AGE & STAGE

Grandson : Grandpa, to keep in good health, you should do brisk walking. Grandpa : Sonny, at this age and stage, it is risk walking. Grandson : Once you talked about a cattle ring. Grandpa : I have loosened its strings. Grandson : You are fast growing older. Grandpa : Yes, at times, I need to use your shoulder. Grandson : You should sit out and take sun heat. Grandpa : Before that, I have to think, how to digest wheat. Grandson ; With lot of talking you tease. Grandpa : Excuse me, let me first go to ease. Grandson : At first, you should lighten the bulb. Grandpa : Better, you should not go to ultra-modern club. Grandson : I am sorry. In talking to you, I have been rash. Grandpa : Don’t worry, Sonny. I consider all that trash.

ONCE LOST – NOT REGAINED
Uncle Nephew Uncle Nephew Uncle Nephew Uncle Nephew : : : : : ; : : You had told me that the cheque you are giving me is from your current account. There was no current in the account. Your cheque bounced back. Uncle, what do you do when there is no electric current in your house. I follow the alternate source. I start the generator. In this case also you should have tapped the alternate source. I did that. But………….. You had the illumination you desired from an alternate source. But what about the current account current? You know that electric current missed during a certain period can’t be regained. : : : :

MY COUNTRY : THIS ALSO HAPPENS!
Friend (1) Friend (2) Friend (1) Friend (2) When I said, “I am proud of my country”, you kept mum. Didn’t react! The other side of the coin is baffling. Baffling! What ? We boast of keeping record of every ball delivered and played in the game of cricket There are long sessions devoted on television. But media’s reference to the fact that in every 24-hour, three peasants in Maharashtra commit suicide because of dire economic conditions is lost sight of. Hardly being paid the requisite attention. Friend (1) : You are right. It is an appalling truth. In general, what do you observe? Friend (2) : Compensations and subsidies are announced. There is no convincing system to check that they are being received by the genuine persons. Friend (1) : And what more? Friend (2) : Our leaders can make false promises. There is no audit system on the promises made and actual performance accomplished. Friend (1) : My dear friend, we say sacred Ganges and Yamuna. None bothers to check the pollution effectively. I agree, all this is shameful.

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DEMOCRACY REDEFINED
Politician (1) : Why are you speaking so boastfully? Politician (2) : Because I am in the ruling party. Politician (1) : Your boasting will change into roasting. Politician (2) : How? Politician (1) : The latest news is that your ruling party has become rolling party. Politician (2) : How? Politician (1) : Opposition has won the no-confidence motion against your ruling party. Politician (2) : Opposition always want to be in position. In a democracy, why create opposition? Politician (1) : To remind the party in position not to lose vision. Politician (2) : I tell you that the party which comes into position will soon have motions. Politician (1) : Why? Politician (2) : All politicians think alike. Position and opposition is the game in democracy where match continues for ever. Politician (1) : All that at the cost of public development. The democracy needs to be redefined. Defined : Democracy is the government by the people, of the people and for the people. Redefined : Democracy is the game of destabilization of the politicians, by the politicians and for the politicians played with public money jeopardizing public development.

SHADOW RELATIONSHIP
Friend (1) : Friend (2) : Friend (1) : Friend (2) : Friend (1) : Friend (2) : Friend (1) : Friend (2) : Friend (1) : How is our friend Bharat? How is he in his family? Bharat is as usual almost fine. But he has “shadow relationship” with his three elder brothers who are economically much better off than Bharat. What is “Shadow Relationship”? Shadow relationship occurs when one party asserts that he is related but the other party faintly recognizes that relationship. Such a position occurs even on national level when the relationship changes. How? At the time of elections, there exists a relationship between the would be leader and the voters. When the results are out this changes into shadow relationship. You are true. These days, the general experience is that the leader hardly recognizes his voters whereas voters go on harping on the theme that he belongs to them.

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DOWRY RETURNABLE
(Bank Officer and a prospective client for loan taking at a bank) Client : Your rate of interest of 12% on personal loans is very fat. Can’t you make it slim? I have to check up with the beauty parlour. Beauty Parlour! Yes Sir. For such matters our Head Office is the Beauty Parlour. (After few days) Has there been any response from your Head Office. Yes please. Head Office advice is that slimming the interest rates depend on the position of the bridegroom side. Bridegroom side position! Yes Sir. If your loan requirement is Rs. 25 lakhs plus, and for a sufficiently long period, slimming the interest rate may be considered. You may have the benefit of having a slim bride i.e. loan along with slim interest rate for a long period. (Smilingly) Are you giving dowry or personal loans? Modern Dowry offered from a bank on returnable basis. This is with the expectation that you will not allow the bride to become fat and keep in slim and trim condition How? By keeping the outstanding balance loan and interest amount at the desired slim level.

Officer : Client : Officer : Client : Officer : Client : Officer :

Client : Officer : Client : Officer :

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