The first time we met at the pirates place where cameramen would make contracts and honestly it grossed

me out one day when a sexually disease carrier aka the cameraman, fucked this poor young girl all day. I would walk by, or he would ask me to find createve items to bring upstairs so he could puit in

her pussy. The only things I brought were ice cubes and a pool stick. I saw in her youth age 18, I saw young woman who did not want to be there. Until the camera would have her downstairs diamond worked into a much needed break. amateur Yes I had been there once, just different situation. The cameraman who probably

just gave her some incurable std, would pay her only 200 by check. Sometimes I told the women what shady shit does when you get involved with sex. I was lucky tho,,, I felt I was trapped in a bad drug house and was offered a job as a one on one private dancing, before the pirates place of sex exchange. We would get fired if we had sex

for anything less that a thousand a nite. Most of my clients were gentleman, in a rush to catch a plain, some were so coked up that they couldn't even get it up, yet they returned again and again, for use to take a grand and attempt to get him hard. I do remember dudes eyes were so solid black it was obvious he used so

many drugs his eyes were crooked. I So before I became interested in roll play, I had 7,000 in less that a week. Should have stayed there at hot pink they called it back then. Somehow that 7 grand went fast. I didn't move out on my

own until I had cancer. Then I found out the love of my life committed suicide. And darn it my Brian created a solid base to begin to trust men and woman. I just miss you, and mel. I did want to mention when we first met you seemed off your rocker if ya know what I

mean. Later while you were scanning and cleansing me you also had a enlightened rage and maybe a bit of dimness. I don't know much about magic, but what I have come to realize magic was waiting for me at birth with The Magician's infinite symbol over head and The same infinity symbol rides as a halo of the Courage. I

always enjoyed William Herbert's DUNE because they would always say FEAR IS THE MIND KILLER.

Ok now lets read some Biblical verses to kick it up a notch with what I have such difficulty in explaining.

KEEP IN MIND I AM PISCES AND HAVE HAD DETAILED DREAMS FROM CARL JUNGS DREAMS AND INTERPRETATION. P246- The poorest of all men is not the man without a cent but the man without a dream where there is no vision, the people perish Proverbs 29:18

You can accomplish more in one hour with god than one lifetime without him. WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! Ma 19:26

Wearing a pink punk rock wig, your expressional love smiled and told me I looked nice and pretty. I always wanted to see and spend time with you again. I still don't understand it. Its better to eat from the tree

of life than knowledge, that knowledge tree fucked me up, created the devil in confusion The more I searched the more my kidneys and heart would tear with fear and, Yes I went completely out of line and tried to explain my experiences with drinking vodka. Ashamed so many times. I would say one day..

"LET ME GO" then the next day I would say"NEVER GIVE UP ON ME". I understand now what it means to say "Books are for Burning". If the mind still has childlike playfulness and honorable simplicity we might possibly encourage the next generation to observe the way we are now is going down. And maybe

just maybe if we don't all die by 2012 then awareness guided together on intent could shift to higher frequencies. My only advice if shit does go down in 2012 Stay with positive minds. Your survival will depend on it. Negative thoughts are lower vibrations, and will miss the

higher levels of awareness, because until one shifts into a higher awareness, one can not comprehend the possible mysteries of heavenly doors opening for the human race to journey each individual passage.