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Ex-President Paul Wins 2021 Tour de France
25 July 2021 - Paris From Roy Thomsitt
Former US President Steals the Show in Paris - and Delivers 5000th Baby on the Finish Line
would the 86 year old doctor and pictures taken with the newborn and cyclist fare in the gruelling Tour de her mother. France?
The Tour de France Takes an Unexpected Turn
The Tour de France Baby Boom
The 2021 Tour de France will be Former American President Dr Ron remembered for much more than a Paul yesterday won an historic and cycle race. That started to become unforgettable Tour de France. Never evident in Stage 1, when an anxious Before Stage 3 had started, a retired auditor from the now defunct before has such drama unfolded on gendarme stepped from roadside duties to flag down the leading pack Federal Reserve came up with a the Champs-Élysées in front of so of cyclists. statistic that was to transform the many Parisian eyes. rest of the race. He announced that There had been much speculation as That leading pack included Dr Ron Dr Paul had, to date, delivered 4935 Paul. The reason the gendarme had early as 2019 as to what President babies including those from Stages 1 Paul would do once his second term flagged them down? A young female and 2. Just 65 to go to reach 5000. came to an end in January 2021. Few spectator, in deep labor, was close to would have guessed that he would be giving birth. Could the good doctor The story gripped the nation and within days, the world was hooked preparing to enter the 2021 Tour de provide assistance s'il vous plait? too. Could the former president France, the world's greatest cycle Without a thought of his race race. position, the former president pulled deliver his 5000th baby during the Tour de France with 18 stages to go? Few people around the world would his bike to the side of the road and argue with the opinion that President let his professional integrity and The Race Was On Paul was the greatest president the expertise take over. American republic, indeed the world, Dr Paul need not have worried about The Tour de France is always big has ever seen. He transformed an his position in the race. Word spread news during the French summer. Now a new dimension was gripping almost bankrupt, crime ridden, quickly that he was delivering a corrupt and decaying country into baby at the side of the road, and his the nation. The press were going the most prosperous and crime free "competitors" were as excited as the wild. The world watched with increasing intrigue. As the race zone in the world. He ended wars, spectators close by. progressed, journalists from around removed all traces of debt, and Fifteen minutes later a delightful the world, specializing in sports, created a proud again nation that the baby girl was born, and handed to an politics, aging, pediatrics, obstetrics, rest of the world was only too happy adoring and grateful young mother. gynecology and other popular topics, to follow. Dr Paul was allowed into a nearby started to arrive in great numbers Worldwide unity became a given house to clean up, and ten minutes from every continent. that nobody wanted to part from. later the race resumed. What the Life under the Golden Rule became doctor did not see was the rest of the a reality. Peace reigned. But how leading pack clamoring to have their
Would the roadside baby delivery be a one-off event? On the contrary, that was just the beginning. In Stage 2 Dr Paul had to stop no less than 3 times to successfully deliver babies.
A Phenomenon Is Born The usual scene descended over the
It was not just babies being born with the help of Dr Paul. A phenomenon had been born. By the 3rd stage, and more especially the the 4th and 5th stages, the sight of bulging female bellies seemed to become more and more common at the roadside along the Tour de France route.
The doctor's 4998th delivery did not go as smoothly as most, and an anxious crowd looked on silently for 35 minutes before the wail of a newborn pierced the silence. All along the route, there was uproar. Aware of the worldwide interest and Only 2 more to go to reach 5000. potential health risks, race organizers had arranged for a fleet of There was a very long wait until ambulances to stand nearby. Each baby number 4999 arrived, which was a baby girl at about the 100km The births that sometimes followed ambulance was equipped with all that might be needed in an mark. Dr Paul quickly delivered her under the supervision of the, by then, emergency, and included a midwife in a Tour de France record time of 5 yellow jerseyed Dr Paul, would and nurse. Also nearby was a minutes 23 seconds. dominate the news more than the cyclists. Not that the other cyclists ceremonial canon, brought in to be seemed to mind. They were as much fired if a woman near the finish line Everything was set for the grand looked as if the birth of her baby was finale. 20 km to go and one baby caught up in the excitement as needed. Surely fate would not anyone else, and seemed to take it in imminent. disappoint the worldwide audience turns having baby boys named after A special enclosure had been set up of almost 2 billion people. them. for near term pregnant women, and While not every stage of the race more than 100 young women had The spectators in the Champsproduced a new Dr Paul delivery, the taken position before the cyclists Élysées were torn between wanting evidence was becoming increasingly were anywhere near the Champs- the 5000th baby to be born near the clear that near term pregnant women Élysées. Sadly for one 90 year old, a finish line and just wanting it to be were making a special trip to be on firm foam pillow stuffed up her delivered by Dr Paul anywhere along the route of the Tour de France. In blouse failed to convince stewards to the remaining 20 km route. some cases busloads of pregnant allow her into the enclosure. young women arrived from other As the leading pack of cyclists came parts of the country just for the The crowds in Paris were building into view of the finish line, that occasion. quickly even as the 20th and final 5000th baby had still not been By the end of the penultimate stage stage started 120km away. Could Dr delivered. Ahead of the cyclists, the Paul deliver 1 baby every 40 km? ex-president's wife Carol had been of the race, Dr Paul had, amidst a given special permission to ride in a crescendo of worldwide excitement, Almost everyone in the ChampsÉlysées crowd was watching live car. For much of the route she could reached his 4997th delivery. coverage of race progress, and as be seen scribbling away, doubtless 50km passed without a baby making notes for her 15th cookery The Final Stage With 3 delivered, some spectators were book "French Cuisine for Babies To Go starting to wonder whether the final Americans." .....And so yesterday it came to the stage would disappoint. Once approaching the Champsfinal stage of the 2021 Tour de Élysées, however, the former first France. The cycling had long since A flurry of excitement around the Champs-Élysées came at the 59 km lady intently watched the road ahead. been forgotten. The former Even with her full attention, she was American president was already the mark, when the now routine gendarme stepped onto the road with taken aback somewhat by the sound certain winner, but what really arm raised to stop the leading pack. of the canon being fired. The leading mattered was whether he could cars all sped ahead and, with the deliver 3 roadside babies in the final The cyclists screeched to a halt, leaving Dr Paul to detour to the side exception of Carol Paul's car, went stage. of the road. beyond the finish line. Her car pulled
Champs-Élysées yesterday for the race finish. However, there were a few things that were rather different from normal in the final stretch to the winning line.
to the side of the road just before the finish line. The sound of the roaring spectators was deafening. Dr Paul was allowed to pull clear of the pack, Paris's Chief of Police took up the gendarme role and stepped into the road. Could the good doctor provide assistance s'il vous plait? Of course, Dr Paul accepted the honor with a beaming smile. On this occasion the usual delivery silence was forgotten. With more than 100,000 people chanting "push, push, push" the soon to be famous and soon to be a mother young lady could scarcely avoid giving rapid and painless birth to a baby boy. Without pausing to think about cleaning up, the world's favorite expresident remounted his bike and, with the crowd in raptures, crossed the finish line of the 2021 Tour de France. All was not quite over, though. The combined effect of the canon and over 100,000 people chanting "push, push, push" caused no less than 15 women in the enclosure into the birth of their babies. As always willing to lend a hand, Dr Paul returned to personally deliver another 3. The former US president left the Champs-Élysées having delivered his 5003rd baby. Oh, and won the world's premiere cycle race, the 2021 Tour de France. *****************************
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