MEDICAL MNEMONICS

Mnemosyne was the Greek goddess of memory, Her namesake, mnemonics, simply means "memory aid".
IF YOU FIND REFERENCES TO FEMALE/MALE ANATOMY OFFENSIVE, THIS LIST IS DEFINITELY NOT FOR YOU!!

THANKS TO: Anonymous Medical Students everywhere! 1.Anatomy 2.Biochemistry 3.Pharmacology 4. Clinical

ANATOMY
Head & Neck CRANIAL NERVES: I-Optic, II-Olfactory, III-Oculomotor, IV-Trochlear, VTrigeminal, VI-Abducens, VII-Facial, VIII-Acoustic (Vestibulocochlear), IXGlossophrayngeal, X-Vagus, XI-Spinal Accessory, XII-Hypoglossal On Old Olympus Towering Tops, A Finn And German Viewed Some Hops (older and cleaner) Oh Oh Oh To Touch And Feel A Girls Vagina And Hymen (newer and, well ...) Which cranial nerve is Sensory, Motor, or Both- Some Say Marry Money, But My Brother Says Big Breasts Matter More

BRANCHES OF FACIAL NERVE: Temporal, Zygomatic, Buccal, Mandibular, Cervical Ten Zebras Beat My Cock Two Zulus buggered my cat –(for the sicker, amongst you!) You have I nose. You have II eyes. (I - Olfactory; II -- Optic) Standing Room Only -Exit of branches of trigeminal nerve from the skull S V1 -Superior orbital fissure, V2 -foramen Rotundum, V3 -foramen Ovale

For the order of nerves that pass through the superior orbital fissure: "Lazy French Tarts Lie Naked in Anticipation." (Lacrimal, Frontal, Trochlear, Lateral, Nosociliary, Internal, Abducens) 2 Muscle of mastication- Lateral Lowers- lateral pterygoid is the one that opens the jaw 4 Muscles of Mastication MTPP( which could be read as "Empty Peepee") masseter, temporal, lateral and medial pterygoids -Arteries as they come off the external carotid: Superior thyroid, Ascending pharyngeal, Lingual, Facial, Occipital, Post Auricular, Superficial temporal, Maxillary Some Anatomists Like Fucking, Others Prefer S & M Some Angry Lady Figured out PMS

Innervation of Extraocularmotor Muscles: LR6 SO4 3 LR6--Lateral rectus--> VI abductens SO4--Superior Oblique--> IV Trochlear

3--The remaining 4 eyeball movers = III Oculomotor ABC'S of the aortic arch! Aortic arch gives off the Bracheiocephalic trunk, the left Common Carotid, and the left Subclavian artery BRACHIAL PLEXUS: Roots, Trunks, Divisions, Cords, Branches Robert Taylor Drinks Cold Beer. CERVICAL SPINAL NERVES: c345 keeps the phrenic alive (innervation of phrenic nerve) c345 keep the diaphragm alive (innervation of diaphragm) c5-6-7 raise your arms to heaven (nerve roots of long thoracic nerve innervate serratus anterior)

Cranial Bones Annoying, aren't they? The cranial bones are the PEST OF 6... Parietal, Ethmoid,Sphenoid,Temporal,Occipital,Frontal- 6 ? (6-the number of bones!) ( another one) Old People From Texas Eat Spiders.

LOCATION OF THORACIC DUCT: The duck is between two gooses (duck = thoracic duct) 2 gooses = azyGOUS and esophaGOUS

Cartilages of the Larynx - There are 4 cartilages in the larynx whose initial letters are TEAC (also the brandname of a home stereo). Thyroid, Epiglottis, Arytenoid, Cricoid

Abdomen-Pelvis INNERVATION OF PENIS: Parasympathetic puts it up; sympathetic spurts it out Point , Shoot, Score! (erection, emmision ,ejaculation) Parasympathetic, Sympathetic , Somatomotor "S2, 3, 4 keep the penis off the floor" Innervation of the penis by branches of the pudental nerve, derived from spinal cord levels S2-4 Structures perforating the esophagus "At T8 you see, perforates the IVC" (inferior Vena Cava) the "EsoVagus" pierce T10 (esophagus, vagus nerve) T12 - red, white and blue (aorta,thoracic duct,azygous vein) Femoral Sheath (lateral to medial) order of things in thigh -NAVEL Nerve, Artery, Vein, Empty, Space, Lymphatics Radial n. innervates the BEST!!!! Brachioradialis Extensors Supinator Triceps Course of Ureters Water runs under the bridge (uterine a. and ductus deferens) Carotid Sheath-- VAN Internal Jugular Vein Common carotid Artery

Vagus Nerve Dermatomes C3 is a high turtleneck shirt T4 is at the nipple L1 is at the inguinal ligament (or L1 is IL -Inguinal ligament) Randy Travis Drinks Cold Beer--Brachial plexus Robert Taylor Drinks Cold Beer Roots, Trunks, Divisions, Cords, Branches Bones of the wrist -Scaphoid, Lunate, Triquetrum, Pisiform, Trapezium, Trapezoid, Capitate, Hamate 1. Slowly Lower Tilly's Pants To The Curly Hairs 2. Swifty Lower Tilly's Pants to try coitus here. (the risque version) 3.Scared Lovers Try Positions That They Can't Handle. (Classic version)

Pelvic Diaphragm PICOLO(A) -Posterior to anterior PIriformis COccygeus Levator Ani Pelvic Splanchic-Parasympathetic Sacral Splanchic-Sympathetic

Armies travel over bridges, the Navy travels under. (Bridge is the ligament...reference to suprascapular artery and nerve.) Pad, dab. Dorsal ABduct...Palmar ADduct...interosseous muscles of hand/foot. Layers of the epidermis-Germinativum or Basale, Spinosum, Granulosum, Lucidum, Corneum Grandpa Shagging Grandma's Love Child. Limbic System- the 5 F’s- Feeding, Fighting, Feeling, Flight and Fucking

The 5 sphincters found in the Alimentary Canal are APE OIL: Anal, Pyloric, Lower Esophogeal, Oddi, and Ileocecum. Sally Thompson Loves Sex And Pot pie. The branches of the Axillary Artery are: Superior Thoracic, Thoracoacromial, Lateral Thoracic, Subscapular, Anterior Circumflex Humeral, Posterior Circumflex Humeral, and Profunda Brachii.

TIRE- four abdominal muscles -- transversus, internal oblique, rectus abdominus, and external oblique

GFR -Layers of the adrenal:-- Glomerular, Fascicular, Reticular

BIOCHEMISTRY
In the Phasted State Phosphorylate Phosphorylation cascade active when blood glucose low. Exons expressed, Introns in the trash--DNA expression into mature mRNA

Pyrimidines are CUT from purines. Pyrimidines are Cytosine, Uracil, Thiamine and are one ring structures. Purines are double ring structures.

Amino Acids:The ten essential amino acids: "These Ten Valuable Amino Acids Have Long Preserved Life In Man." (Threonine, Tryptophan, Valine, Arginine, Histidine, Lysine, Phenylalanine, Leucine, Isoleucine, Methionine) INsulin gets sugar INto cells- (Excess sugar is removed via urine.The Romans noticed bees attracted to the urine of diabetics and coined the term "diabetes" to describe the overflow of sugar.)

GOAT FLAP- Eight hormones: Growth hormone, Oxytocin, Adenocorticotropin, Thyroid stimulating hormone, Follicle stimulating hormone, Leutinizing hormone (interstitial cell stimulating hormone in males), Anti-diruetic(Vasopressin), and Prolactin (shhhh.... also Melatonin!)

PHARMACOLOGY
Morphine excites men, but sedates cats. One heart two lungs--beta receptor activity Beta-1 primarily on heart; airway is beta-2 receptors

CLINICAL

Meckel’s diverticulum- rule of 2’s 2 inches long, 2 feet from the ileocecal valve, 2% of the population commonlly presents in the first 2 years of life may contain 2 types of epithelial tissue Pheochromocytoma-rule of 10s: 10% malignant 10% Bilateral 10% extraadrenal 10% calcified 10% children 10% familial * discussed 10 times more often than actually seen Aphasia "BROKen aphasia" (Broca’s aphasia-broken speech) "Wordys aphasia" (Wernicke’s aphasia- wordy, but making no sense) GET SMASH'D--Causes of Acute pancreatitis Gallstones, Ethanol, Trauma, Steroids, Mumps, Autoimmune(PAN), Scorpion bites, Hyperlipidemia, Drugs(azathioprine, diuretics) (Multiple endocrine neoplasia) Each of the MENs is a disease of three or two letters plus a feature.

"MEN I" is a disease of the 3 Ps (pituitary, parathyroid and pancreas) plus adrenal cortex. "MEN II " is a disease of the two Cs (carcinoma of the thyroid and catacholamines [pheochromocytoma]) plus parathyroid for MEN IIa or mucocutaneous neuromas for MEN IIb (aka MEN III). Acute pneumonia caused by Pyogenic bacteria--PMN infiltrate Acute pneumonia caused by Miscellaneous microbes --Mononuclear infiltrate Takayasu's diz = pulseless diz, therefore when you have Takayasu's, I can't Tak'a yu pulse. Argyll-Robertson Pupil--syphilitic pupil (AKA "Prostitute's pupil" Accommodates, but doesn't react ) Accommodation reflex present, Pupillary reflex absent CAGE--alcohol use screening 1. Have you ever felt it necessary to CUT DOWN on your drinking? 2. Has anyone ever told you they were ANNOYED by your drinking? 3. Have you ever felt GUILTY about your drinking? 4. Have you ever felt the need to have a drink in the morning for an EYE OPENER? P-Q-R-S-T--eliciting and HPI and exploring symptoms P--palliative or provocative factors for the pain Q--quality of pain(burning, stabbing, aching, etc.) R--region of body affected S--severity of pain(usually 1-10 scale)

T--timing of pain(eg.-after meals, in the morning, etc.) The five W's--post-operative fever Wind--pneumonia, atelectasis Water--urinary tract infection Wound--wound infections Wonderdrugs--especially anesthesia Walking--walking can help reduce deep vein thromboses and pulmonary embolus ACID or "Anna Cycled Immediately Downhill" classification of hypersensitivity reactions Type I - Anaphylaxis Type II - Cytotoxic-mediated Type III - Immune-complex Type IV - Delayed hypersensitivity WBC Count: "Never Let Momma Eat Beans(60, 30, 6, 3, 1) Neutrophils 60% Lymphocytes 30% Monocytes 6% Eosinophils 3% Basophils 1% A-P-G-A-R: A - appearance (color) P - pulse (heart rate)

G - grimmace (reflex, irritability) A - activity (muscle tone) R - respiratory effort Predisposing Conditions for Pulmonary Embolism: TOM SCHREPFER T--trauma O--obesity M--malignancy S--surgery C--cardiac disease H--hospitalization R--rest (bed-bound) E--estrogen, pregnancy, post-partum P--past hx F--fracture E--elderly R--road trip The 4 P's of arterial Occlusion: pain pallor pulselessness paresthesias

The 4 T's of Anterior Mediastinal Mass:Thyroid tumor,Thymoma,Teratoma, Terrible Lymphoma

Comments? Errors? Omissions? Additions! email me- David Goldenberg M.D.