Angels of Death By: Zack Schulz Episode One: Pilot Part 1: The Proposition White.

White is all they saw as they awoke. Not sure of what had happened before the present time, two brothers, Kurt and Sam Watts, stood in a canvas of colorless serenity. Absolute nothingness surrounded them. Kurt was the first to begin to recognize the mysterious nature of their predicament. Unfortunately, he only became more confused, for there was nothing to hint what would happen next. The setting was literally completely white, a feeling of no feeling whatsoever. Neutrality. A booming noise broke the silence. “Choose your weapon.” A deep voice coming from nowhere surrounded the Watts. Kurt looked to his brother Sam, who seemed to be in a daze. His emotionless stare out into the whiteness was an enigma. Kurt then turned his head to see a change in scenery. Before him laid six weapons, though they were too far away to clearly recognize each weapon and its purpose. The voice boomed again. “Choose your weapon.” A mystery that puzzled Kurt for about a half of a minute until Kurt decided to let his impulsive nature fly out. He slowly stepped forward to give the weapons his full analysis. Sam was still standing blank; seemingly unaware of what was happening. Kurt turned his head around to make sure his brother was still there. Kurt quickly glanced at each weapon until his attention gathered on two submachine guns. Knowing only about guns from what he had learned in action movies, Kurt made his decision instantly. “Dibs on the guns.” He smirked and he reached out to grab the guns. As his hands drew closer to the weapons, Sam awoke from his unawareness. He saw Kurt reach for the guns. As soon as Kurt laid his hands on the guns, he disappeared. “Kurt? Kurt!” Sam panicked at the loss of his brother. He rushed towards the weapons. “Choose your weapon.” “What have you done to Kurt?” Sam yelled back as he looked up into nothingness. Confused about his situation, Sam continued to yell. “Who are you? What do you want?” He continued asking questions he would not be given an answer to until he complied with the voice’s demands. “Choose your weapon. Kurt is fine.” The voice reassured him. “I won’t do shit until you tell me where Kurt is.” Sam demanded, shouting upwards to whatever force was talking to him. Kurt’s voice then revealed itself. “Sam, just pick a frickin’ weapon, I’m fine.” He said calmly. Sam decided to believe his brother’s voice, for the situation was already confusing enough. He approached the five weapons left. He decided to analyze them carefully, because apparently this decision was important, seeing as the voice told him to do it over and over again. The first weapon that came to his view was two short daggers, placed in a ‘X’ position. The handles seemed to be surrounded by burgundy colored leather. The weapons seemed appealing enough, slick and easy to control. They seemed useful to use as throwing knives. He then shifted left to view the second set of weapons. He saw a bag with light blue bulbs coming out. He looked closer at the interior of the bag, but could only see two or three small ball-like objects. What they could do, Sam did not know.


“What are these things?” “Weapons.” The voice simply replied back to Sam’s disapproval. He decided to simply skip that weapon, not knowing what it did. He approached the next weapon, which appeared to simply be a stick. At the top of this stick was a small precious stone that Sam could not make out. Sam thought for a few seconds and decided that it might be a magical staff, like something from Dungeons and Dragons. He then realized how ridiculous that seemed, but he was in a ridiculous situation anyway, so it was fine. He quickly passed by the bow and the quiver of arrows, remembering the times back in summer camp when he would never quite understand the meticulous nature of archery. The daggers still on his mind as the weapon of choice, Sam approached the last weapon, two swords. Straight blade, about two and half feet long, these swords looked quite threatening. The swords instantly pleased Sam, and Sam reached out to make his decision. Before finally touching the swords, he hesitated for a few seconds, and then grabbed the two swords, choosing his weapon for the challenges that awaited him. Sam suddenly saw himself in a new setting. Though it was still all white with no color, there were new objects that were in view ahead of him. He looked to his left and saw his brother standing there staring at the objects in front of them. They were too far away to clearly make out the objects. The voice made another command. “Choose a word.” It said, as the brothers looked at each other, confused. “A word?” Kurt said as he approached the objects. As he approached closer, he realized what the objects were. “They’re each one word… Just floating in mid air.” Kurt’s observation was correct, in front of him were thirty words. They were elevated about five feet into the air by nothing. Each was a simple black text, easy to read with the contrasting white background. Sam approached to join Kurt in reading each word. “So, are these words supposed to describe our personality or something?” he asked. “I don’t think so, some of these words just seem very random. Like this… ‘Sound.’” Kurt replied as he slowly walked to the left. “Any idea what they mean?” Sam asked as he walked to the right. “Beats me. Oh look at this one. Intercourse. I think this one would be perfect for me. “ Kurt joked, giving Sam a small nervous chuckle. They continued to read off words. “Passion… Aquatic… Anger…” Kurt read as he strolled along. “I think I found mine…” Kurt said as he stopped at the word. “Humor…” he stated. This made since because Kurt was a novice stand-up comedian and the word perfectly matched his character. “Ok I’ve chosen my word Sam. Tell me when you’ve got your’s.” he said, pondering over his word. Sam continued to search for his words. “Greed… Nature… Nursing…” he read off as he became closer to reaching the end of the line of words. “Ok this one looks interesting… Flame.” Sam decided, waiting for Kurt’s approval. “Sounds good to me, on the count of three, we’ll touch at the same time.” Kurt said as he counted down. 3… 2… 1… They both grasped onto the text of the words they chose. Humor for Kurt and flame for Sam. The setting again changed only slightly. There was still no color, all


white. Instead of the objects there was one single man. He wore a tuxedo and had dark brown eyes. His hair was aged with gray, but still had a rather brown base to it. He simply stood there, motionless. He looked like he was a little passed middle aged, but not elderly. His look was unsettling, his eyes stared through the brothers’ souls, and the mood was starting to take a more solemn approach. “Hello. My name is John.” He said in a calm yet unsettling voice. “Hi, what the hell is going on?” Kurt said in a fake polite tone. Sam kept a more stern face, still trying to remember what had happened before they had been in this situation. What had they been? He thought intensely, but could not remember past the first time he saw that white light. Was this amnesia? Or something more? “You two have been chosen to revise a system we call the Angels of Death.” John said. “Like the Grim Reaper?” Kurt said disbelievingly. “Not exactly. I have plenty of explaining to do.” John stated and Kurt crossed his arms and sat down on the white ground. “Ok I’m listening then,” he said as Sam still tried to figure out what was going on. He stared off to see some sort of other contrast to the white that had surrounded him. The brothers were trapped in nothingness, all white. Nothing could signify any escape for them. “I’m assuming you boys know about heaven and hell?” John asked smugly. “Yes, if you’re a good boy then you go to heaven and if you’re bad you go to Hell we’ve heard it all before.” Kurt hurried, enthralled about what John had to say next. “Well, we got rid of Hell.” John flatly stated. “What do you mean ‘you got rid of Hell?’ Where do all the ‘bad people’ go then?” “Well I’m going to get to that.” John stated before Sam interrupted. “Wait, heaven and hell? This has to do with the afterlife? I’ve never been very religious myself. How do we know this is all real?” he demanded proof. “Fine, how about this?” John said as he snapped his fingers. The scenery drastically changed, from white nothingness to luscious green meadows. The changed was blended in with a fast motion then disoriented the brothers, while John kept a deadpan face. John then raised his hands, creating letters above his head. Good enough? Seeing as their situation would not improve or end if the brothers did not slightly believe that this could all be possible, they decided to give the prospect of this reality a chance. “Ok, continue on then…” Sam concluded, ready for John’s story. “Well, first off. You were both killed in a car accident.” Silence… The silence continued for about ten seconds. The brothers dashed their thoughts through their heads, wondering how this man could say something like this with absolutely no emotion. Kurt eventually broke the silence. “Sam was driving wasn’t he?” Kurt forced in another joke.


“Dammit Sam you’re such a shitty driver.” He laughed, taking his own death so lightly. Sam joined Kurt in this fake jovial attitude. They shared a soft short laugh, as John continued on shortly afterwards. “As you know, you’re not going to Hell.” John stated. “But unfortunately your lives have not been pure enough to achieve access into the promise land.” He added afterwards. “We can’t get into heaven? So what happens to us now? Purgatory?” Sam frantically asked. “Sam, you stated that you weren’t religious, how much do you know about religion?” John asked. “About as much as a high school could teach me.” “The reality is, each religion is right in their own way, and wrong in other ways. Yes there is a heaven, there is a God, and there was a Hell. The common misconception is the accessibility of Hell. You had to be… just plain evil to earn yourself a spot in Hell. By last year, we had only 3900 souls in Hell. So God decided that He wanted to abolish Hell for whatever reason. Last night, Hell was officially closed.” “So where do impure souls go now? We simply do the same we’ve always been doing since the beginning of time. They are reincarnated. They die, completely forget the previous life they lived, and start off new. Their personalities are often changed by the new surroundings around them, and hopefully they earn their spot in the Promised Land through this next life. Unfortunately they usually don’t.” “It takes the average souls 45 ‘tries’ to finally access heaven. Kurt you’re on your 3rd life, Sam you’re on your 20th.” “Wait, according to this, how many ‘new’ souls are created each day?” Kurt chimed in. “Each time a soul gains access into heaven, a new soul is created. It has been like that for about 90,000 years now. So Kurt, your soul’s ‘birthday’ was November 6th 1881. Sam I forgot your’s, but it was sometime in the 15th century.” “Anyways, my proposition. You two have been chosen to become Angels of Death. You essentially ‘restart’ those out in the world that simply need to be killed.” “Wait wait wait, who judges who ‘needs to be killed?’” Sam asked. John simply pointed upwards “Him. He will choose who must be ‘reset.’ Trust me, they’re for good reasons.” John stated sternly as he pointed up into the heavens. “So we’re going to kill people that God believes deserve to die?” Sam asked, following a short pause. “Actually sounds rather exciting.” Sam said with a subtle smile. Sam’s life had always been locked in his imagination, allowing little bits of it to flow into his works of writing. Sam was a struggling author in his previous life, and had a self-esteem that continuously fell until the day of his death. Sam was open to the idea of complete change, and this change seemed to be an adventurous one. Comic books were always Sam’s favorite, ranging from X-Men to Ghost Rider, Sam had collected comic books since he was a pre-teenager. This new life was appealing for Sam, for it brought a radical overhaul and arresting change to his otherwise unsuccessful life. Kurt however, always had a different outlook on life. “Always find a time to laugh,” was his motto. While not a tremendously successful comedian, Kurt never felt discontented to continue what he was doing. Each hardship would bring another joke for


Kurt to use in his routine. Kurt’s eulogy for his father was a stand-up routine with every joke relating to his deceased father. Sam often relied on Kurt’s nature to gladden himself and find a fuller outlook on life. A simple joke would usually lighten up Sam’s spirits during the hard times of their life. Unfortunately, Sam would often shun Kurt for making an occasional off-color joke at an inappropriate time. Kurt would always shake off those complaints with a smile. Kurt always accepted his older brother for what he was, and always believed that if he simply took the best out of it, he would be happy. This outlook was ultimately successful, for Kurt had been happy for most of his life, although he would often have to tell himself over and over again that his happiness was still inside him, and that his happiness was normal. Depression has started to become conformity in this world. “I don’t know if I want to physically kill someone,” Kurt objected, not sure he could make a slight joke after shooting a man in the head. The idea disgusted him, for Kurt had always been rather squeamish, not even being able to watch a simple horror movie. “You’ll receive information on each person you ‘take care of,’ and trust me, once you read their files, you will not have any trouble pulling that trigger,” John assured Kurt. “Again, this is completely voluntary. However, the reward is great. After your first kill, you will have access to heaven once you quit the program.” John said with a smile. This statement convinced Sam to join, but Sam would not join without Kurt, who still was not fully convinced to join a program that killed people every day. “And if we don’t accept?” Kurt made his final question. “Then you will both be reincarnated. Your life will be completely forgotten, and it will be extremely unlikely that you’ll ever see each other again.” John said seriously. That statement fully convinced Kurt to join the program. “Ok, I accept.” Kurt said, looking at Sam. Somehow in Kurt’s mind, he knew that Sam was already excited about this project. Kurt was less so, but could not leave his brother. “I accept as well.” Sam said, although ready for more questions for John. “But first, how are we supposed to kill these people? I’m not the best fighter out there, and I’m sure Kurt couldn’t hurt a flower. Do we get some sort of powers?” Sam asked enthusiastically. “You seem to understand His mind Sam. Yes He has set you up with a variety of special skills accustomed with your weapon and characteristic.” John answered. “Our word? So I assume that I’m going to get some sort of fire power?” Sam said even more excitingly. “Wow, you’re a genius.” John said sarcastically. “Then what would Kurt’s power be? Humor doesn’t suggest much power.” Sam questioned as he looked at Kurt, who seemed to be less interested in these questions. “Do like cartoons Kurt?” John asked with a smirk. This instantly caught Kurt’s full attention. “I love cartoons.” Kurt said as he looked up. Kurt did indeed love cartoons. He had a rather strong opinion on each cartoon known by man as well. He believed that cartoons were losing a lot of their quality, no longer capturing the magic that oldfashioned two dimensional zaniness that more aged cartoons had. While still believing that some cartoons still retained that quality, most were becoming too mainstream and unoriginal to be as memorable as the cartoons he would watched a child. The overall message that laughter is the most powerful weapon one has especially appealed to Kurt.


Although many would disagree, Kurt always stood by the idea that a positive and humorous nature would always make a man and his surroundings happier. John simply winked at Kurt, only suggesting the idea that his ‘power’ would be related to the nature of cartoons. While the brothers still had many questions unasked, John started to wrap up his adlibbed explanation of the entire history of time. The way John simply stated such radical ideas in such a mild way astounded the brothers, but they were eager to continue on, to whatever adventures awaited them. “Well it’s about time I say goodbye for now. You’ll see me often, so don’t be too afraid,” John said ironically, for he himself was a man who caused fear in the brothers. “Wait, where are we going?” Sam asked quickly. “We have a ‘special’ loft for you two in Bay City,” John said as he hinted that things were done. Bay City was located on the East Coast of the United States on the outskirts of New York City. While not in the ugly undesirable areas of the city, the area was still excessively urbanized. It was a typical middle class area that resided off of New York City. It was in the middle of a very populous city where attention was always available. John quickly wrapped up the conversation. “Ok then, see you boys tomorrow,” he said and snapped his fingers. Black. Part 2: Omniscient Point of View Omniscient point of view is a term that is well known as being ‘God’s point of view.’ This term is used to describe literary works such as novels like this one. An omniscient point of view is when the narrator of the story can reach into the characters thoughts and has every view of the story possible. It is as if there was an over looking eye watching over the plot, keeping track of the events that unfold. So far in this story, an omniscient point of view has been shown to tell the story of the Watts brothers. However, there has not been a hint of who this narrator might be. Well, I’m the narrator, so now this novel has become a first-person story. However, how am I able to follow into these characters’ minds? Well that goes into the definition of omniscience. I, the narrator of this story, am your omniscient God. I am, in fact, the creator of all life. This is a true story (note from author: This is not a true story) about a select group of people that are essentially my bounty hunters, and I decided to pass it down onto Earth for mortals to read for a further understanding of who I am, and what these people have done. So I assume you, the reader, are ready to ask me plenty of questions, which is fine. Unfortunately to gain access to me, you must have access into ‘heaven.’ Which I assume you don’t have right now since you’re alive and well, reading this. My goal is to give everyone a clearer image of my ‘life’ and my creation, because frankly, you’ve all screwed it up pretty bad. So to start, I want to clear this novel of anymore quotes (like ‘heaven’) and give you the real terms I prefer for many of the supernatural words that will be ever present in this story. First off, Heaven is Heaven. The name came up a little before I sent Jesus onto the earth and I’ve liked it since. Second off, my name is God. Simply put, I like a simple name like God, and I’ve always been called that ever since the beginning of your time.


The Angels of Death I like to abbreviate to AODs, simply because I don’t want to type so much. A human life is simply called life. Death, whether it is a murder or a natural cause, is a death. Honestly, I’m a much simpler being that people make me out to be. The question newcomers into Heaven always ask me is when and how I was born. I cannot even answer that, for I do not remember that far back. I do not know how I came to be, I simply remember back to when I created life. I do not know the exact date I did this, so all you religions can keep arguing about it, it is actually entertaining that you all fight about such mundane things. I remember exactly what I did though when I created life. It took quite a while too. Not this seven days (or six as I count, because a day of rest does not count in my personal opinion) explanation. It took 320 years for me to create the universe, 500 years to create my first being, and 1050 years to create the first human. You are all a lot more complex than you think. One thing I want to dispose of instantly is the constant belief that I have a ‘grand master plan’ for everything. Let me get this straight, I don’t have a plan for anything. My whole purpose of creating life was to watch how it would play out. So why would I ruin it by planning out each and every event and spoiling everything I watch? People don’t understand how moronic their idea of a ‘grand master plan’ is. Where’s the fun in that? Plans aren’t fun, spontaneous actions are. I cannot kill a human being. I simply cannot. Many people ask me why I cannot, I always reply ‘I cannot kill what I have created.’ This is the reason I sent the Watts brothers and other AODs to kill the people who I felt simply needed to be killed. Death is about as agonizing as people make it out to be. It is the final test one goes through before his final evaluation. If they pass, they come visit me in heaven. If they fail, back to Earth. Before I return to the Watts brothers’ story, I would like to answer one final question that I know is on everyone’s mind, and is also important to the story. Many of you are probably wondering how I, one being, can create and manage such a huge thing such as the universe. Well, it’s actually pretty simple. I branch my being out into about three million different beings. That is, I essentially make three million ‘Gods,’ and assign them to separate jobs. You are reading from the ‘scholar God.’ Each experience and event that happens to these separate Gods all comes back to me. I know everything my Gods do and learn from it. No, I don’t have angels doing my job. Angels have earned their spot in heaven and deserve to relax, not work. How am I able to branch myself off into these many Gods? Well, I’m God. So onto the brothers, after all, that is what this story is about. I wouldn’t have written a novel if I didn’t think it was so enthralling. Part 3: Irony Kurt awoke first. The first image he saw was the wooden ceiling that covered over his room. He slowly turned, still under his silk sheets, towards a night table that accompanied his king-sized bed. He saw a radio clock on the table along with a modern lamp that looked like it was from Ikea. The clock said 8:30 on it, and the light that shone in through the windows told Kurt that it was morning. He started to sit up, and noticed that he was completely naked. He examined the room. The wallpaper was a dark brown, with Adam Duritz and Samurai Jack posters. It was almost like a teenager’s room. There was a closet at the other side of the room. Kurt walked to the closet and opened it. It only had one outfit on it. This was the exact outfit Kurt desired: a gray t-shirt, a pair of socks, a pair of green boxers, and a pair


of worn out jeans. He continued and dressed himself with these clothes, but pondered why there would be only one pair in the closet. He closed the closet door and looked at the blandness of the room. The only furniture the well-sized room had was the bed and the night table. The bed was dressed with dark blue silk sheets, along with three fluffy black pillows. Knowing that answers were outside the door that was at the right corner of the room, Kurt continued to walk towards the door. He grabbed the doorknob and turned it slowly. The door creaked open slowly, and Kurt peeked his head out of the little crack he created. He continued to move out into the room. The door lead to a small hall, and next to his door was another door, which was closed. The door had the name “Sam” on it, and as Kurt closed his door, he noticed his door had “Kurt” on it as well. One thing Kurt noticed was the distance between the two doors. They were about four feet away from each other, but that would be impossible because the interior of Kurt’s room stretched at least fifteen feet to the left, which in turn would then cross into Sam’s room. Kurt pondered at this paradox for a few seconds, but then decided to continue his exploration of his new home. Kurt turned his head, seeing the way the hall ended. On one side, the hall ended with a door, surrounded by a wall adorned with bricks and mortar. On the other side, the hall ended with more space. Kurt walked towards the open space, and as he walked he discovered the space turned into the kitchen and the living room of a large loft apartment. The kitchen was decorated with granite countertops, a silver refrigerator, a cupboard, and stools that were adjacent to an extended counter top that view upon a long window. Kurt walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. It was filled with carrots, Kurt’s favorite vegetable, and coincidentally exactly what Kurt was craving for at the time. Not afraid to eat, Kurt took a carrot, and without peeling it, chomped on it raw. Kurt then went on to examine the comfortable living room. The first thing he noticed was the size of the black leather modular couch. It would be able to fit at least ten people comfortably. It was placed against the wall, with the long window spread above it. The couch was watching the 50 inch plasma television that hung over the wall. A table joined the modular couch, resting in between the U-shaped piece of furniture. The walls were all dressed with brick, leaving an industrial look to the whole apartment. Kurt found another door on the other side of the living room. On it there seemed to be a sticky note. From his distance, however, Kurt could not read it. He instead decided to wait for Sam to depart from his room. Coincidentally, Sam’s door opened instantly after that thought. Sam slowly opened his door, as Kurt did. He looked out and saw Kurt in the kitchen, still eating his carrot. He walked more casually towards Kurt, still confused about the situation. “Guess that wasn’t a dream,” Sam said, scratching his head. “Yeah, nice place though,” Kurt reassured Sam as he took another bite. “Where’d you get that carrot?” “In the fridge, it’s full of them” “Let me see,” Sam said as he walked towards the refrigerator and opened it. However, there were no carrots in the fridge, only packs of beef jerky. “Beef jerky? Don’t mind if I do,” Sam said as he grabbed a pack. “Jerky? But it was filled with carrots when I opened it,” Kurt said. “Here, let me try something,” he said as he closed the fridge door. After a moment, he opened it again. This time it was full of marijuana.


“I see, whatever you want at the time you open the fridge, you get,” Kurt said with a smile. “Ok, this is really weird,” Sam said as he stepped back. Although Sam was the one more willing to start the program, he was the one who was in more disbelief. Kurt urged him on to continue. “Well there’s another door down there. I think we might have to go in there for more answers.” Kurt said pointing down the living room. They gingerly walked through the living room. Sam, impressed by the sizable television, took off the sticky note on the door on the other side of the room. “Come in here for your first assignment” Eager for more answers, the brothers instantly reached for the doorknob. Sam was the first to reach it, and Kurt pulled back his hand. Sam slowly opened the door, but there was no light coming out. In fact, it was pitch black in the room. Nevertheless, Sam advanced forward slowly. Kurt followed, almost finished with his carrot. They went into the darkness, which soon changed to a lighter setting, but that wasn’t saying much. The new room they were in was still dark, with the brick wall surrounding this room as well. Light gradually revealed the room, and the brothers saw a podium with a scroll on it. Next to the podium was John, standing in his same outfit, luring over the room. “Come in, we need to hurry.” John said sternly, as the boys closed the door and approached John. John’s appearance intimidated the brothers less in this second meeting, which actually surprised me because after all this time that I’ve known John, I’m still scared of his freaky nature. But who cares, I’m only God. “If you didn’t already notice, your home is very special. The fridge, cupboard, and closet all contain the one thing you specifically want at that given moment, so you have essentially everything you need in there. Also this room can become anything you want it to be, I suggest a training room, you boys are going to need it.” John explained. “This parchment right here is The List. This contains the profile of the people you need to kill. Whenever the list is updated, you will know. When the person is put on the list that means we want you to kill that person as soon as possible. Failure to do so can cause serious problems. Right now we have your first kill ready for you, but first I need to give a short overview of what you boys are capable of.” “The quintessential ability we gave you is the ability to teleport to anyplace in the world at anytime. We feel it is the most useful power you boys can have, for it can pull you out of sticky situations and bring you to the kill as fast as possible before something horrible happens. Let me teach you how to teleport.” John said as he spread out his arms. “Teleportation is quite possibly the easiest power we gave you. All you have to do it think about the place you want to be, and…” John said before he disappeared and reappeared about ten feet away. A small trail of dust was the evidence of the teleportation, as John stood there, expressionless over his amazing ability. “Go ahead and try it. It’s fun.” He said with a small smile. Sam was the first to try it. He simply closed his eyes, and reappeared next to John. Amazed at the simplicity of something so unbelievable, Sam gave a giant grin. “I feel like Nightcrawler,” he said, referencing the X-Men. Kurt then ported next to Sam, also amazed at the simplicity of the ability. They turned to each other and smiled. “Glad to see you like teleporting, because you two will probably be doing it a lot.” John continued on.


“Now for your weapons, Kurt you chose the two guns. You might be wondering where they are. They are actually inside of you. You can summon them whenever you feel like it. Go ahead and try it.” John signaled to Kurt. Kurt raised his arms, and concentrated on bringing whatever force his weapons needed to be shown. It turned out that there was no force needed, when Kurt desired the weapons, they simply appeared from his hands, almost as if they were fused into his skin. They were not, however, for he was able to switch them from hand to hand, and could let go of them at anytime. “Unlimited ammo, and will not harm the innocent. See, watch.” John said as he pulled out his own gun and shot Sam, startling him. The bullets simply absorbed into his skin, not harming him in anyway. “Jesus Christ, don’t do that again,” Sam said, catching his breath. “Sam, your weapons were the swords, go ahead and take them out.” John demanded as Sam did the same as Kurt. With the same easiness he made the sword appear in his hands. “Congrats, we also made you a master at handling those swords. You will have no problem wielding them. However, be careful, unlike Kurt’s weapon, those swords will harm the innocent as well as the evil.” John explained and Sam examined his sharp swords, impressed by the craftwork of the weapons. “Now that you know about your weapons and ability to teleport, it’s now time for the fun part, your personal powers.” John said, smirking directly at Kurt. “Sam you can summon fire through your body, whether it be from your hands or your mouth. I personally prefer the fire spit method, just because it looks so cool. Go ahead and try it out.” John explained quickly as Sam focused his energy on his hands. With no effort at all, he summoned a small flame and kept it ignited with his hand. “Now try throwing it.” John said as Sam threw out his hand. The fire traveled in a distinct path. Sam then moved his hands back, as the trail followed his movements. Sam then swirled his hands, and the fire made a tornado-like object, circling above their heads. He then called back the fire, impressed by the ability to do so. “Cool, ain’t it?” John said, now with a full smile, something that is really rare of John to show. “Yes, very much so.” Sam said, completely ecstatic over this ability. “Now Kurt, you have my favorite. Your word choice was ‘humor,’ which me and Him both said no one would ever chose, simply because the word did not resemble any sort of power. But we still gave quite possibly the most creative power to the word. Kurt, think hard. Think really hard. Where do you want to be right now? If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?” John asked, looking at Kurt think. “Umm… The beach?” Kurt replied, not really thinking much though. “Well, illustrate it in your mind, but try to imagine it really existing.” John said as Kurt closed his eyes the think. The setting suddenly changed from the dark room to an illustration of a beach. Accustomed with noises and actions, the beach was not real however, but a drawing. A cartoon represented Kurt’s mind, and was present for all to see. “Open your eyes Kurt,” John said softly. Kurt was amazed at the setting. The beach seemed so cartoony, but so pleasant. He took time to let it soak into his mind. The beach was exactly like he imagined it. Even the crude lines that created the choppily animated waves were correct. “As you can see, whatever you imagine will appear in a cartoon form. Now I can’t say this ‘beach’ is perfect, but you’ll catch the hang of it. Try creating a character.”


Kurt retreated his beach and then created a small water drop with eyes. It fell to the ground and bounced and bounced. The sound it made was cutesy but lovable, and the new character brought a smile to Kurt’s face. “Each character you create will be your own, where you can build its personality and interests. Think hard when you create these characters, for they can aid you in your journey. Be creative, this ability can better your life and even save it at times. You have, in my opinion, the best ability of them all. Use it wisely.” John said as Kurt kept a giant smile. Kurt was finally able to bring his favorite cartoon characters to life, and had every intention to do so. “Now for your assignment…” John continued before Sam interrupted. “Wait, we’re killing someone already? Don’t we need time to learn how to use our powers” he asked. “No. I’ve always felt that the best way to learn something is by simply doing it. Killing applies to this theory perfectly in my opinion. So come take a look at The List.” John urged on as Sam and Kurt slowly walked towards the podium with the aged parchment on top of it. In gothic calligraphy, the words “The List” titled the document, and only one other text accompanied the title. Robert Goldman “Robert here, is your first assignment.” John said sternly. “Want to know more about him? Touch his name…” John said as Sam reached out his hand and touched the name. The List projected a full image against the brick wall. The image seemed to be a portfolio, complete with a large picture of the victim, which looked like a mug shot. The name of the criminal was in large text above. Below the title was another subtitle simply titled “Reason,” which had two words below it. The text under reason read: “Serial rapist” Rape has always been one the worst crimes in my opinion, even though it’s quite an ambiguous one. Sex is one of the beautiful activities I gave you humans, and to see you turn it around into something so horrible is just depressing. I love irony, but I’ve always hated rape. “So is this enough incentive to kill this man?” John asked. “Enough for me,” Sam said with confidence, still excited for his new found abilities. Kurt was more silent. “Kurt?” “Yeah, sure.” He said solemnly. “Ok, one more thing,” John said, with a giant smile. “We want to keep your identity hidden during your kills, so we’ve made outfits for you. These outfits will make you into completely different… things,” John said as he pulled out a giant mirror. What the boys saw in the mirror astounded them. They were completely different. They were not angels, but instead demons. While facial and hair features stayed the same, their skin was a completely different color. A devilish tail was seen coming from behind their bodies, as it rested on the floor. Sam opened his mouth to breath, but then saw that his teeth were now fangs. He crouched to the floor, finding the position more comfortable than standing.


Each brother had a different color. Sam’s was red. A deep dark red that could blend into alleys and other dark places. He moved his tail around, surprised by the extra body piece that he could now move around. Kurt was green. The green was dark as well, almost to the point that it looked black. Kurt was still in more of daze that Sam, unlike the first experience the brothers had as angels. “He always appreciated irony,” John said, grinning and laughing. “We look like devils,” Sam said, but not in a scornful way. He was happy with the appearance, seeing it as tough yet nimble. “With this new appearance comes more agility, but you’ll learn that later. You can change into this appearance anytime you want and change back anytime you want as well. Now get to work on your assignment boys. We’ve made it even simpler as well. You will always be able to spot out someone who is on The List, because they will be scarlet red in your eyes. You’ll literally be seeing red. Now get to work.” John said as he winked, and then teleported away. Part 4: The First Kill The first kill for any AOD is always the toughest. Something always seems to go wrong, usually ending up with the AODs to come very close to death. Kurt and Sam started this trend. Their first kill has always been the one that really kept me at the edge of my seat, because it’s always fun to watch a train wreck. The brothers stared at the projection of The List. Robert Goldman still hovered over them. His face stared at them, intimidating them to their core. “Well, let’s kill this guy then…” Kurt said, unexcited. “Now how do we find him?” “Just look at his picture and teleport?” Sam suggested. Seeing as no other option would speed things up, Kurt agreed. They looked at the picture, closed their eyes, and reopened them. They woke up to an alley. The sky was bright, but the alley was not picking any of that brightness up. The alley was damp and dark, picking up a disgusting orange as its hue. The brothers looked at each other. “What a shithole,” Sam said. “Shh… Listen.” The boys could hear a moan. It followed with another moan, and another moan. It kept a disjointed rhythm. The moans started to have a high pitch. Eventually the moans turned into screams. Though it wasn’t positive, the brothers picked up a ‘stop’ and a ‘help’ within the sound. “That’s him, stay down.” Kurt said and he crouched down. He crept down through the alley to an open metal door. No signs dressed the barren scenery. He peeked into the open door and witnessed the crime. He only caught a small glimpse, but enough to see the rapist was blazing red. Sam followed Kurt, and saw the crime. He instantly looked at Kurt to give him a sign that he was ready to take Robert out. Sam took his two swords out and busted into the room. “Let her go you sick fuck!” he yelled before he teleported behind the rapist. The victim of the rape fell to the floor and quickly stumbled out of the way and hid behind a crate on the far side of the room. The rapist quickly took out a switchblade from his


pocket and stuck it in and out of Sam’s thigh. Sam fell down in pain, shouting obscenities and dropping his swords. “I’ll take these,” the rapist said, laughing. “Who the fuck do you think you are? A swashbuckling hero? Learn how to fight before you make yourself look like a jackass,” he continued before Kurt interrupted him. Kurt used his teleportation power plenty to confuse the rapist, who was confused by the ability. However, Kurt’s guns and power of Humor were absent. The rapist dropped the swords and took out a handgun. He began shooting at Kurt. Kurt dodged each bullet with a teleportation. Without ever attacking the rapist, he simply prevented each shot from hitting him. “What the fuck are you guys?!” the rapist yelled, laughing maniacally. After this sentence Kurt teleported up to the rapist, kicking him with both feet in the air. The caused the rapist to fall to the ground, but gave him a clear shot at Kurt. He pulled the trigger one more time, and the bullet traveled straight to Kurt’s arm, piercing it all the way through. Kurt’s blood splattered to the ground, shocking the rape victim, who was crying in the corner. Kurt fell to the ground, grabbing his arm is pain. The rapist slowly stood up, while Kurt rolled around, wincing in absolute agony. The rapist whipped out his switchblade and dashed for Kurt. He ran the short distance, while Kurt contemplated what he needed to do in panic. When one is in panic, they often make the stupidest decisions, but sometimes instinct can save a man’s life. As the rapist jumped after Kurt, switchblade wide out ready to strike, instinct struck Kurt as he reached out his arm. His weapon appeared from his hand, and Kurt shot the rapist in the center of his forehead. Black blood spewed out as the rapist fell onto Kurt. Kurt quickly pushed him off and rapidly backed away. “Son of a bitch…” he muttered under his breath. He looked at the rape victim, who was in tears. She was badly bruised, hiding in the corner near Kurt. “Are you alright?” he asked her. “No, but thank you,” she said, skipping through her crying breaths. “Call for help. Please,” he added as he stood up looking for Sam. “Sam? Are you alright?” he yelled. Sam only responded with a loud groan. Kurt again turned to the rape victim. “Call for help. By the way, you look beautiful,” he said as he staggered over to Sam. The last words he said to her soaked into the victim. She forced a smile as she walked up to find help, looking back at Kurt who was attending to his brother. “C’mon Sam, let’s go home, wherever that is.” He said as he grabbed his brother and teleported out of the scene of the kill. They reappeared back in the loft, right in the living room. Sam stumbled onto the couch as Kurt fell onto it. They both held their wounds with pain. John appeared from the shadows. “That went well,” he said sarcastically. “Shut up,” Sam muttered, forcing in a laugh. “Well at least you’re alive. By the way, your wounds will heal in an hour, they always will. Of course, if you want me to heal them now…” “Please do,” Sam interrupted as John held his hands over Sam’s leg. Within seconds, the wound sealed up, and Sam felt better than ever. John then continued with Kurt’s arm, healing it as quickly as he did with Sam’s. “Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?” John continued.


“Yeah, it kind of was ‘that bad’ John, we both had to witness rape. Sam got stabbed and I got shot, and I had to shoot someone in the head. That’s really my idea of ‘bad’” Kurt stammered. “Well, the first kill is always the hardest,” John added on. “Oh yes sure, soon we’ll be mercilessly murdering people with ease!” Kurt said as he threw his newly-healed arms into the air. “Now answer me this Kurt. As Robert jumped onto you, did you really have any trouble pulling that trigger? Honestly, did you?” John asked Kurt seriously. Kurt paused for a few seconds. “…No. No I did not.” He answered. “And it will be even easier later on,” John added. “Later on? We only need one kill to get into heaven, and the way I see it, we just made that kill. Let’s go then.” Kurt made his point as he stood up. Sam however gave a worried look. “Well actually Kurt, you’ve made your first kill. Sam hasn’t. So if you want to go to heaven, be my guest. But Sam stays until he finishes his first objective.” John said to Kurt’s disapproval. Kurt looked at his brother, who had an innocent look on his face. “Ok, we stay until Sam makes his first kill. What’s our next assignment?” Kurt rushed, looking to find his way off the earth as soon as possible. “Well, there is none. Looks like you boys have a break for some time,” John said with a smile. “Shit. Oh well, we’ll know when our next assignment is?” Kurt asked. “Yes, you will know. But take some time off boys. You need it.” John said as he teleported away. Sam stayed on the couch as Kurt sat on the edge. Kurt sighed. There was a long silence between Sam and Kurt. Kurt broke the silence. “Let’s see what’s on T.V.” he said as he picked up a remote controller that was sitting on the table. It was a TiVo ‘peanut.’ TiVo is still one of my favorite inventions ever. It ranks just behind the wheel in my opinion. Me forbid I miss an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. “Do you really want to leave so soon?” Sam entered in. “Yes, I’ve never really wanted my occupation to be God’s bounty hunter,” Kurt said as he focused on the TiVo. “Well, this doesn’t have to be your only occupation. You still have your life Kurt. Now you don’t have to worry about money or all that other shit. You have everything right here in front of you Kurt. You can finally set out to be the comedian you’ve wanted to be. I can finally become the writer I’ve always wanted to be,” Sam said as he changed back to his human form. Kurt did the same. “This is at the price of lives. I don’t want to kill people Sam. I know you are seeing this as some superhero fantasy, but this is reality.” “Reality sucks, come join my fantasy.” Sam said, which make Kurt laugh. It was the first non-forced laugh since this whole adventure began. “Always find a time to laugh,” Sam added, citing Kurt’s motto. “You’re right. I’ll give this a chance.” Kurt said as he walked towards the kitchen. “What are you doing?” “Looking for clubs to perform at,” he said as he opened the pantry door. Inside was a collection of laptops. He picked the sleekest looking one and placed it on a desk in the hall.


“God I’m going to love this pantry,” he added as he turned on the computer. No worries on internet connection and power outlet, I had that all covered. So now you know how the Watts brothers started their adventure, and trust me, it keeps going. For a long, long time. Within this journey, there will be a creation of many new AODs, including two that will, along with a cartoon rabbit, integrate themselves into the Watts lives. Keeping them going through all their journeys through love, humor, and the will to fight. This is only the beginning, simply to get the premise of the way, so I can move onto the lives of these AODs and the lives of those around them. So in the words of the great rapcore band Hed PE, “let’s get this shit started.” Episode Two: Time and Time Again Part 1: Petey Watts Friends are so important. I cannot stress this statement enough. Find fantastic friends, for they will guide you through your journey through life. Unfortunately, a good friend is quite possibly the hardest thing to find in life, mainly because peoples’ taste in friends are so varied from person to person. A perfectly fine human being with a good sense of humor’s best friend could be someone so solemn and serious yet they are happy with that friend. I myself have never quite figured out why opposites attract, but apparently it’s an effective excuse for people to use to say their happy with the people they associate themselves with. Kurt, however, liked to choose people who were more like him. Unfortunately, as I said, depression has become a conformity. Kurt always had a hard time finding someone who thoroughly understood why he was so joyous all the time. Only his brother could ever really tolerate this enigma, so Kurt never really had any real ‘friends,’ just people to smoke marijuana with. Of course, this all changed with the power of Humor. Kurt could now create his new best friends, which he did on the same night he arrived back to the earth as an angel. After their first kill, Kurt hid away in his room while Sam stayed and watched old movies on the television all day. Without anything to bother the brothers, they simply spent the day inside their new home all day. Sam watched old noir movies while Kurt locked himself in his room, creating his new best friend. “Hey sleepyhead, I’m making you breakfast, because I’m such an awesome brother,” Kurt said the next morning with cheer over the oven. Sam walked down the hall, looking at the eggs that Kurt was cooking. They had hardly started to cook, the yolk was still a bright yellow while the white was not full yet. “Make sure there’s no uncooked yellow shit in there, you know how much I hate that,” he said. Sam was never bright in the morning, both in attitude and intelligence. He moaned and slowly walked to the counter that lay across the window. He sat on one of the stools and spaced out for a few seconds. He saw that the television was on. A cartoon was playing with an orange squirrel being chased by a large hound dog. Sam couldn’t distinguish which cartoon character this was, and frankly didn’t care at all. Nevertheless, Kurt chimed in with his opinion on the cartoon. “Ah… Screwy Squirrel. Quite possibly the most underrated cartoon of all time. Tex Avery was the master of mixing satire and slapstick. As much as I love Chuck Jones,


he gets way too much credit for Tex Avery’s genius,” Kurt informed an uninterested Sam as he continued cooking his eggs. Another voice chimed in from the living room. “I dunno, I still think Richard Williams captured the attitude the best,” the highly distinguishable voice rose from the couch. Sam immediately knew who the voice belonged to, and looked up at Kurt from the kitchen. “You didn’t…” Sam said in disbelief. “I did,” Kurt said with a giant smile. Sam stood up and walked to the modular couch. Laying upside down on the couch was a cartoon white rabbit. His ears flopped onto the ground while his eyes focused on the television and then onto Sam. On top of his white head was a strand of orange hair and his outfit was dressed with red overalls and a blue bowtie. Along with his white fur, the rabbit had peach colored spot scattered around his thin body. Kurt’s product of his imagination hopped down from his upside down position to greet Sam. “Meet Petey,” Kurt said to Sam. “Pleased to meet you,” Petey said with a large smile. Sam shook his hand unenthusiastically, mostly to see if Petey was a solid being. He indeed was, Sam could feel the hand, as if it was three dimensional. He looked around Petey, trying to find a line that broke the third dimension, but only a new drawing replaced in his vision. Petey was in fact real, and it did not please Sam at all. “Kurt, talk in the kitchen please,” Sam said as he walked into the kitchen. “Yes?” Kurt said as he leaned against the kitchen counter, arms crossed. “What is that?” “It’s Petey.” “You are obsessed with these stupid cartoons,” Sam said in a harsh whisper. “Am I now?” Kurt said with a smile as he opened the fridge and grabbed two carrots out. “Want a carrot Petey?” he said over to Petey, who was still watching television on the couch. Petey replied with a hardy ‘yes’ as Kurt chucked the carrot at Petey. “So what, you control everything he does?” Sam asked. “Nope, not at all. I simply created his personality and appearance, and ‘poof,’ there he was. It’s like he’s another member of the family,” Kurt explained. “No, he’s not another member of the family. He’s a cartoon you created. He’s not even real,” Sam snapped back. “Ouch, someone’s a little bit of a sourpuss today. Want a carrot?” Kurt asked as he took another bite from his carrot. “No I don’t. You know that rabbit is not real right? He’s an illusion created by yourself,” Sam warned. “Yes, makes the perfect friend doesn’t it?” Kurt said as he winked. “Why did you even choose a cartoon as a friend anyway? Aren’t they stupid klutzes?” “First off, not all cartoons are ‘stupid.’ Also, he’s not that similar to a cartoon. He’s well… smarter,” Kurt defended as Sam looked out into the living room. Petey was bouncing on the couch sofas, saying ‘boing’ at each bounce. “Smarter…” Sam repeated. “Yeah.” “You know how immature you are?” “Yup.” “And how long are you planning on keeping Petey?” Sam asked annoyingly.


“Well let’s see. 365 days a year, seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day… Oh let me think… Forever.” Kurt answered. “Forever? What if someone sees him?” “Oh people will see him. He’s going to be my sidekick for my first gig tonight.” “What? You’re going to put him on stage?” Sam asked frantically. “Yeah, I’ll be like a magician comic. Besides, you can do wonders with stage-tech now.” Kurt explained confidently. “Don’t you think that’s a little risky? I don’t think we should be creating any attention on ourselves at this point,” Sam said worriedly. “Oh come on, I’ve seen lighting tricks that have made cartoons come to life. They’ll just think I’m doing that. Don’t worry about it,” Kurt said calmly. “Well, where are you performing anyway?” “Some bar that hosts comic and musical performances. It’s right here in Bay City.” “How you going to get there?” “Teleport,” Kurt said. “You don’t know where you’re going to end up. Someone could see you. You need to take a car,” Sam said. “Well we don’t have a car,” Kurt said before the ominous voice came in. “I can fix that,” John said as he appeared from down the hall. Petey saw the new person and rose to his feet to greet him. “Nice to meet you, I’m Petey,” he said as he extended his hand. John promptly shook it and smiled at Kurt. “Glad you made him so polite Kurt,” he said as he patted Petey on the shoulder. “Anyway, about your transportation problem, come with me. You need to leave this apartment eventually anyway,” John said as he walked towards the door at the end of the hall. The brothers then realized that besides their first kill, they haven’t been outside at all. They have never been passed the door down the hall. John escorted them down the hall, and Kurt signaled Petey to come as well. John opened the door, which lead to a small room with elevator doors accompanied by a button with an arrow pointing down. John pressed it and the doors opened quickly, creating a screeching metal sound. The four stepped inside the elevator, and the brothers noticed that there was only one button. John pressed it and the elevator started to move. “Ok now, think about the one vehicle you’ve always wanted,” John said. The brothers already guessed that the garage would be very much like their pantry, fridge, and closet. The doors opened to three distinct vehicles. The first one was a 2008 Suzuki motorcycle. It was dressed with red stripes along a black base. The impressive bike stared at Sam. The second vehicle was a black Toyota Prius. Sam already knew that this was Kurt’s car. “Dude, you’re so gay,” he said regarding the Prius. “Whose car is that?” Kurt pointed at a white Porsche Cayman that was striped with red. Obviously the most impressive looking vehicle of the three, the brothers pondered for a second of whose car it might be, until the both looked down at Petey. “What?” Petey said as he walked towards the Cayman. He looked into the window, and noticed an important observation. “Hey look, the keys are right in the ignition,” he said.


“Well, you are the only ones with access to this garage, so there’s no fear of getting the cars stolen. Besides if it is, just think of a new car and bam, there it is. Best part? Unlimited gas,” John said with a smile. The brothers looked at the garage. There was no decoration in the concrete garage, only a closed garage door that led outside. Sam walked towards the door. There was a window on the upper half of the door. Sam looked out it and saw a fairly busy street. People walked down the sidewalks off to their own lives. Sam then realized that this was the first time he saw a person as an angel besides Robert Goldman and the rape victim. Sam didn’t think of it too much, but still had an incentive to finally leave the loft. “I’m going for a ride,” he said as he hopped on his bike. As he sat on it, a helmet faded in onto his head. It was a perfect fit. “Safety first,” John said as he winked. Sam didn’t make much of the statement as he turned on the motorcycle and rode slowly towards the garage door. It opened as he approached. The sunlight blinded Kurt, as he raised his arm to block it. Sam rode off into the street, leaving Kurt and Petey behind. “Well, I’m off then,” John said as he teleported off, leaving Kurt and Petey alone in the garage. “So who was that?” Petey asked as he approached the elevator. “That’s John, he’s kind of our ‘boss,’” Kurt explained as he and Petey entered the elevator and pressed the only button inside. This led them straight back to the apartment. Petey walked back onto the couch while Kurt walked back into the kitchen. For some reason Kurt seemed comfortable standing in the kitchen, watching the television from the counter. Perhaps the fact that there was a fridge that dispensed anything he could possibly want attracted Kurt to stay in that area. In this case, Kurt opened the fridge and grabbed a handful of marijuana and rolling papers, making a few joints to smoke as Petey continued to watch the beings that so resembled him on the television. “So what are we doing with this show tonight?” Petey asked from the crowd as Kurt rolled up and licked another marijuana cigarette. “I don’t know, that’s why I have these,” he said as he lit up the joint and took his first puff. “Why, what’s that?” “Inspiration,” Kurt said, smiling. He walked over to the modular couch and sat on the opposite corner from Petey. “So basically, you can’t be seen by anyone besides when you’re on stage, ok?” Kurt asked Petey. “Why?” “Because people aren’t going to believe that a cartoon is real and living, it will creep them out. So talk as much as you want on stage, but afterwards you just go on home.” “Are cartoons not real?” Petey said, noting his cartoon state. “Of course they are, people are just used to seeing them stuck in the TV screen. We’re going to need to go through a few shows before we can get them used to seeing one out in the 3D world,” Kurt said while blowing smoke. A silence loomed over the room. The silence continued until Petey asked a perplexing question. “What am I?” he said. The solemn tone Petey used shocked Kurt more than the question itself. Such a serious tone was unusual being said with the light voice that Petey had, and Kurt looked at Petey in silence for a few seconds. “I don’t know,” Kurt said with the same amount of solemnity as Petey.


“Take a guess,” Petey insisted, wondering on his own state of being. Kurt thought for a little while, and then finally answered. “I guess you’re just the leftovers of my mind in the form of a cartoon rabbit,” he said, which ended the serious tone of their conversations. Petey continued on to lighten up the conversation with possible joke ideas for the show and they continued to talk like best friends through the day and into night. Kurt’s answer to Petey’s question always confused me. Mainly because the answer was so incredibly wrong. It also confuses me that Petey became what he is today. With the power of humor, I gave Kurt the ability to create images with his mind that were solid and real, but that’s all they were supposed to be, images. When Kurt created Petey, he didn’t create an image. He created something so much more than that. So much more than the power I gave him allowed him to create. I pondered for many months on what extra ingredient Kurt added to Petey that made Petey so much more different than a simple image. After a while I finally figured out what that vital ingredient was. Love. Part Two: The Act While Sam toured the new city he inhabited, Kurt and Petey continued to work on what they would do for their stand-up routine. Much of their ideas relied on improvisation, so they didn’t talk too much about jokes, simply about their own lives as Kurt continued to explain to Petey of what he was. “So you created me, just out of thin air?” Petey asked Kurt as they were setting up to leave for the club. “Pretty much, but I put a lot of thought into it,” Kurt answered. “About what?” “About the decision to let you be your own person… I mean rabbit,” Kurt said with a smile. “So you have no control over me whatsoever?” Petey said as he looked at his own hands. “Nope. Not your personality or actions. I just created you.” “With what?” Petey asked, eager for answers. “Sugar, spice, and everything nice,” Kurt added with a smile as he packed a few blunts into his jacket pocket. Petey hurried on with more questions. “But I’m only one day old, how do I know so much? I don’t remember learning anything,” Petey questioned. “Well you attained all my knowledge. It’s not much, but I hope it helps,” Kurt answered as he headed towards the door. “Wait, if I know everything you know, how come I don’t know why you can do things like teleport and make drawings come to life?” Petey asked, raising his eyebrow. “Well, you can do the same. You have all the same powers as me,” Kurt said as Petey tested this statement. He teleported next to Kurt and looked up at him in surprise. “C’mon, we got to go,” Kurt said as he opened the hallway door to the elevator. Petey followed and they entered the elevator. They pressed the only button, and the doors closed, and then reopened again to two almost identical cars. They were the same Porsche Caymans that Petey had imagined earlier that day. “Copycat,” Petey said as he walked towards the car. “We’re taking this one, it has tinted windows so no one can see you,” Kurt said as he stepped into the car. Petey stepped into the passenger seat and fastened his seat belt.


Kurt turned the ignition and drove slowly towards the door. As it opened, he sped up and drove off into the street. “You nervous?” Petey asked Kurt. “A little.” “Don’t worry, I’ll try to be extra funny for you,” Petey said as Kurt kept driving. They conversed for a bit more, mostly about Petey’s existence, which Kurt was fine with answering. He understood that if anyone had been created in a day that they would have plenty of questions. They arrived at the club in ten minutes. It was called “The Act,” and didn’t exactly look like a classy club. Pink neon lights flashed the title, and a silhouette of a nude woman laying her body across the sign shown brightly in a flashy yellow. Kurt parked in front of the club and reached for the back of the car. He pulled out a small suitcase and opened it up. “Alright, get in,” he said to Petey. “What?” Petey replied in disbelief. “No one can see you yet, just get in.” “But I don’t want to get in.” “Just get in, it will only be for a little bit,” Kurt said. Petey looked at Kurt in annoyance for a short time, but then finally decided to comply. “You’re going to pay for this,” Petey said as he cramped himself in the suitcase. “You’re a good friend Petey,” Kurt said as he picked up the suitcase and stepped out the car. The club was not in a poor part of the city, but was not in a good part of the city either. The surroundings were fairly crowded, and there was a line coming out from the club, which surprised Kurt. A young man looked at Kurt. “Hey man, nice car,” he said. Kurt tossed him the keys. “Thanks, keep it,” he said as he walked towards the back of the club. The e-mail that Kurt received from the manager told him to walk through the back and an employee would escort him. The e-mail was correct, for when Kurt knocked on the door, a fairly large bouncer came out and had Kurt enter. Kurt carried his suitcase up the step and walked through the meticulous backstage area. It was a dark area, filled with a wooden floor and wall. Curtains seemed to be everywhere, and Kurt even found himself starting to become trapped in one. The bouncer led Kurt through the backstage area, and Kurt passed by many doors until they reached one with the title ‘Manager’ on it. The bouncer knocked on the door, and within seconds the door opened to a short burly man. “Ah you must be the comedian,” he said as he extended his hand. “Kurt Watts,” Kurt greeted as he shook his hand firmly. “Ok you’re on in about an hour, after Miss Sunshine. Let me show you around. By the way, the name’s Danny Serafino,” Danny said as Kurt followed him back through the backstage area. “Mind the curtains, I still don’t know why we have them. The stage area isn’t even close to here. This door right here is your room,” he said quickly as he opened the door, and before attempting to close it, Kurt edged in. “I just want to unpack a little, this case is heavy,” Kurt said as he went in the room. The room itself was fairly well dressed. A small couch sat on the opposite side of the door, and the typical mirror with lights and a chair sat on the wall on the side of the couch. A small glass table accompanied the couch. Kurt sat the case gently down of the couch. Kurt quickly unzipped the suitcase, but didn’t open it. He didn’t want to give


away Petey. Petey, however, automatically attempted to escape, only to be thwarted by Kurt. “What do you got in the bag?” Danny asked intuitively. “Just some lighting equipment,” Kurt answered quickly, walking back towards the door. He closed it, assuming Petey would let himself out after the door was closed. “Your act needs extra equipment?” Danny asked. “Well… About my act,” Kurt started nervously. “I’m a little bit of a magician comedian. Don’t worry though, the lights just go on the floor and that’s it. It’s as simple as that,” Kurt said hurriedly, anxious for Danny’s response. Danny took a few seconds to respond. “Perfect! That’s actually exactly what I wanted! A magician comic! You see, you’re the first comic we’ve had in a long time. The people here aren’t exactly, well, smart. The comedians were simply too confusing for the guests. But a magician comic! How simple is it to be entertained by that? So, what type of magic do you do?” Danny asked with a smile. “Well, I make cartoons,” Kurt said with a pause. “Come to life,” he finished unsurely. He tried to be as delicate as possible, not to scare Danny away. “Cartoons? I love cartoons!” Danny said with a laugh. “Well, the stage area is right through that door. I’ll let you get ready now. Be in the stage area fifteen minutes before seven o’clock. See you then,” Danny finished as he walked back towards his office. Kurt in turn walked back to his room. He opened the door and saw Petey lying on the couch, arms behind his head. “Sorry about that,” Kurt said as Petey looked at the ceiling. Kurt walked in and locked the door. “So the manager’s name is Danny. He apparently loves cartoons, so hopefully we can pull this off,” Kurt said as he sat in the seat next to the mirror. “Will they be scared of me?” Petey asked, now turning to Kurt. “No, they’ll just think you’re a lightning trick.” “Great, I’m just a lightning trick,” Petey said as he looked back onto the ceiling. “Listen, people are going to eventually find out that you actually exist. I know that. But we need to at least introduce the idea hiding behind a lightning trick. I’m sorry Petey, that’s just what it is,” Kurt explained. “How are you going to tell everyone that I am real?” Petey asked, still looking at the ceiling. “I don’t know,” Kurt replied softly, reaching into his jacket pocket to pull out a cigarette. “I wish you wouldn’t smoke,” Petey said, sensing the cigarette. Kurt put it back into his pocket. A sad mood hovered around the room. Petey still lied on the couch, while Kurt had turned into the mirror to check his image. Petey broke the solemn tone. “I wonder who Miss Sunshine is,” he said as he sat up, in a brighter mood. Kurt slowly adjusted to this new change. “Probably some stripper,” Kurt said. Petey continued to brighten the mood. “You know what I think would make our act better? If we went out completely naked…” Petey said before Kurt interrupted him. “What?” “And slowly put our clothes on, one by one. It will be ‘oppo-stripping,’ no one will see it coming,” Petey joked, which made Kurt laugh.


“I don’t know if anyone wants to watch the ‘whitest guy on earth’ and a cartoon rabbit oppo-strip, but that’s a hell of an idea,” Kurt said, still laughing. “Who do you think is whiter, you or me?” Petey continued joking. “Probably me,” Kurt replied, still laughing. They continued to joke around in their small room, deciding which jokes to use in the acts. When it was fifteen minutes before seven o’clock, Kurt put Petey back into the suitcase, much to Petey’s disapproval, and walked to the stage area. He opened the door, and a smell of smoke filled his senses. He found himself in the real backstage area of the stage. Danny was off to the side, watching the act. Kurt was right, Miss Sunshine was indeed a stripper, using a yellow outfit color scheme, even though the outfit didn’t exactly matter, because it was coming off quickly as people hooted from the crowd. Kurt looked off into the side of the stage, and saw the club. It was a fairly large club, decorated in a blue and pink color scheme coming off of a regular brick wall. Neon lights swam across the walls, and the stage was actually fairly small. People were allowed about five feet from the stage, for the tables were situated to revolve around the stage. Kurt noticed the large bar at the back of the club, which shone with a pink neon light. It was accompanied by about ten stools across it. Kurt turned back to Danny, set his suitcase at the side and walked towards him. “Oh hey kid,” Danny said, still fixated at the act. Danny was smoking a cigarette. “She’s great isn’t she?” Danny said, referencing Miss Sunshine, who at this point ripped off another piece of her outfit. Only a bra and a thong remained. Kurt turned his head to the ground, slightly embarrassed. “What are you, gay?” Danny asked in a bright mood. “No, just… I don’t know,” Kurt replied nervously. Kurt was never quite comfortable with women taking off their clothes so easily. He never quite understood this fear, but it became apparent in late high-school, when he was at a party and two drunk girls started stripping, just as Miss Sunshine had been doing. Of course, I knew why Kurt had not been comfortable with women stripping; he had too much respect for them. “So kid, you need to set up some lights?” Danny asked. “No, already did, don’t worry about it,” Kurt replied. “Ok good, because Miss Sunshine here is almost done. You’ll be on when she gets off stage. The DJ will announce you. Break a leg,” Danny said as he patted Kurt on the shoulder and walked away. Kurt walked back to the suitcase and unzipped it. “Ok, stay in here until I call you out,” Kurt whispered to Petey. Miss Sunshine ended her act with her bra still on, in which the audience yelled ‘tease,’ over and over again. She hurriedly walked past Kurt, muttering the word ‘pigs’ as she passed. This worried Kurt, he didn’t want a rowdy crowd. The DJ’s deep voice rose in. “Let’s hear it for our next act, comedian Kurt Watts,” the DJ said as Kurt walked onto stage slowly. He peered out into the crowd, which was mostly men, although there were a few women scattered around. Kurt proceeded in using the power of humor. “Hello, my name is Kurt Watts, and this is my magic pen,” he said as he pulled out a pen and wrote in air. Kurt Watts People automatically reacted to floating letters on stage. Each letter was the size of a human head, and the text floated up gently. The audience seemed fixated, if not drunk, on the magic trick. Kurt continued on, pointing to an audience member up in front. “Sir, can I have you turn around for a second?” he asked politely. The man proceeded in doing so. Above the man’s head, Kurt drew a thought bubble. Inside the thought bubble read:


Holy shit how does he do that? This prompted laughs from the audience, which relieved Kurt. Kurt erased the thought bubble and continued on his act. He let go of his pen, which floated in mid-air, turning out to be another creation of Kurt’s. It flew around the stage and started drawing scenery behind Kurt. “As you can see, my magic pen brings drawings to life. Of course this prompted me to recreate my favorite cartoon from my childhood. Everyone please give a warm welcome to my friend, Petey,” Kurt said as Petey walked from the side of the stage. The audience, still fixated at the magic of this act, applauded loudly. Petey went on to continue the act with more energy than Kurt had. Kurt drew a stool next to him for Petey to stand on, so he was at Kurt’s height. “You know what makes me sort of sad?” Petey started off. “What?” “I know the whole crowd is just thinking ‘woah how does he make the rabbit talk?’” Petey started as the crowd started laughing. “I mean, do you think they’re going to really see behind that and get to know my true personality,” Petey continued. “So introduce yourself then,” Kurt suggested. “Oh good idea, I need to do that… Ok… Hello my name is Petey, and according to Megan’s Law I am required to inform you that…” “No not like that! Just… introduce yourself normally,” Kurt said frantically. “Hi my name is Petey and I’m an alcoholic.” “No! You know what, do it again. I’ll help guide you.” “Ok then… Hello, my name is Petey …” “Stop. Ok perfect,” Kurt interrupted quickly. “So who was the act before us again?” Petey asked. “Oh, I think that was Miss Sunshine,” Kurt answered. “Yeah that’s what it was. I talked to her a bit before the show,” Petey said. Kurt looked up at Petey. “Oh really? What did you talk about?” “Not much… But I think I got some ‘sunburn’ if you know what I mean,” Petey joked as he scratched a bit of his body as the crowd laughed. “That’s terrible,” Kurt said before he impulsively laughed along with the crowd. The act continued on for a whole hour, each time Kurt thought his time was up, he would look at Danny who was off to the side of the stage, who would signal on for him to continue on. Kurt ended the performance promptly at eight o’clock. When he said his final lines, the crowd stood up and applauded. They were amazed at the effects, astounded by the comedy created by Kurt and Petey’s teamwork. They left the stage off to Danny. While doing this, Kurt forgot that Petey wasn’t supposed to be real. Danny approached the two. “That was amazing! Perfect!” Danny shouted over the still thundering audience. “Thanks!” Petey replied, which prompted Kurt to quickly look down at Petey, now realizing that Petey wasn’t supposed to still be there. Danny however treated Petey like a regular person. “You are amazing Petey, how would you two like a regular gig here?” Danny asked. Kurt still focused on the fact that Danny wasn’t asking any questions about Petey’s existence. Petey answered for Kurt.


“That would be great!” Petey answered excitingly, which shocked Kurt even more. “Perfect! Kurt let’s talk in my office,” Danny said as he started to walk home. Kurt leaned down to Petey. “Teleport home, now,” he said as calmly as possible, but still with a stern tone. Petey proceeded in doing so, and teleported away. The DJ’s voice hovered over. “We’re taking a fifteen minute break, coming up though is the beautiful Jessica Stanford.” Kurt followed Danny through the stage exit. He then walked though the masses of curtains that dressed the next room. Eventually he found his way to the manager’s office. Danny invited him in with a quick nod. Kurt entered, standing tall over Danny’s short body. In fact, Danny was probably the same size as Petey. “I don’t know how you do it, but I honestly don’t give a shit, I’m making your our headline act. What you do with that rabbit is amazing,” Danny said as he sat down at his large desk, further shortening his height. “Thank you sir,” Kurt said politely, still standing near the door. “What’s your schedule look like?” Danny asked as he pulled out a small notebook from his desk. “I’m pretty much open every night, but it’s really subject to change each night,” Kurt said, knowing that his new job as an angel might interfere with this other new job. “Well, my eight to nine slot is always open, so feel free to drop in every night for that. Shit, just drop in anytime you want to perform, you’re better than most of the other crap we have here anyway. God how haven’t you been picked up by another producer yet?” “Well, this was the first time I tried the act,” Kurt explained. “First time? Holy shit that was your first time? Shit kid you have talent. Well we’re going to advertise you for Saturday night from 6:00-9:00 PM ok?” Danny continued on. “That’s fine,” Kurt replied, still relieved in a stable gig. “Now about pay,” Danny said before Kurt interrupted. “Oh no sir, don’t worry about that. I just want to do this for fun.” “What? No I need to pay you for your acts, simple as that.” “No seriously, I have enough money, I’d feel better if I did this for free,” Kurt insisted, not realizing how crazy he sounded. Danny stared at Kurt for a few seconds. “Fine by me kid. Best investment I’ve ever made,” Danny said as he leaned back in his chair. “Well it looks like we’re settled here. Feel free to stick around and watch the other acts. I believe Jessica’s next, she’s a hottie,” Danny said as Kurt thanked him and left the room. Kurt decided to take on Danny’s offer, and found the well off into the club. Kurt did not want any attention from the rowdy crowd, who all seemed to be laughing loudly at each others’ jokes and comments. Kurt walked to the bar and took a seat. The bartender walked over to take his drink order. “Guinness draft please.” Part Three: Jessica Stanford People don’t understand that love is so much more powerful than sexual desire. I spent over a century developing the emotion of love and you people hardly ever use it.


You always confuse it with sexual desire, which really bugs me. Sexual desire took me three minutes to create as an emotion. I really only created it as an incentive for people to love others to a different extent. But today people mix sexual desire and love too much and therefore lose much of that wonderful feeling that love brings. This is not applying to one gender either, both genders are equally responsible for this crime. I think the ultimate reason Kurt found his love on this night was because he was able to separate sexual desire and love. It all happened on the same night he performed his first act with Petey. When he decided to stay and watch the next act with Jessica Stanford. It all started with the DJ’s overpowering voice introducing Jessica to the stage. “Please welcome for your listening and viewing pleasure, Jessica Stanford,” it said as Kurt sat at the bar. He was still facing away from the bar, not paying attention to the stage. He did not care very much for another stripper, so he took out a cigarette and lit it up. Looking like a simple tobacco cigarette, he took a puff and drifted off. The guitar played a familiar tune for Kurt, but he could not quite pick up what the song was. He swore he heard before many times though, as if it was one of his favorite songs. His attention was then caught by the first soft words. “I want it so badly…” The first words of desire pulled Kurt around his stool, and centered his eyes onto the stage. “Somebody other than me…” On the center of the stage stood a tall voluptuous woman singing with a band in the background. Each word was another tug on Kurt’s mind, which was now focused completely on the performance. The singer slowly walked forward. She wore a long sparkling blue dress, which had a large slit in the front and a V-shaped neck to show cleavage. Her brown hair fell down in front of her shoulder, and glimmered against the lights that shone on her. The sparkles from her dress twinkled like stars. Her left leg slowly lifted as she took another step forward. The dress showed much of her naturally pale skin as he continued singing passionately. “Staring back at me…” Her song of sorrow struck Kurt, who was focused on her body; her long, curved body. She turned her body to show her silhouette, which was flat with two large protrusions that looked perfectly formed with the body. She started walking off stage, still singing her tale of loneliness. “But you were gone… gone… gone…” Each ‘gone’ hit Kurt, almost wincing at the emotion of her singing. He focused on her body, but couldn’t help but fall into a daze staring at her eyes. She started dancing slowly, putting extra emphasis on her bottom and breasts. Oh her breasts. I myself am not sexually attracted to either male or females, but Jessica still tempts me. Her breasts were


perfectly round, but not unnatural. They bounced slightly with every movement she made. The tight dress showed her protruding nipples, which stuck out and tempted the audience she walked by. But Kurt did not pay attention to her breasts, only fixated on her eyes. “Maybe someday I won’t be so lonely…” She walked around, coming closer to random audience members. She sat on one’s lap, stretching her body to show its full beauty. Members of the audience hooted, which made Kurt want to yell ‘shut the fuck up she’s singing a song,’ but he did not, still staring at her eyes. “Time and time again…” Her whole band started singing along at the chorus. The depressing tone of the song did not stop Kurt from feeling the passion of Jessica’s voice. Jessica continued to please members of the audience by coming around and teasing them without a smile on her face. “Time and time again…” The song dug into Kurt as he continued to stare at Jessica’s eyes; her deep blue eyes with the purple eye shadow. Her eyelids were low, and her eyebrows were thin. Her lips were large, as they moved with each word sung. Kurt was lost in his mind, which was lost in Jessica’s eyes. “Time and time again…” Jessica turned to Kurt. Kurt continued to stare into Jessica’s eyes, who in turn stared at Kurt. She began to walk closer to her. Her long legs crossed each other slowly with each step. Her bottom slowly moved from side to side as she walked. Soon Jessica was only a few feet away from Kurt, still singing her song, which picked up the pace. “So when are you coming home… sweet angel?” Jessica moved closer to Kurt, grabbing his jacket collar. Kurt continued to stare into Jessica’s eyes. Her long hair shook slightly as her face came closer and closer to Kurt’s. Her breasts elevated and pressed against Kurt’s chest, but Kurt still stared into Jessica’s eyes. She continued to sing. Her breath smelled like a mix of orange and mint. She slowly backed away from Kurt, and for the first time in the performance, she smiled. “No… No…No…” She sang the final words, leaning against the wall, sliding down slowly in a look of pleasure. She then slowly walked off stage, which prompted loud applause and hoots from the crowd, impressed by Jessica’s body. Kurt however was impressed by her emotion. He took another sip of his beer and another puff of his ‘cigarette.’ He sat there, looking at the bar and thinking about the performance he just saw.


Kurt had the habit of not being able to tell the time. He sat there at the bar in a daydream for a full fifteen minutes without moving. He thought he had only been sitting there for five. No acts were going on, so the crowd was simply talking with each other. Occasionally there would be an outburst of laughing and swearing. It was an ugly place, thought Kurt. He decided that it was about time to leave, however something beautiful then came along. Jessica Stanford, still in her long blue sparkling dress walked over to the bar and sat four stools to the left of Kurt. Her soft voice spoke. “Hi, can I get a cosmo please?” she asked as the bartender responded with a wink and started making her drink. Kurt turned his head to look at Jessica. He felt slightly embarrassed. She was so beautiful, and Kurt felt unworthy. That, however, did not stop Kurt from impulsively saying the first words. “That’s one of the Crows’ more underrated songs,” he said quietly to Jessica as he took another puff of his almost diminished cigarette. “What?” she responded, not because she didn’t hear the question, but simply because he knew the song she sang. “Time and Time Again by the Counting Crows,” he responded, now looking at Jessica. “You like the Counting Crows?” “My favorite band,” he responded with a smile. “Mine too,” Jessica said with an even larger smile than Kurt’s. A small pause interrupted the introduction of the conversation. “So where’s Petey?” Jessica asked. “What?” Kurt said confused. “Petey, you know… From your act?” “Oh you saw that?” “Yes I did, I thought it was really sweet,” she responded innocently. “Sweet?” “Yeah, you and Petey seemed to work together like best friends,” she said as her cosmopolitan came in. Kurt was happy with this comment. “Sadly he probably is my best friend,” Kurt laughed. “What’s wrong with that?” Jessica asked with a smile. “Well, he’s a cartoon rabbit,” Kurt continued to laugh, not ever saying Petey was not real. “Well I like him better than a lot of people here,” Jessica said as he shifted her eyes. Another pause interrupted the conversation. Kurt broke it. “So, you want to know how I do it?” he said. “Do what?” “Petey.” “You do Petey?” “No no no, make him,” Kurt said. “Make him? I like to believe he’s real,” Jessica said, still keeping her smile as she took another sip from her drink. “He is real,” Kurt said, but soon regretting the comment. “Of course he is, that’s why he’s on stage,” Jessica replied. Kurt then continued to throw out the secrets he wanted to keep about Petey. “No seriously, he’s completely real, I’ll show you next time I perform.” “And when are you going to perform?”


“When are you going to perform?” Kurt asked, still hitting himself in his mind for the secrets he was giving out. “Tomorrow at the same time,” she said with a smile. “Perfect, I’ll be here with Petey, and afterwards you can say anything you want to him.” Kurt said, and Jessica laughed. “I have a question,” she said, “how hard you trying to get laid tonight?” This question shocked Kurt. Jessica however, was smiling and laughing. Kurt had no intention to have sex with Jessica, only to form a relationship. Kurt used his wit to respond. “Get laid? Do you really think I have enough self-esteem to think I’m going to get laid tonight? My main goal for tonight is to just get your number so I can stand nervously by the phone for two straight days before I can gingerly call you and ask you on our first date. We would see our first movie, but it wouldn’t be a good movie, it’ll be an extremely shitty one, because I need to see if you can laugh and yell at the screen with me. Then maybe… Just maybe you’ll give me a small kiss at your door and I can go home and jack off. Then I’ll call you for the second date and we’ll go to dinner and then go for a longer kiss at the door, and then we’ll go on the third date. On the third date then we’ll have passionate hour long sex and then get married and have kids. That’s my plan,” Kurt said quickly, making Jessica laugh hysterically. Kurt smiled at this laugh. “That’s your plan?” she said, looking at Kurt. “Yup.” “Well, I’m going to mess up your plan.” “How so?” Kurt said. After this statement Jessica walked over to Kurt and grabbed his face her both her hands. She locked her lips onto his, kissing him passionately. Kurt was first wide-eyed, but then his eyes relaxed as Jessica stuck her hand down his pants. It came back up and Jessica backed off of Kurt. She smiled and winked at him and she started to walk away. Kurt reached down his pants and found a small piece of paper. On the paper was Jessica’s phone number. Part Four: The Second Kill Kurt returned home after the encounter with Jessica Stanford. After a quick teleportation, he ended up in the elevator room in front of the door to the apartment. To pretend like he was coming home normally, he opened the door. He walked down the hall and heard a voice. As he walked closer, he recognized the voice to be Petey’s. He turned around the corner to see Petey sitting on the corner of the couch, legs laying sideways on the couch, with Sam sitting straight focused of the television. Sam was completely ignoring Petey’s words, looking annoyed as he flipped through channels. “Getting to know each other well?” Kurt asked. Sam only looked up at Kurt with scornful eyes. Apparently Petey had been talking endlessly for some time. Kurt walked up and sat in the middle of Petey and Sam on the couch. He extended his legs onto the table. A distance between everyone was still quite visible, for the couch was that long. Sam continued channel-surfing, not finding any acceptable programs. “So how was it?” Sam asked, much to Kurt’s surprise. “You mean Petey didn’t already tell you all about it?” Kurt asked. “Oh he did, but I didn’t listen,” Sam replied, laughing slightly. “It went very well. The audience seemed to like it,” Kurt replied. “They weren’t freaked out?”


“Didn’t seem like it. We were offered a regular gig there.” “Did you take it?” Sam asked, looking at Kurt. Kurt was afraid to reply. “Yes.” Kurt said nervously. “Good.” “Good?” “Yes, I want my little brother to be happy,” Sam said with a small smile. Sam’s interest in Kurt’s night surprised Kurt himself. Kurt continued on the subject. “I met someone there,” Kurt continued. Petey looked up at Kurt, wondering who this someone was. “Who?” Petey asked before Sam could. “A girl named Jessica,” Kurt said. Sam beat Petey to the next question. “Is she hot?” “I don’t know, but she likes the Counting Crows,” Kurt replied happily. “What does she do?” Sam continued on. “She’s a singer.” “A good one?” “Very good yes.” “How come I didn’t get to meet her?” Petey chimed in with a slight sign of anger. “She wants to meet you tomorrow,” Kurt assured. “Wait, you’re going to introduce the rabbit to this girl? Kurt…” Sam said frustrated. “What?” “Kurt, I’ve seen you screw up too many relationships. You’re going to scare her away,” Sam said before Petey interrupted. “But I’m not scary. Am I?” Petey asked worried. “No you’re not Petey. Sam, it’ll be fine,” Kurt tried to reassure Sam. “What do you think she’s going to think? This is just another guy with a cartoon rabbit standing next to him? She’s going to freak.” “They all seemed fine with it on stage.” “Of course they did. They assumed that you were using a lightning trick. She’s going to be shaking his hand. There’s no lighting trick there. Kurt I really don’t think this is a good idea.” “I think it’s a good way of telling her that I’m an angel that kills people to be honest.” “You’re going to tell her you’re an angel? Kurt she’s going to think you’re absolutely insane.” “No not tomorrow. But if she can accept the idea that I can create beings like Petey the angel idea would be less severe.” “And if she doesn’t accept the idea?” “She’ll accept the idea,” Kurt said confidently. Sam was still not convinced. “Kurt we really can’t give out what we do yet.” “Do you really think this will be a secret for long? We’re out there killing people! People are going to notice eventually.” “I know I know, but I think it’s best that we reveal ourselves as slowly as possible,” Sam said with a little bit of force. After this sentence the brothers were interrupted by the warning. In their eyes, everything turned red for a few seconds. A loud piercing noise accompanied this scarlet view. Both the noise and red evaporated after four or five seconds. Sam and Kurt looked at each other.


“I think it’s time for the next assignment,” Sam said. Kurt replied by heading for the door at the other side of the room. “Stay here Petey,” Kurt said sternly. He opened the door and went in after Sam. The List sat there on its podium. John was not there to help them. They approached The List and had it project onto the wall. Vladimir Abakum Kurt instantly scrolled down to see what Vladimir was on The List for. “He’s tortured and murdered thirteen women,” Kurt said sadly. Kurt proceeded onto changing into his angelic form. His green tail fell to the floor and he licked his vampire like teeth. Sam also changed into his form. He pulled out his swords, ready to fight. “Ok Sam, you need to make this kill,” Kurt said seriously. “Yup.” “Sam look at me,” Kurt said as he grabbed Sam’s shoulder. “I’m with you on this. I’ll stay on Earth as long as you want to. But I need you to at least gain access into heaven. Just in case,” Kurt said, convincing Sam to not hold back due to his desire to stay alive. “I know, now let’s kill this bastard,” Sam said and he grabbed Kurt’s hand. He then looked at the picture on The List and teleported. They ended up in at the top of the bell tower. Sam looked around first, while Kurt looked down. They were about fifty feet above the ground. Sam was the first one to recognize the surroundings. “We’re at a church,” he said. This confused Kurt. Why would he be at a church? Kurt looked down the bell tower. A long spiral staircase dressed the whole tower. Kurt decided to skip walking down all this by teleporting. Sam followed quickly after. They heard a faint voice. Kurt pulled out his guns while slowly walking forward down a hall. Sam followed slowly behind. The voice grew louder, and soon the brothers distinguished the language, Russian. Kurt peered around the corner. He saw a large church with one man kneeling in the front pew. His head was down, and Kurt assumed he was praying. Kurt then noticed the man was scarlet red. This was Vladimir Abakum. Kurt and Sam slowly walked towards the man kneeling in the pews. Slowly walking, they positioned their weapons higher, ready to strike. Vladimir rose from his kneeling position and stood up. Without turning around, he spoke. “I was expecting you to come sooner,” he said in a deep voice. Both the brothers stopped. Silence loomed over the church for a few awkward seconds. Sam killed it. “What do you mean?” “You’ve come to kill me,” Vladimir said in a heavy Russian accent. His tone was extremely depressed and melancholic. “How do you know that?” Kurt asked; guns aimed straight at the back of Vladimir’s head. “I sensed it,” Vladimir said somberly. “It’s funny how a good man never realizes how good he is, yet an evil man knows exactly how evil he is,” he said, bowing his head. “I’ve done many evil things,” Vladimir continued on as he started to turn around. The brothers saw his old decrepit face.


“But I don’t regret any of them,” he finished as the church doors slammed. Sam summoned a wall of fire to surround the inside of the church. This shocked Kurt but not Vladimir. “Nice theatrics,” Vladimir said emotionless. “I’m guessing you’ve been an angel for less than a week,” he added. This shocked the brothers the most. How did he know that the brothers were angels? “Ok that’s enough,” Kurt said as he looked at Sam. “Do it Sam,” he ordered. Sam did not reply. His swords were still held up in the air. However Sam’s body was frozen. His nerves tensed up and Sam’s body refused to move. “Come on Sam,” Kurt commanded again. Sam still did not comply. His body was still frozen. His arms started twitching slightly. The idea of his swords going through the body of this old Russian sickened him to his stomach. The idea of killing my very own creation caused Sam to stop in his tracks and refuse to obey Kurt’s commands. “I… can’t,” Sam replied slowly. “What do you mean you can’t?” Kurt yelled as he heard a clicking noise. They looked at Vladimir. Vladmir’s mouth slowly opened to a pair of inhuman teeth that growled a strange noise. Green smoke flowed from his mouth, which was now in a full grin. Vladimir was no longer a human. The brothers did not know what he had become, but it wasn’t a human. “God damn it Sam!” Kurt yelled as he focused his gun onto Vladimir. Vladimir called out a loud hiss and started to approach the brothers. So Kurt shot Vladimir Abakum straight in the forehead. His black blood spewed out as his body folded and fell to the ground. Sam was relieved. Kurt was angry. Kurt turned to Sam’s frozen body and pointed at him. “You’re supposed to be the stronger one in this. Not me!” Kurt yelled before he teleported back home. This statement unfroze Sam, who absorbed his swords back into his body. He teleported back home and saw Kurt walking towards his room. Sam changed back into his human form and started the argument. “Oh, I’m supposed to be the stronger one in this now? That’s a little unfair don’t you think?” he shouted down the room. Petey was on couch, ears down and frightened at the brothers fighting. Kurt turned around and replied back. “I just assumed you were treating this as your superhero fantasy. I’m sorry I’ve been taking this much harder,” he yelled back at Sam. “You’ve been taking this harder?” “Yes.” Kurt replied sternly. Sam pointed at Petey. “Then what is he doing here? Apparently you’re not taking this so hard if you have the time to make a fucking cartoon rabbit, eh? Why is he even here? Tell me, honestly. Why is he even here?” Sam shouted, making Petey cower even more. Kurt refused to answer the question, not wanting to admit the answer. Kurt instead changed the subject. “I’ve been taking care of your shit all my life,” he stated softly. “My shit?” “All your moping and whining about how your life sucks so bad. I’ve taken care of you. I gave you a place, I gave you money, I gave you everything I had. I’ve tolerated your constant stream of your so-called depression. I did it all with a smile, hoping you


would eventually smile back,” Kurt said quietly. Sam was about to object, but Kurt continued on. “And now… It’s harder for me to smile. And I was hoping for once… for once… you would be the bigger brother,” Kurt finished. Sam instantly replied. “So you think you need to take care of me? You think I’m weak because I don’t shove shit into my body and instead try to overcome my depression myself?” “Oh so now you’re going to blame marijuana again for making me content?” “Yes I am. Kurt you smoke it once a day at least. Want to prove to me that it’s not the reason you’re ‘happy?’ Quit,” Sam challenged. “Fine I quit.” “We’ll see about that,” Sam said as he headed for his room. Kurt interrupted this trip. “Sam.” “What?” “Are you still in this with me?” “In what?” “Making you smile back,” Kurt answered. Sam turned around and stood silent for a few seconds. “Yes I am,” he replied as he went inside his room. Kurt let himself fall on the couch and mutter. “Fuck…” he grunted, picking his eye lids with his fingers. Petey was on the other side of the couch, holding his ears down with large eyes. Kurt looked at Petey. “I have a lot of explaining to do,” he said as he made himself more comfortable and Petey started to ease up. Kurt had never given Petey the knowledge of what the brothers did for me. He didn’t want Petey to have to live with the harsh reality that the Watts brothers killed people. He wanted Petey to be more innocent than Kurt thought he himself was. However, seeing all that had happened in front of Petey’s eyes, Kurt needed to tell Petey about their career. So Kurt did so for the next hour. Petey asked many questions, mostly ones that involved the shock Petey was dealing with. When Petey finally started to understand what the brothers did, he started to restate the same questions, but finding the answers in a different context than before. “I still don’t understand why you have to kill people,” he said worriedly. “The people need to die Petey. They just need to,” Kurt replied softly. “But why?” “Because God says so,” Kurt said frankly. “But it just doesn’t seem fair,” Petey said as he looked down. “Well then maybe they should’ve thought about not doing horrible things with their lives.” “No not to them… To you,” Petey replied sadly, looking at up Kurt. This statement hit Kurt more than anything before. Kurt looked at Petey. “I’m trying to think of it more as an opportunity,” he said. “How so?” “Well I’m all set on money and shelter. I can go and live my life without any of those concerns,” Kurt said as he looked down to the floor. His throat began to feel like there was a lump in it, but tears were far from coming. “I just also have to deal with the fact that I murder people on the side,” Kurt said. Petey then realized something. “And that’s why I’m here,” Petey said quietly.


“Yes, that’s why you’re here,” Kurt answered with a smile. Normally, any given person would be offended by the statement that their purpose was only to make someone happy. Why? People are selfish. I would know; I created them that way. However Petey was delighted to hear that his purpose was to make Kurt happy. “How am I doing so far?” Petey asked as he sprang to an upright position. “Excellent,” Kurt said as he pulled out another ‘cigarette’ and a lighter. This worried Petey, who realized that Kurt was already back to smoking marijuana. Kurt, however, did not realize he was about to light up. It was simply instinct. Kurt realized what he was doing, and gently threw his lighter and cigarette off to the side. Petey smiled. “C’mon, let’s watch old cartoons,” Kurt said as he grabbed the television remote and turned on the television. And so the night ended. One night. In one night Kurt and Petey performed their first act. In one night Kurt met Jessica Stanford. And in one night Kurt killed Vladimir Abakum in a church in Bay City. After Petey had fallen asleep on the couch, Kurt turned off the television and headed to bed. He went to sleep on his bed in his room. However he couldn’t get one tune out of his head. “Time and Time Again…”

Episode Three: Boys and Girls Part 1: Anna Birch After seeing the poor performance the Watts had made with their first two kills, I decided that I would give them another angel to help them along the way. Ultimately, everyone needs help somewhere along the way, so I thought it would be best to give it to them as soon as possible. So I chose and set up another AOD from the brothers, Anna Birch. Kurt awoke first. It was 8:30 AM as he rose up from his bed. He walked out into the hall and then into the kitchen. He saw Petey, still sleeping in a tangled position, mouth wide open. Kurt reached into the pantry and grabbed out pancake mix and started to make pancakes. The smell awoke Sam, who appeared from his room at around 9:00 AM. “Morning,” Kurt welcomed as he looked at Sam. Sam responded with a grunt. He moved over to the couch and fell onto it. This awoke Petey, who then departed from the couch over to the kitchen with Kurt. Petey looked up and noticed something new in the kitchen that both Kurt and Sam missed. “Kurt…” he said. “What?” “Look at this,” Petey pointed to a chalk board that rested above the refrigerator on the wall. In neat white chalk were the names: Kurt 2 Sam 0 Anna 0 Petey 0


“That’s strange, I think they’re the number of kills each of us has made,” Kurt said as he looked up to the board. Sam rose from the couch to witness this as well. “What am I doing on there?” Petey asked. “I guess you’re an angel with us,” Kurt said as he looked down to Petey. “Who’s Anna?” Sam asked quietly. This caught the other two’s attention instantly. Petey looked down the hall and started walking down it. He then pointed to the side. “Look!” he shouted. Kurt and Sam followed him. They walked past their rooms to a brand new door that rested next to Kurt’s door. Kurt looked up at the top of the doorway, and a sign read ‘Anna.’ Anna was the newest addition to the Angels of Death program. “I guess we just need to wait for her to come out,” Kurt said softly. Sam instantly headed for the doorknob. “Don’t just go in, let her come out when she’s ready,” Kurt insisted. Sam tried to open it anyway. “It’s locked,” he said. Sam walked back to the living room as did Kurt. Petey stayed and stared up at the door for a few more seconds. Kurt went back to making his pancakes while Sam went back to sitting on the couch. “Guess God doesn’t think we’re doing a good enough job,” Sam said from the couch. Petey had now walked in. “I wonder what she’ll be like,” Petey said as he sat on the counter near Kurt. “I wonder how she died,” Sam said. “What kind of statement is that?” Kurt responded in disgust. Instantly after Kurt’s response rang a creek. Anna’s door had opened. Sam and Petey began to stand up, but Kurt quickly hushed them. Down the hall, Kurt couldn’t see much coming from the open door. He could see a bright orange color, but that was about it. Anna had now fully stepped out of her room, and starting walking down the hall. Anna was pale, skinny, and had a long set of orange hair. Her face was dressed with light freckles, full with light and beauty. She was wearing an olive green shirt with tight jeans that secured her hips. Her orange hair fell onto her shoulders as he walked into the room. Petey and Sam stared at Anna in awe. Her understated beauty appealed to the both of them. Sam in a more sexual way though. A brief silence haunted the room, until Anna broke it with her light voice. “Are you… Kurt?” She asked Kurt at the kitchen. She had a very nervous tone to her voice. “Yes, over there is my brother, Sam. And over here is…” “Petey!” Anna said in joy. “You know him?” Kurt asked in puzzlement. “Oh yes, I saw him in that act you did,” Anna said. Sam looked at Kurt. “How’d you see that?” “It’s all over the internet. Someone taped it from the audience and it’s like an internet sensation right now,” Anna said, surprised Kurt and Petey didn’t already know this. “Really? Oh wow…” “I always wondered how you did it, just didn’t think you did it like this,” Anna said as she sat on one of the stools that accompanied the counter. “I don’t think we’ve properly introduced ourselves, I’m Anna Birch,” Anna said


as she extended her hand out to Kurt. “Kurt Watts,” Kurt said as she shook it. Anna then turned to Petey. “Petey Watts,” Petey said as she shook his hand. Anna then stood up and walked to Sam. “Sam Watts,” Sam said quietly as Anna promptly shook it. Anna then sat on the couch and laid her legs out. Kurt continued the conversation with questions. “So, what did John tell you so far?” “Well he basically told me I have to kill people, which I’m not too thrilled about. He talked a lot of about you guys. I know that Kurt can create images and bring them to life and I know Sam can create fire and control it. Also Kurt’s weapons are two guns while Sam’s is two swords,” Anna explained. “What is your power and weapon?” Sam quickly asked. “I’m glad you asked. I chose ‘stealth,’” Anna said smiling. “What does that do?” “Well, apparently I have heightened senses, but mostly I can do this,” Anna said before she completely disappeared. She was nowhere to be seen, and the brothers looked at each other. “Invisibility,” Anna said, even though she was nowhere in the room. Anna then reappeared at the same place she was in. “And my weapons, I have these,” Anna said as he pulled out two daggers from her wrists. Sam recognized the weapons instantly. Petey finally spoke. “So how did you die?” he said in a dark tone. This question shocked Kurt, who turned to Petey in horror. This new tone was new for Petey, and Kurt was worried. Anna, however, did not appear offended. “Honestly, I don’t remember. I just remember the whole John thing and now I’m here,” Anna said in a brighter voice. “Oh, and do I smell pancakes?” she said delightfully. Kurt replied with a hearty ‘yes’ and served them up. Anna ate the bulk at them, while Kurt pulled Petey out of the room to talk to him. “Petey what the hell was that?” he asked sternly. “What?” “Asking her how she died?” “I was just curious,” Petey defended softly. “You don’t ask questions like that.” “I don’t know, there’s something about her,” Petey said. “What? She’s the brightest one in the room. You of all people should appreciate that,” Kurt replied. “You’re right, I’m sorry,” Petey said. “It’s ok,” Kurt said as he ruffled Petey’s head and walked back to the kitchen. Petey was still confounded by Anna. Something just didn’t seem right about her to Petey. He looked up at her sitting at the table. He stared at her with worried eyes for a moment. She looked back, smiling. Her smile started to fade away as she looked back to Sam, who was having a conversation with her. Petey looked back to the floor, still with a strange feeling in his stomach. “So you haven’t killed anyone yet?” Anna laughed at Sam at the table. “No,” Sam said, not in a harsh way, but in a light way. “Well don’t think I’m going to hold back on my kills just so you can get one,” Anna said with a wink. Sam looked at the scoreboard above the refrigerator.


“So this is a competition now?” Sam said. “That actually might make it easier for all of us,” Kurt said. The other two agreed. The competition then promptly began. The same scarlet overlaid the vision of the four, even Petey. The ringing noise accompanied the warning. “Fuck, another kill?” Kurt said as he started to walk for the room on the other side. “That sound means it’s time to kill?” Anna asked as she followed. “Yup,” Sam quickly replied as he followed Anna and Kurt into the room. They closed Petey out of the room and projected The List out onto the wall. “Holy shit,” Sam said. The List did not just have one name. It had fifty. “We have to kill fifty people?” Kurt said confused. Anna picked up the idea. “It looks like a street gang,” she noticed. She was indeed right. All fifty men they were to kill were in a gang that terrorized New York citizens for about six months. I had enough and decided they all needed to be killed. “This is going to be tough,” Kurt said worriedly. Anna, however, was not scared. “I don’t care, I’m going to get the most kills,” she said as she transformed into her angelic form. Her skin resembled the color of her hair, bright orange. Her tail extended out and her fangs were shown as she opened her mouth. “How do I look?” she asked. Kurt and Sam also changed into their angelic forms. “Better than us,” Kurt said with a grin. Anna looked at The List, and was the first to teleport. Sam and Kurt looked at each other. “She seems excited,” Sam said. “That makes one of us,” Kurt said as he teleported off. Sam then did the same. The room they left was completely empty, until the door started to slowly open. Part 2: Competition The day Anna Birch came to be an angel was the same day Kurt and Sam found killing the condemned much easier. Her spunky attitude almost comforted the brothers during a time where they really needed to be comforted. She was confident on her first kill, or first twenty-five kills. The melee began with Kurt, Sam, and Anna teleporting to the scene of their fight. Still the morning, they ended up in an open ally, yet the sun shone bright from the east. The angel’s demonic appearance was clearly shown, Kurt and Sam being slightly embarrassed about it. Anna had her daggers out, and she held them with the blades coming out from the bottom on her hand. Kurt and Sam released their weapons as well and looked for signs of life. Anna spotted it first. “There, look,” she pointed down the alley. Grouped down the alley were the fifty scarlet red men on The List. One of the gang members turned around and spotted the angels. Territorially obsessed, he called for the rest of the gang members to follow as they approached the angels. Each gang member had their own weapon as well, varying from guns and knives. The angels held their ground, unflinching. Eventually the gang reached close enough that what was presumably the leader came up and spoke. “Ey, what the fuck are you?” he asked, aiming his gun at the three. Anna looked at Kurt and Sam, smiled, and threw a dagger straight at the gang leader’s throat. It stuck deeply into his throat, and his black blood spewed out.


“One,” Anna counted as she teleported to grab her dagger stuck in the leader’s throat. She pulled it out, and the leader fell to the ground dead, and teleported to take out more members. The gang in turn responded with gun fire at Anna. Kurt then whipped out his guns to help Anna with the battle. He aimed at one of the members who was firing at Anna and shot him straight through the head. Anna continued to teleport around, avoiding each bullet. Sam did much less, staying back away from the fight. Kurt joined in more aggressively, as he fired from the sidelines at random gang members. He aimed each shot precisely, trying not to use too many bullets. He missed a few shots, but then realized something. “Hey wait, I have unlimited ammo,” he said to himself. He raised his arms into the air, held down on the triggers, and slowly led them down, bullets flying as he did so. He moved his arms away from each other, annihilating gang members that were in the way of the gunfire. Each one fell to the ground quickly, adding to a total of about fifteen kills for Kurt. Sam still stayed back from the fight cowardly, until he was forced into it. Another gang member was approaching Anna from behind. Sam, through instinct, instantly teleported behind that gang member and stuck one of his swords through his chest. Sam’s first kill. The sword protruded from the gang member’s chest, and the gang member fell to his knees. Sam took out his sword and teleported back to the sidelines, shocked by his kill. Anna and Kurt continued fighting though. Anna was fighting more aggressively, teleporting every time she felt threatened or simply wanted to move closer to another kill. She continued to hold her daggers with the blade protruding from the bottom of her grip. This style proved to be effective, for each swipe dug deeper into her victims’ skin. Her main target was the victims’ throats, for it seemed that a slice into the throat instantly stopped the villain from attacking. Occasionally, she would strike into a victim’s skull. She found this horrifying, the crack of the skull and the toughness the strike needed gave her an uneasy feeling. The throat, however, was softer and easier to slice. Kurt had a more long distance weapon, so he didn’t participate in the center of the fight as often as Anna did. Instead he would defend himself and Anna but shooting villains that threatened them. He always aimed for the head, hoping to make a clean quick kill. When there was about fifteen gang members left, Anna used her power of stealth and disappeared. While she still picked off members, she left Kurt out in the open, now the only focus for the villains. All but one ran for Kurt, coming from all directions. Kurt in turn held the triggers of his guns, kneeled down, and spun around like a deadly helicopter, bullets flying from the center of his wings. This technique killed twelve gang members, leaving only one left after Anna killed two more. The scene was gruesome at best. Forty-nine dead bodies, most with a bullet in their heads or their throats slit. Black blood dressed the concrete ground, and leaked down the alley. Anna was drenched in the blood, but was still slightly smiling, proud of her kills. Kurt had less blood, but not smiling, only exhausted. Sam was still on the sidelines, covered in blood from his one and only kill. There was still one left. He stood at the end of the alley, motionless, knife in hand. He started to approach Anna and Kurt. “Is he really going to try?” Anna said. Kurt aimed at the last gang member and shot. The bullet traveled across the alley straight to the final villain. The villain dodged it by using the same teleportation ability that the angels had.


“Oh shit, he can teleport?” Kurt said as he shot a few more times. The condemned dodged each bullet with ease, as he kept walking slowly down the alley. Kurt then saw the same green smoke he had seen with Vladimir Abakum’s kill the night before. This final victim was no longer human, as he made the same clicking noise Vladimir had made. “Who the hell is this?” Anna said, scared from the demonic traits this final gang member was presenting. The final victim then started to dash towards Anna and Kurt. They started to panic, as Kurt rapidly fired his guns in vain. Each bullet didn’t miss the villain. They pierced the skin, but didn’t stop him from dashing towards them. Kurt and Anna stood their ground, ready to teleport when the gang member came too close. That time was coming very soon. Knife in hand, the villain dashed until he was only about twenty feet from the two angels. He was suddenly stopped with a sharp screech. As if the whole scene was in slow motion, the final victim’s head separated from his neck. His body fell forward, his head fell backwards. The same momentum of his dash was still present during this strange situation. Something had decapitated this final villain. The final victim was dead. Anna and Kurt looked at each other in absolute confusion. What had caused for the final kill? Was it me? No. Kurt looked around to find any clues of this phenomenon. He then saw the final killer. Standing there, with his hand extended out, was Petey. The cartoon rabbit was standing on the side of the alley, at the same point where the decapitation took place. He walked up slightly behind the dead victim, and extended his hand. He grabbed a thin black line in the air. It wasn’t visible from the distance, but Petey shook it out. It turned out to be one thin, sharp, black line in the air that Petey had created. The villain ran straight through it, severing his head. “I really don’t think you use the power of humor enough,” Petey said to Kurt. “I mean, if I can finish off the last one with a simple black line, think of what else we can do,” Petey said as he walked towards Anna and Kurt, avoiding the massive amount of dead bodies on the ground. Kurt looked at Petey seriously, Petey was worried. “I went and saw The List after you guys left. I just wanted to see if you were all ok,” he explained, hoping Kurt would understand. Kurt slowly walked up to Petey. Petey’s ears were down, and he started to shiver for a bit. Kurt squatted down to Petey’s height, and stuck out his hand in the air. “High five,” he said with a smile. A relieved Petey proceeded in slapping Kurt’s hand. “I have to admit, that was pretty badass,” Kurt said as he stood back up and looked at Anna, who was also smiling proudly. Sam rose from the sidelines to join. “So where were you this whole time?” Kurt laughed at Sam. “Hey, I killed one,” Sam defended. “One? I lost count a long time ago,” Kurt said as he changed back to human form. “I forgot how much I made too, let’s go home and check,” Anna said as she teleported home. Kurt and Petey did the same, but Sam stayed for a little longer. He looked at the murders they had created; fifty dead bodies that littered the alley, one giant pool of black blood. Sam shook the image out of his mind, and teleported back. Back at the apartment, everyone was still covered in black blood, except for Petey. They surrounded the scoreboard above the refrigerator. Kurt Sam Anna Petey






“Looks like I made more kills than you during that round,” Anna bragged to Kurt innocently. Kurt answered with an observation about Sam’s number. “Look Sam, you have the same amount of kills as Petey. You can’t kill more than a bunny,” Kurt laughed, while Anna and Petey joined in. Competition was making this much easier on Kurt. He was able to kill twenty-three people with the aid of Anna. Sam was still uneasy, more focused on the reason why the victims were obtaining powers. John appeared from the living room, in a different black suit. “Congrats on the kills, looks like you all have a reservation in heaven,” he said proudly. However, he had other matters to talk about. The four walked into the living room to listen to John. “Kurt and Sam, you might have noticed something peculiar about your last two kills, I have plenty of explaining to do.” Part 3: Demons John was much different this encounter with the angels. Before hand, John had shown no emotion to the boys. But today, he had an emotion, anger. What was John angry at? Me. He was still upset that I disposed of hell, a system that he thought was ‘flawless.’ I hadn’t told him yet why I deleted hell, so he was still confused why I would take out such a simple system in exchange for a much more difficult one. So John sat down on the ever so large couch in the angels’ loft, and began his explanation on why it was so important that the angels of death kill the condemned. “When God destroyed hell,” John started. “He disposed of the detention center where we could safely keep tainted souls from damaging the world he created. In reality, hell wasn’t so bad. I know you read that hell is full of fire and all that crap, but that’s completely untrue. It’s like a separate society, just with a bunch of psychopaths as citizens,” “But when he destroyed hell, those psychopaths no longer had a place where we could keep them safely. So now they’re just floating around, looking for souls to combine with in the world. Fortunately, most souls are strong enough to block them out. But the people on The List are not. The people on The List are people whose souls are weak, no longer able to block off the tainted souls from hell,” “So the tainted souls take over the weak souls, and create chaos on the world. The weak souls are no longer people, they are demons. Unfortunately, these demons come with supernatural abilities. As you saw in your last two kills, the weak were taken over by a demon, one we call Fred,” “Fred?” Sam interrupted skeptically. “Yes, Fred; sentenced to hell in 1903. The green smoke that comes from his mouth is actually sulfur. Careful, he can concentrate it enough to cause considerable harm, which he really wants to do onto the world. Of course, when one becomes a demon they are much harder to kill. The demons know how to deal with pain, so you have to completely kill them before they will stop trying to kill you,” “So can these demons ever be killed?” Kurt asked. “No. For some reason, God cannot kill one of his souls, but we can’t have the demons’ souls reincarnated. When they were sentenced to hell, their one being was sentenced, so there is no way to restart their life. So now they’re just wandering the


world. When they see a weak soul, they will take it over as soon as they can. It’s fairly difficult to find a weak soul though, so when someone is sentenced to The List, you still have some time to kill before they are taken over by a demon. Just remember, there is nothing worse than being taken over by a demon. So when you kill people on The List, you’re doing them a favor,” John finished. “So this has become a lot harder,” Kurt said. “Yes,” John said solemnly. John felt pity for the angels. “Why would God get rid of hell?” Sam asked. This sparked John to go on a rant. “That’s a great question. We had a flawless system with hell. If a soul couldn’t be saved, they would be safe in hell, happy as can be. They were with their own kind. With people who understood them. They couldn’t harm others, and they were happy. Why did God ruin a perfect system? Why?” John started yelling as he stood up. Amazingly, of the four angels that stood there in the loft listening to John’s anger, one of them defend me. One angel understood why I deleted hell. One angel. Petey. “He wanted to give them a chance,” Petey said quietly from the corner of the room. Focus went straight to him. “A chance?” John questioned. “He doesn’t believe people should be locked up, no matter how desirable the condition of the containment is. The fact is, when people are in hell, they no longer have the opportunity to control their own lives. I think God wants to give them the same opportunity of freedom everyone else has,” Petey added. “They have freedom in hell,” John defended quickly. “But they’re still trapped. God set them free.” “Set them free? Free from what? They were happy in hell.” “Well apparently not if they want revenge on the whole world. I saw one of those demons and he did not seem happy.” “That’s because he’s a demon. Demons act irrational, that’s why we keep them in hell,” John added. Petey started to talk more aggressively. “Why do you keep calling them demons? What makes them demons? What separates them from souls? They were souls, but now you’ve labeled them demons. That seems unfair, they’re still souls.” “They’re no longer souls, they’ve lost that title. They’ve done too much shit to be rewarded with the title ‘soul.’” “Well I believe in forgiveness,” Petey said softly. “Forgiveness? Forgiveness? Let me tell you about the previous lives of our friend Fred here. 1721, under the name Sam Weston, slit the throats of thirty-two infants before taking his own life. 1801, under the name Patrick Wilkinson, took a gun and shot twelve women in a mill. And in his last life, under the name Ian Denning, or more remembered by as George Chapman, killed over 800 innocent victims. Forgive me if I don’t forgive him,” John said with anger. Petey bowed his head down, signaling that he was done with debating with John. “Petey I admire your innocence, but God doesn’t always create perfect souls. God’s imperfection is proved through the human race,” John said sadly. “So that’s my message to you all. Now you know why you must kill the people on The List. Just remember, you’re saving them from the demons. Demons cannot take over if there are no weak souls out there. So keep up the good work guys,” John ended before he teleported away.


The news of the demons shook the angels greatly, especially Petey. Kurt, Sam, and Anna sat on the couch watching television while Petey sat on the ground, leaning against the wall. He crouched his legs up, grabbing them with his arms, head in his knees. “He doesn’t seem ok,” Anna said to Kurt. Kurt was worried as well. “I know, maybe I should go talk to him,” Kurt said as he stood up off the couch and walked over. He squatted down to Petey’s height. Petey responded by lifting his head off his knees to look at Kurt. “You ok?” Kurt asked lightly. “Probably. It’s just…” Petey paused for a moment. “I don’t believe we’re as bad as we think we are,” Petey stated. Kurt sat down next to Petey. “You mean us?” Kurt asked. Petey looked up. “No, I mean everyone. We’re not as bad as that list says we are,” Petey said. “I like to believe that too. It’s just getting harder to do that,” Kurt said, looking down. “I think those souls that have lost their way can be saved,” Petey said, still looking up. “I do too,” Kurt said, still looking down. “I killed a man today,” Petey said softly. This worried Kurt. “And I felt nothing. I felt like I was saving this man,” Petey finished. Kurt looked at Petey. Petey still looked up. “I just wanted to make people happy,” Petey finished as he bowed his head down into his knees again. Kurt looked down at Petey, understanding his pain. Kurt stood back up, ruffled Petey’s hair, and walked back to the couch. “Is he ok?” Anna asked worriedly. “Yeah, he’s fine. The expectation of others I gave him just doesn’t fit reality,” Kurt said as he sat down. “Maybe you shouldn’t have created him then,” Sam said. “Fuck you Sam,” Kurt said as he stood up and walked to the kitchen. He grabbed a bag of marijuana from the cupboard and went to his room. Anna looked at Sam with glaring eyes. “Why would you say that?” Anna asked with disdain. “That rabbit is an illusion created by Kurt. It’s not real. Kurt is hurting himself by having it around, just like he’s hurting himself with weed and his fucked up vision of life. If Kurt keeps believing that that thing is real, it’s only going to mess himself up even more,” Sam argued out of Petey’s reach of hearing. “Kurt is fine. You’re the one who’s seriously messed up,” Anna said as she stormed off into her room. The angels were now all separated in their own spaces. I still love Petey for defending me in front of John, ultimately because he was right. The reason I deleted hell was to give the souls in there a chance to redeem themselves and become better than they were. I knew it was going to take time to do this, and I knew it was a risk, but it was a risk I was willing to take in order to free these tainted souls from their prison. Part 4: Forgiveness Now I will try to keep one solid timeline through this whole story, but please forgive me if I jump around sometimes to connect attitudes of two separate events. I am


going to do that right now. After the previous event where John told the angels about demons, there was a quite significant event that happened after that, but I don’t feel like it would be best to tell about that event until after I tell about this one. So now I present to you, this event: Anna was the first to return to the loft after watching Kurt and Petey perform at The Act. The apartment was completely empty, completely desolate. Anna walked into the kitchen and opened the cupboard to pull out a bottle of wine. Being a mild enthusiast of wine, she picked a rather tasteful drink, Bernardus Chardonnay. After pouring the wine into a glass, she took it over into the living room and sat on the couch. Sip by sip, she stared at the blank wall. Silence haunted the room, but Anna was not alone. Her emotions started to tease her. Her conscience heckled her. Her mind disowned her. Why? Why did you do this to me? She sipped more and more wine, taking bigger gulps each time, trying to escape her thoughts. They started to fight her. Look at your scars She closed her eyes, bowed her head down. Her arms armed her face. She tried to escape, but it was not working. It was not working at all. Her thoughts started to shout at her. Look at them Tears burst from her eyes. She let out a small high pitched cry, lifting herself up and back down again onto the cushion. This was one of Anna’s worst cries. She cried almost every day before her death, but they were often so temporary. This one stung her. She didn’t cry out in sadness, she cried out in pain; the pain of self hatred, but mostly the pain of loneliness. She continued crying, trying to let every stinging tear out as quickly as possible. The trails they left on her cheeks resembled a withering tree in winter. The stench of death riddled Anna’s life, especially after her own death. Her head in her hands, she felt so much agony, all caused by herself. She cried and cried, as the hands on the clock spun ever so fast. But loneliness hurt the most. As much as Anna disdained herself for what she had done, she cried out of loneliness. All through her life, Anna had many failed relationships, both with men and family. Every day she prayed for someone to save her, but I never responded. I couldn’t respond. It pained me to see Anna cry everyday out of loneliness. When one is lonely, they begin to hate themselves. Anna needed someone to come to comfort her. She looked at the door, hoping someone will come in, see her crying, and rush over to try to comfort her. She begged that someone would open the door and help her. That someone would save her. The door finally opened, and long peach-and-white ears were the first visible sign of her savior. Petey came in and closed the door. He walked down the hall into the living room. He did exactly what Anna wanted him to, and rushed to Anna’s aid.


“Anna, why are you crying? What’s wrong?” he asked in an extremely worried voice. Anna continued crying as she spoke. “It’s about how I died,” she stammered. Petey began comforting her. “Don’t think about that. Whatever it was, it wasn’t your fault,” he assured. “No it’s not that,” Anna said, crying more intensely. Petey started to assume it was murder. “Anna, if it was someone then you must rise above it,” Petey said. Anna cried even more aggressively. Petey sat there on the couch, focusing on Anna, trying to pull her away from sadness. “Anna, you need to overcome this,” he said. “Petey you don’t understand,” Anna insisted. “What? What don’t I understand?” Petey asked frantically. “Petey I killed myself.” Petey widened his eyes and his ears fell low. He stared at Anna, who was still crying over her death. “Why?” Petey asked softly. “I wasn’t happy,” Anna responded, still crying. “Why not?” “I was,” Anna started. “Lonely.” “Lonely?” “I went through another fucked up relationship and got drunk. My mind was so messed up, I just took a kitchen knife and slit it up my wrist,” Anna said as tears came with more and more intensity. “It was so painful,” she cried. Petey moved closer to Anna, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. Anna responded by embracing Petey and letting out her tears along his back. “Anna…” Petey said quietly. Anna continued to sob loudly as she hugged Petey. She stammered into her next statement. “I hate myself,” she cried. “I took away my own life. I’m so selfish,” she continued. Petey hugged her more tightly, and tried to pull her out of her abyss. “Anna you’re strong, there’s only one thing you need to do,” he said. They pulled away from their hug to look at each other in each others’ eyes. “You need to forgive yourself,” he said. Anna’s tears started to dry up, but still came at a steady pace. Petey continued to comfort Anna. “Anna you’re a wonderful person and you deserve a second chance. The world’s forgiven you, now you must do the same,” he said. Anna fell back into Petey’s lap. Her tears had nearly stopped. “Look at me,” she said softly. “Getting cheered up by a rabbit.” She started to smile slightly. Petey looked down at her. “I just want to make people happy,” he said with a smile. “Now tell me about who you were,” he told Anna as she sat back up. Petey then resumed the position Anna had on Petey. He laid his head on Anna’s lap. Anna, willing to tell her story, started to talk about her life. “Well, I was a painter. I did faux finishing in houses for middle class homes. Tacky, I know, but it paid the bills,” she started. Petey lifted his ears up a bit.


“I lived in southern California, Santa Monica to be exact. I lived alone with a cat. I left the cat alone,” she said as she started to cry again. Petey sat back up to try to comfort her. “C’mon Anna, you’re doing great,” he said as she sniffed back up and continued to tell Petey about herself. “Umm… I remember that I loved long boarding. Not surfing, but on a skateboard. So did Chad.” “Chad?” “My final boyfriend. He’s a dick with a tiny dick. We’re not going to talk about him,” Anna said as Petey nodded. “I just remember… Every afternoon I would lie down in the sand on the beach. It would almost clear my mind. On that last day I forgot to do that. Maybe that’s why I gave up,” she finished. Her head fell down. Petey looked up at Anna. Anna was interested in Petey’s life. “So what about you?” she asked, looking at Petey. “Well, I’m two days old. But I’ve experienced everything Kurt has, so I guess I’m more like twenty-two years old. I’m a rabbit who wears red overalls with a blue bowtie and orange gloves. I’m a cartoon, which scares me because of the material my life contains. Big difference between the two in my opinion,” Petey said, which made Anna laugh lightly. Petey laid down back in Anna’s lap. “Petey,” Anna started as Petey looked up. “Would you be offended if I scratched your ears?” she asked with a smile. “Not at all,” he said as Anna proceeded to slightly scratch behind Petey’s long ears, almost like he was her pet; her pet that could talk to her to cheer her up when she was sad. “Kurt really did a nice job of creating you,” Anna said as she continued to scratch Petey’s ears, much to Petey’s delight. “I like to think that I was in Kurt’s mind ever since he was a little kid. Almost like an imaginary friend. Did you ever have an imaginary friend?” Petey asked Anna. “Yes I did.” “Who was it?” “I can’t say, it’s too silly,” Anna said lightly. “Anna you’re talking to a rabbit,” Petey joked as Anna laughed. “Fine. When I was around eight, I used to love unicorns and princess-y stuff like that,” Anna started. “So I remember I would pretend that I had a unicorn as a friend,” she said, as she started laughing at her own self. Petey, however, was taking it more seriously, as he started to create this fantasy in front of Anna’s eyes. Using the power of humor, he presented Anna’s imaginary unicorn she had dreamed about in her childhood. “Like that?” Petey asked. In front of them was a large elegant unicorn. Its rich white coat dressed itself. The horn was a rainbow color, fully capturing the immaturity of an imagination. Anna shed some more tears, but tears of bittersweet happiness. “Yes, exactly like that,” she said softly. She took Petey and had him lay on her lap again. She continued to scratch his ears softly, and continued to tell him about all her troubles, yet all her other emotions as well. It helped her finally find some sort of comfort with her own life, as she poured more and more information about herself to a cartoon rabbit. Occasionally she would stop and think of who she was talking to, but his comforting words would take this concern away.


The two continued talking for a few hours, until Petey drifted off into a deep sleep. Anna forgave him for this, knowing that he had a long day. At around 2:00 AM, she was still awake on the couch, Petey sleeping in her lap. She continued to think about her life, and was starting to accept it as it was. She was with good people, and she started to think that she had been blessed, not cursed. Kurt then arrived through the door. He looked pleasantly tired, as he walked down the hall to see Anna and Petey resting on the couch. Petey’s mouth was wide open as he slept, but Anna was still awake, as she looked at Kurt. “Aww how cute,” Kurt said softly, not to wake up Petey. “He really helped me out,” Anna said with a smile, looking down at the sleeping Petey. Petey continued to sleep, shifting slightly. “With what?” “You know, girly emotions and stuff,” Anna responded quietly. “Are you having trouble?” Kurt asked as she sat down. “Yeah I was. Shit with my past life. Petey worked with me to get over it though,” she said, bowing her head down. “You seemed to have it more together than the rest of us though,” Kurt stated, worried that Anna was no longer the strong one. “I don’t know,” Anna said. “You killed those men with ease though.” “I know. But I don’t know why though. It was almost like I knew that if I didn’t kill them, they would only harm the world more,” she said, bringing her head back up. She wanted to change the subject. “So, how was your night?” she asked. “Oh man, you wouldn’t believe the night I had,” Kurt started, as he began his story. Episode Four: Catapult Part 1: Breaking the Circuit I like to converse with fellow angels in heaven as much as I can. I like to give them information and advice about what I think I know about human life. Even though I created humankind, I can never know exactly what they feel and the reactions they might have to certain events. My favorite part about humankind is how unpredictable they are. So one of the topics that comes up most in heaven is relationships. As you probably know, most relationships fail. It’s so difficult for two people to give up all reason to hate each other and simply enjoy each other’s company. When one finally does that, then love is created. But humans love to hate. I don’t know why. I don’t know what I put in them to create this utter desire to hate each other. Maybe it’s fun or something, I honestly don’t know. But some people don’t have that desire to hate, and simply want to make others happy, or make themselves happy. So back to the story. I believe we left off with Kurt about to tell Anna about his unusual night. Of course, before I tell you about that whole incident, I need to first catch you up on what happened before all that. So here it goes.


First off, let’s back up to the point where all four angels were separated into their own spaces in the apartment. Remember? Sam angered Kurt and Anna by questioning Petey’s reality. Petey, on the other hand, was still distraught by the idea that humankind isn’t always worth saving in the eyes of many. So each angel was in their own space, thinking about the life they were now living. The abnormal life where they kill the weakened souls that riddle the world. A lot to think about in my opinion. Sam was the first to depart from the loft, early in fact. He left about ten minutes after his spat with Anna and Kurt. He went to again tour the city. Mainly to clear his mind. Honestly besides that, nothing too exciting happened to him during his form of meditation, so we won’t investigate that event too thoroughly. Petey still sat there, head in his knees. He asked himself over and over again why people would hate. Why people would not be happy. Why people wasted what was given to them. Why people did not forgive. Questions pondered around his mind. Each of them Petey tried to find the most optimistic answer. He tried to find the answer that made him happier. Not every answer was found. Kurt’s door opened a little later, around 1:00 PM. Petey was now on the couch, taking somewhat of a nap. The loft had been completely silent throughout the whole day. Petey instantly awoke when Kurt came in. Kurt’s eyes were completely bloodshot. Petey wondered if it was from tears or from pot. “Where’s Sam?” Kurt asked quietly. Petey sat up to respond. “He went out,” Petey answered. Kurt sat on the other end of the couch. He laid his head down and stretched his legs in a melancholy fashion. The atmosphere stayed dark for a while, still haunted by demons. Kurt turned on the television to try to create a lighter mood. Petey then worked with Kurt to also brighten things up. “So when will I get a room in this place?” Petey asked as he turned and laid his legs across the couch. This prompted Kurt to stand up and reply. “That’s a good point,” Kurt said, starting to smile. “We have to make your room,” he continued as he walked to the hall. The three doors stood there, in order of Sam, Kurt, and Anna. Next to Anna’s door, there laid an empty wall. Kurt looked at Petey, and extended his hand out. “Would you like to create your own room?” he invited, suggesting that Petey use the power of humor. Petey instantly replied by drawing his room’s door. It looked similar to the other three doors, but it was obviously hand drawn. It wasn’t animated, but still had more exuberance than the other three doors. Petey looked up at Kurt and grinned. He opened the door and peaked inside, and then closed the door afterwards. “How’s it look?” Kurt asked. “Perfect,” Petey said. After the two went about to creating Petey’s room, they watched a crummy movie on television, laughing at the bad dialogue and unrealistic situations. Anna came out of her room around 3:30 PM, and asked the same question Kurt did when he came out. They replied and said Sam was out and Petey, with relief, went to join Kurt and Petey on the couch. “So I can’t wait to watch your show tonight,” Anna said with a smile as she sat down next to Petey. “I forgot all about that,” Kurt laughed as he looked at Petey. “You ready for it tonight?” he asked him. Petey nodded.


“You have to promise me not to put me in a suitcase though,” Petey said with a small laugh. Anna looked at Kurt in surprise. “You locked him in a suitcase?” Anna said in humorous shock. She grabbed a pillow and playfully smacked Kurt with it. “You suck!” she laughed as Petey joined her. “You never put Petey in a suitcase. Never,” she added as she finished hitting Kurt with the pillow. They all laughed joyfully as Kurt promised Petey that he would never put him back in that suitcase. Petey then reminded Kurt of the person he was meeting with that night. “Aren’t we meeting that Jessica girl tonight?” he asked, ears raised up. Kurt raised his spirits as well. “Oh yeah that’s right,” Kurt said. He was now excited for something, talking with Jessica again. He did not know why he had forgotten about her. Perhaps it was all the killing and talk about demons that caught him off guard. Later that night, they left the apartment to drive to The Act in Petey’s car. Sam was still nowhere to be found, much to Kurt’s relief. He did not need any more drama from his brother that night. Kurt and Petey were still trying to set in a mind frame that would be suitable for the performance. Anna tried to help as well by continuing small conversations in the car. The mood needed to be bright for tonight, for their act was about to reach a much larger audience. When they arrived, The Act had a long line outside of it. Kurt noticed the headline on top of the building. The previous night it was blank. Tonight there was a title:

Petey and Kurt 6:00 PM
“Guess the internet did really increase our publicity,” Kurt said as he pulled in the back to park. After they parked, Kurt instructed Petey to teleport into the dressing room, so he wouldn’t be seen. Kurt and Anna walked in through the back and were let in by the door guard, noting Kurt’s performance from last night. Danny instantly greeted the two. “Hey kid! You see the crowds?” Danny asked with his usual excitement. “Yeah. Danny this is Anna, she’s a friend of mine,” Kurt introduced Anna, as Danny promptly shook her hand. Anna smiled; glad to see someone that was finally as short as she was. Danny then asked a question that perplexed Kurt. “So, where’s Petey?” Danny asked, but not in a joking matter. It sounded like he really was wondering where Petey was. Kurt, knowing that Petey wasn’t supposed to be real in Danny’s eyes, responded with a clever quip. “He’s running a bit quick, doing an interview for some late-night talk show,” Kurt joked, which Danny responded with wheezy laughter. Kurt and Anna then walked to Kurt’s dressing room to meet Petey. Their show would start in little less than an hour. Petey was sitting on the couch when they entered, as he scooted over to allow Anna space to sit next to him. Just before the three could become comfortable, the door broke the beat with a knock. Kurt, knowing that Petey was still visible, panicked slightly and stood up. “Who is it?” he asked nervously. “It’s Jessica,” the seductive voice responded. Kurt didn’t tell Petey to hide, keeping his promise of introducing him to Jessica before the show. Kurt opened the door


and invited Jessica in. Jessica did not notice a cartoon rabbit as shocking as Anna as she entered, suspecting that Kurt already had a date for the night. “Oh dear Kurt, having a girl in your dressing room with the rabbit still here? I was hoping you were more tasteful than that,” she said in a light manner, but a serious tone was still noticeable. Kurt and Anna were quick to defend themselves. “Oh no, Anna’s not my…” Kurt started. Panic continued to fill the room. Anna then said something so crazy, it calmed Jessica down. “Actually, I’m here with Petey,” Anna said as she wrapped her arms around Petey. Petey, looking surprised, accepted the situation quickly. Jessica raised her eyebrow slightly, but then burst out into a slight laughter. Jessica sat down at a chair next to the couch to join the conversation. Jessica opened up with questions. “So what do you two have planned tonight? You two have gathered a lot of buzz last night,” Jessica said as she crossed her legs. She was already wearing her dress that she would be performing in. It was colored dark scarlet that sparkled brightly. It wrapped tightly around her body, extenuating her body’s shape. “I don’t know, probably just wing it again,” Kurt said. Petey then stepped in. “I’ve got a few things up my sleeve,” Petey hinted as he winked. This was the first time Petey spoke off stage to Jessica. Kurt looked at Petey to see her reaction. She seemed normal, much to Kurt’s surprise and delight. Jessica stood up to introduce herself to both Anna and Petey. “Hi I’m Jessica,” she said as he shook Anna’s hand first, and then Petey’s. She paid special attention to Petey’s grip, noticing the three dimensional shape of his body. It felt like she was shaking the hand of any other person. “So he is real,” Jessica said to Kurt. Kurt still couldn’t tell if Jessica really believed in Petey’s existence, but still went along with the idea. “I told you he was,” Kurt said as Jessica sat back down. They talked the hour away until it was about time for Kurt and Petey to perform. Anna and Jessica, becoming fine acquaintances during the conversations, grabbed a reserved table together in the crowd as Kurt and Petey set themselves up backstage. While backstage, Petey peeked from the curtains. “It’s completely full out there,” he noticed. This actually made Kurt much more nervous. Petey looked up at Kurt and noticed Kurt’s nervousness and tugged on his jeans. “Hey, are you ok?” Petey asked Kurt, worried that Kurt was too nervous to go on. “Yeah I’m fine,” Kurt said as he quickly shook his head back and forth to relieve his nerves. The DJ’s overruling voice then came in to introduce the comic duo. “Now for the show you’ve all be waiting for: Kurt and Petey,” it said as Kurt walked his way out onto the stage. When he made his way out to the microphone, he saw that Petey was nowhere to be seen. Kurt assumed that this was one of Petey’s ‘tricks,’ and went along with it. “Petey!” he yelled. “Get out here we have a show to do!” Soulful music chimed in. Almost like a theme from a cheesy 80’s TV show, it covered the club. Kurt tried to see where it was coming from, and then saw a creation at the side of the stage. It was a hand drawn stereo, made by Petey. Petey himself came out in slow motion with a pair of pitch black sunglasses and a leather jacket. Trying to make himself look as horribly cool as possible, he added many cartoon cameras to come in and take flashy pictures of him as if he was a celebrity


walking in on the red carpet. He swung his head dramatically to the cheesy music, creating a comic effect of self appreciation. The crowd reacted with instant laughter. Petey finally reached Kurt in the middle of the stage and took his place on the stool to elevate himself to Kurt’s size. He slowly took off his jacket and sunglasses, as if he was the star detective in an old buddy cop show. Kurt looked at Petey with an annoyed face. “Are you done yet?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. Kurt noticed a shrieking laugh from a lady in the crowd. “One second,” Petey said. He whipped his head to the shrieking lady, stopping in a slow motion fashion. He winked at her, adding a shining ‘ding’ sound as well. More shrieking occurred from the lady. “Ok now I’m done,” Petey said as he returned to normal. “I see you’re enjoying your new found fame,” Kurt said, still acting as the straight man. “I am. Do you know if anyone’s filming tonight as well?” Petey asked. “I don’t know; the last one was from someone in the audience.” “Maybe someone’s filming tonight!” Petey insisted as he started to check the audience. “Don’t worry whoever you are, we won’t throw you out. We feel that you’re simply giving us exposure and we respect that,” Kurt said to whoever was filming the act. Petey found the person filming. “There it is!” he pointed as he ran off the stage. Kurt tried to stop him but was unsuccessful. In the middle of the crowd sat a terrified patron, a middle aged man, who was hiding a camera in his bag. Petey ran up to him, trying to ease him down. “Do you mind I borrow this for a second? I’ll return it I promise,” he said. The man nodded nervously, afraid he would be kicked out at the club. Petey grabbed the camera, as people from the crowd were still laughing and wondered by how Kurt was able to do this ‘effect’ of Petey carrying a camera onto stage. Petey looked straight into the camera. “Hello internets!” Petey shouted to the camera. He turned the camera around the crowd. The crowd responded with cheer, trying to be noticed by the camera’s lenses. Petey went back into the crowd to return the camera to the owner, telling him to keep filming. Petey returned onto the stage by jumping from table to table, careful not to spill any drinks that were on it. When he returned onto the stage, Kurt looked at him in the same straight face. “You seem especially hyper tonight,” Kurt said. Petey pointed out to the crowd. “They seem to love it, so everyone wins,” Petey answered as the crowd cheered and clapped as well. The performance continued on for a full two hours. The two never seemed to even start to run out of material. Everything was completely improvisational as well, almost as if it was a never-ending conversation between the two. They finally wrapped it up at 8:00. “Well we’re going to go now, but stay around for Jessica Stanford up next, she’s an excellent singer,” Kurt finished as they received a standing ovation from nearly everyone in the club. Petey and Kurt took a bow and exited the stage. They met Anna and Jessica at the end of the stage. Anna gave them both hugs while Jessica set herself up for her performance. “I’m going to get back home ok?” Anna said to Kurt. Kurt nodded as Anna walked back to the alley and teleported home.


This brings us back to where we left off from the last episode. After Kurt came home and met Anna on the couch, he started to tell about the rest of the night that Anna missed. So he sat there on the couch next to Anna, who had Petey’s sleeping head on her lap. Anna made herself a little more comfortable as she shifted to the left a bit, careful not to wake Petey. “Ok, so you left before Jessica performed, right?” Kurt began. “Yes.” “Ok, so after you left…” Jessica, Kurt, and Petey were all backstage for a few moments to prepare for Jessica’s next act. Jessica walked slowly away from Kurt in her tight dress, as Kurt noticed the long slit on the back, descending down her back, revealing much of her skin. The dress sparkled loudly, screaming for Kurt’s attention, which it managed to receive. Jessica walked back to Kurt, wrapping her arms around him in a highly sexual matter. “So what are you doing after this?” Jessica asked sultrily. “Nothing, you?” Kurt answered nervously, yet somewhat confidently. Petey looked up in disbelief in their corniness. “Well, I know there’s a movie playing across the street,” Jessica started. “And it’s a remake of a Japanese horror movie, which makes a perfect first date shitty movie. I was wondering if you wanted to start it out?” Jessica suggested, still giving an incredibly sexy voice. Kurt smiled. “Start what out?” “You know. The standard circuit of dating,” Jessica said, still with her arms wrapped around Kurt. “I’m definitely on board with that,” Kurt said as he carefully unhitched himself from Jessica’s arms. “But first, I want to see you sing,” Kurt said as he started walking back to the audience. Jessica blew him a kiss and walked behind the curtain. Petey joined Kurt, looking up at him. “You’re such a stud,” Petey said sarcastically. “Shut up,” Kurt replied playfully as they exited from the backstage area. Suddenly they were introduced with applause. The same people who watched their performance were still in the audience. The duo waved and sat down at the same table Jessica and Anna sat at. People stared at Petey, still stunned that the cartoon rabbit was still present. The music started with a synthesized intro, and Kurt instantly recognized the song. “Catapult…” he said quietly to himself. Petey still overheard. “What?” “That’s the song, Catapult; another Crows song,” Kurt answered, eyes focused on the stage. The curtains opened to reveal Jessica and her band on the stage. Jessica’s dress glittered and shined out into the crowd. Eyes were still wide open though at her beautiful body. She started singing the song, changing every ‘she’ to ‘he.’ “All of the sudden he disappears” Kurt wondered why she chose this song. It was one of the harder toned songs that the Counting Crows played, but he ultimately thought that she translated the song well.


“Cause I don’t wanna be alone…” But what did the lyrics mean? Was Jessica bringing a message to Kurt through the song? Or just choosing one of her favorite songs to sing? Kurt pondered over the song’s meaning for quite some time. Others in the crowd focused more on Jessica’s breasts, except for Petey who seemed to just like the song. “I wanna be the knife that cuts into my hands And I wanna be scattered from here in this catapult What a big baby, won’t somebody save me please?” The chorus especially confounded Kurt. The song itself was very dark in lyrical content. Kurt then wondered if Jessica was actually depressed and wanted Kurt to be the one who saved her. Jessica walked off stage and out into the crowd. She teased some of the more deviant members of the crowd by coming close to them and pulling away quickly. She then arrived to Kurt during a guitar solo. The crowd focused their attention on both Jessica and Kurt, seeing what she would do to him. She moved her face closer to Kurt’s ear, whispering just loud enough for Kurt to hear over the music. “I bet you’re just thinking about the song’s lyrics,” Jessica said as she slowly pulled away, smiling and walking back on stage. Kurt wondered how she read his mind. He smiled as well, liking the way she already knew him so well, even though they had only met last night. She finished the song with the audience whistling at her. Everyone applauded, including Petey. “She’s a really nice singer,” Petey noted. Kurt admired his innocent nature. Jessica walked backstage and Kurt and Petey joined her. They walked to her dressing room, talking to her about her performance over and over again. When they went into her dressing room, she instructed the two to sit down on the couch that sat in her room. “You know what I like about you Kurt?” Jessica said as she walked back to the closet on the other side the room. “Hmm?” “I like that you focus on my singing rather than my body,” Jessica said as she walked behind a screen. Her dress fell onto the top of the screen. Kurt did not dare to try to look at her silhouette. “Your stare is… strange. You don’t really look at anything. I can just tell you’re thinking of what I’m singing instead of what I would look like naked,” Jessica continued as she walked out from the screen, dressed in a more casual wear. She wore a pair of tight jeans and a tasteful red blouse as she presented herself to Kurt and Petey. “So, how do I look?” she said cutely as she turned to side to side. “Beautiful,” Kurt said sincerely, looking at Jessica’s body. Jessica walked over to Kurt and lifted him up off the couch, Petey stayed sitting. Jessica brought her face closer to Kurt’s. “So, shall we get going?” Jessica said softly. Kurt nodded and looked down at Petey. Petey in turn knew exactly what Kurt wanted him to say. “Well I have to get going,” Petey said as he stood up and walked for the door. Jessica said good-bye to him as Petey waved and walked out the door. Afterwards he teleported home from the alley and you know the rest.


So Kurt and Jessica’s first date then began that instant. They walked out of the club and down the street to the movie theater to watch the shitty movie. It was indeed shitty. The acting was horrible, the horror was comprised of cheap jump scenes, and the story seemed to simply borrow from other movies throughout history. Both Jessica and Kurt laughed their heads off at the cheesiness of the whole production. After the movie they walked out of the theater and started walking down the less crowded sidewalks. “That movie was absolutely terrible,” Jessica laughed. She wrapped both her armed around Kurt for a moment, almost like a walking hug. She was slightly shorter than Kurt, but they seemed fairly even when they walked together. “I know right?” Kurt replied simply as they continued walking. He put his arm around her shoulder as they kept walking down the sidewalk. Jessica then had an idea to keep the date going. “Have you heard of a hookah bar?” she asked. “Yes.” “I know of one about two blocks away. Want to go?” “That sounds great,” Kurt said as they walked the two blocks to the bar. If it wasn’t for Jessica, Kurt would have never found the bar. It was hidden in an alley and there were almost no signs stating it existed at all. Jessica held Kurt’s hand as she led him inside the bar. The bar was themed after middle-eastern culture. Purple curtains draped down the walls and the seats themselves were simply benches along the walls with pillows on top of them. The bar had an overall dark setting to it, but not a depressing one. The main source of light came from candles that were located all around the bar. The bar itself was nearly empty, and almost no noise could interrupt Kurt and Jessica’s conversation. Jessica grabbed Kurt’s hand and sat him down at a table in the back corner of the bar. “I saw you smoking last night so I assumed that you would like this place,” she said as a waiter brought Jessica a packet of flavored tobacco. She hadn’t even ordered yet, but Jessica said ‘thank you’ and the waiter patted her back as he left back for the kitchen. Kurt continued the conversation. “I remember smoking hookah when I was a teenager. Me and a few of my friends would always go to this one guy’s basement and just hotbox it,” Kurt said as Jessica loaded up the hookah, lighting the coals on top. “Where did you grow up?” Jessica asked before she took the first puff. “Northern Georgia.” “Oh, so you’re a southern boy are you?” “No not at all. We did live in a pretty hickey town though,” Kurt replied as he took his first puff. “I grew up in Long Island. Typical middle class girl you know?” Jessica said as Kurt passed the hose. “Did you have any siblings?” Kurt asked her as she took another inhale. “No, I’m an only child. You?” she said through smoke. “I have a brother. Sam.” “Oh, how old is he?” “24, same age as me,” Kurt said. “Ah, well I’m 26, hope you like older women,” Jessica said. Kurt smiled. “I do. So how long have you been singing?” “Since I was a little girl. I tried to play for a higher class band, but Danny was my only option last year so I decided to just whore myself out,” Jessica said sadly.


“You’re not a whore,” Kurt said. “How long have you been doing stand-up?” Jessica asked. “Since I was 17. There was this small comedy club in my town. I worked there until I moved here last week,” Kurt said, lying about the whole ‘he-just-died-three-daysago’ specifics. The truth is Kurt and Sam died in Georgia, and knew nothing about New York. “You just moved here?” Jessica said surprised. “Yes, with my brother.” “And what does he do?” Jessica asked as she took another inhale. “He’s a writer.” “A good one?” “I would say so, but he has little self esteem,” Kurt said as Jessica passed back the hose. Kurt took a quick inhale and an exhale. Jessica then moved onto a different discussion. “So I have to asked,” she started. Kurt continued sucking on the hose. “When did you meet Petey?” she asked, again implying that Petey was a real being. Kurt quickly made up a story. “Well, I met him when I was 21. He just came into the club and asked for a job. I was still shocked that a cartoon rabbit was asking for a job. I tried him out as a duo act with me and we’ve been together ever since,” Kurt lied. Jessica started to laugh. “Your act still amazes me,” she said. “How you do it, I don’t know. All I know is that I love it,” she said as she took the hose and took another puff. Kurt then realized that he was still keeping the terrible secret from Jessica; the secret that he was an angel. He didn’t dare tell her, but knew he would have to eventually. They continued their conversation for about an hour in the empty bar. They left the bar at around midnight and walked back on the sidewalks. Jessica and Kurt were arm and arm, continuing to talk about their lives and past. Jessica told Kurt that she lived walking distance from the bar so Kurt walked her home. When they arrived, Jessica made the invitation. “Do you want to come in?” Jessica offered. Kurt thought about the possible consequences, but then threw it all out and accepted the offer. She lived in a tiny apartment near the top of the complex. She opened the door and the two went inside. Despite its meager size, it was still a fairly well designed apartment. The living room seemed especially comfortable. It had a sizable television that was watched by two long white couches. Jessica sat down and patted the space next to her to invite Kurt to join her. When Kurt sat down, Jessica immediately laid down against him, closing her eyes. “I’m really glad I met you,” she said softly. Kurt rested his chin on her hair. “I’m glad too,” Kurt started. After a moment he continued on his statement. “I really tried to impress you today,” he said. “Oh really?” “Yes. I just wanted to really make you like me. I was worrying I was trying too hard,” Kurt said. Jessica looked up into Kurt’s eyes. “Really? I was trying to impress you,” she said, laughing slightly. “You don’t need to try to impress me,” Kurt said laughing. Jessica then thought of a final statement. “Ok. I think we’ve both succeeded in impressing each other. How about we stop trying and continue the circuit?” Jessica suggested.


“No,” Kurt said softly. Jessica seemed taken aback for a second. “I want to continue to impress you,” Kurt said confidently. Jessica looked back up into Kurt’s eyes. She stared at them for a few more seconds, until she quickly approached his face. She kissed him passionately, not like the night before, for the longest time. Their mouths locked together for about a minute. Both of their eyes were closed, but Jessica started to increase the sexual nature. She moved her lips down Kurt’s chest, moving closer and closer to his loins.

“No way! You got a BJ?” Anna interrupted Kurt’s story. She punched Kurt’s arm slightly, laughing. “Shhh, you’re going to wake Petey,” Kurt said as he looked down at Petey. His eyes were still closed, but suddenly his mouth started moving. “I’ve actually been awake this whole time,” Petey said softly. Both Anna and Kurt burst out laughing. “Oh God,” Kurt said, knowing that poor innocent Petey had heard the whole story. “So did she actually do it?” Petey asked. “No,” Kurt answered with a smile. “Aww… I’m sorry,” Anna said, still kind of laughing. “No, I told her not to.” “What?” Anna said in surprise, almost in disgust. Kurt continued telling his story. Jessica had reached Kurt’s pants, and unzipped the zipper. Kurt still had his eyes closed, contemplating over the situation. Next thing he knew, his lower region was completely exposed to Jessica, as she prepared for her next act. Kurt then stopped it. “Do you think we may be moving a little too fast?” he asked her. Jessica looked up. She looked extremely worried. “What?” “It’s just that… I really like you. And I don’t want to screw this up by starting it off with a blow job on the first date,” Kurt tried to explain. Jessica cupped her hands over her mouth. “Oh God, you think I’m a slut,” Jessica said, almost ready to cry. “No no no, I don’t. I honestly don’t,” Kurt tried to calm her down. “I just… I really want this relationship to work,” Kurt continued. Jessica then stood up. She started to seem much calmer. “I respect that,” she said. She continued with a statement that would probably make every man out there envy Kurt. “I just like sex. I just do. Sometimes I think I’m sick a little. Why do you think I dance so inappropriately at a strip club for God’s sake? I want them to lust over me. But you it’s different. I don’t want you to lust over me. I want you to like me,” Jessica explained. “I do like you. I honestly do,” Kurt said, pants still down. Jessica smiled and walked to the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of wine with two glasses. She sat back down on the couch and poured into the glasses. Kurt reached down to pull up his pants.


“Keep them off,” Jessica said. Kurt smiled and pulled them completely off, along with his shirt. Jessica leaned back against Kurt, smiling and continued their conversation.

“So you denied oral sex?” Anna said in disbelief. “Yup,” Kurt replied proudly. “Wow. Just… Wow. That is commitment right there Kurt.” “So what happened after that?” Petey asked. “I just continued talking to her naked,” Kurt answered. “Did you at least get to see her naked as well?” Anna asked. “No, she never offered it.” “You are one strange man Kurt,” Anna said as she lifted herself off the couch. She walked towards her room. “I’m going to bed, it’s late. Goodnight Kurt. Goodnight Petey,” she said gently as she walked back into her room. Kurt and Petey still sat their on the couch at 2:30 AM. Kurt asked Petey about Anna. Petey told Kurt the story about how he found her crying on the couch and his effort to cheer her up. Kurt applauded this kindness. They both went to bed at 3:00 AM. They tried to stay up late enough to greet Sam when he finally arrived home at 3:30, but did not succeed. So that’s the story of Kurt and Jessica’s first date. Part 2: Church and Coffee The next morning Kurt was again the first to awake. He woke up at 8:30 AM on that Sunday morning, and found that he could not sleep in any longer. He rose out of bed and left his room. No one else was awake yet, so Kurt kept quiet. He lied down on the couch and turned on the television. Nothing interesting was on so Kurt turned it off. For some reason, Kurt had an itch to go out somewhere. He had an itch to visit a church. So Kurt walked out of his room and down into the garage. He decided to take his hybrid and rolled out into the street. He didn’t know where a church was, so he just cruised around until he saw one. He really didn’t care what type of church it was, as long as it was somewhere religious. He assumed he could catch the end of the 8:00 session. Within less than a minute of driving, he found a large ancient looking church. He parked and slowly walked towards the door. He started to hear the choir singing inside the church. Quietly, he opened the doors and walked inside. He took a seat in one of the back pews. The church itself was not crowded; in fact, less than half the pews were taken. Stained glass brought in the diverse lighting into the church, and it filled almost every inch of the large space. The center stage was only slightly elevated, with the pews surrounding it. The walls were made of cement, fading over time. Kurt looked out into the choir. The choir was not a large one, but it seemed to sound like one. The choir had about five people in it, dressed with white robes. Kurt couldn’t make out what song they were singing, but it seemed to be a typical church song. Kurt then realized that everyone else was standing, and he did so afterwards. Everyone was singing along with the choir, but Kurt only mouthed with the choir, not knowing the words.


Suddenly, one of the choir members stepped forward for a vocal solo. It was a female, and Kurt couldn’t quite make out her face, since he was so far away. However, the voice sounded powerful, reaching notes with more force than a usual church choir. Kurt stepped out from the pew and slowly walked forward to see the singer’s face. After reaching about halfway down the aisle, he realized that the singer was Jessica. Jessica noticed Kurt at almost the same time Kurt noticed Jessica. Her solo had just finished, and another solo had begun from another singer. The other singer had significantly less force than Jessica. Jessica smiled at Kurt, almost a greeting. Kurt stepped back into a pew and watched the rest of the sermon. He noticed that he came in after communion, so the sermon was almost over. After the choir sang, the priest came out to give his final words. “We thank you for coming to this sermon. We hope you continue a prosperous life and drive home safely. May the Lord be with you,” the priest finished. The choir then sang their final song and the audience started to herd out of the church. Kurt, however, stayed sitting. He watched Jessica and the choir sing throughout the whole conservative song. After they had finished, Jessica instantly walked quickly to Kurt. “Hey! What are you doing here?” she asked excitingly. “I was just looking for a good church,” Kurt answered, almost with the same excitement. “So you want to go out and get some coffee?” Kurt asked afterwards. “I would love to, one second I just need to change. I’ll meet you in the front ok?” Jessica said as she ran back off. Kurt in turn waited out in the front. Jessica arrived dressed in a red v-neck and dark jean shorts. She carried a large purse on her shoulders as well. “Ok let’s go, I know of an excellent coffee place down the street,” she said as the two started walking down the sidewalk. “So I didn’t know you sang for a church choir,” Kurt said. “Oh it’s just something I do on Sundays. You know, to work on my voice with other people,” Jessica answered back. “I thought you sang beautifully,” Kurt said, which made Jessica impulsively laugh. “They told me to be more conservative with my voice,” Jessica said, still laughing slightly. “They don’t want any people singing with any more force than the other singers. I can understand,” she finished as they kept walking. “So what are you doing? Coming into church at the last second? You don’t seem like the religious type,” Jessica said ponderously. “I guess I’m a little religious,” Kurt started, twitching a little inside. “I don’t know though, something inside me wanted to go to a church. I hadn’t been in one in so long, so I decided to just go out and find one,” Kurt finished. “Well I’m glad you came,” Jessica said as she wrapped her arms around one of Kurt’s, leaning on him cutely. “Really?” Kurt asked incredulously. “Yup, just another way to impress you,” Jessica said, laughing. They reached the coffee joint, and walked inside. The aroma of bitter coffee filled Kurt’s senses, and almost calmed him in a way. But for some reason Kurt felt odd. He convinced himself that it was not because of Jessica, and it wasn’t. Something else was bothering Kurt, but


he could not pin-point what it was. The two ordered mochas and sat inside, looking out the window as they talked. “So what are doing today?” Kurt asked as Jessica stirred her coffee. “Nothing,” Jessica said as an offering to Kurt. Kurt then realized why he was feeling bothered. He was still keeping a crucial secret from Jessica. He held his head down for a few seconds. Jessica lowered her head down to his. “What’s wrong?” she asked worriedly. Kurt raised his head, and an impulse started to let everything out. “Listen, I’m not telling you everything,” Kurt started. Jessica looked at Kurt confidently, much to Kurt’s surprise. “Like what?” she asked, almost with a smirk. Kurt started to lower his voice. “Jessica, I’ve been keeping a secret from you,” Kurt started. Jessica laid her hand on Kurt’s hand, and said something that shocked Kurt. “I know,” she said. The signal… Kurt’s vision was blinded with scarlet and that damn ringing noise pierced his ears. He begged to himself to not have to kill right now. Not this moment. Anything but this moment. Kurt winced his eyes as Jessica was taken aback. Screams erupted from the streets. Both Kurt and Jessica jolted their heads to look out the window. People in the streets dashed south, yelling as they did so. Kurt was the first to notice the weak. A bright red man stood in the middle of the street, hand in the air, finger on a trigger. Strapped to the man was what looked like a bomb. The coffee house was the next to react, as people rushed out the doors and down the streets. Jessica and Kurt stayed, however. Jessica quickly turned to Kurt. “Kurt, I know who you are. I’ll explain later, but right now you need to do the job. Please Kurt,” Jessica begged frantically. Kurt looked at Jessica in the eyes. For a moment he wondered how Jessica knew. Was Jessica hiding something as well? Kurt pushed these questions aside and transformed into his angelic appearance. Jessica did not flinch. Kurt teleported out into the street as people ran past him. The terrorist turned to Kurt, and smiled. “Kurt!” he screamed with joy. Kurt widened his eyes, the man knew him. “So glad you’ve come! Look everyone! Your angel is here to save you!” the demon shouted. People turned around to watch aimlessly. “How do you know me?” Kurt asked, teeth clenched. “Oh Kurt, we all know you. God’s little Angel of Death.” “You’re a demon,” Kurt said with anger. “Aw... You just realized you’re too late. Yes Kurt, I am a demon. You failed to save this soul,” the demon said with a fake amount of sorrow. People were now fixated at the conversation, people filming and in awe. Kurt unleashed his guns, until the demon stopped him. “Stop! One move and I push this button and boom! Everyone dead! Your move angel,” the demon made his final threat. Kurt did not move. Instead he used the power of humor to summon a comically large ten-ton weight (labeled with the words ‘ten-ton’) over the demon’s head. It dropped rapidly, crushing every part of the demon. Not a drop of the black blood was splattered, but a pool formed around the weight. The demon was gone for now.


Kurt gave a little grin, and looked around at the audience. Most of the crowd had their mouths wide open. Kurt looked worried for a few moments, not sure how they would react. Applause then greeted him. Kurt was relieved as he rushed back into the coffee shop to see if Jessica was still there. She had been watching through the window the whole time. What she was doing surprised Kurt. She was smiling. “Take me back to your place. Both of us need to tell each other what the hell is going on,” she said as Kurt grabbed her hand and teleported away. Part Three: Revelations The two reached the apartment instantly. As they stepped inside, Jessica looked around to inspect the place while Kurt tried to see if anyone was there. He looked around for a few seconds before giving up. “Are those lazy-asses still sleeping?” Kurt asked which made Jessica giggle slightly. It was 9:30 AM now, and all others in the loft were indeed sleeping in. Jessica, in a strangely comfortable fashion, sat on the couch, legs folded across. Kurt followed her, knowing that the two had plenty to talk about, to reveal to each other. They started their goal to hopefully reach some common ground of understanding. “So do you want me to start?” Jessica asked, relating to the explanation of how she knew Kurt was an angel. Kurt nodded nervously. “Well honestly, I don’t know much. But last night I had a dream- Or at least I think it was. But in the dream, someone talked to me. He wore a suit and had this overall ominous tone to him. I think he called himself John,” Jessica started, as Kurt nodded to confirm that the man in her dream was indeed John. Jessica continued. “Well he didn’t tell me much, just that the next day I will meet you at church, which I did, and that you would become… something else. That’s all he told me. I thought it was just a dream, but when I woke up I thought about it more and more. I thought about how you made Petey and all those other images, and I decided that if I indeed saw you at church that I would go along with it. So when I saw you there, I was simply ready for you to… change,” Jessica said as she held Kurt’s hands. Obviously Kurt had much more to explain than Jessica. His revelation would be much greater, as he lifted his head, ready to finally talk. Jessica’s eyes eased his visible nerves as he sighed. “Jessica…” Kurt started, breathing heavier. “Did you hear any of the conversation I had with the terrorist today?” Kurt asked. Jessica nodded gingerly. “He called me an angel… I guess that’s the most acceptable label for what I do, though I’m not sure,” Kurt said quietly. He took another breath to reveal the next sentence. “I kill souls that are weak to protect them from demons. I was too late today…” Kurt revealed sadly, trying to analyze Jessica’s reaction. She seemed still, not quite taken aback by the idea. “To help me kill the condemned, God gave me abilities: Teleportation, and the power to create living images like Petey. I disguise myself with a demonic appearance. I think the disguise was useless today though,” “Why?” “I transformed in public. I’m sure a camera caught that,” Kurt said as he grabbed the television remote from the table to turn on the television. He changed the channel to a news channel, and to Kurt’s prediction, the event that happened just now was all over the


news. Kurt turned to Jessica, seeing if she was overly flabbergasted by the revelation he gave her. She seemed fine, for now. The news cast was blaring. “A terrorist attack was foiled today by what people are calling ‘New York’s Angel,’” the anchor headlined on the news channel. “At approximately 9:18 AM today, a terrorist identified as Sahib Bahkrush threatened to set off a bomb strapped to his chest near a local café. Inside that café happened to be a vigilante with some unusual characteristics, as this security camera footage shows,” the anchor continued as footage appeared and showed Kurt’s transformation in the café. “He then continued to seemingly teleport outside to confront Bahkrush. During their conversation, Bahkrush claimed that this vigilante was an ‘angel of death.’ In another unusual act, the vigilante then summoned a cartoonish weight above Bahkrush, crushing him to death. The vigilante has not yet been identified and investigations are still going on to figure out who and what this man is. We’ll keep you posted as the story unfolds,” the anchor finished as more footage of the incident replayed. Kurt looked at Jessica. “Well I guess the cat’s out of the bag,” he said as he stood up. Jessica then quickly pointed to the hall. “That’s the man who was in my dream,” she said with force. John had walked in and looked at the television. Kurt turned to him. “Well I guess they would find out eventually,” John said. “He told me He wanted to make this public eventually. I just didn’t think he would be so soon. At least they frickin’ love you right now. Let’s hope that stays,” John continued as he watched the television, which showed interviews of people praising Kurt’s actions. Jessica then asked John a question that made him laugh. “So, are you God?” she asked John. “Me? God? No no no, I am not God. I’m just… a friend of his,” John laughed deeply. Jessica stood up and wrapped her arms around Kurt. Kurt sighed softly, relieved that Jessica would even touch him. “Well I think it’s incredible. You’re an angel,” she said softly. Kurt turned around to face Jessica, looking directly into her eyes. He smiled slightly. “I’m worried though,” Kurt said. Jessica gave a puzzled look. “People out there saw what happened, and I’m worried they’ll track us down,” Kurt said, turning to John, Jessica still in his arms. “Impossible, the only ones with entry into this building are you and those who you want to enter. People can try all they want, they won’t be getting into this loft,” John said with confidence. The television then spoke out loudly. “This just in,” said the anchor on the television. “The ‘angel’ has been identified as Kurt Watts, a local comedian and internet celebrity. In his comic acts, he is known for using visual images, specifically his character ‘Petey.’ However, most people assumed it was an act, but the terrorist attack suggests otherwise. With more on this, we report to Susan Myomi,” the anchor concluded as he tossed the story off to a different Asian reporter, reporting from The Act. “Kurt Watts has been known at this club, The Act, as the ‘Magic Artist.’ In his act he would release cartoonish images that would interact with the audience and himself,” the reporter started, showing b-footage from Kurt’s act. “Though he told the club manager, Danny Thomas, that it was simply a lighting trick, people still speculated on how one man could have such an in depth interaction


with his cartoons. One specific account from a man in the audience shows that his cartoon partner, Petey, physically grabbed a camera from the man’s hand and returned it right back on his table. We talked with Danny Serafina,” Susan continued as Kurt and Jessica looked shocked. “Oh shit, they interviewed Danny?” Jessica said worriedly. As they watched the interview, they noticed that much of the interview needed to be censored. “I think the kid’s a ----ing hero. That raghead was going to ----ing blow up the city and he stopped him. I don’t know how he ----ing did it, but he did it, and you don’t see me complaining. I’ve always known this kid is special, there’s no lighting trick or any of that ----. This kid is ----ing special. It’s pissing me off though, he’s scheduled to perform tonight but I doubt he’s coming. He’s probably ----ing scared that some ----ing police are going to be here to arrest him. Kurt, if you’re listening to me, you’re always welcome here,” Danny concluded as the report went back to the reporter. “Also along with Watts, a woman identified as Jessica Stanford, also a performer at The Act, was seen during the scene. As you see here, at the end, Watts disappears with her after killing Bahkrush. A very strange story, back to you Phil,” the reporter ended. Kurt and Jessica looked each other and sighed. They sat back down on the couch, while John stood standing. “So what are you going to do Kurt?” John asked down at Kurt. Kurt pondered for a second, but was interrupted by the sound of a door opening. It turned out to be Sam’s door. He walked out and witnessed the three surrounding the television. “What’s going on? Who is she?” he asked, still groggy from waking up. “Hi I’m Jessica,” Jessica said as she stood up and extended her hand to greet Sam. Sam shook it sloppily. John continued to explain. “Kurt stopped a demon earlier in the morning, in front of the world. The news channels are going nuts,” John said casually. Sam awoke. “What? How the hell did that happen?” Sam said frantically. “The fucker was going to blow up the city, what was I supposed to do?” Kurt defended quickly. “Do they know who you are?” “Yes.” “Kurt!” “It’s ok. We’ll figure this out,” Kurt said calmly. “Actually, it’s going pretty well. The world seems to understand,” John said as he pointed to the television. On the screen were demonstrations of the love for the angels. People were in crowds, holding signs that proclaimed that I was still alive. They proclaimed that angels did exist and that they were protecting the city. Interviews also dressed the scene, with people saying that Kurt should be praised for his actions against the terrorist. Some of the interviews included ‘well I don’t know if he’s an angel’ but people were overall convinced that Kurt’s showings indeed proved that he was an angel. Another door in the loft opened. This time it was Anna’s. Anna slowly walked to the living room, where all of the four was still gathered around the television. She instantly recognized Jessica. The two quickly explained what had happened. Anna was not flustered at all, instead happy that Kurt had finally revealed that the angels were indeed out to protect the world.


Petey came out of his room shortly after Anna, and the group repeated their explanation. He accepted it right from the first sentence, keeping a calm presence throughout. He was excited now that people no longer assumed he was a lighting trick. After some casual talk, however, Sam repeated John’s question. “So, what are we going to do about this? We have to explain this to the public,” Sam said. “We do it at The Act tonight,” Kurt suggested instantly. “The strip-club? Why?” Sam asked. “People already know me there. Cameras will already be there. It will be the best way to get the message out there.” “Won’t there be people wanting to arrest you?” Anna asked. “Let them. I’ll explain what we are to them as well. We want be on their good side anyways,” Kurt continued. “And you think they’re going to believe you?” Sam asked in disbelief. “It doesn’t matter if they do or not. As long as we get the message out there, our actions will be at least somewhat explained to the world,” Kurt finished. Sam, however, was still not fully convinced. “What if they arrest you anyway for killing someone?” “First off, I doubt they would do that, my actions can be completely justified as self-defense. Second, I can frickin’ teleport myself out of any situation. We’ll be fine,” Kurt reassured. Sam gave a distressed look, but knew that this was probably the best option to tell people about their jobs. The room grew ill with silence, which Kurt broke with a light question. “Now who wants breakfast?” he said cheerfully. Petey was the only one to respond with enthusiasm. After about fifteen minutes, Kurt was in the kitchen cooking carrot flavored pancakes as Sam and Anna sat on the couch watching the news report. Jessica stood in the kitchen with Kurt as Petey sat on the counter. John had left, but no one had really noticed. Kurt told Jessica about how the cupboard and refrigerator dispensed anything they wanted, as she tested with a twenty-dollar bill. “So have you always been interested in cooking?” Jessica asked. Petey answered the question before Kurt could. “He was originally going to study in culinary arts, but then went into comedy,” Petey said, giving a comic tsk-tsk. “Not a good trade Kurt,” Petey joked. Kurt laughed and whacked him in the spatula. “Is that true?” Jessica asked. “Yup. Dad was famous in our town for his Irish pub which has this amazing chicken stew. He taught me a bunch about cooking,” Kurt explained as he flipped pancakes on the stove. Petey then adopted an Irish accent. “O’ yes. Bless ‘em Ierish upbringings!” he said, Jessica laughed. “Ey, don’t mock the Irish,” Kurt scolded jokingly, pointing his spatula at Petey. “Pfft, I’m more Irish than you anyway,” Petey said as he twirled his orange strand of hair on the top of his head as proof. “How does he know so much about you anyway Kurt?” Jessica asked curiously. Petey again answered before Kurt could. “Well you must understand… I was in his head ever since he was a kid, so I had to witness everything he did. Trust me, it wasn’t pretty. Especially when teenage years came in,” Petey said in disgust with the last part. Jessica again laughed at Kurt’s expense.


“So when were you finally released from his head?” Jessica asked. This time Kurt finally answered first. “Four days ago, that’s when we became angels. Anna joined us yesterday,” Kurt said as he placed a pancake on a plate and handed it to Petey. “So what was it like becoming an angel?” Jessica asked. “Well, it started off with John telling me that I was dead, and that’s wasn’t too great.” “You died?” “Apparently. I barely remember it, but apparently Sam and I were in a car accident.” “What about Anna?” Jessica asked. Both Petey and Kurt bowed there heads in silence at the same time, knowing about Anna’s death. “What?” Jessica answered. Petey answered before Kurt, this time to Kurt’s relief. “Anna killed herself,” Petey said sadly. Jessica then felt sorry for asking. Kurt cheered her up instantly though. “Pancake for Jessica!” Kurt said as he plopped a pancake on Jessica’s plate. Jessica laughed, knowing that Kurt was only trying to cheer her up, and was successful at it. Kurt slipped his head down and sighed. “Fuck…” “What’s wrong?” Jessica asked. “I don’t know what I’m going to do tonight,” Kurt answered quietly. This worried Jessica, who at first thought that Kurt was confident in revealing his secret to the world. “Why don’t we just do another show?” Petey asked. “It’s not as simple as that. There’s obviously going to be some sort of police there to ask questions. People are going to be there looking for answers, and I honestly don’t know what to tell them,” Kurt said. “Tell them the truth,” Jessica said confidently. Kurt lifted his head curiously. “People saw what happened out there today. Your story seems to match that as best as possible. Yes, it’s crazy I admit it, but I accepted it after you told me. I know not all of them will out there, but people will have some idea of your intentions. That’s what’s important,” Jessica assured. “How did you accept it anyway?” Kurt asked. Jessica raised her eyebrow. “I don’t know… I guess I was just willing to accept something different in my life. And I have to admit, this is different,” Jessica said brightly. Kurt thought about the comment for some time as he continued cooking the pancakes. Maybe the world was indeed longing for a change, and would accept Kurt as an angel just to see some sort of change in an otherwise mediocre life. All throughout the day Kurt kept thinking about how he would explain everything to everyone. Petey, Jessica, and Anna all tried to calm him down throughout the day, Jessica using a different kind of force. Sam, however, encouraged Kurt to continue pondering about what he would say. Sam was still worried that people would hate the angels, seeing them as murderers. Even though the television showed praise, Sam did not believe it. As the sun set, everyone headed out to The Act. They arrived in a tinted van and drove into the back lot. The club was absolutely packed, as a crowd of people swarmed outside trying to enter in as bouncers protected the doors. Kurt had called Danny earlier in the day telling him he was coming. Danny did not believe it, as shown in his welcome. “Holy shit Kurt, you actually came,” Danny said as he left the five in.


“The crowd’s fucking insane tonight. Reporters keep asking me questions,” Danny continued, flustered and frantic. “Sorry about all this Danny,” Kurt apologized sympathetically. “Sorry? It’s frickin’ great! The club’s finally getting publicity! I still don’t know what the fuck you are. Are you explaining all that tonight?” Danny asked. “Yes, we are.” “Good, dressing room is open. You’re welcome on stage anytime.” “Six is a fine time for us,” Kurt said as Danny nodded and walked away. The five went into Kurt’s dressing room and made themselves comfortable, even though they felt anything but comfortable. Sam turned on the small television in the room and changed the channel to the same news channel. The anchor spit something out instantly. “This just in, it has been confirmed that the New York Angel that has been talked about all day will be revealing his identity along with the identity of seemingly other ‘angels’ as well at The Act. This has been confirmed by the club owner, Danny Serafina. We have cameras there and will deliver the performance live to you at six. Stay tuned,” the anchor said. “Shit, they already know?” Sam said. “Good,” Kurt said with a slight amount of confidence. The clock read 5:20 at the time, but the time went by extremely quickly in Kurt’s mind. Kurt had been up on stage many times before and always felt a bit nervous each time. This time, however, was completely different. Kurt was speaking out to the world about something so absurd to normal ears. He still did not know what he was going to say, but made a quick decision as he turned down to Petey. “Petey, are you still willing to do a set today?” he asked. Petey quickly nodded enthusiastically. “What? You’re doing an act? Kurt…” Sam interrupted. “All I know this is completely crazy. This is completely insane. People aren’t going to believe me if I’m out there just telling it blankly. They’ll think I’m crazy. If we integrate this with at least some comedy maybe we can convince more people,” Kurt explained. “Comedy will make it lose credibility,” Sam argued. “Humor won’t make it lose credibility. It will only brighten up a dark subject, and I honestly think that’s what we need to do right now. Always find a time to laugh,” Kurt said confidently. Sam still did not seem convinced, but accepted Kurt’s idea, knowing that he did not have any better ideas. The clock read 5:58. Kurt knew that it was time to tell the world who he, Sam, and Anna were. He led all four, including Jessica, to the stage to finally proclaim his angelhood to the audience. A sweat dropped from his forehead as he walked through the backstage area. He looked out from the side of the stage to see the club completely full, people in almost every space of the club. Cameras surrounded the stage, and microphones provided by the news stations sat on the stage, about seven in all. Kurt sighed and looked back at his friends. “Here it goes.” Part 4: Change


Kurt looked down the stage. Across was Danny, staring back at Kurt. Kurt nodded and Danny proceeded to dim the lights. The DJ introduced Kurt as if he was performing another set on any other night. “Please welcome Kurt Watts!” the voice overshadowed. People thunderously clapped and cheered. As Kurt slowly stepped out, cameras all went off, nearly blinding Kurt at the first second. Was this fame? Or was this curiosity? Kurt did not care very much at this point. Kurt reached center stage, as his eyes looked out into the crowd. He cleared his throat. News stations were reporting from every corner of the club, and Kurt assumed he was live on television. Kurt’s eyes still stayed calm, yet serious. He finally started once the crowd settled down. “You’ve probably been wondering…” he started before he was interrupted with Petey. Petey ran in from the side, panting. “Sorry I’m late. Ok let’s get this show started,” Petey said. The crowd roared for the appearance of Petey. The two had already set the skit up from the beginning, but Kurt acted as though Petey was crazy. “Umm, Petey what are you doing here?” Kurt asked. Petey looked around. “We had a show tonight right?” Petey replied in confusion. “Yes, but I was going to explain to everyone what happened today,” Kurt answered. Petey looked up at Kurt in silence. The audience still looked in absolute excitement. Petey, however, seemed oblivious. “Why what happened?” Petey said, people in the crowd laughed. “You haven’t been watching the news?” Kurt asked. “You know I don’t watch the boring news.” “Well… People found out about our little… secret,” Kurt said. The audience stood still. Petey again seemed oblivious. “…That every song from the ‘80’s sounds exactly the same?” Petey replied as people laughed. People were still itching to know who Kurt was. “No… The other secret… You know, the one about killing people,” Kurt said as Petey’s ears perked up, along with the audience’s. “Oh that one…” Petey began seriously. “…What about it?” he said casually. “Well people saw me… take care of someone in the streets. So now I need to tell them who I am. Are you going to help me or not?” Kurt asked annoyed. “Oh, ok sure,” Petey said as he stepped back and unleashed a white canvas with the power of humor behind Kurt, as he used to it help show Kurt’s words through images. “Ok…” Kurt began. People seemed fixated at this point. “Four days ago, me and my brother Sam… Sam come on out,” Kurt started as Sam walked out nervously. Petey started drawing rough sketches of the brothers. “Well we found out something pretty life changing… We found out that we had died in a car accident. Today we researched it up and there is indeed evidence of our death,” Kurt said, the audience seemed shocked yet tolerant. Petey’s sketches did not include any gruesome images, only euphemisms. “But after we died, we were greeted by a man named John who said that we had died and the only way to get into the promised land, which I assume is heaven, is to kill people who God thinks needs to be killed. Recently we found out that the people that we are ordered to kill are actually souls that are weak and can be consumed by a demon, which is something… we don’t want. Today we witnessed that with Mr. Bahkrush. He was consumed by a demon, who in turn told me I was too late to save Bahkrush’s soul,”


Kurt continued on. He judged the crowd’s looks, who still seemed obsessed. Petey continued to rapidly produce images behind Kurt. “John told us that the people we kill are reincarnated back onto earth, unless they are taken over by a demon. In order to do our jobs, John gave us abilities such as teleportation along with our own individual powers. Mine is to create living images like Petey,” Kurt explained, demonstrating the teleportation and humor powers, as Sam did the same with fire. “Yesterday, we received another member, Anna Birch. Anna come on out,” Kurt said as Anna came out. She looked as nervous as Sam, but still waved out into the crowd. The crowd in turn applauded respectively. “Along with Bahkrush, we have killed a rapist, a serial murderer, and a gang of fifty people. The ones that we kill all seem to bleed black blood. Along with our powers, we were given devilish disguises,” Kurt said as he slowly transformed into his angelic appearance. Sam and Anna did as well. The crowd awed with wonder, not fear. The crowd stayed that way as Kurt continued. “We understand that this is a very radical idea to accept, and we’re not expecting everyone to believe us. But we do not intend to harm anyone that is not on The List. We do this is save the weak from the demons that inhabit the world. I like to think that we haven’t harmed the world from our killings, but instead helped it. And I know that the idea that murder is never acceptable is prominent, I too believe in it. But we have no choice, God himself has chosen these people to die, and be reincarnated back onto Earth. And that’s all I really have,” Kurt started to finished. He looked out in the crowd and saw a couple of FBI agents. “I’m assuming the FBI wants to ask me questions, which I will accept, so…” Kurt said until one of the FBI agents told him to continue the show. Kurt looked confused, but accepted instantly. “Ok… Well I guess we’ll continue to show then,” Kurt said. At this moment the crowd stood up and applauded the angels. They applauded them for a whole minute without any sign of stopping. Kurt looked out in confusion, yet relief. People cheered and found the angels as heroes. They accepted them, and Kurt wondered why. The show continued on after the crowd calmed down. Sam and Anna had left the stage and Kurt returned to his human form. Petey and Kurt continued to do the show as normally as possible, with Petey being more successful than Kurt at this. Petey pointed out the FBI agents watching about halfway through the show, and played off of it. “Look at the FBI agents,” Petey said, Kurt looked down. “They can’t laugh at anything because they need to keep their professional image,” Petey continued as he changed and imitated the FBI agents. His look completely changed, as his ears wrapped around his head to give him a more humanistic and flat head. He even made a suit to wear for the imitation. An earpiece dressed his ear. “Sir, these two are so funny I crapped myself,” Petey said into the ear piece seriously. The crowd laughed, even the FBI agents. “Code brown,” Petey fit in one more joke to continue the laughter. Even Kurt was laughing as well. He looked at Petey, sharing gratitude with his eyes to Petey. Petey winked and continued on the show. Kurt still acted as the straight man in the act, but still had much less influence. Petey ran the show. Kurt started to end the show at 8:00. Kurt kept his eye on the FBI agents throughout the whole show, and noticed that they had lightened up throughout the show. They were even laughing and applauding along with the crowd. After Petey finished up


one last joke Kurt signaled that he was giving the final monologue and Petey stepped back. “Well that’s all we have,” Kurt began before he was interrupted with an explosion of clapping hands and whistling cheers from the audience. Everyone stood up and applauded. Kurt’s eyes widened, while Petey kept a more calm composure, even going into a confident bow. Kurt still stood there, eyes out into the appreciating crowd. He wondered why they weren’t running away in fear; or cursing his name for violent acts. Had the crowd accepted an idea that Kurt himself did not fully believe? Had they accepted the idea that some people truly needed to be killed? The reaction seemed to answer ‘yes.’ Kurt, in one half, seemed relieved that people respected him for what he had done. On the other half, he felt pity for the crowd, who had accepted a murderer. Or course, Kurt was the one who labeled himself as a murderer. Let me assure you, Kurt has never murdered anyone. In fact, Kurt has done the opposite throughout his life. As he ends the lives of the weak, he gives them the guarantee that they will be safe from the demons. Kurt and the angels of death are protectors, not murderers. It takes Kurt a while to finally accept this, and I can understand why. As I created Kurt’s soul, I wanted to try something new. I wanted to give a soul a pure sense of compassion and empathy for every living creature as the soul’s main component. While I still included the same humanistic flaws that infect every other soul, they seem much less harmful as love is more present. I created Kurt’s soul in 1881, the same year his soul was left on the earth. His first life went under the name George Leiferson, but his friends nicknamed him ‘Rabbit.’ Rabbit lived in Oregon for his entire life, seen as a town celebrity for his kindness and selflessness. He raised two children with his loving wife, Francine. He worked as a biologist, studying in the forestry that surrounded the town. He died before The Great Depression began in 1929. In any normal condition, Rabbit would have earned his spot in Heaven for his excellent performance on Earth (His wife Francine entered Heaven in 1940, while his children entered in 1985, exactly when Kurt was born incidentally). But I did not want to rob Earth of Kurt’s soul. Also I wanted to see Kurt’s soul go through another run on Earth. So as he died at the beginning of the Depression, he was reborn in the middle of it. In 1933, David Kaddel was born in Pennsylvania. Though poverty-stricken through The Great Depression, David’s family, which included three other siblings, strived on David’s bright nature. David would always make his family laugh during times when they needed to laugh. By the end of The Depression, two of David’s siblings had passed away. However, he still lived by his days with a smile that was infectious to everyone around him. David grew up to be an entertainer, performing at local clubs in Pittsburgh until his death in 1985. His performances would always cheer up the city folk and the ones who traveled to the town. A statue still stands today in front of the theater he performed at. Again, David Kaddel would have certainly had the opportunity to enter into Heaven. On his second life, I had determined that Kurt’s soul was indeed pure enough to enter Heaven. As David stood in front of me, I told him it was time to enter the promised land. However, I also had the urge to commend him for the life he lived. I then mentioned the idea of sending him back to Earth to spread his generosity once more, mainly as a joke. David told me to do it. He told me to reincarnate him again. I know Kurt does not remember all this, and I still haven’t told him this story, but after catching a glimpse of the promise land, he said ‘send me back.’


Kurt continued to watch the crowd applauding him. Kurt finally bowed as Petey had done and started to leave the stage. Jessica dashed up to Kurt and gave him a kiss. “How’d I do?” Kurt asked once his lips were free. “Great,” Anna replied with a smile. Even Sam seemed more relaxed. Kurt turned around to the FBI agents, who were approaching him from the side of the stage. People herded out of the club, but reporters and cameras still stayed as they reported with commentary of the act. “I gotta deal with these guys,” Kurt said as he approached the FBI agents. However, Anna, Sam, Jessica, and even Petey followed him. Kurt stopped along with the four in front of the FBI agents, and extended his hand to greet them. “Hello, Kurt Watts,” Kurt said as the FBI agent shook his hand. “Pleasure to finally meet you. I’m Agent Williams,” Williams said. “Now I want to make this quick. The FBI wants to be on your side and will not obstruct your efforts to protect the nation and assumes that you will not do to the same to us. Here is my number,” Williams said in a fast pace as he gave Kurt a business card. “We can arrange for licenses to kill by Monday, but they are kind of… redundant at this point,” Williams said as he laughed slightly. Kurt was shocked by the agent’s light nature. “If you ever have any information you want to give to the FBI, feel free to call us. Remember, we are on your side. In our eyes, you haven’t killed anyone that hasn’t intended to harm the nation,” Williams concluded. “Thank you Agent Williams. We’ll keep in touch if we need any help,” Kurt said, smiling slightly. The FBI agents started to walk off, but Williams turned around. “And Kurt, I’m a religious man. And I believed every word you said,” Williams finished as he walked off. Kurt held the card in his hand, still with a look of shock on his face. “Wow, that worked surprisingly well,” Sam said. Kurt still stood still. Kurt had somehow gathered as much of the world as he possibly could to be on his side. Kurt finally smiled wholly. “Yeah, I have no idea why though,” Kurt said as he laughed. Reporters finally noticed that the angels had not left yet, and all gathered around them. They asked them questions frantically. The angels responded with a group teleportation to amaze the reporters. Kurt’s speech ultimately worked because people have the desire for change, especially during this time where change seems so necessary and appealing. The idea that angels were in the world protecting people was simply accepted by the majority of people. Kurt’s speech was indeed crazy. He flat out told the world that he was an angel that killed people. Though he proved it earlier in the day, people still accepted it because they simply wanted a change in their mundane lives. When Kurt presented that change, they instantly accepted it. Of course, not everyone accepted it. But we’ll touch on that later on. Episode Five: Cowboys Part 1: Training Sam sat there in his room, looking straight at his computer screen. Unlike Kurt’s barren room, Sam furnished his room with a desk, computer, and even a television with a beanbag chair. Along with that was a large bookcase filled with comic books and graphic


novels. After the night Sam had, he felt finally inspired to start a new novel. Only problem was, he couldn’t think of the first sentence. He continued to stare at the screen aimlessly. His mind wandered around like a butterfly, fluttering and tickling other events that had occurred recently. Sam shook his head to try to stay focused on finally typing. He thought about the possibility of other angels around the world. He then pondered his own state. That night Kurt had revealed their identity to the world. When they came home from the club, the first thing Sam did was turn on the television. On the television were the reports of the speech Kurt gave, along with commentary suggesting that the angels were now celebrities. Interviews proved that a majority of people did in fact believe Kurt’s explanation. Sam couldn’t believe this. Not because Kurt had explained it poorly or anything, but because of how radical the idea was. They were angels that killed people. Who would accept that? The angels celebrated the revelation, popping bottles of champagne. Sam preferred beer. Anna preferred wine. Petey did not drink alcohol. Kurt and Jessica were the only ones to enjoy the champagne, and they did graciously. It gladdened Sam as much as it sickened him to see Kurt and Jessica’s mushy flirts with each other. Around 11:00, Jessica was in Kurt’s arms on the couch, eyes closed as Kurt gently kissed her neck. Petey was fast asleep as his head slept on Anna’s lap. Sam had his legs stretched across the open areas of the couch. They continued watching the news reports. When everyone started herding out to bed, Sam asked something to make Kurt’s ears prick up. “Where’s Jessica sleeping?” Kurt quickly stood up. “Well, I can make a new room for you Jessica unless you want me to take you home. I’m not sure if the paparazzi are still there or not but I can probably avoid them,” he said slightly nervously. Jessica stretched as she also stood up. Her voice was seductively soft. “Actually, I would prefer to just sleep with you,” she said, almost with a moan. She fell in Kurt’s arms as he smiled. Sam rolled his eyes as they walked off to Kurt’s room. Both Anna and Petey had retreated back into their rooms. Sam slowly stood up, turned off the television, and went back inside his room. Sam finally decided to start the novel. He turned on his computer and stared at the computer screen. Different thoughts rushed into his head. He thought about his brother. How did Kurt strike Jessica so well? He thought about Jessica. He imagined her body, and matched it up to Kurt’s. There was definitely an imbalance. He knew that Kurt and Jessica were in the room next to him, probably fucking. They weren’t. The digital clock on Sam’s nightstand shone 12:00 with its blood red light. Sam turned back to his screen. He still couldn’t think of a first sentence to finally start this novel. He had a fine idea of what the novel would be about. The idea had been in his head for some time, way before he became an angel. After almost an hour of staring at the screen, he gave up and hoped that sleep would provide some inspiration of that first sentence. Sam’s eyes slowly opened. His clock shone 9:20. He looked out the window. The sun was shining brightly from the east. Birds chirped as Sam rose out of his bed and dressed. He opened his door and saw that the rest of the gang had already started preparing breakfast. He smelled ham, and then instantly recognized Kurt’s omelet recipe. He walked into the kitchen, and indeed Kurt was preparing omelets.


“Morning sleepyhead,” Kurt said as he plopped an omelet on a plate and gave it Sam. “Thanks,” Sam said as he stayed standing in the kitchen as he ate the omelet. He looked in the living room. Anna and Petey were on the couch watching cartoons while Jessica sat along the window bench reading the newspaper. A coffee cup sat on the table along with Jessica, who was dressed in a robe. Her hair was much darker, and Sam realized that it was wet. Jessica had just been in the shower. Sam turned to Kurt; his hair was also a darker shade of brown. Sam finished his omelet and invited Kurt to his room for a quick chat. When Kurt followed him, Sam closed the door. “Dude, nice,” Sam said, extending a high-five. Kurt accepted it and laughed. “What?” Kurt said, still laughing. “You know… Jessica,” Sam continued, still excited for his brother. Kurt still laughed. “Nothing happened,” Kurt insisted politely, but still laughing. Sam didn’t believe this for a second. “Oh yeah right. I know you hit that. Tell me you hit that,” Sam said. “Well, we did make-out in the bed… And she really did want to do it. But I insisted we didn’t,” Kurt said calmly. “What?” “I promised that the third date would be the date we had sex on.” “What’s wrong with you? She wants to have sex now! How you got her to want that already is beyond me. But you’re really pushing it,” Sam said, now laughing. “I don’t know… I just really think she’s the one,” Kurt said with a smile. “The one?’ That’s so clichéd,” Sam laughed, and Kurt joined in shortly afterwards. “I know… But I really like her, I just didn’t think sex was the right thing to do last night,” Kurt explained. “Oh, so you did it this morning then. I get it,” Sam said. “What?” “Kurt… You were both in the shower. I can tell by your hair.” “Well yeah… But we didn’t have sex. She wanted to… But…” “How do you share a shower without even the urge to get down with it?” Sam asked. “You’re not human Kurt… You’re just not,” they laughed. “C’mon, I think we should finally start training to be angels,” Kurt said. “What?” “You know that room that can be anything we want it to be? Well I set it up to be a perfect training room. Anna and I were going to practice so we don’t have any mishaps on the next kill,” Kurt explained as Sam followed him out into the living room. Anna was still laying on the couch petting Petey. “C’mon. Let’s go train,” Kurt said. Anna groaned and stood off the couch. She started over to the door on the other side of the living room. Jessica and Petey sat still until they were invited. “You guys can come watch too,” Kurt told them. They followed them into the door. Once they went in, the room shifted its scenery to Kurt’s demand. It was now a futuristic training room. The walls were painted with silver metal, as the floor also had some sort of metallic covering. Nothing spread across the left area of the room, but on the


right was a sort of resting area, accompanied with couches and a fridge. Sam was impressed. “What was your inspiration for this?” Sam asked as he walked out into the training area. “I read one of your X-men comics,” Kurt said. Sam laughed slightly, knowing the danger room well from the comics. He continued to look around at the emptiness of the training room. Petey and Jessica both approached the couches and sat down. Kurt started the training. “Ok. Lately we haven’t been killing quickly enough. The last three kills were all demons. I think this can be fixed by utilizing our teleportation more. So…” Kurt explained. Sam looked back out into the training area. Out of nowhere, a black shadow formed from the ground up in the middle of the area. It formed the shape of a regular male, and stood there, only with the motion of breathing. “…As you can see, I created a shadow to practice on. The shadow cannot strike us, but will still make the movements to do so. That is, his body will go straight through you as he attacks. I’ll go first,” Kurt said. He approached the shadow slowly. The shadow in turn reacted by putting itself into a fighting stance. Kurt quickly teleported behind the shadow before it could recognize the movement. As Kurt pulled out his guns, the shadow started to turn around. Kurt shot the shadow halfway before the shadow can look at Kurt’s face. The shadow fell to the ground quickly and disappeared. Kurt kept a stern face as he dropped his arm holding the gun down. He then smiled and teleported back to Anna and Sam. “See, it’s that easy,” Kurt said. Jessica clapped playfully. Kurt created another shadow and offered the next kill. “Who wants to go next?” Kurt asked as he winked. “I will,” Sam said. Sam unleashed his swords and loosened up his neck. He approached the shadow as Kurt did. “Ok, it’s ready for you,” Kurt said softly. Sam bent his knees in his own fighting stance. His swords’ tips rested on the ground, as Sam held them casually. Sam then quickly teleported behind the shadow and swiped both blades to the right, slicing through the shadow smoothly. The shadow dissected into three separate chunks that fell to the ground and disappeared. The group clapped as Sam walked back. Sam did a humorous bow and sat back on the couch. “Your turn Anna,” Sam said as Anna walked up. Kurt created another shadow and Anna pulled out her daggers. Anna approached the shadow as it responded by posing in its fighting stance. Anna teleported, but the group couldn’t see her reappear. The shadow looked around quickly to try to find her. However, the shadow then made a twitch and black blood gushed from his neck. Anna reappeared after using the power of stealth to make her invisible. Her dagger dug into the shadow’s neck, as the shadow slowly fell to the ground. Anna teleported back as the group applauded. The group continued on with different exercises. Petey and Jessica continued to watch from the rest area. Petey lied down with his head in Jessica’s lap as she scratched his ears as Anna would always do. They watched the three angels go through group exercises, annihilating their shadow target within seconds. Sam was becoming noticeably more comfortable with his weapons. He only used the power of flame sparingly, but unleashed his swords liberally. They killed each shadow with ease. Too much ease.


After one last exercise, the three angels met back with the two spectators in the rest area. They sat on the couch. Kurt was in Jessica’s arms, as Anna grabbed Petey into her arms. Sam sat on the arm of the chair. “Well, I think we’re really set on this now,” Kurt said with confidence. Jessica kissed Kurt on the cheek and giggled. John, however, ruined this mood as he came in from the shadows. He walked over to the group sitting on the couch and smiled. “I like to see this. The angels training up for the next kill,” John said as he adjusted his tie. “Did you see us? No one’s got anything on us anymore,” Sam said as he walked over to the fridge to grab a beer. John wasn’t impressed. “Oh yeah?” John started as he put his hands in his pockets and looked down at his leather shoes. “You think they’re going to be like the shadows you’ve been fighting?” John said harshly. John spread his left arm up into the air. “Let’s see how you do against one of these shadows with the abilities of a demon,” he said as the training room became decorated with one more shadow. It was very similar to Kurt’s shadows, but did not even make a breathing motion. Kurt, Sam, and Anna stood up to prove John that they were indeed superior. “Let’s do it then,” Anna said as she took out her weapons as did Kurt and Sam. Petey and Jessica sat still, a little more nervous than the previous training exercises. Sam was the first to try to attack. He teleported behind the shadow, but as he swung his blades, the shadow teleported as well to the side of the area. The shadow turned his head and made a loud hissing noise at Sam. Kurt fired a shot at the shadow, which simply bounced off the shadow. Kurt gave a shocked look, but Anna continued the fight. She teleported straight to the shadow and swiped her knives. The shadow teleported soon enough to avoid the attack, but Anna quickly followed it with another teleportation. The shadow again teleported to evade her attacks. This same pattern went on for a few more tries, until Sam called for a wall of fire at the shadow’s next teleportation. The shadow went up in flames, screeching and running around. Sam gave a pleased look, but John was still not impressed. The shadow seemed to be in more anger than in pain. Soon the shadow stopped running, even though he was still on fire. It gave one last screech, and grew in size. It became a larger monster, complete with a reptile-like tail and scaly skin. Long teeth protruded from its mouth. Kurt reacted by shooting his guns rapidly at the monster. The bullets still had no effect on the monster. Anna and Sam both made their efforts to stab the monster. They teleported on the monster and stuck their blades into the monster. It screamed with each swipe, but did not slow down its momentum. It seemed to be invincible. Sam and Anna continued their efforts while Kurt ran around shooting different parts of the shadow. Off on the sides, Petey and Jessica watched intently. Jessica seemed worried, Petey seemed annoyed. John stood their emotionless. Petey looked up at John, confused at his gaze off into the fight. The angels were obviously losing. Petey decided to try to help. He stood up and extended his right hand out. From the hand came many sharp lines. Products of the power of humor, the little black lines extended as they flew into the air. About fifteen separate lines, they turned their direction as they approached the monster. They laid flat in the air as they rapidly flew at the monster. The monster turned around too late as the lines sliced through the monster’s body. Each line made a clean cut through and through the monster’s body. Very much like the effect the sword Sam had on


the previous shadow, the lines caused for the monster to be cut into many different pieces that fell done onto the ground. The monster was dead. John was the first to clap enthusiastically. Kurt turned around in confusion to see Petey, still with his hand extended out. Jessica’s eyes were wide open, mostly impressed. Sam simply didn’t believe it. Anna just seemed tired teleporting around. “Let’s give a hand to Petey. After all of your shenanigans, he killed the shadow with one movement. Looks like he’s the best angel you guys got,” John said, still clapping. “Oh come on, he’s a fucking rabbit,” Sam said. Kurt and Anna laughed. Petey still seemed a little nervous, as did Jessica. “Well, it’s the second time he’s saved our ass,” Kurt said as he ruffled Petey’s hair and walked over to the fridge to grab two carrots, one for him and one for Petey. “The power of humor has always been my favorite,” John winked as he disappeared off into the shadows. The group made one check to see if he was still there, but instantly knew that he wasn’t anymore. They continued on. “Well that was a tough one,” Kurt said casually, arm wrapped around Jessica. “I don’t know, it seemed like that monster thing had you guys,” Jessica said nervously. “Nah, it was fine. See? Not a scratch on us,” Kurt said confidently. “It seems like the demons don’t flinch at our attacks though,” Anna said. “You have to surprise them,” Petey said quietly. The group nodded. Petey still seemed stunned from his performance. Kurt was worried for Petey, and stood up. “Well, I think that’s enough training for one day. Let’s move back to the living room, I’ll make some lunch,” Kurt said as the group listened and started to move out into the living room. Petey stayed sitting on the ground as Kurt approached him. Petey stood up and looked at Kurt. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Kurt asked as he kneeled down to Petey’s height. “Nothing,” Petey answered softly. “You know you don’t have to this, Petey.” “Do what?” “Kill. I know you don’t want to. Don’t ever think that this is your burden as well,” Kurt said seriously. Petey looked off to the side. “I don’t want something bad to happen though,” Petey answered somberly. “Nothing bad will happen. Trust me,” Kurt said. Petey wasn’t convinced, after both the times he’s had to save them, but still pretended to be comforted by Kurt’s words. He turned back to Kurt to give him one final word of advice. “Ok. Just… use the power of humor when you’re in trouble. Sometimes it’s the only weapon we have,” Petey said as he walked back to the living room. Kurt stayed still in the training room for a few more seconds, pondering Petey’s words. He finally stood back up and walked into the living room with the rest of the group. The group was focused on the television, which had an urgent news report on it. According to the report, the threat level in New York City was at a high due to a bomb threat. Sam seemed ready to go out and kill the threat, but Kurt stayed calm. “Let’s just wait and see if the signal goes off,” Kurt said as he headed off into the kitchen to start preparing lunch. Sam was still focused on the news report, excited by the threat. Jessica joined Kurt in the kitchen, while Petey and Anna both seemed bored by the report. “Can’t we watch something else?” Petey asked.


“Shut up, this is important,” Sam said, not moving his eyes away from the screen. The reporter made a quick comment about the possibility of the angels coming in to save the day. Sam’s senses heightened at this comment, tickled by his own fame. Jessica and Kurt began a conversation in the kitchen. “So what are you making?” Jessica said as she wrapped her arms around Kurt, who working on the cutting table. “Salmon,” he said as he turned to grab some more spices. Jessica let go of him so he could work. “Are you going to perform tonight? I’m off tonight,” Jessica asked. “Nah I don’t think so,” Kurt said calmly, still focusing on the preparation of lunch. “Well… I really would like that third date tonight,” Jessica said seductively. This caught Kurt’s attention, as he turned around and smiled. “That sounds like a good plan,” Kurt said as he wrapped his arm around Jessica’s shoulder and let her help prepare the lunch. The day went by quickly in the minds of the angels, even though it consisted only of lying on the couch and watching television. They watched the news reports for a little longer, until they switched to a movie channel and watched old detective movies. After three full movies, Kurt and Jessica stood up to prepare for their night out. The other three still stayed sitting and watching movies. “Ok, we’re going to get going,” Kurt about thirty minutes later. Jessica was by his side in a well-prepared outfit. She wore the little black dress, which was accompanied by a black rose-shaped fabric on the shoulder. Kurt wore a black jacket along with khaki pants. “If the signal goes off, can I trust you guys to make the kill?” Kurt asked as he adjusted his jacket. Sam grunted ‘sure,’ as his eyes still fixated at the television. “Have a good one,” Anna said cheerfully. “Thanks. Sam,” Kurt said as he gently threw a cell-phone at Sam. “I’ll call you if the signal goes off,” Kurt finished as he left the loft with Jessica. After about two hours, Sam was left alone on the couch, still watching old movies on the television. Anna and Petey went off somewhere, he didn’t really care where they went, but they weren’t at the loft. Sam lied on the couch, legs spread out in a comfortable fashion. The signal… “Aww shit,” Sam said as he quickly stumbled off the couch. The piercing noise continued longer than Sam was used to, but went away when the phone Kurt had given Sam rung in his pocket. Sam quickly found it and answered. “Yeah I got it,” Sam responded quickly. “Ok, is Anna there with you?” Kurt asked over the phone. “No, I don’t know where she and the rabbit went. Don’t worry I can handle this,” Sam said as he hung up and walked quickly to the door on the other side of the living room. He went inside and saw The List on its podium. He spread it out on the wall and read the condemned’s name. Scott Matterton Intent to harm the innocent


“Sorry Scott…” Sam said as he turned into his angelic appearance and teleported away. Part 2: The Third Date Now, I’m going to tell the story of the angels’ night in three different segments: Kurt and Jessica’s date, Anna and Petey’s night out, and Sam’s kill. Each ties together into one very significant night. Let’s first start off with Kurt and Jessica’s third date. The night began after Kurt and Jessica left the loft. They fell into the garage, dressed with an impressive looking car. Kurt approached it, suggesting that a car would be needed for the night. Jessica quickly questioned this. “We’re driving?” Jessica asked. “Well, yeah. I thought we could drive around until we find somewhere good,” Kurt said. Jessica slowly walked to Kurt, and wrapped her arms around him. “We don’t need a car though. You can teleport us wherever we want to go,” she said. Kurt did indeed have this on his mind, but wasn’t sure Jessica would be scared of this idea. “That’s a good idea. Where do you want to teleport?” Kurt asked softly. “I don’t know. Take me somewhere you’ve always loved to go,” Jessica said as her lips moved slightly with each word. Kurt thought for a few seconds before he found the perfect idea in his mind. “Close your eyes,” he said. Jessica smiled and gently closed her eyes. Kurt looked at Jessica’s face for a few moments. Her face was the closest Kurt had ever been to true beauty. He stared at Jessica’s closed eyes, reading each eyelash carefully, analyzing her emotions through her smile and motions. He teleported far, far away… “Open your eyes,” Kurt said softly. Slowly, Jessica opened her eyes. As she was opening her eyes, she first noticed the sounds of crickets chirping. When her eyes did finally open, she noticed loads of weeping willows blocking out any natural light that may have come from the sky. She looked down at the muddy ground, and then around at the swampy surroundings. Light came from various torches that stood from the ground. To the left of her vision was a small road, but no cars seemed to ever travel by it. “Where are we?” she asked in curious wonder. “In a Georgian swamp. Look in front of you,” Kurt answered. Jessica looked straight and saw a humble looking hut-like restaurant. Kurt led her to it as they walked slowly through the swamp. “This place has the best food I’ve ever had,” Kurt said. Jessica ducked her head to avoid the long branches that fell from the sky. She was not used to so many plants after living her life in a concrete paradise. When they reached the front of the restaurant, Jessica noticed all old the building looked. The wood had a greenish age to it, as the deck had many holes in it. A tilted sign said ‘Jack’s Swamp.’ Kurt opened the creaky door for Jessica as she cautiously stepped in. The interior surprised Jessica with its high-class façade. The wood inside looked polished and neat and the tables were carefully organized and dressed with a dark green cloth. The whole restaurant seemed empty, with no customers in Jessica’s sight. A waiter quickly greeted the two.


“Hello, welcome to Jack’s Swamp. Table for two?” Kurt nodded and walked Jessica to follow the waiter. The waiter sat them next to the window, which provided a perfect view of the swamp. “Wow Kurt. This is… different,” Jessica giggled as she grabbed the menu. She read the menu and saw rather high-class meals on it, as she widened her eyes. “There’s some nice things here,” Jessica noted. “Yeah, it’s a high end restaurant. You just can’t tell from the outside,” Kurt said. “So how far away are we from where you used to live then?” Jessica asked. “About forty miles, we only came here on special occasions,” Kurt said, offering some insight to her on his past. The waiter came by and took their orders, and Kurt and Jessica kept talking non-stop about their lives. However, not much came up about Kurt’s job as an angel. I think Jessica did not want to talk about that yet, seeing as it may bring an uncomfortable discussion between the two. She decided to keep her questions about the supernatural to a minimum for the third date. The food came quickly, and the two ate satisfied. Jessica believed Kurt’s statement as the best food she’s ever had. The food was indeed delicious, and the bill was reasonable. Kurt paid with some money he took from the cupboard. They left after an hour and walked around the swamp. Jessica made a statement during the dinner stating that she thought the surroundings were mysteriously beautiful, so Kurt wanted to stay and show her the swamp some more. The walked down a small trail with minimal bugs and loose branches. “So how similar is your home-town to this?” Jessica asked as she leaned against Kurt as they walked down the trail. “Not very similar at all actually, my town was more in the savanna. The swamps simply surround it,” Kurt said as she held Jessica. They kept a very slow pace along the path. Thin streams of light from the moon slit through the willows’ branches and provided light for the couple as they walked along. “I’ve never dreamed of traveling to anywhere like this,” Jessica said softly. “I guess I’ve always been stuck in the city. It’s really nice to finally leave it and explore for a change,” she added. “I’ve always wanted to visit the city myself. Guess I live there now,” Kurt said. The signal… Kurt winced at the sign of the signal, and Jessica instantly noticed. “What’s wrong?” she asked. “The signal came in for another kill,” Kurt answered as he took out his cell phone. He called Sam, and you know how that went so I won’t repeat the dialogue. Jessica decided to finally ask Kurt about the uncomfortable subject of his angelhood. First, though, she decided to stop the slow walk they were having and to finally sit down. “Come, let’s stop and sit here,” she said. She found a small opening to a view of the water. She sat down right in the mud, not giving a care about becoming dirty or anything. Kurt joined instantly, smiling at Jessica as he sat down. Jessica then took out something from her pockets. “C’mon. Let’s get high,” she said. Kurt saw that the objects in her hand were joints.


“I told Sam I wouldn’t…” Kurt started. “…But ok,” he finished and he grabbed a joint. Jessica searched her pockets for a second. “Crap, I forgot a light,” she said. “Don’t worry about it,” Kurt said as he created a lighter with the power of humor. Jessica laughed as she lit the joint with the cartoon image, but still took quite a large first puff. Kurt took a significantly smaller inhale as he stretched out and lied down. Jessica started the next conversation. “So… How does it feel to be an angel?” Jessica asked nervously. Kurt turned his head. “Honestly… It ain’t bad so far,” Kurt responded. “I think it’s amazing,” Jessica responded as she took another puff. “It’s hard to kill people, I’ve always been kind of a pacifist,” Kurt answered. “Yeah I know that’s really hard to do. But aren’t you really saving those people? I mean, if you don’t kill them, they lose their soul to a demon. And besides, look at the great powers you guys get. I mean, that just seems so cool in my opinion.” “I did enjoy creating Petey.” “See? There are some good things to all of this,” Jessica smiled. She finished off her joint. Kurt hadn’t, but put it out to be a certain equal nature with Jessica. “And I met you,” Kurt said, adding to his makeshift list of positives of being an angel. Jessica turned and moved into Kurt’s arms, as he wrapped his arms around her intimately. Silence gifted a sense of comfort for the two for a few seconds as they looked out into the water. The cool mud on their backs felt good against the humid air. Crickets sang a quiet ballad for the two as the moon still kept an ambient light on the water and in the air. “It’s the third date,” Jessica noted. Kurt nodded. “Are we going to have sex tonight?” Jessica asked softly. “You’re asking me? Ain’t I the one who’s supposed to be begging for sex?” Kurt laughed. Jessica turned to Kurt and quickly locked lips with him. Their mouths played with each other, but without the excessive use of tongue to chock each other. That’s something I hate you humans do. You ruin a perfectly situation by using too much of you goddamn tongue. I didn’t make the tongue to be a sexy part of the body, so stop trying to make it. “So should we get going back to the loft?” Kurt said quickly before Jessica stopped his lips from reaching air. Jessica took a break from kissing for a second. “No,” Jessica said frankly. They continued to make out passionately for a few more moments until Kurt interjected again. “You were the one who was asking for sex,” Kurt noted as they continued kissing more to keep their momentum. A few more moments passed by until Jessica stopped the kissing shortly to speak. “Fuck me here,” she said in that sexy voice that always tempted Kurt. Kurt looked around and saw no one was around the swamp. Her request was actually fairly reasonable. “Are you sure? I can just teleport us back…” “No, fuck me now,” she insisted. “Ok,” Kurt answered quickly as the two separated quickly to shake off their clothes. Kurt quickly pulled off his khakis and underwear and then his shirt. He then took off his socks and shoes as well.


“I only fuck when I’m completely naked,” Kurt explained. “Fair enough,” Jessica only took off her panties, keeping her little black dress on. Additionally, she unfastened the back of her bra to let her breasts feel freer against the top of her dress. They quickly went back to kissing, as Kurt was now on top of Jessica on the shore of that small pond in Georgia. The mud provided a soft bed for the two, as the two rolled around like little pigs. They still continued to kiss, rolling around so Kurt’s pale body was now brown from the mud. Jessica laughed from becoming so muddy, and Kurt shoved some more mud on her playfully. After five minutes, Kurt finally entered into Jessica. “Wait, do you have a condom?” Jessica quickly asked. “Yeah, I drew one on,” Kurt replied as he started. Jessica stopped and started laughing. Kurt then in turn stopped. After a few seconds of laughing, they finally started again. Kurt focused more on Jessica’s reaction to his thrusts than the actual thrusts themselves. Each one was soft and slow, as Kurt always did it. Jessica moaned softly and Kurt continued. She did not have quite the pleasurable look he wanted, so he continued searching for the right spot. He moved to the left, and then to the right, and then straight forward. Suddenly a look of shock came across Jessica’s face as she gave a quick yelp. “How the hell did you find that so fast?” Jessica asked relating to her g-spot. “Learned from watching Indiana Jones over and over again,” Kurt joked as Jessica laughed. She was enjoying this, as each movement was now one of absolute pleasure. Her arms grabbed Kurt’s muddy back and squeezed it. With a desire to come in contact with every part of Kurt’s body, she moved her arms to rub them all around his back. Kurt continued to focus of Jessica’s pleasure until he saw her finally give a look of indescribable bliss. They finished on that Georgia swamp in the night. After the sex, they continued to kiss and talk for some time. They laughed about how dirty they were, and how good it felt to be naked in the humid climate of the summer. They sat there on the ground next to the water of the swamp until Kurt finally suggested cleaning up. “Let’s go home, we can take a shower,” Kurt suggested. Jessica nodded as Kurt helped her up. Still naked, Kurt grasped Jessica’s body, and teleported home; his abandoned clothes still lying on the shore of that Georgian swamp. Part Three: My Hero As Kurt and Jessica went off on their date, Petey and Anna had a very turbulent night as well. After Kurt and Jessica left, Petey and Anna didn’t stay with Sam very long. Instead they decided to explore the roof of the loft they lived on. Petey noticed the stairs to the roof in the hall and invited Anna to climb up them with her. The roof was barren and empty, but had a wonderful view of the city lights as the sun gently fell in the west. Petey drew a couch for them to sit on to watch the sun slowly set. Anna sat down as Petey sat shortly after. “Wow, never imagined the city to look this beautiful,” Anna said. “Yeah, never really lived in a city before, but I’m starting to like it a bit,” Petey replied. Anna lied on the side arm of the couch and stretched her legs across. She spread them out and invited Petey to sit in between them. Petey accepted this invitation and lied against Anna’s chest.


“What do you think Kurt and Jessica are doing right now?” Anna asked quietly. “I don’t even want to say,” Petey joked as Anna burst out laughing. Petey joined in shortly after. “But honestly, he’s probably doing something cheesy to win her over,” Petey continued. “Like what?” “Well… Let’s use one of his performances from his late teens,” Petey said as he jumped off the couch and down on the floor. He widened his eyes to make them more human-like and acted out an impersonation of Kurt. “You inspire me… To inspire others… To be inspirational,” Petey said with a fake tearful speech. Anna cracked up instantly, amused by Petey’s antics. Petey sat back down as Anna continued giggling. “Oh come on he’s not that cheesy is he?” Anna asked. “Well actually. That was a real speech he made. Theresa Lankecaster, his junior prom date,” Petey explained as Anna burst out laughing again. “But hey, girls love it. I just wish I didn’t have to watch,” Petey said. “Watch what; him giving these melodramatic monologues?” “No, the rewards the girls give him for those melodramatic monologues,” Petey answered as Anna laughed hysterically again. “But seriously, I love Kurt,” Petey defended as Anna calmed down a bit. “I’m so glad he let you out of his mind,” Anna said as she grabbed Petey back into her arms. “I’m glad too, it was getting crowded in his mind,” Petey answered. “So you know him better than anyone else. What do you honestly think he’s doing right now with Jessica?” Anna asked inquisitively. “Honestly? I think he’s probably trying not to screw the relationship up on the third date,” Petey answered. Anna looked a little confused. “Why? Does he usually have trouble starting relationships?” “No, but he thinks he does. He thinks too hard when it comes to simple things like conversations. Everything has to be perfect in his mind. But in the end…” “Nothing’s perfect,” Anna replied softly. Petey looked up at Anna. “I wouldn’t say that. Things can be perfect, but never in the mind of anyone. A relationship can be perfect, and it usually is. But in an overly analytical mind, one little screw-up stays longer than it should, tainting all the positives of the relationship. That’s happened to Kurt way too many times now,” Petey said seriously. A moment of silence hovered over the area for a few seconds. “Since when are cartoon rabbits so prophetical?” Anna asked. Petey laughed to shake off the seriousness. “I don’t know. I guess being stuck in his mind makes me notice things,” Petey said. “Why? Was it like a prison in there?” “No, no not at all. I loved watching Kurt’s life; it’s just that I also had to deal with his other thoughts as well. His anxiety, embarrassment, and other crazy emotions, I had to live with all of that. It was just a little frustrating to see him refuse to just let go of all of it and enjoy life,” Petey said. “Well that’s just how us humans are I guess,” Anna said. “Strange things you all are,” Petey said. “Hey, at least I’m three-dimensional,” Anna joked.


“What’s that supposed to mean?” Petey asked in a humorous fashion. Anna laughed while bowing her head. When the laughing stopped, silence again infected the area. “I have an idea,” Anna said. “What?” “Let’s go somewhere.” “Where?” “Anywhere,” Anna said. Petey looked up confused. “Anywhere? Like how?” “Well we can teleport anywhere in the world right? Let’s just… teleport. See where it takes us,” Anna suggested as she stood up. Petey stayed sitting, still confused. “What do you mean ‘just teleport?” “You know, just teleport and see where we end up. C’mon let’s do it,” Anna said excitingly. Petey was still doubtful though. “I don’t think we’d end up anywhere without thinking where to go. Plus, what if we end up somewhere… bad?” Petey questioned. “Then we just teleport back. C’mon let’s do it. You’re the one who blames Kurt for being overly analytical, so let’s go,” Anna continued. Petey finally stood up to join Anna. “Fine, let’s do it,” Petey said. He held Anna’s hand. “3…” Anna started. Petey looked up at Anna, with wonder. He noticed how beautiful her orange hair was. It draped down her shoulders and along her pale skin. The skin seemed to reflect a certain comfort onto Petey. “2…” Anna counted down. Her face was perfect, shaped so elegantly to create a soft and symmetrical figure. Her skinny body looked fragile but beautiful. “1…” she finished before the two closed their eyes. Anna did the physical teleportation. They two slowly opened their eyes and noticed the serenity of their surroundings. They were in a field that was dressed with tall grass. The night sky shimmered with twinkling stars and the moon that provided light. Petey looked to the side and saw that they were on top of a hill. A tall weeping willow stood to the left of them, as the green grass that protruded from the ground slowly moved with the gentle breeze. The air was warm, but not uncomfortably hot. Anna tried to guess where they were, but could not think of a place that could ever situate this type of natural beauty. “It’s beautiful,” Anna said delightfully. Petey looked up into the sky and noticed the bright starry sky. “Look at those stars,” he said wonderfully. Anna looked and then fell to the ground gently. She lied down on the comfortable grass and gazed at the stars. Petey joined her as the two watched the shining stars that memorized the two. “I love a nice warm summer night,” Anna said. The two lied there on the grass as they watched the stars and continued talking about whatever came on their mind. Hours flew by, and the two went uninterrupted. They talked about their lives, past and current. Anna revealed more of her times in California and Petey revealed more of his times in Kurt’s mind. They talked about being angels and the ups and downs of it. Everything was peaceful until the signal came. Anna jolted up at the sign of the signal. Petey took a slower approach and sat back up. Anna wanted to bring the kill in as fast as possible, while Petey wasn’t very excited about killing at all.


“C’mon, let’s go,” Anna said as the two teleported back to the loft. When they arrived, they noticed that the loft was completely empty. Not even Sam was there. “Where’s Sam?” Anna asked. What the two didn’t know was that this was the second signal of the night. I only gave Sam and Kurt the first signal that Sam in turn reacted to. Anna and Petey only received this signal while Sam was still making the first signal’s kill. “Oh well, let’s check The List,” Anna said as the two rushed to the door at the end of the living room. They projected The List noticed two names on The List. Scott Matterton, Sam’s kill, was highlighted in red and was accompanied with Sam’s name next to it, while Anna and Petey’s kill was at the top. Darius Santon Serial Murderer “I guess Sam’s got the other guy,” Anna said. Petey looked away from The List. Anna noticed Petey’s objectivity to the job, and kneeled down to him. “Listen, I can do this on my own. You don’t have to come, I know you don’t want to,” Anna said. Petey looked up with a sad face. “Thanks. Be careful though,” Petey resigned as he watched Anna stand up, change into her angelic appearance, and teleport away. Anna reappeared in a city alley. She couldn’t recognize it, but orange lights dimly lit the disgusting place. She knew that Darius Santon was somewhere in the alley, so she turned her head around to try to find any sign of life. Her effort was futile; the alley was dead. Surrounded by brick walls, Anna stood still in the orange alley. Her daggers descended from her wrists slowly, and Anna’s face crumbled from a calm blank stare to an aggressive scowl. She took her first step. Her lungs closed up, as she tried to breath in panic. Anna had already failed her mission, as she felt herself elevate slowly into the air. Her feet were no longer on the ground. The orange scenery turned a dark shade of orange. Confused, she tried to figure out this phenomenon. The demon’s voice behind her explained. “Ah… There she is, Anna Birch,” the demon said. Anna was now in the demon’s trap, a levitating ‘bubble’ intended to trap the demon’s prey with fatal poison. Anna’s mind started to leave her body, as she struggled to escape. Her body was motionless, floating in the air, trapped as the demon continued on. “I really thought you angels would be harder to kill. Guess God wanted to make you poor things as expendable as possible,” the demon said. Anna continued to try to bring her mind together to fight back, but even with this strength, she couldn’t even move a muscle. The demon continued to talk. “So, where’s the rest of them. If I’m not mistaken there’s two more of you, Sam and Kurt Watts. Where are they?” the demon asked. Anna couldn’t speak. “Oh I’m sorry, you can’t tell me can you? Oh well, you’ll be dead in about three more minutes now. Lucky you. At least you get to go to the promised land. When someone kills me, which I assume someone will, I’ll go back into purgatory. If anything, I’m doing you a favor. No need to thank me,” the demon said in a sad arrogance. Anna had just about given up, until a recognizable voice interrupted the demon’s kill. “Let her go,” said the voice, quite possibly in the most serious tone that voice had ever spoken. The demon turned around, leaving Anna suspended in air in her trap, surprised at his challenger. He burst out laughing.


“Are you kidding me?” he laughed. Standing there at the end of the alley was Anna’s fuzzy savior, Petey. “This is too much. Too much. I’ve heard of you, you’re Petey right?” the demon said in a disturbingly cheerful tone. Petey stood there, eyes dead focused on the demon. “You’re Kurt’s little pet aren’t you? So what, are you going to save your little girlfriend here rabbit?” the demon laughed hideously. Anna’s eyes started to slowly close, no longer having the energy to stay open. “What are you going to do? You’re a fucking rabbit,” the demon challenged. Petey responded by pulling out his new weapon. Now as you know, each angel is given a weapon to choose. Kurt chose the guns, Sam chose the swords, and Anna chose the daggers. Petey decided to make his own weapon, something he called the ‘schwip.’ Using the power of humor, Petey unleashed his enormous weapon. Lines appeared as they traced over the outline of the weapon to quickly build it. The schwip is essentially the combination of a sword and a whip. When the lines finished building the weapon, it was over twice the size of Petey himself. With Petey holding the handle, the blade wrapped around from behind him, ascending into the sky. The extremely curved blade swiveled back a forth slightly, showing its interchangeable abilities. Though it looked like a heavy utility, it was a featherweight in Petey’s hand. “Wow… Impressive. You make that yourself?” the demon asked in that same sarcastic cheerfulness. Petey moved to a different pose, crouching slightly, holding his weapon behind him, as it adjusted slightly to curve to a more constant position. Petey squinted his eyes slightly in anger. The demon started to become irritated. “Do you even know how to use that thing? You can’t kill anyone. I’d like to see you try...” the demon said before it was rudely interrupted by Petey. Petey quickly teleported as he swung his blade. He reappeared in front of the demon, and slashed his blade through the demon’s neck, beheading him instantly. The schwip wrapped back around after slicing through the skin of the demon and disappeared to Petey’s will. The demon’s body fell to the ground and joined its head on the pavement. Anna’s bubble faded away, and Anna started to fall. Petey quickly caught her before she hit the ground. Anna was in a devastating daze. It hurt Petey to see Anna in this condition, as he held her in his arms. Anna’s closed eyes slowly opened as Petey looked straight into them. Anna smiled, letting out one final whisper. “My hero…” she said softly as her eyes closed again. Petey panicked, fearing that Anna was dead. He placed her on the ground, and stuck his fingers against her neck to check a pulse. He felt the tiny bump and proceeded in checking whether or not she was breathing. He held his long ears to her mouth, and felt her warm breath. Petey, in some sort of relief, sat back on his knees and looked around the alley for a few seconds, seeing if anyone had seen the kill. No one was around, so Petey took Anna’s hand and teleported back home. “What the hell did you do to her?” Petey was greeted by Sam, who instantly rushed over from the living room when Petey appeared with a fainted Anna. Sam’s shirt was covered with black blood, as drops also dripped from his face. He pushed Petey and picked up Anna to place her on the couch. “I didn’t do anything! A demon caught her in some trap,” Petey defended quickly. Sam checked Anna’s breathing. “Well at least she’s breathing,” Sam said softly. He grabbed a warm towel from the kitchen as Petey sat on the couch next to Anna.


“Oh that’s bullshit,” Sam yelled from the kitchen. Petey turned his head quickly. “What?” Petey asked. Sam was looking up at the scoreboard above the fridge. “My kill only counted as one kill. That was not one kill. That was five hundred kills,” Sam said as he walked back and put the warm towel on Anna’s forehead. Petey sat next to Anna, afraid to interfere with Sam. “So the scoreboard counted your kill as well,” Sam said as he let Anna lay unconscious on the couch. “Is she going to be ok?” Petey asked worriedly. Anna was still obviously breathing, and her chest moved up slowly and back down with each breath. A dark voice interrupted. “She’ll be fine,” John said as he entered from the shadows. Wearing the same old attire, he walked in with a calm composure. “You both ran in with some tough demons,” John started before Sam interrupted. “Speaking of which, where we you two when the signal went off? I had to fight that demon alone,” Sam said annoyed. “Well in all fairness, Petey and Anna didn’t receive the first signal. I saved the second signal for them, knowing you were already prepared for the first kill,” John explained calmly. “Well I could’ve still used help,” Sam said, looking down at the black blood on his shirt. “Well it’s just a good thing Petey came in to save Anna. Any more exposure to that demon’s poison and she’d be dead. She has you to thank for saving her life Petey,” John said respectively. Petey looked down at the sleeping Anna. “How can we help her recover?” Petey asked, still unfocused on anything but Anna. “She just needs sleep. She’ll be fully recovered by tomorrow. I think we should just bring her to her room,” John said as Sam picked Anna up off the couch and teleported into her room. Petey followed and sat on a chair next to Anna’s bed. He stared at her sleeping eyes, hoping they would open eventually. Sam teleported back into the living room. John still sat on the couch as Sam grabbed a beer out of the fridge. “Want a drink?” Sam offered John. “Scotch please,” John answered. Sam, surprised by the drink choice, grabbed a bottle of scotch out of the pantry along with a glass and delivered it to John. John ignored the glass and grabbed the bottle, drinking straight out of it. “So did you see me tackle that demon today?” Sam asked confidently. John stretched his legs casually. “I did. Pretty impressive actually. Sawyer is one of the more dangerous demons out there,” John said. “His name is Sawyer?” “Yup. You did a fine job of taking care of him actually. Could’ve kept it on the down low a little more though,” John said as he turned on the television. The television turned on to a news channel, which had a breaking news report on Sam’s kill. Helicopters provided many different views of a rooftop, Sam’s battleground during the kill. “So is God mad that we exposed ourselves as angels?” Sam asked. “Mad? No he’s not mad at all. I think he was expecting it. I think one of the main reasons he brought back the system was to show his power to the world again. I’m not always sure what goes on in the mind of God,” John said as he took another drink from his scotch bottle. He stood up.


“Well I got to get going. Good job again,” John said. “Wait, one more question… Are there any other angels out in the world like us?” Sam said curiously. John turned around and smirked. “In time, there will be,” John said as he winked and disappeared. Part 4: Copycat Ok now we have to go back and examine Sam’s day. We’ll start right where we left off, as he first received the signal and saw Scott Matterton’s name on The List. When he saw the name, he teleported to the kill. He opened his eyes; he felt cold wind and a scornful voice. “Oh and he’s just too late,” the voice said behind Sam. Sam turned around, and as he did so realized that he was on top of a skyscraper. The city lights glistened with the monotone color of orange. The wind kept stinging against Sam’s face, as he stared at the only other person on the skyscraper, Scott Matterton. “Let me guess, you’re a demon,” Sam said sternly. “Yup. The name’s Copycat,” the demon approached Sam with a cocky confidence and extended his hand. Sam didn’t accept the offer. “Copycat? You demons giving yourselves names now?” Sam said with disgust. “Hey don’t hate now… I just thought that in this little story, you were the superhero and I was the evil super-villain. You of all people should respect that ‘Mr. Comic book man,’” the demon said with an eerily bright tone. “Ah so you know a little bit about me. Is that supposed to scare me?” Sam snapped back. “Oh Sam, everyone knows about you; the angels in heaven, and the demons in purgatory. You ‘AODs’ are fucking celebrities. I heard they watch you guys like a T.V. show up there. But as for us so-called demons, we just watch to learn,” the demon explained. “Learn what? How to kill us?’ “Kill you? Oh I really don’t think I’ll be able to do that honestly. I just come out to enjoy the fresh air sometimes. That’s really what most demons come out to do, just to enjoy the freedom the air brings. I just try to savor it until one of you guys comes and ruins it for me. But hey, it’s ok. It’s just your job. Hell, I wouldn’t want it. I’d prefer being a lowly demon than God’s bitch. I don’t envy you poor assholes,” the demon said. Sam had had enough, and quickly teleported and sliced his two swords through the demon’s chest, bisecting him and letting him fall to the floor in a heap of black blood. Sam adjusted to a more casual position, letting his weapons retreat. As he started to walk away, the same voice interrupted his leave. “I gave myself the name ‘Copycat’ for a reason you know,” the demon said. A new incarnation of the same person stood to the left of Sam. Sam turned, and gave of look of annoyance in place of fear. “Oh this is going to be a bitch isn’t it?” Sam said, letting out a disgruntled sigh. “Oh come on now Sam, it won’t be that bad. You know the deal… I make a bunch of copies of myself and you just have to kill the original one to kill them all. I’m not it by the way, but maybe one of them is,” the demon said as hundreds of reincarnations of the same demon came walking in an orderly casualness from the other side of the rooftop. Each of them looking exactly identical, they walked confidently towards Sam.


“Do I really have to do this?” Sam asked annoyed to the copy that stood in front of him. “Oh come on Sam, it’ll be fun,” the demon insisted. With this being said; Sam brought back his weapons, cracked his neck, and launched into battle. Sam killed the copy that stood in front of him first, just because he could. He teleported into the crowd of copies, and swung both his blades in a circle, slicing any copy that came close to it. Sam then quickly teleported into the air and struck down at the copies below. Copies fell to the ground, spewing out black blood into the air as they collapsed. Each copy tried their hand at Sam. Without any weapons, though, they were usually useless. Sam cut through most of the copies like butter. As copies would grab Sam, he would quickly turn around and chop them into pieces. With each kill, came more copies to kill. Sam soon found this fight to be more fun than dangerous. He tried out different stabs, piercing through different parts of the copies’ bodies. With the stab came a slice outwards following it. Sam, feeling slightly tired, teleported back out of the crowd. They eventually all realized this and ran towards Sam. Suddenly one of the copies hiding on the other side of the rooftop attacked Sam, pushing him off the rooftop along with him. Other copies jumped off in pursuit from the top. With several copies flying down along with Sam, Sam looked behind him at the ground below, which was coming fast. The pavement was a shiny black, as Sam turned back to see the numerous copies falling towards him. Sam smirked, and teleported back to the rooftop, as the copies splattered all over the ground. “Damn… I love having copies but sometimes they can be so fucking stupid,” the demon said when Sam teleported back onto the rooftop. There was only one copy left, the original. Sam quickly teleported to the demon and struck his sword through his stomach. The demon fell to the ground on a knee, as blood poured out. The demon, however, was still alive. “Just one question…” the demon stuttered. Sam gave an unflinching look to the demon. “How come you were able to kill me so easily… But not Vladamir?” the demon asked, relating back to Kurt’s second kill in the church. Sam squinted a bit in anger, and responded. “I had a cramp,” Sam said before he swiped his blade across the demon’s neck, severing his head as it flew off into the air. Sam looked around to see helicopters filming his kill. Seeing this, Sam quickly teleported home. The loft was as empty as it was when Sam left. Sam walked slowly to the couch, cracked his shoulder, and fell onto the comforting cushions. However, before Sam could grab the television remote, he heard the sound of teleportation. Petey had come in with Anna. Sam quickly jolted up. “What the hell did you do her?” …And you know the rest after that. Kurt and Jessica came home around quarter to midnight, and spent the first thirty minutes in the shower cleaning up. Kurt wanted to see what Sam and Anna were up to, and convinced Jessica to leave their room. When they departed from their room, they saw Sam sitting on the couch watching some old movie about cowboys. “So how was your night?” Sam asked, still focused on the television.


“It was good,” Kurt said softly, looking at the television screen to see what Sam was watching. “Are Anna and Petey sleeping?” Kurt asked. “Anna is, the rabbit ain’t,” Sam responded. “Where is Petey?” “Probably still in Anna’s room. She got knocked out during a different kill and the rabbit’s been in her room every since. John told us she was going to be fine, but the rabbit ain’t convinced,” Sam said calmly on the couch. Kurt turned around and approached Anna’s room. “I’m going to go check on them,” Kurt said as he walked around, leaving Jessica with Sam. He slowly opened Anna’s room, and saw Petey sitting on the chair next to Anna’s bed, staring at her with half open eyes while Anna slept peacefully. Petey heard Kurt’s footsteps as he walked in and turned around. “Hey,” Kurt said softly. Kurt walked to Petey and drew a stool to sit on. “So what happened?” Kurt asked. Petey took a few seconds to answer. “While Sam was off on another… kill, Anna received a different one. She told me I didn’t have to come, so I didn’t a first. But when she left, I got this really bad feeling that… something bad was going to happen. So I followed her and saw her trapped by a demon, so I killed it,” Petey said in a soft sadness. Kurt looked at Anna, and back at Petey. “Well, you saved her. That was very brave,” Kurt said proudly, Petey wasn’t in the mood to be cheered up though. “I just want her to be ok,” Petey said quietly. “She will be… But I think she’d want her privacy for now. So I think we should leave her to sleep in peace ok?” Kurt said as he started to stand up. “Ok, I’ll be out in a second then,” Petey said. Kurt nodded and left the room. Petey looked down at Anna, and whispered to her. “I promise you…” Petey started. He paused for a few seconds, officially making his decision. “…the demons will never hurt you,” he finished as he stood up and walked away. While Kurt and Petey were in Anna’s room, Jessica and Sam had a rather interesting conversation which ultimately lead to Sam’s first sentence. Jessica sat down on the couch when Kurt left and started the conversation. “So, you did some demon-killing today?” Jessica asked in a certain sense of wonder. “Yup… So how was your night?” Sam said, changing the topic as quickly as he could. “It was very nice,” Jessica said modestly, until Sam ruined that modesty with his next comment. “So… Did you give him any tonight?” Sam asked with a smirk. Jessica widened her eyes and laughed slightly. “More like he gave me a bunch,” Jessica laughed, Sam joined along in a bit. “So honestly, what do you see in my brother. Let’s be honest, you’re pretty beautiful, and my brother is… my brother. What makes you attracted to him?” Sam asked with a certain serious tone. Jessica smiled, and gave a confident answer.


“He makes me laugh,” she said. Kurt had come back in the living room and joined Jessica on the couch. The night continued for only a half an hour until everyone went to bed and ended the turbulent night. Before I end the episode, I want to show you the first passage to Sam’s first novel as an angel, Death of an Angel. He makes me laugh… I would make him cry The way I rejected all of his tries Was the final reason he died Episode 6: Four Days Prologue to the Episode As days went by, the angels’ lives became much more familiar. Jessica stayed with the angels in their apartment, sleeping with Kurt each night. The angels reached an enormous level of fame, as the television never stopped reporting on various angel sightings. However, that same image was completely altered every time Petey and Kurt performed at The Act. There they were known only for their act, not for being angels. Jessica shared this fame as well, known as the ‘girlfriend of an angel.’ She continued performing her acts after Kurt and Petey, and life seemed surprisingly normal for the circumstances I had given them. Of course, the angels would receive a kill at least every other day. Most of the time they were quick enough to save the soul from the demons, even with the bulk kills that required them to kill more than one person. The scoreboard above the kitchen was constantly changing, but soon Sam gained the lead. Sam’s original hesitation towards death was completely gone, and was usually the most excited when that signal went off. Kurt and Anna would often just let Sam take care of the kill himself, seeing as he was the only one that wanted to kill. Oh, and Petey would also join the angels with the kills each time, keeping his promise to Anna. The other angels seemed confused by the rabbit’s efforts, puzzled by a cartoon rabbit wielding his unusual deadly weapon. However, Petey surpassed Kurt in the number of kills, reaching to thirty-one to Kurt’s twenty-nine. Anna was in second place, with forty kills. Sam was in first place with fifty-five kills. The angels had taken out 155 gangsters, terrorists, and other wrong-doers within a month. Out of those 155, forty of them were taken over by a demon. I was surprised by the success of the AOD system, especially after all the crap John gave me when I set it up. One month after the last episode May 18th, 2008; a Sunday the angels would always remember. Kurt woke up first, leaning over to a sleeping Jessica, waking her up with a gentle kiss on the neck. She moaned slightly in pleasure. The two slept naked as Kurt wrapped his body behind Jessica as they both slept on their sides. “Morning babe,” Kurt said softly into Jessica’s ear. Her long hair brushed along Kurt’s chin as she turned her head to Kurt’s and smiled. She moved to switch the direction she was sleeping to face Kurt. She closed her eyes again, falling back to sleep. 86

Kurt, still awake, rose from their bed and began his day. When he left the bed, various animations came to life in the room. Kurt had mastered the power of humor, and used it to his control everyday. Graphs and news reports hovered before Kurt as he walked over to the closet to dress. The graphs included The List updates, information about the current activities of the other angels, and world news. They followed him silently as Kurt put on his clothes. When Kurt quickly glanced at the floating images, he had them close to provide a clear view of Jessica. He walked over to her and leaned down to her, kissing her on the neck one more time, telling her he was making breakfast. When he walked into the kitchen, he noticed a number of beer bottles left from the night before, where the angels sat around the television watching a violent kill they made on a news channel, laughing at their methods of killing and the ways the anchors reported it. He created an animation to clean the mess up, which was a simple cartoon mouse that worked with sprite quickness. Kurt started breakfast for the sleeping angels. Sam was the second one to wake up, as he slowly walked out of his room and into the kitchen. Over the month, Sam became increasingly happier with his life, and Kurt noticed this with delight. Sam’s usual morning grumpiness was significantly less impacting as he walked to the kitchen counter stools. He sat down and greeted Kurt. “Morning,” he said and Kurt continued making breakfast. “Morning, making pancakes,” Kurt said. Sam looked up at the clock, which read 9:10 AM. “Isn’t Jessica supposed to be at church right now?” Sam asked curiously. “Nah she quit. She said she couldn’t stand some of the lectures that the priest was giving,” Kurt explained. “Let me guess. The priest hates us?” Sam said. “He said, quote, ‘these so called ‘angels’ are nothing but devils of hate. Our loving God would never approve of those who run out and kill his creation,’” Kurt said. Sam impulsively laughed. “I swear to God, we’re the most polarizing figures on this planet,” Sam said. “Either they hate us or the love us,” Sam said. The truth was most of the planet loved the angels, seeing that they only killed the scum of the planet. “I was watching this special on CNN, it said that the Catholic Church was still questioning whether or not we were indeed angels. The anchor then questioned how one could doubt that we were angels, seeing as we’ve killed over a hundred people that were all judged as righteously killed,” Kurt said, laughing softly with Sam. “I don’t know whether or not the church will accept us, but if they do…” Kurt started. Sam looked up at Kurt. “…I want to ask the pope if I can wear his goofy hat,” Kurt joked as Sam laughed. “I want to drive around in the pope-mobile. Go off-roading with him in the back,” Sam continued as Kurt laughed. “I swear, if we weren’t angels, we’d so be going to hell,” Kurt said as the two kept joking around. Anna woke up and left her room during all this, and met the brothers in the kitchen. She wore a small top with short jeans that extenuated her hips. Sam looked down interestedly at them. “What are we laughing at here?” Anna said as she came in. “Religion,” Kurt answered as the two kept laughing. Anna smiled, but not as enthusiastically as the boys. Anna sat on one of the stools with Sam, as Kurt finished up


breakfast, preparing plates with various animations that helped him around the kitchen. Sam looked around at the animations that zipped across the kitchen. “So explain to me again how you dispose these little cartoons so easily and yet you instantly shun me for suggesting you do the same to Petey,” Sam said as Kurt looked up in a restrained disgust. Kurt became used to Sam’s comments about Petey, and no longer became so angry after each one of them. “I don’t give these animations any more knowledge than the task I want them to do. I gave all my knowledge to Petey so he could live like any other person out in the world,” Kurt explained again to Sam. “Except Petey isn’t every other person. He’s a rabbit, a cartoon rabbit created by you. He’s not real,” Sam argued before Anna stepped in. “Now now, let’s stop,” she said. Sam listened and held back down. Kurt finished breakfast, and as he did Petey and Jessica left their rooms to join the angels for breakfast. Jessica walked up to Kurt and kissed him good morning while Petey walked around to sit next to Anna. Sam’s comments about Petey offended Anna more than Kurt nowadays, for Petey was Anna’s best friend. Each night they would teleport to that same place under the stars and lay in the grass, talking about everything and nothing. Anna never spoke out though, letting Sam be Sam. The angels sat around the table eating breakfast. They discussed stories about various kills, fame, and life. Everyone drank orange juice with their breakfast except Sam, who had a beer. Kurt, Jessica, Anna, and Petey sat on the bench along the window, as Sam sat on the other side of the table. Jessica, still tired, would often lay her head on Kurt’s shoulder. However, this calm scene was quickly interrupted. The signal… Part 1: Sam’s Day The angels quickly lifted off their seats to the sound of the signal. Kurt quickly kissed Jessica on the cheek as he walked to room on the other side. They entered in and projected The List across the wall. Four names sat next to each other on The List. The angels didn’t bother to check the reasons. “Looks like a bulk kill,” Sam said. “No, they’re all located in different places,” Kurt noticed quickly. “Shit, looks like we’re splitting up,” Sam said. He looked at the other three. “Alright, everyone’s going to take one person,” Sam said as he looked at the four people’s names on The List Walter Palker Victoria Sheldon Harold Swead Nicolas Brendal The angels looked at all the names, trying to decide which one to pick. Kurt was the first to decide. “I’ll take Nicolas,” he said. Sam chose second. “I got Harold then,” Sam said. Anna chose third.


“I’ll take Walter,” she said, leaving Petey with the only female on The List. “I guess I’ll take Victoria then,” Petey said. He had not killed a woman yet, and the idea worried him. The three other angels transformed into their angelic appearance, as Petey stayed the same. Sam left, giving a two finger salute to the rest of the angels as he teleported away. We’re going to focus on Sam’s kill first. His teleportation led him into a street full of busy people in a northern part of the city. People instantly recognized the famous angel, and starting gawking and pointing at Sam. Sam gave a look of annoyance, as he stared off to try to find the kill. People blocked his view, as cars all around beeped and slowly moved around. Most of the cars had stopped at the sight of Sam, and people started becoming more and more worried, knowing that Sam’s presence might have meant danger. However, not many people left. Throughout the month, not one spectator had been killed during a kill. Sam kept looking for a scarlet sign. He could not find one, as he stood speechless in the middle of the street. No one dared walk up to him as he concentrated on finding his target. Suddenly Sam felt a drop of water on his forehead, and then another. Soon it was raining above Sam, as he looked up and saw a small rain cloud hovering over his head. The rain fell quicker and quicker each second as Sam looked back down in a bitter squint. “So Sam, are you one of those people who’s happier when it rains?” a dark voice arrived behind Sam. Sam turned his head around, and saw a scarlet colored man. He turned his full body around, as his rain cloud above his head also followed. The crowd gazed upon the two. “Hello demon,” Sam said with a scowling tone. The demon was dressed in a black trench coat and a gray hat to cover his face. However, his mouth was still revealed, as it smiled smugly back at Sam. “So how do I look in red?” the demon asked. This was a new demon for Sam, who bent his knees to prepare to end the fight as quickly as possible. Sam quickly unleashed his weapons, but was suddenly attacked by a lightning bolt from the cloud above his head. Sam yelled in an angry pain, dropping his weapons to the floor. “Oh, looks like those won’t be very useful for you this time,” the demon said. The crowd screamed at the sight of the lightning bolt striking Sam. Sam, however, wasn’t fazed by it so much, as he shook it off and tried his next offense. Sam set forth his hands and unleashed a large fire stream out at the demon. The demon didn’t move a muscle, instead let weather protect him, as a giant gust of wind reflect the fire back at Sam, who quickly teleported to stop it. The demon’s smile increased, as the sky grew darker. Soon the whole section of the city poured with rain. The crowd, however, did not move. They all gazed at the fight, not running or trying to help at all. The demon took flight with the help of control from the wind. He set forth his hands, which sparked with sharp shocks of electricity. The wind around the area increased velocity. Sam snapped back at the civilians, who still stayed watching the fight. He gave an annoyed grunt and focused back onto the demon, who was flying through the air. The demon unleashed a beam of electricity at Sam. Sam dodged it with a sketchy teleportation to the left. The beam left a large hole in the street. Sam was down on his knee, hand to the ground. His swords were over on the other side of the street, but he knew that if he grabbed them they would only serve as a rod for the demon’s lightning bolt. Instead he looked for something else he could kill the demon with. Sam noticed a construction site behind the demon. The workers had halted their work due to the fight, and most of them were focused intently onto Sam. Sam’s ears then


noticed that the crowd around him was cheering for him to defeat the demon. It was almost like a cheesy wrestling match for Sam, as he looked scornfully at the spectators, who were rallying and yelling for Sam to beat the bad-guy. Sam eventually found the weapon he was looking for as he continued dodging various attacks from the demon. A quick teleportation led to the construction sight behind the demon. The demon could not find Sam for a few seconds, which ended up a few seconds two late. Sam had found a thick plastic PVC pipe with a sharp end to it. “Im’ma borrow this if you don’t mind,” Sam told a nearby construction worker. The demon turned around to see the construction site, but only caught a glimpse of Sam teleporting back behind the demon, impaling the demon with the plastic pipe. The demon looked down at his chest, which protruded the black bloody pipe from it. The demon fell from the sky and onto the ground. Before dying, the demon raised his head, looking at Sam. “Keep the sun shining, mate,” the demon said before closing his eyes and dying. Sam didn’t respond, instead looking out into the crowd. They all applauded at the death of the demon. Sam gave a forced smile for the cameras around him. He made a few teleportations. The first was to pick up his swords and retreat them back into his body. The second was to unhook the PVC pipe out of the demon’s chest. The third was to give it back to the construction worker. “Thanks again,” Sam said to the construction worker as he teleported home. Jessica was watching television on the couch. “First one done, beat that,” Sam said proudly. Jessica looked up at Sam and smiled, but looked back at the television worriedly. Sam turned to see the screen. Replays of his kill were playing on the television. “I watched the whole thing, not bad. Where are the others though?” Jessica asked. “There were four different kills, I’m sure they’ll be done with the others soon,” Sam said as he went into the kitchen to grab a drink. He looked back out at Jessica, who still looked worried for Kurt and the others. Sam thought about going back to The List and helping one of them out, but thought: “It’s just one kill, how can they fuck it up anyway?” Part 2: Anna’s Day After Sam teleported off to his kill, the other three still stayed back at the loft for a few more moments. Even with their tasks at hand, the three stood there, taking time before going off and making their next kill. “He sure seemed excited,” Kurt said. Anna nodded. She then transformed into her angelic appearance and teleported away to her kill. She ended up in a vacant loft in a scummier part of the city. The morning light provided slits of yellow in an otherwise dark room. Anna instantly let out her daggers and focused on finding her kill as soon as possible. She had hoped that she was not too late to save the soul yet. A dark voice crushed those hopes. “They gave me the girl?” the voice said from a dark corner of the room. From that corner approached a scarlet middle-aged man. “I can’t believe I got the girl. Seriously, I was hoping for some sort of fun. I was hoping I would get the rabbit, he’s my favorite,” the demon said with a smirk in his deep voice. Anna crouched slightly.


“I think he’s most of the demon’s favorites. I mean, Sam’s obviously the best killer, Kurt’s the funniest, and you’re… well you’re the girl. Petey though, he’s so heroic. You shoulda seen him…” the demon said. Anna was focused but interested. “Seen him what?” she asked in a scowl. “One month ago, when you were battling ol’ Harry, and you were trapped in his little bubble-trap, Petey came and saved you,” the demon told Anna. “Yeah, I remember that, so what?” Anna said. “Well when you were out on your bed, he sat by your side the whole time, making sure you would eventually wake up,” the demon continued. Anna looked down to the ground, blushing slightly. “And then he said something that made most of us demons laugh. He promised that he would never let the demons hurt you.” “What?” “Oh come on, why do you think a fucking cartoon rabbit is out there killing us? Because he likes it? He’s doing it because he knows that you’re too weak, and you’d probably be dead if he wasn’t out there with ya’ll during all these kills. He’s stooped down to this lowly job all because he wants to keep you safe, very heroic in my opinion. Poor schmuck,” the demon said. Anna filled with anger at this explanation, and unfortunately believed it. The demon snapped his neck and made his final threat. “But the rabbit ain’t here now, now let me be the first to kill an angel,” the demon said before Anna quickly disappeared. Using the power of stealth, Anna had become invisible. She grabbed the demon’s throat and quickly slit it, letting the black blood pour out onto the ground as the demon quickly died and fell to the ground. Anna reappeared and looked down at the demon’s carcass. She spit on it and teleported back home. Sam and Jessica were the only ones back home. Anna was still angry over her kill, and it showed by her physical actions, a she hurried to the couch and quickly fell onto it. Sam sat next to Anna. “Hey how did it go?” he asked. “Fine,” Anna said in a soft tone. Sam, however, was not convinced. “What’s wrong?” Sam asked. “I don’t know. I guess the demon just pissed me off,” Anna replied. “Why what did he say?” “He called me weak,” Anna said. “What did you do after he said that?” “I killed him,” Anna said, which made he smile as Sam laughed softly. Anna leaned in Sam’s arms in comfort. Leaning in Sam’s arms relaxed Anna, as it made her feel safe and loved. Sam, on the other hand, found the presence of a woman to be pleasant, knowing that he had not touched one for so long. Jessica, on the other hand, was still worried for Kurt, who was still out there making his kill. Part 3: Kurt’s Day After Anna had teleported off to her kill, Kurt and Petey stayed staring at The List for a few more moments. Kurt looked down at Petey, who seemed a little more nervous than usual. “She’ll be ok,” Kurt said, referring to Anna. “I know,” Petey replied quietly, looking back up at Kurt. “You wish you could help her out there don’t you?” Kurt implied.


“What?” “You want to make sure she doesn’t get hurt. Don’t worry, she’s a strong girl,” Kurt said as he winked and teleported away. He reappeared in a middle class suburban house. He looked around at the surroundings, seeing family portraits and various knick-knacks on the shelves against the pasty-white walls. Kurt quietly unleashed his Uzis. The house was a surprisingly light setting, but Kurt did not let down his guard. He crouched down as he reached a corner of the ranch style house. Kurt could hear the bushes outside tap against nearby windows as he silently walked around the corner. He saw a double set of doors leading to the master bedroom of the house. Kurt walked to it, seeing another family portrait on his way there. The portrait showed a family of three: a gray haired confident father, a mother who looked like she had a few too many plastic surgeries, and a teenager in the middle, having an emotionless face to contrast the smiles on his parents. Kurt didn’t want to become too personal with the family, and quickly focused back on the door. He grabbed the doorknob, and slowly opened the door. The other side of the door was red with blood. The first thing Kurt saw in the master bedroom was the pool of blood on the carpet below him. His eyes widened as he quickly twitched his head back up, aiming one of his guns into blank air. On the floor ahead of him were the two parents in that family portrait, lifeless with various bloodstains on their Sunday church clothes. Kurt lowered his head and coughed in disgust, which startled the murderer of the parents. The murderer turned around and saw Kurt in his angelic appearance, and instantly recognized him for seeing him on television so much. Sitting on the ground at the side of the room was the parents’ son, their murderer. “No… Don’t… Please,” the son said in horror. Kurt turned to the son, seeing that he was marked. It was just a teenage boy, Kurt thought. Kurt assumed that the boy wasn’t consumed by a demon yet, and that he wasn’t too late to be saved. Trying not to waste this opportunity, Kurt aimed one of his weapons at the boy’s head. The boy shed tears, crying aloud as Kurt tried to not hesitate. “Please! It was an accident!” the boy begged, scared of the gun’s holy bullets. Kurt almost pulled the trigger there, but that nasty hesitation stopped him. Kurt cursed himself in his mind. After a month, Kurt hadn’t been desensitized himself yet. Seeing the pathetic boy sitting there crying and pleading for his life gave Kurt chills in his heart. Kurt lowered his head but still kept his aim still. “I’m sorry kid, I have to. It’s for your own good,” Kurt said softly. The boy kept begging for his life to be spared. Kurt looked around at the carnage in the room. Blood was spilt everywhere from the boys’ parents. Kurt tried to use this as incentive to just pull that trigger, go home, fuck Jessica and get on with his life. Of course, it wasn’t that easy. Something inside froze Kurt’s finger and kept him from pulling that trigger. Soon the scene was silent, except for occasional whimpers from the boy. Kurt hadn’t moved his arm, and the gun was still aimed at the boy’s head. The boy hadn’t moved either, too scared to try anything against Kurt. Kurt shook his head gently, telling himself that he needed to pull that trigger now. No… Now. Now… Now…


Each time he kept telling himself to pull that trigger, he would keep hesitating. The boy was still marked scarlet, and that wasn’t going to change. The boy needed to die. Only I knew why. After one final ‘now,’ Kurt closed his eyes. The boy looked up in fear. Kurt’s arm had finally moved, as it lowered the gun. Kurt couldn’t do it. He couldn’t pull the trigger. Kurt just stood there hoping that the boy would just become unmarked within the minute and Kurt would not have to kill him. The boy looked confused, but hopeful that Kurt had shown the boy mercy. Finally, one factor motivated Kurt to pull the trigger. As Kurt stood there with his gun by his side, he heard a slight screeching noise. Kurt quickly looked further forward. Coming rapidly from the other side of the room was a gray shadow. Almost like a ghost, it flew in towards the boy. Kurt had never seen anything like this, but knew exactly what it was. A demon had finally come to take the boy’s soul. Kurt refused to let this happen. Letting all emotional factors go, Kurt quickly aimed his gun back at the boy’s head. The boy jerked his head and cried. “No! Please!” he begged one more time. Kurt shook his head and pulled the trigger. The boy died instantly, saved from the demon that was about to devour his soul. The ghost faded away at the sight of the dead body. Kurt retreated his weapons and rested his face on his palm. The kill was harder than most, and Kurt felt weak. He turned and looked at the red room. Death haunted the room, and Kurt wanted to get out at as soon as possible. When Kurt teleported home, he kept the same sad face he had when he looked in that haunted house. Jessica rose up in relief and rushed to Kurt. Kurt nearly fell onto Jessica as she hugged him. They turned the hug into a kiss as Sam and Anna watched from the couch. When their lips finally unlocked, Kurt spoke first. “That one was brutal,” Kurt said. Jessica looked into his eyes. “What happened?” she asked. Kurt took her hand. “Let’s talk about it in our room,” he said. Jessica nodded as they went into their room. Kurt fell onto the bed, soon joined by Jessica. She positioned herself on top of Kurt, as he fondled her. She laid her head on his shoulder, and Kurt started telling Jessica of his kill. “It saddened me… I walked into what seemed like a perfect home…” he started. Jessica turned her head to look at Kurt, who was staring at the ceiling. “But when I entered the bedroom… I saw a teenager who killed his parents, who were dead on the floor. He wasn’t taken over by a demon yet, but he was scared of me. He didn’t want to die… And I realized… That’s the first time I had to kill someone that begged me not to. I couldn’t pull the trigger. I just couldn’t… That is until I saw a demon coming in to take him. Out of impulse I finally shot the poor kid in the head,” Kurt told Jessica in a raspy voice. Jessica looked at Kurt with a sad intension. She kissed him on the cheek and Kurt turned his head to kiss Jessica on the lips. They kissed on the bed for a few more seconds. Tears fell from Kurt’s eyes and onto the pillow’s sheet. Jessica let her lips go to let Kurt cry. Besides deep inhales, Kurt cried silently. Tears rolled down his cheeks, but the usual whimper that came with most tears was absent. Jessica held Kurt, and Kurt turned and tightly hugged Jessica, crying in her arms, head in her hair. Jessica soon started crying as well, hurting along with Kurt, sharing his pain. Kurt lifted his head. “Thank you,” he said to Jessica. Jessica looked up at Kurt. “For what?” Jessica asked.


“Without you I don’t know what I’d do,” Kurt said, looking at Jessica’s tears that joined his. Jessica turned and kissed Kurt again. The sad mood soon turned to a loving mood. The kiss became more passionate than pathetic as their mouths widened. Jessica moved her hips as she moved on top of Kurt. Kurt looked up during a quick break between kisses to see Jessica’s perfect face. He smiled for the first time since the kill. She smiled back, and they continued making love. Part 4: Petey’s Day Petey was left alone with The List after Kurt teleported away to his kill. His ears lowered, and Petey finally looked up at the name on The List. Victoria Sheldon. He looked at the name for a few more moments. “I hope she’s not pretty,” he said to himself before he teleported away. He ended up in a meadow. He knew that he wasn’t in the city anymore, if even the state. Green grass spread out from the ground across Petey’s entire view. No roads were around to interrupt the land’s growth. Only one other person stood in the meadow, and Petey could already recognize the red mark that cursed the person down the field. He slowly walked forward, but his footsteps still created a sound as they brushed against the grass. The sun shone from the east, behind Petey as he continued walking to the marked woman. All he could see of the woman was her back, which was accompanied with long black hair that traveled down it. Butterflies fluttered around the meadow, as they occasionally touched Petey’s descended ears. Soon he was nearly directly behind his motionless kill. He silently pulled out his schwip. The weapon extended behind him and into the air, disrupting the blue sky above him. Petey’s plan was to kill the girl before she could turn around. Just kill her instantly with one swipe and walk away. Petey crouched down and prepared to make that one swipe. He pulled his arm behind him, as the weapon swiveled around to his right side. But as Kurt did, Petey hesitated. The woman still stayed motionless. Her arms weren’t visible to Petey, as she positioned them in front of her chest. A petal flew out from her hands. Petey saw the yellow speck gently float in the air, losing his concentration. “They don’t know how lucky they are,” the girl said. Petey looked up and walked forward towards the girl. “The world they live in is so beautiful. I know I took it for granted, but sometimes I just really want it back,” the girl continued on, lowering her head down and letting go of the flower that was in her hands. She started to turn around. “So what angel did they give me?” she said quietly. She turned around and looked at Petey, whose weapon was laid down on the ground as Petey stood straight up. Her face was thin, sad, and beautiful. Her green eyes stared sadly into Petey’s eyes. She smiled slightly. “Petey…” she said. Petey stood aimlessly in the field as the wind picked up from the north. “You know… The demons have begun to have an influence over humans now. We had this day planned ever since they released us from Hell. You just need to whisper into the flawed soul’s ear, and they become weak. It’s not always that easy though. Most of them resist. We usually pull back if that happens… But the truly weak accept and let us consume them. We no longer take their bodies though. We change them to our own. I hope you like mine,” the demon said as Petey still stayed in the same aloof position.


“It saddens me though… I pity them. Those souls gave up… I guess I find it sad just because I can relate,” the soul continued. Petey raised his ears slightly. “How so?” the rabbit asked. The demon looked surprised. “You really want to know?” the demon asked. Petey gently nodded, and the demon continued. “Well I was very much like your friend Anna. I killed myself; except I did it more than once. According to God, I had killed myself with every life I was given. So he gave up on me. I don’t blame him to be honest… But why would you care? Weren’t you sent to kill me anyways?” the demon asked. Petey’s eyes lowered back down as his head did the same. The wind broke the short amount of silence between the angel and the demon. “You know I think it’s cute… The way you look out for Anna. I wish I had someone like that,” the demon continued. Petey looked up, raising his ears as well. “But the truth is… Anna’s lucky. No one looks out for each other in this world. You’re just a rare exception,” the demon said darkly. “I don’t think that’s true,” Petey objected. “You might be right… Maybe the world’s just shown in a darker sense from a demon’s point of view,” the demon said sadly, looking down and picking another flower from the ground. “I’m Andrea,” the demon introduced herself to Petey. Petey smiled for a bit before realizing that she was still scarlet red in the eyes of Petey, and that she still needed to be killed. Petey’s face then turned sadder. Andrea was able to read Petey instantly. “You just realized that you still need to kill me, didn’t you?” she said softly. Petey lowered and head, as he focused back onto his weapon. He lifted it into the air, ready to swing it through Andrea, who stood still. He focused to make that one swing and end it as quickly as possible. He held his weapon to his side, as it swung back behind him in the air, ready to strike. However, Petey couldn’t move his arm. He couldn’t make that one swing. He couldn’t kill Andrea. Petey lowered his weapon, showing a sign of defeat. He lowered his head as the schwip fell to the ground. Andrea raised her eyebrows, looking at the anguished Petey. “You can’t, can you?” she said. Petey shook his head. Andrea approached Petey. “It’s ok… You’re not a murderer. This isn’t for you,” she said softly as she was now in front of Petey. She kneeled down to his height. “Thank you though. I’ll be watching you,” she said as she kissed Petey on the cheek. The side of his mouth smiled slightly. When he looked up he saw Andrea pulling out a knife from her pocket. He watched her take the knife and push it into her heart. Her black blood poured out peacefully as she fell to the ground. Petey turned away, refusing to see the demon kill itself. The hardest kill he ever had was the one he didn’t have to kill at all. After watching Andrea die, Petey quickly teleported home, hoping to find some support from Anna or Kurt. When he arrived, he saw Anna in Sam’s arms on the couch. Anna didn’t instantly greet Petey like she usually did. Petey walked in slowly with a sad look on his face. The two on the couch, however, didn’t greet him with any kindness that he would have normally given them in the same situation. “Hey,” Petey said. Sam greeted Petey with one finger while Anna replied by standing up from the couch and walking away, ignoring Petey as she passed him. Petey looked back confused. Petey quickly followed Anna. “What’s wrong?” he asked as he followed her. She quickly stormed into her room and slammed her door in Petey’s face. Petey turned to Sam, confused and scared.


“What just happened?” he asked Sam. Sam simply shrugged his shoulders, ignoring Petey as much as possible. Petey knew that Sam wasn’t going to help him at all. Petey looked around for Kurt or Jessica, but assumed that they were in their room and knew that if he did walk in he would probably see an act he didn’t want to see. So Petey retreated back to his room. As he sat on his bed, he pondered over his visit with Andrea. In the back of his mind, he thought about Anna and Sam, and wondered whether Andrea’s view of human-kind was simply correct. Episode 7: Anyone but You Part 1: Brimstone The sun rose the next morning on New York. The day before marked a separation between the four angels, but a new morning brought them back together. Kurt was the first to wake again, as he always was, and started making breakfast. Jessica came out shortly afterwards in her pajamas, greeting Kurt with a kiss on the cheek. Petey came out next and stood in the kitchen with Kurt talking about the previous day. “So she’s mad at you? Why?” Kurt asked Petey, relating to Anna’s outburst at Petey the day before. “I have no idea, she just… stormed off,” Petey said as Kurt kept cooking bacon on the stove. “Well, did you do anything that might have offended her?” Kurt suggested. “I don’t think so… She seemed fine before we went out yesterday. But when I came home, she just stared at me and walked off into her room,” Petey explained. “What did you say to her when you came home?” “I just said ‘hey,’” “Hmm… Maybe ‘hey’ is some sort of secret key-word for Anna that actually means ‘hey bitch make me some dinner’ or something. I dunno,” Kurt joked. Petey laughed, but still seemed distraught by Anna’s anger towards him. Kurt looked down at Petey. “Hey, don’t worry about it. She must have had a tough kill or something. I’m sure she’ll be fine today,” Kurt said as he served the bacon on a plate and started to work on eggs. “Yeah I hope so,” Petey said. After this, Anna’s door slowly opened, and she slowly walked out. Petey tried to act as if yesterday never happened, and smiled and waved at Anna. “Good morning Anna,” he said brightly. Anna rolled her eyes and walked over to the couch to sit with Jessica, who seemed uncomfortable over Anna’s rudeness towards Petey. Petey lowered his head in the kitchen. “Guess she’s not fine,” Petey said sadly. Kurt looked up confused at Anna, who was sitting on the couch watching television with an angry face. “Petey…” Kurt started as he investigated into Anna’s anger. “…What was Anna doing when you came home?” Kurt asked. “Nothing… Just sitting with Sam,” Petey answered. Kurt had an idea now. “God dammit,” Kurt said as he walked over to Sam’s room. He knocked loudly, speaking through the door. “Let me in,” Kurt said. Petey was in the kitchen looking at the situation, while Anna and Jessica paid more attention to the TV. The door opened within seconds, and


Kurt looked straight at Sam, who had just come out of the shower, and dressed in a white towel. Kurt let himself in after Sam opened the door. “What did you say to Anna?” Kurt asked with a slight amount of anger. “What are you talking about?” Sam said as he walked back to the bathroom to brush his teeth. “You know what I’m talking about, she’s fucking pissed at Petey for no reason, and I know you have something to do with it,” Kurt said. “So you assume just because she’s pissed at Petey it has something to do with me?” Sam snapped back. “Exactly, I know you were talking to her before Petey came home. What did you tell her?” Kurt demanded. “We just talked about random things. Petey didn’t even come up in the conversation,” Sam pleaded. “Bullshit.” “What? You don’t believe your own brother? I don’t know why she’s pissed at Petey. She’s probably finally realized that he’s nothing but a cartoon you created and has grown past the illusion you’ve created for yourself,” Sam smirked. “God you’re such a dick. Seriously,” Kurt said as he started to walk out. “But hey, you love me anyway,” Sam said, arms wide opened, as Kurt left. Kurt walked back into the kitchen to work back on the eggs. Petey was still sitting on the counter in the kitchen. “Learn anything?” Petey asked hopefully. “No, Sam didn’t tell her anything. I honestly have no idea why she’s so pissed,” Kurt said as he looked back down at the eggs. “That fucking red blaze that comes across my eyes” Kurt thought as the signal sounded. The angels instantly reacted, as Sam came out of his room and Anna instantly stood up off the couch. Petey looked up at Kurt, who let go of the pan of eggs and started walking over to the door on the other side of the room. “Another kill?” Jessica asked from the couch. “Yeah,” Kurt said as he walked over to Jessica to give her a kiss on the cheek. “We’ll be back as soon as we can,” Kurt assured Jessica. Sam, on the other hand, seemed excited about the kill. He had already suited up into his angelic appearance, as had Anna, who slumped herself towards the room. Kurt sighed and led Petey to the room as well. Kurt waved Jessica good-bye as they all entered the room. John stood next to The List, arms flat down at his sides. Sam was the only one with a cheery attitude. “John! So you’ve finally decided to help us out with these kills?” Sam joked, knowing that John would never help the angels actually kill the condemned. John gave a weak smile, and then proceeded to give the angels the bad news. “Nice try… Unfortunately I only have bad news for you all. The name on that list is already a demon,” John started. The angels seemed annoyed, as Anna spat out first. “Already? It’s only been a minute!” she said. “Yes I know. But this is not an ordinary demon. It doesn’t need a human body to find its way onto Earth,” John said before Sam interrupted. “It doesn’t need a body? How is that possible?”


“It acquired its access through a special element,” John said as pulled something out of his pocket. He pulled out a small yellow stone, Kurt suspected it was sulfur. “This is brimstone, straight from Hell,” John said, holding his hand out. He walked slowly towards Sam. “This is a very powerful object. Sam, take it from my hand,” John demanded. Sam took the piece of brimstone from John’s hand. An instant change occurred, as Sam’s angel red hands changed back to Sam’s pink human hands. Sam’s eyes widened. “As you can see, the brimstone neutralizes your angelic powers,” John explained. “So it’s basically our ‘kryptonite?’” Sam asked. John nodded. “Oh and Kurt, be especially careful you don’t touch that brimstone. If you do, I’m pretty sure Petey will die,” John warned. Petey looked worried after this statement, and Kurt walked slightly further away from the yellow stone. “So the demon used this brimstone to find his way to Earth?” Sam said. “Yes, and he’s apparently got plenty of it. He’ll try to use it against you. Careful.” “How much brimstone is there out there?” Anna asked. “Hell was surrounded by it, but I don’t know how many demons took some before Hell was demolished. I really hope not many,” John said sadly. Sam gave John the brimstone back, and walked over to The List. Only one name was on it. Paul “Well let’s go then,” Sam insisted as he teleported away. Anna looked back at Kurt and Petey, and quickly followed Sam afterwards. Kurt looked down at Petey. “Maybe I should stay behind. If any of that brimstone touches me… you know…” Kurt suggested. “No, we need to go. I have a bad feeling about this one. Don’t worry about me,” Petey said. John nodded silently, as Kurt looked back at him. Kurt sighed, and signaled to Petey that it was time to go. They looked at The List, and teleported off to the kill. When they arrived, they were given the shock of a loud explosion. They were in some sort of warehouse, but the battle had already started. Sam and Anna were already fighting the demon, who took shape of what one would think of a demon. The demon looked literally like a demon, standing at twenty-feet tall and covered in black skin. He had withered wings on his back, and long fangs protruding from his mouth. “What the fuck is that?” Kurt said loudly as he quickly unleashed his guns. Sam looked back from another swing of his blades. “What does it look like? It’s a demon, now help us out,” Sam yelled back as he quickly teleported from a swipe from the demon. Kurt aimed his guns at the demon and began shooting. Each bullet simply soaked into the demon’s pitch-black skin. The demon turned back to look at Kurt. Kurt kept shooting, but none of his bullets seemed to have much impact on the demon, providing more of an annoyance than a threat for the demon. The demon responded by spitting a stream of fire at Kurt. Kurt blocked this by drawing a makeshift shield, in the form of a cartoon brick wall. He looked to see if Petey was still standing next to him. He wasn’t. Petey had already joined the battle from behind. After the demon’s strike at Kurt, Petey swung his weapon, the schwip, at the demon. The weapon extended out and around the demon. The blade pierced into the demon’s skin, as the demon growled out in pain, but didn’t show any sign of stopping. Instead the demon multiplied. Within the one


demon came four other copies of the same demon. The five separate demons branched off and started fighting the demons individually; a five-to-four fight. “Shit,” Sam muttered as one of the demons approached him. The copies seemed to be smaller than the original, and proved to be much easier to kill. Sam held back his blades and ran towards the demon. The demon hissed and jumped into the air as Sam whipped back his blade towards the demon, missing by barely an inch. The demon screamed back at Sam, who looked up to the black devil above him. The copy hung by his tail on a pole above Sam. It then dropped onto Sam’s head. Sam instantly shook himself violently, but the demon wasn’t fazed, as his clawed and bit Sam’s head. Sam responded by using his power of flame, and created a fire force around his body, setting the demon on fire, and watching the demon fall and die on the ground. Kurt, on the other hand, wasn’t able to defeat his copy as easily, as it approached him slowly. The demon crawled on four legs, showing its ugly teeth to Kurt to intimidate him. Kurt kept a firm stance, weapons at his side. The demon then pulled out something that would break Kurt’s stance; a chuck of yellow brimstone. The demon laughed as Kurt flinched at the sight of the stone. Kurt knew if he touched it, Petey would disappear, as he looked out to see Petey fighting a different copy. The demon, with the brimstone in his hand, starting dashing towards Kurt, who then teleported quickly before the demon could reach him. Kurt fired one shot, the one shot to fly across the way and into the demon’s skin. The demon screeched in pain, but quickly turned around and screamed at Kurt. Kurt shot it again, but this time the demon responded by dashing towards Kurt. As it dashed towards Kurt, mouth wide open, Kurt continued to fire at the demon. Each bullet seemed to hurt the demon, but not enough to stop it from continuing its sprint towards Kurt. The demon had nearly reached Kurt, numerous bullet holes scattered around its body. Kurt knew that the bullets weren’t enough to stop the demon, and let down his weapons, letting the demon keep running towards him. The demon jumped into the air, screaming at Kurt as it flew through the air towards Kurt’s face. A cartoon spike appeared in front of Kurt, as the demon fell right into it, impaling through its open mouth and out its lower back, stopping the demon-copy mid-air, skewered on Kurt’s drawn spike. Kurt didn’t see the brimstone from the demon’s hand fly out after the demon’s death. The yellow stone fell from the dead demon’s hands and down onto Kurt’s shoe. Now this would have been fine, if Kurt had not been wearing shorts. The stone sat on Kurt’s shoe, touching Kurt’s bare leg. Kurt looked down at his pink human hand, and down further at the yellow stone on his leg. The brimstone had touched Kurt. “No…” Kurt said in distress. Kurt quickly looked up, afraid to not see Petey. Something strange happened though. Petey was still fighting. As a human Kurt stood at the back of that warehouse, a cartoon rabbit Petey continued to fight the demon he fought. Kurt was confused, but relieved, as he quickly kicked off the brimstone from his feet and changed back to his angelic form. Why hadn’t Petey disappeared like John said he would? Petey continued on, not knowing that Kurt had touched the stone. One final slice slit through a demon’s neck, decapitating the demon. Petey’s weapon curled back around, as the black blood from the demon dripped from its tip. Petey turned to see Anna, doubled-teamed by two demons. One demon struck at her with its sharp claws, as the other rushed behind. Anna couldn’t see the demon behind her, but Petey captured it with his view just in time. Petey held out his arm, and summoned one sharp vertical line,


which flew across the room towards the attacking demon. With the perfect timing, the line sliced through the jumping demon, bisecting him from its side. The two pieces of the demon fell to the ground, cut in half by the line Petey had created. Anna was lucky enough that Petey had done this, the demon was only a few feet away from killing Anna. Anna wasn’t very grateful though, as she turned around to see the two halves of the demon. She looked down, and back up in anger. She quickly snapped back around, grabbing the attacking demon, and slitting its throat violently. The demon let out a torturing screech as it spewed out its black blood and died. With this, the last copy of the demon was dead. Anna turned back and walked briskly towards Petey, who was standing at the other side of the warehouse. “God dammit Petey!” she yelled as she walked. Petey let down his hand in fear, as Anna continued to rush towards him. “You don’t think I could have finished that demon myself?” she continued. Petey replied softly. “I was just trying to help,” he said. “Like hell you were. I know what you think of me,” Anna snapped back as she finally reached Petey. Sam and Kurt had turned their attentions to the one-sided fight. “You think I’m your little damsel-in-distress don’t you? You think ‘poor little Anna’s too weak to defend herself.’ I don’t need a fucking rabbit to defend me.” Anna inched herself over to Petey, continued to yell down at him. Petey’s ears were at their lowest, as he slowly inched back away from Anna, scared as ever. “You’re the worst kind of asshole; the kind that tries to help those who don’t want any help. Who do you think you are?” Anna shouted. After the final question, Anna turned around and started to walk away. Petey, scared and helpless, again replied softly. “I’m just trying to hel…” Petey continued before Anna turned around and interrupted, pointing her finger down at Petey. “Shut up! Shut the fuck up! Get this through your furry little head, no one wants your fucking help! So leave me alone!” she yelled back before angrily teleporting away. Poor Petey was left against the wall of the dirty warehouse, low on the ground, standing in fear. Ears low along with his expectation of any good left out there in the world he was simply trying to help. Part 2: Arguments over Kindness Earlier in the story, a demon mentioned that the angels in heaven often watched the angels of deaths’ story from above. This was true. In fact, the AOD’s names were perhaps the most widely known names in heaven. They were, and still are, like celebrities in heaven. As you see, angels have every view of Earth imaginable. This might worry some of you, knowing that your privacy is really evaded by the views of the angels. To this I say: don’t worry, whatever you do… It’s not as weird as what someone else does, we’re all used to it by now. As the angels in heaven watched the AOD’s fight the demon, and Anna fight with Petey, most of them cried out in anger towards Anna. In fact, many of them suggested that she should no longer be an angel for what she did to Petey. Petey was one of the most popular angels of the group, and to see Anna yell at him was an outrage for them. Now I’m supposed to be a neutral narrator for this story, but yeah… I agree that Anna completely overreacted towards Petey.


I took a poll after this outburst from Anna. For this poll, I asked many angels in heaven who was their favorite angel. Here were the results:

Heaven’s favorite angel was left in the warehouse, shocked by Anna’s harsh words towards him. Petey fell softly to the ground, eyes wide open, ears down on his shoulders. Kurt watched Anna teleport away, and looked back at the saddened, silent Petey. With an angry face, Kurt teleported back home. Sam followed shortly afterwards, eager to see what Kurt was going to do with Anna. Petey continued sitting in a silent shock in the warehouse. “Are you fucking bipolar or something?” Kurt yelled at Anna back in the loft. Anna was on her way to her room, but turned back around at Kurt’s comment. Kurt was back in the living room, and Anna rushed towards him to confront him. “What is that supposed to mean?” she replied. “What the hell was that back there? You fucking destroyed Petey for no reason,” Kurt continued before Anna quickly defended herself. “Oh I had a reason. I don’t want a cartoon rabbit killing people just because he thinks it’s the only way I can be safe.” “So you’re mad at him for trying to help?” “He’s not helping! He’s judging me as helpless. I’m not helpless, I can fend for myself. The rabbit just thinks he’s my only hope. Well fuck that. I don’t need his help,” Anna tried to finish off, but Kurt wasn’t nearly done. “Everyone needs help out there. Just because you’re lucky enough to have someone that is willing to help you doesn’t mean he thinks you’re weak,” Kurt snapped back. Sam and Jessica were on the sidelines of the battle. “Yesterday the demon I fought told me the truth about Petey. He thinks I’m weak…” Anna said before being interrupted by Kurt. “A demon? And you’re going to trust a demon? Jesus Christ Anna I thought you were smarter than that,” Kurt said. Anna was crying now. “Shut up! I don’t need his help!” Anna yelled back. “You don’t now? Well without him you’d be dead! How many times has he saved you now? Eight? Nine? Admit it Anna, you need him.” Kurt challenged. “I don’t need anybody! Leave me alone!” Anna shouted back as she turned to leave to her room. “Everybody needs somebody,” Kurt said. “Maybe so… But my ‘somebody’ shouldn’t be a cartoon rabbit,” Anna argued back. Silence paused the fight for a few seconds, until Kurt sadly replied.


“He doesn’t deserve this,” Kurt said softly as Anna stopped. She turned around towards Kurt. She looked at Kurt in a moment of silence, and then spoke the final words. “Stop defending your illusion, Kurt.” Anna finished and retreated back into her room. With this final sentence, Kurt knew that Anna was too far in to be persuaded otherwise. She no longer accepted Petey as something real, so it seemed. “She’s right you know,” Sam said quietly. Kurt turned to Sam in anger, but didn’t respond in words. Kurt looked in the room to see if Petey had come home yet. He hadn’t. Kurt didn’t blame him, seeing as half the house hated him now. Kurt walked up to Jessica, who was nearly crying from the fight. “C’mon, let’s go,” Kurt whispered quietly in Jessica’s ear. Jessica nodded as Kurt wrapped his arms around her, and teleported the two away. Kurt was right when he said ‘everybody needs somebody.’ That’s how I created the human emotion system. Without someone that truly cares for you. Without someone who wants you to be happy, well you simply won’t survive much longer. Now you may be thinking, ‘who is that ‘somebody’ who truly cares for me?’ You may even be thinking that you don’t have anybody like that. But the fact is; it is very rare for a human not to have that somebody that cares for them. Whether it be a mother, a father, a son, a daughter... a friend. Often times that somebody that cares for you doesn’t seem to care for you at all. Sometimes you overlook the kindness they give you. Most times you overlook the kindness you give others, because that’s how I made kindness to be. Kindness is an impulsive emotion; but when taken out of the equation of life, then it becomes so noticeable that it’s no longer present. Kurt had Jessica and Petey. Jessica had Kurt. Sam had Kurt. Anna had Petey. Who did Petey have? Part 3: A Missing Rabbit Kurt teleported Jessica and himself back to the warehouse to find Petey. Petey had left already. Kurt looked around with Jessica, calling out Petey’s name, as if they were searching for a lost pet. “He’s not here anymore,” Kurt said. Jessica turned to him. “Can’t you track him down?” Jessica asked. Kurt drew up a green grid map to see if he could locate Petey. I didn’t let him track down Petey, so I concealed Petey’s location. I knew that Petey needed some time alone, away from people. “He’s not on the map,” Kurt said. He walked over to a box and sat down. Jessica sat next to him, leaning against him with her smooth skin. Kurt held his head down. Jessica tried to comfort him. “I’m sure he’s fine,” Jessica assured Kurt. Kurt wasn’t convinced. “Do you know what she said to him?” Kurt said softly. Jessica shook her head down. Kurt created a recreation with the power of humor out in the open space of the warehouse, in the same places it had happened before. Rough drawn versions of Anna


and Petey appeared on the floor, scribbled on to show Jessica exactly what Anna had yelled at Petey. “God dammit Petey!” “I don’t need a fucking rabbit to defend me…” “You’re the worst kind of asshole…” “Shut up! Shut the fuck up!” “…No one wants your fucking help! So leave me alone!” Some of the ugliest words I have ever seen. Jessica finally shed tears. When Kurt saw this, he instantly stopped the animation and hugged Jessica. She continued to cry heavily over the fight. Kurt didn’t think Jessica sympathized with Petey so much. He didn’t think the two had much of a relationship. “Why would she say such things to poor Petey?” Jessica said through her tears. Kurt looked down, trying to think of an answer. He found one; the one that he hated the most. “She thinks Petey isn’t real. She thinks he’s just an image created by me.” Wrong answer. Sorry… Continuing on with the story. “How can she doubt that Petey’s real?” Jessica asked softly. “Do you think he’s real?” Kurt asked. Jessica turned her face to Kurt’s. “Oh course he’s real. He’s affected our lives in what I think is a positive manner, how is that not real? How can something that is not real do something like that?” Jessica said to Kurt. At that moment, Kurt had fallen in love with Jessica. After a month, Kurt had the confidence to say the simple phrase that followed. “I love you,” he said softly. Jessica’s eyes widened, as her tears came back. This time the tears were not from sadness, but from happiness. She kissed Kurt, as they held each other for moments more. Jessica stopped the kiss to ask a question. “Do you think he’ll be ok?” Jessica asked. “Petey?” “Yeah.” “I don’t know… You’re really concerned aren’t you?” Kurt asked, surprised at Jessica’s worry for Petey. “I just… I just really like him. I don’t think he deserved this, and I want him to be ok,” Jessica explained quickly. Kurt knew there was more to this. Petey had affected Jessica in a more specific way. “But you barely talk to him…” Kurt egged on, eager for Jessica to tell him a story. “We talk… It’s just that…” “Just what? What did you two talk about?” Kurt asked in a happy curiosity. “I’m… I’m too embarrassed to say,” Jessica laughed softly. Kurt wrapped his arm around Jessica’s shoulder, easing her in.


“Oh come on. You can tell me. What did he say to make you like him so much?” Kurt asked. “Ok, Ok… About two weeks ago… Do you remember that one night at The Act… You missed my show, the only time you missed my show… You had to make a kill at the last second after you and Petey’s show…” Jessica started. Kurt nodded. “Well that night the crowd was restless, and they kept calling out at me during the show. Hooting and telling me to take my dress off… It was humiliating. But Petey didn’t come with you guys to the kill, and he was watching backstage. When some members of the crowd began grabbing at me… Petey drew cartoon fishbowls on their heads, shutting them up…” Jessica laughed as Kurt did the same. Tears came with Jessica’s laugh, as she started to slightly cry again as she continued on. “And then… When I was finished… He said something that just… made me feel special…” Jessica continued. She started to cry heavily. “He said I was as beautiful as my singing,” Jessica finished as she fell into Kurt’s shoulder, crying. Kurt held Jessica’s head on his shoulder, comforting her. “God I just hope he’s ok. He doesn’t deserve that… What Anna gave him… Nobody deserves that. Especially not him,” Jessica cried. Kurt pulled her back up. “Well we have a set tonight. He’ll be there, he never misses a show. I’m sure by then he’ll be at least a little better. But for now, let’s let him be and go home,” Kurt suggested. “Ok…” Jessica said, but stayed sitting. “…You know what I want to do today?” she started. Kurt looked to her. “I want to just stay inside and have sex all day,” she said in a light attitude. Kurt smiled back. “I have to admit… I like that idea,” he said as he held Jessica’s hand and teleported the two home to their room. At the loft, Sam sat on the couch watching some movie that was playing on TV. He watched it as he always watched movies; arms crossed and legs laid straight out. He looked at the clock. 1:00 PM. He had been watching TV for more than four hours now. He started to stand up, until Anna’s door slowly opened. Anna stepped out gingerly, and saw that Sam was the only other person in the loft. She felt relieved, as she walked out. “Everyone else is gone?” Anna asked softly as she walked to Sam. “I think so. I haven’t seen them all day,” Sam answered. Anna looked down to the floor. “I really caused some drama today, didn’t I?” she said apologetically. Sam lifted her up, trying to cheer her up. “Nah Kurt needed that… Yes it’ll be hard for him to accept that the rabbit is only hurting him. But I think you ultimately did him a favor,” Sam assured Anna. Anna sat on the couch. “But what about Petey?” she asked softly. Sam sat back down on the couch to comfort Anna with wrong ideas. “What about him? He’s not real…” “I still feel bad though. The way he looked at me when I was yelling at him,” Anna said sadly.


“Anna he’s not real. Nothing was looking at you. I’m hoping Kurt finally realizes that the rabbit is nothing more than a drawing, and he’ll finally erase it. It’s only hurting everyone, and now Kurt finally sees that,” Sam said quietly. Anna leaned on Sam. “So you don’t think I overreacted?” Anna asked. In heaven, millions of angels watching down were screaming ‘Yes you overreacted!’ “No, you didn’t overreact at all,” Sam said sincerely. Anna laid her head down on Sam’s chest, as he hugged her to keep her from crying. She choked up, but smiled. “Thanks,” she said to Sam. “Just remember, he’s just a drawing,” Sam said to Anna. She looked up and smiled at Sam. However, she didn’t believe that Petey was nothing more than an image. As Sam kept talking to her, she pretended that her views towards Petey were the same as Sam’s. Inside, however, she knew that Petey wasn’t just the image that Sam said he was. As she lay in Sam’s arms, she couldn’t stop regretting what she had done to Petey, no matter how much Sam tried to tell her what she had done was right, and how many glasses of wine she drank. Part 4: A Separated Piece of a Mind 5:00 PM couldn’t come soon enough for Kurt. He knew that Petey would be at The Act at that time, and he could finally see how the rabbit was doing after Anna’s spat at him. He talked with Jessica the whole day while making love about what he would say. Jessica would offer other ideas of what to say to the depressed bunny, but as the clock came closer to five, Kurt still hadn’t completely planned out what he was going to say to Petey. It was all for the better though; conversations shouldn’t be planned out anyway in my opinion. “We got to go,” Jessica said as she sat up on their bed. Kurt looked at the clock on the nightstand, confused. “But it’s only 4:00. Our set starts at 5:00,” he said. “I’m opening up your set tonight, remember?” she said back as she dressed up. “Oh yeah, I’m sorry… My mind’s just crashed today,” Kurt said as he sat back up, scratching his head. Jessica was soon fully dressed in her performance outfit, a revealing, shining black dress with an end that reached up her legs to her hip. “What time do you need to be there?” Kurt asked as he pulled up his jeans. “My set’s at 4:30. Me and the band are doing a couple songs tonight,” Jessica said as she pulled up hosiery on her legs. “Which songs?” Kurt asked as he put on a casual shirt. “A couple originals that we’ve been working on for a bit,” Jessica answered as she signified that she was ready to go. “Damn… I really wish I could watch. I don’t know how much maintenance Petey’s gonna need,” Kurt said as he stood up. “Give him as much as he needs. Don’t worry about me,” Jessica said as he walked over to Kurt. She wrapped her arms gently around his hips and gave him another kiss. “Let’s get going then,” Kurt said as he teleported off with Jessica to The Act. They ended up in the backstage area with all the curtains. Jessica turned to Kurt, giving him one final kiss before starting to leave.


“I better go talk to Danny before I perform. Good luck honey-bunny,” she said cutely. Kurt smiled at the name, and walked towards his dressing room. When he arrived, he took a deep breath, knowing that Petey was probably on the other side of the door. He looked down, thought for one last moment before going in. He slowly opened the door to the dressing room. He walked in carefully, expecting Petey to be laying on the couch inside, watching television or something. He wasn’t. The room was empty and silent, even though the lights were on. Petey wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Kurt sighed. He hoped Petey would have been in that dressing room already. Kurt fell onto the chair next to the mirror, stretching his legs and hoping Petey would come soon. He looked around the room. The couch and glass table were the same as ever. However, something wrapped in a black cloth was sitting on the table. Kurt didn’t think of it much, as he looked off at the screen in the corner of the room. Suddenly, he heard a rustle behind that screen. After a few seconds, Petey came out behind the screen, dressed in a cartoon tuxedo. “I was feeling that the overalls were a little too clownish to keep wearing for the show, so I’ve been trying some more professional outfits. You like?” Petey said as he walked out with a smile. Kurt laughed slightly, glad to see Petey wasn’t killing himself over what had happened earlier that day. Petey continued on. “Hmm… Maybe keep the overalls. I guess I got to keep an image,” Petey said as he swirled around into a quick cartoon tornado, and instantly changed back into his normal outfit. He walked over to the couch and sat down. Kurt’s smiled gradually faded, knowing that the two couldn’t just joke around all night. “So how are you doing?” Kurt asked seriously. Petey’s smiled also faded, as his ears fell. “Not so good,” Petey said softly. Silence hovered over the room for a few seconds before Petey continued on. “Really bad actually… I just wanted to help y’know? I thought I was… I thought she was improving. Ever since that first day… I thought I was helping her see the good that she has inside her. Looks like I’m just making things worse,” Petey said. “No. You are helping. She’s just… I don’t know… She’s just,” Kurt said, not knowing what to say after that. “She’s right. She doesn’t need my help. She doesn’t want my help…” Petey finished Kurt’s sentence. Kurt stayed silent, trying to think of what to say. Petey continued on before Kurt could think of anything. “But I never thought she was weak… That’s the only thing she’s wrong about,” Petey said. Kurt finally responded. “She’s just scared. She wants to believe that she doesn’t need anyone’s help. But she needs somebody. Everyone needs somebody,” Kurt said. “I know… The problem is…” Petey started. Kurt looked up at Petey. “I’m nobody,” Petey finished as he stood up. He looked down at the item on the glass table. It was still covered with the black cloth. He picked it up. “What’s that?” Kurt asked softly. Petey took off the cloth to reveal a yellow stone. “Brimstone, I took it from the warehouse,” Petey said softly. The brimstone didn’t seem to affect Petey much, but Kurt leaned back in his seat, almost leaning away from brimstone. “Petey… Why do you have that?” Kurt asked, afraid of the answer. “I want you to touch it,” Petey answered somberly.


“No… No.” “Please Kurt. It’s for the best,” Petey said as he pushed the stone towards Kurt. “Petey, no…” “Touch it Kurt! I’m nothing but an imaginary friend. Put me back in your mind before I hurt someone else!” Petey became more aggressive, and Kurt refused. “No! Petey get rid of that stone!” Kurt demanded. “Kurt I’m only harming people! Touch it so everyone can have a normal life again. Just touch it, please,” Petey pleaded. Kurt, overwhelmed by the day that had brought so many arguments, finally exploded. Unfortunately, as Anna had done, he exploded at Petey. “Fine!” Kurt grabbed the stone from Petey’s hand. Petey flinched, but didn’t disappear like he thought he would. Kurt trusted that Petey wouldn’t die, but was still relieved that he didn’t. “There! Is that it? You’re just going to give up like that?” Kurt started, stone still in hand. “The Petey I created would be stronger than this. The Petey I created would have pulled out of this with a smile. The Petey I created would have never told me to kill him! Now what? He’s handing me a piece of brimstone and telling me he’s done. He’s telling me he wants to imprison himself back into my mind. He’s doubting his existence. He’s doubting his purpose…” Kurt forcibly told Petey. “Well I’m sorry Petey… The brimstone isn’t going to kill you. Why? Because you’re no longer a part of me. No… You’re completely separated from me as your own being. And you know what? I created you that way. And I admired you. I admired your kindness… your hope… your loyalty… I thought you were the most noble soul I’ve ever met…” Kurt continued on. Petey’s eyes were wide open in fear, looking up at Kurt. “ I never regretted making you. I was glad I did. And I was just hoping you were glad too… But I guess not seeing as you wanted me to touch this stone. I was hoping you were selfless enough to keep going on and helping me… helping Anna… helping Jessica… even helping Sam… Because dammit Petey, we need it. We need your help. We don’t deserve it but we need it…” “So I don’t blame you if you’re done, if you want to go home… If you want to end it now, just tell me and I’ll end it for you myself, just tell me,” Kurt finished. He looked at Petey. For the first time in his life, the rabbit was weeping. Kurt kneeled down and hugged Petey, who continued to cry on his shoulders. Kurt’s own creation was in his arms, crying. Kurt had seen cartoons cry on the television many times. Usually the crying was exaggerated into a humorous effect. This wasn’t the case. Petey’s tears were silent, as they fell to the floor. Kurt looked down, and saw that the tears weren’t cartoons. The tears were those of a human. “I’m sorry Petey…” Kurt apologized for his harsh comments towards Petey. “I just wanted to make people happy,” Petey said through his new found tears. Petey pulled himself back from Kurt and sat back on the couch. “…I guess I still can though,” Petey said, looking back up. Kurt smiled at this comment. “So you’re staying with us?” Kurt asked hopefully. Petey looked at Kurt and nodded happily. Kurt high-fived the rabbit and smiled, but knew that he was in no condition for a set after all this. “I’m glad… But we’re in no mood to perform tonight,” Kurt laughed as Petey looked back down.


“I’m going to go tell Danny to cancel tonight. I’ll be right back,” Kurt said as he stood and left the room. He walked through the curtains backstage, brushing them off as they gently smacked him. Suddenly he stopped. In the curtains, he stood there motionless. His head fell, and silent tears fell from his cheek. Lost in the curtains, Kurt took a moment to recuperate. He looked back up and continued walking, shaking off sadness in exchange for happiness. When he reached Danny’s office, he saw that there was no one in it. A clock nearby had shown 4:40. Kurt had lost track of time in the curtains. He shook it head quickly, and looked back. He walked to the official backstage area in the club. He found Danny standing side-stage, watching Jessica’s performance. Kurt walked up, not looking at the stage behind the curtains, and tapped Danny’s shoulder. “Hey kid! Why aren’t you watching?” Danny asked quickly. Kurt hunched down to Danny’s height to explain. “Hey Danny, me and Petey aren’t feeling so good today, so I’m afraid we have to cancel our set today…” Kurt started. Danny looked confused, and then pointed out on stage. “Well that didn’t stop Petey,” Danny said. Kurt looked out onto the stage. Along with Jessica and her band, was the rabbit, equipped with a microphone, watching Jessica sing. Kurt soon realized that the two were singing a duet to an original song. Even Kurt hadn’t heard the song before, but after Jessica sang her part, Petey continued it on with a joyful enthusiasm. The song had a certain comic bluesy tone to it, as the lyrics seemed to translate back appropriately. Before he sang, Petey changed his appearance to a cool Blues Brother-esque type of suit, complete with a black hat and shades. Now I don’t know who coined the phrase ‘well done is better than well said’ But sometimes I wanna meet the son-of-a-gun and knock him till he’s dead Now I don’t wanna fight I don’t wanna talk any smack I’m just waiting for the day that life will pay me back Jessica and the crowd cheered at Petey’s little blues solo, and Kurt was actually impressed. The song ended with instrumentals after Petey sang, and Jessica was the first to notice Kurt on the side of the stage. She waved her hands and signaled for him to come up. Kurt was hesitant, but walked slowly up stage. The crowd cheered as he walked on stage. Kurt waved out to the crowd, smiling and laughing at the whole performance. Jessica handed him a microphone. “Are you stealing my rabbit for your act?” Kurt joked as the audience laughed. Jessica laughed as well, while Petey comically shrugged his shoulders. “Where’d he learn that song anyway?” Kurt asked curiously. “I don’t know, we were just improvising,” Jessica laughed. Kurt’s eyebrows rose, impressed. The band started playing a familiar tune, and Jessica was setting up for another song. Kurt was about to leave the stage to let her perform, until he was stopped by Jessica. “C’mon, sing with us… I know you know the words,” Jessica invited. Kurt shook his head. “I can’t sing, you know that…” Kurt said. “Everyone can sing… C’mon don’t be shy. I’ll sing with you,” Jessica said. She started singing the words. I’m always thinking… of someone new…


“You are? Oh come on Jessica, what’s wrong with me?” Kurt joked about the lyrics. Jessica laughed, as the band kept playing the chords in the background. “C’mon… You know the song, sing along…” Jessica egged Kurt on. He nodded, and waved his finger as a metronome. He started singing along with Jessica. I’m almost perfect… Some of the time… I’m also sinking… Some of the time… I’m almost ready… Yeah, it’s almost true… For almost anyone but you… The crowd clapped along, even Petey, who knew the lyrics from Kurt’s head, was singing along. As the chorus came along, Kurt lit up the stage by drawing bright strands of light, creating a flowing animation of a variety of colors, providing an amazing theatric for the show. You think about anything you can I think about you… I’ll think about everything it’s true… True… True… The song included a finale in which a tune was created through the sound of ‘bah.’ If you want to listen to what it sounds like, the song is called ‘Anyone but You’ by the Counting Crows. Sing along if you’d like, the crowd did as well. Bah bah bah… bah bah bah bah… Meanwhile, back at the loft, Anna and Sam were on the couch, lips locked, kissing each other aggressively. Sam could taste sweet red wine from Anna. Bah bah bah… Episode 8: Walkaways Part 1: Unforgivable Regrets Anna woke up in a different bed the next morning. She turned onto her other side, Sam was fast asleep next to her. She looked down her sheets. Both she and Sam were naked. The alcohol blocked some of her memories of the previous night, but she gradually regained the important parts. She had slept with Sam, there was no doubt about that. She tried to remember the sex. She thought she remembered it as good, but wasn’t entirely sure. She slowly sat up, not to wake Sam, and walked over to the closet to dress. As she started to depart from the room, she saw that Sam had not even shown signs of waking up yet, and she sighed as she opened the door. Kurt was up in the kitchen, as he always was, cooking breakfast. Anna prayed that someone else was also in the kitchen as well. She saw that her prayers weren’t answered as she slowly walked into the kitchen. She had three choices: go into the kitchen and face Kurt, who she assumed hated her for what she had done to Petey, or go back into Sam’s room and face the awkward morning talk after a night she didn’t fully remember, or go


back to her room, alone and retreated. She chose the first. Kurt turned his head from the frying pan, and didn’t even say good morning, only a nod of the head. “Morning Kurt,” Anna said quietly as she sat on a stool. Kurt continued to make breakfast. The room was silent for several seconds. Anna looked at the window, which showed the grey outside. She didn’t want to keep the grueling silence going. “So how’s Petey?” she asked nervously. Kurt didn’t move his head. “Fine,” he answered quickly. More silence continued. Anna killed it again. “So he’s alright?” she asked. Kurt put down his spatula and looked up at Anna. “Listen, don’t pretend you give a shit about Petey. I know what you think of him already, so please don’t pull this bullshit on me right now, I’m really not in the mood. I’ll try to keep him away from you as much as I can… So don’t talk about him ok?” Kurt said in a stern tone. Anna looked scared at this response, but was still quick to defend. “I was just wondering,” Anna said softly. Kurt looked back up again. “Why would you? He’s not real to you, is he? According to you, he’s just my illusion. So I ask you… Please… Shut the fuck up,” Kurt said. Up in heaven, thousands of angels watching above cheered. “I never said he wasn’t real,” Anna said softly. “Oh so you think he is real then?” Kurt asked disbelieved. Anna paused for a moment. “…Yes. Yes I do,” Anna said, eyes watering. “Then why would you treat him like you did? Why would you treat anybody like that? Especially the one person who only wanted to make you happy?” Kurt started. Anna’s eyes became increasingly watery. “You know what I think Anna? I think you’re lying. I think you’re like your fuckbuddy Sam, you don’t think Petey’s anymore than a drawing. By the way, how was my brother last night? Is he good in the sack?” Kurt asked cynically. “How did you know?” Anna asked. “You came from his door. I don’t mind, though. You two seem like a fine match, two people who can’t get over the fact that people try to help them. You two can continue to sulk in each other’s pathetic apathy,” Kurt said scornfully. “I think it was just a fling anyway,” Anna said softly. Tears fell softly down her cheek. Soon her crying became audible, as Kurt looked back up. Anna’s head was in her arms, on the table, crouched over. She began the day crying on the counter as Kurt turned back to cooking. Kurt didn’t want to care. He still replayed the words she said to Petey over and over again in his head. She kept crying though, and Kurt couldn’t help but feel bad for Anna. She had made mistakes, but he didn’t know how one could make those mistakes. Kurt plopped a pancake on a plate and handed it next to Anna, who raised her head to see the act of generosity. “I’m so sorry,” Anna cried to Kurt. “Do you think Petey will forgive me?” Anna asked through her tears. “Honestly? No,” Kurt said bluntly. Anna continued to cry. “He was just trying to help. Why did I have to be such an idiot?” Anna cried to herself. Kurt looked back up. “You know what he did yesterday? After all the shit you gave him?” Kurt started. Anna looked up.


“He handed me a piece of brimstone, telling me to kill him,” Kurt said without a flinch. Anna’s eyes widened. “What did you do?” Anna asked fearfully. “I touched it,” Kurt said. The signal… Anna seemed to almost completely ignore the signal as she sat there wide-eyed at Kurt. The news of Petey’s supposed death brought her into a different world, as she sat there silently as Kurt instantly reacted to the signal by changing to his angelic form and rushing towards the door on the other side of the living room. “C’mon. We got work to do,” Kurt commanded. Anna turned her head to Kurt, still sitting at the counter. “You killed him…” Anna said softly. Kurt stood by the door for a few more seconds, deciding whether or not to tell Anna that Petey was in fact not dead, or let her soak in sadness for a bit more. He decided the latter. “Why do you care? He’s just an illusion anyway, now get over here,” Kurt said. Anna slowly stood off her chair, sulking her head down as she slowly changed into her angelic appearance. The two entered the room and walked over to The List. Only one name lit up on it. Trevor “Why doesn’t he have a last name?” Anna asked softly. Kurt knew the answer already. “…Because he’s already a demon,” Kurt said as he looked at The List and teleported off. Anna followed quickly. They ended up on a rooftop somewhere in Tokyo. The morning in New York was night for the Japan skyline, as neon lights shone all around. Mist fell over the sky, blurring out those same neon lights to simple glowing beams of light. Kurt let out his weapons, as Anna quickly did the same. “God, Tokyo looks beautiful at night, doesn’t it?” The demon spoke these words from the side of the rooftop, kneeling over the edge. He sat in a crouched position as Kurt turned towards the demon. He walked slowly to the motionless demon. The demon quickly twitched its neck, making a disturbing clicking noise as it did. Kurt flinched for a second, and aimed his gun at the back of the demon’s head. The demon sensed this, and quickly twitched his head around in a highly erratic matter, revealing his face. His face was only half human, which the bottom half being seemingly ripped apart from his time in Hell. The demon’s bottom jaw opened up quickly, and Kurt responded with one shot. The demon screamed in anger and jumped with inhuman speed up into the air and over Kurt. Before Anna could stop him, the demon grabbed his piece of brimstone from his pocket, and rapidly shoved it into the back of Kurt’s neck, digging deep into his skin… …Meanwhile, back at the loft…


Jessica woke up the second Kurt and Anna left for their kill. She walked out into the kitchen and saw Kurt’s unfinished breakfast. She looked around the empty room and sighed. No one was around, at least so she thought. “Morning,” said a deep voice from the living room. Jessica quickly jerked her head around to see John sitting on the couch, reading a newspaper calmly. “Shit, you scared me,” Jessica said, catching her breath. “Thanks, I try,” John smiled back as Sam’s door opened. Sam walked out into the living room. He saw John was there, and he knew John wasn’t just stopping by. “What’s going on?” Sam said groggily. Petey’s door opened afterwards. “Anna and Kurt are at a kill, I’m just here to make sure you don’t follow them,” John said. Sam looked confused. Why would John not want him to help Kurt and Anna with their kill? “Petey! You look terrible!” Jessica cried from the kitchen. She rushed over to Petey, whose ears were low along with his eyelids. His nose was red, as his skin tone was paler than ever before. His cold-stricken voice spoke. “I think I’m sick,” he said before sneezing. Jessica picked him up and set him on the couch to lie down. “You can get sick?” Sam said disbelievingly. “I guess so,” Petey replied. Jessica grabbed a blanket from the cupboard and placed it on Petey. Sam couldn’t help but be jealous of the rabbit, as Jessica leaned over Petey to put the blanket on him. Her breasts hovered above him, as she comforted Petey as best she could. She grabbed a thermometer and gently placed it into Petey’s mouth. Sam snapped back, knowing that Jessica was Kurt’s. He deserved her, he thought. “I’m taking you to a doctor,” Jessica said as she pulled out the thermometer. John spoke up. “I know the perfect man for you,” John said as he put down his newspaper. “I programmed him into the GPS in whatever car you drive downstairs in the garage. He knows who you are,” John said as he stood up. When Sam looked back up, John was gone. “C’mon Petey, let’s go,” Jessica said. “What about Kurt and Anna?” Petey asked through his sickly voice. “I’m sure they’ll be fine,” Jessica said as she started walking to the door. Usually Jessica worried about Kurt endlessly when he was out on the kill, but she felt strange that morning, like nothing was wrong. Petey slowly stood off the couch to follow Jessica. Sam stayed sitting on the couch as he turned on the television as the two left the loft. “Fuck!” Kurt yelled back at the kill. The piece of brimstone was deep into the back of his neck, as the demon hopped off onto the ground. Kurt fell to the ground, changing back to his human appearance. His weapons disappeared. Anna finally stepped into the fight. She teleported in and swung her daggers at the demon, who rapidly dodged them with twitch-like reflexes. The demon pulled out a trick after Anna came into the fight. The demon unleashed his power, as a portal sprung out of the air, sucking in Kurt and Anna into what seemed like a different dimension. Anna felt the force of the transformation, and she felt like she was about to pass out. When everything stopped, the setting had completely changed. The Tokyo skyline changed to a watercolor-like background, which slowly adapted to various changes in color.


Kurt slowly tried to move himself up, but the pain was too great. The yellow stone had struck a nerve, as Kurt couldn’t move his head up. Anna looked back down at Kurt. “Kurt, are you ok?” Anna asked quickly. “No, now kill the demon behind you,” Kurt said before the demon attacked Anna from behind. At this, Anna made herself invisible. The demon lost grip of Anna, as she moved around. The demon took out a gun and aimed it at Kurt. “Show yourself or cartoon-man dies!” the demon yelled. Part Two: A Fuzzy Little Man “Jesus Christ, Petey… you’re burning up,” Jessica said after reaching over the seat to feel Petey’s head. She was driving to the man John had sent her to. “I don’t feel that bad,” Petey said softly as Jessica turned into the parking lot. A large sign hovered over the entrance. Veterinarian “He sent us to a vet?” Jessica said confused. “Well… I am a rabbit…” Petey said as he opened the door. They walked into the lobby, which was crowded with families and their various types of pets. All stared at Petey and Jessica as they entered. Jessica looked nervous as she sat down. Petey just looked sick. Kids watched with their mouths wide open at the real-life cartoon, as some of the parents and other adults whispered to themselves about the times they saw the rabbit on television or at the club. Both Jessica and Petey noticed a sign at the same time. All animals must be on a leash or in a cage Jessica looked down at Petey with a nervous face. Petey quickly broke the awkwardness, and drew himself a cheap red leash around his neck and humbly held the end out to Jessica. Jessica took it, and laughed slightly. “Sorry…” she whispered. Petey didn’t really care; he wasn’t really one to be humiliated. After all, he was a cartoon rabbit. However, seeing everyone in the lobby stare at him was a bit daunting for Petey. He couldn’t read their faces. He couldn’t tell whether they hated him, loved him, or were just curious. As Jessica filled out a check-in sheet, Petey saw a group of small children staring at him in wonderment. He smiled back, as they smiled and laughed at the bunny in a joy that comforted Petey. The moment Jessica left the check-in table, the nurse called her back. Petey looked back. He couldn’t make out what they were saying. He thought that they were probably talking about how they weren’t the kind of veterinarian that fixes cartoon rabbits. However, shortly after that thought Jessica signaled Petey to follow her. He stood and saw the kids that were staring at him. He gently waved back at them, as they excitedly waved back and laughed. “Come with me please,” the nurse said sternly as they walked past a door. Once the door closed, the nurse completely changed attitudes. “Oh my God… It is such a pleasure to meet you two. I’ve been watching you guys since you all started,” the nurse said. The two looked extremely confused. “Umm… excuse me?” Jessica said.


“Oh honey… I’m an angel,” the nurse said as a light halo appeared over her head. Around the room, the other nurses revealed themselves to be angels as well. Both Jessica and Petey looked around wide-eyed. “We all follow you angels back up in heaven. We actually have your lives recorded on T.V. up there. Oh by the way, we’re so sorry what happened with Anna, Petey. I damn near cried when she yelled at you like that,” the nurse talked quickly. Petey nodded nervously. Finally, a male doctor emerged from the female nurses, and approached Petey and Jessica. “Hello you two, my name’s Dr. Jule,” the doctor introduced himself. Both Jessica and Petey shook his hand and followed him to an examination room. “Sorry ‘bout the nurses. They’ve got AOD-obsession. You know a lot of angels up there have it,” Dr. Jule said as they walked. “So… I didn’t know angels walked the earth…” Jessica said. “Oh of course they do! However, only angels can tell angels from humans. Humans can’t see these halos, well except for you apparently,” the doctor explained as they entered the exam room. “I thought they would just stay in heaven,” Jessica said. “You know, you’d think so… But I dunno… I just love this world too much, I couldn’t bear be without it. My wife never comes down here though, big fan of you AOD’s, she is…” the doctor said as he grabbed a chart and began penciling in information. Petey hopped up on a table as Jessica sat on a stool nearby. “Now Petey… I’m going to be perfectly honest,” the doctor began. “…I’ve never examined a cartoon rabbit. So I’m going to do the basic procedures to see what’s wrong with you,” Dr. Jule said. Petey nodded. “Now Petey, the first thing I’m going to need you to do is go ahead and take off your overalls,” the doctor said. Petey looked up for a bit, back at Jessica, and then back at the doctor. “But doctor… There’s a lady present.” “I’m going to count to three, if you don’t show yourself, I’ll shoot your friend!” the demon yelled at Anna, who was still invisible at the other side of the new dimension. “1…” the demon started. Anna refused to show herself as she rushed towards the demon that was holding Kurt hostage. She tried to quiet down her footsteps as she quickly ran over to the demon, hoping not to give away her stealth. “2…” the demon continued. The demon looked down at Kurt, whose head was starting to lift up. He looked at the demon’s black eyes, as the demon’s disfigured face looked back down. “Any last words, angel?” the demon said with a cocky stare. “Yeah… Anna, aim for the neck,” Kurt said. The demon’s eyes widened as an invisible knife dug deep into the throat of the demon. The demon’s arm flew out to the left, shooting a renegade bullet, but missing Kurt or Anna. Black blood splattered around as Anna sliced her knife sideways, leaving a large slit in the demon’s neck. The blood revealed Anna, as it formed into her shape. She became visible and rushed towards Kurt. “Thanks,” Kurt said weakly. The setting changed rapidly as the demon died. It left the dimension and back to the real world. The Tokyo skyline looked darker than before. A large clock showed the time. “C’mon, we need to fix you up,” Anna said as she grabbed Kurt’s limp body.


“Shit… Where did that demon take us?” Kurt said, ignoring his wound. “I don’t know, but we need to get this piece of brimstone out of your neck or you won’t heal,” Anna said as he brought Kurt up to his feet, holding carefully to his shoulders. “Is that clock right?” Kurt said as he looked off to the distance. Carrying Kurt by his shoulder, Anna looked up. “What do you mean?” Anna asked. “According to that clock, we were fighting that demon for two hours,” Kurt said. Anna turned to Kurt. “There’s no way we were fighting for two hours. That dimension sped up time or something… Damn I feel like shit,” Kurt said as he spit up blood. Anna readjusted him on her shoulder. “Of course you do, you were stabbed in the back of the neck by a sharp yellow stone. C’mon, we need to get help for you,” Anna said as she teleported the two home. Jessica looked up at the clock in the nurse’s office at the angels’ veterinarian office. It read 10:05, about thirty minutes after she and Petey left the loft. She left the examination room for Petey’s privacy, but now had to deal with the nurses. The nurses would not shut up about things they saw in the AODs’ lives up in heaven. They kept asking questions and making useless observations about nothing. They wouldn’t stop praising Jessica for being who she was, whoever that was… “So, is Kurt really that great in the sack, or have you been faking it a bit?” one of the nurses asked, bringing Jessica out of a sort of daze. “What?” Jessica snapped back. The nurses kept smiling and giggling. “I’m just wondering… I mean, he’s not the cutest thing ever, but does he make up for it in bed or what?” the nurse continued. Jessica decided to play along. “Sure,” Jessica said awkwardly. She looked back at the clock. She wondered how long it would take for that doctor to finish with Petey. The nurses were driving her nuts, asking her a barrage of inappropriate questions about nothing important. She began to wonder about Kurt. She thought that the nurses probably knew what was going on with his kill. “Hey, can you angels watch our lives anytime you want?” Jessica asked. The nurses instantly lighted up with Jessica’s interest. “Yes! I watch you AOD’s all the time,” one of the nurses started. Jessica instantly interrupted. “Can I see what Kurt’s up to?” Jessica asked. The nurses ran off to a miniature television at the other end of the room, adjusting the cheap antennas at the top and invited Jessica over. “This T.V. can track you angels down wherever you are… Let’s change it to Kurt’s channel now…” another nurse said as she played with the knobs. The television screen only showed static, the nurses looked confused. They hit the television a few times, but Kurt’s channel wasn’t coming in. “Try Anna’s channel,” one of the nurses suggested. However, when they switched the channel, only static still showed. The nurses looked frustrated. “Try Sam’s,” another nurse said. They changed to Sam’s channel, which came in crystal clear, showing Sam typing on his computer back at the loft. They tried Jessica’s


channel too, showing the nurses on television, as they cheerfully freaked out knowing they were on television. “Why isn’t Kurt’s channel coming in?” Jessica asked from outside the nurse’s circle around the television. “I dunno… Maybe God switched it off or something?” one of the nurses said. “He does that?” Jessica asked. “Oh sure he does. He always switches it off when he thinks something should be private from other angels. He always turns it off when you and Kurt get it on…” a nurse explained. “I wonder why it’s switched off right now,” another nurse said. “Why is Anna’s switched off too?” another one said. The gossiping nurses instantly formed a guess as they all gasped. “You think…” one of the chubbier nurses said. Jessica rolled her eyes. The nurses shrieked and stared at Jessica. “Jessica I’m so sorry…” one of the nurses said. Jessica knew what they were thinking; Kurt and Anna were having sex. Jessica knew this wasn’t true. She knew something else was happening, and that ‘something else’ worried her even more. An agonizing hour and a half passed as the nurses tried to ‘comfort’ Jessica over their rumor. Jessica just looked annoyed the whole time, knowing that their rumors weren’t true. She begged for the Dr. Jule to finish so she could just go home. Fortunately for her, he came out of the examination room shortly after. Jessica quickly escaped the nurses to greet him. “So how is he?” Jessica said in a relieved tone, glad to be away from the annoying nurses. “Well I ran almost every test I could… And there’s something peculiar about Petey,” Dr. Jule started. “What do you mean? What’s wrong with him?” Jessica asked. “Oh nothing’s really wrong with him… But the test results for a regular check-up came back with some unexpected results. Follow me please,” the doctor led Jessica back into the examination room. Petey was sitting on the table, looking as good as new. He no longer had a sick expression, instead smiling back at Jessica. The doctor threw up some x-rays and charts up on the wall, showing them to both Petey and Jessica. “Well let’s first start with the skeleton… Petey your skeleton is built more like a human than a rabbit. In fact, you can say that about most of your anatomy. You’re built like a fuzzy, little man. I did expect this, however, knowing that you’re a cartoon and not an actual rabbit. But here’s the weird thing…” the doctor said as he brought up a few cups and vials. “This is Petey’s blood sample… Notice anything interesting about it?” the doctor said as he showed Jessica the vial. She looked at it closely; it looked like a regular vial of blood. “Not really… Just looks like blood,” she said. “Exactly! It’s human blood. Not even cartoon blood either; regular, real, human blood. It’s not just his blood either. Saliva and urine tests show the exact same results. Pretty much anything that comes out of Petey is regularly human. It’s not cartoon, it’s real. Petey essentially has a cartoon shell for a human body. A short body, albeit, but a human body. Hell, the rabbit’s even fertile, although my guess is that if you and him


hypothetically had kids they’d probably look like Bratz dolls,” the doctor laughed. Petey didn’t take the news too seriously, but Jessica kept a rather interested face. “How did Kurt create you, Petey? Last I checked, he had to power to create cartoons, not real beings,” Dr. Jule finished. Jessica turned to the doctor. “So what was wrong with him before?” Jessica asked. “With Petey? Oh, nothing really. He just had some bad allergies. Fixed it up with some cloudweed, only found in heaven by the way…” the doctor explained nonchalantly. “Allergies? What’s he allergic to?” Jessica asked. “By the looks of it… Pet dander,” Jule said. “Dander? But isn’t he full of dander?” Jessica said. Before the doctor responded, a nurse rushed into the room, yelling at Jessica and Petey. “We just got Kurt’s signal on the T.V., he’s been hurt real bad. They’re about to teleport back to the loft,” the nurse rushed. Jessica instantly rushed for the television as Petey teleported back home. “Petey!” Anna exclaimed when she saw Petey at the loft. She thought he was dead, knowing that Kurt had touched brimstone. Petey didn’t make much notice of Anna’s surprise, as he rushed towards Kurt. Petey grabbed Kurt’s hand. “C’mon, I know someone you gotta meet,” Petey said as he teleported Kurt off to Dr. Jule’s office before Sam could even realize anything was going on out in the living room. Anna was left standing alone in the living room, not knowing where to go, pondering how Petey was still alive. Petey gave Kurt to Dr. Jule. Even through his pain, Kurt made an effort to properly greet his new acquaintance. The doctor told Petey and Jessica that they could stay, but the procedure would be fairly gory. They stayed. The procedure took no more than fifteen minutes. The doctor used some sort of plant substance found in heaven. I don’t even know some of the concoctions some chemists make up here. But apparently Dr. Jule had one to dissolve brimstone, and was able to take the stone out of Kurt’s neck with ease, and letting Kurt’s body quickly heal the rest. “Pretty nasty wound you had there… Good thing we fixed it as soon as we did,” the doctor said as Kurt sat back up after the procedure. Jessica quickly embraced Kurt as he sat on the table, as she almost cried in worry for Kurt. Kurt looked back up at the doctor. “So how’d you meet these two?” Kurt asked. “Well this morning I saw Petey was looking pretty sick, so John told me to bring him here,” Jessica explained. “But Kurt, I wanted to ask you some things about Petey,” Jule said. The doctor explained Petey’s body type, as Kurt nodded. After the whole explanation, the doctor asked Kurt a simple question. “I was just wondering… How’d you create Petey? How’d you add in the real elements to his body?” Jule asked. Kurt thought for a few more seconds, looking down at Petey, who seemed interested in the answer too. “I guess I just tried really hard to make someone that I really wanted to be friends with… That’s all I can tell you,” Kurt said as he slowly hopped off the table. His wound was already feeling much better as he walked around the room. Dr. Jule grabbed another chart.


“Well, I’m off to help some other patients. Feel free to drop by anytime, we’ll be watching you,” the doctor winked as he walked out of the room. “C’mon, let’s go home,” Kurt said as he held Jessica and teleported her back to the loft as Petey followed. Part 3: Cute Lies When they arrived back at the loft, Anna was still sitting on the couch. She instantly stood back up to greet the three coming in. “Are you ok?” Anna asked Kurt. Kurt nodded as he plopped himself on the couch casually. “Yeah I’m fine. A doctor fixed me right up like it was nothing,” Kurt said. Petey inched himself back into his room away from Anna as Jessica came to sit in Kurt’s arms. Anna cautiously sat down, avoiding Jessica’s scowl towards her. “So…” Anna started awkwardly. Kurt looked back at her in a confident interest. “Need anymore proof he’s real?” Kurt said, referring to Petey. Anna bowed her head. Jessica laid her head on Kurt’s shoulder, closing her eyes peacefully as Anna and Kurt continued to talk. “So Petey’s ok?” Anna asked timidly. “Yeah… He’s fine. The brimstone did nothing to him,” Kurt said. “You think he’ll forgive me?” Anna asked. “You’ve asked that question already…” “Well do you think he will?” Anna asked again. “No… But I hope I’m wrong.” “Do you forgive me?” Anna asked Kurt. “Well you saved my ass today, and I know you’re sorry, so yes; I forgive you. But what you said wasn’t aimed at me, it was aimed at Petey. It’s going to be much harder for him to forgive you,” Kurt said sadly. “How will I know if he forgives me?” “Well that’s a tough one. You basically told him to stay away from you, so I think he’s just trying to fulfill your wish. The only way to know is to confront him yourself. His door’s right there,” Kurt offered. Anna looked back, and slowly stood up. She walked down the hall, each step shorter than the last. The hand-drawn door stood in front of her, as she slowly opened it. “Petey?” she said softly as she opened the door. She looked deeper into the room. “He’s not here,” Anna said back to Kurt and Jessica. Kurt looked at his watch. “Shit, we’re performing an afternoon show today. He’s probably there already,” Kurt said as he started to stand up. He gently woke up Jessica. “C’mon shnookems, we have to get ready,” Kurt said as Jessica stretched out. The two rushed into Kurt’s room, leaving Anna alone again. “Hey Anna, I was wondering where you went,” Sam said as he came out of his room about a half hour later. Anna was still sitting on the couch watching television. Sam sat on the couch next to her, casually wrapping his arm around her as if she was his girlfriend. Anna could not decide whether she was comfortable or not. “It’s 3:30, what have you been doing all day?” Anna asked.


“Writing… I had the music pumped up so I couldn’t really hear what was going on out here,” Sam said. Anna smiled, knowing that Sam’s favorite type of music was Japanese techno, which always made her laugh. “Well you missed plenty. Kurt almost died,” Anna said with a deadpan smile. “Did he now? How?” Sam asked. Anna began to fill Sam in on the whole day he missed while he was locked away in his room. “How’s your neck?” Petey asked Kurt backstage at The Act. “It’s fine, thanks,” Kurt answered as the DJ introduced the two. They walked out onto the stage. The crowd was as large as ever. People stood from the back with beers in their hands while the more ‘hard-core’ fans found seats early closer to the stage. Kurt and Petey actually recognized many people nowadays in the club. Kurt was the first to his microphone, as Petey climbed his stool, rubbing his arm. “What’s wrong with your arm?” Kurt asked. “Stupid doctor took my blood today. Used this giant needle and jabbed it in. I hate shots…” Petey replied. “Oh yeah, Jessica took you to the vet today.” “And I can tell you now why your pets hate going to the freaking vet. It sucks. They put you in some scary room, poke at you, shine lights in your eyes, make you bend down and touch your toes. I’m a rabbit for God’s sake; the distance between my arms and feet is about as long as my actual feet. Of course I can touch my toes,” Petey ranted. “I’m guessing it was a little humiliating?” Kurt assumed. “Humiliating? During a torture like this, being embarrassed becomes a second thought. He told me he was going to take my temperature, so I opened my mouth… The doctor didn’t get it in even close to my mouth,” Petey said as the crowd laughed. “But seriously, I’m just joking around he was actually a pretty cool guy,” Petey corrected. “Why did Jessica even take you to the vet anyways?” Kurt asked. “I was having allergies or something, so she was worried.” “Allergies? What are you allergic to?” Kurt asked. “Pet dander, apparently.” Back at the loft, Anna finished telling Sam about her latest kill. Sam seemed impressed. “Tokyo, eh? I wish I had gone, I’ve always wanted to visit Tokyo,” Sam said. Anna nodded. Silence hovered over the room. Sam looked at Anna. “Listen… about last night,” Sam started. Anna looked back. “…What do you remember about it?” Sam asked. “Honestly? Nothing much except for this morning,” Anna said. “We had sex, if you didn’t know,” Sam said. Anna looked annoyed. “Well I knew that, Jesus,” Anna said as she distanced herself from Sam. “But I think… I think I really like…” “Listen Sam… I like you. But we’re both angels. It’s almost like dating a coworker. If it doesn’t work out, we’re still going to share the same house and see each other. I’m not sure we should risk it,” Anna said. “So you don’t want to try just because you think we’re obligated to eventually break up? That sounds a little pessimistic,” Sam argued.


“No Sam, you know that’s not what I meant…” “Then why not try a date? C’mon it’ll be fun.” Sam smiled. Anna sighed. “Sam… You should do what Kurt did. Go out there and find someone normal. Someone who isn’t an angel. Look how happy Kurt is with Jessica. You’ll like someone out there a lot more than me,” Anna said. “No I won’t,” Sam said quickly. “Yes you will.” “No I won’t, trust me.” “Why?” Anna asked. Sam paused for a moment, afraid to say the next sentence. “Because… You were the first one,” Sam said under his breath. “What?” “You’re the first girl I’ve actually had sex with,” Sam admitted. Anna burst out laughing. “You can’t be serious! I’m sorry…” Anna continued laughing. Sam looked embarrassed, but was still smiling. “I am… I was a virgin before last night,” Sam said. “But you’re 24 for Christ’s sake! How is that possible?” “I’ve gotten close… But I guess I just never thought that any girl was good enough, until last night,” Sam said. I almost choked at the amount of cheesiness going on. “Close? What do you mean ‘close’?” “Well in high school, I had five different girlfriends. Each break-up was the same. After a few dates we’d get in bed… And something would just tick in my head, and I just couldn’t do it. They didn’t feel like ‘the one.’ But last night…” “Sam, I was drunk. You probably were too,” Anna argued. “I didn’t drink anything. I remember it all. I remember how relieved I was to finally find a girl I feel that I could actually like. Anna, please. I know it sounds crazy but I really, really think this could work. I really like you. I know I do, please…” “You’re really sweet…” Anna said. “So go out with me! C’mon…” Sam begged. “Sam… You should find a good girl for yourself. I’m not that girl.” Anna said sadly. “I think you might be though. One date…” Sam said. Anna smiled. “Fine… Tomorrow,” Anna said. Sam looked at the clock. “But right now I just want to chill out, it’s been a long day,” Anna said as she turned on the television. I learned a lot that night about the two. I was introduced to a new type of awkward chemistry between two people. I saw a new tray of emotions between two people who usually like to hide their own. Also I learned… …Sam’s a fucking liar. He lost his virginity in 9th grade to some girl with fake black hair and a piercing on her tongue. In fact, he’s had so many different sexual partners even I don’t know how he hasn’t contradicted some serious STD. But his effort towards Anna was cute anyway, I guess. Part 4: Simon


No big differences today Just the same old walkaways… “And I am… officially drunk,” Kurt said back at The Act. It was 12:30 AM, and the acts were finished for the night. Kurt, Jessica, and Petey were sitting in a round booth along with numerous other workers and fans at The Act. Petey managed to remember each and every one of their names. Kurt could barely remember Jessica’s guitarist’s name as he asked him to retrieve another beer from the bar. Jessica was half asleep on Kurt’s shoulder as Kurt wrapped his arm around her. Petey was the only stable and awake angel at the table, strictly sticking to his favorite drink, carrot juice. Petey had befriended the bartender, Joey Cartago, after their forth set. Joey stocked up on carrot juice after that night. In fact, every one of the workers at The Act had known Petey by now. While Kurt made somewhat of an effort to acquaint himself with his co-workers, Petey ultimately found the most popularity among the club. Petey usually found ways to brighten up the dark bar with clownish humor. “Eh Petey, want me to get you another carrot juice?” Jessica’s guitarist, Dave Immergleck, said as he stood up to buy Kurt’s drink. “Nah, I gotta get going anyway,” Petey said as he teleported from the middle of the booth out to the open. “Shit, I forgot you guys can teleport. Kurt, get your own damn drink you lazyass,” Dave said. Kurt laughed and gently moved Jessica. He teleported out, but fell upon some tables next to the bar. “Never drink and teleport,” Kurt joked as he stumbled on. He saw Petey leaving, and found his balance to reach him. He hunched down as Petey turned back. “She’s sorry,” Kurt whispered into Petey’s ear. Kurt didn’t know what he was saying, but Petey did. Kurt found his way back to the bar and Petey teleported back home. Anna was in Sam’s room, watching Sam type on his computer. The two moved in there earlier that night. Anna wanted to watch Sam write. She lied on Sam’s bed, looking to the ceiling. Sam blasted some of his weird techno music. After a while, Anna started to actually enjoy the music. It was an acquired taste, she guessed. “What do you write about?” Anna asked from the bed. Sam turned around from his screen. “Whatever’s on my mind: memories, girls, friends, regrets …” Sam replied softly. “What are you writing right now?” Anna asked. Sam invited Anna over to the screen. “A little novel I’ve been working on for about a month,” Sam said. Anna walked over to the screen. So many words, she didn’t want to read. “What’s it about?” Anna asked. “The regrets,” Sam answered quietly. Anna walked back over to the bed to lie down. “Well give me a copy when you’re done. I wanna read it,” Anna said. WACHOO!


Anna heard a sneeze coming from the living room. Anna quickly leaped off the bed and to the door. “Someone’s home. I’m gonna go see,” Anna said as she left Sam’s room. Out in the living room was Petey. He sat on the couch, sniffing up the last sneeze he had. He looked up at Anna, as she slowly walked into the room. Something was in Petey’s lap. “I guess the allergies came back,” Petey sniffed in a nasally voice. In Petey’s lap was a grey tabby cat. Anna instantly recognized the cat. “Simon…” she whispered. “Someone at the club was from Santa Monica, and he told me he had seen an orange haired girl long boarding along the streets every night when he lived there. He told me where you lived, so I went there. I remember you said you left your cat there. The landlord told me that the cat had been moved to the local animal shelter, so I found it. Sure enough, Simon was there. They even gave him to me for free. Apparently he was scheduled to be euthanized later that week,” Petey explained softly. The cat jumped out of Petey’s lap and purred his way to Anna’s feet. “I thought maybe you’d like Simon back, he seemed to miss you. I don’t think he likes me as much,” Petey said as he took off one of his gloves to reveal many tiny cat scratches. Anna looked stunned as Petey smiled back at her from the couch. Had he forgotten about yesterday? “When… When did you do all this?” Anna asked softly. “Yesterday. I thought seeing Simon again might cheer you up,” Petey said innocently. “Petey…” Anna choked as tears fell down instantly. She quickly wrapped her arms down around Petey, crying in relief as Petey comforted her. Anna hid her face in Petey’s soft fur. “Why did you do this?” Anna cried. “Because I’m just an oblivious innocent rabbit,” Petey assured quietly. The cat sat on the floor, watching Anna’s sorrow against Petey. It turned its head slightly to the side. “I’m sorry,” Anna repeated. Petey continued to try to stop Anna from crying. “It’s ok, I just want to see you happy,” Petey continued. Anna smiled, knowing that it would make Petey happier. “Just remember, whatever happens, I will always be here for you,” Petey whispered. Anna continued to cry, but not in sadness anymore. Petey’s words were a comfort for Anna. Anyone telling someone that they will always be there for someone is always a comfort; but it’s a horrible pain when they realize that it can never be true. An hour passed by. Anna had finally stopped crying, as she lied down on the couch with both Petey and Simon on her lap. Petey was half asleep, Simon was fully asleep. They were both woken up by Kurt, who rushed in drunk from the door. “Look whose back together!” Kurt shouted with Jessica in his arm. Anna smiled. Kurt fell over, taking Jessica down with him. “God we’re shit faced… We’re going to bed. ‘Night you two. Petey don’t fuck Anna like Sam did last night,” Kurt joked as he stumbled into his room with Jessica. Petey looked up at Anna. “What?” Petey asked Anna, even though it was about Kurt’s statement. “Petey… I was drunk,” Anna tried to explain. Petey didn’t seem be phased by it anyway though.


“So… How was it?” Petey asked casually. Anna laughed in relief. “Why do people keep asking that?” Anna asked. “Probably because no one has ever expected anyone to actually have sex with Sam,” Petey joked. “Oh you have no idea…” And someday… I’m going to stay… But not today…

Episode Nine: Mrs. Potter’s Lullaby Part 1: First Dates and Scoreboards Three weeks passed by. Kurt and Jessica were still together, as the house’s new couple, Sam and Anna, emerged strongly after the first few dates. Petey and Anna’s relationship was more than fixed. The two were rarely seen apart except for occasional sets and kills. Demons came by rarely, and the kills were mostly clean. Sam was in a much better mood due to his relationship with Anna. He no longer slept in too long. He took Anna all around the world, using teleportation to explore. Sam rarely complained about Petey, and even started to tolerate the rabbit as the days passed by. The two mostly stayed out of each other’s way anyway. A new magazine started publishing called AngelEye. The magazine focused all on the angels and Jessica. Kurt and Sam found the magazine funny, seeing their lives typed out on paper with various pictures. They laughed at how wrong the magazine’s predictions about something about their lives were. Kurt and Sam even occasionally did interviews with the writers of the magazine, just for laughs. The scoreboard for the angels’ kills changed dramatically as well: Sam 79 Kurt 60 Anna 52 Petey 39

“I think I have a headache,” Petey said from Anna’s bed in her room. “What from?” Anna asked from the bathroom. “I dunno… I think it’s from the kill today,” Petey said as he lied on the bed. “Yeah you seemed a little weird out there today,” Anna said. “I don’t like killing anyone. Honestly, it’s not very fun,” Petey said as he looked to the ceiling. “I wouldn’t imagine you would… After all you are a cartoon rabbit. In fact, I don’t think anyone likes killing… Well except for Sam,” Anna said. “Yeah, but Sam treats it like he’s in a comic book. By the way, how are you two doing?” Petey asked. “Good, actually. He’s been doing really cute things lately. Last night he wrote me a poem,” Anna said as she checked herself in the mirror. “Aww how sweet,” Petey said in a fake voice. All in all though, he didn’t mind Anna dating Sam. Whatever makes her happy was fine with Petey.


“I know isn’t it?” Anna said, not picking up in Petey’s sarcasm. “So when are you going to find someone Petey?” Anna asked. “What?” “Well, you’re now the only single person in this house. Kurt’s been trying to set you up with someone for a while,” Anna said. Petey sat up. “What? Where’s Kurt right now?” Petey asked quickly. “Him and Sam are at an interview with that stupid magazine right now,” Anna said. “Oh God, I think I know why he’s doing it,” Petey said. “What are you into anyway?” Anna asked as she turned on the shower. “What do you mean?” Petey said. He looked to the open bathroom door. He accidentally saw Anna walk by naked as she entered the shower. “Like… Are you into rabbits?” Anna asked from the shower. “No… No I’m into er… human girls,” Petey answered in a strange comfort. “Cartoon or real?” “Real.” “Hmm… So did you try to sneak a peek while I entered the shower here?” Anna asked jokingly. “I accidentally saw a bit, sorry,” Petey answered. Anna laughed. “But seriously, you need to find someone. It’s not fair you help everyone out here and not get someone too,” Anna said as she washed up. “I’ll try a little harder I guess,” Petey said. “What about someone at the club? You seem to know everyone there,” Anna said. “Yeah… But I don’t know if any of the girls there are interested in me.” “You’d be surprised… Think about it. You don’t think any girl there has flirted with you?” Anna asked. Petey thought about it for a bit. He remembered the nights before, and the various women that would wrap their arms around him. “Well I guess a few… Or a lot… Aw geez, I never realized it. Every one of those girls, actually,” Petey said. “See? You’re performing tonight, right? Just take it farther with one of those girls. It’s that easy,” Anna suggested. “Take it farther? I don’t understand,” Petey said. “Do some flirting back. You know… Tell a few jokes, call them pretty…” “I already do that, though,” Petey said. “Well then you’re already there! Just pick one, take her out or something, and there you go. It’s as easy as that,” Anna said. “I’m supposed to just ‘pick’ one? I don’t even know if I like any of the girls there like that,” Petey said. “Petey, there’s like twenty of them there. You have to like one of them.” “Well yeah I like all of them, I just don’t know if I like them in that way,” Petey said. “Wow, you make this much harder than most other guys,” Anna laughed from the shower. “You know you’re forgetting something big too…” Petey started. “…I’m a rabbit. What girl wants to date a rabbit?” “Oh Petey, you’re like a sweet-talking, fuzzy, little stuffed-animal. Every girl wants that. Plus, I think every one of those girls is at least curious of what it’s like to go


out with you,” Anna said as she turned off the shower. Petey covered his eyes with his ears. “Seriously, you’re every girl’s dream. You’re cute, you’re nice, you make people feel good… Find someone that makes you happy,” Anna said as she stepped out of the shower. “You make me happy,” Petey said. “Yeah, well I’m not going to have sex with you. At least not while I’m still dating Sam,” Anna joked. She looked out into her bedroom and saw Petey’s ears over his eyes. “What are you doing?” she asked. “Respecting your privacy.” “Oh like I care if you see me naked,” Anna said as she walked back to grab a towel. She walked back out with a towel on. “You can open your eyes now,” Anna said as she walked over to her dresser. “So you think I can find someone?” Petey asked. Anna looked back, surprised at Petey’s sudden interest. “Petey, I know you will find someone,” Anna answered confidently. “Hell, if you weren’t my best friend, I’d probably be all over you,” Anna said as she dropped her towel without warning to Petey. Petey quickly closed his eyes again. Petey heard laughing out in the living room. Eyes still closed, he moved towards the door, but fell off the bed. He stumbled towards the direction he thought was the door, but instead hit the wall next to it, falling on the floor. “You can open your eyes now,” Anna said. Petey found his way out to the kitchen, where Kurt and Sam were laughing over something on the table. Kurt saw Petey come in. “Petey! Petey come look at this!” Kurt said, still in some hysterical laughter. Petey walked over to the kitchen, worried at what joke Kurt had pulled at the interview. On the table was the latest issue of AngelEye. The headline read: “New York’s Most Eligible Bachelor?” The picture below was a picture of Petey performing some nights ago. Petey looked annoyed up back at Kurt. Both Kurt and Sam were laughing their heads off. Petey opened up the magazine, which showed numerous pictures of Petey in poses he didn’t he remember taking. The text was even worse, citing quotes from Kurt and Sam in bold on the side. Petey read the worst quote aloud. “A quote from Sam… ‘I know he may be a rabbit, but I think he probably…’ um…” Petey stopped, refusing the finish the sentence. Kurt finished it for him. “Fucks like a tiger!” Kurt burst out with Sam in hysterical laughter. “I can’t believe they left that quote in!” Kurt said. Petey thought the two might die of laughter, and put the magazine down. “Well I’m glad you feel that way, Sam,” Petey said. Sam kept laughing. Anna walked out of her room. “Now if you’d excuse me, I’m going to go hide myself from humanity for a little while,” Petey said as he walked back to his room. The brothers’ laughing started to wear down as Anna walked into the kitchen. Anna looked down at the magazine. “What did you two do to him?” Anna smiled. “Just having some fun,” Sam said as he wrapped his arm around Anna.


“I talked to him today. He said he’s going to try to meet someone tonight at the club,” Anna said. “Petey owes us if he gets laid tonight,” Sam joked as Kurt starting laughing again. “But seriously, he’s nervous about it. Don’t give him too much crap guys,” Anna said sincerely. Kurt slowed down his laughter. “Yeah, I understand,” Kurt said seriously. “By the way, where’s Jessica?” Anna asked. “She’s back at the club rehearsing. I better go; I told her I’d stop by. Bye guys,” Kurt said as he teleported off. Anna walked over to the couch to lie down. Sam joined her, keeping her in his arms. “Well I’m glad you two had fun,” Anna said as she kissed Sam lightly. “Hey, it was Kurt’s idea. I just went along with it,” Sam said back. “Ah I see… Let’s just see what this article says,” Anna said as she grabbed the magazine from the table. “Hmm… Here’s a quote from you; ‘the rabbit is essentially a white stallion, ready to provide some lucky girl the ride of her life.’” Anna read, as Sam burst off in laughter again. Even Anna started laughing too. “Wow… It just goes on and on with cheesy metaphors doesn’t it?” Anna said as Sam kept laughing. “I don’t get it though. Why so much praise for Petey? I thought you hated him,” Anna said. “I don’t hate the rabbit… I just don’t like what he is. Besides, I was just fucking around,” Sam said. “Fine … Listen, I really do appreciate that you’re tolerating Petey for me. I was just wondering if tonight we could watch their set tonight. I mean, you’ve never even been to your brother’s show, have you?” Anna asked. “I used to watch him all the time in Georgia… But sure, babe, of course we can go tonight. I’m curious to see what it’s like anyway,” Sam said as Anna closed her eyes and lied in Sam’s arms. “I also want to see the rabbit get swamped by a bunch of ravenous, sex-hungry women.” Part 2: Maria Later that night, before their set, Petey and Kurt looked from backstage out to the crowd. In the crowd were numerous women, ranging from beautiful and polished to old and wrinkled, all who had read the article in AngelEye. Petey looked up at Kurt. “Are you happy?” Petey asked annoyed as he walked to a corner backstage. “Extremely,” Kurt laughed as the lights dimmed. The DJ introduced Kurt and Petey, and they both walked out, Petey slower than Kurt. A shrieking whistle of highpitched cheers from half-drunk women erupted. Kurt couldn’t take it, and he nearly fell to the floor laughing. Petey ascended his stool, keeping a stern glance at Kurt, who just kept laughing. “Now what’s so funny?” Petey asked Kurt as he kept laughing. “It’s…” Kurt tried to start, before laughing some more. “It’s just that… It’s funny because there’s all these women here… For a rabbit! I mean… You’re the Colin Firth of bunnies!” Kurt joked before bursting into another laugh-fest. The audience joined in, but Petey still stayed deadpan.


“I’m thrilled…” Petey said sarcastically. “Wait…” Petey looked out into the crowd. Most people in the crowd were holding martini glasses filled with some sort of orange-colored drink. “Joey what is everyone drinking?” Petey asked the bartender. The bartender yelled back. “It’s a new drink, carrotini!” Joey responded. Kurt fell into a higher pitched laugh. “Of course it is…” Petey said as he sat down on his stool. Kurt recovered from laughter. “You should try it Petey,” Kurt egged on. “I don’t drink alcohol,” Petey said. “Oh come on… Just try it,” Kurt said. “I don’t know what alcohol will do to me,” Petey argued. “Well you’ll need some for tonight. C’mon, drink.” The crowd started cheering ‘drink!’ along with Kurt. Petey looked down to the front row to see who had a carrotini. Just about every audience member had one, even Anna and Sam when he saw them. He saw a girl to the right side of the stage, sitting alone at a table, with the orange drink on her table. She had long, brunette hair that rested on her exposed shoulders. She looked young, no older than twenty-three. Petey walked over. “You mind if I try some of your drink?” Petey asked her. The crowd cheered as the girl nodded and handed Petey the martini. Petey looked out to the crowd, who kept cheering loudly. Petey formed into an overly rich caricature, sticking out his pinky finger and carefully taking a sip. The crowd cheered even louder then quieted down, waiting for Petey’s review. Petey held the drink for a few seconds, pondering the taste. “You know… It’s actually pretty good,” Petey said. He returned the drink to the girl in the audience. Petey tried to stumbled back to his stool, but fell instantly. “He’s really sensitive to alcohol,” Kurt explained as Petey lied on the floor. “I’m fine! I’m just gonna… gonna rest down here for a while,” Petey said as the crowd laughed. The show continued on for four hours, much longer than the usual show, but Kurt didn’t want to stop. The crowd didn’t want them to stop either. The show’s main theme was Petey, as most of the jokes were aimed at him. After the show, The Act kept its doors open as the performers moved to a backstage room. Kurt and Petey invited Sam and Anna in as well, while most of the audience waited out in the bar. “Alright, everyone knows our mission tonight: Find Petey a girlfriend and/or get Petey laid,” Kurt announced to everyone in the room. Everyone cheered, as Petey kept his same annoyed face, carrying a glass of carrot juice. “So… I have a bottle right here…” Kurt started, carrying an empty green bottle. “And we’re playing spin the bottle. Every spin comes from Petey,” Kurt said as he placed the bottle down. Everyone sat down. “Here’s the rules; if the bottle lands on you, you get to do whatever you want to Petey…” Kurt started before Sam interrupted. “If the bottle lands on me can I slap him?” Sam said. “No. In fact, Sam… Get the fuck out. Anyways, if the bottle lands on you, do what you will to Petey. Petey… If anyone starts to do anything that makes you uncomfortable…” Kurt looked back at Petey. “…Then that sucks for you. Now spin,” Kurt finished. Petey’s ears fell low. “I don’t understand how this will help me find a girlfriend,” Petey argued.


“Just spin,” Kurt demanded. Smoke started to fill the air as Petey reached over to the bottle. He spun it with a gentle flick of the wrist. It spun around for a few seconds, as Petey looked around the room. Kurt had allowed all the women from the club into the circle. The bottle finally stopped spinning, landing on one of the only girls Petey couldn’t touch, Anna. “Oh shit,” Sam said as everyone started laughing. Anna smiled seductively as she looked back at Sam. She turned to Petey and crawled towards him through the circle. Petey finally cracked one of his first smiles of the night as Anna wrapped her arms around him. The audience in the room watched intensely as Anna’s face approached Petey’s. She pushed her lips onto his, giving Petey his first kiss. She opened her mouth slowly as the men outside the circle cheered loudly. Petey’s eyes slowly closed, as he ears impulsively formed the shape of a heart. Anna backed away as Petey fell back down. Cheers, laughter, and smoke mixed the atmosphere as Anna smiled. “I’ll take her,” Petey said. The crowd laughed as Anna crawled back to her spot in the circle, and spun the bottle again. Petey sat back up, as the crowd kept cheering for the bottle to spin. This time the bottle landed on the other girl Petey couldn’t touch, Jessica. “What the fuck?” Kurt exclaimed as the crowd burst out. Jessica crawled over to Petey, giving a sexy smile. Petey had a face of both curiosity and worry. Jessica turned to Anna, sticking out her finger and slowly signaling for her to join. Anna grinned and joined her. The crowd watched in awe as Jessica slowly pushed Petey on his back. She locked her lips with his, as Petey’s eyes widened, but slowly relaxed. Jessica stopped kissing Petey, and sat up. She looked at Anna, as Petey lifted his head. Before Petey could recuperate, Anna and Jessica were already on his lap, making out. The crowd roared as Jessica and Anna kissed on top of Petey, waiting from a response underneath. Petey’s ears twisted, as his eyes widened. Anna and Jessica continued, waiting for something from Petey. “There it is,” Jessica said softly as she and Anna stopped. Petey sat up and looked down. “Is someone going to call PETA soon?” he asked. Petey reached out and spun the bottle, afraid of what the next girl would do with the certain thing Anna and Jessica had waited for. After about fifteen rounds, Petey had noticed that the bottle was no longer strictly attached to him. People started forming their own formulas, many which excluded Petey. The crowd was now too drunk or high to be aware of Petey as he slowly inched away from the room. He finally escaped as the crowd erupted into laughter over something. There was a large crowd outside the room, almost forming a line to inch themselves in, as Petey tried to avoid being seen. Luckily, the backstage area was dark. Petey quickly walked back to the area with the curtains. Petey sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall. He rubbed his hand through the orange strip of his hair. He closed his eyes, trying to decide whether to leave or stay. A light turned on, as a girl walked in. “Oh, I’m sorry… I was just looking for someone…” the girl said. Petey looked at the girl. It was the same girl who lent him the carrotini from the show. “Don’t worry about it,” Petey said, still looking at the girl. “What are you doing out here? Escaping the crowd?” the girl asked. “Exactly…”


“Aww… What were they doing to you?” the girl asked as she sat down next to Petey. “Horrible… Ugly things… Absolutely horrible… I think I’ll go back in a few minutes,” Petey said ironically. “I just heard there’s a game of spin the bottle in there,” the girl said. “Yeah, but it ain’t just kissing. I saw two of my best friends make out with each other on my lap until… well… you know. And then the next girl takes her hand and puts it down my overalls and… well… you know. And then some other girl does… well… you know. In fact, the whole thing was filled with ‘well… you know’s.” Petey said. “I know the whole thing then…” the girl joked. “I’m Maria,” the girl introduced herself. “Petey, nice to meet you,” Petey said as he shook Maria’s hand. Silence hovered around for a few seconds. Petey seemed nervous, until he finally burst. “I don’t know what to do now,” Petey said. Maria raised her brow. “What do you mean?” “Well… I think I like you. But now I don’t know what to do. Do I keep talking and trying to impress you? Do I ask you for a date or something? Or do I just make out with you like the rest of the girls?” Petey asked himself frantically. Maria giggled. “This is so confusing. I mean, I know us rabbits are known for just going at it and multiplying. Seriously, we’re worse than Mormons. I’m sorry, that joke was terrible…” Petey continued. “You’re cute.” “Thanks… I think,” Petey said nervously. “How about I stop by tomorrow before your show and we’ll talk about it?” Maria said softly. “That sounds good,” Petey said, scratching his head. “Ok good. See you tomorrow,” Maria kissed Petey on the cheek and walked off. Petey rubbed his cheek. “Best kiss of the night,” Petey whispered to himself. He then started to think about what had just happened. He stood up, looked around, and decided not to go back to the room with everyone else. He teleported home and sat on the couch, pondering over the night. As he kept thinking, the previous shame he felt starting to disappear, being replaced only by the thought of Maria. Part Three: Chases The next morning, Petey was the first up and out into the kitchen. He saw the sun rising over the city through the window. It looked like it was going to be a hot day. Petey looked at the clock. 8:29. Kurt would be awake in one minute. Petey happened to know that Kurt always woke up at 8:30. Petey also happened to know Kurt’s secret ‘hangoverbe-gone’ recipe as he opened the fridge. He grabbed a can of Sprite, a bottle of chocolate syrup, a gallon of orange juice, and a pack of Spree. He dumped them into a glass and stirred it up. Kurt stumbled out of his room right on time, as he slowly scuffled into the kitchen. He instantly recognized the drink as Petey held it out towards him. “You are the greatest,” Kurt said with his eyes half-open. He took the glass and took a long gulp, nearly finishing the whole thing. Kurt leaned against the counter, chewing on the pieces of Spree from the drink.


“So, last night was pretty awesome wasn’t it?” Kurt said as he digested the drink. “Umm… Sure,” Petey said unenthusiastically. “Ok c’mon. I got you laid last night!” Kurt said. Petey looked back confused. “No you didn’t,” Petey said. “Yeah I did. Remember? We threw you in Danny’s office with that one Mexican girl. You came out and were like ‘we fucking got it on.’” Kurt said. Petey looked unimpressed. “Now Kurt… Does that sound like anything I would ever say?” Petey said. “No, but that’s why it was so awesome! Seriously… I remember we put you in Danny’s office…” “Kurt, I think that was actually Danny,” Petey said. “What?” “You threw Danny in with that girl, not me. You just think it was me because he’s as short as me. I left the club around midnight,” Petey explained. Kurt looked up, confused. “Oh… Wait, why did you leave? You could’ve had any girl there,” Kurt said. “Well I did find someone…” Petey started. “Go on,” Kurt said interested. “Her name’s Maria.” “Is she hot?” Kurt asked instantly. “Well… Yeah, she’s pretty. She’s meeting me before the show today,” Petey said, adjusting his bowtie proudly. “Nice… What are you going to do to her?” Kurt asked. “I don’t know… Probably just take her out after the show or something,” Petey said. “Fair enough. By the way, were you there last night when Anna and Jessica started making out on top of you are was that Danny too?” Kurt asked. “No that was me,” Petey said. “You have to admit, that was amazing,” Kurt said proudly. “Fine, I’ll admit it. That was pretty awesome. But everything everyone did to me afterwards was a nightmare,” Petey said. “Oh please, what you got was nothing…” Kurt said. Jessica walked out, hair messy as she groaned. “…Try dealing with a drunk, horny Jessica and then come back to me. Jesus, I’m really not proud of what we did last night,” Kurt said as Jessica gave a hissy, drunken laugh as she walked in. “I have no idea what’s going on,” Jessica laughed. Kurt wrapped his arm around her and helped her into the kitchen. “That’s because you’re still drunk from last night,” Kurt whispered kindly in Jessica’s ear. She stumbled around as Kurt walked behind her, making crazy hand signals behind her back at Petey. Petey couldn’t help but laugh. “So where you think you’re going to take this Maria girl tonight?” Kurt asked Petey. “I don’t know,” Petey replied. “C’mon, you need to have some sort of plan.” “Well I don’t really know what this city’s like; I haven’t been out much… You know, being a cartoon rabbit and such,” Petey said.


“That’s it. I’m taking you out for breakfast and we’re going to tour New York. It’ll be fun,” Kurt said as he lifted up, almost causing Jessica to fall over. “But what if someone sees me?” Petey asked instantly. “Then sign of a few autographs… Come on, live a little,” Kurt said as Jessica giggled again. “Who did I fuck last night?” Jessica said as she kept giggling. “Me, now go back to bed babe,” Kurt said as he gently led Jessica back into the bedroom. “Holy cow, how much did she drink last night?” Petey asked. Kurt thought about it for a second. “I don’t remember, she’s a light-weight though. So are we doing this or what?” Kurt asked. Petey thought for a few seconds. “Yeah sure, I guess I need to see the city I live in anyways,” Petey said. “Great! Let’s go,” Kurt said as he walked down the hall. “Wait, aren’t we going to wake Anna and Sam first?” Petey asked. “Sam has the worst hangovers in history, you know that. Besides, he hates you enough anyways,” Kurt said as he opened the door. Petey quickly followed as the two went down to the garage. Kurt drove out in his Toyota Prius. He drove slowly down the road. “I’m surprised no one has found out where we live yet,” Petey noted. “Well we always teleport home, and apparently God owns the place and keeps the bills together. But yeah, people will probably find us eventually,” Kurt said as he drove on. “We do really need to get out more anyways,” Petey said. The two kept talking as they eventually drove near The Act. Petey looked around as they drove, spotting out potential areas to take Maria. Kurt eventually parked the car. The two stepped out of the car and started walking down the sidewalk. It didn’t take long for people to turn their heads at the sight of Petey. “Feeling a little exposed?” Kurt asked Petey. “Oh please, you know I like the attention,” Petey smiled as he waved back to people. Soon just about everyone around were looking straight at Kurt and Petey as they walked down the street. The whole area was actually quiet except for whispers between friends. Both Kurt and Petey looked confident as they walked down. “Hey look, there’s a theater. That might be a good place to take Maria,” Petey pointed. “Ah yes, I took Jessica there on our first date,” Kurt said. People still stared at the two, as some even pointed. Soon one person had the courage to speak to them. “Kurt! Petey!” a young man shouted from a side. The two stopped and turned to him. “Hey! What’s up?” Kurt waved back. The two walked up to the fan. “Dude! I’ve been watching you guys at that club for a month now! Oh, and I saw you kick that one terrorist guy’s ass a while back!” the man exclaimed. People started gathering around the three. “Oh yeah? Did you see last night’s show?” Kurt asked. “Nah I couldn’t get in! What happened?” “You don’t want to know,” Petey laughed. Kurt turned around and saw that a huge crowd of people had gathered around, listening to the angels talk. Soon, people started asking questions and giving comments back and forth.


“Hey I saw you last night!” “Keep killing assholes!” “Did someone screw Petey yet?” Petey turned back at that last question. Kurt calmed the crowd down. “Ok ok, umm… We’re looking to get some breakfast. Anyone know of a good café or something? We can talk with ya’ll there. I need some coffee though,” Kurt said. The crowd led Kurt and Petey to a nearby outdoor café, where the eager owner offered free breakfast for the publicity. People stood around, taking pictures and asking questions as the two talked like they were at a panel. Soon news cameras came in with reporters. Usually the angels stood away from very public areas outside of The Act. Soon the discussion switched to a summary of the previous night, as Kurt and Petey told the crowd about Maria. “What’s her last name?” one of the crowd members yelled out. “I actually don’t know,” Petey said. “What she look like?” another yelled out. “Well she’s young. Has dark brown hair, pale skin,” Petey described. Thousands of questions. Petey couldn’t answer half of them. Yet everyone in the crowd was obsessed with the potential love interest. The truth was Petey didn’t know that much about her. He had only met her last night. The faux interview ended when the two finished breakfast. To avoid walking through the massive crowd, they simply teleported back home after saying their farewell to the fans. “Guess we have a lot of fans,” Petey said as he sat at the kitchen bar facing the window. “Yeah, good to talk to them though,” Kurt said as he took a carrot out of the fridge. Petey looked out the window and down the street. Kurt began to eat his carrot as he saw Petey leaning over the bar, looking at the window intensely. Petey seemed focused on something outside. “What’s wrong?” Kurt asked. Petey seemed in awe. “Oh my gosh…” he started. Kurt walked towards the window. “That’s her. That’s Maria walking down the sidewalk there,” Petey pointed as Kurt looked out. Down on the sidewalk was a skinny, brunette woman walking briskly with a bright yellow outfit. “That’s her? Are you sure?” Kurt said. “I know it is…” Petey said softly. “Well?” Kurt started. “Well what?” “Go follow her!” Kurt said. Petey looked back without question, and teleported off. He teleported on top of a roof, watching down on Maria. She kept walking as Petey hid from her. He saw a better glimpse of her, and fully recognized her. Soon, after various teleportations, Petey was out of view for Kurt, and Kurt backed away. Kurt looked around the empty living room. He looked at the clock. It was past two o’clock. The two had been talking to the crowd for longer than Kurt thought. He sat on the couch, looking around in the silence. “Where’s Sam and Anna?” he asked himself.


“Anna! Where’d you go?” Sam yelled out in a dark alley. He slowly walked in his red angelic form, swords in hand. Suddenly a shadow ran past and down the alley. Anna reappeared from the corner, revealing that she had been using the power of stealth. “Damn it! I almost had him Sam!” Anna yelled back. “Oh I’m sorry babe,” Sam said sincerely. Anna gave an annoyed smile as she quickly ran to Sam. “C’mon, we have to catch him. He’s not a demon yet. We can save him,” Anna said as she grabbed Sam’s arm and rushed him out. Sam quickly started running along with Anna. The two ran out of the alley and down the empty street. Anna saw the marked man at the end of the street. Richard Vaquiez Sam and Anna had woken up earlier that morning to the signal. They had been chasing the condemned for a little under an hour now. The man was quick, and knew how to hide. The two kept chasing him as he turned the corner into another alley. Sam teleported off first, while Anna followed shortly after. Meanwhile, Petey kept on with his own chase. He kept on the roofs of New York, making sure no one would see him. He teleported from roof to roof, watching down on Maria as she walked the streets. Broad daylight made hiding harder for Petey, as he kept following Maria. He was curious to see where she spent her day. He felt guilty as he followed her, but couldn’t seem to stop so easily. Each teleportation brought him closer to Maria, as she showed no signed of noticing Petey’s presence. Petey found himself growing closer to more populated areas of the city. The buildings he hopped from became more and more modern, and soon he realized that he couldn’t simply teleport from roof to roof, he needed use more stealth. He teleported down to the various fire escapes on the buildings, teleporting from one to one. His view was obsessed by Maria, as she kept walking at the same pace. Petey decided he needed to pick up his pace a bit, and bring himself closer to Maria. He looked around, seeing that the streets down below were becoming more and more crowded. He was quite possibly the most noticeable being in the whole city. Hiding would be tough down there. But why was he hiding? He asked himself this question over and over again as he continued to follow Maria. Just go down there, he would tell himself. He couldn’t. She would think he was just stalking her. But that’s exactly what he was doing, he told himself. As Maria walked through the busy sidewalk, Petey quickly lost sight of her as she entered an apartment complex. He frantically looked for her, and only caught the last bit of her enter the apartment. Petey teleported to the top of that building. There was an entrance at the top, and he quickly opened the door and ran down the stairs. He looked down the middle opening of the stairs, and started teleporting down each set to make his trip quicker. Soon he was at the lobby. He took a breath, and quickly opened the door. He found himself in a crowded lobby, that all turned their attention to the rabbit. Mostly everyone recognized him, and everyone stood silence as Petey looked back with a


deer-in-the-headlights expression. He rushed towards the elevator, catching it before the doors closed. There was another man, mid-30’s, standing quietly in the elevator with a polished suit. Petey sat down on the floor, catching his breath, as the man stared back down. Petey looked back up. “Trying to find someone…” Petey told the man with a tired voice. “Shit. I can’t find him anywhere,” Anna said softly in the alley. Sam was behind her, as the two walked as quietly down the alley as possible, using the shadows to hide. The alley was a dead end, and trash cans were littered all around. There were plenty of hiding places all around the alley, and Sam and Anna blocked the only exit in the alley. “I’ll get him out,” Sam said to Anna as he ignited the entire alley in fire. Sure enough, Richard ran out, blocked by smoke and tackled Sam down. Sam sliced his arm as black blood spewed out. Richard managed to escape, but not without leaving a trail of blood behind as he sprinted down the streets. The street was populated with people as he dodged cars. People stared on as Anna and Sam ran out of the alley. People stared at the two angels as they looked for the condemned. They found him using the trail of blood. He was running down the sidewalk, pushing people down out of his way. Both Sam and Anna quickly caught him by teleporting. Sam was the one to stick his blade through the condemned’s chest, penetrating through his heart. Richard Vaquiez died without being consumed by a demon. The two angels had done their jobs. “Got him,” Sam said. Anna shook her head, exhausted by the kill. Sam walked to her, and wrapped his arm around her. He kissed her on the cheek. “C’mon babe, we did it. We caught him before a demon did. Let’s go home,” Sam said as he teleported home before the crowd of people rushed over to the dead body. The body was marked with its black blood poured on the sidewalk. “1202? Thanks a bunch!” Petey said to the man in the elevator as he left. “That’s where Maria lives. Go get her,” the man waved back. Petey was amazed that the man gave him Maria’s room after Petey told him he was looking for Maria. Petey rushed down the long halls of the building. He looked at the numbers of the doors. 1250… 1248… He had a way to go. He turned a few corners, and numbers we lower slowly. He reached 1210, right before a T-section. As he ran out, he saw Maria walk by in front of him, and down the hall. When he reached the T-section, he looked to the left, where Maria’s room was, and back to the right, where he saw Maria’s back as she turned the corner. On the wall there was a clock, which read 3:15. “She’s probably heading to the club,” Petey said as he teleported to The Act. Meanwhile, back at the loft, Sam and Anna had been telling Kurt and Jessica all about their kill. Anna was in Sam’s arms, as Jessica was in Kurt’s. Jessica was no longer drunk, but instead light and energetic. “Where’s Petey?” Anna asked. “Actually, he’s off chasing a girl,” Kurt said proudly. “Chasing? What do you mean?” Sam asked. “He’s literally chasing some girl he met last night. He saw her from the window and just teleported away. I have no idea where he is now,” Kurt laughed.


“So he’s stalking her?” Jessica laughed. “Nah I’m sure he found her and is talking to her right now,” Kurt said confidently as he leaned back. Back at The Act, Petey was adjusting himself in his dressing room. He played with his hair, looking at himself in the mirror. He worried whether or not he looked polished enough for Maria, but eventually calmed down as he sat down on the couch. He stretched his legs on the glass table, as he looked up to the ceiling. “So did you get a glimpse of this girl, Kurt?” Anna asked Kurt back at the loft. “Yeah, she looked very young…” The white ceiling tiles teased Petey as he stared back up in nervousness. He stood back up, walking back and forth in the room. He waited anxiously for Maria to arrive, but was dead nervous of what to say. “Seems like the perfect girl for Petey. She’s cute, thin, young…” Petey looked back in the mirror, judging himself. He sat back on the couch, pushing his fingers into his eyes. He brushed his fingers through his hair, pushing back his ears. “I bet Petey will screw it up somehow,” Sam said, laughing back at the loft. Petey looked at the door from the couch, waiting for some sort of noise. It was completely silent in the room, no footsteps or signs of anyone were present. Petey looked around, waiting for Maria to show. “C’mon, I want to get a quick bite to eat before the show,” Jessica said as she stood up. Kurt followed. “I’ll come,” Sam said as he stood up. “I’m going to stay here for a bit. Take a little nap or something,” Anna said. “Oh come on babe, come with us,” Sam begged. “I’ll meet you back at the club. I’m just going to rest for a bit,” Anna assured Sam. Sam shrugged, then followed Kurt and Jessica out the door. Part Four: Dirty Jokes A knock came from the door. Petey jolted out of his seat and rushed towards the door. He quickly slowed down before he reached the door, as an act to calm himself down. He slowly opened the door. On the other side was Maria. She wore a short yellow skirt with a white top. She carried a large camera by a strap along her chest. She gave a smile so sweet it nearly melted Petey as he looked up at her from the doorway.


“Hey, come on in,” Petey invited as Maria stepped in. Petey walked over near the table as Maria closed the door behind her. She found the lock and turned it loudly. Petey looked back, wondering what she was doing. “So umm… Our show’s in an hour. Kurt will probably be here about thirty minutes,” Petey started as Maria took her camera and started taking pictures of the room. Petey looked back, confused. “But… If you want to do something after the show…” Petey said. Maria wasn’t talking at all, just smiling. She placed the camera on the counter, turning the lens towards Petey, and pressing a button on top. She left the camera on the counter as she approached Petey. “You know… like see a movie or something…” Petey was interrupted as Maria kneeled down and grabbed Petey’s cheeks and pressed her lips against his. Petey’s eyes widened quickly, as he gave out a muffled ‘mmmph!’ as Maria continued to make out with Petey. The shock didn’t go away for Petey, as he soon started to try to escape Maria’s hold on him. He tried to push away, but she held onto him tightly. He saw the camera on the counter click and flash. Petey finally unlocked his lips against Maria, but found himself on the floor. He crab-walked desperately away from Maria. Maria quickly caught up and grabbed Petey, lifting him up as she plopped him on the couch, placing herself on top of him as she continued making out with him against his will. The camera continued to flash as Maria bounced up and down on the couch. She lifted her head up, adjusting herself, as Petey pleaded below. “Stop… What are you doin-mmph,” Petey was again interrupted by Maria’s mouth. Petey reached out from the couch, trying to bring himself off the couch. He inched himself to the left, and eventually fell off the couch. He quickly stood up and rushed for the door. Maria quickly grabbed him and pushed him against the wall, again locking her lips against his. She started working more aggressively as did Petey, who was trying his hardest to escape. Maria had Petey pressed against the wall as the camera continued to flash. Petey continued to squirm as Maria held him down tight. Soon Maria began working on Petey’s clothes, as she moved her fingers down his chest. She began unbuttoning the right button on his overalls. “No, stop…” Petey said through the kiss. She had unfastened the first golden button as Petey squirmed harder. She continued smiling, as she pressed him back. Did she think that Petey was enjoying this? Petey’s eyes widened even more as Maria started undoing the other button. “Please stop…” Petey gave his final plead as Maria continued on. The button had unfastened, and Petey gave one final look at Maria. He teleported back home, never to see her again. He ended up in the living room, where Anna was laying on the couch. He also happened to end up right in front of Anna’s view. He also happened to have his overalls around his ankles, as Anna stared directly at him. “Hmm... Impressive,” she said, raising her eyebrows. Petey looked down, and looked back up at Anna, partly embarrassed and partly horrified.


“I think I was just violated,” Petey said as he tried walking off. He tripped over his undone overalls and fell to the ground. Anna started laughing. “Would you like me to help you put your clothes back on?” Anna asked. “Meh… At this point, you’ve already seen it, why not just stare at it for a few more seconds?” Petey said as he lied on his back. He closed his eyes, trying to imagine he wasn’t there. “In fact, I think I’ll just lay here and hope maybe I’ll die now or something.” Kurt and Jessica arrived at the club about forty minutes after the incident between Maria and Petey. Kurt led Jessica to his dressing room, and opened the door. Maria was gone by now, but left behind a room with ruffled sheets and turned over furniture. “What happened here?” Jessica said. Kurt started laughing. “I think Petey got it on with Maria,” Kurt laughed. “C’mon, he’s probably back at home,” Kurt said as he grabbed Jessica and teleported back home. Anna was sitting on the couch still, watching television. Kurt came in excited. “Ok, where’s Petey?” Kurt asked eagerly. “He’s on the roof, I think,” Anna answered. Kurt looked confused. “On the roof? What about Maria?” Kurt asked. “Oh that one girl Petey was going to go out with? Yeah apparently she tried to rape him or something. He teleported home naked. It was like, poof… rabbit dick. Right in my face. Pretty fun day, I have to say,” Anna said nonchalantly. Kurt still looked confused, as he went out to the fire escape. He climbed up to the roof. Petey was sitting, arms on his knees, against the side. “Hey,” Kurt said as he sat down next to Petey. Petey didn’t respond. “So what happened?” Kurt asked awkwardly. Petey kept looking forward. “Well… Turns out Maria is crazy or something. She comes in and just shoves her face against mine and tries to… you know,” Petey said. “Why didn’t you just let her?” Kurt asked. “What do you mean? I barely knew her. I wasn’t going to do that with a girl I didn’t know,” Petey said. Kurt started laughing. “Makes you different than a lot of other guys then,” Kurt joked. “What? I just didn’t feel comfortable,” Petey said. Kurt kept laughing. “Fine, keep laughing. This whole thing’s your little joke anyways. I guess this is just the punch-line,” Petey said. “I’m sorry Petey,” Kurt said under another laugh. “It’s fine. You know I appreciate a good joke. I just don’t think this is such a great joke. I mean, I have been so uncomfortable these last few days. I just didn’t think this is how I would be by now,” Petey said sadly. “What do you mean about that?” Kurt asked. “I didn’t think I would be… involved with this kind of stuff. I mean, I’m a cartoon rabbit,” Petey said. “You’re just becoming more human than you thought you would,” Kurt said. “So this is what you humans like to do?” “Oh Petey… Most people would die for the life you live. Hell, me and Sam did,” Kurt joked again.


“What life? A life where random girls try to hold me down and take my clothes off?” “Exactly,” Kurt laughed. “You know, I wish this wasn’t so enjoyable for you,” Petey said. “I’m sorry. Listen, Petey, no more jokes. I’m not going to pressure you anymore. Do what you want,” Kurt said seriously. “Forget about it. I guess it’s pretty funny from the outside,” Petey said, trying to crack a smile. “It’s actually hilarious out here,” Kurt laughed again. “I heard you showed Anna your wang, nice going,” Kurt said, nudging Petey, who held his head down. Petey eventually smiled for real. “You’re the one who drew it,” Petey laughed. “Oh you’re going to thank me for that thing some day,” Kurt said. “Maybe,” Petey said as he watched the sunset. “Remember the first day you created me… I asked you what I was. I thought I knew the answer, but now I’m questioning myself again. Kurt, what am I?” Petey asked. Kurt looked down, and gave the right answer this time as he wrapped his arm around Petey. “You’re my friend,” Kurt said. Petey tilted his head down and smiled. “Now come on, we have a show to do,” Kurt said as he jolted up. “I guess you’re going to tell all these jokes about what’s happened to me tonight then?” Petey said as he followed. “Actually, I had a few new ones dealing with some of the Catholic controversies, but now that you mention it, I guess we could just make fun of you some more,” Kurt said as Petey rolled his eyes. “You know what, never mind. You’re not allowed to make any more jokes about this,” Petey said as the two climbed down the fire escape. I watched the two climb down from the roof, as I sat on that roof myself. Petey and Kurt couldn’t see me, of course. But I sat, looking at the sun disappear in the west. As I sat there, I wondered what Petey had started to become. I tried to decide whether I liked it or not. Ultimately, I decided that Petey was starting to mature by doing immature things that Kurt had influenced on him. This confused me because I thought Kurt would try to make Petey into the image of a typical cartoon character. However, as the days passed by, I saw that Kurt was bringing Petey into more human characteristics. Petey was becoming someone I wasn’t expecting him to be. He was becoming human. So I tried to decide my verdict as I sat on that roof. Was Kurt’s influence on Petey a good thing? Was it just one big joke? In the end I decided that Kurt wanted Petey to be more than a cartoon. He wanted to be able to love, to be able to feel emotions, to be able to not be alone. Ultimately I respected Kurt for that, and while it was uncomfortable for Petey to change like this, it brought him into the world we live in, so he wasn’t alone. However, Petey’s innocence still separated him from everyone else. Who knew how long that innocence would last though? I found out later that the answer was “about three more days.” Episode Ten: Recovering the Satellites Part 1: A Second Visit


“So I’m assuming you all read AngelEye’s little report that came out today,” Kurt started off the act the next day. The Act was full, watching Kurt and Petey perform another set. Kurt had a copy of AngelEye in his hands, and opened the magazine up to the article. Petey was sitting on his stool, looking incredibly annoyed. “So I wanted to give Petey a chance to explain the true story behind this article,” Kurt said as he gave Petey the article. The angels had read it earlier that morning, much to Petey’s disapproval. “Well, I believe the title explains the article itself… ‘I Had Sex with a Cartoon Rabbit,’” Petey said as the audience laughed. Petey gave a forced smile. “In the article, a young lady named Maria Potter claims to have er… done the nasty with me. It comes with pictures of her pressing her lips against mine,” Petey continued, spreading the pictures up on the wall for everyone to see. The pictures came from the camera Maria had brought in. Each picture showed an obviously unwilling Petey being forced against the wall by Maria. Petey started analyzing the pictures. “As you can see, I am obviously not enjoying anything she is doing,” Petey said as the audience burst out laughing over the pictures. “She came on me, forced me down, and before she could actually er… do anything, I got out of there,” Petey explained. His seriousness kept the audience quiet, until Kurt burst it with his next comment. “So what we’re saying… Is that poor Petey here was almost raped,” Kurt said as the audience burst out laughing. Kurt looked down at Petey. “I don’t understand how that is funny,” Kurt said to Petey. The two started laughing with the crowd over the situation. After the set, Kurt and Petey went back to their dressing room. Kurt sat down on the chair next to the mirror while Petey sat on the couch. “So are you sure you’re ok with this?” Kurt asked Petey as he tossed him the magazine. “Yeah, it’s fine. It’s pretty funny actually,” Petey said as he picked up the magazine. “Still can’t believe she just used you for a story. Did you even know she wrote for AngelEye?” Kurt asked. “Nah. It actually makes me feel kind of better, knowing that I didn’t break her heart or anything,” Petey said as he lied down. “You were actually worried about that?” Kurt laughed. “Well yeah. I kind of just left her there. That must have felt bad for her,” Petey said, looking down at his feet. “Petey, she molested you and then posted it in a magazine,” Kurt reminded Petey. “Eh, I forgive her,” Petey said. “Jesus Christ Petey, you forgive Anna for yelling at you for helping her out, and then you forgive this girl for violating you? That’s just beyond me,” Kurt said as he stood up. “I’m going to hang with the crowd, you gonna come?” Kurt asked Petey. “Nah, I’m just going to head home. It’s been a long day,” Petey said as Kurt left. Petey sighed as he watched the door closed. He closed his eyes. When he reopened them, he was back home, now laying on the couch in the living room. The clock read 10:30. Sam and Anna were probably back at The Act with Kurt.


He turned the television on and started watching cartoons. He found a channel playing older cartoons from the Golden Age. After watching short after short, he started dozing off. Eventually he fell asleep with the television still on. “We interrupt this program to bring you an emergency broadcast signal. This is only a test,” the television blared at 2:45 AM. After the warning, the television shrieked numerous beeps and annoying noises, causing Petey to jump out of his sleep and fall onto the floor. He groaned as he looked at up the television, playing the test. Petey stood to his feet and turned off the television. The room was now only lit by the moon and the slight orange glow from street lights from below. Petey started walking towards his room. “You’re a light sleeper aren’t you?” John’s voice shocked Petey as John turned on the lights from the counter in the kitchen. Petey turned back, still half-asleep. “I guess so. Well, g’night,” Petey said as he tried to walk back to his room. The moment he touched his doorknob, the signal blazed across his eyes. “Aww man…” Petey groaned as he let go of the doorknob. “Better get going,” John said as he read a copy of AngelEye from the counter. Petey looked back with an angry stare. “I’m going, I’m going…” Petey said as he shuffled down the hall, still tired. “Better hurry… Oh, too late. He’s a demon now,” John said nonchalantly. Petey looked back, showing a little worry. “Meh, he was an asshole anyways,” John assured him as Petey quickened his pace to The List. He finally reached the room and projected The List across the wall. Walker Shellon “Sorry, Walker,” Petey said as he teleported away. Of course it wasn’t Walker Shellon anymore. Wasn’t even close, actually. When Petey reappeared, he found himself in a green grassy field, as the sun rose from the east. The 2:45 AM he was in at New York was now about 9:45 AM in a place unknown. Petey had unleashed the schwip before the teleportation, and he kept it firmly in his hand as he looked around for the sign of his kill. When he saw her, he retreated his weapon. He saw a lone tree in the meadow, providing shade for Andrea, the demon he met almost two months ago. Andrea looked back, and even smiled back. Petey approached her tiredly. “You just put away your weapon when you see me?” Andrea asked. Petey sat down next to Andrea, as if she was his friend. “Well, I don’t think I’m going to need it,” Petey said as he laid his head on Andrea’s stretched legs. “You know, I’m still a demon. And you’ve only met me once. How do you know I won’t just slit your throat right now as you lie in my lap here?” Andrea kept a cheerful tone as she told Petey her dark scenario. “You couldn’t kill me,” Petey said as he closed his eyes. Andrea laughed. “Oh I can’t? Are you too quick or something?” Andrea asked. “Nah, I’m too cute,” Petey said. Andrea laughed and scratched Petey’s head.


“That’s true. Still ballsy of you to just walk up to a demon and lay your head on my lap like this,” Andrea said. “Heh, I can trust anyone I don’t think is evil,” Petey said. “That might bite you in the ass someday,” Andrea said. Petey looked up. “It already has,” Petey said. Andrea started laughing. “You know I’ve been watching you,” Andrea started. “I assumed you were. How do I look out there in the real world?” Petey asked. Andrea’s next statement changed the joking atmosphere to a more serious one. “You got off to a rough start didn’t you?” Andrea stated, referring to Anna’s fight with Petey three weeks earlier. “I have to say, you scared me with that brimstone. I knew that you wouldn’t die or anything, but the fact that you wanted to kill yourself? That hurt me for some strange reason,” Andrea said slowly. “I didn’t want to kill myself. I just wanted Anna to be happy,” Petey said. “You see that’s your problem. You don’t do enough for yourself. You’re so absorbed with fulfilling everyone else’s needs that you were convinced that offing yourself was the best solution for a problem that, frankly, was only created due to Anna’s selfishness. The fact that you had the strength to forgive Anna for what she said to you is amazing enough. I mean, Jesus Christ, you went all the way to California to find her cat. She destroyed you, and you basically apologized. Why?” Andrea asked. Petey stayed silent for a few seconds. “Making others happy makes me happy…” Petey started. “…And when she told me she didn’t want my help, I felt like I was being selfish, just to make myself happy,” Petey explained. “Wow… You felt like you were being selfish for constantly making an effort to make someone else feel good? Well, if it makes you feel any better, I know for a fact that Anna loves it when you make her feel good about herself. So I guess it’s a win-win situation,” Andrea said. “Well that’s a good thing then,” Petey smiled back at Andrea. “She’s so lucky. They’re all lucky,” Andrea said softly. Silence hovered over for a few seconds. “So you say you watch me all the time?” Petey asked. Andrea nodded. “Did you happen to see what happened last night?” Petey asked nervously. Andrea instantly burst out laughing. “Oh yes I did,” Andrea said. Petey groaned and covered his eyes with his ears. “God didn’t even censor it did he?” Petey asked. “No, everyone saw everything,” Andrea laughed. Petey groaned even more. “Wow, this is really embarrassing for you, isn’t it?” Andrea asked with concern. “Well I guess it’s just a new emotion for me,” Petey said. “It’s fine. Nudity shouldn’t be something that you should be that humiliated over anyway,” Andrea said. “Well, it’s really not that,” Petey said. “What is it then?” “I don’t know… It’s just… Dealing with the fact that I have to kill people has been hard enough. But when Kurt forced me with dealing with dirty stuff like that… It just reminded me that I’m never really going to be what I thought I would be,” Petey said. “And what do you think you ought to be?” Andrea asked.


“A cartoon rabbit,” Petey answered. “I didn’t think I would be a murderer. I didn’t think I would be a near-rapevictim. I just thought I would be… a cartoon rabbit,” Petey said. “Well, I can’t argue with the cartoon rabbit or near-rape-victim descriptions, but you’re not a murderer,” Andrea said. “Why not? I kill people; that’s murder. I’m a murderer,” Petey argued. “You know what I’ve noticed while I’ve watched you fight with the others?” Andrea started. Petey looked up. “You only kill those who threaten your friends. You never fight unprovoked. Every single time you’ve killed someone it’s out of self-defense. Need proof? Just look at me. I haven’t threatened your friends, and here I am. Alive,” Andrea said. Petey felt slightly better, but not enough. “It still feels doesn’t like I’m supposed to kill anyone,” Petey said. “Of course it does! No one’s supposed to kill anyone. You’re not supposed to kill anyone, Kurt’s not supposed to kill anyone, Sam’s not supposed to kill anyone… But God is telling you to. My suggestion is to just try to be a good person outside the killings, and I have to say, you’re doing a fine job at that,” Andrea said. “And about the dirty stuff… Well that’s just you becoming human,” Andrea said. Petey smiled. “And besides, you know liked Jessica and Anna on top of you,” Andrea laughed. “Yeah I did,” Petey laughed. “Kurt was just trying to help you. I’ll admit, he was a bit childish. Just remember, when you don’t focus on it, you’ll find someone,” Andrea as she started to stand up. Petey looked up. “Thanks. I needed that,” Petey said, referring to all of Andrea’s words. “No, thank you. It was nice talking to someone for a change. I’m still marked though I assume,” Andrea said. Petey nodded, remembering that Andrea was a demon. “Don’t worry, I’ll do the honors,” Andrea said as she pulled out a knife. “I’ll keep watching you,” Andrea said as she held the knife to her neck. “I’ll try to find some brimstone as well so I can visit you without taking a soul. I do feel bad for all that,” Andrea said as she pressed the knife against her skin. “Now turn around if you don’t want to look.” Petey turned around and closed his eyes just in case. Part 2: Sarah and Chelsea “…I wish you were mine.” The sun gradually brightened Sam and Anna’s room the next morning. Anna woke up first, turning her head and seeing Sam with his arms wrapped around her. Anna smiled and laid her head back down. She soon felt a kiss on her cheek, as Sam woke up. “Morning babe,” Sam said as he lifted himself up. Anna turned on her side towards Sam. “I think Kurt’s up making breakfast,” Anna said. “What time is it?” Sam asked. Anna found her watch. “7:50,” Anna said.


“Nah, he’s still sleeping,” Sam said. “How do you know?” “Kurt always wakes up at 8:30,” Sam said as he lied back down, wrapping his arms back around Anna. The two relaxed, sleeping in as the sun rose across their window. However, both of them felt awake. “You know… We don’t have to wait for Kurt to wake up. We can make breakfast for a change,” Sam suggested, feeling a need to do something. Anna nodded as she sat up. The two sat up on the bed, pondering whether to step out of the bed. “Or we could just make love until 8:30,” Anna suggested bluntly. “I like that idea better,” Sam said as he embraced Anna. “I don’t understand why you went back to sleep on the couch after the kill,” John woke Petey up. Petey was still sleeping on the couch in the living room. Petey was especially groggy, and slept in a strange position, with his legs dangled over the top of the couch. Petey groaned as he tried to wake up. “I was too tired to walk to my room,” Petey forced out. He turned and sat up on the couch. He looked at John, who was sitting in the other chair. “Why are you here?” Petey asked. Throughout the weeks, John visited scarcely, and now Petey had seen John two times in less than twelve hours. “Let me guess, you’re here to scold me for interacting with Andrea?” Petey said, half awake. John didn’t change his expression. “No. I don’t care what happens during a kill, as long as there is a kill,” John said. “So what are you here for? Are you just visiting for fun?” Petey asked, seriously suggesting the ‘fun’ part. “Actually, I have an important announcement for you guys. I’m just waiting for everyone to get out here,” John said. “Oh, well Kurt will get out here 8:30. I don’t know when Anna and Sam will wake up,” Petey said. John interrupted. “Anna and Sam are finishing fucking each other. Sam will climax in 3…2…1. They’ll be out in a minute. Since it’s 8:29, Kurt will come out in 3…2…1,” John counted down. Sure enough, at ‘one,’ Kurt’s door opened. “Morning Kurt,” John said. Kurt walked to the kitchen. “What’s John doing here?” Kurt asked Petey. “Apparently he has some big announcement. I still think he just wants to hang out with us. John, you don’t have to pretend like you need a reason to be here. We’d be glad to spend time with you,” Petey joked as he lied back down. John actually cracked a smile as he continued sitting in his chair. “Morning Sam and Anna,” John said loudly a second before their door opened and they walked out. Sam and Anna looked shocked to see John in the living room. The two walked over into the living room. Anna sat next to Petey, who was lying on the couch with his eyes closed, trying to go back to sleep. Sam stayed standing next to Kurt. “So yeah, announcement time,” John said nonchalantly as he stood up. “We have recruited two more angels,” John said. Everyone except Petey’s eyes widened, while Petey’s stayed closed. “Don’t worry; they aren’t going to be living here, so this loft isn’t getting any more crowded. We’ve situated them in Boston. They have been angels in heaven for quite some time now, so they know the inner workings of the system. They’ll probably be much better at the job. I want you to meet them at their apartment. I’ve put their location


in your minds, so think their names and you’ll teleport there. Their names are Sarah and Chelsea,” John said. “Sarah and Chelsea? Sounds ditsy,” Anna said. “Don’t judge someone by their name,” Petey said without opening his eyes. “Ok, we should get going then,” Kurt said as he walked towards the couch. “On the count of three, we teleport,” Kurt said. “3…2…” “Are we part of the Thunderbirds or something? We don’t need a countdown to teleport,” Petey said cynically as he teleported off. “Wow, he’s grouchy today,” Anna said. “He didn’t get much sleep last night,” John explained. Kurt shrugged his shoulders, and followed Petey. The four ended up on a roof in Boston. Petey was still laying down, this time on the floor of the roof. The sun had risen, and glistened off the silver metal all around the large roof. Kurt and Sam looked around, looking for Sarah or Chelsea. In a moment, two blondes teleported up onto the roof. Sam and Kurt turned around, while Petey kept sleeping. Anna was the closest to the new angels, as she extended her hand to the two. “You must be Chelsea and Sarah,” Anna greeted the two. The two looked remarkably similar, differing only in facial features. The flatter faced angel shook Anna’s hand first. “I’m Sarah, nice to meet you,” Sarah said, as Chelsea greeted herself shortly afterwards. The two angels seemed happy enough to see the angels, but greeted Anna rather coldly. They quickly approached Kurt. “Hello Kurt! I’m Chelsea,” Chelsea quickly greeted herself as Sarah tried to edge herself in. Both the angels seemed much more impressed with Kurt than Anna. They greeted Sam with the same unenthusiastic approach that they had given Anna. However, the two jumped in joy when they saw Petey sleeping on the other side of the roof. They ran over to the rabbit. “Petey! Oh my God, me and Chelsea have been your biggest fans since you were created,” the two new angels continued to rave over Petey, as he woke up delighted to the two voluptuous blondes. “Hello ladies,” he said as the two sat down next to him. The other three were left standing on the other side of the roof, looking at the two blondes and the white rabbit flirt with each other. “What a stud,” Sam said. The angels moved into Chelsea and Sarah’s apartment shortly afterwards. The difference between the blondes’ apartment and the original angels’ apartment was staggering. There were no brick walls, instead white metal walls. The whole apartment was much more modern than the loft in New York. Most of the furniture was black and white, in contrast to the plethora of random colors back in the New York loft. The living room was home to leather couches, a long glass table, and a large television. The cloudy weather didn’t provide much light from the windows, but the light furniture still brightened up the mood in the apartment. Chelsea and Sarah shared the largest couch with Petey, stroking his ears as he lied in their lap. Sam combated Petey by holding Anna in his arms in the adjacent couch. Kurt, on the other hand, sat on the arm of the couch Sam and Anna laid on.


“So John told us you two were already angels,” Kurt said. Sarah looked up and answered. “Yup we’ve resided in heaven for quite some time now,” Sarah said as she looked back down at Petey, who smiled in pleasure. “What made you want to do what we do?” Kurt asked. This time Chelsea answered. “Actually, many angels up there are fighting for this position. God told us that he’s setting up many different AOD headquarters around the world. Apparently this world’s getting worse, resulting in the need for more angels,” Chelsea said. “People up in heaven actually want to do this?” Kurt asked. “Well, yes. Heaven is great and all, but many angels just want the excitement that this system brings. I mean, you get fame in both worlds and you’re considered a hero. Plus, it’s for a good cause; we save people,” Chelsea continued. “Save people? We kill people,” Kurt argued. “You reset their lives. The people you kill are usually going through a miserable life anyway,” Sarah said. “I don’t know… I just think that if I was in heaven, I would stay there,” Kurt said. “You don’t understand who are you up there, do you? You are the most famous angel up there. People watch your every move up there. You’re so many people’s idol up there,” Chelsea said. “They call us angels? I find that funny,” Kurt said. The first impression between Kurt and the blondes wasn’t going so well. A bitter silence spread across the room. That silence was stopped desperately by Petey. “So how famous am I up there?” Petey asked innocently. “You’re the favorite,” Sarah said as the two blonde scratched Petey’s fur. Kurt stood up and signaled that he was going to bathroom. When he reached the bathroom, he instead teleported back onto the roof. He grabbed a joint from his jacket pocket and lit it up, taking in the first puff as long as possible. He sat down and looked off into the foggy sky. The marijuana started having an instant effect on him, calming him down. He closed his eyes for a bit, trying to relax after the conversation with the blondes. “So much for quitting,” John alerted. Kurt opened his eyes. John was standing above Kurt, looking at the gray sky. John kneeled down and took the joint from Kurt and inhaled from it. He gave it back to Kurt. “You know, marijuana has no effect on me, but I still like smoking it because it makes me feel cool,” John said. “What is this, an afterschool special?” Kurt joked bluely. “Why are you being so negative towards Chelsea and Sarah?” John asked. Kurt threw down the joint and stood up. “Because I don’t want anyone else to have to do this shit,” Kurt said. “But they volunteered,” John argued. “Exactly. Somehow you’ve convinced people in heaven that this is some glamorous life. Now everyone wants to come down and kill helpless people? That’s fucked up in my opinion. It scares me that I’ve now become a role model for people up there. I murder people. A role model should not be a murderer,” Kurt argued. “I didn’t convince anyone that this was a glamorous life. They just watched you,” John said.


“Well everyone misinterpreted my life then,” Kurt said as he teleported back into the living room. The blondes were getting along with Sam and Anna, as Kurt walked in while they were laughing about something. Sam greeted Kurt as he came back in. “Kurt, apparently everyone in heaven hates me and Anna, thanks to this rabbit,” Sam laughed. Chelsea and Sarah were laughing as well, now falling in love with the new couple. “You gotta admit, you’re a dick to Petey,” Sarah said. Sam laughed. “Eh, I’ve gotten used to it,” Petey said as everyone laughed again. Kurt killed the jovial attitude of the conversation. “So tell me you two, you don’t feel pain in heaven, do you?” Kurt asked. The laughing stopped. “No, we don’t,” Chelsea answered. “Don’t you think it’s going to be hard to feel it again?” Kurt asked. “Oh please, we know what pain is more than you do Kurt,” Chelsea said, now finally fighting back with Kurt. “Do you now?” Kurt challenged. “Yes. Yes we do. Now I know that you died quickly in a car accident. Hell, you don’t even remember it. Sarah and I? We were beaten and stoned to death. You don’t forget that pain,” Chelsea said. “Stoned? Jesus, when did that all happen?” Sam asked. “1702,” Sarah answered. “You’ve been angels for over 200 years? You both look like you could be cheerleaders,” Kurt said. “Thanks, we try to look as young as possible,” Chelsea said as she styled her hair. Petey laughed from her lap. “You know, he comes off a lot nicer from up there,” Sarah said to Petey about Kurt. “Kurt has a rare condition of male menstruation that comes around in the middle of the month,” Petey joked. Even Kurt laughed a bit at the joke. “It’s fine, he just doesn’t like the AOD system,” Chelsea said. Kurt looked up. “Yeah. That’s exactly it,” Kurt said. The signal… “Well, time for our first kill,” Chelsea said as she sprung up. Everyone in the room sprung up as well and followed the blondes to the room where their own version of The List was. It looked identical to The List back in New York. John was standing next to it. “What a nice sight, both the New York angels and the Boston angels working together on a kill. Just to let you know, you’ll both be receiving a different set of kills each day. A kill on this list will not be on the other list,” John explained. Everyone nodded as they looked at the name on The List. Copycat “Oh Jesus Christ,” Sam said. The blondes knew who the kill was from watching Sam in heaven. “You actually used the name he made up?” Sam asked John.


“You know this guy?” Kurt asked Sam. “Yeah, he has to power to copy himself. He thinks he’s a villain from a comic book,” Sam said. The two turned around to see a completely different Chelsea and Sarah. They had changed to their angelic appearance. Chelsea was pink, while Sarah was yellow. Their weapons, however, were possibly the most distinctive part of their transformation. Sarah held a samurai like sword. In Chelsea’s hands was a large minigun. “She gets a minigun?” Kurt asked John. “We added a few weapons,” John winked back. Kurt shrugged and teleported away, as the other angels followed. They ended up in an abandoned warehouse somewhere in Boston. When the other angels appeared next to Kurt, he asked a question that happened to be on my own mind. “How come all of these kills are always in some conveniently desolate place?” Kurt asked as the demon behind them answered. “Because we demons don’t want to actually hurt anyone… Well at least I don’t,” Copycat said in a snarky laugh from atop a crate. “Nice to see you again, Sam. My stomach’s doing better by the way. I see you brought your friends this time,” the demon said in a disgusting cockiness. “I brought mine too,” the demon said as the copies of himself surrounded the angels. The demon from atop the crate hopped down and slowly walked towards the two new angels, knife in hand. “Oh now what do we have here?” the demon said as he walked towards Chelsea and Sarah. “Looks like God wants to branch out the AOD system. Jesus Christ, is that a minigun?” the demon asked in that creepy bright tone. Chelsea pulled the trigger, blowing holes into the demon and cutting him up to pieces. “Yes, it is,” Chelsea answered afterwards. A copy of the demon approached out of the circle. “Oh now that wasn’t very nice. Do we have to use so much violence all the time?” Copycat said as he struck out towards the angels. Sarah cut him in half with inhuman speed with her sword. “Guess so,” she said. After this, all the copies swarmed towards the angels, each armed with various types of blades. Each angel went into combat. Kurt and Chelsea, who had long distance weapons, teleported to the top of a crate and starting gunning down at the copies of the demon. Sam and Sarah, who had the two different types of swords, rushed into the pile of copies and started slicing away. Sarah had a much quicker approach than Sam, as Sam watched her cut across and kill twice the amount of copies he was killing. Kurt noticed this from his vantage point. “By the way…” Kurt said as he aimed towards copies. “What words did you choose?” he asked, relating to Chelsea and Sarah’s powers. Chelsea kept gunning down with her large weapon. “Sarah chose agility, it gives her the power to move quicker and smoother, if you didn’t already notice,” Chelsea said as she kept her finger down on the trigger. “What did you choose?” Kurt asked. Chelsea’s bullets ripped through more copies. “Grace,” she replied. Petey was down in the battle with Anna. She had gone invisible as she snuck up on various copies. Petey, on the other hand, took a louder approach as he swung his


schwip across, letting it extend wide out and killing loads of copies rushing towards him. However, he was soon surrounded by copies, trapping him. Petey looked up to other side of the building. He drew a black hole on the wall, and another one of the ground. He hopped into the one of the ground, appearing out of the one of the wall, flying into the air. He sliced through the copies as he landed. “Now I’m thinking with portals,” Petey said as he continued fighting. “This isn’t working, we need to kill the original,” Sam said to Sarah as they kept fighting through the never ending group of copies. “How are we going to do that?” Sarah asked. Sam’s eyes went red. “Burn fucking everything,” he said as he held out his hand. He unleashed a wave of fire everywhere. Copies ran in pain, however, smoke filled the room, causing the other angels to be caught up in the flames. “What the fuck, Sam!” Kurt yelled as he teleported out of the warehouse. The other angels followed quickly as they ended up just outside the doors of the warehouse. The whole building was ablaze. The angels heard the cackle of the flame and the crashing of various objects within the building. “Great, how’re we gonna put that fire out?” Kurt said. Petey held out his hands. He summoned a giant bucket full of water, larger than the building itself. The bucket dumped the water onto the building, extinguishing the fire, and soaking the entire building. Petey smiled as the angels looked down at him. “You know, that really shouldn’t have worked,” Kurt said to Petey as he walked back in the warehouse to check to see if Copycat was dead. The other angels followed him. Smoke was still clearing from the warehouse, but a distinctive cough sounded through. One final body walked out of the smoke; Copycat’s original copy. “Shit Sam, little drastic ain’t it?” Copycat said, fanning off smoke around him. His body was badly charred, and he limped towards the angels. “So who’s gonna finish me off? Please don’t tell me it’s the bitch with the minigun,” Copycat said. Sarah looked at Chelsea, nodded, and quickly swiped through the distance to the demon, and sliced him in half from the shoulder. Chelsea approached Sarah afterwards, while the four original AOD’s stood back. “Yeesh, could’ve made it a little less messy,” Chelsea said. After the kill, the angels went back to Chelsea and Sarah’s apartment in Boston. The original angels made an effort to befriend the two new angels after Kurt’s mild spat with them. However, it was Petey who hit it off with the two new angels best. After a half an hour, Petey was sitting in between Chelsea and Sarah, as the three flirted. Chelsea and Sarah were even rubbing Petey’s fur all over his body. “Well at least Petey’s happy,” Anna said to Kurt and Sam, who were eventually off in the background as other three flirted with each other. “Looks like Petey finally found someone… or someones,” Kurt said, looking away from the three on the couch. “Umm… I wouldn’t say that,” Sam said as he pointed to the two women around Petey, who had now joined together in front of Petey, passionately locking lips with each other. Kurt’s eyes widened in shock as he choked up a little. Anna and Sam both laughed, while Petey grinned back at the other three from the couch. Kurt quickly approached the three on the couch.


“Wait, you two are lesbians?” Kurt asked bluntly. “Wow Kurt, you have a horrible ‘gay-dar’,” Petey said. Chelsea and Sarah smiled back at Kurt. “Don’t worry, we’re willing to share with Petey,” Sarah said softly as she and Chelsea approached Petey’s face, as he smiled hugely back. Before anything could happen, Kurt pulled Petey out of the middle of the two women by his ears, causing him to yelp. “Hey!” Petey yelled. “We gotta go, it was awesome meeting you two,” Kurt rushed. “Aww, leave Petey here,” Chelsea said. “Yeah, leave Petey here,” Petey begged as he dangled from Kurt’s grip. Anna and Sam started heading towards Kurt, laughing at Petey. “No, we gotta go,” Kurt said as he rushed towards the door. Petey reached out towards Chelsea and Sarah, who waved sadly from the couch. Petey was only left swinging by his ears as Kurt teleported the two away. Sam and Anna quickly followed. “You just cock-blocked the rabbit,” Sam said to Kurt back at the New York loft. Kurt plopped Petey down on the couch and headed towards the kitchen to make breakfast. “You were really uncomfortable back there, weren’t you? What was up with that?” Anna asked. Sam and Petey looked back at Anna, knowing the answer already. Kurt refused to answer the question, so Petey did for him. “Kurt’s a little homophobic,” Petey said. “What? Kurt, homophobic? I never thought Kurt was intolerant,” Anna said, genuinely surprised. “I’m not intolerant. Homosexuals are completely fine by me… They just make me… uncomfortable,” Kurt said nervously from the kitchen. “I don’t care… I almost got into a three-way, and you ruined it for me,” Petey pouted from the couch. “Worst friend ever,” Sam stated. Part 3: Falling Back to Earth Later that night, the loft was quiet. Anna looked at the clock on the nightstand as it shone 11:35. She looked back down at Sam. She was making love with him, working on top of him. Sam’s eyes were closed as Anna kept pushing. While Anna made an effort to please herself, she saw no emotion from Sam at all. She turned sideways, trying to get some reaction from him. Slowing down, she tried to see if there was any reaction from Sam. She eventually stopped. “Hey, what are you thinking about right now?” Anna said to Sam, whose eyes were still closed. She brought her face closer to Sam, and closed her lips around his. He didn’t open back. She sat back up. “Hey, what’s wrong?” she asked worriedly. Sam didn’t respond. Anna looked closer into Sam’s face. She then pushed back, annoyed. “You bastard, you’re asleep,” she said as she took herself off of Sam. She sat up on the side of the bed, fastening up her bra and shirt. She stood up and approached the door.


“Who the fuck falls asleep during sex?” she asked herself as she left the room. The whole loft was dark and silent. Anna walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, not thinking about exactly what she wanted. In the fridge was a wide range of vibrators. She closed the fridge door, and leaned against the counter. She felt a strange breeze coming from behind. She turned around and saw that the window in the living room was open, letting in the open air. She walked towards it to close it, and saw that the window led to the fire escape, which led to the roof. Feeling curious, she decided to walk out the window and onto the rough metal staircase. Cold air hit Anna by surprise as she climbed the stairs to the roof. The lights around gave an orange color that shimmered off the dull gray handles she held onto. The bottom of the sky was misty and foggy, but as she looked up into the sky, it was clear and pitch-black. Stars shimmered all over the sky as Anna reached the top of the roof. She looked down the roof, and on the left side of the roof was something new. Anna hadn’t gone on the roof much, but she was sure that there was a hand-drawn hammock hanging from two air vents. It swung slightly as a rabbit’s head poked out from it. Petey instantly noticed Anna as she smiled and walked towards the new hammock. “You like it? I drew it myself,” Petey said as he leaned back into the hammock, arms around his head. “Come on, it’s really comfy,” Petey said as he shifted over. Anna let herself fall onto the hammock as it swung gently side to side. She took Petey and placed him on her chest, holding him tight as she looked up to the stars. “It’s kind of cold up here,” Anna said. Petey drew up a blanket upon them as Anna giggled slightly. “So how was the show tonight?” Anna asked. “It was pretty good, but for some reason I’m becoming the ‘straight man’ in these acts, which I don’t think was the original plan. But hey, anything for comedy, I guess,” Petey answered. “So are Kurt and Jessica asleep then?” Anna asked. “Nah, they’re still at the club.” “Why aren’t you there as well?” “They were getting drunk, and to me drunkenness is a repetitive joke that, while being very funny the first time, gets old very fast,” Petey said. “Where’s Sam?” Petey asked. “He’s asleep,” Anna answered quickly. “Why aren’t you asleep with him?” Petey asked. Anna paused. Petey turned his head around to Anna, waiting for the answer. “Well, he fell asleep during sex,” Anna said. Petey burst out laughing. “You mean after sex? Or like… during sex?” Petey asked in disbelief. “During sex, he was still inside me and everything,” Anna replied as Petey burst out into a louder laugh. “No way,” Petey said. Anna nodded. “I’m sorry,” Petey said as he kept laughing. When he finally calmed down, he asked Anna a more serious question. “With Sam’s narcoleptic sex patterns aside, how are you and Sam doing?” Petey asked. Anna paused as she looked up to the stars. “I don’t know… I think our time is up now,” Anna answered somberly. “What do you mean ‘your time is up’?” Petey asked.


“It’s just… We both don’t seem to be trying hard enough. I’m sure it’s as much of my fault as it is his,” Anna said as Petey turned over on his stomach. “What you mean ‘you’re not trying hard enough’?” Petey asked. “I don’t know… It just seems like, yeah sex is good enough and everything and I like Sam a lot, but I don’t know if either of us is trying hard enough to make this relationship work,” Anna said. “To be perfectly honest, I wish you wouldn’t write it off so quickly like that,” Petey said. “‘Write it off so quickly?’ Do you think this is just some random thought? I’ve been thinking about this for a while now,” Anna said. “I just wish you would think about it more,” Petey said. “Really? You want me and Sam to stay together? Do you realize that Sam still hates you? Don’t think he feels any better about you just because he hasn’t said anything aloud. He still talks shit about you in bed. That’s one of things that really pisses me off about him,” Anna said. “Well I just want to see you happy, does he make you happy?” Petey asked. “I don’t know,” Anna replied softly. “Well, that’s better than ‘no’,” Petey said optimistically. “Ok, I’ll think it over, it just doesn’t seem like either of us are trying hard enough,” Anna said. The two paused for a few moments until Anna changed the subject. “Hey, did you two talk about Chelsea and Sarah at all during the show?” Anna asked cheerfully. “Nah, Kurt never likes to mix our two jobs together,” Petey said. “You and those two were really flirting, weren’t you?” Anna asked mischievously. Petey laughed. “Yeah we kind of were,” Petey said. “Now tell me the truth, would you actually go to bed with those two?” Anna asked. “Yes, in a heartbeat,” Petey answered without thought. The two laughed, knowing that Petey was being honest. “Wow, you’ve gotten more comfortable with sex then, haven’t you?” Anna said. “I guess that’s just me becoming a little more human,” Petey replied, remembering Andrea. The two talked for the rest of the night until they started dozing off on the hammock. The two fell asleep on the hammock in the cold night. Outside, they slept as dew formed upon their faces. The night went by quickly in their minds as Anna woke up first. Anna looked up, hearing birds chirp as she lifted her head. The sun was just rising, so the air was still a grayish-blue color. The air was cold as she shifted off the hammock. She gently moved Petey off her body, knowing he was a light sleeper. She managed not to fully wake him up as she stepped off the hammock. She walked to the fire escape and down back into the loft. The living room was completely empty as she walked through. She went back into her room, seeing Sam still fast asleep in their bed. In contrast to Petey, Sam was an extremely heavy sleeper. She made no effort to be quiet as she plopped back into the bed with Sam.


Petey woke up in the hammock around two hours later. He looked around to see that Anna was no longer with him. Instead of actually walking down the fire escape as Anna had done, he instead teleported down into the living room and onto the couch, so he wouldn’t have to actually change his position. He checked the time, 8:28. Kurt would wake up in two minutes. So Petey proceeded to make a hangover-be-gone shake for Kurt, knowing that Kurt was probably smashed from the night before. Sure enough, when Kurt and Jessica came out of their room two minutes later, they both looked like shit. Jessica’s hair was completely haywire, while Kurt’s eyes were only half open. Petey passed the drink to Kurt with an annoyed face. “You know, if I keep making you these each morning, you’ll never learn your lesson,” Petey said as Kurt laughed and drank up. Jessica even tried it, admitting it to be tasty in a strange way. “Thanks again, Petey,” Kurt said as the drink provided an instant remedy for the two’s hangover. Kurt walked into the kitchen to prepare breakfast as Jessica picked up Petey and took him over to the couch. She laid herself down with Petey, petting him as she turned on the television. “Hey babe, I think I smell some breakfast,” Sam said softly into Anna’s ear. Anna replied with a snarling groan. Sam turned over in their bed and sat upright. He looked back at Anna, who slept on her stomach with her mouth open in an extremely unappealing way. However, Sam couldn’t help but smile. Sam dressed himself and walked out to the kitchen. He waved to Kurt as he looked into the living room. He saw his target and instantly walked over. As he walked by the couch, he grabbed Petey by the ears and walked towards the door at the other side of the room. “Hey! Oww!” Petey said as Sam carried him into the room. The room formed into a simple white room with a comfy, padded single chair and a rough, wooden stool facing each other. Sam dropped Petey onto the stool as he sat on the padded chair. “I need to talk to you, rabbit,” Sam said as Petey rubbed his ears. “Yeah? About what?” Petey said, extremely annoyed. “You’re Anna’s best friend, right?” Sam asked. “I guess you can say so,” Petey said, still curious why Sam was talking to him. “And you would do anything to see her be happy, right? Even if it was with a guy like me,” Sam said. Petey instantly knew what the conversation would be about as he interrupted Sam. “She thinks you two don’t try hard enough to make your relationship work,” Petey said bluntly as Sam was taken aback. “‘Try hard enough?’ What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Sam asked. “Beats me, that’s just what she told me last night,” Petey said. “When did you talk to her last night?” Sam asked suspiciously. “After you fell asleep during sex, nice going, by the way,” Petey said. “I guess we might not be trying hard enough,” Sam admitted. “Honestly, the fact that you’re talking to me about this is showing enough effort. Let’s face it; we don’t exactly like each other. I mean, you’re kind of a deebag,” Petey said. “And you’re not real,” Sam snapped back casually.


“Fair enough, but despite our differences I do know that Anna loves you, and I don’t want you two to fall apart like this,” Petey said honestly. “How do you know that Anna loves me? Did she say so to you?” Sam asked. “No, but anyone that’s willing to sleep with a person like you must love you a whole lot,” Petey said. “Very funny. Now how do I fix this?” Sam asked. “You need to make Anna feel like she’s loved. When’s the last time you said that you loved her?” Petey asked. “Er… We haven’t actually said the ‘L-word’,” Sam admitted. Petey sighed. “Well, do you love her?” Petey asked. “I think so,” Sam answered unsurely. “Good enough. Well, saying ‘I love you’ will probably be a good way of making her feel loved, but I don’t know, I might just be going out on a limb here,” Petey said. “Well I can’t just say that I love her, it needs to be special,” Sam said. “Ah now we’re getting somewhere. Special, eh? What can you do that’s special?” Petey asked. “Umm… I don’t know,” Sam said. Petey put his head into his hands and sighed. “You can write, Sam. You can write,” Petey said, frustrated. “Write what?” Sam asked. “Write anything! Anna loves it when you write her stuff,” Petey said. “I don’t know if that’s true,” Sam said. “How do you know that?” Petey asked. Sam paused. Petey looked confused. “Well?” Petey continued. “I don’t want to say,” Sam said. “What? Why not?” Petey asked. Sam mumbled.
“I write her a poem every morning,”

“What?” “I write her a poem every morning,” Sam admitted. Petey’s eyes widened as his ears fell. “Really?” “Yes.” “That’s really sweet,” Petey said sincerely. “Hey, don’t start,” Sam snapped back. “No, that’s actually really nice. I’m surprised Anna doesn’t think you’re trying hard enough,” Petey said. “I don’t think she likes them. She just reads them, forces a smile, and goes on with her day,” Sam said. “Oh course she likes them. It’s a sign that you care,” Petey said. “But does she want me to care? If she doesn’t love me back, it doesn’t matter how hard I try, my efforts will only cause more pity,” Sam said sullenly. “And now we have an even bigger problem on our hands. Are you doubting that she loves you now?” Petey asked. “I guess so,” Sam said. “Well then, you need to find a way to figure out if she truly does love you,” Petey said. “How am I going to do that?” Sam asked.


“Get a flower and pull the petals, I don’t know,” Petey said as he stood up and walked to the door. “Do you think she loves me?” Sam asked worriedly. “Again, anyone willing to actually sleep with you must love you a whole lot,” Petey said as he walked out. Sam looked down to his feet, pondering how he would find out if Anna loved him or not. Hours passed unnoticed. The living room was empty until Anna filled in the space as she teleported in. She looked at the clock, which read somewhere after noon. She looked around for any sign of life, only hearing faint laughter coming from Kurt and Jessica’s room. She slowly walked over to their door. “Hey, are you guys doing something I don’t want to see, or can I come in?” Anna asked from outside the door. “Depends,” Kurt called back with a cough. Anna opened the door anyway. Kurt and Jessica were around a bong, smoking marijuana. They sat on the floor with their legs crossed next to each other. Anna smirked and walked to them and sat down. “A little early to be getting high isn’t it?” Anna said as she took the water pipe from Jessica’s hand to smoke a little herself. “Don’t tell Petey or Sam, they get pissed at me when I get high,” Kurt said. “Yeah, Sam keeps bragging on how he got you to quit. So much for that,” Anna laughed. “Where is Sam, anyway?” Jessica asked. “We went out for a bit, and got swarmed by a crowd. He seemed to like be the center of attention, so I left him there,” Anna said. “I saw Sam talking to Petey today. That’s probably the first time they’ve talked like… ever,” Jessica said. “Oh God, poor Petey. Sam was probably forcing him to help our relationship,” Anna said. “What’s wrong with you and Sam?” Kurt asked quickly. “I can just tell we’re going to break up soon. There’s just nothing there, you know?” Anna said. “Not really. Why are you going to break up?” Kurt asked. “I just don’t think we love each other, simple as that,” Anna said. “You two seem fine to me,” Kurt said. “Do we?” “Yeah, and if Sam’s making an effort for the relationship to keep going, then something must be there,” Kurt said. “Honestly, I wish he wouldn’t make any more of an effort. It only makes it hurt more,” Anna said. “Give him a chance. You may find something eventually,” Kurt said. Anna stood up. “I shouldn’t have to wait,” Anna said as she walked out. She looked around the kitchen. What she was really looking for was Petey. She had been thinking all morning about something, and needed to tell him before she went on. She thought where he may be, until she finally realized where he was. Anna teleported to the roof. Sure enough, Petey was taking a nap in his hammock. He was woken up by Anna’s footsteps as she walked over. Petey looked up as Anna hovered over him. He didn’t move, instead watched Anna as she started to speak.


“I’m ending it with Sam tonight,” Anna said softly. Petey didn’t change to the statement as Anna thought he would. Anna waited for Petey to respond, but instead he kept staring sadly into Anna’s eyes. She kept waiting for him to say something; anything. Petey was silent, as Anna changed her look of worry to a look of annoyance. She started to walk away. “As we fall to earth, we fall in pairs…” Petey started. Anna stopped and turned around. “Burning through the atmosphere in the air The other end of my pair is the one who I care Who I love, who I idolize; it isn’t fair That the one who finishes my pair Is slowly falling away from me But I won’t let her become lost Become frost Evaporating in the stratosphere I hear Her cry as she falls alone As I fall, I change my line All these pairs I wish you were mine…” Petey recited. Anna looked on from far away. She walked over, seeing a piece of paper in Petey’s hands. “Sam wrote it this morning. Are all his poems this good?” Petey asked. Anna remained silent as she stood over Petey as he lied on the hammock. “You know what I think, Anna? I don’t think this isn’t Sam’s fault at all. I think he’s trying hard enough. I think it’s you who’s not trying hard enough,” Petey said. “Why are you trying so hard to keep me and Sam together?” Anna asked. “Because I’ve been watching Sam through Kurt’s eyes all my life, and I know that he doesn’t deserve this. He loves you, and I’m not going to let you hurt him,” Petey said sternly. Anna stepped back in surprise. “And I’ve seen others hurt Sam, and I don’t want to see you do the same. Especially when I know that you really don’t want to,” Petey continued. “And I know you love so many things about him, even if you don’t want to bring yourself to admit it.” “I do love his poems,” Anna said softly. “So why are you being so difficult?” Petey asked quickly. “I don’t know,” Anna started. “I guess I’m just afraid that I actually do love him,” Anna finished quietly. “You’re lucky you found someone like Sam to love,” Petey said. Anna bowed her head. “But you deserve him, and he deserves you,” Petey finished. “Thanks, Petey,” she said softly. Petey smiled. “Glad to see you’re thinking about it,” Petey said as he leaned back into the hammock. Anna stood over Petey for a few seconds, as silence hovered over. “It seems unfair that you make all this effort to fix me and Sam when you don’t have someone for your own,” Anna said. “Oh don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine,” Petey winked. He pulled out a small card and flinged it to Anna as he teleported away. Anna caught the card and read it.


“Petey, Meet us at our house at 12:30 Love, Chelsea and Sarah” Part 4: Hard Love and Easy Threesomes Of course, a little speech from Petey wouldn’t just convince Anna that she loved Sam the way she did. In fact, I think that Anna just loved hearing the poem come out from Petey’s mouth. But ultimately, she decided to try to make Petey happy. As the sun starting adjusting to the afternoon, Anna teleported back into the living room. Sam was sitting on the couch watching television. Anna smiled and sat next to him. “See you escaped the crowd out there,” Sam said as he wrapped his arm around Anna. “I was feeling claustrophobic. Glad to see you interact a bit though,” Anna said. Sam turned off the volume on the television. On the screen was some old black-andwhite romantic movie. Anna couldn’t distinguish which movie it was, but she saw Sam turn to her. “So you want to hear your poem for today?” Sam asked romantically, smiling into Anna’s eyes. Anna smiled slightly, knowing the poem already. Anna forced a smile as Sam began. “As we fall to earth, we fall in pairs,” he started. Even though Petey had recited the poem before, coming from Sam it felt like an entirely new poem. Anna’s look of indifference quickly changed to absolute obsession as Sam continued reciting his poem from memory. “…I wish you were mine,” Sam finished. Anna grabbed Sam’s face and pressed her lips against his. One long kiss told Sam that Anna had changed her mind. When she finally pulled away, the two smiled at each other. “I love you,” Anna said softly. “I love you too,” Sam said as Anna leaned against Sam gently. As the sun set, it turned the room into a purple space. The two didn’t speak for a while, just enjoying each other’s company. Meanwhile, as Sam and Anna romanced back at the loft, Petey found himself in between Chelsea and Sarah under the sheets. Their clothes littered the floor below them. The two women rubbed Petey’s chest as he smiled hugely. Hell of a way to lose one’s virginity, if you ask me. Episode Eleven: Angels of the Silences Part 1: Worst Friend Ever No, I am not going to share any details about Petey’s threesome, you sick bastards.


On all accounts, I censored the act anyway. Not because I thought it was wrong or distasteful, but because I knew it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t. I censored when Kurt and Jessica or Sam and Anna made love, so I did the same for Petey. Simply for his privacy (I learned later that he really didn’t give a shit). Funny thing, though; almost every angel instantly begged me to take off the censor while it was happening live. Curiosity can be a very ugly thing sometimes. “So you lost your virginity in a threesome?” Kurt asked Petey the next day after Petey had told him the story. The two were on the roof of the loft. Petey in his hammock, Kurt in a beach chair next to him. The sun hung high slightly after noon as the two sunbathed outside on a late summer noon. “I guess I did, didn’t I?” Petey said nonchalantly. The two wore cheap black sunglasses as they stared into the sunny sky. The weather was hot and sticky, but the two found ways to keep themselves cool. “Normally, I would instantly high five you and ask all about it; but seeing that you’re my best friend, I have to say I’m a little disappointed you didn’t lose it in a more meaningful and mature way,” Kurt said. “Oh it was pretty mature,” Petey said. “How did it work anyway? I mean, Chelsea and Sarah are in love with each other, not you,” Kurt asked. “That’s the beauty of it. Yes, they are in love with each other, so they just added me for fun. We did it, talked for a while, and agreed to do it again sometime,” Petey said. “So basically you were their living, breathing sex toy?” Kurt asked. “I guess you can say that,” Petey said calmly. “And you’re fine with that?” Kurt asked, turning on his head towards Petey. “Yup.” “Yeah I’d be perfectly fine with that too,” Kurt joked as he lied back down. “But the problem is that it doesn’t mean anything. You three are just fucking around,” Kurt argued. “And what’s wrong with that? Weren’t you the one who pushed all those random girls onto me that other night?” Petey asked. “Yeah but I did it one at a time!” Kurt said. “Ah so that’s it, you’re just a homophobe, I remember,” Petey said as he relaxed back. “I’m not a homophobe, I just think sex should be meaningful,” Kurt said. “When the bras came off, I didn’t care if it was meaningful or not,” Petey said. “Damn it Petey, now you’ve got an image in my head that I will never get out,” Kurt said as he closed his eyes tightly. “Mission accomplished,” Petey said, shooting the skies with his fingers. The two heard someone coming from the fire escape as the metal clanged. Anna came up from the stairs, who climbed up and walked towards the two. “Oh God, what the fuck?” Anna asked as she looked down at Kurt and covered her eyes. Both Kurt and Petey were stark naked as they lied down in the sun. The two stayed unmoving through Anna’s shock. “Is that the reaction you always have when you see a penis?” Kurt asked. Anna opened her eyes and looked further down at Kurt and smirked.


“Seriously though, why are you two naked?” Anna asked. “Don’t look at me, it was his idea,” Kurt said as he pointed to Petey. “Feels good, man,” Petey said. “Indeed. Care to join us Anna?” Kurt asked smugly. “I still don’t know what Jessica sees in you,” Anna said. “What girl doesn’t want a pasty, flabby white guy?” Kurt joked as he put his arms around his head. Anna walked over to Petey. “You’re disgusting,” Anna said as Petey moved over in his hammock to let Anna in. Anna fell onto the hammock, taking Petey upon her lap. “So let me get this straight, you’re repulsed by a nude human body, but have no problem letting a naked animated rabbit lay on you?” Kurt asked. “She’s not repulsed by a naked human body; she’s repulsed by your naked human body. As for me, I’m just obviously attractive,” Petey said proudly. Kurt sneered at Petey’s humorous confidence, and paused for a moment. He finally spoke again, trying to shock Anna. “That dick right there was stuck into two different pussies less than twelve hours ago,” Kurt told Anna. Instead of being offended as Kurt had thought she would be, Anna laughed instead. “No way, you actually got it with the two lesbians?” Anna asked. Kurt groaned. “Jesus Christ, am I the only one who doesn’t think this is some sort of accomplishment?” Kurt said. “Yes,” said both Petey and Anna at the same time. “It’s meaningless sex. I thought you’d be above that,” Kurt said. “Says the guy who tried to hook me up using a bottle,” Petey said. “Answer me this, Petey. Do you honestly like Chelsea and Sarah? You’ve only known them for a day, yet you get in bed with them and fuck both of them as if you had some sort of duty to fulfill for them,” Kurt ranted. “Yes I like them, Kurt. They’ve been able to get into heaven, so they apparently must be good people. Besides that, I find them to be nice, funny, and enjoyable to be around. So I really don’t give a crap what you say,” Petey said. “Yes, sex can often be nice, funny, and enjoyable,” Kurt said. “That’s not why I like them, Kurt. Yes, we did it, big deal. There’s so much more to this than that,” Petey argued. “Really? What’s their last name?” Kurt asked. Petey paused, knowing he did not know the answer. “Or did you not know while you were fucking them?” Kurt said in a humorously exaggerated fashion. “He’s just jealous,” Anna said to Petey. “Pfft, he’s not jealous. He’s just confused because I did something he didn’t think I would do,” Petey said. Kurt smiled. “Exactly. I just thought you would make more of an effort to find someone you truly cared for before fucking two people who barely know,” Kurt said. “Who says I don’t care for Chelsea and Sarah? Maybe I just showed my care by taking up their offer when they asked me to serve as... er,” Petey started. “Their sex toy,” Kurt finished. “Fair enough, but I enjoyed it anyways. So I really don’t care how you feel about it,” Petey said.


“Fine, now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to having long, meaningful sex with Jessica, goodbye,” Kurt said as he stood up and teleported away. “Wow, he’s being a douchebag today,” Anna said. “Eh, he’s just thinking of the way he lost his virginity,” Petey said as he closed his eyes. “How did that happen?” “When he was sixteen, he did it with some drunk girl at a party. Horrible experience, he didn’t actually…er…” Petey said, not able to finish the sentence. “Climax,” Anna finished. “Right. Anyways, he always regretted not doing it in a more…er… memorable way,” Petey finished. “So how was the sex with the lesbians? I mean, not many guys can say they’ve been in a threesome,” Anna asked Petey. “It felt strangely casual, but nonetheless still pretty amazing,” Petey said. “I still don’t get how it works though. I mean, did they like… take turns with you or something?” Anna asked. Petey looked up in a mildly annoyed fashion. “Yes, Anna, they passed me around like a bong,” Petey said sarcastically. Anna laughed and then stayed silent for a few seconds. “You know, further looking into that metaphor, it makes me wonder what they put their mouths on to inhale,” Anna joked. “Oh that’s gross,” Petey laughed. “You see, I really can’t imagine you having sex. I mean, you can’t even say a fucking curse word,” Anna started. “What? Is it amazing that I can have sex without saying the ‘f-word?’” Petey asked. “Kind of, actually. But seriously, how do you…do it?” Anna said. Petey looked down. “Would you like me to show you?” Petey joked. “No thank you, but you are a rabbit. How did you get those two to look past the fact that they were essentially fucking an animal?” Anna said. Petey looked down again. “I’m not an animal, I’m a cartoon,” Petey replied. “Still seems a little ‘furry’ to me. So how long did it take you guys to start fucking each other?” Anna asked. “Well, I came in, they grabbed me, threw me on the bed… So about six seconds,” Petey said. “I guess you’re just irresistible,” Anna said. “Tell me about it. So did how’d things go with Sam last night?” Petey asked as Anna smiled. “I think I fell in love with him last night,” Anna said cheerfully. “Oh great, so where is Sam anyway?” Petey asked. “I don’t know,” Anna said. “Well, it’s nice to see how inseparable you two are now,” Petey joked. “Come on, let’s go find him,” Anna said as she stood up as Petey followed. Part 2: The Dickbong “So he fucked the two lesbians,” Kurt told the story to Jessica back at The Act. “And you’re upset by that?” Jessica asked.


“Well yeah. Those two don’t love him, they’re just using him,” Kurt said. “And what if he wants to be used?” Jessica replied. “I just think sex should be meaningful,” Kurt said. Jessica looked down. “Umm Kurt, we’re having sex backstage in a bunch of curtains,” Jessica said. Kurt and Jessica were in the mess of curtains backstage at The Act. The curtains and the lack of lighting in the area hid the two making love. “Well that’s ok because I love you,” Kurt said as he kissed Jessica. Jessica pulled away. “But seriously. Don’t give Petey too hard of a time about this. He’s free to do what he wants to,” Jessica said. “Fine, but I’m still going to make fun of him,” Kurt said. “Seriously, lay off of him,” Jessica said as her face approached Kurt’s. “Never,” Kurt replied playfully. Jessica smiled seductively. “Oh pretty please?” Jessica said softly. “Fine,” Kurt said after a pause. Jessica quickly stood up, leaving Kurt on the floor. “Good. Now get dressed, you have a show in an hour,” Jessica said formally as she left briskly. “Love you too, babe,” Kurt said as he was left alone sitting in the curtains. “So I still don’t understand how you three did it,” Anna said as Petey lied on the couch. “Do I need to physically show you how it’s done?” Petey asked. “No, I’m just curious,” Anna said. Petey tried to change the subject. “I like how we looked for Sam for six seconds and then gave up and laid down,” Petey said. “I’m sure he’s fine,” Anna said. “Fucking die already!” Sam yelled as he chased a demon through the sewer pipes of New York. The signal had gone off fifteen minutes ago, only Sam felt it. Animal Sam saw the name on The List and knew instantly he was fighting a demon. The self-given name was quite suitable for the demon as well, as he flipped around the green sewers below the concrete world. It had already inflicted a few wounds from Sam’s blades, but didn’t seem affected by them. A three-way intersection between the pipes was approaching as the chase continued. The demon bolted left, jumping on the sides of the pipes in an attempt to confuse Sam. It didn’t work, as Sam followed by quickly teleporting. When he saw Animal in his sights, Sam teleported straight in front of him, swinging his blades across towards the demon. With inhuman reflexes, the demon dodged this attack by quickly stopping and twisting his spine. As it seemingly slid past Sam, it continued its run down the sewers. “Shit this guy’s annoying,” Sam muttered as he chased after the demon. Clenching his fists, Sam summoned a wall of flame on the path the demon ran on. The


demon quickly stopped and turned to Sam. Pouched on all fours, the demon opened its mouth, giving a snarling growl towards Sam. “No running now,” Sam said to the demon. The demon quickly jerked its head forward and charged towards Sam. As the demon bounced off the walls, Sam teleported back and pushed his swords back. The demon found Sam within a second and charged to his new position. Sam smirked with his blades on the ground as the demon quickly galloped towards him. As the demon charged only feet away from him, Sam teleported into the air, letting his blades lower below him. With the speed the demon was running, it was impossible to avoid the sharp swords floating in the air. The two blades cut Animal into three slices of his former self. “You should really watch where you’re going,” Sam said to the corpse of the demon. Sam checked his shoes, which were soaking in the sewer water. Sam teleported home with disgust. He arrived in the living room, where Anna and Petey were sitting around. Anna quickly turned towards Sam. “You smell like shit, where have you been?” Anna asked impulsively. “In the sewers,” Sam said nonchalantly as he walked to his room. “Eh, I better follow him,” Anna said as she went with Sam to his room. Petey saw Anna run off as he looked at the clock. If he left for The Act now, he would be too early. He decided to just teleport there anyway, knowing Kurt and Jessica were already there. “It smells like weed and lost hope in here,” Petey said when he arrived in the dressing room at The Act. Kurt was laying on the couch, eyes closed, as he drifted along in his mind. “Probably because I took a couple of bong hits,” Kurt said, eyes still closed. “You know how unfunny you are when you’re high?” Petey asked as he sat down in the single chair. “Lies, everyone knows I’m much funnier when I’m stoned. Everyone’s funnier when they’re stoned,” Kurt said with a passive voice. “No, you only think you’re funny because you’re stoned, when in reality, you’re just annoying the hell out of everyone,” Petey said. “You know I do most of our shows while I’m baked?” Kurt asked. “Yes, that’s why my job’s so hard,” Petey said as he closed his eyes. “Wait, are we still pissed at each other?” Kurt asked Petey, confused by his high. “Probably,” Petey said. Kurt extended his hand. “Truce?” Kurt offered. Petey shook Kurt’s hand. “Truce. I suppose I pissed you off with Chelsea and Sarah and you pissed me off with smoking. I guess we’re even,” Petey said. “See? Two wrongs do make a right,” Kurt laughed. Petey turned his head and saw something on the counter. He instantly stood up and walked over to it. “That’s it, you’re not allowed to make fun of me anymore,” Petey started. Kurt sat up to see what Petey was talking about. In Petey’s hand was Kurt’s new bong, which was shaped like a giant dildo. “Seriously?” Petey said. “Hey, don’t insult the ‘dickbong,’” Kurt said. “Why would you even want to smoke this?” Petey asked with disgust.


“I don’t know. Jessica had it and for some reason it gives the smoothest hits,” Kurt said. Petey looked at the dickbong, inspecting it a he turned it around in his hands. “Yeah... no. I’m bringing this on stage,” Petey said as he headed for the door, dickbong in hand. “No! Wait,” Kurt said as he fell off the couch. Sure enough, the dickbong made its way onto stage, creating an outrageous opening punchline at Kurt’s expense. Other than that, the show was nothing out of the ordinary. Kurt never mentioned Petey’s relationship with the two lesbians, and Petey didn’t dare to bring it up anywhere around Kurt. Anna and Sam found their ways into the audience, after one long shower for Sam. There were also two other special crowd members that Kurt and Petey couldn’t see. “Are you happy now?” Kurt asked Petey as they headed back stage after the set, holding the dickbong. “Very,” Petey responded with a smile as they reached their dressing room. When he opened the door, he was quickly greeted by the women hiding in the room. Chelsea picked up Petey and kissed him over and over again on his cheeks, with Sarah close behind. “There he is,” they said cutely. As Kurt came in, even he cracked a smile as Petey was in the hold on two horny lesbians, much to his enjoyment. “Come on, let’s go,” Sarah said softly into Petey’s ear. Petey smiled back, but then turned his head to Kurt. He was spacing out for the first few seconds, but smiled and winked at Petey, providing the first approval from Kurt in a long time. The three teleported away just as Jessica came in. Kurt sat down on the couch, dickbong still in hand. Jessica smiled and sat down in Kurt’s arms. “So you’re not mad at him anymore?” Jessica asked, concerning Petey. “Nah, still a little grossed out. But I’m happy for him,” Kurt said. “Really? What changed your mind?” Jessica asked. Kurt looked at the object in his hand. “The dickbong,” Kurt said. Jessica had a knee-jerk reaction, as she sat up to the look at the phallic object. “What?” Jessica asked in disbelief. “I guess I just realized that there are things that we find flawed about the ones we are close to. But the ability to find something funny about that flaw really is really rather beautiful,” Kurt explained. “So making fun of your friends is beautiful?” Jessica asked. “Yes, because comedy is the true source of love.” Part Three: Meanwhile, in Purgatory… Now, of course, I created the AOD system due to the dismantlement of Hell. Because of the deletion of Hell, there were possibilities of holes between those who were still going through the cycle on Earth and those who had failed the cycle already. But where were the demons when they were not a parasite to a human body? The simple answer was Purgatory. Purgatory was honestly not the formal name of the area between heaven and the late Hell, but so many people have already become accustomed to that name that I


decided to just keep it. While Kurt and Sam were AOD’s, about 3900 souls resided in purgatory. Most of them couldn’t decide whether they liked Hell better. But I made purgatory a much different place than Hell. Hell was an entirely new world from Earth. I created it under special conditions in order to house the demons that would inhabit it. Purgatory was just a copy of Earth with only 3900 people. Every building, meadow, and landmark was the same as the real Earth, even relating to new construction and changes that the real Earth faced. Hypothetically, if a nuclear war had destroyed North America in the real Earth, then I guess there would no longer be a North America in Purgatory. Loneliness was the main difference between Earth and Purgatory. With only 3900 souls, most demons lived alone. There were, however, gangs and groups of demons that stuck together. They didn’t last long. I guess I was right about certain souls just being fucking evil. Physical pain was nowhere to be seen in Purgatory. Demons were able to teleport all around Purgatory. I even gave them their own ‘special power’ to enjoy. I don’t know why I did that. Maybe to give the AOD’s more of a challenge. Maybe because I’m like Sam, and I want to see the world as a comic book with the good guys and the bad guys fighting each other, each with their own supernatural ability. When I told John this, he told me I was the most selfish person he’s ever met. I smiled because he called me a person. To this day (February 28th, 2180), my desire to make the world a comic book has cost: 5.3 million deaths 4,342 lost souls 109 AOD’s 2 wars And an unstable connection between Earth and myself. Oops. Meanwhile, in Purgatory, in Purgatory’s version of England, a lone demon walked the empty streets. She wore a hood to hide her face and walked quickly into a specific pub. As she opened the door quickly, she tried not to show shock when a deep, disgustingly-accented demon scolded at her. “Back off bitch, this soul’s mine,” the demon snarled at her. Demons were able to take over souls at the area they existed in within the real Earth. When a soul is truly weak, a hole will open in Purgatory at the place where the soul stands. The first demon to enter that hole takes over the body. How did the demon’s know which souls were slated to become weak? They watched the real world. “I’m not here to take away your fucking soul. Are you ‘Cleaver?’” asked the woman demon. “Aye,” said the other demon.


“I heard you know where some brimstone is,” the woman demon said. She pulled her hood off. Her black hair fell onto her shoulders. There stood the only demon with a friend, Andrea. “Ah, Andrea. I thought I’d be seeing you soon,” Cleaver said. He walked towards the bar in the pub. On the television was Petey, talking in bed with the two lesbians. “You’re watching the AOD’s?” Andrea asked as she walked towards the television. “Of course I am. Tonight, I’m going to kill the two dykes,” Cleaver said with pride, pointing at Chelsea and Sarah on the screen. Andrea didn’t show any reaction to Cleaver’s statement, but was still curious. “What about the rabbit?” she asked. “Well, I know how much you like the rabbit, so I’m going to let him live,” Cleaver said. “Aww how sweet,” Andrea said sarcastically. “I am going to take a souvenir though,” Cleaver started. “And what will that be?” Andrea asked. Cleaver took a butcher knife, his signature weapon. “His dick,” Cleaver said. Andrea wasn’t impressed. “Classy,” she said as she turned her head towards the television screen. “That’s right. I’m going to chop off his whole pecker and take it home with me. You know everything you have in your hand when you die comes back with you,” Cleaver said. “And why do you want a rabbit wang, I thought the foot was the lucky part,” Andrea asked. Cleaver pointed to the television screen. “Because anyone that can pull it out of one pussy and put it in another within seconds doesn’t deserve to have it anymore,” he said. “You’re just jealous because he’s getting action and you’re stuck in here with the worst souls imaginable,” Andrea said darkly. “Enough about that though, where can I find brimstone?” Andrea continued. Cleaver laughed. “Well, you ain’t going to be finding any here in Purgatory. But there are places around Earth where you can find some,” Cleaver said. “Yes we know that, but where did the others get it?” Andrea asked. “Well, they brought that from Hell before it was destroyed. They’ve used up the last of that though. However, I have seen some on Earth while watching souls. As you may know, brimstone is a form of sulfur. So in places where there is sulfur, there may be traces of brimstone as well,” Cleaver said. “Of course there is sulfur all over the world, but it needs to be blessed in order to be brimstone,” Andrea said. “Exactly, but any human can bless anything, they just need to know what they are blessing. Humans can redefine whatever the fuck they want,” Cleaver said. “What human would know how to make sulfur into brimstone?” Andrea asked. “Priests and crazy people, which actually leads to a rather large abundance of brimstone around the world. Finding it, however, is still tricky,” Cleaver said. In the middle of the pub, a purple portal appeared. This was the hole between Purgatory and the real world. “Well, looks like it’s time to kill me some angels,” Cleaver said as he walked towards the hole.


“Good luck with that,” Andrea said as Cleaver walked into the portal, taking over the poor schmuck in that English pub. Andrea looked up at the television showing Petey’s life. The three had just received the signal, and started to head out. Andrea took a shot glass from the bar and filled it up with the first bottle of alcohol she could find. She held it up to the television. “Here’s to keeping your dick, my friend,” she said to Petey on the television screen before she downed the shot. Part Four: Innocence Lost Cleaver The name on Chelsea and Sarah’s List already told the three that they were fighting a demon. Petey sighed, knowing that they had already failed to save another soul. “Well, let’s kill this guy,” Chelsea said as the two lesbians changed to their angelic forms and teleported away. Petey stood for a few seconds more, looking at The List. “Glad to see you two are so excited,” he muttered as he followed afterwards. When Petey arrived at the bar, he was greeted with a flying butcher knife, which missed him by a few inches as it stuck onto the wall with a loud thud. Petey couldn’t hide his shock as he looked at the square blade on the wall next to him. Cleaver quickly teleported to it and unhinged it from the wall. He swung the knife towards Petey, who quickly jumped back. Another swing from Cleaver was blocked by Petey’s schwip, which he pulled out quickly to finally fight back. “I thought ‘the big man’ was setting up an AOD quadrant in London, damn it,” Chelsea said as she shot at Cleaver. A few bullets struck his arm as he teleported to dodge. “You always underestimate his laziness,” Sarah replied as she looked around to find where Cleaver had teleported. She found him as Cleaver grabbed her from behind. He had her in a headlock in one arm, and the knife in the hand of the other. Sarah had her blade in hand, and used it to stab Cleaver in his leg. He didn’t notice. Chelsea aimed her minigun at the hand that held the butcher knife. The next second the hand was obliterated. Cleaver teleported away before Chelsea could aim for the head, releasing Sarah from his grip. On the wall behind them were Cleaver’s black remains of his hand. “You bitch!” he yelled back. He couldn’t feel pain, but was still angry over the loss of his left hand. Petey was the first to find him again, and swung his weapon across the bar. It extended out, chopping Cleaver in half. The top of him fell onto the ground, while the legs stood up straight. The three thought it was done. But I wanted to make the world into a comic book. Cleaver didn’t seem to be affected by the fact that he was chopped in half. In fact, his legs still ran towards Chelsea and Sarah, as if they were still alive. The top half grabbed the knife and chucked it at Petey. Petey wasn’t paying attention to the halves of


Cleaver, or the knife flying towards him, instead seeing if Chelsea and Sarah were ok. When he looked towards them, time seemed to slow down. He could see Chelsea slowly disappear and reappear next to him. Petey turned and saw the knife slowly flipping towards him. Time wasn’t going by normally; Petey could even see the frames of each action slowly overlapping each other. Moving was tougher though, as Petey couldn’t seem to dodge the knife flying towards him. Suddenly he felt his ears being pulled. He was lifted up from the ground. He looked up to see Chelsea saving him from the flying knife. The knife landed on the wall between Petey’s legs. Time went back to normal. “You can slow down time?” Petey asked Chelsea. “The perception of it, yes,” Chelsea said. Yes, the power of ‘Grace’ was the ability to slow down time in the minds of whoever the power-holder pleases. Getting used to this process was exceedingly difficult, though. Chelsea let go of Petey and aimed her minigun at Cleaver’s top half. Meanwhile, Sarah chopped his legs into many different pieces, which kept twitching about as they fell onto the floor. Chelsea pulled the trigger, destroying Cleaver’s top half. A black bloody mess filled the bar. Cleaver’s body parts, however, were still alive. On the floor laid Cleaver’s mouth, probably the only bit of him left intact. “Fuck you!” his mouth blabbered on with obscenities. The three angels looked annoyed at this point. Chelsea shot down the mouth that bounced around on the floor. The rest of Cleaver’s body parts stopped twitching as well. Turns out the weak point of Cleaver was his mouth. “What a fucking mess,” Sarah said as she looked around the pub. She was right, the walls were painted black with blood, as chunks of Cleaver were littered around. It was probably one of the most violent kills the angels had to make yet. “Come on, let’s go,” Petey said as they teleported back to Boston. “Nice going,” Andrea told Cleaver back in Purgatory. “Shut the fuck up before I cut you,” Cleaver threatened angrily. “Like that’ll do anything here, you freak,” Andrea said as she stood up to leave. Cleaver looked up at the television and gave a dirty smile. “Ha, look, the rabbit’s about to fuck the two dykes,” Cleaver said. Andrea looked back. She watched the television screen, which turned to static a few seconds later. “Good for him,” Andrea said unemotionally as she left to leave again. “Are you angry at him?” Cleaver’s question stopped Andrea. “What?” “Are you angry that the rabbit is banging the two lesbians?” Cleaver continued. “No. Just worried,” Andrea replied as she left the bar. Turns out Andrea had reason to be worried. I watched Petey make love to Chelsea and Sarah and witnessed something I had never seen before (besides a rabbit making love to two women). Petey closed his eyes throughout most of the act, but when I saw him open them, they were scarlet red. For a brief moment, I saw something that even I didn’t know of. His eyes remained red for only a brief moment, but there was something in those eyes. Something corrupt. Something evil. Something even I was scared of.


Episode Twelve: Perfect Blue Buildings Part One: Traveling to Unknown Places I tried to convince myself that what I saw in Petey’s eyes was nothing, just a bright red light. I couldn’t. There was something wrong. Something very, very wrong. But never mind that. I wouldn’t see that same evil for while, so I say we just move on. It was 4:00 AM in Boston. No one in Chelsea and Sarah’s loft was awake. Petey was sleeping in the middle of the two within the thick white sheets. Before he went to sleep, he knew something was wrong with him, just as I did. He tried not to think of it, just as I did. He couldn’t, just as I couldn’t. He squirmed in his sleep. The other two angels didn’t notice or wake up. Within his sleep, he felt himself changing. Fortunately, this change wasn’t one of evil like earlier; instead change into a different form. His body felt light, until it felt like nothing at all. Darkness was all he could see. He felt some sort of rush, and felt like he passed out. When Chelsea and Sarah awoke, Petey was gone. Anna woke up back at the New York loft around 7:30. She looked over at Sam, who was still sleeping. She didn’t make an effort to quiet herself as she sat up from the bed and walked over to the bathroom to take a shower. The water was instantly hot when she turned on the water. She stepped into the shower, and felt something different in her mind. She couldn’t pin-point what it was, though. “Er… Where am I?” Petey asked. He opened his eyes and saw a purple sky. Leaves fell from unknown sources. He lied on dead grass. As he sat up, he thought he was in some sort of graveyard. There were no graves. Grey trees were scattered around the long meadow. Petey stood up, and even though he had never seen these surroundings, he knew what type of place he was in. “Looks like I’m in someone’s mind,” he said to himself. He pondered why he was no longer in the real world. He remembered his times within Kurt’s mind. He felt the same way he did for all those years. Looking around the scenery, he knew he was in a mind. When he made his first guess of whose mind it was, he became angry. “Kurt put me back in his mind, didn’t he?” he said. Petey looked down at the leaves on the ground. It didn’t look like Kurt’s mind, but it probably changed while Petey was gone. Petey kicked the leaves in frustration. “I can’t believe this! I didn’t think he’d actually put me back in here! Selfish ahole,” Petey yelled. He kicked more leaves on the ground, trying to calm himself down. Eventually someone else did that for him. “Relax. You’re not in Kurt’s mind,” a familiar voice assured. The voice was the same as Petey’s. Petey quickly turned and saw a clone of himself standing next to him. The real Petey’s eyes widened, while the other Petey stayed nonchalant. “What’s going on?” the real Petey asked. “Well, you’re in someone’s mind, as you guessed already, just not Kurt’s,” the other Petey replied. “Whose mind am I in?”


“Anna’s.” “When did you wake up?” Sam asked from the bed back in the real world. Anna had just come out of the shower and was drying herself off. “About ten minutes ago,” she answered. “Come back to bed,” Sam begged, too tired to wake himself up. Anna walked over to him. “Nah, I’m not tired anymore. I don’t know why, but I feel good today.” “Why am I in here?” the real Petey asked back in Anna’s mind. “Beats me. I just saw you fall in from the sky,” the other Petey replied. “How do I get out of here?” “Well right now you’re in the center of her mind. You have to find your way out through what she sees,” the other Petey explained. “So what, find my way out through her eyes?” “I think that might work.” “Maybe I can get her to hear me in here,” the real Petey suggested as he looked up at the unnatural sky. “No. She won’t hear you.” “Kurt could always hear me in his mind.” “Well not everyone listens to their mind as well as Kurt does. Especially not Anna,” the other Petey said as he started walking down the meadow. The real Petey quickly followed. “Here, follow me. I can take you to where you need to go,” the other Petey said. The two clones walked down the dead fields. “So why are you here?” the real Petey asked the other Petey. “I don’t know, I’ve always been here for as long as I can remember,” the other Petey answered as the two continued on. The purple sky quickly turned pink. Trees started coming back to life. The real Petey looked around in confusion. “What’s going on?” he asked. “Guess,” the other Petey suggested as he looked up as well. Outside, Sam and Anna were making love. “So what’s it like out there?” the other Petey asked. “It has its up and downs. I like the people out there,” the real Petey said. “But what about in here? It seems really lonely,” the real Petey continued as he tried to find somebody besides himself around. “It is. I’m sure Kurt’s mind was much more exciting,” the other Petey said. “If you think a small place clouded with weed is exciting, then yes,” the real Petey said. “You know Anna smokes occasionally too, right?” “No, I didn’t know that. Perhaps I’ll learn a lot more about her in here,” the real Petey said as the scenery changed back to the dark purple. “Did that wake you up?” Anna asked Sam back in the real world. Sam smiled back.


“Sure did,” he said as he sat up. The clock read 8:15. Time went by faster in Anna’s mind. “So, what do you want to do today?” Sam asked Anna as she sat up. “I don’t know. Anything’s fine by me,” she said. “Where are we now?” the real Petey asked back in Anna’s mind. In front of him was a large metal gate. The other Petey opened it, creating a loud creak. “No longer in the center of Anna’s mind. That’s all I can tell you,” he said as he led the real Petey in through the gate. When the two Peteys entered through the gate, flakes of snow fell softly to the ground. “Why is it snowing?” the real Petey asked. “Welcome to a different part of Anna’s mind,” the other Petey said as they kept trudging through. The signal… Even Petey felt it in Anna’s mind. The sky turned red along with the piercing sound. The other Petey didn’t take much notice as the real Petey stopped. “Did you feel that?” the real Petey asked. “No,” the other answered. “The signal just went off.” “Oh yeah, it does that sometimes,” the other Petey said without care. “Don’t you answer it?” “What am I supposed to do? I’m just a rabbit in someone’s mind.” Outside, Anna and Sam were responding to the signal. They dashed to the door on the other side of the living room. Inside The List stood still, reading off the name of the condemned. Carl Levertes “At least he ain’t a demon yet,” Sam said as he changed to his angelic appearance. Anna did the same. They teleported off to the kill, somewhere in slums of New York. Part Two: Victims and Shadows Back in Anna’s mind, the snow had stopped. The two Peteys kept their journey going, as they eventually reached the top of a shallow hill. The real Petey looked back, getting a good view of Anna’s mind. Everything seemed colorless, lifeless. He turned back and followed the other Petey, in hope of finding his way home. “There he is,” Anna whispered to Sam. They found themselves near a crowded street in New York. The air smelled like car exhaust and vomit. Within the moving crowd was a bright red outcast. Sam quickly targeted the marked man. “Ok, how are we going to do this without making much of a scene?” Sam whispered. They were hiding on top of a roof. “I don’t know. Wait, where did he go?” Anna asked. Before Sam could realize that their target had escaped, he felt a bullet fly by and strike the metal conditioner behind him. Down the street, people were running in fear. Carl Levertes, the marked man, was now in the middle of the street, aiming his gun up at the roof where Anna and Sam hid.


“So much for not making a scene.” “I’m sorry you’re stuck in here,” the other Petey said back in Anna’s mind. “It’s fine. I’ll find a way out,” the real Petey said. As they walked over another hill, they saw a destroyed town. The area looked like it had been mangled only days earlier. Halves of buildings were the only things that stood. The area looked like ruins. “What happened here?” the real Petey quickly asked. “I don’t know. It’s always been like this,” the other Petey said. “It looks like a bomb fell on this place,” the real Petey said. “Let’s just go, this place always gives me the creeps,” the other Petey said. They walked through the streets of the destroyed town. It was no bigger than a small suburban town. No signs of life or death were around, just destroyed streets and buildings. The real Petey could understand the other Petey’s fear, as he felt a sort of chill come down his body as he walked on the cold asphalt. Sam quickly teleported down onto the street to the man he needed to kill. The man quickly ran away from Sam while blindly shooting back. Anna quickly teleported down in front of the man’s path. Before the man could turn his head around to see her, Anna stuck her dagger into the man’s heart. Inside Anna’s mind, a sort of earthquake shook everything up. The Peteys tried to stay on their feet as the ground shook apart underneath them. “Looks like Anna made the kill,” the other Petey said. “It always does this when she kills someone?” the real Petey asked. The other Petey nodded as the two found their way out of the destroyed town within Anna’s mind. “I don’t like it when she makes a kill,” the other Petey said. “God damn it, I got blood all over myself,” Anna said as she pulled out the knife from Mr. Levertes. Sam quickly caught up with her and looked down at the corpse. People all around had mostly cleared out in fear, but few stayed to watch the scene. When Anna and Sam saw these onlookers, they quickly teleported back home. “At least we got him before a demon did,” Sam said when they arrived back to the loft. Anna took off her blood-stained shirt and walked over to the dresser to put on another one. She stopped for a second as she looked into the mirror. “What’s wrong?” Sam noticed. Anna looked at herself some more. “I don’t know. It just seems like my head’s in a different place right now.” Meanwhile, in Anna’s head, time had passed slowly as the Peteys walk through the red autumn fields. Orange, yellow, and scarlet leaves were scattered along the ground, being kicked by large rabbit feet and gently floating through the air. The ruined city was far behind the two, as the real Petey looked around at Anna’s mind. “Well, at least this part’s pretty,” the real Petey commented. Silence covered most of the two Peteys’ journey. There were finally sources for all the leaves, as trees lined up across the fragile hills. “Most of this place is fine, just gotta stay out of the nasty parts,” the other Petey said. The two reached another large metallic gate. It bore no sign to name what was inside it.


“Speaking of which,” the other Petey said as the gate opened slowly. What was inside was a stereotype. This stereotype being one of the old mansion found in typical horror movies. Though not quite as regal, a large mansion stood before the two Peteys as the other Petey walked towards the giant house. “What’s this place?” the real Petey asked. “One of those nasty parts I told you about,” the other Petey said as they walked up the steps onto the porch. The creek of an abandoned rocking chair shifting back and forth left the real Petey in an unsettling mood. “Should I look out for ghosts or something?” the real Petey joked. “Probably,” the other Petey said, without any intention of following Petey’s joke. He opened the door, leading the two into a large hall. Many doors were littered around on the walls. The other Petey walked towards the one at the left end of the hall, as if he knew which door to walk to. “The basement will lead us to where we need to go,” the other Petey said as he reached towards the doorknob. The real Petey looked around at the hall. The roof was so high up along with the large wooden supports under the angle. The house contained two stories, as a large spiral staircase dressed the right corner of the hall. Decorated banisters ran across the upstairs floor, as the real Petey realized that the mansion was not all that ramshackled, but instead still in pretty fine shape. “Gah, it’s locked,” the other Petey said from the left corner of the hall. He tried to open the door again, but it wouldn’t budge. “Is it usually open?” the real Petey asked. “Yes, I’ve never seen it locked before,” the other Petey replied. The hall suddenly chilled down, causing the real Petey to shiver in coldness, and the other Petey to shiver in fear. “Oh no,” the other Petey said. “What?” “The shadows,” the other Petey said quietly. The walls on the other side of the room burst open as a large black mystery jumped in. The real Petey instantly jumped back and swiped out his schwip. “What the heck is that?” he shouted towards the other Petey. “You don’t want to know, just run!” the other Petey said as he tried to dash for the door. The shadow quickly swiped past him, blocking his exit. The other Petey slowly stepped back, trying to think of where to go next. The real Petey, however, had no intention of running. “Hey ‘sludgey,’ over here,” the real Petey whistled. The shadow quickly turned towards the real Petey, who held his weapon in front of him. The darkness quickly flew at the real Petey, who responded by dodging and swiping his blade into the middle of the shadow. While it didn’t take out the whole blackness, it still left quite a scar, creating a large cut in shadow. The wound did not seem to the affect the shadow at all, as it continued striking at Petey. “Come on, let’s get out of here!” the other Petey yelled as the real Petey fought the shadow around the hall. “Not yet, how do I kill this thing?” the real Petey shouted back, creating another gash into the shadow. “Leave it alone! We’ll find another way out of Anna’s mind!” the other Petey begged. This gave the real Petey an idea, as he quickly moved towards the door to the basement. When he reached the left corner, he stuck out his tongue and teased the


shadow, which instantly struck back towards Petey. As the shadow was inches away from Petey, he quickly teleported, causing the shadow to crash into the door, opening it. The other Petey quickly ran towards the basement as the real Petey lured the shadow to the other side of the hall. The real Petey swung his schwip as he walked backwards up the spiral staircase. Another cut dug deep into the shadow with seemingly no effect. “Come on! The basement’s open! Let’s go!” the other Petey yelled. The real Petey ran along the second floor and jumped up onto of the supports as the shadow followed. “No, if there’s something like this in Anna’s mind I want to get rid of it,” the real Petey said as the shadow destroyed the support Petey was standing on. He quickly teleported to another, which the shadow continued to destroy. Petey teleported to a higher support, and a higher one still. While to the other Petey, it looked like the real Petey was running scared from the shadow, when in fact the real Petey had some sort of plan. The shadow followed through with the plan as it struck out towards Petey at the top of the ceiling. Petey teleported down a support to dodge, as the shadow punched a hole into the ceiling, letting in the natural light, what little was available. The shadow fell to the ground at the sight of the light. It twitched, almost as if it were melting or evaporating. Petey unleashed a cartoon bomb to the roof, destroying another large hole into it, letting in more light. The shadow dissolved into little black dots floating up into the air, until it was gone forever. The real Petey jumped back down to the floor, looking calmly towards the other Petey. “You think there are any more of those around?” the real Petey asked. “I’m not sure, but let’s not go chasing them down or anything,” the other Petey suggested as he entered the door to the basement. “You know, they’re actually pretty easy to kill,” the real Petey said as he followed. “Anna, have you seen Petey?” Kurt asked as he walked into the living room. It was 3:00, and Sam and Anna were watching television back in the real world. “No, I haven’t seen him all day,” Anna replied as she looked up at Kurt. “He’s probably still with the two lesbians. Hope he doesn’t forget about the show tonight,” Kurt said as he headed towards the kitchen. “I guess time flies when you’re having fun,” Kurt said. “Especially the type of fun he’s probably having right now,” Sam laughed. “Hey, I may have forgiven him for sleeping with the two lesbians, but I’m still allowed to be grossed out by it,” Kurt said as he grabbed a beer from the fridge. “And I’m still allowed to be jealous of him,” Sam said, which prompted Anna to hit him. “What? The rabbit’s a lucky son-of-a-bitch. He’s scored steady sex with not one, but two girls at the same time. I don’t see how he did it,” Sam said. “Well... the lesbians needed something to er... fill the hole,” Anna said. “Well yeah, but you can just strap a dildo onto a stuffed animal and probably get the same effect,” Sam said. Kurt held up his hands in disgust. “That’s it. You people are fucking sick. I’m not going to stand here and talk about a rabbit’s sex-life with you two,” Kurt said as he headed for the door.


“So you think he’s getting it on right now?” Anna asked Sam before Kurt left to tease him. Kurt shook his head and left. Sam turned to Anna. “Totally,” Sam mouthed back. Part Three: Traps of a Different Kind “Geez, how long do these stairs last?” the real Petey asked as he followed Anna’s Petey down to the basement in her mind. The straight staircase seemed to never end as it stretched down in a dark alley. “Not much longer, we need to be quiet though,” the other Petey warned. The real Petey didn’t follow the warning well. “Why?” Petey said in a louder voice. The other Petey hushed and whispered. “Because, there are traps around. You be too noticeable and you might set them off,” the other Petey urged in a quiet voice. The real Petey kept his same volume. “Traps? I didn’t know living in Anna’s mind was such an...” With that statement, a rumbling came. The Peteys looked behind them, and a wall of fire quickly approached them. Perhaps one of the traps the other Petey mentioned. “...adventure,” the real Petey finished as he quickly turned away from the fire. The other Petey panicked and started dashing down the stairs. As he tried to run, he felt the stairs below his feet to change form. Soon the stairs were no longer stairs, instead a smooth slope. He slipped and fell to a sitting position, now sliding down a sheet of ice. The real Petey had drawn a slide of ice out of the stairs as the two slid down at an enormous speed. “The fire’s getting closer! We’re not going fast enough!” the other Petey yelled as the two slid. The real Petey looked behind him. It was true; the wall of bright orange was still coming in a faster rate. He looked back in front of him. He could finally see the end of the stairs coming. Whether or not they would make it there before the fire would was questionable. Petey decided not to take his chances, as he held out his hands to make another creation. This time it was a wall of concrete to block the fire. It spread across the hall that housed the stairs. It was finished before the fire could pass it. The second of time the concrete wall gave for the rabbits before bursting down from the fire was enough to save them as they slid all the way down the stairs. The slide shot them out into a large study and they both ran to the sides and took cover. The fire shot out from the stairs, but only in a thin line, not touching either of the Peteys. As the Peteys peered out from their hiding spots, they noticed the room turn a familiar pink color. “Well I’m glad to see you’re having so much fun!” the real Petey tried to yell at Anna, who was now making love with Sam back outside, again. The real Petey shook off his face and walked over to the other Petey, who was still cowering behind a large couch. “So where are we now?” the real Petey asked as the other Petey inched away from the couch. The real Petey looked around at the study. The walls were a library, filled with memories in the form of books, neatly lined up on the shelves. “If the mind were a human body, I’d say we were at the heart right now,” the other Petey said as he fully stood up. The real Petey kept looking around at the room. He noticed the centerpiece of the room, a large portrait hung on the south wall. On the floor next to the painting was a pile of more portraits. The real Petey walked towards the portraits. Each portrait was about as tall as Petey was himself. He looked at the top of the pile. The portrait featured a familiar face, his.


Petey looked up at the wall to the portrait hanging. On the portrait was Sam, looking emotionless and stern. Petey looked back at the pile of portraits to his own portrait. At least he had a smile on his painting, he thought as he looked back up at Sam’s. Petey looked through the paintings in the pile. He saw Kurt, Jessica, and a few other people he didn’t know. Putting his portrait down, he turned to the other Petey. “So what, the portrait on the wall represents who Anna is in love with?” the real Petey asked. The other Petey silently nodded. They stared at the portrait for a few moments, until the other Petey finally spoke. “You know, you could change that portrait up there if you wanted to,” the other Petey suggested softly. “Why would I want to do that?” the real Petey asked defensively. Another silence broke between the two. The other Petey changed the tone of the conversation. “Don’t you wonder why I’m the only one in here?” the other Petey asked. “You notice how there’s no one in here? No one but me. Don’t you wonder why you’re in here?” the other Petey started. “Why?” the real Petey asked nervously. “Because you’re the only one whose made that much of an impact on Anna. I’m the first thing to live in here for years! A mind’s not supposed to be empty; it’s not supposed to be like this! We needed you, Petey. We needed you so much,” the other Petey said. “You brought me here,” the real Petey realized. “Yes. I knew you could fit in someone’s mind. I knew that you could fix her.” “Why do think I’m the one who could fix her?” “Because look at what you’ve done so far! You hadn’t even been in her mind and she’s already getting so much better! It isn’t enough, though. Listen, I’m not expecting you to stay in here any longer. But please, look at what you’ve done for Anna, and realize that it’s your portrait that belongs up there,” the other Petey begged. “No. She’s in love with Sam,” the real Petey said softly. “If she was really in love with Sam, then wouldn’t he be standing right next to us here in her mind? How can she really love him if he’s not even in her mind?” the other Petey argued. “I’m not changing that portrait, it wouldn’t be fair,” the real Petey said as he tried to walk away. “Fair? You know what isn’t fair? Being in love with someone who doesn’t know how much you care for them,” the other Petey challenged. “I’m not in love with Anna,” the real Petey said. “Yes, you are,” the other Petey argued. “No, I’m not.” “Yes, you are.” “I can’t be in love with her! I can’t be in love with anyone! I’m a rabbit, and she’s a human. End of story. I can never be in love with anyone, and I’ve realized that,” the real Petey said. “So that’s why you went out and did it with the two lesbians?” the other Petey asked. “Exactly. Might as well get the benefits of love while I can,” the real Petey said. “Wow, Anna got you completely wrong. You’re much more selfish than she thought you were,” the other Petey said.


“Well, you’re a coward, so she must’ve gotten something wrong,” the real Petey said. “Now where do we go now? I want to go home.” Part Four: Coming Home “What’s wrong, Anna?” Sam asked back in the real world. Anna and Sam were lying in bed, around 5:00. Anna was huddled in Sam’s arms, looking as miserable as could be. “I don’t know, I think it’s just a headache or something,” Anna said. Back in Anna’s mind, the Peteys had not talked to each other for an hour. The basement had led them to another hall, which led them out to a wet green field. They had walked through the field for most of that hour, with fog falling down slowly. The air was crisp, as Petey could feel the air chill his fur. They reached the edge of a steep cliff, and the other Petey finally talked to the real Petey for the first time. “Well, here we are,” he said as the real Petey caught up. At the edge of the cliff was a green sea. The cliff was high up, enough to kill a man who would jump off. As the real Petey looked down at the sea, he noticed that through a rather unfocused view, he could see what went through Anna’s eyes. He saw Sam’s face approach hers for a kiss, before they closed slowly. “So, you just jump off, and you’ll be back home,” the other Petey said quietly. The real Petey looked back up. He looked around at the world he was in. Fog spread quickly as he turned his head to look at the land behind him. Barren and lifeless, he tried to find a way to fix her. He looked back down at the cliff, waves crashed against the edges. “What are you waiting for? Go home,” the other Petey said. “No,” the real Petey said as he slowly approached the edge of the cliff. “What?” “Not yet,” the real Petey finished as spread his arms and leaned back. He let himself fall back before teleporting back to the front of Anna’s mind. The other Petey ran to the edge of the cliff to try to find the real Petey. When he realized what the real Petey was doing, he smiled and laughed hugely. “Hey kid, where’s the rabbit? You two are supposed to be on stage in half an hour!” Danny yelled at Kurt back at The Act in the real world. “I don’t know, he should be here any minute,” Kurt said as Danny left. Kurt was in his dressing room with Jessica in his left arm and the dickbong in his right hand. “You sure we should be getting stoned so close before the show?” Jessica asked as Kurt took a hit. “It’ll be fine. It’s what Petey gets for being so late,” Kurt said. “Where do you think he is?” Jessica asked. “Probably fucking the two lesbians some more,” Kurt said bluely as he stood up to put the bong away. “I’m glad I have such a classy boyfriend,” Jessica said sarcastically. Kurt turned and smiled as he approached Jessica. “At least your classy boyfriend loves you,” Kurt said as he kissed Jessica’s smiling lips.


“There, that should do it,” the real Petey said, clapping his hands off. Back in Anna’s mind, the two Peteys stood back at the cliff. They looked off to Anna’s new mind. It was no longer lifeless, as the dead meadows were now filled with flowers created by Petey. The destroyed city was rebuilt, now inhabited by people Anna had met before and some new faces. The stereotypical mansion was destroyed, to prevent anymore shadows from appearing. Even the beach down below had a brand-new lighthouse which the other Petey commented would be completely useless. “Thanks for everything,” the other Petey said as the two rabbits shook hands. “No, thank you for bringing me here. I think we’ve finally helped Anna,” the real Petey said. “Well, we’ve started to, anyway. Before you go, is there anything you want to take with you?” the other Petey asked. “Well now that you mention it...” the real Petey started. “There you are, God damn it!” Kurt said as Petey finally entered the dressing room back in the real world. Petey had successfully jumped out of Anna’s mind and rushed to The Act. Their set would start in five minutes. “Where the hell have you been all day?” Kurt scolded. “You know... around,” Petey said as he casually followed Kurt out the door. Besides Kurt being high off his mind, the set was fairly successful. The afterparty was louder than usual, with alcohol being the poison of choice. Petey stuck to carrot juice while everyone gradually became drunk. Midnight, Petey and Anna decided to teleport home. Petey did the teleporting, due to the risk of a drunken Anna teleporting to who-knows-where. They ended up on Petey’s bed, in his hand-drawn room. “You’re so drunk,” Petey laughed back at The Loft. “No I’m not,” Anna said as she fell off the bed and laughed. “Yes you are, now get back up here,” Petey smiled. Anna found her way back up. “Where have you been all day? Sam’s been boring the hell out of me,” Anna slurred as she fell onto the bed. “I’ve just been around. Where is Sam anyway?” Petey asked. “Why do you always worry where Sam is? You afraid he’d be mad if he saw us alone like this?” Anna laughed with massive alcohol-influenced halitosis. “No, it’s just...” “I’ll give him a reason to be mad,” Anna said as she drunkenly kissed Petey. Petey playfully pushed her off of him, not able to hide his own pleasure in the process. “Woah...” Anna said softly as she looked up at Petey’s wall. “Nice portrait,” she said. On the wall was Petey’s portrait from Anna’s mind. Petey had taken it as a souvenir. “Thanks, I think it helps convey my humble personality,” Petey said as the giant version of himself hovered above the bed. At this point, Anna had passed out on Petey’s bed. Petey laughed quietly to himself, as he imagined what was in Anna’s new mind. What a strange tale, I thought to myself. A rabbit found himself in the mind of the woman he loves, and before leaving, left a whole new world for her to enjoy. Life was finally in Anna’s mind, and the darkness no longer dominated her thoughts. The Petey in Anna’s mind finally had friends, as the world became a brighter place, but inside and out.


But perhaps the most noticeable difference in Anna’s mind was the hand-drawn bunny ears on Sam’s portrait in the heart of her mind.

Episode Thirteen: Sundays Part 1: Evelyn Baxter Two more weeks passed by. Autumn finally started revealing itself as leaves scattered around the city streets. The air was becoming colder, and rain was much more common. With the two weeks came ten kills, eleven sets, and fourteen hangover-be-gone shakes each morning. Sam started smoking. To Kurt’s displeasure, it wasn’t marijuana. Sam didn’t know why he starting smoking cigarettes again, he hadn’t smoked since he was a teenager. All he knew was that he felt good every time he sucked in on the little white sticks. Anna was brighter than ever. Petey had cleaned her mind better than he thought. Her clean mind didn’t stop her from joining Kurt, Jessica, and Sam from drinking too much each night. Strangely, each morning she usually didn’t wake up in her bed with Sam, but instead in Petey’s. Petey was the only one to ever remember all of each night. He would often tell the others what had happened the night before in the morning. Petey ended his relationship with the two lesbians before the relationship became public. It wasn’t really a break-up of any sorts. The rabbit just told the two that he was no longer comfortable performing threesomes with them. They didn’t take it as an offense, and told him to call them anytime he wanted to ‘shoot off some stress.’ “Alright everyone, it’s Saturday, so you know what that means. A new issue of AngelEye is out,” Kurt started the set. In his hands was a copy of the tabloid magazine that focused on the angels. Petey and Kurt had made it a regular segment every Saturday to read and crack jokes at the latest articles. They never read the issue until they read it on stage. “Let’s see what the cover looks like,” Kurt said as he turned the magazine over. Petey found a way to copy the pages and project them behind them on the wall so everyone could see. “Hmm... ‘Sins of the Angels,’ sounds dark,” Kurt started. On the cover was a faux police lineup, with the silhouettes of the angels as the suspects. Petey and Kurt looked at each other with worry, wishing they had read the article first. “Alright, looks like this is the cover story. They have a little section for each of us here. Looks like I’m first,” Kurt continued as he turned the page. Sure enough, there was


a large picture of Kurt on stage from a previous performance. In the picture, he had bloodshot eyes that were half open. Kurt started reciting the article. “‘Kurt Watts is not only known for being a so-called Angel of Death, but for his stand-up act with his self-created friend Petey, which shows almost every night at a small club called The Act. During these shows, Kurt rarely mentions his life as an angel, especially not any details on the kills. However, he’s still not exactly a role-model while he’s up on stage. Lately, Kurt has been obviously intoxicated during performances, seen stumbling and slurring his words. While the show has a strong fan base, we think it might be due to Petey’s quick wit that often saves Kurt from looking like a drunkard.’ Thanks Petey,” Kurt said. “Well, are you intoxicated tonight?” Petey asked suspiciously. “Not on alcohol,” Kurt answered truthfully. The crowd laughed while Petey seemed only slightly annoyed. Petey couldn’t remember the last time Kurt was truly sober for a performance. “Anyways, let’s continue this insult against me. ‘It has also been reported that Kurt and singer Jessica Stanford, have been performing sexual intercourse backstage at The Act. We have to say; keep it in the bedroom, kids,’” Kurt continued. The crowd cheered as Kurt and Petey started laughing. “Seriously though, they’re usually not this hard on us,” Petey noted as he looked at the article. “I don’t care, I find this funny. Let’s continue. Oh look, Sam’s up next,” Kurt said as he started reciting Sam’s segment. “‘Lately it seems that Sam cares little about hiding his kills from the public. Last Thursday, he beheaded Ralph Micari in front of a school playground full of children,’” Kurt recited, looking a bit wide-eyed. Petey looked up at Kurt, trying to find some sort of joke to go along with the dark material. Kurt just remembered how the actual incident played out. “To be fair, Mr. Micari was a pedophile,” Kurt said. The crowd laughed loudly. Petey whispered to Kurt. “Wow, that was pitch black,” Petey whispered to Kurt, referring to the humor. Kurt shrugged and opened the magazine back up. “Well, let’s continue here then, shall we?” Kurt suggested as he turned to the next page. On the page was a picture of Anna passed out on Petey’s bed, with Petey sleeping in her arms. “‘Slaughtering helpless people in front of children isn’t the only thing Sam should be worried about. His relationship with Anna seems to also be in jeopardy. Lately it has been reported that Anna has spent more time in Petey’s bed than in Sam’s. In fact, Anna is seen with Petey much more than with Sam, which makes us wonder whether or not Anna is cheating on Sam with the rabbit.’ Is this article serious?” Kurt recited awkwardly. Petey looked stunned as he saw the picture behind him. “How’d they get that picture?” Petey asked. “They probably edited it,” Kurt dismissed as he continued reciting the article. “‘Don’t think Petey hasn’t had experience either. There have been new Angels of Death spotted in the Boston area. Their names are Chelsea and Sarah, and they are two lesbian lovers. It turns out that the three had been in a ménage a trois with each other for a week. While the relationship is over, we think that it may be time for Kurt to neuter Petey,’” Kurt recited. Everyone cheered at the thought of Petey landing a threesome. “Who wrote this article?” Petey said nervously, trying to talk over the cheers.


“Let me see. Her name’s Evelyn Baxter. She must be new. You know what? Fuck this magazine,” Kurt said as he threw the magazine away. The crowd cheered and the two went on with the show as if it were any regular night. Unfortunately for Petey, it looked like the subject of the night would be him and the two lesbians. And that’s all Kurt remembered that night. The next morning Kurt was awakened by the smell of orange and chocolate. At 8:30, Petey came into his room with a large glass of Kurt’s hangover-be-gone drink. Kurt sat up and turned himself towards Petey, who had his own glass of the vile looking drink in his hands. “Thanks. Hey, do you remember last night?” Kurt asked. “Yeah, that AngelEye magazine tore us a new one,” Petey said as he took a sip from his glass. “Why are you drinking that? You don’t have a hangover,” Kurt said. “What? You don’t think I can do a little drinking too?” Petey said. Kurt simply looked at Petey with extreme skepticism. “Fine... I just like the way it tastes,” Petey admitted. “Actually, this one’s for Anna. I keep drinking it though,” Petey said. “Did she pass out on your bed again last night?” Kurt asked. “Heh, yeah. I’m surprised Sam hasn’t killed me yet,” Petey said. “It’s not like you’re fucking her or anything. Sam always crashes earlier than us, it’s his own damn fault,” Kurt said as he stood up. He wore nothing at all under the sheets. “Oh come on, man,” Petey said as he shielded himself from Kurt. Despite this, Petey couldn’t help notice something peculiar. “Do you still have the rubber on your junk?” Petey asked. Kurt looked down, and pulled off a condom. “Woah, didn’t notice that,” Kurt said as he walked over to get dressed. Petey paused for a moment. “...How do you not notice that?” Petey asked rather loudly, waking Jessica. “Good morning Petey,” Jessica said as he sat up and grabbed Kurt’s drink on the nightstand. “Seriously, how do you not notice that? That’s disgusting, Kurt. How do you deal with that?” Petey asked Jessica. “Alcohol,” Jessica said bluntly as she took a sip of her drink. “I can’t believe the people I live with,” Petey said as he left the room. He walked down the hall to his own room, where Anna slept on his bed. With the half-full glass in his hand, he quietly walked towards the bed, as Anna slowly woke up. “Good morning, bunny,” she said with a smile. Petey gave her the drink and sat on the bed. “When are you going to sleep in Sam’s bed again?” Petey asked. “What? You don’t like me sleeping in here?” Anna asked as she stood up. “I don’t know, I just think maybe you should be sleeping with you know... the one you love, or something like that,” Petey said as he followed Anna. “I sleep where I drop.”


The clock found its way to 9:00. By this time, everyone was in the main room. Kurt was making breakfast along with Petey, while the other three sat at the table along the window. Petey sat on the kitchen counter with a copy of AngelEye in his hands, as he flipped through the pages. “So it looks like this magazine’s taken a turn for the worse for us,” Petey said as he saw pictures he didn’t remember seeing anyone take. “That’s sad, I always thought the magazine was a good gig,” Kurt said, referring to the magazine only as a tool for more jokes. “How did they get all these pictures and stories though? I mean, who’s really stalking us that much?” Petey asked. “Who knows, the tabloids are crazy,” Kurt said. Suddenly, the angels heard a noise they had never heard in their loft. A doorbell. “What was that?” Sam asked. “Sounded like a doorbell,” Jessica turned. “We have a doorbell?” Kurt asked as he walked down the hall to approach the front door. The others followed him cautiously. They all hoped that it was John or another angel just playing a trick on them. The doorbell rang again, along with an obnoxious knocking with it. “Answer it,” Sam whispered harshly to Kurt when they finally reached the door. Kurt grabbed the doorknob and slowly opened it. Behind the door was a middle-aged woman, mildly chubby, with tied back dark hair. On her nose was a pair of thin, light square glasses. She wore a dark navy pantsuit that seemed to fit too large on her. “Good morning, Evelyn Baxter from AngelEye magazine, mind if I conduct a little interview?” she asked as she let herself in. She was shorter than every other angel besides Petey, but that didn’t matter as she pushed herself towards the kitchen. Carrying a small bag and a pen in her ear, she took a seat at the breakfast bar in the kitchen. The angels quickly followed. “How did you find us?” Kurt instantly asked. “Oh you couldn’t figure it out?” Evelyn asked. Above her head appeared a light halo. “I’m an angel,” she said. She opened her bag and pulled out a small notebook and a recorder. “Now, about the interview...” “Wait, we didn’t say anything about an interview. Why would we accept an interview after you slandered us in that last story?” Kurt defended. “Slander? That’s a strong accusation Mr. Watts. I may have made some assumptions, but nothing in that story was untrue. Now, about the interview,” Evelyn continued. “We’re not doing an interview, now if you’d kindly leave,” Kurt interrupted. Evelyn finally stopped. She grabbed the pen from her ear and clicked it on the table as she continued to seat. “You know Kurt, I have more power than you think,” she said with a scowl. “You’re a reporter for a shitty tabloid, how much power can you have?” Sam challenged. The recognizable ominous voice chimed in from the kitchen. “A lot, actually,” John had appeared from the kitchen, and walked in to join the conversation.


“Why, hello there John,” Evelyn said in a fake kindness. “Hello, you horrific troll, come to torment my angels have you?” John asked. “I just wanted to ask them some questions. But if they don’t want to participate, I suppose I can just write a nice editorial about these drunkards,” Evelyn threatened. “Go ahead and see if we care, no one’s going to believe you anyway,” Sam said. “Yeah, unfortunately you’re wrong Sam,” John started. “As I have told you, God’s a bit of a dumbass, and he gave this harpy the power to convince the masses. Anyone that reads that story will believe it,” John admitted. “So I would suggest that you all sit down and have a little talk with me,” Evelyn offered. After a moment of silence, Petey finally spoke. “Why are you doing this?” he asked bluntly. “Why? Because for some reason the rest of the world and other angels have gained a false picture of you four. They see you as perfect superheroes, and I know that is not true. I don’t know when murder has ever been acceptable, but you four have made it. I think that’s bullshit and I think that you all don’t deserve one bit of praise for your actions. In fact, the fact that you four exist as angels is a sign that God is getting bored and ultimately a signal that existence will end soon,” Evelyn explained quickly. “Existence isn’t ending you fucking freak,” John interrupted. “Whether or not it is, the bottom line is; if you four don’t give me an interview, I will make the world hate you,” Evelyn threatened. Silence hovered over the room, except for the sound of a lighter flicking as Sam lit up a cigarette. After he took his first puff, he became the first to speak again. “Fine, I’ll answer your stupid questions,” Sam said as he approached Evelyn. She even gave a fake smile. “Very well, shall we head over to the other room?” Evelyn said as she walked towards the door at the other side of the living room. Part 2: Interviews Sam followed Evelyn into the room. She had made the room situate itself into a comfortable setting, complete with two soft chairs facing each other and plenty of light beaming into the setting. Sam kept smoking his cigarette as he sat down. Evelyn followed with a more sophisticated approach. As she sat down, she took out a small notebook from her bag and the pen that was already in her right hand. “So Sam, thank you for taking the time to sit down with me,” Evelyn said in the fakest tone Sam had ever heard. “Let’s just get this over with,” Sam said. “Very well then. Now you currently have the most kills of any other angel out there right now. Do you see this as some sort of accomplishment?” Evelyn asked. “Why yes. In fact, Evelyn, I want to be the very best, like no one ever was. To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause,” Sam said sarcastically. “Are you reciting the theme from Pokemon?” Evelyn asked, not entertained. “Yup.” “And I thought Kurt was the joker. Well, I assume I won’t get any serious answers from you regarding serious topics, so let’s just move to something else. You’re a fan of comic books, is that right?” Evelyn asked. “Yes I am,” Sam replied as he took another puff from his cigarette. “Do you see your life as a comic book now?”


“Yes I do. I suppose the fact that I have superpowers and fight bad guys relates to a comic-book like setting,” Sam said. “And you consider yourself the good guy?” Evelyn asked. “Yes I do. I haven’t killed anyone that didn’t deserve it,” Sam said confidently. “Alright. Two weeks ago, you killed a man named Patrick Brice. Can you tell me why you killed him?” Evelyn asked. Sam couldn’t remember the exact reason The List had provided. “Because The List told me to,” Sam said. “And you listen to everything The List says?” Evelyn asked. “Yes.” “What if The List gave you a name of someone you loved?” Evelyn asked, glaring at Sam. “I wouldn’t love anyone that would be on that list,” Sam said. “I’m glad to see you’re so sure of that. Let’s continue on by revisiting some of your most famous kills over the past few months,” Evelyn started, as she opened her bag so pull out a series of photographs. On each photograph was a crisp and clear picture of Sam, taking his last swipe of his sword onto whoever he was assigned to kill. “Nice photos,” Sam commented. Evelyn started pulling out specific pictures to test Sam. “Do you remember this kill?” she asked him. On the photograph was Sam with both of his swords stuck into an unarmed man. The man’s black blood spewed out behind him. Sam’s facial expression was stoic as he killed the man. “Yeah, nothing special,” Sam said. “What was the victim’s name?” Evelyn asked. Sam thought for a few seconds. “I don’t know,” Sam admitted. Evelyn pulled out more photographs, pointing out each person Sam killed. “How about this one?” Evelyn asked as she continued to push more pictures toward Sam. Sam couldn’t name anyone. Evelyn didn’t seem surprised. “Nice to see you don’t know anything about the people you kill,” Evelyn said. “It’s not my job to know, now are you trying to make a point here?” Sam defended. “With you, Sam? Never. Now how are things with Anna?” Evelyn asked. “I’m not answering any questions about Anna. You’re the one who’s crazy enough to think she’s fucking the rabbit,” Sam said. “I’m flattered that you read my last article, Sam. You know what? I’m done with you. Now get out of my face,” Evelyn said. “My pleasure,” Sam said as he stood up and left. He heard a slight murmur in the background as he exited. “Asshole.” Sam walked back out to the living room. Everyone was scattered around. Anna and Petey sat at the table next to the window. Kurt sat on the couch while John stood near the kitchen. “Well she’s done with me,” Sam said as he sat on the couch with Kurt. “That didn’t take long. How was it?” Kurt asked. “Not bad, she’s just trying to make us feel guilty. As long as you don’t give her anything you’ll be fine,” Sam said.


“You don’t have to ‘give’ her anything, Sam. She knows everything you’ve ever done. She just wants to let you know that she knows everything you’ve ever done,” John said. “Well, who’s next?” Sam asked. Anna stood from the table. “I’ll go,” Anna said as she walked towards the door at the other side of the room. Petey couldn’t help but show a look of worry as he watched Anna walk away. “Besides, how bad could it be?” she asked optimistically as she opened the door and left. “Hello, Anna,” Evelyn said politely from her chair back in the ever-changing room. Anna smiled and gently walked over to the chair adjacent to Evelyn. She even extended her hand to greet Evelyn as she sat down. After shaking hands, Evelyn quickly took out her pad of paper and pen, writing even though she hadn’t asked a question. “Alright Anna, let’s begin,” Evelyn said professionally as Anna shifted slightly in her seat. Evelyn glared into Anna’s eyes, knowing more than she did. “Now, why do you think you were chosen to serve as an Angel of Death?” Evelyn asked. She was perhaps excited to ask this question more than any other she would ask that day. “Honestly, I don’t know. I think it was just luck of the draw,” Anna answered innocently. Evelyn finally quit her polite facade. “No it wasn’t. Everyone who is chosen to be an Angel of Death is chosen for a reason. Now I know why the Watts brothers were chosen, and I must agree that they were chosen for a logical reason. But no one knows why you were chosen. I have researched your past lives to a great extent, and I still cannot find any clue on why God has chosen you to do this job. So please, tell me, why would he have chosen you to serve at such a high position? Especially after the numerous amounts of applications he received from other more qualified angels to serve as an Angel of Death?” Evelyn asked aggressively. Anna stayed silent for a few moments. Her smile had faded to a look of apathy. “I don’t know why he chose me,” Anna admitted. “Of course you don’t... It just makes no sense to me. Why would He choose someone who is obviously emotionally unstable? You want to hear something? In your past lives, you’ve never lived a life worth living. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were on the short list to become a demon before God made you an angel. Well, kudos to you, you’re the luckiest woman in the world,” Evelyn scowled. Anna refused to show any emotion to Evelyn’s insults. “Well, I’m grateful then,” Anna said calmly. “You’re grateful? Well that’s just great. I’m glad you’re happy murdering a few people a week,” Evelyn said. Anna flinched slightly; hurt by the onslaught of Evelyn’s piercing words. “Well, I want to revisit your spat with Petey a few months ago. Not many angels have forgiven you for that. Why should they?” Evelyn asked. “They shouldn’t. I’m surprised Petey did and I love him for it,” Anna said solemnly. “So you’re happy with nearly all of heaven hating you then?” Evelyn asked. “Sure, as long as it’s not Petey,” Anna said. “Fair enough, and what about Sam?” Evelyn asked. “What have I done to Sam to make him hate me?” Anna asked. “You know the answer to that question,” Evelyn challenged.


“Are you suggesting that I’m cheating on Sam?” “No. I’m being much more specific than that Anna. I’m suggesting that you’re cheating on Sam with a rabbit after drinking yourself retarded,” Evelyn said. “You’re insane,” Anna dismissed. “I bet you were jealous once you found out the rabbit was sleeping with the two lesbians. A lot of women were... Even a demon. Well, it looks like that fling is over so now he’s all your’s,” Evelyn said. “I think we’re done here,” Anna said as she stood up. “Fine, enjoy your life as the luckiest woman in the world,” Evelyn said. “I will, goodbye,” Anna said as she stormed out the room. It felt slightly better for her when she was able to release some of her anger in the other room with her friends. “Holy shit, what is that lady’s problem?” Anna asked John. “No one knows,” John said. “Was it really that bad?” Kurt asked. “Yeah it was. She nearly made me cry in there,” Anna said, almost out of breath. “What did she say to you?” Petey asked quickly. “She told me that my past lives were worthless and that I would have probably become a demon if God hadn’t made me an angel,” Anna said. Petey instantly stood up and started to head for the door. “That’s it, I’m talking to her,” Petey said as he walked quickly to the door. “Petey don’t,” Anna begged. “She wants an interview? I’ll give her one,” Petey said as he opened the door and stepped inside. “Who do you think you are?” Petey stormed in. Evelyn was looking down on her pad of paper as she wrote. “Hello Petey,” she said, not looking up from her pad of paper. “Why do you think you have the right to come in here and insult my friends?” Petey asked with a sharp sense of anger, something rarely found in the rabbit. “Careful, don’t start seeing red, if you know what I mean,” Evelyn said slyly. Petey hesitated, thinking about that night where he couldn’t sleep. That night where all he felt inside him was evil. That night where his eyes only shined with scarlet. Evelyn remembered this night, along with me and many other angels. “You’re worrying a lot of people, Petey. They say you’re changing,” Evelyn said, in the same creepily monotone matter she had kept throughout the interview. “Maybe I am,” Petey replied, this time unflinching as he sat down. “But the question is: is it for the better?” Evelyn asked. Petey stayed silent. “Personally, I miss my innocent little bunny. You used to be my favorite, Petey. But now I’m not sure you’re good at all. Especially after what I saw in your eyes a few weeks ago,” Evelyn said. “Why? What did my eyes show you?” Petey asked sincerely. “No one knows. That’s what scares everyone the most,” Evelyn said. “I’m a cartoon, of course there’s going to be some things that people won’t understand about me. There are many things about myself that I don’t even understand,” Petey said. “If I were you, I’d be terrified then,” Evelyn said, without any sign of sympathy.


“I am terrified. More terrified than you can know,” Petey said with his ears falling to his shoulders. Evelyn paused. She didn’t expect any of the angels to open up like this to her. Unfortunately for Petey, she wasn’t impressed. “Then ask Kurt to end it all, again,” Evelyn suggested. Petey was instantly offended. “Wow, you’re a great reporter, aren’t you? Is that your answer to all of life’s problems? Just kill yourself?” Petey asked sarcastically. “Well, it was Anna’s. Oh, and your demon friend’s too,” Evelyn snapped back. “You know, I’ve never really had the pleasure of meeting someone who’s just... vile to the core. I want to thank you for giving me that opportunity, Evelyn,” Petey said as he extended his hand to shake Evelyn’s. His hand didn’t meet a partner. “You’re funny, Petey. But I like your kinder humor better. Being a sarcastic asshole isn’t really working out for you,” Evelyn said. “Well, maybe if you go away for a long time, I can go back to bringing people that kind humor. But while you’re here, it’s impossible not to make fun of your sheer awfulness,” Petey said. Evelyn only smiled. “Now tell me, Petey. How was last night?” Evelyn said, completely changing the subject. “It was fine. We laughed a bit at your article, but of course you know all that,” Petey said. “Yes, I do know what happened last night. Well... not all of it. I was hoping you would fill me in on the part I missed,” Evelyn started. Petey started to show some signs of worry. “Oh, by the way, how was that hangover-be-gone shake this morning? Was it as enjoyable as that nice vomiting session you had earlier this morning?” Evelyn asked. Petey couldn’t help but look devastated. “That’s right Petey. I know what happened last night, perhaps more than you do. Here’s what I got though; you and Kurt did that pathetic set, and afterwards you couldn’t help but feel stressed by my article, so much so that for the first time in your life, you got shit-faced drunk, along with Anna of course. Too many carrotini’s?” Evelyn said. Petey was frozen in his seat. “You’re small too, so just a little bit of alcohol does a lot for you. But hey, it’s ok to get a little buzzed every now and then, right? Well here’s what’s interesting, Petey; at 2:34 AM, you and Anna went to your room, and for whatever reason, God decided to censor you and Anna’s connection to heaven. That means no one could see what happened for the next 2 hours,” Evelyn continued. Petey couldn’t feel himself breath anymore. “I need to know, what happened during those 2 hours?” Evelyn asked. Petey stayed silent for a few moments, before finally answering. “You’re lying,” Petey accused. “I assure you, I am not. I just need to know what happened during those 2 hours,” Evelyn repeated. “Nothing happened, you’re crazy,” Petey said frantically as he started to stand up. “What happened during those 2 hours, Petey?” Evelyn asked, raising her voice loud enough to frighten Petey. “I don’t know!” Petey admitted. Evelyn wasn’t surprised, as she simply wrote in her pad of paper. Silence tormented Petey as Evelyn continued to write without an answer. When she was done, she finally spoke.


“Well, there are three reasons why God may censor someone’s life from heaven’s eyes: masturbation, sexual intercourse, or what he describes as ‘other.’ Which one is it, Petey?” Evelyn asked, raising her eyebrow. “Leave me alone,” Petey said as he headed for the door. “Which is it, Petey?” Evelyn asked in that same loud voice. “Just leave me alone!” Petey yelled back as he turned towards her. Evelyn then said something that surprised Petey. He was surprised not only by what she said, but how she said it with a compassionate and sincere voice. “You deserve better than her,” Evelyn said softly. Petey approached Evelyn slowly. His ears hung low to the ground as his eyes stared into hers. Though his eyes weren’t scarlet like that had been before, they might as well have been. “Now listen to me. You will never speak to Anna ever again. You will never write anything more about her. You will leave her alone. Say anything you want about me, but if you hurt Anna anymore... I will send you back to heaven myself,” Petey threatened. Evelyn didn’t speak as Petey walked out the door. As Petey walked out, he clenched onto his ears, pulling them down as far as they could go. “I can’t believe that woman,” he said in a rage as he quickly paced over to his room. The other angels watched as Petey stormed into his room. Kurt looked worried as he slowly stood up and walked towards the door at the other side of the room. Kurt entered into the room where Evelyn sat ominously. He kept a comfortable composure to try to prevent Evelyn from cracking him as she had done with Anna and Petey. “Hello,” Kurt said as friendly as he could. Despite his efforts, the introduction only came out with a neutral tone. Evelyn smiled and nodded. “Good morning Kurt, how are you feeling?” Evelyn answered, trumping Kurt’s effort to be friendly. Kurt decided not to even try anymore. “Well, you’ve crushed two of my friends, so not great. I have to admit, I’ve never seen Petey that angry before. Congratulations,” Kurt said. “Thank you, please take a seat,” Evelyn said, keeping her same creepily calm composure she had kept for most of the interviews. Kurt didn’t seem intimidated, however. “So what are you going to ask me? If I feel bad about what I do?” Kurt asked. “Oh Kurt, I know that already. That’s actually why you’re my favorite angel. You hate being an angel. In fact, you’re the only one who seemed happier before you became an angel than you are now. That’s a first, actually. It’s especially surprising after all the good things you’ve received after becoming an angel: fame, a beautiful girlfriend, a cartoon for a best friend. But answer honestly, do you wish you could go back to your previous life?” Evelyn asked. “Honestly? No. I’d rather stay here,” Kurt said. Evelyn looked surprised. “Really? That’s shocking, actually. Especially after watching you for so long... It just seems like you want to go back,” Evelyn continued. “I mean, I miss my old life, but I do have things in this life that I cherish and couldn’t live without now,” Kurt answered. “It just seems like you really hate who you are sometimes,” Evelyn noticed. “I hate how I’ve become a role model. Especially with what I do,” Kurt said. “You don’t want a responsibility like that?” Evelyn asked.


“It’s not that... It’s just... People know me because I’m an angel who kills people. I shouldn’t be a role model. In fact, people should hate me for what I do. But instead they see me as a hero,” Kurt said. “You aren’t a hero?” “No. I’m not,” Kurt answered sternly. Evelyn paused for a few moments. “Well Kurt... I have to admit, I completely agree with you. I wish God would have just left you alone. I never saw you in your previous life, but from what I’ve heard from Him, you were happy. He shouldn’t have forced you to change that,” Evelyn said. “Might as well be me, though,” Kurt said. Evelyn searched to switch topics. “Let’s talk about your past life, Kurt. Most people know little about it. You were born in Georgia?” Evelyn started. “Yes, northern Georgia. Sam and I had lived there all our lives in a little town called Hiawassee,” Kurt continued. “What about your family?” Evelyn asked. “We never knew any other relatives but our parents. Mom died when we were teenagers. Sam didn’t take it very well. Dad died when I turned 21. I didn’t take that very well,” Kurt said. “Any friends?” “Yeah I had a few at a little comedy club down in Young Harris. We also had a few around town, not much more than friendly acquaintances though,” Kurt continued. “No friends that would recognize you today then?” Evelyn asked. “I guess not. I mean, during our high school years practically the whole town knew each other. Dad had his restaurant, but it closed down after he died. After that people just started leaving. Soon Sam and I were the only ones left. Sure, new people would come now and then, but no one ever stayed. I wonder whatever happened to everyone in that town. I’m surprised none of them have stepped out to the media telling how they used to know us,” Kurt pondered. “They were probably too humble to do that,” Evelyn suggested. “Perhaps... Maybe they don’t remember us anyway,” Kurt said. “Well, the world’s going to remember you forever now.” “I wish it was for a different reason,” Kurt responded coldly. “You and Petey are probably known more for your stand-up act than your life as an angel. Aren’t you glad that you’ve been able to reach the widest possible crowd you could get?” Evelyn asked. “Yes, that’s really one of the reasons I still stay down here. By the way, what did you say that made Petey so mad?” Kurt asked. “Ask him yourself sometime,” Evelyn responded sharply. “Seriously, how’d you get poor little Petey so stressed out? Seems a little brutal to me,” Kurt said. “Petey worries me,” Evelyn said honestly. Kurt turned his head in confusion. “Why?” “Honestly? I feel that he’s not what you think he is. I feel that you’ve played the part of Dr. Frankenstein and he’s the monster. You never gave him the ability to handle the world, and now it’s changing him,” Evelyn said. “You’re calling the rabbit a monster? That’s a little bold,” Kurt said, as his comfort with Evelyn slowly faded.


“Something bad is going to happen with him. He’s unnatural. You didn’t make him like God makes a normal being. People aren’t going to accept him for much longer, and it’s going to drive him to hurt someone,” Evelyn said. “Petey is not going to hurt anyone,” Kurt said sternly. “He’s killed 48 people already,” Evelyn said. “You know those don’t count, they were condemned,” Kurt defended. “But he has the capability of killing someone without flinching. In fact, after watching you angels for so long, he’s the best at killing people. He’s never earned a scratch on his body during a kill. While he has the least amount of kills, he’s growing more powerful. If he loses control, which I think he will, that power is no longer going to be in the hands of you... or even God for that matter,” Evelyn said. “So what do you suggest I should do?” Kurt asked. “Remove him. Put him back in your mind,” Evelyn said with no sign of sympathy. “No,” Kurt instantly responded. Evelyn paused, staring at Kurt in disbelief. “Then quit. Quit being an Angel of Death. Take Petey with you, he can’t do harm in heaven,” Evelyn suggested firmly. “What about Sam? Jessica? Anna?” Kurt asked frantically. Evelyn sighed, knowing that what she was about to say was going to anger Kurt. “Let Sam stay here. He’s a barbarian, and watching people die makes him happy. You don’t belong with Jessica, you’re a sweet guy and she’s a dirty whore. And don’t worry about Anna, she’ll probably kill herself once Petey leaves anyway,” Evelyn said frankly. Kurt stayed silent for a few seconds. “Alright, it’s official,” Kurt started as he stood up. Evelyn was confused, but tried not to show it. “What is official?” Evelyn asked. Kurt finally snapped. “That you’re a horrific bitch. Please... Please tell me how the fuck a person like you gets into heaven? I mean, honestly; how the hell did you earn your spot in heaven? From treating people like this? From trying to make people feel like shit for being who they are? I really hope you don’t seriously believe any of these theories you keep suggesting, because if you do; you are fucking psycho. Jesus Christ, what the fuck were they thinking when they let you into heaven? A person like you should be in hell, so you can’t try to hurt anyone else with your horrible mouth,” Kurt ranted. After some silence, Evelyn did something that Kurt didn’t expect. She started laughing. “Now what the hell is so funny?” Kurt demanded. “It’s just that you’re so fucking clueless, I find it funny,” Evelyn said, still giggling. “I may be clueless, but at least I’m a decent person,” Kurt snapped back. “You want to know how I became an angel?” Evelyn asked. “Yes, very much so.” “Fine, I’ll show you,” Evelyn said. She reached down to the ground below her seat. There was nothing there, but when she reached back up, she had a large book in her hand. She handed it to Kurt. It was a Christian Bible. “Can you tell me what that is?” Evelyn asked. “It’s the Bible,” Kurt answered. Evelyn smiled. “I wrote it,” Evelyn said. Kurt couldn’t hide his shock. “What?”


“I wrote the Bible, now look in your hand again,” Evelyn said. Kurt looked down in his hand to see the book completely changed. He opened it, and some Arabic language was written throughout it. “That’s the Quran, I wrote that as well,” Evelyn said. Kurt looked down to the floor and saw books littered around the floor. Some were thick and old, others were new and thin. “I wrote all these books. Of course, not physically. I channeled through the authors that are credited for writing them. I told them exactly what to write as they wrote it. They often did not know I was doing this, but I was behind their backs the whole time. I created religion,” Evelyn explained. Kurt looked down at the books, picking up a random book. On the cover he saw letters that spelled “Dianetics.” “And this is why you got into heaven? For writing religious texts?” Kurt asked. “Not exactly. Before humankind was created, God made angels to help him monitor the world. While he tries to take credit for a lot of the creation of the world, he still has twelve original angels. Each of these original angels has a specific job. John is one of them, though his job changed a bit. He used to be the controller of Hell, but now that Hell’s gone, he just controls you. I control religion. I make sure people believe in something,” Evelyn explained further. “Why do people need to believe in something? Aren’t wars started over religion?” Kurt asked. “Because God thinks that people need to have faith in something. I just think he just wants to mess with you humans though,” Evelyn said. “What about the ten other original angels?” Kurt asked. “I don’t know who they are. No one but God knows who they are,” Evelyn admitted. “So this is how you got into heaven? By default for being an original angel?” Kurt asked. “Yes.” “Well, good to see whoever controls who gets into heaven or not is not completely nuts. Thanks for telling me that, now please get the hell out of here,” Kurt said. Evelyn looked down at her pad of paper, and grabbed the pencil from her hair. She wrote for a few moments, and then stood up. “I suppose I have what I need. Thank you, Kurt,” Evelyn said as she walked towards the door. She entered the living room before Kurt, and saw Anna and Sam on the couch with John over in the kitchen. They all had rage on their faces towards Evelyn. Evelyn smiled smugly. “Well, thank you for the interviews. Now that I see everything here is nice and destroyed, I’ll be on my way now. Good bye,” she said plainly as she walked out the front door. Kurt approached John. “So, do you mind explaining why you never told us who she was?” Kurt asked. Anna and Sam peeked up in interest towards Kurt’s harsh tone in his voice. John seemed unchanged. “She told you, huh?” John assumed. “Yes she did John, or should I call you Satan?” Kurt asked. John couldn’t help but let out a slight laugh to his new name. “Please Kurt, just because I used to be the controller of Hell doesn’t mean I’m a fallen angel,” John responded. Sam stood up and walked to the kitchen with Kurt and John.


“Wait, what is Kurt talking about?” Sam asked. “Evelyn’s one of the first angels God created. She wrote every religious text on Earth. John’s another one of those original angels, and he used to watch over Hell,” Kurt explained quickly. Sam couldn’t keep up. “It’s true, sadly. That bitch is one of the closest connections to God you can find,” John admitted. Kurt walked to the living room and sat along the bench near the window, clenching his eyes in frustration with his fingers. “She’s killing us,” Kurt said. “Don’t let her do that. You’re stronger than her,” John demanded. “I’m stronger than one of the first beings ever created? I doubt that,” Kurt said, defeated. “You’d be surprised,” John said as Kurt was staring at the floor. When he looked up, John had left. Kurt looked around, not surprised to see John leave so rudely. Sam and Anna looked at each other with the same look of worry. Jessica was sitting at the kitchen, trying to think of what she could do for Kurt. “He could have at least said goodbye,” Sam said as he stood up and walked towards Kurt. Kurt in turn sat back down on the couch, pressing his faces against his face, wishing he was back home in Georgia again. Jessica finally spoke up from the kitchen. “Come on guys, you know she was just trying to tear you down. She just knows where to hurt you the most. Whatever she said doesn’t mean anything as long as you don’t make it mean anything,” Jessica said. Kurt looked up at his girlfriend, and let out a small smile. As the next hour passed by, the four angels tried not to think about what Evelyn had punished them for. They tried to pass off her comments as false or overly pessimistic. They tried to understand why she would have made herself the enemy to her own kind. But what if she was right? That was the question each angel tormented themselves with. What if Sam had stopped caring about the lives he took or the lives he affected as an angel? What if Anna really did deserve to be banished from Earth and live as a demon? What if Petey had finally lost his last shred of innocence, and was now a danger to the world? What if we don’t know who our real enemies are? The signal... Part Three: The Backlot Hotel “God dammit,” Kurt muttered as the signal blazed across the angels’ eyes. The signal made Sam instantly twitch as he stood up from the couch and walked towards the door at the other side of the room. Kurt and Anna quickly followed as he opened the door to read The List. Shortly after, Petey reluctantly teleported in, still not fully calmed down from his interview with Evelyn. He looked up at Anna nervously, wondering whether she had figured out what they had done the night before. Petey guessed that she hadn’t because she gave a soft smile towards him as Sam and Kurt read over The List. “Shit, it’s a bulk-kill,” Kurt said, referring to a kill with many different victims.


“All the more fun,” Sam said as he scrolled down the names on The List. Before they could teleport, they heard Jessica’s voice yell at them from the living room. “Hey guys! Check out the television!” she shouted. The four quickly dashed into the living room. On the television was a news broadcast featuring many reporters at the scene of a scummy hotel in Atlantic City. “We’re here at The Backlot Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City where there is a hostage situation. There appears to be fifteen terrorists holding up the hotel...” the reporter started. Sam quickly checked The List, seeing fifteen names on it. “This must be the site of the kill,” Sam said. Kurt sighed, and turned towards Jessica. “These guys are going to be dangerous, so I’m going to make a map of the hotel. I need you to monitor it and report where the terrorists are and where they are going. I’ll make us ear pieces so we can communicate with each other,” Kurt said as he drew up a large three-dimensional map for Jessica. Jessica quickly learned to manipulate it as Kurt made ear pieces for everyone. Kurt had become much more creative in his use of the power of Humor. He would often map out his kills to make them safer and more effective. He would usually make inventions to help the angels work together instead of aimlessly separating during the kills. He often used Jessica to watch over their kills, who never hesitated to help. She was happy enough to know what Kurt was doing during kills. “Ok, there’s six on the roof of the hotel, three on the seventh floor, four on the tenth floor, and two on the fifth floor,” Jessica said as she looked closely into the map. She had become well-accustomed in deciphering and correctly reading Kurt’s somewhat complicated maps. “Thanks love. Sam, you handle the roof. Petey do the seventh floor. I’ll take the tenth floor and Anna takes the fifth floor,” Kurt suggested, as the other three nodded. Kurt gave a quick kiss to Jessica and teleported away to the kill with the other three.

“Can everybody hear me?” Kurt asked from the tenth floor of the Backlot Hotel through his hand-drawn earpiece. “Here,” Sam said softly from the roof. He had hidden behind an air-vat. The six terrorists were in plain sight for Sam, conversing about something Sam couldn’t overhear. Sam disguised himself into his angelic appearance and silently took out his weapons. He knew teleporting straight to the group wouldn’t be wise, each of them had an automatic weapon in their hands, and Sam knew he couldn’t take them all out in one move. “Here,” Anna said from fifth floor. She was in the main lobby of the floor, in front of six closed elevator doors. Nobody dared showed themselves in the hotel, and everything was eerily silent. The lobby bisected into two halls, one to the left and one to the right. Anna chose to take the right side as she slowly walked down the hall. She saw only one door open at the end of the hall and she slowly approached it.


“Here,” Petey said on the seventh floor. He ended up in an abandoned hotel room. The sheets were all over the floor, and the television was stationed on the news, blaring loudly through the room. Petey heard rumbling from the hall; shortly after he heard words on the other side of the doorway. He looked around the room, and found a bag full of various weapons. As he approached the bag, he realized that the room he was in was not abandoned, but instead the terrorists’ hotel room. “This isn’t good,” Petey muttered as he turned to the door. He heard a sort of clicking noise, as if someone was opening the door. Sure enough, the door opened within moments and three men in black jumpsuits casually walked in. In Petey’s eyes, they were scarlet red. When one of the terrorists finally turned to see Petey, the scene turned chaotic. Two of the condemned pulled out firearms, and aimed them directly at Petey. The one without a gun finally spoke. “Kill it,” he grunted. Petey tried to keep a calm composure as he quickly thought of what to do. He decided to draw up a barrier in front of himself to block the bullets that were to come. Fortunately he did this quickly enough to save himself as the two terrorists shot off their guns. Petey had decided to label the material he had created: Rubber. Its effects were greatly exaggerated compared to a regular block of rubber. Bullets ricocheted directly back to their source, striking the two terrorists who had fired them through their skulls. They fell flat to the floor, leaving the last terrorist in a stun. Petey let down his rubber barrier, knowing that the final kill didn’t have a firearm on him. Sam decided to use a less tongue-in-cheek approach to his victims. He quickly teleported to the terrorist furthest away from him and struck his blade through his back. As the five other terrorists watched Sam’s blade protruding out of the chest of their teammate, they all uncovered their weapons. Sam quickly teleported behind his next victim before the gunfire from the terrorists started. Using his clean blade, Sam sliced through the neck of his next victim. This victim fell slowly to the ground as Sam teleported behind his next target. He slashed him quickly and teleported back to his hiding place, leaving the three terrorists in a confused panic. “Get the fuck out here, you pussy!” one of the terrorists yelled. Sam smirked as he peered out from his hiding spot. None of the victims could sense him behind the air-vat as he planned out his next move against the three remaining villains. “You guys don’t stand a chance,” Sam murmured confidently as he let his blades breathe out with a quick swing and teleported to a victim unfortunately close to the edge of the roof. The stormy clouds of his own act of teleportation disguised Sam as he kicked the terrorist with both feet in the air off the building. A faint cry for help was heard as Sam peeked out over the edge. “Hope he didn’t land on someone,” Sam said to himself. He quickly turned to the next two people he planned to kill. One was standing with an Uzi aiming straight at Sam


to the left, and the other was unarmed to the right. Sam chose to take out the one on the left. He did this by teleporting behind the victim and slicing his right blade through the terrorist’s torso. Sam’s victim fell to the floor in two chunks. The victim to the right, however, used this time to quickly dash off. Sam only caught the sight of the runner’s feet sprinting out the door to the stairs. “Fuck, don’t make me chase you,” Sam said with an annoyed tone. Anna tried to make her kill as quiet and quick as possible. She crept down the hall on the fifth floor towards an open door at the end of the hall. Voices could be heard from the open door, but everywhere else around the hotel was completely dead silent. Suddenly the open door let out a scarlet colored man, who didn’t catch a glimpse of Anna before she used the power of Stealth to make herself invisible. The man in red seemed to stay in a rather casual mood for being a wanted man. He went back into the hotel room as Anna silently inched her way closer to the door, invisible to the naked eye. “Jessica, can you hear me?” Anna whispered into her ear piece. Jessica instantly answered from back at the loft. “Yes Anna, there are two men in the hotel room, only one of them is armed. I can’t tell exactly what the weapon is, but it looks like some sort of firearm,” Jessica replied back on the ear piece. “Ok, I’m going for it,” Anna said softly as she quickly ran into the hotel room. She made sure her footsteps weren’t too loud as she turned into the hotel room. Jessica was right; two men were in the hotel room, one lying on the bed with a semi-automatic gun in his lap. The other was continuously walking around the room, as if he were checking for something. Anna dashed for the one with the weapon. Both the terrorists didn’t notice Anna’s presence as she took out her dagger. With one quick motion, she stuck the knife into the neck of the terrorist lying on the bed. Black blood spewed out over the bed as Anna quickly moved away to avoid having blood spilt on her. “Jerry what the hell are you doing?” the alive terrorist said as he saw ‘Jerry’s’ neck flood over with thick black liquid. “Oh shit…” the victim realized that his partner was quickly dying on the bed and ran off into the hall. Anna couldn’t catch him in time as she made herself visible again. She sprinted to the hall, and saw that the victim had ran into the stairwell. “Damn it, he ran into the stairwell,” Anna said as she ran after him. “Wait, did you say the stairwell?” Sam said on the ear piece from upstairs. “Jessica, is Anna in the same stairwell as me?” Sam asked. “Yes, Sam you’re above Anna,” Jessica replied. “Ok good, you’ll be able to catch my last kill,” Sam said. “Fine, where is it?” Anna asked, looking around. “I don’t know, I just threw him off the railing,” Sam replied calmly. Suddenly Anna saw a body fall down the open area in the middle of the stairwell. On its way down, the body happened to smack against another railing on a lower floor, ringing with a loud clank. Sam looked over the railing to see his kill at the bottom of the stairwell, obliterated on impact with the cold cement. “God damn it, Sam,” Anna said as she rushed downstairs to catch her last kill.


Kurt was having less fun with his kills than Sam. On the tenth floor, Kurt was already in a battle with the four other terrorists. Every one of them had an automatic gun. Kurt protected himself behind a small planter in the elevator lobby. The terrorists were quite trigger-happy, as bullets constantly flew about in the open room. Only a mirror at the end of the hall provided Kurt with a view of men shooting at him. Sure enough, seconds later the mirror was broken by a renegade bullet. Kurt didn’t dare peek his head out from the planter, with fear of being instantly shot. “Jessica, I’m stuck here. I can’t move or else these motherfuckers will shoot me. Can you tell me where they are in the room so I can just think of something?” Kurt said into his earpiece. “There’s one near the left elevator, he’s literally leaning against the doors,” Jessica said quickly. Kurt couldn’t quite see the victim, so he drew up a thick black line with the power of Humor. The black line seemed to come straight from Kurt’s palm, as it stretched out like a live snake. The line slithered along in mid-air, slowly moving its way towards the elevator door. The terrorists all starting shooting at the line, only to have their bullets ricochet off. The snake-line found its first victim, who looked stunned as the line moved its way over to him. The line pounced like a cobra towards its prey, and the sharp black line pierced into the terrorist’s heart, instantly killing him. All the other terrorists quickly retaliated by continuing to shoot at Kurt’s snakeline. Kurt responded by swinging the snake-line across the room, as it swept across with its razor-sharp edges. It sliced through a victim near the south window, cutting his head off. The other two terrorists managed to escape the snake-line and ran down the hall. Kurt retired his snake-line and pulled out his two guns. He carelessly aimed down the hall and started firing. Before any bullets could hit anything, the two terrorists had retreated into an open hotel room. “You God damn rabbit,” the last terrorist standing said to Petey on the seventh floor. Two terrorists were left dead with bullet holes from their own guns. “Sorry about your friends,” Petey said softly, as he looked down at the mess on the floor. “No, I’m sorry about yours…” the terrorist replied darkly. Petey looked confused at his statement. “… We’re blowing this whole shit-hole up. Over three hundred hostages downstairs in the lobby, we all agreed that if the mission fails we destroy everything, even ourselves,” the terrorist said, almost laughing at the idea. “What mission?” Petey asked frantically. The terrorist didn’t answer Petey’s question, instead pulled out a small pocket knife and charged towards Petey. Petey quickly stepped out of the way, leaving a small item on the floor. He drew up a banana peel that the terrorist conveniently slipped on. The terrorist fell face first into the large window with enough force to break the window and fall seven stories to the ground. Petey looked impressed as he watched the whole act. “Wow, I can’t believe that actually worked.” Meanwhile, three floors above Petey, Kurt was approaching another hotel room, knowing that he needed to kill two more people. He had his two guns held up in his hands as he continued to walk down the hall towards the open door. He wondered


whether the last two terrorists would still be armed, or even worse, find more weapons in the hotel room they entered. Jessica watched closely from the loft. Instead of keeping her attention on Kurt, however, she watched the two terrorists in the room. She could only see green outlines of the terrorists in the hotel room, so she couldn’t quite tell what they were doing, but by the map, it was very odd. “What are they doing in there, Jess?” Kurt asked through the earpiece. “I don’t know; it’s very strange. One seems to be near the window aiming his gun towards the door, while the other one is lying down with his arms and legs spread out right next to the door,” Jessica said. “Why is one of them lying on the floor?” Kurt asked. “I don’t know; he might be dead. Did you shoot him?” Jessica asked. “I might have hit him before he went into the hotel room,” Kurt said as he continued to walk gingerly down the hall. He was only five doors away from the terrorists’ room. “Well, he isn’t moving,” Jessica stated, fixated at the map Kurt drew for her. “I’m going in then,” Kurt said as he picked up his pace and readied himself for another shoot-out. Jessica kept staring at the map, watching the man lying on the ground with his arms and legs stretched out. She saw Kurt dash towards the room on the map. Suddenly the man ‘lying on the floor’ moved slightly in a very odd fashion. Jessica then knew what the man was doing. “No, Kurt! Wait!” Jessica yelled from the loft… (Even though I’m the creator of the universe, I am not the best writer. I don’t know if you’ve been able to tell so far. I try to be sufficient enough to appeal to all audiences. I try to avoid clichés. However, I must use this cliché right now.) …But it was too late. (Sorry…) The man on the floor was not dead. He was not on the floor at all. It turns out that the man was quite a flexible and strong man. He had been able to hide himself by pressing his arms and legs across the narrow doorway, lifting himself to the ceiling of the hotel room. As Kurt ran into hotel room, he only saw the man near the window. Of course, the man at the window started shooting wildly at Kurt. Of course, Kurt was smart enough to draw himself a barrier to shield himself from the bullets. Of course, Kurt then shot the man, killing him, while also shooting out the window. Of course, the man holding himself against the walls of the hotel room dropped down behind Kurt and hit him on the back of the head with a crow bar. Of course, the blunt force made Kurt pass out instantly. “Kurt? Kurt!” Jessica panicked from the loft. She only saw the man overtake Kurt while Kurt fell to the ground. She saw the man pick up Kurt’s seemingly lifeless body onto his shoulders. Luckily, Jessica’s cries towards Kurt could be heard by the rest of the angels over the earpiece. “What happened?” Petey asked quickly. “One of the guys hit Kurt and he’s passed out,” Jessica explained in a calm panic. “Where is he?” Petey continued as he started to rush out of the room he was in. Jessica zoomed out her digital map. “He’s in the room three floors above you. Right above you, actually,” Jessica said as she watched the map intensely. She saw the man carry Kurt towards the window. The window had been completely shattered due to Kurt’s bullets. Jessica guessed what the man was going to do with Kurt.


“Shit! I think he’s throwing Kurt out the window!” Jessica’s calm composure instantly cracked. Jessica was right; the man chucked Kurt out the open window. As Kurt started his very brief, ten story journey to the pavement below, Petey had turned himself towards the broken window in his room. Petey watched the window closely. Sure enough, he saw Kurt’s body rapidly fall past his floor. Petey quickly jumped out the window on the seventh floor, trying to catch Kurt, who was falling about ten feet ahead of Petey. Petey knew he was too light to catch up with Kurt by just falling along with him. He quickly set his target and teleported to Kurt. He grabbed Kurt’s hand as the two passed the fourth floor of the hotel. Petey looked up and picked his next target. He tried to teleport up to the tenth floor, but couldn’t teleported straight inside. He couldn’t see where to teleport, so he just teleported as high as he thought he should. He missed his first teleportation, he went too high. He was about twelve stories up and then continued to fall. On his way down, he saw the open window of the room Kurt’s last victim was in. He even saw the victim watching Petey and Kurt fall back down. Petey tried teleporting again, and this time teleported to the right spot. However, the terrorist left in the room had found the other terrorist’s gun, and started shooting at Petey and Kurt as they teleported back up. Petey was able to dodge the bullets as they continued to fall. Kurt’s guns were still in Kurt’s hands, and Petey took one from his hand. After one more teleportation to the tenth floor, Petey quickly aimed Kurt’s gun at the terrorist at the window. Turns out the rabbit has good aim. He shot the terrorist with one shot in the forehead. Petey then teleported the two back into the room and set Kurt down on the bed. Kurt had woken up during the falls and had actually watched most of the strange fight Petey had with the terrorist. Even though Kurt’s eyes were wide awake, Petey assumed that Kurt wasn’t able to think clearly yet. “Are you ok?” Petey asked. Kurt didn’t answer right away, instead smiled and laughed quietly to himself. Petey looked around, confused by Kurt’s laughter. “Is there something funny going on?” Petey asked. Kurt finally spoke after his laughter died. “I’m just really glad I created you.” Anna was in the stairwell, chasing down her last victim down the circular stairs. She could see the terrorist down one floor below her, running for his life. Anna continued to run down as fast as she could, trying to catch the last kill. Numbers were on the cement wall inside the stairwell, which stated the floor number. Anna had just passed the third floor and saw the kill just below her. She decided to jump a floor down in the middle of the stairwell. But she missed the kill. That is, the kill didn’t run away, but was instead stolen from Anna by Sam. Sam had simply teleported to the bottom floor, assuming that was where the terrorist heading. The kill was not finished yet, though. Sam was only able slice the victim’s arm. The victim was able to stagger out the stairwell door and into the casino filled with hostages. Sam and Anna followed behind, ready to finish the job. The terrorist was bleeding heavily from the wound Sam had inflicted. The victim’s black blood created a trail behind him as he limped along, holding his cut with his other hand. The casino was crowded with all the people who were ordered to stay


there. The slot machines, while bright and flashy, were silent. The terrorist stumbled to one of the slot machines before Sam grabbed his hair. He yanked the terrorist’s head back as the victim screamed in pain. But as Kurt had done, the terrorist started giving out a very strange laughter. Anna looked worried, Sam looked annoyed. The laughter continued to escalate. The terrorist slowly lifted his injured arm. In his hand was a small metal object. Anna took a closer look, and identified it as some sort of detonator. “Boom,” the terrorist said in between his maniacal laughter. Sam quickly turned to try to find the bomb. The rest of the casino went into a panic, as the terrorist continued to laugh. He raised his arm into the air, showing the detonator to everyone. “Bye bye,” the terrorist uttered his last words. He then pressed the button on the detonator. Nothing. The terrorist’s laughter instantly stopped. He looked at his detonator, and started pressing the button rapidly over and over again. Sam and Anna smirked, knowing that the bomb had somehow been deactivated. “Looking for this?” Kurt said as he and Petey came in. In Petey’s hands was a large metal box with many broken wires. “We found your guys’ blueprints of the hotel on the seventh floor, which showed us where you put the bomb. I believe this is it?” Kurt said, signaling to the box in Petey’s hands. The villain had completely given up at that point. “Well, that really sucks for you,” Sam said to the terrorist as he dragged him next to a slot machine. “You got a quarter?” asked the terrorist. The terrorist didn’t respond, only giving a defeated look upon his face. Sam reached down into the terrorist’s pocket. Sure enough, there was some change in there, and he took a quarter and put it into the slot machine. Sam pulled down the lever on the machine, and impaled the terrorist’s head on the lever. He let the terrorist’s body hang on the lever as the machine started to spin. Bar – Bar – Cherry. “Tough luck,” Sam said as the angels left the casino to teleport back home. Part Four: Cheerleaders “Wow, that was a fun one,” Sam said when the angels arrived back at the loft. Jessica rushed to Kurt to make sure he was ok. “How’s your head?” Jessica asked. “It’s fine, it hurts a little but it’ll be fine within an hour,” Kurt said, rubbing the back of his head. He looked at the clock, which read at about 1:00. “What’s going on for the rest of the day?” Anna asked, afraid that the loft would go back to the same awkward mood it was in after Evelyn interviewed the angels. “We have a show tonight at nine. Until then I could make us some lunch,” Kurt said as he headed for the kitchen.


Despite all the shit that happened with Evelyn, the day went on fairly comfortably. The angels spent the rest of the day trying to relax, especially all that had happened that day. Sam spent most of his day writing. Kurt and Jessica spent some personal time with each other. Anna spent her time letting Petey cheer her up as they watched television in the living room. Though Anna couldn’t notice it, Petey couldn’t help but remember what Evelyn had told him. When Kurt and Petey’s set had finished, Petey snuck back home shortly after. He was afraid to be around Anna at that point, especially when the drinks started going around. Petey teleported back to the loft in the living room. He started to walk to his room, until a familiar voice interrupted him. “Want a drink?” John said from the kitchen. In his hand was a glass of scotch as he leaned against the counter. “That’s not funny yet,” Petey said with a small smile. “Why aren’t you with the others?” John asked as he took a sip of scotch. “You saw Evelyn’s interview with me, didn’t you?” Petey asked, knowing John always watched everything the angels did. “Well, yeah… But that doesn’t answer my question now does it?” John said. “You feel guilty because you think that you slept with Anna?” John assumed. Petey paused for a moment, analyzing John’s assumption. “Did I sleep with her?” Petey asked, not remembering the night before. “No. You two got drunk and passed out. That’s all that happened, I promise you,” John said assuredly. “But… Why would Evelyn lie about that?” Petey asked. John couldn’t help but laugh a bit. “Are you serious, Petey? She’s the best liar to ever exist, that’s her job. You just believed one of her lies,” John said. Petey sighed as he walked to the modular couch in the living room. He fell onto the couch, letting his whole body lie across it. “I’m such an idiot,” Petey said as he covered his eyes with his own ears. John walked over and sat on the armchair. “You’re not an idiot. Millions of people fall for her lies every day,” John said. John knew that this didn’t make Petey feel any better. He knew there was a bigger problem than Petey’s belief in Evelyn’s lie. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?” John asked, referring to Anna. “Since day one,” Petey admitted instantly. His ears were still covered over his eyes in anguish, trying to hide him from reality. “I mean… what the heck am I gonna do? Why can’t I just shut up my own heart and keep things the way they are?” Petey asked himself aloud. John paused for a moment. He watched the rabbit beat himself up on the couch. A new sense of sympathy filled into John’s mind. “You know… I think you might be the only person I’ve ever actually respected,” John said plainly. Petey’s ears uncovered his eyes, which looked to John in an extremely confused fashion. “Of course, I guess I haven’t really hung out with the right type of people… being the controller of hell and all… But it seems like everyone up ‘there’ spends most of their time watching someone down here. I mean, it’s like people just become cheerleaders for those they left behind. Everyone has someone to ‘root’ for down on Earth. I just never understood it. People aren’t heroic; they aren’t interesting; they’re just… human. But I root for you, Petey,” John said in a strangely passionate voice.


“What about the others? You don’t root for them?” Petey asked. “Oh God no… Kurt’s a whiner, Sam’s a dick, and Anna’s unstable. But you’re just… Petey… the rabbit,” John explained. “You know, I find it strange that you’re opening up to me like this,” Petey said with a small laugh. John smiled. “I don’t know; I’ve just always liked you. And that’s strange because I don’t like people,” John said. “That might be it; I’m a rabbit,” Petey suggested. John ventured back to the original subject. “Don’t worry about Anna. You’re strong enough to let her go. She’s happy with Sam; you know not to ruin that. And if the urge becomes too much, go ahead and ‘shoot off some stress,’” John said. Petey laughed, remembering what Chelsea and Sarah had told him. “I just might actually… Oh yeah, another thing…” Petey started. John already knew what Petey was about to ask. “You’re worried about what that ‘red’ is in your eyes?” John assumed. “I’m really worried actually. Is it true that even God doesn’t know what’s wrong with me?” Petey asked nervously. “It’s true; he doesn’t know what it is. And it’s true that it’s scaring him. But I honestly think that it’s nothing,” John said. “But I felt so…different when it happened. Is it because I’m changing?” Petey asked. “I don’t think so. I think Kurt just left something in you and forgot to tell you about it,” John said. “I think I’ll just ask him about it,” Petey said. “That’s probably the best idea,” John said. There was a brief pause in the room as Petey walked to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of carrot juice. “…So I’m really the only person you’ve ever liked?” Petey asked as he walked back to the living room. “Definitely,” John answered. Petey raised his glass. “Well John, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” Petey said, quoting Casablanca, as he toasted with John. “I agree,” John said as he took a drink of scotch. “Can I call you ‘Grandpa?’” Petey asked. “Absolutely not.” Episode Fourteen: 1492 Part 1: Eddy Another month passed by. Fall was in full swing, which in New York meant a dramatic change in the weather. The angels continued to do their job effectively. Evelyn Baxter never did print her article. In fact, she resigned AngelEye altogether. When asked why, she simply responded that “getting into the angels’ heads was simply too easy.” But for the next series of events, I will not be your narrator (bummer, isn’t it?). As I looked back on what happened during this particular time, I felt that I could not be a sufficient narrator for this event. Instead, I decided to reach into Sam’s mind. He agreed to let me use his own account of the time. I found a record of Sam’s thoughts during this time, and decided to recreate them in order to tell the story you are about to read. Enjoy.


Today’s the first day in a week in which the sun actually woke me up. I feel like I haven’t seen it in forever. I’m fine with it; I don’t care much for the sun. In fact, autumn is probably my favorite season of the year. The air is crisp in contrast to the dewy and humid weather the spring and the summer brings, yet it is not as harshly cold as the winter will eventually bring. I turn over in my bed. Anna’s sleeping to the right of me. I could have sworn I was holding her in my sleep, but I woke up turned away from her. Her sunny hair covers her pale neck as I gently brush it aside to see her face. Despite my slight disdain for the sun, it does make her look even more beautiful as she quietly dozes next to me. I turn to my nightstand, looking at the clock upon it. 9:21. We slept in a bit. I don’t mind. I can smell a mixture of waffles and chocolate coming from the kitchen. Kurt must be experimenting with breakfast. I look forward to eating whatever the hell he just made. I slowly and softly kiss Anna’s neck to wake her. It takes her a few seconds to notice. When she does, she smiles. I smile back. “Good morning,” I whisper to her. She comfortably turns towards me and looks into my eyes with her grassy green eyes. “How was the kill last night?” she asks. She is referring to the signal we both felt at the middle of the night. I offered to take the kill so she could continue sleeping. It wasn’t a tough kill by any means, just an annoyance at that point. “Easy. Some scum who I took out with one swipe,” I say to her. Kills are easy when a demon isn’t involved. In fact, I think our last tough kill was the one we had at that hotel about a month ago. That one was a blast. “I actually wish someone would give me a challenge or something. Simply teleporting straight to someone and stabbing them is getting a little boring,” I say. I love that she laughs at my comment. “What’s your score right now, anyway?” she asks me. “201,” I reply. “Impressive. I think I’m in second with like… 100 or something,” she says. “You have ninety-two. Kurt has eighty nine and the rabbit has seventy,” I remember. Anna has actually progressed as a fighter mainly due to her ability to disappear. We almost make a game out of our kills. Anna and I are usually the most willing in the house to go out and make a kill. “You actually memorized it? Jesus Christ, Sam,” she laughs. “Well yeah, I’m proud of my score,” I say. It’s the truth. I’m proud of what I do. Especially because I notice that as days go by, more and more people need to be killed. I don’t know is this is because God wants more people to die or if people are just becoming worse. Either way, I will kill assholes. …God damn whatever Kurt’s making in the kitchen smells good. “Do you smell that?” I ask Anna. “Smell what?” “I’m gonna go see what Kurt’s making for breakfast. You going to sleep in?” I ask her. She sits up with a small smile. “Go ahead, I’m just going to take some time to get dressed,” she says. I walk to the door. I don’t feel like dressing yet, I feel comfortable in just my pajama bottoms. They are the same I’ve had for years; at least they look the same. Red, plaid, baggy


bottoms made from comfortable cotton. In fact, I fought in these pajamas last night for the kill. I walk into the kitchen. Kurt’s preparing the final product of whatever he was making for breakfast. He sees me and instantly holds a plate out towards me. “Try this,” he orders. On the plate is a mess of brown items with a melted white sludge in the middle. Honestly, it looks vile. However, I always trust Kurt’s cooking. I take the plate and bite down on the dish. Holy shit. What the hell is this? It’s quite possibly the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted. “Woah, this tastes godly. What is it?” I ask as I continue chewing. “I call them ‘S’waffles,’ they’re like a mixture of s’mores and waffles,” he answers with a smile. “So the white shit in the middle is marshmallow?” I assume. He nods as he turns back to set up the rest of the plates. I look around and see Kurt is abandoned. No one is around, not even in the living room. It’s actually a pleasant quiet. Still, I am curious. “Where’s Jessica?” I ask. “She and Petey are doing a morning rehearsal at The Act. I promised I’d have breakfast done when they came back,” Kurt responded as he finished plating another dish. “Why did the rabbit go with her?” I ask as I take another bite into Kurt’s newest creation. “You haven’t seen her show in a while, have you? Petey learned how to play bass about a month ago. He actually got really good at it. So he plays for her band now,” Kurt explains. A rabbit playing a bass guitar? Good gimmick. “Y’know, I’m not gay or anything. But you’re looking pretty ripped, Sam,” Kurt observes. I look down at my chest and smirk. It’s true; I’ve been working out for the past month. Every day I train in the room that we can transform. I want to make sure that nothing can kill me. “You’d look like this if you’d train with me for once,” I suggest. I’ve offered Kurt to join me many times, but he always declines. “I’m a comedian, I can’t build muscles,” Kurt says. “Why not?” “Because once comedians start to work out, they become unfunny. Just look at Joe Piscopo and Carrot Top,” Kurt jokes. He actually makes a fine point. “Fair enough.” I finish up my breakfast. If it wasn’t so filling, I would ask Kurt to make me another one. I walk to the room at the end of the living room. “I’m gonna go train. Feel free to join me if you’d like,” I offer. “No thanks, I’ll just keep making everyone waffles with chocolate syrup and melted marshmallows drizzled all over; y’know, providing my helpful hand to the betterment of our physical condition. Have fun working off all those thousands of calories you just ate by the way,” Kurt says as he retreats back to the kitchen. When I enter the training room, it adapts to a setting I have had for quite a while now. I enter into a sort of warehouse. The walls are the same red brick we have all around the loft. Windows let in whatever light the day may bring at the time. In the middle of the room is a large open space for the actual training, in which I summon enemies to practice on. Summoning these enemies is rather simple. I may not have the ability to create beings like my brother does, but since the room in ever-transforming, it builds its own creatures for me to fight.


Around the open space are places for rest. Leather couches sit near the large windows, along with a television and some tables with comic books, CD’s, whatever. It’s actually a mess, really. I’ve started to spend most of my time in this room instead of my own room. I put a computer in here for writing and a large stereo for listening to music. I have pretty much everything I need in this room. Everything except for someone to join me. I fall onto the softest couch in the room. It’s a good place to set up my training routine; it looks out into the open space. I need some sort of challenge today. Maybe a test that pins me against someone who has skill with a sword. I decide that this would be sufficient enough. “Eddy, make me a swordfighter,” I say aloud. I call the room ‘Eddy,’ after an old friend of mine. It’s strange that the room has a life of its own. Eddy instantly builds a shadow for me to fight. I only fight shadows in Eddy. The shadows don’t have a face, they don’t have a name, and they don’t have a life. The shadow doesn’t move until I am completely ready for a fight. I casually shake off my morning exhaustion as I stand up and walk to the center of the room. I let my sword out into my hands. I change to my angelic appearance; it seems to do something with my spine that helps me fight with more agility. The shadow takes out one sword. I assume that not many people I will ever fight will have two swords like I do. I make the first move as I charge towards the shadow. Over the past months, I have focused much on improving my sword fighting. I have realized that it is all just a process of finding holes in your opponent’s defense strategy while never letting holes appear in your own. I aim for the first hole I see at the shadow, his chest. The shadow quickly blocks it and reflects my left blade away. I try striking at his side with my right, but the shadow is quick enough to dodge that as well. I teleport behind the shadow to attack him from behind, but he quickly turns around and reflects the swing of both my blades. Impressive shadow, Eddy. The shadow starts to be on the offense. It starts swinging its blade at me as I try to defend. I can often guess where my opponent’s attacks are going to be. The shadow takes its elbow behind his back; he’s swinging to my right. I quickly move my right sword to block that attack. With my left blade I swing for the neck. He ducks quickly and swings his blades to my knees. I jump over the blade and swing both blades to his back. He rolls out of the way, leaving me with my blades sharply striking the ground. Before I can even adjust from the vibration the swords give me from hitting the floor, the shadow swings at me from behind. I teleport out of the way and attack him back. He manages to dodge that attack, but I’m getting closer. He backs away to evade. There is a small pause for both of us. I don’t give my opponents rest. I teleport behind him again, going for the head. He ducks again, turning and swinging towards my hip. I block it with my left sword. I teleport again to the shadow’s side and swing towards his hands. I’m successful with only one hand. The shadow’s hand disappears in a black fog before it lands on the ground. Now I go in for the kill. I swing as hard as I can towards his neck, which he blocks. However, with only one arm to hold his blade, the shadow isn’t strong enough to push me back. I use my other blade and behead the shadow. “Not bad, Eddy,” I say to the room. Part 2: Kinesis


After fighting the shadow, I decide to do a more traditional definition of a ‘workout.’ I put in “Brain Violation” by DJ Sharpnel into the stereo, one of my favorite albums. I start off with pushups, and count to fifty. The fast-paced music helps energize me to keep going as I switch to sit-ups. The television is turned on to a news station. The sound isn’t on, but I like to read the scroll at the bottom. I like that our names are often mentioned on that scroll. The work out is done, so I decide to finally relax. I lay on the couch that faces the television. I turn off the stereo and turn on the volume for the television. The news isn’t playing anything interesting, so I switch to Turner Classic Movies. The Maltese Falcon is playing, one of my favorite movies. It’s the digitally colored version… Fuck you, Ted Turner. After about twenty minutes, I stand up from the couch and move to my computer. I keep the movie on, so I can listen to it while I start to write. I’m almost done with my first novel. I’ve finally had time to write since I’ve become an angel. It also seems like I’ve had more incentive to write nowadays. For my first novel, it’s not bad. It’s called Death of an Angel. It’s a neo-noir story set in 1946 involving the traditional elements of a detective story. I always wish I could have been a detective, but killing people for God is fine too. It’s now afternoon. No one except me is at the loft. Anna and Kurt went to The Act to join Jessica and the rabbit before a show. I decided to stay home instead to get some more writing done. The apartment is quiet, I like it that way. I’m in the kitchen to grab a beer. I look at the window. Leaves are falling to the ground without any clear direction. The wind carries them along to different directions as the sun starts to fall. The signal… …Finally. I’ve been bored all day. I rush to Eddy, who is now the room with The List. My cell phone rings in my pocket. It’s Kurt. I pick it up. “Yeah, I got the kill,” I answer instantly. “Alrighty then, push the ‘safe button’ if you need any help,” Kurt replies on the phone. I forgot about the ‘safe button,’ a little button that Kurt drew up. I hang up and make sure to grab the button from my room. If I press the button, it alerts Kurt to come and help me. I’ve never needed to use it, but might as well be safe. I pull up The List, only one name is listed. Kinesis Oh joy, looks like it’s a demon. Kinesis? What the fuck kind of name is that? I love that demons give themselves names now. It’s truly like I’m in a comic book. I change to my angelic appearance and take out my swords. I take a deep breath to find my center, and teleport to whatever my destination may be. It turns out that destination is some sort of bunker. Only slivers of light shine in from thin holes in the cement walls above. I look for the demon; he’s nowhere to be found. Silence is my only friend in the bunker as I continue trying to find any form of life in this isolated area. …


“Is it really going to be this easy?” a voice from behind finally enters. I turn around, ready to strike. I’m too late, the demon already won. He lunges a piece of yellow stone through my left hand. I drop my blade and lose all my powers in a sharp pain. God damn it, it’s brimstone. The demon forces me against the southern wall of the bunker. I look behind me, there’s a wooden cross. He pins my left hand against it and lodges the piece of brimstone into the wood with a rubber mallet. I try to free my hand from the brimstone, but it’s lodged all the way through my palm. Fuck, it hurts. “I felt like I’d make a more symbolic gesture if I pinned you against a cross; seeing that you’ve been sacrificed by your God,” the demon says in a fucking snarky-ass voice that is more torture to me than the piece of brimstone protruding from my hand. “Hey, why don’t you just shut the fuck up and kill me already?” I suggest. He gives an annoying laugh. “What? I can’t play with my food before I eat it?” the demon says. “I wouldn’t recommend it,” I answer. “Why not?” “Because there’s someone with two automatic weapons behind you,” I say. I had pressed the safe button only seconds after the brimstone touched me. Kurt came within a few seconds after my call for help. He came alone. Why the hell did he come alone? Shit, this isn’t good. The demon quickly turns around. As Kurt sees the demon’s face, he instantly starts shooting. I now see why the demon calls himself Kinesis. As bullets fly towards the demon, they instantly stop and float in mid-air in front of the demon. Kinesis gently sways his hands back and forth, as if he were controlling the bullets. When Kurt realizes this, he stops shooting. Kinesis then uses some sort of mental power to shoot the floating bullets directly back at Kurt. As he does so, he rapidly moves his hands forward. Fortunately, Kurt teleports before any bullets can hit him. The demon just smirks as he tracks down where Kurt teleported. He finds him quick enough to defend Kurt’s next attack. Kurt shoots more bullets at the demon from behind, but this time the demon lets out his entire arm towards Kurt. Suddenly Kurt is flung back to the wall of the warehouse. …We’re screwed. I continue to try to pull the piece of brimstone out of my hand. It’s no use, it’s not budging. At this point, I have almost forgotten the pain. It’s more painful to watch Kurt fly around the warehouse at the hands of that demon. God damn, Kurt is a horrible fighter. He can use his power to make a talking rabbit but he can’t use it to simply shoot some sharp lines at the demon? At least Kurt hasn’t given up. But now the demon is just toying with him. The demon uses whatever power he is using to lift Kurt to the top of the warehouse. He then simply drops him. Kurt teleports behind the demon before he hits the ground. He finally uses the power of humor as he draws up an army of large circles, like shot-put balls. He shoots them towards the demon, who simply uses his power to shoot them back. Kurt draws up a reflecting wall. Now they’re playing a fucked up game of tennis. This is a joke.


Sure enough, Kurt loses as his circles eventually break through his barrier. I still try to free myself. I make a very important discovery. On the floor are my swords. I dropped them when the demon stabbed me. I bend down, leaving my hand pinned to the cross, and manage to pick one up with my free hand. I have an idea. “What are you going to do, Sam? Swing at me while you’re pinned to that cross like a dog on a leash?” the demon laughs at me when he sees me pick up my sword. I simply grin, knowing exactly what I’m going to do. “Honestly Sam, what are you going to do? I’m actually curious,” the demon says confidently. I actually start to laugh to myself, thinking about what I was about to do. I think I have it all figured out at this point. “What’s so funny, Sam?” the demon asks, starting to show a little sign of worry. “You’ve never seen The Evil Dead 2, have you?” I ask. The demon just looks confused. I start to laugh a little louder as I swing my blade back. I make sure that my common sense is shut down for what I am about to do. The demon still looks oblivious, I thought he would be able to guess what I was about to do. I guess not. With one swing, I chop my arm off. It’s actually refreshing. I teleport behind him and chop off both his arms in return. “Now, was I right in assuming that you can’t do you little mind powers without moving your arms?” I ask the demon. The demon laughs. “That’s the Azrael I remember,” he says enigmatically. What did he just say? “What the hell are you talking about?” I ask him. He continues to laugh as his black blood spews out of his stubs. “Aww shit, I’m sorry. I forgot that you don’t remember a single thing before you came back to Earth,” the demon laughs as blood rapidly drips out of his mouth. The blood quickly reminds me of my own wound to my left. “We used to be buds, actually; back in hell. But you don’t remember any of that, do you?” the demon asks me. Half of me wants to simply ignore the demon and kill him. The other half believes the demon; hungry for more information it may bring me. I listen to my latter half. “What do you mean ‘back in hell’?” I ask the demon, unaware of my own threatening tone. “Shit kid, you’re missing on a bunch, aren’t you? Sucks to be you,” the demon taunts me. I stare the demon down, trying to decide whether or not the demon is bluffing. I think for a few moments, as I see my brother approach in the background. I look back at the demon, who is refusing to show any sign of cooperation. …Ah fuck it. I end the demon’s life with a bang. That is; I set the motherfucker on fire. Shit I’ve lost a lot of blood. I realize this as I look to the floor. My scarlet blood has formed an elaborate pool of dark red at my feet. I gently lift my left shoe, to see how deep the pool of blood had become. It turns out to be a rather thick pool. I start to feel light headed. In fact, I see gray outlines of any object I see in front of me. Kurt approaches me.


“Why’d you come alone? You’re the worst fighter of us all,” I say to Kurt, pressing down on what’s left of my left arm, trying not to let too much blood out. “What about Petey? I’m sure I can kill people better than he can,” Kurt asks. “It’s no contest, the rabbit wins,” I assure him. “What do you know? You only have one arm,” my brother says to me. I finally notice that perhaps my wound may need taking care of. “Kurt, can you pry my arm out from that wooden cross?” I ask Kurt. He actually obeys my command. However, as he retrieves my arm, the loss of blood overcomes me, and I pass out to the cold hard cement. Hmm… I wake up under an exceedingly bright light. I wonder if I’m dead. I can’t be; angels heal from a non-life threatening wound within an hour. I’m assuming that a lost arm isn’t ‘life-threatening.’ There is no longer a strange emptiness in place of my left arm. In fact, I can feel myself start to wiggle my left arm’s fingers. I finally sit up. It looks like I’m alone in a doctor’s office. It’s not much of a doctor’s office though, looks like it’s more of a family physician’s office, or a veterinarian’s. I look to my newly attached left arm. There are some stitches around the shoulder. It looks like someone reattached my arm pretty damn well. “Ah, I see you are finally awake,” a man in a white lab coat walks in. Behind him is Kurt. “Sam this is Dr. Jule. He’s kind of our personal savor here,” Kurt explained. I shake the doctor’s hand with my refreshed left hand. “You have a very high tolerance for pain, Sam,” the doctor says to me as he shakes my hand. “Thanks,” I reply without much thought. I’m not sure if he was complimenting me. “Nice job with the arm by the way, it feels as good as new,” I say as I roll my shoulder around. “It wasn’t much. Luckily you angels are pretty easy to patch back up. Just don’t die out on the ‘battlefield’ and you can pretty much survive anything,” the doctor assures us. Quite a comforting thought, actually. “So where did you meet Dr. Jule anyway, Kurt?” I ask. “Actually, a little more than a month ago when I got that piece of brimstone rammed into my neck,” Kurt answers. “Quite a nasty one back there,” the doctor chimes in. “Yeah I don’t usually list that incident as one of my better times. But yeah, it turns out that Dr. Jule here actually resides up in heaven and just comes down here to keep his office running,” Kurt continues. But I do remember something rather peculiar about that last kill… “Hey doc, does the name ‘Azrael’ ring a bell to you?” I ask the doctor as I scratch my head. “Hmm… I’m not really the one to ask about this, I know nothing about history, but I think that name rings a bell. Where did you hear it?” the doctor says. Suddenly, a tubby woman from the hall pops her head in to interrupt. “During the kill, the demon called him Azrael,” the woman says. It turns out that it’s a nurse. She simply walks away after her statement. Dr. Jule looks almost annoyed.


“Sorry, the nurses here watch every single one of your moves on TV,” the doctor explains. “Are we like a television show up there or something?” I ask. “Yeah, think like The Truman Show, but in each episode Truman brutally slashes someone in half,” Kurt jokes. I can’t help but laugh. We leave the doctor’s office shortly after. It’s now the afternoon, and Kurt has a show tonight. He goes back to The Act as I decide to stay. I want to see if I can get a hold of God. Part Three: That’s Entertainment The afternoon starts to drone by. I am sitting on the roof of the apartment. Kurt and the rabbit left some beach chairs up here and we’ve made it a decent area to relax. I can’t relax, though. Something about today’s kill keeps bugging me. They say that around late autumn is when the sun sets a minute earlier each day. It looks like we’re starting to go through that process again. It’s only late afternoon and I can already seen the sun start to set to the west. The air is rapidly starting to chill down. A gust a wind gives me a small shock as I turn around to see where it came from. When I turn around, I see a small floating object in the distance. It gently floats with the motion of the wind, moving back and forth. I finally stand up to approach it. As I walk closer to it, I realize that it is a note card attached to a piece of red yarn. I look up to see if the yarn is attached to anything above. It isn’t. The yarn is also simply floating in mid-air above the note card, not attached to a source. When I am close enough, I finally read the note card.

Tug me, Sam.
I hold the note card in my hand. I look around me because it feels like someone is watching me. The air is quiet. I turn back to the card on the string. After searching the back of the card and all around the yarn, I decide to finally just pull the damn string. I feel the roof beneath me disappear instantly as I start falling through a newly formed hole. It’s not a long trip down, however. I land comfortably in a completely different setting. When I look around, I assume I’m in some sort of office. It looks like God’s fucking with me. The office is not quite normal either. Everything looks and feels odd. A plethora of colors decorates both the walls and the furniture. Apparently the owner of this office loves tie-dye. There’s even a lava lamp on the wooden desk in front of me. I see a small office chair next to the desk, probably for an employee. I guess I’m one of those, so I sit. Seconds after I sit down, the door to the left opens. A young adult, probably no older than I am, walks in. Along with him comes a distinct filthy odor as well. He wears a green and pink Hawaiian shirt along with baggy beige shorts and torn apart flip-flops. I’m surprised he’s not carrying a surfboard with him. “You are a very enthusiastic worker, Sam,” the man says to me as he sits down. I scratch the back of my neck, a little bit confused. 207

“Thanks, I guess,” I respond awkwardly. I still don’t know who this man is. “My name is ‘God’, by the way,” the man says as he pulls a pack of cigarettes from his shirt pocket. “You still smoke Spirits, right?” the man offers me a cigarette. I take it because I could use one right about now. I light my cigarette from a flame I gently summon from my finger as God lights a cigarette for himself. An audible silence fills the room awkwardly as I finally find the courage to speak. “So I’ve been working for you for about six months; how come we’ve never met?” I ask, trying not to let any signs of frustration show out through my voice. “You never asked,” God responds simply. “Fair enough. Can you at least tell me where I’m at right now?” I ask. “Yeah sure. You’re in heaven right now. Don’t worry; you’re not dead. I just ‘borrowed’ your soul for a sec; if I went down to Earth myself I would need to turn human and I didn’t feel like doing all that work,” he responds. “Alright then. Well I’m here, then,” I say. I’m almost trying to egg him into finally moving to the point. “Right. I actually brought you here for a reason, and that’s to tell you… well, to tell you a lot of things,” God finally starts. He talks mostly with his hands. “Why did the demon call me Azrael today?” I instantly question. “The real question is; why were you chosen to be an Angel of Death?” God asks me. “Why?” “Because you were the original,” God tells me. “The original?” “Thousands of years ago, during the times when I had a heavier and more direct impact on Earth, an angel worked to imprison tainted souls that walked the earth. His name was Azrael,” God continues. He speaks as if even he doesn’t take this whole thing seriously. “That was me?” I ask quickly. “Yes. It was you. But after about two hundred years of service, you quickly became insane with power, and challenged me. I then sent you to Hell,” God says. He uses a playful tone that almost makes fun of the whole situation. “You sent me to Hell?” I ask frantically. “Just temporarily. Because of your service and good behavior whilst in Hell, I released you back onto Earth in 1492, where you started all over again,” God finishes. I can’t quite accept all this at once, especially with God’s lackadaisical tone. “Wait… I used to live in Hell?” I ask. “Well, yes. I take full responsibility for all that though,” God says. “Why? What happened?” “Well, you volunteered to be the angel of death a long, long time ago. You started off great, like you are doing now. The world was a safer place, and you were a household name. But as time went by, you asked for more powers and more weapons. So I gave them to you. Soon you started gaining more sympathy with the ones you were supposed to kill. After a few years, you not only let the condemned live, but you killed the innocent and tried to claim my ‘throne’ or whatever. Eventually I got sick of your shit and sent you to Hell. Without your powers, you returned to your normal self down in Hell after a few years so I brought you back to Earth,” God explains. “Why did you bring back this system if it failed long ago?” I ask.


“Sam, the world is reaching a dark age. Hate continues to grow from once pure souls. The Earth is deteriorating like I’ve never seen it before. I can’t know what the future holds, but I’m pretty damn good at predicting. What scares me is that when I predict the future as it is, I see nothing. Absolutely nothing. So I decided to bring back the last system that caught everyone’s attention towards me. I picked you because despite all that happened, you are still one of my favorite souls, and it only makes sense to pick the original angel,” he continues. “So you wanted this whole thing to be public to the world?” I ask suspiciously. “Absolutely. This world hasn’t seen anything this close to me since I talked to Gandhi. It’s been great PR, Sam. It instills the perfect blend of respect, admiration, and fear into the public. Sometimes the best way to completely turn everything upside-down is to simply let people know that you exist. Oh, it’s been fun, Sam,” God continues. “What about the demons? And all the people that are marked?” “That’s the great part, Sam! Even though more people are being marked each day, we finally have some people making sure they aren’t harmed nor harm anyone else. And the demons; well, they’re happier now than when they were in Hell. Despite what John says, it’s pretty obvious that the demons prefer Purgatory. Also, it’s fun for them to have a chance to walk the Earth again. I do feel bad for the souls they take, but I’ve got billions more of them. Resetting a bunch of souls a week is better than banishing a few souls to Hell each week,” God finishes. I pause for a moment. After comprehending all the information God has now given me, I finally grin hugely. “I think I understand, sir; and I think I’d like to continue doing my part in all of this,” I say. God smiles. For some reason, it feels like this guy and I have very similar minds. “That’s good news, Sam. I’d like to keep you as long as I can, you’re the best angel of death I have. Just know that you can quit at anytime and you have heaven waiting for you and your brother. Also, if there’s anything I can do to help you do your job, just ask,” God assures me. I was hoping he would tell me that, I already had something in mind. “Actually, there is one thing,” I start. I notice a sense of confidence in his eyes. It makes me wonder if he knows what I’m going to say before I even say it. Well, here it goes. “I want more powers,” I say firmly. God can’t help but burst out a laugh. “I’m sorry Sam, but why would I make the same mistake I made back then?” God asks me with a surprisingly calm and relaxed tone. I know the answer. “Because I’ll make it the most entertaining mistake you’ve ever made,” I say. God gives me an assuring smile. It is at that moment when I figure it all out. I now know the purpose of mankind. We’re all God’s clowns. “You see, my Lord, I may not remember my past life as Azrael,” I start. As I do so, I feel an overwhelming rush of new knowledge to my mind. I almost feel my entire self rapidly change to a new person. “But I feel a lot of deja-vu going on,” I continue, turning my neck slightly. God looks at me with a strange sense of confidence. “And I think I know what you want from me; what you want from all of us. You just want something to watch so you don’t get bored; and I understand, it must get lonely


being the only, well er… God out there. But I want you to know, I’ll do my best to continue killing deadbeats for your entertainment for as long as I can survive. I just feel I might survive longer if I had more power, or at least more weapons. Nothing too much, just enough for me to get by,” I finish. God starts quietly laughing. “I’ll see what I can do,” he says with his laugh. The room starts to disappear. I look around to see what’s going on quickly, but when I look back, I see that I am now on our rooftop. I walk to the edge of the roof to grasp reality. The sun is setting quickly. I start thinking about my conversation with God. I start to remember my deja-vu. I start seeing memories in which people call me ‘Azrael;’ memories I don’t even remember having. …I better lay down. Part 4: One Month Later A month has passed. I’m now chasing some asshole whose victim list stretches too far. I’m in the dirtiest alleys of New York. Steam and the smell of shit pollute the air as I try to keep my kill in my view. Joseph Terrani Some Italian guy, apparently. I’ve been chasing him for a good five minutes now. In his hands are two automatic weapons, similar to Kurt’s. As I continue to chase him, he occasionally turns around to shoot at me. Due to the muggy surroundings, he can’t get a good shot, and I can’t see where I can teleport. He thinks he’s winning. He just keeps running from me, shooting back at me. What he doesn’t know is that I’ve been playing with him this whole time for my own amusement. -Oh yeah, about my meeting with God and all that… About three days after I met God, my mind finally stopped gaining information about my past life as Azrael. It turns out God ‘forgot’ to fully erase my mind after I was resurrected from Hell; but he erased it enough for me to be unable to remember as long as no one provoked my mind. With God’s conversation, he unintentionally unlocked all of these forgotten memories. Though not everything is quite clear, I remember much of my life as Azrael, the original angel of death. I have to say; I haven’t changed much over 500 years. Azrael, despite his attempt to overthrow God, was a rather respected man. In fact, when I did challenge Him, I had the support of thousands of angels who were also sick of God’s apathy towards his own creation. I don’t remember my time in Hell, or any of my lives on Earth besides the one I’m currently living. I was the only angel of death, because I was so good at my job God didn’t feel like he needed another one. Even though we were operating the AOD system back then, Hell still existed. Because of this, there were fewer victims on my list compared to today. Back to the kill, I am still chasing this asshole down the alley. I can see him starting to climb a fire escape. I catch up, but I’m not going to chase him up the rusty


ladder. I have a better idea. I let my swords disappear into my skin. I switch my weapon to a shotgun. -Oh yeah, God fulfilled my request. I take a lazy shot at my kill. It doesn’t hit him, but it sends sparks flying loudly. He continues to run up the fire escape, trying to reach the first window he can find. I shoot at him again and miss. Damn, I’m still a terrible shot. -God gave me four new powers: Flow, Aquatic, Energy, and Darkness. Flow gives me the power to control air streams to my will, which has given me the power to use these gusts of wind to lift me off the ground. It’s very hard to control, but it’s a damn cool power. I’m now the only one who can fly, even though I’m not quite used to it. Aquatic is pretty straightforward and similar to my flame power. It gives me the power to expel water from my hands. Sounds lame, I know; but I also have the power to freeze the water I expel, which is actually extremely useful and easy to use. I’ve learned to make myself a path in the air by shooting out ice sheets straight below me. I’ve got the power of fire and ice on my side now. Energy is also pretty powerful, but very difficult to use. It gives me the power to control electricity to my will. I can’t create any of these electrical currents, however. I have to find them around. When I do find a current though, it’s almost always an instant kill. Currents can be found in just about any object that uses electricity, but it’s tiring to pull all the ‘shock’ out and control it. Darkness may be my favorite new power. It’s similar to Anna’s power, but instead of making myself invisible, Darkness gives me the power to extract any light or color from any given area within about s five-hundred feet radius. Along with this power God gave me the ability to see clearly in the dark. It’s a great power to scare people, which can actually be fun sometimes. Jesus, I may be becoming too desensitized to violence… The asshole I’m chasing is still climbing up the fire escape. I’m still on the ground shooting like an idiot. I’m not really trying to be honest. Nothing about this kill has been all that exciting; so I decide to mix it up a bit. I turn around. My kill looks confused as I walk away. I keep walking until I’m almost out of the alley. I turn back and see the villain simply stopped on the fire escape, watching me. -And about the weapons… God decided that there couldn’t be any harm in giving me any weapon I want, since none of the weapons he gives angels can actually harm God himself. So now I can basically summon any weapon I want. He even gave Kurt and Anna this ability too. I’m not sure about the rabbit because his weapons are always his own cartoons.


One of my favorite film directors, Takashi Miike, was once questioned about his decision to give his character Detective Jojima a bazooka in his film ‘Dead or Alive.’ He responded by saying “Why shouldn’t he have a bazooka? Don’t all guys fantasize about bazookas?” God gave me a bazooka. As I turn back to my kill, I pull out a bazooka and take careful aim at my target. As I look through the zoom on the weapon, I see my kill start to panic. I see his mouth moving, but I’m too far about to hear what he’s saying. I start to make guesses about what he might be screaming as he frantically rushes up the fire escape. Perhaps “Holy shit!” or “Oh fuck, I’m screwed,” or “Holy Jesus I’m about to be blown up by a motherfucking bazooka.” Something along those lines. My weapon squeals as I pull the trigger. The rocket flies down the alley straight to the fire escape. Joseph Terrani manages to grab onto the first windowsill as the rocket blows up the entire steel structure. The fire escape detaches from the building, but Joey’s still hanging on to the window. As the fire escape topples, a large metal shard stabs my kill in the shoulder. He screams in pain, but he’s still holding on; tough cookie. The entire fire escape falls to the ground with Joey still hanging on to the windowsill for his life. I sprint down the alley. As I do so, I look to find an air stream to Flow on. When I find one, I use my new power to fly into the air towards my hanging victim. I gradually rise up in the alley and reach poor Joey. I grab him by the leg and fly higher into the air. “Fuck, what’s going on, man,” my kill murmurs to himself as the ground moves farther away from his view. He seems high on something. “Well, I’m supposed to kill you, so I am,” I reply back. We’re almost to the clouds now. “What’s gonna happen when I die?” Joey asks. I’ve never had a kill actually interact with me like this. “You’re going to be reborn into a different body and you won’t remember anything about this life,” I say. “Sounds appealing,” Joey says. I look back down to him. According to him, it seems like this man’s life hasn’t been one worth living. “So how are you gonna finish me off?” Joey asks when I stop ascending. “I’m not quite sure. I have a few ideas in my head, though. I could just drop you,” I suggest. “That sounds simple enough,” Joey says. I can’t help but feel slightly sympathetic for this schmuck. “Very well then. I guess this is goodbye, try not to hit any people on your way down,” I say. Joey actually gives a smile back. I see a sense of excitement in his smile as he hangs by his leg in my hand. I see a sense of redemption in that smile. “Goodbye, Mr. Angel,” Joey says. I let go of his leg, and he abruptly falls through the clouds. I don’t bother to see where he lands.


I’m back at the loft, watching the news in Eddy. On the news is a story about a man who fell from the sky. The reporters are describing his landing in offensively graphic detail, I love it. They say that his head ‘popped like a watermelon’ when it hit the ground. Hmm, watermelon. I wish it was summer again… Episode Fifteen: Butterfly in Reverse Part One: Mr. Tambourine Man A month passed by. Not much changed within the month, surprisingly. Kills were daily, and some days called for more than one. Sam didn’t mind, but Kurt seemed to die a little inside every time the signal went off. Sam never told anyone about his conversation with me. He was the one to inform everyone about the new weapons they received and the new powers Sam received exclusively. He told them he heard about this from John, who just went along with Sam’s lie. John understood Sam’s intention to cover it up. Sam had just learned about his past life as the original angel of death, so much so that he even starting remembering it. Sam was good at hiding the fact that he was essentially Azrael again. The Azrael I remember was much more brute and sarcastic than Sam normally acts. However, every time I watch Sam perform a kill, I always see Azrael again. Jokes and unusual mannerisms usually came with Azrael’s kills, and it seemed like they were sprouting in Sam’s. For example, last Thursday I assigned him to kill a group of Illinois Nazis (I hate Illinois Nazis). When he arrived he started spinning around shooting two automatic guns, singing “The Dreidel Song.” So I started to fear that Sam would simply turn into Azrael, which would probably result in the same clusterfuck I had to deal with 500 years ago. That is, until this little incident… The soft clatter of raindrops smacking the windows woke Anna up. She turned to her side, trying to go back to sleep. Sam was sleeping next to her. She peered over Sam’s shoulder to catch a glimpse of the clock on the nightstand. 5:56 AM. Still too early to wake up, she thought. She nudged Sam slightly to see if he would wake up. She knew he wouldn’t because he was such a heavy sleeper. Frustrated, Anna decided to just lie back down, close her eyes, and see if somehow she would get back to sleep for two more hours. She never did get back to sleep, and Sam ‘woke’ her up around 8:15, much to her relief. “You look so tired,” Sam noted as he caressed Anna shortly after waking up. “I didn’t sleep well,” Anna replied, scratching her head. “I’m sorry, something on your mind?” Sam invited. “No. At least I don’t think so,” Anna said as she finally sat up. The two dressed and walked into the kitchen shortly afterwards. When 8:30 rolled around, Kurt came out of his room to start making breakfast along with Jessica. Petey was already on the couch when Anna and Sam came in. Anna found herself a seat with Petey while Sam talked with Kurt and Jessica while Kurt made breakfast. “It’s really pouring out there, isn’t it?” Kurt observed as he looked at the window. The rain had picked up, and was now much louder as it hit the roof. “It’s about time,” Sam said.


“I really hope we don’t have to make a kill out in that rain today,” Kurt said as he flipped a pancake on the stove. “Now why won’t you tell me what you’re making for breakfast today?” Sam said as he watched Kurt cook. “It’s a surprise.” “Looks like regular pancakes to me,” Sam said. “Nah, he did some weird shit when he was making the batter,” Jessica chimed in. “Yeah, these aren’t normal pancakes. Just wait and see,” Kurt said as he flipped another pancake on the stove. Sam knew not to underestimate Kurt’s cooking, especially if Kurt had enough confidence to say that his breakfast was special. When Kurt had finished, he set the plates in a very peculiar way. He seemed almost obsessed with the process as he carefully placed items onto the plate. The syrup was even poured in a specific way. Kurt made an extra effort to make sure Sam didn’t taste the breakfast until it was fully done. Finally, Kurt invited everyone to sit at the table for breakfast. Sam was fixated on this meal, perhaps more so than Kurt. As they all sat down, Kurt instructed everyone not to eat the food until he said so. “Alright Sam, I want you to take the first bite,” Kurt said. Sam quickly cut up a large piece of his one large pancake and placed in his mouth. He recognized the taste instantly. “No freaking way,” Sam said with his mouth full. Jessica and Anna looked confused. Petey already correctly guessed what Kurt had made, simply by knowing the date and what it meant to Kurt. “What is it?” Anna asked curiously. Sam tried to swallow and talk at the same time. “Back when we were young, our dad would make these pancakes that were seriously the best pancakes ever made. He never told anyone the recipe, not even our own mother. How the hell did you make it, Kurt?” Sam asked. Kurt smiled. “I promised Dad I’d never tell,” Kurt said. Sam looked in shock. “He gave you the recipe? When?” Sam asked. “The day the doctors told him how long he had to live,” Kurt said. “And how come you finally made them now?” “Look at the date,” Kurt suggested. October 12th. “Dad’s birthday,” Sam realized. Kurt smiled to his brother. “Exactly. I’d just thought it’d be a good way to remember him. So everyone eat up!” Kurt invited as everyone finally started eating. Virgins to the pancakes all agreed that they were indeed the best pancakes ever made. This led to many stories from Kurt about his father. “A toast… to Mr. James Watts,” Kurt said as he raised his glass. Everyone joined in quietly chiming their glasses together. “This makes me think about my father too,” Jessica said after the toast. “Oh yeah, your dad was a doctor, right?” Kurt asked. “Dentist, actually. I used to want to be his assistant, but he’d never let me come to work with him. He said there were too many dangerous things I could poke my eye out with. After he said that I became terrified on dentists,” Jessica laughed. “What about your parents, Anna? I’ve never heard you talk about them at all,” Sam asked his girlfriend. Anna impulsively coughed.


“My parents? Oh, well… They were your typical Californian suburban workaholics I guess. I didn’t see much of them to be honest,” Anna said softly. “Did you have any siblings or anything?” Kurt asked. “Nah, just me and my mother,” Anna said. “What about your father?” Sam asked without thinking. “He’s dead,” Anna said quickly. “Sorry,” Sam apologized. “Don’t worry about it, he was an asshole anyways,” Anna said, trying to dig herself out of talking about her parents. Everyone at the table understood this effort, and stopped asking questions. “…So Petey learned a new instrument yesterday,” Jessica changed the subject successfully. “Really? How many is that now?” Kurt asked. Petey had been eagerly playing in Jessica’s band ever since her bassist quit. “Bass, acoustic, keyboards, and ukulele,” Petey counted down. Music came naturally to Petey, who had become a fan of indie-rock bands after a couple of them visited The Act. With the access to the best equipment and an abundance of free-time, Petey learned music theory and timing within two months. “You learned to play a ukulele?” Kurt asked. “Yup, I’ll be playing it tonight,” Petey said. “And what island of Hawaii did you visit to learn that instrument?” Kurt asked as a joke. “Very funny,” Petey dismissed. “Couldn’t you at least learn a cooler instrument? I mean, a ukulele is like the guitar’s gay cousin,” Kurt continued. “Oh yeah?” Petey challenged. “Yup.” “Fifty bucks says the ukulele gets me laid tonight,” Petey bet. Kurt reached across the table to shake Petey’s hand. “You’re on. But the two lesbians don’t count,” Kurt said. “Fine,” Petey agreed as he shook Kurt’s hand firmly. The signal… “God damn it,” Kurt said as he heard the ringing in his ears. He hated that signal with a passion. As days went by, the ringing seemed to grow louder each time it went off. Sam didn’t mind so much, he saw it as another opportunity to show off to news cameras. “I’ll get it if you don’t want it,” Sam offered. “Nah I’m coming,” Kurt said as he followed Sam to Eddy. Even Kurt had started to call the room that held The List by the name Sam created. Petey, Anna, and Jessica followed the brothers into Eddy as Sam pulled up The List. Mr. Tambourine Man “Apparently our demon’s a Bob Dylan fan,” Sam said as he read the name off The List. He turned to Anna, whose face was paler than ever. Her eyes seemed to droop from her insomnia.


“You ok, Anna?” he asked with a sincere concern. He approached her and put his hand on her forehead. “I’m fine,” she said without confidence. “You look sick,” Sam observed. Everyone else agreed; she looked pasty and malnourished. “It’s nothing, I just didn’t get much sleep last night,” she defended. “Sit this one out, I don’t want you getting hurt,” Sam offered. Anna didn’t bother trying to argue with this offer. She knew that she was feeling like shit anyway, maybe lying down might be the best for her. “Fine, I guess I’ll try to rest up. Don’t get killed out there,” Anna retreated as she watched Kurt, Sam, and Petey teleport off to the kill. The angels ended up in an abandoned lounge club somewhere in Los Angeles. Dust covered the floors and the walls. A large open space hinted that there were once tables and chair within itself. It hinted that there was once life in this dead lounge. The bar was in the worst shape, as a large wooden support seemed to have toppled onto it, snapping the long bar in half and leaving stray splinters everywhere. The stage was the only source of any life within the lounge. A green velvet carpet dressed the elevated platform. A single microphone stand survived in the middle of the stage. The angels didn’t notice this life, however, until they heard the soft strumming of an acoustic guitar. Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me, I’m not sleepy and there is no place I’m going to… The three angels turned to the stage to see a lone performer playing a battered guitar. A cheap microphone stand stood in front of him as he sang softly. He looked weathered, at least forty years old. There even seemed to be a layer of dust on his skin that slowly shifted along with the movements caused by his singing. In the eyes of the angels, the performer was scarlet red. He was their target; and he was singing. Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me, In the jingle-jangle mourning all come following you. I know that’s not the original lyrics to the song written by Bob Dylan, but during his time in hell, I happened to take a peek at this particular demon’s song book that he liked to hold on to. Within it he had written classic songs over and over again throughout the small composition notebook. There was never any structure to his writing, he just write all over the damned book. When I saw “Mr. Tambourine Man,” written on various pages of his journal, I noticed he changed quite a few lyrics, although the song sounds almost exactly the same when he sings it. Though I know that Evelyn’s empire has returned to man Vanished from His hand, Left me blindly here to stand but still not sleeping. My weariness amazes me, I’m branded on my feet, I have no one to meet And the ancient empty street’s too dead for dreaming.


“He’s just singing,” Kurt murmured as they slowly approached the performing demon. The demon continued to look straight towards an invisible audience. He seemed to pay no mind to angels as they approached him as silently as possible. Soon Sam had given up playing quiet and starting walking to the stage. “What are you doing?” Kurt harshly whispered as Sam walked into the open space in front of the stage. “I want to see if I can go up there and join him,” Sam answered enigmatically. Kurt sighed, knowing that Sam was going to play with his kill again. Ever since I revealed to Sam that he was the original angel of death, Sam had been acting rather odd during kills; highly enjoying the black humor of his job. Take me on a trip upon your magic swirlin’ ship, My senses have been stripped, my hands can’t feel to grip, My toes too numb to step, wait only for my boot heels To be wanderin’. I’m ready to go anywhere, I’m ready for the shade Into their own charade, cast her dancing spell my way, I promise to go under it. The demon did not show any reaction at all as Sam clearly approached him from the empty audience space. As Sam stepped onto the stage, the demon continued to sing without any distraction. Soon Sam was standing directly in front of the demon with a long, slightly curved sword in his right hand. He positioned his sword in ready position in front of his with both hands. As Kurt and Petey watched from the darkness of the bar, they noticed a strange sense of eeriness coming from the performer. As Sam started to pull his sword back to strike, the demon continued singing, as if he were completely blind and oblivious to Sam’s actions. “Is he going to fight back or what?” Kurt asked Petey. Petey didn’t respond, he simply continued to watch the demon sing as Sam started to finally swing. “Watch your parking meter,” Sam told the demon. Upon hearing this, the demon finally made a reaction to Sam. He smiled, recognizing the lyric from “Subterranean Homesick Blues.” The demon kept his smile as Sam blade starting sweeping around before reaching its target. Music can be a very powerful thing sometimes. Put enough soul into it, and maybe you can turn music into something much more than a sound. Mr. Tambourine Man had no soul left. So the music turned into a weapon instead. Sam’s swing was ricocheted off by a barely visible wave-like force. The force came from Mr. Tambourine Man’s guitar. Though he strummed it gently, it emitted an enormous amount of power. When Sam tried swinging again, Mr. Tambourine Man retaliated by simply playing the next verse.
Though you might hear laughin’, spinnin’, swingin’ madly across the sun, It’s not aimed at anyone, it’s just escapin’ on the run


And but for the sky there are no fences facin’. And if you hear vague traces of skippin’ reels of rhyme To your tambourine in time, it’s just a ragged clown behind, I wouldn’t pay it any mind, it’s just a shadow that he’s missing. “Ooh, I like this one,” Sam said slyly as he blocked one of Mr. Tambourine Man’s forces emitted from his acoustic guitar. Sam answered Mr. Tambourine Man’s attacks by teleporting to the back of the bar. When Mr. Tambourine Man saw that there was no longer someone interrupting his show, he stopped defending. His song never changed its pace or tone, but the visual surroundings quickly calmed down. “So, you guys want to help at all?” Sam asked Kurt and Petey from the bar. Kurt shrugged while Petey’s eyes stayed centered on Mr. Tambourine Man’s performance. “Not really,” Kurt said with a certain deadpan style. “You mind if I set the place on fire then?” Sam asked, imitating Kurt’s tone. “Go for it,” Kurt replied as he leaned against the bar, eager to see what type of chaos Sam would create. Sam took Kurt’s invitation, and extended his palm out in front of him. From his hand came a slim stream of fire. Sam shot it out towards Mr. Tambourine Man, who was still singing his simple song without any sign of distraction. The flame flew across the room, leaving a small blazing trail of bright orange behind. The flame swiftly travelled across the club and to the stage. Mr. Tambourine Man didn’t pay much mind to the flame quickly coming closer to him. When the stream finally reached the singer, it expanded. The line of fire spread out across the stage, as the demon seemed engulfed in the flames. Though in Kurt and Petey’s eyes it had looked like Sam had won, Sam knew that he didn’t intend to have his flame expand like that. The flame then seemed to unnaturally shift its figure. Soon the flame started shrinking. The wall of fire that seemed to cover the stage was soon only a small flame. As it continued shrinking, Mr. Tambourine Man revealed himself directly behind the flame. The angels could see that the fire was clearly stopped by an invisible shield created by the music from the demon. When the flame was gone, Mr. Tambourine Man continued to sing like nothing had happened. Sam grunted and approached the stage. He knew that the demon wasn’t going to attack him without provocation, so Sam simply walked on stage. However, instead of instantly attacking, Sam ignored the singer; much like the singer was doing to him. Sam casually walked to the curtains behind the performer and started searching around. He looked up and saw a large collection of lights and a catwalk above. “You know what this show could use?” Sam said to Mr. Tambourine Man, who was simply strumming his guitar in between verses. Though he did not speak to Sam, he didn’t sing either. To Sam this revealed that the demon was in fact listening to him. Sam smoothly walked to a large switch near the side of the stage. “Some pizzazz,” Sam said as he flicked the switch. The lights above shone brightly all over the stage. The demon smiled and continued playing. Sam on the other hand decided to use his new power of Energy to grab the electricity from the lights. This actually produced a rather striking visual, as multi-colored shimmers trickled down from the lights and to Sam’s hands. After a second or two, Sam has a large ball of energy in between his hands. Colors separated themselves within this sphere, as streams of light danced around the ball of electricity. “Kamehameha, motherfucker,” Sam said, referencing a cartoon he watched as a kid, as he shot out his energy from his hands. The sphere travelled erratically towards the stage. Separate lines of various colors disbanded from each other, as if many electrical currents were hurling towards the stage. Mr. Tambourine Man seemed grateful of Sam’s action. When the sphere hit the stage, another music wave blocked the ball from damaging the demon. As the sphere hit the barely visible shield, it separated itself into its original colors, as lightning-bolt-like streams shot back


out across the entire lounge. Though it was a highly dangerous setting, it was actually beautiful how the colors covered the entire scene. “Hmm…” Sam mumbled to himself as the electrical currents died down. “What now?” Kurt asked Sam. Sam stayed silent as the music continued on. After a few seconds, Petey finally answered. “Wait for him to finish the song,” Petey said as he continued to watch Mr. Tambourine Man’s performance. Sam turned to the performer, and thought that maybe the rabbit may be onto something.

Then take me disappearin’ through the smoke rings of my mind, Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves, The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach, Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow. Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free, Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands, With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves, Let me forget about today until tomorrow. Sam slowly approached the stage as the demon continued to sing. Kurt and Petey still stayed back as Sam reached the middle of the open space in front of the stage. Soon the song finally started to end. Hey! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me I’m not sleepy and there is no place I’m going to Hey! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me In the jingle jangle morning I’ll come followin’ you… When the song ended, a loud clicking sound followed it. After that noise came an earsplitting gunshot. The gunshot had come from a double barrel shotgun that Sam summoned. The performer’s head was obliterated into a black mess against the wall behind the stage. The body fell to the floor, and the kill was over. “That was interesting,” Sam said. “Why did he just let you shoot him like that?” Kurt asked. “Because he was just trying to sing a song,” Petey answered bluely. Sam walked back to the bar near Petey and Kurt. “You sympathize with the demons too much,” Sam pointed out to Petey before teleporting back to the loft. Petey couldn’t help but shutter slightly at Sam’s comment before the other two followed him back. Part Two: Painful Memories Back at the loft, while the angels who tagged along for the kill socialized with Jessica, Anna had tried to recuperate herself in her room. Her effort proved to be unsuccessful, evident by the state of her bed sheets, which were scrambled all along her mattress and floor. You’re going to lose, I promise you. Voices were attacking Anna, as they often did. She sat up on her bed, crossing her arms to try to warm up her shivering body. She didn’t feel tried, she felt anxious. The air


was freezing for her as she looked out the window. Leaves smacked the window as the wind frantically lifted them around the city. I can’t believe anyone would even want to spend one minute with a person like you. The familiarity of the voices was what tortured Anna the most. The voice was a deep yet slightly nasally voice that she had suffered through for much of her life. All she remembered of that voice were all the insults and all the abuse she had dealt with from that voice. Don’t you fucking dare go with her \ When she remembered the threats, Anna couldn’t take it anymore. She rushed to her bathroom and collapsed next to the toilet. She stuck her head in and vomited. Her shaking had become almost violent as she pulled away from the toilet. Tears started to stream down her face as she kept her crying as silent as possible. Fucking memories, without them I’d be just fine, she thought. *click* Anna almost gasped at the sound of Sam coming in to the room. Over the past month, she hadn’t had an episode of any kind. She knew how proud her room-mates were of her progress. She felt ashamed when Sam saw her sitting on the bathroom tiles with endless tears in her eyes and a toilet-bowl full of vomit. “Anna, what happened?” Sam asked quickly as he entered the bathroom. Anna simply shook her head with a sharp weep and teleported away. Sam couldn’t follow her; he couldn’t know where the hell in the world she went off to. All he knew was that he needed to find her to make sure she wasn’t hurt. Sam dashed out of the room to the kitchen. No one was left in the loft. He frantically rushed all around the loft to try to find Kurt, Jessica, or even Petey. There was not a sign of anyone in the apartment. “Where the hell is everyone?” Sam said to himself. “Rehearsing at that strip club,” John’s voice introduced itself back from the living room. Sam always found John’s unannounced entrances rather amusing, even in a time of panic like he was in now. “I was in Anna’s room for like, twenty seconds and they’re already gone?” Sam murmured. “That’s the beauty of teleportation,” John noted. “Where’s Anna?” Sam asked instantly. John shook his head. “I can’t tell you,” John said. “Bullshit. What about those little T.V. channels you have of us? Hook me up with her channel,” Sam ordered. “God censored it,” John stated. “Damn it. I just want to make sure she’s ok,” Sam said. “She’ll be fine,” John assured. Sam sighed as he wandered over to the kitchen. “I’m still going to find her,” Sam said. “How?” “I don’t know,” Sam said as he teleported away.


Sam really would never be able to guess where Anna went. I, however, knew exactly where she was; even though no one could see her. Central California Women’s Facility in Chowchilla, California. A prison, actually. Breaking into a prison was pretty easy for Anna. She’d done it a few times before. It was only morning in California. An invisible girl walked the halls of the prison, looking for a particular inmate. She walked silently passed numerous cells. Though some cells held quiet women passing their time with a book, Anna couldn’t find the one she was looking for. When she reached cell number 2939, the emptiness of the cell frustrated her. “Library,” she whispered to herself. Anna knew the prison pretty damn well already. She was even able to teleport straight to the prison’s library. When she reappeared in the library, she stayed invisible. She slowly walked down the corridors the stacks of books made. She reached a small area full of cheap wooden chairs and tables that were falling apart. Sitting in one of the chairs was a weathered woman reading an Edith Wharton novel. “The House of Mirth? Why the hell are you reading that?” an invisible voice asked. The prisoner didn’t flinch at all. She didn’t even seem surprised that a voice from nowhere was talking to her. “I find the irony humorous,” the prisoner said. The House of Mirth really has no irony in it, but when attached to the prisoner’s life, the irony becomes apparent. “Hi mom,” Anna said as she reappeared, sitting on an adjacent wooden chair. “Hello, Anna. Saw you in the news again today,” Anna’s mother said. “Please don’t tell me you’re reading AngelEye again,” Anna said. “Oh please, I don’t read that. I read it in the New York Times. We finally got last week’s issue over here,” the prisoner said as she closed her book. “Thanks for coming to see me again. I love seeing your face in person,” Anna’s mother said in a comforting voice. Anna smiled as she pushed back her hair from her face. “I told you I’d visit you at least once a week,” Anna said. “And I told you not to. But I’m glad you disobeyed me,” Anna mother said. On Anna’s mother’s orange prison outfit, there were the numbers 39482 along with the name Birch; first name Mary-Anne. “I still don’t know why you don’t let me bust you out of here,” Anna suggested. Mary-Anne simply smiled. “I did my crime and I’d like to do my time,” she said. “Hardly a crime in my opinion,” Anna argued. “Murder is murder; even if the victim deserved it,” Mary-Anne said as she stood up to put the book back. Anna followed as the two walked down the corridors of the library. “Besides, I like it here. It’s quiet and everyone leaves you alone if you don’t cause any trouble,” Anna’s mother continued. She looked up to the corners of the library. “Maybe you should turn invisible again, we’re around cameras you know,” MaryAnne suggested. “I don’t care. Guards know my name; I’ve even talked to a few. They understand,” Anna said.


“I guess. There really hasn’t been any backlash from any of your other visits. Just don’t let other inmates see you,” Mary-Anne requested. “Why? They don’t like me?” “They don’t know you’re my daughter. Not that I’m not proud of you; I just try to keep a low profile here and if they found out that you kill scummy people that might bring a lot of attention on me,” Mary-Anne explained. “I understand. I still think its bullshit that you’re in here,” Anna said. “Watch the language. It reminds me of your father,” Mary-Anne scolded. Anna flinched. “Sorry. He was actually the reason I needed to escape here for a while,” Anna said. She felt a lump in her throat. Mary-Anne approached Anna with open arms. “Don’t think of him. He doesn’t deserve to be in your memories,” Mary-Anne said as she hugged Anna. “You’re right… I just… it really killed me today,” Anna said, fighting back tears. “Oh honey… I’m sorry. He’s gone now, just remember that,” Mary-Anne tried to comfort her daughter. Anna couldn’t but cry in her mother’s arms. “I know, but that doesn’t stop the pain,” Anna said through her tears. “I heard his voice today. He was threatening me. I felt those same fists again,” Anna cried. “Fight back,” Mary-Anne demanded. This comforted Anna. “I just don’t know how,” Anna said with a frustrated voice. “Forget about him. If he’s not in your head you’ve won,” Mary-Anne said. “But he was practically a hero when he died,” Anna said. “A hero to the ignorant,” Mary-Anne said. Anna’s crying gradually faded away. “You’re a thousand times more a hero than he ever was,” Mary-Anne said. “Thanks mom,” Anna said softly as her tears dried up. Mary-Anne led Anna back to the reading area of the library and sat her down. “I’m so unbelievably proud of you, Anna,” Mary-Anne said. Anna smiled. “I know,” Anna replied. Meanwhile, back at The Act, Kurt and Petey sat in their dressing room. Petey had a ukulele and was casually strumming it as he lied on the couch. Kurt sat in his chair next to the table with a glass bong in his hand. Petey had really come to tolerate Kurt’s smoking. He really didn’t want to create any more conflict with his best friend. “Play me some Bob Marley,” Kurt requested as he took a hit. Petey started strumming a D-chord in a ska-like rhythm. After a brief introduction, he started singing. One love… One heart… Kurt blew out his hit with a gigantic grin and started singing along with Petey. Let’s get together and feel alright “Holy crap, you do a good Bob Marley impression,” Kurt complimented. Petey smiled back as he continued singing the verses. Hear the children crying Kurt joined in with his own harmonies, singing “One love” Hear the children crying (One heart) Saying give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel alright. The song was interrupted by Jessica as she quickly opened the door unannounced. She saw the smoke in the air and gave a frustrated look at her boyfriend.


“Are you getting my rabbit high?” she asked as she took Kurt’s bong from his hand. Petey continued playing the ukulele. “Have you heard him sing before?” Kurt asked, ignoring Jessica’s question. “Yes I have, he’s pretty damn good isn’t he?” she noted as she looked over to Petey, who seemed to be ignoring the two as he played his small instrument. He gently moved his head along with his beat, playing around with different chords on the strings. “…And now you’ve given him a contact high. Good going, Kurt,” Jessica said as she put away the bong. “He’s not high, he’s just into his music,” Kurt said. Petey didn’t seem to notice the two talking at all, as he continued to play. “Isn’t that right Petey?” Kurt asked. Petey again didn’t notice, too interested in his ukulele. He made his body flow along with his sounds while keeping his eyes closed. “Petey?” Kurt said in a louder voice. Petey finally turned his head up to Kurt and Jessica. His eyes were half-open and a little pink. “Wuh?” the rabbit mumbled. “Ok maybe he is a little high,” Kurt admitted. “Damn it, Kurt. He needs to perform in five minutes. Since when have you supported Kurt’s stoner lifestyle anyway, Petey?” Jessica asked. “I dunno, probably since I became a musician,” Petey said. “Well get up, we gotta play,” Jessica said as Petey dragged himself off the couch. Jessica quickly stormed off before Petey even stood to his feet. Kurt peered around the doorway to see that she was truly gone before making his next offer. “Want another hit before you go on?” Kurt asked as he grabbed the bong from the shelf where Jessica hid it. “Absolutely,” Petey said as he grabbed the water-pipe and smoked from it. Turns out the high that Petey was feeling was much more than a contact high. “I’m so glad you’re my smoking buddy now,” Kurt laughed as Petey exhaled. “I still think you abuse the stuff sometimes, but it helps me play well; plus if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em,” Petey said as he started to walk out of the dressing room. Kurt followed. “I just remember when you were a huge straight-edge, whatever happened to that?” Kurt said as the two walked backstage. “You introduced me to sex and drugs; and I’m used to following you,” Petey said. “God, I’m a terrible influence on you, ain’t I?” Kurt said. “Could be worse. You’re not the one telling me to kill people every day, you’re just suggesting ways to try to get through all that crap,” Petey said. “Y’know, I bet you when we eventually die and go to heaven, it’s just going to be this giant field of weed,” Kurt joked. When the time to play finally came, Jessica led her band onto the stage. Petey had worn an amber cowboy hat every time he played. He would tilt it down, almost covering his entire face. His ears bent down due to the hat, and formed a shape that looked like Petey simply had long hair. Petey’s stool was moved to the side of the stage while Jessica’s microphone stood center. Petey sat on his stool and plugged in his ukulele. Kurt watched from the audience, who seemed to be especially intrigued with Petey’s instrument. Petey had played for Jessica’s band for a little less than a month primarily as her bassist. However, he would sometimes play odd-job instruments that he was curious about.


“Thanks for coming out,” Jessica said to the crowd, who cheered loudly. The Act had become one of the most popular clubs in New York (and probably the world) due to the angels’ involvement. Petey introduced the song softly with a chord on the ukulele. It progressed and soon didn’t sound make like a ukulele at all. The way Petey was playing it, the tiny guitar sounded like a harp. Happiness… It hurt, like a train on a track Coming towards her stuck still, no turning back Kurt noticed that Jessica’s voice was much more delicate that it usually was. She sang quietly with a subtle bluesy tone. As she continued singing, Petey continued to play his instrument, swaying his head back and forth with the rhythm. She hid around corners and she hid under beds She killed it with kisses and from it she fled With every bubble she sank with her drink And washed it away down the kitchen sink Petey’s simple strumming then evolved to a complex melody that really extenuated the harp-like qualities of his playing. The rabbit had really learned how to perfect his musical abilities. The dog days are over The dog days are done The horses are coming So you better run… Kurt stared in awe throughout the song, equally impressed by Jessica’s soft singing and Petey’s expert playing. The band finally came together once the chorus hit, and Jessica’s voice returned to her normal power. Kurt looked up at the stage with a large grin on. The music mesmerized him beyond his own belief. After the chorus, however, the music stopped. After a second or two, Jessica’s voice reintroduced itself. And I… …never wanted anything from you Except everything… … you had and what was left after that too. Jessica’s tragic voice justified the lyrics’ contradiction. The entire audience watched in silence as Jessica sung the verses in a beautifully high-pitched tune. …Happiness, hit her… Like a bullet in the head… The song quickly transitioned back into a power-pop ballad. Jessica’s voice strengthened back up as she belted out the words ‘bullet’ and ‘head’ with exceptional force. Petey still kept his cool composure, not letting his eyes be shown under his hat.


… Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers Leave all your loving, your loving behind You can’t carry it with you if you want to survive The song started to reach its out-tro. After the chorus repeated for the last time, the song had finished. The crowd applauded and everyone on stage left except for Petey, who stood up and moved his stool closer to the microphone. “I feel like Jack Johnson,” Petey said on stage. The audience agreed as Kurt approached the stage. He gave a quick kiss to Jessica on his way up and eventually joined Petey. “What’s with the hat?” Kurt asked, referring to Petey’s cowboy hat. “I like it,” Petey answered simply. “You look like a furry, less-manly version of Toby Keith,” Kurt joked. Petey laughed and took the hat off. “Aww, I didn’t mean you to take it off, sorry,” Kurt said. “I only wear the hat when I’m playing anyways,” Petey justified. “Oh shit, we’re supposed to do a show right now, aren’t we?” Kurt remembered. He had honestly forgotten that he was still performing after Jessica. Then again, shows to him just consisted of cracking jokes with Petey. “Nah, I’m sure everyone’s fine with us just sitting around talking about nothing for a while,” Petey said. “Wait, isn’t that what we do every night?” Kurt asked. “Oh, right,” Petey admitted. The sun was high in Santa Monica. Sam walked down a long pier as he smoked a cigarette, trying to think where he might find Anna. He reached the end of the pier and looked out to the sea. The sun was starting to set as children ran around the pier with their parents tagging along closely by. Sam rested his arms along the railing of the pier and leaned forward. He tossed his cigarette into the sea and sighed. A few seconds later another man walked up and stood next to him. “Nice view, ain’t it?” the man said. Sam turned, and instantly recognized the man. Me. I stood next to Sam on that afternoon in Santa Monica. I wore my typical attire; it made me look like I truly belonged in the town. After Sam recognized me, he turned his head back to the sea. “You’re not going to tell me where Anna is, are you?” Sam assumed. “How’d you know?” I asked. “I know you too well. You want to see my continue running around southern California for a few more hours,” Sam said. “You gotta admit, that ‘flow’ power I gave you is pretty useful. Been fun flying around California, hasn’t it?” I replied. “I just want to make sure she’s safe,” Sam said sincerely. I smiled.


“She is,” I answered. “So why are you here? Just teasing me?” Sam accused. “I come to this pier every afternoon. It’s one of my favorite places. The fact that I met you here is purely coincidental,” I said. “Bullshit,” Sam said. “Fine, I want to lead you to Anna,” I replied. “Again, bullshit,” Sam said. “Ha, you do know me too well, Azrael,” I said. “I prefer ‘Sam,’ thank you,” Sam insisted. “Sorry, I just missed you,” I said. Sam turned to me with a slightly surprised look. “You missed me?” “Yeah, despite all that happened you’re still one of my favorite souls, I find you funny,” I said. “Is that why you sent me to hell?” “You know why I sent you to hell.” “Right. I was an asshole, I’ll admit it,” Sam said. “That’s probably the reason why you don’t want me calling you Azrael, isn’t it?” I assumed. “Correct, I’m Sam now.” “I’ve seen a bit more of Azrael lately in you though, it brings back some fond memories,” I said. “Fond memories? Now you’re really spewing out some bullshit there,” Sam said. “Oh please, don’t pretend like you don’t like your job. When I made you, I made it so you enjoy killing people. You loved your job thousands of years ago and you still love it today,” I said with a slightly harsher tone. “Fine. You’re right, I love killing scum every day,” Sam said. I had nothing to say to that. “…But over this past month I’ve really been able to compare my life as Azrael and my life as Sam,” Sam started. “Oh? Who do you like better?” I asked. “Sam,” he said confidently. “I liked Azrael better,” I replied. “Why?” “Because Azrael was a badass. You didn’t take shit from anyone, not even me,” I said with a smile. Sam couldn’t help but laugh to himself over my comment. “I find Sam to be a little more cultured than Azrael was. I guess I became a bit of a geek, and I like that,” Sam said with a certain comfort. “Well, I’m glad for you…” I started. “Bull…” Sam interrupted. I interrupted back before he could finish. “No, honestly. As long as I get to see Azrael during your kills, I’m happy. Speaking of which, I loved how you dealt with Mr. Tambourine Man. Shotgun to the face, classic,” I said. “I remember Mr. Tambourine Man from hell. He never talked, he only sang,” Sam said bluely. “Ah yes, Robert Carnigan; a musician sentenced to hell in 1350 for murdering his wife. He always watched what went on with the real world though, kept up with the pop cultures. The man probably knows more about music than anyone else in existence,” I said proudly.


“Shame he’s stuck in purgatory,” Sam said. “You sympathize with the demons too much,” I said, mimicking Sam’s voice. “It’s because I know them,” Sam defended. “Not all of them, I’ve put a lot more of them since 1492. They’re getting more evil every day, you wouldn’t sympathize with those bastards,” I said. “Eh, I believe you. Now I’m assuming you’re not going to tell me where Anna is, so I’m going to keep aimlessly wandering around,” Sam said as he started to walk away. “3382 Parker Street, Santa Monica,” I said. Sam turned around. “Is that where she is?” Sam asked. “No, but that’s where she will be,” I said. Sam turned back around and again started to walk away, as if ignoring my comment. “It was nice talking to you again,” I shouted as Sam continued to ignore me. “…Azrael,” I muttered as I looked back to the sea. Back at the prison, Anna and her mother continued to talk in the library. They had moved to a darker corner of the room, as Anna’s mother cautiously kept watch for any prisoners or guards that might recognize Anna. “You should get going,” Mary-Anne said. Afternoon was at its end, and the sun had finished setting. “I probably should, I think Sam’s worried sick about me,” Anna said. “Let him cheer you up, he seems like a nice guy,” Mary-Anne said as she stood up. “I will, thanks mom,” Anna said as she hugged her mother. “Maybe kill some people too, that might help,” Mary-Anne added, making Anna laugh. Anna smiled and waved good-bye to her mother before teleporting away.

Back at the loft, Kurt walked out of him room into the kitchen wearing a pair of pajama bottoms. His hair was a complete mess as he slowly shifted to the living room. The clock read 11:32, earlier than the usual crashing time for the angels. Kurt and Petey had separated after the show, Kurt couldn’t exactly remember how. Jessica was already fast asleep in Kurt’s room. Kurt was hazy himself, but had an urge to stay up. He sat on the couch and lit up a joint he had sitting on the table. He turned on the television to a cartoon channel and lied on the couch. Shortly after, the front door opened. Petey walked into the room with a ukulele in his left hand and a carrot in his right hand. Kurt sat up once he saw the rabbit. “Want a carrot?” Petey offered the carrot in his right hand. “Actually, yes I do,” Kurt said as he took the carrot and started eating it. “You owe me fifty bucks,” Petey said as he sat down. He turned his ukulele and started to play it softly. “Why?” Kurt asked as he took another bite of the carrot. “Because I got uku-laid,” Petey answered. Kurt almost spit out his carrot. “No way,” Kurt laughed. “It’s true, that little red-head in the front liked ukuleles apparently. She asked me to play for her after our set, so we went to the dressing room. One thing led to another


and next thing I know we’re making love to “Get Together” by the Youngbloods. I felt like such a hippy,” Petey said as he continued playing his little guitar. “I don’t believe you,” Kurt challenged. “I left some evidence back in the dressing room. Oh, by the way that couch is ruined now,” Petey said. “Dammit, I liked that couch,” Kurt said. “Also you don’t really have to pay me, the fact that you’re eating that carrot is payment enough for the bet,” Petey said as Kurt took another bite. Kurt looked extremely suspicious after Petey’s comment and inspected the carrot. “Oh God, where did you stick this carrot?” Kurt said as he continued to closely inspect the carrot. “I’m not telling,” Petey said. “Pink eye or brown eye?” Kurt said with a groan. “Jesus, Kurt what kind of rabbit do you think I am?” Petey said in a fake offended tone. Kurt looked back at the carrot. “Eh, I’m ok with it,” Kurt said as he took another bite. “It actually tastes better, gives it some spice,” Kurt analyzed humorously, making Petey laugh. “So who is this girl you did it with?” Kurt asked. “I dunno,” Petey said as he continued to play his ukulele. “You don’t even know her name?” “No, but she’s from Maryland, going back there tomorrow,” Petey said. “Ah, so she ended her visit to New York City with a one-night stand with a rabbit. Hooray, bestiality,” Kurt said as he lit up another joint. “Yup, she’s totally going to brag about it when she gets back,” Petey said as Kurt passed him the joint. “I’ve created a monster,” Kurt said as he put his palm over his eyes. “Who, me?” Petey said as he exhaled a hit from the joint and passed it back to Kurt. “Yup. I got you smoking weed and fucking strangers. I’m such a terrible influence,” Kurt laughed. “You really are,” Petey laughed back and continued playing his instrument. “Glad to see you’re getting so into music, though. You’re pretty damn good at it,” Kurt complimented. “I love it. I swear I don’t know how I lived without playing music,” Petey said as he closed his eyes and soaked into his music. Back on the west coast, the sun had almost completely set. On top of a large hill sat Anna as she looked out to the west, watching the sun disappear. She hugged her knees as she stayed sitting on a sidewalk in a cul-de-sac in a middle class suburban neighborhood. The streets seemed strangely dead. Anna had always remembered the street being full of kids. Anna heard some foot steps behind her. Before she turned around, she could already guess that it was Sam. “Hey,” Sam said quietly as he sat down next to Anna. She smiled slightly. “How’d you find me?” Anna asked. “I don’t know,” Sam answered. Anna leaned her head on Sam’s shoulder.


“How do you deal with a girl as fucked up as me?” Anna asked quietly in a strangely loving mood. “I remind myself that she’s beautiful,” Sam said as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “…That’s she’s kind, that she makes me happy,” Sam continued. Anna dug her head deeper into Sam’s shoulder. “That she deals with a guy as fucked up as me,” Sam finished. Anna raised her head and looked towards the sun. Her eyes glistened harshly. “I’m sorry I ran off today,” Anna apologized. Sam quickly interrupted her. “Don’t be. I understand,” Sam insisted. Anna lowered her head, playing with small rocks from the asphalt. A long silence separated the two. “Do you want to talk about it?” Sam asked. He had no idea what ‘it’ was, but he couldn’t stand the silence any longer. “Yes,” Anna answered quickly. “You want to go home?” Sam asked. “No,” Anna answered even quicker. “So, where’d you go when you left today?” Sam asked. “To visit my mom,” Anna answered quietly. Sam raised his eyebrows. “Your mother?” Sam asked. Anna had never told Sam or anyone else in the loft about her mother. Each of the angels simply assumed that Anna’s mother was dead or estranged from her daughter. “Yeah, I’ve been visiting her for the past few weeks now. I don’t know why I wanted to keep it a secret. Maybe I just find it weird that I’m the only one in the house that still has a connection to their past,” Anna said. She looked up towards a house across the street. “That used to be my house,” Anna pointed. Sam looked straight ahead with slight confusion. The house in front of him looked a brand new home that copied the style of the thousands of houses around the neighbored. “I mean, they tore it down and put up a new one, but it was there. I kind of wish they’d demolish some of my memories along with that house and replace them with new and improved ones,” Anna said. “I don’t know… The house just looks like every other house in neighborhood. Not much individuality,” Sam commented. Anna smiled, knowing that he was just trying to cheer her up. “It’s better than where my mother’s living,” Anna muttered. “Where’s your mother living?” “Prison,” Anna said straightly. “Why is she in prison?” Sam asked nervously. Anna took in a breath, preparing to tell Sam exactly why she had been so miserable all day. “My father was abusive, I don’t know if you could tell already… He worked as a police chief, so the entire community couldn’t believe when my mother and I starting speaking out against him. He was able to convince them that we were acting spoiled. I guess maybe we were spoiled… I suppose that every mother and daughter should tolerate the father getting fucked up every night and beating the shit out of us without any complaints,” Anna started. “But it really wasn’t the fists that were the worst. He would insult us every day and tell us that we were useless. I suppose I could ignore that as an adult, but even when I was five he’d threaten me. He drove my mother to anti-depressants,” Anna continued.


“So finally, when I was a freshman in high school, my mother decided she had enough and filed for a divorce. My father hired the best lawyers around, and claimed that my mother’s anti-depressant use made her a less suitable parent. He won custody of me, much to my dismay,” Anna said. “So he and my mom met up at the pier for one final confrontation. He teased her about losing custody, and eventually she snapped and gutted him,” Anna said. “Gutted him?” Sam asked. “She had a pocket knife in her pocket and sliced it from his heart down to his groin,” Anna said. “Sounds like my kind of woman,” Sam joked, trying to keep Anna in somewhat of a happy mood. She looked back up with tears in her eyes, but a small smile on her face. “She doesn’t deserve to be in prison. I keep trying to convince her to let me break her out, but she doesn’t want to leave. Maybe she feels comfortable in there, somehow,” Anna said. She then sunk her head into her knees as she sat on the ground. “I just don’t know how to forget him,” Anna said with a raspy voice. “You don’t need to,” Sam said. Anna lifted her head up. “I know it hurts to think about him, but you’re a freaking angel of death. Your asshole of a father’s life was probably just reset never to be remembered again, but you’re one of the most well-known angels in existence. If he were here today you’d rip him to pieces. Your life has already been worth a thousand times more than his,” Sam said. Anna smiled. “Thanks,” Anna said as she hid her head in Sam’s shoulder again. Sam wrapped his arms around Anna and held her as the sun disappeared to the west. After a moment of silence, Sam finally spoke. “Ready to go home?” Sam asked. “I think so,” Anna whispered as Sam teleported the two back home.