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by Jayesh Bokhiria
ACT I Scene I
Stage is dark a character named TONY comes out into the stage. Spot lights are turned on TONY. TONY start singing in a heavy Mexican voice
"Don't worry about a thing, 'Cause every little thing gonna be all right. Singin': "Don't worry about a thing, 'Cause every little thing gonna be all right!"
Rise up this mornin', Smiled with the risin' sun, Three little birds Pitch by my doorstep Singin' sweet songs Of melodies pure and true, Sayin', ("This is my message to you-ou-ou:")
Singin': "Don't worry 'bout a thing, 'Cause every little thing gonna be all right." Singin': "Don't worry (don't worry) 'bout a thing, 'Cause every little thing gonna be all right!"
Rise up this mornin', Smiled with the risin' sun, Three little birds Pitch by my doorstep Singin' sweet songs Of melodies pure and true, Sayin', "This is my message to you-ou-ou:"
Singin': "Don't worry about a thing, worry about a thing, oh! Every little thing gonna be all right. Don't worry!" Singin': "Don't worry about a thing" - I won't worry! "'Cause every little thing gonna be all right."
Singin': "Don't worry about a thing, 'Cause every little thing gonna be all right" - I won't worry! Singin': "Don't worry about a thing, 'Cause every little thing gonna be all right." Singin': "Don't worry about a thing, oh no! 'Cause every little thing gonna be all right! -Bob Marley
(Spot light off/lights out)
End of Scene I
Scene II (Silent and all of sudden all the stage lights are turn on. One by one all the people come out behind the stage.)
(Heavy Mexican voice is used by TONY throughout the play) I am TONY, a poor but rough and tough Mexican-Canadian you never met in your life.
(… Means thinking) Name … IDIOT I, TONY my best friend. Name … IDIOT II, TONY my best friend. Name … IDIOT III, TONY my best friend. Good Morning I am TINA and I work at Taco Bell. I mean I am a manager a Taco Bell, 52 Pi Hallow St., New York City, Texas 052230. Hi, I love you and my name is MINA. I for work for PAPPA YOUNG. I am sorry TONY slept with me. Hi, I hate you and my name is JULIA and I for work for PAPPA YOUNG. I raped TONY that night.
I am king of Hell. I Tony a Mexican-Canadian who comes to America by (Light out) (American and Mexican border. (A voice comes behind the stage) SHUT UP.) TONY Eh Yo buddy! BUDDY! BUDDDYYY! IDIOT I What? TONY . I raped TONY that night. Hit me up and I hook you up PLUS get you some discount. I hate you and my name is JULIET and I for work for PAPPA YOUNG. Here (point towards right) are my biddies from Hell. Hello I TOMMY.Hi. Young. Yo HOMMIE it’s me Mr. all my Hot Chicks calls me PAPPA YOUNG aka DADDYY PIMP. daddy pimp of Hell. I guard of Heaven for my friend. YOU SON OF BITCH End of Scene II. that’s me you son of bitch THE DEVIL. I am guard of Hell Yeah. Hello I TOM. Tony and his three friends other side of border waiting for right time to cross the border and enter America. Scene III (TONY comes out behind the stage) Yes. too.
we cross the border when sunset. IDIOT II What the fuck Tony. Sun is going down. End of Scene III Scene IV (Tony and his three friends are still waiting for sunset) (Excited) TONY Here we go. I don’t know about you but I am ready. I born ready for this. TONY Mother Trucker.Yo. you ready go America IDIOT III Tony. Listen (There is silent for a moment) Listen up now. we been waiting since 5:00 AM TONY All of you SHUT THE FUCK UP! Stupid bastard. Idiot II I see that Tony (Sunset and its dark) .
run faster. IDIOT I and IDIOT III kept running thinking that IDIOT II has been killed) IDIOT I Tony we made it! IDIOT III Welcome to America my friends. TONY That (security guard) son of bitch killed you. Tony is looking for a job in order to make mad money) .TONY. and IDIOT III Let’s rock it. My leg is bleeding. TONY That (security guard) son of bitch killed our friend IDIOT II. (TONY. IDIOT II I can’t. (Tony and his three friends start running) TONY Come on. IDIOT II. IDIOT I. (They all started crying) End of Scene IV Scene V (Tony and his two friends have been separate.
TINA Tony the Tiger? TONY No woman. TONY I want to in with you.(TINA sitting on a chair and TONY ENTERS) TINA Good Morning. TINA What? TONY When can I start working here? TINA Whenever you are ready? . Who are you? TONY I am Tony. TINA Nice! … How can I help you? TONY Bitch. I am Tony the Mexican-Canadian. I need a job here. TINA Congratulation! You are in. I am Tina and I am here at Taco Bell.
Get your ass working I pay you $6. MINA How about tonight? All tonight just you and me. GOT IT TINA Whatever. (TINA bring Taco Bell’s dress Uniform) TINA Here Tony. TONY I need my money in CASH before I leave.TONY Woman I was born ready for these. you little bastard.28 per hour. (TINA EXIT) (Tony start working … 5 minutes later MINA ENTER) MINA Hey sexy wanna spoon some time with me. TONY Oh Hell No! (TONY is angry) I ain’t getting in with a white chick. MINA . Put this uniform on. TONY Woman I have no time for you. I am hundred percent Mexican-Canadian.
(MINA EXIT) (15 minutes later PAPPA YOUNG ENTERs) PAPPA YOUNG Yo hommie. See you tonight. . That son of bitch ruined my day.Whatever. pussy. how are you doing? TONY I am good. do you know what you just did? TONY What mother trucker? PAPPA YOUNG You just reject one of my hot street biddies TONY HELL NO! (TONY gets angry) Get the fuck out of my store. You will pay for this. You son of bitch. (PAPPA YOUNG gets very mad and angry) PAPPA YOUNG NO you son of bitch you know who you talking to you piece of shit. (PAPPA YOUNG EXIT) (12 AM is about time to close the store. TINA ENTERS) TINA Hey you son of bitch.
TINA Who? TONY THAT SON OF BITCH! TINA How you getting home? TONY I don’t know. TINA You bastard I knew that. TINA Do you want me to drive you? TONY Hell YES! (TINA driving TONY home) TONY Here right here. (TINA smiles) LET’S DO IT! . TINA You lucky bastard your house is a beautiful. This is my house. TONY I love had a dream to GET IT in with a Mexican woman.
(TONY and TINNA enters the house) TINA You bastard you lied to me. (TINA EXIT) (MINA lying naked on TONY’s bed) TONY You bitch you ruin everything. TINA Relax. What the fuck that bitch doing on your bed. (TONY start getting dizzy and light is going out) What? What did you put in the drink…? Don’t do that to me TINA You don’t like me? . MY FIRST SEX! (TONY is mad) Now I will be virgin forever. Bastard! I told you. take this drink. TINA Haha. TONY Thank you. TONY Way to ruin my first sex.
TONY You are good but NO I want to get in with a white chick. it’s me TINA TONY What are you doing in my bed and where are my clothes? . Now they are about to wake up. TINA I cannot stop it now.) (TONY is shock) TONY What? Where are my clothes? Why am I naked? TINA Babe what happened? (TONY jump out of bed when he hears TINA’s voice) TONY You? TINA Yes. End of Scene V Scene VI (TONY and TINA had a sex last night.
) TINA You will pay for his. (Shocked and mad after TONY admit that he did had a sex with her) TINA So give me my damn money. Get the fuck out of my house. Bastard I need my money now? TONY Money for what? (TINA is mad very mad because TONY is not willing to pay her) TINA For undressing me and having a tinny dick. TONY Woman listen I didn’t had a sex with you.TINA I should ask you same question where is my clothes? Because you are the one who took off my clothes and throw it somewhere? (TONY gets mad) TONY Me? Bitch what you talking about. (TINA is mad and she starts walking out of the house naked. I had no control over myself after that drink you gave me. I mean you had a sex with me. Although I had a great time with you. You little bastard! Damn you! Tinny dick head! TONY . TINA That’s what all others guys say in the morning. Don’t be a pussy. TONY BICTH! I ain’t paying you no dime.
) End of Scene VI Scene VII (TINA left TONY’s house naked and goes to visit PAPPA YOUNG who is sitting and hot chicks are standing next to his throne. Please! TINA That bastard… PAPPA YOUNG Who? TINA TONY! (PAPPA YOUNG is gets angry) . (TINA start crying) HONEY! What happened? (PAPPA YOUNG is shocked and start worrying) What happened? Tell me. bitch. (PAPPA YOUNG is excited) PAPPA YOUNG Damn girl! You are looking hot today.Whatever.) on a throne. (TONY falls asleep.
He gonna pay for these. right? JULIA and JULIET YES BOSS! PAPPA YOUNG . What he did to you? TINA He played with me all night and (TINA start crying again and PAPPA YOUNG gets more mad) PAPPA YOUNG Then WHAT? TINA He called me a “BITCH” (PAPPA YOUNG gets madder now) That pussy bastard.PAPPA YOUNG That dick head. PAPPA YOUNG That son of bitch. How dare he call my bitches a bitch? TINA Not only had the kicked me out of the house naked without any pay. TINA But how? (PAPPA YOUNG starts laughing) PAPPA YOUNG JULIA and JULIET you know what to do.
) (TONY wake up when he heard a noise) TONY Who there? JULIA It’s me! JULIET And it’s me! (TONY gets mad) TONY Who the hell are you? (JULIA sits next to TONY and start touching him) JULIA Babe.Haha! Haha! End of Scene VII Scene VIII (JULIA and JULIET go to TONY’s house. it’s me babe JULIA. TONY JULIA? (Bring a drink/holding a drink) . and TONY has been sleeping since TINA left.
(TONY who was sleeping in between JULIA and JULIET is shocked and jumps out of the bed when he heard JULIET’s voice) . (Lights go out) Have this drink. PLEASE hold my hand. (TONY takes the drink and start drink) TONY JULIA and JULIET. everything will be alright. (TONY is shocked and don’t know what to do?) TONY JULIET? JULIET Yes. but the all streets lights are out. and it’s me JULIET. (Night over and the Sun is shining in the room from the window) Who turned that damn light ON? JULIET Babe it’s just the Sun shining through the window. I can’t see anything. babe.JULIET Yes. (TONY start getting nervous) TONY Why … why the room is dark? JULIA Don’t worry babe. My head is spinning. that’s JULIA. It’s not just our house.
TONY Who the hell are you? And what you doing on my bed. TONY Why would I do that? JULIET Bastard you know better. (TONY start getting irritated) TONY Bitch (es). . We should I ask you same question what the hell were you doing with us whole night? (TONY start to get more irritated) TONY What the fuck you talking about? And where are my clothes? JULIA You played with us all night long. and asking us what we are talking about? JULIET By the way.) JULIET You bastard. what you talking about? (JULIA and JULIET are mad because TONY is being an asshole. you are the one who took our clothes off and throw it under the bed. I mean we not I. I should I ask you the same question. You can’t get in with clothes ON. (JULIA wakes up because of TONY’s loud Mexican voice) JULIA You Bastard.
and take the gun out) JULIA and JULIET You know better… (Gun fire) JULIA This bastard will go to HELL! (Light out) JULIA and JULIET Haha! Haha! End of Scene VIII Scene IX (After life: TONY is died but his spirit isn’t. TONY Buddy. It will go to heaven or hell?) (Light are turned ON and they are two doors with one guard at each door.(JULIA is mad very mad) JULIA Damn it! Now give us over money TONY Money for what? (JULIA and JULIET look at each other. where am I and where are you? .
TOM we close. We close. TONY Who are you to stop me? Get out of my way! TOMMY No sir. do not enter. A shortcut to enter Heaven. Break. (TONY looks up) TONY Oh that sign says “Welcome to Heaven” which means I have to go in. (TONY run to other door and about to enter but he is stopped by the guard.) TOMMY Sorry sir. Break. Come later. . and there he sees another guard standing out stand the door and there is a door sign too. TONY Thanks mother trucker for wasting my time.) TONY “WELCOME” (TONY start thinking) Welcome? How about that door. Please. you can’t. TOM NO. (TONY looks to his left.TOM I no talk. this isn’t the place for you.
Please help me. TONY sees the fire everywhere. . and he starts walking forward. but I ain’t burning? (TONY is shocked.) Damn. Once he is in the door is close automatically) TONY What the fuck just happen to the door? (He looks up) “TO HELL!” (TONY started thinking) “WELCOME” on outside of the door and “TO HELL!” inside the door … where am I? … “WELCOME TO HELL?” What the fuck? (All of the sudden. Lucky bastard. DEVIL Who are you? And what you doing here? TONY I TONY. (TONY runs to DEVIL crying) Your highness.) What the fuck is going on? I am standing on the fire.(TONY pushes the guard a side and enters. Not only that they are hotter than those (DEVIL in his rough and loud voice) DEVIL Who’s there? (TONY talking to himself) I think that’s DEVIL the King of Hell and the King of those hot biddies. the guard of Heaven killed the guard of Hell in front of me and throw me in Hell. your highness. there are hot biddies in Hell.
Balls. Now your highness. EINA. MINA. he do that? EINA. hoped everything will be alright one day. and TINA Yes. then rape him. extremely mad his head is on fire) DEVIL How dare. But that day never came in Earth. everything gonna be alright. (TONY stops crying by little) TONY Your highness. DEVIL Why was your life miserable? Tell me everything about your life. TONY I been through a lot. your highness. MINA. DEVIL I am sorry. can you Please send me to Heaven that’s where are I belong after going through a horrible life in Earth. (TONY start crying again) My friend control yourself. that guard thinks he is better than you. (DEVIL gets mad. (TONY Starts crying more until three hot biddies come next to him) HOT BIDDIES of HELL Babe. my friend TONY. once you are in hell you can’t go anywhere particularly in Heaven. and TINA go kill that bastard.(More crying) Your highness. listen to us (Starts touching him and start singing) .
TONY my good friend you been through a lot. for you I grant three more wishes. honey for a glass of wine. You can for anything you want except you going to heaven. Singin': "Don't worry about a thing. I am a Mexican – Canadian … *TONY tells him autobiography to DEVIL and his mad biddies] (TONY starts crying again) Worst thing those two chick after the shot me was they raped my dead body for days. GIVE ME YOUR THRONE. DEVIL My friend TONY. I wish for three more wishes. then. (Moment of silent) My friend TONY. you do deserve going to hell. 'Cause every little thing gonna be all right!" (TONY stops crying when one of the biddies bring him a drink) TONY Thank you. . and not only this I give you one of my hottest biddies for free. get me all his mad biddies."Don't worry about a thing. TONY Thank you. Life does sucks. your highness. 'Cause every little thing gonna be all right. but … (TONY starts crying more) How about this I grant you a wish. My three wishes: You my highness kill that bastard PAPPA YOUNG. TONY As you say your highness. And I am so sorry to hear that no one there to help you. (TONY drinks the wine) Your highness. (DEVIL and his mad biddies start crying) I am sorry.
what is that your highness? TONY KILL THAT BASTARD! And get me his biddies. YOU SON OF BITCH DEVIL You… TONY Mother Trucker. and TONY is sitting on the throne) Haha! Now I am King of Hell. all mad hot biddies. do what I told you to. (DEVIL just realized what he had done) What? What? NO! NO! I take it back. Thus. NO! TONY SHUT UP.\ Haha! Haha! Haha! . do what I told you. because he is helping a person who never got to taste the victory.) DEVIL YOU WISHES ARE GRANTED. I am daddy pimp of these biddies. Yo hommie.(DEVIL has his eyes close with a big smile in his face. DEVIL But … TONY Get out of that throne now! (DEVIL is standing where TONY was standing. DEVIL Yes.
STOP wasting my time and pick biddies. PAPPA YOUNG DEVIL the King of Hell? Thus. DEVIL Actually your time is up Mr. And so … (PAPPA YOUNG interrupted DEVIL) PAPPA YOUNG Hommie. you waste 5 minutes of my important time. PAPPA YOUNG . PAPPA YOUNG. do you have biddies at place? DEVIL Was King of Hell.(BOOM! The lights are out) End of Scene IX Scene X (When light are turns ON: we see PAPPA YOUNG with mad biddies and DEVIL enters the room/stage) PAPPA YOUNG YO HOMMIE WELCOME TO HOOD! (All biddies start laughing) What types of biddies you like or want discount? DEVIL I am DEVIL.
What the fuck you talking’? DEVIL Yes. extremely mad) PAPPA YOUNG THAT PUSSY HEAD BASTARD … End of Scene X THE END . (All biddies starts running and PAPPA YOUNG is mad. TONY a Mexican – Canadian who is now the King of Hell sent me down to kill you. you heard me right your time is up.
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