A Grand Experience!!!

The positive thinking revolution was initiated by Dr Norman Vincent Peale in the early 1950s when he wrote his best selling book, "The Power of Positive Thinking". The concept was not really new but he was able to bring it into focus for the average person and people got excited about it. It started a whole new culture on how people could run their lives. One of his famous quotes was...

"Change your thoughts and you change your world".

As result of this book the whole concept of "Self Help" was born, and it is now the most used section of all bookstores and it is still growing. There is however an area that has not been given as much attention as it truly deserves and that is the concept of 'positive aging'. We're all passengers on the same train here, taking the same journey and heading towards the same destination. From the moment we're born we all start getting old-er.

However, how we travel to our ultimate destination and what we do along the way while we're getting there is entirely up to us.

As we get older we can fall into a trap that we've actually set for ourselves with our own thinking. Most of us spent our lives dealing with peer pressures, bringing up a family, holding down a job and coping with the emotional wear and tear of the work place. We

spent so much time doing all this that we have never really taken the time to evaluate who we really are.
While doing all of this we should stop for a second and think,

What are our strengths, What can we do to bring to back the excitement, and how can we "kick start" our lives again.
What we think of ourselves is vitally important to the success of any endeavor. We move forward or backwards grounded in our own estimation of self. Or at least we think we do. However, many times those judgments are not based on who we think we are, but instead fall into the category of 'who others think we are'. We all know that someone else's opinion is of little consequence in our daily lives, yet, we rely on these external views, real or imagined, to fortify our public demeanour and actions. Much of this reaction to exterior views has to do with age and maturity which follows a basic psychological pattern sometimes referred to as the 20 - 40 - 60 rule.

At 20, your life revolves around an obsession of what others think of you. At 40, you begin to not care what others think of you. And at 60, you realize that when you were 20, you really weren't being judged at by anyone but yourself. We have reached a time and space in the Universe where we need to all be 60. We need to define our lives, our spirituality. Naturally, the older we get, the more we understand our vulnerabilities, the more we want to discover our attachment to the Divine. Many don't even begin a spiritual search until they have raised a family, conquered the business world and finally found the time to do some inner exploration. But, it is never too late, or too early, to explore one's personal relationship with Creation. Take a moment, no matter what your age, to be 60.

Aging With Dignity...

From the day we come into this world 'till the day we die we are aging. How we

age is the important thing. Do we do so with dignity?

What about aging positively and living with dignity? The very old are not the only ones who would like to have some dignity in their lives. What about the person who has been in middle management and is now redundant? maybe he or she are in their fifties. What kind of a wallop has their dignity taken? What about the person whose life's partner has died or been put into a "home for the bewildered", or someone who has just retired and found that it was not as easy as they thought to make the transition from being a very important cog in the wheel of industry to being just another retiree, with a pension and a gold watch. The latter is still a very common part of the retirement process. Is there a touch of symbolism there? It's a well documented fact that people who have just retired are very often at the lowest point in their lives, esteem wise. People who have aspirations for aging with dignity vary from individuals in their middle age to old age. Deep down inside most of them want to continue to live with dignity throughout our lives... whatever our age. Self respect, self esteem and morale are some of the most important ingredients involved in dignity. There is no age limit at either end of the spectrum where these qualities are not needed. Because of the way society views the process of aging, we cannot expect to be treated as we would like to be. That does not mean that we are forgotten, or that we are seen as lesser citizens.

I think that we have to change the way we see ourselves and the way we want to be seen as a very important part of society with something really worthwhile to offer. As the great Mark Twain said... "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind,

it doesn't matter."

Issues and Challenges

A young adult, according to Erik Erikson's stages of human development, is generally a person between the age of 20 40. 'Young adulthood can be considered the healthiest time of life and young adults are generally in good health, subject neither to disease nor the problems of senescence. Biological function and physical performance reach their peak from 2035 years of age, waning after 35. Strength peaks around 25 years of age, plateaus through 35 - 40 years of age, and then declines. Flexibility also decreases with age throughout adulthood. However, there are large individual differences and a fit 40-year-old may out-compete a sedentary 20-year-old. In the wake of the adolescent emphasis upon identity formation, 'the young adult, emerging from the search for and insistence on identity, is eager and willing to fuse his identity with that of others. He [or she] is ready for intimacy, that is, the capacity to commit...to concrete affiliations and partnerships. To do so means the ability 'to face the fear of ego loss in situations which call for self-abandon: in the solidarity of close affiliations, in orgasms and sexual unions, in close friendships and in physical combat. Avoidance of such experiences 'because of a fear of ego-loss may lead to a deep sense of isolation and consequent self-absorption In modern societies, young adults in their late teens and early 20's encounter a number of issues as they finish school and begin to hold fulltime jobs and take on other responsibilities of adulthood; and 'the young adult is usually preoccupied with self-growth in the context of society and relationships with others. The danger is that in 'the second era, Early Adulthood...we must make crucially important choices regarding marriage, family, work, and lifestyle before we have the maturity or life experience to choose wisely. The first phase of early adulthood comes to a close around twenty-eight to thirty, when 'at about 28 the provisional character of the twenties is ending and life is becoming more serious...the age-thirty crisis. Others have spoken of 'the Catch-30 Passage...between age 28 and 32', stressing that 'it is not uncommon, at the approach to the thirties, to tear up the life structure one put together to support the original dream of the twenties, and to start anew - 'to create the basis for the next life structure. Issues faced by middle age (40 to 60) are Adjusting to the body's physical and physiological changes including adjustment of self image, facial wrinkles, graying or loss of hair, increasing weight. 2. Adjusting to the reality of the work situation 3. Assuring economic security for old age 4. Helping children leave home and become responsible adults 5. Reorganizing living arrangements 6. Readjusting to being a couple again

7. Assuring adequate medical supervision for old age 10. Making living arrangements for one's own parents 11. Reaffirming the values of life that have real meaning. There are several issues and faced by the old age (60 and above) population as well The first problem includes health issues. These include hearing and sight loss, memory loss and increased health problems. While many people will not face these problems right away, these losses can be gradual, the aging population can learn to adapt to the limitations. While today's elderly person is considerably more healthy than those of previous generations, they still need health plans like Medicare and Medicaid. Another problem deals with the persons income and economic welfare. No longer being in the workforce, these individuals will need to rely on their pensions and Social Security. However, because the cost of living rises, some elderly "live below or slightly above the poverty level" (Gerontology). There is habitually a lack of self-confidence in old age, particularly if the old people can't take care of themselves monetarily. Loneliness is another issue. Men tend to have a shorter life expectancy than women. Therefore, many married females become widows as they age. While some children are a short distance from older parents, some live too far a distance away to provide the proper support in emergencies. "Social relationships might be difficult to maintain in old age because of health limitations, death of family members and friends, loss of workmates, and lack of transportation" (Gerontology). There is occasionally a lack of reason to live, too much redundant time, and too much time for belligerent. There may be a craving to travel but no means to do so. There is a lack of important things to do. Old age brings about future shock. Senior citizen finds himself out of phase with the younger generations of children and grandchildren. Therefore a hazardous trend can get started toward hypercriticism. While health concerns, economic issues and loneliness are problems the aging population has to face, there are two major ones that must be addressed. These are neglect/abuse and crime against the elderly.

"There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age."

Sophia Loren

Solutions to overcome the challenges

Family friends and the mediated others influence our physical and mental well being in a magnitude of ways; they may exercise and play games with us and express their opinion about our attitude, character, appearance and well being. They provide information that invites one to deliberate, to act and at times seek professional help or advice. Having a satisfied network of others to whom we relate is correlated with having positive mental states. Positive relations with others bolsters ones self confidence, provides a sense of self worth ,lifts ones spirit, helps one generate meaningful goals, and provides solace in times of trouble. At the same time when people are feeling good about themselves and life, they will often approach others in a positive way, evidencing more empathy, love, nurture and forgiveness. Thus positive and healthy interaction with your kith and kin and their support to overcome various issues faced by one with respect to their mental and physical changes while ageing is a very resourceful and dependable solution. Positive mental states are related to engaging activity. Activities like exercise, inculcating hobbies, leisure activities with friends, doing volunteer work, dancing, and engaging in sports etc can often yield good memories, a sense of accomplishment and a feeling of zestfulness and joy. Engaging activity can also increase ones sense of internal control.

Physical well being in also a way to combat stress of aging. It is not surprising that feeling good is related to physical well being. With depression, one may seek ways of damaging oneself, especially men who are more susceptible to suicide perhaps because they feel more depressed and alone. Seeking professional help of a psychiatrist or counselling helps one to look at his life and its dimensions from a different perspective which may aid in achieving inner peace and salvation. Holding group activities with people of the same age group facing similar issues can also help an individual in gaining valuable insight and perhaps facilitate in overcoming his/ her limitations. A few years back, signing up with an old-age home to spend the twilight years of ones life was considered a disgraceful idea. But not so any more. With the breakup of joint families and more and more of the young brigade choosing to live and work away from their parents, old-age homes have become the obvious choice of Indias geriatric population. Cashing in on this trend, major metros in the country, including Bangalore, have witnessed a sudden proliferation of old-age homes in recent years. Homes for the elderly today are a far cry from the dark and dismal dwellings of the past. Rechristened as retirement homes, these swanky homes are fully furnished with all the amenities that include exclusive clubhouse, library, dining facilities and sporting activity centres. One such place, the Eventide Home in Whitefield, offers an independent self-contained accommodation, and residents are expected to make arrangements for food and other services, in a way ensuring that they have a sense of dignity and self-reliance. An excerpt from an article on Positive Ageing