Couple trapped in codependency

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

The Herald

Tomorrow’s Horoscope
WEDNESDAY, MAY 16, 2012 In the coming months, Taureans as a whole could be extremely fortunate in most endeavors they initiate and/or control. Problems could arise, however, if you allow others to talk you out of your way of doing things. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) -- You?ll be surprised by your comprehension of the old saying: “We learn by teaching.” Let others be the instructors, for a change. GEMINI (May 21-June 20) -- If you discover that others are ready and willing to help you, drop everything and take them up on their offer. Chances are it?ll be a golden opportunity. CANCER (June 21-July 22) -- It isn?t likely you?ll find a better day to confront an individual about a prickly issue that needs resolution. By taking advantage of opportune timing, beneficial results can be achieved. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) -- Utilize your strong feelings of ambition and motivation to take care of several large-scale objectives. It?s the strong desire to succeed that powers the engine of success. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) -- If you put your best foot forward, certain people with whom you?ll be in contact socially will happily agree to play some important roles in your present activities. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) -Because no one knows your needs better than you, it will be up to you to orchestrate what measures should be taken to enhance your overall material security. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) -- For reasons you may not fully understand, your influence over your peers could be very powerful at this point in time. Keep your comments as constructive as possible. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) -- Although it generally isn?t advisable, in your case it?s OK to involve people with whom you share a close personal relationship in your business ventures. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) -- You should finally be able to come up with a way to circumvent an obstacle in your path. Be ready, because it will require a surge of activity on your part. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) -It could be vital to keep your ideas and intentions confined only to those who are directly involved in an important endeavor on which you?re working. Secrecy is a must. PISCES (Feb. 20-March 20) -Be open-minded to a new way of doing something that might be superior to your present method. Be flexible in mind and keep your options open, and you’ll come out ahead. ARIES (March 21-April 19) -Although each might require a bit of effort, several important objectives can be attained. Don?t hesitate to go all out in order to achieve what you want.
COPYRIGHT 2012 United Feature Syndicate, Inc.


By Bernice Bede Osol

Dear Annie: My brother- different planets. And if her in-law, “Travis,” has been in expectation of our relationa relationship with his girl- ship is not met, she thinks we friend, “Kristin,” for eight cannot have any relationship years. They now have two at all. I wish only the best for young children. Kristin has my sister, but whenever we cheated on him too many get together, it is ugly. times to count and continues Should I continue to push to do so. They fight about it for family time even though constantly. I don’t want to be alone with The problem is that Travis her? My father seems OK is so wrapped up in what with things as they are, but Kristin is doing with vari- I’m a parent now, too, and ous other men that both of I would be devastated if this them have put their children were the situation with my on the back burner. At the kids. -- No Family Time moment, the kids are living Dear Family: We think with Kristin’s parents. Kristin your father would rather see says the kids are you individually the most important than watch things thing to her, but she get “ugly” in front definitely doesn’t of him. Would you show it. She’s only and your sister cona mom when it’s sider counseling convenient for her. together? Unless And Travis is the the two of you can same way. work out some kind Travis is being of detente for Dad’s treated for depressake, it might be sion due to his relabest to leave things tionship, but, Annie, Annie’s Mailbox as they are. he is never going to Dear Annie: I change her into the read with amusewoman he wants. He refuses ment the letter from “Santa to leave her, saying he wants Cruz,” the lesbian who objectto keep his “family” together, ed to the way she was stared but they are hardly together at in foreign restrooms. as it is. I don’t see how this is I have short hair, rarely good for the kids. wear makeup and have also Travis isn’t innocent, been treated rudely abroad. It either. He can’t keep a job never occurred to me that it because he would rather was an issue of sexual orien“babysit” Kristin. He is lazy tation, because I am straight. and thinks the world owes I assumed it was because I him something. The two of wear comfortable shoes, look them have tried counseling people in the eye and act apart and together, but they more assertively than women never stick with it. of that culture. As a family, we don’t Your advice to be polite know what to do. We’ve talk- and charming is spot on and ed to Travis until we are blue works non-verbally, as well. in the face. Why can’t he see -- Also from Santa Cruz that this is a toxic relationship? How do we get him to Annie’s Mailbox is written care more about his children by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy instead of their poor excuse Sugar, longtime editors of the for a mother? -- Worried Ann Landers column. Please Family email your questions to Dear Worried: Travis, and Kristin have a co-depen- or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, dent relationship that is going c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 nowhere. And it will continue 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, until one of them decides he CA 90254. or she has had enough. You cannot make this happen. Instead, please concentrate on those kids. Neither parent is fit to raise them. Are Kristin’s parents providing a stable home life? Can you spend more time with the children, taking them out on weekends? Your goal should not be to provide Travis with a better marriage. It should be to help care for those children so they can grow up to be more mature than their parents. Dear Annie: My sister and I are estranged. Our father is in his 80s, and although I have no need to be friends with my sister, I would like us to be able to sit in the same room together for my father’s sake. I do not understand why we have never gelled. My sister says it’s because I am jealous of her. I feel we are on







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