The President Elect May Day! May Day! May Day! The baboons shriek Hurry! Scurry!

To the nooks Ignore the brooks! So the baboons gather In shady clusters Conniving, conspiring Whispering, muttering We must choose a President Before we are surprised Rocked off our boats By an upstart We can’t have talent Or merit on top Tch! Such bad precedence It would set for the rest of us! “I have more balls than you” Thumping his chest, the biggest one shrieks. “No! Mine are bigger and look How they swing re-aligning Themselves with the wind” Spits the wily one through His yellowed teeth The tiny pesky ones Somersault and squeal in unison. “Don't you understand? The President needs to be tagged To be propped. Don't go by the Girth of accomplishments, It must be a Muslim or a woman, Or another minority, how about A Christian or one from East Or North or the sea.”

The fat one roars drowning the cacophony “How does it matter? Will he or she Have a face, as long as we can paste it and Obliterate what people might think So we can continue our rapes In this sham of democracy.” Collectively, the baboons Form a circle and chorus, “Ring-a-ring-a-poses Hang the citizens, Fly away Ram, Shoot down Rahim Don’t let Michael scream! Ring-a-ring-a-poses Pocket full, we can’t fall down.” The veteran baboon bolstered by four Takes center stage “Worry not, whoever we choose To anoint as king Shall swell his/her head to fit The crown clumsily.” One of the three musketeers Stands aside and snipes “Better still to choose a blind Visually impaired, or a mute, How about a dull one or a retard?” Clutching her brood, the female baboon Plants a sidekick on his ass and mutters “Oh! You ass, all these are majority, They are our kith and kin None of Gandhi’s monkeys Cannot be anointed as kings You never know when one will uncover Its hands to spy, to eavesdrop, to blurt Out our misdeeds.” Day long huddles, Late afternoon skirmishes Post supper brawls Victors rise and fall

At nightfall, Distant cousins, forgotten foes Regional diaspora, Allies off axis Rub each other Sworn enemies, Cain and Abel Krishna and Kans Shia and Sunni Exchange fleas And back slap each other Burying the hatchets Scratching balls and backs Under the moonless night And proclaim “It has to be one of us. Who else can qualify? Reward a loyalist! Reward one We need one With voracious appetite And massive farts That wards others off We need one with hunger in the belly To loot and plunder And one who would willingly Share the booty So no elections for the President We are the elected is enough! Just like the way You do me And I do you Everything in this jungle Is consensual. Rape by Consensus Hay day! Hay! Hay day! For he is one of us! And so said all of us! Gentlemen, please rise! A toast to the new President! A new rubber stamp

To head the executive! Long live the Presidency! A toast to the residency of the Raj! He will pass our bills Pocketsful, we can’t fall down. Hay Day! Hay Day! Hay Day! The baboons form a vicious circle And celebrate! May Day! May Day! May Day! The hapless birds shriek Flapping their wings belatedly As the jubilant baboons Encircle and shake up the trees! Who will save this sinking ship? Shyam 01-04th May 2012

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