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INT. OFFICE - DAY A sharp-dressed BUSINESSMAN is sitting behind a desk. A cloud of nasty cigarette smoke is gathering around his head. He coughs a couple of times but tries to keep nodding and smiling while his interlocutor is speaking. MARIO (O.S.) (in harsh and tired voice) ... and every time I look in their eyes, I see only darkness. I jump on their heads and BANG, they’re gone... but their darkness stays with me. You know, when you stare into the abyss, it stares back... and I have stared for much too long. I can’t go back there to look for her. I need her now. Opposite the businessman, sits MARIO, 25, but aged beyond his years, rough beard and unkempt hair. He stubs out a cigarette and immediately lights another one. BUSINESSMAN (tele-advertiser voice) You have come to the right place then! Yes, you can get your princess right now only for a thousand coins. Mario takes out flask and takes a sip, then takes out a bag of big golden coins and tosses it on the table. MARIO Have it. It’s blood money anyway. BUSINESSMAN You won’t regret shopping with us, sir. CUT TO: EXT. AMUSEMENT PARK - SUNSET Mario and THE PRINCESS, a blonde girl in a pink dress, are riding on a Ferris wheel, eating candy-floss, laughing. MARIO Finally together... He lights a cigarette.
PRINCESS I missed you so much... (disapprovingly) When did you start smoking? MARIO (he averts his gaze, lifts the bottle) If you knew the things I’ve seen... Nah, let’s not talk about this. Please, my angel, sing for me like you did on our first night together. PRINCESS Of course, my darling. Mario lays his head on her lap, throws the cigarette away and puts the bottle down. He closes his eyes and an expression of bliss settles on his face. MARIO I feel like I’ve finally woken up from a terribly long nightmare... The Princess smiles at him and then sings... but it is not a heavenly melody that comes out of her mouth. Instead, she is screeching and screaming, out of tune. Mario frowns, opens one eye, looks at her in disbelief. CUT TO: INT. OFFICE - DAY MARIO (annoyed) That thing you sold me is not my Princess! BUSINESSMAN I’m sorry, sir. There seems to have been a misunderstanding of sorts. Unfortunately, we will not be able to refund your money for... MARIO (interrupts him) I don’t want money! I want my Princess!
BUSINESSMAN But of course, what I need to show you is our catalogue. We have a variety of different princesses. The Sweet Princess, The Sexy Princess, The Punk Princess, The Sado-Maso Princess, The Classic Princess... MARIO Her! That’s what my Princess looks like! CUT TO: INT. KITCHEN - DAY Mario and the Princess are sitting at the table. PRINCESS (girlish voice) I love you so much Mario! Mario is looking at the Princess suspiciously. MARIO Darling? PRINCESS Yes, Mario? MARIO Could you cook me that bolognese you used to make for me. PRINCESS Of course, my darling... MARIO And don’t forget your special ingredient! The Princess hugs him. PRINCESS (confidently) I most certainly won’t! (winks at him) I know how you like it... CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER The Princess serves Mario the dish. He smells it suspiciously and tries it. It is all fine but then... Suddenly, Mario starts chocking, he tries to breathe. His throat is burning. He jumps, unconsciously pulls the tablecloth and sends crockery flying crashing to floor. Eventually, he gets to the sink and drinks water from the tap. MARIO Are you trying to kill me, woman? What did you put in it?! PRINCESS (apologetic) The special ingredient, darling. She shows him a Chipotle sauce bottle. CUT TO: INT. OFFICE - DAY Mario, looking extremely frustrated, is walking back and forth. MARIO Look, I’m paying for this. Is it so hard to find my Princess? I don’t want your fucking fakes! I want the Princess I had ten years ago! No one else! BUSINESSMAN Ten years, you say. We don’t normally keep old models but I can get someone to check the storage. MARIO You’d better have her! Mario lights a cigarette, while the businessman is giving instructions to someone on the phone. CUT TO: INT. OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER The door opens and a Princess comes in. Her gaze meets Mario’s.
A magical moment of recognition. It is her. BUSINESSMAN I’ve got to warn you she might be faulty... The blissful Mario does not seem to hear him. He and the Princess lock their hands together and start spinning joyfully. The world goes out of focus. TITLE: 6 BLISSFUL MONTHS LATER INT. KITCHEN - DAY Mario is reading a newspaper. The Princess is washing the dishes. They seem to have grown cold to each other. PRINCESS (indifferently) Mario, the sink is broken. Can you fix it? MARIO I don’t know. PRINCESS What do you mean you don’t know? You’re a plumber aren’t you? Mario sighs and folds the newspaper. CUT TO: INT. KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER Mario is alone in the kitchen, under the sink, trying to fix the pipes. His instruments are scattered around him. MARIO (annoyed) A plumber, she says... He unscrews the wrong nut and spills sewage water all over the floor. The Princess enters the kitchen and gives out a shrill scream. This gives Mario a start, he jerks up and hits his head on the sink.
MARIO (CONT’D) (even more agitated) What are you screaming for? PRINCESS You idiot! Do you know how long it’ll take me to clean this up?! I should’ve called a proper plumber! MARIO Well, I’m sorry! It’s been years since I’ve done this. I’m going to fix it... PRINCESS (angry) NO! Don’t touch anything, you lousy excuse for a plumber... MARIO If I hadn’t spent my life looking for you, you, you ungrateful bitch... She tries to drag him out from below the sink. He fights her. MARIO (CONT’D) I’m gonna fix it! The Princess keeps pulling him. PRINCESS (hysteric) Leave it alone! She slaps him. He hits her with the spanner. MONTAGE: Blood on the wall. The Princess falling to the ground, her eyes lifeless, her forehead bloody. The spanner falling from Mario’s hand. Mario’s confused face. Mario behind bars.
INT. PRISON - ETERNAL NIGHT Mario is sitting on the floor of a dark cell, his arms wrapped around his legs, slowly rocking back and forth. MARIO (mumbling) Oh, woe unto me. I am fortune’s fool... I am fortune’s fool... A noise comes from the dark corridor outside the cell. Mario jumps to his feet. MARIO (CONT’D) (excited) Luigi, brother! He’s come to save me. He comes! He comes! Mario listens intently but there is nothing but silence. MARIO (CONT’D) (disappointed) The fucking Princess! It’s all her fault! But she got what she deserved! (laughs) I spent my life chasing after her! I should’ve known better! I should’ve known I was in love with nothing but a ghost of a thought, a skeleton of a dream. I’ve been a prisoner all my life, chasing stars and mushrooms, and smoke... and a flag that I could never reach... (mocking) Let me out! She’s not dead! She’s in another castle! SHE’S IN ANOTHER CASTLE! Mario gets tired of shouting and whispers to himself. MARIO (CONT’D) They think they can keep Mario behind bars. Think again! Cause Mario has one last trick up his sleeve... Mario takes out a mushroom, looks at it with adoration. MARIO (CONT’D) Yesss... He eats it, turns around and sinks into the darkness of his cell. Super Mario’s main theme kicks in. FADE TO BLACK