Queer as Cake: Asexuality, Identity, and Culture

Hello! I'm Riet. I'm from Michigan. Sometimes I swear.

- language - gender - representation - allyship -

The Basics Example of a table
- Asexual (abbr. Ace): someone who experiences no sexual attraction to others. - Aromantic: someone who experiences no romantic attraction to others. - [prefix]-romantic: Asexual orientations. Analogous to [prefix]-sexual. - Demiromantic: Someone who experiences romantic attraction only after developing an emotional attachment. - Demisexual (abbr. Demi): Someone who experiences sexual Attraction only after developing an emotional connection. - Celibacy: Has sexual attraction, abstains. - Gray-Ace (abbr. Grace): a fluid identity - Gray-romantic: another fluid identity - none of these things must be mutually exclusive Some aces have sex. Some aces like it. Some aces masturbate. Some relationships are different. Get over it!

ThingsExample of a table Asexuality is Not
a choice (celibacy) a phase (Peter Pan syndrome) a value judgement a medical disorder a girl thing an indicator of sexual behavior an indicator of sex-negativity a rejection of all relationships, all the time, forever a superpower whereby we clone ourselves via binary fission and take over the world - or so you think - ah ha ha ha ha ha. heh. - * strokes cat *

ThingsExample of a table Demisexuality is Not
a choice (“purity”) a phase a value judgement (slutshaming) a girl thing an invalid label an indicator of sexual behavior an indicator of sex-negativity

Note: PowerPoint does not allow you to have nice default tables - but you can cut and paste this one

Gender Presentation Sexual Behavior

Assigned Gender Sexual Orientation Gender Identity

Story time!
Medicalization of women and women's health “Hysteria” Yes, those “ooh, doctor” porn scenarios were based in actual fact.
PLAN TEST

EVALUATE

Sexism: 1 Sexytime: 1 We'll call it a draw.

PLAN

Orgasm: you're doing it wrong.

BUILD

TEST

EVALUATE

Gender and Asexuality
From a binary perspective: - the virgin-whore dichotomy DESIGN PLAN BUILD TEST EVALUATE - for men: the virgin-GET SOME dichotomy - cue pelvic thrusting From a non-binary perspective:

-the ace* community seems to be a hell of a lot mor Gender-diverse than previously suspected

wConsulting

Detective: The Science of Deduction
w http://www.yourdomainname.co.uk/

Giggle Search

Your Tab Name

I'm So Confused
Am I asexual? Search

w Consulting

Detective: The Only One in the World
w http://www.yourdomainname.co.uk/

Giggle Search

Your Tab Name

Silly child, asexuality is for amoebas. Did you mean “am I a loser?”

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE GAY
Come on. Admit it. You're just so far in the closet you're in Narnia.. .. more www.therainbowconnection.com The cake is a lie. No, you're not. .. more www.getoverit.now You just need to get laid! Sexuality is a beautiful and natural part of life! Don't knock it until you've tried it. Seriously. You don't know what you're missing. Maybe I can help you, heh heh. What? .. more www.craigslist.com

w Consulting

Detective: Your Question, Our Division
w http://www.yourdomainname.co.uk/

Giggle Search

Your Tab Name

It's so awesome that you're saving yourself for marriage!
We're so proud of you. Let's go purity ring shopping! .. more www.sacredvirginity.com BUT YOU HAD SEX You're just frigid as all hell. Stop being a special snowflake and get over it. .. more www.slut-shaming.com BUT YOU MASTURBATE Don't tell me the prospect of getting with David Tennant doesn't turn you on. I mean, come on. David Tennant! What more do you want? .. more www.showmeyourgenitals.com I'm sorry. Have you seen a doctor about it? I've heard hormone therapy works wonders. I only want to help you live a normal healthy life! .. more www.thiswonthurtabit.com

w Consulting

Detective: Your Question, Our Division
w http://www.yourdomainname.co.uk/

Giggle Search

Your Tab Name

That's cool. I just broke up with my girlfriend of three years, so I've decided to be asexual for a while.
Just me and my dick. .. more www.foreveralone.com It must be so easy for you! Imagine never having to worry about relationships, ever! I'm going to adopt a cat right now. .. more www.aromantic.com All right. Go find your own community. Just...get out of my queer space. .. more www.showmeyourgenitals.com

What is love?

Agape Eros Philia Storge

What is attraction?
Aesthetic Emotional Physical Sexual Intellectual

Navigating Language in a Sexual World
DESIGN PLAN

?

BUILD

sexy hot 'asexualEVALUATE porn' TEST crush

Fine! Fine! I get it! Example Bullet Point Slide But why the hell are you making so much noise?

Queer enough?
Asexuals are the Iceland of the Oppression Olympics. (sorry, Iceland) Fuck the Oppression Olympics.
DESIGN PLAN BUILD TEST EVALUATE Heteroromantic asexuals with straight-passing privilege do not usually experience homophobia

But they do experience denial, erasure, invisibility, and/or invalidation.

Queer enough?
In short, aces* are kicked out of normative boxes because they don't fit into them. And what is that?
DESIGN ...queer! PLAN BUILD TEST EVALUATE

How can I be an ally?:
Essentially, the same as any other ally instructions. Don't ask us what our porn is. Don't ask us about what our junk likes to do. Flail with us about our “porn”.

DESIGN BUILD TEST Understand PLAN promote the other side EVALUATE and of a sex-positive culture—not wanting sex is just fine

Resources:
Your ace* friends! AVEN Apositive The Asexual Sexologist Actually, any ace blog and follow their links DESIGN PLAN BUILD TEST EVALUATE Carnival of Aces The Dapper Ace, other Youtube Channels Anyone but Dan Savage Tumblr. Just...Tumblr.

'I accept that two men looking for a flat share in the modern world is open to question but it's addressed wittily. 'I think Holmes was - and is in our modern interpretation asexual, rather than gay or bisexual. 'I think he had an experience of a woman that left him badly burnt.' - Benedict Cumberbatch, Daily Mail interview, July 2010

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