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Is it Okay to Take Revenge?

My moment of revenge is now. Is this statement right?
I believe that bBeing revengeful is wrong. We should give chances; the people that bully you may have a reason why they are doing this to you. These reasons help structure my the opinion, just relax and breathe in, talk to the bully and ask them about what is problem, taking revenge changes your personality and lastly, think about the future consequences. Firstly, just relax. Breathe in and breathe out, it can help control your emotions. Just ask the bully why they are making you feel horrible and miserable. Make sure to ask in a nice respectful way so that they can see that you are not affected by the ose words of actions they things that theydid done to you. Even though you may be mad or scared at them just be confident and stand up against them, without any physical actions involved. I think that,If you can try to just remain calm and get your way out of this situation, after that good things will come. If you are not calm about this situation, you can turn into a nasty person which leads me to the next reason that is, if you take revenge on someone, you may be looked at differently. People may back away from you and you can turn into a different person, a very scary one too. Also it may lead you into more problems; this little situation can grow into a bigger one. Just be who you are and think what is best for you and this situation. The last reason, is connected to the second reason is to Finally, think before you think before you act. Think about the future and the consequences that might happen if you take revenge on someone. You can go to jail for it, or it revenge can lead to a very severe punishment. Whenever we take action, do something, I think that we it is important to should think ahead about it and always make sure that, it is the right thing or not.choice is being made. In conclusion, I think that being revengeful is wrong. From my experienceExperience, shows that when people whenever I get bullied, I feelthey really bad and the situation is on their mind for weeks. it is the only thing I think of in the past weeks. Everything we do to try to cheer ourselves up, turns down again when you remember the situation. It is not nice to get bullied. Just think about what those people have done to you and think before you act, what did they do to you to make you want to take revenge? People would look at you differently, knowing what you did to was not right. That could lead you to making your life very different. Very, very different. Remember, breathe in and breathe
Comment [JH1]: Great hook, who wrote this? If you made it up than you need to quote your name. If you copied it from somewhere, then you need to put in into a bibliography. Comment [JH2]: Avoid writing personal statements.

Comment [JH3]: Things is not specific enough. Explain exactly what you mean!

Comment [JH4]: Excellent transition.

Comment [JH5]: Not a very clear transition. Comment [JH6]: Again it is not clear enough, explain exactly what you mean. Comment [JH7]: Do what? Be specific.


out before you make a serious conclusion because this is your decision of being who you are in the future.

Comment [JH8]: Great conclusion Belle!

Belle, the content of your essay is great, as you have expressed yourself quite clearly. There are times when you can work on restructuring your ideas. There is a difference between the clarity of your first paragraph and the last. 8
- Your essay gives at least two clear reasons to support your opinion - It gives clear detail to explain each reason.

It usually engages the readers interest.

Organization is good, you have some great transition sentences between your paragraphs, keep working on this! - Your essay has a generally effective beginning, middle and end. - The presentation of ideas is usually smooth/logical. Paragraphs are generally well structured and include clear topic sentences as well as supporting sentences. Vocabulary- keep working on expanding your language - Your essay may have occasional errors in grammar, spelling and/or syntax that rarely hinder the communication of your ideas. - The vocabulary is mostly varied and appropriate. There is a consistent awareness of audience and the register used is appropriate.