What's your discipline style?

Style

Positive Discipline
Encouragement

Gentle Discipline
Prevention and diffusion
Cool-off period Parental anger management Time-outs Distraction Redirection Validation Humor Child throws toys on floor. Parent picks up a stuffed animal and kneels down on eye-level with child. The stuffed animal does the talking and says, "Oh no! My toy friends are all over the floor! Won't you help me pick them up?" The No-Cry Discipline Solution, by Elizabeth Pantley

Boundary-based Discipline
Limits and consequences
Exploring choices together Cool-down period Time-outs Natural consequences Logical consequences

Emotion-coaching

Behaviormodification

Primary emphasis

Communication and Negative recognition of feelings and positive reinforcement

Identifying feelings Empathic listening Self-soothing strategies Praise Reward charts Consequences Time-outs Warnings

Techniques include

Positive time-outs Family meetings Natural consequences Working together to find a solution

Example of how it works

Child throws toys on floor. Parent says, "We have a problem, because the toys are not in the toy box where they're supposed to be. But I think you can solve this. What do you think you should do?"

Child throws toys on floor. Parent calmly says, "Please pick up your toys." If child refuses, parent remains calm and says, "You can either choose to pick up those toys, or I will put them away until tomorrow."

Child throws toys on floor. Parent gently removes toy from child's hand and says, "You felt upset when I told you that it was almost naptime. But we don't throw toys, even when we're mad. Instead, would you like to draw a picture about how mad you are?" Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles, by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlich The Happiest Toddler on the Block, by Harvey Karp, M.D.

Child throws toys on floor. Parent calmly says, "Please pick up your toys. This is your first warning." If child refuses, parent says, "This is your second warning." If child refuses, parent says, "Take a five-minute time-out" and escorts child to her room. 1-2-3 Magic, by Thomas Phelan, Ph.D. Assertive Discipline for Parents, by Lee Canter with Marlene Canter

Books

Positive Discipline, by Jane Nelson, Ed.D. Kids Are Worth It!, by Barbara Coloroso

Setting Limits, by Robert J. MacKenzie, Ed.D. No: Why Kids of All Ages Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It , by David Walsh, Ph.D.