Charles Oben’s email to David Ford, CEO

uk [& pics of his transformation] – when his mum read this her response was: “He will conclude perhaps quite rightly that u are slightly unbalanced and will be very sure NOT to reply and hope to God u never contact him again. You are right. It’s out there.Way out there and u shouldn't have sent it.” Thankfully he ignored her, he was invited for an interview 3 days later." ------Dear Mr Ford, I hope you are well and the Easter period is treating you kindly. My name is Luscombe View and I am the resident behavioural psychologist at the University of Warwick. I regret to inform you that today, I am forced to act as the harbinger of bad news. A couple of days ago, I received a distressed phone call from Chris Horsewell, the house tutor at Redfern Flat 75 concerning the somewhat distressing story of Charles Oben, one of the student residents. Charles is well known within the flat as a very sociable and outgoing individual and so it was to the surprise of many, when his behaviour changed abruptly several weeks hence. No longer was his incessant smile seen throughout the halls, the corridors felt starved from his raucous laughter and his flatmates soon began to miss his childish, but ultimately harmless antics. When Mr Horsewell decided to investigate the matter personally following on from a brief discussion with one of Charles' flatmates, the situation that greeted him was a sight to behold; Charles sat at his desk, mobile phone in hand, completely expressionless. It seemed that Charles was waiting, waiting for something so important to him that he had become oblivious to the world around him. He had forsaken human contact, hygiene, sleep and a host of other essential means of psychological nourishment as he continued to wait, for something. After contacting Charles parents, and being unable to resolve the issue on his own, even with the help of the Warwick health centre, Mr Horsewell felt it necessary to contact me. It took me a while to figure out the precise nature of the issue with Charles, but after much study, it has become clear that Charles is suffering from longing-syndrome. Longing-syndrome is a rare psychological illness seen in youths aged 18-25 in which the expected arrival of a particular event which they deem significant causes a fissure along the longitudinal tissue within their right hemisphere that upsets their rationality. Consequently, they begin to value the arrival of said event over all else which results in them slowly discarding anything that they perceive to be of secondary importance, such as personal hygiene, to the wayside. If left unattended for long periods of time, this can cause long lasting damage to the effect of a re-evaluation of how the individual categorizes topics according to levels of importance within their brain stems. In severe cases, it may lead to obscure reversals such as the changing of clothes being deemed more important than showering daily. Fortunately I have been able to find the cause of Charles' longing-syndrome and it seems in some form to be related to you Mr Ford. Although I do not know the precise nature of the relationship between you two, I think it has something to do with Charles awaiting either a favourable or unfavourable response with respect to his speculative internship application to your firm. Having said that, I realize that these proceedings do not cross into my realm of affairs, and I apologize if my interference is unwelcome, but I am writing to you today as a concerned member of the Warwick University staff trying to look after the well being of one of our students. It is not only Charles that I am concerned about as well, it would seem that he has developed a rather vivid body odour, after not shaving or showering for weeks on end, that is rampant throughout his student flat which is making it difficult for other students to get on with their daily affairs. I have attached a picture of Charles before and after the late stages of longing-syndrome to try and portray the seriousness of the matter at hand. If possible, I would be very grateful for your assistance regarding this situation. I believe Charles' e-mail address is Kind regards, Dr. Luscombe View

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