NASAL ART BENEFITS FONT LOVE DRUM + BASICS MEATS FROM ME TO YOU HIKE THE PIKE

WEEKLYDIG.COM GIVINGISTHENEWRECEIVING FREE12.10.08-12.17.08
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totally laSt MiNute, doWN to tHe WiRe, May Not Get it SHiPPed iN tiMe, But it’S tHe tHouGHt tHat CouNtS
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COVER ARTIST | Anke Weckmann
lives in London and has been working
as a freelance illustrator since she
graduated in 2005. She spends all of
her time drawing and drinking tea and
couldn’t imagine anything better. Her
drawings have appeared in magazines,
books, on greeting cards and T-shirts.
You can see more of her work at
linotte.net
If you’re a local artist interested in
submitting work for our cover or for
the Dig This spread, send samples to
Tak Toyoshima, at tak@weeklydig.com.
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VOL 10 + ISSUE 49
DEAR READER,
You’re being stretched between a tough economy and guilt about your consumerist culture on
one hand, and a desire to help jump-start the economy and give the obligatory token of love
on the other. Those conficting instincts are hitting some of your fellow human beings pretty
hard, since three people have died in shopping-related accidents this year.
So, in the interest of survival, here’s the holiday gift guide for everyone on your list, from
your uncle to your coworker to your lover. And if that’s not enough for ya, check out the
expanded Dig That section, which reviews all the DVDs you can rip from the shelves and cling
to your bosom. The Department of Commerce cooks up the gift of easy recipes from your
favorite local chefs. And we grinches in the News section stuff your stocking with lumps of
coal: toll hikes and pink slips.
And here’s a helpful holiday tip: Don’t buy wasteful wrapping paper! Just cut up your
old clothes (wash them frst) then wrap your presents with them! It’s like giving two gifts!
Wait … no. Scratch that. Donate your old jeans to Goodwill, and wrap your presents with your
favorite stylin’ weekly. Because this rag will look great wrapped around whiskey rocks or a new
vibrator (guess which one’s for your uncle?!).
CARA BAYLES | CARA@WEEKLYDIG.COM
We don’t want to get in
the middle of it … oh
wait, we already are.
Dear Weekly Dig,
In last week’s quality-of-life index (Bean Coun-
ter, 12.3.08), you mentioned that the Gypsy Bar
and my peers at Emerson College were having
a dispute over smoking turf. As an Emersonian
who values her lung capacity, I am not one of
these kids being sent to $40,000 higher educa-
tion, only to stand outside in the cold and kill
myself slowly.
However, I, too, have a beef with the Gypsy
Bar folks. When their patrons leave, they pro-
ceed out to the street and often begin yelling
at each other. This would be fne if it weren’t in
the middle of the night on weekdays. Between
them, the suitemates and the random 1am
construction, every evening I end up stuffng
my ears and burying my very well-educated
head in my pillows, in an attempt to get some
rest before the next day of classes.
In the spirit of the holidays, please, people:
Between 2 and 6am, cordially SHUT UP.
LAuRA
BOSTOn
Media Farm gets dark
and angry, is accused of
being fuffy ...
Dear Farmers,
You managed to base an entire anti-fuff article
on the false and unsupported assumption that
“most emailed” article lists refect the most-
read articles (Media Farm, 12.3.08). Why would
someone email an article on the Mumbai at-
tacks that anyone could read about anywhere?
Surely people email a story to someone else
only after reading many other stories.
It is similarly disingenuous to bash articles
based on their subject matter rather than
their merit in presenting it. What is inherently
“asinine” about people being interested in: the
most signifcant cultural technology of our time;
workplace-related health; the re-evaluation of
standardized testing in academe; the amazing
abilities of animals; and the quest for cheap fun
in a historically bad economy? The only thing
inherently asinine is your derogatory descrip-
tions of these subjects.
Congratulations on being the fuff you
pretend to de-fuff.
JR
VIA EMAIL
PS Awesome in-depth investigative report
on fake dangerous toys a couple pages later
(Kiddie Kroakers, 12.3.08). Hard-hitting, serious
journalism at its best.
… and right.
I feel like that (Media Farm, 12.3.08) is what I
am thinking 90 percent of the time when I look
right at the “most read”/”most emailed” stories
on the Times website.
Thanks!
CLAIRE
VIA EMAIL
Send your thoughts to letters@weeklydig.com
or 242 East Berkeley St., 2nd Flr., Boston, MA
02118. All letters may be edited for length,
clarity and accuracy. Please include all contact
information.
this WEEK
NEWS
Senators who are leaving you /
How many CVS stores are in
your neighborhood? / Media Farm
gets with the giving
DEPARTMENT OF COMMERCE
The Dig’s guide to gifts that are
in-stock and awaiting your
purchase / Milton Station / Purses
to make friends green with envy
EATS + DRINKS
Second Glass’ guide to gifting wine /
Give the give of meat /
LUPEC: brunch bloodfest /
BeerAdvocate: Trinity IPA
MUSIC
Bob Diesel’s disco in the list /
Drum & Bass DJ Adam F in the mix /
The Wandas get plugged / Big Bear
freaks you out
FILM
We Doubt it’ll do much for Streep /
Helvetica—a design revolution /
Cadillac Records gets some love
ARTS
826 Boston auction is a
must-attend event / Stella member
chats us up / Expanded holiday
Dig That!
EXIT POLLS
Tibetan scarves and Zubaz
ONLiNE
Recipes to satiate the carnivore
on your list
Dear Pink-Fleece-Jacket-Clad Yuppie
Bunghole I encountered Nov. 19th at
Centre and Green streets in JP:
When you deliberately parked your lit-
tle black car directly across the crosswalk,
totally blocking it and its wheelchair ramp,
and I calmly said, “It’s illegal to park in a
crosswalk,” and you irrelevantly said, “I’m
picking up my dry cleaning,” and I calmly
replied, “It’s rude, dangerous and illegal to
park in a crosswalk,” and you irrelevantly
said, “Thank you,” while continuing toward
the dry cleaning place, and I calmly replied,
“Fuck you,” I did not mean it literally. I
am clarifying this because you obviously
live such an entitled life you are probably
unused to being challenged and might not
understand such terms. Here is what I mean
by a metaphorical “fuck you.” While you
were in the shop, I took a cellphone photo
of your illegally parked car with its New
Jersey license plate. Now, it’s possible that
someone who drives so badly actually is
from New Jersey and feeling right at home
here. But I doubt someone would come all
the way from Jersey just to do dry cleaning.
No, it’s much more likely you bought a
condo up here but kept your out-of-state
registration to get cheaper insurance—in-
surance you probably need a lot, being a
reckless yuppie bunghole. Now, I could be
wrong. But I’ll let the cops, the RMV and
state insurance offcials who love to crack
down on scoffaws sort out my little photo.
I get that my life is far less important to
you than getting stains out of your jogging
shorts. But your privilege to drive is far less
important to me than either of them.
Sincerely,
White As You, But One Million Times
Less Yuppie
Send your anonymous gripes and grouses
to letters@weeklydig.com, or to
Dig Department of Gripes, 242 E. Berkeley St.,
2nd Flr., Boston, MA 02118. Crybaby.
LETTERS
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Bribe-taking and sexual assault charges aside, the Massachu-
setts State Senate has seen some changes this election year,
and four state senators have opted not to run for reelection on
their own accord. Senators Robert Antonioni, Edward Augustus,
Robert Creedon Jr. and Pam Resor are leaving the State House.
Last Thursday in the Senate chamber, the senators and
their colleagues reminisced on sessions past. Senate President
Therese Murray welcomed the congregation with three bangs
of her gavel. “Today, we salute four senators,” she said before the
ceremonial goodbyes began.
Sen. Edward Augustus Jr., D-Worcester, decided to move on
after two terms in offce. Augustus, who at age 24 began his
political career as the youngest person to head the Worces-
ter School Committee, made public education a focus of his
senatorial career. Murray applauded his efforts to increase
school funding and reduce the number of high school dropouts.
Augustus, who currently chairs the Election Laws Committee,
couldn’t make it to the goodbye and a letter was read on his
behalf. “I leave offce with great pride and comfort in the knowl-
edge that Massachusetts leads the world in fostering a more
inclusive, tolerant and just society,” he wrote, alluding to the
Legislature’s defeat of a proposed constitutional amendment to
repeal gay marriage this past May. “On that day, Massachusetts
reaffrmed its historic role as the conscience of our nation.” Au-
gustus’ seat has been flled by the election of Millbury Democrat
Michael Moore.
Sen. Pamela Resor, D-Acton, chairwoman of the Environ-
ment, Natural Resources and Agriculture Committee, served in
the House from 1991 until she switched to the Senate in 1999.
During the farewell, she was lauded for her environmental fer-
vor, which helped this past session to be a watershed for green
matters. Resor, the frst woman ever elected to the Senate from
her district, was described as knowing that you don’t have to be
the loudest person in the room to be the most persuasive.
Last week, approximately 100 concerned
Bostonians attended a meeting hosted
by City Councilors Salvatore LaMattina
and Bill Linehan about the Massachusetts
Turnpike Authority’s planned toll increases.
City Councilors Stephen Murphy, Michael
Ross and Sam Yoon, as well as Mayor
Menino, also attended. Menino expressed
his disappointment with the Turnpike
Authority. “The people and businesses of
Boston were not considered or consulted
before planning to radically increase tolls
in and around our city,” he said.
The tolls would be jacked up from
$3.50 to $7 for the Ted Williams and
Sumner tunnels. Residents of Eastie and
the North End would not be directly
affected by the hike, since they beneft
from a resident discount (which predates
the Big Dig) that allows them to go
through the tunnels for 40 cents.
But Joanne Anzalone, president of the
North End Chamber of Commerce and
owner of Anzalone Realty, testifed that
the quality of life for residents depends
on local businesses. “It concerns the entire
North End, both from a residential and
commercial standpoint. You can’t separate
the two. We don’t want
our businesses closing
down. Then we’d have
empty storefronts, and
that affects our real
estate value,” she told
the Dig. “You cannot
balance the books of the
Mass. Turnpike Author-
ity on the backs of the
residents of the North
End, South Boston and
East Boston.”
Others who voiced concerns included
members of the Taxi Drivers Association.
After deducting the toll charges from
fares, one driver claimed he’d “have to
work for nothing because of the misman-
aged Mass. Turnpike Authority.” Yet an-
other issue raised was that of nonprofts
whose volunteers may not be able to
contribute as much if the toll increases go
into effect.
LaMattina said he’d received com-
plaints from business owners who were
concerned their businesses would suffer,
as customers would be less inclined to
pay a $7 toll to patronize their favorite
store or restaurant. “This is
an attack on my neighbor-
hood,” LaMattina said.
But, as the Turnpike
is a state organization,
there’s little the Boston
City Council can do about
it. “They can voice their
disapproval, but as far as
I know, they don’t have
any powers over the
Turnpike Authority,” says
Mac Daniel, spokesman for
the Turnpike Authority, the body that will
vote on the toll hike. “That’s not to say
that their voice isn’t important.”
The board approved the hike in a pre-
liminary vote last month, but they are re-
quired by law to hold two public hearings
before they make a decision (last week’s
rally was not an offcial Turnpike hearing).
The Pike is holding four in the next month,
with one in Boston this Wednesday. “A
lot of people think these hearings are all
wish-wash,” says Daniel, “but they do
have—and have had—an infuence on
past toll increases.” [LOLLY SPINDLER]
news to us
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“I think they made a
lot of the difference
this year. I think
they’re essential.”
---
Sen. John Kerry talking
about students voting for
Barack Obama, without a hint
of where-were-you-in-2004
bitterness. Really. 12.2.08
“I think it was a mistake
for him to get rid of
it. I thought that whole
Western, rugged look was
really working for him.
For some reason, maybe
because it was scratchy
when he kissed his wife,
he was forced to get rid
of it, but we’re deeply
disappointed with the
loss of the beard.”
---
President-elect Obama on his
secretary of commerce nominee,
Gov. Bill Richardson, who shaved.
12.3.08


Bye Bye, Beacon hill
Four senators step down without scandal
BY ISIS MADRID
more >> 6
Toll hike on the Pike
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A nationwide report accusing CVS
Caremark Corp. of substandard and
prejudiced practices spurred several
activists to express outrage over the
local implications of discrimination by
the nation’s largest drugstore chain at a
press conference last week.
“We are concerned about the lack of
CVS stores in low-income neighborhoods
and neighborhoods of color,” said Karen
Payne, president of the Boston NAACP. “CVS
needs to become a responsible partner.”
The 40-page “Cure CVS” report
released by the labor coalition Change
to Win (CtW), results from a 14-month
investigation of CVS stores throughout
the US. The study found that in Greater
Boston, there are nearly three times as
many CVS stores per person in neigh-
borhoods with a 90-plus-percent white
population than in neighborhoods that are
more than 90 percent people of color, and
fewer stores per person in neighborhoods
with median annual household incomes
below $40,000 than in those with median
incomes above $80,000.
Eva Millona, executive director of the
Massachusetts Immigrant and Refugee
Advocacy Coalition, explained that the
lack of available CVS stores in immigrant
neighborhoods contradicts CVS’ purported
mission. The report found that fewer of
the newly established MinuteCare clin-
ics—which are advertised as an afford-
able alternative to a doctor’s offce or
emergency room—operate in low-income
communities and communities of color.
Millona stressed that these are critical for
immigrants “who are afraid to go to the
hospital because they are afraid that their
status might be reported.”
CVS spokesperson Michael DeAngelis
offered this statement: “The allegation
that we concentrate stores in white neigh-
borhoods compared to our competitors
is simply untrue … CVS holds the number
one or number two market share in eight
of the top 10 US markets with the larg-
est non-white populations.” Boston isn’t
included in his list of regional markets.
CtW organizer Kate Titus added that
CVS overcharges customers, improperly
disposes of medical records and carries
expired products. At the press conference,
a table displayed expired CVS products in-
cluding milk, baby formula and children’s
Maalox, which CtW had collected the
previous day from fve of 10 Boston CVS
stores they’d visited.
“The proof is in the milk,” said CtW
organizer Faron McLurkin. No one dared to
take a sip. [ALEXANDRA DEDNAh]
cVS doesn’t care about black people?
Sen. Harriette Chandler, D-Worcester, reminded the crowd that Resor’s career began à
la Erin Brockovich, when in 1981, she served on the Acton Board of Health and soon after
as a selectman fghting contamination of the town’s water supply by W.R. Grace Co. In her
closing remarks, Resor begged her colleagues to “please, please do everything needed to
protect resources throughout Massachusetts and make it a truly green commonwealth.”
Resor’s successor is Jamie Eldridge, an Acton-born Democrat who managed Resor’s reelec-
tion campaign in 1998 and who is currently serving as a state representative.
Sen. Robert Antonioni, D-Leominster, served two terms in the House before joining
the Senate in 1992. He co-chairs the Education Committee, and Murray cheered his
efforts in education, specifcally his aid in procuring $7 million for public schools and
support for special education programs statewide.
Stephen M. Brewer, D-Barre, cited Antonioni’s role as chairman during a 10-hour
hearing that defeated the death penalty. Antonioni explained his decision to move on
was inspired by his sister’s suggestion that he “get a life.” Antonioni will be replaced by
Jennifer Flanagan, D-Leominster, who’s currently a state rep.
Sen. Robert Creedon Jr., D-Brockton, a state representative from 1969 until 1972,
joined the Senate in 1997 when his brother, Michael Creedon, gave up his seat to ac-
cept a judicial appointment. He’s a longtime chair of the Judiciary Committee, and is
leaving to work as clerk of courts in Plymouth County.
Sen. Richard Moore, D-Uxbridge, had the chamber yakking it up as he joked about
Creedon’s long-winded tangents, his “old school” political cred and his media wariness.
“What you need is openness and, frankly, we had more of it then than we have now,”
Creedon said of the media on Beacon Hill, despite his own “non-relationship with the
press.” Creedon will be succeeded by Thomas Kennedy,, D-Brockton, who declared his
candidacy within minutes of Creedon’s retirement announcement back in April.
The senators’ stepping down opens up chairmanships of key committees like the
Judiciary (a powerful committee that must pass any bill to change state law, and
where bills often go to die). It also offers fresh blood (or blood transferred from the
House), in a state where incumbents are rarely challenged and seldom defeated. The
senators offcially step down when their replacements are sworn in, on January 7th.
from >> 5
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Designer Apparel for
1/3 of the Original Price
482 Columbus Avenue
Boston, MA 02118
617-236-5838
www.armoireboston.com
South End’s Fastest Growing
Consignment Shop
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MIDDLE-AGED WHITE GUYS who
happen to be media moguls get
to have all the fun, don’t they?
While we literate peons have to
scourge to fnd credible sources of
information, they shuffe our
conglomerated dailies
around, passing them
to each other like
Christmas presents.
First, noted
Australian-conserva-
tive-mogul-with-
more-money-than-
God Rupert Murdoch
gave Boston Herald
publisher and Mur-
doch clone Pat Purcell
executive ownership of
Ottaway Newspapers Inc. (“Merry Hanuk-
kah, Pat!” he allegedly said). Ottaway
includes local dailies like the Cape Cod
Times, Nantucket’s Inquirer and Mirror,
and the Standard-Times in New Bedford.
Ottaway was a bonus starter-pack that
came with the Wall Street Journal when
News Corp. purchased it last year.
Of course, Purcell and Murdoch are
old pals, since Citizen Murdoch bought
the Herald in 1985. Then in 1988, eeeevil
Sen. Ted Kennedy pointed out that
Murdoch, who owns Fox Broadcasting
(and thereby our local Fox affliate), was
breaking a 1975 Federal Communica-
tions Commission antimonopoly rule
(which was since “relaxed” in 2007) that
prohibits ownership of a TV station and a
paper in the same local market. The paper
continued to shit money for a couple of
years under Murdoch’s reign, until 1994,
when he sold the Herald to Purcell. And
the Herald is still shitting money today!
And now those two knuckleheads are to-
gether again, and rumor has it Murdoch
might try to save the Herald (unlike the
last time he had anything to do with it)!!!
The more papers are shuffed among a
select group of media moguls, the more
things stay the same.
Also, last week, Stephen Mindich and
son bought out Spanish-language weekly
El Planeta. Phoenix Media, Mindich’s baby
has been an investor in El Planeta for
years, and already prints and distributes it.
Bradley Mindich is claiming that
El Planeta has a circulation of 50,000,
and that’s what their media kit—which
boasts the Verifed circulation auditor’s
seal—says as well … of course, it also says
“circulation may vary week to week.” But
the most recent Verifed reports, from
March 2008, indicate El Planeta’s circula-
tion for New England totaled 34,431.
You have to hand it to Mindich: Niche
markets are a smart investment right
now, and there are over 400,000 Spanish
speakers in the Commonwealth … that’s
a signifcant “niche.” And El Planeta has
been such a success story, with Javier
Marin and Jon Urruzuno launching the
weekly out of Brookline in 2004 and
distributing it out of the back of their
van to offer much-needed local Spanish-
language reporting … so why infate the
numbers for something that’s already
impressive and important? We guess
stuffng the pants of your circulation
fgures with the tube sock of a 10,000 or
so (that metaphor’s a gift for you, Mind-
ich) is meant to impress advertisers, but
would you be seduced by a circulation
that “varies”?
AND SPEAKING OF wobbling numbers, did
anyone else check out last week’s Phoenix
insert tribute to 101.7 FM, aka, WFNX? The
Phoenix reserved a full-page ad in itself,
congratulating FNX (which is part of the
Phoenix Media empire) on it’s 25th birth-
day. Isn’t that kind of like writing yourself
a love letter?
SO, YOU MIGHT be wondering, with all
these wealthy dudes spending cash on
presents for themselves, what’s there for
a pleb like me?
Well, here’s a little something from
boston.com: Their eminent tech writer/
geeky dreamboat Hiawatha Bray is back,
with a new webicle! The video isn’t as
funny as his last one (in which he scoffed
at people waiting in line to buy the new
iPhone with a pleasant, lilting hatred),
but this one does feature him aimlessly
documenting random boring shit on
Boston Common, armed with a backpack,
fag pin, two cameras and a disturbingly
wide grin. The voiceover for the video has
its moments, from “Believe it or not, this
is Boston in December. I’m saving this
gorgeous day for posterity … with not
one, but two video cameras, each small
enough to ft in a shirt pocket” to “Still,
the MinoHD takes marvelous pictures. If
you’ve only got one shirt pocket, this is
the video camera to carry.”
But, because Bray does his job (unlike,
say, Alex Beam, who, in case you care,
hates dangerous toys lists and bought his
son a slingshot … apparently Beam’s job
description is still “cranky old man”), most
of the video is a legit review comparing
two gadgets. We recommend seeing it
once for reals and then with the sound
off; on mute, it feels like you’re watching
someone with too many toys have a very
pleasant acid trip. And isn’t that what the
holiday season is all about?
TIPS? THOUGHTS?
MEDIAFARM@WEEKLYDIG.COM
“We guess stuffing
the pants of your
circulation figures
with the tube sock of
a 10,000 or so (that
metaphor’s a gift
for you, Mindich)
is meant to impress
advertisers.”
media farm
yankee SwaP
BY MEDIA FARM


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A few weeks ago, I was laid off. The organization I worked for lost a
few million dollars (don’t you just hate it when that happens?) and
had to cut 30 jobs.
Of course, I’m not alone in my current predicament. As economic
times worsen and then worsen some more—a 20-year veteran at the
Massachusetts Division of Unemployment Assistance told me that
the month of November was the “worst she’s ever seen it”—com-
panies have been laying off employees at a rate higher than that of
teenage pregnancy in Gloucester. These days, if you haven’t been laid
off yourself, you know someone who has been.
Unfortunately, many companies are new to the mass-fring scene.
Nonprofts, for example, known for their touchy-feely handling of
employees, have no idea how to manage their new responsibilities—
which is why a few “don’ts” may help guide them as they continue to
crush hopes and dreams.
For starters, don’t lay employees off on a national holiday. Or, say,
Election Day. On November 4th, the agency I worked for announced
that they might have to/probably would be eliminating half the staff.
Talk about a buzz kill. Let’s just say that there were two reasons I
drank an entire bottle of champagne on election night.
Don’t make your employees sit through weeks or months of lim-
bo. For an entire week, my former coworkers and I anxiously played
Guess Who’s Getting Canned (as in “It’s gonna be me.” “No, let me
tell you why it’s gonna be me.”) If I have an ulcer, it’s on my previous
employer … though after stripping me of my health insurance, what
the fuck do they care?
Another piece of advice: Don’t tell some employees and not oth-
ers who’s getting the axe prior to the axing. This seems obvious, but
then, a lot of what I’m writing seems obvious. You’re shutting down
my income, my insurance, my daily purpose and my future plans. Do
you really have to ruin the few friendships I managed to create while
working for you?
Lose the armed guards. Seriously. When a friend of mine was laid
off last week, a dude with a gun on his belt escorted him to his offce,
watched as he gathered his things, and then walked him out of the
building. My friend had given four years of his life to that place. Not
to mention the fact that thus far, he hadn’t tried to kill any of his
coworkers. Didn’t he deserve better?
One fnal tip: When you show your employees the door, also show
them a modicum of respect. Save the condescending condolences for
the wife you verbally abuse at home.
Times are shitty. We all have to do our part to make them a little
less so. And while I know that there’s really no good way to throw
employees out on the street, you may still be able to salvage your
reputation—and your human decency.
SOAPBOX BY jULIE BOgART
The MBTA has converted two cars on the Red Line to hold only
four seats in a car for the elderly and the disabled. The rest
of the general public will suffer great paranoia that is only
heightened by the existence of the anti-groping effort being
made by the MBTA. MINUS 1
Run out and get your Bratz dolls now, as the dolls will be
discontinued after Christmas. MGA Entertainment lost their
legal battle to Mattel and was ordered to discontinue their
inexplicably popular product. EVEN
The construction at Copley Station has been halted indefnitely
as the installation of elevator shafts cracked the foundation
of Old South Church. Church services, including a wedding, will
continue as scheduled. That’s good news, since the last thing
the MBTA needs is an angry bridezilla on its hands. MINUS 2
Orders of chicken wings have gone down with the recession.
That’s one drastic cure to America’s obesity problem. PLUS 1
In a spectacular display of irony, Lorraine Henderson, the
regional director of Homeland Security, Customs and Border
Protection, has been charged with hiring undocumented im-
migrants to clean her home. EVEN
Well, it ain’t murder, but OJ Simpson has been sentenced to
at least 15 years in prison for trying to steal back things he
claimed had been stolen from him. EVEN
Boston might fnally get fying cars!
In just three weeks, Woburn is test-
ing its frst “roadable aircrafts.”
With any luck we’ll fnally ditch the
quickly deteriorating Ts and hitch
us some high-powered fyin’ machines. MINUS 1
A photograph of Worcester native and Obama speechwriter
Jon Favreau cupping the boob of a cardboard Hillary Clinton
cut-out materialized on Facebook last week. Clinton spokes-
man Philippe Reines’ response? “Senator Clinton is pleased to
learn of Jon’s obvious interest in the State Department, and is
currently reviewing his application.” Can this administration
get any wackier? PLUS 1
Speaking of, Clinton’s vacated Senate seat is causing quite a
stir, as everyone likes Caroline Kennedy (especially Red Sox
fans), but Fran Drescher (aka the Nanny) would gladly take the
seat, in case anyone cares. EVEN
Former State Sen. Dianne Wilkerson appears in court for fed-
eral arraignment and … urp … bail review, proving yet again
that a $23,500 bribe is not worth a $50,000 bail bond. Hey,
and good luck fnding an impartial jury for this one! MINUS 1
Most of the money raised by former Gov. Mitt Romney’s politi-
cal action committee has not gone toward supporting other
GOP candidates (par for the course), but toward hiring his own
staff for a possible 2012 presidential run. Can you imagine a
primary debate between him and Palin? Between his equivo-
cating and her tenuous grasp on the English language, logical
thought would spontaneously combust. MINUS 1
ThIS wEEk’S ToTaL: MINUS 4
LaST wEEk’S ToTaL: MINUS 23
The Dig’s
quality-of-life index
BEAN COUNTER
Fire me the right way
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commerce commerce
dept
of
dept
of
yelpstop | milton station green land | canopy verde eats | charcuterie lupec | bloody mary second glass | last-minutes saviors
coMpIled By JaMIe granoFF | WrItten By dIg staFF
IllustratIons By ellen crensHaW
Whether en route to a party,
the family dinner or that
special celebratory date, chances are
you may have forgotten someone on
your list. That, or you’re waiting for a
mid-month paycheck. Whatever your
reasons, we’re here to make the shopping
schlep as painless as possible. Online ordering
will take some advance planning, but
procrastinators can’t be choosers.
gifts to compliment
impromptu consumption
the essential
last-minute

holiday

shopping
guide
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Spork | $3
Before “internet” and “liger,” there was “spork,”
everyone’s favorite portmanteau. Though one of the
only items used almost exclusively in schools and
prisons, it’s also perfect for slurping Ramen at your desk.
[Available at The Museum of Useful Things, themut.com]
WrITEr’S BLoCk NoTEpAD | $10
This colorful assortment of paper will make a
neighboring trashcan more appealing when
your aspiring novelist coworker gets stuck on
Chapter 37. Hey, at least you don’t have to hear
about the story (maybe).
[Available at Black Ink, 5 Brattle St., Cambridge.
617.497.1221. blackinkboston.com]
CArvE-yoUr-oWN CArD | $14
Whittle your own tidings with these wooden
postcards, using keys (or other sharp object) to
hand-carve your message. Your mailman may suffer
a splinter, but that newbie in accounting might
fnally respond to your Gchat invites.
[Available at the ICA Store, 100 Northern Ave.,
Boston. 617.478.3100. icastore.org]
“BUy yoUr frIEND A DrINk” gIfT CArD | pRiCeS vARY
Drink for the job you want! pink slip-proof your position by
buying your cubicle neighbor a cocktail. These gift cards are
redeemable at bars and restaurants like Good Life and Om. Make
it a two-martini lunch and get one for yourself, too.
[Available at BuyyourfriendADrink.com]
DISAppEArINg CIvIL LIBErTIES MUg | $9.99
A great “fuck you” gift for that crotchety coworker
who’s still angry John McCain lost. The Bill of Rights
inscribed on the side of this mug vanishes when you
pour a hot liquid inside it.
[Available at Newbury Comics, newburycomics.com]
ITTy BITTy BUDDHA | $7.95
That peace-loving, beatnik colleague will def-
nitely appreciate a small Buddha that comes with
incense, incense holder, a book about Buddhism (so
he’ll fnally know what the hell he’s talking about)
and packaging that turns into a portable shrine.
[Available at Hidden Sweets, 25 Brattle St.,
Cambridge. 617.497.2600. hiddensweets.com]
LIgHT-BLUE CrySTAL pEN | $8.95
Like, oh my god! This pen totally will make rainbows and
sparkles dance around the room! is that coworker just too
perky before you’ve had your second cup of coffee? Smack
her over the head with this gem.
[Available at papyrus at the prudential Center,
800 Boylston St., Boston. 617.262.6520. papyrusonline.com]
DA BoMB STICky NoTES | $1.50
For the hopelessly uncool, these sticky notes will ex-
pand slang vocabulary and teach one how to properly
use “da bomb” in a sentence. Bonus gift to you, know-
ing it’ll irk your cube-mates even more.
[Available at knock knock, knockknock.biz]


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family
(nuclear)
CHrISTMAS CHoCoLATE BoX | $18
Walking through the door come Christmas, divert atten-
tion from your new neck tattoo with a box of chocolates.
especially these little guys—in a cute wooden box, you get
16 chocolates and their signature mouse. pair it with some
Cabernet to be extra lush. And buy a turtleneck.
[Available at LA Burdick Chocolate, 52-D Brattle St., Cam-
bridge. 617.491.4340. burdickchocolate.com]
WHISkEy SToNES | $15
Because your grizzled Grandpa (or Grandma!) loves whiskey on
the rocks but hates it when those rocks melt and make the drink
all watery and prissy. Whiskey Stones retain the cold to keep a
glass-o-booze at the perfect temperature, and they're completely
reusable, so Gramps can get crunk on a regular basis.
[Available at Lekker Unique Home furnishings, 1317 Washington
St., Boston. 617.542.6464. lekkerhome.com]
“yoU ANNoy ME” 8” X 10” prINT | $50
Give the gift of truth to your tween-angsty
sibling. Local artist Kati Rowley’s pen and ink
drawing with fngerprinted text is available
matted and ready to frame. With love.
[Available at koo De kir, koodekir.com]
vINAIgrETTE SET | $72.80
Assist in the kitchen, even from afar! For the cook, this package
of olive oil from Greece and vinaigrette from Modena, italy, plus
salt mix for pastas and salads, black pepper from Madagascar and
olive-wood salad utensils, is sure to delight.
[Available at o&Co, 161 Newbury St., Boston. 617.859.8841.
oliviersandco.com]
TEMpUr-pEDIC SLIppErS | $39.99
Like heaven-sent foot pillows, these cush slippers will hug
your mom’s every step. While Tempur-pedic’s bedding
(also cloud-like) may fall outside of your price range,
theeir functional footwear does not.
[Available at Brookstone, 100 Huntington Ave., Boston.
617.267.4308. brookstone.com]
INMAN oASIS gIfT CErTIfICATE | $25
Treat the woman who was in labor with you for 4,789 HOURS to
a 15-minute chair massage and 15-30 minutes of tub time.
[Available at Inman oasis, 243 Hampshire St., Cambridge.
617.491.0176. inmanoasis.com]


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(extended)
frUIT-poWErED ALArM CLoCk | $15
The perfect gift for the future scientist in your
family. it may look like a bomb when it’s as-
sembled, but don’t be mistaken … this toy is
more like DA BOMB! [Cringe—Ed.]
[Available at fat Brain Toys, fatbraintoys.com]
MEN IN DENIM MEN’S
T-SHIrT | $30
Blue-collar family? Let us
rephrase. Blue-blooded paterfa-
milias? Nope, wrong again. How
about: if a T-shirt and jeans are
his standard work uniform, con-
sider getting this for your uncle.
[Available proletariat, 36 JFK St.,
Cambridge. 617.661.3865.
arevolt.netfrms.com]
BUBBLE WrAp CALENDAr | $29.99
This calendar was made for the obsessive-
compulsive or anyone who just gets an
overwhelming satisfaction from popping
things—like your face! Just looking at
them all could make one take off their
shoes and stomp for instant gratifcation,
but nay—just one a day.
[Available at prankplace, prankplace.com]
TABLE SoCCEr fooSBALL | $40
Nieces and nephews alike will relish their time spent with this
foosball table. While inexpensive and convenient for you, it will be a
chance for them to explore competitive sports outside of beer pong.
[Available at Urban outftters, 361 Newbury St., Boston.
617.236.0088. urbanoutftters.com]
MArC JACoBS gEM NECkLACE | $19
Can’t afford that $1,500 Marc Jacobs handbag? Well we’re
bringing your loved ones a very small step closer to those
designer goods. it’s only $19 and your aunt can go around
saying things like, “Watch it, it’s Marc Jacobs.”
[Available at Marc Jacobs, 81 Newbury St., Boston.
617.425.0707. marcjacobs.com]
THoMAS pAUL MATryoSkA rED ToTE | $36
There is something about those little Russian dolls
that really gets people going. Maybe it’s the idea that
you get more bang for your buck. either way, this bag
should be a hit for anyone who loves nesting … dolls.
[Available at grand, 374 Somerville Ave., Somerville.
617.623.2429. grandthestore.com]
HoLLy goLIgHTLy SLEEp MASk | $14
if life were like Breakfast at Tiffany’s, things would be
pretty sweet. Who wouldn’t want to be a classy call girl
with multiple identities that runs away from her family
and still gets a happy ending? With this sleep mask, at
least your granny can dream about it.
[Available at fredfare, fredfare.com]
STICkEr frAMES | $25.95
Say goodbye to your wooden and
plastic frames. These stickers allow
your great-grandmother to have
all your favorite pictures on display
without taking up valuable space.
[Available at paper Source,
338 Boylston St., Boston. 617.536.3444.
paper-source.com]


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host/
hostess
CANDy CANE SHoT gLASSES | $6.95 for set of two
Shot glasses made out of delicious candy cane. The perfect
at-the-ready hostess will delight (and ponder which booze
will work best) when you present her with this functional
and fun spin on glassware.
[Available at kitchenArts, 161 Newbury St., Boston.
617.266.8701. store.kitchenarts.biz]
porT AND CHoCoLATE gIfT BASkET | $49.95
Ring in 2009 with this Dionysian basket of pleasure and
witness subsequent infux of future party invitations. A bottle
of Bogle petit Sirah port with a vosges chocolate bar and a
Café-Tasse bar is perfect for sharing on New Year’s eve.
[Available at Wine gallery, wine-gallery.com]
MINI LED CHANDELIEr | $20
Keep it classy with this mini chandelier. Add ambiance to any
Allston abode instantly with this decorative lighting scheme
that screams aesthetically appealing and friendly to the frugal.
[Available at Joie de vivre, 1792 Mass. Ave., Cambridge.
617.864.8188. joiedevivre.net]
TooTHpICk vooDoo DoLL HoLDEr | $12
Not too excited about that holiday get-together? Be polite
while plotting to destroy with this charming toothpick holder.
Both functional and fun—toy for some, a weapon for others.
[Available at funusual, 8 North Market, Faneuil
Hall Marketplace, Boston. 617.439.8840. funusual.com]
MAD gAB | $32
Board games, especially played while
intoxicated, are crowd pleasers. Designated
driver? Well, your host is still sure to get
a kick out of how absolutely moronic her
party will sound while playing this game.
[Available at The games people play,
1100 Mass. Ave., Cambridge. 617.492.0711.
thegamespeopleplaycambridge.com]
LAvENDEr HAND SoAp | $12
engineered by specialists from “the oldest apothecary
in America,” this soap will leave fresh even the most
Dorito-stained fngers, while the lavender infusion
relaxes your likely wigging-out hostess.
[Available at C.o. Bigelow, Copley place Mall, 100 Hun-
tington Ave., Boston. 617.236.7257. bigelowchemists.com]
pHILLIpS CANDy HoUSE
HoT CoCoA | $6.50
Help heat up your host’s soirée
with hot cocoa from Boston’s oldest
chocolatier. Throw some vanilla Dr.
McGillicuddy’s in the mix, and you
may as well gather outside.
[Available at phillips Candy
House, 818 Morrissey Blvd., Boston.
617.282.2090. phillipschocolate.com]
HANUkkAH CookIE CUTTErS
| $3.95 each
These dreidel, Star of David and
menorah shapes are bound to make
the Jewish-mother-in-training of
your crew go wild. They’re doubly
useful as stencils for an arts and
crafts get-together (read: enlist your
friends to help decorate, drunkenly).
[Available at Crate & Barrel,
199 Boylston St., Chestnut Hill.
617.964.8400. crateandbarrel.com]


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main
squeeze
SEpHorA SCENT SAMpLEr for
HIM AND HEr | $50 each
Taking the guesswork out of
perfumery, this ingenious set
allows your beloved to sample scents
at home (allowing one’s natural
chemistry to also take full effect)
and redeem the enclosed voucher for
the cologne of their choice.
[Available at Sephora, 800 Boylston St.,
Boston. 617.262.4200. sephora.com]
CHoCoLATE TASTINg:
“froM BEAN To BAr” CLASS | $55
Fruity? Spicy? Nutty? Make it a date and
together discover the history, varieties and
processing techniques of the aphrodisiacal
bean. Across the street is the Hotel
Commonwealth. Convenient!
[Available at Boston Center for Adult Education,
5 Commonwealth Ave., Kenmore Sq., Boston.
617.267.4430. bcae.org]

rABBIT HABIT | $82
How considerate will you look when she unwraps
this orgasm-inducing superstar? Time will only tell.
Yes, it’s the vibrator made famous on Sex and the City,
but the Habit is the updated design.
[Available at good vibrations, 308-A Harvard St.,
Brookline. 617.264.4400. goodvibes.com]
ICA BoSToN DUAL MEMBErSHIp | $95
Staring into each other’s eyes while using words like
“visceral experience” and “sensory juxtaposition” is
great intellectual stimulation. With a dual membership,
it’s also a gift to yourself—shh, they’ll never know.
[Available at the ICA, 100 Northern Ave.,
Boston. 617.478.3100. icaboston.org]
fLoyD’S CUT | $26
For those who have yet to get the hint. Floyd’s
is the new game in town—the barber shop
with a hip twist. For the dude, nothing but
nothing beats a face shave, and your girl will
melt with a massage shampoo.
[Available at floyd’s 99, 189 Mass. Ave., Boston.
617.236.4838. foydsbarbershop.com]
STErLINg SILvEr SCrABBLE
LETTEr NECkLACE | $75
every family has one—they email you
Words of the Day and subscribe to eSpN
just for the annual US Scrabble Open.
This adorable necklace will win you points
with the word freak in your fam.
[Available at oak, 31 Gloucester St., Boston.
857.362.7311. oakboston.com]
fLEUr DE LIS CUffLINkS | $56.25
A little fourish never hurt anyone. These
mother of pearl and onyx baubles will add
a little distinction to any French cuff.
[Available at J press, 82 Mt. Auburn St.,
Cambridge. 617.547.9886. jpressonline.com]
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multi-culti/environmentalist
(hippie)
DISCovErINg THE BoSToN HArBor ISLANDS | $17.95
What good environmentalist hasn’t traversed the Harbor islands?
Whether camping on Grape island, building a bonfre on
Spectacle island or spooking yourself at Fort Warren, this
book can tell them how to do it and why.
[Available at Amazon.com]
EArTHopoLy gAME | $24.95
Collect “carbon credits” and trade them
for “clean air” to increase the property
values of your plots. even the game
pieces are natural (e.g., rocks, shells,
lima beans). Boardwalk always needed
some wind turbines.
[Available at greenward, 1776 Mass. Ave.,
porter Sq., Cambridge. 617.395.1338.
greenwardshop.com]
poUCH of 5 rEUSABLE SHoppINg ToTES | $38
When your roommate complains her Odwalla is
sweating through her Jansport, present her with
these fve fauna-print bags. They hold up to 40 pounds
each and roll into a pouch, perfect for spontaneous
bulk granola purchases.
[Available at fiddlehead, 292 Newbury St., Boston.
617.247.1120. fddleheadshop.com]
HEALTHy HoMES CLEANINg SErvICE | pRiCeS vARY
You may not know it, but your apartment is wheezing.
The folks at this eco-friendly maid service want to clean
your space—from a stovetop wipe-down to cobweb re-
moval, even a consultation on how to permanently
detox your chemical-ridden living quarters.
[Available at Healthy Homes Cleaning,
healthyhomescleaning.com. 781.926.0266]
I (HEMp LEAf) HEMp SWEATSHIrT | $49.95
Show off that weed wit with this snuggly alterna-
tive to the hoodie. Never mind that the translation
of this reads “i Hemp Hemp,” or “i Marijuana Leaf
Hemp,” that’s just the herb talking.
[Available at The Hempest, 207 Newbury St., #1,
Boston. 617.421.9944. store.hempest.com]
“BoTToMS Up” ALL NATUrAL
T-SHIrT WITH grApHIC | $60
Green chic and cheeky, check. This soft
T is made with all-organic cotton and
sports a whale wave graphic, embolden-
ing other Greenpeacers to approach.
[Available at Envi, 164 Newbury St.,
Boston. 617.267.3684. shopenvi.com]
SUN JAr | $40
Banish seasonal affective disorder forever with
this solar-powered sunshine-on-tap. Set the
jar outside during the day, and enjoy the jar’s
warm glow at night. Nighttime more your
friend’s speed? There’s a Moon Jar as well.
[Available at greenward, 1776 Mass. Ave.,
Cambridge. 617.395.1338. greenwardshop.com]
THE MICro TErrArIUM froM
UrBAN oUTfITTErS | $6
A mini garden sans indoor worm farm? Sold.
This self-contained ecosystem can sprout your
choice of polka-dotted plant, cacti, herbs, fowers
or a venus fytrap! Give the gift of pesticide-free
insect control this holiday season.
[Available online at Urban outftters,
urbanoutftters.com]
oM pENDANT NECkLACE > SATyA | $48
Your yoga freak friend-set will appreciate this
reminder of the inner peace attained through
the infnite “OM.” its simple sterling silver
construction is bound to match any minimalist’s
wardrobe as well.
[Available at good, 88 Charles St., Boston.
617.722.9200. shopatgood.com]


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#%.42!,
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T
When Robert Frost wrote about “taking the road
less traveled,” we think he was on to something. This
week, we opt for the less-worn path of Boston’s own
divergence of trails, treading lightly on the trolleys of
the Ashmont-Mattapan High Speed Line. Follow us to
Milton Station and see the difference for yourself.
For a little Southern-style satisfaction, yelpers sing
the praises of soul food sensation Mrs. Jones [2255
Dorchester Ave., Dorchester. 617.696.0180]. The smell
alone transports Kim p “back to a Fourth of Ju-ly picnic,
replete with ants, a game of horseshoes [and] the
smell of BBQ,” but it’s the chicken that’s made a repeat
customer of Al N, because they use “wing quarters only—no
messing around with dry, bland, useless breasts.”
Hankering for a slice? The sauce-and-cheese joint of choice
in this nabe is Windy City pizza [516 Gallivan Blvd., Dorchester
Center. 617.265.6666. windypizza.com]. pat B describes their pies
as “hot and delicious with a nice crust,” and the buffalo chicken
dishes have Matt F, Dan M, em C, and Jamie S calling this their
go-to spot.
Wine and cheese? Yes, please! says LeeAnn B about Espirit Du
vin [25 Central Ave., Milton. 617.296.9463], where she picks up
“bread, desserts, balsamic vinegar, cheese, and of course wine!”
The knowledgeable staff makes espirit a destination for vino
newbies, while the Friday wine tasting is a wonderful way to
accelerate your aged-grape education.
For those of you in need of a caffeine fx, The fat Black Cof-
fee Company’s Dot outpost [1170 Washington St., Dorchester.
617.298.1800. fatblackcoffeecompany.com] serves up a solid
cup of fair-trade joe. This “charming grassroots brews-its-own,
Aussie-inspired coffee shop” draws in Kendra S with vanilla iced
lattes, and Jake F downs their delectable hot chocolate, even in
the dead of summer.

HavE you TriEd a diffErEnT paTH laTEly? TEll uS on yElp.Com.
C
anopy verde is taking the saying
“it’s in the bag,” to an entirely new
level. established in the fall of 2008,
this eco-chic handbag company unveiled
its debut line, defned as “modern meets
earth-friendly.” each of the bags is made
from all-natural materials like organic
cotton and bamboo, and only uses chemi-
cal-free embroidery and chrome-free
leather. They come in a variety of colors,
shapes and sizes, like the gym-bag-perfect
Dandelion Duffel or the sizeable Juniper
Tote. This larger handbag has a long
strap, multiple zippered pockets and tiny
wooden feet. The Calamint Clutch is small
enough to carry on your wrist and has a
removable strap.
Linda Wong, founder of Canopy verde,
has always been dedicated to green living.
Growing up in Taiwan, she was taught
the “reuse, recycle” values that she would
later incorporate into her handbag line. To
try and spread the message of practic-
ing eco-friendly techniques even further,
Wong has teamed up with Chinese
manufacturers to construct her bags. The
company also buys the all-natural materi-
als locally, creating demand for those
products in the area.
Canopy verde’s just another way you
can be easy on the earth and the eyes.

[Calamint Clutch and Juniper Tote avail-
able at Envi, 164 Newbury St., Boston.
617.267.3684. shopenvi.com; and Turtle,
619a Tremont St., South end, Boston.
617.266.2610. turtleboston.com. Dandelion
Duffel available at Urban Living Studio, 58
Clarendon St., Boston. 617.247.8150. urban-
livingstudios.com. canopyverde.com]
yelpstop
Canopy Verde
Carrying your goods, greener
By JaMIe granoFF
Milton Station | red line
Fresh footprints lead to fresh pies
By leIgHann Farrelly | Yelp boston
green land green land
Mrs. Jones
Windy City
pizza
Espirit
Du vin
The fat Black
Coffee
Company


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The thought of edible homemade holiday
gifts often brings to mind those heavy,
boozy fruitcakes that sit at the back of the
fridge until easter. This year, for a change
of pace, give the gift that’s sure to be a
conversation starter: cured meat.
employ the French technique of char-
cuterie, the art of making pâtés, terrines,
sausages and the like, to delight your
favorite carnivore with a tasty treat.
“i think charcuterie is a great gift idea;
you can really go a long way at home be-
fore you need any fancy kitchen gadgets,”
chef Chris Bauer of Sel de la Terre says,
“and pork is the king of charcuterie.”
Bauer continues, “i really love using
pork because it not only has tremendous
favor, but it has the ideal fat to protein
ratio that you need for any kind of curing,
and it’s also easy to grind.”
His gift choice for the home-charcutier
is the pork pâté that he currently serves at
the restaurant’s Long Wharf location. “it’s
basically just a ground pork butt, which
has a great ratio of fat to meat, emulsifed
in a food processor or blender with salt
and red wine. it’s really simple, but it’s
really delicious.”
For one of Boston’s foremost charcu-
tiers, chef Jamie Bissonette of Toro, the
chicken rillette is the way to go when you
are in the gift-giving spirit.
“A rillette,” Bissonette informs via
kitchen telephone, “is basically a rough
spread made of puréed meat—tradition-
ally pork. Duck and chicken are also often
used and it is typical to do a conft,” a pro-
cess in traditional French cooking where
the meat is slow-cooked in its own fat. “A
lot of times, i’ll make a rillette as a gift for
other chefs when i’m going to an expo in
another city.”
Another important element of the
charcuterie world is pickled or brine-cured
meats, and the obvious place to turn to for
advice on the subject is Southern-French
specialist Barry Maiden of Hungry Mother.
Maiden’s pickled beef tongue has been a
menu staple since the kitchen opened last
March, and it’s been turning heads and
palates ever since.
“Well, it’s not a true pickle; it’s really
more of a slow braise,” Maiden points
out. For his recipe, he uses calves’ tongues,
which are usually on the smaller side
(two to three pounds), and brines them
overnight to help tenderize the meat
before slow-braising them with spices and
vegetables the next day.
“i do it partly out of respect for the
whole animal, but the tongue just has
such a rich, beefy, full favor. i stumbled
across it this summer when i was working
with a farm selling beef, and it was always
one of the underutilized cuts. i’m really
happy that i’ve been able to turn people
on to it,” Maiden explains. “Like a lot of
charcuterie, people are really intimidated
by it, but it’s just a really great recipe.”
So don’t be scared; skip the homemade
fudge this year and grab some butt or
slip someone you care about the tongue
[Ew—Ed.]. it’s sure to be a gift they’ll hap-
pily digest and fondly remember.

CHECK ouT WEEKlydiG.Com for THE
rECipiES fEaTurEd HErE: CHriS BauEr’S
porK pâTé, JamiE BiSSonETTE’S CHiCKEn
rillETTE, Barry maidEn’S piCKlEd BEEf
TonGuE and THE auTHor’S oWn dEuX
foiE pâTé.
eats + drinks
roundup By Ben WHelan
CharCuterie for CarniVoreS
How to win meaty praise this holiday
“I do it partly out of respect for the whole
animal, but the tongue just has such a rich,
beefy, full flavor.”
Subscriptions available exclusively online @
beeradvocate.com
B
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pickled beef tongue from Hungry Mother


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26
For many, a good Bloody Mary is a key
component of the quintessential lei-
surely brunch. But how did this eerily
named, spicy, salty cocktail come to be?
The Bloody Mary was created by Fer-
nand “pete” petiot at Harry’s American Bar in paris in
1921. it was unique because it married two new things:
vodka, which had recently been introduced to France
by refugees from communist Russia, and canned
tomato juice, which arrived in paris from the US after
World War i.
As one legend has it, the name refers to a woman
who was frequently left to sip petiot’s cocktails in soli-
tude while waiting for her gentleman friend at Harry’s
Bar. it compared her long, lonely hours waiting for her
beloved to the imprisonment of Mary Queen of Scots.
in 1933, the Astor family coaxed petiot to move to
New York to head up the King Cole Bar at the St. Regis
Hotel, where the drink evolved. vodka was not avail-
able stateside, so the New York version featured gin.
Also, the St. Regis’ swanky management was put off by
the gruesome name, and redubbed it the Red Snapper
before adding it to their repertoire.
in the 1950s, the cunning marketers at Smirnoff
quickly brought the Bloody Mary back to its roots.
The drink became a cornerstone of their legend-
ary campaign to introduce vodka to the American
marketplace.
The original Bloody Mary recipe (below) was quite
simple. The drink lends itself to variation, such as the
common inclusion of celery salt, horseradish and who
knows what else. Here’s to innovation!
Cin-cin!
BLooDy MAry
1.5 oz vodka
2 dashes Worcestershire
sauce
4 dashes Tabasco sauce
pinch of salt and pepper
0.25 oz fresh lemon juice
4 oz tomato juice
Build in a mixing glass.
Roll back and forth in a
tin. Strain into an ice-
flled glass.
for morE GrEaT ClaSSiC “EyE-opEnErS,” CHECK ouT
lupECBoSTon.Com.
The gift of booze is incredibly versatile. it can say, “Let’s
celebrate this festive holiday season together,” as easily
as, “Let’s drink to numb the pain of this God-forsaken
time of year.” even if the person receiving the gift
doesn’t drink, they can always re-gift it. You also don’t
have to sweat getting your boss the same thing as everyone else
because if she gets three bottles of the same Champagne, she’ll be
even more stoked than having received just one. Buying wine is really
a no-lose holiday gift.
forgETfUL, ULTrA-LAST-MINUTE SHoppEr
Don’t get stuck frantically searching your apartment
for something to wrap during a gift emergency: prepare
ahead of time by purchasing a few bottles of vino before
the real madness starts. Dinner plans with rarely seen
family members or visits from friends can happen
quickly and without warning, so make sure there are
pre-wrapped bottles of delicious bubbly sitting ready to
go in your closet. The N.v. Nino franco rustico prosecco,
an italian bubbly, is usually a summer treat, but it’s a
great quick gift. it’s a classy and sophisticated sparkling,
but unlike its expensive French equal, this wine clocks in at
less than $20 a bottle.
for THE ALpHA MALE IN yoUr LIfE
Chances are there is a high-powered boss, law degree-holding brother-
in-law or punk-ass executive MBA student on your shopping list.
instead of getting them golfwear or another team jersey to add to
their collection, opt for a big, bold, karate chop-to-the-face bottle of
vino. California Cabernet has become the new “bottle of Scotch” as far
as gifts go, and the 2005 Darioush Cabernet Sauvignon is an awesome
choice. it has every characteristic you’re looking for in a high-end Napa
valley Cab, including a dark and manly looking label.
THE WHITE LovEr
The general rule of thumb is to only give someone white wine
if you know, beyond a reasonable doubt, that they really love
the stuff. There are so many “i only drink red” people out there
that it’s not worth risking epic gift failure. With that said,
there are delicious whites from well-known producers that
are signifcantly less expensive than their red wine coun-
terparts. We go for the 2006 flowers Sonoma Coast Chardonnay from
California because it has some brand recognition, but also because it’s
a killer bottle of Chardonnay.
SToCkINg STUffErS
if you have a handful of people to thank this year, consider a half-bot-
tle of dessert wine. Yeah, we know—this sweet, lightly fzzy, low-alcohol
italian beverage is not everyone’s cup of tea, but the 2007 Michele
Chiarlo “Nivole” Moscato d’Asti is just so damn good. The bottles are
physically small, so you can stuff them in stockings or add them to gift
bags stuffed with other sweets. Best yet, you can get these little bottles
for less than $15 each.
drinK morE WinE! for morE informaTion: THESECondGlaSS.Com
tHe second glass By tyler BallIet
laSt-Minute Crowd
pleaSerS
Bottles to treat the boozer in your life
Bloody Mary
Gruesome and delish: how the
brunch standard came to be
lupec By HanKy panKy + pInK lady


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g r e a t p u b s t y l e f a r e
S e r v i ng L unc h & D i nne r e v e ry D ay
Huge sel ect i on of I mpor t ed & Domest i c beers on Draught & bot t l e
P i ano S i ng- aL ong
ever y fri day Ni ght wi t h Mel st i l l er, 8pm-Mi dni ght
31- 37 stuart st. bOstON 617-338-8586 WWW. JaCObWI rtH. COM
Penguin Pizza
Justin
Kelly
contracting


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We always love challeng-
ing beer branding that
boasts how much you’ll
love the beer inside
before you even take a sip.
Bragging about medal wins is always a
plus too. So when we saw a six-pack of
Trinity ipA from the Trinity Beer Co. in
providence, R.i., we had to take up their
challenge, which reads:
“if you like india pale Ales, the most
bitter of the pale Ale family, you’re sure
to enjoy this original english Style ipA.
First brewed in providence at the Trinity
Brewhouse in 1994, its bright copper
color, fruity aroma and bitter refresh-
ing fnish will keep you coming back for
more. enjoy it, responsibly.”
We do like ipAs, and english ipAs, too.
A beer that keeps us coming back for
more? Bonus!
We also noticed that the beer is actu-
ally bottled by Cottrell Brewing Co. out
of pawcatuck, Conn., for Trinity. Unless
they’re brewing at the brewpub and
shipping the beer to Cottrell for bottling,
it’s most likely being brewed at Cottrell
too. Not a bad thing. Contract brewing is
all the rage and on the rise with virtual
breweries popping up all over the world.
Regardless, the taste is what matters
to our palates. So less geekin’ and more
drinkin’ …
THE TASTE
Nice, bright and clear amber pour with
some lively carbonation that induces a
good fnger-sized, ultra-creamy (near ni-
tro) white foam head that coats the glass
as it settles. Fruity esters in the nose,
along with some orchard notes, ripe
stone fruit, hint of grapefruit and biscuit.
Bitter up front—near puckering—with
some salt, sharp citric rind edge and
astringency. Mild soap and some wood.
Carbonation gives a bit of a scrubbing
feel on the palate that is eventually
soothed by a creamy mouthfeel. Body is
quite light. Soft, fruity apple tones follow,
like you just took a bite—skin and all.
Hint of caramel as the beer warms, and
some biscuit too. Lingering biscuit in the
fnish, lemony hop notes and a growing
huskiness (like wheat germ) that results
in a not-so-clean fnish or enjoyable ex-
perience as the beer gets even warmer.
fINAL THoUgHTS
Compared to ipAs from england, the bit-
terness is quite aggressive for the style,
the malt profle could use some cleaning
up and the favors just don’t seem to meld
well, creating some unbalance. Drinking
this beer when it’s anything other than
cold allows that huskiness to dominate
too—not overly tasty. That said, it’s not bad,
and gets a “B”(Good) on BeerAdvocate.com
with 40 reviews—we’re leaning towards
a C+ (Decent). And 7-percent alcohol by
volume? That’s the claim, but it’s nowhere
to be found—in headiness or label.
We spied our samples for $7.99 a six-
pack at Whole Foods on River Street in
Cambridge. The adventurous may want
to visit the brewpub in providence for a
pint on draft.
for morE info: TriniTyBrEWHouSE.Com
for morE BEEr EduCaTion:
BEEradvoCaTE.Com
rESpECT BEEr.
trinity ipa
From Rhode Island, with hops
BeeradVocate.coM By Jason + todd alströM
HArpooN BEEr DINNEr
December 10
Join Harpoon Brewery and Grafton
Street for a multi-course meal paired
with fresh Harpoon brews. Here’s a peek:
black trumpet gnocchi (hand-rolled
gnocchi with black trumpet mushrooms,
mushroom brodo, parmesan and black
truffes) paired with Leviathan Series Bal-
tic porter and a cassoulet (rendered duck
breast and smoked duck conft) paired
with 100 Barrel Series #25 Rauchfetzen.
[grafton Street, 1230 Mass. Ave., Harvard
Sq., Cambridge. 617.497.0400. 6pm-
8pm/$35 for Friends of Harpoon, $40.
graftonstreetcambridge.com]
CHrISTMAS BEEr BrUNCH W/
BEErADvoCATE + UpSTAIrS oN THE SqUArE
December 14
Join BeerAdvocate’s Candice Alström and
Upstairs’ wine director Matt Reiser for
a festive holiday brunch: three-courses,
each paired with a tasty beer. The menu
will include savory crepes with salmon,
eggs Benedict with honey ham, apple
cider cake, plus a welcoming course of
holiday breads. Call for reservations!
[Upstairs on the Square, 91 Winthrop St.,
Harvard Sq., Cambridge. 617.864.1933.
1pm/$38. upstairsonthesquare.com]
for addiTional info and morE BEEr
EvEnTS: BEEradvoCaTE.Com
Beer eVents
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Christmas. But as far as Barrington knew, he was the only bunny in the forest, and he had no family with which to party. He attempted to join a family of squirrels, but was turned away from their festivities because he bore no physical resemblance to them. His eyes filling with tears, he sadly turned for
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wednesday 12.10
rap till you spit nails
Mac Lethal
Kansas City rap phenomenon
Mac Lethal has more street cred
than all the punks of Allston Rock
City combined, and he’s come to
rhyme circles around the college
ghetto. Now don’t let Missouri
turn you off—this performer/pro-
ducer proved he’s got the rocks
to work in the underground scene
with the likes of P.O.S. and Atmo-
sphere, to name-drop a few. The
show will also feature rhyme slay-
ers Grieves and Soulcrate Music.
[Harpers Ferry, 158 Brighton
Ave., Allston. 617.254.7380. 8pm/
18+/$10. harpersferryboston.com]
friday 12.12
artistic inebriation
Dicks and Jane
Art is dead. Space 242 is proving
that art rocks with their fnal
exhibition of 2008, Dicks and Jane,
featuring the artistic vision of the
Dig’s own Tak Toyoshima, Scott
Murry and Taylor Seidler. The great
minds behind the paintings will
be in attendance, ready to discuss
their process and inspirations and
perform favors in the alleyway for
lucrative art collectors. OK, fne,
not the last part.
[Space 242, 242 East Berkeley St.,
2nd Flr., Boston. 617.797.3191.
6pm/21+/free with RSVP.
space242.com]
friday 12.12
a very economical Christmas
Buon Natale Shopping Stroll
Following in the footsteps of
Mother Italy, the North End is
hosting its secondannual Buon
Natale Holiday Shopping Stroll. All
the swanky stores up and down
Hanover Street (and Salem Street
and Prince Street and North
Bennet Street and Fleet Street)
will be joining in on the festivities
with carolers, refreshments and
discounts! Savings when it counts
and free food? What better way
to shop local?
[North End, Boston, 7pm-11pm]
saturday 12.13
rock that intellect
Disappearer
There’s no reason rock can’t be smart,
and these Boston boys are a presence
to be witnessed, describing their
tracks as “searching through decades
past and exploring the unknown
chasms of the human psyche”—
which is an understatement. These
psychedelic rockers will leave
everyone impressed as they mix the
infuence of Black Sabbath, Smashing
Pumpkins and Zeppelin, and produce
a sound that’s completely their own
and laced with trippy insights into
our own consciousness. Whoa.
[Great Scott, 1222 Comm. Ave.,
Allston. 617.566.9014. 9pm/
21+/$9. greatscottboston.com]
friday 12.12
fear the reaper
Blue Öyster Cult
Thanks to Rock Band, everyone
who was sipping on their moth-
ers’ teat in the late ’70s can now
appreciate the heavy metal won-
der that she used to roll spliffs to.
Led by the original face-melting
force of Eric Bloom and Buck
Dharma, BÖC is out to prove that
they’ve still got what it takes to
rock your brain into mush. These
leather-clad geezers can blow the
fedora off every hipster in a fve-
mile radius.
[Showcase Live, 23 Patriot Pl.,
Foxboro. 888.354.7042. 8pm/$26-
$46. showcaselive.com]
dig this


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Christmas. But as far as Barrington knew, he was the only bunny in the forest, and he had no family with which to party. He attempted to join a family of squirrels, but was turned away from their festivities because he bore no physical resemblance to them. His eyes filling with tears, he sadly turned for
tuesday 12.16
oh the webs they weave
Deb Olin Unferth & M.T. Anderson
Brookline Booksmith is showcas-
ing two acclaimed authors for
double the book-signing pleasure.
Deb Olin Unferth debuts her frst
novel, Vacation: a postmodern
tale of misshapen heads, amateur
detective work and windingly
interwoven events. M.T. Anderson’s
new book: The Astonishing Life of
Octavian Nothing: Traitor to the
Nation, Volume II: The Kingdom on
the Waves is the follow-up to his
National Book Award-winning frst
installment.
[Brookline Booksmith, 279 Harvard
St., Brookline. 617.566.6660. 7pm/
free. brooklinebooksmith.com]
wednesday 12.17
oui oui
Shoot the Piano Player
The French are not always a great
source for feel-good flms, and
Truffaut’s Shoot the Piano Player
is no exception. Beginning with
his wife’s suicide, classical pianist
Charlie Koller bottoms out and
does the only thing he knows how
to do: plays at a Parisian dive bar.
The somber plot continues with
troublesome brothers who bring
the danger of gangland to his door-
step, leading to a harrowing look
inside the soul of a broken man.
[Brattle Theatre, 40 Brattle St.,
Harvard Sq., Cambridge.
617.876.6837. 5:30pm & 7:30pm/
$9.50. brattleflm.org]
wednesday 12.17–sunday 1.4
anti-holiday hero
Santaland Diaries
David Sedaris’ cult essay on the
adventures of Crumpet the surly
Christmas elf of Macy’s has made it
to the stage of the New Rep. In this
ever changing world, Sedaris’ sar-
casm and wit are something we can
always treasure. His biting words
and social critique lend to a hilari-
ous production following the story
of his seasonal work at America’s
mother of all retail stores and his
interaction with the Christmas-
crazed loonies he encounters.
[New Rep Theater, 321 Arsenal St.,
Watertown. 617.923.8487.
showtimes vary/$30. newrep.org]
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sunday 12.14
hipster heaven
Mass Market III
OK, we get it, you don’t like buy-
ing from big box chain companies.
Neither do we. Mass Market is
the DIY fea market of every-
thing a creative soul could desire.
Everyone from vinyl junkies to
bookbinders to clothing designers
and vegan bakers will be pushing
their wares for a fun-flled day of
bartering, selling and sharing. Put
down that PBR and head over. Or
rather, chug it frst.
[Massachusetts College of Art and
Design, 621 Huntington Ave., Bos-
ton. 617.879.700. 12pm/all ages/$1.
masscraftmarket.blogspot.com]
monday 12.15
modern renaissance
Seven Times Salt
Seven Times Salt meticulously
absorbs every note and subtlety of
classical music and transforms it
into something modern audiences
can truly enjoy. Mixing dance
tunes with late 16th-century
compositions may seem next to
impossible, but the results take on
a life of their own, creating a clas-
sic, fresh sound. Catch them for
their sixth annual holiday concert,
Thys Endere Nyght.
[The Loring-Greenough House,
12 South St., Jamaica Plain.
617.524.3158. 8pm/all ages/free.
seventimessalt.com]
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New England’s Culture Magazine
242
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DESIGN NEARBY | PINK COMMA GALLERY
Cloth, Paper, Scissors
As a kid, it was simple to seal the deal with “rock, paper, scissors.” As
adults, we can alleviate our holiday shopping misery with help from the
annual Design Nearby sale. Titled Cloth, Paper, Scissors, this year’s version
comes with 16 artists and their fresh, urban, holiday-inspired pieces. It’s
diffcult to decide who to mention frst. UMass-Dartmouth grad and de-
signer Shara Porter will sell some of her special remixed vintage accesso-
ries. The felt-inclined Joshua Stone will have some sweet coasters, holiday
ornaments and vases all made out of industrial felt. Jennifer Hill’s “Places
I Have Never Been” collection puts an international (and imaginary) spin
on calendars. Dave Ortega, a fag-fying member of the Miracle 5 art
superhero group, vends some of his Geoskullz tees, which are very fy. And
don’t forget Pink Comma director Chris Grimley and wifey Kelly Smith, the
founders of the Boston design studio Etcetera Media. They’ll all present up
to six pieces, with all sorts of shtuff for sale. With the well-deep, magnif-
cent design talent in the Hub, you can outft your entire holiday giving
with creative, handmade treasures … and get bonus karma to pawn onto
your Republican mom. [NAKIA HILL]
[Design Nearby: Cloth, Paper, Scissors. Fri 12.12.08. Pink Comma Gallery,
81B Wareham St., Boston. 617.426.4466. 6pm-11pm/free. pinkcomma.
com, designnearby.com]
arts&entertainment arts entertainment
TOP 10 DISCO CUTS
From Bob Diesel of the Boston House
Music Coalition
10 | Mandré—“Solar Flight (Opus 1)”
(Motown) 1977
9 | The Brothers—“Under the Skin” (RCA) 1976
8 | Players’ Association—“Ride the Groove”
(Vanguard) 1979
7 | Tony Paris—“Electric Automan”
(Vanguard) 1985
6 | Theo Vaness—“No Romance/Keep on
Dancin’/I’m a Bad, Bad
Boy” (Prelude) 1979
5 | Montana—“Warp
Factor II” (Atlantic) 1978
4 | Cher—“Take Me Home”
(Casablanca) 1979
3 | Kebekelektrik—“War
Dance” (Salsoul) 1978

2 | Inner Life—“Ain’t No
Mountain High Enough
(The Garage Version)”
(Salsoul) 1981
1 | Logg—“You’ve Got That Something”
(Salsoul) 1981
[Bob Diesel spins after the showing of Cin-
eMental Presents: The Godfather of Disco. Wed
12.17.08. Brattle Theatre, 40 Brattle St., Harvard
Sq., Cambridge. 617.876.6837. 9:30pm/$10.
brattleflm.org, truthserum.org]
STEVE MACONE
BY ROB TURBOVSKY
Medford-native Steve Macone won Boston Universi-
ty’s 2006 Funniest Student Competition in his senior
year, opened for Dave Coulier of Full House, then got
an agent and now he’s rich. Well, not fnancially rich,
but he’s raking it in comedically with a clean act that
goofly contemplates life’s questions, big and small.
As the Comedy Studio’s December “comic in resi-
dence,” he’ll open every show there for the month.
ARE YOU MAKING A LIVING DOING STAND-UP?
I make a living doing comedy as well as freelance
writing, though “living” is a strong word. Making
a “slowly dying while living at home with my
parents” might be a better way to put it. Also,
working on a book.
DO YOUR PARENTS APPROVE OF YOUR CAREER?
They’re not as concerned about the trajectory or
specifcs of my comedy career as they are about
whether I washed the dishes. They’re happy as long
as I wash the dishes.
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR ACT?
My act has simultaneous elements of silliness
and seriousness (like a joke about the true es-
sence of forgiveness), and I’m not sure that they
exist on opposite ends of a spectrum. I worked
as a plumber for seven summers and I studied at
Oxford and I’ve traveled a lot—you stop seeing
things as polar opposites—silly versus serious,
smart jokes versus those with mass appeal—and
more as complementary.
WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO GET OUT OF YOUR
COMEDY STUDIO RUN?
I want to just hit it really hard and mix consistency
with innovation. I’m working on this one joke about
how nature isn’t even aware of how beautiful it is.
Pretty funny, huh? So, let’s check back in on that
one at the end of the month.
[Steve Macone at The Comedy Studio. Wed-Sun,
through 12.30.08. 1236 Mass. Ave., Harvard Sq.,
Cambridge. 8pm/all ages/$8 Sun, Wed, Thurs;
$10 Fri, Sat. 617.661.6507. thecomedystudio.com.
stevemacone.com]
DEFEND YOURSELF!
MUSIC | adam F + big bear MOVIES | doubt + cadillac records + helvetica ARTS | 826 auction + stella’s david Wain
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The List
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Wednesday, Dec 10
rock
ELLIOTT MURPHY
Jann Klose
Thursday, Dec 11
West African pop
SAMBA LOLO
Friday, Dec 12
roots rock
Memphis Rockabily
Girl Howdy
Saturday, Dec 13
pop
BRONZE RADIO
RETURN
Sunday, Dec 14
Jazz Brunch
w/ music
9:00 -2:30 PM
Blues Jam
4:30 -8:30
Monday, Dec 15
FREE PIZZA -
8:30 PM (21+)
TEAM TRIVIA
starts 8:30
Tuesday, Dec 16
folk
NY Songwriters Circle
Mieka Pauley, Seth
Glier & more
Wednesday, Dec 17
funk
ZAGNUTT
upcoming shows:
12/18-Chandler
Travis’ X-Mas
12/19-Pressure Cooker
12/20-Los Sugar Kings
12/23-Old Time Music
12/26-Playin’ Dead
12/27-Swinging
Johnsons
12/31-Booty Vortex
17 Holland St., Davis Sq.
Somerville (617) 776-2004
Directly on T Red Line at Davis
www.johnnyds.com


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The world of Adam Fenton, aka Adam F, is
not exactly a waking nightmare. Produc-
ing renowned drum & bass/jazz album
Colours put him on a path hardly anyone,
least of all him, would expect. “You have
dreams and desires when you’re younger,”
he says on the phone from Los Angeles,
“but you realize life unfolds completely dif-
ferently and then you just get on with it.”
Although he is frmly established as a
drum & bass DJ, having cracked the UK pop
charts with singles like “Music In My Mind,”
his career has gone on to hip-hop and R&B
production, with names like Redman, LL
Cool J and M.O.P. Most recently, though,
he has become a flm actor with a smaller
role in The Heavy and now, opposite British
acting legend Richard E. Grant, in the flm
Cuckoo. While it’s not a stretch to play each
of these music-based characters, there’s
something about Fenton the camera loves.
“It’s not Lord of the Rings, know what I
mean?” he says with a laugh. “But it’s nice
to do something else that’s creative and
challenging and different.” Cuckoo is cur-
rently in post-production.
But Fenton is still in touch with his hip-
hop friends. While in LA, he had the chance
to catch up with Redman (they
produced “Smash Sumthin’” in
2001). “To drive around with Red-
man and listen to tracks we’re
working on, it’s pretty cool, do
you know what I mean?” he says.
The duo was “messin’ around”
with some beats alongside Red’s
partner in crime: Method Man.
Of course, DJing still gets
Fenton the most excited. He still
runs his own drum & bass label, Breakbeat
KAOS, and makes a good living off DJing.
“There’s a night called Run in Bristol, which
I like playing in,” he says. “It’s a really small,
low-lit club and it has these old hanging
lights and whenever the crowd’s kicking off
they bang on the lights and hang off these
cords and swing up and down. That’s a true
and honest club to play in.”Then there’s
places he loves, like St. Petersburg, Russia.
“They do this huge party called Pirate Sta-
tion and there are 15,000 people. It’s like
Tiësto but with grimy drum & bass.”
The life of a DJ is a rough one indeed.
Even he was still deciding which gig to take
on New Year’s Eve, easily the biggest gig for
a DJ these days. “It’s either London as an
option, or Seattle, which I played last year,
or Hawaii,” he says. (Sounded like he was
leaning toward Hawaii.)
Is there a flm with Redman, Method
Man and Fenton in the future? A fsh-out-
of-water gangster caper set in Guy Ritchie’s
London? “That’s a good idea,” he says,
chuckling. “Life’s showing me you forget
about things, and then all of sudden, two
years later, it’s happening, but from a com-
pletely different angle.”
ADAM F
Has many balls to juggle
PROFILE BY DAVID DAY
Five times a day Adam
must kneel and pray to
record crate #31.
ADAM F
WITH LENORE
PHOENIX LANDING
512 MASS AVE.
CENTRAL SQ., CAMBRIDGE
617.576.6260
10PM/19+/$7
MYSPACE.COM/PHOENIXLANDING
ADAMF.COM
NotABlEs
Erinn Brown (often referred to as “2N”
because of the essential double consonant in
her name) has been playing stages all over Bos-
ton since the late ’90s. The sultry songstress
started out singing for rock cover bands while
writing her own stuff, eventually releasing her
solo debut, Road Signs to the Sun, in 1999. Her
latest solo album, Don’t Forget About It, is a
soulful mix of blues, jazz, funk, and folk rock.
Though she is now a solo artist, Brown is no
stranger to sharing the stage. Alongside Erinn
Brown Band drummer Steve Peabody, she’ll
be playing at the Clear Conscience Café, so
you know you can walk out with some good,
legitimately fair-trade and organic (and shade-
grown!) coffee. [Thu 12.11.08. 581 Mass. Ave.,
Central Sq., Cambridge. 617.661.1580. 8pm/all
ages/free. c3cafe.net]
Central Chambers is the deliciously
comforting third album from Northampton’s
folk-pop quintet, Winterpills. Dual vocalists
Philip Price and Flora Reed have perfected the
art of male-female harmony, while the oc-
casionally rough guitars and drumming offsets
their poignant voices in the best of ways. The
group, praised everywhere from No Depres-
sion to the Village Voice, provides equal parts
pop melodies and heartbreaking indie-rock
tunes highlighted by Price’s storytelling lyrics.
To celebrate the CD, the guys and girl will
be playing at Club Passim, Harvard Square’s
excellent home to all things crunchy and
folkifed, a doubly good reason to go. [Sun
12.14.08. 47 Palmer St., Harvard Sq., Cam-
bridge. 617.492.7679. 7:30pm/all ages/$15.
clubpassim.org]
MassArt’s showing of the Beat Research
class presentations is Boston’s yearly chance
to get into the heads of some beat-talented
brains. The scientists come from the classroom
of Professor DJ Flack (aka Antony Flackett),
where they’ve been studying everything from
old school to new school for school: sampling,
techniques, image and hip-hop’s presence in
pop culture. The students perform an array
of projects, including original tracks, videos
and even live performances. Hear what’s next
after next after next at the Enormous Room.
[Mon 12.15.08. 567 Mass. Ave., Central Sq.,
Cambridge. 617.491.5550. 9pm/18+/free.
enormous.tv]
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36
Don’t you just want to strum that guitar every once in a while, I think,
watching Big Bear as they rock the stage. Just a big fat C chord once
for the kids? But Big Bear’s not going to make it easy for you. Hard-
rock riffs, twists and tangles, unfamiliar modalities, skronky keys, big
broken beats and bending shouts jolt across the stage ... I’m kind of
not sure I’m in Boston anymore. Without a real central point of focus
in their tunes or presentation, Big Bear represents a high-sensory
brand of something caught between metal, classical and indie rock.
“It was supposed to be an arena rock band,” says guitarist and
chief music writer Joel Roston. Mission not accomplished. Roston’s
interest in classical music ultimately probably got in the way of
any “More Than A Feeling” aspirations. But they do have a keyboard
player who stands (that would be Joanne Dill). She and Roston are
the melodic beast of the band, tirelessly cranking out sequences of
completely off-kilter runs that take a while to get used to, but even-
tually you get there. “I’ve studied a lot of ‘out’ classical music and the
thing is, you realize it is really hard to escape from a 1-4-5 mental-
ity,” says Roston. “Hopefully everything we do has some awesome
rock sound.”
It would actually probably all drift away if not for Jordyn Bonds,
whose talk/shout style of singing owes as much to Mary Weiss and
Bob Dylan as it does to Debbie Harry and Johnny Rotten (except
no rambling gambling epics or car crashes). Roston treads carefully
on summing up the main idea of Bonds’ lyrics for me: “Hmm. The
fact that humans can be very, very wonderful but instead we’re just
gonna kill ourselves.” So it’s love and death, happiness and pain.
Maybe not right out of the pages of Bad Company’s songbook, but
in the end, it’s rock & roll. “I trust the listener to be able to pick the
really simplistic structures out of the complexity,” says Roston. And
I would say with a sensory experience as intense as Big Bear, some
element of trust is key.
[Big Bear with Parts & Labor, Neptune and Thief Thief. Fri 12.12.08.
Middle East Upstairs, 472 Mass. Ave., Central Sq., Cambridge.
617.864.3278. 9pm/18+/$9. myspace.com/bigbear, mideastclub.com]
Big Bear
BY JONATHAN DONALDSON
LOCAL PICK BOP BOP BOP
WANDAS | NEW WAVES BLUES
The four-piece group The Wandas separate
themselves from the large pack of Boston
pop bands with a tightly designed, smart
sound. Besides the production from Patrick
Krief (of The Dears) and the mastering of
Ryan Morey (The Stills, Arcade Fire), the
vocals from Keith McEachern and friends are
a delight. Check the matching harmonies of “Bending Over Back-
wards” or the fun falsetto on “Trepidation” for the ingredient that
truly adds to the already focused formula. Expect this Berklee-bred
band to do what many others have done: blow up. [DAVID DAY]
FIDELITY


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Alchemist Lounge
One Happy Island
[10pm/21+]
All Asia
CNC Music Marathon
w/ David Cousins,
Zarni de Wet, The
Modern Elite, Road
Apples, Secret Chan-
nels, Johnny Duke and
The Aces
[6pm/21+ after
10pm/$6 for 21+, $9
for 18-20]
An Tua Nua
Night Gallery Video
Bar w/ VJ Tom Yaz
[10pm/21+]
Biltmore Grille
Karaoke w/ Dana Z
[9pm]
Burren
Moonshine [8pm/21+]
Cafe 939
Richard Saunders’s
Urban Appeal, Julia
Easterlin [8pm/$10]
Church
The Dirty Truck-
ers, Prime Movers,
The Freeways, Black
Mosettes
[8pm/21+/$10]
Felt
‘80s Cover Bands,
Mash-Up Fridays w/
DJ Rick Rude, Mash-up
Mafa [9pm/21+]
Good Life
Seed in the City w/ DJ
Bradford James, Randy
Deshaies w/ guest
Halo [9pm/21+/$5]
Great Scott
Anderson Comedy
Presents The Gas
[7pm/18+/$5]
The Pill w/ DJs Ken &
Michael V
[9pm/21+/$5]
Harpers Ferry
Corey Smith w/ Matt
Lowell [8pm/18+/$12
adv, $15 dos]
Hong Kong at Faneuil
Hall
Happy Hour Karaoke
[6pm-10pm/21+]
DJ Dancing [9pm/21+]
Alchemist Lounge
Forest Henderson
[10pm/21+/free]
All Asia
Mightly Tighty
[6:30pm]
TheMurder, The Lessar
Evils, Mouth Sewn Shut
[9:30pm/21+]
An Tua Nua
Night Gallery Video
Bar w/ VJ Tom Yaz
[10pm/21+]
Burren
Swinging Johnsons
[8pm/21+]
Cafe 939
The Dear Hunter,
Person L.
[8pm/all ages/$13 adv,
$15 dos]
Church
The Rationales, Dear-
born Valley, The Bees
Knees, Preacher Jack
[8pm/21+/$8]
Felt
True Music Thursdays
w/ Beautiful Lies, Eric
Colville, Shadwell
[9pm/21+/$8, free w/
college ID]
Fireplace
Latin Thursdays w/
Alma [9:30/21+]
Good Life
P.M.S. w/ Ms. Thang,
Just John [9pm/21+]
Great Scott
Tyler’s Birthday Mish-
mash Band Hash feat.
members of Amoroso,
Animal Hospital, Big
Bear, Clawjob, Ho-Ag,
Ketman, Neptune, The
Secret Sea, Tristan Da
Cunha and more
[9pm/18+/$8]
Hong Kong at Faneuil
Hall
Nonstop Karaoke
[6pm/21+]
DJ Dancing
[9pm/21+/free]
Jacque’s
Jacque’s Angels hosted
by Kris Knievil w/
Milinda Wilson and
guests
[11pm/21+/$6]
Johnny D’s
Samba Lolo [9pm/21+]
Kells
Thirsty Thursday
[10pm/21+]
Kitty O’Shea’s
Onset, DJs Artie V. and
Greg G. [6pm/21+]
Middle East Corner
Chelsea City Council
[10pm]
Middle East Down-
stairs
The New Deal, Mocean
Worker [8pm/18+/$22
adv, $25 dos]
Middle East Upstairs
Rhymezwell (CD
release) feat. Ebb &
Flow, Calvery Crew,
Nox Beatz & Fat Ricky,
L.E.G. and more
[9pm/18+/$10 adv,
$13 dos]
Milky Way
Todo Mundo w/ DJ
Lone Wolf
[9pm/21+/free]
My House
International Thurs-
days feat. Live Brazilian
Bands [8pm/21+/free]
O’Brien’s
Mob Hit, Eyewitness
Death Count, Guilty
as Sin
[9pm/21+/$6]
Olivers @ Cask ‘n
Flagon
Black River Sound, Soul
Mafa, The Problemad-
dicts [8pm/21+]
Paradise Rock Club
Luke Bryan
[8pm/18+]
Phoenix Landing
Elements feat. Adam F.
[10pm/19+/$5]
Plough & Stars
Scarce [10pm/21+]
Precinct
Stuff @ Night Party,
The Rex Complex
[10pm/21+]
Redline
Joe McMahon Trio
[7pm/21+]
Soul Clap [10pm/21+]
Ryles
Temporada Latina
[8:30pm/21+/$8-$12]
Scullers
Krisanthi Pappas and
Doug Hammer
[8pm/$18]
All Asia
Johnny Nicholson’s
Songwriter’s Circle
[6pm]
Open Mic Hosted by
Bryan Murphy of the
Shills [9pm/21+]
Cafe 939
Live Band Karaoke feat.
Downtown Fever
[8pm/free]
Church
The Ting Tings
[8pm/21+/free]
Fireplace
Jazz Wednesdays w/
Earthsound
[9:30pm/21+]
Good Life
Bassic w/ Pandai’a,
Steppo and guests Edit,
Ooah of Glitch Mob
[9pm/21+/$5]
Great Scott
Oranjuly, No Casino,
Shanghai Thrills, Tom
Thumb
[9pm/18+/$9]
Harpers Ferry
Mac Lethal w/ Grieves,
Soulcrate Music
[8pm/18+/$10]
Hong Kong at Faneuil
Hall
Late Night Karaoke
[9pm/21+]
Jacque’s
Boyz Will Be Girlz,
hosted by Melinda
Wilson, Mizery and
guests
[10:30pm/21+/$6]
Johnny D’s
Elliott Murphy, Jann
Klose
[8:30pm/21+/$12]
Kells
Get Over the Hump
Wednesdays w/ DJ
Lay-Zee-Boy
[10pm/21+/free]
Middle East Corner
Belly Dance w/ Live
Band
[9:30pm/free]
Middle East Upstairs
This is how rumors get
started, Sincerely, the
Management, Sera Del
Fuego, Doug Orey
[9pm/18+/$8 adv,
$9 dos]
Milky Way
DJ Generoso’s Bovine
Ska [9pm/21+]
My House
Karaoke
[9pm/21+/free]
O’Brien’s
Born of Thunder,
Finisher, Hot On The
Heels, Warhead
[9pm/21+/$6]
Phoenix Landing
Midweek Techno:
Sergio’s Bday Bash
[10pm/21+]
Plough & Stars
Sara Leveque Duo
[10pm/21+]
Precinct
The Rex Complex
[10pm/21+]
Ryles
Anita Coelho Brazilian
Ensemble
[9pm/$10]
Hot Salsa Wednesdays
w/ DJ Rob Suave
[8:30pm/18+/$10-
$12]
Scullers
Act IV: A night of music
and musings feat.
Carol O’Shaughnessy,
Dane Vannatter,
Piero Bonamico, Lynda
D’Armour
[8pm/$28]
The roadie got an
eyeful when he
popped up from a
trap door by the
speaker. Barnicle,
12.12.08, at the
Middle East Down-
stairs.
Photographers
always appreciate
Conrad’s perfor-
mances in the
darkroom. Ratio-
nales, 12.11.08,
at Church.
MUSIC | FOR ADVERTISING + LISTINGS INFO, LISTINGS@WEEkLYDIG.COM
WEDNESDAY 12.10
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Few knew that
Teddy was actually
born from a tree
vagina. Oranjuly,
12.10.08, at
Great Scott.
THURSDAY 12.11
more listings >> 38
FRIDAY 12.12
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Alchemist Lounge
Absinthe w/ The Amaz-
ing DJ Knife
[10pm/21+]
All Asia
Alex Wright and the
Wrongs
[12pm]
Boby Limijaya
[3pm]
CNC Music Marathon
w/ Mary Casiello,
Flaming Awesome, The
Wrong Noises, The
Effective Dose, Melanie
Driscoll, Mepos
[6pm/21+ after
10pm/$6 for 21+, $9
for 18-20]
An Tua Nua
Uber Saturdays w/ DJ
Susan Esthera
[10pm/21+]
Night Gallery Video
Bar w/ VJ Tom Yaz
[10pm/21+]
Biltmore Grille
Brian Burrill [9pm]
Burren
Spitting Vinnies
[8pm/21+]
Cafe 939
The Dear Hunter, 3
[8pm/$13 adv, $15
dos]
Church
Logan 5 & The Runners,
Weisstronauts, Sool,
My Own Worst Enemy,
The Mercy James Gang
[8pm/21+/$10]
Felt
Merry Effen Christmas!
Holiday Party w/ DJ
Pretty Boy Jones
[10pm/21+/ free w/
RSVP]
Good Life
Mister Jason w/ guests
Ricky Powell, Rude-1
[9pm/21+/$5]
Great Scott
Zozobra, Disppearer,
Gods and Queens,
Angels of Meth
[9pm/21+/$9]
Harpers Ferry
Styles P [8pm/18+/$18
adv, $20 dos]
Hong Kong at Faneuil
Hall
Happy Hour Karaoke
[5pm-9pm/21+]
DJ Dancing
[9pm/21+]
Jacque’s
Kris Knievil and the
cast of “Miss-Lead-
ing Ladies:” Destiny,
Mizery, Lakia Mondale,
Fena Barbitall
[7:45pm,
10pm/21+/$10]
Johnny D’s
Bronze Radio Return
[9:45pm/21+]
Kells
Celebration Saturday
w/ DJ Darren Drag
[10pm/21+]
Kitty O’Shea’s
Plan B Saturdays w/ DJ
Greg G [21+]
Middle East Corner
Po Boys Hammond B-3
Organ Trio
Middle East Down-
stairs
The Viennagram,
Asleep in a Box, Aux,
Sizzlechest
[8pm/18+/$10]
Middle East Upstairs
Plus/Minus, Mean
Creek, Cotton Jones,
Cotton Candy
[9pm/18+/$10]
Milky Way
Mango’s Latin Dance
w/ DJ Baby Boricua
[9pm/21+/ladies free
before 10:30pm, $5
before 11:30pm, $10]
My House
Dance: hip-hop, house,
R&B, rock, mashups,
top 40
[8pm/21+/free]
O’Brien’s
We’re All Gonna Die,
Hackman, The Under
[9pm/21+/$8]
Phoenix Landing
Boom Boom Room w/
DJ Vinny
[10pm/21+/$5]
Plough & Stars
Family Jewels
[4pm/21+]
Death and Taxes
[10:30pm/21+]
Precinct
James Christensen,
Fancy Trash
[9pm/21+]
Redline
DJ Inkognito
[10pm/21+]
Rise
Storm w/ Boris
[1am/18+/$10 mem-
bers, $20 guests]
Ryles
Samba Tremeterra
[9pm/$10]
Supershag
[9:15pm/18+/$15]
Alchemist Lounge
Jeremy Lyons and the
Deltabilly Boys
[10pm/21+]
All Asia
Brandon Sheer [4pm]
James Risolo Showcase
[7pm]
Biltmore Grille
Christie Leigh Bellany
[9pm]
Burren
Brunch Session w/
Gannon Family
[12pm/all ages]
Americano Session
[7pm/21+]
Singer/Songwriter
Series w/ Danielle
[8pm/21+]
Church
The Boston Babydolls,
Miss Tess & the Bon-
Ton Parade
[8pm/21+/$7 adv,
$10 dos]
Great Scott
Truth Serum w/ Dr.
Sketchy’s Anti-Art
School Cabaret Life
Drawing Class
[2:30pm/18+/$7]
All These Kings, Crans-
ton Willow
[9pm/18+/free]
Harpers Ferry
The Ducky Boys w/ Far
From Finished, Pinker-
ton Thugs, Morgan
Knockers
[7pm/all ages/$10]
Hong Kong at Faneuil
Hall
Late Night Karaoke
[9pm/21+]
Jacque’s
Work! w/ JujuBee and
Destiny
[21+/$6]
Johnny D’s
Blues Jam
[4:30pm/21+]
Middle East Corner
Belly Dance show w/
DJ Garabed hosted by
Sahar
[9pm/free]
Middle East Upstairs
Have Nots, Brunt Of
It, Interrobang?!, Kill
Conrad
[1pm/all ages/$10]
Grimis, Blastronauts,
Action Verbs, Plastic
Reverie [9pm/18+/$8
adv, $9 dos]
Milky Way
Wreckage Talent Show
[9pm/$8]
My House
Gay night w/ DJ Mike
Giller [8pm/21+/free]
Phoenix Landing
Rebound w/ Tanner
Ross and Jason B.
[10pm/19+/$5, free
before 11pm]
Jacque’s
Kris Knievil and the
cast of “Miss-Lead-
ing Ladies:” Destiny,
Mizery, Lakia Mondale,
Fena Barbitall
[10pm/21+/$10]
Johnny D’s
Memphis Rockabilly,
Girl Howdy
[9:45pm/21+]
Kells
Fridays Ladies Night
w/ DJ Grasshopper
[10pm/21+/ladies free
before 12am]
Kitty O’Shea’s
Fusion Fridays w/ DJs
Greg G. and Artie V.
[21+]
Middle East Corner
Angela Desveaux &
The Mighty Ship
Middle East Downstairs
Freezepop, Bon
Savants, The
Toothaches, Barnicle
[8pm/18+/$12]
Middle East Upstairs
Neptune, Parts &
Labor, Big Bear, Thief
Thief [9pm/18+/$9]
Milky Way
The Final “The Wobble”
Friday Soul Party
[9pm/21+/free]
My House
Live Music
[8pm/21+/free]
O’Brien’s
Muck and the Mires,
Topheavy, The Down-
beat 5, The Buckners
[9pm/21+/$8]
Olivers @ Cask ‘n
Flagon
This Blue Heaven, The
Honors, Common Thrill
(CD release), The Mo-
tion Sick
[8pm/21+]
Paradise Rock Club
Sister Hazel w/ Benjy
Davis Project, Andrew
Hoover
[8pm/18+]
Phoenix Landing
Pretty Little Things w/
DJ Vinny
[10pm/21+/$5]
Precinct
Frank Graham, Kevin
Connolly
[10:30pm/21+]
Redline
DJ KC Hallett of Soul
Revival [8pm/21+]
Rise
Orbit w/ Hearthrob:
Red Foxx, Baltimoro-
der, Morgan Louis and
Hush & Bons
[2am/18+/$10 mem-
bers, $20 guests]
Ryles
Jazzadelic
[9pm/$10]
Viernes des Vacilon
Latin Dance Party
[8:30pm/18+/free
before 10pm, $5 after,
$10 after 11pm]
Scullers
Karrin Allyson
[8pm, 10pm/$25]
Yeah, um, I’m
Styles P. Welcome
to my crib. So it’s
a little messy.
Shut up! Styles P,
12.13.08, at
Harpers Ferry.
MUSIC | FOR ADVERTISING + LISTINGS INFO, LISTINGS@WEEkLYDIG.COM
FRIDAY 12.12 FROM >> 37
SATURDAY 12.13
SUNDAY 12.14
“Song for Dolphin
Children” is always
a room-clearer.
Bon Iver, 12.14.08,
at the Wilbur
Theatre.
247 Elm Street, Davis Sq. Somerville, MA
(617-776-6896) ::: www.burren.com
Open til 2am every Friday and Saturday
Enjoy our great
beer selection!
Wed 12/10
PUB QUIZ 8-10
Thur 12/11
SWINGING
JOHNSONS
Fri 12/12
MOONSHINE
Sat 12/13
SPITTING VINNIES
Sun 12/14
Singer Songwriter
Series with
DanielleM @ 8PM
Mon 12/15
Set Dancing 8pm
Tue 12/16
Open Mic w/
Hugh McGowan
@6:30


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Alchemist Lounge
The Speakeasys
[10pm/21+]
All Asia
Johnny Nicholson’s
Songwriter’s Circle [6pm]
Open Mic Hosted by
Bryan Murphy of the
Shills [9pm/21+]
Biltmore Grille
Karaoke w/ Dana Z
[9pm]
Church
Ralph Eats Dynamite,
Red Quiet, Thick as
Thieves, The Darker
Hues [8pm/21+/$8]
Fireplace
Kathy Olson
[9:30pm/21+]
Good Life
Dancehall Xmas style
w/ Kotek, Damian Silva
w/ guest DJ Brynmore
[9pm/21+]
Great Scott
The Broken River
Prophet, Quincunx,
Shepherdess, Ghost
Box Orchestra
[9pm/18+/$7]
Harpers Ferry
Ace Enders w/ Good
Old War, The Morning
Light, Michelle Darosa
[7pm/all ages/$10 adv,
$12 dos]
Hong Kong at Faneuil
Hall
Late Night Karaoke
[9pm/21+]
Jacque’s
Boyz Will Be Girlz,
hosted by Melinda
Wilson, Mizery and
guests
[10:30pm/21+/$6]
Johnny D’s
Zagnutt
[8:30pm/21+]
Kells
Get Over the Hump
Wednesdays
[10pm/21+/free]
Middle East Corner
Belly Dance w/ Live
Band [9:30pm/free]
Middle East Down-
stairs
Taproot, Silent Season,
Resin [8pm/18+/$15]
Middle East Upstairs
Sparky’s Flaw, Slow
Motion Driver, Soap
Stars [9pm/18+/$9]
Milky Way
Soulkore’s Stardust
Open Stage
[2pm/21+/$5]
My House
Karaoke
[9pm/21+/free]
O’Brien’s
Escape The Basement,
The Susan Constant
[9pm/21+/$7]
Paradise Rock Club-
Greater Boston Alter-
native Comedy Festival
feat. Shane Mauss, The
Walsh Brothers, Robby
Roadsteamer, Chris
Coxen, The Ander-
son Comedy Group,
Mehran, Bethany Van
Delft and Campaign
for Realtime
[7pm/18+]
Phoenix Landing
Midweek Techno: Justin
Carr [10pm/21+]
Plough & Stars
Poverty Line Old Time
Band [10pm/21+]
Precinct
The Rex Complex
[10pm/21+]
Ryles
Hiro Honshuku and A-
NO-NE Christmas
[9pm/$10]
Hot Salsa Wednesdays
w/ DJ Rob Suave
[8:30pm/$10-$12]
All Asia
Sam Reid and the Riot
Act, Poverty Line Old
Time Band, The Tin
Thistles [6pm]
DJ Natan vs. DJ V-Nice
[9pm/21+]
Biltmore Grille
Mark Purcell
[9pm]
Burren
Set Dancing w/ Ger
Cooney
[8pm/21+]
Great Scott
Otis Grove, Missing
Traces (farewell show),
Rex Comlex
[9pm/18+/$8]
Harpers Ferry
Radio Fix w/ Antique
Scream [8pm/18+]
Hong Kong at Faneuil
Hall
Triviaoke [10pm-12am]
Karaoke [12am/21+]
Jacque’s
Jaded Lounge hosted
by Becca D’Bus
[10pm/21+/$6]
Middle East Upstairs
Another Polk Christ-
mas Party w/ The
Antlers, Gypsy Cab, The
Beasts of England, This
Building’s On Fire, Alive
and Awake
[8pm/18+/ $8]
My House
Live Jazz and Open
Jazz Jam w/ Renato
Malavasi and Friends
[8pm/21+/free]
O’Brien’s
Razormaze, Unholy
Goatfucker, Spewtila-
tor, Boarcorpse, Ill
Daemonium
[9pm/21+/$8]
Phoenix Landing
Makka Mondays w/
Voyager 01 and DJ
Uppercut
[10pm/21+/$5]
Plough & Stars
Kepi Acoustic w/ DJ
Ryan the Terrible
[10pm/21+/$3]
Precinct
The Mike Hastings
Band [10pm/21+]
Scullers
Melissa Morgan
[8pm/$18]
All Asia
Karmic Songwriters
Circle [6:30pm]
Dylan Galvin & Friends
[9:30pm/21+]
Burren
Open Mic w/ Hugh
McGowan
[6:30pm/21+]
Cafe 939
Poetry Slam feat. Regie
Gibson [8pm/$5]
Church
Pray for Mojo, Mighty
Tiny, Andrew Lewis
[8pm/21+/$5]
Good Life
Tuesday Night
Squabble [8pm/21+]
Great Scott
Ice Cream Social w/
Chris Devlin, E-Marce
[9pm/18+/$8]
Harpers Ferry
Indie Rock Parade
[8pm/18+]
Hong Kong at Faneuil
Hall
Late Night Karaoke
[9pm/21+]
Jacque’s
Karaoke Hosted by
Mizery
[21+/$6]
Johnny D’s
New York Songwriters
Circle
[8:30pm/21+]
Middle East Corner
The Sneaks
Middle East Upstairs
The Living Sea, The
Mystery Tramps, Loud
Clappers, Motorcar
[9pm/18+/$8]
My House
Open Mic night w/
Bobbielee and Friends
[8pm/21+/free]
O’Brien’s
School for Robots; Left
Hand Does; Sincerely,
The Management
[9pm/21+/$8]
Paradise Rock Club
Ten out of Tenn Christ-
mas Tour feat. Griffn
House, Katie Herzig,
Trent Dabbs, Tyler
James, Jeremy Lister,
Butterfy Boucher,
KS Rhoads, Matthew
Perryman Jones, Andy
Davis, Erin Mccarley
[7pm/18+]
Plough & Stars
Kaitlin Dibble w/
Michala
[10pm/21+]
Precinct
Not Art Collaborative
[10pm/21+]
Ryles
Artist Showcase, Multi-
Band Event
[8:30pm/$8]
Noche Latina Tuesdays
[7pm/18+/$10-$13]
Scullers
David Benoit’s
“A Charlie Brown
Christmas” w/ Boston
City Singers Choir
[8pm, 10pm/$28]
Seen here headlin-
ing at Backyard-a-
palooza ’07.
Bobbielee, 12.16.08,
at My House.
MUSIC | FOR ADVERTISING + LISTINGS INFO, LISTINGS@WEEkLYDIG.COM
r
e
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a
a
r
o
n
Dude, quit playing
peek-a-boo through
my hair. It’s so
not metal.
Razormaze, 12.15.08,
at O’Brien’s.
TUESDAY 12.16
You don’t want to
know what Kathy
learned in band
camp. Kathy Olson,
12.17.08, at
Fireplace.
WEDNESDAY 12.17
SUNDAY 12.14
MONDAY 12.15
Plough & Stars
Frank Drake and the
Aristocrats [5pm/21+]
Frank Morey Band
[9pm/21+]
Precinct
Sea Monsters
[10pm/21+]

Rise
Earth
[2am/18+/$10 mem-
bers, $20 guests]
Ryles
Jazz Brunch
[10am-3pm]
Salsa Sundays
[6pm/18+/$10]
Wilbur Theatre
Bon Iver
[8pm/$21.50]
Upstairs
Wed 12/10
This is how rumors get started,
Sincerely the Management,
Doug Orey $8adv/$9dos
thu 12/11
Leedz Edutainment presents
Rhymezwell CD Release Party
featuring Ebb & Flow,
Calvery Crew, Nox Beatz &
Fat Ricky, L.E.G. and more
$10adv$13dos
Fri 12/12
Neptune, Parts & Labor,
Big Bear, Thief Thief $9
sat 12/13
+/- (a.ka. Plus/Minus,
Absolutely Kosher Records)
with Mean Creek, Cotton
Jones $10
sun 12/14 Matinee
Brick by Brick Productions
presents
Have Nots, Brunt Of It,
Interrobang?!,
Kill Conrad All Ages $10
NOTE: 1pm Doors
sun 12/14 Night show
Grimis, Blastronauts, Action
Verbs, Plastic Reverie
$8adv/$9dos
Mon 12/15
Polk Records presents
Another Polk Christmas Party
with The Antlers, Gypsy Cab,
The Beasts of England,
This Building’s On Fire,
Alive and Awake $8
NOTE: 8pm Doors
tue 12/16
The Living Sea, The Mystery
Tramps, Loud Clappers $8
Wed 12/17
Sparky’s Flaw
(Mercury Records, fr. VA),
Sunset is a Battle,
Soap Stars $9
DoWNstairs
thu 12/11
MassConcerts presents The
New Deal, Mocean Worker
$22adv/$25dos
Fri 12/12
Freezepop,
Bon Savants,
The Toothaches,
Barnicle $12
sat 12/13
Team Shred presents
The Viennagram,
Asleep in a Box,
Aux, Sizzlechest $10
Wed 12/17
MassConcerts presents
Taproot, Silent Season, Resin
12
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LADYHAWKE | S/T
As a tremendous Pavement fan in college, I practi-
cally became a deadhead (asphalt-face?) when I
followed them on a short Midwestern tour, and I
am all for supporting indie labels like Matador. But
after buying the deluxe Wowee Zowee, I’m starting
to tire of this nostalgia trip. “Transport Is Arranged”
sounds better than ever, but hearing unreleased
songs just feels like a waste and is even effecting
my once-pristine devotion to these NoCal boys.
Leave them unreleased much? [DAVID DAY]
More from the fsh about her fshbowl. The themes
are tired and the melodies are snoring. And lyrics?
“I don’t care / I don’t care / I don’t care / I don’t
care.” I feel sorry for people who think this is good.
[DEBBIE DRISCOLL]
The usually reliable DFA Records teams up with
the hit-or-miss slow-brow disco label Rong Music
and the results are just as mixed. I’m not sure who
would take to the lead single “Never Hear Surf Mu-
sic Again,” or its odd Barfy Mix, but I do know re-
edit king Greg Wilson can make any track hum like
a newly tuned Aston Martin. He turns the strange,
clattering “Grumpy” into a smooth dancefoor
machine. [ADA HUTCHINSON]
Any music critic or magazine who already submit-
ted their best of 2008 is going to have egg on their
collective face in the years to come. There’s little
doubt this debut from New Zealand’s Phillipa “Pip”
Brown will go down as one of the best releases of
2008. It’s not simply her reinvention of ’80s “happy
sad” pop, and it’s not her sexy Stevie Nicks style.
It’s not the hipster drawl or the innumerable qual-
ity remixes. It’s the songwriting. While the ass-end
of US culture gobbles up Britney repeating “Wom-
anizer” 700 times, Brown is writing arena-worthy
anthems and legitimate songs. I am sure the offce
is sick to death of me playing “My Delirium,” but I,
for one, can’t get enough of it. As each verse passes
by, the wait for the brilliant chorus seems to get
longer. The video is the shit, too. All 12 songs are
like that. An excellent album. [DAVID DAY]
For ravers, “chill out” music is what you play after
you’ve stayed up all night, the sun is rising and
whatever drugs you’ve ingested are wearing off.
The idea is that ambient music is like a cleansing
mechanism, an aural Q-Tip to squeegee out what-
ever pulsing beat remnants are still glomming onto
your inner ear. Fennesz is like that, but the drugs are
of the everyday variety (caffeine, say) and the beat
is the regular detritus that flls our craniums as we
walk through the day. “The Colour of Three” sounds
like a harmonium from the planet Pluto, while the
melody you can hear through the static wall of
“Glide” (as played by drone cohort Rosy Parlane)
sounds like heaven. Christian Fennesz, of Austria, is
a modern composer like none other. Whether it’s
his masterpiece Endless Summer or “Vacuum” here,
he has the ability to make the celestial our own.
[ADA HUTCHINSON]
CD REVIEWS
GENRE | PERFECT-WORLD POP
VERDICT | THE ANTI-BRIT
RELEASE | 12.9.08
LABEL | MODULAR
INTERSCOPE
LADYHAWkEMUSIC.COM
GENRE | STATIC SOUND
VERDICT | LIVING MUSIC
RELEASE | 11.24.08
LABEL | TOUCH
FENNESZ.COM
FENNESZ | BLACk SEA
GENRE | WEIRDO BEARDO
VERDICT | DOWNLOAD THIS
RELEASE | 11.11.08
LABEL | RONG MUSIC
FREEBLOODMUSIC.COM
PAVEMENT | BRIGHTEN THE CORNERS: NICENE
CREEDENCE EDITION
FREE BLOOD | THE SINGLES
GENRE | POP AND GAG
VERDICT | STOP, PLEASE STOP
RELEASE | 11.2.08
LABEL | JIVE
BRITNEYSPEARS.COM
GENRE | ATHEIST SPIRITUALS
VERDICT | YULETIDE GHEY
RELEASE | 9.30.08
LABEL | ISLAND
MELISSAETHERIDGE.COM
GENRE | HIPPIE ROCk
VERDICT | SLACkENED FURTHER
RELEASE | 12.9.08
LABEL | MATADOR RECORDS
MATADORRECORDS.COM/
PAVEMENT
From the department of the inevitable: “We are proud to announce that Tiësto has teamed up with
the game developer Activision and their latest project DJ Hero … ‘This is a great way to introduce
people into DJing,’” says Tiësto, “‘Maybe they realize it’s not as easy as they think.’” Dude, shut up.
BRITNEY SPEARS | CIRCUS
ZURMUS ZUNZUN
When Etheridge’s growl barrels into
“Christmas (Baby Please Come
Home)” and she takes in that
sexy, clenched inhale, it gives me
the shudders. [DEBBIE DRISCOLL]
MELISSA ETHERIDGE | A NEW THOUGHT FOR CHRISTMAS


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43
I
f I were clever, I’d write an entire
review of this flm that left you
wondering what my true opinion
of it was. Doubt is supposed to be
about just that—not knowing if an
accused priest is diddling one of his altar
boys, and using that to question orga-
nized religion. The play is known for its
even-handedness, but the flm unsubtly
games the outcome.
It’s hard to imagine going wrong
with Philip Seymour Hoffman and
Meryl Streep, two of the most deservedly
decorated thespians in the biz. Hoffman
plays Father Brendan Flynn, a priest with
a lively sense of humor and intensity for
living who, in a sign of the times, fnds
himself breaking away from the stodgy
Catholic mindset. Streep is Sister Aloysius
Beauvier, a brutal disciplinarian nun with
a Brooklyn accent who, as school principal,
is chief enforcer of the status quo. All that
screenwriter/playwright/director John
Patrick Shanley really had to do was hand
them his script, set up a camera and get
his ass out of their way. Shanley, however,
seems ultimately incapable of doing that.
The opening scenes set the table,
taking us behind the curtain of an aver-
age Sunday service, starting with a child
waking up and hurrying to the church for
his altar boy duties. The camera gradu-
ally takes in a number of viewpoints,
cutting between churchgoers chatting
as they head down the city streets, and
Flynn, preparing to give his sermon. As
the reverend speaks about doubt and
freedom of dissent, Sister Aloysius polices
the pews, striking terror into the hearts
of snoozing tykes. Shanley smoothly
contrasts the sound and the visuals, using
a handheld cam for Streep and a static
shot of Hoffman, constantly switching the
two viewpoints as the sermon continues,
emphasizing the divide between the main
protagonists that will become the center-
piece of the flm.
Amy Adams enters as Sister James, one
of the teaching nuns, looking effectively
down-to-earth (and far from Enchanted).
As the kids line up outside the school, one
of them is singled out by Aloysius, and
Flynn remarks to Sister James: “The dragon
is hungry,” hinting of the confict to come.
As long as the tone is subtle, Doubt
works. Shanley does 1964 so well, with
such perfectly realized clothes, cars and
details like transistor radios and authen-
tic telephones, you almost believe the
flm was actually shot back then. But as
the plot kicks in, Shanley’s creditability
erodes. Sister James accuses Flynn of
NAMBLing the only black kid in school.
A taut meeting ensues in Sister Aloy-
sius’ offce, and Shanley drives home his
characters’ emotional states by tilting
the camera to the side, à la the Batman
TV series. Bad move. It undercuts the
slow-motion freworks going on between
the actors. Sister Aloysius talks to the
kid’s mother (Viola Davis), and we fnd
out he’s gay and his father beats him. We
also fnd out that when she cries, a line
of mucous drops out of her nose toward
her mouth, and Shanley features it in
bracing close-ups.
In the end, this delicate web is woven
for naught, as Shanley’s heavy editorializ-
ing makes us certain of what happened,
instead of keeping the outcome up in
the air, leaving me to doubt whether
Shanley should have ever directed his
own screenplay.
DOUBT
Award-winning play turns to movie mush
review BY DAviD wiLDMAN | wildman@weeklydig.com
I’m afraid this
isn’t the Robert
Downey Jr. movie
trailer in Tropic
Thunder.
DOUBT
RATED | PG-13
OPENS | 12.12.08
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Music biopic standards have been low-
ered in recent years due to the success of
both Ray and Walk the Line, two prestige-
oriented studio flms. Coated with family
values and crowd-pleasing rhythms, both
movies use star power and loose truths
to broadly categorize the music, the prob-
lems and the personas within. They may
be entertaining, but they never developed
into something of lasting insight.
It’s a relief that Cadillac Records, by
little-known flm director Darnell Martin,
manages to break those constraints. In
Records, the lives of Muddy Waters (Jeffrey
Wright), Little Walter (Columbus Short),
Willie Dixon (Cedric the Entertainer),
Chuck Berry (Mos Def) and Etta James
(Beyoncé Knowles) are told from the
perspective of Leonard Chess (Adrien
Brody), a small-town producer who, in
1947 along with his brother, created the
famous Chess Records studio in the South
Side of Chicago.
Shot with an unassuming attention
to detail, Records doesn’t feel like a history
lesson as much as it does an immersion.
Martin’s approach is deeply authentic and
her ensemble of actors—each of whom
envelop themselves into the bodies and
souls of their characters—lends the flm a
piercing sense of drama.
The structure of the story is what
hurts the production the most. Martin
elicits excellent turns from her cast, (espe-
cially Wright, Mos Def and Knowles), but
her narration jumps too fast at too many
pivotal moments, leaving signifcant plot
lines—like Etta James’ drug addiction—
unexplored and incomplete.
The overall craft, however, trumps any
narrative faws. Unlike Ray and Walk the
Line, the flm sits with its characters and
their lives through the angry, heartbreak-
ing and joyful riffs of their music. This is
what music biopics are supposed to do,
and it is in this essential vein that Cadillac
Records succeeds.
AMC Chestnut Hill
27 Boylston St.,
Chestnut Hill
617.277.2500
Screens: 5
[Prices: $9.25 GA;
$8.25 students; $7.25
seniors & matinees;
$6.25 children.
Nearby T service:
Chestnut Hill (Green
Line D Branch); Bus
Routes 60, 51]
AMC Loews Boston
Common
175 Tremont St., Bos-
ton 617.423.5801
Screens: 12
[Prices: $10 GA; $9
students; $8 seniors
& matinees; $7
children. Nearby T ser-
vice: Boylston (Green
Line, Silver Line), Park
Street (Green Line,
Red Line), Chinatown
(Orange Line, Silver
Line); Bus Route 43]
AMC Loews Harvard
Square
10 Church St., Cam-
bridge 617.864.4580
Screens: 5
[Prices: $9.25 GA;
$8.25 students; $7.25
seniors & matinees;
$6.25 children.
Nearby T service:
Harvard Station (Red
Line); Bus Routes 1,
71-75, 77-78, 96]
Brattle Theatre
40 Brattle St., Cam-
bridge 617.876.6837
Screens: 1
[Prices: $9.50 GA;
$7.50 students &
matinees; $6.50
seniors & children.
Nearby T service:
Harvard Station (Red
Line); Bus Routes 1,
66, 71, 73, 86]
Capitol Theatre
204 Mass. Ave., Arling-
ton 781.648.4340
Screens: 6
[Prices: $7 GA; $6.50
students; $5 children
before 6pm, seniors
& matinees. Nearby
T service: Bus Routes
77, 87, 350]
Circle Cinemas
399 Chestnut Hill Ave.,
Brookline 617.566.4040
Screens: 7
[Prices: $9.75 GA;
$7.25 seniors, children
& matinees. Nearby
T service: Reservoir
(Green Line D Branch),
Cleveland Circle
(Green Line C Branch),
Chestnut Hill Ave.
(Green Line B Branch);
Bus Routes 51, 86]
Coolidge Corner
Theatre
290 Harvard St.,
Brookline 617.734.2500
Screens: 4
[Prices: $9.50 GA; $7.50
seniors & children
(Fri-Sun); $6.50 seniors
& children (Mon-Thu);
$6 members; $7.50
matinees. Nearby
T service: Coolidge
Corner (Green Line C
Branch), Harvard Ave.
(Green Line B Branch);
Bus Route 66]
Entertainment
Cinemas Fresh Pond
168 Alewife Brook
Parkway, Cambridge
617.661.2900
Screens: 5
[Prices: $8.75 GA;
$5.75 seniors, children
& matinees. Nearby
T service: Alewife
Station (Red Line); Bus
Route 83]
Harvard Film Archive
24 Quincy St., Har-
vard University, Cam-
bridge 617.495.4700
Screens: 1
[Prices: $8 GA; $6
seniors & students.
Nearby T service: Har-
vard Station (Red Line);
Bus Routes 1, 69, 86]
Kendall Square
Cinema
1 Kendall Sq., Cam-
bridge 617.499.1996
Screens: 9
[Prices: $9.25 GA; $7
seniors, children &
matinees. Nearby T
service: Kendall Sta-
tion (Red Line)]
Museum of Fine Arts
465 Huntington Ave.,
Boston 617.369.3907
Screens: 1
[Prices: $9 GA; $8
seniors, children, &
students; $7 matinees
for GA; $6 matinees
for seniors, children
& students. Nearby T
service: MFA (Green
Line E Branch); Bus
Routes 39, 47]
Regal Fenway
Stadium
201 Brookline Ave.,
Boston 617.424.6111
Screens: 13
[Prices: $10 GA; $8
students & matinees;
$7.75 seniors; $7 chil-
dren. Nearby T service:
Kenmore (Green Line),
Fenway (Green Line D
Branch); Bus Routes 8,
60, 65, 47]
Showcase Cinemas
Revere
565 Squire Rd., Revere
781.286.1660
Screens: 20
[Prices: $10 GA; $7.25
seniors, children &
matinees. Nearby T
service: Bus Routes 119,
411, 426, 428-429]
Somerville Theatre
55 Davis Sq., Somer-
ville 617.625.5700
Screens: 5
[Prices: $7 GA; $6.50
students; $5 children
before 6pm, seniors
& matinees. Nearby T
service: Davis Station
(Red Line); Bus Routes
87, 88, 90, 94, 96]
theAter DirectorY
Stare at that American Apparel ad a little
longer—no, not at those, look at the font.
It’s Helvetica, a typeface that is bold,
precise, and, like the babe in the ad, it’s on
every street corner. However, the story of
Helvetica and how it came to be so “used”
isn’t what you think; in fact, it’s a story
about the tides of war, radical idealism
and the neutral Swiss.
In the documentary flm Helvetica, the
origins and motivations of the promiscu-
ous font are brought to light, and I prom-
ise, you have never heard design geeks
speak so lustily about anything. Design is
a universal language that infuences the
way we think, act and organize ourselves.
And as much as the words themselves are
important, the medium by which we are
told where we are and where we should
aspire to go is our silent negotiator.
Given that Helvetica is the font we most
see on our street signs, advertisements
and corporate slogans, it’s no wonder
that Helvetica has raised controversy,
being labeled by some as the typeface of
capitalism, and by others as the typeface
of socialism.
Being somewhat of a font nerd myself,
I was truly moved by the poetic and
inspiring way that such famous designers
and typographers as Neville Brody and
Michael Bierut describe their art form
and the power of a single font. And even
the tasteless heathens will appreciate the
excellent cinematography and soundtrack,
which includes Caribou, El Ten Eleven and
Motohiro Nakashima. In photo-like, single
shots, we see text in a new way—through
a designer’s expert lens, as it’s slathered on
signs, walls and windows in over 50 cities
worldwide. Ambient music plays and the
skeptical viewer is mysteriously convinced
by the sensitivities of the distances be-
tween letters.
Helvetica speaks.
You were right, Godzilla
doesn’t have any balls.
CADILLAC RECORDS
RATED | R
NOW SHOWING | AMC LOEWS
BOSTON COMMON, REGAL
FENWAY 13, KENDALL SQUARE
CINEMA, AMC BRAINTREE
review BY hArrY vAUGhN
CADILLAC RECORDS
A meaningful, musical biopic
A movie about the only people that
can make comic book geeks cool.
HELVETICA
SATURDAY 12.13.08
RABB LECTURE HALL
BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY
700 BOYLSTON ST., BOSTON
2PM/FREE
RSVP: PROGRAMS@USAHOSTELS.ORG
BPL.ORG
HELVECTICAFILM.COM
review BY cArriGAN DeNNY-BrowN
HELvETICA
Free documentary screening demonstrates the power of font


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45
[dvd]
For the hiP-hoP
heAD
[video game]
For ANY GAMer
At ALL
[book]
For the
PArtYiNG PoPS
[dvd]
For the Brit
coMeDY Lover
PoP SUrF cULtUre | By BRian cHideSTeR and domenic PRioRe
SANtA MoNicA PreSS | $39.95
Dads with too-large record collections will recognize Domenic
Priore as the man who compiled Look! Listen! Vibrate! SMiLE!, the
frst scholarly text dedicated to the mysteries of The Beach Boys’
lost album. Priore and co-author Brian Chidester have amassed their
knowledge into a book that traces not only surfng itself but also it’s
metaphor for the Beats, a movement that eventually represented
’60s counterculture. Pop Surf Culture is both coffee table book and
textbook, with a stunning collection of rare relics and photographs.
Sixties pop obsessives will be rewarded with more than enough
connections and recommendations to make the book pay for itself
(did you know that before Deep Throat, Carol Connors was a surf
rock queen?). Film fans will likewise fnd a favorable assessment of
the beach movie genre. With plenty of history and eye candy, Pop
Surf Culture wins. [JoNAthAN DoNALDSoN]
DiGGiNG For Dirt: the LiFe AND DeAth oF oDB | Jamie lowe
FABer & FABer | $25
As hip-hop stars go, shit, as anything anywhere ever goes, Ol’ Dirty
Bastard was one of a kind. Up until now, a categorical biography
of the amazing MC was missing from my bookshelf. I’m happy to
say Jamie Lowe, a New York writer with a litany of articles, has
frmly stuck the landing with this one. From Wu-Tang MCs to ODB’s
parental units, as well as managers and friends, Lowe justly weaves
a convoluted web of race, mental illness and, of course, the MC’s
agile ability to turn a phrase into a catchphrase. With more innate
knowledge than even I expected, Russell Jones (or “Rusty,” to his
moms) survives as both an enigma and legend, and Lowe’s heartfelt
tome wraps it all up with dexterous diligence. [BreNt t. iNGrAM]
DIG THAT | HOLIDAY SHOPPING EDITION!
Mr. BeAN | THe UlTimaTe collecTion
A&e hoMe viDeo | $69.95
Never mind the queen, God save the Bean! A neatly dressed yet an-
noyingly awkward character, Mr. Bean’s antics always manage to fnd
some way to gracefully (or gracelessly) win me over. Easily one of my
favorite Brits—sandwiched between Beckham and Craig—Atkinson’s
brainchild has become an iconic fgure in British comedy while creat-
ing an international cult following. Just in time for the holidays, Mr.
Bean: The Ultimate Collection is a seven-disc box set complete with
the entire Mr. Bean TV series, Bean: The Movie, Mr. Bean’s Holiday
and Mr. Bean: The Animated Series. If this isn’t enough (and for fans it
never, ever is), we’re treated to deleted scenes, a mind-blowing music
video and glimpses into what it took to create such brilliance. With
hours of fun, you too can live the Bean. [JeNNiFer choi]
PrePAiD GiFt cArDS | wii PoinTS, micRoSoFT PoinTS oR
PlaySTaTion neTwoRk
NiNteNDo, MicroSoFt, SoNY | VaRioUS PRiceS
Not sure what to get that grubby, Cheetos-encrusted gamer?
How about prepaid gift cards? Some of the best games of 2008
aren’t available in stores, but distributed digitally and download-
able straight to the console, including top titles like World of Goo
on the Wii, Braid and Geometry Wars II for the 360, and PixelJunk
Eden for the PS3. All it takes is an internet connection and a credit
card, or one of these gift cards. With a Wii Point card, your gamer
buddy can download new WiiWare games or classics through the
Virtual Console. Microsoft Points and PlayStation Network cards
can pay for not just new games, but additional content for disc-
based standards. Or get them a few crates of Mountain Dew from
Sam’s Club instead. [GArret MArtiN]
[book]
For YoUr SiSter
[dvd]
For MY MoM
[dvd]
For the weSterN-
oBSeSSeD, vULGAr
GrAMPS
[video game]
For the
DS-ADLLeD
DeADwooD | THe comPleTe SeRieS
hBo viDeo | $179.97
With the look of Tombstone, the dramatic ambitions of Shake-
speare (no joke—the dialogue segues in and out of iambic pentam-
eter) and more fucks per minute than a season of The Osbournes,
Deadwood comes at you like a fnely tooled boot to the face.
Although something of an anomaly, Deadwood reinvented how
the drama of the American West could be done and showed that
everything’s better when you can be profane and profound. With
23 discs in all, Deadwood is ready to kick the ass of any other show
you have on the DVD shelf. Much like rye whiskey, the show might
be a little harsh at frst, but if you just keep at it, you fnd some-
thing that ultimately reveals itself as rich and complex. “Merry
motherfucking Christmas, cocksucker.” [JArroD ANNiS]
i Live here | By mia kiRSHneR, J.B. mackinnon, PaUl SHoeBRidge
and micHael SimonS
PANtheoN | $29.95
This elegant and well-designed documentary book is in fact four
books in one. Although the inclusion of Mia Kirschner as author
undoubtedly grabbed everyone’s attention, they were all pleasantly
surprised, from the Village Voice on down to Elle. Thanks to her
impassioned writing, and her design of AdBusters’ own Simons and
Shoebridge, we’re clearly informed of differentiating plights from
around the world. In one book, we are taken to a Chechen refugee
camp in Ingushetia, Russia; another transports us to the ethnic
cleansing in Burma. The effects of globalization in Mexico and AIDS
in Malawi round out this upsetting travelogue. Herself a granddaugh-
ter of the Holocaust, Kirschner would seize the imagination of any
young mind, her rowr-inducing appearances in the L Word, Exotica
and others notwithstanding. [ADA hitchiNSoN]
NiNJAtowN | SoUTHPeak inTeRacTiVe
NiNteNDo DS | $29.99
In the ’80s, young Americans had a bloodlust for all things ninja.
I’ve always hated the damn things, though. I didn’t expect much
out of Ninjatown, then, which looked like a rip-off of Desktop
Tower Defense propped up with tired ninja jokes. But Ninjatown’s
actually pretty awesome—an adorable and genuinely funny game
for all ages. The ninjas of Ninjatown are like Smurfs, little critters
protected by a white-whiskered patriarch called Ol’ Master Ninja.
Through him, players oversee the defense of Ninjatown from
invading demons by building various fortifcations. Like most tower
defense games, Ninjatown is more about strategy, although there
are a few special powers that make use of the DS touch-screen
and microphone. Diffculty escalates nicely, and levels continually
introduce new game-play mechanics, perfect for both seasoned
and occasional gamers. [GArrett MArtiN]
LittLe hoUSe oN the PrAirie | THe comPleTe TeleViSion SeRieS
LioNS GAte | $279.98
The look on my mom’s face is easily worth the cashola one would
spend on this overwhelmingly complete version of the most whole-
some TV show of all time. In the ’70s, a decade of debauchery,
sexual revolution and key parties, Laura Ingalls Wilder’s wholesome
time-machine transported my dear mother once a week to an era
when the unknown American frontier depended on religious myth to
maintain order (Michael Landon was probably a sex god, too). Plus,
with the election of Barack Obama, she’ll now have something else
to watch besides the bilious Fox News Channel. All nine seasons are
here, as are the three made-for-TV movies and seven-plus hours
of bonus material. I won’t even mind spending the rest of the day
showing her how to work the DVD player. I can already hear her
exclaim: “Good gracious!” [DAviD DAY]
12
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46
“T
igers come from Bangladesh,
Siberia, Iran, Afghanistan,
China, India and Indiana. All of
the tigers weigh 660 pounds. […] They
can each eat your head,” writes 9-year-
old Anthony Mejia. He is one of three 826
Boston students whose writing is being
artistically interpreted by over 50 artists
for an upcoming auction to beneft
826 Boston. For those in the dark,
826 Boston is the seventh branch of
826 National, a nonproft founded
by McSweeney’s editor Dave Eggers.
Based in Egleston Square, Roxbury,
they work to support and enrich the
Boston education system by inspiring
kids to write—and write creatively.
They provide a selection of free
programs for urban youth, ages 6-18,
including daily drop-in tutoring, in-
classroom collaboration with Boston
teachers, volunteer-guided writ-
ing workshops and feld trips. “The
goal,” says executive director Daniel
Johnson, “is to get them really excited
about reading and writing.”
Every 826 location is embedded in
a wacky storefront: The Boring Store
in Chicago, Seattle’s Space Travel Sup-
ply Store and so on. In our case, it’s
the Greater Boston Bigfoot Research
Institute, a completely imaginary
think tank dedicated to researching the
bipedal cryptids; the profts of the store
go toward the writing and tutoring
center in the back room. “It also serves
as a big source of inspiration for the
students,” says Johnson.
In addition to Mejia’s piece, an il-
lustrated broadside of 9-year-old Sophia
Madden’s Ode to a Tree, a half-English,
half-Spanish poem penned during an
826 poetry workshop, will be auctioned.
Also up for auction is an excerpt from
Chiomo Nwaoha’s essay, A Bright and
Sunny Day, included in I Wish They
Would Have Asked Me, the 826 anthol-
ogy of writing done by students at the
English High School in Jamaica Plain.
“It’s a great change to walk into an
after-school space where the kids are
happy to be there,” said Robert daVies,
founder of Rope-a-Dope Press, a pub-
lishing collaborative based in Southie
that’s collaborating with 826 to produce
limited-edition broadsides.
The broadsides are illustrated in
response to the students’ writings.
“Photography, charcoal, lots of different
mediums will be used to respond,” says
Johnson. Rope-a-Dope’s daVies, also an
artist, illustrated a response to Madden’s
Ode to a Tree: a pen and ink drawing of
a tall tree. Most of the tree is dark gray,
the shadow contrasted in black ink. The
composition mimics the relationship
between the Spanish and English used
in Sophia’s poem.
In addition to the prints, 25 pieces by
contemporary artists (Kiki Smith, Jane
Marsching, Michael Mazur and more)
have been donated for the auction.
James Jean’s Maze creates a dreamy
pop-surrealist atmosphere, where a
boy chases a hula hoop in the distance
and his fairy-tale sister watches him,
leaning on a hula hoop constructed in
the pattern of a labyrinth. The dream-
like depiction of childhood combined
with the symbolism of the labyrinth
supporting the girl feed into the concept
of childhood as a dream, leaning on a
bigger dream—the future, where walls
are perpetually hit and new routes taken,
dead ends being sometimes unavoidable.
Maze is extremely appropriate for
826, an organization that is trying to
minimize dead ends and empower the
next generation through communica-
tion and self-expression.
David Wain may be less recognizable
than his unfappably ironic Stella troupe-
mates Michael Showalter and Michael
Ian Black, but he’s no less prolifc. The
creator of MyDamnChannel.com’s Wainy
Days and co-writer/director of cult favor-
ites present (Wet Hot American Summer)
and future (The Ten, Role Models), Wain
brings laughter to the masses with
Black and Showalter (joined by Eugene
Mirman in Boston) for a brief tour.
IN HIS STAND-UP, SHOWALTER READS THE
New York Times’ STRANGELy PERSONAL
NEGATIVE REVIEW Of STELLA. DID THOSE
kINDS Of REACTIONS CONfUSE yOU?
We defnitely got some of those hostile-
type reviews. Wet Hot, The State, The
Ten and Stella all got a lot of “You’ve
personally offended this critic, and I’m
angry at you guys for being so unfunny.”
It’s particularly dumbfounding for us,
because we really thought we were just
doing comedy. Some people are not inter-
ested in seeing what a lot of our comedy
is, which is sort of profoundly, purposely
unfunny. For some reason, we elicit true,
genuine hostility among some critics,
and then the other half of the critics are
praising it as funny, groundbreaking
and innovative. I’d rather be there than
everyone saying it was OK.
CAN yOU ENjOy yOUR OLD WORk, OR ARE
yOU ALWAyS EVALUATING IT?
I am particularly not like that. When we’re
fnishing something and I’m seeing it for
the frst time, then I’m watching all the
decisions, thinking, Oh, we could have
done that differently and shit, I wish I
could go back. But, from that point on,
whenever I see it, I can just enjoy it. I’m
always like, “Oh, wow, that was awesome.”
THAT’S INTERESTING, BECAUSE SOmEONE
LIkE WOODy ALLEN fAmOUSLy NEVER
RE-WATCHES HIS OLD mOVIES.
To some degree, I understand that, because
you get so sick of it, and then you’re done
with it and you can’t change it. I just saw
Wet Hot for the frst time in many, many
years at a screening in Los Angeles, and
I have to say I loved it. To be separated
from all of the headaches and sweat you
went through—in Wet Hot’s case, for four
years—and to be able to see it as not just a
movie but a movie that came through your
brain and soul—it’s a great experience.
STELLA DID AN OBAmA BENEfIT SHOW.
IS THERE ANyTHING IN HIS VICTORy THAT
yOU’D LIkE TO TAkE CREDIT fOR?
New York and Pennsylvania at the most.
There were other factors, but if you look
at what the New York Times said and a
lot of what the more reputable analysts
are saying, the Stella support is what
swung Pennsylvania.
WHAT’S THE fIRST ISSUE OBAmA
SHOULD TACkLE?
We want to see him promoting corn dogs
more. A lot of people don’t eat corn dogs;
a lot of people who eat corn dogs claim
not to like them. I think we need to work
on both the quality, and the distribu-
tion of corn dogs. They need to be more
readily available. I think they should be at
every Starbucks.
a + e
DAvID WAIN
Stella partner and comedy director bros down
iNterview BY roB tUrBovSKY
j
a
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e
s

j
e
a
n
826 ART AUCTION
Drawing inspiration from kids, for a cause
Preview BY NiShA MAXweLL
STELLA
WITH EUGENE MIRMAN
THURSDAY 12.11.08
WILBUR THEATRE
246 TREMONT ST., BOSTON
617.931.2000
7:30PM/ALL AGES/$29.50
THEWILBURTHEATRE.COM
STELLACOMEDY.COM
826 BOSTON’S ART AUCTION
FRIDAY 12.12.08
ROBERT KLEIN GALLERY
38 NEWBURY ST., BOSTON
617.442.5400
6PM/FREE
ROBERTKLEINGALLERY.COM
826BOSTON.ORG


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47
Atlantic Works Gallery
80 Border St., top foor,
East Boston. atlantic-
works.org
12
Thu 12.4-Sat 1.10
Hynes Convention
Center: South Rotunda
Gallery
900 Boylston St.,
Boston. 617.954.3787.
susanpost.com
The Defning Line
Mon 12.1-Fri 1.16
Reception: Thu 12.11
[5pm-7pm]
Kingston Gallery
450 Harrison Ave. #43,
Boston. 617.423.4113.
kingstongallery.com
Simmons College Cu-
ratorial Studies Seminar:
On the Street
Tue 12.2-Sat 12.20
MIT List Visual Arts
Center
20 Aims St., Cambridge.
617.253.4680. listart.
mit.edu
Adel Abdessemed:
Situation and Practice
Sat 10.11-Sun 1.4
Gallery Talk with Mark
Linga
Sat 12.20 [2pm-3pm]
Tufts University Art
Gallery
40R Talbot Ave., Med-
ford. 617.627.3094. ase.
tufts.edu/gallery
MFA Thesis Exhibition
Thu 12.4-Sun 12.21
WORDS
Brookline Booksmith
279 Harvard St., Brook-
line. 617.566.6660.
brooklinebooksmith.com
Thu 12.11 Stephen
Pimpare and Howard
Zinn, APeople’s History of
Poverty inAmerica[7pm]
Tue 12.16 M.T. Ander-
son, The Astonishing Life
of Octavian Nothing,
Traitor to the Nation,
Volume II: The Kingdom
on the Waves and Deb
Olin Unferth, Vacation
[7pm]
Cantab Lounge
(Downstairs)
738 Mass. Ave., Central
Sq., Cambridge.
617.354.2685.
cantab-lounge.com
Wed 12.10 Boston
Poetry Slam w/ Max
Kessler [8pm/18+/$3]
Wed 12.17 Boston Po-
etry Slam w/ Eric Darby
[8pm/18+/$3]
Coolidge Corner Theatre
290 Harvard St., Brook-
line. 617.734.2500.
brooklinebooksmith.com
Wed 12.10 Christopher
Kimball, Jack Bishop,
Becky Hays and Test
Kitchen Director Erin
McMurrer, America’s Test
Kitchen Family Baking
Book [6pm/$5]
Harvard Book Store
1256 Mass. Ave.,
Harvard Sq., Cambridge.
617.661.1515.
harvard.com
Wed 12.17 The
Philosophy Café, Soul
vs. Cybernetics: Who
are you, essentially?
[7:30pm]
Lizard Lounge
1667 Mass. Ave., Cam-
bridge. 617.547.0759.
lizardloungeclub.com
Sun 12.14 Lizard
Lounge Poetry Night
feat. The Jeff Robinson
Trio [8pm/21+/$5]
Porter Square Books
25 White St., Porter Sq.,
Cambridge. 617.491.2220.
portersquarebooks.com
Sun 12.14 Knit One,
Read Too [1pm]


COMEDY
Comedy Studio
Harvard Square
1238 Mass. Ave., Cam-
bridge. 617.661.6507.
thecomedystudio.com
Wed 12.10 Fresh Faces
w/ Kevin Anglin, Shaun
Bedgood, PJ Brown, Rob
Creen, et al [8pm/$8]
Thu 12.11 The Thursday
Show! [8pm/$8]
Fri 12.12 Ken Reid
hosts w/ Alvin David,
Mike Lemme, Drew
Spangler, Steve Macone,
et al [8pm/$10]
Sat 12.13 Nate John-
son, Steve Macone, Brian
Moote, Tony Maschetto,
et al [8pm/$10]
Sun 12.14 The Shaun
Bedgood Show [8pm/$8]
Tue 12.16 Mystery
Lounge [8pm/$10]
Wed 12.17 Dan Crohn,
Mike Del Ilano, Andrew
Raymond Durson, Steve
Macone, et al [8pm/$8]
Dick’s Beantown
Comedy Vault at
Remington’s Restaurant
124 Boylston St.,
Boston. 617.574.9697.
dickdoherty.com
Thu 12.11 The
Chris Zito Show
[8:30pm/21+/$12]
Fri 12.12 Chris Zito,
Orlando Baxter and
friends [9pm/21+/$20]
Sat 12.13 Chris
Zito, Orlando Baxter
and friends [8pm,
10:15pm/21+/$20]
Sun 12.14 Carolyn
Plummer hosts Boston’s
Longest Open Mic
[9pm/21+/$12]
Mon 12.15 Kevin
Knox Comedy Showcase
[8:30pm/21+/$12]
Tue 12.16 Jim Lau-
letta Comedy Showcase
[8:30pm/21+/$12]
Mottley’s Comedy Club
61 Chatham St., Boston.
617.427.0093.
mottleycomedy.com
Wed 12.10 The
Lincoln Exhibit w/ Jon
Lincoln, Chris Coxen,
Robbie Roadsteamer
[7:30pm/21+/$10]
Thu 12.11 Su-
pershow w/ Dan
Sally, Andy Ofesh
[7:30pm/21+/$10]
Fri 12.12 The Walsh
Brothers w/ special,
possibly strange, guests
[7:30pm/21+/$20]
Sat 12.13 The Walsh
Brothers w/ special,
possibly strange, guests
[7:30pm/21+/$20]
Wed 12.17 The
Lincoln Exhibit w/Jon
Lincoln, Chris Coxen
[7:30pm/21+/$10]
Improv Asylum
216 Hanover St., Boston.
617.263.6887.
improvasylum.com
Thu 12.11 Free Pasta
Night [7pm/free], Main
Stage Show [8pm/$10-
$20], Free Improv Set
[9:45pm/free]
Fri 12.12 Main Stage
Show [8pm, 10pm/$10-
$20]
Sat 12.13 Main Stage
Show [8pm, 10pm/$18-
$20], Midnight Show
[12am/$10]
Wed 12.10 Vanity Proj-
ect [8pm/$7.50-$15]
Wilbur Theatre
106 Boylston St.,
Boston. 617.423.4008.
thewilburtheatre.com
Wed 12.10 NESN
Comedy All Stars
[7:30pm/free]
Thu 12.11 Stella
[7:30pm/$29.50]
THEATER
Citi Performing Arts
Center Wang Theatre
270 Tremont St.,
Boston. 617.482.9393.
citicenter.org
Dr. Suess’ How The
Grinch Stole Christmas!
The Musical [$28-$78]
Wed 11.26-Sun 12.28
[Tue 7:30pm; Wed
11:30am & 7:30pm; Thu
7:30pm; Fri 5pm & 8pm;
Sat 11am, 2pm, 5pm &
8pm; Sun 11am, 2pm
& 5pm]
Boston Playwrights
Theatre
949 Comm. Ave.,
Boston. 866.811.4111.
bu.edu/bpt
Bella Muerte [$12-$15]
Fri 12.5-Sat 12.13 [8pm]
Gold Dust Orphans at
Theater Machine
1256 Boylston St.,
Boston. 617.266.8511.
golddustorphans.com
All About Christmas
Eve [$28, $30]
Fri 12.5-Sun 1.3 [Fri &
Sat 8pm, Sun 12.21 &
Sun 12.28 4pm]
Huntington Theatre/
Boston Center for
the Arts
527 Tremont St., Boston.
617.266.0800.
huntingtontheatre.org
Lea DeLaria [$25]
Thu 12.11-Sat 12.13
[schedule varies]
American Repertory
Theatre
64 Brattle St., Harvard Sq.,
Cambridge. 617.547.8300.
amrep.org
Largo Desolato [$5,
$10]
Fri 12.5-Sat 12.13 [Thu-
Sun 7:30pm]
Central Square Theatre
450 Mass. Ave., Central Sq.,
Cambridge. 617.576.9278.
centralsquaretheatre.org
Alice’s Adventures Un-
derground [$18-$32]
Thu 12.4-Sun 12.28
[schedule varies]
Lyric Stage Company
140 Clarendon St.,
Boston. 617.585.5678.
lyricstage.com
The Mystery of Irma
Vep [$25-$50]
Fri 11.28-Sun 12.21
[schedule varies]
New Repertory Theatre
321 Arsenal St., Water-
town. 617.923.8487.
newrep.org
Charles Dickens’ A
Christmas Carol [$35-
$55]
Sun 12.14-Sun 12.28
[schedule varies]
The Santaland Diaries
[$35-$55]
Wed 12.17-Sun 1.4
[schedule varies]
Symphony Hall
301 Mass. Ave., Boston.
617.266.1492. bso.org
Boston’s Holiday Pops!
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Thu 12.11-Wed 12.31
[Tue-Sat 8pm]
Zero Arrow Theatre
Mass. Ave. and Arrow St.,
Harvard Sq., Cambridge.
617.547.8300. zeroar-
rowtheatre.org
Aurelia’s Oratorio
[$25-$79]
Fri 11.28-Sun 1.3
[schedule varies]
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marketplace
Cash for old Gold
We pay cash for your old,
broken, unworn gold and
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and watches too. We also
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free Yorkshire Terriers
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or 617-272-5774 (cell) with
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are You ThiNkiNG aBouT
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If you are between the ages
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esP sTudY- riGhT haNded
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Do you have ESP, telepathy
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hiv NeGaTive GaY/Bi meN
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participants will receive up
to $550 for a total of 4 out-
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jobs@klmgroup.com
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at www.klmgroup.com
BiliNGual??
Would You like To Be?
The Boston Area Spanish
Exchange is now enrolling for
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in high demand- learn a second
language! If you would like to
learn more about this opportu-
nity, please call
617-773-1211 for more info.
are You overWeiGhT??
We are recruiting women for a
clinical study at the Beth Israel
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Healthy women between ages
22-70 and at least 15 lbs over-
weight that are non-smoking and
not diabetic. Outpatient clinical
study examining the effects of a
medication on body weight and
hunger. The study involves visits
at the Beth Israel Deaconess
Medical Center Clinical Research
Center. 1 This study involves the
use of a medication approved
by the FDA for the treatment
of type 2 diabetes. Call Gosala
Gopalakrishnan/Dr Dushay at
617-667-0362 or email ggo-
palak@bidmc.harvard.edu
are You shY
Do you avoid doing things or
speaking to people because you
fear embarrassment? Do you
avoid being the center of atten-
tion? Do you worry excessively
about being embarrassed or look-
ing stupid? If you answered yes
to any of these questions, are over
18, and have no bipolar disorder,
no schizophrenia, an no recent
alcohol/drug abuse, you may be
eligible to participate in a medica-
tion treatment research study for
Social Anxiety. Clinical care is pro-
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1-866-44-worry or anxiet-
ystudy@partners.org
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classifieds | comics | savage love
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“I miss the care-free days of my youth, how can I recapture those?”
You can’t, get a job.
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I am obsessed with my girlfriend sitting on
my face, so I can eat her out while my nose
penetrates her. It drives her crazy as well. I
am wondering if you have heard of a dildo
that could be mounted on my face, specif-
cally on my nose, so that I penetrate her
more deeply while she sits on my face and I
lick her clit? Basically, I want her to be able
to really ride my face while I lick her clit.
-Strange Fantasy Dude
“Sadly, there’s no out-of-the-box solution
I can recommend,” says Cory Silverberg
of Come As You Are, Toronto’s worker-
owned-and-operated sex shop. “There are
harnesses that are meant to strap on to the
head, like the Head-On Harness available at
stockroom.com. But it covers the mouth.”
So you wouldn’t be able to eat your girl-
friend out with one buckled to your face.
Cory continues, “And there is the
often-poked-fun-at Accommodator.” (A
latex harness that straps a dildo to your
chin and looks just as ridiculous as it
feels.) “But it isn’t hollow, so it couldn’t
be worn comfortably over the nose,” he
says. And fnding something that fts
comfortably over your nose is going to be
your biggest problem.
“It would need to be hollow,” explains
Cory, “but it would need enough heft such
that it wouldn’t be constantly buckling
and hitting you in the mouth or between
the eyes. The tricky thing is that the nose
is so close to the eyes, so anything with
straps might dig in or at least go over the
eyes in an uncomfortable way.”
So what do you do?
“Get in touch with a good harness
maker and ask if they do custom work,”
Cory recommends. “One of my favorites
is Outlaw Leather in Seattle (outlawse-
attle.com).” Outlaw Leather produces
high-quality dildo harnesses and could,
in theory, make you a dildo
harness that fts comfortably
over your nose. Custom work
is expensive, of course. “But no
one said dreams came cheap,”
says Cory.
But if you’re going to go
the custom-made route, SFD,
I think you might have better
luck with a custom-made
hood. They’re designed to be
worn over the nose, and most
have mouth openings. You
could easily have one made
with a wider mouth opening and an
extended nosepiece.
“You could also go the Cyrano de
Bergerac route,” says Cory, “and look into
getting a high-quality prosthesis that
fts over the nose.” He thinks the folks
lurking at Pinocchia (forums.pinocchia.
com)—a site for guys into girls with big
noses—might have some idea where to
get a prosthesis.
I’m a 30-year-old, mildly genderqueer, bi-
leaning-het male virgin. I’m not uncom-
fortable around women—pretty much all
of my friends are women—I don’t really
have any confdence issues, and I know I’m
not a prude. But for reasons too compli-
cated to get into here, I just haven’t gotten
around to screwing anybody yet. I’m wait-
ing for the right person, and it just hasn’t
happened yet. I don’t want to have sex
with somebody who’s drunk or emotion-
ally vulnerable, or manipulate anybody,
and it’s very important to me that sex be
(among other things) a form of affection
and not isolated sex-for-sex’s sake.
I know I’m the only person who can
answer the question of whether I want to
have sex right now. But do I need to have
sex right now? Because one day I’m going
to fall in love, and it’s going to get sexual.
The message I hear from a lot of people I
respect is that I’m going to pay a price for
waiting until then to get laid. Am I? Am I
probably going to be OK?
-Virgin At Thirty
Yeah, you’ll be OK—but by ruling out
drunks, the emotionally vulnerable and
the easily manipulated, VAT, you increase
the odds that you’ll remain a virgin for
the rest of your natural life. A lot of very
beautiful relationships—to say nothing
of a lot of very timely defowerings—owe
their existences to booze, emotional
vulnerability and a little well-timed,
well-intentioned manipulation.
And wherever did you get the idea that
sex-for-sex’s sake can’t also be affectionate?
I am a straight, 18-year-old girl and a
college freshman. A couple of months
ago, I lost my virginity to my frst serious
boyfriend, and since then we’ve been
having sex several times a day. Appar-
ently we have been a bit too enthusiastic,
because my boyfriend received a note
from his downstairs neighbors. In crass
and abusive language, they told us to keep
it down. I was mortifed. Post-note, I’ve
been tense and nervous during sex, more
focused on listening for the neighbors
than enjoying the act. This is upsetting me
terribly, and I don’t know how to make it
better. Even if we are both silent, the bed
inevitably squeaks and thumps. There is
really nowhere else on campus for us to
go (I have three roommates who don’t
get out much). What should I do? I am so
depressed by this situation.
-Loud And Clear
Go buy the original Broadway cast record-
ing of Avenue Q. The next time you have
sex, blast “You Can Be as Loud as the Hell
You Want (When You’re Makin’ Love)” at
top volume. When the neighbors complain
about the music, tell them that they can
listen to show tunes or put up with the
noise you guys make when you have
sex—their pick.
For the Full text oF this week's
column, go to weeklydig.com. down-
loAd dAn sAVAge’s weekly PodcAst,
SAVAGE LOVECAST, eVery tuesdAy At
thestrAnger.com/sAVAge.
J
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savage love
THE HELL YOU WANT
BY DAN SAVAGE | MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET
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>> ACROSS
1 Secret society
members
7 Like farmland
13 Acela operator
14 Sci-f author
Ursula
15 Wings song Paul
McCartney played
when he guest
starred on The
Simpsons
17 Cartoonist Keane
18 Latin trio leader
19 Pakistani presi-
dent, 1978-88
20 Force on Earth,
briefy
22 Big do
23 1450 in old
Rome
24 Salon, e.g.,
informally
26 “___ be sorry!”
27 “Tea for Two”
musical
30 Animate
31 Marriage, e.g.
32 Tpkes.
33 1980s video
game with the
enemies Sparx and
Fuse
34 Father of Regan
38 Book before Neh.
39 Except
40 ___ Victor
41 Karen O’s band
46 Rococo
47 Accountant’s
advice
48 Yes-man, perhaps
49 Attack moves
>> DOWN
1 Latin dance
2 With full force
3 Vogue
4 Sphere
5 Glaswegian’s
negative
6 Runner with a
turned-up nose
7 Historic mission
8 Riviera’s San ___
9 Bygone dignitary
10 Barbershop
request
11 Be at rest
12 Ultimate goal
16 Tequila drink
21 Family group
22 Car engine
component
23 Roadside stop-
over
25 Dry ___
26 Now
27 EarthLink alter-
native
28 Divisor, e.g.
29 Eighty-six
30 Stalk
33 Mysterious
35 Sister of Mel-
pomene
36 Like ___ off the
old block
37 Godfather’s ut-
terances
39 Kilo- or mega-
follower
42 Was ill with
43 City map abbr.
44 NASA deviation
45 Skeleton’s head?
Complete the puzzle, cut it out and
send it to the Dig. First correct
submission gets a prize. Weekly Dig,
242 E. Berkeley St., 2nd Flr., Boston, MA
02118. Attn: Crosslord.
Did you see all the memorabilia?
There’s that guitar that’s orange.
Oh, that’s the logo.
What did you like the most?
I really liked the Polaroid by the
bathroom of John and Yoko. It
was attention-grabbing, but in a
mild way.
How’d you like to be in a band
whose memorabilia is in the
bathroom?
Well, everyone has to go to the
bathroom, so if your memorabilia
is actually in the bathroom you are
all set. If you were behind the door
in the women’s stall, you’d be in
great shape.
Why do The Men call themselves
The Men?
Because boys like to think they’re
grown up and call themselves men.
What do you like most about
826 Boston?
I love writing. I’m in a doctoral
program and I’m a professor so I
have to write. I write a lot concern-
ing art theory and philosophy and
aesthetics.
What was the most pleasing
thing about the show tonight?
The lights fashed with the beat.
Where’d you get this cool coat?
I got it on the Cape. It was mis-
marked. It had handwritten tags
and they wrote $24 instead of $42.
It was in Chatham.
Fucking Chatham!
And the scarf is Tibetan. And the bag
is from Florence.
Last Week’s ansWers
WATCH OUT! ExIT pOLLSTEr DAVID DAy IS AT LArGE | WEEkLyDIG.COM
exit polls
croSSworD by brENDAN EMMETT QUIGLEy | brENDANEMMETTQUIGLEy.COM
You’re a Bills fan, I can tell by
your pants.
They’re called Zubaz.
They look kind of like pajamas.
That’s why they’re so comfortable.
They’re my Sunday pants. I wear
them every Sunday, football season
or not. I also wore them to class
every single day in college. I went to
school in Buffalo.
Why did you move to Boston?
There’s not many jobs in Buffalo. I
have friends out here and there’s
some good rugby teams here. I play
for Boston Women’s Rugby.
Oh shit!
Yeah, back off! Just kidding.
Do you dream of Jim Kelly when
you go to sleep in your special
pajamas?
I dream of the day the Bills make
the playoffs again. But I’m at the
point this year when I say the same
phrase: “There’s always next year.”
Oh, does that start now?
That’s our favorite phrase in Buffalo.
There’s talk they’ll move to Toronto.
When you were 19, you went to
Canada to drink.
Damn Canadians! Corrupting our
youth … So you came to the Harp
for the game?
This is the offcial Bills Backers bar.
These are all Bills fans.
That makes a lot of sense to these
other normal people. They seem
really confused.
They have free wings at halftime.
I had some wings. Buffalo gave
us Buffalo wings, and for that I
thank you.
You’re welcome.
From the bottom of my stomach.
EMILY
AFTEr THE 826 bENEFIT AT THE
HArD rOCk CAFE, 12.2.08
EDITorIAL
managing editor Laura Dargus
music + arts editor David Day
neWs + features editor Cara Bayles
copy chief Courtney Cox
contributors Jason & Todd Alström,
Tyler Balliet, Joe Bernardi, Martín
Caballero, Jennifer Cacicio, Jonathan
Donaldson, DebbieDriscoll, Christian
Holland, AdaHutchinson, BrentT. Ingram,
Brian E. King, Garrett Martin, Paul
McMorrow, Bo Moore, Luke O’Neil,
Jenna Scherer, Rob Turbovsky,
Dave Wedge, David Wildman
interns Jared Annis, Jennifer Choi,
Patrick Connolly, Alexandra Dednah,
Al Deluca, Christine Denning,
Alexandra Fletcher, Meaghan Ford,
Jamie Granoff, Nakia Hill, Kristen
Humbert, Morgan Keenan, Carly
Lavoie, Tiffany Mah, Nisha Maxwell,
Kate Richi, Lolly Spindler, Lauren
Wiegan, Ben Whelan
DESIGN
creative director Tak Toyoshima
art director Taylor Seidler
designer Scott Murry
interns Stephanie Crumley,
Lillian Ling, Anthony O'Brien
BUSINESS + ADVErTISING
saLes manager Alex Lappin
senior account executive
Graham Wilson
account executives Antonio
Aniello, Marc Ellison, J.R. Roach
ADMINISTrATIoN
pubLisher/editor Jeff Lawrence
vice president Jim Stanton
vice president/neW biz dev
Alfred Wilson
generaL manager AmandaNicholson
advisor Joseph B. Darby III
distribution Fairbairn Dist. Co.
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ing, LLC cannot be held liable for any
typographical errors.
Member
DANIELLE
OUTSIDE THE HArp AFTEr A bUFFALO
bILLS LOSS, 12.7.08


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55
242
S P A C E

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