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And when you go, run don't walk And when you sing, scream don't talk You

can't cross bridges that you've burned. Hey now, you can't keeping saying endlessly My darling, how long until this affects me? Say hello to good times Trade up for the fast ride We close our eyes while the nickel and dime take the streets completely I, I always could count on futures Funny how I'm nervous still I've always been the easy kill I guess I always will You kill me, you've got some nerve, but can't face your mistakes It's a lie. A kiss with open eyes And she's not breathing back. Anything but bother me. You say that love goes anywhere In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there When you go, I'll let you be But you're killing everything in me No one else will know these lonely dreams No one else will know that part of me I'm still driving away And I'm sorry every day I won't always love these selfish things I won't always live... I won't always love what I'll never have I won't always live in my regrets If I'm hated well it's not my fault I swear Don't call me foolish cause I'm not What would you think of me now, so lucky, so strong, so proud? What s wrong baby, don t they treat you like they should? Beneath the sand with pure intentions. Wanting something, someone to follow. I flee to, I flee to decemberunderground. As you exhale, I breathe in and sink into, The water underground, And I grow pale without you. Feel fine I kissed the lies, Why must they be so kissable?

Watch the stars, Turn you to nothing. Now blush and smile as they whisk you away. One more time seal my breath, I'll feed you the sky. I will show you how. Steal the glamour from death, "I will wait for you." She said, Endlessly. "I will wait for you." So spoke, Misery. Well I'll swallow my pride if you'll stay for the years And please don't tell me that I'm dreaming When all I ever wanted was to dream another sunset with you You changed yourself and i changed me I really didn't see us singing through this Then you screamed the bridge And i cried the verse And our chorus came out unrehearsed And you smiled the whole way through it I guess maybe that's what's worse my teeth chattered rhythms And they were grouped in twos or threes, like a morse code message was sent from me to me. cars on slippery slopes, they're stuck... And the look that you're giving me, it tells me exactly what you are thinking... "this ain't working anymore." If there's no one beside you When your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark I felt so safe in a warming bath Of sunlight Exchanging spit through our sloppy kisses Where the water tastes like perfumes of the docks We're meant symmetrically! And hand in hand we're strolling gorgeously O soaring dove, I'm quite sure this is love... Ma fac ca nu vad, ma fac sa nu cred ce vorbesc Dar cat o sa pot fi asa, cat voi mai putea Sa ma prefac, Odata in plus ti-am mai spus ce nu era de spus Te faci sa nu vezi, te faci ca nu crezi ce vorbesti Iau tot ce visez, Te iau sa visez ! Vous tes si mignon quand vous slurring votre discours

Mais ils ferment la barre et ils veulent que nous partent Lois: So doctor, is Peter healthy? Doctor: My goodness, you'll be dead within a month. Peter: What? Doctor (revealing comic he was reading): Oh, Hagar the Horrible, if you keep up that lifestyle of pillaging and eating giant turkey legs, you'll be dead within a month. Now, onto you. Peter: So, what do you think? Pretty healthy, eh? Doctor: Well, Mr. Griffin, let's take a look at your physical results. Argh! The re's a spider in here. Now, here we go. Mr Griffin, you're going to expire in a month. Peter/Lois: Argh! Doctor: This is your driver's licence, isn't it? Now, unfortunately, I'm afraid you're going to die... Peter: Argh! Doctor: ...when you watch these Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts. Lois: Will you just tell us how Peter's health is?! Doctor: Ah, Mr. Griffin, I'm not quite sure how to say this. Kim Bassinger? Bass singer? Bassinger? But now, onto the cancer. Lois: Oh my goodness! Doctor: You are a Cancer, right? You were born in July? Now onto these test resu lts. My, they're much worse than I thought. Peter/Lois: Oh! Doctor: My son got a D minus on his history test. Now Mr Griffin, that liver's g ot to come out. Lois: What?! Doctor: It's been in the microwave for three minutes, it'll get dry. NowLois: Please, please, we can't take any more schtick.. Please just tell us, is P eter healthy? Doctor: Oh, yeah, he's fine, he's just really fat. Peter - I'm afraid I have some very bad news, your wife's gonna be a vegetable. You're gonna have to bathe her, feed her, and care for her for the rest of your life. Guy - OH MY GOD! Peter - No no no, I'm just kiddin. She's dead. Lois: Honey, what do you say we uh...christen these new sheets, huh? Peter: Why Lois Griffin, you naughty girl. Lois: Hehehe...that's me. Peter: You dirty hustler. Lois: Hehehehe... Peter: You filthy, stinky prostitute. Lois: Aha, ok I get it... Peter: You foul, venereal disease carrying, street walking whore. Lois: Alright, that's enough! Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it's not so much t hat I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore. TELEVISION ANNOUNCER: We now return to the Smurfs... (on television screen) Smurf #1: Hey, did you have a good time last night? Smurf #2: Smurf-tacular! Smurf #1: Yeah, I saw you leave with Smurfette. Smurf #2: Oh man, as soon as we got out of the bar, she started smurfing me. Smurf #1: Shut the Smurf up!

Smurf Smurf Smurf Smurf

#2: #1: #2: #1:

Yeah! Right in the Smurfing parking lot? Smurf-Yeah! Oh! That is freaking Smurf!

Brian: Hola, me llamo es Brian ... Nosotros queremos ir con ustedes.. uhhhh ... Bellboy (Spanish): Hey, that was pretty good, except when you said "me llamo es Brian," you don't need the "es," just me llamo Brian. Brian: Oh, oh you speak English! Bellboy (sigh): No, just that first speech and this one explaining it. Brian: You .... you're kidding me, right? Bellboy (Spanish): Que? Stewie: I want pancakes!! You people understand every language except English! Y o quiero pancakes! Donnez-moi pancakes! Click-click-bloody-click pancakes!!! Lois: Peter tell Chris that women are not objects! Peter: Your mother's right Chris, listen to what it says. Peter (when he's hungover): This sucks worse than that time I went to that museu m. (Flashback to childhood, standing in museum looking at dinosaur skeltons.) Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out? Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night. Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.' Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios. A nervous sheep stradling a rocket to bring a daisy to a wolf in stilletos waiti ng lonely on the moon. Now I don't know what that means, but I know that I mean it If looks could really kill, Then my profession would be staring. E prajitura buna, dar EA merita sa o mannc? Nu vreau ca prajitura sa se simta cum va avantajata de glorioasa oportunitate de a fi digerata de mine. Everybody loves you when you re dead And everyone is suddenly your dearest friend Nobody talks no dirt about you But life it just goes on above your head When you re dea I guess it's hard for people who are so used to things the way they are - even i f they're bad - to change. 'Cause they kind of give up. And when they do, everybody kind of loses. Ever notice that even the worst bastards have friends? A lot of people enjoy being dead. But they're not dead, really. They're just... backing away from life. They're either married or gay. And if they're not gay, they've just broken up with the most wonderful woman in the world, or they've just broken up with a bitch who looks exactly like me.

They're in transition from a monogamous relationship and they need more space. Or they're tired of space, but they just can't commit. Or they want to commit, but they're afraid to get close. They want to get close, you don't want to get near them. Now, why would a dead girl lie? Hey! That sounds like a joke. Why would a dead girl lie? Answer: Because she can t stand up. "who said we? Said we what? She said we! We to what? Wait, who said we? Chowder to Schnitzel: Last night I had a dream you were mustard.... which is wei rd cause you're usually mayonnaise. Why do you suppose that is.....? Bank Lady: Welcome! Would you care for a free lollipop? Chowder: Would I? Bank Lady: Would you? Chowder: Would I? Bank Lady: Would you? Chowder: Would I? Bank Lady: Would you? Chowder: Would I what? Bank Lady: Care for a free lollipop? Chowder: Would I? Bank Lady: Would you? Chowder: Would I? Schnitzel: Rada rada! Chowder: Yes, I would. Thank you. Mung Daal: Well, Kimchi, as a ladies man myself, I can tell you. Tis better to ha ve loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Chowder: What does that mean? Mung Daal: It means love stinks. I said, baby, do you have no shame? She just looked at me, uncomprehendingly, li ke cows at a passing train If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice If you believe in forever, then life is just a one night stand. If there's a roc k and roll heaven, well, you know they got a hell of a band It's better to burn out, than to fade away. Send me dead flowers to my wedding and I won't forget to put roses on your grave . The future is so bright that I have got to wear shades. We learned more from a three minute record than we ever learned in school We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl year after year By the way, I never liked your face Complain about the future and blame it on the past, I'd like to find your inner child and kick its little ass. Here's a quarter, call someone who cares.

Hey you, get off of my cloud I wish you luck with a capital F. You are a waste of a name, a waste of time and a waste of space. You've only one claim to fame, I don't like you. It's such a pity that you're such a bitch. And once in a moment, it all comes to you. As soon as you get it, you want somet hing new. By the time poor Jack had returned up the hill, somebody else had been loving Ji ll Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapp rove. man who screws near graveyard is fucking near dead. The greatest lies of all time: I love you This won't hurt a bit The cheque's in the mail I was just going to call you I swear I won't come in your mouth Of course I'll respect you in the morning We have a really challenging assignment for you I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie!" ...until you can find a rock. Stop in the name of all that which does not suck "You go out on friday night, I'll stay in but that's alright 'Cause i have found a clique to call my own! So come and talk to me on my computer screen, the best years of our lives aren't as easy as they seem." We're DOOMED, DOOMED I tell ya! DOOMED, from the middle english meaning 'condemn ed to ruination or death'! DOO-MED!! "Meg start reading at Pslam 41 and don't stop! The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!" "Peter what on earth are you doing?" "The boy is speaking in tounges Lois! The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!" "Peter stop it! He's not possesed!" "Yeah he's just talking street. A lot of kids do it." "Oh." "My, my, what a thumping good read. Lions eating Christians, people nailing each other to two by fours. I'll say, you won't find that in 'Winnie the Pooh'." Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?" Then a voice answers "Nothing p ersonal, your name just happened to come up." Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a

big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're workin g on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta st ory brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on tha t the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friend s become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you d eserve some time off. Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you... very homosexually. "You don t know what goes on in anyone s life but your own. And when you mess with o ne part of a person s life, you re not messing with just that part. Unfortunately, y ou can t be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person s li fe, you re messing with their entire life. Everything. . . affects everything." In the end....everything matters." All morons hate it when you call them a moron. I'll teach you to ride on the wind's back, and away we go! "Do you know," Peter asked, "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories." If it had grown up, it would have made a dreadfully ugly child; but it makes rat her a handsome pig, I think. We're all mad here. Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with, and then the different branches of arithmetic -- Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision. Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop. Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she said: "one can't believe impossible things." "I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." I have an excellent idea. Let's change the subject. "I've had nothing yet, so I can't take more." "That's the reason they're called lessons, because they lessen from day to day."

"Sorry, you're much too big. Simply impassible." (Doorknob) "You mean impossible?" "No, impassible. Nothing's impossible." Life is like a movie:

IF YOU ARE SAD- drama IF YOU ARE AFRAID-suspense IF YOU ARE ANGRY-action WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR-horror now you are smiling; that's comedy all the children are insane waiting for the summer rain as natural as a gorilla beating its chest i want to be a king or at least a frog that turned into a prince Just remember the first step in forgetting Is destroying all the evidence. I never knew until that moment, what it was like to lose something I never reall y had. I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thous and years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or somethi ng like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That's why i'm trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning By the time you realize what you're losing, I'll be lost. Our lives are shaped by people who love us and people who refuse to love us. Everything is fine. Couldn't hurt more. If I had one wish it would be to have no reason to make one. This would be really funny, if it wasn't happening to me. The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality. There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy. It's like you don`t want to miss them, but you want them to miss you When you see someone you haven't seen for awhile, you realize all the good times you have missed with that person, and it hurts. Somehow, the conversation mentioned your name. And someone asked if I knew you. Looking away I had a thought of all the times we had together, sharing laughter, tears, jokes and tons more...and then, without explanation you were gone. I loo ked to where they were waiting for an answer and then said softly, 'once I thoug ht I did.' I miss you when something really good happens because you're the one I want to s hare it with. I miss you when something is troubling me because you're the one w ho understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because I know you ar e the one who made my laughter grow and my tears disappear I miss you all the ti me but I miss you the most when I lie awake at night and think of all the wonder ful times we spent with each other, because those were some of the best and most memorable times of my life. And you were my best friend. I'm so pissed at myself. That's right pissed at myself, not you. I'm pissed for always being nice, always apologizing for things I didn't do, for getting attach

ed, making you my life, depending on you, wasting my time on you, thinking about you, following you, changing for you, forgiving you, wishing for you, dreaming of you, and most of all for not hating you, which I know I should, but I can't. We will all laugh at gilded butterflies When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line bet ween being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth . So what the hell, leap So I look in your direction, But you pay me no attention, do you? If lovers never lie than liers never love. Bring back stories Cause I will stay behind see you again she hates me But it all was bullshit. / It was a goddamn joke / And when I think of you, Lind a / I hope you fucking choke. Yeah, Jesus tried to save me, but there was no space on his memory card. <Turkeyslam> oh man I saw pure gold at lunch, I was sitting near this group of b lack guys at a table and they all had tucked in shirts and shit, looked educated , I think they were studying calculus or some shit <Turkeyslam> and across from there, there was another table with a bunch of whit e guys, all ghetto looking, three of them wore fucking grills, sagging pants, an d one was playing some 50 cent ringtone or some shit <Turkeyslam> going "yeah boiiii" <Turkeyslam> and one of the black guys in the table next to me muttered "fucking niggers" <Turkeyslam> I choked on my fucking jolt cola <Tostitos> i like my women the way i like my coffee <Jet> Ground up and in the freezer? <SteveTheImpermeableHamster> full of your cream? <mistik> hawt? <Dokterrock> What, tied up in a sack and thrown over the back of a burro? <RaMTuFF> quiet ? <Jet>: Colombian? <Aimee> hot? <Jet> From McDonalds? <djswift2k3> Black? <SteveTheImpermeableHamster> in a cup? <Jet> Spilt all over your lap? <Aimee> cheap? <whiteboihere> strong and black?/ <Tostitos> i hate you all <PhoenixBourne> Ok, so a friend of mine had an AWESOME idea at school <PhoenixBourne> You know rohyphonol? (whatever the spelling is)

<linforcer> Is he gontna make a trebuchet <linforcer> no <PhoenixBourne> You know date rape drugs? <linforcer> Sure <PhoenixBourne> Right, rhyphonol is one of these. It knocks you asleep after an hour or two. <PhoenixBourne> I should also mention, a side affect of rhyphonol is amnesia of events whilst under influence of the drug. <PhoenixBourne> Now, a friend of mine had this idea: 1) Prepare ingredients 2) Take rhyphonol 3) Bake cake 4) Fall asleep 5) ?????? 6) Wake up 7) CAKE?! CAKE! Where did this come from?! <linforcer> SURPRISE CAKE!!!!!! <Ken|JLime> Jtag_me If you want a challenge, learn the emacs short commands <Ken|JLime> I'll stick to medical school myself <Jtag_me> haha <Ken|JLime> Its like CTRL-XYWZQFGUJ-F1 (while pressing F2).. and it walks your d og

<Splinton> So I'm on my honeymoon with my wife right...and after we're done fuck ing, I get up to go to the bathroom, and without thinking I left a $50 on the be d. <Aron> Oh shit.. <Splinton> Yeah... <Aron> She'll get over it right though? She can't possibly expect you've never b een with a woman up til now? <Splinton> Yeah that's not what I'm worried about...she gave me $20 change!

<Ranbert> someone shoot me please.... <tele> o \O_ Arrgh!! <tele> <\==- - - - - - - --- __/ <tele> / \ \

Faustmaster300:My friend got kicked out of french once. Faustmaster300:He goes,'Madam! I have a joke for you!' Faustmaster300:'What is it Zach?' Faustmaster300:'Why wasn't Jesus born in Paris?' Faustmaster300:'THEY COULDN'T FIND THREE WISE MEN!' Faustamster300: and after about 10 min of sitting the hallway, he pops his head back in the door and goes, 'Oh, and they couldn't find a virgin either.' <cheater> legal drinking age in poland is "i have 3 dollars" <Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks? <TheXPhial> vaccuums <Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?

<TheXPhial> black holes <Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool? <TheXPhial> lava? <i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b <BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b? <BonyNoMore> wait <BonyNoMore> never mind

<Th3No0b> Im going to <Th3No0b> Im going to <RageAgainsttheAmish> <Th3No0b> See? no one <RageAgainsttheAmish>

be the next hitler kill all the jews and 1 clown why the clown cares about the jews lmao

<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike <goatboy> what? <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy. <goatboy> er? <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy. <goatboy> and? <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy. <goatboy> ... <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy. <goatboy> i dont get it <MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL. <goatboy> bastard

IronChef Foicite: well, there's a lot of reasons IronChef Foicite: i mean, roses only last like a couple weeks IronChef Foicite: and that's if you leave them in water IronChef Foicite: and they really only exist to be pretty IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying IronChef Foicite: "my love for you is transitory and based solely on your appear ance" IronChef Foicite: but a potato! IronChef Foicite: potatos last for fucking ever, man IronChef Foicite: in fact, not only will they not rot, they actually grow shit e ven if you just leave them in the sack IronChef Foicite: that part alone makes it a good symbol IronChef Foicite: but there's more! IronChef Foicite: there are so many ways to enjoy a potato! you can even make a battery with it! IronChef Foicite: and that's like saying "i have many ways in which I show my lo ve for you" IronChef Foicite: and potatos may be ugly, but they're still awesome IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying "it doesn't matter at all what you look like, I'll still love you" #362137 +(9215)- [X] <Batty> Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c. <zeep> rapc?

<Batty> ... <Batty> Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end <zeep> oic <Batty> Though you could also say it's missing an e <zeep> wtf is erap? * Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall <Twig> I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl f ucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RU N!" x-c0n: Dude I was so drunk last night.. apparently this girl said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered, "Simba".

coke420: Woo! Just reached lvl 60 on a 3rd character for WoW! LexaDead: Great timing on that, I was just looking for a virgin to sacrifice. WeirdBeard> well my dad is icelandic, my mother is cuban <WeirdBeard> i'm an icecube <MattV> Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, and F are the letters for bra sizes? <MattV> If you've wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood f or, it's about time you were informed! <MattV> A- Almost boobs <MattV> B- Barely there <MattV> C- Can't complain! <MattV> D- Damn! <MattV> DD- Double damn! <MattV> E- Enormous! <MattV> F- Fake. You are the smell before rain. You are the blood in my veins.

If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand. I hope you find out what you want. I already know what I am. And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talkin g again. And you can tell me how vile I already know that I am. I'll grow old an d start acting my age. I'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate. A crown of gold. A heart that's harder than stone. And it hurts a whole lot, but it's mi ssed when it's gone. Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not. I'm glad that you can forgive. I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget. If it makes you less sad, I'll move out of the state. You can keep to yourself. I'll keep out of your way. And if it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down. Every pict ure you paint, I will paint myself out. It's cold as a tomb, and it's dark in yo ur room, when I sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds. So call it quits or get a grip. Say you wanted a solution. You just wanted to be missed. Call me

a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not. I'm glad that you can forgive. I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget... You are calm and reposed. Let your beauty unfold . Pale white, like the skin stretched over your bones. Spring keeps you ever clo se. You are second hand smoke. You are so fragile and thin. Standing trial for y our sins. Holding onto yourself the best you can. You are the smell before rain. You are the blood in my veins. Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not. I'm gla d that you can forgive. I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.

If looks could really kill, then my profession would be staring. We're wrecking and I'm dry like a drum...when you scream so fine I'll leave... we're spent... we've got time and trials... measured in miles... we slave for days (and weeks). And every time I leave you go and lock the door. So I walk myself picking at a chip on my shoulder. I'm another day late and one year older. I'm a failure by design. Come to me. The only broken-hearted loser you'll ever need, or I'll be left alone forever with my magazines. We were kids, you were the sun to which my eyes would not adjust. We were kids, I was a fountain. You could never drink enough. They say the devil's water It ain't so sweet You dont have to drink right now But you can dip your feet Every once in a little while

You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the Grim Reaper. Leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub. Who: Conrad Hilton when asked if he had any last words of wisdom. I'm a sickening wreck I've got the 21st century breathing down my neck Now cinderella don't you go to sleep It's such a bitter form of refuge Oh don't you know the kingdom's under siege And everybody needs you Save some face, you know you've only got one Change your ways while you're young