CMST 2010

1. REVIEW exam 1 50% definitions/ 50% examples 40 questions

11/30/2011 8:50:00 AM

 CHAPTER 5: NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION
    IS EVERYHTING YOU DO IN COMMUNICATION WITHOUT WORDS What you are doing with your appearance, gestures, time, It influences every interaction When you remove nonverbal communication,

 It has 5 functions 1. Contradiction: often it contradicts our verbal communication 2. Emphasis: ex: that’s your problem, not my problem (you move your head, and pointing) trying to getting the point across 3. Complementing: it complements our verbal communication, they go together… it comes more natural 4. Regulates our conversations: learn through observation, 5. Substitutes for non-verbal communication: through gestures you can end a conversation without saying it,  Principles - Non-verbal communication is consider more credible than verbal communication= we believe it more, our non-verbal communication is more difficult to control/hard to fake - Non-verbal is both biological based and culturally learned. +There are six universal expressions:   Happiness, fear, anger, disgust, sadness and surprise Biological based: It is really hard to control our truth emotion, contain Facial expressions there are micro-expressions Culturally learned: every culture have different meaning for different expression, how you hug, how you dress, how you address someone, When we show nonverbal expressions that we don’t want to use/show = leakage Display Rules: are rules that governed our display of nonverbal

Significant choice: make your own decision.1) categorical imperative is either black and white Ethic of care: most recent system.we pay attention to what we want (its selective) EXAM Self-monitoring: the degree to which we manage our public self. their accessories/ we select what we want to pay attention to. Attribution theory: when you assigns reason to peoples behavior Framing theory: no questions about it Intercultural communication: High text culture Don’t assume Ethical systems (end ch. how they sit.its multichannel/leveled +if you were to look at a persons nonverbal communications we would be looking at their appearance. you don’t want to impose your judgment . what they are wearing.- communication and emotion + not dressing appropriately for an occasion Nonverbal communications is often ambiguous : its meaning is not clear It occurs at many levels. develop because there was no way of explaining how women make decision .

punctuality: we all have dif. when we are thinking about what we are going to say.individualistic touch  Task function of touch: when a specialized person touches us    Hybrid touch: hand shake turns into a hug Accidental touch: when you are in an elevator Paralanguage: is the study of a persons voice. -playful function: . our car. weight. what you value what do you devote that place to. . we are really careful about who let in our intimate space Personal space: 18inches to 4 Social space 4 to 12 feet Public distance Expectancy violation Theory: How we use time: Americans are obsess with time Formal and Informal time: Informal time is time we use to socializing. Intimate space: 18 inches.To control behavior . symmetry. and body artifacts = with what we adorn our body We make a decision about someone in 20 sec after meeting them How we use space? Proxemics: is the use of space…. skin tone.11/30/2011 8:50:00 AM    Physical appearance: hair color. Expectations about it. How close we are close to someone and how we use the space of things we own. or when we set aside a time to do something           3 important components of Informal time : duration:(what is an appropriate time set aside for something). Proxemics: is also what others spaces we occupy around: apartments. vocal distractors have a strong relationship with how critical a person is. what does our backpack says about us. activity: how we actually use our time  Touch/ haptic: -when you hug someone (positive effect). We like to take ownership of our personal spaces.

11/30/2011 8:50:00 AM Chapter 7 Emotions: what we feel. a persons feelings Are emotions internally or externally caused Not all feelings are created equally. How we categorized emotions: Vailence      .

11/30/2011 8:50:00 AM  Test 2 Ch.Things are true or false. Ch. 5. good or bad. Changing from one emotion to the other . 7 and deception notes and gender A lot of the questions come from chapter 5 -know all the definitions -chapter 5 definitions come in the test Paralanguage and vocalics= the study of the voice Chapter 7 be familiar with 222-224 Biological emotions. dualism = split between the mind and the body .

Good listener have better relationships and have more success There are 4 components of the listener 1) receiving – acknowledge 2) responding: is about remembering what happened before. we get overload with messages and many times we don’t get them all. 3) Recalling: evaluate chunking. When we are listening we don’t always take the four components into consideration We need to be careful with rating because other people may not agree with what we are saying back to them. manageable sets. we use it for understanding. 4) Lack of trained 5) Preoccupation: 6) Listening gap: there is a gap between a person can quickly speak and how much we can usderstand. recall past information. we are involve in the process of chunking: how we take info that we heard and break it into manageable sets 4) Rating: feedback. what was the question. 3) Message complexity: how complex the message is. Barriers to listening: listening is difficult because 1) noise : mainly physical noise…you need to remove noice sometimes it can be semantic 2) message overload: the average is 200 messages a day. and to what you don’t you just tune out 2) talkaholics 3) pseudolistening: 4) gap filler: 5) defensive list: 6) ambushing:    .11/30/2011 8:50:00 AM    Listening is relationship based we use it to improve our relationship. So our mind can wonder we can only understand 800 words in a minute vs says over 1050  Poor listening Habits 1) selective listening: you decide what u want to hear. opinion you talk about the whole process. is a skill that we can develop. we are recalling before responding.

They have rapid tone of voice. experimenting is finding out about someone. bonding is living together. and concise. they can even tell you I just have 5 min to listening to you. lets listen so we can move forward. tell me what needs to be done. they second guess people content center listener: very detail oriented. avoiding and termination can happen in either order Bonding Integrating| Intensifying| Experimenting| Initiating|     |Differentiating |Circumscribing |Stagnating |Avoiding |Termination Conville’s helical model 1) No set time periods to be in a stage 2) Takes history into account 3) Cannot be further apart than resynthesis  to security  4) Always moving forward  Both people are on the model but one person can be ahead of the other  You can only be 4 steps apart at farthest  Security: when we first meet someone (initiation) Is the relationship initiating according to our expectations? .        Knapp’s Staircase Model: up: initiating can be direct/indirect. want to now every side of the problems. stagnating is not talking anymore just existing.saying “mine and yours”. they will play devil advocate. differentiating can be +/. intensifying is the honeymoon face (“the talk” comes at the end). circumscribing is spending time away from someone.    center listener: you focus on the person how they are action center listener: interested in action. are very goal oriented individuals time center listener: is someone who is focus on the message to be short. integrating is becoming part of each others daily life.

R3…) shows we are good with the redefinition We enter into a new Alienation. Resynthesis again… Sometimes we jump through stages “a sprint” i. face work.    . access rights Costs: sharing Comparison level of alternative: comparing our significant other to different people.e. governed by norm of reciprocity Conflict: interaction between interdependent people who perceive incompatible goals and interference in obtaining those goals Don’t waste your time in conflict if there is no interdependence Perceive is the key word. our perception is our reality Interpersonal conflict is commonly defined as the interaction of interdependent people who perceive incompatible goals and interference from each other in achieving those goals. religion. it is difficult and usually remembered Content conflict: public is easily verified. politics. a women gives divorce papers to an unexpected husband and “flings him to resynthesis from security” Significant events in our relationship influence these stages Every relationship we’ve ever been in has one Social exchange theory: rewards minus costs equal outcome of relationship Rewards: intimacy. deals with things we hold close to ourselves. Image conflict: self presentation.                      Disintegration: when we notice that something is off You let it go but you put your guard up Alienation: you decide something is wrong and you have to figure out what you’re going to do about it Characterized by a lack of communication Resynthesis: you figured it out and decided what you’re going to do about it You redesigned the relationship (or changed your actions) You reframe the situation in your own mind sometimes and the other person doesn’t even realize You become comfortable and you move through the stages again Each new stage (R2. etc. private is dealing with an issue Value conflict: whether you think something is right or wrong in a relationship.

Although peoples need of others is a basic. Conflict is goal oriented. If you do not have a relationship with that person it isn’t important enough to have a conflict with. Don’t like president.public.     Relational conflict: deals primarily with relational issues and viability of the relationship (changes that are made) “I feel you don’t value our relationship” how you are being treated in the relationship. People rank conflicts with others one of the most critical stressors they experience. Mom see’s own child as baby even thought is 30. Have no resolutions. neither person will bend. child is an adult. Interdependence is the main reason that conflicts is a natural and inevitable part of life. they think others stand in the way of the achievement of personal goals. Content conflict.relate more closely to the relationship. I hate bowling. fundamental human desire.private. The most we relay on each other the more potential there is for observing differences and being affected by them Perception. Incompatible goals-people goal differ. Don’t like new girlfriend of friend.psychological process involved in sensing meaning. Public issue. Types of Conflict Image conflict. Meta conflict: conflict about the ways that you engage in conflict  Defining conflict Selective perception is a central dynamic conflict interactions people thought different things and attributed different motives to one another Interdependence-people involved in the conflict are in a relationship together and relay on one another.“substantive” revolve around issue.            .issue outside relationship Personal issue.concerns self presentation. Conflict with another about one’s sense of oneself. can be over simple every day tasks. Friends like bowling Content can be subdivided. something happening all the time. interdependent people have perceive that they have incompatible goals People judge themselves and their conversational partners based on how well they communicate and how successful they are in reaching their conversational goal. Serial conflict: long term relationship.

many times the facts don’t add up.” Four part (conflict) process model: in any conflict there are 4 parts me. Distracting: taking the subject out of the situation. Four part model of elements of a conflict as occurring simultaneously within a conflict interaction Distal context – background that frames the specific conflict. Meta-conflicts – conflicts about the way you conduct conflict. Proximal context refers to the rules emotions and beliefs of the individual involved in the conflict. Private content conflict: “you are always late. Serial Conflicts. discounting the you. at any point we can take one of these out of the equation Placating: taking the me out of the situation. Feelings about abortion Relational Conflicts.conflicts that recur over time in peoples everyday lives. You make the argument seem reasonable but there is problems with the emotional part of it.relationship between two people. Contains the history between the two parties and the areas of disagreement they have discussed in the past. context (emotions). Agree to keep place clean. etc. subject (the argument). Husband leaving clothes on floor.immediate results after the conflict interaction           .      Value conflict. I’m going to tell you just as it is I wont be nice with your needs Computing: taking the emotion out of the situation. without a resolution. you are at a slow speed. Conflict interaction. taking care of your needs understanding others Pouncing: taking the you out of the situation. it might be you begin to talk about the dishes but your roommates tells you a story and you never actually get the time to talk about the dishes Explanatory process model: context and outcomes in terms of distal outcomes (background) and proximal outcomes (here and now) : what we are doing right then . what you are left with are facts.content is specifically and question of right and wrong. what is important is the emotional part. you.difference between the partners become a problem and one or both people begin to address the issue Proximal outcomes.

we have more than one. characterized for a low concerns for you and others. we do whatever it takes to win. Distal outcome. use it if dealing with someone who is not rational. good strategy for a little while= dealing with someone who is not rational. Competition: winning.conflicts are never completely over. not always a bad thing. There are times we need to accommodate (remember) is important to build up a relationship it shows that you care about them in a lovingly way. is problematic when you are willing to break the rules. High concern for other low concern for yourself.  Avoidance: buring our head in the sand. withholding something. Good thing: usually really popular. sometimes used to manipulate or get ahead (brown-noser). By not doing anything we don’t really care a bout. Illustrate the different conflict styles you can use in dealing with conflicts. often because we have exhausted our other options. bad thing: can be taken advantage of people walk over them. Competition hurts self-esteem and prepares you for the real world. is a necessary thing. Direct use of power: no doubt that you are exercising control Virtual power: essentially a threat (blackmail) Indirect use of power: having someone else suggest something. can be passive aggressive (can be unintentional) Hidden use of power: exercising power that someone didn’t know you had  Filey’s conflict grid: our conflict style. naturally nice people who don’t like conflict. residue of having engaged in the conflict and the feelings that both the participants have about their interaction. at some point there is a place for this in every relationship. sometimes used to fit in. My way or the high way. often one for public and one within private self. both people perform better. Accommodation: giving in a lot. S about standing up for your self       . High concern for self and low for others. The two people competing results in both of them doing better-working harder.

` Pursuit withdrawal: someone brings something up and you saw “we will do it later” Withdrawal pursuit: when the other person doesn’t except something Distal context: the background that frames a specific conflict Proximal context: rules. beliefs of the individuals involved in a conflict . Not every issue has to be about collaboration it sometimes just makes you lose time if the conflict s small. Is when you have high concerns for self and others. everyone gets a little. a good strategy if the issue is important. Compromise: no one is truly happy. Is the easy solution. Is always a lose –lose situation. together you work a plan on how something is going to work.      Collaboration: everyone knows where everyone stands. emotions. Works best is you have limited resources and the stakes are not high. You compromise. it may be the best solution or it may not be.

e. a women gives divorce papers to an unexpected husband and “flings him to resynthesis from security” Significant events in our relationship influence these stages Every relationship we’ve ever been in has one Metahelics can prepare us for bigger hellics                 . R3…) shows we are good with the redefinition We enter into a new Alienation. Resynthesis again… Sometimes we jump through stages “a sprint” i.11/30/2011 8:50:00 AM  |Termination  Conville’s helical model  1) No set time periods to be in a stage  2) Takes history into account  3) Cannot be further apart than resynthesis to security  4) Always moving forward  Both people are on the model but one person can be ahead of the other  You can only be 4 steps apart at farthest  Security: when we first meet someone (initiation) Is the relationship initiating according to our expectations? Disintegration: when we notice that something is off You let it go but you put your guard up Alienation: you decide something is wrong and you have to figure out what you’re going to do about it Characterized by a lack of communication Resynthesis: you figured it out and decided what you’re going to do about it You redesigned the relationship (or changed your actions) You reframe the situation in your own mind sometimes and the other person doesn’t even realize You become comfortable and you move through the stages again Each new stage (R2.

Enjoy solidary activities (Ex. Kiersey-bates comes from the Meyers-briggs  Myers-Briggs Personality test o Extroversion – Introversion (E-I) Where do you get energy from?  Extroversion           Introversion          o Get energy from within/ solitarie activities.11/30/2011 8:50:00 AM    Personality: relatively stable set of characteristics that guide your behavior Personality some aspects can be highlighted and shaped based on our environment. Territorials Get energy from other people Profound need to be around others Sometimes communicate without thinking Like meeting new people/wide range of relationships Outgoing Comfortable in variety of environments Strong desire to be around people Talk first think second Sensing – Intuition (S-N) – how you gather data  Sensing   “show me” state Like to use the 5 senses to gather information . Reading a book) Think before speaking about relational consequences Analytical Cautious with other individuals Stressed when around lots of people or in chaotic situations Are really reflective/ analyze relationships The relationships they have are usually very closed.

         Will notice changes in their environments Someone will notice traffic signs/ speed limit changes Detail oriented because they like to see what and how they will do it. Like to follow Instructions/plans are important Highly organized – good work habits Like to figure out the best way to do something >>>>follow plans Technical feeling Detailed oriented people Intuition       “big picture” Very creative Think globally Think outside the box Overall connections Very attracted to theories and things that can be interpreted differently   Very comfortable with personal experiences They trust they’re instinct o Thinking – Feeling (T-F) – how you solve a problem/what guides your decisions ?  Thinking     Feeling     Governed by their feelings Will fight the rules Doing what you feel What your think is right Relies on rationale and logic Will follow or create the rules Creates more rules for everyone to be on the same page o Judging – Perceiving (J-P) – how you live your daily life  Judging  Quick decisions (Ex. Purchases. TV shows) . people.

   Take so much time that they end up boxing themselves They question they’re decisions . Things to Do Likes for things to be closed Risk takers Impulsive Jump in with both feet If they want to do something they have to figure out everything Annoyed by indecisiveness make prompt decisions  Perceiving      Doesn’t like to make decision quickly Will often get pushed back into a corner Gets stressed out when things are closed to quickly Going to test to see if water is cold before jumping in Hard time making decisions.        Overall planners – Ex. because they want to make sure they make the best decisions.

11/30/2011 8:50:00 AM  .

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