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Ho li day

Giifftt G
G Guuiid

table of contents
this WEEK

Senators who are leaving you /
VOL 10 + ISSUE 49 How many CVS stores are in
your neighborhood? / Media Farm 3

gets with the giving

You’re being stretched between a tough economy and guilt about your consumerist culture on 5
The Dig’s guide to gifts that are

News + features
one hand, and a desire to help jump-start the economy and give the obligatory token of love in-stock and awaiting your
on the other. Those conflicting instincts are hitting some of your fellow human beings pretty purchase / Milton Station / Purses
hard, since three people have died in shopping-related accidents this year. to make friends green with envy
So, in the interest of survival, here’s the holiday gift guide for everyone on your list, from
your uncle to your coworker to your lover. And if that’s not enough for ya, check out the EATS + DRINKS 11

expanded Dig That section, which reviews all the DVDs you can rip from the shelves and cling Second Glass’ guide to gifting wine /
to your bosom. The Department of Commerce cooks up the gift of easy recipes from your Give the give of meat /
favorite local chefs. And we grinches in the News section stuff your stocking with lumps of LUPEC: brunch bloodfest / 11
tak toyoshima

coal: toll hikes and pink slips. BeerAdvocate: Trinity IPA

gift guide
And here’s a helpful holiday tip: Don’t buy wasteful wrapping paper! Just cut up your
old clothes (wash them first) then wrap your presents with them! It’s like giving two gifts! MUSIC
Wait … no. Scratch that. Donate your old jeans to Goodwill, and wrap your presents with your Bob Diesel’s disco in the list / 24

Eats + drinks
favorite stylin’ weekly. Because this rag will look great wrapped around whiskey rocks or a new Drum & Bass DJ Adam F in the mix /
vibrator (guess which one’s for your uncle?!). The Wandas get plugged / Big Bear
Dear Pink-Fleece-Jacket-Clad Yuppie freaks you out
Bunghole I encountered Nov. 19th at CARA BAYLES | CARA@WEEKLYDIG.COM

dig this
Centre and Green streets in JP:
When you deliberately parked your lit- We Doubt it’ll do much for Streep /
tle black car directly across the crosswalk, LETTERS Helvetica—a design revolution / 33

A + E
totally blocking it and its wheelchair ramp, Cadillac Records gets some love
and I calmly said, “It’s illegal to park in a Send your thoughts to “most emailed” article lists reflect the most- 33

crosswalk,” and you irrelevantly said, “I’m or 242 East Berkeley St., 2nd Flr., Boston, MA read articles (Media Farm, 12.3.08). Why would ARTS
picking up my dry cleaning,” and I calmly 02118. All letters may be edited for length, someone email an article on the Mumbai at- 826 Boston auction is a 43

replied, “It’s rude, dangerous and illegal to clarity and accuracy. Please include all contact tacks that anyone could read about anywhere? must-attend event / Stella member
park in a crosswalk,” and you irrelevantly Surely people email a story to someone else chats us up / Expanded holiday
information. 45
Dig That!

said, “Thank you,” while continuing toward only after reading many other stories.
the dry cleaning place, and I calmly replied, We don’t want to get in It is similarly disingenuous to bash articles 45

“Fuck you,” I did not mean it literally. I the middle of it … oh based on their subject matter rather than EXIT POLLS
Tibetan scarves and Zubaz
am clarifying this because you obviously wait, we already are. their merit in presenting it. What is inherently

live such an entitled life you are probably Dear Weekly Dig, “asinine” about people being interested in: the
unused to being challenged and might not most significant cultural technology of our time; ONLINE
In last week’s quality-of-life index (Bean Coun-
understand such terms. Here is what I mean workplace-related health; the re-evaluation of Recipes to satiate the carnivore 48
ter, 12.3.08), you mentioned that the Gypsy Bar

by a metaphorical “fuck you.” While you standardized testing in academe; the amazing on your list
and my peers at Emerson College were having
were in the shop, I took a cellphone photo a dispute over smoking turf. As an Emersonian abilities of animals; and the quest for cheap fun

of your illegally parked car with its New who values her lung capacity, I am not one of in a historically bad economy? The only thing
Jersey license plate. Now, it’s possible that these kids being sent to $40,000 higher educa- inherently asinine is your derogatory descrip-
someone who drives so badly actually is tion, only to stand outside in the cold and kill tions of these subjects.
from New Jersey and feeling right at home myself slowly. Congratulations on being the fluff you 52

here. But I doubt someone would come all However, I, too, have a beef with the Gypsy pretend to de-fluff.
the way from Jersey just to do dry cleaning. Bar folks. When their patrons leave, they pro- JR 54

exit polls
No, it’s much more likely you bought a ceed out to the street and often begin yelling VIA EMAIL
condo up here but kept your out-of-state at each other. This would be fine if it weren’t in
registration to get cheaper insurance—in- PS Awesome in-depth investigative report
the middle of the night on weekdays. Between
surance you probably need a lot, being a on fake dangerous toys a couple pages later 
them, the suitemates and the random 1am
reckless yuppie bunghole. Now, I could be (Kiddie Kroakers, 12.3.08). Hard-hitting, serious
construction, every evening I end up stuffing
wrong. But I’ll let the cops, the RMV and journalism at its best.
my ears and burying my very well-educated
state insurance officials who love to crack head in my pillows, in an attempt to get some
down on scofflaws sort out my little photo. rest before the next day of classes.
… and right.
I get that my life is far less important to I feel like that (Media Farm, 12.3.08) is what I COVER ARTIST | Anke Weckmann
In the spirit of the holidays, please, people: lives in London and has been working
you than getting stains out of your jogging am thinking 90 percent of the time when I look
Between 2 and 6am, cordially SHUT UP. as a freelance illustrator since she
shorts. But your privilege to drive is far less right at the “most read”/”most emailed” stories graduated in 2005. She spends all of
important to me than either of them. on the Times website. her time drawing and drinking tea and
Boston couldn’t imagine anything better. Her
Sincerely, Thanks!
drawings have appeared in magazines,
White As You, But One Million Times Media Farm gets dark Claire books, on greeting cards and T-shirts.
Less Yuppie Via email You can see more of her work at
and angry, is accused of

Send your anonymous gripes and grouses being fluffy ... If you’re a local artist interested in
Dear Farmers, submitting work for our cover or for
to, or to the Dig This spread, send samples to
Dig Department of Gripes, 242 E. Berkeley St., You managed to base an entire anti-fluff article Tak Toyoshima, at
2nd Flr., Boston, MA 02118. Crybaby. on the false and unsupported assumption that


news to us

table of contents

“I think they made a

lot of the difference
this year. I think
they’re essential.”


News + features
Sen. John Kerry talking
about students voting for Bye Bye, beacon hill
Barack Obama, without a hint Four senators step down without scandal
of where-were-you-in-2004
bitterness. Really. 12.2.08 bY isis madrid

“I think it was a mistake Bribe-taking and sexual assault charges aside, the Massachu- couldn’t make it to the goodbye and a letter was read on his
for him to get rid of setts State Senate has seen some changes this election year, behalf. “I leave office with great pride and comfort in the knowl-

gift guide
it. I thought that whole and four state senators have opted not to run for reelection on edge that Massachusetts leads the world in fostering a more
Western, rugged look was their own accord. Senators Robert Antonioni, Edward Augustus, inclusive, tolerant and just society,” he wrote, alluding to the
really working for him. Robert Creedon Jr. and Pam Resor are leaving the State House. Legislature’s defeat of a proposed constitutional amendment to

Eats + drinks
Last Thursday in the Senate chamber, the senators and repeal gay marriage this past May. “On that day, Massachusetts
For some reason, maybe
their colleagues reminisced on sessions past. Senate President reaffirmed its historic role as the conscience of our nation.” Au-
because it was scratchy
Therese Murray welcomed the congregation with three bangs gustus’ seat has been filled by the election of Millbury Democrat
when he kissed his wife,
of her gavel. “Today, we salute four senators,” she said before the Michael Moore.
he was forced to get rid ceremonial goodbyes began. Sen. Pamela Resor, D-Acton, chairwoman of the Environ-

dig this
of it, but we’re deeply Sen. Edward Augustus Jr., D-Worcester, decided to move on ment, Natural Resources and Agriculture Committee, served in
disappointed with the after two terms in office. Augustus, who at age 24 began his the House from 1991 until she switched to the Senate in 1999.
loss of the beard.” political career as the youngest person to head the Worces- During the farewell, she was lauded for her environmental fer-

A + E
--- ter School Committee, made public education a focus of his vor, which helped this past session to be a watershed for green

President-elect Obama on his senatorial career. Murray applauded his efforts to increase matters. Resor, the first woman ever elected to the Senate from
secretary of commerce nominee, school funding and reduce the number of high school dropouts. her district, was described as knowing that you don’t have to be
Augustus, who currently chairs the Election Laws Committee, the loudest person in the room to be the most persuasive.

Gov. Bill Richardson, who shaved.

12.3.08 more >> 6

Toll hike on the Pike

Last week, approximately 100 concerned the two. We don’t want store or restaurant. “This is
patrick maloney, George Weinstein. got some random photos? submit them to

Bostonians attended a meeting hosted our businesses closing an attack on my neighbor-

by City Councilors Salvatore LaMattina down. Then we’d have hood,” LaMattina said.
and Bill Linehan about the Massachusetts empty storefronts, and But, as the Turnpike

Turnpike Authority’s planned toll increases. that affects our real is a state organization,
City Councilors Stephen Murphy, Michael estate value,” she told there’s little the Boston
Ross and Sam Yoon, as well as Mayor the Dig. “You cannot City Council can do about
Menino, also attended. Menino expressed balance the books of the it. “They can voice their

his disappointment with the Turnpike Mass. Turnpike Author- disapproval, but as far as
Authority. “The people and businesses of ity on the backs of the I know, they don’t have

exit polls
Boston were not considered or consulted residents of the North any powers over the
before planning to radically increase tolls End, South Boston and Turnpike Authority,” says
in and around our city,” he said. East Boston.” Mac Daniel, spokesman for
The tolls would be jacked up from Others who voiced concerns included the Turnpike Authority, the body that will 
$3.50 to $7 for the Ted Williams and members of the Taxi Drivers Association. vote on the toll hike. “That’s not to say
Sumner tunnels. Residents of Eastie and After deducting the toll charges from that their voice isn’t important.”
the North End would not be directly fares, one driver claimed he’d “have to The board approved the hike in a pre-
affected by the hike, since they benefit work for nothing because of the misman- liminary vote last month, but they are re-
from a resident discount (which predates aged Mass. Turnpike Authority.” Yet an- quired by law to hold two public hearings
the Big Dig) that allows them to go other issue raised was that of nonprofits before they make a decision (last week’s
through the tunnels for 40 cents. whose volunteers may not be able to rally was not an official Turnpike hearing).
But Joanne Anzalone, president of the contribute as much if the toll increases go The Pike is holding four in the next month,
North End Chamber of Commerce and into effect. with one in Boston this Wednesday. “A
owner of Anzalone Realty, testified that LaMattina said he’d received com- lot of people think these hearings are all
the quality of life for residents depends plaints from business owners who were wish-wash,” says Daniel, “but they do
on local businesses. “It concerns the entire concerned their businesses would suffer, have—and have had—an influence on
North End, both from a residential and as customers would be less inclined to past toll increases.” [Lolly Spindler]
commercial standpoint. You can’t separate pay a $7 toll to patronize their favorite
from >> 5

Sen. Harriette Chandler, D-Worcester, reminded the crowd that Resor’s career began à
la Erin Brockovich, when in 1981, she served on the Acton Board of Health and soon after
as a selectman fighting contamination of the town’s water supply by W.R. Grace Co. In her
closing remarks, Resor begged her colleagues to “please, please do everything needed to
protect resources throughout Massachusetts and make it a truly green commonwealth.”
Resor’s successor is Jamie Eldridge, an Acton-born Democrat who managed Resor’s reelec-
tion campaign in 1998 and who is currently serving as a state representative.
Sen. Robert Antonioni, D-Leominster, served two terms in the House before joining
the Senate in 1992. He co-chairs the Education Committee, and Murray cheered his
efforts in education, specifically his aid in procuring $7 million for public schools and
support for special education programs statewide.
Stephen M. Brewer, D-Barre, cited Antonioni’s role as chairman during a 10-hour
hearing that defeated the death penalty. Antonioni explained his decision to move on
was inspired by his sister’s suggestion that he “get a life.” Antonioni will be replaced by
Jennifer Flanagan, D-Leominster, who’s currently a state rep.
Sen. Robert Creedon Jr., D-Brockton, a state representative from 1969 until 1972,
joined the Senate in 1997 when his brother, Michael Creedon, gave up his seat to ac-
cept a judicial appointment. He’s a longtime chair of the Judiciary Committee, and is
leaving to work as clerk of courts in Plymouth County.
Sen. Richard Moore, D-Uxbridge, had the chamber yakking it up as he joked about
Creedon’s long-winded tangents, his “old school” political cred and his media wariness.
“What you need is openness and, frankly, we had more of it then than we have now,”
Creedon said of the media on Beacon Hill, despite his own “non-relationship with the
press.” Creedon will be succeeded by Thomas Kennedy,, D-Brockton, who declared his
candidacy within minutes of Creedon’s retirement announcement back in April.
The senators’ stepping down opens up chairmanships of key committees like the
Judiciary (a powerful committee that must pass any bill to change state law, and
where bills often go to die). It also offers fresh blood (or blood transferred from the
House), in a state where incumbents are rarely challenged and seldom defeated. The
senators officially step down when their replacements are sworn in, on January 7th.

CVS doesn’t care about black people?

Your Home for disc manufacturing
A nationwide report accusing CVS
Caremark Corp. of substandard and
prejudiced practices spurred several
activists to express outrage over the
mission. The report found that fewer of
the newly established MinuteCare clin-
ics—which are advertised as an afford-
able alternative to a doctor’s office or
is finally in your backyard local implications of discrimination by emergency room—operate in low-income
the nation’s largest drugstore chain at a communities and communities of color.
Grand Opening press conference last week. Millona stressed that these are critical for
Special Offer: “We are concerned about the lack of immigrants “who are afraid to go to the
CVS stores in low-income neighborhoods hospital because they are afraid that their
%?N !"M
and neighborhoods of color,” said Karen status might be reported.”
@ILIHFS Payne, president of the Boston NAACP. “CVS CVS spokesperson Michael DeAngelis
needs to become a responsible partner.” offered this statement: “The allegation
 The 40-page “Cure CVS” report
released by the labor coalition Change
that we concentrate stores in white neigh-
borhoods compared to our competitors
plus 300 posters FREE - to Win (CtW), results from a 14-month is simply untrue … CVS holds the number
when you place an order investigation of CVS stores throughout one or number two market share in eight
in our Boston office. the US. The study found that in Greater of the top 10 US markets with the larg-
Boston, there are nearly three times as est non-white populations.” Boston isn’t
12 many CVS stores per person in neigh- included in his list of regional markets.

borhoods with a 90-plus-percent white CtW organizer Kate Titus added that
17 Disc Makers is finally open right here in Boston! We have been servicing population than in neighborhoods that are CVS overcharges customers, improperly
08 the Boston area with high-quality CD and DVD replication and duplication more than 90 percent people of color, and disposes of medical records and carries
services for decades, but now are thrilled to truly be part of the community. fewer stores per person in neighborhoods expired products. At the press conference,

Stop in to say hello and let us help with all your CD and DVD needs.
with median annual household incomes a table displayed expired CVS products in-
1-866-649-3001 • below $40,000 than in those with median cluding milk, baby formula and children’s
incomes above $80,000. Maalox, which CtW had collected the
Eva Millona, executive director of the previous day from five of 10 Boston CVS
 Massachusetts Immigrant and Refugee stores they’d visited.
Advocacy Coalition, explained that the “The proof is in the milk,” said CtW
lack of available CVS stores in immigrant organizer Faron McLurkin. No one dared to
neighborhoods contradicts CVS’ purported take a sip. [Alexandra Dednah]
table of contents
News + features
gift guide
Eats + drinks
dig this
A + E
South End’s Fastest Growing

Consignment Shop

exit polls
Designer Apparel for 

1/3 of the Original Price
482 Columbus Avenue
Boston, MA 02118
media farm

Yankee swap
by media farm

MIDDLE-AGED WHITE GUYS who figures with the tube sock of a 10,000 or
happen to be media moguls get so (that metaphor’s a gift for you, Mind-
to have all the fun, don’t they? ich) is meant to impress advertisers, but
While we literate peons have to would you be seduced by a circulation
scourge to find credible sources of that “varies”?
information, they shuffle our
conglomerated dailies AND SPEAKING OF wobbling numbers, did
around, passing them anyone else check out last week’s Phoenix
to each other like insert tribute to 101.7 FM, aka, WFNX? The
Christmas presents. Phoenix reserved a full-page ad in itself,
First, noted congratulating FNX (which is part of the
Australian-conserva- Phoenix Media empire) on it’s 25th birth-
tive-mogul-with- day. Isn’t that kind of like writing yourself
more-money-than- a love letter?
God Rupert Murdoch
gave Boston Herald SO, YOU MIGHT be wondering, with all
publisher and Mur- these wealthy dudes spending cash on
doch clone Pat Purcell presents for themselves, what’s there for
executive ownership of a pleb like me?
Ottaway Newspapers Inc. (“Merry Hanuk- boasts the Verified circulation auditor’s Well, here’s a little something from
kah, Pat!” he allegedly said). Ottaway seal—says as well … of course, it also says Their eminent tech writer/
includes local dailies like the Cape Cod “circulation may vary week to week.” But geeky dreamboat Hiawatha Bray is back,
Times, Nantucket’s Inquirer and Mirror, the most recent Verified reports, from with a new webicle! The video isn’t as
and the Standard-Times in New Bedford. March 2008, indicate El Planeta’s circula- funny as his last one (in which he scoffed
Ottaway was a bonus starter-pack that tion for New England totaled 34,431. at people waiting in line to buy the new
came with the Wall Street Journal when You have to hand it to Mindich: Niche iPhone with a pleasant, lilting hatred),
News Corp. purchased it last year. markets are a smart investment right but this one does feature him aimlessly
Of course, Purcell and Murdoch are now, and there are over 400,000 Spanish documenting random boring shit on
old pals, since Citizen Murdoch bought speakers in the Commonwealth … that’s Boston Common, armed with a backpack,
the Herald in 1985. Then in 1988, eeeevil a significant “niche.” And El Planeta has flag pin, two cameras and a disturbingly
Sen. Ted Kennedy pointed out that wide grin. The voiceover for the video has
Murdoch, who owns Fox Broadcasting its moments, from “Believe it or not, this
(and thereby our local Fox affiliate), was is Boston in December. I’m saving this
breaking a 1975 Federal Communica- “We guess stuffing gorgeous day for posterity … with not
tions Commission antimonopoly rule the pants of your one, but two video cameras, each small
(which was since “relaxed” in 2007) that enough to fit in a shirt pocket” to “Still,
prohibits ownership of a TV station and a
circulation figures the MinoHD takes marvelous pictures. If
paper in the same local market. The paper with the tube sock of you’ve only got one shirt pocket, this is
continued to shit money for a couple of the video camera to carry.”
years under Murdoch’s reign, until 1994,
a 10,000 or so (that But, because Bray does his job (unlike,
when he sold the Herald to Purcell. And metaphor’s a gift say, Alex Beam, who, in case you care,
the Herald is still shitting money today! hates dangerous toys lists and bought his
And now those two knuckleheads are to-
for you, Mindich) son a slingshot … apparently Beam’s job
gether again, and rumor has it Murdoch is meant to impress description is still “cranky old man”), most
might try to save the Herald (unlike the of the video is a legit review comparing
08 last time he had anything to do with it)!!!
advertisers.” two gadgets. We recommend seeing it

The more papers are shuffled among a once for reals and then with the sound
08 select group of media moguls, the more off; on mute, it feels like you’re watching
things stay the same. been such a success story, with Javier someone with too many toys have a very

Also, last week, Stephen Mindich and Marin and Jon Urruzuno launching the pleasant acid trip. And isn’t that what the
son bought out Spanish-language weekly weekly out of Brookline in 2004 and holiday season is all about?
El Planeta. Phoenix Media, Mindich’s baby distributing it out of the back of their
has been an investor in El Planeta for van to offer much-needed local Spanish- TIPS? THOUGHTS?
years, and already prints and distributes it. language reporting … so why inflate the MEDIAFARM@WEEKLYDIG.COM

Bradley Mindich is claiming that numbers for something that’s already
El Planeta has a circulation of 50,000, impressive and important? We guess
and that’s what their media kit—which stuffing the pants of your circulation
table of contents
Bean Counter

The Dig’s
quality-of-life index

The MBTA has converted two cars on the Red Line to hold only

four seats in a car for the elderly and the disabled. The rest

News + features
of the general public will suffer great paranoia that is only
heightened by the existence of the anti-groping effort being
made by the MBTA. MINUS 1

Run out and get your Bratz dolls now, as the dolls will be
discontinued after Christmas. MGA Entertainment lost their

legal battle to Mattel and was ordered to discontinue their
inexplicably popular product. EVEN

The construction at Copley Station has been halted indefinitely

gift guide
soapbox by julie bogart
as the installation of elevator shafts cracked the foundation
of Old South Church. Church services, including a wedding, will
continue as scheduled. That’s good news, since the last thing
Fire me the right way

Eats + drinks
the MBTA needs is an angry bridezilla on its hands. MINUS 2

Orders of chicken wings have gone down with the recession.
A few weeks ago, I was laid off. The organization I worked for lost a
That’s one drastic cure to America’s obesity problem. PLUS 1
few million dollars (don’t you just hate it when that happens?) and

dig this
had to cut 30 jobs. In a spectacular display of irony, Lorraine Henderson, the
Of course, I’m not alone in my current predicament. As economic regional director of Homeland Security, Customs and Border
times worsen and then worsen some more—a 20-year veteran at the Protection, has been charged with hiring undocumented im-

A + E
Massachusetts Division of Unemployment Assistance told me that migrants to clean her home. EVEN
the month of November was the “worst she’s ever seen it”—com-

panies have been laying off employees at a rate higher than that of Well, it ain’t murder, but OJ Simpson has been sentenced to
teenage pregnancy in Gloucester. These days, if you haven’t been laid at least 15 years in prison for trying to steal back things he

off yourself, you know someone who has been. claimed had been stolen from him. EVEN
Unfortunately, many companies are new to the mass-firing scene.
Boston might finally get flying cars!

Nonprofits, for example, known for their touchy-feely handling of
In just three weeks, Woburn is test-
employees, have no idea how to manage their new responsibilities—
ing its first “roadable aircrafts.”

which is why a few “don’ts” may help guide them as they continue to
With any luck we’ll finally ditch the
crush hopes and dreams.
quickly deteriorating Ts and hitch

For starters, don’t lay employees off on a national holiday. Or, say,
us some high-powered flyin’ machines. MINUS 1
Election Day. On November 4th, the agency I worked for announced
that they might have to/probably would be eliminating half the staff. A photograph of Worcester native and Obama speechwriter

Talk about a buzz kill. Let’s just say that there were two reasons I Jon Favreau cupping the boob of a cardboard Hillary Clinton
drank an entire bottle of champagne on election night. cut-out materialized on Facebook last week. Clinton spokes-

Don’t make your employees sit through weeks or months of lim- man Philippe Reines’ response? “Senator Clinton is pleased to
bo. For an entire week, my former coworkers and I anxiously played learn of Jon’s obvious interest in the State Department, and is
Guess Who’s Getting Canned (as in “It’s gonna be me.” “No, let me currently reviewing his application.” Can this administration
tell you why it’s gonna be me.”) If I have an ulcer, it’s on my previous get any wackier? PLUS 1

employer … though after stripping me of my health insurance, what
the fuck do they care? Speaking of, Clinton’s vacated Senate seat is causing quite a

exit polls
Another piece of advice: Don’t tell some employees and not oth- stir, as everyone likes Caroline Kennedy (especially Red Sox
ers who’s getting the axe prior to the axing. This seems obvious, but fans), but Fran Drescher (aka the Nanny) would gladly take the
then, a lot of what I’m writing seems obvious. You’re shutting down seat, in case anyone cares. EVEN
my income, my insurance, my daily purpose and my future plans. Do 
Former State Sen. Dianne Wilkerson appears in court for fed-
you really have to ruin the few friendships I managed to create while eral arraignment and … urp … bail review, proving yet again
working for you? that a $23,500 bribe is not worth a $50,000 bail bond. Hey,
Lose the armed guards. Seriously. When a friend of mine was laid and good luck finding an impartial jury for this one! MINUS 1
off last week, a dude with a gun on his belt escorted him to his office,
watched as he gathered his things, and then walked him out of the Most of the money raised by former Gov. Mitt Romney’s politi-
building. My friend had given four years of his life to that place. Not cal action committee has not gone toward supporting other
to mention the fact that thus far, he hadn’t tried to kill any of his GOP candidates (par for the course), but toward hiring his own
coworkers. Didn’t he deserve better? staff for a possible 2012 presidential run. Can you imagine a
One final tip: When you show your employees the door, also show primary debate between him and Palin? Between his equivo-
them a modicum of respect. Save the condescending condolences for cating and her tenuous grasp on the English language, logical
the wife you verbally abuse at home. thought would spontaneously combust. MINUS 1
alexandra charrow

Times are shitty. We all have to do our part to make them a little
less so. And while I know that there’s really no good way to throw This week’s total: MINUS 4
employees out on the street, you may still be able to salvage your Last week’s total: MINUS 23
reputation—and your human decency.



table of contents

yelpstop | milton station green land | canopy verde eats | Charcuterie lupec | bloody mary second glass | last-minutes saviors

News + features


gift guide

Eats + drinks

dig this
A + E

Gifts to compliment

impromptu consumption


Whether en route to a party,

exit polls
the family dinner or that
special celebratory date, chances are 11

you may have forgotten someone on
your list. That, or you’re waiting for a
mid-month paycheck. Whatever your
reasons, we’re here to make the shopping
schlep as painless as possible. Online ordering
will take some advance planning, but
procrastinators can’t be choosers.
This colorful assortment of paper will make a
neighboring trashcan more appealing when
your aspiring novelist coworker gets stuck on
Chapter 37. Hey, at least you don’t have to hear
about the story (maybe).
[Available at Black Ink, 5 Brattle St., Cambridge.

Carve-your-own card | $14 That peace-loving, beatnik colleague will defi-
Whittle your own tidings with these wooden
nitely appreciate a small Buddha that comes with
postcards, using keys (or other sharp object) to
incense, incense holder, a book about Buddhism (so
hand-carve your message. Your mailman may suffer
he’ll finally know what the hell he’s talking about)
a splinter, but that newbie in accounting might
and packaging that turns into a portable shrine.
finally respond to your Gchat invites.
[Available at Hidden Sweets, 25 Brattle St.,
[Available at the ICA Store, 100 Northern Ave.,
Cambridge. 617.497.2600.]
Boston. 617.478.3100.]

Like, oh my god! This pen totally will make rainbows and
Spork | $3 sparkles dance around the room! Is that coworker just too
Before “internet” and “liger,” there was “spork,”
perky before you’ve had your second cup of coffee? Smack
everyone’s favorite portmanteau. Though one of the
her over the head with this gem.
only items used almost exclusively in schools and
prisons, it’s also perfect for slurping Ramen at your desk. [Available at Papyrus at the Prudential Center,
800 Boylston St., Boston. 617.262.6520.]
[Available at The Museum of Useful Things,]

A great “fuck you” gift for that crotchety coworker
For the hopelessly uncool, these sticky notes will ex-
who’s still angry John McCain lost. The Bill of Rights
pand slang vocabulary and teach one how to properly
inscribed on the side of this mug vanishes when you
use “da bomb” in a sentence. Bonus gift to you, know-
pour a hot liquid inside it.
ing it’ll irk your cube-mates even more.
[Available at Newbury Comics,]
[Available at Knock Knock,]



“Buy your friend a drink” gift card | prices vary
Drink for the job you want! Pink slip-proof your position by
buying your cubicle neighbor a cocktail. These gift cards are
redeemable at bars and restaurants like Good Life and Om. Make
it a two-martini lunch and get one for yourself, too.
[Available at]
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Because your grizzled Grandpa (or Grandma!) loves whiskey on
the rocks but hates it when those rocks melt and make the drink
all watery and prissy. Whiskey Stones retain the cold to keep a
glass-o-booze at the perfect temperature, and they're completely
reusable, so Gramps can get crunk on a regular basis.
[Available at Lekker Unique Home Furnishings, 1317 Washington
St., Boston. 617.542.6464.]

Walking through the door come Christmas, divert atten-
tion from your new neck tattoo with a box of chocolates.
Especially these little guys—in a cute wooden box, you get
16 chocolates and their signature mouse. Pair it with some
Cabernet to be extra lush. And buy a turtleneck.
[Available at LA Burdick Chocolate, 52-D Brattle St., Cam-
bridge. 617.491.4340.]

“You Annoy Me” 8” x 10” print | $50
Give the gift of truth to your tween-angsty VINAIGRETTE SET | $72.80
sibling. Local artist Kati Rowley’s pen and ink Assist in the kitchen, even from afar! For the cook, this package
drawing with fingerprinted text is available of olive oil from Greece and vinaigrette from Modena, Italy, plus
matted and ready to frame. With love. salt mix for pastas and salads, black pepper from Madagascar and
[Available at Koo De Kir,] olive-wood salad utensils, is sure to delight.
[Available at O&Co, 161 Newbury St., Boston. 617.859.8841.]



17 Treat the woman who was in labor with you for 4,789 HOURS to
a 15-minute chair massage and 15-30 minutes of tub time.
[Available at Inman Oasis, 243 Hampshire St., Cambridge.

Like heaven-sent foot pillows, these cush slippers will hug
your mom’s every step. While Tempur-pedic’s bedding
(also cloud-like) may fall outside of your price range,
theeir functional footwear does not.
14 [Available at Brookstone, 100 Huntington Ave., Boston.
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T-SHIRT | $30
Blue-collar family? Let us
rephrase. Blue-blooded paterfa-
milias? Nope, wrong again. How
about: If a T-shirt and jeans are
his standard work uniform, con-
sider getting this for your uncle.
[Available Proletariat, 36 JFK St.,
Cambridge. 617.661.3865.]
The perfect gift for the future scientist in your
family. It may look like a bomb when it’s as- THOMAS PAUL MATRYOSKA RED TOTE | $36
sembled, but don’t be mistaken … this toy is There is something about those little Russian dolls
more like DA BOMB! [Cringe—Ed.] that really gets people going. Maybe it’s the idea that
you get more bang for your buck. Either way, this bag
[Available at Fat Brain Toys,] should be a hit for anyone who loves nesting … dolls.
[Available at Grand, 374 Somerville Ave., Somerville.

This calendar was made for the obsessive-
compulsive or anyone who just gets an
overwhelming satisfaction from popping
things—like your face! Just looking at
them all could make one take off their
shoes and stomp for instant gratification,
but nay—just one a day.
[Available at PrankPlace,]
If life were like Breakfast at Tiffany’s, things would be
pretty sweet. Who wouldn’t want to be a classy call girl
with multiple identities that runs away from her family
and still gets a happy ending? With this sleep mask, at
least your granny can dream about it.
Nieces and nephews alike will relish their time spent with this [Available at Fredflare,]
foosball table. While inexpensive and convenient for you, it will be a
chance for them to explore competitive sports outside of beer pong.
[Available at Urban Outfitters, 361 Newbury St., Boston.

10 Say goodbye to your wooden and
– MARC JACOBS GEM NECKLACE | $19 plastic frames. These stickers allow
17 Can’t afford that $1,500 Marc Jacobs handbag? Well we’re
08 your great-grandmother to have
bringing your loved ones a very small step closer to those
all your favorite pictures on display
designer goods. It’s only $19 and your aunt can go around

without taking up valuable space.
saying things like, “Watch it, it’s Marc Jacobs.”
[Available at Paper Source,
[Available at Marc Jacobs, 81 Newbury St., Boston.
338 Boylston St., Boston. 617.536.3444.
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Port and Chocolate GIFT BASKET | $49.95
Ring in 2009 with this Dionysian basket of pleasure and
witness subsequent influx of future party invitations. A bottle
of Bogle Petit Sirah Port with a Vosges chocolate bar and a
Café-Tasse bar is perfect for sharing on New Year’s Eve.
[Available at Wine Gallery,]

CANDY CANE SHOT GLASSES | $6.95 for set of two
Shot glasses made out of delicious candy cane. The perfect
at-the-ready hostess will delight (and ponder which booze Lavender Hand soap | $12
will work best) when you present her with this functional Engineered by specialists from “the oldest apothecary
and fun spin on glassware. in America,” this soap will leave fresh even the most
Dorito-stained fingers, while the lavender infusion
[Available at KitchenArts, 161 Newbury St., Boston.
relaxes your likely wigging-out hostess.
[Available at C.O. Bigelow, Copley Place Mall, 100 Hun-
tington Ave., Boston. 617.236.7257.]

Keep it classy with this mini chandelier. Add ambiance to any
Allston abode instantly with this decorative lighting scheme
that screams aesthetically appealing and friendly to the frugal. PHILLIPS CANDY HOUSE
[Available at Joie de Vivre, 1792 Mass. Ave., Cambridge. HOT COCOA | $6.50
617.864.8188.] Help heat up your host’s soirée
with hot cocoa from Boston’s oldest
chocolatier. Throw some vanilla Dr.
McGillicuddy’s in the mix, and you
TOOTHPICK VOODOO DOLL HOLDER | $12 may as well gather outside.
Not too excited about that holiday get-together? Be polite
[Available at Phillips Candy
while plotting to destroy with this charming toothpick holder.
House, 818 Morrissey Blvd., Boston.
Both functional and fun—toy for some, a weapon for others.
[Available at Funusual, 8 North Market, Faneuil
Hall Marketplace, Boston. 617.439.8840.]

| $3.95 each
12 These dreidel, Star of David and
08 menorah shapes are bound to make

12 the Jewish-mother-in-training of
08 MAD GAB | $32 your crew go wild. They’re doubly
Board games, especially played while useful as stencils for an arts and

intoxicated, are crowd pleasers. Designated crafts get-together (read: Enlist your
driver? Well, your host is still sure to get friends to help decorate, drunkenly).
a kick out of how absolutely moronic her
[Available at Crate & Barrel,
party will sound while playing this game.
199 Boylston St., Chestnut Hill.
[Available at The Games People Play, 617.964.8400.]
1100 Mass. Ave., Cambridge. 617.492.0711.]
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News + features
HIM AND HER | $50 each

Taking the guesswork out of
perfumery, this ingenious set
allows your beloved to sample scents

gift guide
at home (allowing one’s natural
chemistry to also take full effect)
and redeem the enclosed voucher for
the cologne of their choice.

Eats + drinks
[Available at Sephora, 800 Boylston St.,
Boston. 617.262.4200.]

dig this
RABBIT HABIT | $82 Sterling Silver Scrabble
How considerate will you look when she unwraps Letter Necklace | $75

A + E
this orgasm-inducing superstar? Time will only tell. Every family has one—they email you

Yes, it’s the vibrator made famous on Sex and the City, Words of the Day and subscribe to ESPN
but the Habit is the updated design. just for the annual US Scrabble Open.
This adorable necklace will win you points

[Available at Good Vibrations, 308-A Harvard St.,
Brookline. 617.264.4400.] with the word freak in your fam.
[Available at Oak, 31 Gloucester St., Boston.


ICA Boston Dual Membership | $95
Staring into each other’s eyes while using words like
“visceral experience” and “sensory juxtaposition” is

great intellectual stimulation. With a dual membership, FLEUR DE LIS CUFFLINKS | $56.25
it’s also a gift to yourself—shh, they’ll never know. A little flourish never hurt anyone. These

[Available at the ICA, 100 Northern Ave., mother of pearl and onyx baubles will add
Boston. 617.478.3100.] a little distinction to any French cuff.
[Available at J Press, 82 Mt. Auburn St.,

Cambridge. 617.547.9886.]

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For those who have yet to get the hint. Floyd’s
is the new game in town—the barber shop Chocolate Tasting:
with a hip twist. For the dude, nothing but “From Bean to Bar” class | $55
nothing beats a face shave, and your girl will Fruity? Spicy? Nutty? Make it a date and
melt with a massage shampoo. together discover the history, varieties and
[Available at Floyd’s 99, 189 Mass. Ave., Boston. processing techniques of the aphrodisiacal
617.236.4838.] bean. Across the street is the Hotel
Commonwealth. Convenient!
[Available at Boston Center for Adult Education,
5 Commonwealth Ave., Kenmore Sq., Boston.
(hippie) Earthopoly game | $24.95
Collect “carbon credits” and trade them
for “clean air” to increase the property
values of your plots. Even the game
pieces are natural (e.g., rocks, shells,
lima beans). Boardwalk always needed
some wind turbines.
[Available at Greenward, 1776 Mass. Ave.,
Porter Sq., Cambridge. 617.395.1338.]

What good environmentalist hasn’t traversed the Harbor Islands?
Whether camping on Grape Island, building a bonfire on
Green chic and cheeky, check. This soft
Spectacle Island or spooking yourself at Fort Warren, this
T is made with all-organic cotton and
book can tell them how to do it and why.
sports a whale wave graphic, embolden-
[Available at] ing other Greenpeacers to approach.
[Available at Envi, 164 Newbury St.,
Boston. 617.267.3684.]

Pouch of 5 reusable shopping totes | $38
When your roommate complains her Odwalla is
sweating through her Jansport, present her with
these five fauna-print bags. They hold up to 40 pounds
each and roll into a pouch, perfect for spontaneous SUN JAR | $40
bulk granola purchases. Banish seasonal affective disorder forever with
this solar-powered sunshine-on-tap. Set the
[Available at Fiddlehead, 292 Newbury St., Boston. jar outside during the day, and enjoy the jar’s
617.247.1120.] warm glow at night. Nighttime more your
friend’s speed? There’s a Moon Jar as well.
[Available at Greenward, 1776 Mass. Ave.,
Cambridge. 617.395.1338.]

Healthy Homes cleaning service | PRICES VARY
You may not know it, but your apartment is wheezing.
The folks at this eco-friendly maid service want to clean
your space—from a stovetop wipe-down to cobweb re- THE MICRO TERRARIUM FROM
moval, even a consultation on how to permanently URBAN OUTFITTERS | $6
detox your chemical-ridden living quarters. A mini garden sans indoor worm farm? Sold.
[Available at Healthy Homes Cleaning, This self-contained ecosystem can sprout your 781.926.0266] choice of polka-dotted plant, cacti, herbs, flowers
or a Venus flytrap! Give the gift of pesticide-free
insect control this holiday season.
[Available online at Urban Outfitters,

Show off that weed wit with this snuggly alterna-
tive to the hoodie. Never mind that the translation

of this reads “I Hemp Hemp,” or “I Marijuana Leaf
Hemp,” that’s just the herb talking.
Your yoga freak friend-set will appreciate this
[Available at The Hempest, 207 Newbury St., #1, reminder of the inner peace attained through
Boston. 617.421.9944.] the infinite “OM.” Its simple sterling silver
20 construction is bound to match any minimalist’s
wardrobe as well.
[Available at Good, 88 Charles St., Boston.
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Milton Station | Red Line Mrs. Jones


Fresh footprints lead to fresh pies Windy City



by leighann farrelly | Yelp boston

The Fat Black !DAM
When Robert Frost wrote about “taking the road 3T
2IVER Company
less traveled,” we think he was on to something. This
week, we opt for the less-worn path of Boston’s own
divergence of trails, treading lightly on the trolleys of -),4/.
the Ashmont-Mattapan High Speed Line. Follow us to Espirit
Milton Station and see the difference for yourself.
Du Vin T
For a little Southern-style satisfaction, yelpers sing T %LIOT
the praises of soul food sensation Mrs. Jones [2255

Dorchester Ave., Dorchester. 617.696.0180]. The smell

alone transports Kim P “back to a Fourth of Ju-ly picnic,
replete with ants, a game of horseshoes [and] the
smell of BBQ,” but it’s the chicken that’s made a repeat newbies, while the Friday wine tasting is a wonderful way to
customer of Al N, because they use “wing quarters only—no accelerate your aged-grape education.
messing around with dry, bland, useless breasts.” For those of you in need of a caffeine fix, The Fat Black Cof-
Hankering for a slice? The sauce-and-cheese joint of choice fee Company’s Dot outpost [1170 Washington St., Dorchester.
in this nabe is Windy City Pizza [516 Gallivan Blvd., Dorchester 617.298.1800.] serves up a solid
Center. 617.265.6666.]. Pat B describes their pies cup of fair-trade joe. This “charming grassroots brews-its-own,
as “hot and delicious with a nice crust,” and the buffalo chicken Aussie-inspired coffee shop” draws in Kendra S with vanilla iced
dishes have Matt F, Dan M, Em C, and Jamie S calling this their lattes, and Jake F downs their delectable hot chocolate, even in
go-to spot. the dead of summer.
Wine and cheese? Yes, please! says LeeAnn B about Espirit Du
Vin [25 Central Ave., Milton. 617.296.9463], where she picks up Have you tried a different path lately? Tell us on
“bread, desserts, balsamic vinegar, cheese, and of course wine!”
The knowledgeable staff makes Espirit a destination for vino

green land

Canopy Verde
Carrying your goods, greener
By Jamie Granoff

anopy Verde is taking the saying the “reuse, recycle” values that she would
“it’s in the bag,” to an entirely new later incorporate into her handbag line. To
level. Established in the fall of 2008, try and spread the message of practic-
this eco-chic handbag company unveiled ing eco-friendly techniques even further,
its debut line, defined as “modern meets Wong has teamed up with Chinese
earth-friendly.” Each of the bags is made manufacturers to construct her bags. The
from all-natural materials like organic company also buys the all-natural materi-
cotton and bamboo, and only uses chemi- als locally, creating demand for those
10 cal-free embroidery and chrome-free products in the area.
– leather. They come in a variety of colors, Canopy Verde’s just another way you
17 shapes and sizes, like the gym-bag-perfect can be easy on the earth and the eyes.
Dandelion Duffel or the sizeable Juniper
Tote. This larger handbag has a long [Calamint Clutch and Juniper Tote avail-

strap, multiple zippered pockets and tiny able at Envi, 164 Newbury St., Boston.
wooden feet. The Calamint Clutch is small 617.267.3684.; and Turtle,
enough to carry on your wrist and has a 619a Tremont St., South End, Boston.
removable strap. 617.266.2610. Dandelion
22 Linda Wong, founder of Canopy Verde, Duffel available at Urban Living Studio, 58
has always been dedicated to green living. Clarendon St., Boston. 617.247.8150. urban-
Growing up in Taiwan, she was taught]
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eats + drinks

Charcuterie for carnivores
How to win meaty praise this holiday


The thought of edible homemade holiday which are usually on the smaller side
gifts often brings to mind those heavy, pickled beef tongue from Hungry Mother (two to three pounds), and brines them
boozy fruitcakes that sit at the back of the overnight to help tenderize the meat
fridge until Easter. This year, for a change before slow-braising them with spices and
of pace, give the gift that’s sure to be a vegetables the next day.
conversation starter: cured meat. “I do it partly out of respect for the
Employ the French technique of char- whole animal, but the tongue just has
cuterie, the art of making pâtés, terrines, such a rich, beefy, full flavor. I stumbled
sausages and the like, to delight your across it this summer when I was working
favorite carnivore with a tasty treat. with a farm selling beef, and it was always
“I think charcuterie is a great gift idea; one of the underutilized cuts. I’m really
you can really go a long way at home be- happy that I’ve been able to turn people
fore you need any fancy kitchen gadgets,” on to it,” Maiden explains. “Like a lot of
chef Chris Bauer of Sel de la Terre says, charcuterie, people are really intimidated
“and pork is the king of charcuterie.” by it, but it’s just a really great recipe.”
Bauer continues, “I really love using So don’t be scared; skip the homemade
pork because it not only has tremendous fudge this year and grab some butt or
flavor, but it has the ideal fat to protein slip someone you care about the tongue
ratio that you need for any kind of curing, [Ew—Ed.]. It’s sure to be a gift they’ll hap-
and it’s also easy to grind.” pily digest and fondly remember.
His gift choice for the home-charcutier
is the pork pâté that he currently serves at “I do it partly out of respect for the whole CHECK OUT WEEKLYDIG.COM FOR THE
the restaurant’s Long Wharf location. “It’s animal, but the tongue just has such a rich, RECIPIES FEATURED HERE: CHRIS BAUER’S
basically just a ground pork butt, which PORK PâTé, JAMIE BISSONETTE’S CHICKEN
has a great ratio of fat to meat, emulsified beefy, full flavor.” RILLETTE, BARRY MAIDEN’S PICKLED BEEF
in a food processor or blender with salt TONGUE AND THE AUTHOR’S OWN DEUX
and red wine. It’s really simple, but it’s FOIE PÂTÉ.
really delicious.” used and it is typical to do a confit,” a pro- advice on the subject is Southern-French
For one of Boston’s foremost charcu- cess in traditional French cooking where specialist Barry Maiden of Hungry Mother.
tiers, chef Jamie Bissonette of Toro, the the meat is slow-cooked in its own fat. “A Maiden’s pickled beef tongue has been a
chicken rillette is the way to go when you lot of times, I’ll make a rillette as a gift for menu staple since the kitchen opened last
are in the gift-giving spirit. other chefs when I’m going to an expo in March, and it’s been turning heads and
“A rillette,” Bissonette informs via another city.” palates ever since.

Benjamin Darfler
kitchen telephone, “is basically a rough Another important element of the “Well, it’s not a true pickle; it’s really
spread made of puréed meat—tradition- charcuterie world is pickled or brine-cured more of a slow braise,” Maiden points
ally pork. Duck and chicken are also often meats, and the obvious place to turn to for out. For his recipe, he uses calves’ tongues,



Subscriptions available exclusively online @
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Bloody Mary Last-Minute Crowd
Gruesome and delish: how the Pleasers
brunch standard came to be Bottles to treat the boozer in your life
lupec By HANKY PANKY + PINK LADY the second glass by Tyler Balliet

For many, a good Bloody Mary is a key
The gift of booze is incredibly versatile. It can say, “Let’s
component of the quintessential lei-
celebrate this festive holiday season together,” as easily
surely brunch. But how did this eerily
as, “Let’s drink to numb the pain of this God-forsaken
named, spicy, salty cocktail come to be?
time of year.” Even if the person receiving the gift
The Bloody Mary was created by Fer-
doesn’t drink, they can always re-gift it. You also don’t
nand “Pete” Petiot at Harry’s American Bar in Paris in
have to sweat getting your boss the same thing as everyone else
1921. It was unique because it married two new things:
because if she gets three bottles of the same Champagne, she’ll be
vodka, which had recently been introduced to France
even more stoked than having received just one. Buying wine is really
by refugees from communist Russia, and canned
a no-lose holiday gift.
tomato juice, which arrived in Paris from the US after
World War I.
As one legend has it, the name refers to a woman
Don’t get stuck frantically searching your apartment
who was frequently left to sip Petiot’s cocktails in soli-
for something to wrap during a gift emergency: Prepare
tude while waiting for her gentleman friend at Harry’s
ahead of time by purchasing a few bottles of vino before
Bar. It compared her long, lonely hours waiting for her
the real madness starts. Dinner plans with rarely seen
beloved to the imprisonment of Mary Queen of Scots.
family members or visits from friends can happen
In 1933, the Astor family coaxed Petiot to move to
quickly and without warning, so make sure there are
New York to head up the King Cole Bar at the St. Regis
pre-wrapped bottles of delicious bubbly sitting ready to
Hotel, where the drink evolved. Vodka was not avail-
go in your closet. The N.V. Nino Franco Rustico Prosecco,
able stateside, so the New York version featured gin.
an Italian bubbly, is usually a summer treat, but it’s a
Also, the St. Regis’ swanky management was put off by
great quick gift. It’s a classy and sophisticated sparkling,
the gruesome name, and redubbed it the Red Snapper
but unlike its expensive French equal, this wine clocks in at
before adding it to their repertoire.
less than $20 a bottle.
In the 1950s, the cunning marketers at Smirnoff
quickly brought the Bloody Mary back to its roots.
The drink became a cornerstone of their legend-
Chances are there is a high-powered boss, law degree-holding brother-
ary campaign to introduce vodka to the American
in-law or punk-ass executive MBA student on your shopping list.
Instead of getting them golfwear or another team jersey to add to
The original Bloody Mary recipe (below) was quite
their collection, opt for a big, bold, karate chop-to-the-face bottle of
simple. The drink lends itself to variation, such as the
vino. California Cabernet has become the new “bottle of Scotch” as far
common inclusion of celery salt, horseradish and who
as gifts go, and the 2005 Darioush Cabernet Sauvignon is an awesome
knows what else. Here’s to innovation!
choice. It has every characteristic you’re looking for in a high-end Napa
Valley Cab, including a dark and manly looking label.
The general rule of thumb is to only give someone white wine
if you know, beyond a reasonable doubt, that they really love
the stuff. There are so many “I only drink red” people out there
that it’s not worth risking epic gift failure. With that said,
there are delicious whites from well-known producers that
1.5 oz vodka
are significantly less expensive than their red wine coun-
2 dashes Worcestershire
terparts. We go for the 2006 Flowers Sonoma Coast Chardonnay from
California because it has some brand recognition, but also because it’s
4 dashes Tabasco sauce
a killer bottle of Chardonnay.
pinch of salt and pepper
0.25 oz fresh lemon juice
4 oz tomato juice
If you have a handful of people to thank this year, consider a half-bot-
tle of dessert wine. Yeah, we know—this sweet, lightly fizzy, low-alcohol
12 Build in a mixing glass.
10 Italian beverage is not everyone’s cup of tea, but the 2007 Michele
08 Roll back and forth in a
– Chiarlo “Nivole” Moscato d’Asti is just so damn good. The bottles are
tin. Strain into an ice-
physically small, so you can stuff them in stockings or add them to gift
filled glass.
bags stuffed with other sweets. Best yet, you can get these little bottles

for less than $15 each.

Drink more wine! for more information: thesecondglass.coM

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Penguin Pizza

g r e a t p u b s t y l e f a r e


S e r v i n g L u n c h & D i n n e r e v e r y D ay
08 Huge sele ct ion of Imp or te d & Domest ic be ers on Draught & bot t le

Piano Sing-aLong
ever y friday Night wit h Mel st iller, 8pm-Midnight


3 1 - 3 7 st ua rt st. bO stO N 617-338-8586 W W W. JaC O bWIrtH.COM
table of contents
Trinity IPA
From Rhode Island, with hops

We always love challeng- stone fruit, hint of grapefruit and biscuit.

ing beer branding that Bitter up front—near puckering—with

News + features
boasts how much you’ll some salt, sharp citric rind edge and
love the beer inside astringency. Mild soap and some wood.
before you even take a sip. Carbonation gives a bit of a scrubbing
Bragging about medal wins is always a feel on the palate that is eventually
plus too. So when we saw a six-pack of soothed by a creamy mouthfeel. Body is

Trinity IPA from the Trinity Beer Co. in quite light. Soft, fruity apple tones follow,
Providence, R.I., we had to take up their like you just took a bite—skin and all.
challenge, which reads: Hint of caramel as the beer warms, and
“If you like India Pale Ales, the most some biscuit too. Lingering biscuit in the

gift guide
bitter of the Pale Ale family, you’re sure finish, lemony hop notes and a growing
to enjoy this original English Style IPA. huskiness (like wheat germ) that results
First brewed in Providence at the Trinity in a not-so-clean finish or enjoyable ex-

Eats + drinks
Brewhouse in 1994, its bright copper perience as the beer gets even warmer.
color, fruity aroma and bitter refresh-
ing finish will keep you coming back for Final Thoughts
more. Enjoy it, responsibly.” Compared to IPAs from England, the bit-
We do like IPAs, and English IPAs, too. terness is quite aggressive for the style,

dig this
A beer that keeps us coming back for the malt profile could use some cleaning
more? Bonus! up and the flavors just don’t seem to meld
We also noticed that the beer is actu- well, creating some unbalance. Drinking

A + E
ally bottled by Cottrell Brewing Co. out this beer when it’s anything other than

of Pawcatuck, Conn., for Trinity. Unless cold allows that huskiness to dominate
they’re brewing at the brewpub and too—not overly tasty. That said, it’s not bad,
shipping the beer to Cottrell for bottling, and gets a “B” (Good) on

it’s most likely being brewed at Cottrell with 40 reviews—we’re leaning towards
too. Not a bad thing. Contract brewing is a C+ (Decent). And 7-percent alcohol by

all the rage and on the rise with virtual volume? That’s the claim, but it’s nowhere
breweries popping up all over the world. to be found—in headiness or label.
blick H

Regardless, the taste is what matters We spied our samples for $7.99 a six- Pu o
to our palates. So less geekin’ and more pack at Whole Foods on River Street in


drinkin’ … Cambridge. The adventurous may want

to visit the brewpub in Providence for a
The Taste pint on draft. Eat Drink

Good Better
Nice, bright and clear amber pour with
some lively carbonation that induces a FOR MORE INFO: TRINITYBREWHOUSE.COM

Food. Beer.

good finger-sized, ultra-creamy (near ni- For more beer education:
tro) white foam head that coats the glass
as it settles. Fruity esters in the nose,


along with some orchard notes, ripe Respect Beer.

r kit

exit polls
Christmas Beer Brunch w/
BeerAdvocate + Upstairs on the Square
December 14 29
Harpoon Beer Dinner Join BeerAdvocate’s Candice Alström and
December 10 Upstairs’ wine director Matt Reiser for
Join Harpoon Brewery and Grafton a festive holiday brunch: three-courses,
Street for a multi-course meal paired each paired with a tasty beer. The menu
with fresh Harpoon brews. Here’s a peek: will include savory crepes with salmon,
black trumpet gnocchi (hand-rolled eggs Benedict with honey ham, apple
gnocchi with black trumpet mushrooms, cider cake, plus a welcoming course of
mushroom brodo, parmesan and black holiday breads. Call for reservations!
truffles) paired with Leviathan Series Bal- [Upstairs on the Square, 91 Winthrop St.,
tic Porter and a cassoulet (rendered duck Harvard Sq., Cambridge. 617.864.1933.
breast and smoked duck confit) paired 1pm/$38.]
with 100 Barrel Series #25 Rauchfetzen.
[Grafton Street, 1230 Mass. Ave., Harvard For additional info and more beer
Sq., Cambridge. 617.497.0400. 6pm- events:
8pm/$35 for Friends of Harpoon, $40.]
Christmas. But as far as Barrington knew, he was the only bunny in the forest, and he had no family with which to party. He attempted to join a family

All of the other forest animals had gotten together in ther homes to celebrate

dig this
Dicks and jane,
at space 242.

wednesday 12.10 friday 12.12 friday 12.12 friday 12.12 saturday 12.13
rap till you spit nails artistic inebriation a very economical Christmas fear the reaper rock that intellect
Mac Lethal Dicks and Jane Buon Natale Shopping Stroll Blue Öyster Cult Disappearer
Kansas City rap phenomenon Art is dead. Space 242 is proving Following in the footsteps of Thanks to Rock Band, everyone There’s no reason rock can’t be smart,
Mac Lethal has more street cred that art rocks with their final Mother Italy, the North End is who was sipping on their moth- and these Boston boys are a presence
12 than all the punks of Allston Rock exhibition of 2008, Dicks and Jane, hosting its second annual Buon ers’ teat in the late ’70s can now to be witnessed, describing their
08 City combined, and he’s come to featuring the artistic vision of the Natale Holiday Shopping Stroll. All appreciate the heavy metal won- tracks as “searching through decades

12 rhyme circles around the college Dig’s own Tak Toyoshima, Scott the swanky stores up and down der that she used to roll spliffs to. past and exploring the unknown
08 ghetto. Now don’t let Missouri Murry and Taylor Seidler. The great Hanover Street (and Salem Street Led by the original face-melting chasms of the human psyche”—
turn you off—this performer/pro- minds behind the paintings will and Prince Street and North force of Eric Bloom and Buck which is an understatement. These

ducer proved he’s got the rocks be in attendance, ready to discuss Bennet Street and Fleet Street) Dharma, BÖC is out to prove that psychedelic rockers will leave
to work in the underground scene their process and inspirations and will be joining in on the festivities they’ve still got what it takes to everyone impressed as they mix the
with the likes of P.O.S. and Atmo- perform favors in the alleyway for with carolers, refreshments and rock your brain into mush. These influence of Black Sabbath, Smashing
sphere, to name-drop a few. The lucrative art collectors. OK, fine, discounts! Savings when it counts leather-clad geezers can blow the Pumpkins and Zeppelin, and produce
show will also feature rhyme slay- not the last part. and free food? What better way fedora off every hipster in a five- a sound that’s completely their own
ers Grieves and Soulcrate Music. to shop local? mile radius. and laced with trippy insights into
30 [Space 242, 242 East Berkeley St., our own consciousness. Whoa.
[Harpers Ferry, 158 Brighton 2nd Flr., Boston. 617.797.3191. [North End, Boston, 7pm-11pm] [Showcase Live, 23 Patriot Pl.,
Ave., Allston. 617.254.7380. 8pm/ 6pm/21+/free with RSVP. Foxboro. 888.354.7042. 8pm/$26- [Great Scott, 1222 Comm. Ave.,
18+/$10.]] $46.] Allston. 617.566.9014. 9pm/
of squirrels, but was turned away from their festivities because he bore no physical resemblance to them. His eyes filling with tears, he sadly turned for

table of contents
home, resigned to spending Christmas Eve alone. Almost home, he heard the excited squeaking of field mice beneath the ground.

News + features
gift guide
Eats + drinks
dig this
A + E
exit polls
sunday 12.14 monday 12.15 tuesday 12.16 wednesday 12.17 wednesday 12.17–sunday 1.4
hipster heaven modern renaissance oh the webs they weave oui oui anti-holiday hero
Mass Market III Seven Times Salt Deb Olin Unferth & M.T. Anderson Shoot the Piano Player Santaland Diaries 31
OK, we get it, you don’t like buy- Seven Times Salt meticulously Brookline Booksmith is showcas- The French are not always a great David Sedaris’ cult essay on the
ing from big box chain companies. absorbs every note and subtlety of ing two acclaimed authors for source for feel-good films, and adventures of Crumpet the surly
Neither do we. Mass Market is classical music and transforms it double the book-signing pleasure. Truffaut’s Shoot the Piano Player Christmas elf of Macy’s has made it
the DIY flea market of every- into something modern audiences Deb Olin Unferth debuts her first is no exception. Beginning with to the stage of the New Rep. In this
thing a creative soul could desire. can truly enjoy. Mixing dance novel, Vacation: a postmodern his wife’s suicide, classical pianist ever changing world, Sedaris’ sar-
Everyone from vinyl junkies to tunes with late 16th-century tale of misshapen heads, amateur Charlie Koller bottoms out and casm and wit are something we can
bookbinders to clothing designers compositions may seem next to detective work and windingly does the only thing he knows how always treasure. His biting words
and vegan bakers will be pushing impossible, but the results take on interwoven events. M.T. Anderson’s to do: plays at a Parisian dive bar. and social critique lend to a hilari-
their wares for a fun-filled day of a life of their own, creating a clas- new book: The Astonishing Life of The somber plot continues with ous production following the story
bartering, selling and sharing. Put sic, fresh sound. Catch them for Octavian Nothing: Traitor to the troublesome brothers who bring of his seasonal work at America’s
down that PBR and head over. Or their sixth annual holiday concert, Nation, Volume II: The Kingdom on the danger of gangland to his door- mother of all retail stores and his
rather, chug it first. Thys Endere Nyght. the Waves is the follow-up to his step, leading to a harrowing look interaction with the Christmas-
National Book Award-winning first inside the soul of a broken man. crazed loonies he encounters.
[Massachusetts College of Art and [The Loring-Greenough House, installment.
Design, 621 Huntington Ave., Bos- 12 South St., Jamaica Plain. [Brattle Theatre, 40 Brattle St., [New Rep Theater, 321 Arsenal St.,
ton. 617.879.700. 12pm/all ages/$1. 617.524.3158. 8pm/all ages/free. [Brookline Booksmith, 279 Harvard Harvard Sq., Cambridge. Watertown. 617.923.8487.]] St., Brookline. 617.566.6660. 7pm/ 617.876.6837. 5:30pm & 7:30pm/ showtimes vary/$30.]
free.] $9.50.]




New England’s Culture Magazine
arts entertainment

table of contents
music | adam F + big bear movies | doubt + cadillac records + helvetica arts | 826 auction + stella’s David Wain

News + features
gift guide


Eats + drinks

Medford-native Steve Macone won Boston Universi-
The List ty’s 2006 Funniest Student Competition in his senior

dig this
year, opened for Dave Coulier of Full House, then got
an agent and now he’s rich. Well, not financially rich,

A + E
but he’s raking it in comedically with a clean act that
From Bob Diesel of the Boston House
goofily contemplates life’s questions, big and small.
Music Coalition

As the Comedy Studio’s December “comic in resi-
10 | Mandré—“Solar Flight (Opus 1)” dence,” he’ll open every show there for the month.

I make a living doing comedy as well as freelance
9 | The Brothers—“Under the Skin” (RCA) 1976

writing, though “living” is a strong word. Making
a “slowly dying while living at home with my

8 | Players’ Association—“Ride the Groove”
parents” might be a better way to put it. Also,
(Vanguard) 1979
working on a book.

7 | Tony Paris—“Electric Automan” DO YOUR PARENTS APPROVE OF YOUR CAREER?
(Vanguard) 1985 They’re not as concerned about the trajectory or

specifics of my comedy career as they are about
6 | Theo Vaness—“No Romance/Keep on whether I washed the dishes. They’re happy as long
Dancin’/I’m a Bad, Bad as I wash the dishes.

Cloth, Paper, Scissors Boy” (Prelude) 1979
As a kid, it was simple to seal the deal with “rock, paper, scissors.” As 5 | Montana—“Warp My act has simultaneous elements of silliness
Factor II” (Atlantic) 1978 and seriousness (like a joke about the true es-

adults, we can alleviate our holiday shopping misery with help from the
annual Design Nearby sale. Titled Cloth, Paper, Scissors, this year’s version sence of forgiveness), and I’m not sure that they
4 | Cher—“Take Me Home” exist on opposite ends of a spectrum. I worked

exit polls
comes with 16 artists and their fresh, urban, holiday-inspired pieces. It’s
difficult to decide who to mention first. UMass-Dartmouth grad and de- (Casablanca) 1979 as a plumber for seven summers and I studied at
signer Shara Porter will sell some of her special remixed vintage accesso- Oxford and I’ve traveled a lot—you stop seeing
ries. The felt-inclined Joshua Stone will have some sweet coasters, holiday 3 | Kebekelektrik—“War things as polar opposites—silly versus serious, 33
ornaments and vases all made out of industrial felt. Jennifer Hill’s “Places Dance” (Salsoul) 1978 smart jokes versus those with mass appeal—and
I Have Never Been” collection puts an international (and imaginary) spin more as complementary.
on calendars. Dave Ortega, a flag-flying member of the Miracle 5 art 2 | Inner Life—“Ain’t No
superhero group, vends some of his Geoskullz tees, which are very fly. And
(The Garage Version)” COMEDY STUDIO RUN?
don’t forget Pink Comma director Chris Grimley and wifey Kelly Smith, the
(Salsoul) 1981 I want to just hit it really hard and mix consistency
founders of the Boston design studio Etcetera Media. They’ll all present up
with innovation. I’m working on this one joke about
Jennifer Hill, Joshua Stone + Shara Porter

to six pieces, with all sorts of shtuff for sale. With the well-deep, magnifi-
1 | Logg—“You’ve Got That Something” how nature isn’t even aware of how beautiful it is.
cent design talent in the Hub, you can outfit your entire holiday giving
(Salsoul) 1981 Pretty funny, huh? So, let’s check back in on that
with creative, handmade treasures … and get bonus karma to pawn onto
one at the end of the month.
your Republican mom. [NAKIA HILL]
[Bob Diesel spins after the showing of Cin-
[Steve Macone at The Comedy Studio. Wed-Sun,
eMental Presents: The Godfather of Disco. Wed
[Design Nearby: Cloth, Paper, Scissors. Fri 12.12.08. Pink Comma Gallery, through 12.30.08. 1236 Mass. Ave., Harvard Sq.,
12.17.08. Brattle Theatre, 40 Brattle St., Harvard
81B Wareham St., Boston. 617.426.4466. 6pm-11pm/free. pinkcomma. Cambridge. 8pm/all ages/$8 Sun, Wed, Thurs;
Sq., Cambridge. 617.876.6837. 9:30pm/$10.
com,] $10 Fri, Sat. 617.661.6507.,]]
Wednesday, Dec 10 Monday, Dec 15
starts 8:30
Thursday, Dec 11
West African pop Tuesday, Dec 16
NY Songwriters Circle
Friday, Dec 12 Mieka Pauley, Seth
roots rock Glier & more
Memphis Rockabily
Girl Howdy Wednesday, Dec 17
Saturday, Dec 13
pop upcoming shows:
BRONZE RADIO 12/18-Chandler
10 RETURN Travis’ X-Mas

12/19-Pressure Cooker
17 Sunday, Dec 14 12/20-Los Sugar Kings
Jazz Brunch 12/23-Old Time Music
w/ music 12/26-Playin’ Dead

9:00 -2:30 PM 12/27-Swinging
Blues Jam Johnsons
4:30 -8:30 12/31-Booty Vortex

34 17 Holland St., Davis Sq.
Somerville (617) 776-2004
Directly on T Red Line at Davis
table of contents
Erinn Brown (often referred to as “2N”
because of the essential double consonant in
her name) has been playing stages all over Bos-
ton since the late ’90s. The sultry songstress

started out singing for rock cover bands while
ADAM F writing her own stuff, eventually releasing her

solo debut, Road Signs to the Sun, in 1999. Her
Has many balls to juggle latest solo album, Don’t Forget About It, is a

News + features
soulful mix of blues, jazz, funk, and folk rock.
PROFILE BY DAVID DAY Though she is now a solo artist, Brown is no
stranger to sharing the stage. Alongside Erinn
Brown Band drummer Steve Peabody, she’ll
Five times a day Adam be playing at the Clear Conscience Café, so

must kneel and pray to you know you can walk out with some good,
record crate #31. legitimately fair-trade and organic (and shade-
grown!) coffee. [Thu 12.11.08. 581 Mass. Ave.,

gift guide
Central Sq., Cambridge. 617.661.1580. 8pm/all
ADAM F ages/free.]

Eats + drinks

dig this

A + E
henning ohlenbusch

to catch up with Redman (they
produced “Smash Sumthin’” in

2001). “To drive around with Red-
man and listen to tracks we’re
working on, it’s pretty cool, do Central Chambers is the deliciously

you know what I mean?” he says. comforting third album from Northampton’s
The duo was “messin’ around” folk-pop quintet, Winterpills. Dual vocalists

with some beats alongside Red’s Philip Price and Flora Reed have perfected the
partner in crime: Method Man. art of male-female harmony, while the oc-

Of course, DJing still gets casionally rough guitars and drumming offsets
Fenton the most excited. He still their poignant voices in the best of ways. The
The world of Adam Fenton, aka Adam F, is runs his own drum & bass label, Breakbeat group, praised everywhere from No Depres-

not exactly a waking nightmare. Produc- KAOS, and makes a good living off DJing. sion to the Village Voice, provides equal parts
ing renowned drum & bass/jazz album “There’s a night called Run in Bristol, which pop melodies and heartbreaking indie-rock

Colours put him on a path hardly anyone, I like playing in,” he says. “It’s a really small, tunes highlighted by Price’s storytelling lyrics.
least of all him, would expect. “You have low-lit club and it has these old hanging To celebrate the CD, the guys and girl will
dreams and desires when you’re younger,” lights and whenever the crowd’s kicking off be playing at Club Passim, Harvard Square’s
he says on the phone from Los Angeles, they bang on the lights and hang off these excellent home to all things crunchy and

“but you realize life unfolds completely dif- cords and swing up and down. That’s a true folkified, a doubly good reason to go. [Sun
ferently and then you just get on with it.” and honest club to play in.” Then there’s 12.14.08. 47 Palmer St., Harvard Sq., Cam-

exit polls
Although he is firmly established as a places he loves, like St. Petersburg, Russia. bridge. 617.492.7679. 7:30pm/all ages/$15.
drum & bass DJ, having cracked the UK pop “They do this huge party called Pirate Sta-]
charts with singles like “Music In My Mind,” tion and there are 15,000 people. It’s like
his career has gone on to hip-hop and R&B Tiësto but with grimy drum & bass.” MassArt’s showing of the Beat Research
production, with names like Redman, LL The life of a DJ is a rough one indeed. class presentations is Boston’s yearly chance
Cool J and M.O.P. Most recently, though, Even he was still deciding which gig to take to get into the heads of some beat-talented
he has become a film actor with a smaller on New Year’s Eve, easily the biggest gig for brains. The scientists come from the classroom
role in The Heavy and now, opposite British a DJ these days. “It’s either London as an of Professor DJ Flack (aka Antony Flackett),
acting legend Richard E. Grant, in the film option, or Seattle, which I played last year, where they’ve been studying everything from
Cuckoo. While it’s not a stretch to play each or Hawaii,” he says. (Sounded like he was old school to new school for school: sampling,
of these music-based characters, there’s leaning toward Hawaii.) techniques, image and hip-hop’s presence in
something about Fenton the camera loves. Is there a film with Redman, Method pop culture. The students perform an array
“It’s not Lord of the Rings, know what I Man and Fenton in the future? A fish-out- of projects, including original tracks, videos
mean?” he says with a laugh. “But it’s nice of-water gangster caper set in Guy Ritchie’s and even live performances. Hear what’s next
to do something else that’s creative and London? “That’s a good idea,” he says, after next after next at the Enormous Room.
challenging and different.” Cuckoo is cur- chuckling. “Life’s showing me you forget
[Mon 12.15.08. 567 Mass. Ave., Central Sq.,
rently in post-production. about things, and then all of sudden, two
Cambridge. 617.491.5550. 9pm/18+/free.
But Fenton is still in touch with his hip- years later, it’s happening, but from a com-]
hop friends. While in LA, he had the chance pletely different angle.”

Big Bear

Don’t you just want to strum that guitar every once in a while, I think,
watching Big Bear as they rock the stage. Just a big fat C chord once
for the kids? But Big Bear’s not going to make it easy for you. Hard-
rock riffs, twists and tangles, unfamiliar modalities, skronky keys, big
broken beats and bending shouts jolt across the stage ... I’m kind of
not sure I’m in Boston anymore. Without a real central point of focus
in their tunes or presentation, Big Bear represents a high-sensory
brand of something caught between metal, classical and indie rock.
“It was supposed to be an arena rock band,” says guitarist and
chief music writer Joel Roston. Mission not accomplished. Roston’s
interest in classical music ultimately probably got in the way of
any “More Than A Feeling” aspirations. But they do have a keyboard
player who stands (that would be Joanne Dill). She and Roston are
the melodic beast of the band, tirelessly cranking out sequences of
completely off-kilter runs that take a while to get used to, but even-
tually you get there. “I’ve studied a lot of ‘out’ classical music and the
thing is, you realize it is really hard to escape from a 1-4-5 mental-
ity,” says Roston. “Hopefully everything we do has some awesome
rock sound.”
It would actually probably all drift away if not for Jordyn Bonds,
whose talk/shout style of singing owes as much to Mary Weiss and
Bob Dylan as it does to Debbie Harry and Johnny Rotten (except
no rambling gambling epics or car crashes). Roston treads carefully
on summing up the main idea of Bonds’ lyrics for me: “Hmm. The
fact that humans can be very, very wonderful but instead we’re just
gonna kill ourselves.” So it’s love and death, happiness and pain.
Maybe not right out of the pages of Bad Company’s songbook, but
in the end, it’s rock & roll. “I trust the listener to be able to pick the
really simplistic structures out of the complexity,” says Roston. And
I would say with a sensory experience as intense as Big Bear, some
element of trust is key.

[Big Bear with Parts & Labor, Neptune and Thief Thief. Fri 12.12.08.
Middle East Upstairs, 472 Mass. Ave., Central Sq., Cambridge.
617.864.3278. 9pm/18+/$9.,]



08 The four-piece group The Wandas separate
themselves from the large pack of Boston

pop bands with a tightly designed, smart
sound. Besides the production from Patrick
Krief (of The Dears) and the mastering of
Ryan Morey (The Stills, Arcade Fire), the
36 vocals from Keith McEachern and friends are
a delight. Check the matching harmonies of “Bending Over Back-
wards” or the fun falsetto on “Trepidation” for the ingredient that
truly adds to the already focused formula. Expect this Berklee-bred
band to do what many others have done: blow up. [DAVID DAY]
table of contents
MUSIC | for advertising + listings info,

Cafe 939 Soulcrate Music Band [10pm/21+]
Live Band Karaoke feat. [8pm/18+/$10] [9:30pm/free]

Downtown Fever Plough & Stars
[8pm/free] Hong Kong at Faneuil Middle East Upstairs Sara Leveque Duo
Hall This is how rumors get [10pm/21+]
Church Late Night Karaoke started, Sincerely, the

The Ting Tings [9pm/21+] Management, Sera Del Precinct

News + features
[8pm/21+/free] Fuego, Doug Orey The Rex Complex
Jacque’s [9pm/18+/$8 adv, [10pm/21+]
Fireplace Boyz Will Be Girlz, $9 dos]
Jazz Wednesdays w/ hosted by Melinda Ryles
Few knew that Earthsound Wilson, Mizery and Milky Way Anita Coelho Brazilian
Teddy was actually [9:30pm/21+] guests DJ Generoso’s Bovine Ensemble
born from a tree [10:30pm/21+/$6] Ska [9pm/21+] [9pm/$10]
Good Life Hot Salsa Wednesdays

vagina. Oranjuly,
Bassic w/ Pandai’a, Johnny D’s My House w/ DJ Rob Suave
12.10.08, at Steppo and guests Edit, Elliott Murphy, Jann Karaoke [8:30pm/18+/$10-
Great Scott. Ooah of Glitch Mob Klose [9pm/21+/free] $12]
[9pm/21+/$5] [8:30pm/21+/$12]
O’Brien’s Scullers

gift guide
All Asia
Great Scott Kells Born of Thunder, Act IV: A night of music
Johnny Nicholson’s
Oranjuly, No Casino, Get Over the Hump Finisher, Hot On The and musings feat.
Songwriter’s Circle
Shanghai Thrills, Tom Wednesdays w/ DJ Heels, Warhead Carol O’Shaughnessy,
Thumb Lay-Zee-Boy [9pm/21+/$6] Dane Vannatter,
Open Mic Hosted by

Eats + drinks
[9pm/18+/$9] [10pm/21+/free] Piero Bonamico, Lynda
Bryan Murphy of the Phoenix Landing D’Armour
Shills [9pm/21+] Harpers Ferry Middle East Corner Midweek Techno: [8pm/$28]
Mac Lethal w/ Grieves, Belly Dance w/ Live Sergio’s Bday Bash

thursday 12.11

dig this
Bar w/ VJ Tom Yaz Great Scott Middle East Corner Olivers @ Cask ‘n
[10pm/21+] Tyler’s Birthday Mish- Chelsea City Council Flagon

A + E
mash Band Hash feat. [10pm] Black River Sound, Soul
Burren members of Amoroso, Mafia, The Problemad-
Swinging Johnsons Animal Hospital, Big Middle East Down- dicts [8pm/21+]

[8pm/21+] Bear, Clawjob, Ho-Ag, stairs
Ketman, Neptune, The The New Deal, Mocean Paradise Rock Club
Worker [8pm/18+/$22 Luke Bryan

Cafe 939 Secret Sea, Tristan Da
The Dear Hunter, Cunha and more adv, $25 dos] [8pm/18+]
Person L. [9pm/18+/$8]
Middle East Upstairs Phoenix Landing

[8pm/all ages/$13 adv,
Hong Kong at Faneuil Rhymezwell (CD Elements feat. Adam F.
$15 dos]
Hall release) feat. Ebb & [10pm/19+/$5]

Nonstop Karaoke Flow, Calvery Crew,
always appreciate Church Plough & Stars
[6pm/21+] Nox Beatz & Fat Ricky,
Conrad’s perfor- The Rationales, Dear- L.E.G. and more Scarce [10pm/21+]
DJ Dancing
mances in the born Valley, The Bees [9pm/18+/$10 adv,

darkroom. Ratio- Knees, Preacher Jack $13 dos] Precinct
nales, 12.11.08, [8pm/21+/$8] Jacque’s Stuff @ Night Party,
Jacque’s Angels hosted Milky Way The Rex Complex
at Church.

Felt by Kris Knievil w/ Todo Mundo w/ DJ [10pm/21+]
True Music Thursdays Milinda Wilson and Lone Wolf
Alchemist Lounge w/ Beautiful Lies, Eric guests [9pm/21+/free] Redline
Forest Henderson Colville, Shadwell [11pm/21+/$6] Joe McMahon Trio

[10pm/21+/free] [9pm/21+/$8, free w/ My House [7pm/21+]
college ID] Johnny D’s International Thurs- Soul Clap [10pm/21+]
All Asia Samba Lolo [9pm/21+] days feat. Live Brazilian
Mightly Tighty Bands [8pm/21+/free] Ryles
[6:30pm] Kells Temporada Latina

Latin Thursdays w/
TheMurder, The Lessar Thirsty Thursday O’Brien’s [8:30pm/21+/$8-$12]
Evils, Mouth Sewn Shut Alma [9:30/21+]
[10pm/21+] Mob Hit, Eyewitness
[9:30pm/21+] Scullers
selene angier

Death Count, Guilty

exit polls
Good Life Krisanthi Pappas and
Kitty O’Shea’s as Sin
An Tua Nua P.M.S. w/ Ms. Thang, Doug Hammer
Onset, DJs Artie V. and [9pm/21+/$6]
Night Gallery Video Just John [9pm/21+] [8pm/$18]
Greg G. [6pm/21+]
friday 12.12
Alchemist Lounge Bar w/ VJ Tom Yaz The Freeways, Black Presents The Gas
One Happy Island [10pm/21+] Mosettes [7pm/18+/$5]
[10pm/21+] [8pm/21+/$10] The Pill w/ DJs Ken &
Biltmore Grille Michael V
All Asia Karaoke w/ Dana Z Felt [9pm/21+/$5]
CNC Music Marathon [9pm] ‘80s Cover Bands,
w/ David Cousins, Mash-Up Fridays w/ Harpers Ferry
Zarni de Wet, The Burren DJ Rick Rude, Mash-up Corey Smith w/ Matt
Modern Elite, Road Moonshine [8pm/21+] Mafia [9pm/21+] Lowell [8pm/18+/$12
The roadie got an Apples, Secret Chan- adv, $15 dos]
nels, Johnny Duke and Cafe 939 Good Life
eyeful when he
The Aces Richard Saunders’s Seed in the City w/ DJ Hong Kong at Faneuil
popped up from a Urban Appeal, Julia
[6pm/21+ after Bradford James, Randy Hall
trap door by the Easterlin [8pm/$10] Deshaies w/ guest Happy Hour Karaoke
10pm/$6 for 21+, $9
speaker. Barnicle, for 18-20] Halo [9pm/21+/$5] [6pm-10pm/21+]
mick murray

12.12.08, at the Church DJ Dancing [9pm/21+]
Middle East Down- An Tua Nua The Dirty Truck- Great Scott
stairs. Night Gallery Video ers, Prime Movers, Anderson Comedy
more listings >> 38
MUSIC | for advertising + listings info,

friday 12.12 FROM >> 37

Jacque’s [21+] My House [8pm/18+] bers, $20 guests]
Kris Knievil and the Live Music
cast of “Miss-Lead- Middle East Corner [8pm/21+/free] Phoenix Landing Ryles
ing Ladies:” Destiny, Angela Desveaux & Pretty Little Things w/ Jazzadelic
Mizery, Lakia Mondale, The Mighty Ship O’Brien’s DJ Vinny [9pm/$10]
Fena Barbitall Muck and the Mires, [10pm/21+/$5] Viernes des Vacilon
[10pm/21+/$10] Middle East Downstairs Topheavy, The Down- Latin Dance Party
Freezepop, Bon beat 5, The Buckners Precinct [8:30pm/18+/free
Johnny D’s Savants, The [9pm/21+/$8] Frank Graham, Kevin before 10pm, $5 after,
Memphis Rockabilly, Toothaches, Barnicle Connolly $10 after 11pm]
Girl Howdy [8pm/18+/$12] Olivers @ Cask ‘n [10:30pm/21+]
[9:45pm/21+] Flagon Scullers
Middle East Upstairs This Blue Heaven, The Redline Karrin Allyson
Kells Neptune, Parts & Honors, Common Thrill DJ KC Hallett of Soul [8pm, 10pm/$25]
Fridays Ladies Night Labor, Big Bear, Thief (CD release), The Mo- Revival [8pm/21+]
w/ DJ Grasshopper Thief [9pm/18+/$9] tion Sick
[10pm/21+/ladies free [8pm/21+] Rise
before 12am] Milky Way Orbit w/ Hearthrob:
The Final “The Wobble” Paradise Rock Club Red Foxx, Baltimoro-
Kitty O’Shea’s Friday Soul Party Sister Hazel w/ Benjy der, Morgan Louis and
Fusion Fridays w/ DJs [9pm/21+/free] Davis Project, Andrew Hush & Bons
Greg G. and Artie V. Hoover [2am/18+/$10 mem-

saturday 12.13
10pm/$6 for 21+, $9 Good Life w/ DJ Darren Drag O’Brien’s
for 18-20] Mister Jason w/ guests [10pm/21+] We’re All Gonna Die,
Ricky Powell, Rude-1 Hackman, The Under
An Tua Nua [9pm/21+/$5] Kitty O’Shea’s [9pm/21+/$8]
Uber Saturdays w/ DJ Plan B Saturdays w/ DJ
Susan Esthera Great Scott Greg G [21+] Phoenix Landing
[10pm/21+] Zozobra, Disppearer, Boom Boom Room w/
Night Gallery Video Gods and Queens, Middle East Corner DJ Vinny
Bar w/ VJ Tom Yaz Angels of Meth Po Boys Hammond B-3 [10pm/21+/$5]
Yeah, um, I’m [10pm/21+] [9pm/21+/$9] Organ Trio
Styles P. Welcome Plough & Stars
Biltmore Grille Harpers Ferry Middle East Down- Family Jewels
to my crib. So it’s stairs
Brian Burrill [9pm] Styles P [8pm/18+/$18 [4pm/21+]
a little messy. adv, $20 dos] The Viennagram, Death and Taxes
Shut up! Styles P, Burren Asleep in a Box, Aux, [10:30pm/21+]
12.13.08, at Spitting Vinnies Hong Kong at Faneuil Sizzlechest
Harpers Ferry. [8pm/21+] Hall [8pm/18+/$10] Precinct
Happy Hour Karaoke James Christensen,
Cafe 939 [5pm-9pm/21+] Middle East Upstairs Fancy Trash
Alchemist Lounge The Dear Hunter, 3 DJ Dancing Plus/Minus, Mean [9pm/21+]
Absinthe w/ The Amaz- [8pm/$13 adv, $15 [9pm/21+] Creek, Cotton Jones,
ing DJ Knife dos] Cotton Candy Redline
[10pm/21+] Jacque’s [9pm/18+/$10] DJ Inkognito
Church Kris Knievil and the [10pm/21+]
All Asia Logan 5 & The Runners, cast of “Miss-Lead- Milky Way
Wed 12/10 Alex Wright and the Weisstronauts, Sool, ing Ladies:” Destiny, Mango’s Latin Dance Rise
Wrongs My Own Worst Enemy, Mizery, Lakia Mondale, w/ DJ Baby Boricua Storm w/ Boris
[12pm] The Mercy James Gang Fena Barbitall [9pm/21+/ladies free [1am/18+/$10 mem-
Boby Limijaya [8pm/21+/$10] [7:45pm, before 10:30pm, $5 bers, $20 guests]
Thur 12/11 [3pm]
10pm/21+/$10] before 11:30pm, $10]
CNC Music Marathon
Enjoy our great JOHNSONS
w/ Mary Casiello, Merry Effen Christmas! Johnny D’s My House Samba Tremeterra
beer selection! Flaming Awesome, The Holiday Party w/ DJ Bronze Radio Return Dance: hip-hop, house, [9pm/$10]
Wrong Noises, The Pretty Boy Jones [9:45pm/21+] R&B, rock, mashups, Supershag
Effective Dose, Melanie [10pm/21+/ free w/ top 40 [9:15pm/18+/$15]
Fri 12/12 Driscoll, Mepos RSVP] Kells [8pm/21+/free]
MOONSHINE [6pm/21+ after Celebration Saturday

Sat 12/13 sunday 12.14
All Asia Ton Parade Hong Kong at Faneuil It, Interrobang?!, Kill
Brandon Sheer [4pm] [8pm/21+/$7 adv, Hall Conrad
Sun 12/14 James Risolo Showcase $10 dos] Late Night Karaoke [1pm/all ages/$10]
Singer Songwriter [7pm] [9pm/21+] Grimis, Blastronauts,
Series with Great Scott Action Verbs, Plastic
DanielleM @ 8PM Biltmore Grille Jacque’s Reverie [9pm/18+/$8
10 Truth Serum w/ Dr.
08 Christie Leigh Bellany Work! w/ JujuBee and adv, $9 dos]

[9pm] Sketchy’s Anti-Art Destiny
School Cabaret Life
08 Mon 12/15 Burren Drawing Class
[21+/$6] Milky Way
Wreckage Talent Show
Set Dancing 8pm “Song for Dolphin Brunch Session w/ Johnny D’s
[2:30pm/18+/$7] [9pm/$8]

Children” is always Gannon Family All These Kings, Crans- Blues Jam
a room-clearer.
Tue 12/16 Bon Iver, 12.14.08,
[12pm/all ages]
Americano Session
ton Willow [4:30pm/21+] My House
Gay night w/ DJ Mike
Open Mic w/ at the Wilbur [7pm/21+]
[9pm/18+/free] Middle East Corner Giller [8pm/21+/free]
Hugh McGowan Theatre. Singer/Songwriter Belly Dance show w/
Harpers Ferry
@6:30 Series w/ Danielle DJ Garabed hosted by Phoenix Landing
[8pm/21+] The Ducky Boys w/ Far Sahar Rebound w/ Tanner
38 Alchemist Lounge From Finished, Pinker- [9pm/free] Ross and Jason B.
Jeremy Lyons and the Church ton Thugs, Morgan [10pm/19+/$5, free
247 Elm Street, Davis Sq. Somerville, MA Deltabilly Boys The Boston Babydolls, Knockers Middle East Upstairs before 11pm]
(617-776-6896) ::: [10pm/21+] Miss Tess & the Bon- [7pm/all ages/$10] Have Nots, Brunt Of
Open til 2am every Friday and Saturday
table of contents
MUSIC | for advertising + listings info,
SUNDAY 12.14 Wed 12/10
Plough & Stars Precinct Rise Ryles Wilbur Theatre This is how rumors get started,
Frank Drake and the Sea Monsters Earth Jazz Brunch Bon Iver Sincerely the Management,

Aristocrats [5pm/21+] [10pm/21+] [2am/18+/$10 mem- [10am-3pm] [8pm/$21.50] Doug Orey $8adv/$9dos
Frank Morey Band bers, $20 guests] Salsa Sundays
[9pm/21+] [6pm/18+/$10] thu 12/11
Leedz Edutainment presents

Rhymezwell CD Release Party
monday 12.15

News + features
featuring Ebb & Flow,
Calvery Crew, Nox Beatz &
Thistles [6pm] Harpers Ferry Building’s On Fire, Alive Voyager 01 and DJ Fat Ricky, L.E.G. and more
DJ Natan vs. DJ V-Nice Radio Fix w/ Antique and Awake Uppercut
[9pm/21+] Scream [8pm/18+] [8pm/18+/ $8] [10pm/21+/$5]

Biltmore Grille Hong Kong at Faneuil My House Plough & Stars
Fri 12/12
Neptune, Parts & Labor,

Mark Purcell Hall Live Jazz and Open Kepi Acoustic w/ DJ
[9pm] Triviaoke [10pm-12am] Jazz Jam w/ Renato Ryan the Terrible Big Bear, Thief Thief $9
Dude, quit playing Karaoke [12am/21+] Malavasi and Friends [10pm/21+/$3]
Burren [8pm/21+/free] sat 12/13
peek-a-boo through
Set Dancing w/ Ger Jacque’s Precinct +/- (a.ka. Plus/Minus,

gift guide
my hair. It’s so Cooney Jaded Lounge hosted O’Brien’s The Mike Hastings Absolutely Kosher Records)
not metal. [8pm/21+] by Becca D’Bus Razormaze, Unholy Band [10pm/21+] with Mean Creek, Cotton
Razormaze, 12.15.08, [10pm/21+/$6] Goatfucker, Spewtila- Jones $10
at O’Brien’s. Great Scott tor, Boarcorpse, Ill Scullers
Otis Grove, Missing Middle East Upstairs Daemonium Melissa Morgan sun 12/14 Matinee

Eats + drinks
All Asia Traces (farewell show), Another Polk Christ- [9pm/21+/$8] [8pm/$18]
Brick by Brick Productions
Sam Reid and the Riot Rex Comlex mas Party w/ The
rev aaron

[9pm/18+/$8] Antlers, Gypsy Cab, The Phoenix Landing presents
Act, Poverty Line Old
Time Band, The Tin Beasts of England, This Makka Mondays w/ Have Nots, Brunt Of It,
Kill Conrad All Ages $10

dig this
tuesday 12.16 NOTE: 1pm Doors
McGowan Hong Kong at Faneuil My House Plough & Stars sun 12/14 Night show

A + E
[6:30pm/21+] Hall Open Mic night w/ Kaitlin Dibble w/
Grimis, Blastronauts, Action
Late Night Karaoke Bobbielee and Friends Michala
Cafe 939 [9pm/21+] [10pm/21+] Verbs, Plastic Reverie

Poetry Slam feat. Regie $8adv/$9dos
Gibson [8pm/$5] Jacque’s O’Brien’s Precinct
Karaoke Hosted by Not Art Collaborative Mon 12/15

School for Robots; Left
Church Mizery
Hand Does; Sincerely,
[10pm/21+] Polk Records presents
Pray for Mojo, Mighty [21+/$6] Another Polk Christmas Party
Tiny, Andrew Lewis The Management Ryles
Seen here headlin- with The Antlers, Gypsy Cab,

[8pm/21+/$5] Johnny D’s [9pm/21+/$8] Artist Showcase, Multi-
ing at Backyard-a- The Beasts of England,
palooza ’07. New York Songwriters Band Event
Good Life Circle Paradise Rock Club [8:30pm/$8] This Building’s On Fire,

Bobbielee, 12.16.08, Tuesday Night Ten out of Tenn Christ- Alive and Awake $8
[8:30pm/21+] Noche Latina Tuesdays
at My House. Squabble [8pm/21+] mas Tour feat. Griffin [7pm/18+/$10-$13] NOTE: 8pm Doors
Middle East Corner House, Katie Herzig,

All Asia Great Scott The Sneaks Trent Dabbs, Tyler Scullers tue 12/16
Karmic Songwriters Ice Cream Social w/ James, Jeremy Lister, David Benoit’s The Living Sea, The Mystery
Circle [6:30pm] Chris Devlin, E-Marce Middle East Upstairs “A Charlie Brown
Butterfly Boucher, Tramps, Loud Clappers $8
Dylan Galvin & Friends [9pm/18+/$8] The Living Sea, The Christmas” w/ Boston

KS Rhoads, Matthew
[9:30pm/21+] Mystery Tramps, Loud City Singers Choir
Harpers Ferry Clappers, Motorcar
Perryman Jones, Andy Wed 12/17
[8pm, 10pm/$28]
Burren Indie Rock Parade [9pm/18+/$8]
Davis, Erin Mccarley Sparky’s Flaw

Open Mic w/ Hugh [8pm/18+] [7pm/18+] (Mercury Records, fr. VA),
Sunset is a Battle,
Soap Stars $9
WednesdAy 12.17

Biltmore Grille Old War, The Morning Middle East Down- Roadsteamer, Chris
Karaoke w/ Dana Z Light, Michelle Darosa stairs Coxen, The Ander- thu 12/11
[9pm] [7pm/all ages/$10 adv, Taproot, Silent Season, son Comedy Group, MassConcerts presents The

exit polls
$12 dos] Resin [8pm/18+/$15] Mehran, Bethany Van New Deal, Mocean Worker
Church Delft and Campaign
Ralph Eats Dynamite, Hong Kong at Faneuil Middle East Upstairs for Realtime
Red Quiet, Thick as Hall Sparky’s Flaw, Slow [7pm/18+]
Thieves, The Darker Late Night Karaoke Motion Driver, Soap Fri 12/12 39
Hues [8pm/21+/$8] [9pm/21+] Stars [9pm/18+/$9] Phoenix Landing Freezepop,
Midweek Techno: Justin Bon Savants,
You don’t want to Fireplace Jacque’s Milky Way Carr [10pm/21+] The Toothaches,
know what Kathy Kathy Olson Boyz Will Be Girlz, Soulkore’s Stardust Barnicle $12
[9:30pm/21+] hosted by Melinda Open Stage Plough & Stars
learned in band
camp. Kathy Olson,
Wilson, Mizery and [2pm/21+/$5] Poverty Line Old Time sat 12/13
Good Life guests Band [10pm/21+]
12.17.08, at Dancehall Xmas style My House Team Shred presents
Fireplace. w/ Kotek, Damian Silva Karaoke Precinct The Viennagram,
w/ guest DJ Brynmore Johnny D’s [9pm/21+/free] The Rex Complex Asleep in a Box,
Alchemist Lounge
[9pm/21+] Zagnutt [10pm/21+] Aux, Sizzlechest $10
[8:30pm/21+] O’Brien’s
The Speakeasys
Great Scott Escape The Basement, Ryles Wed 12/17
The Broken River Kells The Susan Constant Hiro Honshuku and A- MassConcerts presents
Prophet, Quincunx, Get Over the Hump [9pm/21+/$7] NO-NE Christmas Taproot, Silent Season, Resin
All Asia
Shepherdess, Ghost Wednesdays [9pm/$10]
Johnny Nicholson’s Paradise Rock Club-
Box Orchestra [10pm/21+/free] Hot Salsa Wednesdays
Songwriter’s Circle [6pm] Greater Boston Alter-
[9pm/18+/$7] w/ DJ Rob Suave
Open Mic Hosted by Middle East Corner native Comedy Festival [8:30pm/$10-$12]
Bryan Murphy of the Harpers Ferry Belly Dance w/ Live feat. Shane Mauss, The
Shills [9pm/21+] Ace Enders w/ Good Band [9:30pm/free] Walsh Brothers, Robby
CD reviewS
From the department of the inevitable: “We are proud to announce that Tiësto has teamed up with
the game developer Activision and their latest project DJ Hero … ‘This is a great way to introduce
people into DJing,’” says Tiësto, “‘Maybe they realize it’s not as easy as they think.’” Dude, shut up.


RELEASE | 12.9.08 RELEASE | 11.24.08

Any music critic or magazine who already submit- For ravers, “chill out” music is what you play after
ted their best of 2008 is going to have egg on their you’ve stayed up all night, the sun is rising and
collective face in the years to come. There’s little whatever drugs you’ve ingested are wearing off.
doubt this debut from New Zealand’s Phillipa “Pip” The idea is that ambient music is like a cleansing
Brown will go down as one of the best releases of mechanism, an aural Q-Tip to squeegee out what-
2008. It’s not simply her reinvention of ’80s “happy ever pulsing beat remnants are still glomming onto
sad” pop, and it’s not her sexy Stevie Nicks style. your inner ear. Fennesz is like that, but the drugs are
It’s not the hipster drawl or the innumerable qual- of the everyday variety (caffeine, say) and the beat
ity remixes. It’s the songwriting. While the ass-end is the regular detritus that fills our craniums as we
of US culture gobbles up Britney repeating “Wom- walk through the day. “The Colour of Three” sounds
anizer” 700 times, Brown is writing arena-worthy like a harmonium from the planet Pluto, while the
anthems and legitimate songs. I am sure the office melody you can hear through the static wall of
is sick to death of me playing “My Delirium,” but I, “Glide” (as played by drone cohort Rosy Parlane)
for one, can’t get enough of it. As each verse passes sounds like heaven. Christian Fennesz, of Austria, is
by, the wait for the brilliant chorus seems to get a modern composer like none other. Whether it’s
longer. The video is the shit, too. All 12 songs are his masterpiece Endless Summer or “Vacuum” here,
like that. An excellent album. [DAVID DAY] he has the ability to make the celestial our own.


RELEASE | 12.9.08 RELEASE | 11.11.08

As a tremendous Pavement fan in college, I practi- The usually reliable DFA Records teams up with
cally became a deadhead (asphalt-face?) when I the hit-or-miss slow-brow disco label Rong Music
followed them on a short Midwestern tour, and I and the results are just as mixed. I’m not sure who
am all for supporting indie labels like Matador. But would take to the lead single “Never Hear Surf Mu-
after buying the deluxe Wowee Zowee, I’m starting sic Again,” or its odd Barfly Mix, but I do know re-
to tire of this nostalgia trip. “Transport Is Arranged” edit king Greg Wilson can make any track hum like
sounds better than ever, but hearing unreleased a newly tuned Aston Martin. He turns the strange,
songs just feels like a waste and is even effecting clattering “Grumpy” into a smooth dancefloor
my once-pristine devotion to these NoCal boys. machine. [ADA HUTCHINSON]
Leave them unreleased much? [DAVID DAY]


– RELEASE | 11.2.08 RELEASE | 9.30.08

More from the fish about her fishbowl. The themes When Etheridge’s growl barrels into
are tired and the melodies are snoring. And lyrics? “Christmas (Baby Please Come
“I don’t care / I don’t care / I don’t care / I don’t Home)” and she takes in that
care.” I feel sorry for people who think this is good. sexy, clenched inhale, it gives me
exit polls ADULT Classifieds Comics comedy WORDS arts movies Music A + E dig this Eats + drinks gift guide commerce News + features us Letters table of contents


table of contents

Award-winning play turns to movie mush

News + features


f I were clever, I’d write an entire The opening scenes set the table,
review of this film that left you taking us behind the curtain of an aver-

gift guide
wondering what my true opinion age Sunday service, starting with a child
of it was. Doubt is supposed to be waking up and hurrying to the church for
about just that—not knowing if an his altar boy duties. The camera gradu-

Eats + drinks
accused priest is diddling one of his altar ally takes in a number of viewpoints,
boys, and using that to question orga- cutting between churchgoers chatting
nized religion. The play is known for its as they head down the city streets, and
even-handedness, but the film unsubtly Flynn, preparing to give his sermon. As
games the outcome. the reverend speaks about doubt and

dig this
It’s hard to imagine going wrong freedom of dissent, Sister Aloysius polices
with Philip Seymour Hoffman and the pews, striking terror into the hearts

A + E
Meryl Streep, two of the most deservedly of snoozing tykes. Shanley smoothly
decorated thespians in the biz. Hoffman contrasts the sound and the visuals, using

plays Father Brendan Flynn, a priest with a handheld cam for Streep and a static
a lively sense of humor and intensity for shot of Hoffman, constantly switching the

living who, in a sign of the times, finds two viewpoints as the sermon continues,
himself breaking away from the stodgy emphasizing the divide between the main
Catholic mindset. Streep is Sister Aloysius protagonists that will become the center-

Beauvier, a brutal disciplinarian nun with piece of the film. As long as the tone is subtle, Doubt NAMBLing the only black kid in school.
works. Shanley does 1964 so well, with A taut meeting ensues in Sister Aloy-

a Brooklyn accent who, as school principal, Amy Adams enters as Sister James, one
is chief enforcer of the status quo. All that of the teaching nuns, looking effectively such perfectly realized clothes, cars and sius’ office, and Shanley drives home his
screenwriter/playwright/director John down-to-earth (and far from Enchanted). details like transistor radios and authen- characters’ emotional states by tilting

Patrick Shanley really had to do was hand As the kids line up outside the school, one tic telephones, you almost believe the the camera to the side, à la the Batman
them his script, set up a camera and get of them is singled out by Aloysius, and film was actually shot back then. But as TV series. Bad move. It undercuts the
his ass out of their way. Shanley, however, Flynn remarks to Sister James: “The dragon the plot kicks in, Shanley’s creditability slow-motion fireworks going on between

seems ultimately incapable of doing that. is hungry,” hinting of the conflict to come. erodes. Sister James accuses Flynn of the actors. Sister Aloysius talks to the
kid’s mother (Viola Davis), and we find

out he’s gay and his father beats him. We
also find out that when she cries, a line
of mucous drops out of her nose toward
her mouth, and Shanley features it in

bracing close-ups.
In the end, this delicate web is woven

exit polls
for naught, as Shanley’s heavy editorializ-
ing makes us certain of what happened,
I’m afraid this instead of keeping the outcome up in
isn’t the Robert the air, leaving me to doubt whether 43
Downey Jr. movie
trailer in Tropic Shanley should have ever directed his
Thunder. own screenplay.

OPENS | 12.12.08
CADILLAC RECORDS theater directory

A meaningful, musical biopic AMC Chestnut Hill T service: Coolidge
27 Boylston St., Corner (Green Line C
Chestnut Hill Branch), Harvard Ave.
REVIEW BY HARRY VAUGHN You were right, Godzilla 617.277.2500 (Green Line B Branch);
doesn’t have any balls. Screens: 5 Bus Route 66]
[Prices: $9.25 GA;
$8.25 students; $7.25 Entertainment
Music biopic standards have been low- seniors & matinees; Cinemas Fresh Pond
$6.25 children. 168 Alewife Brook
ered in recent years due to the success of CADILLAC RECORDS Nearby T service: Parkway, Cambridge
both Ray and Walk the Line, two prestige- RATED | R Chestnut Hill (Green 617.661.2900
oriented studio films. Coated with family NOW SHOWING | AMC LOEWS Line D Branch); Bus Screens: 5
Routes 60, 51] [Prices: $8.75 GA;
values and crowd-pleasing rhythms, both BOSTON COMMON, REGAL
$5.75 seniors, children
movies use star power and loose truths FENWAY 13, KENDALL SQUARE AMC Loews Boston & matinees. Nearby
to broadly categorize the music, the prob- CINEMA, AMC BRAINTREE Common T service: Alewife
175 Tremont St., Bos- Station (Red Line); Bus
lems and the personas within. They may ton 617.423.5801 Route 83]
be entertaining, but they never developed Screens: 12
[Prices: $10 GA; $9
into something of lasting insight. students; $8 seniors
Harvard Film Archive
24 Quincy St., Har-
It’s a relief that Cadillac Records, by & matinees; $7 vard University, Cam-
little-known film director Darnell Martin, Shot with an unassuming attention her narration jumps too fast at too many
children. Nearby T ser- bridge 617.495.4700
vice: Boylston (Green
manages to break those constraints. In to detail, Records doesn’t feel like a history pivotal moments, leaving significant plot Line, Silver Line), Park
Screens: 1
[Prices: $8 GA; $6
Records, the lives of Muddy Waters (Jeffrey lesson as much as it does an immersion. lines—like Etta James’ drug addiction—
Street (Green Line, seniors & students.
Red Line), Chinatown
Wright), Little Walter (Columbus Short), Martin’s approach is deeply authentic and unexplored and incomplete. (Orange Line, Silver
Nearby T service: Har-
Willie Dixon (Cedric the Entertainer), vard Station (Red Line);
her ensemble of actors—each of whom The overall craft, however, trumps any Line); Bus Route 43]
Bus Routes 1, 69, 86]
Chuck Berry (Mos Def) and Etta James envelop themselves into the bodies and narrative flaws. Unlike Ray and Walk the AMC Loews Harvard
(Beyoncé Knowles) are told from the souls of their characters—lends the film a Line, the film sits with its characters and Square
Kendall Square
perspective of Leonard Chess (Adrien piercing sense of drama. their lives through the angry, heartbreak-
10 Church St., Cam-
1 Kendall Sq., Cam-
bridge 617.864.4580
Brody), a small-town producer who, in The structure of the story is what ing and joyful riffs of their music. This is Screens: 5 bridge 617.499.1996
1947 along with his brother, created the hurts the production the most. Martin what music biopics are supposed to do, [Prices: $9.25 GA; Screens: 9
[Prices: $9.25 GA; $7
famous Chess Records studio in the South elicits excellent turns from her cast, (espe- and it is in this essential vein that Cadillac
$8.25 students; $7.25
seniors, children &
seniors & matinees;
Side of Chicago. cially Wright, Mos Def and Knowles), but Records succeeds. $6.25 children. matinees. Nearby T
Nearby T service: service: Kendall Sta-
Harvard Station (Red tion (Red Line)]
Line); Bus Routes 1,
71-75, 77-78, 96] Museum of Fine Arts
465 Huntington Ave.,
A movie about the only people that Boston 617.369.3907
Brattle Theatre
can make comic book geeks cool. 40 Brattle St., Cam- Screens: 1
bridge 617.876.6837 [Prices: $9 GA; $8
Screens: 1 seniors, children, &
[Prices: $9.50 GA; students; $7 matinees
HELVETICA $7.50 students & for GA; $6 matinees
SATURDAY 12.13.08 matinees; $6.50 for seniors, children
seniors & children. & students. Nearby T
RABB LECTURE HALL Nearby T service: service: MFA (Green
BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY Harvard Station (Red Line E Branch); Bus
700 BOYLSTON ST., BOSTON Line); Bus Routes 1, Routes 39, 47]
2PM/FREE 66, 71, 73, 86]
Regal Fenway
BPL.ORG 204 Mass. Ave., Arling- 201 Brookline Ave.,
HELVECTICAFILM.COM ton 781.648.4340 Boston 617.424.6111
Screens: 6 Screens: 13
[Prices: $7 GA; $6.50 [Prices: $10 GA; $8
Helvetica students; $5 children
before 6pm, seniors
students & matinees;
$7.75 seniors; $7 chil-
& matinees. Nearby dren. Nearby T service:
Free documentary screening demonstrates the power of font T service: Bus Routes
77, 87, 350]
Kenmore (Green Line),
Fenway (Green Line D
Branch); Bus Routes 8,
Circle Cinemas 60, 65, 47]
REVIEW By Carrigan Denny-Brown 399 Chestnut Hill Ave.,
Brookline 617.566.4040 Showcase Cinemas
Screens: 7 Revere
[Prices: $9.75 GA; 565 Squire Rd., Revere
Stare at that American Apparel ad a little way we think, act and organize ourselves. and typographers as Neville Brody and $7.25 seniors, children 781.286.1660
longer—no, not at those, look at the font. And as much as the words themselves are Michael Bierut describe their art form & matinees. Nearby Screens: 20
T service: Reservoir [Prices: $10 GA; $7.25
It’s Helvetica, a typeface that is bold, important, the medium by which we are and the power of a single font. And even (Green Line D Branch), seniors, children &
– precise, and, like the babe in the ad, it’s on told where we are and where we should the tasteless heathens will appreciate the Cleveland Circle matinees. Nearby T
(Green Line C Branch),
every street corner. However, the story of aspire to go is our silent negotiator. excellent cinematography and soundtrack,
17 service: Bus Routes 119,
Chestnut Hill Ave.
08 411, 426, 428-429]
Helvetica and how it came to be so “used” Given that Helvetica is the font we most which includes Caribou, El Ten Eleven and (Green Line B Branch);
isn’t what you think; in fact, it’s a story see on our street signs, advertisements Motohiro Nakashima. In photo-like, single Bus Routes 51, 86]

Somerville Theatre
about the tides of war, radical idealism and corporate slogans, it’s no wonder shots, we see text in a new way—through Coolidge Corner 55 Davis Sq., Somer-
ville 617.625.5700
and the neutral Swiss. that Helvetica has raised controversy, a designer’s expert lens, as it’s slathered on Theatre
Screens: 5
290 Harvard St.,
In the documentary film Helvetica, the being labeled by some as the typeface of signs, walls and windows in over 50 cities Brookline 617.734.2500 [Prices: $7 GA; $6.50
origins and motivations of the promiscu- capitalism, and by others as the typeface worldwide. Ambient music plays and the Screens: 4 students; $5 children
before 6pm, seniors
44 ous font are brought to light, and I prom- of socialism. skeptical viewer is mysteriously convinced [Prices: $9.50 GA; $7.50
& matinees. Nearby T
seniors & children
ise, you have never heard design geeks Being somewhat of a font nerd myself, by the sensitivities of the distances be- (Fri-Sun); $6.50 seniors service: Davis Station
speak so lustily about anything. Design is I was truly moved by the poetic and tween letters. & children (Mon-Thu); (Red Line); Bus Routes
$6 members; $7.50 87, 88, 90, 94, 96]
a universal language that influences the inspiring way that such famous designers Helvetica speaks. matinees. Nearby
table of contents

HEAD As hip-hop stars go, shit, as anything anywhere ever goes, Ol’ Dirty
Bastard was one of a kind. Up until now, a categorical biography This elegant and well-designed documentary book is in fact four

of the amazing MC was missing from my bookshelf. I’m happy to books in one. Although the inclusion of Mia Kirschner as author
say Jamie Lowe, a New York writer with a litany of articles, has undoubtedly grabbed everyone’s attention, they were all pleasantly

firmly stuck the landing with this one. From Wu-Tang MCs to ODB’s surprised, from the Village Voice on down to Elle. Thanks to her
impassioned writing, and her design of AdBusters’ own Simons and

News + features
parental units, as well as managers and friends, Lowe justly weaves
a convoluted web of race, mental illness and, of course, the MC’s Shoebridge, we’re clearly informed of differentiating plights from
agile ability to turn a phrase into a catchphrase. With more innate around the world. In one book, we are taken to a Chechen refugee
knowledge than even I expected, Russell Jones (or “Rusty,” to his camp in Ingushetia, Russia; another transports us to the ethnic
moms) survives as both an enigma and legend, and Lowe’s heartfelt cleansing in Burma. The effects of globalization in Mexico and AIDS
tome wraps it all up with dexterous diligence. [BRENT T. INGRAM] in Malawi round out this upsetting travelogue. Herself a granddaugh-

ter of the Holocaust, Kirschner would seize the imagination of any
young mind, her rowr-inducing appearances in the L Word, Exotica
and others notwithstanding. [ADA HITCHINSON]

gift guide
COMEDY LOVER Never mind the queen, God save the Bean! A neatly dressed yet an- [video game] NINJATOWN | SOUTHPEAK INTERACTIVE
noyingly awkward character, Mr. Bean’s antics always manage to find FOR THE NINTENDO DS | $29.99

Eats + drinks
some way to gracefully (or gracelessly) win me over. Easily one of my DS-ADLLED In the ’80s, young Americans had a bloodlust for all things ninja.
favorite Brits—sandwiched between Beckham and Craig—Atkinson’s I’ve always hated the damn things, though. I didn’t expect much
brainchild has become an iconic figure in British comedy while creat- out of Ninjatown, then, which looked like a rip-off of Desktop
ing an international cult following. Just in time for the holidays, Mr. Tower Defense propped up with tired ninja jokes. But Ninjatown’s

dig this
Bean: The Ultimate Collection is a seven-disc box set complete with actually pretty awesome—an adorable and genuinely funny game
the entire Mr. Bean TV series, Bean: The Movie, Mr. Bean’s Holiday for all ages. The ninjas of Ninjatown are like Smurfs, little critters
and Mr. Bean: The Animated Series. If this isn’t enough (and for fans it protected by a white-whiskered patriarch called Ol’ Master Ninja.

A + E
never, ever is), we’re treated to deleted scenes, a mind-blowing music Through him, players oversee the defense of Ninjatown from
video and glimpses into what it took to create such brilliance. With invading demons by building various fortifications. Like most tower

hours of fun, you too can live the Bean. [JENNIFER CHOI] defense games, Ninjatown is more about strategy, although there
are a few special powers that make use of the DS touch-screen

and microphone. Difficulty escalates nicely, and levels continually
introduce new game-play mechanics, perfect for both seasoned
and occasional gamers. [GARRETT MARTIN]


PARTYING POPS Dads with too-large record collections will recognize Domenic
Priore as the man who compiled Look! Listen! Vibrate! SMiLE!, the HBO VIDEO | $179.97

first scholarly text dedicated to the mysteries of The Beach Boys’
OBSESSED, VULGAR With the look of Tombstone, the dramatic ambitions of Shake-
lost album. Priore and co-author Brian Chidester have amassed their GRAMPS speare (no joke—the dialogue segues in and out of iambic pentam-
knowledge into a book that traces not only surfing itself but also it’s eter) and more fucks per minute than a season of The Osbournes,

metaphor for the Beats, a movement that eventually represented Deadwood comes at you like a finely tooled boot to the face.
’60s counterculture. Pop Surf Culture is both coffee table book and Although something of an anomaly, Deadwood reinvented how

textbook, with a stunning collection of rare relics and photographs. the drama of the American West could be done and showed that
Sixties pop obsessives will be rewarded with more than enough everything’s better when you can be profane and profound. With
connections and recommendations to make the book pay for itself 23 discs in all, Deadwood is ready to kick the ass of any other show
(did you know that before Deep Throat, Carol Connors was a surf you have on the DVD shelf. Much like rye whiskey, the show might

rock queen?). Film fans will likewise find a favorable assessment of be a little harsh at first, but if you just keep at it, you find some-
the beach movie genre. With plenty of history and eye candy, Pop thing that ultimately reveals itself as rich and complex. “Merry

exit polls
Surf Culture wins. [JONATHAN DONALDSON] motherfucking Christmas, cocksucker.” [JARROD ANNIS]

LIONS GATE | $279.98
NINTENDO, MICROSOFT, SONY | VARIOUS PRICES The look on my mom’s face is easily worth the cashola one would
Not sure what to get that grubby, Cheetos-encrusted gamer? spend on this overwhelmingly complete version of the most whole-
How about prepaid gift cards? Some of the best games of 2008 some TV show of all time. In the ’70s, a decade of debauchery,
aren’t available in stores, but distributed digitally and download- sexual revolution and key parties, Laura Ingalls Wilder’s wholesome
able straight to the console, including top titles like World of Goo time-machine transported my dear mother once a week to an era
on the Wii, Braid and Geometry Wars II for the 360, and PixelJunk when the unknown American frontier depended on religious myth to
Eden for the PS3. All it takes is an internet connection and a credit maintain order (Michael Landon was probably a sex god, too). Plus,
card, or one of these gift cards. With a Wii Point card, your gamer with the election of Barack Obama, she’ll now have something else
buddy can download new WiiWare games or classics through the to watch besides the bilious Fox News Channel. All nine seasons are
Virtual Console. Microsoft Points and PlayStation Network cards here, as are the three made-for-TV movies and seven-plus hours
can pay for not just new games, but additional content for disc- of bonus material. I won’t even mind spending the rest of the day
based standards. Or get them a few crates of Mountain Dew from showing her how to work the DVD player. I can already hear her
Sam’s Club instead. [GARRET MARTIN] exclaim: “Good gracious!” [DAVID DAY]
Drawing inspiration from kids, for a cause



Stella partner and comedy director bros down igers come from Bangladesh, 826 BOSTON’S ART AUCTION
Siberia, Iran, Afghanistan, FRIDAY 12.12.08
the tigers weigh 660 pounds. […] They 38 NEWBURY ST., BOSTON
can each eat your head,” writes 9-year- 617.442.5400
old Anthony Mejia. He is one of three 826 6PM/FREE
Boston students whose writing is being ROBERTKLEINGALLERY.COM
artistically interpreted by over 50 artists 826BOSTON.ORG
for an upcoming auction to benefit
826 Boston. For those in the dark,
826 Boston is the seventh branch of
826 National, a nonprofit founded
by McSweeney’s editor Dave Eggers.
STELLA Based in Egleston Square, Roxbury,
they work to support and enrich the
THURSDAY 12.11.08
Boston education system by inspiring
kids to write—and write creatively.
617.931.2000 They provide a selection of free
7:30PM/ALL AGES/$29.50 programs for urban youth, ages 6-18,
THEWILBURTHEATRE.COM including daily drop-in tutoring, in-
STELLACOMEDY.COM classroom collaboration with Boston
teachers, volunteer-guided writ-
David Wain may be less recognizable done that differently and shit, I wish I ing workshops and field trips. “The
than his unflappably ironic Stella troupe- could go back. But, from that point on, goal,” says executive director Daniel
mates Michael Showalter and Michael whenever I see it, I can just enjoy it. I’m Johnson, “is to get them really excited
Ian Black, but he’s no less prolific. The always like, “Oh, wow, that was awesome.” about reading and writing.”
creator of’s Wainy Every 826 location is embedded in
Days and co-writer/director of cult favor- That’s interesting, because someone a wacky storefront: The Boring Store
ites present (Wet Hot American Summer) like Woody Allen famously never in Chicago, Seattle’s Space Travel Sup-

james jean
and future (The Ten, Role Models), Wain re-watches his old movies. ply Store and so on. In our case, it’s
brings laughter to the masses with To some degree, I understand that, because the Greater Boston Bigfoot Research
Black and Showalter (joined by Eugene you get so sick of it, and then you’re done Institute, a completely imaginary
Mirman in Boston) for a brief tour. with it and you can’t change it. I just saw think tank dedicated to researching the Ode to a Tree: a pen and ink drawing of
Wet Hot for the first time in many, many bipedal cryptids; the profits of the store a tall tree. Most of the tree is dark gray,
years at a screening in Los Angeles, and go toward the writing and tutoring the shadow contrasted in black ink. The
In his stand-up, Showalter reads the I have to say I loved it. To be separated center in the back room. “It also serves composition mimics the relationship
New York Times’ strangely personal from all of the headaches and sweat you as a big source of inspiration for the between the Spanish and English used
negative review of Stella. Did those went through—in Wet Hot’s case, for four students,” says Johnson. in Sophia’s poem.
kinds of reactions confuse you? years—and to be able to see it as not just a In addition to Mejia’s piece, an il- In addition to the prints, 25 pieces by
We definitely got some of those hostile- movie but a movie that came through your lustrated broadside of 9-year-old Sophia contemporary artists (Kiki Smith, Jane
type reviews. Wet Hot, The State, The brain and soul—it’s a great experience. Madden’s Ode to a Tree, a half-English, Marsching, Michael Mazur and more)
Ten and Stella all got a lot of “You’ve half-Spanish poem penned during an have been donated for the auction.
personally offended this critic, and I’m Stella did an Obama benefit show. 826 poetry workshop, will be auctioned. James Jean’s Maze creates a dreamy
angry at you guys for being so unfunny.” Is there anything in his victory that Also up for auction is an excerpt from pop-surrealist atmosphere, where a
It’s particularly dumbfounding for us, you’d like to take credit for? Chiomo Nwaoha’s essay, A Bright and boy chases a hula hoop in the distance
because we really thought we were just New York and Pennsylvania at the most. Sunny Day, included in I Wish They and his fairy-tale sister watches him,
doing comedy. Some people are not inter- There were other factors, but if you look Would Have Asked Me, the 826 anthol- leaning on a hula hoop constructed in
ested in seeing what a lot of our comedy at what the New York Times said and a ogy of writing done by students at the the pattern of a labyrinth. The dream-
is, which is sort of profoundly, purposely lot of what the more reputable analysts English High School in Jamaica Plain. like depiction of childhood combined
unfunny. For some reason, we elicit true, are saying, the Stella support is what “It’s a great change to walk into an with the symbolism of the labyrinth

12 genuine hostility among some critics, swung Pennsylvania. after-school space where the kids are supporting the girl feed into the concept
08 and then the other half of the critics are happy to be there,” said Robert daVies, of childhood as a dream, leaning on a
praising it as funny, groundbreaking What’s the first issue Obama founder of Rope-a-Dope Press, a pub- bigger dream—the future, where walls

and innovative. I’d rather be there than should tackle? lishing collaborative based in Southie are perpetually hit and new routes taken,
everyone saying it was OK. We want to see him promoting corn dogs that’s collaborating with 826 to produce dead ends being sometimes unavoidable.
more. A lot of people don’t eat corn dogs; limited-edition broadsides. Maze is extremely appropriate for
Can you enjoy your old work, or are a lot of people who eat corn dogs claim The broadsides are illustrated in 826, an organization that is trying to
you always evaluating it? not to like them. I think we need to work response to the students’ writings. minimize dead ends and empower the
46 I am particularly not like that. When we’re on both the quality, and the distribu- “Photography, charcoal, lots of different next generation through communica-
finishing something and I’m seeing it for tion of corn dogs. They need to be more mediums will be used to respond,” says tion and self-expression.
the first time, then I’m watching all the readily available. I think they should be at Johnson. Rope-a-Dope’s daVies, also an
decisions, thinking, Oh, we could have every Starbucks. artist, illustrated a response to Madden’s
table of contents
arts, performing arts, comedy + words

WORDS COMEDY possibly strange, guests Fri 12.5-Sun 1.3 [Fri &
[7:30pm/21+/$20] Sat 8pm, Sun 12.21 &

Brookline Booksmith Comedy Studio Sat 12.13 The Walsh Sun 12.28 4pm]
279 Harvard St., Brook- Harvard Square Brothers w/ special,
line. 617.566.6660. 1238 Mass. Ave., Cam- possibly strange, guests Huntington Theatre/

us bridge. 617.661.6507. [7:30pm/21+/$20] Boston Center for
Thu 12.11 Stephen Wed 12.17 The the Arts

News + features
Pimpare and Howard Wed 12.10 Fresh Faces Lincoln Exhibit w/Jon 527 Tremont St., Boston.
Zinn, A People’s History of w/ Kevin Anglin, Shaun Lincoln, Chris Coxen 617.266.0800.
Poverty in America [7pm] Bedgood, PJ Brown, Rob [7:30pm/21+/$10]
Tue 12.16 M.T. Ander- Creen, et al [8pm/$8] Lea DeLaria [$25]
son, The Astonishing Life Thu 12.11 The Thursday Improv Asylum Thu 12.11-Sat 12.13
of Octavian Nothing, Show! [8pm/$8] 216 Hanover St., Boston. [schedule varies]
Traitor to the Nation, Fri 12.12 Ken Reid 617.263.6887.

Volume II: The Kingdom hosts w/ Alvin David, American Repertory
on the Waves and Deb Mike Lemme, Drew Thu 12.11 Free Pasta Theatre
Olin Unferth, Vacation Spangler, Steve Macone, Night [7pm/free], Main 64 Brattle St., Harvard Sq.,
[7pm] et al [8pm/$10] Stage Show [8pm/$10- Cambridge. 617.547.8300.
Sat 12.13 Nate John- $20], Free Improv Set

gift guide
Cantab Lounge son, Steve Macone, Brian [9:45pm/free] Largo Desolato [$5,
(Downstairs) Moote, Tony Maschetto, Fri 12.12 Main Stage $10]
738 Mass. Ave., Central et al [8pm/$10] Show [8pm, 10pm/$10- Fri 12.5-Sat 12.13 [Thu-
Sq., Cambridge. Sun 12.14 The Shaun $20] Sun 7:30pm]
617.354.2685. Bedgood Show [8pm/$8] Sat 12.13 Main Stage

Eats + drinks Show [8pm, 10pm/$18- Central Square Theatre
Tue 12.16 Mystery
Wed 12.10 Boston $20], Midnight Show 450 Mass. Ave., Central Sq.,
Lounge [8pm/$10]
Poetry Slam w/ Max [12am/$10] Cambridge. 617.576.9278.
Wed 12.17 Dan Crohn,
Kessler [8pm/18+/$3] Wed 12.10 Vanity Proj-
Mike Del Ilano, Andrew
Wed 12.17 Boston Po- ect [8pm/$7.50-$15] Alice’s Adventures Un-
Raymond Durson, Steve
etry Slam w/ Eric Darby derground [$18-$32]

dig this
Macone, et al [8pm/$8]
[8pm/18+/$3] Wilbur Theatre Thu 12.4-Sun 12.28
Dick’s Beantown 106 Boylston St., [schedule varies]
Coolidge Corner Theatre Comedy Vault at Boston. 617.423.4008.
Lyric Stage Company

A + E
290 Harvard St., Brook- Remington’s Restaurant
line. 617.734.2500. Wed 12.10 NESN 140 Clarendon St.,
124 Boylston St., Comedy All Stars Boston. 617.585.5678.
Boston. 617.574.9697.

Wed 12.10 Christopher [7:30pm/free]
Kimball, Jack Bishop, Thu 12.11 Stella The Mystery of Irma
Thu 12.11 The
Becky Hays and Test [7:30pm/$29.50] Vep [$25-$50]
Chris Zito Show

Kitchen Director Erin Fri 11.28-Sun 12.21
McMurrer, America’s Test THEATER [schedule varies]
Fri 12.12 Chris Zito,
Kitchen Family Baking Orlando Baxter and

Book [6pm/$5] Citi Performing Arts New Repertory Theatre
friends [9pm/21+/$20]
Center Wang Theatre 321 Arsenal St., Water-
Sat 12.13 Chris town. 617.923.8487.

Harvard Book Store Zito, Orlando Baxter 270 Tremont St.,
1256 Mass. Ave., Boston. 617.482.9393.
and friends [8pm,
Harvard Sq., Cambridge. Charles Dickens’ A
617.661.1515. Dr. Suess’ How The Christmas Carol [$35-

Sun 12.14 Carolyn $55] Plummer hosts Boston’s Grinch Stole Christmas!
Wed 12.17 The The Musical [$28-$78] Sun 12.14-Sun 12.28
Longest Open Mic [schedule varies]
Philosophy Café, Soul [9pm/21+/$12] Wed 11.26-Sun 12.28
The Santaland Diaries

vs. Cybernetics: Who Mon 12.15 Kevin [Tue 7:30pm; Wed
are you, essentially? 11:30am & 7:30pm; Thu [$35-$55]
Knox Comedy Showcase Wed 12.17-Sun 1.4
[7:30pm] [8:30pm/21+/$12] 7:30pm; Fri 5pm & 8pm;
Sat 11am, 2pm, 5pm & [schedule varies]

Tue 12.16 Jim Lau-
Lizard Lounge letta Comedy Showcase 8pm; Sun 11am, 2pm
1667 Mass. Ave., Cam- Symphony Hall
[8:30pm/21+/$12] & 5pm]
bridge. 617.547.0759. 301 Mass. Ave., Boston. Boston Playwrights 617.266.1492.
Mottley’s Comedy Club Boston’s Holiday Pops!
Sun 12.14 Lizard Theatre

61 Chatham St., Boston. [$27-$122]
Lounge Poetry Night 617.427.0093. 949 Comm. Ave.,
feat. The Jeff Robinson Boston. 866.811.4111. Thu 12.11-Wed 12.31 [Tue-Sat 8pm]
Trio [8pm/21+/$5]

exit polls
Wed 12.10 The
Lincoln Exhibit w/ Jon Bella Muerte [$12-$15]
Porter Square Books Zero Arrow Theatre
Lincoln, Chris Coxen, Fri 12.5-Sat 12.13 [8pm]
25 White St., Porter Sq., Mass. Ave. and Arrow St.,
Robbie Roadsteamer Harvard Sq., Cambridge.
Cambridge. 617.491.2220. [7:30pm/21+/$10] Gold Dust Orphans at Theater Machine 617.547.8300. zeroar- 47
Thu 12.11 Su-
Sun 12.14 Knit One, pershow w/ Dan 1256 Boylston St.,
Read Too [1pm] Boston. 617.266.8511. Aurelia’s Oratorio
Sally, Andy Ofiesh [$25-$79]
All About Christmas Fri 11.28-Sun 1.3
Fri 12.12 The Walsh [schedule varies]
Brothers w/ special, Eve [$28, $30]

big red & shiny picks >>

Atlantic Works Gallery On the Street Linga
80 Border St., top floor, The Defining Line Tue 12.2-Sat 12.20 Sat 12.20 [2pm-3pm]
East Boston. atlantic- Mon 12.1-Fri 1.16 Reception: Thu 12.11 MIT List Visual Arts Tufts University Art
12 [5pm-7pm] Center Gallery
Thu 12.4-Sat 1.10 20 Aims St., Cambridge. 40R Talbot Ave., Med-
Kingston Gallery 617.253.4680. listart. ford. 617.627.3094. ase.
Hynes Convention 450 Harrison Ave. #43,
Center: South Rotunda Boston. 617.423.4113. Adel Abdessemed: MFA Thesis Exhibition
Gallery Situation and Practice Thu 12.4-Sun 12.21
900 Boylston St., Simmons College Cu- Sat 10.11-Sun 1.4
Boston. 617.954.3787. ratorial Studies Seminar: Gallery Talk with Mark
marketplace classifieds | comics | savage love

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exit polls ADULT Classifieds Comics comedy WORDS Arts movies Music a + e dig this eats + drinks gift guide commerce News + features us Letters table of contents
the thinking ape blues | mark poutenis |


THINK | keith knight |




medical studies

exit polls ADULT Classifieds Comics comedy WORDS Arts movies Music a + e dig this eats + drinks gift guide commerce News + features us Letters table of contents
savage love


I am obsessed with my girlfriend sitting on latex harness that straps a dildo to your in theory, make you a dildo
my face, so I can eat her out while my nose chin and looks just as ridiculous as it harness that fits comfortably
penetrates her. It drives her crazy as well. I feels.) “But it isn’t hollow, so it couldn’t over your nose. Custom work
am wondering if you have heard of a dildo be worn comfortably over the nose,” he is expensive, of course. “But no
that could be mounted on my face, specifi- says. And finding something that fits one said dreams came cheap,”
cally on my nose, so that I penetrate her comfortably over your nose is going to be says Cory.
more deeply while she sits on my face and I your biggest problem. But if you’re going to go
lick her clit? Basically, I want her to be able “It would need to be hollow,” explains the custom-made route, SFD,
to really ride my face while I lick her clit. Cory, “but it would need enough heft such I think you might have better
-Strange Fantasy Dude that it wouldn’t be constantly buckling luck with a custom-made
and hitting you in the mouth or between hood. They’re designed to be
“Sadly, there’s no out-of-the-box solution the eyes. The tricky thing is that the nose worn over the nose, and most
I can recommend,” says Cory Silverberg is so close to the eyes, so anything with have mouth openings. You
of Come As You Are, Toronto’s worker- straps might dig in or at least go over the could easily have one made
their existences to booze, emotional
owned-and-operated sex shop. “There are eyes in an uncomfortable way.” with a wider mouth opening and an
vulnerability and a little well-timed,
harnesses that are meant to strap on to the So what do you do? extended nosepiece.
well-intentioned manipulation.
head, like the Head-On Harness available at “Get in touch with a good harness “You could also go the Cyrano de
And wherever did you get the idea that But it covers the mouth.” maker and ask if they do custom work,” Bergerac route,” says Cory, “and look into
sex-for-sex’s sake can’t also be affectionate?
So you wouldn’t be able to eat your girl- Cory recommends. “One of my favorites getting a high-quality prosthesis that
friend out with one buckled to your face. is Outlaw Leather in Seattle (outlawse- fits over the nose.” He thinks the folks
I am a straight, 18-year-old girl and a
Cory continues, “And there is the” Outlaw Leather produces lurking at Pinocchia (forums.pinocchia.
college freshman. A couple of months
often-poked-fun-at Accommodator.” (A high-quality dildo harnesses and could, com)—a site for guys into girls with big
ago, I lost my virginity to my first serious
noses—might have some idea where to
boyfriend, and since then we’ve been
get a prosthesis.
having sex several times a day. Appar-
ently we have been a bit too enthusiastic,
I’m a 30-year-old, mildly genderqueer, bi-
because my boyfriend received a note
leaning-het male virgin. I’m not uncom-
from his downstairs neighbors. In crass
fortable around women—pretty much all
and abusive language, they told us to keep
of my friends are women—I don’t really
it down. I was mortified. Post-note, I’ve
have any confidence issues, and I know I’m
been tense and nervous during sex, more
not a prude. But for reasons too compli-
focused on listening for the neighbors
cated to get into here, I just haven’t gotten
than enjoying the act. This is upsetting me
around to screwing anybody yet. I’m wait-
terribly, and I don’t know how to make it
ing for the right person, and it just hasn’t
better. Even if we are both silent, the bed
happened yet. I don’t want to have sex
inevitably squeaks and thumps. There is
with somebody who’s drunk or emotion-
really nowhere else on campus for us to
ally vulnerable, or manipulate anybody,
go (I have three roommates who don’t
and it’s very important to me that sex be
get out much). What should I do? I am so
(among other things) a form of affection
depressed by this situation.
and not isolated sex-for-sex’s sake.
-Loud And Clear
I know I’m the only person who can
answer the question of whether I want to
Go buy the original Broadway cast record-
have sex right now. But do I need to have
ing of Avenue Q. The next time you have
sex right now? Because one day I’m going
sex, blast “You Can Be as Loud as the Hell
to fall in love, and it’s going to get sexual.
12 You Want (When You’re Makin’ Love)” at
10 The message I hear from a lot of people I
08 top volume. When the neighbors complain

respect is that I’m going to pay a price for
about the music, tell them that they can
waiting until then to get laid. Am I? Am I
listen to show tunes or put up with the

probably going to be OK?
noise you guys make when you have

-Virgin At Thirty
sex—their pick.

Yeah, you’ll be OK—but by ruling out
For the full text of this week's
drunks, the emotionally vulnerable and
column, go to DOWN-
the easily manipulated, VAT, you increase
the odds that you’ll remain a virgin for
the rest of your natural life. A lot of very
Joe Newton

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of a lot of very timely deflowerings—owe
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HARD ROCK CAFE, 12.2.08 BILLS LOSS, 12.7.08 Tyler Balliet, Joe Bernardi, Martín
Caballero, Jennifer Cacicio, Jonathan
Donaldson, Debbie Driscoll, Christian
Holland, Ada Hutchinson, Brent T. Ingram,
Why do The Men call themselves Do you dream of Jim Kelly when
Brian E. King, Garrett Martin, Paul
The Men? you go to sleep in your special McMorrow, Bo Moore, Luke O’Neil,
Because boys like to think they’re pajamas? Jenna Scherer, Rob Turbovsky,
Dave Wedge, David Wildman
grown up and call themselves men. I dream of the day the Bills make
interns Jared Annis, Jennifer Choi,
the playoffs again. But I’m at the Patrick Connolly, Alexandra Dednah,
What do you like most about point this year when I say the same Al Deluca, Christine Denning,
826 Boston? phrase: “There’s always next year.” Alexandra Fletcher, Meaghan Ford,
I love writing. I’m in a doctoral Jamie Granoff, Nakia Hill, Kristen
Humbert, Morgan Keenan, Carly
program and I’m a professor so I Oh, does that start now?
Lavoie, Tiffany Mah, Nisha Maxwell,
have to write. I write a lot concern- That’s our favorite phrase in Buffalo. Kate Richi, Lolly Spindler, Lauren
ing art theory and philosophy and There’s talk they’ll move to Toronto. Wiegan, Ben Whelan

Did you see all the memorabilia? aesthetics. You’re a Bills fan, I can tell by When you were 19, you went to
There’s that guitar that’s orange. your pants. Canada to drink. DESIGN
Oh, that’s the logo. What was the most pleasing They’re called Zubaz.
thing about the show tonight? Damn Canadians! Corrupting our creative director Tak Toyoshima
art director Taylor Seidler
What did you like the most? The lights flashed with the beat. They look kind of like pajamas. youth … So you came to the Harp
Designer Scott Murry
I really liked the Polaroid by the That’s why they’re so comfortable. for the game? interns Stephanie Crumley,
bathroom of John and Yoko. It Where’d you get this cool coat? They’re my Sunday pants. I wear This is the official Bills Backers bar. Lillian Ling, Anthony O'Brien

was attention-grabbing, but in a I got it on the Cape. It was mis- them every Sunday, football season These are all Bills fans.
marked. It had handwritten tags
mild way. or not. I also wore them to class BUSINESS + ADVERTISING
and they wrote $24 instead of $42. every single day in college. I went to That makes a lot of sense to these
How’d you like to be in a band It was in Chatham. other normal people. They seem sales manager Alex Lappin
school in Buffalo. Senior Account Executive
whose memorabilia is in the really confused.
Graham Wilson
bathroom? Fucking Chatham! Why did you move to Boston? They have free wings at halftime. account executives Antonio
Well, everyone has to go to the And the scarf is Tibetan. And the bag There’s not many jobs in Buffalo. I Aniello, Marc Ellison, J.R. Roach

bathroom, so if your memorabilia is from Florence. have friends out here and there’s I had some wings. Buffalo gave
us Buffalo wings, and for that I
is actually in the bathroom you are some good rugby teams here. I play ADMINISTRATION
all set. If you were behind the door for Boston Women’s Rugby. thank you.
You’re welcome. publisher/editor Jeff Lawrence
in the women’s stall, you’d be in vice president Jim Stanton
great shape. Oh shit!
Vice president/new biz dev
Yeah, back off! Just kidding. From the bottom of my stomach. Alfred Wilson
general manager Amanda Nicholson
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