rizzle kicks - mama do the hump mint berry crunch southpark the weight of expectation on me from others and

myself to fuck up again to crash a car again to have my eyebrow split open on a female karate black belts fist again ;) to be cosying up with a girl whose boyfriend was a marine and was coming back to bridegwater soon again She didn't tell me about him. i can't say much about december 2012 except that I was born a few minutes before 12:00pm on the 11/12/72 So the first full day of my fourtieth year will be 12/12/12. I'll be meditating or hungover or both.... 9 or so days after that it's the 21st of December 2012 when we stop measuring ti me by what we earn from it But by how we feel while we're making the most of it, not a second wasted becaus e they never are just spent. Who Am I? am i a sexist pig? am i a feminist? a post modern prattle on or a shakepearian b attleworn lad from a' estate? who knows at the moment but I'm not that concerned. This test is the hardest co s it's all to be relearned a bit. Going back to times when I hadn't a clue is the result of thinking I knew it all makes me a fool not a clown pie-eyed. I've got to face every aspect of myself and ask is that me? Like comparing myse lf to others all the time am I them inside? No it's me. Bits of me that I don't like or had thought were long gone, brought up by strong emotions of pure joy a reverance and respect for the fact that there was a time when it felt joyless to be here, in fact pret ty grim, so I suppose it leads to overwhleming feelings of ambivalence when it's hurting so much to deal with that shit but if I don't do it now it's just like an itch. If you scratch it it comes back if i t wants to, if you don't scratch it that's it... Some itches may feel the same after you are healing or saved from overindulgence or underindulgence or both in extreme but the fact that they're healing is the sign that you're free to imagi ne that everything else is fine too. After all even if you're kidding yourself, won't that do? Make believe that there's peace now already cos there is if you like, it's found deep inside you like riding a bike. You remember or it's itch ing at you but you know if you don't you'll never know a thing worth knowing and this isn't a joke. Learn who you are when you have a spring clean up there and all over and carry that person forward into whatever future present moment you wish to see unfold. I don't mind feeling like I'm 20 something again even if I don't look it ;) beca use to me it's like wishing you could go back and do it all again with the knowl edge and wisdom of someone who could kick the bullies ass and such and such. Pr oblem with that is I would have been worse and far worse off right now. I don't

emotional . learn the way and I am. but hey work harder not smarter. balancing out the right and left brain spheres like two plane ts slowly colliding and becoming one line that Spice Girls song. So it's me? It's my fault I'm the way I am not what others did. I can keep my clothes. Always am. Be consistent more. I've r ead books. I can download or access almost anything I could ever need online. Then someone said hey. all I do is imagi ne that my heart can take it. I didn't do an ything. it's really not my fault it's just coming out that way these days sometimes. Learning a lot and making masses o f mistakes but hey it's the opposite of getting over someone cold turkey. In fact they only get better cos they were pure emotion and that's just as memor able as the first time you did anything new anywhere new with anyone new. Not in fits and starts. articles a nd friends who live a better life than I do. Although it never doe s except that one time. mental.. Because it can.respond well to accusations and I don't mind a confrontation whereas before I w ould have avoided it at all costs. But it is.M. The rest I can grow or have to buy. Hmm as usual I start writing feelings and get gibberish poetry. intuition and cogni tion failing captain. squelch they've only blooomin' gone and mad e a super mind capable of common sensual decisions within the one organ so not e ither swayed too heavily by emotion and change or to not heavily enough to stick to habits and ruts in concert with the fact that the brain sends less signals t o the Heart as do the neurons there send far more information to the brain.) will usually r esult in a handshake or a kiss and later after way too much of one or the other s somehow it comes back up again and everything kicksoff. we l itterly are able to think with our hearts and often do. physical. Alert c almness. the rest hasn't been touched for years. smooch smooch I love you lefty . The ability to not freak out constantly and not over-react constantly to outside events. I don't like fighting of any kind.. I let them. and a global pers pective the opportunity to choose our own future. I prefer a sit down debate that after a few dri nks and other purely for medicinal purposes substances (P. isn't. everything is true from the right perspective. take your time. But I'm way more a lover than a fighter. Isn't. if you still recognise those labels for the population of the planet earth. I felt helpless so I was helpless so it's not my fault. That's a great bon us and a great temptation at the same time. different things that were tough are getting better but that's still not enough? Yes No er Yes it's still not. will I go this way or that way? What should I be looking out for again? Land marks? Road Signs? I'm lost again. yesisnot. we're all at sea this time ready to ditch but that was the n and it's been easy to easier to fix.P. But we get heart broken and then stop trusting it. Breathing through my heart as in my . breathing in the power in the form of oxygen or energy whatever way you wanna look at it. My stereo and the essentials I'm keeping. I haven't got many and I'm getting rid of everything as fast as I can. So yes I'm feeling shy and retiring whilst also on top of the world for the brie fest times and those are when I can face the fact that I don't need most things. In small ways we are every da y. If I'm ever in pain of any sort. Bit by bit. take my pain away like some kind of beautiful reprocessing plant.S. Almost as if we're all being offered on a personal and a national. isn' t. they were at tached to nice feelings that aren't going anywhere. I love you righty. Stop thinking those old thoughts now for the last time let them go. I'm ha ving to learn focus in every second and relaxation in that same moment. is. I'm drawn to the right videos.

who despite annoying the heck out of you makes you laugh.. Although that's still fun in the right company.. I had plenty of tim es. rather than being honest at the start and learning to love someone..) intimidating means to threaten and also to injure and is so close to imitating t hat it hurts.. There are little glimpses of that crimson palace I resided in and in t ruth the more I cope with feeling like shit the more I seem to get over it quick er. shared lots of things Intimidation (also called cowing) is intentional behavior "which would cause a p erson of ordinary sensibilities" fear of injury or harm. It's not necessary to p rove that the behavior was so violent as to cause terror or that the victim was actually frightened This isn't about a person it's about every person in or out of my life and a little bit about me and all at the same time my bit seems toughest sorry if that's how y'all feel too.. I meant that we had the lights on . cried in front of you. Love & Light Jon x .head's third eye I see it glowing a pure gold although rarely cos it's red hot a nd white hot mostly these days. Imagination Creation Elation Intimi Dating When I said I hadn't been that intimate with a woman before. The less I feel like getting shitfaced or out of it. just a pilot light in comparison to how it felt before. Don't we just try to be the same as each other for as long as we can manage? and then find out that we're nothing alike and hate each other for it.