This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
Alcohol: If you are intoxicated, you may not be able to say no or you may not understand when someone says no. Know your limits. Rohypnol, aka Roofies, Rope, Rib, La Rocha, the Drop Pill: When dissolved in a drink, it has no taste or smell. Twenty to thirty minutes after taking it, you get drowsy, fall asleep, lose inhibition and black out. GHB, aka GBH, Liquid Ecstasy, Liquid X: A clear, odorless, liquid drug. Its salty taste is masked when mixed with drinks. It decreases inhibitions, causes drowsiness, a deep unresponsive sleep, and in many cases, exaggerated sexual feelings. It also can kill without warning. Ketamin, aka Special K, K: A surgical anesthetic that can be sniffed or injected. It can cause powerful hallucinations, out of body experiences, vomiting, numbness and near-death-like states. • • • • • •
HERE’S WHAT TO DO
When you’re in danger, trust your instincts, try to get to a safe place and call for help. Keep important phone numbers on hand to make those calls. In an emergency, call 911 or the local police immediately. If you need to talk to someone, call one of the 24 hour hotlines (203) 789-8104 or (203) 7369944. At school, contact your guidance counselor or a trusted teacher. Select a code word to alert your family, teachers or friends. Use it when you need to call for help. If you know a classmate who is being abused, give that person this information. Listen and help without judging or blaming them for being abused. Remember, it could happen to anyone. If you know someone who is hurting another person, ask yourself: do I want to be associated with an abuser? Is there a trusted adult I can talk to?
Love Shouldn’t Hurt!
but for many teens it does . . .
NUMBERS TO KNOW
Phone a 24-hour hotline and talk to someone. Calls are confidential. Center for Domestic Violence Services:
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT
IF YOU HAVE BEEN ABUSED, YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME. You are a worthwhile person. You deserve to be treated with respect. You do have power over your own life. You can decide what is best for you. You have the right to make mistakes. You have the right to change your mind. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU CAN ASK OTHERS FOR HELP.
Adapted with permission from New York Anti-Violence Project, 2000.
PO Box 148 Ansonia CT 06401
(203) 789-8104 or (203) 736-9944
Sexual Assault Crisis Service: (888) Info hotline:
(203) 789-8104 or (203) 736-9944
We can help if you are in trouble. Love shouldn’t hurt.
IS SOMETHING WRONG? Does Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend:
• • harass you? humiliate or embarrass you in front of your family or friends? put down your achievements or goals? make you feel that you’re stupid and can’t make independent decisions? use intimidation or threats, with or without weapons to get their way? tell you that you are insignificant without them? make you feel that there “is no way out” of the relationship? treat you roughly - grab, push, pinch, shove, hit, choke, restrain, or touch you in ways that make you uncomfortable? call you several times a night and show up to keep track of you? prevent you from going out or doing things you want - like hangin’ with your friends or chillin’ by yourself? use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for yelling at or abusing you, either physically or mentally? pressure you sexually for things you aren’t ready for or just don’t want to do? try to keep you from leaving after a fight? threaten to leave you somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson”? make you feel like everything that goes wrong is your fault, that you are the problem? threaten to hurt or do damage to anyone or anything that is important to you? threaten to expose you as gay or lesbian?
• sometimes feel scared of how your boyfriend/girlfriend will act? constantly make excuses to other people for their behavior? hope that they will change if only you changed something about yourself (like how you dress, who you talk to, or how you show you care)? try not to do anything that would cause a fight or make them angry? feel like no matter what you do, he/she is never happy with you or won’t forgive you? stay with him/her only because you are afraid of what they would do if you broke up?
RAPE IS NOT LOVE
Love is about two people caring and trusting each other and taking pleasure in being together. Love is about two people freely choosing to be together or have sex together. Being forced to have sexual contact against your will is sexual abuse. Being forced to have sexual intercourse against your will is called rape, whether or not you know the person. Both are crimes. Forced sex is not about love. Its message is, “I am more powerful than you and I don’t care what you want.” If we call it rape, we think of physical force. But it can also be rape if you aren’t able to freely and responsibly say no or yes to having sex. Giving in if you think you’re threatened isn’t consent. If you’re under seventeen, even if you do say yes, it isn’t legal consent. And even if they may not meet the legal definition of “rape”, fast talk, hard sell, shaming, emotional blackmail and other forms of manipulation are not love. They are forms of force. Rape can happen to anyone or can be committed by anyone, regardless of color, race, age, ethnicity, religion, family income, job or sexual orientation.
Adapted with permission from the Westchester Coalition of Family Violence Agencies.
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might be in an abusive relationship. No one has the right to hurt you, manipulate you or force you into things that you don’t want to do. There is free and confidential help. Call (203) 789-8104 or (203) 736-9944, 24 hours a day, everyday.
Do you often hear from your boyfriend/ girlfriend.... “It was only one time...” “I’ll never do it again...” “I hardly touched you...” “At least I didn’t hit you...” “If you hadn’t made me so mad/jealous, I wouldn’t have...” “If you weren’t such a...” “I had to...” How many more excuses do you need to hear?