KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012

The Gods practised first on Heaven, then they made Kampot. Come and see why it's so special. Officially an unofficial guide to Kampot and its attractions, places to go and things to do.
P 1­10 P 10­15 P 15 P 15­16 P 17­19 P 19­22 P 23­24 P 25­26 P 27 P 28 P 29 P 30­31 P 32 Things to See and Do. Do's, Dont's and Local Info. Daily Events. Local Characters. Street Food Guide. Never Smile at a Crocodile. Ask Lucky. Potted History. Learn some useful Khmer. Projects & Volunteering. Transport, Useful Numbers. Bars, Food & Rooms, Contact us. Not a Map.

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Survival Guide

In this issue...

Bokor Mountain (The Hill). A National Park, construction site and area of historic interest. Tours can be sorted through the many tour operators or your guest house, although now you can again go up alone by hiring a moto (check the map on page 8). Atop the hill are the ruins of both the French built resort and the Khmer re­vamp of the site in the 60's. The story starts in 1917 when the French founders started the construction of the road, it took six years to complete and claimed over a thousand lives. The “Bokor Palace Hotel” opened in

Things to see and do...

1925 and catered for the wealthy, although it was never used as a casino. In 1940 it closed and stayed so until 1959 when Sihanouk (twice king and former prime minister) made the decision to make the site a world class resort. In 1963 the hill re­opened with the added attraction of Cambodia's first casino in what is sometimes now called the “new hotel”. The complex continued to operate till 1972 when it once again closed. Sokha Hotels are currently building three new hotels and casinos on the hill, one is already open! They also plan to open a huge housing estate with a prospective population of over 100.000 people living up there. So lets hope it's third time lucky cos till now the hill has never made buck one!

New Statue of Ya­Mao on Bokor Hill

KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012 River, Boats & Trips. The river is really an estuary, thus its level only varies with the tide and in heavy rain, it is therefore salty and supports sea life for the greater part of the year, fish and crab following their preferred saline levels through the seasons, Tek Chhou is the breaking point and beyond there it's all fresh water. It is very possible to hire a boat and crew for the day, ask at your guesthouse or at one of the bars, most will be able to help, but the best trips by far are those with Bart the Boatman 092174280. Popular trips are up the river and its lost turns stopping at a couple of riverside establishments to refresh, down the river to the sea is good too with a nice view of the Cambodian navy and fishing fleets, and of course the sunset cruises. For the early bird dolphin watching trips are also possible, check Prek Thnout Community. Rapids (Tek Chhou). A series of stones in flowing water, a major tourist resort for the Khmer and fun for all, cool crystal clear water running down from the semi de­mined hills of Bokor. Unfortunately as there are now dams upstream the quantity of flowing water may be disappointing, but it's still worth a look. One of the many Generals here has recently built a spa on the back of this water, he claims it has health improving qualities and has called it "Tada Bokor", so we have spring water as well as just bottled now! The Front. The east bank is commonly just termed the “front” and it's a great place to be for sunset and dar­ling, strolling, rolling and conversing around sunset. Most of the foreigner orientated business' are concentrated along this strip or near to it, so it's a great starting place for the evening, later opening bars tend to be further from the front, on your way home!

Beach. There are a few beaches within spitting distance of Kampot, those at Kep and the so called secret (Angkaul) beach, ones to the south of Kampot and those about 17Km toward Snook along highway 3. There are even tide dependent beaches all along the river, Utopia and the Green House have their own beaches that defy the tide. Some of the beaches still bear the scars of seaweed farming with masses of wooden poles piercing the shallow sea, between them are typical Khmer houses built on stilts, 500m or more out to sea. Fish Isle & Nut Hill. Go over either bridge towards Snook and turn second left, soon you

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will cross a bridge, you are now on fish isle, keep to the main part of the road and eventually you will get to the new trails and then the coast. It's a stunning place to explore with amazing 270° views that are far too good to miss!

Legend of Kampot terms

Pot = Kampot. Pot­pat® = x­pat living in the Pot. Snook = Sihanoukville / Kompong Som (where Pot­pats go to die). Bodge = Cambodia/Cambodge. GH = Guesthouse. PP = Phnom Penh. Fish Isle = Koh D'tray. Nut Hill = Phnom Dung. Nuts = Coconuts. Snail = Backpacker. Boom boom = body cavity/sausage massage. Gaylim = daelim from Kep or with basket. Taxi girl/boy = body cavity/sausage masseur. Repeat offender = tourist or x­pat that keeps returning to the Pot. JF = KSG's first ace reporter, Jack the Father. Glue = tobacco substitute. KSG = Kampot Survival Guide. X­Pot = X Pot­pat. The Hill = Bokor Mountain. Poofta = one who is kepish or not really trying (Belgian in origin). Pirate = someone on a boat trip. KFC = Kampot Football Club. http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com

Caves. There are many caves around Kampot, many have Buddhist shrines with specific powers, so you may well see people camped there seeking help for their ailments. Though by far the best caves are at Kampong Trach, it may cost you a little more to get there but its worth it, about 40km toward the Vietnamese border. The National Zoo! Along the Tek Chhou road and just past Utopia you will find the Zoo. You can enjoy the zoo in many ways, it will shock you but you will enjoy it. It has a surprisingly large range of animals from all over the world, most of which you will see as they don't make cages where the animals can hide. Paying a small extra charge lets you ride your moto, tuk tuk or drive a car round the zoo, just to make sure the specimens are awake. Strangely the Zoo also has rooms available, but the cages are much cheaper.

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should be enough to keep you happy. To get there head towards Kep and turn left at the KW or Kilowatt = Number of Watts or rhino, then go straight on till you see the water, Pagodas per province. easy. Up the river from the rapids the Chinese 9mm = The gap between any two items that are constructing a huge dam, we all hate it too should be connected. as it's flooded us all at least twice, but the finished project will produce 180MW with just Power to weight ratio = If you have power, you don't have to wait (also applies to money). the small cost of 2K hectares of national park. Pagodas. Look for the tell tale fancy gates and Maximum passenger load = there is always soon you will see the Pagodas, the monks are space for one more. always happy to see you and practise their Western Conversions. English, do wear suitable clothing when 1 Khmer unit = 1.5 – 2 Western units. visiting, don't show too much flesh that is. This works for prices, sizes, drinks, seats and Secret Pagoda. It's not really a secret and distances. hardly a pagoda, but it's one of the seven secret places the Pot used to boast (the not so secret Museum. With the recent loss of the cultural lake was never one of them!). There are two center in Kampot no proper museums exist at ways of getting there, walking or riding, I present, but lo, we have a saviour in the name know which method I would choose cos it's up of Jean­Michel Filippi. He plans to open a regional interactive museum, he has a website a steep hill. To get there head up towards the rapids, if you plan to walk the turning you want too, check it out. is a left before the zoo, riding you go for the http://kampotmuseum.wordpress.com/ left turn after the zoo, there is a statue of a Magic (White) Mountain. With a little help you may be able to find this one, it's more of a young prince on the way up, he eventually hill than a mountain but its still a sod climbing became Buddha. Take a camera as the views are stunning. it, scattered around the hill are shrines and at Bird House. Thanks to the Chinese influence the top you may well meet the witch and her two followers, don't piss them off as the spells they cast are good. Waterfalls. The falls are seasonal here, there is little point in visiting during the dry season and they can be hard to get to in the wet. Most moto drivers and all guides will know how to get you to the most popular ones, at worst it should only take you two hours to walk to them, though much longer if you are stupid and decide to wear flip flops. It's said that one set of falls has been seen by less than 10 westerners since its discovery in the early 1900's, so don't bother asking where they are. Trekking. Use guides and stick to the paths, take the given advice, if you plan to do the hill contact the Rangers or a tour that uses them, it's dangerous up there so take sensible things with you, ipods rarely save lives. Dams and Lakes. A series of small dams have recently been repaired just outside Kampot, they were originally built as a KR project and never a secret lake, but they lasted till the late 90's when one failed. Now they are rapidly becoming touristed with a small selection of bars n cafe's skirting the edges of the reservoir and the durian plantations. Rubber rings and peddilo boats may be hired though the scenery

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Standard Cambodian Units.

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in Kampot we have many bird houses that produce a truly Chinese delicacy, birds nest soup. Some of these houses are make shift and others are specially built for the job. On the Tek Chhou road next to the generator plant a huge bird house has been built, just look for a big house with no windows. They simulate cave conditions and tempt the birds in by playing looped bird calls, playing loudest at sunrise and sunset. Bridges. We have 3 of them, all can be walked but by far the most fun is the railway bridge, take a walk over it and check out the battle damage. The new bridge is now a fashionable meeting place for kids, especially now it has new road markings, painted on just over a year after its opening. The old bridge is still just a death trap, be careful in the wet or at sunset! Railway Station. Futuristic design in a corrugated rust peppered steel shell. For a taste of how good this station is check out the one 16Km towards Snook, it's just off the main road and somewhat lacking in the walls and roof departments, but it still makes a cracking picture. A company called Toll Holdings won the concession to revamp these lines over four years ago, they promised we would have a working train system within two years that would speed us to pp in about three hours, we are still bloody waiting! Bamboo Train. Running on the main rail lines (where available) these small make shift trains are/were available for rent, tour groups and moto drivers know/knew how to get you rolling on one of these moto powered trains, rumours also suggest you may well be able to enter Vietnam by one, though the legalities are somewhat doubtful. Port. A deep water port is under construction not far past the entrance to Bokor, no prizes for guessing what traffic they are looking for, yep http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com

cruise ships to fill the new rooms and casinos on the hill, although they do have a free trade zone planned too. It could be an interesting trip if you have never seen a port being built. Kampot Airport, KMT (Daelim Drag­racing Track). Along the Tek Chhou road and opposite the school is the old air strip, or as we have it now the Daelim drag strip. Recently it hosted trials between the cream of Kampot and the best of Snook. Expect more action soon as the national league is formed, also expect Kampot to be atop of this league. Pepper. Bloody good pepper is grown in these

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parts, probably the best in the world! Basic tours are available everywhere but for the full story contact "Sok Lim Tours" as they are planning specialised tours. So go out to a plantation and see how it's grown and don't forget to buy some before you leave here. Durian (the king of fruits). This is what the area is famous for, the worlds best durian fruit. A spiky smelly fruit, eat with your mouth not your nose! There are many plantations along the Tek Chhou road to the rapids. Salt. This is a major Kampot export, south of

the city are many salt flats skirting the coasts and the salty rivers, some of the easiest to see are on fish isle, second left over either bridge and straight on, or just head south along the east bank of the river. There is a theory rice production is about to be started in these very areas, the worlds first ready salted rice will be Khmer! Pot Holes. The pot hole was invented in Kampot and is still it's greatest export. Initially devised for traffic control it's popularity recently soared with Cambodia's adoption of "free range golf". A game where you hit a golf ball in any direction with the intent to end its travel in a pot hole. Water Sports. The world is your lobster here with an ever expanding choice of ways to play in the river. At present we have canoes, speed boats, jet ski's, wind surfing, water skiing, kite surfing and more, check out the ad's or listings for more details. Aquatic Centre. The National Olympic Committee of Cambodia has just opened the country's first Aquatic Centre here in the Pot, it's intended to give training for rowers competing in the Olympic, SEA and Asian Games but will eventually be used for recreation and tourism. So get down there and check out the dragon boats. Boxing. Official boxing events do happen here but not often, though it's far more likely you will see bar owners squaring up to each other late on the front, this is all part of the build up for Kampot's Inter Bar Boxing Championship to be held next season, Snook has a similar project for sumo and Kep is going the mud wrestling route. Football. You can often catch a game at the Olympic stadium near the main traffic circle,

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KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012 there has even been a couple of tournaments there, so check it out it could be fun. Volley ball. Sporadic games are played at the waste ground near the old bridge, find a good moto to lean on or sit on the wall. Pétanque/Boules. A game played with metal balls and becoming increasingly popular in the Pot, you will see many locals lobing balls in their spare time. There are plenty of pitches around that you may be able to get a game, though the easiest to find are at the Boules bar and Blissful GH. Badminton. Epic Arts performance centre has facilities for playing, equipment may be hired and booking in advance seems like a good idea to avoid disappointment. Gym. There is no official gym in the city, Orchid guest house used to have some weights and a bench, Utopia has a make shift jungle type gym with the extra attraction of training with Max the knife. Recent reports suggest there may well be a boxing style gym open across the river, it's on the Tek Chhou road and between the bridges. Fishing. It's possible but don't expect to be as good as the locals are. Ultimately fishing only gives you practise at waiting, that's why it's not called catching. Golf. No we do not have a course yet but one is in the way, on fish isle so we are told. The closest golf may well be the crazy golf course at the "Magic Sponge". For a proper course you'll have to go to PP. Swimming. Swimming within the city limits is strictly prohibited with the exception of the river, which has been designated the official swimming pool, several bars have offered free beer to the first to swim a length. But do bear in mind the nature of the river and its tidal cycles before jumping in, the tide means that shite dropped in the river during the dry season hangs around, so it may be better to head further up the river, or to the rapids or the beach. Swimming Pools. Borey Bokor I has a pool where you can pay per day, the cost may be as high as $5 per a day. Pools further out include Villa Vidici and Nataya, with almost everywhere in Kep having pools, but access may be limited or expensive. Pool. There are but a few tables in the city and all of them are obstructed. A couple of Khmer places have rough ones, Bodhi Villa has a reasonable table upstairs, the Magic Sponge, Wunderbar and Madi's also have tables of http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com

differing qualities. Palm Wine. A natural and traditional local drink, best taken close to where its made, any moto or tuk tuk driver will be happy take you out to try some, but be careful it's surprisingly strong and smells like sour milk. Rice Wine. This fella can really batter you, it's bloody cheap and well strong, many Khmer café’s will have large jars full of the stuff, usually with strange additives in them, like odd vegetables and dead reptiles, caution is recommended. Shopping. Almost everything is available in the mass of shops between new and old bridge streets, the market etc. There are also supermarkets, OK, well two and they are on the main and the salt workers traffic circles. Market. What can I say, markets are markets and are the same the world over, crowded hot and cramped, but you can buy cheap food and all sorts of goods there. Old Market. Piercing the front is the end of the old market, it has been home for the homeless but most recently its was used for boat storage and indoor volleyball matches, we think the boats may have been rescue boats for the rainy season. Soon though the market will

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re­open as stalls are now on sale, get in quick if you want one! Hospital. Between the old and new bridges you will see the hospital, it's been under heavy construction and is filling us all with hope as many forign nationals have been stocking it up with new high tech equipment. Remember it is a referral hospital so it may well be closed when you have your accident. Near the new bridge road is a flash clinic that has been useful for filling the out of hours gap. Best of all is the new Sonja Kill Memorial Hospital near to the Bokor Hill entrance, it currently has out patient service from highly qualified western and Khmer Doctors. So now we have a choice! Prison. Well worth a look, see just what you can expect if you seriously cross the line here. On average there are two westerners in the prison all the time, so be good! Prisoners are often seen around town working in sort of chain gangs, but without the chains, it seems none of them try to escape. It's usually OK to http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com

take pic's but if they're on guard, ask first. Pond (mosquito farm). Just back from the front is the pond, it's a pretty spot and quite picturesque, it may even be worth fishing there. Massage. You are spoilt for choice here but my X­wife's particular favourite is the Srey Chann 017621958, she has a shop just round the corner from the post office. Seeing Hands Vb is next to Bar­Red and is good. Fragrance offers stylish surroundings and similar wares and is one street back from the front. Manicure. A late night emergency service is now available at the new clinic, for standard service try Tokyo Salone opposite Bar­Red or Jolie Jolie near Paris GH.. Betting. Once upon a time the government licensed betting offices, this avenue of pleasure has now been taken away from the average Khmer, religion may well be the only gamble the Khmer have left. But down at the border crossing things are different, in no­mans land they have built several casinos, one even has a 8 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/

watch out for cows n kids, go really slow on dirt roads or in the rain and always show the Pot­Pats your latest wounds. Dirtbike Rental. Dirtbikes in Cambodia are inherently gay as everywhere a dirtbike goes, a Daelim has been before, probably carrying 4 people and all their luggage. They are however available for rent, be careful. Cinema. As all four cinemas in town closed a long time back, the city is now without such facilities, until December 2009 that was as the Royal Theatre was re­opened to host Cambofest, an international film festival. Kampot also has couple of semi big screens, check advertising to see who is showing what and where. Epic Arts and Kepler Books sell DVD's too, which could be handy if you have access to a player. Nightlife. The Pot has a full compliment of nightlife available, with late night bars, food Bar, Restaurant and and now even a night club. Riverside Bungalows Live Music. Several warring factions ofyear, musicians have graced Kampot bars this On The Papaya Salad Rd almost all of them so expect to hear live music along the river and side streets. Sadly Tek Chhou driftingbattle of the bands has occurred yet, no real 088 8863 071 though we are told Pot musicians are in the booking office near to the bus station, pop in an middle of a price war. Several open mic nights exist too so check out the chalk boards for see what offers they have. A new hotel and more details. casino has just opened on the hill, it's not in a Karaoke. There are many opportunities to very picturesque spot, but casino's don't need sing your heart out in Kampot, most such views. Cyclo Rides. Due to the eccentricities of Pot­ establishments dot the outskirts of the city but a Pats Kampot now has Cyclo rides on offer, you few have sneaked within the city limits, to find may even be able to rent one to get a real taste them hire a Tuk Tuk or follow the noise, but be aware these places are there to make money, of work, so go and get sweaty. this is done via hostesses or inflated prices. Moto Rental. It's popular, it's fun and it's Boom Boom (Sausage Services). There are dangerous. Motos are cheap to rent and very available, the roads however are pretty bad and many venues for internal body massage within this fair city, currently over 15 and normally local traffic rules will evade you, so go slow, aimed at a quick fire one stop service. Don't

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ever think it's like Thailand, Snook or PP, it's Khmer style business, Mc Donald's of the east. Just look for red lights at night (with the exception of the red neon bar sign!) or visit one of the many late night Karaoke bars. Oh, and there is no truth in the rumour that you win a badge for doing all 15 in one night. Whatever you do, always use a wilkinson (love sock)! Gay. Kampot now has a thriving gay scene, so much so that there is little point in going to Kep any more. Sadly there are no set bars or clubs to accommodate the masses, though the Dragon Club does its best. So you will have to

look around, thankfully all bars are gay friendly. Kep. Day trips are OK but further investigation seems unnecessary, unless you're a loner or a romancing couple wanting to get away from it all. All that said, Kep has some odd qualities that strangely shine through, empty houses, trails and beaches make for easy and pleasurable exploring, also with businesses in Kep being an average of over 1km apart you will get some maybe needed exercise. The King. Probably the coolest King in the world, never seen without a smile and an encouraging word, truly a great man. He also has a cracking sense of humour, and although he lives in Siem Reap we know he has a soft spot for the Pot. It's OK to ask questions about the King, everybody seems to love to talk about him, my X­wife has even had an audience with him, a joking and laughing affair. See, it's not odd here like it is in Thailand. Locals. Generally very friendly, all will want to help you, many will want to practice their English on you so be prepared for a slow start to the conversation, and watch out for the kids and their “hello ambushes”. Pot­Pats. Many Pot­Pats grace Kampot, some working on projects and manning the many western businesses, others eke out an existence in unknown manners, all will be bored of travel tales and backpacker woes, but most will also be happy to talk to interesting folk for the price of some beers. Beggars. Stump envy has hit Kampot with able bodied beggars renting crutches, be sure to check the quantity of limbs before donating to some of these beggars, but don't forget some people rely on these donations for survival,

Do's, Dont's and Local Info...

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KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012 there are no pensions or free health service's here. Backpackers. Known as snails to Pot­Pats, pregnant if wearing two backpacks (when seen without backpacks they are sometimes called naked or slugs). Usually seen walking from GH to GH while fully packed, being too damn tight to pay for a moto driver or tuk tuk that would help them (yes you, put my guide back you tight git!). Generally welcomed in city bars as long as the money is good, rumours of backpackers being shot on sight in Kep are unfounded. Hippies. Several have been sighted during the past few months but in vastly diminishing numbers, the secret eradication scheme seems to be working, a local spokesman states: “We are glad to see an end to the 'Suspected Hippies In Transit' problem”. Backpacks. Contrary to common backpacker belief, you do not need to carry a backpack all the time in Kampot, nor do you need to carry water bottles. In seven years of living here I have never needed more than pocket space for all necessary items, if I need a drink I buy one from the many vendors, and it's cold too! Lonely Planet. After years of research, the actual use of the Lonely Planet guide has been discovered. The book in its true form should be held in front of the user, so the said user may read the content you may think, but wrongly. It is actually just used as a counterbalance to the backpack the user is wearing, QED. Rough Guide. Very similar to the LP but soon to be updated. Actually we know the budget for updating this baby, it cost an air fare and six weeks of $20/day, a total of less than $2000, so it's very doubtful this update will be extensive. Footprint Guide. This fella was a brand new guide, written from scratch we were told. It was most surprising when reading the listings within it that it listed businesses that had closed more than six years previous, a very bloody poor effort indeed! Sun. A bristled head is not adequate UV protection so always wear a hat, local sunblocks also have added ingredients you may wish to avoid, i.e. bleaching agents to whiten your skin, so watch out. Money. The power of the dollar is failing, thus some establishments will offer you exchange rates as low as R3800 to the $1, it's a good time to switch to the Euro. Haggling. Bartering is expected in markets, http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com

it's fun and should find a price both parties are happy with, but if you see a price listed that's the price you pay. Smokes. Cigarettes are cheap and plentiful here but watch out you don't run short late at night, or you may pay some guy on the street double price for an open pack. Glue. Smoking weed in Kampot is generally a no no, a few places may allow you to smoke in an out of the way place but ask first, further out of town it's less strict. Don't forget it's illegal to sell weed in Cambodia, so don't bother asking the Pot­Pats to sell you some, you won't get any and you will get offended. Beers. Draught beer has hit Kampot, currently we have three different flavours, Cambodia Beer, Anchor and Angkor, my fave is Cambodia as it's the only one thats owned by Cambodians, Anchor is brewed under a Singapore license and Angkor is owned by the Danes and Malaysians. Many canned and bottled beers are available to suit all tastes, but the local fave is Anchor cans, it separates residents from tourists who insist on drinking Angkor, sometimes in big bottles, warm beer users are odd! 11 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/

KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012 Water. Don't drink the tap water, old old story, but you can purify it by adding two parts vodka to one part tap water. Bottled water is available everywhere, even the cheapest is OK but tastes differ, just look for shops with an orange ice box outside, and to be honest, I have found nowhere in the Pot where you can't see cold water for sale, so it's silly to carry water with you. Food. All the food is good here, the ice is good too, so don't be a poof about it. Most businesses serve food till about 21.30, if you miss that window of opportunity not all is lost but your choice drops dramatically, check out the street food guide later in this rag. MSG. Man­made salty gravy, not seen in most restaurants due the the availability of fresh produce, however it's totally necessary on instant noodles. Toilets. There are no western type public toilets in Kampot, but all proper bars have them, phew! Khmer toilets are everywhere, every bush, tree and sign is fair game. The Bum Gun. Possibly the best invention ever and has made possible the true paperless office. Kampot is now a high water pressure area so be careful while practising, turn on a tap to help reduce the spray pressure. It's other uses are many fold and range from the intended bum cleaning to ant control, but possibly my fave is mosquito killing, use the gun to shoot the buggers down and let surface tension do the rest. Doctoring. There's a Pharmacy on the main traffic circle, its a well stocked first call, from there its possibly best to check the new clinic near the new bridge road or the Sonja Kill Memorial Hospital, from there PP and then Bangkok, best of all just don't get ill. Even if you are not ill you could always just have a

medical treat, you could have an x­ray or body scan for $10 or so, so go on, spoil yourself.

Dehydration. This is what we all have to watch out for, it's all too easy not to drink enough, eventually you stop sweating and overheat, cooking yourself. So keep the fluids coming in. Elephants. No we do not have our own elephant but we do have one visit from time to time, it comes from Chook and pops down with a magic medicine man selling charms to the masses, it usually stops at the market but has been sighted on the Tek Chhou road heading for the rapids, probably on the way for a swim. Dangerous Animals. Reports of crocodile and shark attacks in the river are unproven, tiger and bear on the hill also have a disappointingly low body count, the last elephant reported apparently packed its trunk and headed off to join the circus, snakes and spiders are rarely seen due to their prominence on local menus, so it's unlikely you'll have any animal problems here, it's far more dangerous riding bikes. Dogs. Now these can be a problem. Most Khmer families have dogs (actually all dogs in Cambodia have the same name, dog, pronounced “ch kai”) and at night they put them on the streets to protect their property. Problem is that the later it gets the more the dogs protect, they form packs, gangs and send coded messages across town coordinating their attacks. When staggering home late, walk in the middle of the road with a confident pace, if you are hounded turn round sharply and cock your arm ready to throw imaginary stones at them, it works. If you do actually get bitten take it seriously and get rabies shots, preferably in the Pasteur Institute Phnom Penh, get them straight away and they're cheap, wait and you

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will get a huge bill or die. Cats. Most cats here are genetically stunted, well their tails are. They are not mutilated at birth as some think, they actually come out that way, poor sods. It seems they were introduced by the French along with sparrows and pigeons, but in insufficient numbers so their gene pool is very limited. Malaria/Mosquitoes. There are no major malaria problems in Kampot, there are however many mosquitoes so get some deet on. If you intend on doing the hill put lots of deet on as there you can actually get malaria, oh and don't trust the local medicines as many are Chinese fakes, as they are too in many of the local clinics, so beware! Ants. All ants are bastards, ask any local or Pot­Pat. Avoid encouraging them by not bringing food into your room, protect your drink with the condensation formed on your glass, produce a small puddle and the ants will leave your pop alone. Try not to stand in the same place too long, ants attack feet regularly, watch out for tree ants too, they're big red and usually attack from above. Local kids have found offensive uses for these savage creatures, it has been known for people to be hit by ant bombs, whole nests of pissed off tree ants are thrown at their intended target, devastating. Coconuts. Nuts are a real problem, they claim as many as 600 lives each year in Thailand, so avoid loitering around the bottom of nut trees, unless you want to help us beat the Thai's. Lightning. More than 100 deaths every wet season, and the last one was quite an average wet season! It's a good idea to think about where you are standing when it rains. Statues. Most road junctions are marked with a statue, it makes sense when a large part of the population cannot read, it makes it possible to travel long distances without maps or sign http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com

posts, i.e. go straight on at the rhino and then turn left at the horse. Walking. It's safe walking in Kampot, but a couple of bag thefts have been reported recently, this is new and a very rare thing, so don't panic! Just avoid using bags, if you need a bag look after it and only put the things you need in it. Parking. Generally its OK to park anywhere in Kampot, but do have a look to see if you are parking in someone's drive, Khmer get pissed off if they can't get their land cruiser in the drive, Pot­Pats throw rocks at you, parking can

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KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012 be tough in some areas! So park outside the business you are visiting, or along the river side of the front. As to parking yourself it's best to take a room, sleeping out may cost you a lot more in fines! Electricity. Do not bet on the timing or length of power cuts, the supplier and Cambo 6 have the system rigged. Street Lighting. Don't expect any and you won't be disappointed. Some of the main areas now sport fancy lanterns and make for favourable routes across town, but sadly the majority of the city is without. Take a torch with you if you are staying out of the way and plan to be out late. Kep has recently installed street lighting along its beach front, this is not for the pleasure of tourists but to attract crabs. Banks. There are two main banks in Kampot, Acleda and Canadia, both should be able to help. Canadia Bank also has a new ATM that accepts all major cards with the ATM at Acleda only accepting Visa cards. A new bank with ATM has just opened on the PP road towards the market, too much choice! Post Office. Ah, opening times, er well this is Cambodia and things don't always run to strict timetables, but the best time I have found is mid morning, after that you are in unknown territory. The office will also close for every public holiday and half excuse. Photo Shop. There are a few capable photo shops in town, a couple on the main traffic circle and one past the market. Internet and International Calls. There are many net cafés in the city, some of them being situated along old bridge street and some on or near to the front, all should be able to handle voice over internet calls, CD burning, printing and basic surfing. Book Shop. There is the newsagent near the main traffic circle and Kepler's books opposite

the old market, some guest houses also sell books. Newsagent. Near the main traffic circle is a newsagent, its well stocked in Kampot terms and can be handy if you really want a copy of the previous days news, yes they keep them for odd sods like me. TV. We have cable TV here but the channel selection is limited, retune your set to access any new channels available. Pay per view is available for channels not normally supplied, a case of Anchor usually does it. Radio. There is one radio station you can receive on FM, Kampot's local one in Khmer, short wave gives you more choice but you can still only get 12 hrs of BBC. Weather. “There are holes in the sky where the rain gets in, but they are only small, that's why rain is thin” words of wisdom by Spine Millington. According to our weather team rainy season is here, so expect to get wet. If it does rain on you remember to claim your visa refund, $5 for each day of rain, be sure to save some rain as proof. Joking apart the rain always warns you when it's coming, if the wind gets up, take cover! Police. If you manage to get entangled with the police its probably best to get your guesthouse involved, do tell the Pot­Pat's too as they love a good laugh, and don't expect sympathy from anyone, its a Khmer way to laugh at such things, especially death. Theft. There is very little theft in Kampot, but try not to put temptation in people's way. Your shoes however may well be in danger, this very real threat is from drunken backpackers, so watch out! Politics. There are three main parties operating within Kampot province, the “Tupperware Party” the “Anne Summers Party” and the “Fancy Dress Party”. It's best not to go too far

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KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012 into Khmer politics, just accept it. Corruption. There is no corruption in Cambodia, none at all! The country, like all of its neighbours, is commission based, that's why it's so easy to do things here, everybody will help you because they earn a small fee for their effort. Commission. Please refer to corruption. Dar­ling. A daily slow motorbike race come stunt bike trials along the river front, displays every night all along the front at sunset. Fishing Boat Race. “Gok­sok” is the current leader of the league but competition is hotting up, every afternoon around 5pm they race down the river to the rich pickings of the sea, it's a nail biting thriller that sets the frame for sunset and the end of another hectic day. Traffic Circle. Occasionally there are concerts, fairs and promotions at the main traffic circle, there may be live music, films, stalls and games to play, so get down there if you suspect something maybe on. Shrimp Fishing. Every evening you will see men with miners' lamps scouring the river banks hunting for shrimp. Its worth a look as the guys are always friendly. Fruit Stalls. Every evening old bridge street fills up with fruit shake stalls, various strange fruits are converted to fluid before your very eyes, it's worth a look. Line Dancing. At sunset in the park behind the old market local fatties attempt to loose excess weight, it's a serious affair and costs money to join in, though it's enough fun just watching. $100 Prize offered for the first reader with confirmed sightings of all listed characters, tick them off as you go, preferably with photographic evidence and thumb prints. Note: We no longer list Khmer characters due to local western liberal minded, do gooder, racist, NGO type complaints. □ Crazy Frog. There are two contenders for the title of “crazy frog”, neither are French but both mimic their chosen idol closely, rarely seen together but both parade the river front almost daily. □ Darth Vader. Large shiny foreigner seen cruising the front during opening hours, it is suspected that he is engaged in market http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com

Daily Events...

research, selected candidates are interrogated in situ wherever he catches them, watch out for this odd character. □ Push Bikie Man (AKA Jack the Father or JF). Sweaty skinny foreigner always seen attached to some form of pedal powered transport, Bokor Hill is no challenge for this guy so his local knowledge of impassable trails is unsurpassed within the Province, often offensive to tourists and Pot­Pats alike, approach with caution. □ Racy Dog. Racy patrols a beat around the 2000 monument, he is currently unbeaten by any form of motor transport, probably all you will see of him is his clean pair of heels as he passes you. □ Bag Lady. Seen cruising the streets on a modified bicycle with basket, has a total obsession with plastic bags but is rarely seen with any, contact should be avoided. □ Mr Tongue. Seen performing at the home of gurning, a somewhat corroded establishment. Observed clearing his or others nostrils with his tongue, a must see. □ Mr Spoons. Utilising the latest spoon tuning techniques, Mr Spoons is devising new methods of mine detection and destruction.

Local Characters...

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KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012 This pasty munching spoon playing jeep riding fella should be avoided in polite conversation. Last seen performing Indiana Jones impressions along the front. □ Predator. Following his successful movie career Predator has settled in the Pot, truth be told he actually twatted Arnie, anyhow you may catch sight of the big man either on land or water as he is a nautical type and mostly friendly. □ Bat Woman. Working a beat from the Pot to PP Bat Woman dispatches mosquitoes to Buddha for rapid reincarnation, sometimes seen wheilding two bats in a martial arts frenzy, somewhat akin to the star wars movies, at selected bars only. □ Ringo Starr (AKA Crash Test Dummy). This jovial fellow has crash tested most moto's on hire in Kampot, he will gladly show you his latest wounds at a local guest house, totally harmless and answers to “Eric”, though in an angry fashion. □ Sand Man. Often seen scooting around on wheels or rowing his boat, usually looking for lost shoes and food. Like most Scots he has strange sleeping habits so also look for him in sand piles, ditches and drives, friendly to all. □ Gnome. Can be seen traversing the roads late at night in search of fluids, this rain ready fellow has aspirations of being a jockey, so never turn your back on him, he also attempts terminator impressions, usually friendly and mostly harmless. □ Vibro Man. Submitted by David of H Infamy's Spouse. This guy patrols the taxi ranks practising his Bilbo Baggins impressions, requiring vast amounts of fluids for these performances he may well apply to you for sponsorship, and if he likes you he might even show you his collection of vibrating electrical

appliances, unmissable! □ Comba Crew. This trio of musically minded folk perform mime and air guitar whilst keeping their eyes closed in fear of popping. Seen most evenings at musically minded bars. □ Gandhi Man. This spindle legged fellow can be seen during the early evenings, usually clad with some form of writing and willing to sell books to anyone, friendly and usually harmless. □ Sausage Hunter (AKA Head Hunter). This mainly nocturnal lass can be seen scouting out new happy hours and local bars. Well versed with the worlds mating rituals and habits this lass tracks down and secures her kills before closing time. Approach with caution. □ Rubber Band Man. This flexible fellow is in training to become a one man band, confirmed sightings are sporadic but rewarding, dependant on his fluid level. Friendly but don't mention the ashes!

By Steve J (with a "P")

KSG Users Comments...

A truly great beer mat substitute, J.S, UK. Invaluable in a country without toilet paper, A.M, SA. I couldn't read it but it stopped my table wobbling, W T Spain. Your guide is useless in Sihanoukville, M.H, USA. Pirates stole my copy! P.S, UK. My copy has killed at least 50 mosquitoes, L.F, France. Where can I buy a copy of the legendary issue 4? S N, Snook. It's too thin for roaching, F.T NL. Promise you will never translate this into French, B.M. Fra. You never warned me about wasps, can I sue? A.T. Aus. I extended my pleasure of your guide by soaking it in petrol so it burnt longer, T.W. Kep. I'm confused! F.G. Pot. When folded coffectly the rag makes a good weed pouch, J.B. USA.

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KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012

pancreas. Bananas, beans, sticky rice, ginger and other fruits are sliced and diced and placed in a marinade of sweetened condensed milk, coconut milk liquefied sugar and egg and served in a plastic cup with a spoon. Again, better than the description would indicate. Price: R1000. Where: on the old bridge road, down from the Canadia bank ATM and in front of the cake shop at the main traffic circle. Noodles: a half a liter of normal saline is added to generic dried packet noodles and then various goodies are added to the mix. Some of these goodies are recognizable. The plastic flavouring sachets are sometimes left in the bowl at serving, possibly to provide extra dietary roughage but more likely to demonstrate that you are eating a quality product. This is an excellent all­round nutritious and electrolyte replacement meal. Price: R2000 to R4000 for the chock full of wtf protein version. Where: everywhere. Look for the stack of packet noodles on stalls or rambling trolleys. Ice Cream: despite popular travel guide books warning to the contrary, Kampot expats do eat locally made ice cream from meandering

Spam Baguettes: half or full bread roll with two or three kinds of highly processed wtf ersatz meat (allegedly pork), shallot, cucumber and tomato with sweet or chili sauce. Price: R1500 to R2500. Where: all around Kampot (look for the stack of baguettes on an ambling trolley) but centralized around the main traffic circle and down old bridge road in the evenings. SB’s are also available in chicken and pork versions but while the meat is recognizable, they are more expensive and meat portions can be parsimonious. Fruit Drinks: identifiable and exotic fruits of your choice are placed in a blender and emulsified with sweetened condensed milk, coconut milk, sugar, Milo, ice and possibly an egg. Tastes a lot better than it sounds but insulin dependent diabetics should approach with caution. Price: R2000. Where: on the old bridge road and on the Kep road just past the Two Cows intersection and on a peripatetic trolley coming soon to you. Sweet Food: another workout for your http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com

Kampot Street Food Guide
Cheap Eats For About A Dollar.

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KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012 trolleys without subsequently going to the toilet a lot. There are at least four sellers in town but look for the man with the itinerant bicycle powered trolley along riverside. Price: R500 to R1000 Popcorn: The sweet variety familiar to Westerners and generally of high quality. Note however that un­popped corn is poorly sorted from popped and indiscriminately biting down on one of these kernels may cost you a dental filling. Look for gallivanting trolleys with bags of popcorn hanging from their sides. Where: often based near the post office on riverside in the evening but also around town. Price: R500 for the small and R1000 for the large bag. Duck Embryos: strictly for the culinary adventurous S.E. Asia traveler, or expats who have lost the plot entirely, an un­hatched duckling is boiled in its shell and eaten with a spoon. The duckling should be sufficiently formed so as to be el dente. Where: on the old bridge road and on the Kep road just past the Two Cows intersection. Price: R1500. Bar­B­Qued Squid: dried small squid are stacked and suspended from the sides of peregrinating trolleys where they resemble decks of cards with tentacles or something from a low budget SCI FI movie. Chock full of high tensile sea­foody flavour, your chosen squid are served for takeaway, lightly toasted over charcoal with a chili dipping sauce. An excellent spicy beef jerky is often sold from the same trolley. Where: often based on the riverside strip but also on touring trolleys around town. Price: R1000 to R2000 per serve. Steamed Sweet Corn: Look for the dark yellow variety as this is generally sweet whereas the white variants only function seems to be the alleviation of constipation by ingesting a mega hit of dietary fiber. Corn is steamed and served hot with a coating of

“butter” which is actually margarine, egg and sugar mix – much more palatable than the ingredients suggest. Bar­B­Qued white corn is also everywhere should your constipation prove resistant to the steamed version. Where: often based on the riverside strip but also drifting. Price: R1300 per cob but slight fluctuations according to seasonal availability. Grilled Beef: small portions of sliced, seasoned beef on a bamboo skewer cooked over charcoal and served with shredded sweet and sour green papaya with a dipping jus. Where: make­shift stall near the FM building at

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KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012 the 2000 Roundabout and promenading all around Kampot. Price: R500 per stick. Bread: generally sold as baguettes in small, large and jumbo versions. An inexpensive and filling way to overcome your cravings for Western food and best bought in the mornings to guarantee freshness. Where: Look for the Man With No Shirt bakery about 50 meters down the road from Epic Arts or a further 50 meters along that road and round the corner to your left ­ also sold in the market. Price: R500 – R1000 – R1500 according to size. Sugarcane Juice: hand cranked or electrically powered mangles are used to extract the juice from stalks of sugarcane and half a lime which is then served over crushed ice ­ very refreshing. Iced black tea (Number 1 Brand) with lime juice and sugar is also excellent. Where: both inside and outside of the market or look for the stacks of sugarcane and often brightly painted mangles around town. Price: R1000 per glass. Coconuts: (Cocos nucifera) al fresco, nutritious refreshment in a portable and hygienic container. Where: everywhere around Kampot – look for the stack of green coconuts outside shops and stalls. Price: R1500 Roasted Peanuts: small, highly flavoured peanuts (Arachis hypogaea), roasted in the shell and often sold by Cham Muslim ladies who circumambulate around Kampot carrying large aluminum basins of the legume on their heads. A larger variant is sold boiled in salted water in the shell. Where: Circumambulating. Price: R1000 per serve. Cut Fruit Trolley: assorted peeled and sliced fruits behind glass on a traveling trolley. Where: often based on the riverside strip but also migratory. Price: R500 ­ R1000 per serve. A general note: the prices quoted are the local known base line prices at the time of writing (September 2011) and should be taken as a guide for what you should expect to pay.

Never Smile at a Crocodile
Alan goes in search of the Pot's rarest lunch.

With increasingly frequent reports of crocodile sightings in and around Kampot burning his ears, X Ace Reporter Head Teaser roused himself from a mid­afternoon By Irvin S. KSG ACE Reporter. snack of raw eels and offal to investigate. In his guise of Fat Bastard he waddled on down to the riverside where, like a wet bag of river sludge, he plopped down at a local watering hole, ordered a mug of vaguely cold beer and waited to see what might be lurking in the fetid waters. After several hours the murky river was no less fetid than the tepid beer in front of him. He Got feedback for us? post it here. www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/ passed the time and a lot of gas debating the http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com

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KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012 relative merits of Anchor, Angkor and Cambodian drafts with happy­hour chasing pot­pats and slack jawed backpackers. All were wondering where the action was. The majority opinion was that if in fact there ever was any, the action had packed up and moved elsewhere, possibly to the Bokor hill casino. Ever watchful, even in a stupor, the X ACE Investigative reporter thought he spied a croc sashaying along the front. As usual, he was only half right. Closer investigation revealed that what he saw was not a vicious sea crocodile trolling the front that had sent the backpackers screaming away. What his bleary, half lidded eyes had spied was a passing Khmer woman out to watch the darling races in her stylish ensemble of fashionable floral pyjamas and a pair of over­sized neon green crocs adorning her freshly pedicured feet. Obviously no reptologist, Head Teaser decided to engage the services of someone more qualified to fathom the depths of the river. The very next day at the crack of noon he staggered down to the aquatic centre where he knocked on the door of a pre­eminent river pirate of sketchy reputation. The odour emanating from the crusty seaman sent Head Teaser’s head reeling. After paying a 2,000 Reil fine for fishing out of season he introduced himself to the foul fisherman who sported a rakish reptilian grin and had a reputation for knowing the river like the back of a jealous lady­boy’s hand. “I used to think all these crocodile sightings were a crock of shite,” wheezed the ancient mariner. “Ay matey there’s more shite in the river than there are crocs, but nothin’ penicillin won’t cure. Can’t say there are, but can’t say there ain’t none neither. Seen one in the summer of ’69 up at the Teuk Chhou zoo I did.

She was a big bugger too. Took me leg she did.” At that point the old pirate twisted the wooden peg below his left knee, removed it and poured two perfectly made margaritas from the hidden cavity and to Head Teaser’s dismay downed both in a single greedy swallow. “Locals all say they ate the last croc ten years ago. It was a big three meter male they gutted for the partly digested goat in its innards. It’s said they barbequed both the buggers and enjoyed surf and turf for a week until the beer ran out.“ The ancient mariner paused for effect and let

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KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012

out a sulphurous belch before continuing, “I seen things I have. Some of ‘em would curdle your cockles. Curdled mine they did. Not a pretty sight according to the missus. But to answer yer question, maybe the sea croc has returned. Then again could be tree trunks.” When asked if he had in fact seen a crocodile in the past year, the old seaman spat and wheezed, “Why do you think I haven’t been on the river since last rainy season? There are some giants out there. If ya ain’t afraid ya should be matey.” When asked if he was prepared to take Head Teaser out on the river to hunt out one of these mythical handbags with teeth, the ancient mariner declined by attacking the investigative reporter with his peg leg and a marlin spike. “Only one daft enough to try is that Belgian bloke up river. Just pay me the 1,000 Reil you promised and git.” Feigning a fishing expedition into his threadbare wallet, Head Teaser bolted out the door and into the suffocating heat before the old seaman could reattach his peg leg cum margarita dispenser to chase him. A waiting moto­dop whisked him away and to one of the remaining watering holes that hadn’t banned him yet. In the murky darkness that he spied someone who might help his quest. “Are you the Belgian?” “One of them…maybe…who wants to know?” the burly man asked in a threatening tone. “I’m an undercover investigative reporter for the KSG. Surely you’ve heard of it?” “Don’t know, don’t care, don’t read. Now piss off.” The threatening tone did not deter Head Teaser. “I or rather my masters will pay you for your services.” He knew that was a lie as the publisher was a notorious skinflint who would sooner cut off his left and only remaining http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com

testicle than pay any of his minions for the fruits of their rum soaked labours. “Barman, what’s my tab running?” The boatman enquired with a snarl. “Last time you ran out of here a hundred twenty­six dollars and change Bub.” “Pay the man you fat bastard and I’ll do it,” belched the Belgian. With a deadline looming and a nasty publisher demanding a gory article on killer crocs Head Teaser knew he had no choice. It was pay or be flayed in the publishing game. So, with the last of his counterfeit bills he paid off the sceptical

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KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012 but inebriated barman and exited the bar with the very large Belgian. On the way to the boat dock they stumbled over what appeared to be a dozen or so portmanteaus, carryalls, and ladies purses with artistically applied slitted yellow eyes and reptilian grins. The Belgian kicked at one or two of them and snarled something in Flemish. Because of his years spent in hiding in the Congo Head Teaser had more than a passing acquaintance with the language and was able to catch a few words. It sounded like the big Belgian said something like, “Get back in the river you poor excuses for luggage. We have work to do.” Astonished, Head Teaser watched as the ‘luggage’ spouted legs and scurried off ahead of them, jumped into the river and transformed themselves into logs. He was beginning to have an uneasy feeling about this assignment. It could have been the offal from the day before,

or it might have been because, against the laws of hydrodynamics, the logs were moving upstream, keeping abreast of the small craft the Belgian had thrown him into. “All the local crocs are history,” slurred the ferryman. “The new crocs on the block are Australian sea crocs. Much bigger and far more dangerous after a schooner of Fosters. But chill man, you are safe with me.” Search and rescue efforts to locate the remains of Fat Bastard have been called off for lack of interest and fear of crocodiles. The Belgian claims the Ace reporter jumped from his boat and was last seen attempting to pry open what he thought was an alligator bag containing the lost memoirs of Amelia Earhart.

By Alan HT KSG ACE Reporter and Fat Bastard.

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KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012

Dear KSG, I would like to take this opportunity to inform http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com

you that I am suing you for $2,000,000 (two million) dollars. I used your “map” of Kampot Answering your questions and I got lost. Do not think that labeling it ‘Not about living in Kampot. A Map’ will save you in court as you have subsequently stated …’but it should get you Hate Mail there’. It didn’t and I have suffered egregious Every month, the KSG receives an average of emotional trauma as a consequence and my 2000 items of hate mail, more than half of faith in the integrity of the print media is in which are delivered wrapped around a brick tatters due to your journalistic malfeasance! I and thrown through a glass window of the have read many outstanding travel guides. humpy that doubles as drug and alcohol den Yours was not one of them. See you in court and the KSG head office. To date, it has been dogbreath. KSG policy to ignore this as the editor’s Dear putrescent, personality disordered puss grandiose plan was the construction of a bags, Xanadu or ziggurat of Mesopotamian Epic fail KSG dudes. Your “magazine” is like, proportions with the accumulated bricks – such amazing crap man and naming it a “Survival was his hubris. Hate mail was viewed – even Guide” is so “laughable” that I want to puke. provoked by being deliberately offensive– as Download a life you complete bunch of all in all, just another brick in the wall. drunken born loosers. I don’t even really know Inexorably, the KSG became a journalistic where to start telling you what is wrong with abattoir for sacred cows. Perched on his your pathetic magazine and I haven’t even read mountain of bricks and looking like Marlon it yet. I only arrived in Kampot last night and I Brando in drag, the editor would exhort his know more about it and Cambodian history reporters (over the incessant background sound than you guys and have started writing fifteen of splintering glass) to find new targets to books about it already. Read more on my blog enrage under threat of cruel and inhuman or I’ll Twitter your ass. Find me on Facebook. punishments. These included the withholding of the Pastis ration and being forced to listen to the music of The Carpenters. The slightest whimper or sign of PC dissent in the ranks and the editor would start humming the opening bars of We've Only Just Begun. But just when the hour was darkest, when there were no more noble causes to belittle, no more NGO’s to deride, no more minority groups to demean and the bottom of our Marianas Trench of gutter journalism was in clear sight, the editor had a fleeting alcohol­free epiphany. Some people say he had found God and others, that he had become God and still others that God had engaged him as a consultant. However what we journalists heard him proclaim from atop his Ararat of bricks was “Jesus Christ. It’s costing me one hundred times more to replace the broken windows than the bricks are worth!” And just like that, it was over. The new policy was simple: Print the Hate Mail – Stop the Bricks. Over the coming issues, Lucky will print all 672,523 items of Hate Mail that the KSG has received to date. Here are the first five: 23 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/

Ask Lucky

KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012 Dear criminally insane dystopian crack babies, Is English your native tongue or is your entire staff comprised of monkeys with typewriters propping up the bar between puffs on a joint? I have been employed in the newspaper industry for more than 800 years and I have to say the KSG is the shittiest example of monochrome printed aspirant mediocrity I have ever had the gross misfortune to stumble across. I sneer at your layout and, at, your, use, of, commas – either too many or too few and then applied with all the precision of confetti scattered at a lunatics wedding on a wet day. Jesus Wept! Spelling errors strut through your guide like naked imbeciles with helium balloons attached to their flaccid penises. I felt an increasing sense of nausea with the turning of each polluted page. I was a firm believer in freedom of speech and of the press (except for anything written by J.K. Rowling which of course should be banned) until I attempted to read your magazine. You wouldn’t know good journalism if it came up and bit you on the bottom line and if you have even a shred of human decency and care at all about Kampot; you will cease and desist from printing this

suppurating sebaceous cyst of a magazine. Dear crapulous mouth breathing reactionary Neanderthals, As a Kep resident, I have to ask, do you have a conscience or are you content to shamble knee deep through the putrid sewer of your value systems never raising your jaundiced eyes above the frosty can of Anchor beer clutched in your simian paws? Don’t you know your incessant Kep bashing causes untold mental pain and anguish to the nice folks who live there? Have you become complete strangers to niceness you illegitimate, brain damaged, crypto fascist Smurfs? Also, nobody is fooled when you write supposedly “informative” travel advice like ‘Kep has the crabs’ – they know you are smirking up your greasy, schoolboy sleeve because you don’t mean delicious, edible crustaceans do you. Rot in hell KSG bastards! My next letter through your window won’t be wrapped around a brick – it’ll be wrapped around Stonehenge! By the way, have you ever considered using the Disco Inferno sans serif font in your magazine? Dear morally bankrupt passive­aggressive troglodytes, This magazine should not be casually discarded after reading it. It should be hurled away with great force before reading it! Your magazine does measureless harm, perhaps more harm than any other piece of printed material in the complete history of the universe (with the possible exception of the collected works of J.K. Rowling) and I say this as a mother of nine children! It’s not just that the magazine is despicable and evil (although it is both of these things) it is also an abominable amoral atrocity! Your ethics committee is not asleep at the wheel it is positively catatonic! You post colonial trailer trash detritus are destroying Kampot and its gentle ambiance and you can only get away with your bowel movement of a magazine because you currently have a print monopoly in Kampot! I have sent an SMS to Rupert Morlock suggesting he relocate his News of the World operations to Kampot! Then it will be game on KSG creeps! I am not a book burner by nature – and I abhor exclamation marks ­ but I have made it my sole mission in life to burn every copy of the KSG I can find and if I discover where you live, I will burn you on top of them!! 24 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/

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By Irvin S KSG ACE Reporter.

KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012

officers and loved by the lower deck; his fighting exploits the fodder of wardrooms as were the stories of his other conquests. Fran delves sideways into to the His capacity for language did not go unnoticed murky history of the Pot. and Fleet Command sent him to Cathay to discreetly examine the expansion of French Confucius Li Wong is our local historian; interests. In the multicultural society of Hong Kampot born Khmer/Chinese his family Kong he flourished, worked hard, played hard tentacles also extend into Burma, Japan and and listened intently. In few months he Hong Kong. There is other there too but that is conquered not only the mindset of the oriental strictly off limits and over the years we had female but also Cantonese both written and forged an unlikely alliance. spoken. He spent countless hours with the About a year ago Confucius and I were having captains of the trading junks and collected or a quiet drink when I asked him if he had any copied every chart they possessed. proof of the improbable legend of such a being It was here he was to make the lifetime as a French Gentleman. Confucius, his green friendship of Shetland Lu McVie. Son of one eyes screwed in deep thought, absently stroked the minor Taipans his mother, Mai Lu, the his long silver beard as he debated his answer. daughter of a Shan warlord. It was here also After a long silence he quietly stated that it that the pair of them conspired a plan of wasn't a fable. awesome entreprenurial proportions and it all The man he said was called Captain Pierre de revolved around a town called Kampot in an la Granville the first Fenchman to come to unknown land. Kampot predating the Colonialists by many Pierre returned to France where he made an years and that the key to this rewrite of acclaimed presention to the French Geographic conventional history was salt, indeed, Kampot Society. He also made a totally unacclaimed salt. He continued to enlarge stating that presentation to the French Admiralty which can Kampot had always been quietly prosperous only be judged by their acceptance of his with the Hong Kong Chinese trading here for service resignation and his purchase of the centuries bringing medicine and fabrics in and sound frigate, at scrap prices, which had been taking out salt, animal parts, shark's fin and his last command. He did not tarry long in more than the occassional Khmer girl. Paris, just time enough to collect crew and to Our gentleman was born in Paris in the second make his formal au revoirs to the many offices half of the 18th. Century the only offspring of a of Fleet Command. A famous captain his wealthy banker and a minor Portugese royal requests for detailed specifications for his ship mother. A child prodigy who by the age of 11 and its armaments were met with alacrity. had exhausted his tutors and at 14 achieved a They sailed for Lisboa where the ship was Tripos from the Sorbonne in Languges, stripped to a shell; even the pig iron ballast Astronomy and Science. He was commissioned taken out to be replaced by eight pumpable into the French Navy where his talents shone. 1500 gallon bilge tanks. The cannon were Brilliant and fearless by his twentieth year was removed and the gunports became small strong the youngest captain in the fleet revered by his glass windows below a raised top deck. The http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com 25 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/

POTTED HISTORY

KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012

result of this was an unarmed vessel faster and lighter than anything afloat. She flew Portugese colours and was renamed Puta Do Mar and when she sailed her holds were crammed with weaponry and the ballast tanks brimming with fresh water, red wine and brandy. It was a fast passage and three months later, navigating by Chinese charts, Capt. Pierre made his way up the Kampot estuary and dropped anchor in the river roads adjacent to a shoreside spring. Around this he built a substantial three sided thatched structure which became a base to be used for many decades. The navigational coordinates entered in the log clearly indicate the site was, what is now, the Bokor Lodge. Pierre stayed in Kampot for six months. Many great Khmer war canoes came and he traded his cargo for rubies, emeralds and gold and there also came an oceangoing Chinese junk captained by Shetland McVie; it was a long and boisterous reunion. Shetland brought two gifts for Pierre. One was a holdful of raw opium and the other the young married couple Molly Mai Li McVie and Charles Wong, respectively his elder daughter and the eurasian son of his Compradore. In exchange Pierre presented Shetland with two chests of blueprints. So it was in Kampot a dynasty was created that exists today. In celebration a huge feast followed lubricated by the depleted tanks of the Puta Do Mar. It was at this banquet that Pierre raised a large pole on which were affixed the Tricoleur, a large marked Chinese chart and the Letters of Marque supplied by the French Admiralty. In a wine fuelled speech the lands which are now Cambodia, Vietnam and Laos were declared as French Protectorates. The rest, as they say, is history. Our captain returned to France a hero http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com

along with ten of Kampot's most beautiful maidens and a ship ballasted by 50 tons of duty free mashed opium suspended in Kampot brine. A grateful nation bequeathed him an estate in the Parisian sub­district of Monmatre where with his ten ladies he was to live the rest of his days. Rich beyond belief he entrusted his finances to Molly Li who founded a bank called Union Kam whilst Charles ran the estate and his various businesses. Across the other side of the world Shetland McVie, in exchange for the the contents of the two chests, secured the sole trading rights to the secretive lands of the Japans. In the years that followed his became the most dominant of the Hong Kong houses. There is of course much, very much, more to this story than these few lines permit. Pierre and Shetland were to live long and full lives; Shetland was buried at sea whilst the ashes of Pierre and successively his ladies were interred in a small pagoda styled mausoleum in a local graveyard. His Last Will and Testament was a simple statement of integrity passing everything to Molly and Charles but ensuring the financial wellbeing of his ten devoted and loved Khmer girls and their extended families. To sceptics of this small slice of Kampot history please consider how Chamol Pharmaceuticals became the huge multinational corporation that it is today. Failing that go on­ line and view the published accounts of the biggest and most secretive private merchant bank in the world. The Union Kam balance sheet lists only three fixed assets. These are their offices in Paris, the offices in Hong Kong and the Municipal Cemetery of Monmatre.

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By Uncle Fran. KSG ACE Reporter and Official Distorian.

KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012

Knowing a few phrases in Khmer always earns smiles and nods of approval from locals as well as crusty expatriates who are fluent in the Cambodian language. Unlike Thai or Vietnamese, Khmer is not a tonal language and is therefore not difficult to master. As a basic guide, Khmer has 87 vowels – 43 of which are pronounced as the letter a (a=apple) and 39 pronounced as the letter e (e=egg). The remaining 5 vowels have no equivalent sound in any of the Indo­European languages and are either silent, useless or can be safely ignored. There are only 2 consonants, the letter p (p=pastrami) and the letter z which can be pronounced as either zed (female) or zee (male) according to the gender of the person speaking or being spoken to. Grammatical structure is simplicity itself with sentences following the format verb­verb­verb­adverb­ verb (e.g. go, go, go quickly go) ­ except where the past tense is indicated. In this case the structure is reversed or the consonant zed is added to the end of the sentence where the speaker is female or transsexual or at least committed to a sex change operation. The future tense is universally indicated by the inclusion (and therefore the absence) of a silent vowel at the beginning of the sentence. Correct pronunciation of the 82 audible a and e vowel sounds can present a challenge as while there are no tonal inflections, subtle changes in meaning are conveyed by the volume with which the letter is said, the age and status of the person speaking, the ambient temperature and the proximity to a Buddhist festival.. Generally, the safest practice for a novice is to say all a and e sounds as loudly as possible, bow or genuflect repeatedly while speaking and trust that meaning is construed contextually. We at the KSG have put together some of the more commonly used English phrases with a Latinized phonetic Khmer (and therefore more vowels and consonants) translation to help get you started. Khmer: Nis thlay Australie cab plonk Heathcliffe awt tay nu­ance English: This Australian Cabernet­Sauvignon wine is dark and brooding but lacks subtlety. http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com

An introduction to the language.

Learn some useful Khmer

Khmer: Anglais yeay gullible yeay K’mai same­same English: The English word “gullible” is the only word spelled and pronounced the same in the Khmer language.

Khmer: Khnum DaewooTico cheeh awt tay Liberace bling bling English: My Daewoo Tico lacks performance, style and street creditability.

Khmer: Khnum jang baan Hummer tom prahok sa art arnie term in ator English: I want a Hum Vee vehicle so I can be a big cheese like the lovely Arnold Schwarzenegger Khmer: Nis thlay trad k’mai nuptial Milli Vanilli tom­tom bose ear Ow! Ow! Angkor English: This is a traditional Khmer wedding using fake 200,000W Bose speakers that have been in my family since Angkorian times Khmer: Nis thlay trad krama ot sa’art same­ same Ernest Borgnine. Puoomann Christian d’Or? English: This is bad krama. Wearing it makes me look like the actor Ernest Borgnine. How much for one made by Christian d’Or? Khmer: Srey? Lady Gaga katoey massa anxiety khnum c dos run English: The artist Lady Gaga is of questionable gender and I must respectfully decline a massage from him/her

Khmer: Loi klie same­same Imelda Marcos. Loi tic­tic khnum WMD pa’sar Imelda Marcos humpy. English: These shoes are too expensive. Give me a discount or I will unleash Weapons of Mass Destruction on your shoe stall.

By Irvin S. KSG ACE Reporter.

Found something not listed, tell us here. 27 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/

KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012

Things you didn't know about Kampot.
1. Kampot led the Cambodian space race during the 1950's and 60's as Bokor Hill was used for test launchings of their experimental “Woo­ung Gao Soo Gom­lung” rockets. 2. Kampot changed its name shortly after Kep was named, it was re­named specifically to avoid any confusion with Kep, the name is derived from two words “Kamp” and “Not”. 3. Bokor Hill used to be a proper mountain with a pointy top, but the French stole it. 4. In 1967 Kampot FC toured Europe on an extensive and unbeaten tour. 5. Kampot was originally built around a system of canals akin to Venice, sadly due to neglect these waterways have silted and dried, only to be seen during exceptionally heavy rains. 6. Bokor Hill is still an active volcano, difficult to see during the wet season but all throught the dry times you will see smoke rising from all round the hill. 7. Kampot City is larger than the City of London, in both size and population.

There are many ways you can spend your time doing good in Kampot, listed below are a few NGO's and projects that could do with your help, either by donating or volunteering.

Projects & Voluntary Work...

Epic Arts Café. The place to be if you have a sweet tooth or have a liking for good coffee, run by and for the disabled, it helps! So get down there. They also have a new performance centre and workshops near the friendship monument, (the one with the guns) check the cafe for further details. Kampot Traditional Music School. Pop in and check them out, Khmer music and dance is not all karaoke based and some is really good, so is the dance so check them up and book yourself a performance. Sisters II / Heritage Orphanage. Cafe fare and internet in one building, breakfasts, cakes and sandwiches to feast on whilst doing your email. The cafe funds a small orphanage near to the Olympic stadium, so drop by and help support the kids. Kep Gardens Association is a non­profit, independent project established by Australians to provide education and training in English, hospitality, mechanical and civil engineering, computing and farming skills as well as sponsor ongoing higher education through our Educational Scholarship Fund for the Khmer people of Kep. Australians and Cambodians working together. Prek Thnout Community. Save Cambodia's Wildlife started this project back in 2007, it is now running nicely and offers village homestay visits and day trips. Also trekking to local falls, rattan furniture production and boat trips to see dolphins. It's 30km towards Snook but it's best to check with SCW first on 088 902 2099. Chumkriel Language School (CLS) is a Cambodian operation striving to provide accessible education and assistance to the local community. CLS requests a minimum placement of one week and requires all volunteers to be aged 18 years and over. clskampot@gmail.com If you know of any other NGO's or projects that deserve a mention, please do let us know, we really want to expand this section.

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KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012 We at the KSG apologise for our lack of detailed travel info, there is a reason for this, it's because this is a guide for Kampot, it's purpose is to give you ideas to stay, so we're buggered if we're going to help you get away!

Transport...

Some Useful Numbers...

Tuk Tuk. The first choice of transport these days, most of Kampot and the surrounding area can be accessed by Tuk Tuk in all weathers, popular trips are down to Kep, mangroves, pepper plantation and caves, or up to the rapids, zoo and beach. Moto. These guys can make your stay good, using their translation skills you will explore more. Find them all around town but the best speaking ones hang between the traffic circle and the bus stop. Moto Rental. Either your guesthouse can sort it out or you can pop on down to the shops and pick your own, make sure you are happy with it and check it has lights if you plan to ride at night. Wherever you go be careful, especially of the cows. Bicycle Rental. Some guesthouses offer rental of bikes, mainly basic bone shakers so don't get too excited, although some tour companies have mountain bike rental too, so use the shitty bike to find a nice one. Bus/Taxi. The easiest way to sort this is through your guesthouse, they earn a small amount of commission for this that covers their telephone costs etc, if you are a really tight git you could go down the bus stop and haggle. Night Busses. We do not reccommend them, you won't get the sleep you think you will and therefore will miss a day you could have enjoyed, they are also quite dangerous.

ABC. Bar Red GH. Bart the Boatman. Blissful GH. Bluestar Real Estate. Bodhi Villa GH. Bokor Mt Lodge. Borey Bokor I GH. Bungalow Kampot River. Cafe Expresso. Diamond Hotel Epic Arts Cafe. Farm Link. Ganesha GH. Green House. Indochine. Kampot GH. Kampot Pie & Ice Cream Palace. Kampot Riverside Hotel. Kampot River View GH. Kampot Survival Guide. Kep Gardens Ass. Kepler's Books. Lee & Pop's. Little Garden Bar GH. Long Villa GH. Magic Sponge. Mea Culpa GH. Oh Neil's. Olly's Place. Orchid GH. Paris GH. Pepper GH. Pizza 36. Rikitikitavi GH. Salt + Pepper. Say Sabok. Srey Mom Cafe. Ta. Eng GH. Tiny Kampot Pillows. Tuk tuk, Chak kan. Utopia GH. Villa Vidici GH.

0972560585 077997096 092174280 012848390 012611317 012728884 033932314 092978168 011523627 092388736 0336300800 092922069 0333902354 092724612 0888863071 092762933 012512931 099657826 012351764 012821570 092724720 015653317 012306410 016592735 012427572 092251418 017946428 012504769 015207790 092605837 092226996 033932330 017822626 0972204169 012235102 099219004 012927897 012987457 012330058 0977666094 012456935 0977560164 089290714

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KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012

ABC. French run bar in the place of the old Honey bar. Aiming for the musically minded with events and jam nights every Saturday, offering unique cocktails, French style snacks till 9pm and standard bar wares, closed Wednesday. Bar­Red. Under new management, English run late night bar and guest rooms just off the front. Cambodia draught beer at all day happy hour prices + all usual bar wares, late night sports TV, free WIFI. Rooms have fan, TV, en­suite, English and Khmer spoken. Blissful Guest House. French/Brit run bar restaurant and guest house in the heart of town, nice gardens and chill areas, draught beer and wide selection of food, some cooked in a wood fired oven. Rooms $5 – 10, dorm $2, fan, en suite, garden, WIFI, English and Khmer spoken. Bodhi Villa. Aus run bar restaurant and guest house on the west bank, riverside seating, pontoon, pool table, chill out atmosphere with late night opening. Rooms, bungalows and floating rooms $4 – 8, fan, river view, water sports, English and Khmer spoken. Bokor Mountain Lodge. Kiwi run bar restaurant and hotel on the front, classical colonial architecture with a large river frontage, great sunset views, international menu and well stocked bar. Rooms $35 ­ 45+, AC, HW, fan, TV, en suite, river view, WIFI, English & Khmer spoken. Bungalow Kampot River. New Khmer run bar restaurant and guest house on the west bank of the river, riverside bungalows $6, fan, river view, WIFI, English and Khmer spoken. Cafe Espresso. Australian style breakfast cafe. Specialty coffee, roasted on site, ground fresh, baked goods, home made condiments, good vegetarian options & daily lunch specials. Just around the corner from epic arts cafe. open 8am till late afternoon free wifi. Cozy Elephant Guest House. French/Khmer run guest house near the taxi stand. Rooms $4 ­ 12, dorm $2.50, AC, HW, fan, en suite, WIFI, free bicycle rental, English, French and Khmer spoken. Diamond Hotel. Bar, Restaurant and hotel just off the new bridge road, rooms $20­40, TV, AC, HW, en suite, English and Khmer spoken. Epic Arts Cafe. Open from 7am till 6pm offering breakfasts, lunches, coffee and cakes. Run by and for people with disabilities, they also have a performance arts centre, pop in to learn more. Ganesha Riverside Eco Resort. German/Khmer run bar, restaurant and accommodation on a lost loop of the river, boat trips and activities on site. Rooms $6 ­ 45, English, German and Khmer spoken. Green House. Donkey/Brit run bar, restaurant and guest house up the river. Riverside bungalows with great views of sun rise/set. Bungalows $10­20, fan etc, hammocks $3, English, Khmer and French spoken. Indochine. Newly Re­opened Brit run bar restaurant just off the front. Western and asian food, $1 beers, free WIFI, good music with a chill out room upstairs, Khmer and English spoken. Kampot Riverside Hotel. New Aus Khmer run hotel and cocktail lounge on the northern front. AC, HW, TV, WIFI, fridge, tea/coffee facilities, en suite. Rooms $20 ­ 45, due to open soon(ish). Hour Kheang Guest House. New Khmer run bar,

Bars, Restaurants and Rooms.

restaurant and guest house opposite the old market. Rooms $7 ­ 20, AC, HW, Fan, TV, WIFI, en suite, English, Chinese and Khmer spoken. Jam Tic. Set on the slopes of Phnom Ker wirh stunning views of Kep and Bokor, rooms $3, AC, HW, Spa, en suite, swimming pool, free moto & boat rental, bar & restaurant, English, French, Greek and Khmer spoken but not understood. Kampocchino. Brit run coffee lounge and bar. Coffee snacks and general bar fodder in a comfortable setting, draught Cambodia beer, sports on tv, English and Khmer spoken. Kampot Guest House. Rooms $5 – 20, AC, HW, TV, fan, en suite, garden, bike rental, bar & restaurant, WIFI, English and Khmer spoken. Kampot Pie and Ice Cream Palace GH. New Canadian/Khmer run restaurant and guest house just off the northern front. Offering all manner of sweet things and some hearty snacks. Rooms $6 ­ $25, AC, HW, TV, en suite, WIFI, English and Khmer spoken. Long Villa Guest House. Rooms $6 – 13, AC, HW, TV, fan, en suite, bar & restaurant with varied menu, WIFI, English and Khmer spoken. Little Garden Bar. Rooms $10 – 20, AC, HW, TV, fan, en suite, garden, bar & restaurant, WIFI, English and Khmer spoken. Madi's House. Khmer run bar restaurant on the front, pool table, cocktails and a full menu with excellent sunset views. hosting live music events with late opening. Magic Sponge. English/Khmer run bar, guest house with minigolf course and beer garden. DVD lounge,

Whats gone or moved.

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Akashi Cafe ­ Gone Alaska Super Club ­ Gone Blank Canvas ­ Became Olly's place Blue Dragon ­ Became Rusty Keyhole Blue Mountain ­ Became Rheaj's Burger Bonkors ­ Became Blue Ray and thats Gone Bokor M't Club ­ Became Marco Polo Bokor View Hotel ­ Gone Coco House ­ Became Rusty Keyhole 2 Comfortably Numb ­ Became Bar­Red Green man ­ Closed at present Honey Bar ­ Became ABC Ike Bar ­ Gone Jasmine ­ Became Frangipani Kampot Interact ­ Became K'Pot Souvenirs Kiri Guesthouse ­ Gone Le Niam Bay ­ Gone Le Soleil d'Or ­ Closing soon, so we were todl? Lucci Food ­ Gone Marco Polo ­ became Bokor M't Lodge Mearly Chender ­ Gone Moon's Guesthouse ­ Gone Piggies ­ Moved out of town and then back in Rheaj's Burger ­ Became Wunderbar Salt n Pepper ­ Wholesale only Southern Cross Motel ­ Gone Sundowner Tavern ­ Became Salt + Pepper Whats Hot in Kampot ­ Gone

KSG Issue 23 June ­ August 2012

Pool table, Table football, Board Games. Rooms $8 ­ $20, dorm $4, AC, WiFi, HW ensuite, fan, bike rental, English and Khmer spoken. Mea Culpa. Irish run bar restaurant and guest house behind the Governors residence, wood fired pizza oven and nice bar in a large secluded garden. Rooms $20 ­ 25, AC, HW, TV, DVD, WIFI, en suite, garden, bar & restaurant, parking, English and Khmer spoken. Natural Restaurant and Guest House. Khmer run bar restaurant and guest house on the river just north of the new bridge. Over the river eating and Khmer style stilted chalets. Rooms $15+, AC, HW, TV, Oh Neil's. Irish run late night bar next to Bokor Mt Lodge. Standard bar fare and tunes in a hole between the walls setting. Irish themed and manned with food available, English and Khmer spoken. Olly's Place. Belgian Bar, Restaurant and guesthouse on the river, rooms and bungalows $8­10, fan, nets etc. Wind surfing and lessons, paddle boards for rent. English, Dutch, French, Thai and Portuguese spoken Orchid Guest House. Rooms and bungalows $5 – 15, AC, HW, TV, fan, en suite, garden, bike rental, tours, boat trips, bar & restaurant, English & Khmer spoken. Paris Guest House. Khmer run guest house one road back from the front. Rooms $5 – 15, AC, HW, TV, fan, en suite, English and Khmer spoken. Pepper Guest House. Rooms $5 ­ 15, AC, HW, TV, fan, en­suite, soon to have a bar and restaurant, garden, parking, English, French and Khmer spoken. Pizza 36. Brit/Khmer run bar and restaurant just off the front. Fresh US style pizza and pasta delivered free from the Kampot Playboys, the Pot's favotite band. Rikitikitavi. British/Dutch run rooftop bar restaurant and guesthouse on the front, high end eating and a good selection cocktails and malt's. Rooms $30 – 35 inc breakfast, AC, HW, TV, DVD, en suite, bar & restaurant, English, Dutch and Khmer spoken. Rusty Keyhole. Brit/Khmer run bar restaurant on the front, sports tv, BBQ western and Khmer food, English and Khmer spoken. Say Sa Bok. French/Khmer run bar restaurant on the front, early happy hours, full Khmer and western menu and great Khmer coffee. Sisters II. Cafe fare and internet in one building, breakfasts, cakes and sandwiches. The cafe funds a small orphanage near to the Olympic stadium, so drop by and help support the Heritage Orphanage kids. Srey Mom Cafe. Khmer run cafe opposite the 2000 monument. Daytimes, Khmer food at local prices. Evenings, Srey Mom's famous Indian and western foods, curries, Pies, Pizzas, burgers and more. Open from 5am daily till 10pm, closed Sunday evening. Star Inn. New bar restaurant on the river offering seafood, Karaoke and hostess service. Tiny Kampot Pillows Shop. Hand made pillows, cushions, pillowcases and covers as individual gifts or in commercial quantities. Wide range of fabrics to choose from. Small orders usually completed within 24 hours. Also selling krama items, photos, postcards etc all made in Kampot. Shop at the 2000 Roundabout. Ta Eng Guest House. Rooms $4 – 8, fan, TV, en suite, bike rental, garden, restaurant, English, French and Khmer spoken.

Bars, Restaurants and Rooms.

Utopia. German/Khmer run bar restaurant and guest house up the river, just before Tek Chheu and the Zoo (8km ish), stunning views along river in a total get away from it all setting, great spot to stop on a river cruise or just an amazing getaway place. Rooms & Bungalows $6 – 25, fan, en suite, river view, swimming, English and Khmer spoken. Villa Vedici. Dutch run bar, restaurant and guest house 2km up the river. Bungalows $25, fan, TV, DVD, fridge, WIFI, swimming pool, boat trips, water sports, kite surfing, river view, en suite, garden, Dutch, English and Khmer spoken. NOTE. Listings were correct once, they are not contractually binding so do not rely on them. Facilities listed do not apply to all rooms, i.e. you won't find an AC room for $4. All places should be able to book tickets and tours and offer some travel advice.

Creation...

Kampot Survival Guide

This guide was written by real Kampot residents, people who live in and love Kampot. It was created using Linux Mint Debian, ScribusNG, Openoffice, Inkscape and The Gimp. All these applications are Open Source and are freely available on the internet.

The Team...

Steve J ­ Director, layout, basic guide, maps n sales. Irvin S ­ Director, wordsmith, food guide, agony aunt. Alan HT ­ Under­cover X Ace Reporter, non factual consultant, poster model and present Pot­pat at last. Uncle Fran ­ Financial Probability Consultant, Official Distorian, Pig farmer and Ace Reporter.

Obtaining Copies...

New Issues are released every three months, copies are delivered to advertising businesses in Kampot, they are also sent to PP, Snook and Kep. All of the past issues are available for download on our blog site in pdf, epub, and mobi formats.

Advertising...

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Contact Steve on 092724720 or the email address below. The next issue due is in September and the deadline 20th August. Advert sizes are, banner 138mm W 48mm H, quarter 69mm W 97mm H, half 138mm W 97mm H, artwork should be submitted in either .jpg .eps .png .pdf or .tiff and be of the highest possible quality. Sorry we cannot accept .doc or .docx files, ever!!!

Thanks to...

Many thanks go out to the sponsors and submitters who make this rag possible, not forgeting my many editors who make it possible for me to be understood.

Contact us...

Submissions, corrections, classifieds, advertising requests and threats should be directed to the publisher, if you can find him or emailed to...

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Or you could be gay about it and post on the Lonely Planet forums (thorntree), like oldted did.

kampotsurvivalguide@gmail.com

This is not a map, it's not even close to being a map, but it should get you there.