacent, complaisant, compliant, conciliatory, condoning, conformable, conscientious, consistent, convertible, cordial, cowering, crawling, cringing, D deceivable, deferential, deludable, devoted, discretionary, docile, docious, ductile, dupable, duteous, dutiful E easily influenced, easily pleased, easy, easygoing, ebullient, effervescent, eventempered, excusing, expansive, exploitable

F faithful, fawning, filial, flattering, fleeceable, flexible, fitted, fitting, forbearing, forgiving, friendly G gay, generous, gentle, good-hearted, good-humored, good-natured, goodtempered, governable, gracious, gullible H hanging loose, harmonious, helpful, high-spirited, humble, humoring I in agreement, incumbent on, indulgent, ingratiating K kind, kindly, kowtowing L laid back, lax, lenient, liberal, light, like, lively M malleable, manageable, marshmallow, matched, mealy-mouthed, meek, mellow, merciful, mild, modelable, moderate, modifiable, mollycoddling N naive, nice, O obedient, obligatory, obliging, obsequious, open, orderly P pampering, parasitic, pardoning, plastic, pliable, pliant, polite, proper, prostrate, punctilious, putty Q

quiet R recuperative, regardful, regular, reliable, resembling, resigned, resilient, respectful, responsive, reverential, S scraping, servile, similar, slavish, sniveling, soaring, softie, spineless, spirited, spoiling, sprightly, soft, solicitous, submissive, subservient, suitable, suited, supple, susceptible, switch hitting, sycophant, sycophantic, sympathetic T tame, teachable, temperate, tolerant, tractable, trusting U unburdensome, unified, unoppressive, unsuspicious, usable V variable, versatile, vivacious, volatile W warm-hearted, well-disposed, weak-kneed, well-regulated, willing Y yielding

Adjectives Associated With The Bad Boys


antagonistic, arrogant, authoritative, contrary, defiant, determined, difficult, disagreeable, discontented, disobedient, disrespectful, domineering, forthright, harsh, inappropriate, inflexible, intolerant, intractable, invariable, irresponsible, mismatched, nonconforming, obstinate, rigid, stern, strict, stubborn, uncooperative, unadaptable, unbending, undutiful, unfaithful, unruly, vicious

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
The Five Types of Nice Guys 5. The Yes Man
"whatever you say, Ma'am..."

Excuse my crude (and blunt) question, but *takes deep breath* here
goes... ....Do you define the meaning of your life by whatever piece of flesh you are doing this week? Are you totally unmasculine and unconfident? Are you a "YES MAN"? Who (or what) is a 'Yes Man'? He is a man who is too easy. Too agreeable. Too available! He creates no stimulating challenge, no thrill of the hunt, no resistance. He appears to have no mind of his own .. she has to tell him what to do, where to go, and what time to be there! She quickly loses respect for a man that can't take charge and 'lead'. She loses passion for a man that doesn't resist her efforts to 'change' him. She loses interest for a man that is so easily molded and shaped by her. Below is an excerpt taken from my earlier pages here, "Why Women Don't Date 'Nice Guys"

"These men have no life of their own. Although their intentions may be good, they quickly allow themselves to become absorbed by the women in their life, having no real identity of their own. This is unattractive, boring, and suffocating. Nice Guys appear meek because of this lack of leadership: women feel unsafe with this man. Her life lacks excitement and meaning. She feels burdened and pressured by his neediness. She feels as if she is the stronger

one - the more 'masculine' one. He doesn't make her feel like a 'woman'!" "These men are too eager to show affection. Too available. Who can appreciate that of which they didn't have to work for? (Yes Men) are easily used. Women quickly lose respect for a (Yes Man) because they are so 'exploited'. (Yes Men) truly think that they are making their girlfriends happy by sacrificing their own life, desires, wants, needs, opinions, and identities to that of their girlfriends. Yes, it's true, a woman may feel like no one will ever love her as much as the (Yes Man) does, but there is no thrill in just having...the thrill is in getting - in conquering - in winning over. The thrill of the chase, the desire to win his heart when he is so determined to not give it away, the impelling tension of being the one to 'conquer' and 'tame' the (Bad Boy) is intriguing to a woman it makes her feel 'alive'."

The thing that many men aren't aware of (and many women aren't even conscious of doing) is that almost all women give the men they date 'The Test'. What is 'The Test'? It is a test that women use to rate your 'manliness'. Sucks, huh? Yet the women still do it, and many of them (if not ALL of them) are not even aware that they are giving The Test! The Test is sort of like a game of "power play". As I have stated, most women will deny doing this - they are not even aware that they are doing this test - yet, indeed they are! The Test is a situation (usually created by the woman, but could just be created by a circumstance) to see who is going to 'control' and carry the 'power' in the relationship. Most women (either consciously or subconsciously) want someone that will stand up and take control. BE A MAN, NOT A DOORMAT. ... LEAD NOT FOLLOW. You may call it her instinctive search for a suitable Father to her Offspring. She wants a strong man that will make her feel safe, secure, protected, and still totally feminine and ladylike in the nest. She wants a man that has enough self-respect, dignity, and self-assurance to take charge and lead with confidence, authority and power. She wants YOU to be the man ... . this makes her feel more like a woman. Now, don't confuse manliness with selfish aggressiveness and apathy! I'm not saying that women want assholes! Women just want a man that is a man - because that is how she gets in touch with her feminine side... that is what makes her feel like a woman. And if you make her feel like a woman she will follow you to the ends of the Earth!

So what ways does she perform The Test? Many different ways, from conversations to actions to reactions to questions to suggestions. What she is looking for is resistance to her! A show of resistance indicates a real man to her. As an example:

The Test

Nice Guys Reaction (FAILED!)


Grabbing the car keys, he smiles and says, "OK!"

Correct Reaction (PASSED!)


Grabbing another beer, he belches out, "Fuck no! I'm watching the game." He yawns and says, "Gotta run."

She says, "Let's go to the mall."

She talks on and on about her Aunt Martha's gallstones At a restaurant, reading over the menu...

He listens intently, shaking his head in sympathy for the dear OLD woman He stares at her intensely, wondering what she is going to have so he knows how to order He listens intently to her going on and on and on about herself: He is displaying an avid interest in marrying her and raising a family

He stares at the waitress intensely, wondering if she's free after work

Their first meeting at a club...

He makes light chit chat, avoids 'deep conversation', and steals quick glances at her breasts: He is displaying an avid interest in having sex with her

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
The Five Types of Nice Guys 5. The Yes Man, continued:
Codependency and Love Addiction...
Codependency: A behavior or state of mind that prevents you from living an autonomous life due to a compulsion to take care of, control or please the people and situations around you. Relationship Addiction: A Relationship or Love addict is someone who is dependent, enmeshed and compulsively focused on another person. Anne Wilson Schaef is the author of the best-selling book, The Addictive Organization and Escape from Intimacy. She is a leading authority on codependency. Below you will find her define the skills people use to form addictive relationships Relationship guidelines for imbeciles who want to FAIL at relationships:

To be able to establish instant intimacy To be able to listen even when not interested or involved in what the other person is saying To be able consistently to lay aside your own needs for the sake of the relationship To know how to take care of the other person and quickly move in to meet his or her needs To know both how to foster dependency and how to attach to the other in a dependent way To know how to compromise personal needs, values, ethics or morality for the relationship (including family, children, and ones own work) To have the ability to quickly recognize a cosmic mate or a Special connection To be able instantly to share secrets and pour out your life story

To have an instant physical or sexual attraction To be able to fit the other person into romantic fantasies and/or exotic situations To be able to form a connection and not know how to be friends To establish an immediate intensity or high (being in love) and allow that high to interfere with daily life To feel as though the "relationship" has you in its grip, has taken over your life, and to be able to give yourself over to that feeling To have the skills (imagined) and desire to "save" the other person from the life he or she has constructed To be willing to use the other person to escape the life you have constructed for yourself To define everything in ones existence in terms of the relationship and make the relationship "central" to your life To be able to ignore other facets of both lives for the sake of the relationship To have the ability to "make others feel alive" (translation: To make others think about themselves only)" To be able to attract others to you, that is, to emphasize physical appearance, like dressing and fixing oneself up to attract others To be able to ignore aspects of the person you do not trust or like. To be able to ignore unshared values, hopes and fears and see the other only through the eyes of illusion To be able to accept blame and fault for anything that goes wrong in the relationship To be able to "hang in there" much past the point of sanity To have the ability to "enter into the others world completely" To know how to use the "skills" of communication to form immediate relationships, the skills being much more important than being fully present (real) to the other person To be able to use manipulation and impression management to try to be what the other wants in order to "hook" the other into the relationship To have the ability to attach yourself to people who like/ pursue you first To have the ability to use "honesty" as a con To have the ability to use your intuition to explain or "understand" the other To have developed the skills of seduction, flirtation and titillation to a fine art To have the skill to look intimately involved while keeping safely hidden behind your wall To have learned to interpret intensity as love and, therefore, to assume that when we feel intensely about someone what we are

feeling is love The ability to lose boundaries in the relationship To be able to suffer endlessly for the relationship To be able to gaze lovingly into the others eyes with a look resembling a dying calf in a mudhole

Although these may be the skills that you would think would lead to a successful relationship, they actually lead to a relationship where one party feels imprisoned and stifled and the other party feels a desperate need to latch on. Wow! And all these years we were calling them Nice Guys, when we should have been calling them Codependent/Relationship Addict Guys! I mean, seriously, what skills up there can you find that doesn't describe the Nice Guy? Any? Even one? However, many of these traits are evident in healthy relationships, so if you see yourself in just a few of the above traits please don't panic! But if you see yourself in many of these traits, it's time to do some serious selfevaluation! The point here is that many, many Nice Guys have a codependent personality. Codependency is extremely unattractive in a man, and most women will run, run, run just as fast as they can away from a man who is codependent. You will never see a codependent Bad Boy.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 1
Summing It All Up

Summing It All Up!


So here's what women say are some specific behaviors that are sure to turn them off: Fawning over us and acting like a lost puppy dog - remember we want a man who will protect us, not one we have to mother. Respect is a major component of a woman loving a man. We need to be able to respect you which means we need to see strength, decency, conviction and purpose in you. Not making the first move - no matter who asks who to go out on a date, most women still want the guy to make the first move beyond that point. Women like to feel that we are desirable, and also that you are able to take charge in an emergency and get the job done right. If you want us, let us know. Not letting us see your passions - we want a man who will bring out the inner passion in us and make us want him as much as he wants us. In other words, we want good sex and good sex requires your passion - for us. Not expressing your opinions - we know you have them and they will eventually come out and we really do like to know what we are getting into before things progress to far. Not being assertive - we want to know a man is capable of taking over a situation and keeping us safe. Assertiveness represents strength to us, and strength represents security. We need to see your assertive side your 'take charge' side - and these observations may be had just by you doing simple things like getting a better table at a restaurant, or catching the mouse in the pantry. Being too complacent, compliant, or trying to please us too much -

we feel a strong attraction to a man who needs to be 'fixed', or who resists our efforts to 'change' him. It gives us something to work for and that keeps us hooked and attracted to the man. Again, as Robin Norwood once summed it up so very well: "We find the unstable man exciting, the unreliable man challenging, the unpredictable man romantic, the immature man charming, the moody man mysterious. The angry man needs our understanding. The unhappy man needs our comforting. The inadequate man needs our encouragement, and the cold man needs our warmth. But we cannot "fix" a man who is fine just as he is." Bottom Line: The Mr. Nice Guy image doesn't let us see who you really are. It tells us that you aren't in touch with your manhood. It makes us lose respect for you when you are so willingly agreeable to, and transformable by, us. It scares us away and makes us feel that you wouldn't be able to 'save' us from the evil beast nor slay the dragon. We need to see who you really are - a man - because a woman wants a man who wants her, who turns her on, who is capable of protecting her, who can provide her and the children with a safe and comfortable 'cave', and who is a person she can respect and trust not to deliberately hurt her. In other words, she is looking for a strong and good friend with a benefits package.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 2
Nice Guys: You Either Have It or You Don't Conflict and Tension
"I love the smell of Napalm in the morning" -Apocalypse Now

Nice Guys = Smooth Sailing. How boring!


When you get too comfortable and too accommodating in a relationship the end result can sometimes be devastating. A comfortable and reliable place is not a fertile ground for improvement or advancement, nor excitement and passion. You simply 'settle'. While this may be a logical and secure place for you, 'settling' may not be a very exciting and constructive lifestyle to your woman. Nice Guys tend to be 'push overs' because they will do anything the woman tells them to. As I have explained over and over again - he shows no 'resistance' to her. Nice Guys are easily shaped, molded, formed, changed, and fixed. When this happens there is nothing left for the woman to do. She has now exhausted her attraction to the man, and will move on, or die of boredom. If she has just met him and he already came shaped, molded, formed, changed, and fixed there is no reason for her even to have an interest in him to begin with, other than to release her complaints about the Bad Boy that she is hopelessly attached to... ....oh, and on a side note as to why women complain about the Bad Boy to you, Mr. Nice Guy. It's because she's desperately hoping you can give her (being as you are a man, too) some clue as to how to 'reach through to him' to get him to 'change'. Often times a certain amount of 'conflict' and 'tension' can be very passion evoking and stimulating. But please don't confuse the word 'conflict' to mean knock-down, drag-out fights!

All conflict is made up of some sort of resistance. Picture 'conflict' as an erotic or romantic 'energy' or 'tension' heating up between two people, just below the surface and lurking in the background. All great romance novels and romance movies have this conflict or tension between the couple, for without it there would be no 'story'. Once this 'tension' or 'conflict' gets resolved the movie or novel ends, and the two lovebirds live happily ever after. Right? Wrong! Would you watch a movie or read a book about this couple after this conflict was resolved? Probably not. Why? Because it would be boring!!! Boring, boring, boring! See what I mean now? A certain amount of 'tension' is exciting in a relationship. Imagine how boring it would be to be married to a perfect woman. Now, this may sound good at first, but seriously think about it... She never does anything wrong. She never makes a mistake. She always does what you tell her to, and she never says no to you. She changes the things about her that you have requested her to. She never says the wrong thing, or behaves in an irritating manner. She never is a free-spirited, wild little filly that needs your sexy little taming. She never is 'out of control', or a little tipsy. She never cares what you do, because she never is untrusting. She never gets angry at the neighbor and glues their mailbox shut (just kidding). Anyway, she is perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. So what does that make her? Pretty damned boring, huh?! In fact, if you think about it all relationships with Bad Boys have 'conflict', 'resistance', and 'tension' in themit's what fuels them and keeps the woman so intensely attached to him.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 2
Nice Guys: You Either Have It or You Don't Conflict and Tension, cont.
"Some men just ask to be cheated on. I take into account the many men I have interviewed who have said that their wives (now exes) have cheated on them. the common denominator was that these men were all mild mannered, laid back, easy-going guys. Which makes me wonder about the old 'nice guys finish last' statement. Nice guys are maybe something we grow in to. But maybe not enough excitement for our young, spirited selves." -Found on the Internet When you think 'conflict' or 'tension' think along the lines of unyielding unavailability, mystery, and noncompliance. This, as stated, is what fuels relationships with the Bad Boys. This is the type of conflict and tension I want you to recreate in your relationship, not battles and wars! You, too, can be too perfect, too compliant, too nice, too boring! Not challenging, not mysterious, not captivating! Not romantic, not passionate, not enchanting, not Knightly! ... ....Too acquiescent, conforming, obedient, respectful, submissive, bent, eager, inclined, moldable, dependable, willing, agreeable.... ! REMEMBER:

"We find the unstable man exciting, the unreliable man challenging, the unpredictable man romantic, the immature man charming, the moody man mysterious. The angry man needs our understanding. The unhappy man needs our comforting. The inadequate man needs our encouragement, and the cold man needs our warmth. But we cannot "fix" a man who is fine just as he is." ~Robin Norwood~

In other words, give, but don't over give. Some women need to work at

gaining a man's love, in order to feel their own love for him. They need to feel the effort in order to appreciate the rewards. Some romantic tension keeps relationships alive. Think of the old movie, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir. Remember the tension that energized their relationship? His resistance to her efforts to change him? Her drawn to him as a result? The tension between them? Conflict, such as this, can be invigorating and exciting, don't you think? A little uncertainty keeps some women stimulated and interested. Don't let her take you for granted, don't be an open book, don't ask "how high" when she says "jump", don't do every little thing she wants you to do ... get it? By being nice, giving, agreeable, and 'obedient' you may think you are keeping the peace and making her happy, but what you are really doing is showing little self-respect, and losing her respect in you, as well!

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 3
The Bad Boy - What's the REAL Attraction? What are the 'Symptoms' of being a Nice Guy?
A loss of control over your repeated attempts to get a woman to love you; a preoccupation with the woman; and putting priorities and thoughts of the woman before those of yourself, family, and career - are just some of the signs of being a Nice Guy. Believing that if you can be the 'perfect man' that you should be rewarded by captivating an appreciative woman on your arm Additionally, this condition can be marked by an obsession with feeling inferior and / or trying to overcome these feelings by attempting to become the perfect mate; irrational thinking; defeatist rationalizations; fixations on the woman; self-reproach; and a continuation of this destructive behavior despite adverse consequences (not getting any *grins*) Uncannily, all your ex-girlfriend's gave you a copy of Robert Bly's Iron John!

Me and The Bad Boy


Let me say that I had spent many a year being attracted to the Bad Boys, the Jerks, the Players, the Schmucks, and the Assholes! If I only knew then what I know now, I would have saved myself from endless hours (days / weeks / months / years) of hell. If men back then had followed the course set out in this ebook I could have spared all those wasted moments of my life and could have by now achieved what I had wanted so bad back then. And what did I want sooooo bad back then? Commitment from a Real Man! But not just commitment, but everything that commitment stands for (or, at least, stood for to me) - the picket fence; the adoring, doting husband; the two cats in the yard; PTO meetings; family picnics;

chestnuts roasting on an open fire... (It all sounds so 'Norman Rockwellish', doesn't it?) But, I didn't know then what I know now ... so, what did I get instead? Endless hours of begging for attention, of jealousy, of insecurity, of feeling not 'good enough', or feeling unattractive and 'needy' and 'wanting'. Days and days trying to be the perfect woman, lover, mother, cook, housewife, girlfriend (get the picture?) - just to try and get the 'Bad Boy' to come around and become someone that could love me and dote on me like I was his Queen. But the Bad Boy could not - no, make that 'would' not - no, make that REFUSED TO change for me. I had been subjecting my entire existence (oh, to get those years back!) on worrying about him, and wondering about him, and wanting him, and trying to get him, and thinking about him, and - yadda, yadda, yadda! Endless hours of contemplating where 'I' went wrong, or how 'I' had failed, or what 'method' I could use next to try and get him to change. And during that time many Nice Guys came along... Nice Guys that could have and would have given me everything I wanted. But I rejected them, as I was 'addicted' to the Bad Boy'. Nice Guys didn't turn me on - not at all.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 3
The Bad Boy - What's the REAL Attraction?
The Bad Boy Addiction
THREE ESSENTIAL INGREDIENTS ARE NECESSARY FOR THE FORMING OF OUR BAD BOY ADDICTIONS 1. THE NEED FOR OUR HIGH (The Jackpot) 2. THE LURE OF THE 'HOOK' (The possibility of hitting the Jackpot) 3. OUR 'SO-CALLED' LOVE (The premise that the Jackpot is a desirable
thing)

THE NEED FOR OUR HIGH: The 'fix' or the 'high' one gets with a Bad Boy is the simple regaining of those euphoric first stage feelings one feels in the onset of a new relationship. (Remember, when a relationship is young (and new) the Bad Boy will pursued you armed with as much ammunition as an army of 100,000 Romeos!)

And how does the Bad Boy pursue you that is so different from the Nice Guy?

Bad Boy
lets her know he finds her very sexually attractive openly flirts with her and overtly appraises her body doesn't have time to, nor does he care to get to know her

Nice Guy
hopes she finds him attractive

is really nice, polite, respectful and a gentleman listens to her talk endlessly about her life, her exes, her job, her

shows off his hard body with sexy clothing uses short sentences, kewl slang, and macho words, has character in his voice style checks out other chicks to let her know she had better act fast idle chit chat, nothing serious, still checking out the other chicks in the room

dresses respectfully, as if going in for a job interview "the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain"

stares into her eyes, completely oblivious to his surroundings talks about his first grade teacher, thinking that by revealing himself and becoming an open book she will feel more 'intimately' connected to him offers to buy her the world on any night that is good for her

offers to buy her a drink, then jaunts off to chat with buddies or other chicks before making his rounds back to her to flirt some more doesn't waste his time on compliments because he knows that his intense sexual attraction to her is the best flattery around he knows he will have her, his confidence and the intensity of his self-assurance is powerfully evident

tells her she has lovely hair and a beautiful smile

his self-doubt and exaggerated unsurety is evident because he knows he's been shot down by woman so many times before

The feelings one feels about themselves in the beginning stages of a relationship with a Bad Boy are awesome! When a Real Man (or so you think he is) thinks you're the cat's meow you begin to have a higher selfregard. These elated feelings are brought on by the intensity of your new found mindset of being a Feminine Goddess. You feel so much like a woman, to have picked up such a man. You feel immensely flattered and good about yourself when a real man is so attracted to you, and you

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 3
The Bad Boy - What's the REAL Attraction?
These good feelings and improved sense of womanhood are intensely intoxicating, and soon we start to dream about him being the 'one'. You know the one... The Husband. The Father to Our Children. The Picket Fence Builder. The Man of our Dreams. And what happens then? Our 'nesting' instinct kicks right in. And so we set out to 'fix' him'. To better him. To change him. To 'ready' him for husbandhood and fatherhood. And we try to transform him into this 'man' of our dreams, to get him to make more of a commitment to us, and to fix his 'badness' and make him 'good'... ....HOWEVER, the Bad Boy isn't one for change and is fiercely resistant to our efforts, often times rejecting us or - because he truly is a jerk treating us bad just to prove his point. Now our positive psychological state is ripped away from us, leaving fear that we will not be able to change him. When we withdraw from the elation we felt at the beginning of the relationship we 'crash' - hard. Wondering even more where we went wrong and desperately seeking a way to regain those bewitching feelings, and turn him into the 'Dream Man' that we fantasized him to be. If their attraction made us feel feminine and desirable - then we surely will feel just the opposite about ourselves once their attraction to us has been revoked - and we can't allow that! So, we set off to regain this 'high' feeling. Like the cocaine addict, we will do just about anything to appease our need to reach this euphoric state again, to gain our future Picket Fence Builder's total surrender to us. So we try and try and try - every method in the book - to get them to surrender to us. In other words: We try to get them to abandon their resistance to us and resign to let us mold them into Nice Guys that will stop being men and become totally subservient to us. As a bonus to him, during all this time we are totally focused on this Man. He is the World. Our God. Our every thought is of him. We forget about ourselves and form strong attachments and hopes to him. When we put so much energy into something we totally stop viewing it as a simple or

small thing, but rather build it up into gigantic proportions in our heads. We have this 'cause' and it is consuming. Our cause? To change him... ....And, with the Bad Boy we will succeed - briefly - but just enough to give us hope that he is 'changeable'. But then we lose again. So, we get back up and try again because that little taste of success, that small little high we received, although barely enough to quench us, was exactly enough to remind us what the great big high will feel like when we finally do get him to give up being the Bad Boy (the 'Resister') and turn into the Nice Guy (the 'non-resister'). (Whom, incidentally, we only think we want.) And then, once again, we lose. He becomes 'Resistant'. And we focus even more on him, crying to our friends, and moaning to the Nice Guys. We forget about 'us', we forget about being princesses, we forget about everything having to do with us as we focus solely and obsessively on him. His 'Resistance' has enabled him to now have our complete attention, our entire attraction, and - most assuredly - our undying devotion and attachment to him. He becomes our Higher Power. He has the POWER, we have 'hope'. He has a life, we have 'hope'. He has his freedom, we have 'hope'. "Once you tame a bad boy, there's nothing bad about himhe becomes human. The really, really bad boys could never be scared straight, though." ~anon

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 3
The Bad Boy - What's the REAL Attraction?
THE LURE OF THE 'HOOK' The Bad Boy treats her bad, yet she keeps going back to him, time and time again, and whining to you, Mr. Nice Guy, about it. Again, what is it that keeps her so hooked to him? His 'Resistance'! The reason for her repeatedly staying with, or going back to, the Bad Boy is that she becomes addicted to the thrill of trying to win him over, of trying to change him, of trying to get him to do everything she tells him to. The Bad Boy keeps luring her in with the promise that she might be able to get him to change, and that keeps her hooked. That is the 'hook' that keeps women going back to the Bad Boy over and over again.. most women have fallen prey to this 'hook'. They find it hard to believe (or accept) that they will never, ever change the Bad Boy. They are in deep denial, refusing to hear the simple truth, and they are willing to spend the rest of their lives trying to get the Bad Boy to 'change'. This is a blind addiction and they will enable their addiction in any way they can - even if it means tolerating negative behavior, and dropping caring friends who advise them to leave the relationship. See, it's not the jerk part that she is attracted to. It's his 'resistance' that drives her crazy! So now all you people out there in 'ReaderLand' can relax in knowing the truth at long last... that a woman isn't attracted to a man that treats her like shit, because it's just not true. She is attracted to a man that 'resists' her efforts to change him, because that makes him seem like a 'Real Man' to her. THEIR 'SO-CALLED' LOVE One thing I have seen repeated OVER and OVER again is that women who think they are in love with a Bad Boy, are not really truly in LOVE with the Bad Boy, but rather they are caught up in a web of 'cause' and 'action'. Addicted to the chase, and held captive by the thrill of being 'so close' to winning. A gambler has the same type of addiction. Gambling is such a hard

addiction to break because the gambler is held captive by the feeling that he could win that big jackpot at any moment (recouping all his losses) the little jackpots, the small 'payoffs', just reinforces the belief to the gambler that the 'big' jackpot may be just another win away! The lure of the 'big' jackpot keeps teasing the gambler, dangling just close enough to appear to be well within reach! This illusion keeps the gambler hooked! "....I'm almost there... I'm almost there... I'm almost there..." Most women who believe they are in love with the Bad Boy are actually in denial: It is their addiction to the 'cause' making them feel attached to the Bad Boy. They have subconsciously made him their Higher Power much as a drug addict makes the drug their higher power. His resistance to letting her change him, or suck his life out of him (as woman can sometimes do *grins*), makes him more attractive to her. Many women, when asked what they find most attractive about their Bad Boy will relate that their Bad Boy has a hidden 'good side' that only she knows about (ahem. yeah, right.). Unfortunately, it isn't true love these women feel, but rather the intense need to get him to change, to fix him, to turn him into that Nice Guy that she just knows is in there. Basically, what these women are doing is reacting to their primal 'female side' - their nesting instinct. She needs to be a 'mother', and to do that she must do two things: 1) Take a man and make him think she is the best of the best. Perfect enough to mother his children. This is done during the 'mating ritual', where she promotes her qualities and he promotes his. If the man is instantly ready to be her love-slave she has no reason to promote herself. This makes her feel like he is too easy and desperate to take the time to pick and choose the right mate, and so she is not attracted to him. She hasn't had to work at or earn him, so he isn't too special either. However, if he isn't instantly 'agog' with her, then she puts all her assets out there for him to see. The harder he resists her, the more he appears to be 'selective' and self-worthy, and the more appealing he becomes to her. The more he seems worth her investment... And if she can eventually 'break' him, and get him to be her willing 'honey-do' slave, then she knows that she has won him. (What an ego-boost for her!) 2) Take a man and turn him into father material. She becomes a fixerof-broken-men, an 'improver'. She must now make him into a good provider. A Picket Fence Builder. Her subservient puppet. Her Nesting

Instinct's Key Player. But first he must pass the 'mating ritual' dance in order for her to believe that he would be a good enough man to entrust her nest to, and to do that she looks for two qualities. 1) His strength, including physical, emotional, and mental 2) A strong male energy (more on that later)

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 3
The Bad Boy - What's the REAL Attraction? The beginning of a relationship with a Bad Boy can be escalating (to say
the least!) The Bad Boy shows such an intense physical attraction to the woman (not devotion, not admiration, not adoration, not romantic interest just physical attraction) that she begins to feel just so damned good ABOUT HERSELF and her WOMANHOOD, too. (NOTE! There is a HUGE difference between showing a woman sexual interest and showing a woman romantic interest. Sexual interest means she has passed the physical approval part - of which she only had to 'primp' a little bit for, but romantic interest means that you find her worthy of a lengthy relationship - a romantic interest of which she should have to work her ass off for, because that means that you are 'selective' of which women is WORTHY of you, making you more 'valuable' in her eyes.) After all, men are visual and women know this, so their ultimate dating ritual is to be physically attractive to appease man's approval. And winning his physical attraction makes her feel rapturous! This euphoric stage sets the scene for the devastating 'crash' that is bound to happen. Unfortunately, when she feels so euphoric by the actions of the Bad Boy in the 'pursuing stage' she tends to see the Bad Boy as omni-important. The more power she give him, the harder she falls. When she gives the Bad Boy this power over her, she may react in two adverse ways when evidence of his 'resistance' to her surfaces... 1. The Bad Boy doesn't change, making her 'CRASH': When the Bad Boy resists her she becomes frantic, wondering what she did wrong. So, she tries even harder to prove her worthiness in order to gain back his love and admiration. 2. She becomes the 'enabler': She makes up excuses for the Bad Boy, lives in denial, or takes the blame for his 'resistance' to her. She does not hold the Bad Boy accountable for his actions, but instead tries to hide the reality of his actions from herself. She refuses to believe he can't 'change', choosing, instead, to focus

only on those little, brief periods where he does concede just to keep her 'hanging on'. Then she makes up excuses for the Bad Boy's behavior, absolving the Jerk from all responsibility! Yes, the Bad Boy does give in and stops resisting on a rare occasion. He does this to keep her hopes up and to not 'lose her'. But he doesn't relinquish his Power long, and soon he will be back to resisting her efforts to get him to change, or dote on him, or become her puppet. "He was real nice to me this weekend, but I don't know - he's changed back again". That's why she will complain that he promised he would 'change' this or that about him, and that he was 'good' (a 'changed' man) for a few days/weeks, but then he went back to his usual ways. And she's hoping that someday soon this battle will be won and he will 'change' for good and not revert back to his old ways. But, of course, this never happens. He does this to keep her attached to him and to make sure that he keeps holding the Power in the Relationship. If he were to give into her and 'change', and do everything she tells him to, then he will have lost the Power in the relationship, and she will have lost her respect for him as a man. Once she gets the Power in the relationship, she rapidly loses interest in him. Causes, Hooks, and Terrorism Nothing is more intriguing than having a 'cause'. And nothing is more addictive than having a cause that is also a HUGE challenge to succeed at. A challenge creates action. It is invigorating. Both of these aspects together are what keeps us attached to the 'Resister'. The 'cause' and the 'challenge'. Nice Guys have a cause of their own... and that is to get a woman like the Bad Boys can. And the girls who love the Bad Boys have a cause, too. To get the Bad Boy to become a Nice Guy. A Picket Fence Builder. It is the intrigue and the implied-promise of 'winning over adversity', and the 'thrill of the chase', that keeps us compelled to watch thrillers and action-packed movies. We sit on the edge of our seats, glued to our television sets or movie screens. The same rings true in our real lives, also. The intensity of the battle to 'win' brings an almost erotic sense of pleasure to our dull and drab ordinary lives. Yes, we may say we want a

quiet and peaceful life, but when things calm down and settle into a routine we go out of our minds with boredom. This isn't what we wanted after all! We want thrills! We want action! We want to feel the adrenaline rush through our veins! We want to feel alive! We want to feel challenged! AND WE WANT TO WIN! What good is a challenge if we lose? Losing makes us feel defeated, less than, unworthy ... not good enough. Failures. And who wants to be a failure that didn't measure up? Nobody! Especially not you and I, right? We want to be winners. We want to be 'better'. We want to save face and ego. We are poor-losers.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 4
How to Be the Bastard that Women Love
So we thrive on the 'cause' and the 'challenge'. We need 'cause' and 'challenge' to prove ourselves good enough, strong enough, worthy enough. And we get so caught up sometimes in our cause that we can't see the forest for the trees. Take the case of os*ma b*n l*den (not worthy of capitalization, nor of being written or spoken), whose cause has overruled and all-absorbed his sense of 'reality', 'morality' and 'righteousness'. Ironically, the very same elements he equates to his cause! He is blinded by his cause. His trees are so overshadowing, that the forest has become completely obscure. He is completely lost inside the dense jungle of his 'blind cause'. and nothing - nothing - will ever bring him back to reality. Although, on a much lesser scale, being in love with a Resister is no different. We become so lost, so obsessed in the 'cause' and the 'challenge', that we can't see clearly. We lose sight of and can't see anymore what the original purpose of our cause was. We feel so challenged that we have lost all of our rational judgment and now we simply exist to overcome, and conquer, the challenge. We become 'love terrorists', and we will resort to any measure feasible to make our point. We forget about 'love' - mistakenly assuming it is still there for it was at the beginning of our cause, wasn't it? Unbeknownst to us, though, is that over time the challenge has subtly taken prominence over the love, effectively masking itself as 'love'.

Our Cause Causes Concern


Could we possibly have been so caught up in the 'challenge' that we mistakenly thought the outcome we sought was still based on love and about them, and not just on winning our cause? Could the 'love' we once felt been subtly overshadowed by the task at hand (getting the 'Resister' to concede), until the challenge of reaching our goal actually replaced the love, and became the real reason for our cause? Could the original motives of trying to get love and commitment actually

become a quest just to win the battle of resistance? Have you ever loved (wanted) a woman so bad that you became a love terrorist? Did you go after her using all the tactics imaginable? Did you get so caught up in 'winning' her that you forget the reason why you wanted her to begin with? I was a Love Terrorist. I battled my 'Bad Boys'. Big time! I resorted to Love Terrorism. I had to win my cause at all costs. And my cause was to get them to surrender to me. Only then could I say to myself that I was THE WOMAN OF WOMEN. Period. I mistakenly thought that his surrender to me meant that I was GREAT enough to CRACK THIS IRON MAN. After all, this man's love for me was so intense that he would do anything for me...anything. But once the Bad Boys became my humble servants, my puppets, my conquered, I lost respect for them. They were 'ugly' without their Power. Weak and feeble to allow themselves to be ruled by me. Spineless. No identity. Unmanly. Unchallenging. Nice Guys! But, the point is, I became so lost - so caught up in trying to 'change' them, that I didn't even realize until many years later that I didn't even love these guys. In fact, they were complete assholes! However, I didn't see that at the time because I was so consumed with the cause, and with the challenge to 'change' them, that the 'here after' part never even occurred to me - and I never really saw the real them. The creeps I would have ended up with.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 4
How to Be the Bastard that Women Love
How to Be a Real Man Without Being A Jerk
You can be a Real Man and a Good Man and still get the chicks. Remember that a Real Man never lets a woman become his upper Power. He never lets her 'change' him, nor does he alter his own identity to please her. He has way too much self-respect and self-love for that. To do so puts him in a lower class and category than her, and this is a turn-off to a woman who wants a man to still be a man. You don't have to be 'Bad', or an Asshole, or a Jerk, just the Bastard that won't let her have her way all the time - or rather, never more than 35% of the time (smile, Lucy!). (You need at least to give into her sometime or you will be a 'jerk', and not a Real Man.) The Bastard is a good man, but still a real man. The Bastard has the guts to stand up to her. The Bastard is a Real Man that will show a sexual attraction for the woman, but have way too much self-respect and self-worth to judge her to be romantic 'relationship' material too soon. He is much more selective about who is good enough to get in his heart. The Bastard is a Real Man who resists all her instinctive efforts to 'change' him, better him, alter him, or fix him. He likes himself just the way he is, and if she doesn't accept who he is, then she can take a hike. The Bastard is a Real Man who has his own life and interests, outside of her, and who leads and rules this life. The Bastard is a Real Man that demands respect and doesn't allow women to walk all over him, or take advantage of him. The Bastard is a Real Man who can give and take love, but not be consumed and controlled by it. The Bastard is a Real Man who understands his emotions and is in

control of them. The Bastard is a Real Man that doesn't try to show her he can 'relate' to her on her level, for he knows that she doesn't want a man that is her likeness. The Bastard is a Real Man who knows women are not Goddesses to be worshipped or in awe of. The Bastard knows that he doesn't have to give and give and give to show a woman he likes her - or even loves her. The Bastard knows he can be nice just for the sole sake of being nice, and the Bastard does not expect anything in return for his niceness. The Bastard holds no price tag for his good actions, and does not need to be a people pleaser to please himself. The Bastard knows he shouldn't have to be phony for people to like him, but the Bastard really doesn't place too much importance on other people's acceptance of him because he is comfortable with himself. The Bastard knows he can be kind - but only to a point - and doesn't overdo it or let people take advantage of his kindness. The Bastard knows he doesn't have to give up himself to be loved by her.

The Bastard is the last word. A Real Man who is True to His Gender.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 4
How to Be the Bastard that Women Love
Nice Guys, Bad Boys, and Real Men - Oh, My!
Most people are under some stupid impression that there are only two types of men, Nice Guys and Bad Boys! Bull! That's like saying there are only two types of women, Virgins and Whores. This is an especially popular belief among 'Nice Guys'. Why do the socalled 'Non-Bad Boys' think there are only TWO TYPES of men in the world - 'Nice Guys and scum-sucking, abusive 'Bad-Boys'? Hello? Do they really think that the world is only made up of two-types of men? That you're either a super-duper NICE GUY or a woman-beating, sexually abusive BAD BOY? And why does everyone who is not a 'BAD BOY' automatically think they qualify as a 'NICE GUY'? Men think that if they treat a woman with respect that they fit the classic 'NICE GUY' image - not so....maybe a 'GOOD MAN or a 'Real Man', maybe even a Bastard - but not necessarily a NICE GUY. The reason for this misconception is that there are more REAL MEN characteristics found in the Bad Boys, than there are REAL MEN characteristics found in the Nice Guys. And all you Nice Guys out there are whining right now, "....but I am a Real Man, I truly am - you bitch!" SEE? You CAN BE a Good Man without having to be a 'NICE GUY'!...because... ....sometimes Nice Guys are more the Bad Boy than the Bad Boys are! Angry, Bitter Misogynists For instance, below is only a small sample - and I mean SMALL sample (of emails I get from Nice Guys). I could fill a book with these bitter, angry misogynic emails I get from these supposedly 'Nice Guys' - and it only

proves to the world that, yes, perhaps, 'Nice Guys' do tend to be somewhat deranged. For your enjoyment (and to prove a point), here are some emails I have received from self-proclaimed 'Nice Guys' (punctuation and spelling exactly as received):

Email from a 'NICE GUY ': "eat shit, cunt. whats up with you being such a bitch about nice guys? what's wrong with them? please stop being the devil." Email from a 'NICE GUY ': "if that's reall what you think of "nice guys", then i'll be nice, and say... "eat my ass"." Email from a 'NICE GUY ': "well i hope you get hooked up with a jerk who beats the shit out of you because you deserve it! what the hell is wrong with you... what a sadistic outlook on males. i feel bad for you.. really." Email from a 'NICE GUY ': "But why bitch about how fucked up nice guys are when it is people exactly like yourself and the so called guys that are worthy who create us." (NOTE: I just have to say, "HUH???" to this one) Email from a 'Nice Guy': from bitchgonnagetsmacked@stupidbitch.com (did you catch that email address?) "one day...a mean guy will stick his fat cock in your pooper and then force it down your throat....hahah you stupid bitch." Email from a 'NICE GUY ': "Generalisations of "nice guys" infer only one's inability to reconcile perceived relationships with real ones. I suggest you continue your quest of love without the gnarly hangups that so plague post-feminist imbeciles. Regards, Kris" Email from a 'NICE GUY ': Ok... obviously nice guys don't exist. And mean guys dont have big fat cocks cuz a nice girl most likely bit it off. For the good of all women!!!! AND THIS FROM saminaraza@therapyx.org: Fuck off!!!!! Kind of scary, huh? Makes me want to lock my doors and get a gun just in case one of these 'Nice Guys' come around - or maybe I should just go find me some Bad Boy to protect me from the twisted mind of the Nice Guy!

Now think of this: How many times have you heard interviews from neighbors, coworkers, and acquaintances of really deranged males, such as Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, or Bill Gacy, describe him as a really Nice Guy? "I just can't believe it because he was such a Nice Guy!" ... "Who would've thought that such a Nice Guy could've been responsible for all those murders?" ... "We all considered him as a really Nice Guy... the kids loved him." Yes, Nice Guys suck...but, hey, Bad Boys suck...where are all the Real Men?

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 4
How to Be the Bastard that Women Love
But here is more about the 'Nice Guy'.
People Pleasers Nice Guys are emotionally hungry. They usually only view themselves through other people's eyes, and mostly have no real identity of their own. They try too hard to please people in order to get the positive feedback that they need in order to feel good about themselves. Without this positive feedback they are empty. Bitter, Selfish Men Unfortunately, the more they try to please people, the more bitter they get if that person isn't pleased.

"You are wrong not to agree with me after all I do for you!" "I'm unable to understand my emotions and therefore I feel needy ... and since I do so much for you I believe you should let me cry on your shoulder." "I'm totally upset that you're in a bad mood when all I do is try to make you happy!" "I give so much to you so that I will have your full, undivided attention in return, and now you have the audacity to come to me and tell me that you want to go out with your friends and leave me all alone?!" "I only take care of you so that I, myself, will have someone to take care of me!"

As women get older they do appreciate a Nice Guy more. Life becomes a lot 'easier' (if not 'stagnant') than the life of constant turmoil with the Bad Boys. Of course, if given the choice women would still would prefer a Real Man, a Bastard, over either the Nice Guy or the Bad Boy. Bastards have a 'Real Man' hardened edge over the Nice Guys, and a 'Real Man' hardened edge over the Bad Boys. And it's granted that women get

turned on by guys who have a hardened edge (just as men get turned on by women who have a softened edge), but that doesn't necessarily mean he is a jerk (or she an airhead). Basically, no one likes a pushover, and Bastards can be nice without being a pushover. On the flip-side of that coin, there are many, MANY Nice Guys who are equally attracted to, and go after the 'wildcats' (more than they are interested in the Good Girls) as there are women that are more attracted to the Bad Boys over the Nice Guys. Good Men aren't Necessarily 'Nice Guys' Calling all you Good Men out there! I would like to get through to all the men out there this fact: Just because you respect women and don't beat them, mistreat them, or cheat on them, doesn't necessarily mean that you should stereotype yourself as the so-called (and very unpopular) 'Nice-Guy'. And, to get my point across even more, I would say that only about 3% of all the men I meet or know would I qualify for getting the 'Bad Boy' award, and only about 2% of the men I meet or know would I say qualify to be 'Nice Guys'. That leaves 95% of the entire male population out there as being really Good Men, but not Nice Guys or Bad Boys. Nice Guy is strictly an attitude and frame of mind - and so is Bad Boy. There are some really, really good men out there that have this Bad Boy attitude (but aren't really 'bad'), yet women don't go whining about them to you (or anybody else) because they are happy with these men, so you don't hear about them. You only hear about the Bad Boys because they are the assholes - and the assholes are the ones that the women complain about. (Just like on the news...you hear about the criminals, but not about the honest, decent guy who gets up and goes to work every morning.) But there are many, many good men out there that have that Bad Boy edge, without having to actually be 'bad'. They just have to be Real Men. More than likely you are one of them. Found on the web: "Nice Guys are all psychotic, bitter sociopaths who hide behind the mask of being 'nice'."

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 4
How to Be the Bastard that Women Love
A very real problem with the Nice Guy is that he sees a woman he likes and he innocently thinks that if he treats her really good he will make her happy and she will be forever by his side. The only problem with this logic is that he becomes the predictable, and all too easily available, 'rescuer'. There isn't any excitement in his seduction method or romance process because he is too achievable and she doesn't have to do any chasing - or 'changing', or 'fixing', or 'improving', or 'reshaping'. Her excitement will stem from a man who is a little more 'selfish' with his love, his attention, and 'himself'. A man that doesn't think she is worth moving Heaven and Earth, but leads her to believe that if she works at it, she just might be. Her excitement, also, will stem from a man who never puts any woman first. He can be nice to women, but he always remembers who comes first in his life; himself, his family and friends, and then his woman. He can be attentive to her, but not at the cost of anybody or anything else. She will soon yearn for the man that learns not to be too attentive. Found on the Internet: "When a guy is bad to everyone but is nice to the woman he's with, it feels more special. A guy that treats everyone with respect and kindness doesn't make you feel special". "....I could never turn a bad boy good, even though I tried (and had fun trying). I didn't want to make him all goodjust a little bit so I could have the best of both worlds. But I have definitely turned good guys bad. They're so eager to please; they'll do anything you want..." When with a Nice Guy the woman always knows that her place with him is safe. She hasn't anything to work for or work at. There is no fear of losing him. He is a done deal. But when a woman is out with a Bastard she always knows that if she weren't there, someone else would be. This keeps her on her toes, working to keep his attention and attraction, and

valuing him in her life all that much more.

Found on the Internet:


"My friends tell me they (women) love a guy with a sense of humor, who is very intelligent, gentle, caring, honest, sensitive and cute. He's always thinking of her first... .... I have yet to hear one of them say they prefer a guy who's very aggressive, likes to party with his friends a lot, and gets together with other girls when he's wasted. But that seems to be the trend. Meanwhile, I sit there with them (women) and make them laugh until they wet their pants. I explain the theory of relativity to them, and then pour my heart out until there is not a dry eye in the house. And in the midst of the sobbing and hugging, I always get an encouraging, "Oh John! You're the greatest! What would I do without you?" And then I silently sit by when pretty boy comes begging for forgiveness, with the excuse that he was so drunk he didn't know what he was doing. Suddenly, he is God again and all is forgotten. And I'm scorned for being critical of the man she loves." "Oh nice guys finish last, when you are the outcast Don't pat yourself on the back, you might break your spine" ~ From the song: Nice Guys Finish Last, By Green Day

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 4
How to Be the Bastard that Women Love It's All About the Woman's Nesting Instinct
Women need a man that is strong in spirit and character, and can take charge, in order to keep her children and nest safe. She subconsciously feels that people pleasers (such as Nice Guys) can't do this. Sometimes, to become that kind of man, the charade must be taken to the extreme, which involves behaving like a selfish person, not having major regard for other people's feelings, taking control of situations, and having the power in your relationship. (IRONICALLY, THIS MAKES HER FEEL SAFE FOR NESTING WITH YOU!) From the 'human instinctual survival' point of view, an inborn pattern of behavior, you can view this as 'species selection' whereas the female will only pick a male that has the traits necessary for strengthening the species - thereby increasing its chances of survival. It would only be a natural instinct for a woman to want to pick a superior mate who was strong and healthy physically, skillful and intelligent, and of sound mind and strong character, so that she could pass on these genes to the next generation and ensure the survival of the species. If she did not choose such a mate, her species may develop some degree of weakness that would give it a disadvantage in relation to those that did not. If she did not select only the strongest mates her species could succumb to, or be driven out by, a stronger species, and would eventually die off. Additionally, women have long needed a man that can competently protect the nest from enemies and supply the necessary provisions needed for survival. This meant that the man had to be strong, both physically and mentally, and emotionally detached, unsympathetic, and disimpassioned enough to be able to hunt and prey, and fight off the enemy. On the other side of that men are instinctively visual because he had to select a woman that would ensure healthy offspring should he mate with her. She had to have hips that were wider in proportion to her waist to

ensure the ability to carry and birth his child, and ample breasts to ensure the nourishment of his offspring (he threw in beautiful legs just because he could).

An excellent and awesome excerpt from an article found online (http://www.overopinionated.com/niceguys.htm):


"...So what are these attributes that "nice guys" have that turn women most women off? To be brutally honest, self-proclaimed "nice guys" often exhibit feminine traits. Even in the 21st century, most women are still looking for macho guys. Perhaps it's cultural or maybe it's instinctual - women look for the best provider and father for their children. (I admit, this trend is slowly changing, but it's still a trend). I have some gay guy friends, and I realized that I have the same reaction to gay guys as I do to nice guys. So here's the harsh truth: Nice guys finish last because women detect the same kind of vibe from them as they do from gay men. That's why women love to be friends with nice guys, but are not interested in them romantically. I can hear the whining and denials already. Herds of nice guys are protesting that they are not gay or giving off a gay vibe. Yes, You Are. Don't blame it on assholes for stealing all the women away from you. Something about you is turning women off, and the sooner you admit it, the sooner you can get past it. I'm not saying that these so-called nice guys are gay or bisexual - don't misunderstand me. Nor am I saying gay guys are like these nice guys. What I'm saying is that women pick up on some weakness in nice guys that they perceive as "feminine", so nice guys get lumped into the same category as gay men would in a woman's subconscious -- a folder labeled "Not Husband Material". Here are a list of traits that turn women off: * Mr. Insecurity: Women like men who are self-confident. Most nice guys I've met are terribly shy -- they aren't "nice" they are just afraid to approach a woman. Why do "jerks" get all the women? Because jerks aren't afraid to talk to them! Shyness and selfconsciousness are not considered "manly" traits. Women want a guy who likes himself and doesn't need someone else to reassure him that he's worthy and good. If you don't even like yourself, why should someone else? Don't look for happiness outside yourself. Once you are happy with yourself, people will see that in you and be attracted to it, just like bugs are attracted to light. * Mr. Clingy: Guys who want to spend all their time with a woman, or who attach themselves to a woman shortly after meeting her are a total turn off. Women feel threatened and wonder if he's a stalker. And we really don't want someone who thinks they are in love after one date. That just reeks of desperation. * Mr. Depression: Hey, everyone gets depressed once in awhile. But having known some of these nice guys, one thing I noticed is that they are often depressed and some even threaten suicide. Sorry guys, most women still believe we need a good provider -

and how can you support us (emotionally) if you can't even hold yourself up? * Mr. Victim: Many of these self-proclaimed nice guys love to play the victim card. In every past relationship, the woman walked all over them and they were total victims. Great, he's a prime target for a woman who wants a guy she can walk all-over, and women who want a guy to take care of them will not be interested in Mr. Victim. Some Mr. Victims will introduce themselves as Mr. Cheated-On. He thinks that claiming he was cheated on is a "get out of jail free" card -- he's assuming this story will not only earn him sympathy but will also make him look totally blameless in the break-up. Men realize that saying "I was cheated on" sounds better than saying, "I was a jackass who treated her badly so she left me." If he's actually telling the truth, it makes you wonder why he can't keep a woman. Keep in mind that the main reason women cheat is because they are feeling unloved, neglected, or unappreciated -- not just for the sex. Also keep in mind that if it's true, do you really want a guy who is going to worry about you cheating on him, too? Who needs that kind of paranoia in a relationship?

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 4
How to Be the Bastard that Women Love It's All About the Woman's Nesting Instinct, continued
Article found online: continued
* Mr. Whiner: This guy whines about everything and he wants a lot of sympathy, but he doesn't care for advice. If you give him advice, he's already got 101 reasons why it won't work. He doesn't want to do anything to fix his problems... he just wants someone else to wave a magic wand and fix them. As an example, a lot of Mr. Whiner's will whine, "It's just too hard to get a date! I can't meet anyone anywhere! No, I don't want to use a dating service because I don't want to pay. Anyway, my best friend's cousin's sister's step-son's next door neighbor once used a dating service and he didn't meet anyone worthwhile, so I KNOW it's a waste of money. No, I won't do speed-dating because you have to pay to do that, too. No, I don't want to go out to clubs. I don't like drinking or dancing. All women want men who are totally rich or totally hot, and they're so picky. I don't want to date anyone my age because they're too immature. I don't want to date anyone older because they have too much baggage. No I don't want to join a hobby group because I don't like people in hobby groups -- they're boring. No, I won't date anyone at work because I have a rule against dating co-workers. No, I won't go to church singles groups because I hate religious people. I don't want my friends setting me up because I hate blind dates. Why can't I find a woooooomaaaaaaaan! Waaaaa! Nothing works for me. There are absolutely no single women in my area anyway!! Well, unless you count the fat chicks and I deserve better than some fat chick. Besides, it's hard to walk up to a woman to talk to her. She'll just shoot me down anyway and everyone will laugh and point at me. Waaaaa." The reason this guy is single is because he thinks he can get a woman to want him out of pity. But trust me, women aren't turned on by this whining. To all you Mr. Whiner's out there: You obviously get some kind of pay-off for all the whining and excuses, and I don't think you really want a date. If you wanted a date, you'd go after it instead of making excuses. You're like that fat chick you refuse to date: In most cases, the person is overweight because they are too busy making excuses about why no diet will ever work, rather than going out there and trying the diets to see if they'll work. And you're dating search isn't working because you are too busy making excuses about why it'll never work, rather than going out and trying. * Mr. Materialistic: This guy is obsessed with money and nice things. If he has money, he'll try to impress women with how much money he makes, or how prestigious his job sounds. But later, he'll whine that women are "gold diggers" only after him for his money. If you don't want to attract "gold diggers" stop bragging. Simple enough. Guys who don't have money complain women won't date them. One guy recently whined, "Women judge us on our bank accounts first, and our personalities second!" If that was true, only rich

men would marry! Even if it is true that men are judged by their wallets, women are judged by their looks. It's a pretty even playing field so stop whining! If you don't have enough money to get a beautiful woman, date the average woman who can't get the rich guy. Problem solved. * Mr. Romantic: Many nice guys fancy themselves as romantic, sweet and poetic. You've met this guy - he's the kind who'll buy romantic gifts for a gal he just met, and are always trying to make every encounter "romantic". Contrary to popular belief, not all women are slobbering romantics. A woman who is not really into poetry and candle light dinners or walks on the beach will be suspicious of a guy who claims he is. She'll think he's either trying to con her, or that he's just plain sappy. Either way, she'll scratch him off her list as being incompatible. * Mr. Mom: Guys who love domestic chores such as cooking and cleaning, who love shopping, and who are really maternal with kids are all giving off a feminine vibe. A lot of women will think he's too feminine. Some gals hate to cook and clean, so they'll jump at the kind of man who wants to take over those activities. But many women will feel usurped by that behavior, even if they dislike those things. Just as many men feel threatened by a woman who earns more than them, many women will feel misplaced by a man who thinks he can do better at being homemaker and mommy. And let's face it -while some women might find guys who totally blubber over kids to be cute at first, it gets old quickly. Keep in mind, a lot of women are looking for macho guys. * Mr. Immature: Most women don't want a guy they see as immature and irresponsible. They'll see a man who is financially irresponsible as a kid who can't handle a checkbook. If he is addicted to video games, many women will see this as a sign he's not any more grown-up than a teenaged boy. But worse yet, an immature attitude can really chase women off. I've often found these nice guys are often unable to take responsibility for their own actions, and instead blame other people any time things don't go right. The most blatant example of this is how most of these guys blame "assholes" for getting all the women (an Army major I met blames black men for his lack of female companionship). All of these things are blatant signs to women that men are immature and not ready for the responsibilities of a wife and children. * Mr. Misogyny: For those of you unfamiliar with the term, this means hatred of women. While this isn't exactly a "feminine" trait, it is another vibe that will turn women off. A lot of nice guys I came across were very bitter and angry towards women in their past, or to all women for liking "jerks". They may not hate all women, but they do hate some women whom they were close to, and this is like a bright, flashing warning sign to most women. Let's just say these guys aren't usually Momma's Boys -- they usually have mommy issues. One of the worst nice guys I met would go off on tirades about how much hatred he had for his birth mother for giving him up for adoption, how much he hated his adoptive mother for supposedly being abusive, his step-mother for not being affectionate with him, and his ex-wife for leaving him for another man. He would talk about how he'd play video games where he could rape and murder women to "vent" his frustrations on these "evil" women in his life. Yea, and then wondered why he couldn't get a date..."

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 5
The Spoiled, Pampered Bitch - the REAL Problem!
(Warning: Intense Women Bashing) Women Like the 'Bad Boy' Because They Are Tired of Getting Away With Being Princesses (and Bitches)!
It has long been my belief that men and women do a lot of talking about each other's needs and wants, yet some times women have absolutely no understanding for what is real and what is not. Women prefer Bad Boys over Nice Guys because Bad Boys are 'resistant' to her efforts to be treated like a Queen. There's one of those words again, ones that I keep throwing in your face all through this ebook, hoping it will sink in! "RESISTANCE; RESISTER; RESIST" His resistance to her and to her efforts to change him, proves him to be a real man in her eyes - the type of man that men used to be...before every Mars and Venus and Dr. Phil and Dr. Laura and Blah Blah Blah book and expert came along and basically told them that they were 'wrong' in behaving as 'men'. That they should do every-damned-thing the woman says to do, give her every-damned-thing she wants, take care of all her damned needs, and romance her like he was a damned Casanova! By being resistant to her she subconsciously views him as more of a man, respecting him far more than any other man she has ever known or met, and feeling far more feminine when she is with him then when she is with other men. She's attracted to and admires him more than other men, too. Add to this her instinctive need to 'nest' and to change him or fix him in order to do this 'nesting', keeps her hopelessly attached, attracted, and even addicted to the Resisting Man. In a relationship with the Nice Guy, the gender war is basically all onesided. The woman's side. It involves her beliefs and expectations of what men ought to do and should do and what women want and need, and not what woman ought to do and should do and what men want and need.

Added to this dilemma is the fact that a man mistakenly believes it is his job to keep his woman happy (thank the 'experts', again). She expects the man to come fully over to her side and meet her needs. She doesn't meet him in the middle, she doesn't go over to his side, and she certainly doesn't try to rationalize the possibility that maybe it isn't even his job to begin with to meet her needs, rather than her own job to make herself happy. She dumps each, all, and every one of her emotions, needs, wants, issues, longings, unhappiness, griefs, depressions, disillusions, and demands into this huge trash bag and then hands the bag over to him, saying, "Herethis is your problem. Fix it." The Nice Guy comes fully over to her side. The Nice Guy tries to fix her bag full of issues, but he can't. In fact, he makes it worse because he is so focused on her, that she becomes even more focused on herself and on her issues, which makes her even more unhappy (and more selfimportant and self-centered). The Bad Boy, however, doesn't budge from his side. He stays adamantly and firmly on his side, resistant to her efforts to change him and make him her puppet, and thus, by doing so, he makes her forget her bag of issues by giving her a new cause to work on. And that cause is him. Change him. Fix him. Mold him. Break down his 'resistance' and make him into a Nice Guy.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 5
The Spoiled, Pampered Bitch - the REAL Problem!
A woman wants a man to acknowledge and appease all her basic and instinctual needs and wants, yet in return, tells the man that his basic and instinctual needs and wants are wrong and he should not be allowed to have them. She wants man to come a full 100 percent over to her side of the gender differences, yet she refuses to budge from her side even one percent. I am the Princess. Rescue me. But do as a man, even though I am telling you to change and be more like a woman because that's what is needed to really fix me. And why is she so broken anyway? Because she has never been taught to fix herself! She is needy, and dependent, and expecting that everything is and should be about her, and if it isn't about her, then she just doesn't get fixed. But, ironically, when the man does go over to her side as she demands she then loses respect in him as a man! She subconsciously believes that a REAL MAN wouldn't have conceded to her. She thinks that if she can defeat him, he must be of a real weak character. He mistakenly views his actions as being respectful. He mistakenly views his actions as being a chivalrous Prince Charming. She mistakenly views him as a sappy, spineless wimp. Yes, women are more into the man meeting their 'wants' and 'needs', than they are into understanding that men don't have what it takes to do this. As my father used to say, "You can't get blood from a turnip." Yet women are expecting men to sacrifice and give up their maleness and come over to her emotional side and fix her, whom, incidentally, will never be fixed until she learns to fix herself. Everything else is only a temporary cover up to her brokenness. That's why men say that women are never happy. Because it's true! Until she learns to fix herself, and until she comes to a complete understanding and acceptance of the fact that men just are not able to come over and be 'as a woman' to her, she will not ever be 'fixed'. Men are as a man. Men only know how to be men. But see, the Nice Guy will try to come over and be 'as a woman' to try and please her in order to win her heart. He tries to be everything

that he thinks she wants him to be. A woman won't put the toilet seat up for the man. But she expects him to put it down for her. A woman won't tell a man to go sleep with other women because she understands that it's in his 'instinctive nature' to do so, yet she expects him to understand her 'instinctive nature' and to stay in the cave and nest with her. A woman won't ever say "sure, honey, go to the strip joint, I understand men are visual", yet she expects him to bring her flowers because women are emotional romantics. See what I mean! Men are supposed to come completely over to the woman's side and go against his instinctive male nature, while the women just adamantly stands firmly rooted to their 'woman's side' and waits for the man to join her therewhile she never budges an inch. They do this in bars. They do this in clubs. They do this at parties. They do this in schools. They do this at home. They do this at work. They do this in the park. They do this in their lives. "I am a princess, come and rescue me." And to top it all off, men are constantly being told that their male instincts are 'wrong'. They are told by women:

Not to be visual. Not to be crude. Not to be sexual. Not to be impassive. Not to be loud. Not to be assertive. Not to be unyielding. Not to be detached. Not to be offensive. Not to be hardened. Not to be dispassionate. Not to be dominant. Not to be unemotional. Not to be competitive. Not to be aggressive. Not to be combative.

Then they tell him (oh, the poor man!) to help with the dinner, change the diapers, do the laundry, wash the dishes, brush her hair, bathe the twins, rub her feet, take the kids to day care, bake a cake, feed the baby, paint her nails, hang the drapes, draw her a bath, be as a woman. But the very women who tell man all this crap then reject them as partners

because they're just not 'manly' enough for her. Instead these women are attracted to - and leave him for - the man that is in touch with his basic male traits, and doesn't try to change them to please her. The very man who Resists all efforts of woman to change him and make him be more like her - which is, basically, feminine. A Real Man does not allow himself to be changed into a woman. The Bad Boy is considered to be more of a real man than a Nice Guy because his is considered to be visual, crude, sexual, impassive, loud, assertive, unyielding, detached, offensive, hardened, dispassionate, dominant, unemotional, competitive, aggressive, and combative.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 5
The Spoiled, Pampered Bitch - the REAL Problem!
I sometimes feel that if I hear the phrase "woman's needs" one more time I'm going to scream. Needs? A BIG NO! Wants, desires, longings, selfgratifications.. YES! But, needs? Never. Needs are water, oxygen, food, good health, and mental clarity. Okay, so now that we have eliminated 'needs' from this list, let's look at what a woman wants. No, allow me to rephrase that: Let's take a look at what men have been told of what women want. Want #1: She wants to feel loved by her mate. Why? So that she feels secure in her position by his side, as his woman? Nope. Wrong again. If this were the case she wouldn't go to a Bad Boy to get the 'love' she feels she is lacking in her life, because basically the Nice Guy can make her feel loved. So, realistically her want for love isn't filled by the Bad Boy, but could be filled by the Nice Guy. Want #2: She wants to feel adored by her mate. Why? So that she feels secure in her position by his side, as his woman? Nope. Wrong again. If this were the case she wouldn't go to the Bad Boy to get the 'adored' feelings she feels she is lacking in her life, because basically the Nice Guy can make her feel adored. So, realistically her want for adoration isn't filled by the Bad Boy, but could be filled by the Nice Guy. Want #3: She wants to feel heard by her mate. Why? So that she feels secure in her position by his side, as his women? Nope. Wrong again. If this were the case she wouldn't go to the Bad Boy to get the 'understanding' she feels she is lacking in her life, because basically the Nice Guy can make her feel heard. So, realistically her want to be heard isn't filled by the Bad Boy, but could be filled by the Nice Guy. Want #4: She wants to feel noticed by her mate. Why? So that she feels secure in her position by his side, as his women? Nope. Wrong again. If this were the case she wouldn't go to the Bad Boy to get the 'attention' she feels she is lacking in her life, because basically the Nice Guy can

make her feel noticed. So, realistically her want to feel noticed isn't filled by the Bad Boy, but could be filled by the Nice Guy. Need I go on? The real reason why many women are attracted to the Bad Boy is because he isn't leaving his manhood to be with her. He isn't giving into her every demand and bowing down to her womanhood or placing her up on a pedestal, nor is he trying to fix her self-esteem issues and make sure that all goes right in her life. He is adamantly staying a man, and this makes her respect him more, feel safer by his side, and makes her feel more like a woman. Womendear, dear womenhave to get out of their castles and realize that it is not a man's job to become a 'woman' and give her the 'emotional' stuff she feels she needs. Because men just don't have it. Women need to acknowledge this fact, instead of thinking that the whole world is about the princess and expecting men to be dashing rescuers who will carry her away from her land of insecurity and self-doubtand make her feel good about herself. The more a Nice Guy focuses on his woman, the more she focuses on herself, too. When he switches his focus back to himself, she, too, focuses her attention back to him - as it should be. "Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it!"Unknown

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 5
The Spoiled, Pampered Bitch - the REAL Problem!
Women need to stop expecting men to fix them, to rescue them, to hold them up. Women need to stop expecting men to make them feel good about themselves, make them feel lovable, make them feel worthy, make them feel equal, make them feel attractive, make them feel secure, make them feel smart, make them feel safe, make them feel adored, make them feel funny, make them feel heard, make them feel whole, make them feel noticed, make them feel...it's not a man's job to make women feel. Women need to, for the first time in a hundred years, stop expecting a man to be as a woman, and start letting him be a man again. She must learn to deal with her wants on her own, and the way to 'fix' those wants would start with her gaining some self-respect, self-esteem, and acceptance of man for who he is, not what she thinks she needs him to be, and to recognize her own needs in such a way that she can better handle and deal with them on her own. Romance and long, teary talks are nice for some women but she should realize that they are not necessary to making a woman feel good or whole or complete about herselfand they are definitely not something that comes naturally to her masculine partner, even if it were true that he was from Mars and she was from Venus, and that he read the interplanetaryrelationship manual! He just can't force himself to be someone he is not. "Mans love is of mans life a thing apart; 'Tis womans whole existence."Lord Byron in Don Juan. Women have a too intense need for love, whereas a man can love with detachment from need. Since women are allowed to give in to their primal women's instincts and not taught that it is 'wrong' to do so, they give themselves permission to feel their emotions. The problem arises, though, when they are unable to understand their emotions and deal with them by themselvesthey are consequently left to be emotional and needy, broken and empty.

However, men are taught to not give in to his primal needs. They are not allowed to give in to their instinctive urge to reproduce, that to do so is 'wrong'. However, men have been taught to acknowledge and understand these needs and to deal with them in their own terms in a moral and civilized manner. Consequently, men have become more logical and in controlbut still not more emotionaland woman have not become anything at all except needier, more broken, and expectant of rescue. The truly funny thing is that more often than not, if a man tries to rescue her she loses respect in him. He thinks he is gaining her admiration, but he is really showing her what an easily-manipulated pansy he is. The Nice Guy shows her that everything is about her. The Real Man:

shows her that she is able to deal with her own life and her own issues (usually imagined) and calamities, simply by trusting her to be fully capable of taking care of herself stops her all-self-importance 'mode' by putting himself in her thoughts instead of herself in her thoughts adamantly resists her efforts to change him, consequently forcing her to focus all her energy and fixations on him doesn't bend over backwards to please her, but expects her to take care of herself gains her respect by staying true to his masculinity gains her attention by not focusing his every move and breath on pleasing her gains her attraction by being true to his gender isn't afraid to approach her for his natural and instinctive sexual needs and desires doesn't stop his life to give her one doesn't change to meet her needs does not take any disrespectful treatment doesn't dwell on or get consumed by romantic fantasies of her, but rather has other outside interest, such as hobbies, sports, career, and current or world events doesn't connect or latch onto her to give his life meaning and definition doesn't tell her everything about himself and refuses to lose himself to her, thereby keeping a special part of himself private to him only will never compromise personal needs, values, ethics or morality for a relationship with her never forsakes himself in favor of another doesn't make a woman or a relationship his whole reason for living

sees her not as a Perfect Madonna, but rather as the human being that she really is - flaws and all - yet still accepts her 'as is' likes himself and is happy with who he is, and not dependent on other's opinions of him does not make anyone, man or woman, his higher power expects his needs to be respected, but not necessarily met doesn't take it personally, or feel responsible for other's emotional states or moods puts up boundaries is himself - like it or leave it

Women would benefit a lot if they could understand that they tend to prioritize their pathway to self-esteem as the most important thing in the world to get from their mates. She doesn't understand that it's not all about 'her'. She subconsciously pooh-pooh's what her man considers important to himand instead focuses on her own desperate need of getting from him. Women should stop and ask themselves: "Am I also giving him this, too, in return?" "Am I really seeing what he is honestly capable of giving?" "Am I accepting of him as a man?" "Am I treating him the same way of which I need to be treated (like a woman), and not really in the way he needs to be treated (like a man)?" "Or am I making him feel that he is all wrong and that what he is comfortable in giving is an inconsequential offering compared to what I really want from him?" It's hard for women to remember that what her partner values and cares about may not be the same thing that she does, or that perhaps what her partner thinks is important to her may also be what is important to him, too.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 6
Men are Men, Women are Women. Deal With It!
But Not All Men and Women are the Sameor Different!
For the most part women have experiences that men don't have; men have experiences that women don't have; women are raised one way; men are raised another way; women's goals were of husband and family; men's goals were of success and power. Boys were encouraged to join their fathers on such activities as hunting; fishing; working on cars; mowing the grass; repairs around the home; or playing sports. Girls usually hung around with mom and were taught to cook; clean; shop; take care of the younger children; sew; and basically just follow in the gentler mother's ways. Men learned how to be men, women learned how to be women. Of course not all men and women are the same! There are exceptions to both sides. Since many girls are allowed to both play with dolls and enjoy fishing, climbing trees, and other 'tomboyish' things, women are able to be in touch with a more powerful, assertive, and driven male energy. However, men really aren't allowed to be 'sissy girls' as a child. The practice is frowned upon. It is likely that, as a child, he did not play with dolls, or have a play sink and toy dishes for 'tea parties'. Boys who cry, or act fearful are often made to feel humiliated, while a girl who plays more physicalhunting, fishing, cops-and-robbers, sports, etc. (yours truly, for one)are not only just more readily accepted, but also considered cute and tomboyish. That's why women adapt more easily to taking on a stronger or more dominant role in society, or position in the family unit. They can be more independent, powerful, and easily become successes outside of the home and in areas of competition. Men's and women's views of the world are very different, too. This is due mostly to the fact that men and women have a difference in the size of the corpus collosumor rather, the part of the brain between the right and left hemispheres. This gives us truly biological reasons for our different approaches to the world around us. Women can use both hemispheres of the brain simultaneously. That is

why a woman can be logical even when emotional, or can breast-feed a baby while studying for a college exam. They are better able to multitask than men, too, such as they can fix dinner while cleaning out the garage while doing the budget while arguing with their teenage daughter about curfew and still be talking to a client on the phoneall at the same time. Men can't do that, because men, on the other hand, use only one side at a time. They either are thinking logically, but not feeling, or they are feeling but have a great difficulty at being logical with their feelings (this fact, alone, could bear contribution as to the higher suicide rate among males). They can fix dinner but not at the same time that they are giving the twins their bath or talking to a client on the phone or fixing the vacuum cleaner. A man needs to focus when working on a project, and can be very easily distracted, losing his 'concentration'. Whereas a woman can focus on a project while the kids are yelling, the door is repeatedly being slammed shut, the television is blaring, the dog is barking, the bacon is frying, and the baby is crying. "Yet we not only make men come into our world, we also are trying to take over their world. Where is it safe for a man to be a man anymore?" ~Tigress Luv

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 6
Men are Men, Women are Women. Deal With It!
Add to men's problems with the inability to think and feel at the same time, are the fact that most men have been taught that emotions are sissy, and to not deal with them but rather subdue, suppress, or deny them. Women have been taught to just let their emotions take over them, and look to an outside source for rescue. Neither has been taught what emotions are, why they occur at certain times, how to handle them, and how to overcome negative feelings. Many teenage suicides, both male and female, could have been prevented if the victims had been taught to acknowledge and understand human emotions, and had been taught to feel comfortable in expressing their pain to others and also taught successful methods of dealing with negative emotions in a healthy way on their own. All our reasoning ends in surrender to feeling.Blaise Pascal Both female and male energy lies in each and every one of us. Where it is more common for a woman to be in touch with both her 'female energy' and her 'male energy', men still have a hard time feeling comfortable, or even in touch with, their 'female energy'. However, there are men that are very in tune to their female energy. For instance, most 'true' artists (musicians, poets, painters, writers, etc.) have a deeper ability to both see the world around them (the male energy) and feel the world around them (the female energy). They have a greater ability to be logical at the same time that they are feeling. "Art is not a handicraft, it is the transmission of feeling the artist has experienced."Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910), Russian writer, philosopher That is why artists are considered to be among the world's best lovers. They can reach a beautiful balance in their relationships. This is because they can relate to both the energy of their partner's gender, as well as staying in touch with their own gender's energy in order to complement their 'coupleness'. There are men, too, whose parents have allowed him to be real as a child and cry or have fears, cook with mom (or dad), and

play with dolls, etc., thus allowing him to feel his female energy without having to relinquish his male traits. BUT, is it a good thing? Should we allow or encourage women to be as men and men to be as women?

A Man and a Woman are in this World Together Apart and THAT is For a Reason!
Merriam-Webster Dictionary Definition for Complementary: 1 : relating to or constituting one of a pair of contrasting colors that produce a neutral color when combined in suitable proportions 2 : serving to fill out or complete 3 : mutually supplying each other's lack 4 : being complements of each other <complementary acute angles> 5 : characterized by the capacity for precise pairing of purine and pyrimidine bases between strands of DNA and sometimes RNA such that the structure of one strand determines the other

W omen don't have a market on emotions, you know! Men can and do
have emotion-based issues, too. Issues such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, insecurity, abuse... ....and they can have emotional feelings and still have their masculinity. The problem arises when women try to force them to swap one for the other. Masculinity for Emotional Tenderness. When they tell him that his masculine energy, traits, and instincts are 'wrong', and that he should be more tamed, subdued, docile, domestic, and gentle, it upsets the natural balance of relationships. Of course men have emotions! They're not vegetables, for crissake! To be a Real Man means you can have emotions, but that you understand them, and are in control of them, and to not let them control you. Women give in to and get consumed by their emotions, but men can better contain themselves and don't crumble at the slightest nuance.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 6
Men are Men, Women are Women. Deal With It!
For the most part, though, men tend to deal with their unpleasant emotions bynot denialbut by looking beyond them, whereas women get caught up in the web of emotions. A good example of what I am getting at was brought up to me one nightby my partner. He made an innocent comment about a quote that he had liked: "The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to support you long enough to enable you to reach for something higher" (by Thomas Henry Huxley). And I thought, "Ah Ha!" It hit me! This quote was meant for men. Not for women! Here would be a more definitive quote for a woman: "Life is not advancement. It is growth. It does not move upward, but expands outward, in all directions." (by Russell G. Alexander). See, women aspire to go 'deeper' whereas men aspire to reach 'higher'. Success to a woman is to delve inward, explore, and then take this exploration outward and touch the world around her. Success to a man would be to see higher and not let anything inward or outward impede his upward climb until he has, at last, reached his apex. Women need to delve inward to see outward (translate to feel). Women sense their environment. Men need to look beyond and upward in order to envision their summit (translate to see). Men envision their environment. A man's number one priority is to achieve status, which he needs independence in order to achieve. Whereas, opposing that, a woman's number one priority is to achieve involvement, which she needs connectivity in order to achieve. However, men are instructed to minister to women's need for connectivity, but he is not allowed to foster his own need for independence. Men complain that women are emotional and women complain that men are insensitive. Well, duh! Man is man. Woman is woman. Could you imagine a world different? A world where men were women and women

were men. A unisex world? I wouldn't like it very much, would you? I like the differences, and each gender's difference is beneficial and complementary to the other gender. And as an ironic afterthought, if the man does become sensitive, she labels him a sissy and goes running to Mr. Insensitive...because he's just more manly to her. For instance, could you imagine a world where everyone was emotionally volatile? People that fell apart anytime some minor crisis affected their sense of normalcy. Men are meant to be insensitive to certain things as a way of getting unpleasant things donethings that need to be done. Call it man's survival instinct. Men's emotional levels are the way they are for a reasonto focus on his abilities to operate the world in a stern and orderly fashion - to oversee it - while the women domesticate it. Therefore, when we force men to feel things such as more openness, more intimacy, more 'let's get together and talk about our feelings', more empathy, more compassion, more fear, etc., we are forcing them to do what is not natural to them. We are forcing them to have women's emotions and to think and feel as a woman even though it is not in their nature to be needy Cinderellas, or self-focused Barbie dolls. On the other side of that, could you imagine a world where everyone was logical and insensitive? Women are meant to be emotional, caring, empathetic, and compassionate. Otherwise we would all be walking around zombies because we would have been grown via mechanical parents. No warmth, no nurturing, no understanding. We would have sick and hungry, for no one would care to nurture them. We would have bitterness and unruliness, because no one would care to empathize. We wouldn't have beauty. We would have greed and civil battles on our land, in our own town. Call it women's survival instinct. Women's empathetic and feeling nature is there for a reason. To tend to the care of mankind, while the unyielding strength of our determined men get things done to ensure the world operates in a secure and orderly level. But men don't try to force their insensitive ways on women. They don't say come over to my side and be firm, and hard, and forceful for the good of mankind. The whole Nice Guy / Bad Boy problem is based on this misguided concept. Women aren't turned on to a man that has more female energy than male energy. That is more soft and feeling and caring, than hard and insensitive and dispassionate. Nice Guys think that the more they 'match'

and 'relate' to the woman, the more she will feel comfortable around him and respond to him. In reality, he needs to be her 'opposite', though, to compliment her and make her feel good around him. Let's reverse the situation for a minute, shall we? OK. Let us say that you are in a club and a straight, heterosexual woman comes over to your table. She is attractive and dressed in a plaid flannel shirt, baggy jeans with keys dangling from the belt loop, and work boots. As she gets there she grabs an empty chair, swings it around backwards, and straddles it from behind. She lights a cigar, tips her bottle of beer to her mouth, lifts it straight up and takes a long, thirsty chug. She then lets out a long belch, wipes her mouth off with the back of her hand and says in a loud, course voice, "Howdy, Mac. My name is Theresa." Let me ask you: Are you attracted to her? No. You're at the same club and you see this other woman sitting at a nearby table. She is hot! She is wearing this charming little dress that shows off her curvaceous body. Under her table her soft, shimmery legs are crossed and she is seductively dangling her one high heel shoe from her toes, while above the table she is tracing slow, sensuous circles around the rim of her glass with a silken, manicured finger. She turns toward you, tossing her hair slightly and flashes you a beautiful, warm, flirtatious smile. Men are milling around her, and she openly flirts with them, while occasionally sending you demure quick glances from under her long, curled eyelashes. She is obviously attracted to you. Are you attracted to her? Yes. OK. Now I'm going to be honest with you and tell you that Theresa is a really Nice Girl and very in touch with how men feel. She can relate to you all day long, and be a good buddy and loyal partner. She'll worm your fishing hook for you; she'll change the oil in the car for you. Hell, she'll even help you shave your back. And, at long last, she knows that men hate all that 'romance' garbage so she gets turned off by romance and will slap you silly if you buy her flowers or chocolates. On the other hand, the other woman is a naughty little thing, and you would be in a high, energetic state of constant vigilance in order to tame that wild, little filly. She loves to be wined and dined in ritzy restaurants and will melt in your arms should you bring her expensive red roses. You are sure to get numerous calls asking for you to change the oil in her car,

and she will be upset if you go fishing instead of taking her to the theatre. Still, which woman are you hot for? And which one of these women makes you feel more like a man? Men allow women to be emotional, and they do not expect women to be as a manbut women do not allow men to be like a man. This is where the problem arises. This is how the Nice Guy lost his manhood. And this is the very reason why she isn't interested in him. Women expect him to be as a woman and meet all her womanly needs. Hmmm, isn't that what they used harems for?

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 6
Men are Men, Women are Women. Deal With It!
Of our 853 cultures, only 16 percent actually prescribe monogyny. That means that a staggering 84 percent of all human societies permit a man to take more than one wife at once. I think that, logically, most men cannot support more than one wife and family, and most women do not want to share their husbands. Yet, harem building is common among many species of animals. Mans' biological need is to pass on his genes. Whereas a man can impregnate many women in one week's time, one woman can only mother one child per year. Harem building would seem like a logical choice for our early ancestors. He could carry on his genes with many different women, and she could be provided with shelter, food, necessities for her childrenand she would still have a friendship and close bonding with the other women of the harem, as well as all the women relating to each other's emotional needs (feelings), helping each other with the domestic chores and responsibilities, and raising the children together. She would be able to reach her connectivity needs, and he would be able to reach his independency needs. However, today's woman doesn't 'allow' the man to follow his needs to procreate, let she expects him to follow her needs to nest and to be domesticated - and behave as a woman. "The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." ~ George Bernard Shaw I know most of you are probably gasping right now, thinking that I am promoting harems and polygamy. Personally, whatever works for you is of none of my business. However, the promotion of polygyny or not, isn't my point here. My point here is that women should not expect men to stay at home and dote over her emotional needs, anymore than a man should expect his wife to allow him to have other wives or lovers. If women expect men to be able to relate to her primal needs for emotional companionship, connectivity, and support, then a man, too, should expect that his wife will relate to his primal instincts and allow him to go off and

reproduce with other women. Get it? Basically a woman just cannot respect a man who gives up being a man. She may think that is what she wants, be she consistently longs after the man that adamantly refuses to be 'like a woman'. "Why can't men be more 'empathetic'?" -Found on the Internet More empathy for men? I HOPE NOT! If a man were as empathetic as a woman he would have never been able to kill his first prey, to feed his family, to let the weaker die in order to save the stronger. If men were more empathetic the human race would have perished with the first man. For instance, women can't look in a deer's eyes and shoot it, but most men canand then women turn around and label them as heartless (all while she's eating the meat he has provided for her!). Men have a survival intelligence that far surpasses women's, whereas women have an emotional intelligence that far surpasses men's. And it should stay that way because if we continue to force men to be more as a woman, we would be in big trouble. Now, seriously, think about these ten scenarios: 1. Something terrible has happened to our planet and just a small group of people have survived, you are among them. With no Earthly goods anymore, it is pertinent for your survival that this group trek a long and dangerous journey to a safe land. Would you rather embark on this journey with a man or a woman as your leader? 2. If you were home from work, sick to your stomach with the flu; breaking out in feverish sweats; nausea; stomach cramps; and basically bed-ridden; would you rather have a man tending to your care or a woman. 3. If you had an important question about a particular world event that you needed to know the answer to right now, would you ask a female friend to help you with it, or a male friend? 4. If something was troubling you in your personal life, and you needed someone to turn to, not only for accurate advice but for comfort, too, would you turn to a male friend or a female friend? 5. A large statured man has overdosed on drugs and is acting in a very menacing way. He is delirious and threatening you from only a few feet away, towering over you in height and weight, his adrenaline surging through his veins. Someone has called the police. Thank God, a patrol car arrives, but the officer is alone. Would you feel more relieved if it was a male officer, or a female

officer? 6. Your car won't start and you have tried everything imaginable to diagnose the problem and to get her running again. But there's just something you're missing. Finally you admit that you need assistance. Do you call on your male friends or female friends for help? 7. You've accidentallybut majorlystained your favorite shirt. Although quite expensive, the cost of the shirt is nothing in comparison to the fact that it was a gift from someone you hold very dear and special in your heart. You have to get that stain out, and save the shirt, but you don't know how. So you are going to entrust the shirt to your friend to get the stain out. In this case would your friend be a man or a woman? 8. The same man who overdosed on drugs in question number five is out on the loose again and, again, in a crazed, threatening, and agitated state. He, again, is coming after you and you just know the police won't be around this time to help you out. However, a person steps in and tries to reach out to the man to calm the man down, attempting to understand what the man is going through in order to relate to the man's situation betterand to better defuse the situation. This person begins to talk to him, soothing him and calming him down, and eventually the angry man untenses his body, turns around and walks away. Was it a man or a woman that just stepped in and saved your life? 9. Your spouse and you have to leave town on an urgent family matter and you are unable to take your active, two-year-old toddler with you. You need some one reliable to trust leaving your twoyear-old with, however your family lives far away from you. You and your spouse both have many good friends, though, and all of your friends are single and available for the next few days. Do you call a male friend to watch your active toddler, or do you call a woman friend? 10. You have worked hard and managed to save up exactly $5,000 to purchase a more reliable vehicle over the one that you are currently driving. You want to bring a buddy with you to help ensure you get the best buy for your money. Do you bring a female buddy or a male buddy with you to the dealership? See! If you were honest with your answers you would see how it is beneficial not only to our survival, but to our peace and well-being as well, to allow the genders to remain separatethat of a man and that of a woman. Although, both are equally important to mankind, and women can do men's work, and men can do women's work, it is still in our best interest to ensure that these two genders do differ, acknowledge this

difference, appreciate each gender for the contributions they each make, and meet at a halfway mark. Men need to be allowed to achieve their goals independently, as this is what makes them feel whole and good about themselvesto feel power through competence and accomplishment. Women need to be allowed to share with others through their feelings and the quality of their relationships, as this is what makes them feel whole and good about themselvesto feel power through their interpersonal relationships with themselves and with their loved ones. "A Morning Lark can never be as a Night Owl, and vice versa. Both would lose sleep and eventually die." ~Tigress Luv

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 6
Men are Men, Women are Women. Deal With It!
The Making and Taking of Man
"Innumerable studies and surveys find men dissatisfied with themselves and their roles in society. Part of this, undoubtedly, is the result of the displacement men are experiencing in a culture where women are so successfully transforming themselves. There is evidence, too, that men are dissatisfied because their own fathers were so unsuccessful in their emotional lives and were thus unable to impart to their sons a sense of love, belonging, and security that an increasing number of men say they sorely miss." -Found on the Internet When men do get in touch with their emotions it is often times too overwhelming for them. As they have not been 'taught' by other men about man's emotions they do not handle emotions well. They go from issue to issue; seek self-help philosophies one after the other; read selfhelp books; or placate with alcohol, drugs, hobby diversions, extreme sports, fighting, or sex addictions. Far more men commit suicide than women. In fact, suicide is the eighth leading cause of death for all men in the United States and the 19th leading cause of death for females. Overall, males are four times more likely to die from suicide than females. For instance, of the 30,622 documented suicides in 2001, 24,672 were males and 5,950 were females, white men more than black men. A whopping 73 percent of all suicide deaths in 2000 were white males! Could that be because the black woman still allows her man to be a man, and accepts him 100%? Because I would ration to guess that it isn't because black men just have an easier life than white men, wouldn't you? Additionally, it wouldn't have to do with numbers, because, according to the latest population consensus, whites are now the minority. Women attempt suicide three times more often than men, though, but men succeed four times more. The lower fatality rates for women may be attributed to the fact that women really don't want to die in as much as they want to be rescued and so therefore didn't use serious means as an attempt at suicide. Again, added proof that more and more women are

seeking 'attention' or 'someone to come to their rescue'. The pressure we place upon our men to be as a god is the major contributing factor to these statistics. Men have more demands placed on them than ever before. They have to compete in the workforce, not only with other men but now also with women, too. Yet come home and be all soft and in awe of those same women. They have to be successes; be protectors; be providers; achievers; be superstars and super-heroes; and knights in shining armor. They have to be financially successful. They must defend their country; support their families; take care of themselves or else be a burden on society and unworthy as a man; take care of their elderly; rescue their women; raise their children; protect their home; tough it out and not feel; be strong yet be gentle; don't give in; go it alone; be all that they can beand now, too, they must change the diapers; make the dinner; do the laundry; wash the dishes; and bake the bread. When taken into account all these factors may be an adequate enough reason for the alarming rate of suicide among our men. Back when women gave them their proper reign men's suicide rates were less. Male suicide rate in 1951 (men under the age of 35) was one third what it is today for the same age group. ONE-THIRD! That means that suicide for young men is today tripled what it was in 1951 when most women traditionally stayed home and took care of her husband and children, and let him be a man, whereas suicide rates for women of that age stayed pretty much about the same as they are today. In 1951 19 men (per 100,000) had committed suicide, as opposed to 47 (per 100,000) in 1986an increase of over 50% in just 35 years! Remarkably higher and far more alarmingyet unaddressed by today's society or unacknowledged as the growing problem that it is! A 2004 report from the US Department of Labor notes that 71% of women with children under the age of 18 are in the workforce. This is up 47% from 1975! One likely reason might be an increase in single-parent homes, and a higher cost of living. However, the basic point is that more and more women are competing with men in the work place, and less and less making them feel like Real Men at home.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 6
Men are Men, Women are Women. Deal With It!
Men suffer from never having enough downtime. They must work hard all day; compete for wages and job positions; commute long distances in heavy, burdensome traffic; then come home, do the 'dirtier' chores; help their wives; and then be there to give her 'her princess comforting and doting' or be told he is a failure and have her turn to someone else. They must work hard; compete; be strong; not let their guard down; turn the other way; get over it; rescue women; have harder abs; bigger penises; faster cars; make more money; buy their children $200 shoes; fix the roof; be more in tune to their emotions; cry; not cry; explore, discover, and find cures and solutions for everything in the world today.... "puff up their chests and stand their ground" Ironically, female's demands and subsequent higher power and more successesalong with an increase in male abuse and male belittlementhas had the effect of exacerbating a sense of disempowerment among men. Women today have been found to have a higher rate for perpetrating severe violence in their relationship. They are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive in general, to their husbands, than the men are to their wives. During domestic violence women may be more likely to receive injuries, yet more men are victimized by their wives than wives are by their husbands. Women, too, more often use weapons as an aggressive nature toward their partners. They may throw objects, threaten with weapons, as well as kicking, biting, hitting with a fist or open hand, or hitting with an object. For a truly honest look at female aggression in marriages please visit the article "An Enquiry Into The Adult Male Experience of Heterosexual Abuse", by Anne Lewis, M.A.found at http://www.ejfi.org

What the ?
"Life is challenging enough without collecting new things to be outraged about." ~Uberwife

Although psychologists say that we are making 'breakthroughs' with the communication problems between the sexes, what we are actually making is 'breakdowns'. We are creating a world where our communication with the opposite gender has become superficial, forced, and unnatural. We actually just reversed the self-serving expectations of man and woman over the last century, not made a breakthrough. A century ago, woman were expected to go over to the man's side and take care of his every want, whim, need, desire, and demandand she didn't like it one bit! Therefore she was never happy with him, and he was never faithful because he couldn't respect herno matter how hard she tried to gain his respect! Consequently - and very ironically, the Good Wife got cheated on with The Bad Girl because his wife's constant doting on him lead him to believe that everything was about satisfying him. But today, roles have reversed and mankind can now see how unrealistic it was to expect a woman to be as a man. Unfortunately, they now expect just the opposite: They expect a man to be as a woman. Women today expect the man to go against his own instincts and come over to the woman's side and take care of all her demands, wants, needs, or desiresas if he just naturally understood them and could do this with ease. "Let's just sit around and talk about our feelings, what's on Oprah, and the newest fashions...okay, honey?" The Nice Guy, though, mistakenly thinks that if he can do this he will get in her good graces. She should adore him for relating to her womanhood! But she doesn't. Therefore he is never happy with her, and she is leaving him for the Bad Boy because he just doesn't seem 'manly' to her anymore. And he doesn't like it one bit! As a noteand just to further illustrate how damaged women have become in their beliefs is the fact that they expect men to be mannerly with them. Pull my chair out, open the door for me, carry my books, light my cigarette...all making them appear to be both physically and psychologically weaker than men. Well, doesn't this translate to 'less capable' than men? What women have long surmised as man's respect for her, actually may be his disrespect for her capabilities. We need to form a clearer understanding of each gender, a clearer acceptance of each gender, become more self-sufficient, and be more deeply committed and true to our own gender's characteristics; tendencies; needs; wants; and desires. A man only knows how to be a man. A woman only knows how to be a woman. How delightful that those

two opposites can become so complementary to each other. Let's keep it that way! Let's teach our offspring that each gender only knows how to be who they are, and, instead of changing them, let's try to accept that part of them and embrace it with love, understanding, and respect. Men cannot be as a woman as much as a day cannot be as a night and a dog cannot be as a cat! So all you Nice Guys out there that think you are giving the woman what she wants by being more in tune to her wants and needs, listen up! Stop being a Cinderfella and get back to those manly roots. Feel that Real Man that is in there, the one that has been stifled by so-called relationship 'experts', and Mom's little teachings, and be the man that you were meant to be. "Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here'." ~Steven Wright

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 6
Men are Men, Women are Women. Deal With It!
It's a Dog's World
"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career." ~Gloria Steiner A dog's whole world is as big as his backyard. He has no concept of 'beyond the backyard'. There is no planet, round or flat. There are no stars. No solar systems. No wars in the Middle East. There aren't shopping malls, and airports, and cruise ships. There aren't mountains and valleys, oceans and seas. There aren't back roads and toll roads. There is only his backyard. To the dog, the whole world consists of just this backyard. Women, being the emotionally drawn inward beings that they are, can liken the way they see their world to the Dog World concept. Real Men see the big picture that is life, women see the man. That's why there is a limit that Real Men have on the amount of closeness they can tolerate. Closeness places immediate boundaries up in his world, as his world isn't all about her. This boundary gives him only the backyard. And he will struggle with this boundary because he can see beyond the backyard. Woman needs to get herself out of the backyard, or just plain reason and rationalize that her man is not going to be able to contently join her there. And if he did turn into a Nice Guy and join her in the backyard she would be bored to death with him by the second day! Women need to close their Cosmo's and open their eyes to the world around them. Stop talking about Friends and Dr. Phil, and start talking about space exploration, environmental issues, and the war on terrorism. Stop painting their nails and wiggling their butts and actually get up and do something for the good of mankind. Women need to transfer their wounded selves to ones of understanding and receptiveness. They need to analyze their own needs more and see how they can possibly deal with them on their own. They need to get out of the backyard and fix

themselves. They need to...

....stop putting so many expectations on their relationship partners to 'fix' their brokenness.
WANTED: Lively humorous man who could bring joy to my gloomy days and save me from a lifetime of depression. It's time for some women to retreat a bit, give up their self-serving attitudes and think about visiting the other side, the man's side, every now and then. Women's current preoccupation with emotional intimacy isn't normal1 nor healthy, yet society keeps encouraging her to seek out ways to give into and satisfy her excessive needs for closeness, connectivity, and emotional intimacy. Society should be teaching woman to understand and deal with her needsand not to let them overrule her sense of right from wrong, desire from necessity. Our culture should focus more on teaching women to feel good about themselves, and to respect themselves, and less on teaching them to bat their eyes and then lean upon their intimate relationships as a solution to all their brokenness. When she consistently focuses solely on her relationship to fulfill her, she ends up demanding too much out of intimacy, and placing too much of a load on her partnerone that can never be filled except in her selfimposed fairy tale. A woman, unknowingly, unfairlyand ignorantlyexpects her mate to be her best friend, her lover, her knight, her supporter, her care giver, her protector, her father, her brother, her son, her playmate, her bodyguard, her provider, her punching bag, her nurse, her hero, her defender, her complaint box, her repairman, her crutch, her speaker, her chauffeur, her janitor, her stud, her companion, her worshipper, her mechanic, her nurturer, her slayer of dragons, her therapist, her mirror, her toy, her slave. Gimme a break! She expects him to be everything but himselfa man. When is a man allowed to be a man anymore - except when he is a 'Bad Boy', an asshole, or a 'Jerk'? Why can't we allow men to be Real Men without them having to be outlaws or jerks or assholes to get away with it? Yes, if Nice Guys were to finally live true to the man inside of them they may appear to be Bastards to the women who want to control them, but the women will be much happier with them, guaranteed. So, if being a Bastard is what it takes to make her happy, and to make you happy, so be

it! A woman who has realistic expectations... a woman who is looking for a solid man, and a woman who can accept him for being a man, and doing as a man... a woman who can understand and therefore better deal with her own wants, is bound to be happier in her relationship than a damsel looking for a Knight to fix her brokenness and then dumping him because real Knights don't fix broken women except in fairy tales. A man only knows how to be a man. Accept it. Love him for who he is, right or wrong. "Women shouldn't base their love and faithfulness on the condition that he 'fulfill her fantasy', because if he were to do that she would lose respect in him as a man."~Tigress Luv Only when man reverts back to his roots and steps once again back into his 'manly' shoes, will the focus go back to him again. This is when women will finally learn that not every thing is about her. This is when women will finally take the focus off of 'her' and start to be happy. We currently have the Bad Boys who walk in their own gender's roots, and we can have Real Men do this, too. Real Men aren't really Bastards, but they do behave as a man once did before woman and society tried to demasculinize him.
1. Although emotional intimacy is normal for women, a 'preoccupation' with it isn't.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 7
Opposites Truly Do Attract!
Nice Guys somehow (whether they admit it or not) are just not totally in tune or in touch with their male-primal-roots. They have been so domesticated by women throughout time, societal pressure, and Mars and Venus books, that they have completely buried their real desires and natural instincts. They have become suppressed as men... well, all but a select few have... ....I watch the women in clubs. They get up on the dance floor with other women, and perform their 'seductive' dance... their mating ritual. They are showing off their figure eights: wider hips to bear children, ample breasts to feed the offspring. Are men buying it? You betcha! They're instinctively buying right into it. On the other hand, the men don't get up and dance with each other, because they don't need to do that cat call. They are playing out their mating rituals at the bar buying drinks (I have money, can support a family and give you a home), flexing muscles (I am strong and can hunt and protect), and posturing in unyielding stances (I have power and resistance). If any women were to go talk to these men, they would show a strong, sexual interest in the woman, but not a romantic interest. They remain 'resistant' to giving their hearts away, resistant to losing themselves. Resistant to her in all ways but one. Sexual. Are women buying into it? You bet your sweet resistant buns they are! They're instinctively buying right into it. While the women are up there on the dance floor performing their mating rituals and swaying the 'do-me, do-me' dance, the men are watching from the bar roostering out 'my-cock-will-do' calls. This is fact. Go to a club. Watch. Listen. Learn. The Mating Ritual is as old as man, and will always be around. And it still works to this day.

There used to be an old line in a commercial that went, "If you want him to be more of a man, try being more of a woman." Well, I'm changing this slogan just a little. Here is a slogan you should live by: "If you want her to be more like your woman, trying being more of a man." Opposites attract and compliment each other. Always keep that in mind if you want to shed the Nice Guy role and feel your manly roots!

OPPOSITES ATTRACT CHART


MALE ENERGY
strong disciplined loud indomitable impassive challenging brash discordant harsh impervious audacious soft lenient quiet subdued emotional amiable sweet melodic easy sensitive humble

FEMALE ENERGY

worthy bold aggressive assertive privileged surly coarse resistant defiant lascivious public unsympathetic

needy blushing passive meek discriminated mild gentle conforming compliant chaste domestic nurturing

Next we sum up this book with the Three Golden Rules you need to live

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 7
Opposites Truly Do Attract! Opposites Attract
Let's sum this book up with these Three Golden Rules.
1. No matter how 'compatible' or 'harmonious' it may sound, she really doesn't want a man that is equally keyed to her; in touch with her; or who thinks that he will make her like him better by being more in tune with her womanhood, her needs, her wants, and her emotions 2. No matter how 'assuring' it may seem, she really doesn't want a man that shows romantic interest over - or instead of - sexual interest 3. No matter how 'pleasing' he thinks it would be for her, she really doesn't want a man that doesn't show 'resistance' to her efforts to change him "Thank you for allowing me the honor of being in your presence, your Highness."~source unknown

Golden Rule One: No matter how 'compatible' or 'harmonious' it may sound, she really doesn't want a man that is equally keyed to her; in touch with her; or who thinks that he will make her like him better by being more in tune with her womanhood, her needs, her wants, and her emotions
There are far too many relationship 'experts' (humph!) out there who think relationships should be formed in a logical way instead of in a 'natural' way. The last few decades have brought about many new concepts for bridging the gap in gender differences. There is a shithouse full of 'experts' (with so-called communication theories) explaining to men that relating to women on their own level is a good idea. These 'experts' are so full of BS that they don't know which end to put down when the toilet seat comes up! Books trying to mesh the gender barrier and bring a new 'enlightening' to

the other gender (in order to relate to them better and make them happier) are complete and utter BS! Women and Men were far happier with each other before we found out we were from different planets and were told to speak in Martian and Venusian languages in order to 'appease' our fellow planet mates. It is absolutely decremental to our relationships when we listen to this garbage about how each gender differs - and how we can better relate to each other by trying to understand the genderinity makeup of our mates. Again, BS! (OK, I'm done with my Venusian 'bitching'. *wink*) This misinformation has subsequently left Nice Guys to believe that if they can 'relate' to her world; 'match' or 'sympathize' to how she feels and sees life; and show her that he 'understands' and even possibly feels similar emotions about things - that it will somehow 'endear' him to her. In truth, it comes off as having more of a female energy than a male energy. Because men just aren't naturally like that. Ironically, it's the men who are ignorant doofuses and that say and do insensitive things to women that are far more endearing. As women we know he doesn't mean to be rude, or insensitive - but rather that he is just thinking and acting as a male. A classic example of this are the two male characters, Tim Taylor, on Home Improvement, and Coach Hayden Fox on the Coach show. It seems these two characters are always saying or doing the wrong thing to their women. Yet their female counterparts, although often hurt or offended, are hopelessly in love with these adorable 'men'. Trust me, mirroring and mimicking, 'relating to' and 'understanding' someone of the opposite sex isn't as flattering as the experts claim!

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 7
Opposites Truly Do Attract!
Golden Rule One: Continued
How a Nice Guy Effeminizes Himself In a mixed-gender conversation Nice Guys have the tendency to 'accommodate' their conversation style to fit that of the woman that they are interacting with. That is, a Nice Guy may tend to speak with a woman in a polite and empathic way, rather than in a more manly matter. Men and women differ drastically in their conversation style. For instance:

Men usually use 'questions' as a direct and genuine request for information, whereas women usually asked questions as a way of gaining the attention of the person or group of people she is conversing with. (Nice Guys think they are gaining her attention by asking her questions about herself. Actually, they are unconsciously emitting a more feminine conversation demeanor, rather than a manly one.) Women tend to talk at length about one topic, but men tend to jump from topic to topic. Men tend to change the subject more frequently than women, and women can talk on and on about the subject long after a man has 'moved on' to another. (Nice Guys think they are being respectable gentlemen by listening to her rant on and on about her this, or her that. Actually, they are unconsciously emitting a more feminine conversation demeanor, rather than a manly one.) Women tend to be more revealing and inclined toward selfdisclosure and sharing their personal problems and experiences (sometimes to gain, and sometimes to give, sympathy), while men tend to be non-self disclosing, and more offering of advice rather than sympathy when confronted with anothers problems. (Nice Guys think they are being respectable gentlemen by being sympathetic and understanding to her woes, and by offering selfdisclosing information on himself in return. Actually, they are unconsciously emitting a more feminine conversation demeanor, rather than a manly one.)

Men, on a whole, are more verbally aggressive, often using threats, profanities, yelling and name-calling, in conversations. (Nice Guys think they are being respectable gentlemen by omitting such 'foulness' or 'coarseness' while in her ladylike's presence. Actually, they are unconsciously emitting a more feminine conversation demeanor, rather than a manly one.)

Nice Guys tend to listen intently to what the woman is saying, whereas in studies of female-male conversations, men interrupted frequently with non-related or off-subject topics or comments. Listening too intently and staying on one subject is not masculine to her, but more construed to be like talking to her female friends. Additionally, it makes her focus on herself more, and, if she is talking about another man, it forces her to give even more power to the other man. By not wanting to hear and 'learn' about her, and by showing a purely sexual or physical attraction to her, you are making her shift her focus of attention off of herself and the other man, and on to you. Other conversation style differences in the two genders:

Women are more likely to have positive facial expressions when engaged in conversation, whereas men are more likely to display negative facial expressions. Females are more inclined to face each other and make eye contact when talking, while males are more likely to look away from each other. When listening, women make more noises such as hmmm, "aw" and oh, while men are more likely to listen silently. When a man does make short noises, it is usually in agreement with what the other person is saying, rather than in sympathetic, or empathetic response. Women are inclined to express agreement and support, while men are more inclined to debate. Women show greater concern about family and home life issues, while men express more concern about political and worldly issues and less about family. In general, men are happier with their family life and more optimistic about their personal future and that of their children. Women prefer feeling conversations and men prefer thinking conversations. In other words, women prefer to converse on subjects that will make them feel, and men prefer subjects that make them think. In conversations men are more likely to systematize (the desire to analyze and explore systems and rules) and women are more likely

to empathize. Men tend to talk more than women in public situations, but women tend to talk more than men at home.

In other words, the more he has deep emotionally-connecting conversations with her the more she sees him as one of her (female) 'friends'. Men are noted for their short, quick conversations - the cut-tothe-chase stuff - and women are noted for their deep-feeling ramblings and relatings. To counteract this man-woman conversation obstacle - and to become the Bastard that every woman loves, and the Bastard that you really are - you have to connect back to your Real Man instincts. You are not a therapist, a nursemaid, a complaint box, or a punching bag. You are a man! "It's so hard to find a 'family-guy'; all the sensitive ones get eaten." From the movie, Ice Age

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 7
Opposites Truly Do Attract!
Golden Rule Two: No matter how 'assuring' it may seem, she really doesn't want a man that shows romantic interest over or instead of sexual interest
The more men try to adapt their behavior to fit within society's rules of how they should and should not be, the more uncomfortable they become, and the more unattractive they are to their female counterpart. Take for instance a healthy, young man's high sex drive. The more he subdues it, the more frustrated he becomes. Men will resort to 'gentlemen's clubs'; prostitutes; pornography; fantasy; excessive masturbation; and even homosexuality to try and satisfy their strong sexual cravings - or rather, their natural instinct to 'procreate'. Women are sexual creatures themselves, but do not have as strong a sexual drive, but rather more of a drive to 'reach connectivity' with a man. The reason why her sexual urges are not as strong has to do with nature and biology. A woman produces only one egg per month, whereas a man carries millions of tiny sperm that are produced daily. Additionally, the woman is only fertile for a few days each month, while a man is fertile every minute, of every day of the month. Now, once the reproduction act is done the woman now has a nine month gestation period, followed by a few years of lactation - now that's a good two-four years where she is logically not ready to be bred again, whereas the male can move on to breed again in a matter of minutes. It's only logical that with the woman's higher investment that she would have a significantly higher expectation and consequencing selectiveness in whom she chooses to mate with. This puts the male in a highly competitive position with other males. Hence the reason why there are so many, many hyped up books for men on how to get laid (and let's not forget those bar fights *grinning*). Whereas a man just wants to get laid, she is trying to 'connect' on a deeper personal level. This is both his (to procreate) and her (to connect) natural instincts. Now take that very woman and make her just a 'gotta get

laid now' chick. Sure, because you want to 'procreate' you will maybe bed her...but do you want her after that? NO! Because she wasn't how a woman should be. A woman should be more selective. On the other hand, take the man and make him an 'I just want to connect emotionally' guy. Sure, because she wants connectivity she may connect to him (and talk her heart out) at that moment, but she won't want him after that! Why? Because he isn't how she thinks a man should be. A man should be more sexual. Again, Nice Guys somehow (whether they admit it or not) are just not totally in tune or in touch with their natural male-primal-roots. They have been so domesticated by women, societal pressure, and Mars and Venus books, that throughout time they have completely - but most likely subconsciously - buried their real male feelings, urges, instincts, characteristics, desires, and traits. Add to this they mistakenly think that if they can relate to a woman on her level that he will be pleasing to her. Unfortunately, to relate to a woman on her level, you have to become as a woman. This makes the Nice Guy unattractive as a mate to the woman. She may like him as a friend, treat him as a brother, enjoy his company, and love his sense of humor, but she still doesn't view him as 'mate' material, or as a Real Man. "He's too gentle in bed. It's almost smothering. I wish he'd just take me like a man should."~found online

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 7
Opposites Truly Do Attract!
Golden Rule Two: Continued
Our Behavioral Instincts: According to Wikipedia, "instinct" is the inherent disposition of a living organism toward a particular behavior. Our instincts can be altered by heredity, general conditioning and environment. Our "subconscious mind" is considered to be the deepest level of consciousness - consciousness that individuals are not directly aware of, such as our primeval instincts, but that of which still affects our conscious behavior. Talcott Parsons Talcott Parsons was for many years the best-known sociologist in the United States, and indeed one of the best-known in the world. His views of gender roles in 1955 produced this model below. It was used to illustrate positions on gender roles. Model A describes the traditional role of male and female (total separation of roles), whereas Model B describes the complete disintegration of barriers between gender roles Model A - Total role Model B - Total disintegration segregation of roles Gender-specific education; Co-educative schools, same high professional content of classes for girls and Education qualification is important boys, same qualification for only for the man men and women. The workplace is not the For women, career is just as primary area of women; important as for men; Therefore Profession career and professional equal professional opportunities advancement is deemed for men and women are unimportant for women necessary. Housekeeping and child care are the primary All housework is done by both Housework functions of the woman; parties to the marriage in equal participation of the man in shares. these functions is only

Decision making

Child care and education

partially wanted. In case of conflict, man has the last say, for example in choosing the place to live, choice of school for children, buying decisions Woman takes care of the largest part of these functions; she educates children and cares for them in every way

Man cannot dominate over woman; solutions do not always follow the principle of finding a concerted decision; this may lead to separate vacations or living in different apartments. Man and woman share these functions equally.

Biologically based on male and female humans, traditionally our instincts dictated our gender roles. For instance, women choose to be housewives more often than men choose to be 'househusbands' themselves, or taking on a more domestic role. Where it is scientifically suggested that biology is the major factor in this choice, today's feminists argue this and say that it is the result of socially constructed gender roles. Translation: they claim that it isn't instinctual but rather decided by societal pressure. Janet Chafetz (Gender Equity: An Integrated Theory of Stability and Change) described seven areas of traditional male behavior: 1. Physical behavior: Virile, athletic, strong, brave. Unconcerned about appearance and aging 2. Functional behavior: Breadwinner, provider 3. Sexual behavior: Sexually aggressive, experienced. Single status acceptable 4. Emotional behavior: Unemotional, stoic 5. Intellectual behavior: Logical, intellectual, rational, objective, practical 6. Interpersonal behavior: Leader, dominating; disciplinarian; independent, individualistic (applies to western societies) 7. Other Personal Characteristics and Behavior: Success-oriented, ambitious; proud, egotistical (applies to some societies); moral, trustworthy; decisive, competitive, uninhibited, adventurous Whereas social scientists Deborah David and Robert Brannon give the following four rules for establishing masculinity: 1. No Sissy Stuff: Anything that even remotely hints of femininity is prohibited. A real man must avoid any behavior or characteristic associated with women

2. Be a Big Wheel: Masculinity is measured by success, power, and the admiration of others. One must possess wealth, fame, and status to be considered manly 3. Be a Sturdy Oak: Manliness requires rationality, toughness, and self-reliance. A man must remain calm in any situation, show no emotion, and admit no weakness 4. Give 'em Hell: Men must exude an aura of daring and aggression, and must be willing to take risks, to "go for it" even when reason and fear suggest otherwise

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 7
Opposites Truly Do Attract!
Golden Rule Two: Continued
Every where you look these days you see bogus experts telling people what women want. Well, these experts are thinking that mankind is based on the concepts of the 'Golden Rule' (do unto others...) and not like real, true biological life. In fact, I put in the sentence "what women really want' in the Alta Vista search engine and came back with 132,000,000 results! And I bet 99% of them are wrong. Women don't want men that live by the Golden Rule when it comes to relationships, unless of course their 'do unto others' part of the Golden Rule is "I will be as a man and treat her as a woman - as I would want her to be as a woman and treat me like a man", and not "I will treat her like I would want to be treated if I were a woman".

Women say they Primal women really want want


Some empathy is needed, but if a man were to be a caring, empathic as empathetic as a woman he would have never man been able to kill his first prey, to feed his family, to let the weaker die in order to save the stronger. a man who understands her a man who takes care of her every need In order for a man to be able to understand women, he would have to think and be as a woman. Primal women want a man that trusts and respects his woman enough to have faith in her that she can take care of herself. She appreciates his confidence in her abilities.

His doing his male duties is appreciation enough for her doing her female duties. Women know how hard men work, and the hours of labor that are often to feel appreciated required, along with the pressure and hardships associated with providing for the family. She doesn't respect him if he is too grateful to her, because that then places the 'power' over to her.

to feel heard a gentle man

A resistant man who disallows her efforts to change him into whom she thinks he should be. A strong man who can fight off enemies and hunt and kill for food, and not succumb to attempts at weakening his spirit.

a man's undivided Female friends (the harem) to relate to and empathize with on female issues. attention A man who successfully can systemize what's comprehending to needed for survival, and not empathize or break her feelings down his tough protective shield, is a man who makes her feel safe and womanly. generosity Women don't want a man that is too generous. She needs a selfish man because instinctively this tells her that all his worldly goods will go to benefit the nest, and not others. Sexual interest. She wants a man that is sexually attracted, not romantically attracted. He must respect himself too much to give his heart over to just anybody. A man who has a strong, physical attraction to her and let's her know this, excites her as a woman and brings out her femininity.

romance

a gentle, considerate lover

To counteract your Nice Guy ways, and become the Bastard that every woman loves, you need to get back connected to your primal male instincts. This tactic has nothing to do with playing games, or going against your natural instincts, or playing roles, or being a jerk. It means feeling your real, natural self. Your male self. In fact, it actually will feel good to allow all those suppressed male urges and impulses and instinctive characteristics - your true make-up - to surface and flourish. See, deep down inside she doesn't want a man to act in a connective way, or to be romantically interested in her. This doesn't make her feel like a real woman. In fact, this makes her feel like she holds 'power' over him. No, what she really wants is a man to think she is physically sexy, alluring, exciting, and luscious enough to have to bed now. You may think that by showing a more romantic interest in her you are giving her what she wants, but by being more romantically interested in her and less sexually interested in her you are basically telling her two things:

1. That you don't respect yourself enough to be more particular about whom you give your heart to. Remember that she needs to work hard for your heart, in order to respect you as a man! 2. You are telling her that you deem her 'good enough material' to be a mother to your children, but not attractive enough material to captivate your primal desire. Translation: you are making her feel unattractive and 'motherly'. Speed Dating - The Quicker Picker Upper... In the real world the hunter had to compete big time to gain the woman's 'sexual' surrender. He had only a certain amount of time to seduce her before a better male came along and won the damsel's treasured egg. This 'whirlwind' courtship didn't include long, sympathetic connections and well-meaning inquiries into whom she was and how much he wanted to get to know her better.

Why Women Love Bastards

Section 7
Opposites Truly Do Attract!
Golden Rule Three: No matter how 'pleasing' he thinks it would be for her, she really doesn't want a man that doesn't show 'resistance' to her efforts to change him
Found Online: "Romantic love makes demands. It has to be made safe and made to feel "special". It allows one person to control and manipulate the needs, including sexual needs, of another person. It implies a "we" that simply does not exist in objective reality." "Few people privy to Primal Theory appreciate its sequential dynamics. Breaching the defense system in therapy to gain access to feelings is just the beginning. Every primal neurotic is constantly reconfiguring his or her own defense system to accommodate the new reality created by their primals." "Human relationships in society are seen as the means by which mans basic instincts and nature are repressed. Here, Freud aptly argued that such forms of repression or suppression were essential for the existence of society. In a sense, basic drives are repressed, diverted and developed in such a way that an individual comes to act in accordance with the structural needs of the society in which he lives. These socially patterned drives are often completely fastened within the unconscious areas of the ego and an individual is not aware of them. As such man is not free and social codes determine his actions."

Resistance - Ah, the Magic 'Bastard' Word


You need to remain adamantly resistant to your lady's efforts to change you, fix you, or save you. The person who holds the 'power' in a relationship is the person who remains 'resistant' to the other party, and who gives the least to the relationship. This is worth repeating - boldly! "The person who holds the 'power' in a relationship is the person who remains 'resistant' to the other party,

and who gives the least to the relationship." Bastards are infamous for their resistance to the woman's efforts at changing him, and equally infamous for not giving too much to the relationship. You can be the Bastard that every woman wants simply by remaining resistant to 'change'. If you want to be happy, be. -Leo Tolstoy, Russian novelist But remember you can't fake resistance - I mean, that would get old pretty fast, don't you think? However, if you can get back in touch with your primal male instincts - you know, those instincts that have been subdued and buried for years - then resistance should come fairly naturally. With resistance you gain her admiration and respect. You also gain her undivided attention; you'll become more attractive; you'll capture her admiration; and she'll become hopelessly attached to you. She will stop focusing only on herself and shift all of her attention to you, and you will have all the power in the relationship, and over her. Resistance is formed in a man with self-confidence, and self-confidence is one of the sexiest attributes a man can possess. Once you allow yourself to be a man again, a Real Man, not the kind society tries to push on you, you will start to feel a new found peace come over you. Yes, it's okay to be a man, and by being the man that has been hidden and stifled inside of you all these years, you will soon see that your self-confidence level will increase a hundred-fold. Think selfdom, selfhood, complexity, self-connection, primal reconnection, and natural male instincts for the true Bastard - that Real, Primal Man - to truly emerge and become the man that every woman loves. For all those who have read umpteen books and ebooks on what you can do to become the man that women want, let me tell you that the secret to becoming the man a woman wants lies not in your 'doing' - but rather in your BEING. There is nothing you do to become a man... the way to become a man is to be a man.

"This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."

Why Women Love Bastards

BONUS SECTION

How To Be A Bastard Quick-Start Guide: How to Become the Bastard that Women Love in 10 Easy Steps.
STEP ONE GET BACK IN TOUCH WITH YOUR INNATE MALENESS.
Be as a man. Do as a man. Think as a man. Book review found online: "We are living in a society where men are criticized for being men. We, as men, just sit back and listen to what people say about us. We sometimes even let them walk over us. Reading this book is going to give you the power to say "STOP.""

The men today, known by some as 'the soft male' are not in touch with their true masculine DNA. They have been shaped and formed and subdued to the point where their true manhood is suppressed even to themselves. The lack of manliness in today's males are the result of four things: 1. For the most part in today's world more and more boys are being raised in homes with an absent father, or a father that isn't available or is too distant 2. The lack of a coming of age, or 'male initiation rites' which most cultures prescribe in at about the age of 12, is not evident in our culture. Men are not praised for becoming a man, and haven't any benefit of a rite of passage into manhood 3. The Feminist Movement which has taken away man's only place left to be a man, and made him an 'equal' that must share his power with women, and often times even lose his power to women 4. The influx of Self-help and Relationship Advice books and 'experts' that are erroneously teaching the wrong message of effective communication between the sexes. I.E., to notice the feminine side of the world and to learn how to relate to it, understand it, feel it,

and get involved in it on its level is not natural to a man. Nor should it be. Before we knew it men were being instructed to become more in touch with - and in tune to - the 'gentle side' of life Unlike the many, many 'no more mr. nice guy' books, the answer to the unconscious loss of man's manliness is not to become more aggressive. Sheesh! What some 'lead-me-by-the-nose' Nice Guys will believe! Let me tell you, there are some really aggressive Nice Guys, and they still score a big, fat ZERO on a woman's "gotta have" list. Aggression has nothing to do with being a Real Man, and is not the answer to becoming the Bastard that women love! The true way to get back in touch with your innate maleness is to look deep inside and feel the heat of your primal ancestors and your male DNA. Examine other men and look for the qualities you see in them that you feel are very male-like qualities. EXERCISE: Make a list of ten men that you look up to as being pure, raw, all man. Decide what male-like qualities you like about these men - what makes you feel like they are true men, in touch with their maleness - and try to emulate or bring out these 'natural' qualities in yourself. Try to reach deepdown inside yourself and pull these buried and suppressed, but 'inherent' behaviors back out. Next make another list of ten men that you may consider to be good men, or even physically reeking of masculinity, but not necessarily a man's man - pure, raw, and all male. What is the difference between these two lists of men that would make them stand apart, one from the other? I have taken the liberty to come up with my own list of ten pure, raw, all male type of men - some of the names may simply be an actor's 'character', some as they are in real life, some as the persona they emit. I then made a list of ten men that I may admire as being good men or strong men, but not necessarily the type of man that would make me want to be with them more and more and more.

My List
Considered Real Men
1. John Wayne

The Qualities That Makes Them Stand Out as Real Men


Inflexible, unyielding, unwilling to

2. Kurt Russell 3. Clint Eastwood 4. Troy Aikman 5. Sean Connery 6. General Patton 7. Brett Favre 8. Eisenhower 9. Johnny Cash 10. Ted Danson's character 'Dr. John Becker' on Becker

change to suit others, stubbornly and adamantly set in their ways, disobedient, uncompromising, defiant, surety, constant, uncompliant, rigid, undomesticated, fixed, confident, given to action, leaders TRANSLATION: RESISTANT

Considered Nice Guys


1. Rick Moranis 2. Jerry Seinfield 3. Paul Reiser 4. Don Knotts 5. Arnold Schwarzenegger 6. Adam Sandler 7. David Spade 8. Jim Carrey 9. Richard Nixon 10. Barry Manilow

The Qualities That Keeps Them From Standing Out as Real Men
Flexible, yielding, transformable, adjustable, accommodating, governable, cautious, uncertainty, wavering, conforming, acquiescent, refined, changeable, peoplepleaser, given to reaction, followers TRANSLATION: COMPLIANT

Get to know the man in you, and love that man. Let no person, male or female, nor societal pressure, change that man in you.

Why Women Love Bastards

BONUS SECTION

How To Be A Bastard Quick-Start Guide: How to Become the Bastard that Women Love in 10 Easy Steps.
STEP TWO

DON'T GIVE YOUR HEART AWAY


Bastards may have a lot of dates, but they value themselves waaay too much to just let any woman own their heart. They are far more choosy over what women will share their life with them, as they only have one life to live. Bastards take their time, making this a wise choice, with a tremendous amount of deliberation and forethought. Many Nice Guys make the mistake of being too romantically interested in a woman too soon, or too early in the relationship. Before the third date they already are having fantasies of her behind the stove and in labor, bearing his children. Real Men are very, very picky about whom the woman is that will get that honorable place in his heart... a place that is specially reserved for only one woman! And not that many women are going to be able to fill his high demands in a long-term partner. He may date many women along the way, but never truly gives his heart away that fast or easily. He knows that he deserves the BEST woman there is to carry on his genes with, and he remains very self-valuing enough to not make too hasty a choice in prospective mates.

Why Women Love Bastards

BONUS SECTION

How To Be A Bastard Quick-Start Guide: How to Become the Bastard that Women Love in 10 Easy Steps
STEP THREE

TAKE HER OFF THAT PEDESTAL


Attraction shouldn't mean reverence, and longing shouldn't mean exaltation. Womanly beauty is commonplace, not something that has dropped down from the heavens. Femininity and sweetness are complimentary to the male energy, but that doesn't mean it is emitting from a supreme goddess. Women are not awesome, divine beings with cashmere gossamer wings and golden wands and halos, so stop bowing down in subservient awe of them. Bastards do not idolize, honor, or stand in veneration to the deitywoman. They know women are people. Men are people. Both are from Earth. They deal with it.

Why Women Love Bastards

BONUS SECTION

How To Be A Bastard Quick-Start Guide: How to Become the Bastard that Women Love in 10 Easy Steps
STEP FOUR

DON'T BECOME AS A WOMAN


Allow her to be a woman, but don't twist yourself into a pretzel to try to understand and relate to her on her level. Forget all the so-called 'expert' relationship advice you have gotten and all the self-help books you have read, and purge every Oprah and Dr. Phil show memory that you may have stored in your brain's database. Contrary to popular belief women really don't want a man that understands them, makes cute little sympathetic sighing noises as she rambles on and on, or changes his manly ways and learns how to grow a flower garden because she likes flowers. She doesn't want a man who runs the water while he pisses lest she hears his tinkling noise and becomes offended, and she especially doesn't want a man that can sit there for hours and talk about feelings and who's cheating who. She also doesn't want a man that holds her hand while flitting through every store in the mall, dutifully carrying her bags and packages or meekly trailing behind her as she picks up one item after another... "oh, isn't this dress just so 'cute'...? Millie has one similar to it, you know? Oh, and did I tell you what Millie told me about Linda? Well! It seems that Linda was at Eva's place the other night and she told Judy that Bill had gone down to Mike's and..." She doesn't want too much equal power in her relationships, and she, especially, doesn't want the higher power (even though she thinks she does, she will lose respect for a man that gives it to her). And if she needs someone who understands her as a woman let her call her girlfriends, as you just can't do that! She also doesn't want little love letters left out for her to swoon over -

unless he has screwed up. In that case, a love (apology) letter then gives her the hope that she is making some headway or advancement in her pre-programmed efforts to 'change' him. This keeps her hooked to him. So men, make sure that you do carry out those little manly screw ups (like being insensitive) now and then so you can be all humble and apologetic :) ... you don't want to be too perfect, but you do want her to think that she's making some progress at reforming you into a woman!

Why Women Love Bastards

BONUS SECTION

How To Be A Bastard Quick-Start Guide: How to Become the Bastard that Women Love in 10 Easy Steps
STEP FIVE

NICE GUYS REACT, REAL MEN ACT


Take inventory of yourself by taking note of your actions and reactions. What does this mean? For the next day or two every time you talk to someone, read something, are touched by something, or relate to something I want you to be aware of how you normally would react and then I want you to reach way down deep inside of your manhood and see how you naturally should act. The first thing you would normally do in any situation is to react - this is what you have habitually been trained to do throughout your life. You are taught to 'behave' (react) in a certain way to certain situations. Now, what I want you to do is to STOP and reach deep down into your male DNA and feel the natural action that your manhood feels. This is the real you. The man in you. You must become aware of the difference between your reactions (fake, learned unconscious and automatic responses) and your actions (real, natural thinking responses). When you become more in tune with your basic natural actions you will become more in touch with your manhood. Here's a real basic 'for instance' of what I am talking about: let's just say that a coworker asks a Nice Guy to do 'such and such' favor for him or her and the Nice Guy's automated reaction would be to jump up and do it. Now if that same coworker tells a Bastard to do a favor for them the Bastard will weigh the advantages and disadvantages of doing such a favor, and make a judgment on his action based on the outcome of this thought process. He may decide to do it, he may decide not to do it, but he still 'acted' instead of reacted. A Bastard knows how to say no.

Remember that in every situation the Nice Guy 'reacts' and the Real Man 'acts'. The more you practice this the more natural your manly actions will become, and the less frequently your Nice Guy reactions will make you look weak or make you feel walked on and taken advantage of.

Why Women Love Bastards

BONUS SECTION

How To Be A Bastard Quick-Start Guide: How to Become the Bastard that Women Love in 10 Easy Steps
STEP SIX

GET BACK IN TOUCH WITH YOUR SEXUAL SIDE


Don't try to hide or cover up your sexuality, but rather go with it. This doesn't mean become a rapist or sexual deviate! This just means when you find a woman sexually attractive, don't hesitate to let her know (in a non-crude way, of course!). Now, this also doesn't mean walking up to your coworker and pinching her butt while saying, "hey, baby, I wanna do you". Oh no! Not at all. That would land you in jail and unemployed. In fact, don't practice any kind of sexual conduct or misconduct at the workplace! Ever! However, by simply sweeping over her body with your eyes, cocking your head and nodding appreciatively, or making the first move in bed and being more sexually aggressive or assertive in bed, you are showing your woman that you are sexually attracted to her and that makes her feel more like a woman and view you as more of a man.

Why Women Love Bastards

BONUS SECTION

How To Be A Bastard Quick-Start Guide: How to Become the Bastard that Women Love in 10 Easy Steps
STEP SEVEN

MALE ENERGY IS OPPOSITE FEMALE ENERGY


Men were meant to physically procreate, and women were meant to emotionally connect. Be leery of too much connectivity in your relationships, because connectivity does not come naturally to a man and can be viewed as a feminine trait by women. Men tend to be more disassociated, and not as connective and bonding as women. When a man is too revealing and connective he loses a lot of his male mystique and intrigue, and stops being a challenge to the woman. Always think in terms of the female energy being as a synonym and your male energy as an antonym to it. A good rule of thumb to remember is that whatever female energy she emits, a male energy should be opposite of. The antonyms to bond are 'unstick', detach, disassociate, let go, separate, avert, repulse. The antonyms for interconnection are contradiction, opposition, partiality, apathy, indifference, and moderation. Study this guide below, and see if you can relate more to the man or the woman. If you see any of your normal actions tending to be more like that of a woman try to make a conscious effort to readjust them back to your natural manly DNA.

Body Language

Men They take up more physical space when sitting or standing, with arms and legs stretched out away from their body They gesture away from the body They assume more reclined positions when sitting and lean backward when listening They are not as sensitive to the communication cues of others

Women They take up less physical space, sitting with arms and legs toward their body

They gesture toward the body They assume more forward positions when sitting and lean forward when listening They have greater sensitivity and acuity toward other people's nonverbal communication cues They do not approach men as closely in terms of their personal space

They tend to approach women more closely in terms of their personal space

Facial Expressions
Men They tend to cock their head to the side and look at the other person from an angle when listening They provide fewer facial expressions in feedback and fewer reactions They tend to display frowning and squinting when listening They stare more in negative interaction Women They tend to look at the other person directly facing them with their head and eyes facing forward when listening They provide more facial expressions and more reactions

They display smiling and headnodding when listening They lower their eyes more to avert gaze in negative interaction

Speech Patterns

Men They speak in a louder voice They use loudness to emphasize points They sound more monotonous in speech. They use approximately 3 tones when talking They interrupt others more and allow fewer interruptions They disclose less personal information about themselves They make direct accusations (i.e., "You don't call")

Women They speak in a softer voice They use pitch and inflection to emphasize points They sound more emotional in speech. They use approximately 5 tones when talking They interrupt others less and allow more interruptions They disclose more personal information about themselves They make more indirect accusations. They use "why", which sounds like nagging (i.e., "Why don't you ever call?") They make more indirect statements

They make more direct statements and "beat around the bush" less often They use less intensifiers

They use more intensifiers such as "few", "so", "really", "much", "quite" They make more tentative statements and use "tag endings" or upward inflections which make statements sound like questions (i.e., "It's a nice day, isn't it?") They use more conjunctions when changing topics (i.e., "and", "but", "however") They ask more questions to stimulate conversations They tend to establish more business relationships through discussing their personal life

They make more declarative statements (i.e., "It's a nice day.")

They use more interjections when changing topics (i.e., "Hey!", "Oh", "Listen!") They ask fewer questions to stimulate conversation They rarely discuss their personal life in business

Behavior
Men They try to solve problems and troubles Women They try to match troubles by relating similar negative experiences They have a more emotional approach to problems They are more likely to ask for help and accept it

They have a more analytical approach to problems They are less likely to ask for help. They try to figure things out on their own They are more task-oriented (i.e., "What is everyone going to do?")

They are more maintenanceoriented (i.e., "Is everyone all right?") They appear more intuitive and more aware of details They have less difficulty in expressing intimate feelings They are more apt to cry to release anger They talk more about how they feel and more about relationships with others They tend to take verbal rejection more personally

They appear less intuitive and less aware of details They have more difficulty in expressing intimate feelings They are more apt to yell, shout and swear to release anger They talk more about what they did, where they went and less about relationships with others They tend to take verbal rejection less personally

The above comparison chart has been excerpted from the book He Says, She Says: Closing the Communication Gap Between the Sexes by Dr. Lillian Glass. Putnam, 1992.

Why Women Love Bastards

BONUS SECTION

How To Be A Bastard Quick-Start Guide: How to Become the Bastard that Women Love in 10 Easy Steps
STEP EIGHT

GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR MALE BUDDIES AND DO MORE MASCULINE ACTIVITIES
Go fishing; go off-roading; go mountain climbing; go camping; go bowling; go to strip joints; go to the races; go to the gym; go watch a boxing event; go to ball games; join in together on some competitive sports or even weight-lifting or sparring - just go do anything that men like to do when they are together - away from the woman. Get back in touch with the man in you. Men and women not only differ in their activity choices, but in their movie, television, book, and music choices as well. Typically men prefer more competitive activities when with their male friends, whereas women prefer more connective activities when with their female friends. I have four teenagers. Three teenage boys and one teenage girl. They are currently all at home and my daughter also has a female friend over. Consequently right now, as I am writing this, I have five teenagers in the house. In one room the two teenage girls are watching the show Real Weddings from the Knot on the Oxygen channel - which is a women's network channel - while in the other room the boys are channel-surfing, stopping on various channels. I can see their television from where I sit and type and here are the shows that they have stopped channel-surfing long enough to watch. Trick My Truck. The Washington -vs- Oklahoma game. The Ultimate Fighter. Cops. Flipping back and forth among channels, the boys are enjoying themselves and feeling at their best. Now on the other hand, the girls are intently held captive by the wedding

show, and haven't once changed the channel. I'm sure if I were to walk in there right now and talk to them they wouldn't even notice or hear me. They are literally glued to that wedding show! See, women dream from a very early age of 'connecting' and that's why getting married is so important to a woman. Connectivity is in the female DNA from very early in their life. On the other hand men dream of competing, winning and 'overtaking'. With this in mind it should make it easier for you to schedule some activities that will get you back in touch with the Bastard that is living inside of you. So, no romantic comedies. No romance novels. Read the Sports Section before the Home & Garden Section. Go bowling, not shopping. Watch the football game. You get the picture.

Why Women Love Bastards

BONUS SECTION

How To Be A Bastard Quick-Start Guide: How to Become the Bastard that Women Love in 10 Easy Steps
STEP NINE

BE TRUE TO YOURSELF
Always make sure you come first in your life. Understand the value of your time and don't waste it trying to bring happiness to another. People-pleasing is an unattractive character trait that Nice Guys reek of! Bastards know that if they bring happiness to themselves that others will naturally follow. You don't have to please anybody but you. Worry about your own happiness. Make your own way in your life. Do for yourself. Don't try to make people like you. Don't try to be someone you're not. Don't try to appease women. Don't care about anyone but you, your friends, and your family. Treat yourself with respect and approval. Don't do things for other people that you know are wrong, or make you have disrespect for yourself. Learn to say "no". Better yet, learn to say "No fuckin' way!" You only have this one life to live, don't hand it over to another while waiting for their approval of you. A Note About The 'Jerk' Many books and other information today tell the Nice Guy to become more aggressive and disrespectful. However, these are not natural actions in men unless they are heeded or warranted by a particular situation. Many men who read this misinformation say they have a hard time acting more aggressive. Well, duh! Unless the situation specifically calls for an aggressive action, aggression does not come naturally to most everyday situations. That's why men have a hard time following that type

of advice. And, truthfully, women aren't turned on by men who act aggressively or disrespectful if the situation doesn't call for it, but are attracted to a man that can be aggressive or disrespectful if the situation implicitly warrants such action. Respect doesn't necessarily mean conceding, courtesy doesn't necessarily mean complaisance, and respect and courtesy are not unmanly traits. In other words, you don't have to be a discourteous, disrespectful jerk to get a woman! Yes, contrary to the new popular belief that the 'jerk gets the girl' you certainly don't need to be aggressive, mean, obnoxious, overbearing, a jerk or an asshole to be a Real Man - the Bastard that Women Love! You can definitely learn that you can love, cherish, adore, respect, and admire women, and treat them with respect, dignity, and courtesy, yet still not be yielding, moldable, and in 'reverence' of them. It's your adamancy to Being True To Yourself by staying the way you are, by not giving in to her efforts to change you, fix you, alter you, or transform you into her twin, which makes you stand out as the Real Man - the Bastard that she will love to love! It's also in your knowledge that she not 'all that' that keeps her hooked on trying to get you to think that she is! Yes, a Bastard knows how to Be True To Himself. You don't have to give into her every whim to make her happy, and you certainly don't need to change the things about yourself that she doesn't 'like'. If she doesn't like you the way you are, that is her problem. You are a Bastard that is happy with yourself, and that's the way it is going to be. Take you or leave you (which she won't, of course ... leaving a man such as you is not an option to her!). Let her make herself happy. If you give into her every whim and want, and 'change' yourself to be exactly the way she thinks she wants you to be, she will have nothing left to dream for, nothing left to work at, and very little respect left for you as a man... ....which brings us to Number Ten!

Why Women Love Bastards

BONUS SECTION

How To Be A Bastard Quick-Start Guide: How to Become the Bastard that Women Love in 10 Easy Steps
STEP TEN

REMAIN RESISTANT AND UNYIELDING


The one common denominator that all Real Men have (remember your list of the pure, raw men?) and that almost all Nice Guys don't have is their innate male trait of being 'resistant' and 'unyielding'. Thesaurus.com has these listings for the words 'Resistant' and 'Unyielding':

UNYIELDING
Main Entry: unyielding Part of Speech: adjective Definition: steadfast Synonyms: adamant, determined, firm, fixed, hard, hard core, hard-headed, hard-line, hard-nosed, headstrong, immalleable, immovable, implacable, impliable, inexorable, inflexible, intractable, locked in, merciless, mulish, obdurate, obstinate, pertinacious, pigheaded, refractory, relentless, resolute, rigid, ruthless, single-minded, solid, staunch, stiff, stiff-necked, stubborn, tough, tough nut, unbending, uncompliant, uncompromising, unmovable, unrelenting, unswayable, unwavering Antonyms: flexible, irresolute, surrendering, yielding Main Entry: authoritarian Part of Speech: adjective

RESISTANT
Main Entry: impervious Part of Speech: adjective Definition: unpenetrable Synonyms: closed to, hermetic, immune, impassable, impassive, impenetrable, impermeable, imperviable, inaccessible, invulnerable, resistant, sealed, tight, unaffected, unapproachable, unmoved, unpierceable, unreceptive, water-tight Antonyms: penetrable, permeable Main Entry: recalcitrant Part of Speech: adjective Definition: disobedient Synonyms: contrary, contumacious, defiant, fractious, indomitable, insubmissive, insubordinate, intractable, obstinate, opposing, radical, rebellious, refractory, resistant, resisting, stubborn, uncontrollable, undisciplinable, undisciplined, ungovernable,

Definition: domineering Synonyms: absolute, authoritative, autocratic, despotic, dictatorial, disciplinarian, doctrinaire, dogmatic, harsh, imperious, magisterial, rigid, severe, strict, totalitarian, tyrannical, unyielding Antonyms: democratic, indulgent, liberal Main Entry: concrete Part of Speech: adjective 2 Definition: hardened Synonyms: caked, calcified, cement, compact, compressed, congealed, conglomerated, consolidated, dried, firm, indurate, monolithic, petrified, poured, precast, set, solid, solidified, strong, unyielding Antonyms: bending, flexible, pliable Main Entry: contumacious Part of Speech: adjective Definition: obstinate Synonyms: alienated, contrary, disaffected, estranged, factious, froward, haughty, headstrong, inflexible, insubordinate, insurgent, intractable, intransigent, irreconcilable, mutinous, obdurate, perverse, pig-headed, rebellious, recalcitrant, refractory, seditious, stubborn, unyielding Antonyms: obedient, subordinate, tractable Main Entry: decided Part of Speech: adjective 2 Definition: strong-willed Synonyms: assertive, bent, certain, cocksure, decisive, deliberate, determined, earnest, emphatic, established, firm, fixed, inflexible, intent, iron-jawed, positive, purposeful, resolute, resolved, serious, set, settled, sure, unbending, unfaltering, unhesitating, unwavering, unyielding Antonyms: hesitant, postponing, undecided, unsure Main Entry: difficult Part of Speech: adjective 1

unmanageable, unruly, untoward, unwilling, wayward, wild, willful, withstanding Antonyms: amenable, compliant, docile Main Entry: defiant Part of Speech: adjective Definition: disobedient Synonyms: aggressive, audacious, ballsy, bold, challenging, contumacious, daring, disregardful, gutsy, insolent, insubmissive, insubordinate, macho, mutinous, obstinate, provocative, rebellious, recalcitrant, reckless, refractory, resistant, resistive, sassy, truculent Antonyms: acquiescent, conforming, obedient, respectful, submissive Main Entry: disinclined Part of Speech: adjective Definition: unwilling Synonyms: afraid, antipathetic, averse, backward, balking, doubtful, dubious, hesitating, indisposed, loath, objecting, opposed, protesting, reluctant, resistant, shy, shying, slow, sticking, uneager, unsympathetic Antonyms: bent, eager, inclined, leaning, willing Main Entry: durable Part of Speech: adjective Definition: sturdy Synonyms: abiding, constant, dependable, diuturnal, enduring, fast, firm, fixed, impervious, lasting, longcontinued, long-lasting, perdurable, perduring, permanent, persistent, reliable, resistant, sound, stable, stout, strong, substantial, tenacious, tough Antonyms: cheap, flimsy, fragile, poorly made, shoddy, undependable, weak Main Entry: fast Part of Speech: adjective 2 Definition: fixed Synonyms: adherent, ardent, attached, close, constant, constraint, durable, faithful, fastened, firm, fortified, held, immoveable, impregnable, indelible,

Definition: hard Synonyms: Gargantuan, ambitious, arduous, backbreaking, ball-buster, bothersome, burdensome, challenging, crucial, demanding, difficile, effortful, exacting, formidable, galling, hard, hardwon, heavy, herculean, immense, intricate, irritating, labored, laborious, man-sized, no picnic, not easy, onerous, operose, painful, problem, problematic, prohibitive, rigid, severe, stiff, strenuous, titanic, toilsome, tough, troublesome, trying, unyielding, uphill, upstream, wearisome Antonyms: easy, manageable, simple, uncomplicated Main Entry: dogged Part of Speech: adjective Definition: determined Synonyms: adamant, bullheaded, firm, hang tough, hard-nosed, hardheaded, indefatigable, inexorable, inflexible, insistent, mulish, obdurate, obstinate, perseverant, perseverative, persevering, persistent, persistive, pertinacious, pigheaded, relentless, resolute, rigid, single-minded, staunch, steadfast, steady, stubborn, tenacious, tough nut, unbending, unflagging, unshakable, unyielding Antonyms: compromising, indifferent, irresolute, undetermined, yielding Main Entry: firm Part of Speech: adjective 1 Definition: inflexible Synonyms: close, close-grained, compact, compressed, concentrated, concrete, condensed, congealed, dense, fine-grained, hard, hardened, heavy, impenetrable, impermeable, impervious, inelastic, jelled, jellified, nonporous, refractory, rigid, set, solid, solidified, stiff, sturdy, substantial, thick, thickset, tough, unyielding Antonyms: yielding Main Entry: firm Part of Speech: adjective 3 Definition: definite

inextricable, lasting, loyal, permanent, resistant, resolute, secure, set, sound, stable, staunch, steadfast, stuck, sure, tenacious, tight, true, unwavering, wedged Antonyms: flexible, insecure, loose, movable, unattached, unfixed Main Entry: fireproof Part of Speech: adjective Definition: unburnable Synonyms: asbestos, concrete, fireresistant, incombustible, noncandescent, noncombustible, nonflammable, noninflammable, steel Antonyms: flammable Main Entry: hardened Part of Speech: adjective Definition: unfeeling Synonyms: accustomed, benumbed, blasphemous, callous, case-hardened, coldhearted, contemptuous, cruel, disdainful, habituated, hard-bitten, hardboiled, hardhearted, heartless, impenetrable, impious, inaccessible, indurated, inured, irreverent, lost, obdurate, obtuse, prepared, resistant, sacrilegious, seasoned, steeled, toughened, unashamed, unbending, uncaring, uncompassionate, unemotional, unrepenting, unsubmissive Antonyms: feeling, unaccustomed Main Entry: hardy Part of Speech: adjective Definition: strong Synonyms: able, able-bodied, acclimatized, brawny, burly, capable, enduring, firm, fit, fresh, hale, hardened, healthy, hearty, hefty, herculean, indefatigable, inured, lusty, mighty, muscular, physically fit, powerful, resistant, robust, rugged, seasoned, solid, sound, stalwart, staunch, stout, sturdy, substantial, tenacious, tough, toughened, unflagging, vigorous, well Antonyms: delicate, tender Main Entry: immune Part of Speech: adjective

Synonyms: abiding, adamant, bent, bound, consistent, constant, determined, enduring, established, exact, explicit, fixed, flat, going, hang tough, inflexible, intent, never-failing, obdurate, persevering, persistent, prevailing, resolute, resolved, set, settled, specific, stable, stand pat, stated, staunch, steadfast, steady, stipulated, strict, strong, sure, tenacious, true, unalterable, unbending, unchangeable, undeviating, unflinching, unqualified, unshakable, unshaken, unwavering, unyielding Antonyms: indefinite Main Entry: hard Part of Speech: adjective 1 Definition: rocklike Synonyms: adamantine, callous, compact, compacted, compressed, concentrated, consolidated, dense, firm, hardened, impenetrable, indurate, indurated, inflexible, iron, packed, rigid, rocky, set, solid, stiff, stony, strong, thick, tough, unyielding Antonyms: soft Main Entry: hard-core Part of Speech: adjective Definition: dedicated Synonyms: determined, devoted, diehard, dyed-in-the-wool, explicit, extreme, faithful, intransigent, obstinate, resolute, rigid, staunch, steadfast, stubborn, uncompromising, unwavering, unyielding Antonyms: moderate Main Entry: hardheaded Part of Speech: adjective Definition: stubborn Synonyms: astute, bullheaded, cool, hang tough, hard, hard-boiled, hardnosed, headstrong, intractable, levelheaded, locked in, mulish, obstinate, pertinacious, perverse, pigheaded, practical, pragmatic, rational, realistic, resolute, sensible, shrewd, sober, stand pat, tough, tough nut, unsentimental, unyielding, willful Antonyms: yielding

Definition: invulnerable Synonyms: allowed, clear, exempt, favored, free, hardened to, insusceptible, irresponsible, let off, licensed, not affected, not liable, not subject, privileged, protected, resistant, safe, unaffected, unanswerable, unliable, unsusceptible Antonyms: susceptible Main Entry: rebellious Part of Speech: adjective Definition: disobedient Synonyms: alienated, anarchistic, attacking, bellicose, contumacious, defiant, difficult, disaffected, disloyal, disobedient, disorderly, dissident, factious, fractious, iconoclastic, incorrigible, individualistic, insurgent, insurrectionary, intractable, mutinous, obstinate, pugnacious, quarrelsome, radical, rebel, recalcitrant, refractory, resistant, restless, revolutionary, rioting, riotous, sabotaging, seditious, threatening, treasonable, turbulent, ungovernable, unruly, warring Antonyms: law-abiding, obedient Main Entry: stable Part of Speech: adjective Definition: braced Synonyms: abiding, anchored, balanced, brick wall, calm, deep-rooted, durable, enduring, equable, established, even, fast, firm, fixed, immutable, invariable, lasting, nailed, perdurable, permanent, poised, reliable, resistant, resolute, safe, secure, set, solid, sound, stabile, stalwart, stationary, staunch, stay put, steadfast, steady, stout, strong, sturdy, substantial, sure, together, tough, unalterable, unchangeable, unfluctuating, uniform, unvarying, unwavering, wellbuilt, well-founded Antonyms: rickety, unstable Main Entry: stiff Part of Speech: adjective 1 Definition: hard Synonyms: annealed, arthritic, benumbed, brittle, buckram, cemented,

Main Entry: headstrong Part of Speech: adjective Definition: stubborn Synonyms: bullheaded, contrary, determined, foolhardy, froward, hard core, hard shell, hard-nosed, heedless, imprudent, impulsive, intractable, locked in, mule, mulish, murder, obstinate, perverse, pig-headed, rash, reckless, refractory, self-willed, strong-minded, uncontrollable, ungovernable, unruly, unyielding, willful Antonyms: tractable Main Entry: immovable Part of Speech: adjective Definition: fixed Synonyms: adamant, constant, dig in, fast, firm, hard-nosed, immotile, immutable, impassive, inflexible, intransigent, locked in, motionless, obdurate, quiescent, resolute, rooted, secure, set, solid, stable, stand pat, stationary, steadfast, stubborn, stuck, tough nut, unalterable, unchangeable, uncompromising, unmodifiable, unshakable, unwavering, unyielding Antonyms: mobile, moving Main Entry: indomitable Part of Speech: adjective Definition: steadfast Synonyms: dogged, impassable, impregnable, insuperable, insurmountable, invincible, invulnerable, obstinate, pertinacious, resolute, ruthless, staunch, stubborn, unassailable, unbeatable, unconquerable, undefeatable, unflinching, unyielding, willful Antonyms: submissive, weak Main Entry: inflexible Part of Speech: adjective 1 Definition: stubborn Synonyms: adamant, adamantine, determined, dogged, dyed-in-the-wool, firm, fixed, hard, immovable, immutable, implacable, indomitable, inexorable, intractable, iron, obdurate, obstinate, relentless, resolute, rigid, rigorous, set,

chilled, congealed, contracted, creaky, firm, fixed, frozen, gelled, graceless, hardened, immalleable, impliable, incompliant, indurate, inelastic, inflexible, jelled, mechanical, numbed, ossified, petrified, refractory, resistant, rheumatic, rigid, scrammed, set, solid, solidified, starched, starchy, stark, steely, stony, taut, tense, thick, thickened, tight, unbending, unflexible, ungraceful, unsupple, unyielding, wooden Antonyms: easy Main Entry: tough Part of Speech: adjective 1 Definition: strong Synonyms: boxy, brawny, cohesive, conditioned, dense, durable, fibrous, firm, fit, flinty, half-cooked, hard, hardbitten, hardened, hardy, healthy, indigestible, inflexible, leathery, lusty, mighty, molded, planished, resilient, resistant, rigid, robust, rugged, seasoned, sinewy, solid, stalwart, steeled, stiff, stout, strapping, sturdy, tenacious, tight, unbreakable, uncooked, unyielding, vigorous, withstanding Antonyms: fragile, weak Main Entry: unbreakable Part of Speech: adjective Definition: strong Synonyms: adamantine, armored, brass-bound, durable, everlasting, firm, incorruptible, indestructible, infrangible, invulnerable, lasting, nonbreakable, perdurable, resistant, rugged, shatterproof, solid, tight, tough, toughened, unshakable, unyielding Antonyms: breakable, delicate, fragile, weak Main Entry: unwilling Part of Speech: adjective Definition: opposed Synonyms: afraid, against, averse, backward, begrudging, compelled, contrary, demurring, disinclined, disobliging, evasive, forced, grudging, hesitating, indisposed, indocile, involuntary, laggard, loath, malcontent,

single-minded, staunch, steadfast, steely, stiff, strict, stringent, unadaptable, unbending, unchangeable, uncompliant, uncompromising, unrelenting, unswayable, unyielding Antonyms: accommodating, flexible Main Entry: hard Part of Speech: adjective 1 Definition: rocklike Synonyms: adamantine, callous, compact, compacted, compressed, concentrated, consolidated, dense, firm, hardened, impenetrable, indurate, indurated, inflexible, iron, packed, rigid, rocky, set, solid, stiff, stony, strong, thick, tough, unyielding Antonyms: soft Main Entry: hardheaded Part of Speech: adjective Definition: stubborn Synonyms: astute, bullheaded, cool, hang tough, hard, hard-boiled, hardnosed, headstrong, intractable, levelheaded, locked in, mulish, obstinate, pertinacious, perverse, pigheaded, practical, pragmatic, rational, realistic, resolute, sensible, shrewd, sober, stand pat, tough, tough nut, unsentimental, unyielding, willful Antonyms: yielding Main Entry: headstrong Part of Speech: adjective Definition: stubborn Synonyms: bullheaded, contrary, determined, foolhardy, froward, hard core, hard shell, hard-nosed, heedless, imprudent, impulsive, intractable, locked in, mule, mulish, murder, obstinate, perverse, pig-headed, rash, reckless, refractory, self-willed, strong-minded, uncontrollable, ungovernable, unruly, unyielding, willful Antonyms: tractable Main Entry: immovable Part of Speech: adjective Definition: fixed Synonyms: adamant, constant, dig in,

opposed, recalcitrant, refractory, reluctant, remiss, resistant, shrinking, shy, slack, slow, unaccommodating, uncheerful, uncooperative, uneager, unenthusiastic, uninclined, unobliging, unready, unwishful, wayward Antonyms: prepared, ready, willing Main Entry: underground Part of Speech: adjective 2 Definition: secret Synonyms: alternative, avant-garde, clandestine, concealed, covert, experimental, hidden, hush-hush, private, radical, resistant, resistive, revolutionary, subversive, surreptitious, unbowed, unconventional, under wraps, undercover, unusual Antonyms: authorized, known, public

fast, firm, hard-nosed, immotile, immutable, impassive, inflexible, intransigent, locked in, motionless, obdurate, quiescent, resolute, rooted, secure, set, solid, stable, stand pat, stationary, steadfast, stubborn, stuck, tough nut, unalterable, unchangeable, uncompromising, unmodifiable, unshakable, unwavering, unyielding Antonyms: mobile, moving Main Entry: indomitable Part of Speech: adjective Definition: steadfast Synonyms: dogged, impassable, impregnable, insuperable, insurmountable, invincible, invulnerable, obstinate, pertinacious, resolute, ruthless, staunch, stubborn, unassailable, unbeatable, unconquerable, undefeatable, unflinching, unyielding, willful Antonyms: submissive, weak Main Entry: inflexible Part of Speech: adjective 1 Definition: stubborn Synonyms: adamant, adamantine, determined, dogged, dyed-in-the-wool, firm, fixed, hard, immovable, immutable, implacable, indomitable, inexorable, intractable, iron, obdurate, obstinate, relentless, resolute, rigid, rigorous, set, single-minded, staunch, steadfast, steely, stiff, strict, stringent, unadaptable, unbending, unchangeable, uncompliant, uncompromising, unrelenting, unswayable, unyielding Antonyms: accommodating, flexible Main Entry: resolute Part of Speech: adjective Definition: determined Synonyms: adamant, bent on, bold, constant, courageous, decided, dogged, faithful, firm, fixed, immutable, inflexible, intent upon, intrepid, loyal, mean business, obstinate, persevering, persistent, persisting, purposeful, relentless, resolved, serious, set, settled, staunch, steadfast, steady, strong,

strong-willed, stubborn, tenacious, true, unbending, unchanging, uncompromising, undaunted, unfaltering, unflagging, unflinching, unshakable, unshaken, unwavering, unyielding, valiant Antonyms: half-hearted, irresolute Main Entry: rigid Part of Speech: adjective Definition: stiff Synonyms: adamant, adamantine, austere, bullheaded, changeless, chiseled, dead set, definite, determined, exact, firm, fixed, hang tough, hard, hard-line, harsh, incompliant, inelastic, inexorable, inflexible, intransigent, invariable, locked in, obdurate, rigorous, set, severe, single-minded, solid, static, stern, strait-laced, strict, stringent, unalterable, unbending, unbreakable, unchanging, uncompromising, undeviating, unmoving, unpermissive, unrelenting, unyielding Antonyms: flexible Main Entry: set Part of Speech: adjective 2 Definition: hardened Synonyms: entrenched, firm, fixed, hidebound, immovable, inflexible, jelled, located, placed, positioned, rigid, settled, sited, situate, situated, solid, stable, stiff, strict, stubborn, unyielding Antonyms: flexible Main Entry: stiff Part of Speech: adjective 1 Definition: hard Synonyms: annealed, arthritic, benumbed, brittle, buckram, cemented, chilled, congealed, contracted, creaky, firm, fixed, frozen, gelled, graceless, hardened, immalleable, impliable, incompliant, indurate, inelastic, inflexible, jelled, mechanical, numbed, ossified, petrified, refractory, resistant, rheumatic, rigid, scrammed, set, solid, solidified, starched, starchy, stark, steely, stony, taut, tense, thick, thickened, tight, unbending, unflexible, ungraceful,

unsupple, unyielding, wooden Antonyms: easy Main Entry: strong Part of Speech: adjective 1 Definition: powerful Synonyms: able, able-bodied, active, athletic, beefy, big, brawny, bulk, burly, capable, durable, enduring, energetic, firm, fixed, forceful, forcible, hale, hardy, healthy, hearty, heavy, heavy-duty, husky, lusty, manly, mighty, muscular, potent, powerful, reinforced, robust, rugged, secure, sinewy, solid, sound, stable, stalwart, stark, staunch, steady, stout, strapping, sturdy, substantial, tenacious, tough, unyielding, vigorous, virile, well-built, well-founded, well-made Antonyms: puny, weak Main Entry: strong Part of Speech: adjective 2 Definition: determined Synonyms: aggressive, ballsy, bitch, brave, clear, cogent, courageous, dedicated, deep, eager, fervent, fervid, fierce, firm, forceful, go-go, gutsy, gutty, hairy, handful, hard-nosed, hardball, independent, intelligent, intense, ironwilled, keen, mean, perceptive, plucky, potent, pushy, resilient, resolute, resourceful, sagacious, self-assertive, severe, staunch, steadfast, take charge, take over, tenacious, tough, unbending, uncompromising, unyielding, vehement, violent, wicked, zealous Antonyms: weak Main Entry: unbending Part of Speech: adjective Definition: rigid Synonyms: aloof, crisp, dig in, distant, firm, formal, hard-line, incompliant, inelastic, inexorable, inflexible, intractable, locked in, obdurate, obstinate, relentless, reserved, resolute, severe, single-minded, stand pat, stiff, strict, stubborn, tough, uncompromising, unflexible, unrelenting, unswayable, unyielding, uptight Antonyms: bending, flexible, pliable

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"It is a false belief that if I'm incomplete, I have to be completed by another person. You have to do it through your own life, your own work, for your own pleasure, through individual growth. The more fulfilled you are, in terms of things that you do separately that please you, the more individuated and more whole you are--and the more intimate you can be. Then you're not expecting the other person to make you happy You're expecting the other person to join you in your happiness." -Found on the Internet It is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness. -Victor Frankl "It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere." Agnes Repplier (1855-1950), American essayist "My secret for success? Wake up earlier, stay up later, and buy the winning lottery ticket." ~Tigress Luv

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