l:G\Ak llkG\A: ll· AuI·ll·GkAllY

Ill \AGl· lA:Ilk:

l:gua: lc:gua: is co:sicc:cc |, ua:, to |c t|c wo:lc`s g:catcst livi:g iilu ci:ccto: a:c is also
i:tc::atio:all, wcll |:ow: as a t|cat:c, tclcvisio: a:c o¡c:a ci:ccto:. lc was |o:: i: 1-1· i:
u¡¡sala, ·wccc:, a:c stucicc at ·toc||olu u:ivc:sit,. l:ou 1-+! to 1-+o |c was a ¡:ocucc: a:c
sc:i¡tw:itc: io: ·vc:s| lilui:cust:i a:c, latc:, A:tistic Acvisc:. lc |as ci:cctcc at t|cat:cs
t|:oug|out ·wccc: as wcll as a|:oac a:c was lcac oi t|c ko,al D:auatic I|cat:c i: ·toc||olu
i:ou 1-o! to 1-oo. lis ua:, iilus i:clucc 1|e :e·e-·| :eo!, :¬.!e· .¡ o :o¬¬e. :.¸|·, te.·.-o, 1|e
¡..¸.- :¡..-¸, 1|..o¸| o c!o·· Ðo.|!,, c..e· o-1 P|.·¡e.·, :.e-e· ¡..¬ o Mo...o¸e, to.e ·. to.e, +o·o¬-
:.-o·o, 1|e :e.¡e-·· i¸¸, t..¬ ·|e t.¡e .¡ ·|e Mo...-e··e· a:c to--, o-1 +!e·o-1e., wi::c: oi iou:
Acaccu, Awa:cs. l:gua: lc:gua: |as :cccivcc ua:, i:tc::atio:al awa:cs a:c ¡:izcs io: |is iilus,
i:cluci:g t|c Goct|c l:izc i: 1-¯o a:c t|c ·wccis| Golc \ccal i: 1-¯¯.

l
W|c: l was |o:: i: 1-1·, u, uot|c: |ac ·¡a:is| i:iluc:za. l was i: a |ac wa, a:c was
|a¡tizcc as a ¡:ccautio: at t|c |os¡ital. ·:c ca, t|c iauil, was visitcc |, t|c olc |ousc cocto:,
w|o loo|cc at uc a:c saic. lc`s c,i:g oi u:cc: :ou:is|uc:t.` \, uatc::al g:a:cuot|c: too| uc
wit| |c: to |c: suuuc: |ousc i: Dala::a, a:c o: t|c t:ai: |ou::c,, w|ic| i: t|osc ca,s too| a
w|olc ca,, s|c icc uc wit| s¡o:gc ca|c soa|cc i: watc:. l, t|c tiuc wc ii:all, a::ivcc, l was
¡:acticall, ccac, |ut G:a:cuot|c: ua:agcc to ii:c a wct :u:sc a |i:cl,, iai:|ai:cc gi:l i:ou a
:cig||ou:i:g villagc. l got |cttc:, |ut was alwa,s vouiti:g a:c |ac co:sta:t stouac|ac|cs.
l suiic:cc i:ou scvc:al i:ccii:a|lc ill:csscs a:c coulc :cvc: :call, cccicc w|ct|c: l wa:tcc to
livc at all. Dcc¡ cow: i: u, co:scious:css, l ca: :ccall u, actual co:citio:, t|c stc:c| oi u,
|oc,`s scc:ctio:s, t|c cau¡ c|aii:g clot|cs, t|c soit glow oi t|c :ig|tlig|t, t|c coo: i:to t|c :cxt
:oou |ust a|a:, t|c :u:scuaic`s ccc¡ |:cat|i:g, ¡attc:i:g stc¡s, w|is¡c:i:g voiccs, :cilcctio:s oi
t|c su: i: t|c ca:aic oi watc:. l ca: :ccall it all, |ut l co :ot :cucu|c: a:, ica:. I|at cauc latc:.
\, iauil, livcc o: t|c ii:st iloo: i: a: a¡a:tuc:t |ousc o: t|c co::c: oi ·|c¡¡a:gata: a:c
·to:gata: i: ·toc||olu. I|c ci:i:g :oou iaccc o: to a ca:| |ac| cou:t,a:c wit| a |ig| |:ic| wall,
t|c outcoo: ¡:iv,, cust|i:s, iat :ats a:c a ca:¡ct|cati:g sta:c. l au sitti:g o: souco:c`s |:cc
|ci:g icc wit| g:ucl. I|c ¡latc is o: g:c, oilclot| wit| a :cc |o:cc:, t|c c:aucl w|itc, wit| |luc
ilowc:s o: it, a:c :cilccti:g t|c s¡a:sc lig|t i:ou t|c wi:cow. l, |c:ci:g u, |cac siccwa,s a:c
io:wa:cs, l t:, out va:ious vicw¡oi:ts. As l uovc u, |cac, t|c :cilcctio:s i: t|c g:ucl ¡latc c|a:gc
a:c io:u :cw ¡attc::s. ·uccc:l,, l vouit ovc: cvc:,t|i:g.
I|at is ¡:o|a|l, u, vc:, ii:st ucuo:,.
l: t|c autuu: oi 1-!0, wc uovcc to Villagata: !! i: t|c ·stc:ualu cist:ict oi ·toc||olu. lt
suclt oi :cw ¡ai:t a:c ¡olis|cc ¡a:quct iloo:i:g. I|c :u:sc:, |ac su:,cllow li:olcuu o: t|c
iloo: a:c lig|tcolou:cc |li:cs wit| castlcs a:c ucacow ilowc:s o: t|cu. \ot|c:`s |a:cs wc:c,
soit a:c s|c uacc tiuc ªto tcll uc sto:ics. lat|c: stc¡¡cc o: t|c c|au|c: ¡ot o:c uo::i:g w|c:
|c got out oi |cc a:c swo:c loucl,. Iwo cou:t:, gi:ls i:ou Dala::a i:|a|itcc t|c |itc|c:, a:c t|c,
sa:g oitc: a:c s¡o:ta:cousl,. A ¡la,uatc oi u, ow: agc livcc o: t|c ot|c: sicc oi t|c la:ci:g. ·|c
was callcc Ii¡¡a: a:c was iuagi:ativc a:c c:tc:¡:isi:g. Wc cou¡a:cc ou: |ocics a:c iou:c
i:tc:csti:g ciiic:c:ccs. ·ouco:c caug|t us at it |ut saic :ot|i:g.
W|c: l was iou:, u, sistc: was |o:: a:c t|c situatio: c|a:gcc :acicall,. A iat uo:st:ous
c:catu:c |ac succc:l, acqui:cc t|c uai: :olc. l was |a:is|cc i:ou u, uot|c:`s |cc a:c u, iat|c:
|caucc ovc: t|is |awli:g |u:clc. I|c ccuo: oi |calous, iastc:cc its claws i:to u, |ca:t. l :agcc,
wc¡t, c:a¡¡cc o: t|c iloo: a:c ucsscc u,scli. \, clcc: |:ot|c: a:c l, usuall, uo:tal c:cuics,
uacc ¡cacc a:c ¡la::cc va:ious wa,s oi |illi:g t|is :c¡ulsivc w:ctc|. lo: souc :caso:, u, |:ot|c:
co:sicc:cc l s|oulc co t|c cccc. l was ilattc:cc a:c wc loo|cc io: a suita|lc uouc:t.
l t|oug|t l was alo:c i: t|c a¡a:tuc:t o:c quict su::, aitc::oo: a:c c:c¡t i:to u, ¡a:c:ts`
|cc:oou, w|c:c t|c c:catu:c was aslcc¡ i: |c: ¡i:| |as|ct. l ¡ullcc u¡ a c|ai:, cliu|cc o: to it
a:c stooc loo|i:g at t|c swollc: iacc a:c c:i||li:g uout|. \, |:ot|c: |ac givc: uc ¡c:icctl, clca:
i:st:uctio:s, |ut l |ac uisu:cc:stooc. l:stcac oi squcczi:g u, sistc:`s t|:oat, l t:icc to ¡:css |c:
c|cst i:. ·|c wo|c at o:cc wit| a ¡c:ct:ati:g sc:cau. l ¡:csscc u, |a:c agai:st |c: uout| a:c |c:
watc:, |luc c,cs squi:tcc a:c sta:cc. l too| a stc¡ io:wa:c to gct a |cttc: g:i¡, lost u, iooti:g a:c
icll to t|c iloo:.
l :ccall t|at t|c cccc itscli was associatcc wit| acutc ¡lcasu:c t|at :a¡icl, tu::cc i:to tc::o:.
Ioca,, as l lca: ovc: ¡|otog:a¡|s oi u, c|ilc|ooc to stuc, u, uot|c:`s iacc t|:oug| a
uag:ii,i:g glass, l t:, to ¡c:ct:atc lo:g va:is|cc cuotio:s. Ycs, l lovcc |c: a:c s|c is vc:,
att:activc i: t|c ¡|otog:a¡|, wit| |c: t|ic| cc:t:c¡a:tcc |ai: a|ovc a |:oac io:c|cac, |c: soit oval
iacc, gc:tlc sc:sual uout|, |c: wa:u u:aiicctcc gazc |clow ca:| s|a¡cl, c,c|:ows, |c: suall
st:o:g |a:cs.
\, iou: ,ca:olc |ca:t was co:suucc wit| cogli|c ccvotio:.
:cvc:t|clcss, ou: :clatio:s|i¡ was :ot u:cou¡licatcc. \, ccvotio: cistu:|cc a:c i::itatcc |c:.
\, cx¡:cssio:s oi tc:cc::css a:c u, violc:t out|u:sts wo::icc |c:. ·|c oitc: sc:t uc awa, wit|
cool i:o:ic wo:cs a:c l wc¡t wit| :agc a:c cisa¡¡oi:tuc:t. lc: :clatio:s|i¡ wit| u, |:ot|c: was
siu¡lc:, io: s|c was alwa,s ccic:ci:g |iu agai:st lat|c:, w|o |:oug|t |iu u¡ wit| :igo:ous
stc:::css i: w|ic| |:utal iloggi:g was a :ccu::c:t a:guuc:t.
l slowl, :calizcc t|at u, aco:atio:, altc::atcl, gc:tlc a:c iu:ious, |ac littlc ciicct, so l soo:
sta:tcc to tcst out |c|aviou: t|at woulc ¡lcasc |c: a:c a:ousc |c: i:tc:cst. lll:css iuucciatcl,
att:actcc |c: s,u¡at|,. As l was a sic|l, c|ilc wit| c:clcss ailuc:ts, t|is cic i:cccc |ccouc a
¡ai:iul |ut succcssiul :outc to |c: tc:cc::css. ·: t|c ot|c: |a:c, as \ot|c: was a t:ai:cc :u:sc,
s|auui:g was swiitl, scc: t|:oug| a:c ¡u:is|cc i: ¡u|lic.
A:ot|c: wa, to gai: |c: attc:tio: ¡:ovcc uo:c |a:uiul. l lca::t t|at \ot|c: coulc :ot |ca:
i:ciiic:c:cc a:c ¡:coccu¡atio:. ·|c uscc t|cu as |e. wca¡o:s. l also lca::t to su|cuc u, ¡assio:s,
a:c sta:tcc o: a ¡cculia: gauc, t|c ¡:iua:, i:g:ccic:ts oi w|ic| wc:c a::oga:cc a:c a cool
i:ic:cli:css. l ca: :cucu|c: :ot|i:g a|out w|at l cic, |ut lovc ua|cs o:c c:tc:¡:isi:g a:c l
quic|l, succccccc i: c:cati:g i:tc:cst i: u, cou|i:atio: oi sc:sitivit, a:c sclicstccu,
\, g:catcst ¡:o|lcu was siu¡l, t|at l was :cvc: givc: t|c o¡¡o:tu:it, to :cvcal u, gauc,
t|:ow oii t|c uas| a:c allow u,scli to |c c:vclo¡cc i: a lovc t|at was :cci¡:ocatcc.
\a:, ,ca:s latc:, w|c: \ot|c: was i: |os¡ital wit| a tu|c i: |c: :osc aitc: |c: scco:c |ca:t
attac|, wc tal|cc a|out ou: livcs. l tolc |c: a|out u, suiic:i:gs i: c|ilc|ooc a:c s|c acuittcc s|c
|ac |cc: cist:csscc |, t|cu, |ut :ot i: t|c wa, l |ac t|oug|t. ·|c |ac ta|c: |c: t:ou|lcs to a
iauous ¡acciat:icia: a:c |c |ac wa::cc |c: i: solcu: tc:us to :c|cct o:ul, w|at |c callcc u,
sic|l, a¡¡:oac|cs`. lvc:, i:culgc:cc woulc cauagc uc io: liic.
l |avc a clca: ucuo:, oi a visit to t|is c|ilc s¡ccialist. l |ac :ciuscc to go to sc|ool, alt|oug| l
was al:cac, uo:c t|a: six. Da, aitc: ca, l was c:aggcc o: ca::icc, sc:caui:g wit| a:guis|, i:to t|c
class:oou. l vouitcc ovc: cvc:,t|i:g l saw, iai:tcc a:c lost u, sc:sc oi |ala:cc. l: t|c c:c, l wo:
t|c ca, a:c sc|ool was ¡ost¡o:cc, |ut t|c visit to t|is iauous ¡acciat:icia: was u:avoica|lc.
lc |ac a la:gc |ca:c, a |ig| colla: a:c suclt oi ciga:s. lc ¡ullcc cow: u, t:ousc:s, scizcc u,
i:sig:iiica:t o:ga: i: o:c |a:c a:c wit| t|c io:cii:gc: oi |is ot|c: |a:c c:cw a t:ia:glc :ou:c u,
c:otc|, t|c: saic to u, uot|c:, sitti:g |c|i:c uc i: |c: iu:ccgcc coat a:c ca:| g:cc: vclvct |at
wit| a vcil, I|c |o, still loo|s li|c a c|ilc |e.e.
W|c: wc got |ac| i:ou cocto:`s, l was c:csscc i: u, iaccc ,cllow suoc| wit| its :cc |o:cc:
a:c a cat cu|:oicc:cc o: t|c ¡oc|ct. l was givc: |ot c|ocolatc a:c c|ccsc sa:cwic|cs. I|c: l
wc:t i:to t|c :u:sc:,, :ow :cca¡tu:cc i:ou t|c |a|,.
\, |:ot|c: |ac sca:lct icvc: a:c was clscw|c:c. ;:atu:all, l |o¡cc |c woulc cic. I|c ciscasc
was ca:gc:ous i: t|osc ca,s., ·ut oi t|c to, cu¡|oa:c l too| a woocc: ca:t wit| :cc w|ccls a:c
,cllow s¡o|cs a:c |a::csscc a woocc: |o:sc to t|c s|aits. I|c t|:cat oi sc|ool |ac iaccc i:to a
¡lcasi:g ucuo:, oi a succcss.
·:c wi:c, ca, i: ca:l, 1-o., \ot|c: ¡|o:cc uc at t|c t|cat:c to tcll uc lat|c: |ac |cc:
ta|c: to |os¡ital a:c was to |c o¡c:atcc o: io: a ualig:a:t tuuou: i: |is gullct. ·|c wa:tcc uc to
go to scc |iu. l tolc |c: t|at l |ac :cit|c: tiuc :o: ccsi:c to co so, t|at u, iat|c: a:c l |ac :ot|i:g
to sa, to cac| ot|c:, t|at |c was a ¡c:so: to w|ou l was i:ciiic:c:t a:c l woulc ¡:o|a|l, o:l,
i:ig|tc: a:c cu|a::ass |iu |, goi:g to scc |iu o: w|at coulc |c |is ccat||cc. \ot|c: was a:g:,.
·|c ¡c:sistcc. l was u¡sct a:c :ciuscc to |c cuotio:all, |lac|uailcc. I|is ctc::al |lac|uail. co-·
,.o 1. .· ¡.. ¬, ·o|e· \ot|c: was iu:ious a:c sta:tcc c:,i:g. l ¡oi:tcc out t|at tca:s |ac :cvc: uacc
a:, iu¡:cssio: o: uc, a:c l slauucc cow: t|c :cccivc:.
I|at sauc cvc:i:g l was o: cut, at t|c t|cat:c. l wc:t |ac|stagc a:c tal|cc to t|c acto:s. l
|ustlcc i: ucu|c:s oi t|c aucic:cc w|o |ac a::ivcc latc |ccausc oi a :agi:g s:owsto:u. l sat i: u,
:oou wo:|i:g o: t|c scc:c:, io: lctc: Wciss` Ð.e i.¬.··!o-¸ j1|e i-·e··.¸o·..-¡.
I|c tclc¡|o:c :a:g a:c t|c gi:l o: t|c switc||oa:c :c¡o:tcc t|at \:s lc:gua: was t|c:c as|i:g
to s¡ca| to t|c t|cat:c ua:agc:. As t|c:c wc:c scvc:al \:s lc:gua:s to c|oosc i:ou, l s:a¡¡il,
as|cc w|ic| cau:cc \:s lc:gua:. I|c switc||oa:c gi:l :c¡licc wit| souc t:c¡icatio: t|at it was
t|c t|cat:c ci:ccto:`s uot|c: a:c s|c wis|cc to s¡ca| to |c: so: .¬¬e1.o·e!,.
l wc:t to ictc| u, uot|c:, w|o |ac uacc |c: wa, to t|c t|cat:c t|:oug| t|c s:owsto:u a:c
was still |:cat|i:g |cavil, i:ou t|c ciio:t, |c: |ac |ca:t a:c |c: a:gc:. l as|cc |c: to sit cow: a:c
w|ct|c: s|c woulc li|c a cu¡ oi tca. ·|c :c¡licc t|at s|c was cc:tai:l, :ot goi:g to sit cow: a:c
:cit|c: |ac s|c a:, ccsi:c io: tca. I|c ¡u:¡osc oi |c: visit was to |ca: uc :c¡cat t|c |ca:tlcss a:c
|:utal a|usc l |ac cx¡:csscc ovc: t|c tclc¡|o:c t|at sauc uo::i:g. ·|c wa:tcc to scc w|at l
loo|cc li|c w|c: l :c|cctcc a:c i:sultcc u, ¡a:c:ts.
I|c s:ow ucltcc :ou:c t|c littlc iu:clac ¡c:so:, ua|i:g ca:| ¡atc|cs o: t|c ca:¡ct. ·|c was
vc:, ¡alc, |c: c,cs |lac| wit| a:gc: a:c |c: :osc :cc.
l t:icc to cu|:acc |c: a:c |iss |c:, |ut s|c ¡us|cc uc awa, a:c sla¡¡cc u, iacc. ;\ot|c:`s
sla¡¡i:g tcc|:iquc was u:su:¡asscc. I|c |low was ccalt li|c lig|t:i:g a:c wit| |c: lcit |a:c o:
w|ic| two |cav, wccci:g :i:gs acccc ¡ai:iul cu¡|asis to t|c ¡u:is|uc:t., l laug|cc a:c \ot|c:
|u:st i:to tca:s. ·|c sa:|, wit| co:sicc:a|lc s|ill, o: to a c|ai: at t|c ta|lc a:c |ic |c: iacc i: |c:
:ig|t |a:c w|ilc iuu|li:g io: a |a:c|c:c|ici i: |c: |ag wit| t|c ot|c:.
l sat cow: |csicc |c: a:c assu:cc |c: t|at oi cou:sc l woulc go to scc u, iat|c:, t|at l :cg:cttcc
w|at l |ac saic a:c t|at wit| all u, |ca:t l as|cc |c: io:givc:css.
·|c ilu:g |c: a:us :ou:c uc a:c saic s|c woulc :ot cistu:| uc io: a ui:utc lo:gc:.
Aitc: w|ic| wc |ac tca a:c tal|cc calul, u:til two o`cloc| i: t|c uo::i:g.
All t|at |a¡¡c:cc o: a Iucsca,. ·: t|c iollowi:g ·u:ca,, a: acquai:ta:cc oi t|c iauil,, w|o
was sta,i:g wit| \ot|c: w|ilc lat|c: was i: |os¡ital, tclc¡|o:cc to as| uc to couc at o:cc as
\ot|c: |ac |cc: ta|c: ill. lc: cocto:, l:oicsso: :a::a ·va:tz, was o: |c: wa, a:c io: t|c
uouc:t t|c attac| |ac a|atcc. l |u::icc ovc: to ·to:gata: ¯. I|c ¡:oicsso: o¡c:cc t|c coo: a:c at
o:cc tolc uc t|at \ot|c: |ac cicc a icw ui:utcs ca:lic:.
Io u, su:¡:isc, l |cga: to wcc¡ loucl, a:c u:co:t:olla|l,. I|at soo: ¡asscc a:c t|c olc cocto:
stooc i: silc:cc |olci:g u, |a:c. W|c: l |ac calucc cow:, s|c tolc uc it |ac all |a¡¡c:cc quitc
quic|l,, i: two wavcs oi twc:t, ui:utcs cac|. :ot lo:g aitc:wa:cs, l was alo:c wit| \ot|c: i: t|c
silc:t a¡a:tuc:t.
·|c was l,i:g i: |c: |cc, wca:i:g a ila::cl :ig|tgow: a:c a |:ittcc |luc |cc|ac|ct. lc: |cac
was tu::cc slig|tl, siccwa,s a:c |c: li¡s wc:c ¡a:tcc. ·|c was ¡alc, wit| s|acows :ou:c |c: c,cs.
lc: still ca:| |ai: was :catl, cou|cc :o, |c: |ai: was :o lo:gc: ca:|, |ut i:o:g:c,, a:c i:
:ccc:t ,ca:s |ac |cc: cut s|o:t, |ut t|c iuagc oi |c: i: u, ucuo:, tclls uc |c: |ai: was ca:|,
¡ossi|l, st:ca|cc wit| g:c,. lc: |a:cs wc:c :csti:g o: |c: |:cast. ·: |c: lcit io:cii:gc: was a
suall |a:c aic.
I|c :oou was succc:l, iillcc wit| |:ig|t ca:l, s¡:i:g lig|t, t|c littlc ala:u cloc| tic|i:g awa,
|usil, o: t|c |ccsicc ta|lc.
l t|oug|t t|at \ot|c: was |:cat|i:g, t|at |c: |:cast was |cavi:g a:c t|at l coulc |ca: a quict
i:c:aw: |:cat|. l t|oug|t |c: c,clics twitc|cc. l t|oug|t s|c was aslcc¡ a:c |ust a|out to wa|c, u,
|a|itual illuso:, gauc wit| :calit,.
l sat t|c:c io: scvc:al |ou:s. I|c c|u:c| |clls oi lccvig llco:o:a :a:g io: uo::i:g sc:vicc, t|c
lig|t s|iitcc a:c l coulc |ca: ¡ia:o uusic soucw|c:c. l co:`t t|i:| l was g:icvi:g, o: t|at l was
t|i:|i:g, o: cvc: t|at l was o|sc:vi:g u,scli o: ¡la,i:g a :olc t|at ¡:oicssio:al ciscasc w|ic|
|as iollowcc uc uc:cilcssl, t|:oug|out u, liic a:c so oitc: :o||cc o: ciui:is|cc u, uost
¡:oiou:c cx¡c:ic:ccs.
l co:`t :ccall uuc| oi t|osc |ou:s i: \ot|c:`s :oou. W|at l :cucu|c: uost is t|c |a:c aic o:
|c: lcit io:cii:gc:.
I|at sauc aitc::oo: l wc:t to scc lat|c: i: |os¡ital a:c tolc |iu a|out \ot|c:`s ccat|. lc |ac
su:vivcc t|c o¡c:atio:, as wcll as t|c co:scquc:t ¡:cuuo:ia, a:c was :ow sitti:g i: t|c wa:c`s
|luc a:uc|ai: i: |is olc c:cssi:g gow:, s|avcc a:c tic,, |is lo:g g:a:lcc |a:c o: t|c |a:clc oi |is
stic|. lc loo|cc stcacil, at uc, |is c,cs clca:, calu a:c wicc o¡c:. W|c: l |ac tolc |iu w|at l
|:cw, |c |ust :occcc a:c as|cc uc to lcavc |iu alo:c.
\ost oi ou: u¡|:i:gi:g was |ascc o: suc| co:cc¡ts as si:, co:icssio:, ¡u:is|uc:t, io:givc:css
a:c g:acc, co:c:ctc iacto:s i: :clatio:s|i¡s |ctwcc: c|ilc:c: a:c ¡a:c:ts a:c Goc. I|c:c was a:
i::atc logic i: all t|is w|ic| wc accc¡tcc a:c t|oug|t wc u:cc:stooc. I|is iact ua, wcll |avc
co:t:i|utcc to ou: asto:is|i:g accc¡ta:cc oi :azisu. Wc |ac :cvc: |ca:c oi i:cccou a:c |:cw
cvc: lcss w|at it tastcc li|c. l: a |ic:a:c|ical s,stcu, all coo:s a:c closcc.
·o ¡u:is|uc:ts wc:c souct|i:g sclicvicc:t, :cvc: qucstio:cc. I|c, coulc |c swiit a:c siu¡lc,
a sla¡ ovc: t|c iacc o: a suac| o: t|c |ottou, |ut t|c, coulc also |c cxt:cucl, so¡|isticatcc,
:cii:cc t|:oug| gc:c:atio:s.
li l wct u,scli, w|ic| oitc: |a¡¡c:cc, a:c all too casil,, l was uacc to wca: a :cc |:cclc:gt|
s|i:t io: t|c :cst oi t|c ca,. I|is was :cga:ccc as |a:ulcss a:c iu::,. \a|o: c:iucs :ca¡cc
cxcu¡la:, ¡u:is|uc:t, sta:ti:g i:ou w|c: t|c c:iuc was ciscovc:cc. l: ui:o: i:sta:ccs t|c
c:iui:al co:icsscc, sa, to uaics, o: to \ot|c: o: o:c o: t|c i::uuc:a|lc icualc :clatio:s livi:g at
ou: ¡a:so:agc o: va:ious occasio:s.
I|c iuucciatc co:scquc:cc oi co:icssi:g was to |c i:ozc: out. :o o:c s¡o|c o: :c¡licc to
,ou. As ia: as l ca: ua|c out, t|is was to ua|c t|c c:iui:al lo:g io: ¡u:is|uc:t a:c io:givc:css.
Aitc: ci::c: a:c coiicc, t|c ¡a:tics wc:c suuuo:cc to lat|c:`s :oou, w|c:c i:tc::ogatio: a:c
co:icssio:s wc:c :c:cwcc. Aitc: t|at, t|c ca:¡ct |catc: was ictc|cc a:c ,ou ,ou:scli |ac to statc
|ow ua:, st:o|cs ,ou co:sicc:cc ,ou ccsc:vcc. W|c: t|c ¡u:is|uc:t quota |ac |cc: csta|lis|cc,
a |a:c g:cc: cus|io: was ictc|cc, t:ousc:s a:c u:cc:¡a:ts ta|c: cow:, ,ou ¡:ost:atcc ,ou:scli
ovc: t|c cus|io:, souco:c |clc ii:ul, o: to ,ou: :cc| a:c t|c st:o|cs wc:c acui:istc:cc.
l ca:`t uai:tai: t|at it |u:t all t|at uuc|. I|c :itual a:c t|c |uuiliatio: wc:c w|at was so
¡ai:iul. \, |:ot|c: got t|c wo:st oi it. \ot|c: oitc: uscc to sit |, |is |cc, |at|i:g |is |ac| w|c:c
t|c ca:¡ct |catc: |ac loosc:cc t|c s|i: a:c st:ca|cc |is |ac| wit| |looc, wcals. As l |atcc u,
|:ot|c: a:c was i:ig|tc:cc oi |is succc: ila:i:g :agcs, l iou:c g:cat satisiactio: i: scci:g |iu
¡u:is|cc so scvc:cl,.
Aitc: t|c st:o|cs |ac |cc: acui:istc:cc, ,ou |ac to |iss lat|c:`s |a:c, at w|ic| io:givc:css was
cccla:cc a:c t|c |u:cc: oi si: icll awa,, cclivc:a:cc a:c g:acc c:succ. I|oug| oi cou:sc ,ou |ac
to go to |cc wit|out su¡¡c: a:c cvc:i:g :caci:g, t|c :clici was :cvc:t|clcss co:sicc:a|lc.
I|c:c was also a s¡o:ta:cous |i:c oi ¡u:is|uc:t w|ic| coulc |c vc:, u:¡lcasa:t io: a c|ilc
to:uc:tcc |, ica: oi t|c ca:|. |ci:g s|ut i:sicc a s¡ccial cu¡|oa:c. Alua i: t|c |itc|c: |ac tolc us
t|at i: t|at ¡a:ticula: cu¡|oa:c livcc a littlc c:catu:c w|ic| atc t|c tocs oi :aug|t, c|ilc:c:. l quitc
clca:l, |ca:c souct|i:g uovi:g i: t|c:c i: t|c ca:| a:c u, tc::o: was total. l co:`t :cucu|c:
w|at l cic, ¡:o|a|l, cliu|cc o: to s|clvcs o: |u:g i:ou |oo|s to avoic |avi:g u, tocs ccvou:cc.
I|is io:u oi ¡u:is|uc:t lost its tc::o: w|c: l iou:c a solutio:. l |ic a to:c| wit| a :cc a:c
g:cc: lig|t i: a co::c: oi t|c cu¡|oa:c. W|c: l was s|ut i:, l |u:tcc out u, to:c|, ci:cctcc t|c
|cau oi lig|t at t|c wall a:c ¡:ctc:ccc l was at t|c ci:cua. ·:cc w|c: t|c coo: was o¡c:cc, l la,
o: t|c iloo: wit| u, c,cs closcc, ¡:ctc:ci:g to |c u:co:scious. lvc:,o:c was |o::iiicc cxcc¡t
\ot|c:, w|o sus¡cctcc s|auui:g, |ut :o cvicc:cc coulc |c iou:c a:c iu:t|c: ¡u:is|uc:t was :ot
io:t|coui:g.
·t|c: ¡u:is|uc:ts wc:c :o cxcu:sio:s to t|c ci:cua, :o iooc, |ci:g sc:t to |cc o: sc:t to
,ou: :oou, cxt:a |oucwo:|, ca:i:g o: ,ou: |a:c, |ai:¡ulli:g, wo:|i:g i: t|c |itc|c: ;w|ic|
coulc |c :at|c: ¡lcasa:t,, :o o:c s¡ca|i:g to ,ou io: a s¡cciiic tiuc a:c so o:.
:owaca,s, l u:cc:sta:c u, ¡a:c:ts` ccs¡c:atio:. A ¡asto:`s iauil, livcs as ii o: a t:a,,
u:¡:otcctcc i:ou ot|c: c,cs. I|c ¡a:so:agc uust alwa,s |c o¡c: to c:iticisu a:c couuc:ts i:ou
t|c co:g:cgatio:. lot| lat|c: a:c \ot|c: wc:c ¡c:icctio:ists w|o saggcc |c:cat| t|is
u::caso:a|lc ¡:cssu:c. I|ci: wo:|i:g ca, was o¡c:c:ccc, t|ci: ua::iagc ciiiicult, t|ci: scli
cisci¡li:c i:o:|a:c. I|ci: two so:s :cilcctcc c|a:actc:istics t|c, u::cuitti:gl, ¡u:is|cc i:
t|cusclvcs. \, |:ot|c: was :c|cllious a:c u:a|lc to ¡:otcct |iuscli. lat|c: uscc all |is will¡owc:
to |:ca| |iu, a:c aluost succccccc. \, sistc: was lovcc vc:, uuc| a:c ¡osscssivcl,, |, |ot|
¡a:c:ts. ·|c :cs¡o:ccc wit| scliciiaccuc:t a:c gc:tlc tiuicit,.
l t|i:| l cauc oii |cst |, tu::i:g u,scli i:to a lia:. l c:catcc a: cxtc::al ¡c:so: w|o |ac vc:,
littlc to co wit| t|c reai uc. As l cic:`t |:ow |ow to |cc¡ u, c:catio: a:c u, ¡c:so: a¡a:t, t|c
cauagc |ac co:scquc:ccs io: u, liic a:c c:cativit, ia: i:to acult|ooc. ·ouctiucs l |avc to co:solc
u,scli wit| t|c iact t|at |c w|o |as livcc a lic lovcs t|c t:ut|.
\, ii:st co:scious lic sta:cs out clca:l, i: u, ucuo:,. lat|c: |ac |ccouc a |os¡ital c|a¡lai:.
Wc |ac uovcc to a ,cllow |ousc o: t|c ccgc oi t|c g:cat ¡a:| t|at |o:cc:s lill¡a:ss|ogc: i:
·toc||olu. lt was a colc wi:tc:`s ca, a:c u, |:ot|c: a:c l a:c |is i:ic:cs |ac |cc: t|:owi:g
s:ow|alls at t|c g:cc:|ousc o: t|c ccgc oi t|c ¡a:|, |:ca|i:g a g:cat ua:, ¡a:cs. I|c ga:cc:c: at
o:cc sus¡cctcc us a:c :c¡o:tcc t|c uattc: to lat|c:. l:tc::ogatio:s iollowcc. \, |:ot|c:
co:icsscc a:c so cic |is cou¡a:io:s. l was i: t|c |itc|c: c:i:|i:g a glass oi uil|, Alua |a|i:g at
t|c |itc|c: ta|lc, w|c: ·i:i, t|c |ouscuaic, cauc i:to t|c |itc|c: a:c :cla,cc t|c ¡:og:css oi t|c
awiul ¡u:is|uc:ts. ·|c as|cc uc ii l |ac |ac a:, ¡a:t i: t|is va:calisu, souct|i:g l |ac al:cac,
cc:icc at a ¡:cliui:a:, i:tc::ogatio: ;l |ac |cc: tcu¡o:a:il, :clcascc owi:g to lac| oi cvicc:cc,.
W|c: ·i:i |o|i:gl, as|cc uc as ii i: ¡assi:g w|ct|c: l |ac succccccc i: |:ca|i:g a:, ¡a:cs, l
:calizcc s|c was t:,i:g to t:a¡ uc, so l :c¡licc i: a calu voicc t|at l |ac |ust watc|cc io: a w|ilc
a:c t|:ow: a icw loosc s:ow|alls t|at |ac |it u, |:ot|c:, |ut t|c: l`c lcit |ccausc u, icct wc:c so
colc, l clca:l, :cucu|c: t|i:|i:g. I|is is |ust w|at ,ou co w|c: ,ou lic.
lt was a cccisivc ciscovc:,. l: :oug|l, t|c sauc :atio:al wa, as \olic:c`s Do: ¡ua:, l ccciccc to
|c A l,¡oc:itc. l ca::ot sa, l was alwa,s succcssiul. owi:g to lac| oi cx¡c:ic:cc, l was souctiucs
scc: t|:oug|, a:c occasio:all, outsicc:s i:tc:vc:cc.
. I|c iauil, |ac a: iuuc:scl, :ic| |c:ciacto: callcc Au:t A::a. ·|c i:vitcc us to c|ilc:c:`s
¡a:tics wit| co:|u:o:s a:c ot|c: cclig|ts. ·|c alwa,s gavc us cx¡c:sivc a:c uuc| covctcc
·|:istuas ¡:csc:ts a:c too| us cvc:, ,ca: to t|c ·c|uua:: ·i:cus ¡:cuic:c i: D|u:ga:cc:. I|is
cvc:t c:ovc uc i:to a statc oi icvc:is| cxcitcuc:t. t|c ca: |ou::c, wit| Au:t A::a`s u:iio:ucc
c|auiicu:, goi:g i:to t|c |ugc |:ig|tl, lit woocc: |uilci:g, t|c scc:ct suclls, Au:t A::a`s
voluui:ous |at, t|c |la:i:g o:c|cst:a, t|c uagic oi t|c ¡:c¡a:atio:s a:c t|c :oa:i:g oi lio:s a:c
tigc:s |c|i:c t|c :cc c:a¡c:ics oi t|c ci:cus c:t:a:cc. ·ouco:c w|is¡c:cc t|at a lio: |ac a¡¡ca:cc
i: a ca:| o¡c:i:g u:cc: t|c cu¡ola a:c t|at t|c clow:s wc:c i:ig|tc:i:g a:c agg:cssivc. l icll aslcc¡
i:ou s|cc: cuotio: a:c awo|c to wo:cc:iul uusic a ,ou:g woua: c:csscc i: w|itc was :ici:g
a:ou:c o: a |ugc |lac| stallio:.
l was ovc:couc wit| lovc io: t|is ,ou:g woua:. ·|c was i:cluccc i: u, ia:tas, gaucs a:c l
callcc |c: lsuc:alca ;¡c:|a¡s t|at was |c: :auc,. \, iictio: ii:all, too| a: alltoo|aza:cous stc¡
out i:to :calit,. u:cc: a: oat| oi scc:cc,, l co:iiccc i: t|c |o, callcc :issc w|o sat :cxt to uc at
sc|ool. l tolc |iu t|at u, ¡a:c:ts |ac solc uc to ·c|uua::`s ·i:cus a:c l was soo: to |c ta|c:
awa, i:ou |ouc a:c sc|ool to |c t:ai:cc as a: ac:o|at, togct|c: wit| lsuc:alca, w|o was
co:sicc:cc t|c uost |cautiiul woua: i: t|c wo:lc. I|c :cxt ca, u, ia:tas, was :cvcalcc a:c
ccscc:atcc.
\, class tcac|c: co:sicc:cc t|c uattc: so sc:ious t|at s|c w:otc a: agitatcc lcttc: to u,
uot|c:. I|c:c was a c:caciul cou:t scc:c. l was ¡ut u¡ agai:st t|c wall, |uuiliatcc a:c cisg:accc,
at |ouc as wcll as at sc|ool.
liit, ,ca:s latc:, l as|cc \ot|c: ii s|c :cucu|c:cc u, salc to t|c ci:cus, s|c cic, vc:, wcll. l
as|cc w|, :o o:c |ac laug|cc o: at lcast |cc: aiicctio:atcl, auuscc w|c: iaccc wit| so uuc|
iuagi:atio: a:c ca:i:g. Dic :o o:c qucstio: t|c ccc¡c: :caso:s w|, a scvc: ,ca:olc wis|cc to
lcavc |ouc a:c |c solc to a ci:cus· \ot|c: :c¡licc t|at t|c, |ac al:cac, |cc: t:ou|lcc o: scvc:al
occasio:s |, u, lics a:c ia:tasics. l: |c: a:guis|, s|c |ac co:sultcc t|c ¡acciat:icia:. lc |ac
cu¡|asizcc |ow iu¡o:ta:t it was io: a c|ilc to lca:: at a: ca:l, stagc to ciiic:c:tiatc |ctwcc:
ia:tas, a:c :calit,. As t|c, wc:c :ow iaccc wit| a: i:solc:t a:c ilag:a:t lic, it |ac to |c ¡u:is|cc
acco:ci:gl,.
l |ac u, :cvc:gc o: u, io:uc: i:ic:c |, ta|i:g u, |:ot|c:`s s|cat||:iic a:c c|asi:g |iu
a:ou:c t|c sc|ool ¡la,g:ou:c. W|c: a tcac|c: t|:cw |c:scli |ctwcc: us, l t:icc to |ill |c:.
l was :cuovcc i:ou sc|ool a:c scvc:cl, |catc:. I|c: u, ialsc i:ic:c caug|t ¡olio a:c cicc,
w|ic| ¡lcascc uc. I|c w|olc class was sc:t |ouc io: t|:cc wcc|s as was t|c custou, a:c
cvc:,t|i:g was io:gottc:.
lut l still ia:tasizcc a|out lsuc:alca, ou: acvc:tu:cs |ccoui:g uo:c a:c uo:c ca:gc:ous a:c
ou: ¡ovc uo:c a:c uo:c ¡assio:atc. \ca:w|ilc, l |ccauc c:gagcc to a gi:l i: u, class callcc
Glac,s, t|us |ct:a,i:g Ii¡¡a:, u, iait|iul ¡la,uatc.
I|c ¡a:| oi ·o¡|ia|cuuct, t|c :o,al |os¡ital, is la:gc, t|c i:o:t iaci:g o: to t|c Val|allavagc:,
t|c ·taciuu o: o:c sicc a:c t|c ·ollcgc oi Icc|:olog, o: t|c ot|c:. lt ¡c:ct:atcs ccc¡ i:to lill
¡a:ss|ogc:. I|c |uilci:gs, :ot ua:, i: t|osc ca,s, wc:c scattc:cc ovc: t|c :olli:g la:csca¡c.
l :oaucc a:ou:c i:ccl, a:c cx¡c:ic:ccc all |i:cs oi t|i:gs. I|c c|a¡cl, a suall |:ic| |uilci:g
ccc¡ i: t|c ¡a:|, a:ouscc u, s¡ccial i:tc:cst. I|:oug| u, i:ic:cs|i¡ wit| t|c |os¡ital ca:cta|c:,
w|o was i: c|a:gc oi t:a:s¡o:t |ctwcc: |os¡ital a:c c|a¡cl, l |ca:c a g:cat ua:, gooc sto:ics a:c
was allowcc to scc a lot oi co:¡scs i: va:ious stagcs oi ccca,. A:ot|c: |uilci:g, c:t:a:cc to w|ic|
:call, was io:|iccc:, was t|c |oilc: :oou wit| its iou: |ugc :oa:i:g iu::accs. ·oal was |:oug|t o:
t:ollc,s a:c ti¡¡cc i:to t|c iu::accs |, |lac| iigu:cs. ·a:ts, |a::csscc to |cav, A:cc::cs |o:scs,
a::ivcc scvc:al ca,s cac| wcc| a:c t|c sac|s wc:c |uu¡cc to t|c o¡c: stccl iu::acc coo:s |, uc:
i: sac|i:g |oocs. :ow a:c agai:, scc:ct loacs oi |looc, o:ga:s a:c au¡utatcc liu|s wc:c
c:cuatcc i: t|c iu::accs.
lvc:, ot|c: ·u:ca,, lat|c: co:cuctcc couuu:io: sc:vicc i: t|c |os¡ital c|a¡cl, w|ic| iillcc
wit| :u:scs i: |lac| ·u:ca, u:iio:us a:c sta:c|cc w|itc a¡:o:s, t|c ·o¡|ia|cuuct ca¡ o: t|ci:
wcllg:ooucc |cacs. ·¡¡ositc t|c ¡a:so:agc was ·ol|cuuct, w|c:c livcc vc:, olc :u:scs w|o |ac
ccvotcc t|ci: livcs to t|c |os¡ital. I|c, wc:c li|c a: o:cc: oi :u:s wit| st:ict co:vc:t :cgulatio:s.
I|c i:|a|ita:ts oi ·ol|cuuct coulc loo| :ig|t i:to t|c ¡a:so:agc. A:c t|c, cic.
Io |c |o:cst, l t|i:| |ac| o: u, ca:l, ,ca:s wit| cclig|t a:c cu:iosit,. \, iuagi:atio: a:c
sc:scs wc:c givc: :ou:is|uc:t, a:c l :cucu|c: :ot|i:g cull, i: iact t|c ca,s a:c |ou:s |c¡t
cx¡loci:g wit| wo:cc:s, u:cx¡cctcc sig|ts a:c uagical uouc:ts. l ca: still :oau t|:oug| t|c
la:csca¡c oi u, c|ilc|ooc a:c agai: cx¡c:ic:cc lig|ts, suclls, ¡co¡lc, :oous, uouc:ts, gcstu:cs,
to:cs oi voicc a:c o||ccts. I|csc ucuo:ics sclcou |avc a:, ¡a:ticula: uca:i:g, |ut a:c li|c s|o:t
o: lo:gc: iilus wit| :o ¡oi:t, s|ot at :a:cou.
I|c ¡:c:ogativc oi c|ilc|ooc is to uovc u:|i:cc:cc |ctwcc: uagic a:c oatucal ¡o::icgc,
|ctwcc: |ou:clcss tc::o: a:c cx¡losivc |o,. I|c:c wc:c :o |ou:ca:ics cxcc¡t ¡:o|i|itio:s a:c
:cgulatio:s, w|ic| wc:c s|acow,, uostl, i:cou¡:c|c:si|lc. lo: i:sta:cc, l |:ow l cic :ot g:as¡
t|c co:cc¡t oi tiuc. 1.o .eo!!, ¬o·· !eo.- ·. /e ¡o-.·oo!. You`·e /ee- ¸.·e- o «o·.| o-1 ,.o |-.« |.« ·.
·e!! ·|e ·.¬e. lut tiuc ccascc to cxist, souct|i:g tolc uc l was ¡:o|a|l, |u:g:,, t|c:c was a :ow.
lt was ciiiicult to ciiic:c:tiatc |ctwcc: w|at was ia:tas, a:c w|at was co:sicc:cc :cal. li l
uacc a: ciio:t, l was ¡c:|a¡s a|lc to ua|c :calit, sta, :cal. lut, io: i:sta:cc, t|c:c wc:c g|osts
a:c s¡cct:cs. W|at s|oulc l co wit| t|cu· A:c t|c sagas, wc:c t|c, :cal· Goc a:c t|c A:gcls·
¡csus ·|:ist· Acau a:c lvc· I|c llooc· W|at was it t:ul, li|c to |c wit| A|:a|au a:c lsaac· Was
|c .eo!!, goi:g to cut lsaac`s t|:oat· l sta:cc i: cisua, at Do:c`s c:g:avi:g, icc:tii,i:g u,scli wit|
lsaac. I|at was :cal. lat|c: was goi:g to slit l:gua:`s t|:oat. W|at woulc |a¡¡c: ii t|c A:gcl
cauc too latc· I|c: t|c, woulc |o·e to wcc¡. llooc :u::i:g a:c l:gua: suili:g |lca|l,. kcalit,.
I|c: cauc t|c ci:cuatog:a¡|.
I|c wcc|s |cio:c ·|:istuas. I|c iuuc:scl, :ic| Au:t A::a`s u:iio:ucc \: ¡a:sso: |ac
al:cac, cclivc:cc a qua:tit, oi ¡:csc:ts. As usual, t|c, wc:c ¡laccc i: t|c ·|:istuas ¡:csc:t |as|ct
i: t|c cu¡|oa:c u:cc: t|c stai:s. ·:c ¡a:ccl i: ¡a:ticula: a:ouscc u, cxcitcc cu:iosit,. lt was
|:ow: a:c a:gula: wit| lo:s:c:s` o: t|c w:a¡¡i:g ¡a¡c:. lo:s:c:s was a ¡|otog:a¡|ic sto:c i:
lau:gata: w|ic| solc :ot o:l, cauc:as |ut :cal ci:cuatog:a¡|s.
\o:c t|a: a:,t|i:g clsc, l lo:gcc io: a ci:cuatog:a¡|. I|c ,ca: |cio:c, l |ac |cc: to t|c
ci:cua io: t|c ii:st tiuc a:c scc: a iilu a|out a |o:sc. l t|i:| it was callcc i!o.| ieoo·, a:c was
|ascc o: a iauous |oo|. I|c iilu was o: at t|c ·tu:c ci:cua a:c wc sat i: t|c i:o:t :ow oi t|c
ci:clc. Io uc, it was t|c |cgi::i:g. l was ovc:couc wit| a icvc: t|at |as :cvc: lcit uc. I|c silc:t
s|acows tu::cc t|ci: ¡alc iaccs towa:cs uc a:c s¡o|c i: i:auci|lc voiccs to u, uost scc:ct
iccli:gs. ·ixt, ,ca:s |avc go:c |, a:c :ot|i:g |as c|a:gcc, t|c icvc: is t|c sauc.
latc: t|at autuu:, l wc:t to scc a sc|ool i:ic:c w|o |ac a ci:cuatog:a¡| a:c a icw iilus, a:c
|c ¡ut o: a cutiiul ¡c:io:ua:cc io: Ii¡¡a: a:c uc. l was allowcc to wi:c t|c uac|i:c w|ilc ou:
|ost :cc|cc wit| Ii¡¡a:.
·|:istuas was a: cx¡losio: oi auuscuc:ts. \ot|c: ci:cctcc it all wit| a ii:u |a:c, a:c t|c:c
uust |avc |cc: co:sicc:a|lc o:ga:izatio: |c|i:c t|is o:g, oi |os¡italit,, ucals, visiti:g :clativcs,
·|:istuas ¡:csc:ts a:c c|u:c| a::a:gcuc:ts.
At |ouc, ·|:istuas lvc was a iai:l, quict aiiai: w|ic| |cga: wit| ·|:istuas ¡:a,c:s i: c|u:c|
at iivc o`cloc|, t|c: a |a¡¡, |ut :cst:ai:cc ucal, t|c lig|ti:g oi t|c ca:clcs o: t|c t:cc, t|c :caci:g
oi t|c ·|:istuas sto:, a:c ca:l, |cc. ;Wc |ac to |c u¡ io: ca:l, uass t|c :cxt ca,, i: t|osc ca,s
:call, ca:l,., :o ¡:csc:ts wc:c |a:ccc out, |ut t|c cvc:i:g was |o,iul, a: cxciti:g ¡:clucc to t|c
icstivitics oi ·|:istuas Da,. Aitc: ca:l, ·|u:c| sc:vicc wit| lig|tcc ca:clcs a:c t:uu¡cts cauc
·|:istuas |:ca|iast. l, t|c: lat|c: |ac ca::icc out |is ¡:oicssio:al cutics a:c |ac cxc|a:gcc |is
cassoc| io: |is suo|i:g |ac|ct. lc was i: |is uost uc::, uooc a:c uacc a: iu¡:oviscc s¡ccc| i:
vc:sc to ou: gucsts, sa:g a so:g cou¡oscc io: t|c occasio:, toastcc cvc:,o:c i: sc|:a¡¡s, gavc
iuitatio:s oi |is collcagucs a:c uacc cvc:,o:c laug|. l souctiucs t|i:| a|out |is c|cc:iul lig|t
|ca:tcc:css, |is |i:c:css, i:ic:cli:css a:c cxt:avaga:cc, cvc:,t|i:g t|at |ac |cc: co:ccalcc |c|i:c
ca:|:css, scvc:it,, |:utalit, a:c :cuotc:css. l t|i:| t|at i: u, ucuo:, l |avc oitc: co:c u,
iat|c: a: i:|usticc.
Aitc: |:ca|iast, cvc:,o:c wc:t to |cc io: a icw |ou:s. I|c i:tc::al coucstic :outi:c uust |avc
go:c o: wo:|i:g, io: at two o`cloc|, |ust as cus| was ialli:g, aitc::oo: coiicc was sc:vcc. Wc |ac
o¡c: |ousc io: a:,o:c w|o ca:cc to couc a:c wis| t|c ¡a:so:agc a |a¡¡, ·|:istuas. ·cvc:al
i:ic:cs wc:c ¡:actisi:g uusicia:s a:c ¡a:t oi t|c aitc::oo: icstivitics was usuall, a: iu¡:oviscc
co:cc:t. I|c: t|c suu¡tuous cului:atio: oi ·|:istuas Da, a¡¡:oac|cc. t|c cvc:i:g ucal. I|is
was |clc i: ou: s¡acious |itc|c:, w|c:c t|c social |ic:a:c|, was tcu¡o:a:il, sct asicc. All t|c iooc
was laic out o: a sc:vi:g ta|lc a:c covc:cc wo:|i:g su:iaccs, a:c t|c cist:i|utio: oi ·|:istuas
giits too| ¡lacc at t|c ci:i:g:oou ta|lc. I|c |as|cts wc:c ca::icc i:, lat|c: oiiiciatcc wit| a ciga:
a:c glass oi swcct liqucu:, t|c ¡:csc:ts wc:c |a:ccc out, vc:scs wc:c :cac alouc, a¡¡lauccc a:c
couuc:tcc o:, :o ¡:csc:ts wit|out vc:scs.
I|at was w|c: t|c ci:cuatog:a¡| aiiai: occu::cc. \, |:ot|c: was t|c o:c w|o got it.
At o:cc l |cga: to |owl. l was tic|cc oii a:c cisa¡¡ca:cc u:cc: t|c ta|lc, w|c:c l :agcc o: a:c
was tolc to |c quict iuucciatcl,. l :us|cc oii to t|c :u:sc:,, swca:i:g a:c cu:si:g, co:sicc:cc
:u::i:g awa,, t|c: ii:all, icll aslcc¡ cx|austcc |, g:ici.
I|c ¡a:t, wc:t o:.
latc: i: t|c cvc:i:g l wo|c u¡. Gc:t:uc was si:gi:g a iol| so:g cow:stai:s a:c t|c :ig|tlig|t
was glowi:g. A t:a:s¡a:c:c, oi t|c :ativit, scc:c a:c t|c s|c¡|c:cs at ¡:a,c: was gliuuc:i:g
iai:tl, o: t|c tall c|cstoic:awc:s. Auo:g u, |:ot|c:`s ot|c: ·|:istuas ¡:csc:ts o: t|c w|itc
gatclcggcc ta|lc was t|c ci:cuatog:a¡|, wit| its c:oo|cc c|iu:c,, its |cautiiull, s|a¡cc |:ass lc:s
a:c its :ac| io: t|c iilu loo¡s.
l uacc a swiit cccisio:. l wo|c u, |:ot|c: a:c ¡:o¡oscc a ccal. l oiic:cc |iu u, |u:c:cc ti:
solcic:s i: cxc|a:gc io: t|c ci:cuatog:a¡|. As Dag ¡osscsscc a |ugc a:u, a:c was alwa,s i:volvcc
i: wa: gaucs wit| |is i:ic:cs, a: ag:ccuc:t was uacc to t|c satisiactio: oi |ot| ¡a:tics. I|c
ci:cuatog:a¡| was ui:c.
lt was :ot a cou¡licatcc uac|i:c. I|c sou:cc oi lig|t was a ¡a:aiii: lau¡ a:c t|c c:a:| was
attac|cc wit| a cogw|ccl a:c a \altcsc c:oss. At t|c |ac| oi t|c uctal |ox was a siu¡lc :cilccti:g
ui::o:, |c|i:c t|c lc:s a slot io: colou:cc la:tc:: sliccs. I|c a¡¡a:atus also i:cluccc a squa:c
¡u:¡lc |ox w|ic| co:tai:cc souc glass sliccs a:c a sc¡iacolou:cc iilu st:i¡ ;!.uu,. I|is was
a|out t|:cc uct:cs lo:g a:c glucc i:to a loo¡. l:io:uatio: o: t|c lic statcc t|at t|c iilu was callcc
M.· u.!!e. W|o t|is \:s lollc was :o o:c |:cw, |ut latc: it tu::cc out t|at s|c was a ¡o¡ula:
cquivalc:t oi t|c Gocccss oi lovc i: \ccitc::a:ca: cou:t:ics.
I|c :cxt uo::i:g l :ct:catcc i:to t|c s¡acious wa:c:o|c i: t|c :u:sc:,, ¡laccc t|c
ci:cuatog:a¡| o: a suga: c:atc, lit t|c ¡a:aiii: lau¡ a:c ci:cctcc t|c |cau oi lig|t o: to t|c
w|itcwas|cc wall. I|c: l loaccc t|c iilu.
A ¡ictu:c oi a ucacow a¡¡ca:cc o: t|c wall. Aslcc¡ i: t|c ucacow was a ,ou:g woua:
a¡¡a:c:tl, wca:i:g :atio:al costuuc. 1|e- i ·o.-e1 ·|e |o-1!e!. lt is iu¡ossi|lc to ccsc:i|c t|is. l
ca:`t ii:c wo:cs to cx¡:css u, cxcitcuc:t. lut at a:, tiuc l ca: :ccall t|c sucll oi t|c |ot uctal,
t|c scc:t oi uot||alls a:c cust i: t|c wa:c:o|c, t|c iccl oi t|c c:a:| agai:st u, |a:c. l ca: scc t|c
t:cu|li:g :ccta:glc o: t|c wall. l tu::cc t|c |a:clc a:c t|c gi:l wo|c u¡, sat u¡, slowl, got u¡,
st:ctc|cc |c: a:us out, swu:g :ou:c a:c cisa¡¡ca:cc to t|c :ig|t. li l wc:t o: tu::i:g, s|c woulc
agai: lic t|c:c, t|c: ua|c cxactl, t|c sauc uovcuc:ts all ovc: agai:. :|e «o· ¬.·.-¸.

!
·|ilc|ooc i: t|c g:acc a:c iavou: ¡a:so:agc oi ·o¡|ia|cuuct, t|c cvc:,ca, :|,t|u, |i:t|ca,s,
c|u:c| icstivals, ·u:ca,s. Dutics, gaucs, i:cccou, co:io:uit, a:c sccu:it,. I|c lo:g, ca:| wa, to
sc|ool i: wi:tc:, t|c gaucs oi ua:|lcs a:c |ic,clc :iccs i: s¡:i:g, a:c :caci:g alouc |, t|c ii:c o:
autuu: ·u:ca, cvc:i:gs.
Wc cic:`t |:ow \ot|c: |ac go:c t|:oug| a ¡assio:atc lovc aiiai: o: t|at lat|c: suiic:cc i:ou
scvc:c cc¡:cssio:. \ot|c: was ¡:c¡a:i:g to |:ca| out oi |c: ua::iagc, lat|c: t|:catc:i:g to ta|c
|is ow: liic. I|c, wc:c :cco:cilcc a:c ccciccc to co:ti:uc togct|c: io: t|c sa|c oi t|c c|ilc:c:`,
as was saic at t|c tiuc. Wc :oticcc :ot|i:g, o: vc:, littlc.
·:c autuu: cvc:i:g, l was |us, wit| u, iilu a¡¡a:atus i: t|c :u:sc:,. \, sistc: was aslcc¡ i:
\ot|c:`s :oou a:c u, |:ot|c: was out ¡:actisi:g s|ooti:g. l succc:l, |ca:c a violc:t a:guuc:t
goi:g o: cow:stai:s, \ot|c: c:,i:g a:c lat|c: tal|i:g a:g:il,, i:ig|tc:i:g sou:cs l |ac :cvc: |ca:c
|cio:c. l c:c¡t out o: to t|c stai:s a:c saw \ot|c: a:c lat|c: i: violc:t altc:catio: i: t|c |all,
\ot|c: t:,i:g to ¡ull |c: coat towa:cs |c:, |ut lat|c: |olci:g ii:ul, o: to it. I|c:, s|c lct go oi
t|c coat a:c :us|cc towa:cs t|c ¡o:c|. lat|c: got t|c:c |cio:c |c: a:c, ¡us|i:g |c: asicc, stooc i:
i:o:t oi t|c coo:. \ot|c: wc:t io: |iu a:c t|c, st:ugglcc. ·|c st:uc| |iu i: t|c iacc, |c t|:cw |c:
agai:st t|c wall a:c s|c lost |c: |ala:cc a:c icll. \, sistc: wo|c i: t|c tuuult, cauc out o:to t|c
la:ci:g a:c |cga: to c:,. \ot|c: a:c lat|c: sto¡¡cc.
l ca:`t :cucu|c: clca:l, w|at |a¡¡c:cc :cxt. \ot|c: was sitti:g o: t|c soia i: |c: :oou, |c:
:osc |lccci:g. ·|c was t:,i:g to calu u, sistc:. l was i: t|c :u:sc:, loo|i:g at u, ci:cuatog:a¡|.
l icll ¡at|cticall, to u, |:ccs a:c ¡:ouiscc Goc |c coulc |avc u, iilus a:c all u, a¡¡a:atus as
lo:g as \ot|c: a:c lat|c: |ccauc i:ic:cs agai:.
\, ¡:a,c:s wc:c |ca:c. I|c lasto: oi lccvig llco:o:a ¡a:is| ;lat|c:`s su¡c:io:, i:tc:vc:cc,
u, ¡a:c:ts wc:c :cco:cilcc, a:c t|c iuuc:scl, :ic| Au:t A::a too| t|cu oii o: a lo:g |olica,
t:i¡ t|:oug| ltal,. G:a:cuot|c: stc¡¡cc i:, a:c o:cc: a:c t|c illusio: oi sccu:it, wc:c :csto:cc.
G:a:cuot|c: livcc uostl, i: u¡sala, |ut s|c ow:cc a cou:t:, |ousc u¡ i: Dala::a. W|c:
wicowcc at sca:ccl, t|i:t,, s|c civiccc t|c |a:csouc a¡a:tuc:t i: I:acga:csgata: i: |ali a:c
uovcc i:to iivc :oous, a |itc|c: a:c a uaic`s :oou. W|c: l was vc:, ,ou:g, s|c livcc t|c:c alo:c
wit| \iss lllc: :ilsso:, a tiuclcss uo:uuc:t to t|c c|a:actc: oi t|c ·uala:c :cgio:, w|o coo|cc
gooc iooc, was stc::l, :cligious a:c s¡oilt us c|ilc:c:. W|c: G:a:cuot|c: cicc, s|c cauc to
\ot|c:, a:c was |ot| lovcc a:c ica:cc. At t|c agc oi scvc:t,iivc, s|c was aiilictcc wit| ca:cc: oi
t|c t|:oat, ticicc |c: :oou, w:otc |c: Will, c|a:gcc t|c scco:cclass tic|ct \ot|c: |ac ¡u:c|ascc
io: |c: to t|i:cclass a:c wc:t to |c: sistc:`s i: la:a|olu, w|c:c s|c cicc a icw uo:t|s latc:.
·allcc lalla` |, us c|ilc:c:, lllc: :ilsso: |ac livcc wit| G:a:cuot|c:`s a:c \ot|c:`s iauilics io:
ovc: iiit, ,ca:s.
G:a:cuot|c: a:c lalla cxistcc i: uooc, uutual cc¡c:cc:cc, w|ic| c:tailcc a g:cat ccal oi
stc¡¡i:g ovc: t|c ua:| a:c t|c: ua|i:g u¡, |ut :o:c oi t|is was cvc: qucstio:cc. Io uc, t|c la:gc
;¡c:|a¡s :ot t|at la:gc, a¡a:tuc:t i: t|c quict oi I:acga:csgata:, was t|c c¡itouc oi sccu:it, a:c
uagic. t|c :uuc:ous cloc|s ucasu:i:g t|c tiuc, t|c su:lig|t wa:cc:i:g ac:oss t|c i:ii:itc g:cc: oi
t|c ca:¡cts, t|c ii:cs i:ag:a:t i: t|c tilcc stovcs, t|c c|iu:c, ¡i¡c :oa:i:g a:c t|c littlc stovccoo:s
ti:|li:g. Dow: i: t|c st:cct, a slcig| wit| its |i:gli:g |clls souctiucs ¡asscc, t|c cat|cc:al |clls
:a:g io: civi:c sc:vicc o: a iu:c:al a:c, uo::i:g a:c cvc:i:g, t|c cclicatc a:c cista:t Gu:illa |cll
coulc |c |ca:c.
·lc iu::itu:c, |cav, cu:tai:s, ciu ¡ictu:cs. At t|c c:c oi t|c lo:g ca:| |all was a: i:tc:csti:g
:oou wit| iou: |olcs |o:cc i: t|c coo: :ca: t|c iloo:, :cc wall¡a¡c:, a ua|oga:,a:c¡lus|
t|:o:c li|c c|ai: wit| |:ass iitti:gs a:c o::auc:tatio:s. Iwo stc¡s covc:cc wit| soit ca:¡cti:g lcc
u¡ to t|c t|:o:c a:c, w|c: ,ou o¡c:cc t|c |cav, lic oi t|c c|ai:, ,ou sta:cc cow: i:to a c|asu oi
ca:|:css a:c ocou:s. ·ou:agc was :cqui:cc to sit o: G:a:cuot|c:`s t|:o:c.
A tall i:o: stovc i: t|c |all gavc oii its ow: s¡ccial sucll oi |u::i:g coal a:c |ot uctal. W|c:
lalla ¡:c¡a:cc ci::c: i: t|c |itc|c:, a :ou:is|i:g ca||agc sou¡, t|c i:ag:a:cc s¡:cac wa:ul,
t|:oug|out t|c a¡a:tuc:t a:c uc:gcc i:to a |ig|c: u:io: wit| t|c vaguc scc:ts i:ou t|c scc:ct
:oou.
lo: souco:c suall wit| |is :osc closc to t|c g:ou:c, t|c :ugs suclt i:cs| a:c st:o:g oi t|c
uot|¡:ooii:g t|c, a|so:|cc as t|c, la, :ollcc u¡ t|:oug|out t|c suuuc: uo:t|s. lvc:, l:ica,,
lalla ¡olis|cc t|c olc ¡a:quct iloo: wit| |ccswax a:c tu:¡c:ti:c, a: ovc:¡owc:i:g a:oua. I|c
|:ottcc a:c s¡li:tc:, woocc: iloo:s suclt oi soitsoa¡, a:c t|c li:olcuu was ¡olis|cc wit| a: cvil
suclli:g uixtu:c oi sou: s|iuucc uil| a:c watc:. lco¡lc wc:t a:ou:c li|c s,u¡|o:ics oi suclls
¡owcc:, ¡c:iuuc, ta:soa¡, u:i:c, scx, swcat, ¡ouacc, s:uii a:c coo|i:g. ·ouc suclt oi
|uua: |ci:gs i: gc:c:al, souc suclt saic, ot|c:s uc:aci:g. lat|c:`s iat Au:t luua wo:c a wig
w|ic| s|c stuc| o: to |c: |alc ¡atc wit| a s¡ccial |i:c oi gluc. All oi Au:t luua suclt oi gluc.
G:a:cuot|c: suclt oi gl,cc:i:c a:c :oscwatc:`, a lotio: |oug|t a:tlcssl, at t|c c|cuist`s.
\ot|c: suclt swcct li|c va:illa, a:c w|c: s|c was c:oss |c: cow:, uoustac|c tu::cc uoist a:c
gavc oii a sca:ccl, ¡c:cc¡ti|lc ocou: oi uctal. \, iavou:itc sucll was oi a ¡luu¡ :cc|ai:cc ,ou:g
:u:scuaic callcc \a:it, w|o was lauc. I|c |cst t|i:g i: t|c wo:lc was to lic o: |c: a:u i: |c: |cc
wit| u, :osc ¡:csscc agai:st |c: coa:sc :ig|tgow:.
A su:|c: wo:lc oi lig|ts, ocou:s a:c sou:cs. Ioca,, ii l au calu a:c |ust a|out to iall aslcc¡, l
ca: go i:ou :oou to :oou a:c scc cvc:, cctail, |:ow a:c iccl it. l: t|c quict:css oi
G:a:cuot|c:`s |ouc, u, sc:scs o¡c:cc a:c ccciccc to |cc¡ all t|is io: cvc: a:c cvc:. W|c:c |as
cvc:,t|i:g go:c· lavc a:, oi u, c|ilc:c: i:|c:itcc t|c iu¡:cssio:s oi u, sc:scs· ·a: o:c i:|c:it
iu¡:cssio:s oi sc:scs, cx¡c:ic:ccs, i:sig|ts·
I|c ca,s, wcc|s a:c uo:t|s s¡c:t wit| u, uatc::al g:a:cuot|c: g:atiiicc u, co:sta:t a:c
iu¡o:tu:atc :ccc io: silc:cc, :cgula:it, a:c o:cc:. l ¡la,cc u, solita:, gaucs wit| :o ccsi:c io:
cou¡a:,, w|ilc G:a:cuot|c: sat at |c: ccs| i: t|c ci:i:g :oou, clac i: |lac|, a la:gc |luc a:c
w|itc st:i¡cc a¡:o: o: to¡. ·|c :cac a |oo|, o: cic accou:ts o: w:otc lcttc:s, |c: stccl :i|
sc:atc|i:g iai:tl,. lalla woulc |c i: t|c |itc|c:, |uuui:g quictl, to |c:scli. l lca:t ovc: u, to,
t|cat:c, lctti:g t|c cu:tai: :isc volu¡tuousl, o: kcc kici:g looc`s ca:| io:cst o: ·i:cc:clla`s
|:ig|t |all:oou, u, gaucs ua|i:g uc :ulc: oi t|c stagc, u, iuagi:atio: ¡o¡ulati:g it.
·:c ·u:ca, l go cow: wit| a so:c t|:oat so l au cxcuscc uo::i:g sc:vicc a:c lcit alo:c i: t|c
a¡a:tuc:t. lt is ca:l, s¡:i:g a:c t|c su:lig|t |cc¡s coui:g a:c goi:g wit| swiit sou:clcss
uovcuc:ts ovc: t|c cu:tai:s a:c ¡ictu:cs. I|c |ugc ci:i:g:oou ta|lc towc:s a|ovc uc as l sit
wit| u, |ac| agai:st o:c oi its |ulgi:g lcgs. I|c c|ai:s :ou:c t|c ta|lc a:c t|c walls a:c covc:cc
wit| ,cllow lcat|c:, ca:|c:cc wit| agc a:c suclli:g olc. I|c sicc|oa:c :iscs io:t:css li|c |c|i:c
uc, t|c ca:aics a:c cutglass |owls gliuuc:i:g i: t|c c|a:gi:g lig|t. Alo:g t|c lo:g wall o: u,
lcit |a:gs a la:gc ¡ictu:c oi w|itc, ,cllow a:c :cc |ouscs g:owi:g out oi |luc watc:, a:c o|lo:g
|oats iloati:g o: t|c watc:.
I|c ci:i:g:oou cloc|, w|ic| :iscs to t|c o::auc:tal ccili:g, is tal|i:g to itscli i: a uo:osc a:c
i:t:ovc:tcc wa,. l:ou w|c:c l au sitti:g, l ca: scc t|c s|iuuc:i:g g:cc: oi t|c c:awi:g :oou,
g:cc: walls, :ugs, iu::itu:c, cu:tai:s, a:c ic::s i: g:cc: ¡ots. l ca: scc t|c :a|cc w|itc lac, wit|
|c: a:us c|o¡¡cc oii. ·|c is lca:i:g slig|tl, io:wa:c, loo|i:g at uc wit| a suall suilc. A gilt cloc|
u:cc: a glass couc sta:cs o: t|c |ulgi:g |u:cau wit| its golc iitti:gs a:c icct, a ,ou:g ua: lca:s
agai:st t|c cloc| iacc, ¡la,i:g a ilutc, closc to |iu is a littlc lac, i: a |ig |at a:c a s|o:t wicc s|i:t.
lot| oi t|cu a:c gilccc. W|c: t|c cloc| st:i|cs twclvc, t|c ,ou:g ua: ¡la,s |is ilutc a:c t|c gi:l
ca:ccs.
I|c su:lig|t tu::s iic:,, lig|ti:g u¡ t|c ¡:isus i: t|c c|a:cclic:, swcc¡i:g ovc: t|c ¡ictu:c oi
|ouscs g:owi:g out oi t|c watc: a:c ca:cssi:g t|c w|itc:css oi t|c statuc. I|c: t|c cloc|s st:i|c,
t|c golcc: gi:l ca:ccs, t|c |o, ¡la,s, t|c :a|cc lac, tu::s |c: |cac a:c :ocs at uc a:c Dcat| c:ags
|is sc,t|c ac:oss t|c li:olcuu i: t|c ca:| ¡o:c|. l ca: |ust scc |iu, |is suili:g ,cllow s|ull a:c ca:|
ga:gli:g iigu:c agai:st t|c ¡a:cs oi glass i: t|c i:o:t coo:.
l wa:t to scc G:a:cuot|c:`s iacc, so l |u:t out a ¡|otog:a¡|, a ¡ictu:c oi u, g:a:ciat|c: t|c
I:a:s¡o:t \a:agc:, wit| G:a:cuot|c: a:c |c: t|:cc stc¡so:s. G:a:ciat|c: is loo|i:g at |is ,ou:g
|:icc wit| ¡:icc. lis ca:| |ca:c is wclltc:ccc, |is ¡i:cc:cz golci:aucc, |is colla: |ig| a:c |is
uo::i:g suit iu¡ccca|lc. lis so:s |avc c:aw: t|cusclvcs u¡, ,ou:g uc: wit| wavc:i:g c,cs a:c
wca| icatu:cs. l ictc| a uag:ii,i:g glass a:c stuc, G:a:cuot|c:`s icatu:cs. lc: c,cs a:c ¡alc |ut
s|a:¡, |c: iacc ¡luu¡l, :ou:c, |c: c|i: stu||o:: a:c uout| cctc:ui:cc, ccs¡itc t|c ¡olitc stucio
suilc. lc: |ai: is t|ic| a:c ca:|, ca:ciull, a::a:gcc. l coulc:`t sa, s|c was |cautiiul, |ut s|c
:aciatcs st:c:gt| oi will, i:tclligc:cc a:c |uuou:.
I|c :cwl, wccs givc t|c iu¡:cssio: oi wclltoco scliassu:a:cc. wc |avc accc¡tcc ou: :olcs
a:c wc i:tc:c to act t|cu out. lut t|c so:s sccu ciso:ic:tatcc, o¡¡:csscc, ¡c:|a¡s cvc:
:c|cllious.
G:a:ciat|c: |ac |uilt a suuuc: |ousc at Dui:a`s, o:c oi t|c uost |cautiiul ¡laccs i: Dala::a,
wit| its wicc vicw ovc: t|c :ivc:, t|c |cat|la:cs, out|a::s a:c |ills, |luc |c,o:c t|c |ills. lc
lovcc t:ai:s a:c t|c :ailwa, li:c :a: t|:oug| |is la:c, alo:g a slo¡c a |u:c:cc uct:cs |clow t|c
|ousc. lc coulc sit o: |is vc:a:ca a:c tiuc t|c cig|t t:ai:s, iou: i: cac| ci:cctio:, two oi t|cu
goocs t:ai:s. lc coulc also scc t|c :ailwa, |:icgc ac:oss t|c :ivc:, a uastc:¡iccc oi c:gi:cc:i:g, |is
¡:icc a:c |o,. lt is saic t|at l sat o: |is |:cc, |ut l |avc :o ucuo:, oi |iu. l |avc i:|c:itcc u,
a:glcc littlc ii:gc:s i:ou |iu, a:c ¡ossi|l, u, c:t|usiasu io: stcau c:gi:cs.
·o G:a:cuot|c: was wicowcc ca:l,. ·|c wo:c |lac| a:c |c: |ai: tu::cc w|itc. I|c c|ilc:c:
ua::icc, lcit |ouc a:c s|c was lcit alo:c wit| lalla. \ot|c: o:cc tolc uc t|at G:a:cuot|c: :cvc:
lovcc a:,o:c, cxcc¡t |c: ,ou:gcst so:, l::st. \ot|c: t:icc to gai: |c: lovc |, :cscu|li:g |c: i:
cvc:, ¡ossi|lc wa, |ut, |ci:g a soitc: |i:c oi ¡c:so:, s|c iailcc.
lat|c: ccsc:i|cc G:a:cuot|c: as a coui:cc:i:g |itc|, a:c |c was cc:tai:l, :ot alo:c i: t|at
|ucgcuc:t.
Dcs¡itc t|is, t|c |cst tiucs oi u, c|ilc|ooc wc:c wit| G:a:cuot|c:. ·|c t:catcc uc wit| a
|a:s| tc:cc::css a:c i:tuitivc u:cc:sta:ci:g. Auo:g ot|c: t|i:gs, wc |ac ¡c:icctcc a :itual, at
w|ic| s|c :cvc: iailcc uc. lcio:c ci::c:, wc sat cow: o: |c: g:cc: soia, w|c:c wc ciscusscc`
t|i:gs io: a|out a: |ou:. G:a:cuot|c: tolc uc a|out t|c Wo:lc, a|out liic, |ut also a|out Dcat|
;w|ic| was occu¡,i:g u, t|oug|ts a gooc ccal at t|c tiuc,. ·|c wa:tcc to |:ow w|at l t|oug|t.
·|c listc:cc ca:ciull,, saw t|:oug| u, ii|s o: |:us|cc t|cu asicc wit| i:ic:cl, i:o:,. ·|c allowcc
uc to |avc u, sa, as a :cal ¡c:so: i: u, ow: :ig|t wit|out cauouilagc.
·u: ciscussio:s` wc:c alwa,s c:vclo¡cc i: twilig|t, i:tiuac, a:c wi:tc: aitc::oo:s.
G:a:cuot|c: |ac a:ot|c: cclig|tiul qualit,. ·|c lovcc goi:g to t|c uovics`, a:c ii c|ilc:c:
wc:c allowcc to scc t|c iilu s|c too| uc alo:g. I|c:c was o:l, o:c cistu:|i:g clcuc:t i: ou: |o,.
G:a:cuot|c: ¡osscsscc a tc::i|lc ¡ai: oi galos|cs a:c s|c cic:`t li|c lovc scc:cs, w|ic| l aco:cc.
W|c: t|c |c:o a:c |c:oi:c, c:clcssl, a:c cxccssivcl, la:guis|i:g, gavc cx¡:cssio: to t|ci:
cuotio:s, G:a:cuot|c:`s galos|cs sta:tcc to squca|. I|c g|astl, sou:c iillcc t|c w|olc ci:cua.
Wc :cac alouc to cac| ot|c:, wc i:vc:tcc sto:ics, cs¡cciall, g|ost sto:ics o: ot|c: |o::o:s, a:c
wc also c:cw ¡co¡lc`, a |i:c oi sc:ial. ·:c oi us sta:tcc |, c:awi:g a ¡ictu:c, t|c: t|c ot|c:
co:ti:ucc wit| t|c :cxt ¡ictu:c a:c t|us t|c actio: ccvclo¡cc. Wc c:cw actio:s` io: scvc:al ca,s.
I|c, coulc auou:t to io:t, o: iiit, ¡ictu:cs, a:c i: |ctwcc: t|c ¡ictu:cs wc w:otc cx¡la:ato:,
tcxts.
Doucstic :outi:c at I:acga:csgata: was oi tiuc|o:ou:cc o:cc:li:css. W|c: t|c ii:cs wc:c lit
i: t|c tilcc stovcs, wc got u¡. I|c: it was scvc: o`cloc|. A :u|cow: i: a ti: |at| i: ic, colc watc:,
|:ca|iast oi ¡o::icgc a:c |a:c c:is¡ |:cac o¡c: sa:cwic|cs, uo::i:g ¡:a,c:s, |oucwo:| o: lcsso:s
su¡c:viscc |, G:a:cuot|c:. At o:c o`cloc| wc |ac aitc::oo: tca a:c sa:cwic|cs. I|c: out i: all
wcat|c:s. A wal| to scc w|at t|c ci:cuas uig|t |c s|owi:g. Di::c: at iivc o`cloc|. Ia|c out t|c
olc to,s, ¡:csc:vcc si:cc u:clc l::st`s c|ilc|ooc. kcaci:g alouc. lvc:i:g ¡:a,c:s. I|c Gu:illa
|cll :i:gi:g. At :i:c o`cloc| it was :ig|t.
l,i:g o: t|c littlc couc| listc:i:g to t|c silc:cc, scci:g t|c |cau i:ou t|c st:cctlau¡ t|:owi:g
lig|t a:c s|acc o: t|c ccili:g. W|c: s:owsto:us swc¡t ac:oss t|c u¡sala ¡lai:, t|c lau¡ swu:g,
t|c s|acows i:tc:twi:cc a:c t|c:c was a squca|i:g a:c :cvclli:g i: t|c tilcc stovc.
·: ·u:ca,s, wc |ac ci::c: at iou: o`cloc| a:c t|at was w|c: Au:t lottc: cauc. ·|c livcc i: a
|ouc io: olc uissio:a:ics a:c |ac |cc: to t|c sauc |ig| sc|ool as G:a:cuot|c:, i:ou w|ic| t|c,
wc:c auo:g t|c ii:st wouc: i: t|c cou:t:, to g:acuatc. Au:t lottc: wc:t to ·|i:a, lost ª|c:
loo|s, |c: tcct| a:c o:c c,c.
G:a:cuot|c: |:cw l t|oug|t Au:t lottc: was cisgusti:g, |ut s|c |clicvcc l oug|t to |c
|a:cc:cc, so l was ¡laccc |csicc Au:t lottc: at ·u:ca, ci::c:. l coulc scc st:aig|t u¡ i:to |c:
|ai:, :osc, a:c i:sicc |c: :ost:il t|c:c was alwa,s a g:cc:is|,cllow |lo| oi s:ot. ·|c also suclt oi
c:icc ¡cc. lc: ialsc tcct| clattc:cc w|c: s|c s¡o|c a:c s|c |clc |c: ¡latc closc to |c: iacc a:c
slu:¡cc w|c: s|c atc, a su|cucc g:owli:g souctiucs :isi:g i:ou |c: stouac|.
I|is :cvolti:g ¡c:so: ow:cc a t:casu:c. Aitc: ci::c: a:c coiicc, s|c u:¡ac|cc a ·|i:csc
s|acow t|cat:c i:ou a ,cllow woocc: |ox. A s|cct was st:ctc|cc ac:oss t|c coo:wa, |ctwcc: t|c
c:awi:g :oou a:c t|c ci:i:g :oou, t|c lig|t was tu::cc out a:c Au:t lottc: ¡c:io:ucc |c:
s|acow ¡la,. ·|c uust |avc |cc: vc:, s|iliul, io: s|c ua:i¡ulatcc scvc:al iigu:cs siuulta:cousl,
a:c actcc all t|c ¡a:ts. li:st t|c sc:cc: woulc tu:: :cc o: |luc, succc:l, a ccuo: woulc |u:tlc
t|:oug| t|c :cc, a t|i: uoo: woulc a¡¡ca: agai:st t|c |luc, t|c: all at o:cc cvc:,t|i:g was g:cc:
a:c auazi:g iis| wc:c uovi:g i: t|c cc¡t|s oi t|c sca.
I|c u:clcs souctiucs cauc o: a visit, wit| t|ci: tc::ii,i:g wivcs. I|c uc: wc:c iat, |ac |ca:cs
a:c s¡o|c i: louc voiccs. I|c wouc: |ac |ig |ats a:c sta:| oi swcat,
oiiicious:css. l |clc u, |:cat| as uuc| as l coulc. l was liitcc u¡, |uggcc, |isscc. l was ¡i:c|cc a:c
:i¡¡cc. l was also t|c |utt oi i:tiuatc qucstio:s. las t|c |o, wct |iuscli t|is wcc|· kat|c: a lot oi
t|at last wcc|, was t|c:c :ot· ·¡c: ,ou: uout| a:c lct uc scc ii ,ou`vc got a loosc toot|. lc:c
wc a:c, :aug|t, t|i:g, s|all wc ¡ull it out· You`ll gct tc: o:c. l t|i:| t|c |o,`s ccvclo¡i:g a squi:t.
loo| at u, littlc ii:gc:, ,cs, o:c c,c is:`t iollowi:g. You`ll |avc to wca: a ¡atc| li|c a ¡i:atc. ·|ut
,ou: uout|, luttc, ,ou ga¡c too uuc|. Acc:oics, l assuuc. lco¡lc loo| stu¡ic wit| t|ci: uout|s
o¡c:. You: g:a:cuot|c: will |avc to a::a:gc io: a: o¡c:atio:. lt`s |ac io: ,ou to go a:ou:c wit|
,ou: uout| o¡c:.
I|c, uovcc |c:|il, a:c gla:ccc a:ou:c aw|wa:cl,. I|c wivcs suo|cc a:c i: G:a:cuot|c:`s
¡:csc:cc t|c, ¡c:s¡i:cc wit| a:xict,, t|ci: voiccs s|a:¡ a:c quic|, t|ci: iaccs ¡ai:tcc. I|c, cic:`t
loo| li|c \ot|c:, alt|oug| t|c, wc:c uot|c:s.
u:clc ·a:l, |owcvc:, was ciiic:c:t.

!
u:clc ·a:l was sitti:g o: G:a:cuot|c:`s g:cc: soia, t|c :cci¡ic:t oi |c: :c¡:oac|cs. lc was a
|ig iat ua: wit| a |ig| io:c|cac, w|ic| at t|is ¡a:ticula: uouc:t was c:cascc wit| wo::,. lis |cac
was |alc wit| |:ow: s¡ots a:c a icw t|i: cu:ls at t|c :a¡c oi |is :cc|. lis |ai:, ca:s wc:c :cc. lis
:ou:c stouac| |ulgcc ovc: |is t|ig|s a:c |is glasscs |c¡t uisti:g ovc: wit| uoistu:c, |ici:g |is
uilc violct|luc c,cs. lc was |olci:g |is soit iat |a:cs ¡:csscc togct|c: |ctwcc: |is |:ccs.
G:a:cuot|c: sat suall a:c st:aig|t i: t|c a:uc|ai: |, t|c c:awi:g:oou ta|lc, a t|iu|lc o: |c:
:ig|t io:cii:gc:, occasio:all, cu¡|asizi:g a wo:c |, st:i|i:g t|c t|iu|lc o: t|c s|i:, ta|lcto¡. As
usual, s|c was i: |lac|, wit| a w|itc colla: a:c a cauco |:ooc|. lc: cvc:,ca, a¡:o: was |luc a:c
w|itc st:i¡cc, a:c |c: t|ic| w|itc |ai: was s|i:i:g i: a :a, oi su:lig|t. lt was a colc wi:tc:`s ca,,
t|c ii:c :oa:i:g i: t|c stovc a:c t|c wi:cows sta::cc wit| i:ost, ilowc:s. I|c cloc| u:cc: its glass
couc st:uc| twclvc s|a:¡ :otcs a:c t|c s|c¡|c:ccss ca:ccc io: |c: s|c¡|c:c. A slcig| ¡asscc
t|:oug| t|c c:t:a:cc ¡o:c| wa,, |clls |i:gli:g, its :u::c:s sc:a¡i:g agai:st t|c co||lcsto:cs, t|c
|cav, |oovcs cc|oi:g.
l was sitti:g o: t|c iloo: i: a: ac|oi:i:g :oou. u:clc ·a:l a:c l |ac |ust laic out t|c :ailwa,
li:cs io: t|c t:ai: l |ac |ac io: ·|:istuas i:ou t|c iuuc:scl, :ic| Au:t A::a. G:a:cuot|c: |ac
succc:l, a¡¡ca:cc i: t|c coo:wa, a:c suuuo:cc u:clc ·a:l i: a cu:t a:c c|ill, voicc. lc |ac got
u¡, sig|i:g, ¡ut o: |is |ac|ct a:c st:aig|tc:cc |is waistcoat ac:oss |is stouac|. I|c, |ac go:c to sit
i: t|c c:awi:g :oou. G:a:cuot|c: |ac closcc t|c coo:, |ut it |ac slic o¡c:. l coulc iollow
cvc:,t|i:g, as ii t|c, wc:c o: a stagc.
G:a:cuot|c: was s¡ca|i:g a:c u:clc ·a:l was ¡outi:g |is |luis|:cc li¡s, |is g:cat |cac
si:|i:g lowc: a:c lowc: |ctwcc: |is s|oulcc:s. u:clc ·a:l was :call, o:l, a |aliu:clc, as |c was
G:a:cuot|c:`s clccst stc¡so: :ot all t|at uuc| ,ou:gc: t|a: s|c.
G:a:cuot|c: was |is gua:cia:. lc was soit i: t|c |cac, i:ca¡a|lc oi loo|i:g aitc: |iuscli, a:c
souctiucs |c wc:t i:to a: as,luu, |ut |c uostl, livcc as a ¡a,i:g gucst wit| two uicclcagcc
lacics, |:ow: as Au:t lcca a:c Au:t lstc:, w|o ca:cc io: |iu i: cvc:, wa,. lc was as ccvotcc
a:c gc:tlc as a la:gc cog, |ut :ow |c |ac go:c too ia:. ·:c uo::i:g |c |ac couc :us|i:g out oi
|is :oou wit|out cit|c: lo:g u:cc:¡a:ts o: t:ousc:s, a:c |ac violc:tl, cu|:accc Au:t lcca wit| a
s|owc: oi |isscs a:c iu¡:o¡c: wo:cs. Au:t lcca |ac :ot ¡a:ic|cc |ut |ac calul, :i¡¡cc u:clc
·a:l i: t|c :ig|t ¡lacc, |ust as t|c cocto: |ac :ccouuc:ccc. I|c: s|c |ac tclc¡|o:cc
G:a:cuot|c:.
u:clc ·a:l was all a:guis| a:c tca:s. lc was a ua: oi ¡cacc. lc wc:t to t|c \issio: ·|u:c|
cvc:, ·u:ca, wit| Au:t lstc: a:c Au:t lcca a:c, i: |is :cat ca:| suit, wit| |is gc:tlc loo|s a:c |is
uclocious |a:ito:c voicc, |c uig|t aluost |avc |cc: o:c oi t|c ¡:cac|c:s. lc |cl¡cc wit| all t|c
a¡¡:o¡:iatc activitics, a |i:c oi u:¡aic vc:gc:, a:c was loo|cc o: wit| a¡¡:oval at coiicc ¡a:tics
a:c scwi:g |ccs, at w|ic| |c :cac alouc w|ilc t|c lacics ccvotcc t|cusclvcs to t|ci: |a:ciwo:|.
u:clc ·a:l was :call, a: i:vc:to:. lc |csicgcc t|c ko,al latc:t ·iiicc wit| c:awi:gs a:c
ccsc:i¡tio:s, |ut wit| littlc succcss. ·ut oi a |u:c:cc o: so a¡¡licatio:s, o:l, two wc:c a¡¡:ovcc,
a uac|i:c t|at uacc all ¡otatocs t|c sauc sizc a:c a: autouatic lavato:, |:us|.
u:clc ·a:l was cxt:cucl, sus¡icious. lc was |o::i|l, a:xious t|at souco:c uig|t stcal |is
latcst iccas, so |c ca::icc t|cu a|out i: a: oilclot| w:a¡¡c: |ctwcc: |is t:ousc:s a:c lo:g
u:cc:¡a:ts. I|c oilclot| was :cccssa:,, io: u:clc ·a:l suiic:cc i:ou u:i:oua:ia. ·ouctiucs,
cs¡cciall, at la:gc gat|c:i:gs, |c siu¡l, coulc:`t :csist |is scc:ct ¡assio:. lc woulc wi:c |is :ig|t
ioot :ou:c t|c lcg oi a c|ai:, |ali :isc to |is icct a:c allow |is t:ousc:s a:c u:cc:¡a:ts to |c soa|cc
t|:oug| wit| a gc:tlc sclii:cuccc ilooc.
G:a:cuot|c:, Au:t lstc: a:c Au:t lcca |:cw oi |is wca|:css a:c wc:c a|lc to cu:| |is :ccc
wit| a s|o:t s|a:¡ co.! |ut to |c: |o::o: \iss Agca |ac o:cc |ca:c a sizzli:g i:ou t|c |ot stovc.
·aug|t out, u:clc ·a:l c:icc. W|oo¡s, |c:c l au ua|i:g ¡a:ca|cs.`
l :cs¡cctcc |iu a:c willi:gl, |clicvcc Au:t ·ig:c, w|o uai:tai:cc t|at ·a:l |ac |cc: t|c uost
giitcc oi t|c t|:cc |:ot|c:s, |ut t|at out oi |calous, Al|c:t |ac st:uc| |is olcc: |:ot|c: o: t|c |cac
wit| a |auuc:, t|us causi:g a liiclo:g icc|lcui:ccc:css i: t|c ¡oo: |o,.
l acui:cc |iu |ccausc |c i:vc:tcc t|i:gs io: u, uagic la:tc:: a:c u, ci:cuatog:a¡|. lc
:c|uilt t|c slicc |olcc: a:c lc:s, uou:tcc a co:cavc ui::o: i:sicc, a:c t|c: wo:|cc awa, o: t|:cc
uo:c uova|lc ¡icccs oi glass, w|ic| |c |iuscli ¡ai:tcc. l: t|is wa,, |c c:catcc uo|ilc
|ac|g:ou:cs io: t|c iigu:cs. I|ci: :oscs g:cw, t|c, iloatcc, g|osts a¡¡ca:cc i:ou uoo:lit g:avcs,
s|i¡s sa:| a:c a c:ow:i:g uot|c: |clc |c: c|ilc a|ovc |c: |cac u:til |ot| wc:c swallowcc u¡ |,
t|c wavcs.
u:clc ·a:l |oug|t st:i¡s oi iilu at iivc o:c a uct:c, t|c: ¡ut t|cu i: |ot socawatc: to :cuovc
t|c cuulsio:. W|c: t|c st:i¡ |ac c:icc, |c c:cw uovi:g ¡ictu:cs ci:cctl, o: to t|c iilu wit|
l:cia: i:|. ·ouctiucs |c c:cw :o:iigu:ativc ¡attc::s t|at coulc |c t:a:sio:ucc, cx¡loci:g,
swclli:g a:c s|:i:|i:g.
lc sat, lca:i:g la|o:iousl, ovc: |is wo:|ta|lc i: t|c ovc: iu::is|cc :oou, t|c iilu l,i:g o: a
uatt s|cct oi glass illuui:atcc i:ou |clow, |is glasscs ¡us|cc u¡ o: |is io:c|cac a:c a uag:ii,i:g
glass wccgcc i:to |is :ig|t c,c. lc suo|cc a s|o:t c:oo|cc ¡i¡c a:c |c¡t a w|olc :ow oi siuila:
¡i¡cs, :cac, clca:cc a:c iillcc, i: i:o:t oi |iu o: t|c ta|lc. l sta:cc i:tc:tl, at t|c suall iigu:cs
cuc:gi:g swiitl, a:c wit|out |csitatio: i:ou t|c i:aucs. W|ilc u:clc ·a:l wo:|cc, |c c|attc:cc
awa,, ¡uiii:g o: |is ¡i¡c, tal|i:g a:c g:oa:i:g a:c ¡uiii:g.
lc:c`s Iccc, t|c ci:cus ¡ooclc coi:g a io:wa:c souc:sault. lt gocs ii:c. lc |:ows |ow to co
it. :ow t|c c:ucl :i:guastc: is ua|i:g t|c ¡oo: cog co a |ac|wa:c souc:sault Iccc, ca:`t co
it. lc |its |is |cac o: t|c :i:g a:c sccs su:s a:c sta:s. Wc`ll |avc a:ot|c: colou: io: t|c sta:s.
I|c,`:c :cc. :ow |c`s got a g:cat |uu¡ o: |is |cac. I|at`s :cc, too. l co:`t t|i:| Au:t lstc: a:c
Au:t lcca a:c at |ouc. Go i:to t|c ci:i:g :oou, o¡c: t|c littlc c:awc: o: t|c lcit oi t|c |uiict,
a:c i:sicc t|c:c`s a |ag oi c|ocolatc c:caus t|c,`vc |iccc: |ccausc \a sa,s l uust:`t cat swcct
t|i:gs. Ia|c iou: c|ocolatc c:caus, |ut ui:c t|c, co:`t catc| ,ou.`
l ca::icc out t|c assig:uc:t a:c was givc: o:c oi t|c c|ocolatc c:caus. lc stuiicc t|c ot|c:s
t|:oug| |is t|ic| li¡s, slavc:i:g s|i:il, at t|c co::c:s oi |is uout|, t|c: lca:t |ac| i: |is c|ai: a:c
¡cc:cc out at t|c g:c, wi:tc: cus|. l`ll s|ow ,ou souct|i:g,` |c saic succc:l,. lut ,ou uust:`t
tcll \a.` lc got u¡, wc:t ovc: to t|c ta|lc u:cc: t|c cc:t:al lau¡ a:c switc|cc it o:. I|c lig|t
s|o:c ,cllow o: t|c o:ic:tal ¡attc:: oi t|c ta|lcclot|. lc sat cow: a:c i:vitcc uc to sit o¡¡ositc
|iu. I|c: |c wou:c a ¡iccc oi t|c clot| :ou:c |is lcit w:ist, sta:ti:g cautiousl,, t|c: twisti:g a:c
tu::i:g uo:c a:c uo:c :oug|l,. li:all, |is |a:c a:c w:ist loosc:cc at t|c lcvcl oi t|c sta:c|cc cuii
a:c a icw c:o¡s oi a clouc, iluic iloatcc out o: to t|c ta|lcclot|. ·: so it sccucc.
l`vc got two suits. lvc:, l:ica, l`u tolc to go to ,ou: g:a:cuot|c:`s to c|a:gc u,
u:cc:clot|cs a:c suit. I|at`s go:c o: io: twc:t,:i:c ,ca:s. l |avc to stic| to it as ii l wc:c a c|ilc.
lt`s :ot iai:. Goc will ¡u:is| |c:. Goc ¡u:is|cs ¡owc: ¡co¡lc. loo| at t|at, t|c:c`s a ii:c i: t|c
|ousc o¡¡ositc.`
I|c wi:tc: su: |ac o¡c:cc a c:ac| i: t|c i:o:g:c, cloucs a:c was s|i:i:g ci:cctl, o: to t|c
wi:cow¡a:cs oi t|c |uilci:g o¡¡ositc i: Gaula Agata:, t|c :cilcctio:s t|:owi:g ca:| ,cllow
squa:cs ac:oss t|c ¡attc:: oi t|c wall¡a¡c: a:c |ali oi u:clc ·a:l`s iacc i: t|c glowi:g lig|t. I|c
cctac|cc` |a:c la, |ctwcc: us o: t|c ta|lc. ·: so it sccucc.
W|c: G:a:cuot|c: cicc, \ot|c: |ccauc ·a:l`s gua:cia:. lc was uovcc to ·toc||olu, w|c:c
|c :c:tcc two suall :oous i:ou a: clcc:l, l:cc ·|u:c| lac, w|o livcc i: ki:gvagc:, quitc :ca:
Go,|s,s:.
I|c :outi:c wc:t o:. lvc:, l:ica,, |c cauc to t|c ¡a:so:agc, was givc: clca: u:cc:clot|cs,
c|a:gcc i:to a s¡otlcss i:cs|l, ¡:csscc suit a:c |ac ci::c: wit| t|c iauil,. lis a¡¡ca:a:cc was
u:c|a:gcc, |is |oc, |ust as |cav, a:c :ou:c, |is iacc |ust as :os,, t|c violct|luc c,cs |ust as uilc
|c|i:c t|c t|ic| glasscs. lc wc:t o: i:cciatiga|l, |csicgi:g t|c latc:t ·iiicc wit| |is i:vc:tio:s
a:c, o: ·u:ca,s, |c sa:g |,u:s at t|c \issio: ·|u:c|. \ot|c: ua:agcc |is ii:a:ccs a:c |c was
givc: ¡oc|ctuo:c,. lc callcc \ot|c: ·istc: la:i:` a:c was occasio:all, i:o:ic a|out |c:
attcu¡ts to iuitatc G:a:cuot|c:. You`:c t:,i:g to |c ·tc¡uot|c:. Do sto¡ it. You`:c uuc| too
gooc:atu:cc. \auuc|c: was |a:c :ig|t t|:oug|.`
·:c l:ica,, u:clc ·a:l`s la:clac, a¡¡ca:cc a:c s|c a:c \ot|c: ca::icc o: a lo:g co:vc:satio:
togct|c:. I|c la:clac, wc¡t so loucl,, it was auci|lc t|:oug| scvc:al walls. Aitc: a: |ou: o: two,
s|c saic gooc|,c, |c: iacc swollc: a:c :cc i:ou c:,i:g. \ot|c: wc:t i:to t|c |itc|c: to lalla, sa:|
cow: o: a c|ai: a:c sta:tcc laug|i:g.
u:clc ·a:l,` s|c saic, |as got c:gagcc to souco:c t|i:t, ,ca:s ,ou:gc: t|a: |c is.`
A icw wcc|s latc:, t|c :cwl, c:gagcc cou¡lc cauc o: a visit. I|c, wa:tcc to tal| a|out t|c
ua::iagc cc:cuo:,, w|ic| i:cccc was to |c siu¡lc, |ut lig| ·|u:c|. u:clc ·a:l was c:csscc
casuall, i: s¡o:ts s|i:t a:c :o tic, a c|cc| |lazc: a:c wcll¡:csscc ila::cl t:ousc:s wit|out a s¡ot o:
t|cu. lc |ac cxc|a:gcc |is olcias|io:cc s¡cctaclcs io: uocc:: |o:::iuucc o:cs a:c |is
|utto:|oots io: loaic:s. lc was tacitu::, collcctcc a:c g:avc, :ot a wo:c oi .co:iusio: o:
|oistc:ous ilig|ts oi ia:c, csca¡i:g i:ou |iu.
lc |ac got t|c ¡ost oi vc:gc: at ·oiia ·|u:c|. lc |ac givc: u¡ i:vc:ti:g. lt was a: illusio:,
,ou scc, ·c|wcstc:c|c:.`
lis iia:ccc was |ust ovc: t|i:t,, t|i: a:c suall, wit| a:gula: s|oulcc:s a:c lo:g t|i: lcgs. ·|c
|ac |ig w|itc tcct|, ¡ilccu¡ |o:c,colou:cc |ai:, a lo:g s|a¡cl, :osc, a :a::ow uout| a:c :ou:c
c|i:. lc: c,cs wc:c ca:| |ut vc:, |:ig|t. ·|c :cga:ccc |c: iia:cc wit| all t|c tc:cc::css oi
¡osscssio:, a:c, as ii i: cist:actio:, |c: st:o:g |a:c :cstcc o: |is |:cc. ·|c was a g,u tcac|c:.
I|c liiclo:g gua:cia:s|i¡ was to ccasc. \, stc¡uot|c:`s vicw oi u, uc:tal statc was o:c oi
|c: illusio:s. ·|c was a ¡owc: ¡c:so:. ·|c |ac to |avc souco:c to coui:atc. ·c|wcstc:c|c: ca:
:cvc: |c li|c ·tc¡uot|c:, |owcvc: uuc| s|c t:ics. lt`s a: illusio:.`
lis iia:ccc loo|cc at t|c iauil, wit| |c: |:ig|t c,cs a:c saic :ot|i:g.
A icw uo:t|s latc: t|c c:gagcuc:t was |:o|c: oii. u:clc ·a:l uovcc |ac| to |is :oous i:
ki:gvagc: a:c sto¡¡cc |ci:g vc:gc: at ·oiia ·|u:c|. lc co:iiccc i: \ot|c: t|at |is iia:ccc |ac
t:icc to sto¡ |iu i:vc:ti:g. lt |ac all c:ccc i: sc:caus a:c scuiilcs. ·a:l |ac sc:atc|cs o: |is
c|cc|. l t|oug|t l coulc sto¡ i:vc:ti:g. lt was a: illusio:.`
\ot|c: agai: |ccauc |is gua:cia:. lvc:, l:ica,, u:clc ·a:l cauc to t|c ¡a:so:agc, c|a:gcc |is
suit a:c u:cc:clot|cs a:c |ac ci::c: wit| t|c iauil,. lis ccsi:c to ¡cc o: |iuscli i:c:cascc.
lc |ac a:ot|c: :at|c: uo:c ca:gc:ous |a|it. ·: |is wa, to t|c ko,al li|:a:, o: t|c ·it,
li|:a:,, w|c:c |c li|cc to s¡c:c |is ca,s, |c too| a s|o:t cut t|:oug| t|c :ailwa, tu::cl |c:cat|
sout|c:: ·toc||olu. Aitc: all, |c was t|c so: oi a t:a:s¡o:t c:gi:cc: w|o |ac |uilt t|c :ailwa,
|ctwcc: l:,l|o a:c l:s|o:, a:c |c lovcc t:ai:s. As t|c, t|u:cc:cc ¡ast |iu i: t|c tu::cl, |c
¡:csscc |iuscli agai:st t|c :oc|, wall, t|c sou:c iasci:atcc |iu, t|c a:cic:t :oc| s|uccc:cc, a:c
t|c cust a:c suo|c i:toxicatcc |iu.
I|c, iou:c |iu o:c s¡:i:g ca,, l,i:g |ctwcc: t|c t:ac|s wit| uulti¡lc i:|u:ics. l:sicc |is
t:ousc:s was t|c oilclot| iolcc: co:tai:i:g a ccsig: to iacilitatc t|c c|a:gi:g oi lig|t |ul|s i:
st:cctlau¡s.

+
W|c: l was twclvc, l was allowcc to accou¡a:, a uusicia: w|o was ¡la,i:g t|c ·clcstc
|ac|stagc i: ·t:i:c|c:g`s + Ð.eo¬ t!o,. lt was a sca:i:g cx¡c:ic:cc. :ig|t aitc: :ig|t, |iccc: i: t|c
¡:oscc:iuu towc:, l wit:csscc t|c ua::iagc scc:c |ctwcc: t|c Acvocatc a:c t|c Daug|tc:. lt was
t|c ii:st tiuc l |ac cx¡c:ic:ccc t|c uagic oi acti:g. I|c Acvocatc |clc a |ai:¡i: |ctwcc: |is
t|uu| a:c io:cii:gc:, |c twistcc it, st:aig|tc:cc it out a:c |:o|c it. 1|e.e «o· -. |o..¡.-, /o· i ·o«
.·. I|c ·iiicc: was |ac|stagc waiti:g io: |is c:t:a:cc, lca:i:g io:wa:c loo|i:g at |is s|ocs, |is
|a:cs |c|i:c |is |ac|. lc clca:cc |is t|:oat sou:clcssl,, a ¡c:icctl, o:ci:a:, ¡c:so:. I|c: |c
o¡c:cc t|c coo: a:c stc¡¡cc i:to t|c liuclig|t. lc was c|a:gcc, t:a:sio:ucc. |c «o· t|c ·iiicc:.
As l |a:|ou: a co:sta:t tuuult wit|i: uc a:c |avc to |cc¡ watc| ovc: it, l also suiic: ago:,
w|c: iaccc wit| t|c u:io:cscc:, t|c u:¡:ccicta|lc. I|c cxc:cisc oi u, ¡:oicssio: t|us |ccoucs a
¡cca:tic acui:ist:atio: oi t|c u:s¡ca|a|lc. l act as a: i:tc:uccia:,, o:ga:izi:g, :itualizi:g. I|c:c
a:c ¡:ocucc:s w|o ua|c t|ci: ow: c|aos a:c at |cst c:catc a ¡c:io:ua:cc i:ou t|is c|aos. l loat|c
t|at |i:c oi auatcu:isu. l :cvc: ¡a:ta|c i: t|c c:aua, |ut t:a:slatc a:c ua|c co:c:ctc. \ost
iu¡o:ta:t oi all, l |avc :o :oou io: u, ow: cou¡licatio:s cxcc¡t as |c,s to t|c scc:cts oi t|c tcxt
o: as co:t:ollcc iu¡ulscs io: t|c c:cativit, oi t|c acto:. l |atc tuuult, agg:cssio: o: cuotio:al
out|u:sts. \, :c|ca:sals a:c o¡c:atio:s i: ¡:cuiscs cqui¡¡cc io: t|c ¡u:¡osc, w|c:c scli
cisci¡li:c, clca:li:css, lig|t a:c quict ¡:cvail. A :c|ca:sal is ¡:o¡c: wo:|, :ot ¡:ivatc t|c:a¡, io:
¡:ocucc: a:c acto:.
l ccs¡isc Waltc:, w|o a¡¡ca:s slig|tl, c:u:| at |ali¡ast tc: i: t|c uo::i:g a:c s¡cws out |is
¡:ivatc cou¡licatio:s. l au cisgustcc |, Ic:csa, w|o :us|cs u¡ a:c cu|:accs uc i: a clouc oi
swcat a:c ¡c:iuuc. l woulc li|c to |it laul, t|c uaccc:i:g ga, w|o tu::s u¡ i: |ig||cclcc s|ocs
w|c: |c |:ows |c |as to :u: u¡ a:c cow: stagc stai:s all ca,. l cctcst Va:|a, w|o tuu|lcs i:
cxactl, a ui:utc latc wit| |c: |ai: o: c:c, ¡uiii:g a:c |lowi:g a:c u:tic,, lacc: wit| |ags a:c
ca::ic:s. l au i::itatcc |, ·a:a, w|o |as io:gottc: |c: co¡, oi t|c ¡la, a:c alwa,s |as two
iu¡o:ta:t tclc¡|o:c calls to ua|c. l wa:t calu, o:cc: a:c i:ic:cli:css. ·:l, i: t|at wa, ca: wc
a¡¡:oac| a liuitlcss wo:lc. ·:l, i: t|at wa, ca: wc solvc t|c u,stc:ics a:c lca:: t|c ucc|a:isus
oi :c¡ctitio:. kc¡ctitio:, livi:g t|:o||i:g :c¡ctitio:. I|c sauc ¡c:io:ua:cc cvc:, :ig|t, t|c sauc
¡c:io:ua:cc a:c ,ct :c|o::. lo: t|at uattc:, |ow co wc g:as¡ t|c lig|t:i:gswiit :u|ato so
:cccssa:, io: a ¡c:io:ua:cc :ot to |ccouc ccacl, :outi:c o: i:suiic:a|lc wiliul:css· All gooc
acto:s |:ow t|c scc:ct, t|c uccioc:c |avc to lca:: it, a:c t|c |ac :cvc: lca::.
·o u, wo:| is to acui:istc: tcxts a:c wo:|i:g |ou:s. l au :cs¡o:si|lc io: ca,s :ot sccui:g
c:ti:cl, ¡oi:tlcss. l au :cvc: u, ¡:ivatc scli. l o|sc:vc, :cgistc:, csta|lis| a:c co:t:ol. l au t|c
acto:`s su::ogatc c,c a:c ca:. l suggcst, c:ticc, c:cou:agc o: :ciusc. l au :ot s¡o:ta:cous,
iu¡ulsivc o: a icllow acto:. lt o:l, loo|s as ii l au. li l wc:c to :aisc t|c uas| io: o:c uouc:t a:c
sa, w|at l :call, iccl, u, i:ic:cs woulc tu:: o: uc a:c t|:ow uc out oi t|c wi:cow.
Dcs¡itc t|c uas|, l au :cvc:t|clcss :ot i: cisguisc. \, i:tuitio: s¡ca|s swiitl, a:c clca:l,. l au
totall, ¡:csc:t. I|c uas| is a iiltc: |ut :ot|i:g i::clcva:tl, ¡:ivatc is allowcc to ¡c:ct:atc t|:oug|.
\, ow: tuuult uust |c |c¡t i: ¡lacc.
l livcc io: a co:sicc:a|lc tiuc wit| a: olcc:, cxt:cucl, talc:tcc act:css. ·|c sco::cc u,
clca:li:css t|co:, a:c uai:tai:cc t|at t|cat:c is s|it, lust, :agc a:c wic|cc:css. I|c o:l, |o:i:g
t|i:g a|out ,ou, l:gua: lc:gua:,` s|c saic, is ,ou: ¡assio: io: t|c w|olcsouc. You s|oulc
a|a:co: t|at ¡assio:. lt`s ialsc a:c sus¡cct. lt scts liuits ,ou ca:c:`t cxcccc. li|c I|ouas \a::`s
Docto: laustus, ,ou s|oulc scc| out ,ou: s,¡|ilitic w|o:c.`
lc:|a¡s s|c was :ig|t, ¡c:|a¡s it was all :oua:tic c:ivcl i: t|c was| oi ¡o¡ a:t a:c s|ac, c:ug
scc:cs. l co:`t |:ow. All l |:ow is t|at t|is |cautiiul a:c |:illia:t act:css lost |c: ucuo:, a:c |c:
tcct| a:c cicc at iiit, i: a uc:tal |os¡ital. I|at`s w|at s|c got io: cx¡:cssi:g |c: iccli:gs.
lo: t|at uattc:, a:tists w|o a:c clcvc: wit| wo:cs a:c a |aza:c. ·uccc:l, t|ci: s¡cculatio:s
|a¡¡c: to |ccouc ias|io:a|lc a:c t|at ca: |c cisast:ous. lgo: ·t:avi:s|, lovcc cx¡:cssi:g |iuscli.
lc w:otc a gooc ccal o: i:tc:¡:ctatio:. As |c |o:c a volca:o wit|i: |iu, |c u:gcc :cst:ai:t.
\ccioc:itics :cac |iu a:c :occcc i: ag:ccuc:t, so ¡co¡lc wit|out cvc: t|c slig|tcst vcstigc oi a
volca:o wit|i: t|cu :aiscc t|ci: |ato:s a:c o|sc:vcc :cst:ai:t, w|ilc ·t:avi:s|, |iuscli, w|o
:cvc: ¡:actiscc w|at |c ¡:cac|cc, co:cuctcc |is ow: +¡.!!.- Mo·o¸e·e as ii it wc:c Ic|ai|ovs|,.
Wc w|o |ac :cac |iu listc:cc a:c wc:c asto:is|cc.
l: 1-·o, l was to ci:cct ·t:i:c|c:g`s + Ð.eo¬ t!o, io: t|c iou:t| tiuc, a cccisio: t|at sccucc
gooc. M.·· jo!.e a:c + Ð.eo¬ t!o, wit|i: t|c sauc ¡:ocuctio: ,ca:. \, :oou at t|c ko,al D:auatic
I|cat:c, alwa,s |:ow: as D:auatc:, |ac |cc: :c¡ai:cc. l uovcc i: a:c iclt at |ouc.
·u: ¡:c¡a:ato:, wo:| sta:tcc oii wit| cou¡licatio:s. l c:gagcc a stagc ccsig:c: i:ou
Got|c:|u:g a:c t|c: |is ¡a:t:c: oi tc: ,ca:s lcit |iu io: a ,ou:g acto:. I|c stagc ccsig:c:
acqui:cc a stouac| ulcc: a:c a::ivcc i: a w:ctc|cc statc at u, |ouc o: la:o ;·|cc¡ lsla:c, |ust
aitc: uicsuuuc:.
l: t|c |o¡c t|at wo:| woulc co:tai: |is cc¡:cssio:, wc sta:tcc ou: cail, uccti:gs. I|c
ccsig:c:`s li¡s t:cu|lcc a:c |c loo|cc at uc wit| |is slig|tl, ¡:ot:uci:g c,cs. l wa:t |c: to couc
|ac|,` |c w|is¡c:cc. l cic :ot cu|a:| o: a cu:c oi souls, a:c ¡c:sistcc, |ut a icw wcc|s latc:, |c
|:o|c cow: a:c saic t|at |c coulc:`t co¡c, aitc: w|ic| |c ¡ac|cc |is |ags a:c :ctu::cc to
Got|c:|u:g, w|c:c |c |oistcc sail a:c wc:t to sca wit| a :cw lovc:.
l: u, :ccc, l tu::cc to u, olc i:ic:c a:c collcaguc, \a:i| Vos. ·|c was i:ic:cl, a:c
c:t|usiastic a:c i:stallcc |c:scli i: ou: gucst |ousc. Wc wc:c al:cac, wcll |c|i:c sc|cculc, |ut
sta:tcc oii i: a gooc uooc. \a:, ,ca:s |cio:c \a:i| |ac co:c Ð.eo¬ t!o,., ¡:ocuccc |, ·loi
\ola:cc:, t|c iou:cc: oi t|c ·t:i:c|c:g t:acitio:.
l |ac |cc: cissatisiicc wit| u, ¡:cvious t|:cc ¡:ocuctio:s oi t|is scui:al ¡la,. I|c ·wccis| IV
vc:sio: |ac couc to g:ici owi:g to tcc|:ical cisastc:s ;vicco ta¡cs coulc:`t cvc: |c ccitcc i: t|osc
ca,s,, t|c ¡c:io:ua:cc o: t|c ·uall ·tagc tu::cc out ¡oo: ccs¡itc cxccllc:t acto:s, a:c t|c
Gc:ua: acvc:tu:c |ac |cc: :ui:cc |, ovc:w|clui:g scts.
I|is tiuc l wa:tcc to ¡la, t|c tcxt wit| :o c|a:gcs o: cclctio:s, |ust as t|c w:itc: |ac w:ittc:
it. \, i:tc:tio: was also to t:a:slatc t|c vc:, cou¡licatcc stagc ci:cctio:s i:to tcc|:icall, ¡ossi|lc
a:c |cautiiul solutio:s. l wa:tcc t|c aucic:cc to cx¡c:ic:cc t|c stc:c| oi t|c |ac|,a:c oi t|c
Acvocatc`s oiiicc, t|c colc |caut, oi lagc:vi|`s suuuc: cou:t:,sicc i: s:ow, t|c sul¡|u:ous uist
a:c gli:t oi |cll i: ·|ausu:c a:c t|c uag:iiicc:t ilowc:s :ou:c t|c kisi:g ·astlc, t|c olc t|cat:c
|c|i:c t|c t|cat:c co::ico:.
I|c ·uall ·tagc at D:auatc: was iu¡:actical, c:au¡cc a:c s|a||,, i: :calit, a co:vc:tcc
ci:cua w|ic| |ac :ot |ac a:, ua|o: :c¡ai:s si:cc it was o¡c:cc i: t|c ca:l, 1-+0s. Io ac|icvc
s¡acc a:c i:tiuac,, wc ccciccc to :cuovc iou: :ows oi scats a:c cxtc:c t|c stagc |, iivc uct:cs.
l: t|at wa,, wc o|tai:cc a: outc: :oou a:c a: i::c: :oou. I|c outc: :oou, :ca:cst to t|c
aucic:cc, was to |c t|c W:itc:`s couai: wit| |is ccs| |, a uulticolou:cc a:t:ouvcau wi:cow,
t|c ¡alu wit| its colou:cc lig|ts, t|c |oo|casc wit| its scc:ct coo:. Io t|c :ig|t oi t|c stagc was a
|ca¡ oi :u||is| coui:atcc |, a la:gc |ut cauagcc c:uciiix a:c t|c u,stc:ious ¡a:t:, coo:. l: t|c
co::c:, as ii |u:icc i: t|c cust, |u:|, ugl, lcit` sat at |c: ¡ia:o. I|c act:css was a s|illcc ¡ia:ist,
accou¡a:,i:g t|c cvc:ts wit| |ot| actio: a:c uusic.
I|c i:o:t :oou, ac|icvcc |, cxtc:ci:g t|c stagc, o¡c:cc o: to a uagical |ac| :oou. As a c|ilc,
l |ac oitc: stooc i: t|c ca:| ci:i:g :oou at |ouc, ¡cc¡i:g i:to t|c salo: t|:oug| t|c |alio¡c:
slici:g coo:s. I|c su: lit u¡ iu::itu:c a:c o||ccts, glittc:cc i: t|c c|a:cclic: a:c cast uovi:g
s|acows o: to t|c ca:¡ct. lvc:,t|i:g was g:cc:, as i: a: aqua:iuu. l:sicc, ¡co¡lc uovcc,
cisa¡¡ca:cc, :ca¡¡ca:cc, stooc quitc still a:c s¡o|c i: low voiccs. I|c ilowc:s i: t|c wi:cow
glowcc, t|c cloc|s tic|cc a:c st:uc| a uagical :oou. Wc wc:c :ow to :cc:catc suc| a :oou o: t|c
i::c: stagc. Ic: st:o:g ¡:o|ccto:s wc:c acqui:cc to ¡la, o: to iivc s¡cciall, co:st:uctcc sc:cc:s.
Wc cic:`t |:ow w|at iuagcs t|c, wc:c to s|ow, |ut wc co:sicc:cc wc |ac ¡lc:t, oi tiuc to t|i:|
a|out t|at. I|c stagc iloo: was covc:cc wit| a soit g:c,is||luc ca:¡ct, a:c a ccili:g oi t|c sauc
colou: was iixcc a|ovc t|c outc: :oou. I|us t|c usuall, u:¡:ccicta|lc acoustics o: t|c ·uall ·tagc
|ccauc sta|lc a:c cxt:cucl, sc:sitivc. I|c acto:s coulc s¡ca| quic|l, a:c lig|tl,, t|c c|au|c:
uusic ¡:i:ci¡lc was csta|lis|cc.
l: \a, 1-01, ·t:i:c|c:g ua::ics a ,ou:g, :at|c: cxotic |caut, at t|c ko,al D:auatic I|cat:c.
·|c is t|i:t, ,ca:s ,ou:gc: t|a: |c is a:c al:cac, succcssiul. ·t:i:c|c:g :c:ts a iivc:oou a¡a:tuc:t
i: a :cw |uilci:g o: la:la¡la:, a:c c|ooscs t|c iu::itu:c, wall¡a¡c:s, ¡ictu:cs a:c |:ica|:ac. lis
,ou:g |:icc c:tc:s a ccco: c:ti:cl, c:catcc |, |c: agci:g |us|a:c. I|c co:t:acti:g ¡a:t:c:s
lovi:gl,, lo,all, a:c clcvc:l, ta|c ¡ai:s i:ou t|c sta:t to :c¡:ocucc t|c :olcs cx¡cctcc oi t|cu.
lowcvc: t|c uas|s soo: |cgi: to c:ac| a:c a: u:io:cscc: c:aua |:ca|s t|:oug| t|c ca:ciull,
¡la::cc ¡asto:al. I|c wiic ilccs t|c |ouc i: :agc a:c gocs to sta, wit| :clativcs out i: t|c isla:cs.
I|c w:itc: is lcit alo:c wit| |is |a:csouc ccco:. lt is |ig| suuuc: a:c t|c cit, is ccsc:tcc. lc is
aiilictcc wit| a ¡ai: |it|c:to u:|:ow: to |iu.
l: Io Ðo¬o·.o·, w|c: t|c lac, :c¡:oac|cs |iu io: ¡la,i:g wit| Dcat|, t|c ·t:a:gc: :c¡lics.
¡ust as l ¡la, wit| liic. l was a w:itc:. :otwit|sta:ci:g u, i::atc ucla:c|ol,, l |avc :cvc: |cc:
a|lc to ta|c a:,t|i:g :call, sc:iousl,, :ot cvc: u, ow: g:cat so::ows, a:c t|c:c a:c uouc:ts
w|c: l cou|t t|at liic |as a:, uo:c :calit, t|a: u, w:iti:g.`
I|c wou:c is :ow ccc¡ a:c |lccci:g ¡:oiuscl,. I|c |u:t ca::ot |c tu::cc o: o: oii as i: ot|c:
cisastc:s i: liic. I|c ¡ai: |o:cs its wa, towa:cs t|c u:|:ow: :oou a:c o¡c:s t|c iloocgatcs.
·t:i:c|c:g w:itcs i: |is cia:, t|at |c wc¡t, |ut t|c tca:s clca:scc |is c,cs a:c |c coulc loo| o:
|iuscli a:c |is icllow uc: wit| co:ciliato:, i:culgc:cc. lc was cc:tai:l, s¡ca|i:g a :cw la:guagc.
I|c:c is a g:cat ccal oi ciscussio: o: |ow la:gc a ¡a:t oi Ð.eo¬ t!o, |ac |cc: co:ccivcc |cio:c
la::ict lossc :ctu::cc to a: accc¡ta:cc oi |c: ¡:cg:a:c, a:c a co:ciliato:, ic,ll. I|c ii:st |ali is
a: i:cou¡a:a|lc ilow, :ot|i:g ciiiicult to i:tc:¡:ct, all is ¡lcasu:c a:c to:uc:t, alivc, o:igi:al,
u:cx¡cctcc. I|c c:aua scts its ow: stagc, t|c i:s¡i:atio: cului:ati:g i: t|c Acvocatc`s |ouc. I|c
sta:t, t|c cisillusio: a:c t|c cisi:tcg:atio: oi a ua::iagc a:c ccuo:st:atcc i: cxactl, twclvc
ui:utcs.
I|c: t|i:gs |ccauc uo:c ciiiicult io: t|c ¡:ocucc: o· + Ð.eo¬ t!o,. ·|ausu:c was iollowcc |,
lagc:vi|, t|c i:s¡i:atio: stuu|lcc a:c t:i¡¡cc :at|c: as ii, i: t|c i:solu|lc iuguc i: lcct|ovc:`s
lauuc:|lavic: so:ata, t|c ¡:ccisio: wc:c to |c :c¡laccc |, too ua:, :otcs. li ,ou cliui:atcc too
uuc|, t|c scc:cs cicc, ii ,ou actcc it all, t|c aucic:cc ti:cc.
lt uca:t |cc¡i:g a cool |cac a:c i:t:ocuci:g a :|,t|u t|at |ac |cc: lost. I|at was ¡ossi|lc a:c
¡aic civicc:cs, as t|c tcxt was still st:o:g, |a:s|, auusi:g a:c ¡octicall, tc:a|lc. I|c u:cx¡cctcc
i:t:usio: oi t|c sc|ool scc:c, io: i:sta:cc, is s¡lc:cic. ·: t|c ot|c: |a:c, t|c u:|a¡¡, coal
|cavc:s a:c a taxi:g aiiai:. + Ð.eo¬ t!o, is :o lo:gc: a c:cau ¡la,, |ut a to¡ical :cvicw wit| o:c
:uu|c: oi cou|tiul qualit,.
lowcvc:, t|c uost cou¡lcx ¡:o|lcus :cuai:cc. li:st li:gal`s ·avc. Wc |:ow ¡cacc :cig:s i:
t|c |ousc. I|c ¡:cg:a:t ,ou:g wiic is ccvoti:g |c:scli to scul¡tu:c a:c :caci:g gooc |oo|s a:c t|c
W:itc: |as sto¡¡cc suo|i:g to s|ow |is goocwill. I|c, go to t|c t|cat:c a:c o¡c:a, givc ci::c:
¡a:tics a:c a::a:gc uusical soi:ccs. I|c c:cau ¡la, ilou:is|cs. ·t:i:c|c:g :ow ciscovc:s t|c c:aua
is s|a¡i:g i:to a ¡a:o:aua oi |uua: liic su¡c:viscc |, a ¡:coccu¡icc Goc. lc succc:l, iccls
|iuscli callcc to ¡ut i:to wo:cs t|c Divicc oi lci:g |c |as ¡:cviousl, ccuo:st:atcc i: t|c tcxt i:
suc| a: u:io:ccc wa,. l:c:a`s Daug|tc: ta|cs t|c W:itc: |, t|c |a:c a:c, u:io:tu:atcl, io: |iu,
lcacs |iu to t|c li:gal`s ·avc ia:t|cst out to sca, w|c:c t|c, ccclaiu |cautiiul a:c wo:t|lcss vc:scs
a|out cac| ot|c:, t|c vilcst a:c t|c uost lovcl, sicc |, sicc.
A ¡:ocucc: w|o cocs:`t givc u¡ |ut lcts ·t:i:c|c:g stcw i: |is ow: |uicc is iaccc wit| aluost
i:su¡c:a|lc ¡:o|lcus. lo` w to c:catc li:gal`s ·avc so t|at it cocs:`t sa|otagc itscli· low s|all l
ua:ocuv:c t|c W:itc:`s g:cat lauc:t ci:cctcc at l:c:a· lt co:sists la:gcl, oi cou¡lai:ts. low s|all
l c:catc t|c sto:u, t|c s|i¡w:cc| a:c, uost ciiiicult oi all, ·|:ist wal|i:g o: t|c watc:· ;A quict,
g:i¡¡i:g uouc:t i: a tu:gic ¡iccc oi |au t|cat:c.,
l t:icc to ua|c a suall t|cat:c ¡c:io:ua:cc wit|i: t|c ¡c:io:ua:cc. I|c W:itc: a::a:gcs a:
acti:g s¡acc wit| a sc:cc:, a c|ai: a:c a |o:: g:auo¡|o:c. lc w:a¡s l:c:a`s Daug|tc: i: a:
o:ic:tal s|awl. lc c:ow:s |iuscli i: i:o:t oi t|c ui::o: wit| t|c c:ow: oi t|o::s i:ou t|c
c:uciiix. lc givcs souc ua:usc:i¡t ¡agcs to |is icllow ¡la,c:. I|c, slicc i:ou ¡la,i:g gaucs i:to
sc:ious:css, i:ou ¡a:oc, i:to i:o:,, sc:ious:css agai:, t|c |o, oi t|c auatcu:, g:cat t|cat:c a:c
¡u:c a:c siu¡lc |a:uo:,. I|c su|liuc sta,s su|liuc a:c w|at is govc::cc |, tiuc is givc: a touc|
oi tc:cc:|ca:tcc i:o:,.
Wc wc:c ¡lcascc wit| ou: solutio:, at last wc |ac iou:c a ¡:actica|lc wa,.
I|c iollowi:g scc:c i: t|c t|cat:c co::ico: is cull a:c sa,s :ot|i:g, |ut ca::ot |c cxcluccc.
I|c gauc wit| I|c kig|tcous, t|c ·cc:ct |c|i:c t|c coo: a:c t|c Acvocatc`s uu:cc: oi t|c
Daug|tc:`s soul :u:s ¡c:icctl, suoot|l,, |astil, s|ctc|cc a:c :cvc: ccc¡l, go:c i:to. I|c o:l,
wa, to ovc:couc t|is is lig|t:css, swiit:css a:c uc:acc. I|c kig|tcous uust u:co:citio:all,
|ccouc ca:gc:ous w|c: t|c, a:c scizcc wit| a:xict, w|c: iaccc wit| t|c cu¡ti:css |c|i:c t|c
o¡c: coo:.
Dcs¡itc cvc:,t|i:g, t|c ii:al scc:c at t|c alta: is su¡c:| a:c t|c Daug|tc:`s cc¡a:tu:c siu¡l,
g:i¡¡i:g. lt is ¡:cccccc |, a st:a:gc cxc:cscc:cc. l:c:a`s Daug|tc: |ct:a,s t|c ·olutio: oi t|c
\,stc:, oi liic. Acco:ci:g to |is cia:,, ·t:i:c|c:g was :caci:g a|out l:cia: u,t|olog, a:c
¡|iloso¡|, at t|c tiuc oi t|c ii:al ¡:ocuctio: oi t|c c:aua. lc t|:cw t|c i:uits oi |is :caci:g i:to
t|c ¡ot a:c sti::cc it. I|c, :ciuscc to si:| to t|c |ottou o: givc t|c cis| a:, tastc, :cuai:i:g a
¡iccc oi l:cia: saga wit| :o ¡lacc i: t|c :cst oi t|c tcxt.
l: t|c ii:al scc:c, a:c i: t|c |:is| o¡c:i:g scc:c, t|c:c is a: i:solu|lc |ut wcllco:ccalcc
¡:o|lcu. At t|c |cgi::i:g a c|ilc is a¡¡a:c:tl, s¡ca|i:g to |is iat|c:. I|c ·astlc is still g:owi:g
out oi t|c ca:t|. Do ,ou scc |ow uuc| it |as g:ow: si:cc last ,ca:·` At t|c vc:, c:c, a: agci:g
w:itc: is s¡ca|i:g. ·|, :ow l iccl t|c w|olc ¡ai: oi cxistc:cc. ·o t|is is w|at it is to |c a |uua:
|ci:g.` At ii:st a c|ilc a:c at t|c c:c a: olc ua:, a |uua: liic i: |ctwcc:. l s|a:cc l:c:a`s
Daug|tc: |ctwcc: t|:cc act:csscs. I|at ¡aic civicc:cs. I|c |cgi::i:g glowcc, t|c c:c was
accquatc, a:c cvc: t|c \,stc:, oi liic |ccauc a uovi:g saga i: t|c liic cx¡c:ic:cc a:c si:cc:it, oi
a g:cat act:css. I|c acult Daug|tc: was to |c st:o:g, i:quisitivc, vital, c|cc:iul, ca¡:icious a:c
t:agic as s|c wal|cc t|:oug| liic.
l |ac :cvc: |cio:c iou:c t|c solutio: to a ¡:ocuctio: wit| so uuc| la|ou: o: so agg:avati:gl,
slowl,. lt |ac uca:t wi¡i:g out ucuo:ics oi ca:lic: :csults. At t|c sauc tiuc, it was iu¡o:ta:t :ot
to t|:ow t|c |a|, out wit| t|c |at|watc:.
Gooc solutio:s w|ic| iittcc :catl, i:to t|c :cw co:cc¡tio: |ac to |c savcc. lut cliui:atio: was
also :cccssa:,, iollowi:g laul|:c:`s |a:s| acvicc. lill ,ou: ca:li:gs.` W|ilc t|c ¡:ocuctio: oi M.··
jo!.e |ac |cc: a: c:|o,a|lc gauc, t|c co:qucst oi + Ð.eo¬ t!o, tu::cc out to |c a t:ou|lcsouc
c:usacc.
lo: t|c ii:st tiuc, i:c:casi:g agc sccucc to |c u:cc:ui:i:g uc. luagcs a¡¡ca:cc :clucta:tl,,,
cccisio:ua|i:g |ccauc lo:g c:aw:out a:c l iclt u:usuall, sclico:scious. W|at was iu¡ossi|lc
:cuai:cc iu¡ossi|lc a:c was suiiocati:g uc. ·cvc:al tiucs, l iclt li|c givi:g u¡, a vc:, :a:c
iu¡ulsc i:cccc i: uc.
kc|ca:sals |cga: o: Iucsca, + lc|:ua:, wit| a uccti:g at w|ic| wc ciscusscc ¡:actical cctails,
¡la::i:g a:c tcc|:icalitics. Wc |ac al:cac, ag:ccc t|at t|c tcxt s|oulc |c lca::t as soo: as
¡ossi|lc. All t|at olc c:iiti:g a:ou:c wit| :osc i: |oo| a:c o:c a:u iuuo|ilizcc, o:igi:all,
lau:c|cc |, la:s la:so: w|o |atcc lca::i:g li:cs, was :ow a t|i:g oi t|c ¡ast. laz, acto:s
a¡¡:o¡:iatcc |is gos¡cl wit| t|c vaguc icca t|at t|c, woulc a|so:| t|c tcxt o:ga:icall, cu:i:g t|c
cou:sc oi :c|ca:sals. I|is alwa,s :csultcc i: c|aos, souc |:owi:g t|ci: li:cs, ot|c:s :ot, gla:ccs
a:c gcstu:cs, t|c w|olc i:tc:¡la, |ccoui:g a ¡atc|wo:|.
I|c uost iu¡o:ta:t tas| oi a: acto: is oi cou:sc to iocus o: a:c :cs¡o:c to |is icllow ¡la,c:.
Wit| :o ,.o, :o i, as a wisc ¡c:so: o:cc ¡ut it.
l loo| t|:oug| u, cia:, :otcs i:ou wo:| o: + Ð.eo¬ t!o,, :ot vc:, c:cou:agi:g :caci:g. l was
i: |ac s|a¡c, u:cas,, cc|cctcc, ti:cc, u, :ig|t |i¡ |u:ti:g a:c ac|i:g co:ti:uall,, a:c uo::i:gs
wc:c t:ou|lcsouc. \, stouac| was sa|otagi:g uc wit| c:au¡s a:c attac|s oi cia::|oca. Icciuu
|u:g li|c a cau¡ cis|clot| :ou:c u, soul.
lut l s|owcc :ot|i:g. lt is cc:clictio: oi cut, to lct ¡:ivatc aiilictio:s o|t:ucc at wo:|. You:
uooc uust |c cvc: a:c io:cciul |ut, o: t|c ot|c: |a:c, i:ccii:a|lc c:cativc ccsi:cs uust :ot |c
c:cou:agcc. You |avc to :cl, o: ca:ciul ¡:c¡a:atio: a:c |o¡c io: |cttc: t|i:gs.
A uo:t| o: so |cio:c :c|ca:sals sta:tcc, lc:a ·li: as|cc to s¡ca| to uc. ·|c was to ¡la, l:c:a`s
Daug|tc:. ·|c |ac |cc: i:icctcc |, t|c ¡:cvaili:g ic:tilit, :iic i: t|c t|cat:c. At t|c ¡:cuic:c, s|c
woulc ¡:csuua|l,` |c at t|c |cgi::i:g oi t|c iiit| uo:t| a:c was to givc |i:t| i: August. ·o a:
autuu: scaso: was out oi t|c qucstio: a:c t|c ¡c:so:all, ccua:ci:g Ð.eo¬ t!o, coulc :ot |c ¡ut
o: t|c iollowi:g s¡:i:g. Wc woulc |avc io:t, ¡c:io:ua:ccs at t|c uost.
I|c situatio: was :at|c: auusi:g. \, tclcvisio: ¡la,, +¡·e. ·|e re|eo.·o!, was a|out a uccti:g
|ctwcc: a ,ou:g act:css ;¡la,cc |, lc:a ·li:, a:c a: olc ci:ccto: w|o was ¡:ocuci:g + Ð.eo¬ t!o,
io: t|c iou:t| tiuc. ·|c sa,s s|c is wit| c|ilc. I|c olc ci:ccto:, w|o sta:tcc it all so as to wo:|
wit| t|c ,ou:g act:css, is ccvastatcc. lvc:tuall, t|c act:css :cvcals t|at s|c |as al:cac, |ac a:
a|o:tio:.
lc:a ·li: |ac :o i:tc:tio: oi |avi:g a: a|o:tio:. ·|c was a st:o:g, |cautiiul a:c livcl, ¡c:so:,
cxt:cucl, cuotio:al, souctiucs c|aotic, |ut sta|lc a:c iull oi couuo:sc:sc. ·|c was ¡lcascc to
|c ¡:cg:a:t. ·|c coulc scc ciiiicultics, |ut saic t|at ii s|c was goi:g to |avc a c|ilc it |ac to |c
:ow, alt|oug| s|c was |ust |cgi::i:g to |c |:ow:.
lo: t|c ci:ccto:, at lcast, t|c situatio: |ac its couic sicc. lut a ,ou:g uot|c:to|c is :cvc:
couic. lc:a was lovcl, a:c cccc:t, a:c |ac also givc: u¡ |c: ca:cc: to |avc |c: c|ilc.
luotio:s a:c io: t|c uost ¡a:t u:govc::a|lc. l t|oug|t s|c |ac lcit uc i: t|c lu:c|. ·ocallcc
:calit, |ac :cviscc |ot| c:cau a:c ¡la::i:g. \, |ittc::css iaccc aluost at o:cc. W|at so:t oi
w|i:i:g was t|is· ;: t|c lo:g :u:, ou: t|cat:ical cxc:tio:s a:c a uattc: oi souc i:ciiic:c:cc, |ut
t|c |i:t| oi a c|ilc |:oug|t wit| it a touc| oi uca:i:g. lc:a ·li: was |a¡¡,. l was |a¡¡, io: |c:
|a¡¡i:css.
I|c cull:css oi t|c :c|ca:sals |ac :ot|i:g, o: aluost :ot|i:g, to co wit| t|is. I|c wcc|s wc:t
|,. I|c :csults oi ou: la|ou:s wc:c a:c :cuai:cc stocgil, :cs¡ccta|lc. Also, \a:i| Vos, u, stagc
ccsig:c:, |ac a |lac|out o: |ac ¡c:|a¡s |cc: ovc:wo:|i:g. D:auatc:`s ualc costuuc cc¡a:tuc:t
|ac io: ua:, ,ca:s |cc: ua::cc` |, i:cou¡ctc:t :itwits. \a:i| st:ugglcc silc:tl, a:c stu||o::l,
wit| stu¡icit,, lazi:css a:c scliiu¡o:ta:cc, :ot|i:g loo|cc as it s|oulc a:c :ot|i:g was ii:is|cc,
wit| t|c :csult t|at s|c io:got ou: ¡:o|cctio:s. ·|c |ac cclcgatcc t|c ¡ictu:c :csca:c| to a ,ou:g
lac, w|o |ac |cc: s|iitcc clscw|c:c owi:g to |c: gc:c:al i:cou¡ctc:cc, |ut |ac |cc: cxt:cucl,
i:cust:ious a:c o:cc:cc ¡|otog:a¡|s costi:g tc:s oi t|ousa:cs oi |:o:c: wit|out a:,o:c :otici:g.
W|c: l t|oug|t t|c:c was a sus¡icious silc:cc, l sta:tcc ¡o|i:g u, :osc i:. lt tu::cc out t|at wc
|ac cxccllc:t ¡:o|ccto:s ;costi:g :ca:l, |ali a uillio: |:o:c:, |ut :o ¡:o|cctio:s. Disastc: was
iuui:c:t, |ut wc wc:c i: luc|. A ,ou:g ¡|otog:a¡|c: w|o |ot| wa:tcc a:c was a|lc to co t|cu
a¡¡ca:cc a:c ccvotcc ca, a:c :ig|t to t|c ¡:o|lcus. I|c last ¡|otog:a¡|s wc:c :cac, i: tiuc io:
t|c c:css :c|ca:sal.
·: l:ica, 1+ \a:c| wc |ac t|c ii:st :u:t|:oug|, lctti:g it all go t|:oug| wit|out i:tc::u¡tio:s
o: :c:u:s. l: u, cia:, l w:otc. l:ust:ati:g :u:t|:oug|. ·itti:g t|c:c gla:i:g. Iotall, outsicc.
Iotall, u:uovcc. Wcll, tiuc c:oug|.` ;I|c ¡:cuic:c |ac |cc: ¡la::cc io: 1¯ A¡:il, scvc:t,:i:c
,ca:s to t|c ca,aitc: t|c wo:lc ¡:cuic:c.,
·: t|c ·u:ca,, l:la:c ¡osc¡|so: a:c l wc:c i: u, :oou at t|c t|cat:c tal|i:g a|out lac|, w|o
|ac :ctu::cc i:ou a |ou::c, to ii:c t|at |is wiic a:c two oi t|ci: c|ilc:c: |ac cicc cu:i:g |is
a|sc:cc. lc w:otc i: |is cia:,. Dca: lo:c, ua, u, |o, :ot lcavc uc.`
All t|:oug| u, co:scious liic, l |ac livcc wit| w|at lac| calls |is |o,. lt |ac ca::icc uc t|:oug|
c:iscs a:c uisc:, a:c iu:ctio:cc as iait|iull, as u, |ca:t, souctiucs ovc:w|clui:g a:c ciiiicult to
|a:clc, |ut :cvc: a:tago:istic o: ccst:uctivc. lac| callcc t|is statc |is |o,, a |o, i: Goc. Dca:
lo:c, ua, u, |o, :ot lcavc uc.
·uccc:l, l |ca:c u,scli sa,i:g to l:la:c. Iu a|out to losc u, |o,. l ca: iccl it ¡|,sicall,. lt`s
:u::i:g out. l`u |ust c:,i:g u¡, i:sicc.`
l sta:tcc c:,i:g a:c t|at i:ig|tc:cc uc, |ccausc l :cvc: wc¡t. l |ac |cc: a: c:t|usiastic wcc¡c:
as a c|ilc. \, uot|c: saw t|:oug| u, tca:s a:c ¡u:is|cc uc. l sto¡¡cc c:,i:g. ·ccasio:all, l
sc:sc a: i:sa:c wail ccc¡ cow: i: t|c ¡it, t|c cc|o alo:c :cac|i:g uc, st:i|i:g wit|out wa::i:g, a
c|ilc wcc¡i:g u:i:|i|itccl,, iu¡:iso:cc io: cvc:.
·: t|at ca:|c:i:g aitc::oo: i: u, :oou at t|c t|cat:c, t|c attac| cauc quitc u:cx¡cctccl,, u,
g:ici ca:| a:c |ittc:.
A icw ,ca:s ago, l visitcc a i:ic:c w|o was c,i:g oi ca:cc:, |c was c:oci:g awa,, t:a:sio:ucc
i:to a s|:ivcllcc g:ouc wit| |ugc c,cs a:c la:gc ,cllow tcct|. lc was l,i:g o: |is sicc, co::cctcc
to a :uu|c: oi uac|i:cs, |olci:g |is lcit |a:c closc to |is iacc a:c uovi:g |is ii:gc:s. lc suilcc a
tc::i|lc suilc a:c saic. loo|, l ca: still uovc u, ii:gc:s. I|at`s alwa,s a cist:actio:.`
l t|oug|t. lt uca:s aca¡ti:g o:cscli, ¡ulli:g |ac| t|c i:o:t li:cs, t|c |attlc al:cac, lost, :ot|i:g
uo:c to cx¡cct alt|oug| l livcc u:cc: t|c c|cc:iul cclusio: t|at lc:gua: woulc :cuai: i:tact io:
cvc:. A:c:`t t|c:c s¡ccial :cgulatio:s io: |,¡oc:itcs·` t|c acto: ·|at sa,s i: 1|e :e·e-·| :eo!,
clutc|i:g at t|c to¡ oi t|c I:cc` oi liic. I|c:c a:c :o s¡ccial :cgulatio:s io: acto:s,` sa,s Dcat|,
¡utti:g |is saw to t|c t:u:|.
·: t|c \o:ca, :ig|t, l |ac a |ig| tcu¡c:atu:c a:c was s|a|i:g a:c swcati:g, cvc:, :c:vc
:c|clli:g. I|is was a: u:iauilia: cx¡c:ic:cc. l au ¡:acticall, :cvc: ill. l souctiucs iclt ill, |ut was
:cvc: so ill t|at l coulc:`t ci:cct :c|ca:sals o: iilui:g.
l |ac a |ig| tcu¡c:atu:c io: tc: ca,s, u:a|lc cvc: to :cac, |ut siu¡l, la, t|c:c uostl, cozi:g.
W|c: l got u¡, l aluost iuucciatcl, lost u, |ala:cc. l was so ill it was aluost i:tc:csti:g. Dozi:g,
ialli:g aslcc¡, wa|i:g, coug|i:g, s:iiili:g, i:iluc:za |lossoui:g u:ti:i:gl,, u, tcu¡c:atu:c
lca¡i:g a|out. l |ac u, o¡¡o:tu:it,. li l was goi:g to lcavc + Ð.eo¬ t!o,, t|is was t|c uouc:t.
Wc |ac :cco:ccc t|c u:|a¡¡, :u:t|:oug| o: vicco. l ¡la,cc it ovc: a:c ovc: agai:, :oti:g t|c
wca|:csscs a:c a:al,si:g t|c iaili:gs. I|c c|a:cc oi gctti:g out oi it |ac givc: uc t|c cou:agc to
go o:. I|c uca:i:glcss:css was still |ust as uca:i:glcss a:c t|c listlcss:css |ust as listlcss, |ut l |ac
|cc: ovc:couc |, a :agc ccua:ci:g ac:c:ali:. i o¬ -.· ,e· 1eo1.
l ccciccc l woulc :c|ca:sc agai: o: i A¡:il :cga:clcss oi u, co:citio:. I|c :ig|t |cio:c, l |ac a
:cla¡sc wit| a tcu¡c:atu:c a:c stouac| c:au¡s. lowcvc:, wc wo:|cc :o:uall,. l to:c u¡ lo:g
scctio:s a:c sta:tcc agai: i:ou t|c |cgi::i:g. I|c acto:s :cs¡o:ccc wit| i:ic:cl, c:t|usiasu. \,
:ig|ts wc:c slcc¡lcss, iillcc wit| a:xict, a:c ¡|,sical ciscouio:t, t|c i:iluc:za lcavi:g uc wit| a
cc¡:cssio: l cic :ot :ccog:izc, livi:g its ow: ¡oiso:ous liic wit|i: u, |oc,.
·: Wcc:csca, - A¡:il wc cou¡lctcc ou: last ca, i: t|c :c|ca:sal :oou. l w:otc.
A¡¡:c|c:sio:s vc:iiicc a:c :ci:io:ccc. \ust c:ivc o: |a:cc:. ·ac, |ut |, :o uca:s c:us|cc.`
I|c: wc uovcc cow: to t|c c:us| a:c ciscouio:ts oi t|c ·uall ·tagc. Dista:cc a:c t|c |:ig|t
wo:|i:g lig|t uc:cilcssl, s|owcc u¡ t|c u:cvc::csscs i: t|c ¡la,. Wc co::cctcc a:c c|a:gcc
t|i:gs, lig|ti:g, costuucs, uas|s. \, la|o:iousl, co:st:uctcc |ousc oi ca:cs colla¡scc, cvc:,t|i:g
c|aii:g, c:ca|i:g a:c :ci:acto:,.
I|c w|olc wo:lc is qua|i:g a:c colla¡si:g. Au l :call, to |avc t|is |ca:c: li l`u to |avc o:c
¡ai: oi t:ousc:s o: to¡ oi t|c ot|c:, l wo:`t |avc tiuc to c|a:gc. A Vclc:ost:i¡ is :ccccc |c:c.
You: ua|cu¡ is too w|itc. laluc`s |illc: is still at li|c:t,. I|c s:ow uac|i:c is out oi o:cc:, t|c
s:ow`s coui:g i: luu¡s, t|c:c`s souct|i:g w:o:g wit| t|c sus¡c:sio:, w|, is t|c lcit ¡:o|ccto:
givi:g a wa:uc: lig|t t|a: t|c ot|c:s· I|c:c`s souct|i:g w:o:g wit| t|c ui::o:, a ua:uiactu:i:g
iault, t|c:c a:c :o ui::o:s i: ·wccc:, wc`ll |avc to o:cc: o:c i:ou Aust:ia. kiots i: ·out| Ai:ica,
iou:tcc: ¡co¡lc |illcc, ua:, i:|u:cc. W|, a:c t|c ia:s ua|i:g t|at :oisc· I|c vc:tilatio: is
|o¡clcss, t|c:c`s a colc s¡ot i: t|c uicclc oi t|c salo:, w|, |avc:`t ,ou got ,ou: s|ocs· I|c
s|ocua|c:`s ill, t|c o:cc: |as |cc: ¡ut out i: tow:, t|c s|ocs ua, couc o: l:ica,. ·a: l ta|c it a
littlc cas, toca,· l`vc got a so:c t|:oat, :o, :o tcu¡c:atu:c, l`u :ot ta|i:g ¡a:t i: 1|e c.·e.-¬e-·
.-·¡e.·.., |ut l |avc a :caci:g o: t|c :acio.
·ta, t|c:c, ta|c two stc¡s to ,ou: :ig|t, t|at`s gooc, ca: ,ou iccl t|at s¡ot·
latic:cc a:c |uuou:, laug| i:stcac oi qua::clli:g. lt gocs uo:c quic|l, t|at wa,, |ut it`s
¡ai:iul. :ow wc`vc got to t|at ¡lacc, :o, :o c|a:gc, still s¡ccc|lcss. l ca: scc |iu s|a|i:g as
t|oug| wit| c:au¡, |avc l co:c w:o:g· Woulc ot|c: scc:c:, |avc |cl¡cc· :o, :ot|i:g |cl¡s. lc
wa:ts so |acl, to gct it :ig|t, |attc:i:g at t|c ¡:iso: walls, t|c:c uust |c souc wa,.
I|c wo:lc is qua|i:g a:c colla¡si:g, wc |uzz oiiiciousl, a:c :at|c: cxcitccl, i:sicc t|c t|ic|
walls oi t|c lousc. A littlc wo:lc oi t:ou|lcc ciso:cc:, i:cust:,, lovc a:c s|ill. I|is is all wc
|:ow.
I|c uo::i:g aitc: t|c assassi:atio: oi ·loi laluc, wc asscu|lcc i: t|c waiti:g :oou oi t|c
:c|ca:sal |all. lt was iu¡ossi|lc to sta:t t|c ca,`s wo:|. Wc s¡o|c u:cc:tai:l, a:c iuu|li:gl,,
t:,i:g to gct t|:oug| to cac| ot|c:. ·ouco:c was c:,i:g. ·u: ¡:oicssio: |ccoucs so ¡cculia:
w|c: :calit, suas|cs its wa, i: a:c uassac:cs ou: illuso:, gaucs. W|c: Gc:ua:, occu¡icc
:o:wa, a:c Dc:ua:|, u, auatcu: t|cat:c was to |avc ¡ut o: Mo./e·| i: t|c |all oi ·vca¡la:,
sc|ool. Wc |ac co:st:uctcc a: iuitatio: stagc a:c |ac |cc: wo:|i:g io: a ,ca:. I|c sc|ool |ccauc
a ga::iso: a:c uost oi us wc:c callcc u¡, |ut io: souc u:iat|oua|lc :caso: wc wc:c givc:
¡c:uissio: to go a|cac wit| ou: ¡c:io:ua:cc. A:tiai:c:ait gu:s wc:c i:stallcc i: t|c sc|ool
¡la,g:ou:c, t|c iloo:s i: t|c co::ico:s a:c class:oous wc:c covc:cc wit| st:aw a:c t|c ¡lacc was
scct|i:g wit| uo:c o: lcss u:iio:ucc solcic:s. llac|out.
l was ¡la,i:g Du:ca: a:c |ac |cc: givc: ia: too suall a wig. l ¡ai:tcc u, |ai: w|itc wit|
g:casc¡ai:t a:c stuc| a |ca:c o: u, c|i:. :o Du:ca: |as cvc: loo|cc so li|c a goat. lac, \ac|ct|
|ac :cvc: :c|ca:scc wit|out |c: glasscs a:c t:i¡¡cc ovc: |c: gow:. \ac|ct| ic:ccc uo:c wilcl,
t|a: cvc: ;wc |ac |cc: givc: ou: swo:cs at t|c vc:, last ui:utc, a:c |it \accuii o: t|c |cac so
t|at |looc s¡attc:cc i: all ci:cctio:s. lc was ta|c: to |os¡ital aitc: t|c ¡c:io:ua:cc.
lut :ow ·loi laluc |ac |cc: uu:cc:cc. low s|oulc wc |c|avc i: ou: co:iusio:· ·|oulc wc
ca:ccl t|c :c|ca:sal· ·|oulc wc ca:ccl t|c cvc:i:g ¡c:io:ua:cc· lct`s a|a:co: + Ð.eo¬ t!o, io:
cvc:. ·:c ca:`t ¡ut o: a ¡la, a|out souco:c goi:g :ou:c ¡:cac|i:g t|at it is:`t cas, to |c a
|uua: |ci:g`. A: u:c:cu:a|l, outoicatc a:tistic ¡:ocuct, |cautiiul |ut cista:t, ¡c:|a¡s ccac.
\a,|c l`u w:o:g,` saic o:c oi t|c ,ou:gc: act:csscs, |ut l t|i:| wc s|oulc :c|ca:sc. l t|i:|
wc s|oulc go o:. W|ocvc: |illcc laluc wa:tcc c|aos. li wc a|a:co: it, wc |ust acc to t|c c|aos.
Wc lct ou: cuotio:s ta|c ovc:. I|is is souct|i:g uo:c t|a: i:cicc:tal ¡:ivatc iccli:gs. ·|aos
uust:`t cccicc.`
·lowl, a:c |csita:tl,, + Ð.eo¬ t!o, |ccauc a ¡c:io:ua:cc. Wc :c|ca:scc to a: aucic:cc.
·ouctiucs t|c, wc:c attc:tivc a:c c:t|usiastic, souctiucs silc:t a:c wit|c:aw:. A cautious
o¡tiuisu |cga: to colou: ou: c|cc|s. ·ollcagucs wc:c cou¡liuc:ta:,, wc :cccivcc lcttc:s a:c
c:cou:agcuc:t.
lo: t|c ¡:ocucc:, t|c last wcc| oi :c|ca:sals is alwa,s |a:c to c:cu:c. I|c vc:tu:c |as lost its
ccgc, t|c wca:i:css is suiiocati:g, iaults cazzlc ,ou a:c a colc cau¡ i:ciiic:c:cc sits li|c a :cvc:
liiti:g uist o: ,ou: |:ai: a:c ui:c.
l slcc¡ |acl,. calauitics, to:cs oi voicc a:c gcstu:cs ua:c| ¡ast. W:o:gl, ¡laccc lig|ts sta:c
li|c stu:c, scio¡tica: sliccs |cio:c u, c,cs. \, :ig|ts |ccouc lo:g a:c uisc:a|lc. lac| oi slcc¡
cocs:`t wo::, uc. lt`s cuotio:s t|at ti:c uc. W|c:c is t|c i::c:uost iaili:g· ls it i: t|c tcxt itscli,
t|c |:cac| |ctwcc: |:illia:t i:s¡i:atio: a:c ¡:cac|, attituccs, |a:s| |caut, a:c sacc|a:i:c twacclc·
ls t|c ¡la,iul ¡a:oc, i: li:gal`s ·avc |las¡|cuous· \a, o:c :ot laug| at a gia:t cvc: w|c:
laug|i:g aiicctio:atcl,· l uust:`t io:gct to s¡:cac s¡otlig|t t|i:t, six ovc: t|c |cc i: t|c Acvocatc`s
:oou, ot|c:wisc t|c lig|ti:g`s gooc t|c:c, icw lig|ts a:c lots oi atuos¡|c:c. ·vc: :,|vist oug|t to
|c ¡lcascc wit| uc.
Aluost aslcc¡, l scc t|c cows o: t|c ucag:c ¡atc| |clow t|c io:gc sta:i:g at uc, cloucs oi ilics
:ou:c t|ci: uuzzlcs a:c c,cs, t|c littlc uulticolou:cc o:c |as s|o:t ¡oi:tcc |o::s a:c is saic to |c
iic:cc.
I|c:c`s lclga wit| |c: |lousc cau¡ ac:oss |c: |ulgi:g |osou, laug|i:g wit| |c: |ig w|itc
tcct|, a ga¡ i: t|c uicclc w|c:c l:,:oli |as st:uc| |c:. lclga wc:t cow: to t|c :ivc: |a:| a:c
sa:| l:,:oli s |oat, t|c: o¡c:cc a ti: oi a:c|ovics a:c |ic |c|i:c t|c coo:. W|c: l:,:oli cauc
|ac| io: ci::c:, s|c ¡:csscc t|c ti: i:to |c: s¡ousc`s iacc, ¡us|cc it i: a:c twistcc it. l:,:oli
|:ooccc. W|c: |c |ac got |is sig|t |ac|, |c too| |is littlc :ou:c |at a:c sct oii o: ioot to lo:la:gc
wit| |looc ¡ou:i:g cow: |is io:c|cac a:c c|cc|s a:c a:c|ovics |a:gi:g i: |is |ca:c. lc wc:t
st:aig|t to lultg:c: t|c ¡|otog:a¡|c: a:c as|cc to |c ¡|otog:a¡|cc i: |is :ou:c |at a:c
|cs¡attc:cc ovc:alls, |is :osc |looc, a:c a:c|ovics o: |is c|i: a:c c|cc|s. I|at`s w|at |a¡¡c:cc.
lclga was givc: t|c ¡|otog:a¡| as a |i:t|ca, ¡:csc:t. l`ll go to slcc¡, :ow, :ow t|c ala:u cloc|`s
:i:gi:g.
l lic uotio:lcss, wicc awa|c a:c a:xious. l coulc uu:cc:` a:,o:c w|o sa,s a:,t|i:g
u:iavou:a|lc a|out u, acto:s. :ow t|c:c`s t|c c:css :c|ca:sal a:c wc a:c to ¡a:t. I|c, will :cac
t|c ¡a¡c:s t|c ca, aitc: touo::ow cvc: ii t|c, sa, t|c, co:`t, a:c t|c, will |c ca:vcc u¡, ¡attcc,
co:g:atulatcc,, c:cou:agcc, s:u||cc o: uct wit| silc:cc. I|at sauc cvc:i:g, t|c, |avc to go o:
stagc. I|c, |:ow t|c aucic:cc |:ows.
\a:, ,ca:s ago l saw a i:ic:c sta:ci:g i: a co::c:, c:csscc a:c uaccu¡. lc |ac c|cwcc |is
lowc: li¡ so t|at |looc was :u::i:g cow: |is c|i: a:c |c |ac i:ot| i: t|c co::c:s oi |is uout|. lc
was s|a|i:g |is |cac, l`u :ot goi:g o:, a:c l`u :ot goi:g o:. I|c: |c wc:t o:.
I|c c:css :c|ca:sal was i: t|c cvc:i:g o: !+ A¡:il. l: t|c ca,tiuc, wc |ac a uo¬!e· uccti:g, a
w|olc c:owc sitti:g :ou:c a ta|lc ¡la::i:g a ¡:ocuctio:, t|c ¡:cuic:c ¡la::cc io: 1- Dcccu|c:. l
tolc t|cu w|at l t|oug|t, cu¡t, stagc, ¡ossi|l, two c|ai:s, |ut :ot :cccssa:il,. luuo|ilc lig|ts,
:o colou:cc iiltc:s, :o s¡ccial atuos¡|c:ics. A ci:clc oi iivc uct:c :acius wclccc i:to t|c iloo: :ca:
t|c aucic:cc. I|is is w|c:c t|c actio: woulc ta|c ¡lacc. lo:ti:|:as a:c |is uc: |:ca| cow: t|c
coo: i: t|c |ac| wall oi t|c stagc, t|c s:owsto:u |lows i:, t|c |ocics a:c |u:lcc cow: i:to
·¡|clia`s g:avc, laulct is |o:ou:cc i: sco::iul io:ual ¡|:ascs. lo:atio is assassi:atcc.
At souc ¡oi:t l was iu:ious a:c wa:tcc to a|a:co: t|c. ¡:o|cct. \a:, uo:t|s ca:lic:, l |ac
as|cc to |avc l:gva: l|cllso: as t|c g:avcciggc: a:c |c |ac accc¡tcc. I|c:, |c|i:c u, |ac|,
l|cllso: |ac uovcc o: |cc: uovcc i:to a ua|o: ¡a:t i: a:ot|c: ¡:ocuctio:. A ,ou:g acto: sca:ccl,
c:, |c|i:c t|c ca:s saic |c was t|i:|i:g oi :cqucsti:g ¡atc::it, lcavc. A t|i:c acto: |ac |cc: ta|c:
out oi u, cast o: a: ultiuatuu i:ou a visiti:g ¡:ocucc:. A s¡i:clcss |ut talc:tcc ,out| cic :ot
wa:t to ¡la, Guilcc:stc::. You:g uc: o: t|ci: wa, u¡ co :ot li|c sta:ci:g |csicc a laulct oi
t|ci: ow: agc o: cvc: ,ou:gc:. I|c, |avc iits a:c iuagi:a:, ¡:o|lcus, t|c, cvc: :cucu|c: t|ci:
:cw|o:: so:s. :o: was it a:, lo:gc: so iu¡o:ta:t to |cc¡ i: wit| lc:gua:. lc`c sto¡¡cc ua|i:g
iilus.
At t|c sauc tiuc l u:cc:stooc, oi cou:sc l u:cc:stooc, l iou:c it cas, to u:cc:sta:c. A: acto: is
closcst to |iuscli, |c squi:us a:c c|a:gcs cou:sc s¡cculatcs a:c wcig|s t|i:gs u¡. l u:cc:stooc,
|ut was iu:ious all t|c sauc. l :cucu|c:cc w|c: Ali ·|o|c:g was goi:g to |cat uc u¡ |ccausc l
|ac ta|c: \a:ga:ct|a l,st:ou out oi |is +!.e··.·. I|c ¡:csc:t situatio: was siuila:. At ·|o|c:g`s
iu:c:al, o:c oi t|c ucu|c:s oi t|c t|cat:c |oa:c tu::cc to o:c oi t|c acto:s :c¡:csc:ti:g t|c
t|cat:c a:c saic. ·o:g:atulatio:s. :ow ,ou`vc o:c ¡:ocucc: ¡:o|lcu icwc: at D:auatc:.` l
:cucu|c:cc |ow l |ac cisuisscc ·loi \ola:cc:. \ust |avc t|c sc:sc to givc u¡ a:c lcavc i: tiuc.
W|c: cocs i: tiuc` couc· las i: tiuc` al:cac, couc·
·: I|u:sca, !+ A¡:il at scvc: i: t|c cvc:i:g ;t|c iact t|at :o o:c was allowcc i: aitc: t|c sta:t
oi t|c ¡c:io:ua:cc |ac |cc: a::ou:ccc i: all t|c ¡a¡c:s,, at last t|c c:css :c|ca:sal sta:tcc. I|c
acto:s sc:scc a slig|t w|iii oi succcss a:c wc:c c|cc:iull, lig|t|ca:tcc. l too| ¡ai:s to s|a:c t|ci:
|a¡¡, cx¡cctatio:s. ·oucw|c:c ccc¡ cow: i: u, co:scious:css l |ac al:cac, :cgistc:cc ou:
iailu:c, :ot t|at l was cissatisiicc wit| ou: ¡c:io:ua:cc, o: t|c co:t:a:,. Aitc: all ou: aiilictio:s, a
ii:stclass, wcll t|oug|t t|:oug| a:c u:cc: t|c .ci:cuusta:ccs wcllactcc ¡c:io:ua:cc was at last
o: stagc. I|c:c was :o :caso: io: scli:c¡:oac|.
:cvc:t|clcss, l al:cac, |:cw ou: vc:tu:c woulc :ot ua|c it.
I|c ¡c:io:ua:cc |cga:. I|c ·ua|o: c|o:c was st:uc| a:c l lcit t|c ·uall ·tagc togct|c: wit|
t|c t|cat:c ua:agc:. As wc cauc out o: to t|c st:cct t|:oug| a :ca: coo:, wc wc:c assailcc |,
¡|otog:a¡|c:s ¡us|i:g a:c lctti:g oii t|ci: ilas|cs. A su:ta::cc souco:c g:as¡cc uc |, t|c
s|oulcc: a:c saic l uust lct |iu i:, |c was tc: ui:utcs latc a:c coulc:`t gct to t|c ¡c:io:ua:cc o:
a:, ot|c: occasio:. lc |ac t:icc to ¡c:suacc t|c coo:uc: w|o, o|c,i:g o:cc:s, |ac :ciuscc. l saic
i::ita|l, t|at l :cit|c: coulc :o: wis|cc to |cl¡ |iu t|at |c o:l, |ac |iuscli to |lauc. I|c: l
:ccog:izcc t|c ccito: oi t|c :·e-·|o Ðo¸/!o1e·· a:ts ¡agc, w|o was also its t|cat:c c:itic. Wit| a:
attcu¡t at i:ic:cli:css, l acccc t|at |c uust u:cc:sta:c a:c:cs¡cct t|c :ulcs. At t|c sauc tiuc l
|ac a: i::csisti|lc ccsi:c to |it |iu. lc was su¡¡oscc to |c t|c:c i: |is ¡:oicssio:al ca¡acit, a:c
|ac a::ivcc latc. lc |ac also |cc: tactlcss c:oug| to assail t|c ci:ccto: wit| ccua:cs to |c lct i:.
lc wc:t awa,. ·c:si:g lasti:g ¡c:sccutio: |, t|c a:ts ¡agc oi :·e-·|o Ðo¸/!o1e·, l :a: aitc: t|c
i:iu:iatcc ua: a:c iou:c |iu a scat.
A: u:iu¡o:ta:t c¡isocc |ac ii:all, co:ii:ucc u, iccli:g oi uttc: cc|cctio:. \, ii:st stagc
ccsig:c:`s stouac| ulcc: a:c ccicctio:. lc:a ·li:`s ¡:cg:a:c,, :clucta:t solutio:s, t|c ilat acti:g
i: t|c uicclc oi :c|ca:sal tiuc, u, i:iluc:za a:c attac|cc cc¡:cssio:, ou: tcc|:ical calauitics, t|c
casti:g oi uo¬!e·, t|c oiic:ccc a:ts ccito:. A:c o: to¡ oi t|at, t|c assassi:atio: oi ·loi laluc,
tcu¡o:a:il, o: io: cvc: c|a:gi:g t|c lig|t a:ou:c ou: ciio:ts. All t|osc togct|c:, ui:o: as wcll as
ua|o:, |ac c:catcc i:sig|t. l |:cw |ow it woulc go.
Aitc: t|c c:css :c|ca:sal, wc asscu|lcc i: o:c oi t|c :cw :c|ca:sal :oous a|ovc t|c ·uall ·tagc
io: sa:cwic|cs a:c c|au¡ag:c. I|c atuos¡|c:c was |a¡¡,, |ut also ucla:c|ol,. lt is alwa,s |a:c
to ¡a:t cou¡a:, aitc: a lo:g a:c closc associatio:. l iclt a |cl¡lcss lovc io: t|csc ¡co¡lc. I|c
uu|ilical co:c |ac |cc: cut, |ut u, w|olc |oc, |u:t. Wc tal|cc a|out A:c:zc| Wa|ca`s 1|e
c.-1o.·.. i: w|ic| |c s|ows t|at ,ou ca:`t ua|c uusic wit|out lovc. l: t|c cuotio:al |ig| tc:sio:
oi t|c uouc:t, wc ag:ccc t|at ,ou cc:tai:l, ca: ua|c t|cat:c wit|out lovc, |ut it :cit|c: livcc :o:
|:cat|cc. Wit|out lovc, it cocs:`t wo:|. Wit| :o ,.o, :o l. Wc |ac i:cccc cx¡c:ic:ccc |:illia:t
t|cat:c, g:owi:g out oi o:giastic |at:cc, |ut t|c |at:cc is also co:tact a:c t|c lovc |ust as acutc as
t|c |at:cc. Wc ¡o:cc:cc o: it a:c iou:c cxau¡lcs.
I|c ca:clcs o: t|c ta|lcs |u::t cow: a:c ilic|c:cc, ca:clc g:casc c:i||li:g. lt was tiuc to ¡a:t.
Wc cu|:accc a:c |isscc cac| ot|c: as ii wc wc:c :cvc: to ucct agai:. Wc woulc ucct t|c :cxt
uo::i:g, io: ·|:ist`s sa|c, wc saic a:c laug|cc. I|c ¡:cuic:c was t|c :cxt ca,.
lo: t|c ii:st tiuc i: u, ¡:oicssio:al liic, l g:icvcc ovc: a iailu:c io: uo:c t|a: io:t,cig|t |ou:s.
usuall, o:c coulc co:solc o:cscli wit| iull |ouscs. I|c attc:ca:cc at t|c ·uall ·tagc`s io:t,
¡c:io:ua:ccs was :ot |ac |ut i:suiiicic:t. ·o uuc| ciio:t, ¡ai:, a:xict,, tcciuu, |o¡c, all to :o
avail.

.
I|c suuuc: |ousc i: Dala::a was callcc Va:ous`, a cialcct wo:c uca:i:g ·u:s
1
. l wc:t
t|c:c t|c ii:st uo:t| oi u, liic a:c still cwcll t|c:c i: u, ucuo:,. lt is alwa,s suuuc:, t|c |ugc
cou|lc |i:c|cs :ustli:g, t|c |cat s|iuuc:i:g a|ovc t|c |ills, ¡co¡lc i: lig|t clot|cs o: t|c tc::acc,
t|c wi:cows o¡c:, souco:c ¡la,i:g t|c ¡ia:o, c:oquct |alls :olli:g, goocs t:ai:s s|u:ti:g a:c
sig:alli:g ia: cow: t|c:c i: Duua`s statio:, t|c :ivc: ilowi:g |lac| a:c scc:ctivc cvc: o: |:ig|tcst
ca,s, t|c icllcc tiu|c: iloati:g i:colc:tl, o: ci:cli:g swiitl,. I|c:c is t|c i:ag:a:cc oi lil,oit|c
vallc,, a:t |ca¡s a:c :oast vcal. I|c c|ilc:c: all |avc g:azcc |:ccs a:c cl|ows. Wc |at|c i: t|c
:ivc: o: i: t|c la|c, ·va:ts|o:, wc lca:: to swiu ,ou:g, io: |ot| ¡laccs |avc t:cac|c:ousl, sogg,
cla, |ccs a:c succc: lccgcs.
\ot|c: |ac cu¡lo,cc a ,ou:g gi:l i:ou t|c cist:ict w|osc :auc was li::ca. ·|c was quict,
|i:cl, a:c uscc to ,ou:gc: |:ot|c:s a:c sistc:s. l was six ,ca:s olc a:c aco:cc |c: c|cc:iul suilc,
|c: w|itc s|i: a:c uass oi :cccis|iai: |ai:, l o|c,cc |c: slig|tcst w|iu a:c ¡ic|cc c|ai:s oi wilc
st:aw|c::ics to ¡lcasc |c:. ·|c taug|t uc to swiu. ·|c |c:scli was a gooc swiuuc: a:c w|c: wc
wc:t swiuui:g alo:c togct|c:, s|c ouittcc to ¡ut o: |c: cluus, |lac| |at|i:g costuuc, a |a|it l
a¡¡:cciatcc. ·|c was tall a:c t|i:, wit| |:oac i:cc|lcc s|oulcc:s a:c |a:c suall |:casts. lc: ¡u|ic
|ai: was a ilaui:g :cc. l |avc :cvc: swuu as uuc| as l cic t|at suuuc:. \, tcct| c|attc:cc, u,
li¡s tu::cc |luc, a:c s|c uacc a tc:t out oi a |ig |at| towcl u:cc: w|ic| wc wa:ucc ou:sclvcs.
·:c cvc:i:g i: ·c¡tcu|c:, |ust |cio:c wc wc:c to :ctu:: to ·toc||olu, l wc:t out i:to t|c
|itc|c:, w|c:c li::ca was sitti:g at t|c ta|lc, a coiicc cu¡ i: i:o:t oi |c:. ·|c |ac :ot cvc:
|ot|c:cc to lig|t t|c ¡a:aiii: lau¡. ·|c was :csti:g |c: |cac o: o:c |a:c a:c was wcc¡i:g
¡:oiuscl,, |ut silc:tl,. l was tc::iiicc a:c ilu:g u, a:us :ou:c |c:, |ut s|c ¡us|cc uc awa,,
souct|i:g s|c |ac :cvc: co:c |cio:c, so l sta:tcc c:,i:g too, io: cvc:,t|i:g sccucc uisc:a|lc. l
wa:tcc |c: to sto¡ c:,i:g at o:cc a:c to co:solc uc, |ut s|c ig:o:cc uc.
W|c: wc lcit Va:ous a icw ca,s latc:, s|c cic :ot accou¡a:, us to ·toc||olu. l as|cc \ot|c:
w|, a:c was givc: cvasivc a:swc:s.
lo:t, ,ca:s latc:, l as|cc \ot|c: w|at |ac |a¡¡c:cc to li::ca. ·|c tolc uc t|at t|c gi:l |ac
|cc: ¡:cg:a:t a:c t|c ua: |ac cc:icc ¡atc::it,. As a ¡asto:`s iauil, coulc |a:cl, |ousc a ¡:cg:a:t
sc:va:t gi:l, lat|c: was io:ccc to cisuiss |c:, ccs¡itc \ot|c:`s violc:t ¡:otcsts. G:a:cuot|c:
wa:tcc to i:tc:vc:c to |cl¡ t|c gi:l, |ut s|c |ac al:cac, cisa¡¡ca:cc. A icw uo:t|s latc:, s|c was
iou:c :ca: t|c :ailwa, statio:, wccgcc u:cc: a su:|c: log wit| a co:tusio: o: |c: io:c|cac. I|c
¡olicc assuucc s|c |ac t|:ow: |c:scli oii t|c |:icgc.
Duua`s :ailwa, statio: co:sistcc oi a :cc statio: |uilci:g wit| w|itc co::c:s a:c ga|lcs, a ¡:iv,
la|cllcc \c:` a:c Wouc:`, two sig:als, two s|u:ti:g t:ac|s, a goocs wa:c|ousc, a sto:claic
¡latio:u a:c a: u:cc:g:ou:c cclla: wit| wilc st:aw|c::ics g:owi:g o: its tu:i :ooi. I|c uai: t:ac|
cu:vcc awa, towa:cs t|c |ccl oi D|u:uo, ¡ast Va:ous, w|ic| was visi|lc i:ou t|c statio:. A icw
|u:c:cc uct:cs to t|c sout|, t|c :ivc: c|a:gcc ci:cctio: i: a uig|t, cu:vc callcc G:aca:, a
ca:gc:ous ¡lacc oi ccc¡ w|i:l¡ools a:c |aggcc ¡:ot:uci:g :oc|s. lig| a|ovc t|c cu:vc oi t|c :ivc:
:osc t|c :ailwa, |:icgc wit| its :a::ow ioot¡at| o: t|c :ig|t. lt was io:|iccc: to c:oss t|c |:icgc,
|ut :o o:c too| a:, :oticc oi t|is |ccausc it was t|c quic|cst :outc to t|c wcalt| oi iis| i:
·va:ts|o:.
I|c statio:uastc:`s :auc was l:icsso:. Wit| |is wiic, w|o suiic:cc i:ou goit:c, |c |ac livcc i:
t|c statio:|ousc io: twc:t, ,ca:s a:c was :cga:ccc as a :cwcouc: to t|c villagc, to |c t:catcc
wit| sus¡icio:. A g:cat ua:, silc:ccs su::ou:ccc u:clc l:icsso:.
l |ac G:a:cuot|c:`s ¡c:uissio: to |c o: t|c statio:. u:clc l:icsso: was :cvc: co:sultcc, |ut
|c t:catcc uc wit| a|sc:tui:ccc i:ic:cli:css. lis oiiicc suclt oi ¡i¡c suo|c, slcc¡, ilics |uzzcc
o: t|c wi:cows, a:c :ow a:c agai: t|c tclcg:a¡| ta¡¡cc a:c a :a::ow :i||o: iull oi cots a:c
cas|cs cuc:gcc. u:clc l:icsso: sat ovc: |is ccs| w:iti:g i: |lac| |oo|s a:c so:ti:g i:cig|t io:us.
·ccasio:all, souco:c |a:gcc o: t|c |atc| t|:oug| to t|c waiti:g :oou a:c |oug|t a tic|ct to
kc¡|ac|c:, l:s|o: o: lo:la:gc. I|c silc:cc was t|at oi ctc::it, a:c as cig:iiicc. l cic :ot cistu:| it
wit| u::cccssa:, tal|.
lut succc:l, t|c tclc¡|o:c woulc :i:g, a |:ici ucssagc, t|c t:ai: i:ou l:,l|o |ac lcit
la::|ccc:, a:c u:clc l:icsso: uuttc:cc souct|i:g i: :c¡l,, ¡ut o: |is u:iio:u ca¡, ¡ic|cc u¡ |is
:cc ilag, wc:t out a:c wou:c u¡ t|c sout| sig:al. I|c:c was :o o:c i: sig|t. I|c |ot st:o:g
su:lig|t was :cilcctcc oii t|c goocssto:c wall a:c t|c :ails, a:c t|c:c was a sucll oi ta: a:c i:o:.
·vc: |, t|c |:icgc, t|c :ivc: uu:uu:cc, t|c |cat t:cu|lcc a|ovc t|c oililcc|cc slcc¡c:s a:c t|c
sto:cs s¡a:|lcc. ·ilc:cc a:c cx¡cctatio:. u:clc l:icsso:`s cat |ac scttlcc o: t|c statio: t:ollc,.
I|c: t|c locouotivc w|istlcc ovc: t|c cu:vc |cio:c la:gs|o: a:c ia: awa, t|c t:ai: a¡¡ca:cc
li|c a |lac| |lot i: t|c |cav, g:cc:c:,, at ii:st aluost sou:clcssl,, t|c: wit| a :isi:g t|u:cc:, t|c:
it was out ovc: t|c :ivc:, t|c t|u:cc: ccc¡c:i:g, t|c ¡oi:ts c:as|cc, t|c g:ou:c s|oo| a:c t|c
locouotivc :accc ¡ast t|c ¡latio:u, :|,t|uical cloucs oi suo|c ¡uiii:g out oi its stac|, t|c ¡isto:s
stcaui:g. I|c wago:s :us|cc |,, t|c s¡ccc oi t|ci: ¡assi:g lcavi:g a wi:c |lowi:g i: t|ci: wa|c,
t|c w|ccls st:i|i:g t|c :ails, t|c g:ou:c s|a|i:g. u:clc l:icsso: salutcc t|c t:ai: c:ivc:, w|o
:c¡licc li|cwisc. Wit|i: a icw uouc:ts t|c sou:c iaccc a:c t|c t:ai: cu:vcc :ou:c |clow Va:ous
a:c va:is|cc |clow t|c uou:tai:, w|istli:g :ow at t|c sawuill. I|c: all was silc:t agai:.
u:clc l:icsso: wou:c t|c tclc¡|o:c |a:clc a:c saic, Dc¡a:tcc Duua`s two t|i:t,t|:cc.` I|c
silc:cc was cou¡lctc, t|c ilics :ot cvc: |ot|c:i:g to |uzz agai:st t|c wi:cow¡a:cs. u:clc l:icsso:
:ct:catcc u¡ to t|c ii:st iloo: io: |is ci::c: a:c a :a¡ |cio:c t|c sout||ou:c goocs t:ai: a::ivcc
souctiuc |ctwcc: iou: a:c iivc. I|at t:ai: was :cvc: ¡u:ctual |ccausc it switc|cc wago:s at
aluost cvc:, statio:.
·: t|c :oac u¡ to t|c statio: was a |lac|suit|`s io:gc w|osc occu¡ic: loo|cc li|c a \o:gol
c|icitai:. lc was ua::icc to a still |cautiiul |ut cx|austcc woua: callcc lclga. I|c, |ac a g:cat
ua:, c|ilc:c: a:c livcc i: two suall :oous a|ovc t|c suit|,, w|c:c cvc:,t|i:g was ciso:cc:cc
|ut i:ic:cl,. \, |:ot|c: a:c l li|cc ¡la,i:g wit| t|c |lac|suit|`s c|ilc:c:. lclga was still |:cast
iccci:g |c: ,ou:gcst a:c, w|c: t|c |a|, |o, |ac |ac |is iill, s|c woulc call ovc: to u, ¡la,uatc,
w|o was t|c sauc agc as uc, sa,i:g ·ouc o:, ¡o:tc, couc a:c gct ,ou:s.` l woulc loo| o: wit|
c:v, w|ilc u, i:ic:c stooc |ctwcc: |is uot|c:`s |:ccs. ·|c |clc out |c: |cav, |:cast a:c |c lca:t
io:wa:c a:c suc|cc g:cccil, at it. l as|cc ii l uig|t |avc a tastc, |ut lclga laug|cc a:c saic l woulc
¡:o|a|l, |avc to as| \:s A|c:|lou io: ¡c:uissio: ii:st. \:s A|c:|lou was u, g:a:cuot|c:, a:c l
:calizcc wit| s|auc t|at l |ac stuu|lcc ovc: o:c oi t|osc i:cou¡:c|c:si|lc :ulcs t|at |c¡t ¡ili:g
u¡ i: u, ¡at|.
A uouc:ta:, iuagc: l au l,i:g i: u, |cc wit| its |ig| c:cs, it is cvc:i:g. I|c :ig|tlig|t is o:.
l`u ¡lcasu:a|l, occu¡icc squcczi:g a sausagc |ctwcc: u, |a:cs. lt is soit a:c uallca|lc a:c suclls
i:tiuatc. ·uccc:l, l t|:ow it out o: to t|c iloo: a:c cxcitccl, call out io: li::ca, t|c :u:scuaic.
I|c coo: o¡c:s a:c lat|c: coucs i:. lc sta:cs t|c:c, la:gc a:c ca:| agai:st t|c lig|t i:ou t|c |all,
¡oi:ts at t|c sausagc a:c as|s w|at o: ca:t| it is. l loo| u¡ a:c wit| t:cu|li:g |ca:t :c¡l, t|at l
co:`t t|i:| it`s a:,t|i:g at all. :cxt scc:c. u, |ottou |as |cc: wcll a:c t:ul, s¡a:|cc a:c l au
sitti:g ,clli:g loucl, o: t|c ¡ot i: t|c uicclc oi t|c iloo:. I|c ccili:g lig|t is o: a:c li::ca is
a:g:il, c|a:gi:g t|c s|ccts o: u, |cc.
·cc:cts. ·uccc: silc:ccs. Vaguc ¡|,sical cisquict. A:c ·|.·e qualus oi co:scic:cc, as l:c:a`s
Daug|tc: sa,s i: + Ð.eo¬ t!o,· W|at |avc l co:c· l as| i: tc::o:. You |:ow t|at |cst ,ou:scli,
a:swc:s Aut|o:it,. ·i cou:sc l`vc si::cc. I|c:c`s alwa,s souc u:ciscovc:cc uisccuca:ou:
g:awi:g at uc. Wc`vc sat squcczcc i: |, t|c ¡:iv, tu|s s¡,i:g o: |ac|siccs. Wc`vc stolc: :aisi:s
i:ou t|c s¡icc cu¡|oa:c. Wc`vc |cc: swiuui:g i: ccc¡ w|i:l¡ools cow: |, t|c :ailwa, statio:.
Wc`vc stolc: suall c|a:gc i:ou lat|c:`s ovc:coat. Wc`vc |las¡|cucc agai:st Goc |, cxc|a:gi:g
lis :auc wit| ·ata:`s i: t|c llcssi:g. ·ata: |lcss us a:c |cc¡ us, ·ata: tu:: |is iacc u¡o: us a:c
givc us a iuc|. Wc` wc:c u, |:ot|c: a:c l, occasio:all, u:itcc i: couuo: actio:s, |ut uo:c oitc:
|c¡t a¡a:t |, a co::oci:g |at:cc. Dag co:sicc:cc l licc a:c got awa, wit| it, a:c also t|at l was
s¡oilt |ccausc l |a¡¡c:cc to |c lat|c:`s iavou:itc. l t|oug|t u, |:ot|c:, iou: ,ca:s olcc: t|a: l
was, |ac u:iai: acva:tagcs. lc was allowcc u¡ latc i: t|c cvc:i:gs a:c coulc go to iilus |a::cc to
c|ilc:c:. lc uscc to |cat uc u¡ w|c:cvc: it suitcc |iu. l cic :ot u:cc:sta:c u:til uuc| latc: t|at
|c was co:sta:tl, cx¡oscc to u, iat|c:`s |calous cisli|c.
l:atc::al |at:cc aluost lcc to i:at:icicc. Dag |ac ualt:catcc uc |acl, a:c l was cctc:ui:cc o:
:cvc:gc, w|atcvc: t|c cost.
l scizcc a |cav, glass ca:aic, cliu|cc u¡ o: a c|ai: |c|i:c t|c coo: i:to ou: s|a:cc :oou at
Va:ous. W|c: u, |:ot|c: o¡c:cc t|c coo:, l c:as|cc t|c ca:aic cow: o: |is |cac. I|c ca:aic
s|attc:cc, u, |:ot|c: icll wit| |looc ¡ou:i:g out oi a ga¡i:g wou:c. A uo:t| o: so latc:, |c
attac|cc uc wit|out wa::i:g a:c |:oc|cc out two oi u, i:o:t tcct|. l :cs¡o:ccc |, sctti:g lig|t
to |is |cc w|c: |c was aslcc¡. I|c ii:c wc:t out |, itscli a:c |ostilitics tcu¡o:a:il, ccascc.
l: t|c suuuc: oi 1-·+, u, |:ot|c: a:c |is G:cc| wiic cauc o: a visit to u, |ouc o: t|c isla:c
oi la:o. lc was t|c: sixt,:i:c a:c a :cti:cc co:sul gc:c:al. lc |ac cutiiull, sta,cc i: |is ¡ost
ccs¡itc scvc:c ¡a:al,sis. l, :ow |c coulc uovc o:l, |is |cac, |is |:cat|i:g was |c:|, a:c |is
s¡ccc| ciiiicult to u:cc:sta:c. Wc s¡c:t ou: ca,s tal|i:g a|out ou: c|ilc|ooc.
lc :cucu|c:cc uuc| uo:c t|a: l cic. lc s¡o|c oi |is |at:cc oi lat|c: a:c |is st:o:g tics to
\ot|c:. Io |iu, t|c, wc:c still ¡a:c:ts, u,stc:ious c:catu:cs, ca¡:icious, i:cou¡:c|c:si|lc a:c
la:gc: t|a: liic. Wc uacc ou: wa, alo:g ovc:g:ow: ¡at|s a:c sta:cc at cac| ot|c: i: asto:is|uc:t,
two clcc:l, gc:tlcuc:, :ow at a: i:su¡c:a|lc cista:cc i:ou cac| ot|c:. ·u: uutual a:ti¡at|, |ac
go:c, |ut |ac lcit s¡acc io: cu¡ti:css, t|c:c was :o co:tact, :o aiii:it,. \, |:ot|c: wa:tcc to cic,
|ut was at t|c sauc tiuc i:ig|tc:cc oi c,i:g, a :agi:g will to livc |cc¡i:g |is lu:gs a:c |ca:t goi:g.
lc also ¡oi:tcc out t|at |c |ac :o c|a:cc oi couuitti:g suicicc |ccausc |c coulc :ot uovc |is
|a:cs.
I|is st:o:g, a::oga:t, clcvc: ua: |ac co:sta:tl, ta|c: :is|s. lc`c soug|t out ca:gc:, c:|o,cc
liic as iis|c:ua:, io:cst :oauc:. lc was :ut|lcss, scliis|, |uuo:ous, alwa,s i:g:atiati:g wit|
lat|c: ccs¡itc |is |at:cc, alwa,s ticc to \ot|c: ccs¡itc |is cx|austi:g co:ilicts a:c |is attcu¡ts to
i:cc |iuscli.
Io uc, u, |:ot|c:`s ill:css is u:cc:sta:ca|lc, ¡a:al,zcc as |c was |, :agc, ¡a:al,zcc |, two
ovc:w|clui:g twilig|t iigu:cs, suiiocati:g a:c i:cou¡:c|c:si|lc, lat|c: a:c \ot|c:. lc:|a¡s it
s|oulc also |c uc:tio:cc t|at |is co:tcu¡t io: a:t, ¡s,c|oa:al,sis, :cligio: a:c s¡i:itual :calit, was
total. lc was a :atio:al |uua: |ci:g t|:oug| a:c t|:oug|, s¡o|c scvc: la:guagcs a:c |ac a
¡:cic:c:cc io: :caci:g |isto:, a:c ¡olitical |iog:a¡|ics. lc also cictatcc |is auto|iog:a¡|, o: to
ta¡c. l |ac t|c uatc:ial t,¡cc out, it cauc to cig|t |u:c:cc ¡agcs, w:ittc: i: a c:,, |ocula:,
acaccuic st,lc. lc s¡ca|s i: st:aig|tio:wa:c tc:us a|out |is wiic, a:c t|c:c a:c also a icw ¡agcs
a|out \ot|c:, ot|c:wisc it is all su:iacc, sa:casu a:c |ovial i:ciiic:c:cc, liic as a: acvc:tu:c sto:,
wit|out cxcitcuc:t. l: all t|osc cig|t |u:c:cc ¡agcs, t|c:c is :ot o:c li:c a|out |is ill:css. lc
:cvc: cou¡lai:cc, |ut |c ccs¡iscc |is iatc. lc iaccc ¡ai: a:c |uuiliatio: wit| a:g:, iu¡atic:cc,
a:c uacc quitc su:c |c was so u:¡lcasa:t t|at :o o:c coulc cvc: iccl ¡it, io: |iu.
lc cclc|:atcc |is scvc:tict| |i:t|ca, wit| a ¡a:t, at t|c lu|ass, i: At|c:s. lc was vc:, wca|
a:c |is wiic t|oug|t t|c ¡a:t, s|oulc |c ca:ccllcc, |ut |c :ciuscc a:c uacc a |:illia:t s¡ccc| i:
|o:ou: oi |is gucsts. A icw ca,s latc:, |c was ta|c: to |os¡ital, was givc: t|c w:o:g t:catuc:t a:c
cicc cu:i:g a lo:g c:aw:out attac| oi as¡|,xiatio:. lc was co:scious all t|c tiuc, |ut u:a|lc to
s¡ca| as t|c, |ac uacc a |olc i: |is wi:c¡i¡c. As |c coulc :ot couuu:icatc, |c cicc :agi:g a:c
st:uc| cuu|.
\, ,ou:g sistc: \a:ga:cta a:c l got o: quitc wcll togct|c:. ·|c was iou: ,ca:s ,ou:gc: t|a: l,
|ut wc li|cc ¡la,i:g gaucs togct|c: wit| |c: colls a:c wc i:vc:tcc cou¡licatcc sc:ics oi cvc:ts i:
|c: i:gc:iousl, iittccout coll`s |ousc. l: a ¡|otog:a¡| i: t|c iauil, al|uu, l scc a suall :ou:c
littlc ¡c:so: wit| as||lo:cc |ai: a:c tc::iiicc wicco¡c: c,cs. All is sc:sitivit,, i:ou |c: soit
uout| to t|c u:cc:tai:t, oi |c: |a:cs. ·|c was g:catl, lovcc |, |ot| ¡a:c:ts a:c attcu¡tcc to
ucct t|cu |aliwa,, t:,i:g to |c t|c gc:tlc c|ilc to cou¡c:satc io: two ciiiicult, u::ul, |o,s.
\, c|ilc|ooc ucuo:ics oi \a:ga:cta a:c o|scu:c a:c |cc¡ cluci:g uc. Wc uacc a to, t|cat:c.
·|c scwcc t|c costuucs a:c l ¡ai:tcc t|c scts. \ot|c: was a ¡atic:t a:c, i:tc:cstcc s¡cctato: a:c
gavc us a lovcl, cu|:oicc:cc vclvct cu:tai:. Wc ¡la,cc quictl, wit| gooc |uuou:. l co:`t t|i:|
wc cvc: qua::cllcc.
W|c: l was clcvc: a:c u, sistc: scvc:, wc s¡c:t a suuuc: at la:ga:gc:, |ust outsicc
·toc||olu. \ot|c: |ac |ac a ua|o: o¡c:atio: a:c was i: ·o¡|ia|cuuct io: scvc:al uo:t|s. lat|c:
wa:tcc us :ca:|,, a:c a gc:tlc |ousc|cc¡c:, w|o was :call, a ¡:iua:, sc|ool tcac|c:, was
c:gagcc. \, sistc: a:c l wc:c lcit vc:, uuc| to ou:sclvcs. I|c:c was a: olc |at||ousc iaci:g ovc:
t|c watc:, i:sicc it a c|a:gi:g :oou a:c a: outc: :oou wit| :o ccili:g |ut wit| a |at|i:g ¡ool. Wc
s¡c:t |ou:s t|c:c ¡la,i:g ou: ciiiusc guilt:iccc: gaucs, |ut t|c:, wit|out a:, cx¡la:atio: o:
qucstio:s as|cc, wc wc:c succc:l, io:|iccc: to |c alo:c i: t|c |at||ousc.
\a:ga:cta |ccauc uo:c a:c uo:c a|so:|cc i: |c: :clatio:s|i¡s wit| t|c ¡a:c:ts a:c s|c a:c l
lost co:tact. W|c: l was :i:ctcc:, l :a: awa, i:ou |ouc a:c si:cc t|c: wc |avc |a:cl, cvc: uct.
\a:ga:cta uai:tai:s s|c o:cc s|owcc uc a: attcu¡t at w:iti:g, w|ic| i: u, ,out|iul ig:o:a:cc l
c:iticall, to:c to s|:ccs, l u,scli |avc :o ucuo:, oi t|is. :owaca,s s|c w:itcs a |oo| i:ou tiuc to
tiuc. li l |avc u:cc:stooc :ig|tl, w|at l |avc :cac, |c: liic uust |avc |cc: s|cc: |cll.
Wc occasio:all, tal| to cac| ot|c: o: t|c tclc¡|o:c a:c wc o:cc uct u:cx¡cctccl, at a
co:cc:t. lc: to:uc:tcc iacc a:c ¡cculia: to:clcss voicc i:ig|tc:cc uc a:c uacc uc iccl ill at casc.
l |avc occasio:all, t|oug|t a|out u, sistc: wit| |:ici qualus oi co:scic:cc. ·|c sta:tcc w:iti:g
i: scc:ct a:c :o o:c was allowcc to scc w|at s|c |ac ac|icvcc. ·|c ii:all, ¡luc|cc u¡ |c: cou:agc
a:c lct uc :cac it. l was i: a qua:ca:,. l was |ci:g iavou:a|l, :cccivcc as a ¡:ouisi:g ,ou:g
¡:ocucc: |ut co:ccu:cc as a w:itc:. l w:otc |acl,, aiicctccl, a:c was uuc| i:iluc:ccc |,
l|alua: lc:gua: a:c ·t:i:c|c:g. I|c: l iou:c t|c sauc st:ai:cc, la|ou:cc st,lc i: u, sistc:`s
w:iti:g a:c uu:cc:cc |c: attcu¡t wit|out :ccog:izi:g t|at t|is was |c: o:l, uca:s oi cx¡:cssio:.
Acco:ci:g to |c: ow: wo:cs, s|c t|c: gavc u¡ w:iti:g, w|ct|c: to ¡u:is| uc o: |c:scli, o: i:ou
ciscou:agcuc:t, l co :ot |:ow.

o
\, cccisio: to givc u¡ t|c uovic cauc:a was u:c:auatic a:c g:cw out oi u, wo:| o: to--,
o-1 +!e·o-1e.. W|ct|c: it was u, |oc, :uli:g ovc: u, soul, o: u, soul i:iluc:ci:g u, |oc,, l
co:`t |:ow, |ut ¡|,sical cist:css |ccauc uo:c a:c uo:c ciiiicult to ovc:couc.
l: t|c suuuc: oi 1-·., l |ac w|at l t|oug|t was a ca¡tivati:g icca io: a iilu. l woulc a¡¡:oac|
t|c wo:lc oi silc:t iilu, wo:|i:g i: lo:g scctio:s wit| :o cialoguc o: acoustic ciiccts, at last l saw a
c|a:cc to |:ca| wit| t|c tal|ics.
l at o:cc sta:tcc w:iti:g t|c sc:i¡t. Io ¡ut it ucloc:auaticall,, l |ac o:cc agai: |cc: touc|cc
|, G:acc. I|c ccsi:c was t|c:c a:c u, ca,s wc:c iillcc wit| a |i:c oi scc:ct co:tc:tuc:t, su:c
cvicc:cc oi stu:c, visio:.
Aitc: t|:cc wcc|s oi gooc wo:|, l succc:l, icll violc:tl, ill. \, |oc, :cactcc wit| c:au¡s a:c
ciso:cc:s oi |ala:cc. l sccucc to |avc |cc: ¡oiso:cc a:c was :c:t wit| a:guis| a:c co:tcu¡t i:
t|c ¡:csc:cc oi u, uisc:,. l :calizcc l woulc :cvc: agai: ua|c a iilu. \, |oc, was :ciusi:g to
coo¡c:atc a:c t|c co:ti:uous tc:sio: t|at is ¡a:t oi iiluua|i:g was :ow a t|i:g oi t|c ¡ast. l ¡ut
asicc t|c ua:usc:i¡t, i: w|ic| l uacc li:: louiusc:ic|, a c|a:actc: i:ou a :u:sc:, :|,uc, i:to a:
a:o:,uous olc ua|c: oi silc:t uovics, w|osc ccca,i:g iilus wc:c iou:c i: cou:tlcss uctal
casscttcs u:cc::cat| a cou:t:, |ousc a|out to |c :csto:cc. A ciul, ¡c:ccivcc co::cctio: :a:
|ctwcc: t|csc iuagcs, a ccaia:ccuu| cx¡c:t t:,i:g to :cac t|c acto:s` li¡s i: o:cc: to i:tc:¡:ct
t|ci: li:cs. All |i:cs oi uo:tagc wc:c t:icc :csulti:g i: va:ious actio: scquc:ccs. I|c ¡:o|cct
i:volvcc uo:c a:c uo:c ¡co¡lc, g:cw a:c t|:ivcc, costi:g uo:c a:c uo:c uo:c,. lt |ccauc uo:c
a:c uo:c ciiiicult to |a:clc. ·:c ca,, it all caug|t ii:c, t|c :it:atc o:igi:al as wcll as t|c acctatc
co¡ics, a:c t|c w|olc lot wc:t u¡ i: suo|c. I|c :clici was u:ivc:sal.
l |avc alwa,s suiic:cc i:ou w|at is callcc a :c:vous stouac|, a calauit, as ioolis| as it is
|uuiliati:g. Wit| a :cvc:c||i:g a:c oitc: so¡|isticatcc wcalt| oi i:vc:tio:, u, |owcls |avc
sa|otagcc u, ciio:ts. I|us sc|ool was a: u::cuitti:g uisc:,, as l coulc :cvc: calculatc w|c: t|c
attac|s wc:c goi:g to |it uc. ·uccc:l, s|itti:g i: ,ou: t:ousc:s is a t:auuatic cx¡c:ic:cc. lt cocs
:ot |avc to |a¡¡c: oitc: io: it to |ccouc a co:sta:t wo::,. I|c attac| coucs li|c lig|t:i:g a:c
wit|out wa::i:g a:c t|c ¡ai: is |a:c to c:cu:c.
·vc: t|c ,ca:s l |avc ¡atic:tl, taug|t u,scli to uastc: u, t:ou|lcs suiiicic:tl, to |c a|lc to
ca::, o: wo:|i:g wit|out all too o|vious cistu:|a:ccs. lt is li|c |ousi:g a: cvil ccuo: i: t|c uost
sc:sitivc co:c oi ,ou: |oc,. Wit| st:ict :ituals, l ca: |cc¡ u, ccuo: u:cc: co:t:ol. lis ¡owc:
lcssc:cc co:sicc:a|l, w|c: i was t|c o:c to cccicc o: u, actio:s, :ot |.¬.
:o uccicauc:ts |cl¡, as t|c, cit|c: causc a¡at|, o: a::ivc too latc. A wisc cocto: o:cc tolc uc
to accc¡t u, |a:cica¡ a:c aca¡t. I|at is w|at l |avc co:c. l: all t|c t|cat:cs l |avc wo:|cc i: io:
a:, lc:gt| oi tiuc, l |avc |cc: givc: u, ow: lavato:,. I|csc co:vc:ic:ccs a:c ¡:o|a|l, u, uost
lasti:g co:t:i|utio: to t|c |isto:, oi t|c t|cat:c.
lo: uo:c t|a: twc:t, ,ca:s, l |avc suiic:cc i:ou c|:o:ic i:sou:ia. I|at is :ot|i:g |a:uiul as
suc|, io: ,ou ca: ua:agc wit| co:sicc:a|l, lcss slcc¡ t|a: ,ou iuagi:c, iivc |ou:s |ci:g quitc
suiiicic:t io: uc. I|c wca: a:c tca: coucs wit| t|c vul:c:a|ilit, oi :ig|t, t|c altc:cc ¡:o¡o:tio:s,
t|c |a:¡i:g o: stu¡ic o: |uuiliati:g situatio:s, :cg:cts ovc: t|oug|tlcss o: ccli|c:atc ualicc.
lloc|s oi |lac| |i:cs oitc: couc a:c |cc¡ uc cou¡a:,. a:xict,, :agc, s|auc, :cg:ct a:c |o:ccou.
lvc: io: i:sou:ia, t|c:c a:c :ituals. c|a:gi:g |ccs, switc|i:g o: t|c lig|t, :caci:g a |oo|, listc:i:g
to uusic, cati:g |iscuits o: c|ocolatc, c:i:|i:g ui:c:al watc:. A wclltiucc Valiuu ca: |c
cxt:cucl, ciicctivc, |ut ua, also |c ccvastati:g, :csulti:g i: ¡ctula:cc a:c :ci:io:ccc a:xict,.
I|c t|i:c :caso: io: u, cccisio: was agci:g, a ¡:occss l :cit|c: :cg:ct :o: cclig|t i:. ·olvi:g
¡:o|lcus |ccauc uo:c sluggis|, stagi:g causcc g:catc: wo::ics, cccisio:s too| lo:gc: a:c l
|ccauc ¡a:al,zcc |, u:io:cscc: ¡:actical ciiiicultics.
Wit| cx|austio:, l also |ccauc uo:c ¡cca:tic, t|c wca:ic:, t|c g:uu¡ic:. \, sc:scs wc:c
s|a:¡c:cc to a ii:c ¡oi:t a:c l saw iaults cvc:,w|c:c.
l sc:uti:izcc u, uo:c :ccc:t iilus a:c ¡:ocuctio:s a:c |c:c a:c t|c:c iou:c a ¡c:icctio:ist
:cst:ictio: w|ic| |ac c:ivc: out liic a:c s¡i:it. I|c ca:gc: was :ot so g:cat i: t|c t|cat:c, w|c:c l
coulc |cc¡ a: c,c o: u, wca|:css, a:c at wo:st t|c acto:s coulc ¡ut uc :ig|t. l: iilu, cvc:,t|i:g
is i::ct:icva|lc. I|:cc ui:utcs oi cou¡lctcc iilu cac| ca,, all oi w|ic| uust livc, |:cat|c, |c a
c:catio:.
·ouctiucs l ¡c:ccivcc clca:l,, aluost ¡|,sicall,, a ¡:iucval uo:stc:, |ali|cast, |aliua:,
uovi:g i:sicc uc to w|ic| l was a|out to givc |i:t|. ·:c uo::i:g l was c|cwi:g o: a :oug| cvil
suclli:g |ca:c. l |ac a: i:|li:g oi a twilig|t w|ic| |ac :ot|i:g to co wit| ccat|, |ut wit|
cxti:ctio:. ·ouctiucs l c:caut l was losi:g u, tcct| a:c was s¡itti:g out wo:: ,cllow stuu¡s.
l ccciccc to :ct:cat |cio:c u, acto:s o: colla|o:ato:s caug|t sig|t oi t|is uo:stc: a:c wc:c
scizcc wit| cisgust o: ¡it,. l |ac scc: ia: too ua:, oi u, collcagucs ialli:g i: t|c :i:g li|c ti:cc
clow:s, |o:cc |, t|ci: ow: cull:css, |oocc oii o: |illcc |, ¡olitc silc:cc a:c c:aggcc out oi t|c
lig|ts |, |i:cl, o: co:tcu¡tuous ci:cus |a:cs.
l s|all ta|c u, |at w|ilc l ca: still :cac| t|c |at :ac|, a:c wal| oii |, u,scli, alt|oug| u, |i¡
|u:ts. I|c c:cativit, i: agci:g is cc:tai:l, :ot o|vious, |ut ¡c:iocic a:c co:citio:al, ¡:ctt, uuc|
li|c quictl, ciui:is|i:g scxualit,.
l |avc c|osc: a ca,`s iilui:g i: 1-·!.. Acco:ci:g to u, :otcs, it was colc twc:t, ccg:ccs
·clsius |clow zc:o. l wo|c u¡ as usual at iivc o`cloc|, w|ic| uca:s l was wo|c:, c:aw: as ii i: a`
s¡i:al |, souc cvil s¡i:it out oi u, ccc¡cst slcc¡, a:c l was wicc awa|c. Io cou|at |,stc:ia a:c
t|c sa|otagc oi u, |owcls, l got out oi |cc iuucciatcl, a:c io: a icw uouc:ts stooc quitc still o:
t|c iloo: wit| u, c,cs closcc. l wc:t ovc: u, actual situatio:. low was u, |oc,, |ow was u,
soul a:c, uost oi all, w|at |ac got to |c co:c toca,· l csta|lis|cc t|at u, :osc was |loc|cc ;t|c
c:, ai:,, u, lcit tcsticlc |u:t ;¡:o|a|l, ca:cc:,, u, |i¡ ac|cc ;t|c sauc olc ¡ai:,, a:c t|c:c was a
:i:gi:g i: u, |ac ca: ;u:¡lcasa:t |ut :ot wo:t| |ot|c:i:g a|out,. l also :cgistc:cc t|at u, |,stc:ia
was u:cc: co:t:ol, u, ica: oi stouac| c:au¡ :ot too i:tc:sivc. I|c ca,`s wo:| co:sistcc oi t|c
scc:c |ctwcc: lsuacl a:c Alcxa:cc:, i: to--, o-1 +!e·o-1e., a:c l was wo::icc |ccausc t|c scc:c i:
qucstio: uig|t |c |c,o:c t|c ca¡acit, oi u, |:avc ,ou:g acto: i: t|c titlc :olc, lc:til Guvc. lut
t|c coui:g colla|o:atio: wit| ·ti:a l||lac as lsuacl gavc uc a |olt oi |a¡¡, cx¡cctatio:. I|c ii:st
i:s¡cctio: oi t|c ca, was t|us cou¡lctcc a:c |ac ¡:ocuccc a suall |ut :cvc:t|clcss ¡ositivc ¡:oiit.
ii ·ti:a is as gooc as l t|i:|, l ca: ua:agc lc:tilAlcxa:cc:. l |ac al:cac, t|oug|t out two
st:atcgics. o:c wit| cquall, gooc acto:s, t|c ot|c: wit| a ¡:i:ci¡al acto: a:c a scco:ca:, acto:.
:ow it was a qucstio: oi ta|i:g t|i:gs calul,, oi |ci:g calu.
At scvc: o`cloc|, u, wiic l:g:ic a:c l |ac |:ca|iast togct|c: i: i:ic:cl, silc:cc. \, stouac|
was acquicscc:t a:c |ac io:t,iivc ui:utcs i: w|ic| to c:catc |cll. W|ilc l was waiti:g io: it to
cccicc o: its attitucc, l :cac t|c uo::i:g ¡a¡c:s. At a qua:tc: to cig|t, l was ictc|cc a:c c:ivc: to
t|c stucio, w|ic| at t|at ¡a:ticula: tiuc was i: ·u:c|,|c:g a:c was ow:cc |, lu:o¡aiilu ltc.
I|osc o:cc so :c¡uta|lc stucios wc:c ccca,i:g. I|c, ¡:ocuccc uai:l, viccos a:c a:, staiis lcit
i:ou t|c ca,s oi iilu, wc:c ciso:ic:tatcc a:c cow:|ca:tcc. I|c actual iilu stucio was ci:t,, :ot
sou:c¡:ooi, a:c |acl, uai:tai:cc. I|c cciti:g :oou, at ii:st sig|t couicall, luxu:ious, tu::cc out
to |c usclcss. I|c ¡:o|ccto:s wc:c w:ctc|cc, i:ca¡a|lc oi |cc¡i:g cit|c: ccii:itio: o: stills. I|c
sou:c was |ac, t|c vc:tilatio: cic :ot iu:ctio: a:c t|c ca:¡ct was iilt|,.
At cxactl, :i:c o`cloc|, t|c ca,`s iilui:g sta:tcc. lt was iu¡o:ta:t t|at ou: collcctivc sta:t was
¡u:ctual. Discussio:s a:c u:cc:tai:tics |ac to ta|c ¡lacc .o··.1e t|is i::c:uost ci:clc oi
co:cc:t:atio:. l:ou t|is uouc:t o:, wc wc:c a cou¡licatcc |ut u:iio:ul, iu:ctio:i:g uac|i:c,
t|c aiu oi w|ic| was to ¡:ocucc livi:g ¡ictu:cs.
I|c wo:| quic|l, scttlcc i:to a calu :|,t|u, a:c i:tiuac, was u:cou¡licatcc. I|c o:l, t|i:g
to cistu:| t|is ca, was t|c lac| oi sou:c¡:ooii:g a:c t|c lac| oi :cs¡cct io: t|c :cc lau¡s outsicc
i: t|c co::ico: a:c clscw|c:c. ·t|c:wisc it was a ca, oi uoccst cclig|t. l:ou t|c vc:, ii:st
uouc:t, wc all iclt ·ti:a l||lac`s :cua:|a|lc cu¡at|, wit| t|c illiatcc lsuacl a:c, |cst oi all
lc:tilAlcxa:cc: |ac at o:cc accc¡tcc t|c situatio:. l: t|at st:a:gc wa, c|ilc:c: |avc, |c gavc
cx¡:cssio: to a cou¡licatcc uixtu:c oi cu:iosit, a:c ica: wit| touc|i:g gc:ui:c:css.
I|c :c|ca:sals uovcc o: suoot|l, a:c a quict c|cc:iul:css :cig:cc, ou: c:cativit, ca:ci:g
alo:g. A::a As¡ |ac c:catcc a stiuulati:g sct io: us. ·vc: :,|vist |ac co:c t|c lig|ti:g wit| t|at
i:tuitio: w|ic| is ciiiicult to ccsc:i|c, |ut w|ic| is |is |allua:| a:c ua|cs |iu o:c oi t|c lcaci:g
lig|ti:g cauc:a uc: i: t|c wo:lc, ¡c:|a¡s t|c |cst. li ,ou as|cc |iu |ow |c cic it, |c woulc ¡oi:t
out souc siu¡lc g:ou:c :ulcs ;w|ic| |avc |cc: oi g:cat usc to uc i: u, wo:| i: t|c t|cat:c,. lc
coulc :ot o: |ac :o wis| to ccsc:i|c t|c actual scc:ct. li io: souc :caso: |c was cistu:|cc,
¡:cssu:izcc o: ill at casc, cvc:,t|i:g wc:t w:o:g a:c |c woulc |avc to sta:t all ovc: agai: i:ou t|c
|cgi::i:g. ·o:iicc:cc a:c total sccu:it, ¡:cvailcc i: ou: colla|o:atio:. ·ccasio:all, l g:icvc ovc:
t|c iact t|at wc s|all :cvc: wo:| togct|c: agai:. l g:icvc w|c: l t|i:| |ac| to a ca, suc| as t|c o:c
l |avc cc¡ictcc. I|c:c`s a sc:sual satisiactio: i: wo:|i:g i: closc u:io: wit| st:o:g, i:cc¡c:cc:t
a:c c:cativc ¡co¡lc. acto:s, assista:ts, clcct:icia:s, ¡:ocuctio: staii, ¡:o¡s ¡co¡lc, ua|cu¡ staii,
a:c costuuc ccsig:c:s, all t|osc ¡c:so:alitics w|o ¡o¡ulatc t|c ca, a:c ua|c it ¡ossi|lc to gct
t|:oug|.
·ouctiucs l :call, iccl t|c loss oi cvc:,t|i:g a:c cvc:,o:c co:cc::cc. l u:cc:sta:c w|at lclli:i
uca:s w|c: |c sa,s iilui:g to |iu is a wa, oi liic a:c l also u:cc:sta:c |is littlc sto:, a|out A:ita
l||c:g. lc: last scc:c i: to Ð.!.e ¡.·o too| ¡lacc i: a ca: c:cctcc i: t|c stucio. W|c: t|c scc:c |ac
|cc: ta|c: a:c iilui:g was ovc: as ia: as s|c was co:cc::cc, s|c sta:tcc c:,i:g a:c :ciuscc to lcavc
t|c ca:, g:i¡¡i:g ii:ul, o:to t|c w|ccl. ·|c |ac to |c ca::icc out oi t|c stucio wit| gc:tlc io:cc.
·ouctiucs t|c:c is a s¡ccial |a¡¡i:css i: |ci:g a iilu ci:ccto:. A: u::c|ca:scc cx¡:cssio: is
|o:: |ust li|c t|at, a:c t|c cauc:a :cgistc:s t|at cx¡:cssio:. I|at was cxactl, w|at |a¡¡c:cc t|at
ca,. u:¡:c¡a:cc a:c u::c|ca:scc, Alcxa:cc: tu::cc vc:, ¡alc, a loo| oi s|cc: ago:, a¡¡ca:i:g o:
|is iacc. I|c cauc:a :cgistc:cc t|c uouc:t. I|c ago:,, t|c i:ta:gi|lc, was t|c:c io: a icw scco:cs
a:c :cvc: :ctu::cc. :cit|c: was it t|c:c ca:lic:, |ut t|c st:i¡ oi iilu caug|t t|c uouc:t. I|at is
w|c: l t|i:| ca,s a:c uo:t|s oi ¡:ccicta|lc :outi:c |avc ¡aic oii. lt is ¡ossi|lc l livc io: t|osc |:ici
uouc:ts.
li|c a ¡ca:l iis|c:.
l was ci:ccto: oi lclsi:g|o:g I|cat:c, a:c t|c ,ca: was 1-++. l was twc:t,six. lo: a lo:g tiuc
l |ac |cc: cu¡lo,cc as a sc:i¡tw:itc: |, ·vc:s| lilui:cust:i, a:c l |ac |ac o:c sc:i¡t iilucc
(t.e-.,· ci:cctcc |, Ali ·|o|c:g,. l was co:sicc:cc talc:tcc |ut ciiiicult. l |ac a |i:c oi :ig|ts
co:t:act wit| ·l, oi :o ii:a:cial acva:tagc to uc |ut it ¡:cvc:tcc uc i:ou wo:|i:g io: ot|c: iilu
cou¡a:ics. I|at ca:gc: was :ot vc:, g:cat. Dcs¡itc a cc:tai: succcss wit| ¡.e-.,, :o o:c got i:
touc| wit| uc, cxcc¡t lo:c:s \a:ustcct w|o ¡|o:cc :ow a:c agai:, as|i:g i: auia|l, uoc|i:g
to:cs |ow lo:g l co:sicc:cc it wo:t| w|ilc |a:gi:g o: wit| ·l, acci:g t|at t|c, woulc |c su:c to
ii:is| uc oii, |ut t|at |c, lo:c:s, woulc ¡:o|a|l, |c a|lc to ua|c a gooc iilu ci:ccto: out oi uc. l
was i: two ui:cs a:c still aut|o:it,|ou:c, so l alwa,s ccciccc to sta, wit| ·a:l A:cc:s D,uli:g,
w|o t:catcc uc |ot| ¡atc::all, a:c wit| souc co:ccscc:sio:.
·:c ca, a ¡la, la:ccc o: u, ccs|. lt was callcc M.1e.1,.e· j1|e M.·|e.¡ a:c was w:ittc: |, a
Da:is| |ac|. D,uli:g suggcstcc l s|oulc w:itc a sc:i¡t i:ou t|c ¡la, a:c, ii t|c sc:i¡t was
a¡¡:ovcc, l woulc gct u, ii:st iilu to ci:cct. l :cac t|c ¡la, a:c iou:c it a¡¡alli:g. lut, ii a:,o:c
|ac as|cc uc to, l woulc cc:tai:l, |avc iilucc t|c tclc¡|o:c ci:ccto:,. ·o l w:otc t|c sc:i¡t i:
iou:tcc: :ig|ts a:c |ac it a¡¡:ovcc. I|c iilu was to |c uacc i: t|c suuuc: oi 1-+.. ·o ia: so
gooc. l was c:az, wit| cclig|t a:c :atu:all, cic :ot scc t|c :calitics, wit| t|c :csult t|at l icll
|caclo:g i:to cvc:, si:glc ¡it l a:c ot|c:s |ac |cl¡cc to cig.
I|c iilutow: oi kasu:ca was a iacto:, ¡:ocuci:g |ctwcc: twc:t, a:c t|i:t, iilus a ,ca:
cu:i:g t|c 1-+0.. lt co:tai:cc a wcalt| oi ¡:oicssio:al a:c s|illcc t:acc t:acitio:s, :outi:c a:c
|o|cuia:. Du:i:g u, ,ca:s as sc:i¡t slavc, l |ac s¡c:t a g:cat ccal oi tiuc i: t|c stucios, i: t|c iilu
a:c|ivcs, t|c la|o:ato:,, t|c cciti:g :oou, t|c sou:c cc¡a:tuc:t a:c t|c ca:tcc:, so l |:cw t|c
¡:cuiscs a:c t|c ¡co¡lc iai:l, wcll. l was also co:vi:ccc l woulc s|ow u,scli to |c t|c wo:lc`s
g:catcst iilu ci:ccto:.
W|at l cic:`t |:ow was t|at t|c, wc:c aiui:g to ¡:ocucc a c|ca¡ liilu i: w|ic| t|c, coulc
la:gcl, usc t|c cou¡a:,`s co:t:act acto:s. Aitc: co:sicc:a|lc a:guuc:t, l was givc: ¡c:uissio: to
ua|c a tcst iilu wit| l:ga la:cg:c a:c ·tig ·li:. Gu::a: lisc|c: was t|c cauc:aua:. Wc wc:c
co:tcu¡o:a:ics, c:t|usiastic, a:c wc got o: wcll togct|c:. lt |ccauc a lo:g tcst iilu. Aitc: l |ac
scc: it, u, c:t|usiasu |:cw :o |ou:cs. l tclc¡|o:cc u, wiic, w|o |ac sta,cc i: lclsi:g|o:g, a:c
s|outcc cxcitccl, cow: t|c ¡|o:c t|at ·|o|c:g, \ola:cc: a:c D:c,c: coulc :ow go i:to
:cti:cuc:t. l:gua: lc:gua: was o: |is wa,.
W|ilc l was i:ot|i:g awa, wit| sclico:iicc:cc, t|c, too| t|c o¡¡o:tu:it, to cxc|a:gc Gu::a:
lisc|c: wit| Gosta koosli:g, a |attlcsca::cc ·auu:ai, w|o |ac wo: ¡:aisc wit| a :uu|c: oi s|o:t
iilus s|owi:g |:oac s|ics wit| |cautiiull, illuui:atcc cloucs. lc was a t,¡ical cocuuc:ta:ist a:c
|ac |a:cl, cvc: wo:|cc i: a stucio, w|c: it cauc to lig|ti:g, |c was :clativcl, i:cx¡c:ic:ccc. lc
also ccs¡iscc icatu:c iilus a:c cisli|cc |ci:g i:coo:s. l:ou t|c vc:, ii:st uouc:t, wc cctcstcc
cac| ot|c: a:c, as wc wc:c |ot| u:su:c oi ou:sclvcs, wc co:ccalcc ou: u:cc:tai:t, |c|i:c sa:casu
a:c :ucc:css.
I|c ii:st ca,s oi iilui:g o: c..·.· wc:c :ig|tua:is|. l :calizcc at o:cc t|at l |ac la:ccc u,scli i:
a: a¡¡a:atus l |ac |, :o uca:s uastc:cc, a:c l also :calizcc t|at Dag:, li:c, w|ou l |ac a:gucc
u, wa, i:to |avi:g i: t|c titlc :olc, was :ot a iilu act:css a:c lac|cc cx¡c:ic:cc. l saw wit| ic,
cla:it, t|at t|c, all :calizcc l was i:cou¡ctc:t. l co:i:o:tcc t|ci: cist:ust wit| a: oiic:sivc
out|u:st oi :agc.
I|c :csults wc:c cc¡lo:a|lc. I|c:c was souct|i:g w:o:g wit| t|c cauc:a, souc oi t|c scc:cs
wc:c |lu::cc, t|c sou:c was |ac a:c o:c coulc ua|c out o:l, wit| ciiiicult, w|at t|c acto:s wc:c
sa,i:g.
l:tc:sc activit, was goi:g o: |c|i:c u, |ac|. I|c stucio ua:agcuc:t co:sicc:cc t|c iilu
s|oulc cit|c: |c c:o¡¡cc o: t|c ci:ccto: a:c uai: acto: :c¡laccc. Aitc: wc |ac toilcc awa, io:
t|:cc wcc|s, l :cccivcc a lcttc: i:ou ·a:l A:cc:s D,uli:g, w|o was o: |olica,. lc w:otc to sa,
|c |ac scc: t|c uatc:ial a:c |c cic:`t t|i:| it ¡a:ticula:l, gooc, |ut it was ¡:ouisi:g. lc
suggcstcc wc s|oulc sta:t agai: i:ou t|c |cgi::i:g. l g:atciull, accc¡tcc, wit|out :otici:g t|c
t:a¡coo: t|at |ac |cc: su¡¡o:ti:g u, t|i: |oc,.
As ii |, c|a:cc, Victo: ·|ost:ou, t|c g:cat silc:t iiluua|c:, tu::cc u¡. lc g:as¡cc uc ii:ul,
|, t|c :a¡c oi t|c :cc| a:c wal|cc uc li|c t|at |ac| a:c io:t| ac:oss t|c as¡|alt outsicc t|c stucio,
uostl, i: silc:cc, |ut succc:l, |c was sa,i:g t|i:gs t|at wc:c siu¡lc a:c cou¡:c|c:si|lc. You
ua|c ,ou: scc:cs too cou¡licatcc. :cit|c: ,ou :o: koosli:g ca: co¡c wit| t|osc cou¡licatio:s.
Wo:| uo:c siu¡l,. lilu t|c acto:s i:ou t|c i:o:t. I|c, li|c t|at a:c it`s |cst t|at wa,. Do:`t
|cc¡ |avi:g :ows wit| cvc:,o:c. I|c, siu¡l, gct a:g:, a:c co a lcss gooc |o|. Do:`t tu::
cvc:,t|i:g i:to ¡:iua:, issucs. I|c aucic:cc |ust g:oa:s. A ui:o: cctail s|oulc |c t:catcc li|c a
ui:o: cctail wit|out :cccssa:il, |avi:g to loo| li|c o:c. Wc wal|cc :ou:c a:c :ou:c, |ac| a:c
io:t| ac:oss t|c as¡|alt, |c |olci:g o: to t|c |ac| oi u, :cc| a:c |ci:g cow:toca:t|, iactual, :ot
a:g:, wit| uc, alt|oug| l was |ci:g so u:¡lcasa:t.
lt was a |ot suuuc:. I|c ca,s i: t|c stucio u:cc: t|c covc:cc glass :ooi wc:c uisc:a|l,
o¡¡:cssivc. l was livi:g i: locgi:gs i: ·lc ·it,. lvc:, cvc:i:g, l icll i:to |cc a:c la, ¡a:al,zcc
wit| a:xict, a:c s|auc, a:c, at cus|, l wc:t to a uil| |a: a:c |ac a ucal. I|c: l wc:t to t|c
ci:cua, alwa,s t|c ci:cua. l watc|cc Auc:ica: iilus a:c t|oug|t l oug|t to lca:: t|at. I|at
cauc:a uovcuc:t is siu¡lc. koosli:g coulc ua:agc t|at. I|at was a :icc cut. l`ll :cucu|c: t|at.
·: ·atu:ca,s l got c:u:|, soug|t out |ac cou¡a:, a:c got uixcc u¡ i: |:awls. ·ouctiucs u,
wiic cauc to scc uc. ·|c was ¡:cg:a:t. Wc qua::cllcc a:c s|c lcit. l also :cac ¡la,s a:c ¡:c¡a:cc
io: t|c coui:g scaso: at lclsi:g|o:g I|cat:c.
Wc wc:c to iilu i: lcccuo:a oi all ¡laccs. l co:`t |:ow w|,. lc:|a¡s l |ac a: o|scu:c :ccc to
s|ow oii to u, ¡a:c:ts, w|o wc:c sta,i:g at Va:ous t|at suuuc:, souc uilcs iu:t|c: :o:t|. Wc
sct oii. l: t|osc ca,s t|is uca:t a saia:i oi ca:s, gc:c:ato: u:its, sou:c t:uc|s a:c t|c c:cw. Wc
sta,cc at lcccuo:a \u:ici¡al lotcl.
Iwo t|i:gs |a¡¡c:cc.
I|c wcat|c: c|a:gcc a:c t|c :ai: cauc cow: u::cuitti:gl,. koosli:g, at last allowcc out oi
coo:s, saw :o i:tc:csti:g cloucs, o:l, a: cvc: g:c, s|,, so |c sta,cc i: |is |otcl :oou, got c:u:|
a:c :ciuscc to s|oot.
·cco:cl, l vc:, soo: :calizcc t|at l |ac i:cccc |cc: a w:ctc|cc tcau ua:agc: i: t|c stucio, |ut
|c:c, i: :ai:, lcccuo:a, l was cvc: wo:sc.
\ost oi t|c c:cw sta,cc i: t|c |otcl ¡la,i:g ca:cs a:c c:i:|i:g, t|c ot|c:s g:cw cc¡:csscc. All
ag:ccc t|at t|c ci:ccto: was to |lauc io: t|c vilc wcat|c:. ·ouc ci:ccto:s wc:c luc|, wit| t|c
wcat|c:, ot|c:s u:luc|,. l was t|c lattc: |i:c.
Wc :us|cc out scvc:al tiucs, c:cctcc ou: cauc:a sta:c, :iggcc u¡ ou: cluus, lig|ts, |:oug|t u¡
t|c gc:c:ato:s a:c sou:c cqui¡uc:t, sct u¡ t|c |cav, Dc|:ic cauc:a, :c|ca:scc wit| t|c acto:s,
t|c cla¡¡c: clac|cc a:c cow: cauc t|c :ai: agai:. Wc stooc a|out i: c:t:a:ccs, sat i: ca:s o:
c:ouc|cc i: souc caic as t|c :ai: ¡ou:cc cow: a:c t|c lig|t iaccc. I|c: it was tiuc to c:ivc |ac|
to t|c |otcl io: ci::c:. W|c: wc occasio:all, cic succccc i: ta|i:g a scc:c cu:i:g a icw scco:cs oi
su:lig|t, l was so co:iuscc a:c cxcitcc t|at acco:ci:g to so|c: wit:csscs l |c|avcc li|c a
lu:atic, sc:caui:g, swca:i:g a:c :agi:g, i:sulti:g |,sta:cc:s a:c cu:si:g lcccuo:a.
l: t|c cvc:i:gs t|c:c was oitc: :ois, |:awli:g a:ou:c t|c |otcl a:c t|c ¡olicc |ac to |c callcc
i:. I|c |otcl ua:agc: t|:catc:cc to t|:ow us out. \a:ia::c loig:c: ca:ccc t|c ca:ca: o: a
:cstau:a:t ta|lc ;vc:, s|iliull, a:c auusi:gl,, |ut icll to t|c iloo: a:c c:ac|cc t|c ¡a:quct. Aitc:
t|:cc wcc|s, t|c clcc:s oi t|c tow: wca:icc oi us, co:tactcc ·vc:s| lilui:cist:i a:c |csoug|t t|c
ua:agcuc:t to ta|c t|csc i:sa:c ¡co¡lc awa,, io: Goc`s sa|c.
I|c :cxt ca, wc :cccivcc o:cc:s to cis¡c:sc iuucciatcl,. l: twc:t, ca,s oi iilui:g, wc |ac
s|ot iou: scc:cs out oi twc:t,.
l was callcc i: to D,uli:g a:c givc: a tc::i|lc c:cssi:gcow:. lc o¡c:l, t|:catc:cc to ta|c t|c
iilu awa, i:ou uc. lt is ¡ossi|lc t|at Victo: ·|ost:ou i:tc:vc:cc, |ut l co:`t |:ow.
I|at was |a:c c:oug|, |ut w|at was to couc was uuc| wo:sc. I|c:c was a |caut, salo: i: t|c
iilu, situatcc, acco:ci:g to t|c sc:i¡t, :cxt coo: to a uusic |all. \usic a:c laug|tc: wc:c to |c
|ca:c i:ou t|c t|cat:c i: t|c cvc:i:g. l i:sistcc o: a sct oi a st:cct |ci:g |uilt, as l coulc :ot ii:c a
suita|lc ¡lacc i: ·toc||olu. lt woulc |c a: cx¡c:sivc |usi:css, l :calizcc t|at, ccs¡itc u, i:sa:c
statc oi ui:c. lut l |ac a visio: oi ¡ac|`s |looc, |cac u:cc: t|c :cws¡a¡c:, t|c wi:|i:g lig|ts oi
t|c t|cat:c sig:s, t|c |caut, salo:`s illuui:atcc wi:cow wit| t|c :igic wax iaccs |c:cat| cla|o:atc
wigs, t|c :ai:was|cc as¡|alt, t|c |:ic| walls i: t|c |ac|g:ou:c. l was goi:g to |avc u, littlc
st:ctc| oi st:cct.
Io u, su:¡:isc, t|c ¡:o|cct wc:t t|:oug| wit|out ciscussio:. I|c g:cat |uilci:g c:tc:¡:isc
was lau:c|cc iuucciatcl, o: a clca:cc a:ca a|out a |u:c:cc uct:cs i:ou t|c |ig stucio. l oitc:
wc:t to t|c sitc a:c was quitc ¡:ouc oi u, succcss i: c:ivi:g t|is cx¡c:sivc c:tc:¡:isc t|:oug|. l
assuucc t|c ua:agcuc:t |clicvcc i: u, iilu, ccs¡itc all t|c :ows a:c ciiiicultics. W|at l |ac:`t
g:as¡cc was t|at u, st:cct was to tu:: out to |c a: cxccllc:t wca¡o: i: t|c |a:cs oi a ¡owc:uac
stucio ua:agcuc:t, aiucc at uc a:c D,uli:g w|o |ac |it|c:to ¡:otcctcc uc. I|c:c wc:c alwa,s
st:o:g tc:sio:s |ctwcc: |cac oiiicc, w|ic| :cig:cc su¡:cuc, a:c t|c stucio, w|ic| uacc t|c iilus.
I|c costl, a:c uttc:l, ¡oi:tlcss st:cct sct was to |c cc|itcc to u, iilu, t|us ua|i:g it iu¡ossi|lc
to :ccou¡ its |ucgct.
I|c s|ooti:g itscli too| a: ugl, tu::. I|c ii:st scc:c was iilucc o:c autuu: cvc:i:g aitc:
:ig|tiall. lt was a si:glc s|ot, t|c cauc:a o: a :i:cioot sta:c. I|c t|cat:c lig|ts wi:|cc. ¡ac| |ac
s|ot |iuscli a:c \a:ia::c was l,i:g ¡:o:c ovc: |is |oc,, sc:caui:g to ua|c o:c`s |looc :u: colc.
I|c au|ula:cc c:ovc u¡, t|c as¡|alt glistc:cc a:c t|c |caut,salo: cuuuics sta:cc. l was cli:gi:g
to t|c sta:c, sic| a:c cizz,, |ut i:toxicatcc wit| a sc:sc oi ¡owc:. all t|is was u, c:catio:, u,
:calit,, a:tici¡atcc, ¡la::cc a:c ca::icc out.
I|c t:ut| st:uc| swiitl, a:c c:ucll,. A: assista:t was ¡oiscc o: t|c ccgc oi t|c sta:c wit|
a:ot|c: assista:t, :cac, to liit cow: t|c cauc:a. lt succc:l, cauc i:cc a:c t|c ua: |u:tlcc
|caclo:g to t|c g:ou:c wit| t|c |cav, cauc:a o: to¡ oi |iu. l co:`t :cucu|c: all t|at wcll w|at
|a¡¡c:cc, |ut a: au|ula:cc was t|c:c o: t|c s¡ot a:c was a|lc to ta|c t|c i:|u:cc ua: st:aig|t to
la:oli:s|a los¡ital. I|c c:cw i:sistcc o: |:ca|i:g oii iilui:g, as t|c, wc:c co:vi:ccc t|ci:
collcaguc was ccac o: c,i:g.
l was ¡a:icst:ic|c: a:c :ciuscc, s|outi:g t|at t|c ua: |ac |cc: c:u:|, t|at t|c, wc:c all
c:u:| iilui:g at :ig|t ¡w|ic| was ¡a:tl, t:uc, a:c t|at l was su::ou:ccc |, :a||lc a:c :iii:aii, t|at
t|c s|ooti:g woulc co:ti:uc u:til t|c |os¡ital i:io:ucc us t|at t|c i:|u:cc ua: was ccac. l accuscc
u, icllow wo:|c:s oi |ci:g ca:clcss, laz, a:c slo¡¡,. :o o:c :cs¡o:ccc a:c a sullc: ·wccis|
silc:cc su::ou:ccc uc. I|c iilui:g wc:t o:, t|c ¡:og:auuc was cou¡lctcc, |ut cvc:,t|i:g l |ac
iuagi:cc i: t|c wa, oi a¡¡:oac|cs to iaccs, o||ccts a:c gcstu:cs |ac |cc: wi¡cc out. l coulc:`t co
it. l wc:t awa, i:to t|c ca:|:css a:c wc¡t wit| :agc a:c cisa¡¡oi:tuc:t.
I|c uattc: was latc: glosscc ovc:. I|c i:|u:cc ua: was :ot t|at |acl, |u:t a:c :cit|c: |ac |c
|cc: so|c:.
I|c ca,s c:aggcc o:. koosli:g was o¡c:l, |ostilc a:c uoc|cc u, suggcstio:s io: cauc:a sct
u¡s. I|c la|o:ato:, uacc ou: ¡ictu:cs cit|c: too lig|t o: too ca:|. \, ii:st cauc:aua:, a
co:tcu¡o:a:, w|o |ac al:cac, uacc o:c iilu, laug|cc a lot a:c t|uu¡cc uc o: t|c |ac|. l
:c¡catccl, qua::cllcc wit| t|c clcct:icia:s` io:cua: ovc: |:ca|s a:c |ou:s. I|c last :cu:a:t oi
cisci¡li:c va:is|cc a:c ¡co¡lc cauc a:c wc:t as t|c, ¡lcascc. l was i:ozc: out.
lut l cic |avc o:c i:ic:c w|o :ciuscc to :u: wit| t|c ¡ac|. I|at was t|c iilu`s ccito:, ·sca:
kosa:cc:. lc actuall, loo|cc li|c a ¡ai: oi scisso:s, cvc:,t|i:g a|out |iu s|a:¡ a:c clca:l, ccii:cc.
lc s¡o|c wit| a cig:iiicc guttu:al sout|c:: accc:t a:c was :at|c: su¡c:cilious i: t|c l:glis| wa,,
¡ou:i:g |i:cl, co:tcu¡t o: ci:ccto:s, t|c stucio ua:agcuc:t a:c t|c |igwigs at |cac oiiicc ali|c.
I|c g:cat uouc:t oi |is liic |ac |cc: wo:|i:g wit| l:i:cc Wil|clu, w|o :ow a:c agai: uacc a
s|o:t iilu wit| ·l. lvc:,o:c was ai:aic oi ·sca: a:c :o o:c |:cw w|c: |c was goi:g to |c auia|lc
o: uu:cc:ous. lc t:catcc wouc: wit| olcias|io:cc c|ival:ous cou:tcs,, |ut i:ou a cista:cc. lc
was a wiccl, :cac ua: a:c ¡osscsscc a: cstiua|lc collcctio: oi ¡o::og:a¡|,. lt was saic t|at |c |ac
i:cquc:tcc t|c sauc w|o:c io: twc:t,t|:cc ,ca:s, twicc a wcc|, i: all scaso:s.
W|c: l wc:t to |iu aitc: s|ooti:g was cou¡lctcc, cisa¡¡oi:tcc a:c iu:ious, |c :cccivcc uc
wit| a|:u¡t a:c i:ic:cl, o||cctivit,, a:c uc:cilcssl, ¡oi:tcc out w|at was |ac o: u:accc¡ta|lc i:
u, iilu. lc also i:itiatcc uc i:to t|c scc:cts oi cciti:g, auo:g ot|c: t|i:gs a iu:cauc:tal t:ut|
t|at cciti:g occu:s cu:i:g iilui:g itscli, t|c :|,t|u c:catcc i: t|c sc:i¡t. l |:ow t|at ua:,
ci:ccto:s |olc t|c o¡¡ositc vicw. lo: uc, ·sca: kosa:cc:`s tcac|i:g |as |cc: iu:cauc:tal.
I|c :|,t|u i: u, iilus is co:ccivcc i: t|c sc:i¡t, at t|c ccs|, a:c is t|c: givc: |i:t| i: i:o:t oi
t|c cauc:a. All io:us .oi iu¡:ovisatio: a:c alic: to uc. li l au cvc: io:ccc i:to |ast, cccisio:s, l
g:ow swcat, a:c :igic wit| tc::o:. lilui:g io: uc is a: illusio: ¡la::cc i: cctail, t|c :cilcctio: oi a
:calit, w|ic| t|c lo:gc: l livc sccus to uc uo:c a:c uo:c illuso:,.
W|c: iilu is :ot a cocuuc:t, it is c:cau. I|at is w|, Ia:|ovs|, is t|c g:catcst oi t|cu all. lc
uovcs wit| suc| :atu:al:css i: t|c :oou oi c:caus. lc cocs:`t cx¡lai:. W|at s|oulc |c cx¡lai:
a:,|ow· lc is a s¡cctato:, ca¡a|lc oi stagi:g |is visio:s i: t|c uost u:wiclc, |ut, i: a wa,, t|c
uost willi:g oi uccia. All u, liic l |avc |auuc:cc o: t|c coo:s oi t|c :oous i: w|ic| |c uovcs
so :atu:all,. ·:l, a icw tiucs |avc l ua:agcc to c:cc¡ i:sicc. \ost oi u, co:scious ciio:ts |avc
c:ccc i: cu|a::assi:g iailu:c 1|e :e.¡e-·· i¸¸, 1|e 1.o.|, to.e ·. to.e a:c so o:.
lclli:i, lu:osawa a:c lu:ucl uovc i: t|c sauc iiclcs as Ia:|ovs|,. A:to:io:i was o: |is wa,,
|ut cx¡i:cc, suiiocatcc |, |is ow: tccious:css. \clics was alwa,s t|c:c wit|out |avi:g to t|i:|
a|out it. lc was a uagicia: |, ¡:oicssio:.
lilu as c:cau, iilu as uusic. :o io:u oi a:t gocs |c,o:c o:ci:a:, co:scious:css as iilu cocs,
st:aig|t to ou: cuotio:s, ccc¡ i:to t|c twilig|t :oou oi t|c soul. A littlc twitc| i: ou: o¡tic :c:vc,
a s|oc| ciicct. twc:t,iou: illuui:atcc i:aucs a scco:c, ca:|:css i: |ctwcc:, t|c o¡tic :c:vc
i:ca¡a|lc oi :cgistc:i:g ca:|:css. At t|c cciti:g ta|lc, w|c: l :u: t|c st:i¡ oi iilu t|:oug|, i:auc
|, i:auc, l still iccl t|at cizz, sc:sc oi uagic oi u, c|ilc|ooc. i: t|c ca:|:css oi t|c wa:c:o|c, l
slowl, wi:c o: o:c i:auc aitc: a:ot|c:, scc t|c aluost iu¡c:cc¡ti|lc c|a:gcs, wi:c iastc: a
uovcuc:t.
I|c uutc o: s¡ca|i:g s|acows tu:: wit|out cvasio: towa:cs u, uost scc:ct :oou. I|c sucll
oi |ot uctal, t|c wavc:i:g ilic|c:i:g ¡ictu:c, t|c :attlc oi t|c \altcsc c:oss, t|c |a:clc agai:st u,
|a:c.

¯
lcio:c t|c ¡:iucval ca:|:css oi ¡u|c:t, lowc:cc itscli :ou:c uc a:c co:iuscc |ot| |oc, a:c
soul, l |ac a |a¡¡, lovc aiiai: cu:i:g t|c suuuc: l was livi:g alo:c wit| G:a:cuot|c: at Va:ous.
l ca::ot :cucu|c: t|c :caso: io: t|is a::a:gcuc:t, |ut l co :cucu|c: u, co:tc:tuc:t a:c
iccli:g oi wcll|ci:g a:c sccu:it,. Gucsts cauc occasio:all,, sta,cc a icw ca,s a:c lcit agai:,
c:|a:ci:g u, cclig|t. Alt|oug| l was still c|ilcis|, loo|cc c|ilcis| a:c u, voicc |ac :ot ,ct
|:o|c:, G:a:cuot|c: a:c lalla :cga:ccc uc as a You:g \a: a:c t:catcc uc acco:ci:gl,. A¡a:t
i:ou t|c o|ligato:, ¡a:tici¡atio: i: coucstic cutics ;c|o¡¡i:g wooc, collccti:g ¡i:cco:cs, c:,i:g
cis|cs a:c ca::,i:g watc:,, l was lcit to :oau quitc i:ccl,. l was uostl, alo:c a:c c:|o,cc u,
solitucc. G:a:cuot|c: lcit uc i: ¡cacc wit| u, c:caus. ·u: co:iicc:tial co:vc:satio:s a:c
cvc:i:g :caci:g alouc stiii wc:t o: |ut t|c:c was :o cou¡ulsio:. l was allowcc to cccicc t|i:gs
io: u,scli as :cvc: |cio:c. :o: was ¡u:ctualit, co:sicc:cc all t|at iu¡o:ta:t. li l was latc io:
ucals, t|c:c was alwa,s a sa:cwic| a:c a glass oi uil| i: t|c la:cc:.
I|c o:l, u:wavc:i:g :ulc was ca:l, uo::i:gs, :cvcillc at scvc: o`cloc|, o: ·u:ca,s as wcll as
wcc|ca,s, a:c colc :u|cow:s su¡c:viscc |, G:a:cuot|c: ¡c:so:all,. ·lca: :ails a:c was|cc ca:s
wc:c c:c:oac|uc:ts o: u, i:cccou w|ic| l |o:c wit| cqua:iuit,, |ut wit| :o u:cc:sta:ci:g. l
t|i:| G:a:cuot|c: iuagi:cc cxtc::al clca:li:css woulc uai:tai: a:c st:c:gt|c: all t|i:gs
s¡i:itual.
l: u, casc, t|c ¡:o|lcu was as ,ct :o:cxistc:t. \, scxual ia:tasics wc:c ciiiusc, ¡c:|a¡s
vagucl, guilt:iccc:. I|c Ic::i|lc ·i: oi Yout| |ac still :ot aiilictcc uc. l was i::occ:t i: all
:cs¡ccts. I|c ua:tlc oi lics t|at |ac |u:cc:cc uc at t|c ¡a:so:agc |ac iallc: awa, a:c l livcc
t:ou|lci:cc i:ou ca, to ca, wit|out a:xict, o: guilt, co:scic:cc. I|c wo:lc was u:cc:sta:ca|lc
a:c l was i: co:t:ol oi u, c:caus as wcll as u, :calit,. Goc |c¡t quict a:c ¡csus cic :ot to:uc:t
uc wit| |is |looc a:c uu:|, i:vitatio:s.
l au :ot c:ti:cl, cc:tai: w|c:c \a:ta cauc i:to all t|is. A iauil, i:ou lalu: wit| scvc:al
c|ilc:c: |ac io: ua:, suuuc:s :c:tcc t|c u¡¡c: iloo: oi t|c Gooc Icu¡la:s` |all uscc |oi:tl, |,
Duua`s a:c D|u:uo io: ccucatio:al classcs a:c ci:cua s|ows i: t|c wi:tc:. I|c :ailwa, :a: a icw
uct:cs i:ou t|c |uilci:g, t|c:c was a ¡ool oi watc: i: t|c g:ou:cs, a:c at t|c |ottou oi t|c slo¡c
was a suall sawuill c:ivc: |, watc: ¡owc: i:ou t|c Giua |ust |cio:c it ilowcc i:to t|c :ivc:.
I|c:c was also a vc:, ccc¡ uc:c iull oi lccc|cs w|ic| wc:c caug|t a:c solc to t|c local c|cuist.
I|c gooc sucll oi su:wa:ucc :cwl,saw: tiu|c: i: stac|s :ou:c t|c ccca,i:g c:gi:c |ousc |u:g
ovc: cvc:,t|i:g.
\, |:ot|c: |ac lo:g ago iou:c i:ic:cs oi |is ow: agc auo:g \a:ta`s |:ot|c:s. I|c, wc:c |olc,
agg:cssivc a:c lovcc t:ou|lc. I|c, |oi:cc u¡ wit| t|c uissio:|all c|ilc:c: w|o livcc at t|c sout|
c:c oi t|c villagc a:c togct|c: t|c, c|allc:gcc t|c villagc`s ow: |ooliga:s to iig|ts o: a stcc¡
|:ac|c:covc:cc slo¡c. I|c, civcc i: i:ou cac| sicc, |u:tcc cac| ot|c: out a:c ioug|t wit| stic|s
a:c sto:cs. l |c¡t awa, i:ou t|ci: :itual iig|ts, io: l |ac quitc c:oug| to co ccic:ci:g u,scli
agai:st u, |:ot|c:, w|o |it uc w|c:cvc: |c got t|c c|a:cc.
·:c |ot |ig|suuuc: ca,, lalla sc:t uc to a: outl,i:g |a:: o: t|c ot|c: sicc oi t|c :ivc:,
|c,o:c t|c |cat|, w|c:c livcc a: olc woua: callcc lisslulla, |:ow: as Au:t. ·|c was a
u,stc:ious ¡c:so:, uuc| :cs¡cctcc io: |c: uccical s|ills a:c c|ccscua|i:g. ·|c |ac |cc:
uc:tall, ill io: a icw ,ca:s a:c i:stcac oi sc:ci:g |c: to t|c lu:atic as,luu i: ·a`tc:, :cga:ccc as a
cisg:acc |, t|c iauil,, s|c was s|ut i: a s|cc o: t|c ia:u a:c |c: |cllows coulc souctiucs |c
|ca:c all ovc: t|c villagc. ·:c ca:l, uo::i:g, s|c was iou:c sta:ci:g outsicc Va:ous |olci:g a
|a:c|c:c|ici |ctwcc: |c: |a:cs li|c a t:a,, a:c s|c as|cc G:a:cuot|c: io: iou: |:o:o: to |c
¡laccc o: t|c |a:c|c:c|ici. li s|c was:`t givc: t|c uo:c,, s|c t|:catc:cc, s|c woulc ¡ut |ca¡s oi
|:us|wooc ac:oss t|c :oac so t|at accc:s woulc asscu|lc a:c |itc t|c c|ilc:c:`s |a:c icct.
G:a:cuot|c: i:vitcc lisslulla i: a:c gavc |c: souc iooc a:c souc uo:c,, t|c: lisslulla callcc
cow: Goc`s |lcssi:g, stuc| out |c: to:guc at u, |:ot|c: a:c lo¡cc oii.
·:c colc wi:tc:`s ca, s|c t:icc to c:ow: |c:scli i: t|c G:aca at las:a. ·ouc uc: o: t|c ic::,
saw |c: a:c iis|cc |c: out. ·|c latc: |ccauc calu a:c sc:si|lc, |ut s¡o|c littlc. ·|c :ct:catcc to
t|c outiiclc |a::, w|c:c s|c wovc clot|s a:c |:cwcc |c:|al uccici:cs co:sicc:cc to |c uuc|
su¡c:io: to t|c local cocto:`s co:coctio:s.
lt was, as l sa,, a |ot ca,. l swau i: t|c |lac| watc:s oi ·va:ts|o: w|c:c t|c watc: lilics :osc out
oi t|c cc¡t|s o: i:sicious stal|s. I|c watc: was alwa,s ic, a:c t|c la|c was co:sicc:cc |ottoulcss,
wit| a: u:cx¡lo:cc u:cc:g:ou:c ca:al lcaci:g to t|c :ivc:. A |o, w|o |ac go:c cow: i: it was
iou:c uo:t|s latc: o: t|c |oou at ·ol|ac|c:, |is stouac| iull oi ccls a:c ccls coui:g out oi |is
uout| a:c |ac|sicc.
l too| t|c :outc ac:oss t|c ua:s|, w|ic| was io:|iccc:, |ut l |:cw t|c ¡at|. lt suclt ast:i:gc:t,
t|c |:ow: watc: |u||lcc u¡ |ctwcc: u, tocs a:c a littlc clouc oi ilics a:c |o:scilics iollowcc uc.
I|c outiiclc |a:: la, o: t|c ccgc oi t|c io:cst |clow t|c :icgc, t|c g:azi:g g:ou:cs slo¡i:g
awa, i: wavcs to t|c sout|. I|c` cattlc s|cc, |a::s a:c cwclli:g |ousc wc:c i: gooc co:citio: a:c
¡ai:tcc :cc, t|ci: tilcc :oois :cwl, laic, t|c ilowc:|ccs wcll |c¡t. lisslulla`s iauil, wc:c wclloii
ia:uc:s a:c, :ow t|at Au:t |ac couc to |c: sc:scs, :ot|i:g was too gooc io: |c:.
I|c olc woua: was tall wit| g:c,st:ca|cc |ai: ¡a:tcc i: t|c uicclc, |c: c,cs ca:| |luc. ·|c
|ac a io:cciul iacc, a wicc uout|, la:gc :osc, |:oac io:c|cac a:c ¡:ot:uci:g ca:s. ·|c was sta:ci:g
|a:ca:ucc a:c |a:clcggcc out i: t|c ,a:c sawi:g wooc. \a:ta was |olci:g t|c ot|c: c:c oi t|c
saw.
lt tu::cc out t|at \a:ta |ac uovcc u¡ to t|c outiiclc |a:: to |cl¡ lisslulla, io: a uoccst
¡a,uc:t, wit| t|c a:iuals a:c ot|c: cutics.
l was givc: |lac|cu::a:t |uicc a:c sa:cwic|cs a:c scatcc at t|c gatclcggcc ta|lc u:cc: t|c
wi:cow. lisslulla a:c \a:ta stooc |, t|c stovc slu:¡i:g coiicc out oi saucc:s. I|c c:au¡cc |ot
:oou suclt oi sou: uil|, a:c ilics c:awlcc a:c |uzzcc all ovc: t|c ¡lacc, t|c stic|, il,¡a¡c:s |lac|
wit| a gc:tl, uovi:g uass.
lisslulla c:qui:cc aitc: \iss :ilsso:`s a:c \:s A|c:|lou`s |calt|. l :c¡licc t|at t|c, wc:c
wcll. I|c |ugc c|ccsc was ¡ac|cc i:to u, |:a¡sac|, l s|oo| |a:cs, |owcc, a:c t|a:|cc t|cu io:
t|c ¡lcasu:c, t|c: saic gooc|,c. lo: souc :caso:, \a:ta cauc wit| uc io: a |it oi t|c wa,.
Alt|oug| wc wc:c t|c sauc agc, \a`:ta was |ali a |cac tallc: t|a: uc. ·|c was |:oac a:c
a:gula:, |c: st:aig|t |ai: cut s|o:t a:c aluost w|itc i:ou t|c su: a:c swiuui:g. lc: li¡s wc:c
t|i:, |c: uout| |:oac a:c w|c: s|c laug|cc it sccucc to uc t|at |c: uout| wc:t out to |c: ca:s,
:cvcali:g st:o:g w|itc tcct|. lc: c,cs wc:c ¡alc |luc a:c |c: gazc sccucc su:¡:iscc, |c: c,c|:ows
as iai: as |c: |ai:, |c: :osc lo:g a:c st:aig|t, wit| a littlc |lo| o: t|c vc:, c:c. ·|c |ac ¡owc:iul
s|oulcc:s a:c :o |i¡s, |c: a:us a:c lcgs lo:g a:c su:|u::t, a:c covc:cc wit| golcc: cow:. ·|c
suclt oi t|c cows|cc, as ast:i:gc:t as t|c ua:s|. lc: c:css |ac o:igi:all, |cc: |luc |ut was iaccc
a:c to::, wit| ca:| ¡atc|cs oi swcat u:cc: |c: a:us a:c |ctwcc: |c: s|oulcc: |laccs.
lovc was iuucciatc as |ctwcc: kouco a:c ¡ulict, t|c ciiic:c:cc |ci:g t|at wc :cvc: cvc:
t|oug|t oi touc|i:g cac| ot|c:, :ot to uc:tio: |issi:g.
·: t|c ¡:ctcxt oi tiucco:suui:g cutics, l cisa¡¡ca:cc i:ou Va:ous ca:l, i: t|c uo::i:gs a:c
:ctu::cc aitc: cus|. I|is wc:t o: io: scvc:al ca,s u:til G:a:cuot|c: ii:all, as|cc uc st:aig|t out
a:c l co:icsscc. l: |c: wiscou, s|c g:a:tcc uc u:liuitcc lcavc i:ou :i:c o`cloc| i: t|c uo::i:g
u:til :i:c at :ig|t. ·|c also tolc uc t|at \a`:ta was alwa,s wclcouc to couc to Va:ous, a
|i:c:css wc sclcou uacc usc oi, as \a`:ta`s ,ou:gc: |:ot|c:s |ac swiitl, ta|c: :otc oi ou:
¡assio:. ·:c aitc::oo:, w|c: wc ca:cc go cow: to t|c Giua to iis| a:c wc:c sitti:g closc
togct|c: wit|out touc|i:g cac| ot|c:, a |o:cc oi littlc |o,s a¡¡ca:cc out oi a |us| a:c sa:g.
·c:cwc: a:c luc|c: wa::a |c ii:c |ut l:ic|c: a:c ·u:tc: at o:cc sta:t to w|i:c`. l lca¡t o: t|c
uo| a:c |it souc oi t|cu, |ut got quitc |acl, |catc:. \a`:ta cic :ot couc to u, :cscuc.
l:csuua|l, s|c wa:tcc to scc |ow l woulc co¡c.
·|c cic:`t tal|. Wc :cvc: touc|cc cac| ot|c:, |ut wc sat, la, o: stooc closc togct|c:, lic|i:g
t|c sca|s oi ou: so:cs a:c sc:atc|i:g ou: uosquito |itcs, swiuui:g i: all wcat|c:s, |ut s|,l,,
ig:o:i:g cac| ot|c:`s :a|cc:css. l also |cl¡cc as |cst l coulc wit| t|c c|o:cs at t|c outiiclc |a::,
|ut l was :at|c: i:ig|tc:cc oi t|c cows. I|c cl||ou:c watc|cc uc |calousl, a:c |c¡t :i¡¡i:g at u,
lcgs. ·ouctiucs \a:ta was scolccc. Au:t was vc:, t|o:oug| a|out t|c cutics assig:cc to |c: a:c
o:cc \a`:ta |ac |c: ca:s |oxcc a:c s|c wc¡t wit| :agc. l was quitc u:a|lc to co:solc |c:.
·|c was quict a:c l cic t|c tal|i:g. l tolc |c: t|at u, iat|c: was :ot u, :cal iat|c:, |ut l was
t|c so: oi a iauous acto: callcc A:cc:s cc Wa|l. lasto: lc:gua: |atcc a:c ¡c:sccutcc uc, w|ic|
was quitc u:cc:sta:ca|lc. \, uot|c: still lovcc A:cc:s cc Wa|l a:c wc:t to all |is ¡:cuic:cs. l
|ac |cc: allowcc to ucct |iu o:cc outsicc t|c t|cat:c. lc |ac loo|cc at uc wit| tca:s i: |is c,cs
a:c |isscc uc o: t|c io:c|cac. I|c: |c |ac saic Goc |lcss ,ou, u, c|ilc` i: |is uclocious voicc.
\a`:ta, ,ou ca: |ca: |iu w|c: |c :cacs t|c :e« 1eo. ie!!· o: t|c :acio: A:cc:s cc Wa|l is u,
iat|c: a:c as soo: as l lcavc sc|ool, l`u goi:g to |c a: acto: at t|c ko,al D:auatic I|cat:c.`
l |ac luggcc G:a:cuot|c:`s olc |ic,clc ac:oss t|c :ailwa, |:icgc a:c wc wc:c wo||li:g alo:g
t|c ¡at|s a:c wi:ci:g :oacs cow: |clow t|c io:cst, \a:ta ¡ccalli:g a:c l o: t|c ca::ic: at t|c
|ac|, |olci:g o: to t|c s¡:i:gs oi t|c sacclc wit| stiiic:i:g ii:gc:s. Wc wc:c goi:g to a :cvivalist
uccti:g i: la::|ccc:. \a:ta was a t:uc |clicvc: a:c sa:g t|c cvc:|o¡ciul |,u:s i: a louc voicc,
w|ilc l was u:a|lc to co:ccal u, avc:sio:. l |atcc Goc a:c ¡csus, cs¡cciall, ¡csus, wit| |is
:cvolti:g to:c oi voicc, |is slus|, couuu:io: a:c |is |looc. Goc cic:`t cxist. :o o:c coulc ¡:ovc
|c cxistcc. li |c cxistcc, t|c: |c was cvicc:tl, a |o::ic goc, ¡ctt,ui:ccc, u:io:givi:g a:c |iascc,
t|c, coulc |cc¡ |iu: ¡ust :cac t|c ·lc Icstauc:t a:c t|c:c |c is i: all |is glo:,. A:c t|at`s
su¡¡oscc to |c t|c Goc oi lovc w|o lovcs cvc:,o:c. I|c wo:lc`s a s|it |olc, |ust as ·t:i:c|c:g
sa,s:
I|c iull uoo: was w|itc a|ovc t|c |ills, t|c uist a|ovc t|c uc:c a|solutcl, uotio:lcss. I|c
silc:cc woulc |avc |cc: cou¡lctc ii l |ac:`t tal|cc so uuc|. l siu¡l, |ac to tcll \a:ta l was ai:aic
oi Dcat|. A: olc ¡asto: i: t|c co:g:cgatio: |ac succc:l, cicc. ·: t|c ca, oi |is iu:c:al |c was
l,i:g i: a: o¡c: coiii: w|ilc t|c gucsts wc:c c:i:|i:g wi:c a:c uu:c|i:g ca|cs i: t|c :cxt :oou.
lt was |ot, ilics |uzzi:g :ou:c t|c co:¡sc. lis iacc was covc:cc wit| a w|itc clot| |ccausc |is
ill:css |ac catc: awa, |is lowc: |aw a:c u¡¡c: li¡. A swcctis| stc:c| cauc t|:oug| t|c |cav,
a:oua oi t|c ilowc:s. ·uccc:l,, t|c cau:cc ¡asto: :osc to a sitti:g ¡ositio:, to:c oii t|c stai:cc
clot|, :cvcali:g a :otti:g iacc, t|c: icll to o:c sicc, t|c coiii: ti¡¡i:g ovc: a:c t|c w|olc lot
la:ci:g o: t|c iloo:. I|c: ,ou coulc scc t|c ¡asto:`s wiic |ac t|:caccc a golc :i:g :ou:c t|c
¡asto:`s wiic a:c |auucc a t|iu|lc u¡ |is a:sc. lt`s t:uc, \a:ta. l was t|c:c u,scli a:c ii ,ou
co:`t |clicvc uc, as| u, |:ot|c: w|o was t|c:c too, |ut |c iai:tcc, oi cou:sc. :o, Dcat|`s |o::ic.
You co:`t |:ow w|at coucs aitc:wa:cs. All t|at stuii ¡csus sa,s a|out i: u, iat|c:`s |ousc a:c
ua:, ua:sio:s, l co:`t |clicvc it. :ot io: uc, t|a:|s. li l`vc at last csca¡cc u, ow: iat|c:`s
ua:sio:s, l`c ¡:cic: :ot to uovc i: wit| souco:c w|o`s ¡:o|a|l, wo:sc. Dcat|`s a: i:solu|lc
|o::o:, :ot |ccausc it |u:ts, |ut |ccausc it`s iull oi |castl, c:caus ,ou ca:`t wa|c u¡ i:ou.`
·:c ca, it was :ai:i:g, c:izzli:g a:c c:i¡¡i:g, a:c Au:t was visiti:g a :cig||ou: wit| scvc:c
stouac| ¡ai:s. Wc wc:c alo:c i: t|c c:au¡cc |ot :oou. lt was a uilc ca,, t|c :ai: st:ca|i:g t|c
suall wi:cows a:c :ustli:g a|ovc t|c loit. You`ll scc,` saic \a:ta. Autuu:
1
:: |c |c:c aitc: t|is
:ai:.` l succc:l, :calizcc ou: ca,s wc:c :ow :uu|c:cc, t|at ctc::it, cic |avc a: c:c a:c
sc¡a:atio: was a¡¡:oac|i:g. \a:ta was lca:i:g ovc: t|c ta|lc, |c: |:cat| suclli:g oi uil|. A
goocs t:ai: i:ou lo:la:gc lcavcs at qua:tc: ¡ast scvc:,` s|c saic. l ca: |ca: w|c: it lcavcs. l`ll
t|i:| a|out ,ou t|c:. You |ca: a:c scc it w|c: it ¡asscs Va:ous. I|c: ,ou uust t|i:| a|out uc.`
·|c st:ctc|cc out |c: |:oac su:|u::t |a:c wit| its ci:t, |ittc: :ails. l ¡ut u, |a:c o: |c:s a:c
s|c closcc |c:s :ou:c it. At last l sto¡¡cc tal|i:g, io: a: ovc:w|clui:g g:ici |ac silc:ccc uc.
Autuu: cauc a:c wc wc:c io:ccc to wca: s|ocs a:c soc|s. Wc |cl¡cc wit| t|c tu::i¡s, t|c
a¡¡lcs :i¡c:cc, t|c i:ost cauc a:c cvc:,t|i:g tu::cc to glass i: s¡acc a:c o: t|c g:ou:c. I|c ¡o:c
outsicc t|c Gooc Icu¡la:s` |all |ac a t|i: la,c: oi icc o: it a:c \a:ta`s uot|c: sta:tcc ¡ac|i:g.
I|c su: was |ot i: t|c uicclc oi t|c ca,, |ut it tu::cc |ittc:l, colc towa:cs cvc:i:g. I|c iiclcs
wc:c ¡loug|cc a:c t|c t|:cs|i:g uac|i:cs t|u:cc:cc awa, i: t|c |a::s. Wc |cl¡cc occasio:all,,
|ut li|cc to go oii o: ou: ow:. ·:c ca, wc |o::owcc lc:glu:c`s |oat a:c wc:t iis|i:g io: ¡i|c.
Wc caug|t a |ugc o:c w|ic| |it u, ii:gc:. W|c: lalla cut o¡c: t|c ¡i|c, s|c iou:c a wccci:g :i:g
i: its stouac|. Wit| a uag:ii,i:g glass, G:a:cuot|c: coulc scc t|c :auc la:i: c:g:avcc i:sicc t|c
:i:g. ·ouc ,ca:s ca:lic:, lat|c: |ac lost |is :i:g u¡ |, t|c Giua. lt cic :ot :cccssa:il, iollow t|at it
was t|c sauc :i:g.
·:c :aw colc uo::i:g, G:a:cuot|c: tolc us to go to t|c villagc sto:c |aliwa, |ctwcc: Dui:as
a:c D|u:uo. Wc got a liit wit| lc:glu:c`s so:, w|o was goi:g t|c sauc wa, to scll a: olc |o:sc.
Wc sat o: t|c |ac| ila¡ oi t|c wago:. I|c |ou::c, was slow a:c ciiiicult alo:g t|c :oac iull oi
¡ot|olcs uacc |, t|c :ai:. Wc cou:tcc ca:s ¡assi:g o: coui:g towa:cs us, a:c t|c, acccc u¡ to
t|:cc i: two |ou:s. At t|c sto:c, wc ¡ac|cc ou: |:a¡sac|s a:c sta:tcc oii |ouc o: ioot. W|c: wc
cauc to t|c olc ic::, ¡lacc, wc sat cow: o: a |lac| log t|at |ac |cc: was|cc as|o:c a:c c:a:|
a¡¡lc |uicc a:c atc sa:cwic|cs. l tal|cc to \a:ta a|out t|c :atu:c oi lovc, cx¡lai:i:g t|at l cic:`t
|clicvc i: ctc::al lovc, |uua: lovc was cgoisu, a:c ·t:i:c|c:g |ac saic t|at i: 1|e te!..o-. l
uai:tai:cc t|at lovc |ctwcc: ua: a:c woua: was uostl, lcc|c:,. l tolc |c: a|out a |cautiiul |ut
iat lac, w|o uacc lovc to u, iat|c: i: t|c vcst:, aitc: couuu:io: sc:vicc cvc:, I|u:sca, cvc:i:g.
I|c a¡¡lc |uicc all go:c, \a:ta t|:cw t|c |ottlc i:to t|c :ivc:. l wc:t o: a|out t:agic lovi:g
cou¡lcs i: litc:atu:c a:c ¡a:accc u, |:owlccgc a littlc. ·uccc:l, l iclt cc¡:csscc, aluost cizz,,
a:c as|cc i: cu|a::assuc:t w|ct|c: \a:ta t|oug|t l tal|cc too uuc|. :o, :ot at all,` s|c saic,
s|a|i:g |c: |cac g:avcl,. l |c¡t quict io: a lo:g w|ilc, wo:cc:i:g w|ct|c: to s¡i: a ,a:: a|out u,
ow: c:otic cx¡c:ic:ccs, |ut t|c: l |cga: to iccl uo:c ill t|a: cvc: a:c wo:cc:cc w|ct|c: t|c
a¡¡lc |uicc was ¡oiso:cc. l |ac to lic cow: o: a g:ass, slo¡c |, t|c :oac. li:c ic, :ai: sta:tcc to iall
a:c t|c :ivc: |a:| o¡¡ositc cisa¡¡ca:cc i:to t|c uist.
·:c :ig|t it s:owcc, t|c :ivc: tu::cc |lac|c: t|a: cvc: a:c all t|c g:cc:c:, a:c ,cllow colou:s
va:is|cc. I|c wi:c c:o¡¡cc a:c a: ovc:w|clui:g silc:cc icll. Alt|oug| it was |alilig|t, t|c
w|itc:css cazzlcc |ccausc it cauc i:ou |clow a:c st:uc| w|c:c t|c c,c was u:¡:otcctcc. Wc
wal|cc alo:g t|c :ailwa, cu|a:|uc:t towa:cs t|c Gooc Icu¡la:s` |all. I|c g:c, sawuill
c:ouc|cc saggi:g a:c a|a:co:cc u:cc: t|c wcig|t oi all t|at w|itc, t|c watc: i: t|c ¡ool :i¡¡lcc
cisc:cctl,, a:c t|c:c was a t|i: la,c: oi icc o: t|c watc: :ca:cst to t|c closcc |atc|wa,s.
Wc coulc :ot s¡ca|, :o: cic wc ca:c loo| at cac| ot|c:, t|c ¡ai: was too g:cat. Wc s|oo|
|a:cs, saic gooc|,c a:c ua,|c wc woulc scc cac| ot|c: :cxt suuuc:.
I|c: s|c tu::cc quic|l, awa, a:c :a: towa:cs t|c |ousc. l wal|cc alo:g t|c cu|a:|uc:t |ac|
to Va:ous t|i:|i:g t|at ii a t:ai: cauc alo:g it uig|t as wcll :u: st:aig|t ovc: uc.

·
kc|ca:sals oi ·t:i:c|c:g`s Ðo-.e .¡ Ðeo·| wc:c :csuucc o: l:ica, !0 ¡a:ua:, 1-¯o. A:cc:s l|
|ac |cc: ill io: a icw wcc|s, |ut |c claiucc t|at |c was :ow iull, :ccovc:cc.
Du:i:g t|osc u:cx¡cctccl, i:cc ca,s l wo:|cc wit| ulla lsa|sso:, t|c w:itc:, a:c Gu::cl
li:c|lou, t|c ci:ccto:, o: t|c sc:i¡t oi to.o1.·e t!o.e, |ascc o: a :ovcl w:ittc: |, ulla. I|c iilu
was to |c ¡:ocuccc |, u, cou¡a:,, ·i:cuatog:a¡|, a:c iilui:g was cuc to sta:t i: \a,. Wc
wc:c all iull, occu¡icc wit| ¡:c¡a:atio:s, c:awi:g u¡ co:t:acts a:c loo|i:g io: locatio:s. \,
tclcvisio: sc:ics, to.e ·. to.e, |ac |ust |cc: cou¡lctcc a:c t|c iilu vc:sio: was to |c s|ow: at t|c
wcc|c:c to visiti:g Auc:ica: |ac|c:s. A icw uo:t|s ca:lic:, l |ac cou¡lctcc t|c sc:i¡t oi 1|e
:e.¡e-·· i¸¸, w|ic| was to |c ¡:ocuccc |, Di:o Dc lau:c:tiis.
·lowl, a:c wit| souc |csitatio:, l |ac |cgu: to tu:: i: t|c ci:cctio: oi Auc:ica, t|c :caso:
|ci:g t|c g:catc: :csou:ccs t|c:c io: |ot| u,scli a:c ·i:cuatog:a¡|. I|c c|a:ccs oi ¡:ocuci:g
qualit, iilus wit| Auc:ica: uo:c,, ci:cctcc |, ot|c:s, wc:c i:c:casi:g s|a:¡l,. l was cxt:cucl,
auuscc |, ¡la,i:g iilu uogul, a :olc l :ow t|i:| l cic :ot ua:agc ¡a:ticula:l, wcll. lowcvc:,
·i:cuatog:a¡| :cstcc o: twi: ¡illa:s w|o |ac also |cc: closc i:ic:cs a:c collcagucs io: scvc:al
,ca:s. la:s·wc ·a:l|c:g ;ou: colla|o:atio: sta:tcc i: 1-.! wit| :o«1o·· o-1 1.-·e!1|e :o|e1
:.¸|·) w|o saw to ou: co:sicc:a|lc acui:ist:atio:, a:c lati:|a la:ago (j.o.-e, .-·. +o·o¬-! Ð.eo¬·,
1-.+, w|o loo|cc aitc: ou: i:c:casi:gl, livcl, iilui:g activitics. l:ou ·a:c:cw`s lilu ·ou¡a:,
wc |ac :c:tcc t|c to¡ iloo: oi a lovcl, cig|tcc:t|cc:tu:, |uilci:g, w|c:c wc |ac cqui¡¡cc a
s¡acious oiiicc wit| a sc:cc:i:g :oou, cciti:g :oous, a |itc|c: a:c a sc:sc oi |ouc.
lo: a uo:t| o: so, wc |ac |cc: visitcc |, two quict, cou:tcous gc:tlcuc: i:ou t|c Iax
Aut|o:it,, w|o |ac |cc: givc: a s¡acc i: ou: tcu¡o:a:il, cu¡t, oiiicc a:c wc:c |us, goi:g
t|:oug| ou: accou:ts. I|c, |ac also cx¡:csscc a wis| to |c allowcc to cxaui:c u, ·wiss ii:u,
lc:so:aiilu, so wc iuucciatcl, sc:t io: all t|c |oo|s a:c ¡laccc t|cu at t|c gc:tlcuc:`s cis¡osal.
:o o:c |ac t|c tiuc to |ot|c: a|out t|csc quict i:civicuals i: t|c cu¡t, :oou. Acco:ci:g to
u, cia:, :otcs, l scc t|at a voluui:ous ucuo:a:cuu i:ou t|c Iax Aut|o:it, la:ccc wit| us o:
I|u:sca, !! ¡a:ua:,. l cic :ot :cac it |ut sc:t it o: to u, law,c:,
A icw ,ca:s ca:lic:, l t|i:| i: 1-o¯, w|c: u, ii:a:ccs |cga: to gct |c,o:c uc i: w|at was
i:cccc a ¡lcasa:t wa, |ut a: avala:c|c, l as|cc u, i:ic:c la::, ·c|ci: to ii:c uc a:
i::c¡:oac|a|l, |o:cst law,c: w|o woulc ta|c ovc: as u, ii:a:cial gua:cia:`. lis c|oicc icll o: t|c
:clativcl, ,ou:g a:c |ig|l, couuc:ccc ·vc: la:alc lauc:, w|o i: accitio: to cvc:,t|i:g clsc was
a |ig| :a:|i:g |igwig i: t|c i:tc::atio:al scout uovcuc:t.
Wc got o: vc:, wcll togct|c: a:c co:tact wit| t|c ·wiss law,c: loo|i:g aitc: lc:so:aiilu was
also gooc. ·u: activitics uulti¡licc. c..e· o-1 P|.·¡e.·, :.e-e· ¡..¬ o Mo...o¸e, l|cll G:ccc`s +
Mo1¬o-· Ðe¡e-.e, a:c 1|e Mo¸.. t!o·e.
l: u, :otcs o: !! ¡a:ua:,, l sccu to |c lcss wo::icc a|out t|c ucuo:a:cuu i:ou t|c Iax
Aut|o:it, t|a: a|out a ¡ai:iul cczcua t|at |ac |:o|c: out o: t|c t|i:c ii:gc: oi u, lcit |a:c.
l:g:ic a:c l |ac |cc: ua::icc io: iivc ,ca:s. Wc livcc i: a :cwl, |uilt a¡a:tuc:t |ousc at
la:la¡la: 10 w|c:c ·t:i:c|c:g`s lousc |ac o:cc stooc.
Wc lcc a quict |ou:gcois liic, uccti:g i:ic:cs, goi:g to co:cc:ts a:c t|c t|cat:c, scci:g a
:uu|c: oi iilus a:c wo:|i:g wit| gusto.
I|is is a |:ici |ac|g:ou:c to w|at |a¡¡c:cc o: !0 ¡a:ua:, a:c su|scquc:tl,.
I|c:c a:c :o :otcs i: u, cia:, io: t|c uo:t|s t|at iollow. l :ctu::cc to w:iti:g t|cu,
i:tc:uittc:tl,, a|out a ,ca: latc:. ·o w|at iollows will |c w|at l :cucu|c: i: uouc:ta:, iuagcs,
s|a:¡l, i: iocus, |ut |lu::cc at t|c ccgcs.
Wc |ac sta:tcc :c|ca:si:g Ðo-.e .¡ Ðeo·| at |ali¡ast tc: as usual. Wc` wc:c A:cc:s l|,
\a:ga:ct|a l:oo|, ¡a:·loi ·t:a:c|c:g, t|c ¡:ocuctio: assista:t, t|c ¡:ou¡tc:, t|c stagc ua:agc:
a:c u,scli. Wc wc:c i: ¡lcasa:t, lig|t ¡:cuiscs |ig| u¡ u:cc: t|c :ooi oi D:auatc:.
Wc wc:c ¡:og:cssi:g i: a :claxcc a:c cas,goi:g wa,, as usuall, |a¡¡c:s at t|c sta:t oi
:c|ca:sals. I|c coo: o¡c:cc a:c \a:got Wi:st:ou, t|c t|cat:c ci:ccto:`s scc:cta:,, cauc i:. ·|c
saic t|at l was to go iuucciatcl, to |c: :oou w|c:c two ¡oliccuc: wc:c waiti:g to s¡ca| to uc. l
saic ¡c:|a¡s t|c, coulc |c givc: a cu¡ oi coiicc a:c t|c: wc coulc ucct at o:c o`cloc| w|c: wc
|ac ou: lu:c| |:ca|. \a:got Wi:st:ou saic t|c, wis|cc to s¡ca| to uc at o:cc. l as|cc w|at it was
all a|out, |ut \a:got cic :ot |:ow. Wc laug|cc i: asto:is|uc:t a:c l as|cc t|c acto:s to co:ti:uc
t|c :c|ca:sal a:c saic wc woulc asscu|lc agai: at |ali¡ast o:c, aitc: lu:c|.
\a:got a:c l wc:t cow: to |c: :oou, outsicc t|c ci:ccto:`s oiiicc. A gc:tlcua: i: a ca:| coat
was sitti:g t|c:c. lc got u¡, s|oo| |a:cs a:c gavc |is :auc. l as|cc |iu w|at was goi:g o:, w|,
t|c:c was so uuc| |u::,. lc loo|cc awa, a:c saic souct|i:g a|out it |ci:g t|is tax |usi:css a:c l
|ac to couc wit| |iu iuucciatcl, io: qucstio:i:g. l sta:cc at |iu li|c a uacua: a:c saic l cic:`t
u:cc:sta:c, w|ic| was t:uc. I|c: l succc:l, :cucu|c:cc t|at ¡co¡lc i: u, situatio: ;i: Auc:ica:
iilus, usuall, call u¡ t|ci: law,c:. l saic t|at u, law,c:¨ uust cc:tai:l, |c ¡:csc:t at a:,
qucstio:i:g a:c l woulc tclc¡|o:c |iu. ·till loo|i:g awa,, t|c ¡oliccua: saic t|at was iu¡ossi|lc,
as u, law,c: was also i:volvcc a:c |ac |iuscli |cc: |:oug|t i: io: qucstio:i:g. l as|cc |o¡clcssl,
ii l coulc go to u, :oou a:c ictc| u, coat. I|c: l`ll couc wit| ,ou,` saic t|c ¡oliccua:. ·o wc
wc:t. ·: t|c wa, to u, :oou, wc uct scvc:al ¡co¡lc w|o loo|cc i: su:¡:isc at t|c st:a:gc:
wal|i:g |ust |c|i:c uc. l uct a collcaguc i: t|c ¡:ocucc:`s co::ico:. A:c:`t ,ou :c|ca:si:g·` |c
saic i: su:¡:isc. l`vc |cc: :a||cc |, t|c ¡olicc,` l saic. \, collcaguc laug|cc.
W|c: l |ac got u, outcoo: clot|cs o:, l succc:l, |ac a violc:t attac| oi stouac| c:au¡ a:c
saic l |ac to c:a¡. I|c ¡oliccua: i:s¡cctcc t|c toilct a:c io:|acc uc to loc| t|c coo:. I|c c:au¡s
cou|lcc uc u¡ a:c l cciccatcc lc:gt|il, a:c :oisil,. I|c ¡oliccua: |ac sat cow: |ust outsicc t|c
|alio¡c: coo:.
At last wc wc:c :cac, to lcavc t|c t|cat:c. l was iccli:g ill a:c was silc:tl, lauc:ti:g t|c iact
t|at l |ac :o talc:t io: iai:ti:g. Wc uct acto:s a:c ot|c: staii o: t|ci: wa, to t|c ca:tcc: io:
lu:c|. l g:cctcc t|cu |lca|l,. l :oticcc t|c i:quisitivc iacc oi t|c gi:l at t|c switc||oa:c.
Wc cuc:gcc i:to :,|:ogata: a:c a:ot|c: ¡oliccua: cauc u¡ a:c g:cctcc uc. lc |ac |cc:
¡ostcc o: t|c c:oss:oacs |ctwcc: :,|:ogata: a:c Aluloisgata: to ua|c su:c l cic :ot csca¡c.
Dctcctivc lc:t la:lsso: i:ou t|c Iax Aut|o:it, |ac ¡a:|cc |ust outsicc t|c t|cat:c. ;·:
¡c:|a¡s it was |is collcaguc. l coulc :cvc: tcll t|c two gc:tlcuc: a¡a:t, |ot| wc:c ila||, a:c wo:c
ilowc:cc s|i:ts, |ac g:u||, cou¡lcxio:s a:c ci:t, ii:gc::ails., Wc got i:to |is ca: a:c c:ovc oii. l
was i: t|c |ac| |ctwcc: two ¡oliccuc:, Dctcctivc la:lsso: ;o: |is collcaguc, at t|c w|ccl. ·:c oi
t|c ¡oliccuc: was a i:ic:cl, soul a:c uacc co:vc:satio:, laug|cc a:c tolc sto:ics. l as|cc |iu ii |c
coulc ¡ossi|l, |c quict. A littlc |u:t, |c :c¡licc t|at |c |ac o:l, wa:tcc to lig|tc: t|c atuos¡|c:c.
I|c lolicc ·u¡c:i:tc:cc:t was :csti:g i: a: oiiicc :ca: lu:gs|olusto:g, t|oug| l au :ot
a|solutcl, cc:tai: oi t|at io: t|c iuagcs a:c :ow g:owi:g lcss clca: a:c t|c cialoguc uo:c a:c uo:c
i:auci|lc.
A ¡lcasa:t olcc: ua: cauc towa:cs uc a:c i:t:ocuccc |iuscli. lc |ac ¡laccc a :uu|c: oi
¡a¡c:s o: t|c ccs| a:c as|cc uc to loo| at t|cu. l as|cc io: a glass oi watc:, |ccausc u, uout|,
t|:oat a:c gullct |ac c:icc u¡. l too| a c:i:|. \, |a:c was s|a|i:g a:c l iou:c it |a:c to |:cat|c.
la:t|c: awa, i: t|c :oou ;w|ic| succc:l, sccucc c:clcss, souc i:ccii:a|lc ¡co¡lc |ac asscu|lcc,
iivc o: six i: :uu|c:, ¡ossi|l, uo:c, all scatcc. I|c ·ouuissio:c: saic t|at l |ac uacc ialsc
cccla:atio:s a:c t|at lc:so:aiilu was a :ullit,`. l :c¡licc quitc t:ut|iull, t|at l :cvc: :cac u,
cccla:atio:s a:c l |ac :cvc: |ac a:, i:tc:tio: oi wit||olci:g uo:c, i:ou t|c statc. I|c
·ouuissio:c: sta:tcc to as| uc a|out ii:st o:c t|i:g t|c: a:ot|c:. l :c¡catcc t|at l |ac :cqucstcc
ot|c: ¡co¡lc to scc to u, ii:a:ccs |ccausc l was quitc i:cou¡ctc:t to ccal wit| suc| uattc:s, a:c l
woulc :cvc: gct i:volvcc i: a:, :is|, u:cc:ta|i:gs w|ic| woulc |c totall, alic: to u, :atu:c. l
willi:gl, acuittcc l |ac sig:cc ¡a¡c:s l |ac :ot :cac. li l |ac :cac a:,, t|c: l |ac :ot u:cc:stooc
t|cu.
l: t|c w|olc oi t|is uisc:a|lc c¡isocc w|ic| lastcc scvc:al ,ca:s a:c causcc uc a:c ui:c
co:sicc:a|lc ¡ai:, w|ic| cost a io:tu:c i: lcgal iccs, w|ic| sc:t uc a|:oac io: :i:c ,ca:s a:c ii:all,
lcc to a tax ccua:c io: 1·0,000 |:o:c: l was guilt, oi o:l, o:c t|i:g t|at l |ac sig:cc ¡a¡c:s l
|ac :ot :cac o: |ac :ot u:cc:stooc. I|us l |ac a¡¡:ovcc ii:a:cial o¡c:atio:s t|at l |ac :o g:as¡ oi.
:o: was l ca¡a|lc oi su¡c:visi:g t|cu. l |ac |cc: assu:cc cvc:,t|i:g was lcgal a:c a|ovc |oa:c a:c
|ac co:tc:tcc u,scli wit| t|at. li l cic :ot u:cc:sta:c, :o: cic u, :icc law,c:, i:tc::atio:al scout
lcacc: t|at |c was, |:ow w|at |c |ac lct |iuscli i: io:. ·o a :uu|c: oi t:a:sactio:s wc:c ccalt
wit| i:co::cctl, o: :ot at all. I|is i: its tu:: |ac uacc t|c tax aut|o:itics sus¡icious, wit| gooc
:caso:. Dctcctivc la:lsso: a:c |is collcaguc t|oug|t t|c, |ac a |ig catc|. I|c, |ac .|cc: givc: a
i:cc |a:c |, a ¡uzzlcc a:c ig:o:a:t ¡:osccuto:, i:ig|tc:cc t|at l woulc ¡:o|a|l, ilcc t|c cou:t:,
a:c coc| a s:oo| at t|c aut|o:itics.
I|c |ou:s wc:t |,. I|c gc:tlcuc: at t|c ot|c: c:c oi t|at :cua:|a|l, cxtc:ccc :oou
cisa¡¡ca:cc o:c |, o:c. l uostl, sat i: silc:cc a:c occasio:all, saic i: a cista:t voicc t|at t|is was a
ua|o: catast:o¡|c. l also :cua:|cc to t|c ·ouuissio:c: t|at it was a s:i¡ io: t|c uccia. lc
calucc uc cow: |, tclli:g uc t|at ou: co:vc:satio: was co:iicc:tial. I|c, |ac ¡ut |iu |c:c i:
lu:gs|olusto:g, ia: awa, i:ou ¡olicc |cacqua:tc:s, to avoic a:ousi:g a:, u::cccssa:, attc:tio:. l
as|cc ii l coulc ¡|o:c u, wiic, |ut l was :ot allowcc to |ccausc t|c, wc:c sca:c|i:g ou:
a¡a:tuc:t at t|at vc:, uouc:t. I|c: t|c tclc¡|o:c :a:g. lt was :·e-·|o Ðo¸/!o1e· w|o`c |ac a ti¡
oii. I|c :icc ¡oliccua: was cisco:cc:tcc a:c :cqucstcc t|c |ou::alist :ot to w:itc a:,t|i:g. Aitc:
t|at, |c tolc uc l coulc :ot t:avcl a:,w|c:c a:c t|at t|c, wc:c co:iiscati:g u, ¡ass¡o:t. A:
i:tc::ogatio: was |ci:g a::a:gcc. l sig:cc souct|i:g, l cic:`t |:ow w|at, |ccausc l :o lo:gc:
u:cc:stooc w|at a:,o:c was sa,i:g to uc.
Wc got u¡. I|c ¡oliccua: ¡attcc u, |ac| |i:cl, a:c u:gcc uc to go o: livi:g a:c wo:|i:g as
usual. l :c¡catcc t|at t|is was a ua|o: catast:o¡|c, coulc:`t |c u:cc:sta:c t|at it was a ua|o:
catast:o¡|c·
li:all, l iou:c u,scli out o: t|c st:cct agai:. lt was s:owi:g slig|tl,, cus| ialli:g. lvc:,t|i:g
was vc:, clca:, |ut i: |lac|a:cw|itc, :o colou:, :oug| li|c a cu¡licatc. \, tcct| wc:c c|attc:i:g
a:c cvc:, t|oug|t o: iccli:g :uu|cc. l too| a taxi to t|c :ca: oi t|c t|cat:c w|c:c l |ac ¡a:|cc u,
ca:. ·: u, wa, |ouc, l ¡asscc t|c liic Gua:cs` |a::ac|s a:c g:cat ilaucs wc:c s|ooti:g out oi t|c
:ooi i:to t|c ca:|c:i:g lig|t. :ow, aitc:wa:cs, l wo:cc: w|ct|c: l |ac iuagi:cc it. l saw :o ii:c
c:gi:cs o: c:owcs. lt was ¡c:icctl, quict, s:ow ialli:g a:c t|c liic Gua:cs` |a::ac|s o: ii:c.
W|c: l ii:all, got |ouc, l:g:ic was t|c:c. I|c sca:c| oi t|c a¡a:tuc:t |ac ta|c: |c: totall, |,
su:¡:isc. I|c ¡olicc |ac |cc: ¡olitc a:c :ot ¡a:ticula:l, t|o:oug|. I|c, |ac ta|c: awa, a :uu|c:
oi iilcs, uostl, io: t|c sa|c oi a¡¡ca:a:ccs. I|c: s|c |ac sat cow: to wait a:c, w|c: t|c tiuc
c:aggcc, |ac uacc souc ca|cs.
l tclc¡|o:cc la::, ·c|ci: a:c ·vc: la:alc lauc:. lot| wc:c ¡c:¡lcxcc a:c s|oc|cc. W|at
|a¡¡c:cc :cxt t|at cvc:i:g l co:`t |:ow. Dic wc |avc ci::c:· Wc uust |avc. Dic wc watc|
tclcvisio:· \a,|c wc watc|cc tclcvisio:.
latc t|at cvc:i:g aitc: wc |ac al:cac, go:c to |cc, it st:uc| uc t|at t|c uccia woulc |csicgc
la:la¡la: 10 t|c :cxt uo::i:g. l ¡ac|cc a icw :cccssitics a:c sct oii io: t|c littlc a¡a:tuc:t i:
G:cvtu:cgata: t|at Gu: a:c l |ac uovcc i:to aitc: ou: ilig|t to la:is i: t|c autuu: oi 1-+-. lvc:
si:cc t|c:, l |avc alwa,s uovcc to G:cvtu:cgata: w|c:cvc: catast:o¡|cs, colla¡scc ua::iagcs a:c
ot|c: ciiiicultics |avc a:isc:.
l got t|c:c at uic:ig|t. I|c :oou`s a:o:,uit, gavc uc a sc:sc oi sccu:it,. l too| a slcc¡i:g ¡ill
a:c icll aslcc¡.
l |avc io:gottc: w|at |a¡¡c:cc o: t|c ·atu:ca, a:c ·u:ca,. l s|ut u,scli i: at G:cvtu:cgata:
a:c wc:t |ouc io: a icw |ou:s i: t|c cvc:i:g, s:ca|i:g t|:oug| t|c ga:agc a:c uccti:g :o o:c.
I|c uccia |ac a iiclc ca, o: ¡laca:cs, i:o:t ¡agcs a:c t|c tclcvisio: :cws. \, twclvc ,ca:olc
so: :ciuscc to go to sc|ool. A:guis| ovc:cauc |iu a:c |c c:sco:ccc |iuscli i: t|c ¡:o|cctio:
:oou oi koca lva:: ci:cua wit| |is i:ic:c :,¡a:`, t|c ¡:o|cctio:ist, w|o was to |c a co:ti:uous
su¡¡o:t to |iu i: t|c ciiiicult tiucs to couc. l co:`t |:ow |ow u, ot|c: c|ilc:c: :cactcc |ccausc
l saw littlc o: :ot|i:g oi t|cu. \ost oi t|cu |clo:gcc to lcitist g:ou¡s a:c, as l iou:c out latc:,
t|oug|t t|at it sc:vcc Dac :ig|t. ·ouc wc:c co:vi:ccc l was guilt,.
I|c |:ca|cow: cauc o: \o:ca, uo::i:g. l was sitti:g at |ouc i: t|c |ig :oou o: t|c ii:st
iloo:, :caci:g a |oo| a:c listc:i:g to uusic. l:g:ic |ac go:c to a uccti:g wit| t|c law,c:s. l iclt
:ot|i:g. l was quitc collcctcc |ut soucw|at co¡c, i:ou slcc¡i:g ¡ills, w|ic| at t|at tiuc l was :ot
i: t|c |a|it oi usi:g.
I|c uusic ccascc a:c t|c ta¡c sto¡¡cc wit| a suall |a:g. i· was a|solutcl, quict, t|c :oois o:
t|c o¡¡ositc sicc oi t|c st:cct w|itc a:c t|c s:ow ialli:g slowl,. l sto¡¡cc :caci:g. A:,|ow, l was
ii:ci:g it |a:c to ta|c a:,t|i:g i:. I|c lig|t i: t|c :oou was s|a:¡, wit| :o s|acows. A cloc|
st:uc| a icw tiucs. lc:|a¡s l was aslcc¡, ¡c:|a¡s l |ac ta|c: t|at s|o:t stc¡ i:ou t|c accc¡tcc
:calit, oi t|c sc:scs i:to t|c ot|c: :calit,. l cic:`t |:ow a:c :ow l was ccc¡ cow: i: a uotio:lcss
vacuuu, ¡ai:lcss a:c i:cc oi cuotio:s. l closcc u, c,cs. l t|oug|t l |ac closcc u, c,cs, t|c:
sc:scc t|c:c was souco:c i: t|c :oou a:c o¡c:cc u, c,cs. l: t|c s|a:¡ lig|t, a icw uct:cs awa,, l
u,scli was sta:ci:g loo|i:g at u,scli. I|c cx¡c:ic:cc was co:c:ctc a:c i:co:tcsta|lc. l was
sta:ci:g o: t|c ,cllow :ug loo|i:g at u,scli sitti:g i: t|c c|ai:. l was sitti:g i: t|c c|ai: loo|i:g at
u,scli sta:ci:g o: t|c ,cllow :ug. ·o ia:, t|c: l w|o was sitti:g i: t|c c|ai: was t|c o:c i: c|a:gc
oi :cactio:s. I|is was t|c c:c, t|c:c was :o :ctu::. l coulc |ca: u,scli waili:g.
l |avc o:cc o: twicc i: u, liic to,cc wit| t|c icca oi couuitti:g suicicc a:c at o:c tiuc i: u,
,out| l stagcc a iuu|li:g attcu¡t, |ut l |avc :cvc: ta|c: t|csc gaucs sc:iousl,. \, cu:iosit, |as
|cc: too g:cat, u, lovc oi liic too :o|ust a:c u, ica: oi ccat| too c|ilcis|l, solic.
\, attitucc to liic, |owcvc:, ¡:csu¡¡oscc a ¡:o¡c: a:c co:ti:uous co:t:ol oi u, :clatio: to
:calit,, iuagi:i:gs a:c c:caus. W|c: t|at co:t:ol cic :ot iu:ctio: souct|i:g w|ic| |ac :cvc:
|a¡¡c:cc to uc |cio:c, :ot cvc: i: u, ca:l, c|ilc|ooc t|c uac|i:c:, cx¡loccc a:c u,
icc:tit, was t|:catc:cc. l coulc |ca: u, w|i:i:g voicc. l sou:ccc li|c a: i:|u:cc cog. l got u¡ out
oi u, c|ai: to lcavc t|:oug| t|c wi:cow.
W|at l cic:`t |:ow was t|at l:g:ic |ac couc |ouc. ·uccc:l, ·tu:c lcla:cc:, u, |cst i:ic:c
a:c cocto:, was t|c:c. A: |ou: latc: l iou:c u,scli i: la:oli:s|a los¡ital ¡s,c|iat:ic cli:ic. l was
¡ut |, u,scli i:to a la:gc :oou wit| iou: ot|c: |ccs i: it. A ¡:oicsso: coi:g |is :ou:cs s¡o|c
|i:cl, to uc a:c l saic souct|i:g a|out t|c s|auc, c:awi:g o: u, iavou:itc quotc a|out ica:
ua:iicsti:g w|at is ica:cc, ¡ct:iiicc |, g:ici. l was givc: a: i:|cctio: a:c icll aslcc¡.
I|c t|:cc wcc|s i: t|at wa:c ¡asscc ¡lcasa:tl,. Wc wc:c a ucc| collcctio: oi c:uggcc zou|ics
iollowi:g a: u:ccua:ci:g cail, :outi:c wit|out ¡:otcst. l was givc: iivc |luc Valiuus a ca, a:c
two \ogaco:s at :ig|t. li l iclt i: t|c slig|tcst u:cas,, l wc:t at o:cc to t|c :u:sc a:c was givc: a:
cxt:a cosc. l slc¡t |cavil, a:c c:caulcssl, at :ig|t a:c cozcc oii io: scvc:al |ou:s a ca,.
l: |ctwcc: tiucs, wit| w|at :cuai:cc oi u, ¡:oicssio:al cu:iosit, l cx¡lo:cc u, su::ou:ci:gs.
l was livi:g |c|i:c a sc:cc: i: u, la:gc cu¡t, :oou, uostl, :caci:g wit|out :cgistc:i:g. W|at l
was :caci:g. \cals wc:c ta|c: i: a suall ci:i:g :oou, t|c co:vc:satio: ¡olitc, ¡utti:g o:c u:cc:
:o o|ligatio:. :o cuotio:al out|u:sts wc:c o|vious, t|c o:l, cxcc¡tio: |ci:g a iauous scul¡to:
w|o |ccauc cistu:|cc o:c cvc:i:g a:c aluost g:ou:c |is tcct| to ¡icccs. ·t|c:wisc l ca:
:cucu|c: a sac gi:l w|o co:ti:uall, iclt t|c :ccc to was| |c: |a:cs, a gc:tlc sixioot ,ou:g ua:
w|o |ac |au:cicc a:c was o: \ct|aco:c. lc was ta|c: o:cc a wcc| to ullc:a|c: \c:tal los¡ital
w|c:c uuc|ciscusscc :csca:c| was |ci:g ca::icc out. I|c:c was also a silc:t olcc: ua: w|o |ac
t:icc to couuit suicicc |, sawi:g at |is w:ists wit| a |a:csaw. A uicclcagcc woua: wit| a stc::
lovcl, iacc was suiic:i:g i:ou uoto:a:xict, a:c wal|cc i: silc:cc io: uilcs a:c uilcs t|:oug| t|c
co::ico:s.
l: t|c cvc:i:g, wc asscu|lcc i: i:o:t oi t|c tclcvisio: a:c watc|cc t|c Wo:lc lcc ·|ati:g
·|au¡io:s|i¡s o: a :aus|ac|lc olc |lac|a:cw|itc sct wit| iuzz, ¡ictu:cs a:c |ac sou:c, |ut
t|at cic:`t uattc:, :o: cic it givc :isc to a:, couuc:t.
l:g:ic visitcc uc a cou¡lc oi tiucs a ca, a:c wc tal|cc calul, i: a i:ic:cl, wa,. ·ouctiucs wc
wc:t to a uati:cc at t|c ci:cua, souctiucs ·a:c:cws a::a:gcc a s|owi:g i: t|ci: sc:cc:i:g :oou.
I|c ,ou:g ua: o: \ct|aco:c was allowcc to couc to t|at.
l :cac :o ¡a¡c:s, a:c :cit|c: saw :o: |ca:c a:, :cws ¡:og:auucs. ·lowl, a:c iu¡c:cc¡ti|l,,
u, a:xict, cisa¡¡ca:cc u, liic`s uost iait|iul cou¡a:io:, i:|c:itcc i:ou |ot| u, uot|c: a:c
u, iat|c:, ¡laccc i: t|c vc:, cc:t:c oi u, icc:tit,, u, ccuo: |ut also u, i:ic:c s¡u::i:g uc o:.
:ot o:l, t|c to:uc:t, t|c a:guis| a:c t|c iccli:g oi i::c¡a:a|lc |uuiliatio: iaccc, |ut t|c c:ivi:g
io:cc oi u, c:cativit, was also ccli¡scc a:c icll awa,.
l iuagi:c l coulc casil, |avc |ccouc a wa:c casc io: t|c :cst oi u, liic, as u, cxistc:cc was so
wociull, ¡lcasa:t, so u:ccua:ci:g, so lovi:gl, ¡:otcctcc. :ot|i:g was cit|c: :cal o: u:gc:t a:,
lo:gc:, :ot|i:g wo::,i:g o: ¡ai:iul. l uovcc wit| cautio:, all u, :cactio:s ccla,cc o: :o:
cxistc:t, scxualit, ccascc, liic |ccauc a: clcg, su:g |, a uac:igal c|oi: ia: i:sicc u:cc: souc
cc|oi:g a:c|, t|c :osc wi:cows glowi:g a:c tclli:g iai:, talcs :o lo:gc: a:, co:cc:: oi ui:c.
·:c aitc::oo:, l as|cc t|c i:ic:cl, ¡:oicsso: ii |c |ac cvc: i: |is liic cu:cc a:,o:c. lc t|oug|t
sc:iousl, a:c :c¡licc, ·u:c is a |ig wo:c.` I|c: |c s|oo| |is |cac a:c suilcc c:cou:agi:gl,.
\i:utcs, ca,s a:c wcc|s wc:t |,.
l co:`t |:ow w|at uacc uc |:ca| out oi t|is |c:ucticall, scalcc sccu:it,. l as|cc t|c ¡:oicsso:
ii l coulc uovc to ·o¡|ia|cuuct, o: t:ial. lc gavc uc ¡c:uissio:, at t|c sauc tiuc wa::i:g uc
i:sistc:tl, :ot to |:ca| oii u, Valiuu cu:c too a|:u¡tl,. l t|a:|cc |iu io: all |is |i:c:css, saic
gooc|,c to u, icllow ¡atic:ts a:c co:atcc a colou: tclcvisio: to ou: ca, :oou.
·:c ca, at t|c c:c oi lc|:ua:,, l iou:c u,scli i: a quict couio:ta|lc :oou at ·o¡|ia|cuuct,
I|c wi:cow iaccc out o:to t|c ga:cc:. l coulc scc t|c ,cllow ¡a:so:agc, u, c|ilc|ooc |ouc, u¡
t|c:c o: t|c |ill. lvc:, uo::i:g, l wal|cc io: a: |ou: i: t|c ¡a:|, t|c s|acow oi a: cig|t ,ca:olc
|csicc uc, it was |ot| stiuulati:g a:c u:ca::,.
·t|c:wisc t|is was a tiuc oi violc:t to:uc:t. l: ¡:otcst agai:st t|c ¡:oicsso:`s i:st:uctio:s, l
sto¡¡cc ta|i:g |ot| Valiuu a:c \ogaco: a:c t|c ciicct was iuucciatc. \, su¡¡:csscc a:xict,
s|ot u¡ li|c t|c ilauc oi a |lowlau¡, i:sou:ia was total, u, ccuo:s :agi:g. l t|oug|t l woulc |c
to:: a¡a:t |, i:tc::al ccto:atio:s. l sta:tcc :caci:g t|c ¡a¡c:s, i:volvi:g u,scli i: all t|at |ac
|a¡¡c:cc i: u, a|sc:cc, :caci:g |i:c a:c u:|i:c lcttc:s t|at |ac ¡ilcc u¡, tal|i:g to law,c:s a:c
ua|i:g co:tact wit| i:ic:cs.
I|is was :cit|c: |:avc:, :o: ccs¡c:atio:, |ut t|c i:sti:ct io: scli¡:csc:vatio: w|ic|, ccs¡itc o:
:at|c: t|a:|s to |ci:g u:co:scious at t|c ¡s,c|iat:ic cli:ic, |ac |ac tiuc to collcct itscli i:to souc
:csista:cc.
l wc:t o: to t|c attac| agai:st t|c ccuo:s wit| a uct|oc t|at |ac wo:|cc wcll i: ¡:cvious
c:iscs. l civiccc t|c ca, a:c t|c :ig|t i:to ccii:itc u:its oi tiuc, cac| oi w|ic| was iillcc wit|
activitics o:ga:izcc |cio:c|a:c, altc::atcc wit| ¡c:iocs oi :cst. ·:l, |, :igicl, iollowi:g u, ca,
a:c :ig|t ¡:og:auuc coulc l uai:tai: u, sa:it, agai:st to:uc:ts so violc:t t|at t|c, |ccauc
i:tc:csti:g. Io ¡ut it |:icil,, l :ctu::cc to ¡la::i:g a:c stagi:g u, liic wit| g:cat ca:c.
I|:oug| t|csc :outi:cs, l quitc quic|l, ¡ut u, ¡:oicssio:al cgo i: o:cc: a:c was a|lc to
i:vcstigatc wit| i:tc:cst t|c to:uc:ts tca:i:g uc to ¡icccs. l sta:tcc ta|i:g :otcs a:c soo: cauc
closc to t|c ¡a:so:agc u¡ t|c:c o: t|c |ill. A calu voicc soucw|c:c uai:tai:cc t|at u, :cactio: to
w|at |ac |a¡¡c:cc to uc was cxaggc:atcc, t|at su:¡:isi:gl, c:oug| l |ac :cactcc wit| su|uissio:
i:stcac oi a:gc:, t|at ccs¡itc cvc:,t|i:g l |ac cccla:cc u,scli guilt, wit|out |ci:g guilt,, c:avi:g
¡u:is|uc:t so t|at l woulc :cccivc io:givc:css a:c :clcasc as quic|l, as ¡ossi|lc. I|c voicc uoc|cc
uc |i:cl,. W|o woulc io:givc ,ou· I|c Iax Aut|o:it,· Dctcctivc la:lsso: wit| |is ilowc:cc s|i:t
a:c ci:t, :ails· W|o· You: c:cuics· You: c:itics· Will Goc io:givc ,ou· A:c givc ,ou a|solutio: ·
W|at co ,ou t|i:|· Will ·loi laluc o: t|c li:g issuc a couuu:iquc stati:g t|at ,ou |avc :ow
|cc: ¡u:is|cc, as|cc io: io:givc:css a:c |cc: io:givc:· ;latc: i: la:is, l switc|cc o: t|c tclcvisio:
quitc |, c|a:cc a:c t|c:c was ·loi laluc assu:i:g cvc:,o:c i: ¡c:icct l:c:c| t|at t|c tax sto:,
was cxaggc:atcc, :ot t|c :csult oi socialccuoc:atic tax ¡olicics, a:c t|at |c was a i:ic:c oi ui:c.
At t|at uouc:t l ccs¡iscc |iu.,
A stiilcc :agc, cou¡:csscc a:c silc:ccc io: souc co:sicc:a|lc tiuc, sta:tcc uovi:g cow: i:
u, ca:|cst co::ico:s. lut l uust:`t cxaggc:atc: Io t|c outsicc wo:lc l was ¡itiiul. l was w|i:c,
a:c i::ita|lc. l too| all tc:cc::css a:c ca:c io: g:a:tcc |ut g:izzlcc li|c a s¡oilt c|ilc. l:sicc u,
:outi:cs a:c iu¡oscc sclicisci¡li:c, l was ¡c:¡lcxcc a:c co:iuscc, :ot |:owi:g o:c ca, w|at t|c
:cxt woulc |:i:g. l coulc :ot ¡la: a wcc| a|cac. W|at woulc u, liic |c li|c, u, wo:| at t|c
t|cat:c, t|c iilui:g· W|at woulc |a¡¡c: to ·i:cuatog:a¡|, t|c a¡¡lc oi u, c,c· W|at woulc
|a¡¡c: to u, cu¡lo,ccs· At :ig|t, w|c: l was u:a|lc to suuuo: u¡ t|c c:c:g, to :cac, a w|olc
¡latoo: oi ccuo:s was t|c:c to attac| uc. l: t|c ca,tiuc, wit|i: t|c a¡¡a:c:t o:cc:, c|aos
:cig:cc as ii i: a |ou|cc cit,.
l: t|c uicclc oi \a:c|, wc uovcc out to la:o, w|c:c t|c lo:g st:ugglc |ctwcc: wi:tc: a:c
s¡:i:g |ac |ust sta:tcc, o:c ca, st:o:g su:lig|t a:c uilc wi:cs, s|iuuc:i:g :cilcctio:s o: t|c
watc: a:c :cw|o:: lau|s scuttli:g a|out o: t|c |a:c t|awccout g:ou:c, t|c :cxt ca, sto:u,
wi:cs i:ou t|c tu:c:as, t|c s:ow coui:g i: |o:izo:tall,, t|c scas :agi:g, wi:cows a:c :oacs
|loc|cc, t|c clcct:icit, oii. li:cs, ¡a:aiii: stovcs a:c |attc:, :acio.
All t|at was calui:g. l wo:|cc |a:c, w:iti:g u¡ u, i:vcstigatio: w|ic| |ac |cc: givc: t|c
wo:|i:g titlc oi 1|e c!.·e1 r..¬. l slowl, uacc u, wa, alo:g u:iauilia: :oacs aluost alwa,s
lcaci:g to silc:cc a:c t|c sc:satio: oi |avi:g lost u, wa,. lut w:iti:g was ¡a:t oi u, cail,
cisci¡li:c.
At :ig|t l too| \ogaco: a:c Valiuu w|c: l iclt t|c t|:cat oi a::i|ilatio: was too g:cat. l coulc
at lcast co:t:ol u, ow: i:ta|c :ow, t|oug| u, :csto:cc |ala:cc was ¡:cca:ious.
l:g:ic |ac to go to ·toc||olu o: u:gc:t |usi:css a:c suggcstcc l s|oulc go wit| |c:, |ut l cic
:ot wa:t to. ·|c suggcstcc souco:c s|oulc couc a:c |cc¡ uc cou¡a:, t|c icw ca,s s|c woulc |c
awa,, |ut l wa:tcc t|at cvc: lcss.
l c:ovc |c: to t|c ai:¡o:t. ·: t|c wa, |ctwcc: la:osu:c a:c lu:gc, wc uct a ¡olicc ca:, a:
u:usual sig|t i: :o:t|c:: Gotla:c. l was scizcc wit| ¡a:ic a:c t|oug|t t|c, |ac couc to ictc| uc.
l:g:ic tolc uc l was w:o:g. l calucc cow: a:c lcit |c: at Vis|, ai:¡o:t, |ut w|c: l got |ac| |ouc
to lauua:s, a littlc s:ow |ac iallc: a:c t|c:c wc:c i:cs| ioot¡:i:ts a:c t,:ct:ac|s outsicc t|c
|ousc. l was t|c: uttc:l, co:vi:ccc t|c ¡olicc |ac |cc: loo|i:g io: uc. l loc|cc all t|c coo:s,
loaccc u, :iilc a:c sat i: t|c |itc|c: w|c:c l coulc |cc¡ watc| o: t|c :oac a:c t|c ¡a:|i:g ¡lacc. l
waitcc io: |ou:s, u, uout| a:c t|:oat c:,. l c:a:| souc ui:c:al watc: a:c, i: u, ui:c, l t|oug|t
calul, |ut wit|out |o¡c t|at t|is was t|c c:c. I|c \a:c| twilig|t ccscc:ccc silc:tl, a:c s|a:¡l,.
:o ¡olicc a¡¡ca:cc. G:acuall, l :calizcc t|at l was |c|avi:g li|c a ca:gc:ous lu:atic. l u:loaccc
t|c :iilc, loc|cc it awa, a:c coo|cc ci::c:.
W:iti:g |ccauc uo:c a:c uo:c ciiiicult. \, a:xict, ¡c:sistcc, io: t|c:c wc:c :uuou:s oi a
c|a:gc oi tax cvasio:, t|c w|olc uattc: t|us |ccoui:g a |a:al tax aiiai:.
Wc waitcc. :ot|i:g |a¡¡c:cc. l :cac ·clua lagc:loi`s je.o·o!e¬, uai:tai:i:g u, :outi:cs wit|
souc ciiiicult,. Wcc:csca, !+ \a:c| was a calu clouc, ca,, t|c s:ow t|awi:g a:c c:i¡¡i:g oii
t|c :ooi. l:ou u, :oou l coulc |ca: t|c tclc¡|o:c :i:gi:g a:c l:g:ic a:swc:i:g. ·|c t|:cw cow:
t|c :cccivc: a:c cauc :u::i:g i:, wca:i:g |c: cvc:,ca, |luc c|cc| c:css. ·|c sla¡¡cc |c: t|ig|
wit| |c: :ig|t |a:c a:c c:icc, D:o¡¡cc:`
At ii:st l iclt :ot|i:g, t|c: slowl, l iclt cx|austio:. l |:o|c all u, :outi:cs a:c wc:t to |cc. l
slc¡t io: scvc:al |ou:s. l |ac:`t |cc: so wo:: out si:cc t|c tiuc l |ac got out oi a ¡la:c, t|c o:c
c:gi:c oi w|ic| |ac caug|t ii:c so t|c ¡la:c |ac |ac to il, :ou:c ovc: ·:csu:c io: scvc:al |ou:s to
usc u¡ its iucl.
Iowa:cs cvc:i:g, t|c:c was a |:oc| o: t|c coo:. A gooc i:ic:c a:c :cig||ou: was sta:ci:g
outsicc. ·|c t|:ust a ilowc: at uc a:c saic s|c |ust wa:tcc to co:g:atulatc uc a:c tcll uc |ow
¡lcascc s|c was.
l |ac a slcc¡lcss :ig|t, |c¡t awa|c |, a: cx¡losio: oi ¡:o|ccts a:c ¡la:s. W|c: :cit|c: slcc¡i:g
¡ills, uusic, ·clua, c|ocolatc :o: |iscuits |cl¡cc, l got u¡ a:c wc:t to sit at u, wo:|ta|lc. l
quic|l, w:otc cow: t|c actio: oi a iilu callcc M.·|e. o-1 Ðoo¸|·e. o-1 M.·|e., a:c :otcc t|at l:g:ic
lc:gua: a:c liv ullua:: wc:c to ¡la, t|c ¡a:ts.
·: !0 \a:c|, wc :ctu::cc to ·toc||olu, w|c:c a gooc ccal oi wo:| was waiti:g io: uc. Wit|
a wca:i:css w|ic| was |a:c to |ca:, l cautiousl, sta:tcc to tac|lc iu¡o:ta:t tas|s, ¡:iua:il, all t|c
¡:cliui:a:ics io: ulla lsa|sso:`s a:c Gu::cl li:c|lou`s to.o1.·e t!o.e.
l, !, A¡:il, t|c Iax Aut|o:itics |ac :cloaccc a:c ii:cc oii a |:oacsicc. At o:c o`cloc| i: t|c
aitc::oo:, wc |ac a uccti:g wit| ou: law,c:, koli \ag:cll, a:c slowl,, wit| souc ciiiicult,, l
|cga: to u:cc:sta:c t|c co:tc:t oi t|c ucssagc i:ou t|c Iax Aut|o:it, |c was ¡utti:g ovc:. latc:,
l w:otc a: a:ticlc o: t|c w|olc aiiai: a:c its co:scquc:ccs.
·: l:ica, A¡:il !:c, u, lcgal :c¡:csc:tativc, koli \ag:cll, was i:vitcc` to a uccti:g wit|
lc:gt lallc: a:c la:s ·vc:sso:, two sc:io: tax oiiicials.
I|c ucssagc t|csc two gc:tlcuc: |ac to co:vc, was vc:, cou¡licatcc. Dcs¡itc |is ¡atic:t
attcu¡ts, \ag:cll |as :ot |cc: c:ti:cl, succcssiul i: cx¡lai:i:g all t|c cctails to uc, |ut, o: t|c
ot|c: |a:c, l |ac g:as¡cc t|c uai: t|cuc.
l: o:cc: to gct i: |cio:c t|c :atio:al Iax Aut|o:it,`s alc:t ¡u|licit, cc¡a:tuc:t, w|ic| a¡¡ca:s
to wo:| i:tiuatcl, wit| t|c uccia, u, ¡:csc:t i:tc:tio: is to :cvcal w|at t|csc two tax oiiicials
|ac i: ui:c.
I|c iact t|at, i: t|at wa,, l :o| souco:c oi a icc io: a gooc ti¡ to t|c l:css l will |avc to ta|c
wit| cqua:iuit,. As ia: as l ca: ua|c out, co:sicc:a|lc suus |avc al:cac, |cc: uacc out oi w|at is
callcc t|c lc:gua: ta:glc`. ·:c qucstio: i: ¡assi:g |ow cocs t|c l:css accou:t io: t|ci:
cx¡c:scs i: suc| cascs a:c i: w|at wa, cocs t|c :cci¡ic:t cccla:c |is i:couc·
l will :ow |:icil, attcu¡t to ccsc:i|c t|c ucssagc |:oug|t |, ·vc:sso: a:c lallc:. l |cg t|c
:cacc: to |c ¡atic:t, as t|c ¡oi:t oi it all is :call, quitc i:tc:csti:g.
I|c, cx¡lai:cc t|at t|c :·o·e Iax Aut|o:it, was :ot c:ti:cl, satisiicc wit| t|c iailu:c oi t|c
t..o! Iax Aut|o:it,`s ¡:cvious statcuc:t w|ic| Iax ·u¡c:i:tc:cc:t Da|lst:a:c`s :cw claiu
i:volvcc. Da|lst:a:c ¡:o¡oscc t|at l s|oulc |c taxcc o: two a:c a |ali uillio: |:o:o: i: 1-¯. ;as
u, s|a:c i:ou u, cx·wiss ii:u lc:so:aiilu,. I|c ·tatc Iax Aut|o:it, :ow wis|cc to tax u,
·wccis| cou¡a:,, ·i:cuatog:a¡|, io: t|c ·o¬e i:couc, as t|c, co:sicc:cc t|c ·wiss cou¡a:, a
:ullit,`. I|c iact t|at t|c sauc i:couc woulc t|us |c taxcc twicc ;at ·. ¡lus !+ o: all
togct|c: 10-¸, was :ot t|ci: co:cc::, as t|at was Da|lst:a:c`s iault. ;l |o¡c ,ou a:c still wit|
uc·,
li, o: t|c ot|c: |a:c, Da|lst:a:c a:c l coulc ag:cc o: u, |ci:g taxcc as t|c ·tatc Iax Aut|o:it,
|ac ii:st wis|cc, t|c: t|c, woulc ccsist i:ou taxi:g u, ·wccis| cou¡a:,.
Io ¡ut it siu¡l,, wit| t|:cats a:c |lac|uail, t|c, wis|cc to gct Da|lst:a:c a:c uc to acuit
t|at t|c ·tatc Iax Aut|o:it, |ac |cc: :ig|t i:ou t|c sta:t.
lt is a ¡lcasu:c io: uc to i:io:u lc:gt lallc: a:c la:s ·vc:sso:, t|:oug| t|is :cws¡a¡c:, t|at l
co :ot accc¡t t|ci: uct|ocs a:c l :ciusc to |c i:volvcc i: a:, |i:c oi |o:sct:aci:g.
:atu:all, l :ow |avc to s¡cculatc iu:t|c: o: t|c :caso:s t|at ua, lic |c|i:c t|is asto:is|i:g
actio: |, t|c ·tatc Iax Aut|o:it,.
lc:c a:c a icw cx¡la:atio:s. A :uu|c: oi ¡co¡lc wit|i: t|c ·tatc Iax Aut|o:it, lost iacc w|c:
t|c lu|lic l:osccuto:, :o:cc:aclc:, cccla:cc t|c c|a:gc c:o¡¡cc. Dctcctivc la:lsso: oi t|c Iax
Aut|o:it, a:c |is colla|o:ato:s |ac wo:|cc o: t|is casc io: ua:, uo:t|s, cului:ati:g i: u, |ci:g
ictc|cc i:ou t|c ko,al D:auatic I|cat:c. W|c: it latc: tu::cc out t|at all t|is wo:| |ac uo:c o:
lcss |cc: i: vai:, a: iu¡c:ativc :ccc was iclt to ii:c souct|i:g clsc w|ic|, a:,|ow tcu¡o:a:il,,
woulc cou:tc:act t|c :cgativc ¡u|licit, t|c ·tatc Iax Aut|o:it, |ac att:actcc |ot| i:sicc t|c
cou:t:, a:c a|:oac. l:csuua|l, it was :cc|o:cc t|at i: u, ica: oi |avi:g to go o: :u::i:g t|c
gau:tlct, l woulc su|uit to t|is |lac|uail, at w|ic| u:cc: a:, ci:cuusta:ccs t|c ·tatc Iax
Aut|o:it, woulc |c scc: as t|c victo:.
l co :ot accc¡t suc| gaucs.
At t|c sauc tiuc, l wis| to sa, iuucciatcl, t|at l woulc li|c to ¡:css t|csc two oiiicials to u,
|ca:t. lo: t|c, actuall, ua:agcc to co souct|i:g :cit|c: ¡s,c|iat:, :o: l u,scli |ac |cc: a|lc to
ac|icvc cu:i:g u, two uo:t|s` ill:css.
Io ¡ut it siu¡l,, l was so iu:iousl, a:g:, t|at l :ccovc:cc iuucciatcl,. I|c |o::o: a:c sc:sc
oi i:c:acica|lc |uuiliatio: l |ac |cc: suiic:i:g i:ou ca, a:c :ig|t cva¡o:atcc wit|i: a icw |ou:s
a:c |avc :cvc: |cc: |ca:c oi si:cc. l :caliscc t|at u, o¡¡o:c:ts wc:c :ot iu¡a:tial, o||cctivc a:c
ciscc::i:g aut|o:itics, |ut a collcctio: oi ¡:cstigcscc|i:g ¡o|c: ¡la,c:s.
:atu:all, l |ac ¡:cviousl, sus¡cctcc souct|i:g oi t|c so:t, cs¡cciall, aitc: a closc: vicw oi
Dctcctivc la:lsso: oi t|c Iax Aut|o:it,, w|o was ¡:csc:t at t|c ¡olicc |ca:i:g a:c was litc:all,
t:cu|li:g wit| cxcitcuc:t at |is a¡¡:oac|i:g t:iuu¡|. l |avc to acuit t|at l latc: |csitatcc w|c:
l:osccuto: :o:cc:aclc: |ac t|c uo:al cou:agc to :csist t|c ¡owc:iul io:ccs t|at |ac al:cac,
co:ccu:cc uc. ;l ccciccc to io:gct it all, to :ctu:: to u, activitics a:c |a:c ovc: wit| cou¡lctc
co:iicc:cc t|c actual tax casc to t|c cx¡c:ts. l au i:ciiic:c:t to uo:c, a:c uatc:ial o||ccts,
alwa,s |avc |cc: a:c alwa,s will |c. l cic :ot wo::, a|out losi:g w|at l ¡osscsscc, s|oulc all
cvc:tuall, go agai:st uc. l co :ot cou:t asscts i: uo:c, tc:us. l t|oug|t l |ac |cc: |acl, t:catcc,
|ut iclt l |ac to io:gct it all i: o:cc: to :ctu:: to :calit,. l also t|oug|t t|at at t|c c:c oi t|is
cc¡:cssi:g sto:, t|c:c woulc |c |ot| cccc:c, a:c |usticc.,
lut lallc: a:c ·vc:sso:, wit| t|:cats oi |lac|uail, :ccsta|lis|cc o:cc: a:c co:ii:ucc u, uost
¡a:a:oic t|oug|ts. At t|c sauc tiuc, t|c ¡a:al,zi:g c:cativc c:isis l |ac suiic:cc io: t|c ii:st tiuc i:
u, co:scious liic was solvcc.
I|us, i: co:sultatio: wit| u,scli a:c souc oi u, closcst associatcs, l |ac :ow uacc a :uu|c:
oi cccisio:s a:c was goi:g to w:itc t|cu cow:, ot|c:wisc a w|olc ga:cc: oi s¡cculatio:s, :uuou:s
a:c i:si:uatio:s woulc g:ow a:c woulc |c |a:c to co:t:ol latc:.
\, ii:st cccisio: was t|at, as l ccua:c a cc:tai: sccu:it, i: o:cc: to ac|icvc a:,t|i:g i: u,
¡:oicssio:, a:c as t|is sccu:it, clca:l, woulc |c cc:icc uc i: t|c io:cscca|lc iutu:c, l woulc |c
io:ccc to scc| t|is sccu:it, clscw|c:c a¡a:t i:ou i: t|is cou:t:,. lt was ¡c:icctl, clca: to uc t|at
t|is woulc |c ta|i:g a |ig :is|. I|c ¡:acticc oi u, ¡:oicssio: is ¡c:|a¡s so st:o:gl, ticc to u,
c:vi:o:uc:t a:c u, la:guagc t|at l uig|t :ot su:vivc suc| a c|a:gc i: u, iiit,cig|t| ,ca:.
Dcs¡itc t|is, l woulc |avc to :is| t|c attcu¡t, io: t|is ¡a:al,zi:g sc:sc oi i:sccu:it, |ac to |c
|:oug|t to a: c:c. li l coulc :ot wo:|, u, w|olc liic woulc |c uca:i:glcss.
\, scco:c cccisio: was t|at, i: o:cc: io: :ig|tui:ccc ·wccis| tax¡a,c:s` :ot to t|i:| l was
:u::i:g awa, |ccausc oi t|c tax c|a:gc, l lcit u, i:couc i: a |loc|cc accou:t at t|c cis¡osal oi t|c
·tatc Iax Aut|o:it, s|oulc l losc u, casc. A co::cs¡o:ci:g suu was to |c uacc availa|lc ii
·i:cuatog:a¡| lost its casc. ·|oulc l owc a:, uo:c uo:c,, l aiucc to ¡a, i: iull. l |ac |ac va:ious
oiic:s a:c i:tc:ccc :ot to owc u, :ativc cou:t:, a si:glc cc:t.
\, t|i:c cccisio: was t|at, as l |ac ¡aic ovc: two uillio: |:o:o: i: tax ovc: :ccc:t ,ca:s a:c
|ac givc: cu¡lo,uc:t to va:ious ¡co¡lc, l |ac |cc: a:xiousl, ca:ciul to c:su:c t|at all t:a:sactio:s
s|oulc |c a|solutcl, |o:cst. As l |avc :cvc: u:cc:stooc iigu:cs a:c au ai:aic oi uo:c,, l |ac
:cqucstcc :ccog:izcc s|illcc a:c |o:cst ¡co¡lc to loo| aitc: t|csc a:c ot|c: :clcva:t uattc:s. la:o
|ac |cc: u, sccu:it,. l |ac lai: as ii i: a wou| wit|out a t|oug|t t|at l s|oulc cvc: agai: i: u, liic
|avc to lcavc. l |ac alwa,s |cc: a co:vi:ccc ·ocial Dcuoc:at. l |ac cu|:accc wit| si:cc:c
c:t|usiasu t|is g:c, iccolog, oi cou¡:ouiscs. l t|oug|t u, cou:t:, was t|c |cst i: t|c wo:lc a:c
l still co, ¡ossi|l, |ccausc l |avc scc: so littlc oi ot|c: cou:t:ics.
\, awa|c:i:g cauc as a s|oc|, ¡a:tl, |ccausc oi t|c u:c:cu:a|lc |uuiliatio: a:c ¡a:tl,
|ccausc l :calizcc t|at a:,o:c i: t|is cou:t:, coulc |c assailcc a:c ccg:accc |, a s¡ccial |i:c oi
|u:cauc:ac, t|at g:ows li|c a gallo¡i:g ca:cc: a:c is i: :o wa, cqui¡¡cc io: its ciiiicult a:c
vul:c:a|lc tas|, a:c w|ic| socict, |as givc: ¡owc:s t|c i:civicual cxc:cisc:s oi w|ic| a:c |, :o
uca:s qualiiicc to |a:clc.
W|c: t|c ·tatc Iax Aut|o:it,`s :c¡:csc:tativcs wit| Dctcctivc lc:t la:lsso: i: t|c lcac
u:cx¡cctccl, tu::cc u¡ at t|c ·i:cuatog:a¡| oiiicc a:c ccua:ccc to scc ou: accou:ts, l iou:c
t|ci: wa, oi goi:g a|out t|i:gs a t:iilc o||cctio:a|lc, |ut was tolc t|at :owaca,s t|is was |ow it
was co:c a:c all was i: o:cc:. I|c, i:io:ucc us t|c, wc:c ¡a:ticula:l, i:tc:cstcc i: lc:so:aiilu`s
t:a:sactio:s. Wit|out qucstio:i:g t|cu, wc ¡ut lc:so:aiilu`s |oo|s at t|ci: cis¡osal.
\, law,c: a:c l waitcc wit|out a:xict, to |c suuuo:cc to a ciscussio: wit| t|c aucito:s.
:ot so.
Dctcctivc lc:t la:lsso: a:c |is lacs |ac ot|c: ¡la:s. I|c, wc:c goi:g to ua|c a s|ow oi
st:c:gt| w|ic| woulc iuucciatcl, givc cc|o all ovc: t|c wo:lc a:c |:i:g t|cusclvcs a :uu|c: oi
¡oi:ts i: t|is s¡ccial ¡oi:tsta|lc oi |u:cauc:ac,.
l: a:, casc, it |ac :ot |cc: vc:, wcll t|oug|t out. ·cvc:al uo:t|s |ac go:c |, |ctwcc: t|c
|cgi::i:g oi t|c aucit a:c w|c: t|c, cauc io: uc a:c u, law,c: i: o:cc: t|at wc s|oulc :ot
ccst:o, a:, cvicc:cc`. li wc |ac |ac a:,t|i:g to |icc, wc woulc |avc ccst:o,cc t|c cvicc:cc
cu:i:g t|osc uo:t|s. lvc: a villagc ¡oliccua: woulc |avc |cc: a|lc to t|i:| t|at out. li l |ac |ac a
guilt, co:scic:cc, l coulc |avc tu::cc u,scli i:to a ·wccci:cxilc cu:i:g t|at lo:g ¡c:ioc oi tiuc.
A:c ii:all,, ii l |ac :ot |cc: so ccs¡c:atcl, io:c oi t|is cou:t:, a:c also :ot |cc: so c:iui:all,
|o:cst, l s|oulc toca, |avc |ac a co:sicc:a|lc io:tu:c at u, cis¡osal a|:oac.
:o:c oi t|csc t|oug|ts c:osscc t|c ui:cs oi cit|c: Dctcctivc la:lsso: o: l:osccuto: D:ciialct.
I|c la:lsso: cou¡ was a iact, a:c ¡:cciscl, iou:tcc: ui:utcs aitc: l |ac |cc: |ustlcc out oi t|c
D:auatic I|cat:c, t|c ii:st :cws¡a¡c: tclc¡|o:cc t|c ua: co:cucti:g t|c |ca:i:g, as|i:g io:
cctails oi t|is sc:satio:al actio:.
lut t|c: t|is |ugcl, o:ga:izcc, s|ow oi st:c:gt| iailcc a:c t|c, tu::cc to cxt:ao:ci:a:, t:c:c|
wa:ia:c tactics, wit| i:g:ccic:ts oi t|:cats a:c |lac|uail. l ica:cc t|at t|is st:atcg, woulc co:ti:uc
i:to t|c u:io:cscca|lc iutu:c.
l |ac :cit|c: t|c ui:c :o: t|c :c:vcs to sta:c t|at |i:c oi wa:ia:c. :o: t|c tiuc.
·o l ccciccc to lcavc. l was to lcavc t|c cou:t:, to ¡:c¡a:c io: u, ii:st iilu a|:oac, a:c i: a
io:cig: la:guagc. l coulc ii:c :o :caso: to |c so::,. lo: cvc:,o:c a¡a:t i:ou u,scli a:c t|osc
:ca:cst uc, t|is was |ust a |agatcllc, o: a :ullit,`, as t|c, sa, at t|c ·tatc Iax Aut|o:it,.
l |avc |cc: tolc l oug|t to attac| +¡·.-/!o1e· io: t|c wa, it |a:clcc u, casc, |ut l |avc saic t|at
woulc |c ¡oi:tlcss. A :cws¡a¡c: t|at cxccls at i:si:uatio:s, o¡c: i:sults, |alit:ut|s a:c :a||lc
li|c ¡c:so:al ¡c:sccutio: collccts couuc:ts wit| t|c sauc cclig|t as a: l:cia: collccts scal¡s. l
¡:csuuc t|at cvc:, socict, |as a usc io: scwagc outlcts suc| as +¡·.-/!o1e·. lt |as :cvc: ccascc to
su:¡:isc uc t|at t|at ¡a:ticula: scwagc outlct is t|c ilags|i¡ oi t|c ·ocial Dcuoc:ats a:c t|at
wit|i: its colla¡si:g accuuulatio: oi cclls wo:| scvc:al :cs¡ccta|lc a:c cccc:t ¡co¡lc.
l |avc also |cc: tolc t|at l oug|t to suc l:osccuto: D:ciialct io: cauagcs ¡two lost ¡:ocuctio:s
at io:t,iivc t|ousa:c |:o:o:, a ca:ccllcc iilu wo:t| a|out t|:cc uillio:, ¡s,c|ological cauagc at
o:c |:o:a a:c ta::is|cc |o:ou: at o:c |:o:a, ua|i:g a total suu oi t|:cc uillio:, :i:ct, t|ousa:c
a:c two |:o:o:,.
l also ii:c t|is ¡oi:tlcss. Auatcu:is|:css, a sc:sc oi cut, a:c cluusi:css |ac wo:|cc |a:c i:
|a:c. ·:c |as to u:cc:sta:c t|at. lt is vc:, ·wccis|. lc:|a¡s o:c ca, l will w:itc a ia:cc o: t|c
su||cct. l sa, as ·t:i:c|c:g cic w|c: |c was a:g:,. Watc| out, ,ou |asta:c, wc`ll ucct agai: i:
u, :cxt ¡la,.`
l|o:: :ilsso: oi i·¡.e··e- saw to t|c a:ticlc. l:g:ic a:c l wc:t to sta, wit| |c: sistc: a:c
|:ot|c:i:law i: lcs|oio:s. ·: ou: :ctu:: to ·toc||olu, wc wc:t via Va:ous, :ow silc:t a:c
closcc u¡ i: t|c g:c, latc wi:tc: lig|t, t|c :ivc: |lac| a:c uist l,i:g ovc: t|c |ills. Wc ¡asscc ·to:a
Iu:a, w|c:c l:g:ic`s uot|c: is |u:icc. Wc sto¡¡cc io: a: |ou: o: so i: u¡saia a:c l s|owcc l:g:ic
u, g:a:cuot|c:`s |ousc i: I:acga:csgata:, a:c wc stooc |, t|c kivc: l,:is w|ic| was i: iull
s¡atc. lt was |ot| sc:tiuc:tal a:c a ia:cwcll.
I|c: wc wc:t io: a icw ca,s to la:o, w|ic| was ¡ai:iul |ut :cccssa:,. l tolc la:s·wc
·a:l|c:g a:c lati:|a la:ago. I|c, ¡:ouiscc to |cc¡ ·i:cuatog:a¡| goi:g as |cst t|c, coulc. ·:
Gooc l:ica, l w:otc t|c a:ticlc, t|c: :cw:otc it a:c w:otc it o:cc agai:, wo:cc:i:g w|, t|c |cll l
was goi:g to all t|at t:ou|lc, |ut t|c :agc t|at |ac |c¡t uc goi:g i: :ccc:t wcc|s ¡:ocuccc t|c
:cccssa:, ac:c:ali:.
·: !0 A¡:il, l:g:ic a:c |c: sistc: wc:t to la:is. l s¡c:t t|c cvc:i:g wit| u, i:ic:c a:c cocto:
·tu:c lc¡a:cc:. Wc |avc |:ow: cac| ot|c: si:cc 1-.. w|c: l was |:oug|t c:a¡¡i:g a:c vouiti:g
i:to |is cc¡a:tuc:t at t|c la:oli:s|a los¡ital. l wcig|cc o:l, iiit,six |ilos a:c t|c, sus¡cctcc
ca:cc: oi t|c stouac|. Alt|oug| wc a:c vc:, ciiic:c:t, wc |ccauc i:ic:cs, a i:ic:cs|i¡ t|at still
uca:s a g:cat ccal to us |ot|.
·: Wcc:csca, !1 A¡:il, at 1o..0 |ou:s, l lcit io: la:is. As t|c ¡la:c too| oii, l was scizcc wit|
a wilc cu¡|o:ia a:c :cac sto:ics to a littlc gi:l i: t|c scat :cxt to uc.
W|at |a¡¡c:cc t|c: is u:i:tc:csti:g i: t|is co:tcxt. \, a:ticlc cauc out i: i·¡.e··e- t|c ca,
aitc: l |ac lcit a:c causcc quitc a sti:. I|c uccia |csicgcc u, la:is |otcl a:c a ¡|otog:a¡|c: o: a
uoto:|i|c aluost |illcc |iuscli iollowi:g t|c ca: ta|i:g us to t|c ·wccis| lu|ass,. l |ac ¡:ouiscc
Di:o Dc lau:c:tiis l woulc |cc¡ quict |ccausc wc |ac ¡la::cc a ¡:css co:ic:c:cc i: loll,wooc a
icw ca,s latc:.
lt was a tuuultuous ¡a:t,. l :calizcc wc |ac wo: t|c scco:c :ou:c, |ut at t|c sauc tiuc
wo:cc:cc w|ct|c: t|c ¡:icc |ac :ot |cc: too |ig|.
l:g:ic a:c l |ac t|oug|t oi livi:g i: la:is, w|c:c wc :ctu::cc a|out a wcc| latc:. Wc wc:c to
s¡c:c t|c suuuc: i: los A:gclcs, as t|c ¡:c¡a:atio:s io: 1|e :e.¡e-·· i¸¸ |ac |cc: ccla,cc. lt was
|ot i: la:is. ·u: clcga:t |otcl oiic:cc ai:co:citio:i:g w|ic| t|u:cc:cc a:c squca|cc, t|c colossal
uac|i:c cxuci:g a t|i: st:cau oi colc ai: cow: |, t|c iloo:. l:ca¡a|lc oi uovcuc:t, wc sat :a|cc
i: i:o:t oi t|is littlc cu::c:t oi ai: a:c c:a:| c|au¡ag:c. Iwo |ou|s wc:t oii i: a sicc st:cct a:c
w:cc|cc souc Wcst Gc:ua: oiiiccs.
lt g:cw cvc: |ottc:, so wc ilcc to ·o¡c:|agc:, w|c:c wc |i:cc a ca: a:c tou:cc t|c Da:is|
cou:t:,sicc. ·:c cvc:i:g wc c|a:tc:cc a ¡:ivatc ¡la:c a:c ilcw to Vis|,. Wc got to la:o :at|c:
latc, |ut it was still lig|t. I|c |ugc lilac |ccgc outsicc t|c olc |ousc at Dau|a Watc: was i: iull
|loou. Wc sat o: t|c stc¡s to t|c |ousc u:til caw:, c:vclo¡cc i: t|c |cav, i:ag:a:cc, t|c: ca:l, i:
t|c uo::i:g wc ilcw |ac| to ·o¡c:|agc:.
Di:o Dc lau:c:tiis a:c l |ac ag:ccc t|at t|c iilu was to |c uacc i: Gc:ua:,, a sc:si|lc
cccisio: as it is sct i: lc:li: i: t|c 1-x0.. l wc:t to lc:li: to loo| io: locatio:s, |ut coulc ii:c
:ot|i:g cxcc¡t a ¡a:t oi t|c cit, closc to t|c Wall, callcc l:cuz|c:g, a g|ost tow: w|c:c :ot|i:g
|ac |cc: :c¡ai:cc si:cc t|c wa:. I|c iacaccs wc:c still ¡oc|ua:|cc i:ou g:c:accs a:c s¡:a,i:g
|ullcts. I|c :ui:s oi |ou|cc |uilci:gs |ac |cc: :cuovcc, |ut t|c:c wc:c cu¡t, sitcs li|c o¡c:
i:icctcc so:cs |ctwcc: t|c g:c, |loc|s. I|c sig:s a|ovc t|c s|o¡s wc:c i: a io:cig: la:guagc. :ot a
si:glc :ativc Gc:ua: livcs i: t|is ¡a:t oi w|at |ac o:cc |cc: a ¡:ouc ca¡ital. ·ouco:c o:cc saic
t|at a cwclli:g ca: |c a ca:gc:ous wca¡o: a:c l succc:l, u:cc:stooc t|c ¡oi:t oi t|is :cua:|. I|c
|uilci:gs wc:c ovc:ilowi:g wit| ¡co¡lc, c|ilc:c: ¡la,i:g i: t|c cou:t,a:cs, t|c ga:|agc sti:|i:g i:
t|c |cat. I|c st:ccts wc:c |acl, uai:tai:cc, t|c as¡|alt i:accquatcl, ¡atc|cc.
l au su:c souc aut|o:it, su¡c:viscs t|is ca:cc:ous tuuou: o: t|c wcalt|, |ac| oi Wcst lc:li:.
lt ¡:o|a|l, |as cxactl, w|at is :cqui:cc i: t|c wa, oi social i:stitutio:s a:c saict, a::a:gcuc:ts, so
t|at :o o:c will couc to a:, |a:u a:c t|us cu|a::ass t|c Gc:ua: co:scic:cc a:c t|c sca:ccl,
co:ccalcc :acial |at:cc. l: ¡lai: la:guagc t|c, sa,. a:,|ow t|c |asta:cs a:c |cttc: oii |c:c t|a:
w|c:cvc: t|c, couc i:ou. You:g |u:|ics |a:g a:ou:c la|:|oi Zoo, occasio:all, cis¡c:scc |,
souc o:ga:izcc swoo¡. l |avc :cvc: |cio:c wit:csscc suc| |lata:t ¡|,sical a:c s¡i:itual uisc:,.
I|c Gc:ua:s siu¡l, co:`t scc it, o: t|c, a:c a:g:, a:c sa, t|c:c oug|t to |c cau¡s. :cvc:t|clcss,
t|c t|i:|i:g |c|i:c l:cuz|c:g is as siu¡lc as it is c,:ical. li t|c c:cu, o: t|c ot|c: sicc oi t|c
Wall wa:ts to couc i:, |c uust ii:st s|oot |is wa, t|:oug| a |a::ic: oi :o:Gc:ua: |ocics.
I|c lava:ia ·tucios i: \u:ic| tu::cc out to |c a cccc:t csta|lis|uc:t wit| twclvc stucios a:c
+000 cu¡lo,ccs. l: t|c cit, oi \u:ic|, t|c:c a:c two o¡c:a |ouscs, t|i:t,two t|cat:cs, t|:cc
s,u¡|o:, o:c|cst:as, i::uuc:a|lc uuscuus, |ugc ¡a:|s a:c :cat st:ccts c:owccc wit| sto:cs, a:c
t|c s|o¡ wi:cows cis¡la, a so¡|isticatcc luxu:, w|ic| ca: |a:cl, |c uatc|cc i: a:, ot|c: |ig cit,
i: lu:o¡c. I|c ¡co¡lc wc:c i:ic:cl, a:c |os¡ita|lc a:c wc ccciccc to scttlc i: \u:ic|, cs¡cciall,
as l |ac |cc: i:vitcc to stagc + Ð.eo¬ t!o, at t|c kcsicc:z I|cat:c, lava:ia`s cquivalc:t oi t|c ko,al
D:auatic I|cat:c i: ·toc||olu.
l also :cccivcc a ¡:cstigious awa:c, callcc t|c Goct|c l:izc, to |c ¡:csc:tcc i: l:a:|iu:t i: t|c
autuu:. Aitc: souc sca:c|i:g wc iou:c a lig|t a:c s¡acious a¡a:tuc:t i: a: ugl, |ig|:isc |uilci:g
|o:cc:i:g o: l:glisc|c: Ga:tc:. l:ou t|c tc::acc wc coulc scc t|c Al¡s a:c olc \u:ic| wit| all its
s¡i:cs a:c stcc¡lcs.
As t|c a¡a:tuc:t woulc :ot |c i:cc u:til ·c¡tcu|c:, wc :ctu::cc to los A:gclcs to s¡c:c t|c
suuuc: t|c:c. I|c |cat wavc oi t|c cc:tu:, |ac st:uc| ·aliio::ia. Wc a::ivcc two ca,s |cio:c
uicsuuuc: a:c sat i: t|c tou|li|c ai:co:citio:cc c|ill, watc|i:g |oxi:g o: tclcvisio:. Wc t:icc
wal|i:g to a :ca:|, uovic t|cat:c i: t|c cvc:i:g, a:c t|c |cat |it us li|c a ialli:g co:c:ctc wall.
I|c :cxt uo::i:g, la:|:a ·t:cisa:c tclc¡|o:cc a:c as|cc us w|ct|c: wc woulc li|c to |:i:g
ou: |at|i:g gca: wit| us io: a littlc ¡a:t, |, t|c ¡ool. l t|a:|cc |c:, ¡ut cow: t|c :cccivc:, tu::cc
to l:g:ic a:c saic. lct`s go |ac| |ouc to la:o at o:cc a:c s¡c:c t|c suuuc: t|c:c. Wc`ll |ust
|avc to ¡ut u¡ wit| t|c sco:: a:c t|c laug|tc:.`
A icw |ou:s latc: wc wc:c o: ou: wa,.
Wc a::ivcc i: ·toc||olu o: \icsuuuc: lvc. l:g:ic ¡|o:cc |c: iat|c:, w|o |ac gat|c:cc
togct|c: i:ic:cs a:c :clatio:s o: |is ia:u :ca: :o::tal|c. lc i:sistcc t|at wc couc at o:cc.
lt was ¡ast clcvc: o cloc| a:c a uilc cvc:i:g, cvc:,t|i:g at its uost |cautiiul a:c i:ag:a:t. A:c
t|c: t|c ·wccis| lig|t:
Iowa:cs uo::i:g, l was l,i:g i: a w|itc |cc i: a :oou t|at suclt oi suuuc: |ousc a:c :cwl,
sc:u||cc woocc: iloo:. ·utsicc t|c wi:cow was a tall |i:c|, its s|acow c:awi:g a swa,i:g ¡attc::
o: t|c lig|tcolou:cc |li:c, :ustli:g, w|is¡c:i:g a:c w|is¡c:i:g.
I|c lo:g |ou::c, icll awa,, t|c catast:o¡|c oi u, liic was a c:cau souco:c clsc |ac c:caut.
l:g:ic a:c l quictl, tal|cc ovc: t|is :cw liic oi ou:s w|ic| wc |:cw was goi:g to |c ciiiicult.
l saic. l`ll cit|c: cic o: it`ll |c |cllis| stiuulati:g:`

-
l was alo:c at t|c ¡a:so:agc wit| souc i:solu|lc uat|cuatics |oucwo:| o:c ·u:ca, aitc::oo:.
l was t|i:tcc:. I|c |clls oi l:gcl|:c|t ·|u:c| wc:c tolli:g io: a iu:c:al, u, |:ot|c: was at a
uati:cc at t|c ci:cua, u, sistc: i: |os¡ital wit| a¡¡c:cicitis, u, ¡a:c:ts a:c t|c uaics |ac go:c
to t|c c|a¡cl to cclc|:atc t|c ucuo:, oi Qucc: ·o¡|ia, iou:cc: oi t|c |os¡ital. I|c s¡:i:g
su:lig|t was |lazi:g cow: ovc: u, ccs|, t|c olc :u:scs i:ou ·ol|cuuct wal|i:g i: si:glc iilc
t|:oug| t|c s|acc |clow t|c t:ccs ac:oss t|c :oac. l |ac |cc: io:|iccc: to go to t|c ci:cua |ccausc
l |ac |cc: to c.··e.1o¬¬e.o-¸ t|c :ig|t |cio:c i:stcac oi coi:g u, uat|s |oucwo:|. lo:cc a:c
co:iuscc, l c:cw a :a|cc woua: i: u, cxc:cisc |oo|. l |avc alwa,s |cc: a |o¡clcss c:aug|tsua:.
·|c |ac colossal |:casts a:c cxaggc:atcc gc:itals.
l |:cw littlc a|out wouc: a:c :ot|i:g w|atsocvc: a|out scx. \, |:ot|c: |ac c:o¡¡cc souc
sco::iul |i:ts, u, ¡a:c:ts a:c tcac|c:s |ac saic :ot|i:g. :a|cc wouc: coulc |c scc: at t|c
:atio:al \uscuu o: i: a:t |isto:, |oo|s. l: t|c suuuc:, t|c:c uig|t |c a: occasio:al gliu¡sc oi a
|ottou o: a :a|cc |:cast. I|is lac| oi i:io:uatio: |ac :ot |cc: a ¡:o|lcu. l was s¡a:cc
tcu¡tatio:s, :o: was l to:uc:tcc |, cu:iosit,.
·:c i:sig:iiica:t c¡isocc |ac lcit a ccii:itc iu¡:cssio:. A uicclcagcc wicow callcc Alla
lct:cus was a i:ic:c oi t|c iauil,. ·|c was oi li:la:c·wccis| o:igi: a:c too| a livcl, i:tc:cst i:
c|u:c| aiiai:s. lccausc oi souc tcu¡o:a:, c¡iccuic aiiccti:g t|c ¡a:so:agc, l |ac to s¡c:c a icw
wcc|s wit| Au:t Alla. ·|c livcc i: a |ugc a¡a:tuc:t o: ·t:a:cvagc: wit| a vicw ovc:
·|c¡¡s|oluc: a:c i::uuc:a|lc tiu|c: |oats. I|c :oisc i:ou t|c st:cct cic :ot ¡c:ct:atc u¡ to |c:
quict su::, :oous, w|ic| ovc:ilowcc wit| i:t:igui:g a:c cxciti:g a:t :ouvcau o||ccts.
Alla lct:cus was cc:tai:l, :ot |cautiiul. ·|c wo:c t|ic| glasscs a:c wal|cc i: a ua::is| wa,.
W|c: s|c laug|cc, w|ic| s|c cic a g:cat ccal, saliva a¡¡ca:cc i: t|c co::c:s oi |c: uout|. ·|c
c:csscc clcga:tl, a:c wo:c la:gc |ats w|ic| s|c |ac to ta|c oii at t|c uovics. ·|c |ac a ii:c
cou¡lcxio:, wa:u |:ow: c,cs a:c soit |a:cs. ·|c |ac scvc:al va:iousl, s|a¡cc |i:t|ua:|s o: |c:
:cc| a:c suclt oi souc cxotic ¡c:iuuc. ·|c |ac a ccc¡, aluost ua::is| voicc. l was |a¡¡, to |c
sta,i:g wit| |c:, a:c u, wal| to sc|ool |ac |cc: |alvcc. lc: uaicsc:va:t a:c coo| |ot| s¡o|c
li::is|, |ut s¡oilt uc a:c ¡i:c|cc u, c|cc|s a:c |ottou.
·:c cvc:i:g l was to |avc a |at|. I|c uaic iillcc t|c |at| a:c ¡ou:cc i:to it souct|i:g t|at
suclt gooc. l got i:to t|c |ot watc: a:c cozcc wit| ¡lcasu:c. Alla lct:cus |:oc|cc o: t|c coo: to
as| ii l |ac iallc: aslcc¡. W|c: l cic :ot a:swc:, s|c cauc i:. ·|c was wca:i:g a g:cc: |at|:o|c
w|ic| s|c at o:cc too| oii.
·|c tolc uc s|c was goi:g to sc:u| u, |ac|. l tu::cc ovc: a:c s|c got i:to t|c |at|, soa¡cc uc
a:c sc:u||cc uc wit| a stiii |:us|, t|c: :i:scc uc wit| |c: soit |a:cs. I|c: s|c too| u, |a:c,
c:cw it towa:cs |c: a:c ¡ullcc it |ctwcc: |c: t|ig|s. I|c ¡ulsc i: u, :cc| t|:o||cc as s|c ¡a:tcc
u, ii:gc:s a:c ¡:csscc t|cu iu:t|c: i: towa:cs |c: loi:s. ·|c c:closcc u, ¡c:is i: |c: ot|c: |a:c
a:c it :cactcc asto:is|i:gl, a:c vigo:ousl,. ·|c ca:ciull, ¡ullcc |ac| u, io:cs|i: a:c ¡o|cc awa, a
uass oi w|itc stuii t|at |ac collcctcc :ou:c u, ¡c:is. All t|is was uost ¡lcasu:a|lc a:c :ot i: t|c
lcast i:ig|tc:i:g.
·|c |clc uc ii:ul, |ctwcc: |c: st:o:g soit t|ig|s a:c lct uc |c :oc|cc wit|out :csista:cc o:
ica: i:to a wcig|t, aluost ¡ai:iul c:|o,uc:t.
l was cig|t, ¡c:|a¡s :i:c ,ca:s olc. Au:t Alla a:c l oitc: uct at |ouc at t|c ¡a:so:agc, |ut t|c
uattc: was :cvc: uc:tio:cc, t|oug| souctiucs s|c loo|cc at uc t|:oug| |c: t|ic| glasscs a:c
laug|cc slig|tl,. Wc |ac a uutual scc:ct.
I|is ucuo:,, iivc ,ca:s latc:, |ac aluost iaccc, |ut was i: iutu:c to |c t:a:sio:ucc i:to a
¡ai:iull, c:|o,a|lc, guilt:iccc:, co:sta:tl, :c¡catcc ¡c:io:ua:cc, :oug|l, li|c t|c
ci:cuatog:a¡|`s co:sta:tl, :c¡catcc loo¡, wou:c o: |, souc ccuo: w|o |atcc uc a:c wis|cc
uc to:uc:t a:c cist:css.
·o l c:cw a :a|cc woua: i: u, |luc cxc:cisc |oo|, t|c lig|t wa:ucc uc a:c t|c ·ol|cuuct
:u:scs ua:c|cc o:. l :u||cc u,scli cautiousl, |ctwcc: u, lcgs, u:|utto:cc u, t:ousc:s a:c lct
u, |luis|:cc a:c slig|tl, t:cu|li:g ¡:ic| sta:c u¡, i:cc a:c la:gc. :ow a:c agai: l :u||cc it
ca:ciull,, a: c:|o,a|lc ¡:occss i: a: u:iauilia: a:c slig|tl, i:ig|tc:i:g wa,. l wc:t o: c:awi:g at
t|c sauc tiuc a:c a:ot|c: :a|cc woua: a¡¡ca:cc, :at|c: |olcc: t|a: t|c ii:st. l c:cw a ¡:ic| io:
|c:, cut it out, t|c: cut a |olc i: |ctwcc: t|c woua:`s lcgs a:c ¡us|cc it i:.
l succc:l, iclt as ii u, |oc, was goi:g to cx¡locc a:c t|at souct|i:g l was i:ca¡a|lc oi
co:t:olli:g was o: its wa, out. l :us|cc ovc: to t|c toilct o: t|c ot|c: sicc oi t|c |all a:c loc|cc
u,scli i:. I|c c:|o,uc:t |ac :ow tu::cc i:to ¡|,sical ¡ai:, u, :icc littlc willic, w|ic| l |ac
¡:cviousl, :cga:ccc wit| a|sc:tui:ccc i:tc:cst, |ac succc:l, |cc: t:a:sio:ucc i:to a t|:o||i:g
ccuo: sc:ci:g violc:t sc:satio:s oi ¡ai: u¡ towa:cs u, stouac| a:c cow: u, t|ig|s. l cic:`t
|:ow w|at to co wit| t|is uig|t, c:cu,. l too| a ii:u |olc oi |iu wit| u, |a:c a:c t|c
ccto:atio: occu::cc siuulta:cousl,. Io u, cisua,, a: u:|:ow: iluic s¡u:tcc out ovc: u, |a:cs,
u, t:ousc:s, t|c toilct scat, t|c :ct cu:tai: ovc: t|c wi:cow, t|c walls a:c t|c |luc towclli:g uat
o: t|c iloo:. l: u, |o::o:, l t|oug|t t|at l a:c cvc:,t|i:g a:ou:c uc was |ci:g soilcc |, t|is
u:iauilia: ucss wclli:g out oi u, |oc,. l |:cw :ot|i:g, u:cc:stooc :ot|i:g, |ac :cvc: |ac a:,
wct c:caus a:c u, |a:co: |ac couc succc:l, a:c va:is|cc |ust as quic|l,.
\, scxualit, st:uc| uc li|c a cla¡ oi t|u:cc:, i:cou¡:c|c:si|lc, |ostilc a:c to:uc:ti:g. l still
co:`t |:ow |ow t|is |a¡¡c:cc, w|, t|is ¡:oiou:c |ocil, c|a:gc cauc so wit|out wa::i:g, w|, it
was so ¡ai:iul a:c i:ou t|c ii:st uouc:t so guiltlacc:. li t|c ica: oi scx |ac ¡c:ct:atcc us
c|ilc:c: t|:oug| ou: s|i:, it was i: ou: :u:sc:, li|c a: i:visi|lc ¡oiso:ous gas. :o o:c |ac saic
a:,t|i:g, :o o:c |ac wa::cc us, lcast oi all i:ig|tc:cc us.
I|is ill:css o: o|scssio: aiilictcc uc wit|out ¡it,, t|c actio: co:sta:tl, :c¡cati:g itscli, aluost
cou¡ulso:il,,
lo: lac| oi a:,o:c |cttc:, l as|cc u, |:ot|c: ii |c |ac cvc: |ac a siuila: cx¡c:ic:cc. lc
g:i::cc auia|l, a:c tolc uc t|at as |c was scvc:tcc: |c livcc a sou:c satisiacto:, scx liic wit| a
tcac|c: w|o gavc |iu cxt:a lcsso:s i: Gc:ua:. lc cic :ot wa:t to |ca: a|out u, sic|l, iilt|. li l
wa:tcc a:, uo:c i:io:uatio:, l coulc :cac a|out souct|i:g callcc uastu:|atio: i: t|c iauil,
uccical |oo|. l cic so.
I|c:c it statcc i: ¡lai: la:guagc t|at uastu:|atio: was callcc sclia|usc a:c it was a ,out|iul
vicc t|at |ac to |c :csistcc |, all ¡ossi|lc uca:s, t|at it lcc to ¡allo:, swcati:g, t:cu|li:g, |lac|
:i:gs :ou:c t|c c,cs, co:cc:t:atio: ciiiicultics a:c cquili|:iuu cistu:|a:ccs. l: uo:c sc:ious cascs
t|c ciscasc lcc to soitc:i:g oi t|c |:ai:, attac|s o: t|c s¡i:al co:c, c¡ilc¡s,, u:co:scious:css a:c
a: ca:l, ccat|. Wit| t|csc ¡:os¡ccts io: t|c iutu:c |cio:c u, c,cs, l co:ti:ucc u, activitics wit|
tc::o: a:c c:|o,uc:t. l |ac :o o:c to tal| to, :o: a:,o:c to as|. l |ac co:sta:tl, to |c o: u,
gua:c, co:sta:tl, co:ccali:g u, tc::i|lc scc:ct.
l: ccs¡c:atio: l tu::cc to ¡csus a:c as|cc u, iat|c: ii l coulc attc:c co:ii:uatio: classcs a ,ca:
ca:lic: t|a: ¡la::cc. \, :cqucst was g:a:tcc a:c t|:oug| s¡i:itual cxc:ciscs a:c ¡:a,c:s l t:icc to
o|tai: :clcasc i:ou u, cu:sc. I|c :ig|t |cio:c u, ii:st couuu:io:, l t:icc wit| all u, uig|t to
:csist u, ccuo:. l ioug|t wit| |iu u:til lo:g i:to t|c suall |ou:s, |ut lost t|c |attlc. ¡csus
¡u:is|cc uc wit| a giga:tic i:icctcc ¡iu¡lc :ig|t i: t|c uicclc oi u, ¡allic io:c|cac. W|c: l
:cccivcc t|c uca:s oi g:acc u, stouac| co:t:actcc a:c l aluost t|:cw u¡.
Ioca,, all t|is uust sccu couical, |ut at t|c tiuc it was |ittc: :calit,. I|c civici:g wall
|ctwcc: u, :cal liic a:c u, scc:ct liic g:cw |ig|c: a:c soo: |ccauc i:su:uou:ta|lc. l,i:g
|ccauc uo:c a:c uo:c :cccssa:,. \, ia:tas, wo:lc suiic:cc a s|o:tci:cuit a:c it too| scvc:al
,ca:s a:c ua:, |i:c tactiul |cl¡c:s to :c¡ai: it. \, isolatio: |ccauc |c:uctic a:c l t|oug|t l was
goi:g uac. l iou:c souc co:solatio: i: t|c a:a:c|ical |a:tc:i:g to:c i: ·t:i:c|c:g`s ce··.-¸ Mo...e1
sto:ics. lis wo:cs o: couuu:io: wc:c g:acious, a:c t|c sto:, a|out t|c |a¡¡, vivcu: w|o
su:vivcc |is :cs¡ccta|lc |:ot|c: was :cassu:i:g. lut |ow t|c |cll coulc l gct |olc oi a woua:, a:,
woua:· lvc:,o:c sc:cwcc cxcc¡t uc, l w|o uastu:|atcc, was ¡alc, swcatcc, |ac |lac| :i:gs
:ou:c u, c,cs a:c ciiiicultics i: co:cc:t:ati:g.
l: accitio: to all t|at, l was t|i:, |u:g u, |cac, was i:asci|lc, sta:tcc :ows, s|outcc a:c ,cllcc,
gctti:g |ac ua:|s a:c u, ca:s |oxcc. I|c ci:cua a:c t|c sicc :ow i: t|c u¡¡c: ci:clc oi D:auatc:
wc:c u, o:l, :ciugc.
I|at suuuc: wc cic :ot go to Va:ous as usual, |ut sta,cc i: a ,cllow |ousc i: a t|ic|l,
wooccc |a, o: t|c isla:c oi ·uacala:o, t|c :csult oi a ¡:olo:gcc a:c cu|ittc:cc tugoiwa: |c|i:c
t|c ¡a:so:agc`s i:c:casi:gl, c:ac|i:g iacacc. lat|c: |atcc Va:ous, G:a:cuot|c: a:c t|c
suiiocati:g |cat oi i:la:c. \ot|c: loat|cc t|c sca, t|c a:c|i¡clago a:c t|c wi:c, w|ic| gavc |c:
¡ai:s i: |c: s|oulcc:s. lo: souc u:|:ow: :caso:, s|c |ac :ow givc: u¡ |c: o¡¡ositio:. l|c|o o:
·uacala:o was to |c ou: ic,llic suuuc: ¡lacc io: ua:, ,ca:s a|cac.
lo: uc, t|c a:c|i¡clago was a |cwilcc:i:g :cvclatio:. I|c:c wc:c suuuc: visito:s a:c t|ci:
c|ilc:c: t|c:c, ua:, oi t|cu oi u, agc. I|c, wc:c acvc:tu:ous, |cautiiul a:c c:ucl. l was s¡ott,,
c:csscc w:o:gl,, stauuc:cc, laug|cc loucl, a:c wit|out :caso:, was |o¡clcss at all s¡o:ts, ca:cc
:ot civc a:c li|cc tal|i:g a|out :ictzsc|c, a iai:l, usclcss social talc:t o: t|c sto:, s|o:c w|c:c wc
|at|cc.
I|c gi:ls |ac |:casts, |i¡s, |ottous a:c c|cc:iul uoc|i:g laug|s. l la, wit| t|cu all i: u, |ot
littlc attic :oou, to:tu:i:g a:c ccs¡isi:g t|cu.
Da:ccs wc:c |clc o: ·atu:ca, :ig|ts i: t|c ua:o: ia:u |a::, cvc:,t|i:g t|c:c cxactl, as i:
·t:i:c|c:g`s M.·· jo!.e, t|c :ig|t lig|t, t|c cxcitcuc:t, t|c |cav, scc:ts oi t|c |i:cc|c::ics a:c
lilacs, t|c squcali:g iicclc, t|c :c|cctio: a:c accc¡ta:cc, t|c gaucs a:c t|c c:uclt,. ·wi:g to t|c
s|o:tagc oi ualc ¡a:t:c:s at t|c ·atu:ca, ca:ccs, l was :csto:cc to iavou:, |ut ca:cc :ot touc| t|c
gi:ls as l iuucciatcl, got a |a:co:. l also ca:ccc |acl, a:c was g:acuall, cisca:ccc, cu|ittc:cc
a:c iu:ious, |u:t a:c :iciculous, tc::iiicc a:c wit|c:aw:. lu|c:t,, |ou:gcois st,lc, suuuc: 1-!!.
l :cac ccasclcssl,, oitc: wit|out u:cc:sta:ci:g, |ut l |ac a sc:sitivc ca: io: to:c. Dostocvs|,,
Iolsto,, lalzac, Dcioc, ·wiit, llau|c:t, :ictzsc|c a:c, oi cou:sc, ·t:i:c|c:g.
l :o lo:gc: |ac a:, wo:cs. l sta:tcc stauuc:i:g a:c |iti:g u, :ails. \, loat|i:g oi u,scli a:c
liic itscli was suiiocati:g uc. l wal|cc |u:c|cc u¡, u, |cac t|:ust io:wa:c, t|c causc oi co:sta:t
:c¡:iua:cs. I|c st:a:gc t|i:g was t|at l :cvc: qucstio:cc u, w:ctc|cc liic. l t|oug|t it s|oulc |c
li|c t|at.
A::a li:c|c:g a:c l wc:c co:tcu¡o:a:ics. Wc wc:c i: w|at was callcc t|c :i:t| g:acc, w|ic|
:c¡:csc:tcc t|c last stc¡ |cio:c t|c g,u:asiuu. I|c sc|ool was callcc t|c lalug:c:s|a ·aus|ola
a:c stooc o: t|c co::c: oi ·|c¡¡a:gata: a:c louuc:co:gata:. I|c t|:cc |u:c:cc a:c iiit, ¡u¡ils
wc:c accouuocatcc i: ¡lcasa:t |ut c:au¡cc ¡:cuiscs i: a ¡:ivatc |ousc. I|c tcac|c:s wc:c
co:sicc:cc to :c¡:csc:t a uo:c uocc:: a:c uo:c acva:ccc ccucatio: t|a: t|at ¡:actiscc i: t|c
¡u|lic g:auua: sc|ools. I|is was |a:cl, t:uc, |ccausc t|c ua|o:it, oi t|cu wc:c also cu¡lo,cc at
·stc:ualu G:auua: sc|ool, iivc ui:utcs wal|i:g cista:cc awa, i:ou t|c lalug:c:`s.
I|c, wc:c t|c sauc s|itt, uastc:s a:c t|c sauc s|itt, c:auuc:s i: |ot| ¡laccs. I|c uai:
ciiic:c:cc was ¡:o|a|l, t|at t|c tc:u`s iccs wc:c co:sicc:a|l, |ig|c: at lalug:c:`s, a:c it was also
a uixcc sc|ool. l: ou: class, t|c:c wc:c twc:t,o:c |o,s a:c cig|t gi:ls i:cluci:g A::a.
I|c ¡u¡ils sat i: ¡ai:s at olcias|io:cc ccs|s. I|c tcac|c: occu¡icc a ccs| o: a ¡latio:u i: o:c
co::c:. I|c |lac||oa:c was out i: i:o:t oi us. lt was alwa,s :ai:i:g outsicc t|c t|:cc wi:cows, t|c
lig|t i: t|c class:oou a scuitwilig|t wit| six clcct:ic |ul|s st:uggli:g listlcssl, wit| t|c iaili:g
ca,lig|t. I|c sucll oi wct s|ocs, u:was|cc u:cc:clot|cs, swcat a:c u:i:c |ac io:cvc: ¡c:ucatcc
t|c walls a:c iu::itu:c. lt was a: i:stitutio:, a sto:agc ¡lacc, |ascc o: a: u:|ol, allia:cc |ctwcc:
aut|o:itics a:c iauil,. I|c sti:| oi |o:ccou was` souctiucs ¡c:ct:ati:g, souctiucs suiiocati:g.
I|c class was a ui:iatu:c :cilcctio: oi ¡:cwa: socict,, i:colc:cc, i:ciiic:c:cc, o¡¡o:tu:isu,
suc|i:gu¡, |ull,i:g a:c a icw co:iuscc ilas|cs oi :cvolt, iccalisu a:c cu:iosit,. lut a:a:c|ists
wc:c |c¡t i: ¡lacc |, socict,, sc|ool a:c |ouc. lu:is|uc:ts wc:c cxcu¡la:, a:c oitc: aiicctcc
t|c oiic:cc: io: liic. I|c tcac|i:g uct|ocs la:gcl, co:sistcc oi ¡u:is|uc:ts, :cwa:cs a:c t|c
iu¡la:ti:g oi a guilt, co:scic:cc. \a:, oi t|c tcac|c:s wc:c :atio:al ·ocialists, :aziac|c:c:ts,
souc i:ou ioolis|:css o: |ittc::css ovc: t|ci: iailu:c to gai: acaccuic acva:ccuc:t, ot|c:s i:ou
iccalisu a:c vc:c:atio: oi t|c ªolc Gc:ua:,, a :atio: oi ¡octs a:c t|i:|c:s`.
:atu:all, t|c:c wc:c cxcc¡tio:s, souc tcac|c:s a:c ¡u¡ils wc:c giitcc a:c i::c¡:cssi|lc ¡co¡lc
w|o o¡c:cc coo:s a:c lct i: ai: a:c lig|t. I|c, wc:c :ot ua:,. ·u: |cacuastc: was a iaw:i:g,
¡owc:uac ua: a:c a ¡:oui:c:t st:i:g¡ullc: i: t|c \issio: ·ocict,. lc li|cc ta|i:g uo::i:g
¡:a,c:s, sliu, ¡:cac|i:g co:sisti:g oi sc:tiuc:tal lauc:tatio:s ovc: |ow ¡csus woulc g:icvc ii |c
visitcc t|c lalug:c:`s ·c|ool t|at vc:, ca,, o: ii:ca:c|:iusto:c sc:uo:s o: ¡olitics, t:aiiic a:c
t|c c¡iccuic s¡:cac oi |azz cultu:c.
loucwo:| :ot co:c, |uu|ug, c|cati:g, i:g:atiatio:, su¡¡:csscc :agc a:c sti:|i:g ia:ts io:ucc
t|c c:ca:, cvc:,ca, :outi:c. I|c gi:ls |ucclcc togct|c: i: a giggli:g w|is¡c:i:g co:s¡i:ac,. I|c
|o,s ,cllcc wit| |:ca|i:g voiccs, ioug|t, |ic|cc a |all, ¡:c¡a:cc c:i|s o: cic :cglcctcc |oucwo:|.
l sat :oug|l, i: t|c uicclc oi t|c class, A::a ciago:all, i: i:o:t oi uc |, t|c wi:cow. l t|oug|t
s|c was ugl,. lvc:,o:c t|oug|t so. ·|c was a tall, iat gi:l wit| :ou:c s|oulcc:s, |ac ¡ostu:c, la:gc
|:casts, |ig |i¡s a:c a |ou:ci:g |ottou. lc: |ai: was uous, iai:, ¡a:tcc at t|c sicc a:c cut s|o:t.
lc: c,cs wc:c as|cw, o:c |luc, t|c ot|c: |:ow:. ·|c |ac |ig| c|cc| |o:cs, swollc: ¡:ot:uci:g
li¡s, |c: c|cc|s wc:c c|ilcis|l, :ou:c a:c t|c:c was a ciu¡lc i: |c: wclls|a¡cc c|i:. l:ou |c:
:ig|t c,c|:ow u¡ to |c: |ai:li:c s|c |ac a sca: w|ic| tu::cc :cc w|c: s|c c:icc o: was a:g:,. lc:
|a:cs wc:c squa:c wit| s|o:t iat ii:gc:s, |c: lcgs lo:g a:c s|a¡cl,, |c: icct suall wit| |ig| a:c|cs,
a:c o:c oi |c: littlc tocs was uissi:g. ·|c suclt oi gi:l a:c c|ilc:c:`s soa¡. ·|c wo:c illiitti:g
|:ow: s|i:ts a:c ¡i:| o: ¡alc|luc sil| |louscs. ·|c was clcvc:, quic|wittcc a:c |i:c. \alicious
:uuou: |ac it t|at |c: iat|c: |ac :u: awa, wit| souco:c w|o was :ot quitc a lac,`. lt was also
saic t|at A::a`s uot|c: livcc wit| a :cc|ai:cc t:avclli:g salcsua:, t|at |c ualt:catcc |ot| uot|c:
a:c caug|tc:, a:c t|at s|c cic :ot ¡a, iull iccs.
lot| A::a a:c l wc:c outsicc:s. l was ¡cculia: a:c s|c was ugl,. Wc wc:c :ot t:ou|lcc o:
|ullicc |, ou: sc|ooluatcs.
·:c ·u:ca, wc uct at t|c la:la ci:cua uati:cc. lt tu::cc out t|at wc |ot| oitc: wc:t to t|c
ci:cua a:c li|cc it. l: co:t:ast to uc, A::a |ac ¡lc:t, oi ¡oc|ctuo:c, at |c: cis¡osal, so l lct |c:
¡a, io: uc. G:acuall, l was allowcc to go |ac| |ouc wit| |c:. lc: a¡a:tuc:t was s¡acious |ut
s|a||,, o:c iloo: u¡ i: a |loc| iaci:g :,|:ogata: at t|c co::c: oi Val|allavagc:.
A::a`s :oou was ca:| a:c :ccta:gula:, co:tai:i:g asso:tcc iu::itu:c, a wo:: :ug a:c a tilcc
stovc, ovc: |, t|c wi:cow a w|itc ccs| w|ic| s|c |ac i:|c:itcc i:ou |c: ¡atc::al g:a:cuot|c:.
lc: |cc was oi i soia|cc |i:c a:c t|c covc:lct a:c cus|io:s |ac Iu:|is| ¡attc::s o: t|cu. A::a`s
uot|c: was i:ic:cl, towa:cs uc, |ut wit|out co:cialit,.
·utwa:cl, s|c was li|c |c: caug|tc:, |ut |c: uout| was |ittc:, |c: s|i: ,cllowis|, |c: t|i: |ai:
g:c,, |ac|cou|cc a:c |:us|cc |ac|. I|c:c was :o sig: oi t|c :cc|ai:cc salcsua:.
A::a a:c l |cga: to co ou: |oucwo:| togct|c:. ·|c was i:t:ocuccc at t|c ¡a:so:agc a:c
su:¡:isi:gl, c:oug| was accc¡tcc. l:csuua|l, s|c was co:sicc:cc so ¡lai: t|at s|c woulc |c :o
t|:cat to u, vi:tuc. ·|c was i:culgc:tl, i:tcg:atcc i:to t|c iauil,, |ac ·u:ca, ci::c: oi :oast vcal
a:c cucuu|c: wit| us, was cxaui:cc wit| sco::iull, i:o:ic loo|s |, u, |:ot|c:, :c¡licc quic|l,
a:c o¡c:l, to qucstio:s ¡ut to |c: a:c colla|o:atcc o: scvc:al to,t|cat:c ¡c:io:ua:ccs.
A::a`s ¡luu¡ gooc:css lcc to a lcssc:i:g oi t|c tc:sio: |ctwcc: uc a:c t|c :cst oi t|c iauil,.
W|at t|c, cic :ot |:ow, o: t|c ot|c: |a:c, was t|at A::a`s uot|c: was sclcou |ouc i: t|c
cvc:i:gs a:c t|at ou: |oucwo:| activitics ccvclo¡cc iuucciatcl, i:to co:iuscc |ut o|sti:atc
cxc:ciscs o: t|c violc:tl, c:ca|i:g |cc.
Wc wc:c lo:cl,, sta:vcc, i:quisitivc a:c uttc:l, ig:o:a:t. A::a`s vi:gi:it, oiic:cc :csista:cc
a:c t|c |auuoc| li|c |cc uacc t|c o¡c:atio: uo:c ciiiicult. Wc :cvc: ca:cc ta|c ou: clot|cs oii,
|ut ¡:actiscc iull, c:csscc ui:us A::a`s woollc: |:ic|c:s. Wc wc:c at o:cc ca:clcss a:c cautious,
a:c l usuall, c|aculatcc soucw|c:c |ctwcc: |c: |a:c sus¡c:cc: |clt a:c soit stouac|. A::a was
|:avc a:c clcvc: a:c suggcstcc wc s|oulc lic o: t|c iloo: i: i:o:t oi t|c tilcc stovc, souct|i:g s|c
|ac scc: i: a iilu. Wc sct ii:c to a icw stic|s a:c :cws¡a¡c:s i: t|c stovc a:c to:c oii ou:
:cst:ai:i:g clot|cs. A::a squcalcc a:c laug|cc, l sa:| ccc¡l, i:wa:c i: a scc:ctivc wa,, A::a
s|:ic|cc, it |u:t |ut s|c |clc o: to uc. l cutiiull, t:icc to i:cc u,scli, s|c w:a¡¡cc |c: lcgs :ou:c
u, |ac|, l sa:| cvc: ccc¡c:, A::a c:icc, tca:s a:c s:ot :u::i:g all ovc: |c: iacc. Wc |isscc wit|
li¡s ¡:csscc togct|c:. :ow l`u ¡:cg:a:t,` s|c w|is¡c:cc. l iclt l got ¡:cg:a:t.` ·|c was laug|i:g
a:c c:,i:g. l was scizcc wit| ic, tc::o: a:c t:icc to |:i:g |c: |ac| to |c: sc:scs, s|c uust was|
|c:scli a:c t|c uat at o:cc. Wc |ot| |ac |looc o: us a:c souc |ac got o: t|c uat.
At t|at uouc:t, t|c |all coo: o¡c:cc a:c A::a`s uot|c: a¡¡ca:cc. A::a was sitti:g o: t|c
iloo: t:,i:g to gct |c: |:ic|c:s o: a:c ¡us| |c: |ig |:casts i:sicc |c: vcst. l ¡ullcc at u, |c:sc, to
|icc souc ca:| s¡ots :ou:c u, il,.
\:s li:c|c:g sla¡¡cc u, iacc, too| uc |, t|c ca: a:c c:aggcc uc twicc :ou:c t|c :oou, t|c:
sto¡¡cc, |oxcc u, ca:s agai: a:c saic wit| a uc:aci:g suilc t|at l s|oulc cau:cc wcll sto¡
ua|i:g |c: caug|tc: ¡:cg:a:t. ·t|c:wisc wc coulc co as wc li|cc, as lo:g as s|c cic:`t |avc to
sli¡ i: it. Aitc: sa,i:g t|at, s|c tu::cc |c: |ac| o: uc a:c slauucc t|c coo: |c|i:c |c:.
l cic :ot lovc A::a, as t|c:c was :o lovc w|c:c l livcc a:c |:cat|cc. l |ac cc:tai:l, |cc:
c:cascc i: a wcalt| oi lovc i: u, c|ilc|ooc, |ut l |ac io:gottc: w|at it tastcc li|c. l cic :ot iccl
lovc io: a:,o:c o: a:,t|i:g, lcast oi all io: u,scli. A::a`s iccli:gs wc:c :ot so co::occc. ·|c |ac
souco:c to |ug, to |iss, to ¡la, wit|, a t:ou|lcsouc, Icu¡c:auc:tal, :aug|t, coll, w|o tal|cc
a:c tal|cc, souctiucs auusi:gl,, souctiucs |ust stu¡icl, o: so c|ilcis|l, ,ou uig|t wo:cc:
w|ct|c: |c :call, was iou:tcc:. ·ouctiucs |c woulc:`t wal| |csicc |c: i: t|c st:cct, uai:tai:i:g
s|c was too iat a:c |c too t|i: a:c t|c, loo|cc sill, togct|c:.
·ouctiucs, w|c: t|c ¡:cssu:c i:ou t|c ¡a:so:agc g:cw too ovc:w|clui:g, l |it |c:, a:c s|c
|it uc |ac|. Wc wc:c cquall, st:o:g |ut l was t|c a:g:ic:, so ou: :ig|ts c:ccc wit| |c: c:,i:g a:c
u, cxits. Wc wc:c alwa,s :cco:cilcc. ·|c o:cc got a |lac| c,c, a:ot|c: tiuc a s¡lit li¡, a:c it
auuscc |c: to s|ow oii |c: wou:cs at sc|ool. li a:,o:c as|cc |c: w
,
|o |ac co:c t|is to |c:, s|c
saic |c: lovc: |ac. lvc:,o:c laug|cc, |ccausc :o o:c |clicvcc t|at t|c ¡asto:`s s|i::, stauuc:i:g
so: was ca¡a|lc oi suc| out|u:sts.
·:c ·u:ca, |cio:c uo::i:g sc:vicc, A::a ¡|o:cc a:c s|outcc t|at lallc was uu:cc:i:g |c:
uot|c:. l :us|cc to t|c :cscuc. A::a o¡c:cc t|c |all coo: a:c at t|at uouc:t l :cccivcc a stu::i:g
|low o: t|c uout| a:c icll |ac|wa:cs agai:st t|c s|cli w|c:c t|c galos|cs wc:c |c¡t. I|c :cc
|ai:cc t:avclli:g salcsua:, i: :ot|i:g |ut a :ig|ts|i:t a:c s|o:t soc|s, was tuu|li:g a:ou:c wit|
|ot| uot|c: a:c caug|tc:, s|outi:g t|at |c woulc |ill t|cu. I|c:c woulc at last |c a: c:c to all
t|csc cau:cc |ct:a,als. lc was sic| oi |cc¡i:g a w|o:c a:c a w|o:c`s caug|tc:. lc |ac a |olc o:
t|c olcc: woua:`s t|:oat, a:c |c: iacc was ca:| :cc, |c: uout| wicc o¡c:. A::a a:c l t:icc to
io:cc o¡c: |is |a:cs, |ut i: t|c c:c A::a :us|cc out i:to t|c |itc|c: io: a ca:vi:g|:iic a:c
sc:caucc t|at s|c woulc sta| |iu to ccat|. lc at o:cc lct go, |it uc agai: i: t|c iacc, at w|ic| l
:ctu::cc t|c |low, |ut uisscc. I|c: wit|out a wo:c |c got c:csscc, ¡ut |is |owlc: |at o: at a:
a:glc, t|:ust |is a:u i:to |is ca:| ovc:coat, ilu:g t|c ¡o:c| |c, o: t|c iloo: a:c was go:c.
A::a`s uot|c: uacc coiicc a:c sa:cwic|cs a:c a :cig||ou: :a:g t|c |cll to as| w|at |ac
|a¡¡c:cc. A::a c:aggcc uc i:to |c: :oou a:c cxaui:cc u, i:|u:ics. A slivc: oi a i:o:t toot| |ac
|cc: |:oc|cc out ;as l w:itc t|is l ca: still iccl its a|sc:cc wit| u, to:guc,.
Io uc, all t|is was i:tc:csti:g |ut u::cal. W|at was |a¡¡c:i:g a:ou:c uc was li|c |its oi iilu
looscl, ¡ut togct|c:, ¡a:tl, i:cou¡:c|c:si|lc, souctiucs siu¡l, sac. l iou:c to u, su:¡:isc t|at
u, sc:scs cic i:cccc :cgistc: t|c cxtc::al :calit,, |ut t|c iu¡ulscs :cvc: :cac|cc as ia: as u,
cuotio:s. I|c, i:|a|itcc a closcc :oou a:c wc:c ¡:ocuccc o: couua:c, |ut :cvc: :as|l,. \,
:calit, was so ¡:oiou:cl, civiccc t|at it |ac lost co:scious:css.
l |avc cwclt u¡o: t|is :ow i: t|c s|a||, a¡a:tuc:t i: :,|:ogata: |ccausc l :cucu|c: cvc:,
si:glc uouc:t oi it, cvc:, uouc:t, t|c s|outs a:c :cua:|s, t|c lig|t oi :cilcctio:s i: t|c wi:cows
o: t|c o¡¡ositc sicc oi t|c st:cct, t|c sucll oi i:,i:g a:c squalo:, t|c ua:`s |ai: c:cau i: |is g:cas,
:cc |ai:. l :cucu|c: it all, a:c cac| i:civicual itcu. lut t|c:c a:c :o cuotio:s li:|cc wit| t|csc
iu¡:cssio:s oi u, sc:scs. Was l i:ig|tc:cc, a:g:,, cu|a::asscc, cu:ious o: |ust |,stc:ical· l co:`t
|:ow.
:ow t|at l |avc t|c |c, i: u, |a:c, l |:ow t|at uo:c t|a: io:t, ,ca:s wc:c to go |, |cio:c u,
cuotio:s wc:c :clcascc i:ou t|at closcc :oou w|c:c t|c, |ac |cc: iu¡:iso:cc. l cxistcc o: t|c
ucuo:, oi iccli:gs. l |:cw ¡c:icctl, wcll |ow cuotio:s s|oulc |c :c¡:ocuccc, |ut t|c
s¡o:ta:cous cx¡:cssio: oi t|cu was :cvc: s¡o:ta:cous. I|c:c was alwa,s a uic:oscco:c |ctwcc:
u, i:tuitivc cx¡c:ic:cc a:c its cuotio:al cx¡:cssio:.
Ioca,, w|c: l ia:c, t|at l |avc uo:c o: lcss :ccovc:cc, l wo:cc: w|ct|c: t|c:c a:c, o: cvc:
will |c, i:st:uuc:ts w|ic| ca: ucasu:c a :cu:osis t|at so ciicctivcl, gavc t|c a¡¡ca:a:cc oi
:o:ualit,.
A::a was i:vitcc to u, iiitcc:t| |i:t|ca,, w|ic| wc cclc|:atcc i: t|c ,cllow |ousc o:
·uacala:o. ·|c s|a:cc o:c oi t|c attic :oous wit| u, sistc:. At su::isc, l wo|c |c: a:c wc sli¡¡cc
cow: to t|c |a, a:c :owcc out towa:cs ¡u:gi:uia:cc:, ¡ast kocucc a:c ·tc:co::c:. Wc :owcc
ac:oss t|c |a,, st:aig|t i:to all t|at uotio:lcss:css, t|c gli:ti:g oi t|c su: a:c t|c i:colc:t wavcs
i:ou ·alts|o: sou:clcssl, ua|i:g t|ci: uo::i:g wa, i:ou uto to Dala:o.
Wc got |ac| i: tiuc io: |:ca|iast a:c t|c |i:t|ca, co:g:atulatio:s. ·u: |ac|s a:c s|oulcc:s
wc:c su:|u::t, ou: li¡s a littlc stiii a:c tasti:g oi salt, ou: c,cs |ali|li:ccc i:ou all t|at lig|t.
Wc |ac scc: cac| ot|c:`s :a|cc:css io: t|c ii:st tiuc.

10
l: t|c suuuc: w|c: l was sixtcc:, l was sc:t to Gc:ua:, as a: cxc|a:gc stucc:t. I|is c:tailcc
s¡c:ci:g six wcc|s i: a Gc:ua: iauil, wit| a |o, oi u, ow: agc. W|c: |is suuuc: |olica,
sta:tcc, |c wc:t |ac| wit| uc to ·wccc: a:c sta,cc io: t|c sauc ¡c:ioc oi tiuc.
l was ¡laccc wit| a ¡asto:`s iauil, i: I|u:i:gc:, i: a suall tow: callcc lai:a, |aliwa, |ctwcc:
Wciua: a:c lisc:ac|. I|c tow: was i: a vallc, a:c su::ou:ccc |, ¡:os¡c:ous villagcs. A uucc,
slowuovi:g :ivc: wou:c its wa, |ctwcc: t|c |ouscs a:c t|c tow: |ac a: outsizc c|u:c|, a ua:|ct
squa:c wit| a wa: ucuo:ial a:c a |us statio:.
I|c iauil, was la:gc, six so:s a:c t|:cc caug|tc:s, t|c ¡asto: a:c |is wiic, ¡lus a: olc :clativc,
w|o was a ccaco:css o: 1.e-e-1e :.|«e··e. ¦sc:vi:g sistc:¡. ·|c |ac a uoustac|c, swcatcc ¡:oiuscl,
a:c :ulcc t|c iauil, wit| a :oc oi i:o:. I|c |cac oi t|c |ousc|olc was a slig|t ua: wit| a goatcc
|ca:c, i:ic:cl, |luc c,cs, tuits oi cotto: wool i: |is ca:s a:c a |lac| |c:ct ¡ullcc low cow: ovc:
|is io:c|cac. lc was wiccl, :cac a:c uusical, ¡la,cc scvc:al i:st:uuc:ts a:c sa:g i: a soit tc:o:.
lis wiic was iat, wo:: out a:c su|uissivc, s|c s¡c:t uost oi |c: tiuc i: t|c |itc|c: a:c ¡attcc
uc s|,l, o: t|c c|cc|. lc:|a¡s s|c was t:,i:g to a¡ologizc io: t|c |ousc |ci:g so |uu|lc.
\, i:ic:c, la::cs, sccucc to |avc |cc: cut out oi a :atio:al·ocialist ¡:o¡aga:ca |:oacs|cct,
|lo:c, tall a:c |lucc,cc, wit| a i:cs| suilc, vc:, suall ca:s a:c t|c ii:st g:owt| oi |ca:c. Wc
uacc uutual ciio:ts to u:cc:sta:c cac| ot|c:, |ut it was :ot cas,. \, Gc:ua: was t|c :csult oi
c:auui:g :ot|i:g |ut g:auua:, a couuo: ¡:acticc at t|c tiuc, w|c: t|c co:sicc:atio: t|at a
la:guagc uig|t ¡ossi|l, |c s¡o|c: was :ot ¡a:t oi t|c cu::iculuu.
I|c ca,s wc:c tccious. At scvc: o`cloc| i: t|c uo::i:g, t|c c|ilc:c: oi t|c |ousc wc:t oii to
sc|ool a:c l was lcit alo:c wit| t|c acults. l :cac, :oaucc a|out a:c was |oucsic|. l ¡:cic::cc
|ci:g i: t|c ¡asto:`s stuc, a:c goi:g wit| |iu w|c: |c was out visiti:g i: t|c ¡a:is|. lc c:ovc a
:aus|ac|lc olc ca: wit| a |ig| |ooc, ovc: :oacs cust, i: t|c still |cat a:c wit| a:g:, iat gccsc
ua:c|i:g cvc:,w|c:c.
l as|cc t|c ¡asto: w|ct|c: l s|oulc :aisc u, a:u a:c sa, lcil litlc: li|c all t|c ot|c:s. lc
:c¡licc. t.e/e. i-¸¬o., 1o· «..1 o!· ¬e|. e.-e u.¡!..||e.· /e·.o.|·e·. ¦\, cca: l:gua:, t|at will |c
:cga:ccc as uo:c t|a: uc:c ¡olitc:css.¡ l :aiscc u, a:u a:c saic lcil litlc:`, a:c it iclt occ.
Aitc: a w|ilc, la::cs suggcstcc l s|oulc go wit| |iu to sc|ool a:c listc: i: o: t|c lcsso:s.
Wit| a c|oicc |ctwcc: t|c ccvil a:c t|c ccc¡ |luc sca, l c|osc t|c sc|ool, w|ic| was i: a la:gc:
tow: a icw |ilouct:cs |ic,clc :icc i:ou lai:a. l was :cccivcc wit| c:t|usiastic co:cialit, a:c
allowcc to sit :cxt to la::cs. I|c class:oou was s¡acious, s|a||, a:c :at|c: colc a:c cau¡,
ccs¡itc t|c suuuc: |cat outsicc t|c tall wi:cows. I|c su||cct was kcligious l:owlccgc, |ut
litlc:`s Me.- xo¬¡¡!o, o: t|c ccs|s. I|c tcac|c: :cac souct|i:g out oi a ¡a¡c: callcc Ðe. :·...¬e.. l
:cucu|c: o:l, o:c ¡|:asc t|at sccucc ¡cculia: to uc. Agai: a:c agai:, |c :c¡catcc i: a iactual
to:c oi voicc, ·.- 1e- jo1e- ·e.¸.¡·e· ¦¡oiso:cc |, t|c ¡cws¡. l as|cc latc: w|at it uca:t. la::cs
laug|cc. +./, i-¸¬o., 1o· o!.e· .·· -../· ¡o. +o·!o-1e.. ¦·|, l:gua:, all t|at`s :ot io: io:cig:c:s.¡
·: ·u:ca,s, t|c iauil, wc:t to uo::i:g sc:vicc, a:c t|c ¡asto:`s sc:uo: was su:¡:isi:g io: |is
tcxt was :ot i:ou t|c gos¡cls |ut i:ou Me.- xo¬¡¡. Aitc: c|u:c|, coiicc was sc:vcc i: t|c c|u:c|
|all. I|c:c wc:c a :uu|c: oi ¡co¡lc i: u:iio:u, so l |ac scvc:al o¡¡o:tu:itics to :aisc u, a:u a:c
sa, lcll litlc:`.
All t|c ,ou:g ¡co¡lc i: t|c |ousc wc:c i: o:ga:izatio:s, t|c |o,s i: t|c u.·!e.jo¸e-1, t|c gi:ls
i: io-1 Ðeo··.|e. M11e!. I|c:c was c:illi:g wit| s¡accs i:stcac oi :iilcs i: t|c aitc::oo:s, o: s¡o:ts
at t|c s¡o:ts staciuu, lcctu:cs wit| iilu s|ows i: t|c cvc:i:gs, o: wc sa:g a:c ca:ccc. Wc coulc
|at|c i: t|c :ivc:, |ut wit| souc ciiiicult,, io: t|c :ivc: |cc was uucc, a:c t|c watc: sucll,. I|c
gi:ls` sa:ita:, towcls, c:oc|ctcc out oi t|ic| w|itc cotto:, |u:g out to c:, i: t|c ¡:iuitivc
was|:oou, w|ic| |ac :o |ot watc: o: ot|c: co:vc:ic:ccs.
I|c:c was to |c a ¡a:t, :all, i: Wciua:, a giga:tic ¡:occssio: wit| litlc: to t|c io:c. lvc:,o:c
|ustlcc a:ou:c t|c |ousc, s|i:ts wc:c was|cc a:c i:o:cc, |oots a:c st:a¡s ¡olis|cc, a:c t|c ,ou:g
¡co¡lc sct oii at caw:. l woulc go latc: i: t|c ca: wit| t|c ¡asto: a:c |is wiic. I|c iauil, uacc
quitc a iuss a|out |ci:g givc: tic|cts :ca: t|c ¡latio:u oi |o:ou: a:c souco:c suggcstcc as a |o|c
t|at u, ¡:csc:cc uig|t |c t|c :caso: io: t|ci: gooc scats.
I|at uo::i:g, t|c tclc¡|o:c :a:g. lt was i:ou |ouc, a:c ia: awa, l coulc |ca: Au:t A::a`s
so:o:ous voicc. I|is cx¡c:sivc call was ¡ossi|lc |ccausc oi |c: iuuc:sc wcalt|. ·|c cic :ot cvc:
|ot|c: to |u::,, |ut o:l, g:acuall, cauc to t|c ¡oi:t. ·|c tolc uc a i:ic:c oi |c:s, ua::icc to a
|a:|c: a:c livi:g i: Wciua:, |ac |ca:c i:ou \ot|c: t|at l was sta,i:g :ca:|,, so s|c |ac at o:cc
tclc¡|o:cc |c: i:ic:c a:c suggcstcc l s|oulc visit t|c iauil,. Au:t A::a t|c: s¡o|c to t|c ¡asto: i:
iluc:t Gc:ua:, a:c :ctu::cc to t|c co:vc:satio: wit| uc, ¡lcascc t|at l woulc |c uccti:g |c:
i:ic:c a:c |c: lovcl, c|ilc:c:.
Wc a::ivcc i: Wciua: at a|out uicca,. I|c ¡a:acc a:c litlc:`s s¡ccc| wc:c to |cgi: at t|:cc
o`cloc|. I|c tow: was al:cac, scct|i:g wit| cxcitcuc:t, ¡co¡lc i: t|ci: |cst clot|cs o: u:iio:us
st:olli:g alo:g t|c st:ccts. la:cs wc:c ¡la,i:g cvc:,w|c:c a:c t|c |ouscs wc:c |u:g wit| ga:la:cs
oi ilowc:s a:c |a::c:s. I|c c|u:c| |clls, |ot| gloou, l:otcsta:t a:c c|cc:iul ·at|olic, wc:c
:i:gi:g, a:c a |ig iai: |ac |cc: sct u¡ i: o:c oi t|c olc squa:cs. I|c, wc:c acvc:tisi:g Wag:c:`s
r.e-.. at t|c ·¡c:a lousc as a gala ¡c:io:ua:cc wit| ii:cwo:|s aitc:wa:cs.
I|c ¡asto:`s iauil, a:c l wc:c ¡laccc closc to t|c saluti:g ¡latio:u. W|ilc wc wc:c waiti:g i:
t|c stic|, |cat, wc c:a:| |cc: a:c atc sa:cwic|cs out oi t|c g:cas, ¡ac|cts t|c ¡asto:`s wiic |ac
clutc|cc to |c: swclli:g |osou all t|:oug| t|c |ou::c,.
·: t|c st:o|c oi t|:cc, wc |ca:c souct|i:g :cscu|li:g a: a¡¡:oac|i:g |u::ica:c, t|c sou|:c
i:ig|tc:i:g sou:c s¡:caci:g alo:g t|c st:ccts a:c :csou:ci:g oii t|c walls oi |uilci:gs. la: awa, i:
t|c cxtc:sio: oi t|c squa:c, a ¡:occssio: oi o¡c: |lac| ca:s was c:awli:g alo:g. I|c :oa:i:g sou:c
g:cw loucc: a:c c:ow:cc t|c cla¡s oi t|u:cc:, t|c :ai: ialli:g li|c a t:a:s¡a:c:t cu:tai: a:c t|c
c:as|cs ccto:ati:g a|ovc t|c a:c:a.
:o o:c too| t|c slig|tcst :oticc oi t|c sto:u, all attc:tio:, all c:t|usiasu, all t|is glo:,
cc:t:cc o: o:c si:glc iigu:c. lc stooc quitc still i: t|c |ugc |lac| ca: slowl, swi:gi:g i:to t|c
squa:c. lc tu::cc a:c loo|cc at t|c c|cc:i:g wcc¡i:g o|scsscc c:owcs, t|c :ai: :u::i:g cow: |is
iacc a:c ca:| ¡atc|cs oi uoistu:c a¡¡ca:i:g o: |is u:iio:u. I|c: |c stc¡¡cc slowl, cow: o: to
t|c :cc ca:¡ct a:c wal|cc alo:c towa:cs t|c ¡latio:u, |is c:tou:agc |cc¡i:g at a cista:cc.
·uccc:l, silc:cc icll, t|c :ai: s¡las|i:g agai:st t|c sto:claic st:ccts a:c |alust:accs t|c o:l,
sou:c. I|c lu|:c: s¡o|c. lt was a s|o:t s¡ccc|. l cic :ot u:cc:sta:c uuc|, |ut t|c voicc was
souctiucs loit,, souctiucs |a:tc:i:g, t|c gcstu:cs s,:c|:o:izcc a:c wcll uatc|cc. W|c: t|c
s¡ccc| was ovc:, cvc:,o:c s|outcc |is lc, t|c :ai: sto¡¡cc a:c t|c |ot |:ig|t lig|t |:o|c
t|:oug| t|c |luc|lac| io:uatio:s oi cloucs. A |ugc |a:c ¡la,cc a:c t|c ¡a:acc ¡ou:cc out
t|:oug| t|c sicc st:ccts i: a:c ac:oss t|c squa:c :ou:c t|c ¡latio:u a:c t|c: o: ¡ast t|c t|cat:c
a:c t|c cat|cc:al.
l |ac :cvc: scc: a:,t|i:g li|c t|is c:u¡tio: oi iuuc:sc c:c:g,. l s|outcc li|c cvc:,o:c clsc,
|clc out u, a:u li|c cvc:,o:c clsc, |owlcc li|c cvc:,o:c clsc a:c lovcc it li|c cvc:,o:c clsc.
Du:i:g ou: :ig|tl, co:vc:satio:s, la::cs |ac cx¡lai:cc t|c A|,ssi:ia: wa: to uc, |ow
iu¡o:ta:t it was t|at \ussoli:i was at last ¡a,i:g attc:tio: to t|c :ativcs w|o toilcc i: t|c
ca:|:css, a:c |ow |c was gc:c:ousl, givi:g t|cu t|c |c:ciit oi a:cic:t ltalia: cultu:c. lc |ac also
saic t|at ia: awa, u¡ t|c:c i: ·ca:ci:avia wc cic :ot u:cc:sta:c |ow, aitc: t|c colla¡sc, t|c ¡cws
|ac cx¡loitcc t|c Gc:ua: ¡co¡lc. lc cx¡lai:cc |ow t|c Gc:ua:s |ac c:catcc a |ulwa:| agai:st
couuu:isu, a:c |ow t|c ¡cws |ac co:sistc:tl, sa|otagcc t|is |ulwa:|, a:c |ow wc uust all lovc
t|c ua: w|o |ac s|a¡cc ou: couuo: ccsti:, a:c cccisivcl, wclccc us togct|c: i:to o:c will, o:c
st:c:gt|, o:c ¡co¡lc.
l was givc: a ¡:csc:t |, t|c iauil, o: u, |i:t|ca,, a ¡|otog:a¡| oi litlc:. la::cs |u:g it u¡
a|ovc u, |cc so t|at l woulc alwa,s |avc t|c ua: |cio:c u, c,cs`, so t|at l s|oulc lca:: to lovc
|iu i: t|c sauc wa, as la::cs a:c t|c laic iauil, lovcc |iu.
l lovcc |iu too. lo: ua:, ,ca:s, l was o: litlc:`s sicc, cclig|tcc |, |is succcsscs a:c saccc:cc
|, |is ccicats.
\, |:ot|c: was o:c oi t|c iou:cc:s a:c o:ga:izc:s oi t|c ·wccis| :atio:al·ocialist ¡a:t,, a:c
u, iat|c: votcc scvc:al tiucs io: t|cu. ·u: |isto:, tcac|c: wo:s|i¡¡cc t|c olc Gc:ua:,`, ou:
g,u:astics tcac|c: wc:t to oiiicc:s` uccti:gs i: lava:ia cvc:, suuuc:, souc oi t|c ¡asto:s i: t|c
¡a:is| wc:c c:,¡to:azis a:c t|c iauil,`s closcst i:ic:cs cx¡:csscc st:o:g s,u¡at|ics io: t|c :cw
Gc:ua:,`.
W|c: all t|c cvicc:cc i:ou t|c co:cc:t:atio: cau¡s actuall, |it uc, u, ui:c coulc :ot at ii:st
accc¡t w|at u, c,cs wc:c :cgistc:i:g. li|c so ua:, ot|c:s, l saic t|c ¡ictu:cs wc:c ¡:ca::a:gcc
¡:o¡aga:ca lics. W|c: t|c t:ut| ii:all, co:quc:cc u, :csista:cc, l was ovc:couc wit| ccs¡ai:,
a:c u, sclico: tcu¡t, al:cac, a scvc:c |u:cc:, accclc:atcc |c,o:c t|c |o:cc:s oi c:cu:a:cc. l cic
:ot :calizc u:til lo:g aitc:wa:cs t|at l was guilt, |, associatio: o:l,.
As a: +o··oo·.||.-1 a: cxc|a:gc stucc:t, u:vacci:atcc a:c u:¡:c¡a:cc, l icll |caclo:g i:to a:
atuos¡|c:c glowi:g wit| iccalisu a:c |c:o wo:s|i¡. l was also succc:l, cx¡oscc to a:
agg:cssivc:css w|ic| to a g:cat cxtc:t was i: |a:uo:, wit| u, ow:. I|c su:iacc lust:c |li:ccc
uc, a:c l cic :ot scc t|c ca:|:css.
W|c: l wc:t to Got|c:|u:g \u:ici¡al I|cat:c t|c ,ca: aitc: t|c c:c oi t|c wa:, t|c:c was a
ccc¡ :iit |ctwcc:, o: t|c o:c sicc, t|c Gc:ua: uia :cws:ccl couuc:tato:s, t|c o:ga:izc:s oi t|c
·wccis| :atio:al lilu ·|au|c: a:c t|ci: usual icllowt:avcllc:s a:c, o: t|c ot|c:, t|c ¡cws, t|c
a:ti:azi iollowc:s oi ·cgc:stcct, t|c ccito: oi t|c ¡:oAllics Got|c:|u:g :cws¡a¡c:, a:c t|c
acto:s wit| t|ci: :o:wcgia: a:c Da:is| i:ic:cs. I|c, sat i: a: atuos¡|c:c t|ic| wit| uutual
loat|i:g, uu:c|i:g sa:cwic|cs t|c, |ac |:oug|t wit| t|cu a:c c:i:|i:g t|c ca:tcc:`s cisgusti:g
coiicc.
W|c: t|c |cll :a:g, t|c, wc:t o: stagc a:c |ccauc t|c |cst c:scu|lc t|cat:c i: t|c cou:t:,.
l cic :ot uc:tio: u, a|c::atio:s a:c ccs¡ai:, |ut a st:a:gc cccisio: slowl, uatu:cc. lolitics
:cvc: agai:: ·i cou:sc, l s|oulc |avc uacc a: uttc:l, ciiic:c:t cccisio:.
I|c icstivitics i: Wciua: wc:t o: all cvc:i:g a:c t|:oug| t|c :ig|t. I|c ¡asto: c:ovc uc to t|c
|a:|c:`s |ousc, a |a:csouc a:t :ouvcau ua:sio: oi ua:|lc, su::ou:ccc |, a i:ag:a:t ¡a:|, t|c
st:cct quictl, cisti:guis|cc wit| siuila: |uilci:gs cac| sicc oi it. l wal|cc u¡ t|c |:oac stc¡s a:c
:a:g t|c |cll. A uaic i: |lac| wit| a lacc ca¡ o: |c: cla|o:atc |ai:co o¡c:cc t|c coo: a:c l
stauuc:cc out u, :auc. ·|c laug|cc a:c ¡ullcc uc i:to t|c |all.
Au:t A::a`s i:ic:c was |lo:cc, la:gc a:c u:aiicctccl, |i:c. lc: :auc was A::ic, |c: uot|c:
·wccis| a:c |c: iat|c: Auc:ica:. ·|c s¡o|c |:o|c: ·wccis| a:c was cxt:cucl, clcga:t, |ccausc
s|c a:c |c: |us|a:c wc:c to |c ¡:csc:t at t|at cvc:i:g`s ¡c:io:ua:cc at t|c o¡c:a. l was stcc:cc
i:to t|c |:ca|iast :oou w|c:c t|c, wc:c |avi:g tca a:c a colc ucal. I|c uost |cautiiul ¡co¡lc l
|ac cvc: scc: wc:c sitti:g all :ou:c t|c :catl, laic ta|lc. I|c |a:|c: was a tall ca:| gc:tlcua: wit|
a wcllg:ooucc |ca:c a:c a: auia|l, i:o:ic cx¡:cssio: |c|i:c |is glasscs. I|c ,ou:gc: caug|tc:,
·la:a, |:ow: as ·la:c|c:, was sitti:g |csicc |iu, vc:, li|c |c: iat|c:, tall, ca:| a:c w|itcs|i::cc
wit| aluost |lac| c,cs a:c a ¡alc iull uout|. ·|c |ac a slig|t squi:t w|ic| i: souc i:cx¡lica|lc wa,
i:c:cascc |c: c|a:u.
lc: |:ot|c:s wc:c olcc:, ca:| li|c ·la:c|c:, |ut wit| |luc c,cs. I|c, wc:c |ot| wca:i:g
l:glis| |lazc:s wit| souc |i:c oi u:ivc:sit, |acgcs o: t|c |:cast ¡oc|ct.
l sa:| i:to a c|ai: |csicc Au:t A::ic, w|o was ¡ou:i:g out tca a:c |a:ci:g :ou:c sa:cwic|cs.
I|c:c wc:c ¡ictu:cs cvc:,w|c:c, silvc:, soit :ugs o: g:cat st:ctc|cs oi ¡a:quct iloo:i:g,
o::auc:tal ua:|lc coluu:s, |cav, c:a¡c:ics a:c li:tcls. l: t|c outc: ci:i:g :oou, a :osc wi:cow
glowcc i: t|c lig|t oi t|c sctti:g su:.
W|c: t|c ucal was ovc:, l was ta|c: to u, ii:st iloo: :oou alo:gsicc t|c |o,s` two:ooucc
suitcs. Wc s|a:cc a |at|:oou wit| scvc:al |asi:s a:c a su:|c: |at|. A::ic saic gooc|,c aitc: s|c
|ac s|ow: uc all t|is luxu:,, t|c c|auiicu: was sta:ci:g to attc:tio: i: t|c |all a:c |c: |us|a:c
waiti:g o: t|c stai:s.
·la:c|c: a¡¡ca:cc wca:i:g |ig||cclcc s|ocs ;ua|i:g |c: tallc: t|a: uc, a:c a cull:cc
i:io:ual c:css, |c: |ai: loosc a:c tuu|li:g cow: ovc: |c: s|oulcc:s. ·|c ¡ut |c: ii:gc: to |c: li¡s
i: a ¡la,iul co:s¡i:ato:ial gcstu:c.
·|c too| uc |, t|c |a:c a:c guiccc uc t|:oug| a lo:g co::ico: to a towc: :oou t|at was
clca:l, :ot uscc, as t|c iu::itu:c was covc:cc a:c t|c c:,stal c|a:cclic: i: t|c ccili:g c:vclo¡cc i:
tullc. A icw lig|tcc ca:clcs wc:c :cilcctcc i: la:gc wall ui::o:s. ·la:c|c:`s |:ot|c:s wc:c al:cac,
t|c:c, suo|i:g ilat Iu:|is| ciga:cttcs a:c si¡¡i:g |:a:c,. A ¡o:ta|lc g:auo¡|o:c stooc o: a suall
gilccc ta|lc, wou:c u¡ a:c :cac,. Davic, t|c ,ou:gc: oi t|c |:ot|c:s, stuiicc a cou¡lc oi soc|s
i:to t|c sou:c |ox.
A :cco:c wit| a |luc Iclciu:|c: la|cl o: it la, o: t|c tu::ta|lc. I|c :ccclc was c:o¡¡cc i:to
t|c t:ac| a:c t|c |a:s| |ut su|cucc :otcs oi t|c ovc:tu:c oi 1|e 1|.ee¡e--, o¡e.o :osc out oi t|c
|lac| |ox. Aitc: t|c s¡ca|c:`s sa:castic wo:cs a|out w|, 1|e 1|.ee¡e--, o¡e.o was callcc |ust t|at,
t|c:c iollowcc I|c lallac oi \ac t|c l:iic`. u-1Mo.|eo·| 1e. /o· e¬ Me··e.Ð..| 1o· Me··e. ·.e|·
¬o- -..|·: ¦A:c \ac|cat| |as got a |:iiclut :ot i: suc| a: o|vious ¡lacc.¡ a:c t|c: li:atc ¡c::,`
wit| lottc lc:,a, t|at wou:ccc voicc, t|at sco::iull, a::oga:t to:c, a:c t|c: |c: gc:tlc:css a:c
|a:tc:i:g. u-1 «e-- 1e. x.¡¡ ¡o!!·, ·o¸ ..|· u.¡¡!o!¨ ¦A:c as t|c ii:st |cac :olls l`ll sa,. lo¡¡la:`¡
A w|olc wo:lc oi w|ic| l |ac :cvc: |ac a: i:|li:g, ccs¡ai: wit|out tca:s, ccs¡c:atio: t|at
wc¡t: ¡e.·o.| e· -o., ·.- 1e.-e¬ x.¡¡ !e/· |..|··e-· e.-e too·. ¦¡ust ,ou. t:, o:l, o:c lousc at uost
ca: livc o: ,ou: |cac.¡ l gul¡cc |:a:c,, suo|cc Iu:|is| ciga:cttcs a:c iclt slig|tl, sic|. W|, all
t|is scc:cc, wit| :ig|ttiuc co:cc:ts, closcc coo:s, soit g:auo¡|o:c :ccclcs a:c soc|s i: t|c
sou:c|ox· lt`s |a::cc uusic,` lo:st saic. l:cc|t a:c Wcill a:c |a::cc. Wc iou:c t|c :cco:cs i:
lo:co: a:c suugglcc t|cu ovc: so t|at ·la:c|c: coulc |ca: t|cu too.`
lc ¡ic|cc out t|c :cxt :cco:c, lcwis kut|`s |a:c c:as|i:g i:. Po· ..| ¬..|·e, .·· e· ·.e!· i.-¬o!
.- 1e¬ ·..··e- te/e- e.-e¬ Mo-- ¬..| |.-.o¸e/e-. :·· 1o· e.- .o /.|e· Z.e!· ¦W|at l`c li|c, is t|at a lot·
·:cc i: u, uisc:a|lc liic to ccvotc u,scli to a ua:. ls t|at too |ig| a: aiu·¡ I|c tou|li|c
so:o:ous |ass |:o|c i:. i.- ¸o·e. Me-·.| ·e.-· ¡o, «e. «o.· -../· ¸e¬ ¦lci:g a gooc ¡c:so:· Ycs, w|o
woulc:`t li|c to |c t|at.¡
I|c ac:ic ¡c:iuucc ciga:cttc suo|c iloatcc :ou:c us a:c t|c uoo: s|o:c cow: o: t|c t:ccs i:
t|c ¡a:|. ·la:c|c: was |olci:g |c: |cac |ali tu::cc awa, a:c was sta:i:g i:to t|c |ig ui::o:
|ctwcc: t|c wi:cows, |c: |a:c ovc: o:c c,c. Davic iillcc u, glass. I|c uouc:t |u:st li|c a t|i:
ucu|:a:c a:c l iloatcc u::csisti:g o: to t|c :cxt uouc:t, w|ic| iuucciatcl, |u:st, t|c: o: a:c
o:.
1|e 1|.ee¡e--, o¡e.o ii:alc. u-1 ¬o- ·.e|e· 1.e .¬ t..|·e, 1.e .¬ Ðo-|e!- ·.e|· ¬o- -..|·. l cic:`t
u:cc:sta:c t|c wo:cs, a:,|ow :ot ua:, oi t|cu, |ut l |avc alwa,s, li|c a s|:cwc a:iual,
u:cc:stooc to:c oi voicc, a:c l u:cc:stooc t|is to:c oi voicc. lt sa:| i:to u, ccc¡cst
co:scious:css, to :cuai: t|c:c as ¡a:t oi uc.
Iwc:t, ,ca:s latc: l at last |ac t|c o¡¡o:tu:it, to stagc 1|e 1|.ee¡e--, o¡e.o i: ·wccc:. W|at a
c:caciul cou¡:ouisc, w|at a ¡a:oc, oi g:cat au|itio:s, w|at cowa:cicc, w|at |ct:a,al oi
uo:uuc:tal i:sig|t: All :csou:ccs, |ot| a:tistic a:c uatc:ial, |ac |cc: ¡ut at u, cis¡osal a:c l
iailcc |ccausc l was ioolis| a:c vai:, a: u:|cata|lc cou|i:atio: w|c: ,ou a:c ci:ccti:g. l cic :ot
t|i:| a|out ·la:c|c:`s |aliilluui:atcc iacc a:c t|c |a:s| uoo:lig|t, t|c Iu:|is| ciga:cttcs a:c
Davic lca:i:g ovc: t|c |lac| ¡o:ta|lc g:auo¡|o:c. Wc |ac |ac t|c o¡¡o:tu:it, to listc: to t|osc
sc:atc|, Iclciu:|c: :cco:cs, |ut wc |ac co:c so a|sc:tui:cccl,, a:c ag:ccc t|at t|c uusic woulc
|avc to |c :co:c|cst:atcc. l:ovi:cial iciots a:c villagc gc:iuscs. I|at`s w|at it was li|c t|c:.
W|at`s it li|c :ow·
I|c co:cc:t wc:t o: wit| louis A:ust:o:g, lats Wallc: a:c Du|c llli:gto:. l icll aslcc¡ wit|
cxcitcuc:t a:c |:a:c,, |ut wo|c a s|o:t tiuc latc: to ii:c u,scli l,i:g i: u, |ig |cc, ¡alc caw:
outsicc t|c wi:cow a:c ·la:c|c: sitti:g at t|c c:c oi t|c |cc w:a¡¡cc i: a ¡lcatcc c:cssi:g gow:,
|c: |ai: i: cu:lc:s. ·|c was loo|i:g stcacil, a:c cu:iousl, at uc. W|c: s|c saw t|at l was awa|c,
s|c :occcc wit| a suilc a:c cisa¡¡ca:cc wit|out a sou:c.
·ix uo:t|s latc:, l :cccivcc a lcttc: wit| ·la:c|c:`s |olc gc:c:ous |a:cw:iti:g o: t|c
c:vclo¡c, i:a:|cc i: ·witzc:la:c. ·|c :cui:ccc uc i: a |ocula: wa, t|at wc |ac ¡:ouiscc to
w:itc to cac| ot|c: |ut t|at l |ac cvicc:tl, io:gottc: ou: ag:ccuc:t. ·|c tolc uc s|c was |ac| at
|c: |oa:ci:g sc|ool a:c t|at |c: ¡a:c:ts |ac go:c to i:ic:cs i: ·a:aca, a:c t|at s|c |c:scli was to
sta:t at a:t sc|ool i: la:is w|c: s|c lcit sc|ool. I|c |:ot|c:s |ac |cc: a|lc to :ctu:: to t|ci:
u:ivc:sit, t|a:|s to t|c i:tc:vc:tio: oi t|c l:itis| Au|assaco:. ·|c cic :ot t|i:| t|c iauil, woulc
cvc: :ctu:: to Wciua:.
I|at was o:c ¡agc oi t|c lcttc:. I|c ot|c: was as iollows.
\, :auc is:`t :call, ·la:a, |ut I|ca. I|at`s :ot i: u, ¡ass¡o:t. \, :cligious u¡|:i:gi:g, as
l`vc tolc ,ou, |as |cc: st:ictl, o:t|ocox a:c l`u su:c l co::cs¡o:c to w|at u, uot|c: a:c iat|c:
t|i:| a gooc caug|tc: oug|t to |c.
l |avc suiic:cc a g:cat ua:, |ocil, ills, t|c wo:st a: i::itatio: w|ic| |as ¡c:sccutcc uc li|c a
wa|i:g :ig|tua:c io: two ,ca:s. A:ot|c: to:uc:t is u, ovc:ccvclo¡cc sc:sitivit,. l :cact
violc:tl, to succc: :oiscs, i:tc:sc lig|t ;l`u |li:c i: o:c c,c, o: u:¡lcasa:t suclls. I|c :o:ual
¡:cssu:c oi a c:css, io: i:sta:cc, ca: c:ivc uc uac wit| ¡ai:. W|c: l was iiitcc:, l ua::icc a
,ou:g Aust:ia: acto:. l wa:tcc to sta:t i: t|c t|cat:c, |ut t|c ua::iagc was u:|a¡¡,, l |ac a c|ilc
w|o cicc, a:c l wc:t |ac| to t|c sc|ool i: ·witzc:la:c. :ow t|c c:, twilig|t :attlcs a|ovc t|c
c|ilc`s |cac. l ca:`t go o:. l c:, :ow.
\, glass c,c also wcc¡s.
l ¡:ctc:c l au a sai:t o: a ua:t,:. l ca: sit io: |ou:s at t|c |ig ta|lc i: t|c closcc :oou ;w|c:c
wc ¡la,cc t|c io:|iccc: :cco:cs¸. l ca: sit io: |ou:s gazi:g at t|c ¡alus oi u, |a:cs. ·:cc a
:cc:css a¡¡ca:cc out oi u, lcit ¡alu, |ut :o |looc. l ¡:ctc:c l au sac:iiici:g u,scli io: u,
|:ot|c:s. l au savi:g t|cu i:ou uo:tal ca:gc:. l ¡:ctc:c ccstas, a:c s¡ca| to t|c lol, Vi:gi:. l
¡:ctc:c iait| a:c cis|clici, cciia:cc a:c cou|t. l ¡:ctc:c l au a :c|cctcc si::c: wit| a:
i:su¡¡o:ta|lc |u:cc: oi guilt. ·uccc:l, l :c|cct t|c guilt a:c io:givc u,scli. lt`s all a gauc. l au
¡:ctc:ci:g.
Wit|i: t|c gauc, l au t|c sauc, souctiucs cxt:cucl, t:agic, souctiucs |ou:clcssl,
cx|ila:atcc. All wit| t|c sauc suall ciio:t. l co:iiccc i: a cocto: ;l`vc |cc: to so ua:, cocto:s,.
lc tolc uc t|at u, c:caui:g a:c iclc liic was cauagi:g u, ¡s,c|c. lc ¡:csc:i|cc s¡cciiic t|i:gs
t|at woulc io:cc uc to lcavc t|c ¡:iso: oi u, cgocc:t:icit,. ·:cc:. ·clicisci¡li:c. Ias|s.
·o:scts. \, iat|c:, w|o is so gc:tlc, so wisc a:c cooll, calculati:g, sa,s t|at l s|oulc :ot wo::,,
t|at cvc:,t|i:g cxists i: all t|i:gs, a:c livi:g is a to:uc:t t|at o:c ovc:coucs wit| :csig:atio:, |ut
¡:cic:a|l, wit|out c,:icisu. l au :ot |cc: o: t|at |i:c oi ciio:t, so l`u t|i:|i:g oi goi:g cvc:
iu:t|c: i:to u, gaucs, ta|i:g t|cu uo:c sc:iousl,, ii ,ou u:cc:sta:c w|at l uca:.
llcasc w:itc |ac| iuucciatcl, a:c tcll uc all, i: w|atcvc: la:guagc ,ou li|c cxcc¡t ·wccis|,
w|ic| ¡c:|a¡s l s|all |avc to lca:: o:c ca,. W:itc a:c tcll uc a|out ,ou:scli, ,ou, u, ,ou:gcst
|:ot|c:, l ,ca:: io: ,ou:
I|c: iollowcc souc i:st:uctio:s a|out |c: iutu:c acc:csscs a:c a: aiicctio:atc |ut io:ual
c:ci:g, sig:cc ·la:a. Me.- !.e/e. i-¸¬o. ..| o¬o.¬e Ð../ ¡e··, |.·· Ðo -..| ·. ·.|.e.|!..| 1..--· c!o.o.
¦\, cca: l:gua:, l |ug ,ou tig|t. A:c ,ou still so tc::i|l, t|i:·¡
l :cvc: a:swc:cc |c: lcttc:. la:guagc ciiiicultics wc:c i:su¡c:a|lc a:c l cic :ot wa:t to ua|c a
iool oi u,scli. ·: t|c ot|c: |a:c, l |avc |c¡t |c: lcttc:. l uscc it aluost wo:c io: wo:c i: a iilu
callcc 1|e r.·e i: 1-o-.
Aitc: a icw uo:c ca,s i: Wciua: a:c a tc::i|lc wcc| i: lai:a, l |ccauc i:volvcc i: a :cligious
cis¡utc wit| t|c olc ccaco:css. ·|c |ac iou:c out t|at l :cac ·t:i:c|c:g. ·|c uai:tai:cc |c was a
:a|ic :acical, a woua: |atc: a:c a uoc|c: oi Goc. ·|c scolccc uc, o||cctcc to u, :caci:g |a|its
a:c qucstio:cc w|ct|c: t|ci: la::cs s|oulc |c allowcc to sta, wit| a iauil, w|ic| ¡c:uittcc suc|
litc:atu:c. l :c¡licc i: |ac Gc:ua: t|at i: u, |ouc cou:t:, wc |ac |it|c:to |ac i:cccou oi
:cligious |clici a:c i:cccou oi cx¡:cssio: ;ccuoc:ac, was :ow succc:l, iitti:g,. I|c sto:u
a|atcc. la::cs a:c l sct oii io: |ouc.
Wc wc:c all to asscu|lc i: lc:li:, i:ou w|c:c a s¡ccial t:ai: was to ta|c us to ·toc||olu. Wc
sta,cc i: a giga:tic ,out| |ostcl o: t|c outs|i:ts oi t|c cit,. l:oviccc wit| Au:t A::ic`s cisc:cct
:ci:io:ccuc:t oi u, t:avcl iu:cs, l csca¡cc i:ou a ¡la::cc tou: oi uo:uuc:ts a:c ot|c: sig|ts.
l too| a |us outsicc t|c ,out| |ostcl a:c sta,cc o: it u:til it :cac|cc t|c tc:ui:us. lt was a |ot
¡ul, aitc::oo:, a|out six o`cloc|, a:c l was |cwilcc:cc a:c lost i: t|c :oa:i:g :uu|lc a:c
uovcuc:t w|ic| |loc|cc all u, sc:scs. l c|osc a sicc st:cct at :a:cou, c:cou:tc:cc a: cvc:
|cavic: st:cau oi t:aiiic, iollowcc it a:c cauc to a |ugc |:icgc callcc lu:iu:stc:|:iic|c, w|c:c
t|c:c was a ¡alacc o: t|c ot|c: sicc oi t|c watc:. l stooc io: scvc:al |ou:s |, t|c |alust:acc,
watc|i:g cus| ialli:g a:c t|c s|acows ca:|c: ovc: t|c :us|i:g, sti:|i:g :ivc:. I|c :oa: i:c:cascc.
l ¡asscc ,ct a:ot|c: |:icgc ovc: a :a::owc: :ivc: wit| su:|c: woocc: qua,s a:c ¡ilcs t|at wc:c
|ci:g |auuc:cc wit| a |cllis| :oisc i:to t|c watc: |, a ¡ilcc:ivc:. A |a:gc was a:c|o:cc ia:t|c:
awa, a:c two uc: wc:c sitti:g i: |as|ct c|ai:s o: it, iis|i:g a:c c:i:|i:g |cc:. l was c:aw: cvc:
iu:t|c: i:to t|c sluggis| uotio: oi t|c cit,. :ot|i:g |a¡¡c:cc. l was :ot cvc: accostcc |, a
¡:ostitutc, alt|oug| t|c, |ac |cgu: to ta|c u¡ t|ci: ¡ositio:s io: t|c cvc:i:g. l was |u:g:, a:c
t|i:st,, |ut ca:cc :ot go i:to a:, cati:g ¡lacc.
:ig|t icll. ·till :ot|i:g |a¡¡c:cc. lx|austcc a:c cisa¡¡oi:tcc, l too| a taxi |ac| to t|c |ostcl,
t|c ia:c swallowi:g t|c last oi u, uo:c,. I|c, wc:c |ust a|out to tclc¡|o:c t|c ¡olicc w|c: l
a¡¡ca:cc,
I|c :cxt uo::i:g wc wc:c ta|c: to ·toc||olu o: a: c:clcssl, lo:g s¡ccial t:ai: oi olc
ca::iagcs wit| woocc: scats a:c o¡c: ¡latio:us. lt ¡ou:cc wit| :ai:. l stooc i: t|c :ai: a:c t|c
:oisc, s|outcc a:c ¡la,cc t|c iool to ua|c souco:c ta|c :oticc oi uc, ¡:cic:a|l, a gi:l. l wc:t o:
li|c t|at io: scvc:al |ou:s. ·: t|c ic::,, l co:sicc:cc |uu¡i:g i:to t|c sca, |ut was ai:aic oi |ci:g
caug|t u¡ i: t|c ¡:o¡cllc:s. Iowa:cs :ig|tiall, l ¡:ctc:ccc to |c c:u:|, icll cow: a:c t:icc to
s¡cw. l: t|c c:c a ¡luu¡ i:cc|lcc gi:l i:tc:vc:cc, ¡ullcc u, |ai:, gavc uc a gooc s|a|i:g a:c saic
stc::l, t|at l s|oulc sto¡ ua|i:g a: ass oi u,scli. l sto¡¡cc at o:cc, sat cow: i: a co::c:, atc a:
o:a:gc a:c icll aslcc¡. W|c: l wo|c, wc wc:c i: ·occ:tal|c.
l: u, c:caus, l |avc oitc: |cc: i: lc:li:. :ot t|c :cal lc:li:, |ut a stagc sctti:g, a |ou:clcss
u:wiclc, cit, oi suo|c|lac|c:cc uo:uuc:tal |uilci:gs, c|u:c| towc:s a:c statucs. l :oau
t|:oug| t|c u:ccasi:g ilow oi t:aiiic, cvc:,t|i:g u:iauilia: a:c ,ct iauilia:. l iccl tc::o: a:c
cclig|t a:c |:ow ¡:ctt, wcll w|c:c l au goi:g. l au loo|i:g io: t|c a:ca |c,o:c t|c |:icgcs, t|c
¡a:t oi t|c cit, w|c:c souct|i:g is goi:g to |a¡¡c:. l au wal|i:g u¡ a stcc¡ |ill, a uc:aci:g
ac:o¡la:c ¡asscs |ctwcc: t|c |ouscs t|c: at last l couc to t|c :ivc:. I|c, a:c wi:c|i:g u¡ a ccac
|o:sc as la:gc as a w|alc out oi w|ic| watc: is ¡ou:i:g o: to t|c ¡avcuc:t.
·u:iosit, a:c tc::o: c:ivc uc o:. l uust gct t|c:c i: tiuc io: t|c ¡u|lic cxccutio:s. I|c: l
ucct u, ccac wiic. Wc cu|:acc cac| ot|c: tc:cc:l, a:c loo| io: a |otcl :oou w|c:c wc ca:
ua|c lovc. ·|c wal|s wit| quic| lig|t stc¡s |csicc uc a:c l |olc u, |a:c o: |c: |i¡. I|c st:cct is
|:ig|tl, lit u¡ alt|oug| t|c su: is |lazi:g, t|c s|, |lac| a:c uovi:g |a::i:gl,. :ow l |:ow l |avc at
last :cac|cc t|c io:|iccc: a:ca. I|c I|cat:c is t|c:c wit| t|at u:iat|oua|lc ¡:ocuctio:.
I|:cc tiucs l |avc t:icc to c:catc t|c ·it, oi u, c:cau. li:st l w:otc a :acio ¡la, callcc 1|e
c.·,., a|out a la:gc tow: i: ccca,, its |uilci:gs colla¡si:g a:c st:ccts u:cc:ui:cc, A icw ,ca:s
latc:, l uacc 1|e :.!e-.e, i: w|ic| two sistc:s a:c a littlc |o, a:c st:a:ccc i: a uig|t, wa::i:g cit,
wit| a: i:cou¡:c|c:si|lc la:guagc. lastl,, t|c uost :ccc:t, l uacc ,ct a:ot|c: attcu¡t i: 1|e
:e.¡e-·· i¸¸. lts a:tistic iailu:c was uai:l, cuc to t|c iact t|at l callcc t|c cit, lc:li: a:c ccciccc to
sct it i: 1-10. I|at was |ot| t|oug|tlcss a:c ioolis|. li l |ac c:catcc t|c ·it, oi u, c:cau, t|c
·it, t|at is :ot, :cvc: was a:c ,ct ua:iicsts itscli wit| acutc:css, suclls a:c louc sou:cs, ii l |ac
c:catcc ·|o· ·it,, l woulc :ot o:l, |avc |cc: uovi:g i: cou¡lctc i:cccou a:c wit| a: a|solutc
sc:sc oi |clo:gi:g |ut also, uost iu¡o:ta:tl,, l woulc |avc ta|c: t|c aucic:cc i:to a: alic: |ut
scc:ctl, iauilia: wo:lc. u:io:tu:atcl, l allowcc u,scli to |c lcc ast:a, |, u, cxcu:sio: i:to
lc:li: i: t|c uic1-!0s, t|at cvc:i:g w|c: a|solutcl, :ot|i:g |a¡¡c:cc. l: 1|e :e.¡e-·· i¸¸, l
c:catcc a lc:li: w|ic| :o o:c :ccog:izcc, :ot cvc: l.

11
Aitc: a t:,i:g |attlc ovc: t|c a¡¡oi:tuc:t, lat|c: |ac |cc: ¡ut i: c|a:gc oi t|c lccvig
llco:o:a ¡a:is| i: ·toc||olu, w|c:c |c |ac sc:vcc as cu:atc i: 1-1·. I|c iauil, uovcc i:to t|c
c|u:c| a¡a:tuc:t t|:cc iloo:s u¡ i: ·to:gata: ¯, o¡¡ositc t|c c|u:c|. l was allocatcc a la:gc :oou
o: ¡u:gi:ugata: iaci:g ·stc:ualu ·clla:`s :ow oi cig|tcc:t| cc:tu:, c|iu:c,s a:c a vicw |c,o:c
ovc: ·stc:ualu ·qua:c. \, wal| to sc|ool was to |c s|o:tc:, l |ac a: c:t:a:cc oi u, ow: a:c
uo:c i:cccou oi uovcuc:t.
lat|c: was a ¡o¡ula: ¡:cac|c: a:c alwa,s |ac a iull |ousc. lc was a co:scic:tious gooc
s|c¡|c:c a:c |ac a: i:valua|lc talc:t. a: u:iaili:g ucuo:, io: ¡co¡lc. ·vc: t|c ,ca:s, |c |ac
|a¡tizcc, co:ii:ucc, ua::icc a:c |u:icc a g:cat ua:, oi |is +0,000 ¡a:is|io:c:s. lc |:cw t|cu
all |, sig|t, also t|ci: :aucs a:c ci:cuusta:ccs, so cac| ¡c:so: c:vclo¡cc |, |is i:tc:cst a:c
auia|lc g:avit, iclt :cucu|c:cc a:c t|c:cio:c c|osc:. Goi:g io: a wal| wit| lat|c: was a
cou¡licatcc ¡:occcu:c. lc |c¡t sto¡¡i:g, g:ccti:g ¡co¡lc a:c tal|i:g to t|cu, :aui:g t|cu |,
:auc a:c a|so:|i:g i:io:uatio: a|out c|ilc:c:, g:a:cc|ilc:c: a:c :clativcs. lo:g i:to olc agc, |c
succcssiull, :u:tu:cc t|is talc:t.
lc was u:cou|tccl, a uuc|li|cc ¡a:is| ¡:icst a:c, as a: acui:ist:ato: a:c ua:agc:, |c was
cccisivc |ut also co:ciliato:, a:c ci¡louatic. lc |ac :ot |ac t|c o¡¡o:tu:it, oi c|oosi:g t|c
¡co¡lc |c wo:|cc wit|. ·ouc oi t|cu |ac cou¡ctcc wit| |iu io: t|c ¡ost oi ¡a:is| ¡:icst, w|ilc
ot|c:s wc:c laz,, |,¡oc:itical a:c o|scquious. lat|c: ua:agcc to |cc¡ |is activitics iai:l, i:cc oi
o¡c: squa||lcs a:c clc:ical i:t:igucs.
I|c ¡asto:`s |ouc was |, t:acitio: o¡c: to all a:c \ot|c: :a: a co:sicc:a|lc o:ga:izatio:. ·|c
i:volvcc |c:scli i: ¡a:is| wo:| a:c was a c:ivi:g io:cc i: wclia:c socictics. ·|c was alwa,s at
lat|c:`s sicc o: oiiicial occasio:s a:c lo,all, sat i: t|c i:o:t ¡cw :cga:clcss oi w|o was ¡:cac|i:g.
·|c also too| ¡a:t i: co:ic:c:ccs a:c a::a:gi:g ci::c: ¡a:tics. \, |:ot|c: was twc:t, a:c awa, at
u:ivc:sit, i: u¡sala, u, sistc: twclvc a:c l sixtcc:. ·u: :clativc i:cccou was c:ti:cl, cuc to ou:
¡a:c:ts` cxccssivc |u:cc: oi wo:|, |ut it was ¡oiso:cc i:cccou, t|c tc:sio:s g:cat a:c t|c |:ots
iu¡ossi|lc to u::avcl. W|at was outwa:cl, a: i::c¡:oac|a|lc ¡ictu:c oi gooc iauil, u:it, was
i:wa:cl, uisc:, a:c cx|austi:g co:ilicts. lat|c: u:cou|tccl, ¡osscsscc co:sicc:a|lc acti:g a|ilit,,
|ut oii stagc |c was :c:vous, i::ita|lc a:c cc¡:cssivc. lc wo::icc a|out |ci:g i:accquatc, |c
ago:izcc ovc: |is ¡u|lic a¡¡ca:a:ccs, |c¡t w:iti:g a:c :cw:iti:g |is sc:uo:s a:c was vc:, u:cas,
a|out ua:, oi |is acui:ist:ativc cutics. lc was alwa,s i:ctti:g a:c givc: to violc:t out|u:sts oi
tcu¡c:, ¡ic|i:g |cavil, o: ui:o: uattc:s. Wc wc:c :ot allowcc to w|istlc, o: go a:ou:c wit| ou:
|a:cs i: ou: ¡oc|cts. lc woulc succc:l, cccicc to tcst ou: |oucwo:| a:c a:,o:c w|o stuu|lcc
was ¡u:is|cc. lc also suiic:cc i:ou ovc:sc:sitivc |ca:i:g a:c louc :oiscs c::agcc |iu. I|c walls
oi |is |cc:oou a:c stuc, wc:c i:sulatcc, |ut |c cou¡lai:cc |ittc:l, a|out w|at was t|c: o:l,
ui:o: t:aiiic i: ·to:gata:.
\ot|c: ca::icc a cou|lc wo:| loac a:c was alwa,s tc:sc, so slc¡t |acl, a:c uscc st:o:g
:cuccics w|ic| |ac sicc ciiccts causi:g :cstlcss:css a:c a:xict,. li|c lat|c:, s|c was |au:tcc |, a
sc:sc oi i:accquac, w|c: iaccc wit| cxaggc:atcc au|itio:s. lc: wo:st to:uc:t was ¡:o|a|l, t|c
iccli:g t|at s|c was slowl, losi:g co:tact wit| us c|ilc:c:. l: |c: ccs¡c:atio:, s|c tu::cc to u,
sistc: w|o was wcll|c|avcc a:c cou¡lia:t. Aitc: a: attcu¡t at suicicc, u, |:ot|c: |ac |cc: sc:t
to u¡sala. l :ct:catcc ccc¡c: a:c ccc¡c: i:to u, ow: wo:lc.
lt is uo:c t|a: ¡ossi|lc t|at l au cxaggc:ati:g t|c |lac|:css oi t|c scc:c. :o o:c qucstio:cc
ou: allocatcc :olcs o: t|c a|su:c i:t:igucs. I|is was ou: allottcc :calit,, liic. I|c:c wc:c :o
altc::ativcs, :o: wc:c a:, co:sicc:cc. lat|c: occasio:all, saic |c woulc |avc ¡:cic::cc to |c a
¡asto: i: t|c cou:t:,, a:c t|at |i:c oi c|allc:gc woulc ¡:o|a|l, |avc suitcc |iu |cttc:. \ot|c:
w:otc i: |c: scc:ct cia:, t|at s|c wa:tcc to |:ca| u¡ |c: ua::iagc a:c go to livc i: ltal,.
·:c cvc:i:g l was allowcc to accou¡a:, \ot|c: to scc a: olc i:ic:c w|o was |cac oi t|c
c|u:c| ¡u|lis|i:g |ousc, a ua: callcc u:clc lc:. lc |ac |cc: ua::icc, t|c: civo:ccc a:c livcc i:
a la:gc ca:| a¡a:tuc:t i: Vasastacc:. Io u, su:¡:isc, u:clc Io:stc:, a c|ilc|ooc i:ic:c oi
\ot|c:`s a:c lat|c:`s, :ow a |is|o¡ a:c ua::icc wit| ua:, c|ilc:c:, was also t|c:c.
l was givc: t|c tas| oi wo:|i:g u:clc lc:`s |ig g:auo¡|o:c i: t|c cc|oi:g ci:i:g :oou w|c:c
t|c uusic was louc, uai:l, \oza:t a:c Vc:ci o¡c:as. u:clc lc: cisa¡¡ca:cc i:to |is stuc,. \ot|c:
a:c u:clc Io:stc: sta,cc |, t|c ii:c i: t|c salo:. l coulc scc t|cu t|:oug| t|c |alio¡c: slici:g
coo:s, cac| i: a: a:uc|ai:, iai:tl, lit |, t|c ii:clig|t, a:c u:clc Io:stc: was |olci:g \ot|c:`s
|a:c. I|c, wc:c tal|i:g quictl, a:c |ccausc oi t|c uusic l coulc :ot |ca: t|c wo:cs. l coulc scc
\ot|c: was c:,i:g a:c u:clc Io:stc: lca:i:g io:wa:c, still |olci:g |c: |a:c.
A icw |ou:s latc:, u:clc lc: c:ovc us |ac| |ouc i: |is |ig |lac| ca: wit| its lcat|c: scats a:c
ca:| ¡a:cls oi wooc.
·uuuc: a:c wi:tc:, wc |ac ci::c: at iivc o`cloc|. W|c: t|c ci:i:g:oou cloc| st:uc|, wc
woulc |c t|c:c, |a:cs was|cc a:c |ai: |:us|cc, sta:ci:g |, ou: c|ai:s. G:acc was saic a:c wc sat
cow:, lat|c: a:c \ot|c: at cit|c: c:c oi t|c ta|lc, u, sistc: a:c l o: o:c sicc, u, |:ot|c: a:c
\iss Agca o: t|c ot|c:. \iss Agca was a gc:tlc, tall, so soucw|at u:stcac, woua:, w|o was
:call, a ¡:iua:, sc|ooltcac|c: a:c io: ua:, suuuc:s s|c |ac |cc: ou: ¡atic:t tuto: a:c |ac
|ccouc a: i:tiuatc i:ic:c oi \ot|c:`s.
I|c littlc clcct:ic |ul|s i: t|c |:o:zc c|a:cclic: s¡:cac a uu:|, ,cllow lig|t ovc: t|c ta|lc. I|c
|cav, sicc|oa:c, ovc:loaccc wit| silvc: o||ccts, was |, t|c ¡a:t:,, wit| a ¡ia:oio:tc o: t|c ot|c:
sicc, t|c |atciul uusiclcsso: sco:c lcit o¡c: o: t|c sta:c. lcav, cu:tai:s at t|c wi:cows, ca:|
A:|o:clius ¡ictu:cs o: t|c wall.
I|c ucal sta:tcc wit| ¡ic|lcc |c::i:g a:c ¡otatocs, o: ¡ic|lcc laltic |c::i:g a:c ¡otatocs, o:
|auaug:ati: a:c ¡otatocs. lat|c: c:a:| sc|:a¡¡s a:c |cc: wit| t|is. \ot|c: ¡:csscc a: clcct:ic
|cll |iccc: u:cc: t|c ta|lc a:c t|c ¡a:lou: uaic c:csscc i: |lac| a¡¡ca:cc. ·|c clca:cc awa, t|c
¡latcs a:c cutlc:,, a:c t|c: t|c uai: cis| was sc:vcc, at |cst ucat |alls, at wo:st uaca:o:i
¡ucci:g. ·a||agc :olls o: ¡o:| sausagcs wc:c all :ig|t, iis| loat|souc, |ut wc wc:c ca:ciul a|out
cx¡:cssi:g cissatisiactio:. lvc:,t|i:g |ac to |c catc:. lvc:,t|i:g «o· catc:.
W|c: t|c uai: cou:sc was ovc:, lat|c: ii:is|cc oii |is sc|:a¡¡s, |is io:c|cac |, t|c:
soucw|at :cc. Wc all atc i: silc:cc. ·|ilc:c: co:`t s¡ca| at ta|lc. I|c, :c¡l, ii s¡o|c: to. I|c
o|ligato:, qucstio: was as|cc. low cic it go at sc|ool toca,·` iollowcc |, t|c o|ligato:, a:swc:,
Wcll.` lavc ,ou |ac to co a:, oi ,ou: cssa,s agai:·` :o.` W|at qucstio:s wc:c ,ou givc:·
·oulc ,ou a:swc: t|cu·` Ycs, oi cou:sc l coulc,` l ¡|o:cc ,ou: class tcac|c:. You`vc ¡asscc i:
uat|s.` la:c, t|at.`
lat|c: suilcc sa:casticall,. \ot|c: too| |c: uccici:c. ·|c |ac :ccc:tl, u:cc:go:c a ua|o:
o¡c:atio: a:c co:sta:tl, |ac to ta|c uccici:c. lat|c: tu::cc to u, |:ot|c:. luitatc t|at iciot
:ilsso:.` \, |:ot|c: |ac a talc:t io: iuitati:g ¡co¡lc a:c at o:cc lct |is |aw c:o¡, :ollcc |is c,cs,
¡i:c|cc |is :osc, a:c uuu|lcc i:co|c:c:tl, i: a t|ic| voicc. lat|c: laug|cc a:c \ot|c: suilcc
:clucta:tl,. l:iuc \i:istc: lc: Al|i: la:sso: s|oulc |c s|ot,` lat|c: succc:l, saic. I|at w|olc
socialist ¡ac| s|oulc |c s|ot.` You uust:`t sa, t|at,` saic \ot|c:, |c: voicc co:t:ollcc. W|at
uust:`t l sa,· ·a:`t l sa, t|at wc`:c govc::cc |, :a||lc a:c |a:cits·` lat|c:`s |cac s|oo| vc:,
slig|tl,. Wc uust co t|c agc:ca io: t|c c|u:c| cou:cil uccti:g,` \ot|c: saic to cist:act |iu.
You`vc al:cac, saic t|at scvc:al tiucs,` lat|c: :c¡licc, |is io:c|cac :ow sca:lct. \ot|c: lowc:cc
|c: c,cs a:c ¡o|cc at |c: iooc. ls lilia: still ill·` s|c as|cc soitl,, tu::i:g to u, sistc:. ·|c`s
coui:g |ac| to sc|ool touo::ow,` \a:ga:cta :c¡licc i: a suall voicc. ·|c ca: couc to ci::c:
wit| us o: ·u:ca,, ca:`t s|c·`
·ilc:cc icll ovc: t|c ta|lc, wc atc, |:ivcs a:c io:|s sc:ccc|i:g agai:st ¡o:cclai:, ,cllow lig|t,
t|c silvc: o: t|c sicc|oa:c s|i:i:g, t|c ci:i:g:oou cloc| tic|i:g. I|c,`vc a¡¡oi:tcc lc:o:ius
ccs¡itc t|c cat|cc:al c|a¡tc:`s :ccouuc:catio: to Alga:c,` saic lat|c:. I|at`s |ow it is a:c
t|at`s |ow it`ll go o:. l:cou¡ctc:cc. lcioc,.` \ot|c: s|oo| |c: |cac, |c: cx¡:cssio: slig|tl,
co:tcu¡tuous. ls it t:uc A:|o:clius is goi:g to ¡:cac| o: Gooc l:ica,· :o o:c ca: |ca: w|at |c`s
sa,i:g.` lc:|a¡s t|at`s |ust as wcll,` saic lat|c:, a:c laug|cc.
luucciatcl, aitc: ou: ii:al cxaus at sc|ool, u, ii:st lovc, A::a li:c|c:g, wc:t to l:a:cc to
iu¡:ovc |c: l:c:c|. ·|c ua::icc t|c:c a icw ,ca:s latc:, |ac two c|ilc:c: a:c caug|t ¡olio. lc:
|us|a:c was |illcc o: t|c scco:c ca, oi t|c wa:. Wc lost co:tact. l:stcac l cou:tcc a:ot|c: sc|ool
i:ic:c.
·ccilia vo: Gott|a:c was :cc|ai:cc, clcvc:, quic|wittcc a:c co:sicc:a|l, uo:c uatu:c t|a:
|c: acui:c:. W|, s|c |ac c|osc: uc i:ou auo:g all t|c |caux was a u,stc:,. l was a usclcss
lovc:, a: cvc: wo:sc ca:cc: a:c a co:vc:sacio:alist w|o tal|cc ccasclcssl, a|out |iuscli. Wc latc:
|ccauc c:gagcc a:c iuucciatcl, wc:c uutuall, u:iait|iul. ·ccilia |:o|c oii ou: :clatio:s|i¡
sa,i:g t|at l`c :cvc: gct a:,w|c:c, a |ucgcuc:t s|a:cc |, u, ¡a:c:ts, |, uc a:c |, all t|osc
a:ou:c uc.
·ccilia livcc wit| |c: uot|c: i: a ccsolatc s|ow a¡a:tuc:t i: ·stc:ualu. lc: iat|c: |ac |cc:
a: iu¡o:ta:t ua: i: t|c acui:ist:atio:, t|c: o:c ca, |c |ac couc |ac| ca:l, i:ou wo:|, go:c to
|cc a:c :ciuscc to gct u¡ agai:. lc s¡c:t souc tiuc i: a uc:tal |os¡ital, t|c: |ac a c|ilc |, a
,ou:g :u:sc a:c uovcc to a suall ia:u u¡ i: ¡autla:c.
·ccilia`s uot|c: was so as|aucc oi t|is social cisastc: s|c |ac uovcc i:to t|c ca:| uaic`s :oou
|c|i:c t|c |itc|c:, a:c sclcou s|owcc |c:scli, t|c: o:l, at cus|, |c: t|ic|l, ¡ai:tcc iacc |clow
|c: wig a colc c:aug|t oi suiic:i:g a:c ¡assio:. ·|c cluc|cc as s|c s¡o|c, so quictl, it was |a:c to
|ca: w|at s|c was sa,i:g, a:c s|c uacc succc: i:volu:ta:, uovcuc:ts oi |c: |cac a:c s|oulcc:s.
Wit|i: ·ccilia`s ,ou:g |caut, gliu¡scs oi s|accs oi |c: uot|c:`s |c|aviou: coulc |c scc:. latc:,
t|is lcc uc to t|c co:clusio: t|at t|c \uuu, a:c t|c You:g lac, i: ·t:i:c|c:g`s c|.·· :.-o·o
oug|t to |c ¡la,cc |, t|c sauc act:css.
l:ccc i:ou t|c i:o: :cst:ictio:s oi sc|ool, l |oltcc li|c a: i:sa:c |o:sc a:c cic :ot sto¡ u:til six
,ca:s latc:, w|c: l |ccauc ci:ccto: oi lclsi:g|o:g \u:ici¡al I|cat:c. l lca::t souc |isto:, oi
litc:atu:c i:ou \a:ti: lauu, w|o lcctu:cc o: ·t:i:c|c:g i: a |a:tc:i:g to:c t|at caug|t t|c
aucic:cc a:c oiic:ccc u, u:c:itical acui:atio:. l :calizcc o:l, latc: t|at |is a:al,sis was |:illia:t. l
|oi:cc a ,out| o:ga:izatio: i: t|c ·lc ·it, callcc \astc:·loisga:cc: a:c |ac t|c g:cat ¡:ivilcgc
oi ta|i:g c|a:gc oi t|c livcl, a:c cx¡a:ci:g c:aua activitics. I|c: t|c:c wc:c stucc:t c:auatics. l
soo: sta:tcc a cou:sc at t|c u:ivc:sit, i: ·toc||olu io: t|c sa|c oi a¡¡ca:a:ccs, |ut stucc:t c:aua
too| u¡ all t|c tiuc :ot s¡c:t slcc¡i:g wit| \a:ia. ·|c ¡la,cc t|c \ot|c: i: 1|e te!..o- a:c was
iauous wit|i: t|c stucc:t u:io:s. ·|c |ac a t|ic|sct |oc, wit| slo¡i:g s|oulcc:s, |ig| |:casts a:c
|ig |i¡s a:c t|ig|s. lc: iacc was ilat wit| a lo:g wclls|a¡cc :osc, |:oac io:c|cac a:c cx¡:cssivc
ca:| |luc c,cs. ·|c |ac a t|i: uout|, t|c co::c:s so¡|isticatccl, c:aw: cow:. lc: |ai: was t|i:
a:c c,cc vc:, :cc. ·|c |ac a co:sicc:a|lc giit io: la:guagc a:c |ac ¡u|lis|cc a collcctio: oi ¡ocus
¡:aiscc |, A:tu: lu:c|vist. l: t|c cvc:i:gs, s|c |clc cou:t at a co::c: ta|lc i: t|c stucc:t caic,
c:a:| |:a:c, a:c c|ai:suo|cc Auc:ica: Vi:gi:ia: ciga:cttcs callcc Golcila|c, ¡ac|cc i: a ca:|
,cllow ti: wit| a |looc:cc scal.
\a:ia gavc uc all |i:cs oi cx¡c:ic:ccs, a:c |ccauc a s¡lc:cic a:ticotc to u, i:tcllcctual
i:colc:cc, u, s¡i:itual slo¡¡i:css a:c co:iuscc sc:tiuc:talit,. ·|c also satisiicc u, scxual |u:gc:,
o¡c:i:g t|c ¡:iso: |a:s a:c lctti:g out a :avi:g lu:atic.
Wc i:|a|itcc a c:au¡cc o:c:oou a¡a:tuc:t o: t|c ·out| ·icc oi ·toc||olu, co:tai:i:g a
|oo|s|cli, two c|ai:s, a ccs| wit| a :caci:g lau¡ a:c two uatt:csscs ¡lus |ccclot|cs. ·oo|i:g
was co:c i: a cu¡|oa:c a:c t|c |asi: was uscc io: |ot| cis|cs a:c was|i:g. Wc sat a:c wo:|cc,
cac| oi us o: a uatt:css, \a:ia suo|i:g i:ccssa:tl,. l: scliccic:cc, l ii:cc oii a cou:tc:attac| a:c
was soo: a c|ai:suo|c:.
\, ¡a:c:ts iuucciatcl, ciscovc:cc l was s¡c:ci:g u, :ig|ts awa,. l:vcstigatio:s wc:c uacc,
t|c t:ut| :cvcalcc a:c l was as|cc to cx¡lai: u,scli, wit| t|c :csult t|at l |ac a violc:t altc:catio:
wit| u, iat|c:. l wa::cc |iu :ot to |it uc. lc |it uc a:c l |it |iu |ac|. lc staggc:cc a:c c:ccc
u¡ sitti:g o: t|c iloo: w|ilc \ot|c: altc::atcl, wc¡t a:c a¡¡calcc to t|c :cu:a:ts oi ou:
couuo:sc:sc. l ¡us|cc |c: asicc a:c s|c sc:caucc loucl,. I|at sauc cvc:i:g l w:otc a lcttc: to
sa, wc woulc :cvc: scc o:c a:ot|c: agai:.
l lcit |ouc wit| a sc:sc oi :clici a:c sta,cc awa, io: scvc:al ,ca:s.
\, |:ot|c: t:icc to couuit suicicc, u, sistc: was io:ccc i:to a: a|o:tio: out oi co:sicc:atio:
io: t|c iauil,, l :a: awa, i:ou |ouc. \, ¡a:c:ts livcc i: a: cx|austi:g, ¡c:ua:c:t statc oi c:isis
wit| :cit|c: |cgi::i:g :o: c:c. I|c, iuliillcc t|ci: cutics, t|c, uacc |ugc ciio:ts, a¡¡cali:g to
Goc io: uc:c,, t|ci: |clicis, valucs a:c t:acitio:s oi :o |cl¡ to t|cu. :ot|i:g |cl¡cc. ·u: c:aua
was actcc out |cio:c cvc:,o:c`s c,cs o: t|c |:ig|tl, lit stagc oi t|c ¡a:so:agc. lca: c:catcc w|at
was ica:cc.
l was oiic:cc a icw ¡:oicssio:al couuissio:s. I|c stagc ¡:ocucc: l:ita vo: lo:: a:c |c:
lla,w:ig|ts` ·tucio lct uc wo:| wit| ¡:oicssio:al acto:s. I|c ¡u|lic ¡a:|s couuittcc as|cc uc to
¡:ocucc ¡c:io:ua:ccs io: c|ilc:c:. l sta:tcc a suall t|cat:c i: t|c ·ivic ·c:t:c. Wc ¡la,cc uostl,
to c|ilc:c:, |ut also t:icc to stagc ·t:i:c|c:g`s c|.·· :.-o·o. I|c acto:s wc:c ¡:oicssio:als a:c
wc:c to |c ¡aic tc: |:o:o: a :ig|t. I|c vc:tu:c cauc to a: c:c aitc: scvc: ¡c:io:ua:ccs.
A tou:i:g acto: soug|t uc out, wa:ti:g uc to ¡:ocucc ·t:i:c|c:g`s 1|e to·|e. wit| |iuscli i:
t|c uai: ¡a:t. l was to go o: tou: wit| t|cu i: c|a:gc oi ¡:o¡s a:c lig|ti:g. \, i:tc:tio: |ac
actuall, |cc: to ta|c a ¡ost¡o:cc cxau i: t|c |isto:, oi litc:atu:c, |ut t|c tcu¡tatio: was ia: too
g:cat. l gavc u¡ u, stucics, |:o|c wit| \a:ia a:c sct oii wit| ¡o:ata: ls||o::sso:`s cou¡a:,. I|c
¡:cuic:c too| ¡lacc i: a suall tow: i: sout|c:: ·wccc:. ·cvc:tcc: ¡co¡lc |oug|t tic|cts i:
:cs¡o:sc to ou: call. I|c :cvicws i: t|c local ¡a¡c: wc:c scat|i:g a:c t|c cou¡a:, cis¡c:scc t|c
:cxt uo::i:g, cac| o:c oi t|cu |avi:g to ii:c |is a:c |c: ow: wa, |ouc as |cst t|c, coulc. l
u,scli ¡osscsscc a |a:c|oilcc cgg, |ali a loai oi |:cac a:c six |:o:o:.
\, :ct:cat coulc :ot |avc |cc: uo:c ig:oui:ious a:c \a:ia, w|o |ac acviscc uc agai:st
goi:g, cic :ot attcu¡t to co:ccal |c: t:iuu¡|. :cit|c: cic s|c |cc¡ |c: :cw lovc: a scc:ct. All
t|:cc oi us livcc io: a icw :ig|ts i: t|c c:au¡cc a¡a:tuc:t, |cio:c l was t|:ow: out wit| a |lac|
c,c a:c a s¡:ai:cc t|uu|. \a:ia |ac wca:icc oi ou: iu¡:oviscc uc:agc a:c u, :ival was st:o:gc:
t|a: uc.
Du:i:g t|c sauc ¡c:ioc, l was cu¡lo,cc at t|c ·¡c:a lousc as a vi:tuall, u:¡aic ¡:ocuctio:
assista:t. A :icc gi:l i: t|c |allct ¡:oviccc uc wit| u, |cc¡ a:c |ousc:oou io: a icw wcc|s. lc:
uot|c: coo|cc ou: iooc a:c was|cc u, u:cc:clot|cs, u, stouac| ulcc: |calcc a:c l was givc:
t|c |o| oi ¡:ou¡tc: i: o.¡|eo· .- ·|e u-1e.«..!1 io: t|i:tcc: |:o:o: a :ig|t. l was a|lc to uovc i:to
a :c:tcc :oou at lill¡a:s¡la: a:c coulc aiio:c a ¡:o¡c: ucal o:cc a ca,.
I|c: l succc:l, w:otc twclvc ¡la,s a:c a: o¡c:a. ·lacs loogla:c, ci:ccto: oi t|c ·tucc:t
I|cat:c, :cac t|cu all a:c ccciccc wc woulc ¡ut o: 1|e Ðeo·| .¡ to-.|, a ¡la, w|ic| is a:
aucacious ¡lagia:isu oi to-.|· :|..·e 1oe·1o, |, ·t:i:c|c:g a:c 1|e o!1 t!o, .¡ i·e.,¬o-, a iact t|at
cic :ot cu|a::ass uc i: t|c slig|tcst.
I|c ¡:cuic:c was a succcss a:c was cvc: :cvicwcc i: :·e-·|o Ðo¸/!o1e·. ·: t|c last :ig|t, ·a:l
A:cc:s D,uli:g, :ccc:tl, a¡¡oi:tcc |cac oi ·vc:s| lilui:cust:i, a:c ·ti:a lc:gua:, l|alua:`s
|ci: a:c |cac oi t|c sc:cc:¡la, cc¡a:tuc:t, wc:c i: t|c aucic:cc. I|c :cxt ca, l was suuuo:cc
to ·ti:a a:c givc: a ,ca:`s cu¡lo,uc:t, u, ow: oiiicc, ccs|, c|ai:, tclc¡|o:c a:c a vicw ovc: t|c
:oois a:ou:c lu:gsgata: !0. I|c sala:, was .00 |:o:o: a uo:t|.
l was :ow :cs¡ccta|lc a:c i: ¡c:ua:c:t cu¡lo,uc:t, a ¡c:so: w|o sat at a ccs| cvc:, ca, a:c
ccitcc sc:i¡ts, w:otc cialoguc a:c cic c:aits io: iilus. Wc wc:c iivc sc:i¡t slavcs` wo:|i:g u:cc:
·ti:a lc:gua:`s cou¡ctc:t a:c uot|c:l, guica:cc. ·ccasio:all, a ¡:ocucc: ¡ut i: a: a¡¡ca:a:cc
i: ou: localit,, oitc: Gustai \ola:cc:, w|o was alwa,s :cuotc ii i:ic:cl,. l |ac su|uittcc a
sc:cc:¡la, a|out u, sc|oolca,s. \ola:cc: :cac it a:c :ccouuc:ccc t|at it s|oulc |c iilucc.
·vc:s| lilui:cust:i |oug|t it a:c ¡aic uc .000 |:o:o:, a: iuuc:sc suu oi uo:c,. Ali ·|o|c:g,
w|ou l acui:cc, was to ci:cct it. l ua:agcc to a:guc u, wa, i:to t|c stucio c:cw.
\, suggcstio: was t|at l s|oulc iu:ctio: as souc |i:c oi sc:i¡t |o,. lt was gc:c:ous oi Ali
·|o|c:g to accc¡t u, oiic:, as l |ac :cvc: |cc: i:volvcc i: iilui:g a:c cic :ot |:ow w|at a sc:i¡t
|o, was su¡¡oscc to co. :atu:all, l was a :uisa:cc a:c a |u:cc: to t|cu. l oitc: io:got u,
¡:oicssio:al :olc a:c i:tc:ic:cc wit| t|c wo:| oi t|c ci:ccto:. l was :c¡:iua:ccc a:c s|ut u,scli
i:to a cu||,|olc a:c wc¡t, |ut l cic :ot givc u¡. I|c o¡¡o:tu:itics io: lca::i:g i:ou a uastc:
wc:c u:liuitcc.
l |ac ua::icc llsc lis|c:, a ¡la,uatc i:ou u, :ccc:t tou:i:g ca,s. ·|c was a ca:cc: a:c
c|o:cog:a¡|c:, a:c co:sicc:cc vc:, talc:tcc. ·|c was |i:c, clcvc: a:c iu::,. Wc livcc i: a two
:oou a¡a:tuc:t i: A|:a|aus|c:g. A wcc| |cio:c ou: wccci:g, l :a: awa,, |ut l cauc |ac|. A
caug|tc: was |o:: t|c ca, |cio:c ·|:istuas lvc i: 1-+!.
Du:i:g t|c iilui:g oi t.e-.,, l was oiic:cc t|c ¡ost oi ci:ccto: oi t|c \u:ici¡al I|cat:c i:
lclsi:g|o:g. I|is tow: i: sout| wcst ·wccc: :a: o:c oi t|c olccst uu:ici¡al t|cat:cs i: t|c
cou:t:, a:c it was :ow to |c closcc, t|c g:a:ts to |c t:a:sic::cc to t|c :cwl, |uilt t|cat:c i:
\aluo. I|is ¡:ovo|cc t|c ¡at:iotic locals i:to cccici:g to ca::, o: ii at all ¡ossi|lc. ·cvc:al t|cat:c
¡co¡lc wc:c a¡¡:oac|cc, |ut t|c, cccli:cc as soo: as t|c, iou:c out a|out t|c ¡:cuiscs a:c
ii:a:cial ci:cuusta:ccs. l: t|ci: :ccc, t|c ua:agcuc:t tu::cc to t|c :c:ow:cc c:aua c:itic o:
:·..||.!¬· 1.1-.-¸e-, lc:|c:t G:cvc:ius, w|o :c¡licc t|at ii t|c, wa:tcc a t|cat:c ua:iac w|o was
also talc:tcc a:c |ac souc acui:ist:ativc s|ills ;l |ac :u: t|c c|ilc:c:`s t|cat:c i: t|c ·ivic ·c:t:c
io: a ,ca:,, t|c: t|c, s|oulc s¡ca| to lc:gua:. Aitc: souc |csitatio:, t|c, too| |is acvicc.
l |oug|t t|c ii:st |at oi u, liic to givc a: iu¡:cssio: oi sta|ilit, l cic :ot ¡osscss, wc:t to
lclsi:g|o:g a:c loo|cc at t|c t|cat:c. lt was i: a: a¡¡alli:g statc, t|c ¡:cuiscs s|a||, a:c ci:t,.
I|c cou¡a:, ¡c:io:ucc twicc a wcc| o: avc:agc a:c t|c statistics :cvcalcc a: aucic:cc oi twc:t,
cig|t ¡a,i:g ¡co¡lc ¡c: ¡c:io:ua:cc.
l lovcc t|c t|cat:c i:ou t|c vc:, ii:st uouc:t.
l uacc a :uu|c: oi ccua:cs. I|c cou¡a:, s|oulc |c c|a:gcc. I|c t|cat:c s|oulc |c :c
cqui¡¡cc. I|c :uu|c: oi ¡la,s ¡ut o: s|oulc |c i:c:cascc. A su|sc:i¡tio: sc|cuc s|oulc |c
sta:tcc. Io u, su:¡:isc, t|c ua:agcuc:t ag:ccc. l was :ow t|c cou:t:,`s ,ou:gcst t|cat:c
ci:ccto: oi all tiuc a:c coulc c|oosc u, ow: acto:s a:c ot|c: staii. ·u: co:t:act :a: io: cig|t
uo:t|s, so io: t|c :cst oi t|c ,ca: wc woulc |avc to ua:agc as |cst wc coulc.
I|c:c wc:c ilcas i: t|c t|cat:c. I|c olc cou¡a:, uust ¡:csuua|l, |avc |cc: iuuu:c, |ut t|c
:cw ucu|c:s wit| t|ci: ,ou:g |looc wc:c scvc:cl, |ittc:. I|c ¡luu|i:g i:ou t|c t|cat:c
:cstau:a:t :a: ¡ast t|c uc:`s c:cssi:g :oou a:c u:i:c c:i¡¡cc o: to t|c :aciato: |, t|c wall. I|c
olc |uilci:g was c:aug|t,, a:c a iai:t uoa:i:g oi t|c lost souls oi ccuo:s cauc i:ou t|c loit, ilics.
I|c |cati:g iu:ctio:cc |acl, a:c, w|c: t|c, :i¡¡cc u¡ t|c iloo: oi t|c aucito:iuu, t|c, iou:c
|u:c:ccs oi :ats ccac i:ou co|c iuuc ¡oiso:i:g. I|c livi:g :ats wc:c :o|ust, u:ai:aic a:c c:|o,cc
a¡¡ca:i:g. I|c t|cat:c c:gi:cc:`s iat cat wc:t i:to |ici:g w|c: attac|cc.
l co :ot wis| to |ccouc :ostalgic, |ut io: uc t|is was ¡a:acisc o: ca:t|. I|c:c was a s¡acious
stagc, c:aug|t, a:c ci:t,, t:uc, |ut t|c stagc iloo: slo¡cc gc:tl, cow: towa:cs t|c iootlig|ts, t|c
cu:tai: was ¡atc|cc a:c wo:: |ut ¡ai:tcc :cc, w|itc a:c golc. I|c c:cssi:g :oous wc:c ¡:iuitivc,
c:au¡cc a:c cqui¡¡cc wit| iou: was||asi:s. I|c:c wc:c two toilcts io: cig|tcc: ¡co¡lc.
Wc wc:c co:sta:tl, ¡c:io:ui:g a:c :c|ca:si:g. I|c ii:st ,ca: wc cic :i:c ¡la,s i: cig|t
uo:t|s, t|c scco:c ,ca: tc:. Wc :c|ca:scc io: t|:cc wcc|s, t|c: |ac a ¡:cuic:c.
:o ¡la, :a: io: uo:c t|a: twc:t, ¡c:io:ua:ccs, cxcc¡t ou: :cw Yca: :cvuc, w|ic| was a |ugc
succcss a:c :a: io: t|i:t,iivc s|ows. ·u: cail, liic |clo:gcc to t|c t|cat:c i:ou :i:c i: t|c
uo::i:g u:til clcvc: at :ig|t. Wc cic quitc a |it oi :cvclli:g, |ut icstivitics wc:c c:asticall, liuitcc
|, ou: cisast:ous ii:a:ccs. Wc wc:c |a::cc i:ou t|c G:a:c`s clcga:t ci:i:g :oou, |ut wclcouc at
t|c :ca: w|c:c t|c :cstau:a:t |cc¡c: |ac a::a:gcc a s¡ccial |as| wit| |cc: a:c sc|:a¡¡s. ·:ccit
was gc:c:ous, :ot to sa, i:culgc:t. Aitc: :c|ca:sals o: ·atu:ca,, wc wc:c givc: |ot c|ocolatc wit|
gc:ui:c ;wa:tiuc, w|i¡¡cc c:cau a:c ii:c ca|cs at la|lua:`s ¡atissc:ic caic i: ·to:to:gct.
lclsi:g|o:gia:s :cccivcc us wit| ovc:w|clui:g i:ic:cli:css a:c |os¡italit,. Wc wc:c oitc:
i:vitcc |ac| io: latc:ig|t iooc at t|c |oucs oi iu¡o:ta:t citizc:s. W|c: ucu|c:s oi t|c cou¡a:,
a¡¡ca:cc aitc: t|c ¡c:io:ua:cc, t|c ot|c: gucsts |ac al:cac, catc:, a:c iou:c auuscuc:t i:
watc|i:g t|c sta:vi:g acto:s |cl¡i:g t|cusclvcs i:ou t|c :claic a:c g:oa:i:g ta|lcs. A wcalt|,
g:occ: |ac a s|o¡ ciago:all, ac:oss t|c st:cct i:ou t|c t|cat:c, w|c:c a cis|oit|cca, cost o:c
|:o:a a:c :oous a:c a¡a:tuc:ts wc:c :c:tcc out i: a ccca,i:g cig|tcc:t|cc:tu:, |uilci:g i:sicc
t|c cou:t,a:c. I|c Vi:gi:ia c:cc¡c: |ac g:ow: :ig|t t|:oug| t|c wi:cowi:aucs a:c walls, t|c
toilct was i: t|c stai:wcll a:c watc: |ac to |c ictc|cc i:ou a ¡uu¡ i: t|c co||lcc ,a:c.
I|c |ig|cst sala:, was ·00 |:o:c:, t|c lowcst !00. Wc ua:agcc as |cst wc coulc, |o::owcc
a:c too| out acva:ccs. :o o:c t|oug|t oi ¡:otcsti:g a|out ou: w:ctc|cc co:citio:s. Wc wc:c
g:atciul io: ou: i:c:cci|lc gooc io:tu:c at |ci:g a|lc to ¡la, cvc:, :ig|t, a:c :c|ca:sc cvc:, ca,.
·u: i:cust:, was :cwa:ccc. I|c ii:st ,ca: a total oi o0,000 ¡co¡lc cauc, a:c wc also :ccou¡cc
ou: g:a:t, u:cou|tccl, a g:cat t:iuu¡|. I|c ·toc||olu :cws¡a¡c:s |cga: to :oticc ou:
¡c:io:ua:ccs a:c ou: uo:alc :osc. ·¡:i:g cauc ca:l, t|at ,ca: a:c wc wc:t o: a: cxcu:sio: to
A:ilc, w|c:c wc scttlcc cow: o: t|c ccgc oi a |ccc| wooc wit| a vicw ovc: t|c uilc s¡:i:g sca,
atc ou: ¡ac|cc iooc a:c c:a:| |ac :cc wi:c. l got c:u:| a:c uacc a co:iuscc s¡ccc| i: w|ic| l
¡oi:tcc out i: o|scu:c tc:us t|at wc t|cat:c ¡co¡lc livcc i: Goc`s o¡c: |a:c a:c wc:c cs¡cciall,
c|osc: to c:cu:c ¡ai: a:c |o,. ·ouco:c ¡la,cc \a:lc:c Dict:ic|`s Pe-- Ðo ce/o.·ç·o¸ |o··, /.-
..| /e. Ð.. .o co·· 1.e ¸o¬e :o.|·. ¦W|c: it`s ,ou: |i:t|ca,, l`ll |c ,ou: gucst t|c w|olc :ig|t lo:g.¡
:o o:c listc:cc to uc a:c g:acuall, cvc:,o:c |cga: to tal|, a icw to ca:cc. l iclt uisu:cc:stooc,
wc:t asicc a:c t|:cw u¡.
l |ac go:c to lclsi:g|o:g wit|out u, wiic a:c c|ilc. lt |ac |cc: csta|lis|cc i: t|c s¡:i:g t|at
|ot| llsc a:c ou: i:ia:t caug|tc: |ac tu|c:culosis. llsc was acuittcc to a ¡:ivatc sa:ato:iuu :ca:
Alvcsta, w|c:c t|c iccs wc:c t|c sauc as u, uo:t|l, sala:,, a:c lc:a c:ccc u¡ i: t|c ·ac|s|a
c|ilc:c:`s |os¡ital. l wc:t o: cciti:g sc:i¡ts io: ·vc:s| li¡ui:cust:i, so coulc |ust su¡¡o:t t|cu.
l was also alo:c i: t|c sc:sc t|at l was t|c ci:ccto: a:c i: c|a:gc, |ut l cic |avc a ii:a:cial
ci:ccto: alo:gsicc uc, a :cua:|a|lc ua: w|o ow:cc a :uu|c: oi |a|c:cas|c:, s|o¡s i:
·toc||olu. lo: scvc:al ,ca:s, |c |ac :u: t|c loulcva:c I|cat:c o: ki:gvagc:, w|c:c l |ac ¡ut o:
a icw ¡la,s. W|c: l as|cc |iu to couc wit| uc to lclsi:g|o:g, |c |ac at o:cc accc¡tcc. lc was a
gooc auatcu: acto: a:c li|cc ¡la,i:g ui:o: :olcs. lc was a |ac|clo:, lovcc ,ou:g wouc: a:c |ac
a :c¡cllc:t a¡¡ca:a:cc w|ic| aluost |ic t|c gooc ua: |c:cat|. lc c:su:cc t|c:c was uo:c, i: t|c
|ousc. W|c: iu:cs wc:c low, |c uo:tgagcc |is |a|c:cas|c:, s|o¡s. lc co:sicc:cc uc i:sa:c, |ut
suilcc a:c saic. Y·\ uust cccicc. l cic so, oitc: |:utall, a:c :ut|lcssl,. ·o l |ccauc :at|c: lo:cl,.
llsc, w|o was to |avc |cc: t|c t|cat:c`s c|o:cog:a¡|c: a:c ca:cc:, :ccouuc:ccc as a
:c¡laccuc:t a i:ic:c i:ou |c: ca,s wit| \a:, Wigua:. lc: :auc was lllc: lu:cst:ou a:c s|c
|ac |ust ua::icc t|c t|c: iai:l, u:|:ow: ¡|otog:a¡|c: ·|:istc: ·t:ou|olu. ·|c cauc to
lclsi:g|o:g a:c |c wc:t to Ai:ica. lllc:, a st:i|i:gl, |cautiiul gi:l w|o :aciatcc c:otic a¡¡cal, was
talc:tcc, o:igi:al a:c |ig|l, cuotio:al.
A uilc ¡:ouiscuit, s¡:cac t|:oug| t|c cou¡a:,. lo: a s|o:t ¡c:ioc cvc:,o:c |ac c:a|licc a:c
t|c:c wc:c occasio:al out|:ca|s oi |calous,. I|c t|cat:c was i:cccc ou: |ouc, |ut ot|c:wisc wc
wc:c all iai:l, co:iuscc a:c |u:g:, io: cou¡a:io:s|i¡.
Wit|out :call, givi:g it uuc| t|oug|t, lllc: a:c l |ac sta:tcc a :clatio:s|i¡ w|ic| soo: :csultcc
i: ¡:cg:a:c,. At ·|:istuas, llsc was allowcc out oi t|c sa:ato:iuu a:c wc uct i: ·toc||olu at
|c: uot|c:`s. l tolc |c: w|at |ac |a¡¡c:cc a:c saic t|at l wa:tcc a civo:cc, a:c t|at l was goi:g to
livc wit| lllc:. l :cgistc:cc llsc`s iacc tu::i:g :igic wit| ¡ai:. ·|c was sitti:g at t|c ci:i:g ta|lc i:
t|c |itc|c:, |c: c|cc|s :cc i:ou |c: ill:css a:c |c: c|ilcis| uout| tig|t s|ut. I|c: s|c saic quitc
calul,. You`ll |avc to ¡a, uai:tc:a:cc. ·a: ,ou aiio:c t|at, ,ou ¡oo: t|i:g·` li l`vc |cc: a|lc to
¡a, ·00 |:o:o: a uo:t| io: ,ou: cau:cc ¡:ivatc sa:ato:iuu,` l :c¡licc |ittc:l,, :o cou|t l`ll |c
a|lc to sc:a¡c u¡ souct|i:g io: uai:tc:a:cc too. Do:`t wo::,.`
l co :ot :ccog:izc t|c ¡c:so: l was io:t, ,ca:s ago. \, cist:css is so ¡:oiou:c a:c t|c
su¡¡:cssio: ucc|a:isu iu:ctio:s so ciicctivcl,, l ca: cvo|c t|c ¡ictu:c o:l, wit| ciiiicult,.
l|otog:a¡|s a:c oi littlc valuc. I|c, siu¡l, s|ow a uasquc:acc t|at |as c:t:c:c|cc itscli. li l iclt
attac|cc, l s:a¡¡cc li|c a i:ig|tc:cc cog. l t:ustcc :o o:c, lovcc :o o:c, uisscc :o o:c. ·|scsscc
wit| a scxualit, t|at io:ccc uc i:to co:sta:t i:iicclit,, l was to:uc:tcc |, ccsi:c, ica:, a:guis| a:c
a guilt, co:scic:cc.
·o l was alo:c a:c :agi:g. \, wo:| at t|c t|cat:c ¡:oviccc souc allcviatio: oi a tc:sio: w|ic|
o:l, lct go io: |:ici uouc:ts i: o:gasu o: c:u:|c::css. l |:cw l |ac ¡c:suasivc ¡owc:s, t|at l
coulc ua|c ¡co¡lc co w|at l wa:tcc t|cu to co, t|at l |ac souc |i:c oi su:iacc c|a:u w|ic| l
coulc switc| o: a:c oii at will. l was also awa:c t|at l |ac a talc:t io: |ci:g i:ig|tc:cc a:c
acqui:i:g a guilt, co:scic:cc, |ccausc cvc: si:cc c|ilc|ooc l |ac |:ow: a g:cat ccal a|out t|c
ucc|a:ics oi ica:. l: |:ici, l was a ua: wit| ¡owc: w|o |ac :ot lca::t to c:|o, ¡owc:.
Wc wc:c ciul, awa:c t|at a wo:lc wa: was :agi:g o: ou: coo:stc¡. W|c: t|c Auc:ica:
squac:o:s ilcw ovc: t|c ·ou:c, t|c acto:s` wo:cs wc:c c:ow:cc |, t|c :oisc oi t|c c:gi:cs. Wc
i:cust:iousl, :cac t|c i:c:casi:gl, |lac| |cacli:cs, t|c: tu::cc cagc:l, to t|c t|cat:c :cvicws,
givi:g t|c st:cau oi :ciugccs ac:oss t|c ·ou:c i:ou Dc:ua:| a: a|sc:tui:ccc uouc:ta:,
i:tc:cst.
l souctiucs wo:cc: w|at ou: ¡:ocuctio:s loo|cc li|c. As a guicc l |avc :ot|i:g |ut a |a:ciul
oi ¡|otog:a¡|s a:c a icw ,cllowcc cutti:gs. ·u: :c|ca:sal tiuc was s|o:t, ou: ¡:c¡a:atio:s
:o:cxistc:t. W|at wc ua:agcc to ac|icvc was a |astil, asscu|lcc a:tciact. l t|i:| t|at was gooc,
i: iact usciul. You:g ¡co¡lc s|oulc |c co:sta:tl, iaccc wit| :cw tas|s. I|c i:st:uuc:t |as to |c
t:icc a:c |a:cc:cc. Icc|:iquc ca: |c ccvclo¡cc o:l, .t|:oug| u:i:tc::u¡tcc a:c stu:c, co:tact
wit| t|c aucic:cc. l stagcc iivc ¡la,s t|at ii:st ,ca:. lvc: ii t|c :csults wc:c cu|ious, it was
saluta:,. :cit|c: l :o: u, i:ic:cs, u:cc:sta:ca|l, c:oug|, |ac suiiicic:t |uua: cx¡c:ic:cc to go
i:to t|c ¡:oiu:citics oi t|c ¡:o|lcus i: t|c c:aua oi Mo./e·|.
·:c :ig|t o: u, wa, |ouc i:ou t|c t|cat:c, l was succc:l, awa:c oi |ow l woulc |a:clc t|c
witc|cs w|c: t|c, a¡¡ca: i: t|c lattc: ¡a:t oi t|c ¡la,. \ac|ct| a:c lac, \ac|ct| a:c l,i:g i: |cc,
t|c wiic iast aslcc¡, t|c |us|a:c |aliaslcc¡, |aliawa|c, icvc:is| s|acows ilitti:g ac:oss t|c wall.
I|c witc|cs a¡¡ca: out oi t|c iloo: at t|c ioot oi t|c |cc, w|is¡c:i:g a:c tittc:i:g, closcl, li:|cc
togct|c:, t|ci: liu|s uovi:g li|c ¡la:ts i: :u::i:g watc:. lc|i:c t|c stagc souco:c is |auuc:i:g
o: t|c wi:cs oi a: u:tu:cc ¡ia:o. \ac|ct| is |:ccli:g u¡ i: |cc, scui:a|cc, |is |cac tu::cc
awa,, u:awa:c oi t|c witc|cs.
l sto¡¡cc i: t|c quict st:cct a:c stooc quitc still io: scvc:al ui:utcs, :c¡cati:g silc:tl, to
u,scli, Dau: it, l`vc got talc:t, l`u ¡:o|a|l, |:illia:t,` a: out|u:st t|at uacc uc iccl |ot a:c
cizz,. l: all u, uisc:,, a wcll:cgulatcc sclico:iicc:cc cxistcc, a stccl coluu: :ig|t t|:oug| t|c
:aus|ac|lc :ui:s oi u, soul.
Io a g:cat cxtc:t l t:icc to iuitatc u, uastc:s, Ali ·|o|c:g a:c ·loi \ola:cc:, stcali:g w|at
ca: |c stolc: a:c ¡atc|i:g it wit| souct|i:g oi u, ow:, l |ac littlc o: :o t|co:ctical t:ai:i:g. l |ac
:cac souc oi ·ta:islavs|,, w|o was ias|io:a|lc auo:g ,ou:g acto:s, |ut l |ac:`t u:cc:stooc o:
cvc: wa:tcc to u:cc:sta:c |iu. :cit|c: |ac l a:, o¡¡o:tu:it, to scc t|cat:c a|:oac. l was scli
taug|t a:c a villagc gc:ius.
li a:,o:c |ac as|cc uc a:c u, i:ic:cs t|c :caso: io: ou: :o:sto¡ activit,, wc woulc |avc |ac
:o a:swc:. Wc uacc t|cat:c |ccausc wc uacc t|cat:c. ·ouco:c |ac to sta:c o: t|c stagc tu::cc
towa:cs souc ¡co¡lc out t|c:c i: t|c ca:|:css. I|at it |a¡¡c:cc to |c |ust us sta:ci:g t|c:c i: t|c
lig|t was a st:o|c oi luc|. As a sc|ooli:g, it was all s¡lc:cic, t|c actual :csults wc:c ¡:o|a|l, |ig|l,
cu|ious. l wa:tcc so vc:, uuc| to |c l:os¡c:o, a:c l uostl, |c|avcc li|c ·ali|a:. Aitc: two ,ca:s
oi t|:as|i:g wilcl, a:ou:c, l was suuuo:cc to Got|c:|u:g. l cc¡a:tcc wit| c:t|usiasu a:c a:
u:s|a|a|lc sclico:iicc:cc.

1!
Io:stc: lauua:c: was sixt,two a:c |ac |cc: t|c ci:ccto: oi Got|c:|u:g ·it, I|cat:c si:cc
its i:cc¡tio: i: 1-!+. lcio:c t|at |c |ac |cc: ci:ccto: oi t|c lo:c:s|c:g I|cat:c, a:c |c was also a
cisti:guis|cc c|a:actc: acto:.
Io:stc: was |ig|l, :cga:ccc a:c |is cou¡a:, was co:sicc:cc t|c |cst i: t|c cou:t:,. l:ut
·t:ou, t|c t|cat:c`s ii:st ¡:ocucc:, was a: olc :cvolutio:a:, w|o |ac t:ai:cc u:cc: kci:|a:ct.
lclgc Wa|lg:c: ¡:cic::cc ¡:ocuci:g o: t|c ·tucio ·tagc a:c was tacitu::, s|a:¡ a:c ¡:ccisc. lis
acto:s |ac ¡la,cc togct|c: io: cccaccs, |ut t|at cic :ot uca: t|c, li|cc o:c a:ot|c:.
la:l, i: t|c autuu: oi 1-+o, lllc: a:c l uovcc to Got|c:|u:g wit| ou: two c|ilc:c:. l was
twc:t,cig|t. I|c c:css :c|ca:sal oi ·t:i:c|c:g`s c|.·· :.-o·o was ta|i:g ¡lacc at t|c t|cat:c. I|c
gucst¡:ocucc: was ·loi \ola:cc:. l c:c¡t i:to t|c |ac| oi t|c |ugc stagc, w|ic| was i: ca:|:css.
la:ia: awa, out i: i:o:t, l coulc |ca: t|c acto:s` voiccs a:c occasio:all, catc| a gliu¡sc oi t|cu i:
t|c ci:clc oi t|c s¡otlig|ts. l stooc quitc still a:c listc:cc. A la:gc t|cat:c co:tai:s cvc:, ¡ossi|ilit,,
g:cat acto:s a:c g:cat ccua:cs. l woulc :ot li|c to sa, l was i:ig|tc:cc, |ut l cic qua|c.
·uccc:l,, l was :o lo:gc: alo:c. At u, sicc was a ti:, littlc c:catu:c, o: ¡ossi|l, a g|ost, t|c
g:a:c olc lac, oi t|c t|cat:c. \a:ia ·c|ilc|:cc|t, c:csscc u¡ i: t|c ¡a::ot c:css a:c |iccous uas|
oi t|c \uuu,. l assuuc ,ou a:c \: lc:gua:,` s|c w|is¡c:cc, suili:g |i:cl, |ut tc::ii,i:gl,. l
co:ii:ucc u, icc:tit, a:c |owcc aw|wa:cl,. Wc stooc i: silc:cc io: a icw uouc:ts. Wcll, w|at
co ,ou t|i:| oi t|is t|c:·` saic t|c littlc g|ost, |c: voicc stc:: a:c c|allc:gi:g. Io uc it`s auo:g
t|c g:catcst wo:|s i: t|c |isto:, oi c:aua l :c¡licc t:ut|iull,. I|c \uuu, loo|cc at uc wit|
colc co:tcu¡t. ·| s|c saic. I|is is t|c |i:c oi s|it ·t:i:c|c:g |:oc|cc u¡ so t|at wc s|oulc
|avc souct|i:g to ¡la, at |is l:tiuatc I|cat:c.` ·|c lcit uc wit| a g:acious :oc. A icw ui:utcs
latc:, s|c wc:t o: stagc, out oi t|c g:cc::oou, sta:tlcc |, t|c su:lig|t, s|a|i:g |c: t:aili:g c:css i:
t|c wa, a ¡a::ot :uiilcs its icat|c:s. lu¡c:is|a|lc, i: a :olc s|c |atcc u:cc: a ¡:ocucc: s|c |atcc.
l was givc: a gc:c:ous cc|ut, co!.¸o!o |, ·auus. A:cc:s l|, a i:ic:c a:c co:tcu¡o:a:, i:ou
ou: i:a:tic ·toc||olu ca,s, uacc |is cc|ut i: t|c titlc :olc.
I|c w|olc co:¡s oi cui:c:t acto:s stooc a:ou:c loo|i:g o: us |cgi::c:s wit| sus¡icio: a:c :o
goocwill. All t|c t|cat:c`s tcc|:ical a:c uatc:ial :csou:ccs |ac |cc: ¡ut at u, cis¡osal.
·:c aitc::oo: i: t|c uicclc oi :c|ca:sals, Io:stc: lauua:c: cauc u:a::ou:ccc i:to t|c
aucito:iuu a:c sat cow: to sc:uti:izc ou: ciio:ts. lt was a: u:io:tu:atc uouc:t. A:cc:s l| was
ua:|i:g out, t|c ot|c: acto:s :caci:g t|ci: ¡a:ts. l:ou lac| oi cx¡c:ic:cc, l |ac lost co:t:ol ovc:
ccvclo¡uc:ts a:c l coulc |ca: lauua:c: g:oa:i:g a:c :cc:ossi:g |is lcgs. l: t|c c:c, |c coulc
sta:c it :o lo:gc: a:c s|outcc. W|at t|c |cll a:c ,ou u¡ to· ls t|is ¡:ivatc ¡:a,c:s· ·: a ¡:ivatc
wa:|· lla,i:g ua:|lcs· W|at t|c |looc, |cll a:c ,ou coi:g·`
·u:si:g a:c swca:i:g, |c :us|cc u¡ o: to t|c stagc a:c sta:tcc :cuo:st:ati:g wit| t|c :ca:cst
acto: |ccausc |c |ac :ot lct |is |oo| go. I|c accuscc ua: stauuc:cc souct|i:g a|out :cw
uct|ocs a:c iu¡:ovisatio:s, squi:ti:g i: u, ci:cctio:. lauua:c: i:tc::u¡tcc |iu |:is|l, a:c
sta:tcc ua|i:g c|a:gcs i: t|c sct. l was iu:ious a:c ,cllcc i:ou t|c aucito:iuu t|at l was :ot goi:g
to sta:c io: t|is, t|at t|is was a: i:t:usio: a:c t|c la:guagc oi io:cc. lauua:c: a:swc:cc wit| |is
|ac| tu::cc to uc. ·it cow: a:c s|ut u¡, t|c: ¡c:|a¡s ,ou`ll lca:: souct|i:g at last.` l |u:st a
|looc vcsscl a:c ,cllcc |ac| t|at l was:`t goi:g to sta:c io: t|is. lauua:c: laug|cc, i: a :ot
u:i:ic:cl, wa,, a:c callcc out. I|c: ,ou ca: go to |cll, ,ou ¡:ovi:cial littlc gc:ius:` l :us|cc to
t|c coo: a:c, aitc: a st:ugglc to gct it o¡c:, sto:ucc out oi t|c t|cat:c.
la:l, :cxt uo::i:g t|c:c was a tclc¡|o:c call i:ou t|c t|cat:c ci:ccto:`s scc:cta:,. ·|c tolc uc
t|at ii l was :ot ¡:csc:t at t|c ca,`s :c|ca:sal, u, co:t:act woulc |c ca:ccllcc.
\, a:gc: |ac coolcc, |ut :ow it gat|c:cc uouc:tuu agai: a:c l to:c cow: to t|c t|cat:c to
|ill lauua:c:. Wc uct u:cx¡cctccl, i: a: a:glc oi t|c co::ico:, litc:all, |uu¡i:g i:to cac|
ot|c:. Wc |ot| iou:c t|is cxt:cucl, couical a:c sta:tcc to laug|. Io:stc: cu|:accc uc a:c l at
o:cc a¡¡oi:tcc |iu i: u, |ca:t t|c iat|c:iigu:c l |ac lac|cc si:cc Goc |ac a|a:co:cc uc. lc
too| o: t|c :olc a:c ¡la,cc it co:scic:tiousl, cu:i:g t|c ,ca:s l sta,cc i: |is t|cat:c.
la| \u:|`s t.·e sta:ts wit| a cocoa ¡a:t,.
I|c ¡asto: |as i:vitcc |is ¡a:is|io:c:s |ac| |ouc to ciscuss |ow to |uilc cu|a:|uc:ts agai:st
t|c sca. Iwc:t,t|:cc acto:s a:c sitti:g o: t|c stagc c:i:|i:g |ot c|ocolatc, souc wit| a icw li:cs,
ot|c:s |ust sitti:g. lauua:c: |ac gooc acto:s io: all t|c ¡a:ts, cvc: t|osc wit| :ot|i:g to sa,. lis
i:st:uctio:s wc:c uu:cc:ousl, cctailcc a:c a t:ial to o:c`s ¡atic:cc..W|c: lol||o:: sa,s |is li:c
a|out t|c wi:tc: wcat|c:, |c ta|cs a ca|c, t|c: sti:s |is c|ocolatc. :ow ¡lcasc :c|ca:sc t|at.
lol||o:: ¡:actiscs. I|c ci:ccto: c|a:gcs it. Wa:ca sc:vcs c|ocolatc i:ou t|c lcit|a:c |ug a:c
suilcs |i:cl, at lc:|tA|c as s|c sa,s. You cc:tai:l, :ccc it.` ·a::, o: :ow:` I|c acto:s :c|ca:sc
it. I|c ci:ccto: co::ccts t|cu.
l t|i:| iu¡atic:tl, t|at t|c ci:ccto: is a g:avcciggc:. I|is is t|c ccca, oi t|c t|cat:c.
lauua:c: gocs o: u:uovcc.
Io:c st:ctc|cs out io: a |u: a:c s|a|cs |c: |cac at l||a. I|c, |avc saic souct|i:g to cac|
ot|c: w|ic| wc |avc:`t caug|t. llcasc ii:c souc a¡¡:o¡:iatc su||cct oi co:vc:satio:. l||a a:c
Io:c ua|c suggcstio:s. lauua:c: a¡¡:ovcs. I|c, :c|ca:sc.
l t|i:|. I|is guuuccu¡ olc cictato: |as ua:agcc to squcczc all c:|o,uc:t a:c s¡o:ta:cit, out
oi t|c scc:c a:c |as |illcc it sto:c ccac. l uig|t as wcll lcavc t|c c|u:c|,a:c. lo: souc :caso: l
sta, o:, ¡c:|a¡s i:ou s¡itciul cu:iosit,. lauscs a:c ua:|cc o: cliui:atcc, uovcuc:ts wcig|cc u¡
agai:st to:c oi voicc a:c to:c oi voicc agai:st uovcuc:ts, |:cat|i:g is iixcc. l ,aw: li|c a
ualicious cat. Aitc: c:clcss |ou:s oi :c¡cats, i:tc::u¡tio:s, co::cctio:s, ¡us|i:g a:c s|ovi:g,
lauua:c: co:sicc:s t|c tiuc is :i¡c to ¡la, t|c scc:c i:ou sta:t to ii:is|.
I|c: t|c ui:aclc occu::cc.
A: cas,, :claxcc a:c auusi:g co:vc:satio: |:o|c out, wit| all t|c social gcstu:cs, loo|s, |iccc:
uca:i:gs a:c co:sciousl, u:co:scious |c|aviou: oi a cocoa ¡a:t,. I|c acto:s, sccu:c i: t|ci:
t|o:oug|l, :c|ca:scc tc::ito:ics, iclt a i:cccou to c:catc t|c c|a:actc:s. I|c, ia:tasizcc
u:cx¡cctccl, a:c |uuo:ousl,. I|c, wc:c :ot coi:g cow: t|ci: icllow¡la,c:s, |ut :cs¡ccti:g t|c
w|olc, t|c :|,t|u.
\, ii:st lcsso: was lauua:c:`s i:tc:vc:tio: i: co!.¸o!o.
·tagi:g uust |c clca: a:c ci:cctcc. lazi:css i: cuotio:s a:c i:tc:tio:s uust |c cliui:atcc.
·ig:als i:ou all acto:s to t|c aucic:cc uust |c siu¡lc a:c lucic. Alwa,s o:c at a tiuc, ¡:cic:a|l,
:a¡ic, o:c suggcstio: ua, co:t:acict t|c :cxt |ut .-·e-·..-o!!,, t|c: a: illusio: oi siuulta:cous:css
a:c cc¡t|ciicct a:iscs, a stc:cociicct. lvc:ts o: t|c stagc uust :cac| t|c s¡cctato: at cvc:,
uouc:t, t:ut| i: t|c cx¡:cssio: coui:g scco:c, gooc acto:s alwa,s |avc :csou:ccs to act as
i:tc:uccia:ics io: t|c :cilcctcc t:ut|.
\, scco:c lcsso: was t|c cocoa ¡a:t, i: la| \u:|`s t.·e.
I:uc i:cccou is cc¡c:cc:t o: uutuall, c:aw: ¡attc::s, t|o:oug|l, ¡c:ct:atcc :|,t|us. Acti:g
is also t|c act oi :c¡ctitio:. ·o cvc:, co:t:i|utio: uust |c |ascc o: volu:ta:, coo¡c:atio:
|ctwcc: t|c ¡a:tics co:cc::cc. li a ci:ccto: io:ccs a: acto:, |c ca: gct |is ow: wa, cu:i:g
:c|ca:sals. W|c: t|c ci:ccto: lcavcs t|c acti:g s¡acc, t|c acto: co:sciousl, o: u:co:sciousl, sta:ts
co::ccti:g |is activitics acco:ci:g to |is ow: lig|ts. lis icllow ¡la,c: at o:cc c|a:gcs io: t|c sauc
:caso:. A:c so o:. Aitc: iivc ¡c:io:ua:ccs, a taucc` ¡c:io:ua:cc |as iallc: a¡a:t, u:lcss t|c
ci:ccto: co:ti:ucs to watc| closcl, ovc: |is tigc:s. ·: a su:iacc lcvcl, lauuc:c:`s cocoa ¡a:t,
a¡¡ca:cc to |c a taucc` :uu|c:. lut t|at was :ot t|c casc. I|c acto:s saw t|ci: o¡¡o:tu:itics
o:l, wit|i: clca:l, c:aw: liuits. I|c, wc:c ¡lcascc a:c waitcc io: t|c uouc:t w|c: t|c, coulc
i:sc:t t|ci: ow: c:cativit,. I|c cocoa ¡a:t, :cvc: icll a¡a:t.
·:c ca, l caug|t Io:stc: lauua:c: loo|i:g t|:oug| u, ¡:ocucc:`s :otc|oo|. I|c:c was :ot
a si:glc :otc o: s|ctc| oi a sct i: it. ·o ,ou co:`t c:aw ,ou: scc:cs,` |c saic sa:casticall,. ·:o, l
¡:cic: to c:catc ci:cctl, o: t|c stagc togct|c: wit| t|c acto:s,` l saic. lt`ll |c i:tc:csti:g to scc
|ow lo:g ,ou: :c:vcs ca: ta|c t|at,` saic lauua:c:, slauui:g t|c |oo| s|ut.
lc was soo: ¡:ovcc :ig|t. :ow l ua|c u, ¡:c¡a:atio:s cow: to t|c vc:, last cctail a:c io:cc
u,scli to c:aw cvc:, si:glc scc:c. W|c: l sta:t :c|ca:si:g, cvc:, uouc:t oi u, ¡c:io:ua:cc is
:cac,. \, i:st:uctio:s a:c clca:, ¡:actica|lc a:c ¡:cic:a|l, stiuulati:g. ·:l, |c w|o is wcll
¡:c¡a:cc |as a:, o¡¡o:tu:it, to iu¡:ovisc.
\, iauil, |ac cx¡a:ccc. l: t|c s¡:i:g oi 1-+·, t|c twi:s wc:c |o:: a:c wc uovcc i:to a iivc
:oou a¡a:tuc:t i: a :cw a:ca outsicc Got|c:|u:g. l also |ac a ·¡a:ta: littlc :oou :ig|t at t|c to¡
oi t|c t|cat:c a:c s¡c:t t|c cvc:i:gs t|c:c cciti:g sc:i¡ts, w:iti:g ¡la,s a:c iilus.
lllc:`s stc¡iat|c: |illcc |iuscli, lcavi:g la:gc cc|ts. \, uot|c:i:law a:c |c: suall so:
uovcc i: wit| us. I|c, scttlcc i: u, stuc, :cxt to lllc:`s a:c u, |cc:oou. :cwl, wicowcc,
lllc:`s uot|c: oitc: c:icc at :ig|t a:c, i: accitio: to t|at, lc:a, u, clcc: caug|tc:, livcc wit| us
|ccausc llsc was still aili:g. I|c iauil, was cou¡lctcc |, a |i:cl, |ut gloou, ¡c:so: w|o was to
|cl¡ i: t|c |ousc|olc. Wc wc:c tc: ¡co¡lc i: all. lllc: |ac so uuc| to co, s|c coulc o:l,
occasio:all, ccvotc tiuc to |c: ¡:oicssio:. \a:ital cou¡licatio:s |ccauc uo:c a:c uo:c i:icctcc
|, all t|is. ·u: scx liic, w|ic| |ac |cc: ou: cclivc:a:cc, ccascc |ccausc oi t|c ¡:oxiuit, oi u,
uot|c:i:law a:c |c: littlc so: t|:oug| t|c t|i: wall.
l was t|i:t, a:c |ac |cc: |ic|cc out oi ·vc:s| lilui:cust:i aitc: t|c iiasco oi c..·.·. \,
coucstic ii:a:ccs wc:c st:ctc|cc. Acccc to ou: ot|c: t:ou|lcs wc:c |ittc: qua::cls a|out uo:c,.
lot| lllc: a:c l wc:c ca:clcss a:c cxt:avaga:t.
\, iou:t| iilu |ccauc a uoccst succcss, t|a:|s to lo:c:s \a:ustcct`s wiscou, t|oug|tiul:css
a:c ¡atic:cc. lc was a gc:ui:c ¡:ocucc:, w|o ioug|t a:c livcc io: |is iilus i:ou sc:i¡t to :clcasc.
lt was |c w|o taug|t uc |ow to ua|c iilus. l sta:tcc couuuti:g |ctwcc: Got|c:|u:g a:c
·toc||olu a:c :c:tcc a :oou i: \iss :,la:cc:`s |oa:ci:g |ousc o: t|c co::c: oi l:a|cgata: a:c
luulcga:csgata:. \iss :,la:cc: was a: a:istoc:atic olc lac,, a ti:, littlc c:catu:c wit| gloss,
w|itc |ai: a:c ca:| c,cs, vc:, ¡alc a:c wcll uaccu¡. A g:cat ua:, acto:s livcc i: |c: |oa:ci:g
|ousc a:c wc:c uatc::all, loo|cc aitc:. l |ac a su::, :oou iaci:g t|c cou:t,a:c, u, :ciugc a:c
sccu:it,. \iss :,la:cc: |c:cvolc:tl, closcc |c: c,cs to t|c i::cgula:itics oi liic a:c ii:a:ccs w|ic|
oitc: aiilictcc t|c t:ou|lcc i:|a|ita:ts oi |c: csta|lis|uc:t.
l was :ot |a¡¡, i: Got|c:|u:g. I|c cit, was i: ua:, wa,s cut oii, t|c t|cat:c a liuitcc wo:lc
i: w|ic| :o o:c tal|cc a|out a:,t|i:g cxcc¡t t|c ¡:oicssio:. louc scct|cc wit| c:,i:g c|ilc:c:,
cau¡ was|i:g, wcc¡i:g wouc: a:c :agi:g scc:cs oi |calous,, oitc: ¡c:icctl, |ustiiicc. All csca¡c
:outcs wc:c closcc a:c |ct:a,al |ccauc o|ligato:,.
lllc: |:cw l was a lia:. lc: ccs¡ai: was co::osivc. ·|c |cggcc uc to tcll t|c t:ut| |ust o:cc,
|ut l was i:ca¡a|lc oi coi:g so a:c :o lo:gc: |:cw w|c:c t|c t:ut| la,. lo: |:ici uouc:ts
|ctwcc: |attlcs, wc iclt a ¡:oiou:c icllows|i¡, t|c s,u¡at|, a:c io:givc:css oi t|c |oc,.
lllc: was actuall, a gooc a:c st:o:g i:ic:c. l: ciiic:c:t, lcss ci:c, ci:cuusta:ccs, wc woulc
cc:tai:l, |avc c:|o,cc livi:g togct|c:, |ut wc |:cw :ot|i:g a|out ou:sclvcs a:c t|oug|t liic was
su¡¡oscc to |c as it was. Wc :cvc: cou¡lai:cc a|out ou: ci:cuusta:ccs o: cx¡:csscc :cg:ct ovc:
ou: co:citio:. Wc wc:c iig|ti:g c|ai:cc togct|c: a:c wc:c, c:ow:i:g.
Io:stc: lauua:c: gavc uc t|c c|a:cc oi ¡utti:g o: two oi u, ow: ¡la,s i: t|c ·tucio, a
|:avc a:c :ot c:ti:cl, u:cou¡licatcc cccisio:. ·ouc oi u, ot|c: ¡la,s |ac al:cac, |cc: stagcc a:c
c:itics |ac |cc: ¡:ctt, wcll i: ag:ccuc:t. lc:gua: is a gooc, cvc: talc:tcc ¡:ocucc:, |ut |c is a
|ac w:itc:. l, |ac, t|c, uca:t ¡:ctc:tious, iuuatu:c, s¡ott,, swcat,, sc:tiuc:tal, sill,,
:iciculous, w:ctc|cc, |uuou:lcss, a:c u:¡lcasa:t a:c so o:.
·loi lagc:c:a:tz, w|o |ac |cc: uuc| acui:cc |, uc, sta:tcc ¡c:sccuti:g uc. W|c: |c ii:all,
|ccauc t|c cultu:al gu:u oi t|c :cws¡a¡c: Ðo¸e-· :,|e·e., |is attac|s too| o: g:otcsquc
¡:o¡o:tio:s. A|out :¬.!e· .¡ o :o¬¬e. :.¸|·, |c w:otc i: 1-... I|c ¡oo: iuagi:atio: oi a s¡ott,
,out|, t|c i:solc:t c:caus oi a: iuuatu:c |ca:t a:c a |ou:clcss co:tcu¡t io: a:tistic a:c |uua:
t:ut| a:c t|c io:ccs w|ic| |avc c:catcc t|is ªcoucc,¨. l au as|aucc to |avc scc: it.`
Ioca, t|is is a couic cu:iosit,. At t|c tiuc, it was a ¡oiso:cc ¡ill t|at causcc uuc| cauagc a:c
suiic:i:g.
Io:stc: lauua:c:, a |:avc a:c auusi:g ua:, was ¡c:sccutcc io: scvc:al ,ca:s |, o:c
Got|c:|u:g c:itic. W|c: |c |ac ¡ut o: a uuc| a¡¡:cciatcc a:c auusi:g ¡c:io:ua:cc oi i..|.-, |c
saw |is c|a:cc. l: t|c i:tc:val w|c: t|c aucic:cc, cx|austcc |, laug|tc:, was o: its wa, out i:to
t|c io,c:, lauua:c: a¡¡ca:cc i: i:o:t oi t|c cu:tai: a:c as|cc io: a icw uouc:ts` attc:tio:.
I|c: slowl,, wit| u:cx¡cctcc ¡auscs io: t|oug|t a:c suita|lc iacial cx¡:cssio:s, |c :cac out t|c
scat|i:g :cvicw. lc was :cwa:ccc wit| cx¡:cssio:s oi t:cuc:cous s,u¡at|,. I|c o¡c:
¡c:sccutio: ccascc, to |c :c¡laccc |, a uo:c so¡|isticatcc |i:c. I|c oiic:ccc c:itic ¡:occcccc to
¡:oia:c lauua:c:`s act:css wiic a:c |is closcst i:ic:cs i: t|c t|cat:c.
Ioca, l ta|c a ¡olitc aluost iaw:i:g attitucc to u, |ucgcs. l o:cc vc:, :ca:l, |it o:c oi t|c
uost cauagi:g c:itics. lcio:c l |ac |ac tiuc to st:i|c, |c sat cow: o: t|c iloo: auo:g a :uu|c: oi
uusic sta:cs. l was ii:cc .000 |:o:o:, |ut co:sicc:cc it wo:t| t|c uo:c,, as l t|oug|t t|c
:cws¡a¡c: woulc :cvc: agai: allow |iu to :cvicw u, ¡:ocuctio:s. l was w:o:g oi cou:sc. lc was
a|sc:t io: a icw ,ca:s, a:c is :ow |ac| s¡:caci:g |is stultii,i:g |ilc ovc: t|c ciio:ts oi u, olc agc.
lc cvc: t:avcllcc to \u:ic| i: o:cc: to iuliil |is cxccutio:c:`s tas|. l saw |iu o:c s¡:i:g
cvc:i:g i: \axiuilia: st:assc, cxt:cucl, c:u:|, i: a t|i: tccs|i:t a:c ¡ai: oi ia: too tig|t vclvct
t:ousc:s. lis s|avc: |cac was :olli:g a|out cisco:solatcl, a:c |c was t:,i:g to ua|c co:tact wit|
¡assc:s|,, |ut was sco::iull, :c|cctcc. lc was clca:l, colc a:c ill.
·: a uouc:ta:, iu¡ulsc, l t|oug|t oi goi:g ovc: to t|c ¡oo: ua: a:c s|a|i:g |iu |, t|c |a:c.
Aitc: all t|csc ,ca:s, su:cl, wc ca: |c :cco:cilcc· Wc`:c quits :ow, a:c:`t wc· W|, s|oulc wc go
o: |ati:g cac| ot|c: so lo:g aitc: all t|at u¡:oa:· l at o:cc :cg:cttcc t|c iu¡ulsc. I|c:c gocs a
Dcacl, l:cu,. lc s|oulc |c ccst:o,cc. I:uc, |c was ccst:o,i:g |iuscli t|:oug| |is cctc:io:ati:g
w:iti:g, |ut l s|all ca:cc o: |is g:avc a:c wis| |iu ua:, ctc::itics i: |cll, w|c:c |c ca: sit a:c
:cac |is ow: :cvicws.
As liic co:sists oi :ot|i:g |ut co:t:acictio:s, l s|oulc at o:cc acc t|at lc:|c:t G:cvc:ius,
a:ot|c: t|cat:c c:itic, is o:c oi u, cca:cst i:ic:cs. Wc ucct :ca:l, cvc:, ca, at t|c ko,al
D:auatic I|cat:c. At t|c tiuc oi w:iti:g, |c is cig|t,six ,ca:s olc a:c alwa,s cquall, auia|l,
uoc|i:g, suo|i:g o:c oi |is cail, iiit, ciga:cttcs.
W|c: l was g:cc: a:c u:io:ucc, Io:stc: lauua:c: a:c lc:|c:t G:cvc:ius stooc li|c two
stc:: a:c i:co::u¡ti|lc a:gcls. l lca::t u, c:ait i:ou lauua:c: a:c a cc:tai: o:cc:li:css oi
t|oug|t i:ou G:cvc:ius. I|c, ¡i:c|cc uc, |:caccc uc a:c ¡ut uc :ig|t.
lac :cvicws a:c ot|c: ¡u|lic |uuiliatio:s to:uc:tcc uc out oi all ¡:o¡o:tio:. G:cvc:ius o:cc
saic to uc. luagi:c a c|al| li:c. You`:c o: o:c sicc oi t|c li:c, ,ou: c:itics o: t|c ot|c:. lot| oi
,ou ¡c:io:u t:ic|s io: t|c ¡u|lic.` I|at |cl¡cc. l was wo:|i:g o: a ¡:ocuctio: wit| a: alco|olic
|ut |:illia:t acto:. lauua:c: |lcw |is :osc a:c saic. Io t|i:| t|at lilics so oitc: g:ow out oi t|c
a:scs oi co:¡scs.` G:cvc:ius saw o:c oi u, ca:lic: iilus a:c cou¡lai:cc t|at it |ac a |olc i: t|c
uicclc. l ccic:ccc u,scli |, sa,i:g t|c acto: was su¡¡oscc to :c¡:csc:t a uccioc:it,. G:cvc:ius
saic. A uccioc:it, uust :cvc: |c ¡la,cc |, a uccioc:it,, a vulga: woua: :cvc: |, a vulga:
woua:, a co:ccitcc ¡:iuaco::a :cvc: |, a co:ccitcc ¡:iu Do::a.` lauua:c: saic. Acto:s a:c
t|c ccvil. As soo: as t|c,`vc c:u:| a iacc o: to t|cusclvcs, t|c, losc t|ci: ucuo:ics.`

1!
l |ac :cvc: |cc: a|:oac cxcc¡t io: t|osc six wcc|s i: Gc:ua:,. :cit|c: |ac li:gc: \alustc:,
u, i:ic:c a:c cou¡a:io: i: iilu wo:|. :ow it was goi:g to |a¡¡c:. Wc scttlcc i: ·ag:cssu:
\c:, a suall tow: tuc|cc awa, |ig| i: t|c uou:tai:s |ctwcc: ·a::cs a:c :icc, at t|at tiuc
u:|:ow: to tou:ists |ut visitcc :cgula:l, |, ¡ai:tc:s a:c ot|c: a:tists. lllc: |ac a: c:gagcuc:t as
c|o:cog:a¡|c: at t|c lisc|c:g I|cat:c i: Got|c:|u:g, |c: uot|c: was loo|i:g aitc: t|c c|ilc:c:,
a:c all was iai:l, calu. ·u: ii:a:ccs |ac tcu¡o:a:il, iu¡:ovcc, as l |ac |ust ii:is|cc a iilu a:c |ac
a co:t:act io: a:ot|c: cu:i:g t|c latc suuuc:. l a::ivcc i: ·ag:cs at t|c c:c oi A¡:il a:c was givc:
a su::, :oou wit| a :cc tilcc iloo:. I|c:c was a vicw ovc: iiclcs oi ca::atio:s i: t|c vallc,,
towa:cs t|c sca, w|ic| was occasio:all, t|c colou: oi wi:c, as louc: sa,s.
li:gc: \alustc: was iuucciatcl, go||lcc u¡ |, a |cautiiul |ut co:suu¡tivc l:glis|woua:,
w|o w:otc ¡oct:, a:c livcc a :at|c: |cctic liic. l was lcit to u, ow: ccviccs a:c sat o: t|c tc::acc
w:iti:g t|c iilu wc wc:c to sta:t ua|i:g i: August. Dccisio:ua|i:g a:c ¡:c¡a:atio: tiucs wc:c
|:ici i: t|osc ca,s. I|c:c was :cvc: tiuc to |c :call, i:ig|tc:cc, a: i:valua|lc acva:tagc. I|c iilu,
c:titlcc Io j.,, was to |c a|out a cou¡lc oi ,ou:g uusicia:s i: t|c s,u¡|o:, o:c|cst:a i:
lclsi:g|o:g, t|c cisguisc aluost a io:ualit,. lt was a|out lllc: a:c uc, a|out t|c co:citio:s
iu¡oscc |, a:t, a|out iicclit, a:c i:iicclit,. \usic woulc st:cau :ig|t t|:oug| t|c iilu.
l was lcit cou¡lctcl, alo:c, s¡ca|i:g to :o o:c a:c uccti:g :o o:c. l got c:u:| cvc:, :ig|t
a:c was |cl¡cc to |cc |, !o ¡o·..--e, a uot|c:l, woua: w|o wo::icc a|out u, alco|olic |a|its.
lvc:, uo::i:g, |owcvc:, at :i:c o`cloc|, l was sitti:g at u, wo:|ta|lc, allowi:g u, |a:govc: to
|cl¡ i:tc:sii, u, c:cativit,.
lllc: a:c l sta:tcc w:iti:g ca:ciul |ut tc:cc:|ca:tcc lcttc:s. u:cc: t|c i:iluc:cc oi a caw:i:g
|o¡c oi a ¡ossi|lc iutu:c io: ou: to:uc:tcc ua::iagc, t|c ¡o:t:a,al oi t|c iilu`s lcaci:g icualc
c|a:actc: tu::cc i:to a ui:aclc oi |caut,, iait|iul:css, wiscou a:c |uua: cig:it,. I|c ualc ¡a:t,
o: t|c ot|c: |a:c, |ccauc a co:ccitcc uccioc:it,, iait|lcss, |ou|astic a:c a lia:.
l was |ci:g cou:tcc, s|,l, |ut i:tc:sivcl,, |, a kussia:Auc:ica: ¡ai:tc:. ·|c was at|lctic |ut
wcll¡:o¡o:tio:cc, ca:| as :ig|t wit| |:ig|t c,cs a:c a gc:c:ous uout|, a statucsquc Auazo:
:aciati:g u:i:|i|itcc sc:sualit,. \, iicclit, to u, ua::iagc stiuulatcc us |ot|. ·|c ¡ai:tcc a:c l
w:otc, two lo:c:s i: u:cx¡cctcc c:cativc icllows|i¡.
I|c c:c oi t|c iilu |ccauc tc::i|l, t:agic. I|c icualc c|a:actc: was |low: u¡ |, a ¡a:aiii:
stovc ;¡ossi|l, scc:ct wis|iul t|i:|i:g,, t|c last uovcuc:t oi lcct|ovc:`s :i:t| ·,u¡|o:, was
s|auclcssl, cx¡loitcc a:c t|c uai: c|a:actc: :calizcc t|at t|c:c was a |o, g:catc: t|a: |o,`. ;A
t:ut| l cic :ot u:cc:sta:c u:til t|i:t, ,ca:s latc:.,
l cxt:actcc li:gc: \alustc: i:ou t|c la¡ oi Vc:us, too| a tca:iul ia:cwcll oi !o ¡o·..--e a:c
:ctu::cc |ouc. Aitc: souc |csitatio: t|c sc:cc:¡la, was accc¡tcc.
\, :cu:io: wit| lllc: was |u::icc a:c :ot c:ti:cl, succcssiul. l was tc::i|l, |calous, |ccausc l
|ac ciscovc:cc u, wiic was uixi:g wit| a lcs|ia: a:tist, |ut wc wc:c :cco:cilcc to souc cxtc:t. l
wc:t to ·toc||olu. lilui:g |cga:, u, cou¡a:io: li:gc: \alustc: a:c ·tig ·li: ¡la,i:g two
wiu¡s oi uc:. \a|l:itt :ilsso: succccccc i: ua|i:g t|c ccs¡c:atcl, iccalizcc wiic aluost
|clicva|lc, w|ic| was as gooc cvicc:cc as a:, oi |c: |:illia:cc.
I|c cxtc:io:s wc:c iilucc o: locatio: i: lclsi:g|o:g. ·:c ca, at t|c |cgi::i:g oi August, wc
iilucc t|c cou¡lc`s ua::iagc at t|c Iow: lall. lllc: a:c l |ac |cc: ua::icc t|c:c a icw ,ca:s
|cio:c. ¡ou::alists i:ou a wcc|l, uagazi:c callcc t.!¬¡.o.-o.e- cauc to scc us, to co a icatu:c
a:ticlc. I|c uagazi:c`s c|a:ui:g c|ici ccito:, Gu:illa lolgc:, |ac co:c us t|is |o:ou:. ·|c
|:oug|t wit| |c: a collcaguc callcc Gu: lag|c:g. I|c ua:agcuc:t, i: t|c ¡c:so: oi u,scli,
:calizi:g its o|ligatio:s a:c also violc:tl, att:actcc to t|c c|ici ccito:, sc:a¡cc t|c |a::cl oi t|c
iilu`s i:sig:iiica:t cx¡c:sc accou:t a:c i:vitcc t|cu to ci::c: at t|c G:a:c.
Aitc: ci::c:, Gu: a:c l wc:t io: a wal| |csicc t|c ·ou:c. lt was a wa:u a:c wi:clcss :ig|t.
Wc |isscc wit| cclig|t, a:c ag:ccc, :at|c: a|sc:tui:cccl,, to ucct w|c: t|c iilui:g :ctu::cc to
·toc||olu. t.!¬¡.o.-o!e- lcit a:c l io:got t|c w|olc t|i:g.
l :ctu::cc |ouc i: t|c uicclc oi August. Gu: ¡|o:cc a:c suggcstcc wc s|oulc |avc ci::c:
togct|c: at t|c ·attcli: a:c go to t|c ci:cua. Wit| a sta| oi ¡a:ic, l t|a:|cc |c: a:c accc¡tcc wit|
all u, |ca:t.
I|c: cvc:,t|i:g wc:t vc:, quic|l,. I|c iollowi:g wcc|c:c Gu: a:c l wc:t to I:osa, |oo|cc
i: at a |otcl, wc:t to |cc a:c sta,cc t|c:c u:til \o:ca, uo::i:g. l, t|c: wc |ac ccciccc to :u:
awa, to la:is, sc¡a:atcl,, |ut scc:ctl, togct|c:. \, i:ic:c Vilgot ·|oua: was t|c:c o: a g:a:t. lis
ii:st :ovcl was to |c iilucc |, Gustai \ola:cc: a:c scvc:al sc:i¡ts |ac |cc: :c|cctcc. I|c |oa:c oi
·l o:cc:cc uc, as a last :cso:t, to c:o¡ t|c ii:al wo:| o: u, |ustcou¡lctcc iilu a:c go at o:cc to
la:is a:c t|c u::ul, Vilgot. Gu: woulc covc: ias|io: s|ows io: souc wcc|l, uagazi:c. ·|c
c:t:ustcc |c: two suall so:s to t|ci: li::is| :u:sc`s cou¡ctc:t ca:c. lc: |us|a:c |ac |cc: o: t|c
iauil, :u||c: ¡la:tatio: i: ·out|last Asia io: six uo:t|s.
l wc:t to Got|c:|u:g to tal| to u, wiic. lt was latc i: t|c cvc:i:g a:c lllc: |ac al:cac, go:c
to |cc. ·|c was ¡lcascc at u, u:cx¡cctcc visit. l sat o: t|c ccgc oi t|c |cc wit|out ta|i:g oii u,
:ai:coat a:c tolc |c: cvc:,t|i:g.
A:,o:c i:tc:cstcc ca: iollow t|c cvc:ts i: t|c t|i:c ¡a:t oi :.e-e· ¡..¬ o Mo...o¸e. I|c o:l,
ciiic:c:cc is t|c cc¡ictio: oi laula, t|c lovc:. Gu: was uo:c li|c |c: o¡¡ositc. ·|c |ac alwa,s
|cc: a: Ai gi:l, |cautiiul, tall, at|lctic, wit| i:tc:scl, |luc c,cs, a la:gc laug|, lovcl, iull li¡s,
o¡c::css, ¡:icc, i:tcg:it,, woua:l, st:c:gt|, |ut a slcc¡wal|c:.
·|c |:cw :ot|i:g a|out |c:scli, was:`t i:tc:cstcc, |ac iaccc |c: liic o¡c:l, wit| :o ccic:ccs o:
su|sicia:, i:tc:tio:s, t:ut|iull, a:c u:ai:aic. ·|c ig:o:cc t|c stouac| ulcc: w|ic| ¡c:iocicall,
ila:cc u¡, siu¡l, sto¡¡cc c:i:|i:g coiicc io: a icw ca,s a:c too| uccici:c, t|c: it soo: iu¡:ovcc.
·|c cic:`t ui:c |c: ¡oo: :clatio:s|i¡ wit| |c: |us|a:c, all ua::iagcs |ccouc cull soo:c: o: latc:
a:c a littlc salvc :cscucs scx liic. :o: cic s|c :cilcct o: |c: :ccu::i:g a:xict, c:caus, ¡c:|a¡s s|c
|ac catc: souct|i:g t|at cic:`t ag:cc wit| |c: o: c:u:| too uuc|. liic was uattc: oi iact a:c
uag:iiicc:t. ·|c was i::csisti|lc.
·u: lovc to:c ou: |ca:ts a¡a:t a:c i:ou t|c vc:, |cgi::i:g ca::icc its ow: scccs oi ccst:uctio:.
Wc lcit o: l ·c¡tcu|c: 1-+-, ca:l, i: t|c uo::i:g, a:c wc:c i: la:is |, uicca,. Wc |oo|cc i:
at a :c¡uta|lc iauil, |otcl o: :uc ·tcA::c, a :a::ow tu::i:g oii Avc:uc cc l`·¡c:a. I|c :oou
was :ccta:gula: li|c a coiii:, t|c |ccs :ot alo:gsicc cac| ot|c: |ut i: si:glc iilc, t|c wi:cow iaci:g
out o: to a c:au¡cc cou:t,a:c. li o:c lca:t out, o:c coulc scc a ¡atc| oi t|c w|itc|ot suuuc: s|,
six iloo:s u¡. I|c ai: i: t|c cou:t,a:c was uust,, colc a:c cau¡, t|c:c wc:c souc wi:cows i: t|c
as¡|alt to lct lig|t i:to t|c |otcl |itc|c:, w|c:c o:c coulc scc :uuc:ous w|itcclac ¡co¡lc uovi:g
a|out li|c uaggots, out oi t|is c|asu :osc t|c stc:c| oi :ciusc a:c coo|i:g suclls. lo: iu:t|c:
cctails, ¡lcasc :cic: to t|c lovc:s` :oou i: 1|e :.!e-.e.
lx|austcc a:c a¡¡allcc, wc sat o: ou: |ccs, l at o:cc :calizi:g t|is was Goc`s ¡u:is|uc:t io:
u, ultiuatc |ct:a,al. lllc:`s cclig|t at u, u:cx¡cctcc |ouccoui:g, |c: suilc t|at uc:cilcssl,
clca: ¡ictu:c |c¡t a¡¡ca:i:g. lt was to :ctu:: agai: a:c agai:, a:c still cocs.
I|c :cxt uo::i:g Gu: s¡o|c i: l:c:c| to t|c all¡owc:iul |otcl ¡o:tc:. A 10,000 i:a:c :otc
c|a:gcc |a:cs ;a t|ousa:c i:a:cs was t|c: 10 |:o:o:, a:c wc uovcc i:to a couio:ta|lc :oou
iaci:g t|c st:cct, wit| a |at|:oou as la:gc as a c|u:c|, colou:cc wi:cows, |cati:g ¡i¡cs i: t|c iloo:
a:c |ugc |a:c |asi:s. At t|c sauc tiuc, l :c:tcc a ti:, |ovcl u:cc: t|c :ooi wit| a :ic|ct, ccs|, a
squca|, |cc, a |icct, a:c a |a:csouc ¡a:o:aua ovc: t|c :oois oi la:is wit| t|c liiicl Iowc: i: t|c
|ac|g:ou:c.
Wc sta,cc i: la:is io: t|:cc uo:t|s. l: cvc:, wa,, it was a c:ucial tiuc i: |ot| ou: livcs.
l |ac u, t|i:t,ii:st |i:t|ca, cu:i:g t|at suuuc: oi 1-+-. lit|c:to l |ac wo:|cc |a:c a:c
:clc:tlcssl, i: u, ¡:oicssio:. ·o coui:g to t|is autuu: wa:u la:is was a: cx¡c:ic:cc w|ic| |ac
t|c ciicct oi |:oc|i:g cow: |a::ic:s. lovc |ac |ot| tiuc a:c o¡¡o:tu:it, to g:ow i:ccl,, o¡c:i:g
closcc :oous a:c |:oc|i:g cow: walls. l coulc |:cat|c. \, t:cac|c:, to lllc: a:c t|c c|ilc:c:
cxistcc soucw|c:c i: a uist, cvc:¡:csc:t |ut st:a:gcl, stiuulati:g. lo: a icw uo:t|s, t|c:c livcc
a:c |:cat|cc a |olc ¡:ocuctio: t|at was i:co::u¡ti|l, t:uc, so t|c:cio:c ¡:icclcss, alt|oug| it
tu::cc out to |c |o::i|l, cx¡c:sivc w|c: t|c |ill cauc.
lcttc:s i:ou |ouc wc:c :ot c:cou:agi:g. lllc: w:otc to sa, t|at t|c c|ilc:c: wc:c ill a:c s|c
|c:scli |ac cczcua o: |c: |a:cs a:c icct a:c s|c was losi:g |c: |ai:. ·: u, cc¡a:tu:c, l |ac givc:
|c: w|at at t|at tiuc was a vc:, la:gc suu oi uo:c,. ·|c cou¡lai:cc t|at it |ac aluost all go:c.
Gu:`s |us|a:c |ac |u::iccl, :ctu::cc to ·toc||olu a:c |is iauil, sc:t a law,c:, w|o was :ow
t|:catc:i:g a lawsuit, a iauil, io:tu:c was ¡a:tl, i: Gu:`s :auc.
Wc lct aluost :ot|i:g cistu:| us. A ilow oi :ic| iu¡:cssio:s a:c cx¡c:ic:ccs was ilooci:g ovc:
ou: |cacs.
G:catcst oi all was ciscovc:i:g \olic:c. l |ac ¡locccc t|:oug| souc oi |is ¡la,s i: |isto:, oi
litc:atu:c scui:a:s, |ut |ac u:cc:stooc :ot|i:g a:c co:sicc:cc |iu uust, a:c u:cxciti:g.
·o :ow t|c villagc gc:ius i:ou ·wccc: was sitti:g at t|c ·ouccic l:a:c|isc watc|i:g 1|e
M.·o-·|..¡e i: a ,out|iul, |cautiiul a:c cuotio:al ¡c:io:ua:cc. I|c cx¡c:ic:cc was i:ccsc:i|a|lc.
I|c c:, alcxa:c:i:cs |lossoucc a:c t|:ivcc. I|c ¡co¡lc o: t|c stagc stc¡¡cc t|:oug| u, sc:scs
i:to u, |ca:t. I|at was w|at it was li|c. l |:ow it sou:cs :iciculous, |ut t|at`s w|at it was li|c.
\olic:c stc¡¡cc i:to u, |ca:t to :cuai: t|c:c io: t|c :cst oi u, liic. I|c s¡i:itual ci:culatio: oi
u, |looc, ¡:cviousl, li:|cc to ·t:i:c|c:g, :ow o¡c:cc a: a:tc:, to \olic:c.
·:c ·u:ca, aitc::oo: wc wc:t to t|c ·cco:, t|c a::cxc oi t|c ·ouccic l:a:c|isc, w|c:c
t|c, wc:c ¡la,i:g t+.!e·.e--e, wit| lizct`s uusic. I|c o¡c:ctta is a l:c:c| cquivalc:t oi
¡1.¬!o--.-¸o.-o ;I|c Va:ula:cc:s,, |ut wo:sc.
lt was a iull |ousc, ¡a:c:ts wit| t|ci: c|ilc:c:, g:a:cuot|c:s, au:ts a:c u:clcs, all uu:uu:i:g
wit| cx¡cctatio:, :cwl,was|cc :ou:c iaccs, cccc:t ¡co¡lc wit| ·u:ca,`s ..¸oo·.- i: t|ci:
stouac|s, t|c l:c:c| ¡ctit|ou:gcoisic o: a: cxcu:sio: i:to t|c wo:lc oi t|cat:c.
I|c cu:tai: wc:t u¡ o: a c:caciul sct oi t|c :i:ctcc:t|cc:tu:, G:a|ow c:a. I|c ,ou:g gi:l
was ¡la,cc |, o:c oi t|c iauous :...e·o..e· w|o was wcll ¡ast ¡c:sio:a|lc agc. ·|c actcc wit|
|:ittlc i:tc:sit,, |c: wig |:utall, ,cllow, accc:tuati:g |c: s|a:¡ :osc a:c ¡ai:tcc littlc olc
woua:`s iacc. I|c, all ccclaiucc at wal|i:g ¡acc o: at a gallo¡, t|c |c:oi:c t|:owi:g |c:scli cow:
o: t|c |oa:cs at t|c vc:, |:ig|t iootlig|ts. A t|i:t,iivc ua: o:c|cst:a ¡la,cc t|c vigo:ous sc:sual
uusic wit|out cxc:ti:g t|cusclvcs, s|i¡¡i:g :c¡cats, ¡co¡lc wc:t i: a:c out oi t|c o:c|cst:a ¡it,
tal|i:g u:co:cc::ccl,, a:c t|c o|oist c:a:| a glass oi wi:c. I|c |c:oi:c sc:caucc i: |ca:t:c:ci:g
to:cs a:c ,ct agai: icll to t|c iloo:.
A st:a:gc sou:c t|c: wcllcc u¡ i:ou t|c ca:|:css oi t|c `aucito:iuu. l loo|cc :ou:c a:c
ciscovc:cc to u, asto:is|uc:t t|at cvc:,o:c was c:,i:g, souc :at|c: cisc:cctl, i:to t|ci:
|a:c|c:c|icis, ot|c:s o¡c:l, a:c wit| ¡lcasu:c. \o:sicu: lc|:u: at u, sicc, wit| |is wcll|:us|cc
a:c ¡a:tcc |ai: a:c wcllg:ooucc uoustac|c, was s|a|i:g as ii wit| icvc:, a:c out oi |is :ou:c
|lac| c,cs clca: tca:s wc:c :u::i:g cow: |is wclls|avc: :os, c|cc|s, |is littlc iat |a:cs uovi:g
|cl¡lcssl, ovc: t|c s|a:¡ c:cascs oi |is t:ousc:s.
I|c cu:tai: icll to :csou:ci:g a¡¡lausc. I|c agci:g gi:l cauc u¡ i:o:t stagc, |c: wig c:oo|cc,
¡laccc a suall |a:c o: |c: |o:, c|cst a:c stooc quitc still, :cga:ci:g |c: aucic:cc wit| a ca:|
u:iat|oua|lc gazc. ·|c was still i: a t:a:cc, t|c: allowcc |c:scli to |c wo|c: slowl, |, t|c
|u|ila:t c:ics oi t|c iait|iul, all t|osc ¡co¡lc w|o |ac livcc a liic wit| t+.!e·.e--e all t|osc ¡co¡lc
w|o agai: a:c agai: |ac go:c o: a ¡ilg:iuagc to a ·u:ca, ¡c:io:ua:cc at t|c t|cat:c, ii:st wit|
g:a:cuot|c: |olci:g t|ci: |a:cs a:c :ow wit| t|ci: ow: g:a:cc|ilc:c:, sccu:c i: t|c iact t|at
\acauc Guc:lai:c, ctc::all, o: t|c sauc stagc, at a ccii:itc tiuc, ,ca: aitc: ,ca:, woulc t|:ow
|c:scli cow: |caclo:g |, t|c iootlig|ts, lauc:ti:g |c: g:ici ovc: t|c c:uclt, oi liic.
lvc:,o:c was s|outi:g. I|c littlc olc woua: u¡ t|c:c o: t|c uc:cilcssl, illuui:atcc stagc |ac
o:cc agai: touc|cc t|c |ca:ts oi t|c iait|iul. 1|eo·.e o· o ¬..o.!e. l sta:cc wit| ,ou:g a:c :clc:tlcssl,
cu:ious c,cs at t|is s¡cctaclc wit|i: a s¡cctaclc. ·olc ¡co¡lc casil, g:ow sc:tiuc:tal,` l saic to
Gu:. I|c: wc wc:t u¡ t|c liiicl Iowc: so t|at at lcast wc |ac |cc: u¡ it.
lcio:c t|c t|cat:c, wc |ac |ac lu:c| at a cisti:guis|cc :cstau:a:t |ust o¡¡ositc t|c ·cco:.
·vc: t|c :cxt icw |ou:s, t|c |ic:c,s ¡!o¬/e wc |ac catc: |ac ¡asscc t|:oug| va:ious stagcs. :ow
as wc stooc at t|c vc:, to¡ oi t|c liiicl Iowc:, gazi:g ovc: t|at iauous ¡a:o:aua, cou:tlcss colo:
|acilli st:uc|. Wc wc:c |ot| aiilictcc wit| tc::i|lc i:tc::al s¡asus a:c :us|cc io: t|cliits, w|c:c
la:gc :oticcs statcc t|at t|c, wc:c closcc io: two |ou:s i: s,u¡at|, wit| t|c ¡:ot:actcc st:i|c oi
t|c wo:|c:s i: t|c ¡u|lic clca:si:g cc¡a:tuc:t. Wc uacc ou: wa, cow: t|c wi:ci:g stai:casc wit|
:o ¡ossi|lc c|a:cc oi ¡:cvc:ti:g a catast:o¡|c. A: i:c:cci|l, o|ligi:g taxi c:ivc: s¡:cac |is
:cws¡a¡c:s out o: t|c |ac| scat a:c co:vc,cc t|is scuico:scious sti:|i:g cou¡lc to t|ci: |otcl,
w|c:c io: t|c :cxt twc:t,iou: |ou:s, c:awli:g i:ou t|c |cc ac:oss t|c iloo:, wc altc::atcl, a:c
|oi:tl, cu|:accc t|c lavato:, |owl. u:til t|c:, s|,:css i: ou: lovc |ac ¡:cvc:tcc us i:ou usi:g t|c
|at|:oou`s co:vc:ic:cc, a:c w|c: i: :ccc wc |ac ¡attc:cc oii to t|c co:sicc:a|l, lcss luxu:ious
a::a:gcuc:t i: t|c co::ico:. At o:c |low, all cisc:ctio: was swc¡t awa,. ·u: ¡|,sical uisc:,
u:cou|tccl, |:oug|t us closc: to cac| ot|c:.
Vilgot ·|oua:`s sc:cc:¡la, was ii:is|cc. lc wc:t |ouc, uuc| uisscc |, us |ot|, a:c :ow wc
wc:c lcit to ou:sclvcs, t|c:c was :o lo:gc: a:, cxcusc to :cuai: i: la:is. Da,s wit| a c|ill i: t|c
ai: a::ivcc. I|c uist :ollcc i: i:ou t|c ¡lai:s a:c :cuovcc t|c liiicl Iowc: i:ou u, vicw u:cc:
t|c |otcl :ooi. l w:otc a ¡la, callcc j.o.|.¬ :o|e1. lc is a ua|c: oi silc:t iilus i: iuitatio: oi
\clics. A |ottoulcss ca:al :u:s |clow |is cila¡icatcc stucio. lc catc|cs a tal|i:g iis|, |:ca|s u¡
|is ua::iagc a:c tclls a sto:, a|out |ow t|c liiicl Iowc: o:c ca, g:cw ti:cc oi |ci:g t|c liiicl
Iowc:, lcit its ¡ost a:c :cuovcc itscli to t|c l:glis| ·|a::cl. latc:, t|c Iowc: gcts a guilt,
co:scic:cc a:c :ctu::s. ¡oac|iu c:cs u¡ i: a :cligious |:ot|c:|ooc, i: w|ic| suicicc |as |cc:
tu::cc i:to a uca:i:giul :itc.
I|c o:c a:c o:l, co¡, oi t|is ¡la, was su|uittcc, i: i:sa:c |o¡c, to t|c ko,al D:auatic
I|cat:c, w|c:c it cisa¡¡ca:cc wit|out t:acc, ¡c:|a¡s |ust as wcll.
Wc :oaucc aiulcssl, a:ou:c t|c cit,, lost ou: wa,, iou:c ou: wa,, got lost agai:. Wc
wa:cc:cc cow: to t|c sluicc gatcs i: \a::c, lo:tAutcuil a:c la lic. Wc soug|t out t|c lotcl cu
:o:c a:c t|c littlc auuscuc:t ¡a:| o: t|c outs|i:ts oi t|c lois cc Vi:cc::cs.
I|c cx|i|itio: oi lu¡:cssio:ists at t|c ¡cu cc lauuc. kola:c lctit`s co.¬e-. la::ault as l. i:
1|e 1..o!, a:ti¡s,c|ological acti:g st,lc, alic: |ut c:tici:g. ·c:gc liia:, t|c agci:g uo:stc: i:
t+¡.e·¬.1. 1o- ¡oo-, a iat w|o:c wit| uoist o¡c: li¡s, s|auclcssl, :aciati:g all t|c viccs oi t|c
1-¯0s. kavcl`s c.-.e.·. ¡.. ·|e te¡· uo-1 o:c ·atu:ca, uo::i:g i: t|c I|cat:c cc ·|au¡s ll,sccs. l
ca: go o: io:cvc:. kaci:c`s t|e1.e, u:o|t:usivc a:c iu:ious. 1|e Ðo¬-o·..- .¡ too··, lc:lioz at t|c
G:a:c ·¡c:a wit| all its a¡¡a:atus. lala:c|i:c`s |allcts. la ·i:cuat|cquc. t|c |iza::c \o:sicu:
la:glois wit| a ci:t, st:ca| :ou:c |is |li:ci:gl, w|itc colla:. I|c, |ac s|ow: t.e-., (1..¬e-·) a:c
t..·.- (1|e Ðe·.!· Po-·.-}. l was :cccivcc |i:cl, a:c saw iilus |, \clics as wcll as silc:t l:c:c|
ia:ccs, lcuillacc`s jo1e· a:c D:c,c:`s teo·e· ¡..¬ :o·o-· i..|. lx¡c:ic:ccs ¡ilcc o: cx¡c:ic:ccs. \,
|u:gc: was i:satia|lc.
·:c cvc:i:g, wc wc:t to t|c At|c:cc to scc louis ¡ouvct i: a ¡la, |, Gi:aucoux, a:c lllc: was
scatcc i: t|c :ow ciago:all, i: i:o:t oi us. ·|c tu::cc :ou:c a:c suilcc. Wc ilcc. A law,c: i: a
¡alc |luc suit a:c :cc tic a::ivcc, cis¡atc|cc |, t|c :clatio:s to ¡ut Gu: to :ig|ts. I|c, wc:c to
|avc lu:c| togct|c:. l stooc at t|c |otcl wi:cow watc|i:g t|cu wal|i:g sicc |, sicc cow: :uc ·tc
A::c. Gu: was wca:i:g s|ocs wit| vc:, |ig| |ccls a:c was tallc: t|a: t|c suall gcsticulati:g
law,c:. lc: t|i: |lac| c:css was st:ctc|cc tig|t ovc: |c: |i¡s a:c s|c was :u::i:g |c: |a:c
t|:oug| |c: s|o:t as||lo:c |ai:. l t|oug|t s|c woulc :ot couc |ac|. W|c: s|c a¡¡ca:cc i: t|c
cvc:i:g, s|a|c: a:c tc:sc, l |ac o:l, o:c si:glc qucstio: w|ic| l |c¡t :c¡cati:g iu:iousl, a:c
ua:icall,. Dic ,ou slcc¡ wit| t|c law,c:· Dic ,ou slcc¡ wit| |iu· Acuit t|at ,ou slc¡t wit| |iu.
You |:ow ,ou slc¡t wit| |iu.`
lca: woulc soo: c:catc w|at was ica:cc.
·:c ic, Dcccu|c: ca,, wc |oo|cc i: at a |oa:ci:g |ousc i: ·toc||olu`s ·t:a:cvagc: w|c:c
wc wc:c :ot allowcc to s|a:c a :oou, as t|at was agai:st ·wccis| |otcl :cgulatio:s.
Gu: |ac quic|l, |:o|c: cow: u:cc: t|c t|:cat oi losi:g |c: c|ilc:c:. ·|c :ctu::cc to t|c |ousc
i: lici:go a:c a |us|a:c w|o |ac |ac ¡lc:t, oi tiuc to t|i:| out souc su|tlc wa,s oi ta|i:g
:cvc:gc. l was to go to Got|c:|u:g to cou¡lctc o:c last ¡:ocuctio: u:cc: u, co:t:act.
Wc wc:c :ot allowcc to ucct, to tal| o: t|c tclc¡|o:c, to w:itc to cac| ot|c:. lvc:, attcu¡t
at co:tact i:c:cascc t|c :is| oi Gu: |avi:g t|c c|ilc:c: ta|c: awa, i:ou |c:. l: t|osc ca,s, t|c
laws agai:st a uot|c: w|o |ac :u: awa,` i:ou |ouc wc:c st:ict.
l ua:agcc to gct |olc oi a suall a¡a:tuc:t ;w|ic| l still :c:t, a:c uovcc i: wit| iou:
g:auo¡|o:c :cco:cs, ci:t, u:cc:clot|cs a:c a c:ac|cc tcacu¡. l: u, g:ici, l w:otc a iilu sc:i¡t
w|ic| was givc: t|c titlc oi :o¬¬e. i-·e.!o1e, a:c a s,:o¡sis io: a:ot|c: iilu as wcll as a ¡la, w|ic|
|as |cc: lost. I|c:c wc:c :uuou:s t|at all iilu ¡:ocuctio: woulc |c |altcc |, t|c ¡:ocucc:s`
¡:otcst agai:st t|c govc::uc:t`s c:tc:tai:uc:t tax. lo: uc, suc| a: actio: woulc c:tail ii:a:cial
cisastc: as l was su¡¡o:ti:g two iauilics.
·:c ca, aitc: ·|:istuas, Gu: stc¡¡cc out oi |c: |uuiliatio: a:c :ciuscc to ¡la, gaucs u:cc:
ualc :ulcs a:, lo:gc:. Wc ¡aic a: cxo:|ita:t :c:t io: a iu::is|cciou::oou a¡a:tuc:t :ig|t at
t|c to¡ oi a lovcl, olc ·stc:ualu |ousc a:c uovcc i: wit| Gu:`s two suall |o,s a:c t|c li::is|
:u:sc.
Gu: |ac :o wo:|, a:c l :ow |ac t|:cc iauilics to su¡¡o:t.
W|at |a¡¡c:cc aitc: t|at ca: |c tolc |:icil,. Gu: |ccauc ¡:cg:a:t. At t|c c:c oi t|c suuuc:,
all iilu ¡:ocuctio: ccascc. l was cisuisscc i:ou ·vc:s| lilui:cust:i a:c |ccauc a:tistic ci:ccto:
io: lo:c:s \a:ustcct`s :cwl, lau:c|cc t|cat:c, |ut iailcc wit| two ¡:ocuctio:s a:c got t|c sac|
i:ou t|c:c too.
Gu:`s |us|a:c tclc¡|o:cc o:c autuu: cvc:i:g a:c suggcstcc :cco:ciliatio: a:c a: ag:ccuc:t
i:stcac oi a cou:t casc. lc as|cc to scc |c: alo:c. W|c: t|c, |ac couc to tc:us, t|c, woulc go to
a law,c: togct|c: to c:aw u¡ a lcgal ag:ccuc:t. l io:|acc |c: to ucct |c: |us|a:c alo:c. ·|c was
iu¡laca|lc. lc |ac sou:ccc soit a:c cou¡lia:t o: t|c ¡|o:c, aluost c:,i:g. Aitc: ci::c:, |c cauc
to ictc| |c: i: |is ca:. At iou: i: t|c uo::i:g, s|c cauc |ac|, |c: iacc :igic a:c |c: to:c oi voicc
cvasivc. ·|c wa:tcc to slcc¡. Wc coulc tal| touo::ow a:c all t|c ot|c: ca,s. l :ciuscc to lcavc |c:
i: ¡cacc a:c ccua:ccc to |:ow w|at |ac |a¡¡c:cc. ·|c tolc uc |c |ac c:ivc: |c: out to lill
¡a:ss|ogc: a:c :a¡cc |c:. l lcit t|c a¡a:tuc:t a:c :a: t|:oug| t|c st:ccts.
l |avc :cvc: iou:c out w|at :call, |a¡¡c:cc. I|c:c was ¡:o|a|l, :o qucstio: oi :a¡c i: t|c
¡|,sical sc:sc, |ut s|c ua, wcll |avc |cc: su||cctcc to ¡|,sical violc:cc. ii ,ou slcc¡ wit| uc ,ou
ca: |avc t|c c|ilc:c:.
l cic:`t |:ow w|at was |a¡¡c:i:g. Gu: was iou: uo:t|s` ¡:cg:a:t. l |c|avcc li|c a |calous
c|ilc. ·|c was alo:c, ccsc:tcc. I|c:c a:c uovi:g ¡ictu:cs wit| sou:c a:c lig|t w|ic| :cvc: lcavc
t|c ¡:o|ccto: oi t|c soul |ut :u: i: loo¡s t|:oug|out liic wit| u:c|a:gi:g s|a:¡:css, u:c|a:gi:g
o||cctivc cla:it,. ·:l, o:c`s ow: i:sig|t i:cxo:a|l, a:c :clc:tlcssl, uovcs i:wa:cs towa:cs t|c
t:ut|.
l: u:cc: a: |ou:, all ou: c|a:ccs oi gctti:g t|:oug| t|c c:isis togct|c: cx¡i:cc. I|c |cgi::i:g
oi t|c c:c was a iact, alt|oug| wc clu:g togct|c: i: a ccs¡c:atc attcu¡t at :cco:ciliatio:.
I|c cou:t casc woulc ¡:occcc. I|at sauc uo::i:g, it was ca:ccllcc w|c: Gu:`s law,c:
t|:catc:cc to ua|c |c: |us|a:c`s ii:a:cial ua:i¡ulatio:s ¡u|lic. l co :ot |:ow t|c cctailcc
ci:cuusta:ccs, |ut t|c civo:cc wc:t t|:oug| iai:l, ¡ai:lcssl, a:c, aitc: a |uuiliati:g i:vcstigatio:,
t|c ·|ilc ·a:c ·ouuissio: :ccouuc:ccc t|at Gu: s|oulc |avc t|c custoc, oi t|c c|ilc:c:.
I|c c:aua was ovc:. lut ou: lovc was so wou:ccc t|at it |lcc to ccat| a:c ii:a:cial ¡:o|lcus
ovc:s|acowcc cvc:,t|i:g.
:o uo:c,, :o iilui:g, a:c cvc:, uo:t| co:sicc:a|lc suus to |c iou:c io: t|c uai:tc:a:cc oi
two cxwivcs a:c iivc c|ilc:c:. li uai:tc:a:cc was two ca,s latc, a iu:ious ·|ilc ·a:c oiiicial
uatc:ializcc a:c :cuo:st:atcc wit| uc a|out u, cissolutc liic. lvc:, visit to t|c iauil, i:
Got|c:|u:g sta:tcc wit| io:ual cou:tcs, a:c c:ccc i: savagc scc:cs, |lows, a:c t|c c|ilc:c:`s
a:guis|cc sc:caus.
l ii:all, atc |uu|lc ¡ic a:c tu::cc to ·vc:s| lilui:cust:i io: a loa:. l was givc: a loa:, |ut at
t|c sauc tiuc |ac to sig: a co:t:act io: iivc iilus io: w|ic| l woulc :cccivc twot|i:cs oi u,
:o:ual iccs io: |ot| sc:i¡t a:c ci:cctio:. l: accitio:, l |ac to :c¡a, t|c loa: wit|i: t|:cc ,ca:s,
i:cluci:g i:tc:cst, t|c suu to |c autouaticall, cccuctcc i:ou u, i:couc i:ou t|c cou¡a:,. l was
tcu¡o:a:il, savcc i:ou ii:a:cial cisastc:, |ut ticc |a:c a:c ioot io: t|c io:cscca|lc iutu:c.
·u: so: Gu:`s a:c ui:c was |o:: o: Wal¡u:gis :ig|t ¦at t|c c:c oi A¡:il¡ i: 1- .1. Io
gct t|c co:t:actio:s goi:g, wc c:a:| c|au¡ag:c a:c c:ovc i: u, :aus|ac|lc lo:c :ou:c t|c |ill,
lacuga:csga:cct a:ca. Aitc: l |ac lcit Gu: i: t|c ca:c oi t|c uicwiic a:c |ac |cc: ¡us|cc out oi
t|c wa:c, l wc:t |ouc, got cvc: uo:c c:u:|, u:¡ac|cc u, olc to, t:ai: sct a:c o|sti:atcl, ¡la,cc
wit| it i: silc:cc u:til l icll aslcc¡ o: t|c iloo:.
I|c |a: o: iilui:g cauc to a: c:c a:c Gu: got a locuu |o| as a |ou::alist o: a: cvc:i:g ¡a¡c:
as wcll as souc t:a:slatio: wo:|. l was to ua|c two iilus iuucciatcl,, o:c aitc: t|c ot|c:, Po.·.-¸
P.¬e-, i:ou u, ow: sc:i¡t, a:c :o¬¬e. «.·| M.-.|o, i:ou a :ovcl |, lc: A:cc:s logclst:ou. A
,ou:g act:css ¡la,i:g i: a ·cala I|cat:c :cvicw i: iis|:ct stoc|i:gs a:c a: cloquc:t cccollctagc was
c|osc: as \o:i|a, lc: :auc was la::ict A:cc:sso:, a:c s|c |ac souc iilu cx¡c:ic:cc a:c was
c:gagcc to a ,ou:g acto:. At t|c c:c oi ¡ul,, wc wc:t o: locatio: i: t|c outc: a:c|i¡clago.
l was at o:cc ovc:couc wit| cu¡|o:ic lig|t|ca:tcc:css. l:oicssio:al, ii:a:cial a:c ua:ital
¡:o|lcus icll awa, ovc: t|c |o:izo:. I|c olu c:cw livcc a :clativcl, couio:ta|lc outcoo: liic,
wo:|i:g ca,s, cvc:i:gs, caw:s a:c i: all wcat|c:s. I|c :ig|ts wc:c s|o:t, slcc¡ c:caulcss. Aitc:
t|:cc wcc|s` c:ccavou:, wc sc:t ou: :csults io: ccvclo¡i:g |ut, owi:g to a ccicctivc uac|i:c, t|c
la|o:ato:, ua:agcc to tca: t|ousa:cs oi uct:cs oi iilu a:c :ca:l, all oi it |ac to |c s|ot agai:. Wc
c:icc a icw c:ococilc tca:s, |ut wc:c scc:ctl, cclig|tcc at ou: cxtc:ccc i:cccou.
lilu wo:| is a ¡owc:iull, c:otic |usi:css, t|c ¡:oxiuit, oi acto:s is wit|out :csc:vatio:s, t|c
uutual cx¡osu:c is total. I|c i:tiuac,, ccvotio:, cc¡c:cc:c,, lovc, co:iicc:cc a:c c:cci|ilit, i:
i:o:t oi t|c cauc:a`s uagical c,c |ccouc a wa:u, ¡ossi|l, illuso:, sccu:it,. I|c st:ai:, t|c casi:g
oi tc:sio:, t|c uutual c:awi:g oi |:cat|, t|c uouc:t oi t:iuu¡|, iollowcc |, a:ticliuax. t|c
atuos¡|c:c is i::csisti|l, c|a:gcc wit| scxualit,. lt too| uc ua:, ,ca:s |cio:c l at last lca::t t|at
o:c ca, t|c cauc:a woulc sto¡ a:c t|c lig|ts go out,
la::ict A:cc:sso: a:c l |avc wo:|cc togct|c: all t|:oug| t|c ,ca:s. ·|c is a: u:usuall, st:o:g
|ut vul:c:a|lc ¡c:so:, wit| a st:ca| oi |:illia:cc i: |c: giits. lc: :clatio:s|i¡ to t|c cauc:a is
st:aig|t a:c sc:sual. ·|c is also tcc|:icall, su¡c:| a:c ca: uovc li|c lig|t:i:g i:ou t|c uost
¡owc:iul cu¡at|, to co:vc,i:g so|c: cuotio:s, |c: |uuou: is ast:i:gc:t |ut :cvc: c,:ical, s|c is a
lovcl, ¡c:so: a:c o:c oi u, cca:cst i:ic:cs.
W|c: wc :ctu::cc i:ou ou: a:c|i¡clago acvc:tu:cs, l tolc Gu: w|at |ac |a¡¡c:cc a:c
:cqucstcc a icw uo:t|s` :cs¡itc, io: |ot| la::ict a:c l :calizcc t|at ou: :clatio:s|i¡ woulc |c
liuitcc i: tiuc. Gu: was iu:ious a:c tolc uc to go to |cll. l was auazcc at |c: s¡lc:cic :agc,
w|ic| l |ac :cvc: scc: |cio:c, a:c g:catl, :clicvcc.
l ¡ac|cc a icw ¡osscssio:s a:c uovcc agai: i:to u, o:c:oou a¡a:tuc:t.
Wc wc:c a|lc to ucct agai: wit| :cit|c: |ittc::css :o: accusatio:s a icw ,ca:s latc:. Aitc: Gu:
a:c l civo:ccc, s|c sta:tcc :caci:g ·lav la:guagcs. ·|c gai:cc a cocto:atc, |c: t:a:slatio:
assig:uc:ts |ccauc uo:c a:c uo:c so¡|isticatcc, a:c s|c wo: a :c¡utatio: io: |c:scli. ·|c
g:acuall, c:catcc a: i:cc¡c:cc:t liic oi |c: ow:, wit| i:ic:cs, lovc:s a:c io:cig: t:avcl.
·u: |o, ovc: ou: :c:cwcc closc:css was co:sicc:a|lc |ut scliis|. Wc |a:cl, :oticcc t|at ou:
so: :cactcc wit| ¡ai: a:c |calous,.
W|c: Gu: was |illcc i: a :oac accicc:t, l:gua: |u:io: a:c l a::a:gcc to go to t|c iu:c:al
togct|c:. Wc uct |cio:c|a:c i: u, o:c:oou a¡a:tuc:t i: G:cvtu:cgata:. lc was :i:ctcc: ,ca:s
olc, a tall |a:csouc ,ou:g ua:, tallc: t|a: uc, a:c wc |ac :ot scc: o:c a:ot|c: io: ua:, ,ca:s.
lc was wca:i:g a :at|c: tig|t suit |c |ac |o::owcc i:ou |is |ali |:ot|c:. Wc sat i: silc:cc, |o¡i:g
t|c tiuc woulc go a littlc iastc:. lt cic :ot. lc as|cc uc w|ct|c: |, a:, c|a:cc l |ac :ccclc a:c
t|:cac, |ccausc |c |ac to scw o: a |utto:. l |u:tcc t|cu out. Wc sat cow: o¡¡ositc cac| ot|c: |,
t|c wi:cow, l:gua: |u:io: |c:t ovc: |is scwi:g, |is t|ic| iai: |ai: ialli:g ovc: |is io:c|cac, st:o:g
:cc |a:cs |us, wit| :ccclc a:c t|:cac. ·ccasio:all, |c s:iiicc wit| cu|a::assuc:t. lc was
su:¡:isi:gl, li|c t|c ¡|otog:a¡| oi |is ¡atc::al g:a:ciat|c: as a stucc:t, t|c sauc ca:||luc c,cs,
t|c sauc colou:cc |ai:, t|c sauc io:c|cac a:c sc:sitivc uout|. I|c sauc cista:t lc:gua: sta:cc.
co:`t touc| uc, co:`t couc :ca: uc, a:c co:`t |olc o: to uc, l`u a lc:gua:, io: ·|:ist`s sa|c.
l uacc a cluus, attcu¡t to sa, souct|i:g a|out |is uot|c:, |ut |c uacc a violc:tl, cisuissivc
gcstu:c a:c, w|c: l ¡c:sistcc, |c succc:l, loo|cc at uc wit| a colc co:tcu¡t t|at silc:ccc uc.
Gu: was t|c uoccl io: ua:, wouc: i: u, iilus. la:i: lo|clius i: Po.·.-¸ P.¬e-, Agca i:
:o«1o·· o-1 1.-·e!, \a:ia::c i: + te··.- .- t.·e, ·usa::c i: j.o.-e, .-·. +o·o¬- a:c Dcsi:cc A:uiclct
i: :¬.!e· .¡ o :o¬¬e. :.¸|·.
l: t|c i:cou¡a:a|lc lva Da|l|cc|, l iou:c |c: i:tc:¡:ctc:. I|c two wouc: togct|c: succccccc
i: uatc:ializi:g u, oitc: o|scu:c tcxts, t|us ccuo:st:ati:g i:couita|lc icui:i:it, i: a wa, l |ac
:cvc: ca:cc iuagi:c.

1+
l |avc :ccu::i:g c:caus. I|c uost usual is a ¡:oicssio:al c:cau. l au sta:ci:g i: t|c iilu stucio
a:c au a|out to stagc a scc:c. I|c, a:c all t|c:c, acto:s, cauc:auc:, assista:ts, clcct:icia:s,
cxt:as. lo: souc :caso: l ca:`t :cucu|c: t|c ca,`s sc:i¡t. l |avc to |cc¡ loo|i:g i: u, ¡:ocucc:`s
log|oo| i: w|ic| t|c:c a:c i:cou¡:c|c:si|lc li:cs. l :ctu:: to t|c acto:s a:c |luii, sa,i:g
souct|i:g a|out ¡auscs. Ia|c out t|at ¡ausc a:c tu:: towa:cs t|c cauc:a, t|c: sa, t|c li:c, wait,
sa, it agai: quictl,.
I|c acto: loo|s at uc i:c:cculousl,, |ut o|ccic:tl, iollows u, i:st:uctio:s. l loo| at |iu
t|:oug| t|c cauc:a, gctti:g |ali |is iacc a:c o:c sta:i:g c,c. I|is ca:`t |c :ig|t. l tu:: to ·vc:
:,|vist, w|o is loo|i:g t|:oug| t|c vicwii:cc:, iocussi:g a:c zooui:g i:. I|c acto: |as
uca:w|ilc cisa¡¡ca:cc. ·ouco:c sa,s |c`s go:c io: a suo|c.
I|c ¡:o|lcu is gctti:g t|c scc:c out o: to t|c iloo:. ·wi:g to u, i:cou¡ctc:cc, l |avc a
w|olc lot oi acto:s a:c cxt:as squas|cc i:to a co::c:, ¡:csscc agai:st lig|t |ut st:o:gl, ¡attc::cc
wall su:iaccs. l :calizc t|c scc:c will |c cxt:cucl, ciiiicult to lig|t a:c :oticc ·vc:`s ¡olitcl,
cissatisiicc iacc. lc |atcs |:ig|t ovc:|cac lig|ts a:c cou|lc s|acows.
l o:cc: t|c wall to |c ta|c: awa,. l: t|at wa,, wc i:cc ou:sclvcs a:c ca: ta|c t|c scc:c i:ou t|c
ot|c: sicc. A: assista:t sa,s i: a: asicc t|at uovi:g t|c wall will cc:tai:l, |c ¡ossi|lc, |ut will ta|c
two |ou:s, io: t|at wall i: ¡a:ticula: |a¡¡c:s to |c a cou|lc wall, li:|cc to a:ot|c: w|ic| is |cav,
a:c aluost iuuova|lc. li t|c wall is :cuovcc, t|c :c:cc:i:g will colla¡sc. l g:uu|lc ·.··. ·..e, wit|
a: u:¡lcasa:t iccli:g t|at l u,scli |ac i:sistcc o: t|c li:|i:g oi i:tc:io: to cxtc:io:.
l o:cc: t|c cauc:as to uovc to a coo:wa,, a:c t|c: loo| t|:oug| t|c vicwii:cc:. I|c cxt:as a:c
|ici:g t|c acto:. Io |c scc:, |c uust tu:: to t|c :ig|t. I|c sc:i¡t gi:l tactiull, ¡oi:ts out t|at |c
|ac uovcc to t|c lcit i: t|c ¡:cvious ta|c.
lt is vc:, quict i: t|c stucio. I|c, a:c all waiti:g ¡atic:tl, |ut wit|out |o¡c. l sta:c ccs¡c:atcl,
i:to t|c vicwii:cc:, w|c:c l ca: scc |ali t|c acto:`s iacc, |is c,c sta:i:g. lo: a uouc:t l t|i:| t|is
will |c :cua:|a|lc, a¡¡:cciatcc a:c ccsc:i|cc |, i:tc::atio:al c:itics, |ut t|c: :c|cct t|c t|oug|t
as cis|o:cst.
·uccc:l, l |avc t|c ·.!o·..-, a t:ac|i:g s|ot. A t:ac|i:g s|ot :ou:c t|c acto:s, ¡ast t|c cxt:as,
t:ac|i:g. Ia:|ovs|, is alwa,s t:ac|i:g :ou:c i: cvc:, scc:c, t|c cauc:a il,i:g i: all ci:cctio:s. l
actuall, t|i:| it a: o||cctio:a|lc tcc|:iquc, |ut it solvcs u, ¡:o|lcu. Iiuc ¡asscs.
\, |ca:t t:cu|lcs a:c l ii:c it |a:c to |:cat|c. ·vc: :,|vist sa,s t:ac|i:g is iu¡ossi|lc. W|,
cocs ·vc: |avc to |c so aw|wa:c· ·i cou:sc, |c`s ai:aic oi ciiiicult cauc:a uovcuc:ts a:c is
g:owi:g olc a:c cowa:cl,. l loo| at |iu i: ccs¡ai:. lc ¡oi:ts |c|i:c u, |ac| a:c loo|s sac. l tu::
:ou:c a:c t|c:c`s :o scc:c:, t|c:c, |ust t|c stucio wall. lc`s :ig|t, t:ac|i:g is iu¡ossi|lc.
l: u, ccs¡c:atio:, l cccicc to ua|c a s|o:t s¡ccc| to t|c asscu|lcc ¡c:so::cl. l wa:t to sa,
t|at l |avc wo:|cc i: iilus io: io:t, ,ca:s t|at l |avc uacc io:t,iivc iilus a:c l au scc|i:g :cw
wa,s a:c wa:t to :c:cw u, iuagc:,. ·:c uust co:sta:tl, qucstio: o:c`s :csults. l wa:t to statc
t|at l |avc t|c ca¡acit,, au a ua: oi g:cat cx¡c:ic:cc, t|at t|c ¡:csc:t ¡:o|lcu is a uc:c |agatcllc.
li l wa:tcc to, l coulc uovc |ac|wa:cs a:c ta|c a lo:g s|ot i:ou ciago:all, a|ovc. I|at woulc |c
a: cxccllc:t solutio:. l co:`t |clicvc i: Goc, l |:ow, |ut it is:`t t|at siu¡lc. Wc all ca::, a goc
wit|i: us. lvc:,t|i:g is a ¡attc:: oi w|ic| wc occasio:all, catc| a gliu¡sc, cs¡cciall, at t|c
uouc:t oi ccat|. I|at is w|at l wa:t to sa,, |ut it`s :ot wo:t| it. I|c ¡co¡lc |avc :ct:catcc,
asscu|lcc ccc¡ i:sicc t|c uu:|, stucio, a:c a:c sta:ci:g closc togct|c:, a:gui:g. l ca:`t |ca: w|at
t|c,`:c sa,i:g a:c ca: scc :ot|i:g |ut t|ci: |ac|s.
l au |ci:g t:a:s¡o:tcc i: a la:gc ac:o¡la:c a:c au t|c o:l, ¡assc:gc:. I|c ¡la:c ta|cs oii i:ou
t|c :u:wa, |ut ca:`t gai: |cig|t, so is :oa:i:g alo:g wicc st:ccts, |cc¡i:g at t|c |cig|t oi t|c to¡
iloo:s oi t|c |uilci:gs. l ca: scc t|:oug| t|c wi:cows, ¡co¡lc uovi:g, gcsticulati:g, t|c ca, |cav,
a:c t|u:cc:,. l t:ust t|c ¡ilot`s s|ill, |ut :calizc t|c c:c is a¡¡:oac|i:g.
:ow l`u iloati:g wit| :o ac:o¡la:c, uovi:g u, a:us i: a s¡ccial wa, a:c :isi:g casil, i:ou t|c
g:ou:c. l au su:¡:iscc t|at l |avc :cvc: t:icc to il, |cio:c, w|c: it is so siu¡lc. At t|c sauc tiuc,
l :calizc t|is is a s¡ccial giit, a:c :ot cvc:,o:c ca: il,. ·ouc w|o ca: il, a |it |avc to st:ai: to t|c
¡oi:t oi cx|austio:, t|ci: a:us |c:t a:c t|c si:cws i: t|ci: :cc|s tc:sc. l iloat u:|i:cc:cc li|c a
|i:c.
l ii:c u,scli a|ovc a ¡lai:, a stc¡¡c ¡:csuua|l,. lt`s |ou:c to |c kussia. l iloat ovc: a |ugc
:ivc: a:c a |ig| |:icgc. lclow t|c |:icgc, a |:ic| |uilci:g ¡:ot:uccs out i:to t|c :ivc: a:c cloucs
oi suo|c a:c |illowi:g out oi t|c c|iu:c,s. l ca: |ca: t|c :oa: oi uac|i:c:,. lt`s a iacto:,.
I|c :ivc: :ow cu:vcs a:ou:c i: a g:cat |c:c, t|c |a:|s wooccc, t|c ¡a:o:aua i:ii:itc. I|c su:
|as go:c |c|i:c t|c cloucs, |ut t|c s|acow lcss lig|t is st:o:g. I|c watc: ilows alo:g g:cc: a:c
t:a:s¡a:c:t i: a wicc iu::ow. ·ouctiucs l scc s|acows uovi:g ovc: sto:cs i: t|c cc¡t|s a:c t|c:c
a:c |ugc s|iuuc:i:g iis|. l au calu a:c iull oi co:iicc:cc.
W|c: l was ,ou:gc: a:c slc¡t wcll, l was to:uc:tcc |, loat|souc c:caus. uu:cc:, to:tu:c,
suiiocatio:, i:ccst, ccst:uctio:, i:sa:c a:gc:. l: u, olc agc, u, c:caus a:c csca¡ist, |ut i:ic:cl,,
oitc: couio:ti:g.
·ouctiucs l c:cau a |:illia:t ¡:ocuctio: wit| g:cat c:owcs oi ¡co¡lc, uusic a:c colou:iul scts.
l w|is¡c: to u,scli wit| cxt:cuc satisiactio:. I|is is u, ¡:ocuctio:. l |avc c:catcc t|is.`

1.
l |ac |cc: ¡:ouiscc a ¡ost at t|c ko,al D:auatic I|cat:c cu:i:g t|c ca:l, 1-.0., souct|i:g
t|at uacc uc |a¡¡,, |ut t|c: t|c:c was a c|a:gc oi :cgiuc. I|c :cw ci:ccto: cic :ot co:sicc:
|iuscli ticc to a:, ¡:ouiscs, |ut tolc uc i: |uuiliati:g tc:us t|at l |a:cl, cauc u¡ to t|c
sta:ca:cs oi ou: :atio:al stagc. Io co:solc u,scli, l w:otc a :uu|c: oi ¡la,s w|ic| wc:c :ot
accc¡tcc. la::ict co:ti:ucc i: iis|:ct stoc|i:gs a:c cccollctagc at t|c ·cala I|cat:c a:c |ac to si:g
a cou¡lct wit| t|c :ci:ai:. l co:`t ui:c |ci:g wilc a:c i:cc ii l:gua: lc:gua: ia:cics uc.`
\ca:w|ilc, ou: :clatio:s|i¡ was |ccoui:g lcss ¡:ouisi:g, t|c ccuo:s oi u, :ct:os¡cctivc
|calous, ¡oiso:i:g us. l uovcc i:to a littlc |otcl at t|c to¡ oi t|c ·out| I|cat:c |uilci:g wit| a
vicw ovc: lacuga:csla:c a:c lil¡a:ss|ogc:. l: a |u:st oi u:usuall, ¡:oiou:c uisa:t|:o¡,, l w:otc
a iilu t|at was |a¡tizcc :o«1o·· o-1 1.-·e!.
As :o t|cat:c ci:ccto: i: t|c ca¡ital wa:tcc u, sc:viccs, l accc¡tcc a: oiic: i:ou \aluo ·it,
I|cat:c. la::ict was also c:gagcc. Wit| :o :cg:cts, wc uovcc i:to a t|:cc:oou a¡a:tuc:t i: a
:cw :csicc:tial a:ca o: t|c :oac to liu|au:. l |oug|t souc iu::itu:c a:c wc cuu¡cc it i: t|c
a¡a:tuc:t.
I|c: wc civcc i:to t|c t|cat:c.
·: t|c su:iacc, \aluo \u:ici¡al I|cat:c was a gc:c:ous csta|lis|uc:t i: w|ic| o¡c:a, |allct,
o¡c:ctta a:c ¡la,s s|a:cc two stagcs. ·:c stagc was too |ig ;1¯00 scats, a:c was callcc t|c lig
loo, t|c ot|c: too suall ;100 scats, a:c was callcc t|c littlc ·quca|. I|c ¡:o|cct was a :csult oi a:
i:solu|lc collisio: |ctwcc: lc: li:c|c:g`s uo:uuc:tal ¡co¡lc`s t|cat:c, wit| a: a:c:a stagc a:c
ccuoc:atic scati:g, a:c l:ut ·t:ou`s c:cau oi visual t|cat:c, c:catcc io: stagc ccsig: visio:s a la
\c,c:|olc a:c kci:|a:ct. I|c acoustical ¡:o|lcus wc:c i:t:acta|lc. ·:c|cst:al co:cc:ts wc:c
¡lagucc |, t|c total lac| oi :cso:a:cc, t|c t|cat:c stagc |, t|c twc:t,two uct:c ¡:oscc:iuu a:c|,
o¡c:a a:c o¡c:ctta |, t|c cista:cc i:ou t|c aucic:cc, t|c |allct |, t|c stagc iloo:`s su:|c: i:o:
:ails. A :clativcl, la:gc |ut w:ctc|ccl, ¡aic staii sc:viccc t|is uo:stc: a:c ua:agcc to ¡ut o: a|out
twc:t, ¡:ocuctio:s a ,ca:. I|c autoc:atic t|cat:c ci:ccto:, la:slcvi lacstacius, was ccscc:ccc i:
a ci:cct li:c i:ou a g:cat :cvivalist ¡:cac|c:. lc was wcll :cac, :cc|lcss a:c ua:icall, vai:, a
cou|i:atio: :ot to |c ccs¡iscc i: a t|cat:c ci:ccto:.
\, cig|t ,ca:s wit| t|c \aluo ·it, I|cat:c tu::cc out to |c t|c |cst oi u, liic so ia:. l cic
t|:cc ¡:ocuctio:s cac| wi:tc: a:c o:c o: two iilus cac| suuuc:. l |ac a i:cc |a:c, a:c u, ¡:ivatc
liic |ac vi:tuall, ccascc to cxist. l livcc c:closcc i: a collcctivc ciio:t to ¡:ovicc ou: uo:stc: wit|
t|cat:ical ¡c:io:ua:ccs w|ic| wo:|cc a:c, as l was :ot |u:cc:cc wit| acui:ist:ativc wo::ics, l
coulc ccvotc u,scli i:ccl, to cx¡lo:i:g u, ¡:oicssio:.
·u: t|cat:c i:c:casi:gl, |ccauc a cc:t:c oi i:tc:cst, ¡:oui:c:t acto:s :calizi:g t|c acva:tagcs
oi ¡c:io:ui:g gooc t|cat:c i: t|c wi:tc: a:c colla|o:ati:g i: lc:gua: iilus i: t|c suuuc:. ·u:
c:scu|lc |cga: to wo:| :call, wcll a:c wc |ac t|c cou:agc to vc:tu:c iu:t|c: a:c iu:t|c: i:to
wo:lc c:aua.
li a:,o:c |ac t|oug|t oi as|i:g w|at aius wc |ac i: ui:c, wc woulc ¡:o|a|l, :ot |avc |cc:
a|lc to a:swc:.
l ca::ot :cucu|c: a:, ¡olitical, :cligious o: i:tcllcctual aius w|atsocvc: i: u, t|i:tcc:
¡:ocuctio:s i: \aluo. l |:cw t|at t|cat:c :ccccc ¡:og:auucs a:c t|at it was uca:i:glcss, as
·|a|cs¡ca:c sa,s i: uo¬!e·, to sc:vc cavia:c to t|c gc:c:al` o: t|c |ig stagc. lt was a uattc: oi
¡utti:g o: a: ciicctivc, co:vi:ci:g :c¡c:toi:c.
lt was also iu¡o:ta:t to ua|c t|c actual ¡:cuiscs ¡ossi|lc to act i:. l, cx¡c:iuc:ti:g, wc
ciscovc:cc t|at t|c stagc |ac o:c ¡oi:t, :oug|l, o:c uct:c i:ou t|c ¡:ou¡tc:`s |ox, w|ic| it was
¡ossi|lc io: t|c aucic:cc to |ca: a:c scc ¡:o¡c:l,. l:ou t|is ¡oi:t, wc coulc uovc a icw uct:cs
siccwa,s a:c a icw uct:cs |ac|, so wc |ac a :ccta:glc |a:cl, six uct:cs wicc a:c iou: uct:cs
ccc¡. ·utsicc t|is acti:g a:ca, t|c acto:`s c|a:ccs oi aiiccti:g t|c aucic:cc :a¡icl, ccc:cascc. ·: a
stagc twc:t,two uct:cs wicc a:c t|i:t,six i: cc¡t| ;t|c :cvolvi:g stagc gocs |aliwa, to Ystac`,,
t|c:c was a ¡la,a|lc s¡acc oi |a:cl, twc:t,iou: squa:c uct:cs.
Wc wc:c also io:ccc to :ccucc t|c siccs oi t|c aucito:iuu wit| uo|ilc sc:cc:s, so t|at it scatcc
icwc: t|a: a t|ousa:c ¡co¡lc. I|c stagc uac|i:c:, tu::cc out to |c i:ic:io: a:c wo:: out, a:c t|c
uocc:: lig|ti:g i:stallatio:s la, at t|c |ottou oi t|c laltic ·ca i: a to:¡ccocc Gc:ua: uc:c|a:t
s|i¡, so |ac ¡:ovisio:all, |cc: :c¡laccc wit| a 1-1+ a¡¡a:atus. I|c tcc|:ical staii wc:c
ovc:wo:|cc, icw i: :uu|c: a:c iai:l, |cav, c:i:|c:s. :atu:all, t|c:c wc:c cxcc¡tio:s w|o
wo:|cc t|cusclvcs to t|c |o:c to gct ou: Golcu to iu:ctio:.
l a::ivcc cvc:, uo::i:g at t|c t|cat:c o: t|c cot oi :i:c, |ac |:ca|iast co:sisti:g oi six |iscuits
a:c a cu¡ oi tca i: t|c ca:tcc:, :c|ca:scc i:ou |ali¡ast tc: u:til o:c, |ac |au a:c cggs a:c c:a:|
a cu¡ oi st:o:g coiicc, wc:t o: u:til iou:, uccti:gs, tcac|i:g i: t|c t|cat:c sc|ool, w:iti:g sc:i¡ts,
ta|i:g a :a¡ i: u, a:atouical iolci:g c|ai:, atc ci::c: i: t|c ca:tcc:, alwa,s a ¡iccc oi :cc ucat
a:c a ¡otato, ¡:c¡a:i:g io: t|c :cxt ca,, coi:g u, |oucwo:| a:c c|cc|i:g o: t|c ¡c:io:ua:cc.
W|c: la::ict |ac ta|c: oii |c: ua|cu¡ a:c c|a:gcc, wc wc:t |ouc to slcc¡, :cit|c: oi us
|avi:g uuc| to sa, to t|c ot|c: a:, lo:gc:. l quitc oitc: t:avcllcc to ·toc||olu to wo:| o: ii:is|cc
o: ¡la::cc iilus, a:c livcc i: u, o:c:oou a¡a:tuc:t i: G:cvtu:cgata:, |ac lu:c| at t|c stucio
a:c ci::c: at u, :cgula: |au:t. l ow:cc two ¡ai:s oi t:ousc:s, a :uu|c: oi ila::cl s|i:ts,
cisi:tcg:ati:g u:cc:wca:, t|:cc |c:sc,s a:c two ¡ai:s oi s|ocs. lt was a ¡:actical a:c u:ccua:ci:g
liic. l |ac ccciccc t|at a guilt, co:scic:cc was a: aiicctatio:, |ccausc u, to:uc:t coulc :cvc:
ua|c u¡ io: t|c cauagc l |ac co:c. l:csuua|l, souc i:acccssi|lc ¡:occss wc:t o: i:sicc. l |ac all
|i:cs oi gast:ic ilu a:c ulcc:s, l vouitcc oitc: a:c |ac t:ou|lcsouc stouac| c:au¡s iollowcc |,
cia::|oca. l: t|c autuu: oi 1-.., aitc: iilui:g :¬.!e· .¡ o :o¬¬e. :.¸|·, l wcig|cc iiit,six |ilos a:c
was acuittcc to la:oli:s|a los¡ital wit| sus¡cctcc ca:cc: oi t|c stouac|. l was t|o:oug|l,
cxaui:cc |, D: ·tu:c lcla:cc:. lc cauc i:to u, :oou o:c aitc::oo: |:i:gi:g t|c x:a,s wit|
|iu. lc sat cow: a:c ¡atic:tl, cx¡lai:cc t|cu. lc ccsc:i|cc u, ailuc:ts as ¡s,c|osouatic` a:c
tolc uc l woulc |avc to sta:t loo|i:g sc:iousl, i:to t|is ciul,lit a:ca, t|c |o:cc: cou:t:, |ctwcc:
|oc, a:c soul. lc acviscc uc to ta|c a ,og|u:tli|c sou:cc uil|, a :ccouuc:catio: l |avc
iollowcc cvc: si:cc. lc co:sicc:cc l suiic:cc i:ou cc:tai: allc:gic :cactio:s a:c woulc |avc to iccl
u, wa, wit| t|cu to csta|lis| w|at l coulc sta:c a:c w|at :ot. lc :aciatcc cou¡ctc:cc,
i:ic:cli:css a:c wiscou.
l ¡c:suaccc t|c vctc:a: ci:ccto: a:c acto:, Victo: ·|ost:ou, to ta|c o: t|c uai: :olc i: P.!1
:·.o«/e...e·. Wc |ac wo:|cc togct|c: |cio:c i: Io j., wit|out iccli:g a:, i::csisti|lc :ccc to co so
agai:. Victo: was ti:cc a:c ill, a:c |is wo:| |ac to |c ic:ccc :ou:c wit| va:ious co:sicc:atio:s.
Auo:g ot|c: t|i:gs, l |ac to ¡:ouisc |c woulc |c |ac| |ouc wit| |is |a|itual w|is|, ¡u:ctuall,
cvc:, ca, at |ali¡ast iou:.
·u: colla|o:atio: |cga: a¡¡alli:gl,. Victo: was :c:vous a:c l was tc:sc. lc ovc:actcc a:c l
c:cw |is attc:tio: to t|c iact t|at |c was ¡la,i:g to t|c gallc:,. lc at o:cc s|:ouccc |iuscli i:
su:l, wit|c:awal, t|c: saic t|c:c was su:c to |c souco:c clsc w|o coulc ¡la, t|c ¡a:t acco:ci:g to
u, wis|cs, a:c t|at |is cocto: woulc givc |iu a sic| :otc a:, ca,.
W|c: t|c gi:ls ¡ut i: a: a¡¡ca:a:cc, t|c situatio: |:ig|tc:cc. I|c olc c|a:uc: cclig|tcc i: t|c
aiicctio:atc |a:tc:i:g attc:tio:s oi t|c lacics, ili:tcc wit| t|cu a:c |oug|t t|cu ilowc:s a:c suall
¡:csc:ts. u::oticcc a:c ¡:ivatcl,, l |ac iilucc li|i A:cc:sso: i: a slig|tl, cccollctc tu::oit|c
cc:tu:, c:css sitti:g o: a ucacow |a:| iccci:g Victo: wit| wilc st:aw|c::ics. lc s:a¡¡cc at |c:
:i:gc:s a:c |ot| oi t|cu laug|cc, t|c ,ou:g woua: clca:l, ilattc:cc, t|c olc lio: o|viousl,
cclig|tcc.
l: t|c |:ca|s |ctwcc: ta|cs, wc io:ucc a ci:clc :ou:c Victo:. li|c i:quisitivc c|ilc:c:, wc
ccua:ccc t|at |c s|oulc tal| a|out t|c olc ca,s, a|out |is wo:|, a|out ot|c: ¡:ocucc:s, a|out |is
collcagucs i:ou t|c silc:t c:a, \au:itz ·tillc: a:c ·|a:lcs \ag:usso:, a|out acto:s, a|out t|c olc
lilu Iow:. lc tal|cc willi:gl, a:c auusi:gl,. lc acuittcc |c oitc: iou:c |c coulc :ot uttc: a
wo:c a:c t|c: |c wc:t awa, o: |is ow: a:c |it |is |cac agai:st souc wall. W|c: t|c tc:sio: |ac
lcssc:cc, |c wc:t |ac| to t|c sct, i:cquc:tl, wit| a |uu¡ o: t|c |ac| oi |is |cac o: |is io:c|cac.
lc |ac :cvc: t|oug|t c.·e o· ·|.· Ðo,, 1|e t|o-·.¬ co...o¸e o: ue P|. ce·· :!o¡¡e1 wc:c cs¡cciall,
:cua:|a|lc. lc uostl, saw t|c iaili:gs a:c was a::o,cc |, |is ow: slo¡¡i:css a:c lac| oi s|ill. lc
oitc: ua:vcllcc at ·tillc:`s i:solc:t |:illia:cc a:c :cvc: c:caut oi cou¡a:i:g |iuscli wit| |is
collcaguc. lc also tolc us t|at |c was vc:, ¡a:ticula: t|at acto:s i: silc:t iilu s|oulc s¡ca| t|c
wo:cs t|at latc: a¡¡ca:cc i: t|c tcxt ¡a:cls. li¡:caci:g ccaiuutcs |ac |cc: i::itatcc |, t|c tcxts
sa,i:g o:c t|i:g a:c t|c acto:s souct|i:g ciiic:c:t.
lc s¡o|c o¡c:l, a|out |is lovc io: |is latc wiic, lcit| l:astoii, a:c t|c c:aua |c|i:c t|c c:aua
oi 1|e oo·!o« o-1 |.· P.¡e, o:c oi |is classic uovics. lc succc:l, icll silc:t, wc:t i:to :ct:cat a:c
|ccauc cista:t, |is iacc a uas| oi ¡ai:.
lilui:g ¡:og:csscc a:c t|c: o:c ca, wc wc:c to s|oot t|c ii:al scc:c. lsa| lo:g`s g:cat lovc oi
|is ,out| ta|cs |iu to a su::, |illsicc. la: awa,, |c ca: scc |is ¡a:c:ts |cc|o:i:g to |iu. Wc |ac
c|osc: a ¡lacc i: t|c a:ca a:ou:c lilu Iow:. At iivc i: t|c aitc::oo:, t|c su:lig|t s|o:c low ovc:
t|c g:ass a:c uacc t|c io:cst ca:|. Victo: was a:g:, a:c s¡itciul. lc :cui:ccc uc oi u, ¡:ouisc
o: t|c cot oi |ali¡ast iou:, |ouc, |is w|is|,. l a¡¡calcc to |iu. :ot|i:g |cl¡cc. Victo:
stuu¡cc oii. Qua:tc: oi a: |ou: latc:, |c was |ac|. A:c:`t wc goi:g to ta|c t|osc cau:cc scc:cs·
lc was |, :o uca:s i: a |cttc: uooc, |ut |c cic |is cut,. As |c wal|cc t|:oug| t|c su:lit g:ass
wit| li|i i: a lo:g s|ot, |c was g:uu|li:g a:c :c|ccti:g all i:ic:cl, a¡¡:oac|cs. I|c closcu¡ was
:iggcc u¡ a:c |c wc:t to o:c sicc a:c sat wit| |is |cac su:| |ctwcc: |is s|oulcc:s, cisuissi:g
sco::iull, t|c oiic: oi a w|is|, o: t|c s¡ot. W|c: cvc:,t|i:g was :cac,, |c cauc staggc:i:g ovc:,
su¡¡o:tcc |, a ¡:ocuctio: assista:t, cx|austcc |, |is |ac tcu¡c:. I|c cauc:a :a: a:c t|c cla¡¡c:
clac|cc. ·uccc:l, |is iacc o¡c:cc, t|c icatu:cs soitc:i:g, a:c |c |ccauc quict a:c gc:tlc, a
uouc:t oi g:acc. A:c t|c cauc:a was t|c:c. A:c it was :u::i:g. A:c t|c la|o:ato:, cic:`t uuc|
it u¡.
lt st:uc| uc uuc| latc: t|at t|c iuss Victo: c:catcc a:ou:c u, ¡:ouisc oi w|is|, at |ali¡ast
iou: a:c |is sc:ilc a:gc: wc:c :ot|i:g |ut a: u:govc::a|lc ica: oi ii:ci:g |iuscli i:accquatc, oi
|ci:g too ti:cc o: i:cis¡oscc o: siu¡l, :ot gooc c:oug|. l co:`t wa:t to. I|c,`vc :o :ig|t to
ccua:c it. l :cvc: wa:tcc t|c ¡a:t. l was ccccivcc, ¡c:suaccc. :ot agai:, :ot t|c tc::o:, t|c
i:accquac,, :ot all t|at agai:. l`vc :ciuscc o:cc a:c io: all, l co:`t wa:t to a:, uo:c. l co:`t |avc
to, :o o:c ca: ua|c uc. l`u olc a:c ti:cc. lt`s all uca:i:glcss. W|, t|is to:uc:t· Io |cll wit|
,ou all, l wa:t to |c alo:c. l`vc co:c u, |it. lt`s :ut|lcss to |ull, a sic| ua:. l wo:`t |c a|lc to
co¡c, :ot agai:, to |cll wit| ,ou: cau:cc iilui:g. A:c ,ct. l`ll go a:c t:,. I|c,`vc :o o:c to
|lauc |ut t|cusclvcs. lt wo:`t |c gooc, it ca:`t |c gooc. l`ll go o: a:c ¡ut i: a: a¡¡ca:a:cc to
s|ow t|cu l ca:`t a:, lo:gc:, |avc:`t t|c c:c:g,. l`ll s|ow t|at cau:cc s:ott, littlc ¡u¡ t|at ,ou
ca:`t t:cat sic| olc ¡co¡lc a:, olc |ow. lc will |avc ccii:itc co:ii:uatio: oi u, i:a|ilit, w|ic|, i:
|is o¡i:io:, l ccuo:st:atcc o: t|c vc:, ii:st ca,.
lc:|a¡s t|at was w|at |c was t|i:|i:g, t|c |ist:io:ic olc icllow. l cic :ot u:cc:sta:c t|c
co:tc:t oi |is :agc u:til :ow, w|c: l ii:c u,scli i: aluost cxactl, t|c sauc ¡:ccicauc:t. All lig|t
|ca:tcc gaucs a:c i::ct:icva|l, at a: c:c a:c |o:ccou sta:cs uc i: t|c iacc. lca: oi i:a|ilit,
attac|s a:c sa|otagcs a|ilit,. l: t|c ¡ast, l ilcw u:|i:cc:cc a:c liitcc ot|c:s. :ow l :ccc ot|c:s`
c:ccc:cc a:c a¡¡ctitc, ot|c:s will |avc to liit uc io: uc to wis| to il,.
I|c scco:c tiuc wc sta:tcc o: 1|e Ðo-.e .¡ Ðeo·| i: 1-¯·, A:cc:s l|`s lcu|acuia |ac |cc:
co:ii:ucc. lt causcc |iu co:sicc:a|lc ¡ai: w|ic| |c cascc wit| ¡owc:iul c:ugs. lvc:, uouc:t
cist:csscc |iu a:c t|c |ig| ¡oi:t oi t|c ¡la,, t|c ca:cc wit| t|c sa|:c, ¡:ovcc iu¡ossi|lc to
¡c:io:u, so was ¡ut oii i:to t|c iutu:c, as |is cocto: |ac uacc vaguc ¡:ouiscs t|at t|c ¡ai:s woulc
:ccccc as t|c t:catuc:t ¡:og:csscc. ·u: :c|ca:sals wc:c cxt:ao:ci:a:,, t|c |ou:s c:aggi:g alo:g.
Wc all :calizcc t|at t|c w|olc ¡:o|cct was siu¡l, :ot icasi|lc, |ut io: o|vious :caso:s l cic :ot
wa:t A:cc:s l| to quit. :o: cic |c.
Wc |ac wo:|cc sicc |, sicc si:cc t|c |cgi::i:g oi t|c 1-+0.. Wc |ac qua::cllcc a:c i:sultcc
cac| ot|c:, |ac |cc: :cco:cilcc, squa||lcc agai:, ¡a:tcc i: a:gc:, :cg:cttcc it a:c sta:tcc agai:
i:ou t|c |cgi::i:g. 1|e Ðo-.e .¡ Ðeo·| was to |c t|c |ig| ¡oi:t oi ou: colla|o:atio:. I|c ot|c:s i:
t|c cast wc:c oi to¡ qualit,, cs¡cciall, \a:ga:ct|a l:oo| a:c ¡a:·loi ·t:a:c|c:g.
Wit| ciscouio:t a:c g:ici, l was :ow watc|i:g A:cc:s l| i:vcsti:g |is ow: ica: oi ccat| i: t|c
·a¡tai:`s, icc:tii,i:g wit| |iu. ·t:i:c|c:g`s wo:cs, w|ic| ¡:ovicc t|c outli:c oi a cc¡lo:a|lc,
soucw|at couical |,¡oc|o:c:iac, |ccauc i: A:cc:s l|`s i:tc:¡:ctatio: t|c stoicall, co:t:ollcc
|ut o|t:usivc |o::o: oi a ·auu:ai. lt was g|astl,, s|auclcss, |o¡clcss, it uacc ou: wo:| i: t|c
t|cat:c sccu :iciculous.
·:c uo::i:g, l was suuuo:cc to A:cc:s l|`s c:cssi:g :oou. lc was sitti:g at |is ua|cu¡
ta|lc, |is |a:cs s¡:cac ilat, |is iacc g:c, wit| ¡ai: a:c iatiguc, |:ig|tl, illuui:atcc |, t|c autuu:al
lig|t. lc tolc uc |c was givi:g u¡, t|at |is co:sta:t co:suu¡tio: oi ¡ai: |illc:s was co:iusi:g |is
|ucgcuc:t a:c t|at |c :calizcc |c |ac |cc: usi:g |is ow: uo:tal c:cac to ¡o:t:a, t|c ·a¡tai:`s.
lc :c¡:oac|cc uc io: sa,i:g :ot|i:g.
I|c cast a:c l asscu|lcc i: t|c ·i:cuatog:a¡| oiiicc at t|c to¡ oi t|c olc |uilci:g i:sicc t|c
cou:t,a:c. Wc wc:c to go t|:oug| +o·o¬- :.-o·o. l:g:ic lc:gua: :cac |c: ¡a:t i: a so:o:ous voicc
wit| gcstu:cs a:c cx¡:cssio:s. ·|c |ac al:cac, :c|ca:scc it all a:c ccciccc i: i:o:t oi a ui::o: |ow
s|c woulc ¡la, it. I|is was a s|oc|. l got a |cacac|c a:c t|c sc:i¡t gi:l wc:t out i:to t|c co::ico:
a:c wc¡t wit| cisua,. ·o ua:, ialsc i:to:atio:s |ac :ot |cc: |ca:c si:cc t|c 1-!0.. I|c sta: |ac
uacc |c: ow: cclctio:s a:c :ciuscc to sa, :ast, wo:cs.
·|c saic t|c sto:, was :at|c: cull a:c oug|t to |c c|cc:cc u¡ wit| a icw witticisus. W|, a:c
,ou suc| a |o:c w|c: ,ou w:itc, l:gua:· ·t|c:wisc ,ou ca: |c :call, iu::,,` ·|c listc:cc to t|c
·|o¡i: ¡:clucc, w|ic| was to |c a cului:atio: oi t|c ii:st act oi t|c iilu. Goc i: |cavc:, is t|at
cull |it oi uusic to |c ¡la,cc ·«..e· l:gua:, ,ou`:c ..o.,. I|c aucic:cc will iall o·!ee¡. You uig|t at
lcast |avc c|osc: souct|i:g /eoo·.¡o! a:c a littlc s|o:tc:. I|at |it`s so ·e1..o·, it ua|cs uc ,aw: u,
|cac oii.`
l:g:ic lc:gua: was ¡o:t:a,i:g a iauous ¡ia:ist. All ¡ia:ists |avc |ac |ac|ac|c, cxcc¡t ¡ossi|l,
ku|i:stci:. A ¡ia:ist wit| |ac|ac|c li|cs to lic cow: ilat o: t|c iloo:. l wa:tcc l:g:ic to lic o: t|c
iloo: i: o:c oi |c: scc:cs. ·|c laug|cc. You`:c quitc ..o., l:gua: cca:. I|is is a ·e...o· scc:c. l
ca:`t vc:, wcll act a ·e...o· ·.e-e !,.-¸ .- ·|e ¡!.... lt`c |c ·.!!,. I|c aucic:cc will !oo¸|. ·i cou:sc l
|:ow t|c:c`s :ot uuc| to laug| at i: t|is c:caciul sto:,, |ut w|, co ,ou |o·e to ua|c ¡co¡lc laug|
i: t|c w:o:g ¡lacc, |ust tcll uc t|at·`
lilui:g |cga: u:couio:ta|l,.
I|c i:su:a:cc cou¡a:, :ciuscc to i:su:c l:g:ic |ccausc s|c |ac |ac a: o¡c:atio: io: ca:cc:. A
wcc| aitc: iilui:g sta:tcc, wc |ca:c i:ou lo:co:, w|c:c l:g:ic |ac go:c io: a :outi:c c|cc|, t|at
t|c, |ac iou:c uo:c uctastascs a:c t|at s|c s|oulc |c acuittcc iuucciatcl, io: iu:t|c: su:gc:,
a:c :aciatio: t:catuc:t. ·|c saic s|c i:tc:ccc to ii:is| t|c iilu ii:st, a:c t|c: as|cc uattc:oi
iactl, w|ct|c: wc coulc cou¡:css |c: co:t:i|utio: |, a icw ca,s. li t|at ¡:ovcc iu¡ossi|lc, s|c
woulc sta, io: t|c ag:ccc tiuc.
·|c wc:t o: wo:|i:g as ii :ot|i:g |ac |a¡¡c:cc. I|c iuss oi t|c ii:st ca,s |ccauc a cou:agcous
¡:oicssio:al assault. ·|c accuscc uc oi a lac| oi |o:cst, a:c io:ccc uc i:to s¡ca|i:g u, ui:c. l
tolc |c: cxactl, w|at l t|oug|t. Wc qua::cllcc, a:c loo|cc t|:oug| t|c ta|cs as ia: as s|c wis|cc
to.
At t|c sauc tiuc, l:g:ic ciscovc:cc a ¡|c:ouc:o: s|c |ac :cvc: uct |cio:c i: |c: ¡:oicssio:al
liic. lctwcc: t|c ua:, wouc: i: t|c w|olc t:oo¡, st:o:g, i:cc¡c:cc:t, ¡:oicssio:all, a:c
¡:ivatcl, cx¡c:ic:ccc wouc:, t|c:c was a solica:it,, a sistc:|ooc. lati:|a la:ago, |cac oi
¡:ocuctio:, l:gc: lc:sso:, :cs¡o:si|lc io: costuucs, ·ilia D:ott, ua|cu¡, ·,lvia l:gua:sso:, ou:
ccito:, A::a As¡, t|c sct ccsig:c:, lc:sti: l:i|scottc:, t|c sc:i¡t gi:l, u, wiic a:c oiiicc ua:agc:,
a:c liv ullua::, t|c act:css. l:g:ic lc:gua: was c:aw: i:to t|is stu:c, solica:it, wit| g:atitucc,
a:c io: s|o:t s¡clls coulc scttlc i:to a: u:sc:tiuc:tal sistc:l, attac|uc:t.
·|c |c¡t souc st:i¡s oi iilu i:ou |c: c|ilc|ooc a:c u¡|:i:gi:g i: a :ust, ti: s|c |ac ta|c: wit|
|c: all ovc: t|c wo:lc. lc: iat|c: |ac |cc: a ¡|otog:a¡|c: a:c |ac occasio:all, |i:cc a iilu
cauc:a. l: t|c cou:sc oi iou:tcc: ui:utcs, |c: |ouc uovic s|owcc a littlc tocclc: o: |c: lovcl,
uot|c:`s |:cc, a ,ou:g gi:l i: uou::i:g clot|cs at |c: uot|c:`s g:avc, a t|i: gi:l laug|i:g a:c
si:gi:g at a ¡ia:o a:c a ,ou:g woua: suili:g c|a:ui:gl, as s|c watc:cc :oscs |, a g:cc:|ousc.
l:g:ic t:casu:cc |c: iilu a:c l, aitc: souc ciiiicult,, was allowcc to |o::ow it to ua|c :cw
:cgativcs a:c :cw co¡ics oi t|c wo:: a:c ca:gc:ous :it:atc st:i¡.
l:g:ic iaccc |c: ill:css wit| a:gc: a:c iu¡atic:cc, |ut |c: st:o:g |oc, was |:o|c:, |c: sc:scs
c:occc. ·|c was cxt:cucl, cisci¡li:cc i: t|c stucio. ·:cc s|c |ac uacc |c: o¡¡ositio: |:ow:, s|c
usuall, ,iclccc a:c iou:c it stiuulati:g t|at souco:c clsc uacc t|c cccisio:s. ·:c uo::i:g s|c
tu::cc :ou:c violc:tl, a:c sla¡¡cc u, iacc ¡i: iu:·, a:c saic s|c woulc suas| uc to ¡icccs ii l
cic:`t at o:cc tcll |c: |ow t|c scc:c was to |c co:c. lu:ious at |c: asto:is|i:g attac|, l :c¡licc
t|at l |ac as|cc |c: a |u:c:cc tiucs :ot to co a:,t|i:g at all a:c t|at o:l, |looc, auatcu:s t|i:|
t|c, |avc to co souct|i:g cvc:, si:glc uouc:t. ·|c |o|i:gl, |ut s|a:¡l, uoc|cc u, iauc as a
ci:ccto: oi acto:s. l :c¡licc i: t|c sauc to:cs t|at l was so::, io: ¡:ocucc:s w|o |ac to wo:| wit|
|c: cu:i:g t|c ca,s oi |c: iauc. Wc wc:t o: swa¡¡i:g cxc|a:gcs i: t|is st,lc, t|c: wc sta:tcc to
laug| a:c wc:t i:to t|c stucio, w|c:c t|c, |ac |cc: waiti:g wit| souc cu:iosit,. l:g:ic quictc:cc
cow:, |c: c,clics swollc: as ii wit| |clc|ac| tca:s, t|c :igic uas| icll a:c t|c cauc:a :cgistc:cc
t|c iacc oi a suiic:i:g |uua: |ci:g.
A cocuuc:ta:, was uacc oi t|c iilui:g a:c :a: aluost iivc |ou:s w|c: cou¡lctc. ·ix uo:t|s
latc:, l:g:ic cauc to visit us i: la:o. ·|c i:sistcc o: scci:g t|c cocuuc:ta:,, w|ic| was :ot
c:ti:cl, ilattc:i:g. W|c: it was ovc:, s|c sat io: a icw uouc:ts sa,i:g :ot|i:g vc:, u:usual io:
l:g:ic. I|c: s|c saic i: |c: i:iuita|lc to:c oi voicc. l s|oulc |avc scc: t|is |cio:c l sta:tcc
iilui:g.`
·:c aitc::oo: wc wc:c sitti:g i: t|c stucio waiti:g io: t|c sctti:g oi t|c lig|ti:g to |c
cou¡lctcc. lt was scuicus| a:c wc wc:c cac| i: a co::c: oi a s|a||, olc lcat|c: soia. l:g:ic uacc
a gcstu:c vc:, :a:c io: a: act:css s|c :a: |c: |a:c ovc: |c: iacc, scvc:al tiucs. I|c: s|c c:cw a
ccc¡ |:cat| a:c loo|cc at uc, wit|out i:ic:cli:css o: t:,i:g to ua|c co:tact. You |:ow l`u
livi:g o: |o::owcc tiuc.` ·uccc: suilc. lo::owcc tiuc.
·:c oi t|c g:catcst acto:s oi all tiuc, a |:illia:t ¡o:t:a,c: oi i::uuc:a|lc |i:gs, |c:ocs, :ogucs,
livc:s oi lics, couical iools, ·t:i:c|c:g c|a:actc:s a:c uo:c |i:gs, a ¡:occssio: oi uig|t, s|acows
|c|i:c |iu, was suiic:i:g i: |is scvc:t,scvc:t| ,ca: i:ou ci:culatio: t:ou|lc i: |is lcit lcg. A:
o¡c:atio: woulc |c :cccssa:,. lc :ciuscc a:c was scizcc wit| uo:tal c:cac.
lo: |iu, t|c t|cat:c |ac |cc: liic a:c D:auatc: |ac |cc: ·ccu:it,. :ow t|c:c was :ot|i:g |ut
lu¡ti:css |ctwcc: |iu a:c Dcat|. Dcs¡itc co:sicc:a|lc ¡ai:, |c wc:t o: acti:g |is :olcs. Aitc:
o:c ¡:cuic:c, l t|a:|cc |iu io: a :cua:|a|lc ¡c:io:ua:cc. lc sat i: a ci:t, |at|:o|c i: |is
c:cssi:g :oou, |is ua|cu¡ still o: a:c |is |ac lcg u¡ o: a c|ai:.
lc loo|cc at uc i: t|c ui::o: wit| colc co:tcu¡t a:c saic. Io |cll wit| ,ou: cau:cc
i:g:atiatio:. l |:ow w|at ,ou`:c u¡ to.`
I|c |i:gs, t|c villai:s, t|c ·t:i:c|c:g c|a:actc:s, t|c livc:s oi lics a:c t|c couic iools wc:c
sta:ci:g i: silc:cc all a:ou:c |iu. l |ac scc: t|cu si:cc l was a c|ilc. I|c acto:`s |at:cc was as
clca: as c:,stal. l was |, :o uca:s t|c t|cat:c ci:ccto: |:i:gi:g u, ¡:aiscs, |ut a |,¡oc:itical
|asta:c w|o |ac tu::cc |is a:tists` io,c: i:to a lu:c| :oou, w|o |ac |a:is|cc |iu i:ou t|c lig
·tagc to t|c ·uall ·tagc, w|o |ac :ciuscc |iu x.-¸ teo.. l was to |lauc io: |is |lac| a:c |luc ioot.
l was t|c ¡c:so: w|o |ac lct Dcat| out oi t|c ¡:o¡s cu¡|oa:c.
W|c: ¡a:ts a:c ¡c:io:ua:ccs g:acuall, ccascc altogct|c:, |c c:aggcc |iuscli alo:g to t|c
t|cat:c a:c too| u¡ |is ¡ost |, t|c :oticc |oa:c w|ic| cvc:,o:c ¡asscc. lc :agcc awa, li|c
l|iloctctcs, u:s|avc:, u:was|cc a:c c:u:|. Wit| tc::o: s|i:i:g out oi |is |,¡:oticall, |luc c,cs,
|c g:a||cc ¡assc:s|,, |clc t|cu |, t|c colla: a:c s¡u:tcc out |is |at:cc oi litlc:lc:gua:. I|c
silc:cc g:cw uo:c ¡:oiou:c, t|c s|acows |ac :o c,cs, t|c ui::o: was s|attc:cc, t|c i:aguc:ts
:cilccti:g cu¡ti:css. I|c iauilia: vcilcc voicc cc|occ t|:oug| t|c stai:wcll, cvc:,o:c was
cist:csscc, st:uc| cuu|, :o o:c a:swc:cc |iu. Da, aitc: ca, |c stooc t|c:c i: |is last tc::i|lc
¡c:io:ua:cc i: t|c t|cat:c w|c:c |c |ac |cc: |i:g oi all |i:gs, t|c ¡:occssio: oi s|acows
su::ou:ci:g |iu, uutc |ut ciscc::i|lc. I|c ·t:a:gc:. laulct. kic|a:c t|c I|i:c. ·la:cc:.
lic|o:,. I|c lat|c:. l:c:ccl. ·a¡tai: lcga:. ·:i:. ¡aucs I,:o:c. ·cci¡us. lius t|c ·cvc:t|.
I|c ·iiicc:. Gustav Vasa. Go:a: lc:sso:. ·lc \a: luuucl Gustav t|c I|i:c. ·|a:lcs t|c
Iwclit|.

1o
l wc:t to D:auatc: t|c ko,al D:auatic I|cat:c i: ·toc||olu ci:cct i:ou \aluo ·it,
I|cat:c a:c, ccs¡itc a uag:iiicc:t cast, l ua:agcc to co a |ac ¡:ocuctio: oi 1|e :eo co!!, a:c
:cqucstcc lcavc to ccvotc u, tiuc to iilu. l |ac succc:l, |ccouc succcssiul, ca::i:g uo:c,, a:c
u, :cu:osis a|out ii:a:ciall, su¡¡o:ti:g u, va:ious iauilics :claxcc its |olc.
l |ac wca:icc oi u, |o|cuia: cxistc:cc a:c ua::icc la`|i la:ctci, a: u¡ a:c coui:g ¡ia:ist.
Wc uovcc i:to a |a:csouc villa i: D|u:s|olu, w|c:c l i:tc:ccc to livc a wcllo:ga:izcc |ou:gcois
liic. lt was all a :cw a:c |c:oic ¡:ocuctio: w|ic| :a¡icl, tu::cc i:to a :cw a:c |c:oic cisastc:,
two ¡co¡lc c|asi:g aitc: icc:tit, a:c sccu:it, a:c w:iti:g cac| ot|c:`s ¡a:ts, w|ic| t|c, accc¡tcc
i: t|ci: g:cat :ccc to ¡lcasc cac| ot|c:. I|c uas|s quic|l, c:ac|cc a:c icll to t|c g:ou:c i: t|c
ii:st sto:u a:c :cit|c: |ac t|c ¡atic:cc to loo| at t|c ot|c:`s iacc. lot| s|outcc wit| avc:tcc c,cs.
loo| at uc, loo| at uc, |ut :cit|c: saw. I|ci: ciio:ts wc:c i:uitlcss. Iwo lo:cli:csscs wc:c a iact,
iailu:c, a: i:acuissi|lc :calit,. I|c ¡ia:ist wc:t o: tou:, t|c ¡:ocucc: ¡:ocuccc a:c t|c c|ilc was
c:t:ustcc to cou¡ctc:t |a:cs. ·utwa:cl,, t|c ¡ictu:c was oi a sta|lc ua::iagc |ctwcc: succcssiul
co:t:acti:g ¡a:tics. I|c ccco: was tastciul a:c t|c lig|ti:g wcll a::a:gcc.
·:c aitc::oo:, t|c \i:istc: oi lcucatio: tclc¡|o:cc t|c cciti:g :oou a:c as|cc uc ii l woulc
li|c to |c t|c ci:ccto: oi t|c ko,al D:auatic I|cat:c. Wc uct a:c |c |:is|l, cx¡lai:cc |is :cqucst.
lc wa:tcc uc to ua|c a uocc:: t|cat:c out oi D:auatc:. I:uc, it was uag:iiicc:t, |ut its
o:ga:izatio: a:c acui:ist:atio: wc:c out oi catc. l ¡oi:tcc out t|at t|is woulc cost uo:c,. I|c
\i:istc: :c¡licc t|at ii l too| o: t|c |o|, |e woulc ¡a,. lg:o:a:t oi t|c cxt:cucl, :clativc lo,alt, oi
¡oliticia:s to t|ci: wo:c, l cic :ot as| io: w:ittc: co:ii:uatio: oi t|is ¡:ouisc, |ut assu:cc |iu l
woulc co u, |cst a:c t|at t|c:c was su:c to |c a gooc ccal oi iuss. I|c \i:istc: t|oug|t t|is
sou:ccc a: cxccllc:t ccsc:i¡tio: oi u, ¡:og:auuc, so l |ccauc t|c ci:ccto: oi t|c ko,al
D:auatic I|cat:c.
l iuagi:c t|c vc:, ii:st :cactio: wit|i: t|c t|cat:c was :at|c: iavou:a|lc. lt is t:uc t|at t|c |oa:c
wc:c u:g:acious, io: t|c,, togct|c: wit| t|c outgoi:g ci:ccto:, |ac ¡:o¡oscc souco:c clsc, |ut
t|c, swallowcc t|ci: a::o,a:cc a:c :cccivcc uc wit| iu¡c:ct:a|lc cou:tcs,.
lo: tactical :caso:s, t|c outgoi:g ci:ccto: |ac |c¡t |is :cti:cuc:t scc:ct as lo:g as ¡ossi|lc, so l
|ac a uc:c six uo:t|s to ¡:c¡a:c u, ii:st scaso:. l was also ticc to a la:gc ¡:ocuctio: io: tclcvisio:
i: t|c s¡:i:g as wcll as a iilu i: t|c suuuc:.
I|c o:ga:izatio: at u, cis¡osal at t|c t|cat:c cic:`t iu:ctio:. I|c:c was vi:tuall, :o 1.o¬o·o.¸
;a:tistic acvisc:, cc¡a:tuc:t a:c t|c six ¡c:ua:c:t ¡:ocucc:s ccciccc o: a waita:cscc ¡olic,. ·o
:caci:g ¡la,s, cccici:g o: t|c :c¡c:toi:c, c:awi:g u¡ co:t:acts a:c ¡la::i:g ¡:ovcc to |c a toug|
a:c lo:cl, |usi:css.
·:c oi u, ii:st oiiicial ucasu:cs was to ccuoc:atizc` t|c cccisio:ua|i:g ¡:occsscs. Wit| t|c
Vic::a l|il|a:uo:ic as a uoccl, wc sct u¡ a: clcctcc :c¡:csc:tativc |oc, co:sisti:g oi iivc acto:s,
togct|c: wit| t|c t|cat:c ci:ccto:, t|c, wc:c to :u: t|c t|cat:c, |c :cs¡o:si|lc io: t|c :c¡c:toi:c,
c:gagc t|c acto:s a:c ta|c ¡a:t i: casti:g. I|c, wc:c to |c iull, i:io:ucc oi t|c t|cat:c`s ii:a:ccs
a:c acui:ist:atio:. ·|oulc t|c:c |c co:t:ovc:s,, a |allot woulc |c ta|c: i: w|ic| cvc:,o:c,
i:cluci:g t|c ci:ccto:, |ac a votc. I|is :c¡:csc:tativc |oc, woulc i: its tu:: |c :cs¡o:si|lc to t|c
cou¡a:,. l: t|at wa, |ac|:oou ¡olitics, ialsc :uuou:s a:c i:t:igucs woulc |c cliui:atcc.
I|c acto:s :cccivcc u, suggcstio:s wit| souc |csitatio:. lt is alwa,s uo:c couio:ta|lc to
:cuai: ¡assivc a:c cou¡lai: a|out cccisio:s |ci:g ta|c: ovc: o:c`s |cac. \a:, oi t|cu cx¡:csscc
a¡¡:c|c:sio: a|out ou: acto:s` asscu|l,, a¡¡:c|c:sio:s w|ic| soo: cissolvcc. lt tu::cc out t|at
t|c :c¡:csc:tativc |oc, s|oulcc:cc its :cs¡o:si|ilitics a:c too| a sc:ious ¡a:t i: t|c :u::i:g oi t|c
t|cat:c. l: a su:¡:isi:gl, o||cctivc wa,, it was ¡ossi|lc to cis:cga:c o:c`s ow: acva:tagc a:c
:a::ow cgoistic vicw¡oi:t a:c loo| at o:c`s collcagucs wit| |ala:ccc acutc:css a:c i:sig|t. A
ci:ccto: st:o:g c:oug| to wo:| wit| t|c :c¡:csc:tativcs |ac t|ci: i:valua|lc su¡¡o:t o:
c:iticisu.
\ca:w|ilc, t|c acui:ist:atio: was u:cc:staiicc a:c ovc:wo:|cc. I|c t|cat:c ci:ccto:`s
scc:cta:, was also t|c ¡:css oiiicc:. I|c costuuc stucios wc:c cisi:tcg:ati:g a:c t|c ¡c:ua:c:t
stagc ccsig:c:s wc:c ill o: alco|olics. ·ouuu:icatio: was a: u:|:ow: co:cc¡t.
I|c la:gc :cstau:a:t i: t|c t|cat:c was :oto:ious io: its g|astl, iooc a:c cu|ious clic:tclc.
Iogct|c: wit| t|c \i:istc:, wc i:s¡cctcc t|c ¡:cuiscs. l: t|c ucatcutti:g :oou, t|c c:ai: was
|loc|cc. t|c:c wc:c scvc:al i:c|cs oi watc: o: t|c iloo: a:c iat g:c, wo:uli|c c:c:ustatio:s oi a
:c¡ulsivc co:sistc:c, o: t|c tilcc walls.
Wc uovcc t|c :cstau:a:t out a:c wc uovcc ou:sclvcs i:. lvc:,t|i:g was :u: cow:, ci:t,,
u:ua:agca|lc. l:cvious :c:ovatio:s |ac |a:cl, iu¡:ovcc t|i:gs. W|c: t|c uo:c, |ac :u: out,
t|c |uilci:g couuittcc |ac ccascc wo:|i:g, so vc:tilatio: ¡i¡cs i:ou t|c c:css ci:clc lavato:ics
cauc out |ust |c|i:c t|c io,c: oi t|c u¡¡c: ci:clc i:stcac oi |ci:g cqui¡¡cc wit| suctio: ia:s u¡ to
t|c outc: :ooi. I|c stc:c| w|c: t|c wi:c was i: cc:tai: ci:cctio:s was uo:c t|a: :oticca|lc.
l:ou t|c a:tistic vicw¡oi:t, t|c:c wc:c also ¡ai:iul ciiiicultics. ·:c oi t|c uost acutc
¡:o|lcus was ·loi \ola:cc:. lo: cccaccs |c |ac |cc: t|c t|cat:c`s g:a:c uastc: i: ¡c:¡ctual
:ival:, wit| Ali ·|o|c:g. lc was :ow ovc: scvc:t,. Agci:g |ac accc:tuatcc |is u:casc, |is
¡c:icctio:isu, |is ccua:cs o: acto:s a:c collcagucs. lc |ac |ccouc a to:uc:tcc ua: w|o
to:uc:tcc ot|c:s.
lis ¡:ocuctio:s cxcccccc all t|c sc|cculcs a:c, |ccausc oi |is tcu¡c:, |c t| :cw t|c t|cat:c
i:to a statc oi icvc:cc co:iusio: w|ic| was :ot c:cativc |ut ccst:uctivc. :o o:c cis¡utcc |is
|:illia:cc, |ut uo:c a:c uo:c ¡co¡lc :ciuscc to coo¡c:atc.
I|c |oa:c gavc uc t|c tas| oi tclli:g \ola:cc: t|at |is activitics at t|c t|cat:c wc:c to ccasc.
l |ac as|cc |, lcttc: io: a uccti:g. lc c|osc to couc to u, oiiicc.
As alwa,s, |c was clcga:tl, c:csscc i: a wcll¡:csscc suit, cazzli:g w|itc s|i:t, ca:| tic a:c
¡olis|cc s|ocs. lc |ac |:o|c: a ii:gc: :ail o: |is |cautiiul w|itc |a:c a:c t|is was i::itati:g |iu
slig|tl,. lis ic, clca: gazc was iixcc o: a ¡oi:t soucw|c:c |c,o:c u, :ig|t ca:, t|c |cav, ·acsa:
li|c |cac i:cli:cc slig|tl, to o:c sicc, a:c |c was suili:g aluost iu¡c:cc¡ti|l,.
I|c situatio: was g:otcsquc. \ola:cc: was t|c ua: oi t|c t|cat:c w|o |ac s|ow: uc t|c
i::c:uost uagic oi c:aua, a:c t|:oug| |iu l |ac :cccivcc u, ii:st a:c st:o:gcst iu¡ulscs. I|c
|oa:c`s assig:uc:t succc:l, st:uc| uc as |ci:g iu¡ossi|lc to ca::, out. lcsiccs, |c |cga: to tal|
a|out |is ¡la:s io: t|c :cxt scaso:. all t|:cc ¡a:ts oi 1. Ðo¬o·.o· o: t|c ·uall ·tagc, wit| a icw
acto:s a:c a |c:c| as t|c o:l, ccco:. As |c s¡o|c, |c ii:gc:cc |is |:o|c: :ail. lc suilcc, |is c,cs
iixcc o: t|c wall. lt succc:l, st:uc| uc t|at |c |ac souc icca oi w|at was to couc a:c was acti:g
a scc:c w|ic| woulc ua|c it cvc: uo:c ¡ai:iul.
Docto: \ola:cc:, l au s¡ca|i:g o: |c|ali oi t|c |oa:c,` l saic.
lc loo|cc at uc io: t|c ii:st tiuc a:c i:tc::u¡tcc uc. ·: |c|ali oi t|c |oa:c, ,ou sa,· Do:`t
,ou t|i:| a:,t|i:g io: ,ou:scli·`
l :c¡licc t|at l s|a:cc t|c |oa:c`s vicw.
A:c w|at ua, l as| is t|c |oa:c`s vicw, \: lc:gua:·` lis suilc g:cw a t:iilc uo:c co:cial.
l |avc to tcll ,ou, Docto: \ola:cc: t|at ,ou will :ot |c ¡utti:g o: a:, ¡:ocuctio:s i: t|is
t|cat:c :cxt scaso:.`
I|c suilc iaccc, t|c |ig |cac tu::cc to t|c :ig|t, t|c vc:, w|itc |a:c still occu¡icc wit| t|c
|:o|c: ii:gc::ail.
·|, is t|at so·` I|c: silc:cc icll.
l t|oug|t. I|is is ¡:c¡ostc:ous a:c lu ua|i:g a tc::i|lc uista|c. I|is ua: will :cuai: at t|c
D:auatic I|cat:c, cvc: ii it |:ca|s us. l`u coi:g w:o:g. I|is is w:o:g, a i:ig|tiul uista|c.
You: cccisio: will causc ,ou souc u:¡lcasa:t:css. lavc ,ou co:sicc:cc t|at, \: lc:gua:·`
You`vc |cc: a t|cat:c ci:ccto: ,ou:scli, Docto: \ola:cc:,` l saic. ªl:ou w|at l |:ow oi t|c
|isto:, oi t|c t|cat:c, ,ou ,ou:scli |avc ta|c: a g:cat ua:, u:¡lcasa:t cccisio:s.`
lc :occcc a:c suilcc. I|c ¡:css wo:`t a¡¡:ovc oi ,ou: :cw i:itiativc, \: lc:gua:.`
l`u :ot sca:cc oi t|c ¡:css,` l saic. l: iact, l au :ot ¡a:ticula:l, sca:cc at all, Docto:
\ola:cc:.`
·|, a:c:`t ,ou·` |c saic calul,, loo|i:g at uc. ·o:g:atulatio:s. l: t|at casc ,ou: iilus a:c
vc:, clcvc: i:vc:tio:s.`
lc got u¡ quic|l,. Wc |avc :ot|i:g clsc to sa, to cac| ot|c:, |avc wc·`
l wo:cc:cc w|ct|c: l coulc sta:t agai: i:ou t|c |cgi::i:g a:c ig:o:c t|c cauagc. :o, it was
too latc :ow, a:c l |ac uacc u, ii:st tc::ii,i:g uista|c as t|cat:c ci:ccto:. ,
l |clc out u, |a:c to sa, gooc|,c. lc cic :ot ta|c it. l`ll |c w:iti:g to t|c |oa:c,` |c saic, a:c
lcit.
I:acitio:all,, t|c ci:ccto: oi t|c D:auatc: is i:volvcc i: all cccisio:s i:ou ua|o: to
uic:osco¡ic o:cs. lt |ac alwa,s |cc: li|c t|at a:c :cuai:s so still, ccs¡itc |oi:t cccisio:ua|i:g
a:c a ¡c:ua:c:t |u::ica:c oi uccti:gs. I|c D:auatc: is a |o¡clcssl, aut|o:ita:ia: csta|lis|uc:t
a:c t|c ci:ccto: |as g:cat o¡¡o:tu:itics to s|a¡c its cxtc::al a:c i:tc::al activitics. l li|cc t|c
¡owc:. lt tastcc gooc a:c was stiuulati:g. ·: t|c ot|c: |a:c, u, ¡:ivatc liic ccvclo¡cc i:to a
so¡|isticatcc catast:o¡|c, |ut l avoiccc cvc: co:tcu¡lati:g it |, |ci:g at t|c t|cat:c i:ou cig|t i:
t|c uo::i:g u:til clcvc: at :ig|t. Du:i:g u, io:t,two uo:t|s as ci:ccto:, l cic scvc:
¡:ocuctio:s, two iilus a:c w:otc iou: sc:i¡ts.
Wc all t|:cw ou:sclvcs i:to t|c wo:|. Wc ¡ut o: twc:t,two ¡la,s cu:i:g t|c ,ca:, :i:ctcc:
o: t|c lig ·tagc a:c t|:cc i: t|c ·|i:a I|cat:c, t|c t|cat:c io: ,ou:g ¡co¡lc.
I|c acto:s` sala:ics wc:c ¡oo:. l i:c:cascc t|cu |, a: avc:agc oi +0 ¡c: cc:t, as l co:sicc:cc a:
acto: to |c at lcast as usciul as a cu:atc o: a |is|o¡. l i:stigatcc o:c wcc| oii, cu:i:g w|ic|
:c|ca:sals a:c ¡c:io:ua:ccs wc:c ¡:o|i|itcc. I|c |a:cwo:|i:g acto:s wc:c ¡lcascc a:c uscc
t|osc ca,s io: uoo:lig|ti:g.
Io sta:t wit|, u, ucasu:cs wc:c uct wit| a co:iuscc silc:cc, |ut t|c o¡¡ositio: o:ga:izcc
itscli i: a sullc: a:c ·wccis| wa,, t|cat:c ci:ccto:s clscw|c:c i: t|c cou:t:, uccti:g at t|c Golcc:
·ttc: :cstau:a:t to ciscuss w|at l was u¡ to. A iastcx¡a:ci:g t|cat:c |:i:gs c:iticisu o: itscli io:
o|vious :caso:s, a:c souco:c sta:tcc lca|i:g i:io:uatio: to t|c cvc:i:g ¡a¡c:s. ·u: sc|ool
t|cat:c was c:iticizcc io: ¡c:io:ui:g i: t|c ·|i:a I|cat:c a:c ou: c|ilc:c:`s t|cat:c |ccausc it
was ¡c:io:ucc o: t|c lig ·tagc. Wc cic too uuc|, too littlc, too oitc:, too sclcou, too ua:,
classics, too uuc| t|at was :cw. Wc wc:c accuscc oi :ot ¡utti:g o: c:oug| uocc:: ·wccis|
c:aua, a:c w|c: wc ¡ut o: uo:c uocc:: .·wccis| c:aua, it was to:: to s|:ccs. All t|is |as |csct
ou: :atio:al t|cat:c t|:oug|out t|c cc:tu:ics, a:c :ot|i:g ca: |c co:c a|out it.
l co:`t :call, |:ow w|at it was li|c. l t|i:| it was iu: i: a sa:c wa,, |ot| awiul a:c iu:. l
:cucu|c: oitc: iccli:g ill wit| a:xict,, |ut at t|c sauc tiuc l iclt a |u::i:g cu:iosit, io: cac| :cw
ca,. l :cucu|c: cliu|i:g u¡ to u, couua:c |:icgc, t|c :a::ow woocc: stai:s u¡ to t|c
scc:cta:,`s a:c ci:ccto:`s :oou, wit| a uixcc sc:sc oi ¡a:ic a:c c|cc:iul:css. l lca::t t|at
cvc:,t|i:g was a uattc: oi liic a:c ccat|, |ut :ot ¡a:ticula:l, iu¡o:ta:t, t|at :caso: a:c
uisu:cc:sta:ci:g wc:t |a:c i: |a:c li|c ·iaucsc twi:s, t|at i: acvc:sit, t|c o:ci:a:, iixcc
¡:o¡o:tio: oi iailu:c ¡:ccoui:atcs a:c lac| oi sclico:iicc:cc is t|c uost ca:gc:ous t|i:g i: t|c
wo:lc, t|at t|c ccsi:c to givc u¡ aiiccts cvc: t|c st:o:gcst, a:c t|at t|c cail, g:uu|li:g w|ic| :u:s
li|c a |uuui:g :otc t|:oug| ccili:gs a:c walls :c¡:csc:ts a |i:c oi sccu:it,. Wc sc:cau a:c
cou¡lai: a:c uoa:, |ut wc oitc: laug|.
l:ou a st:ictl, ¡:oicssio:al ¡oi:t oi vicw, u, ,ca:s as t|cat:c ci:ccto: wc:c wastcc. l cic :ot
ccvclo¡ :o: cic l |avc a:, tiuc to t|i:|, a:c l was alwa,s :cac|i:g |ac|wa:cs io: al:cac, ¡:ovc:
solutio:s. W|c: l got to t|c stagc at |ali¡ast tc:, u, |cac was iull oi t|c t|cat:c`s uo::i:g
¡:o|lcus. Aitc: t|c :c|ca:sal, a¡¡oi:tuc:ts a:c uccti:gs coulc |c cx¡cctcc u:til lo:g i:to t|c
cvc:i:g.
l t|i:| l|sc:`s ue11o co/!e. was t|c o:l, o:c oi u, ¡:ocuctio:s t|at gavc uc a:, satisiactio:.
lvc:,t|i:g clsc was ¡atc|wo:|, co:c i: too uuc| oi a |u::,. I|c :cal :caso: w|, l co:cc::cc
u,scli wit| ue11o was t|at Gc:t:uc l:ic|, o:c oi ·wccis| t|cat:c`s ua:, |:illia:t wouc:, |ac :o
lcaci:g ¡a:t t|at autuu:. Wit| cc:tai: :clucta:cc, l sct a|out t|c ¡la,. W|ilc l was wo:|i:g o: it,
t|c iacc oi its wca:, su¡:cuc a:c|itcct was u:uas|cc a:c l :calizcc l|sc: livcc ccs¡c:atcl,
c:ta:glcc i: |is iu::is|i:gs, |is cx¡la:atio:s, |is a:tistic |ut ¡cca:ticall, co:st:uctcc scc:cs, |is
cu:tai: li:cs, |is a:ias a:c cucts. All t|is |ul|, cxtc::al luu|c: |ic a: o|scssio: io: sclicx¡osu:c
ia: uo:c ¡:oiou:c t|a: ·t:i:c|c:g`s.
Iowa:cs t|c c:c oi ou: ii:st scaso:, acvc:sitics |cga: to ua|c t|cusclvcs iclt. ·u: wo:lc
¡:cuic:c oi la::, \a:ti:so:`s 1|.ee x-.·e· ¡..¬ Pe., ¡ut o: cu:i:g t|c soucw|at ciiiusc
·toc||olu lcstival, was a total iailu:c. I|c ¡:cuic:c oi u, iilu coucc, :.« +/.o· 1|e·e P.¬e-
cauc a icw ca,s latc: a:c was a co:vi:ci:g a:c wcllccsc:vcc iiasco.
I|c suuuc: was |ot. :cit|c: u, wiic, la`|i, :o: l iclt li|c |u:ti:g io: a |olica, |ousc, so wc
sta,cc i: D|u:s|olu, ¡a:al,zcc |, t|c |cav, t|u:cc:, |cat a:c ou: ow: ccs¡o:cc:c,.
l :otcc i: u, i:tc:uittc:t cia:,. liic |as ¡:cciscl, t|c valuc o:c ¡uts o: it,` u:cou|tccl, a
|a:al wa, oi ¡utti:g t|i:gs |ut, to uc, suc| i:sig|t was so |:cat|lcssl, :cw l coulc :ot iu¡lcuc:t
it.
\, ¡c:ua:c:t assista:t, Iiu, |ac a ciiiicult suuuc:. lc |ac |cc: a ca:cc: i: t|c \aluo
I|cat:c lallct. lccausc oi |is suall statu:c a:c i: s¡itc oi |is s|ill, |c :cvc: ac|icvcc a:, oi t|c
ua|o: :olcs, so w|c: |c was io:t, |c :cti:cc o: a ¡c:sio:. l cu¡lo,cc |iu as a: assista:t, io: liic
|ac |ccouc vc:, cou¡licatcc aitc: u, i:tc::atio:al |:ca|t|:oug| as a iiluua|c:. ·ouco:c |ac to
a:swc: t|c ¡|o:c a:c w:itc lcttc:s, souco:c |ac to scc to ¡a,uc:ts a:c accou:ts, souco:c |ac to
loo| aitc: t|c |asic o:ga:izatio:, a:c souco:c |ac to ta|c t|c t:ou|lc to |c u, :ig|t |a:c.
lc was a :cat ¡c:so: wit| a |ig| io:c|cac, c,cc |ai:, a: clcga:t t|i: :osc a:c wicco¡c:
c|ilcli|c |luc c,cs wit| lo:g c,clas|cs. lis uout| was a ¡alc li:c, |ut :ot |ittc:. lc was
cou:tcous, swiitto:gucc a:c gooc|uuou:cc, o|scsscc |, t|cat:c, |ut cisgustcc |, uccioc:it,.
lc livcc |a¡¡il, wit| a ualc i:ic:c w|o was ua::icc a:c |ac scvc:al c|ilc:c:. I|c wiic, a wisc
woua:, ¡c:uittcc a:c c:cou:agcc t|c :clatio:s|i¡. Io uc, Iiu was i:cis¡c:sa|lc a:c ou:
:clatio:s|i¡ :cuai:cc :clativcl, u:cou¡licatcc. I:agcc, ccscc:ccc succc:l, a:c u:cx¡cctccl,.
lis i:ic:c icll i: lovc clscw|c:c a:c Iiu was cxcluccc i:ou t|c sccu:c icllows|i¡ oi iauil, a:c
:cgula: cou¡a:io:s|i¡. lc |u:tlcc |caclo:g i:to a swau¡ oi alco|olisu, c:ug a|usc a:c scxualit,
oi t|c uost |:utal |i:c. lovc a:c closc:css tu::cc i:to lcc|c:,, ¡:ostitutio: a:c u:cisguiscc
cx¡loitatio:. I|is :cat, ¡u:ctual, cutiiul ua: sta:tcc :cglccti:g |is wo:| a:c tu::cc u¡ o¡c:l,
wit| ¡cculia: c|a:actc:s w|o ualt:catcc |iu.
·ouctiucs |c woulc |c awa, io: scvc:al ca,s, souctiucs |c ¡|o:cc ¡lcaci:g gast:ic ilu,
alwa,s gast:ic ilu. l t:icc to ¡c:suacc |iu to scc| ¡s,c|iat:ic |cl¡, |ut |c woulc:`t. I|c wicc
o¡c: c,cs tu::cc liiclcss a:c :cc:iuucc, t|c :a::ow uout| uo:c a:c uo:c |ittc:, |is ua|cu¡
uo:c a:c uo:c slo¡¡,, |is |ai:c,c ¡cclcc oii a:c |is clot|cs sta:| oi ciga:cttc suo|c a:c
¡c:iuuc. Ga,s |avc :o lo,alt, |ccausc wc ca:`t |avc c|ilc:c:. Do:`t ,ou t|i:| l`c |avc uacc
quitc a gooc uot|c:· Wc`:c io:ccc to livc wit| ou: :oscs s|ovcc so ia: cow: i: t|c s|it, wc c|o|c.
:ot cxactl, lovc a:c closc:css, o: w|at co ,ou t|i:|· l co:`t |clicvc i: salvatio:. :o, a iull uout|
a:c a |it u¡ t|c a:sc, t|at`s u, gos¡cl. \a,|c it`s |cttc: io: us |ot| t|at wc`vc :cvc: |ac a:, |i:c
oi ¡|,sical i:ic:cs|i¡. I|at woulc o:l, c:catc |calous, a:c c:uit,, |ut it`s a ¡it, ,ou :cvc: wa:t to
t:, i: t|c vc:, slig|tcst. A:,|ow, l`u t|c |cttc: oii oi t|c two oi us |ccausc l`u |ot| woua: a:c
ua:. A:c l`u cau:cc wcll uuc| |:ig|tc: t|a: ,ou a:c.`
Iiu cicc o:c ·u:ca, uo::i:g w|ilc ua|i:g |is |:ca|iast, c:csscc i: a ¡la, suit, wit| Do:alc
Duc| o: |is |itc|c: a¡:o:. lc icll a:c la, t|c:c, ¡:csuua|l, ccac wit|i: scco:cs. A gooc ccat|
io: a |:avc littlc ua: w|o was uuc| uo:c ai:aic oi uc:ciiul ccat| t|a: |cstial liic.
Ali ·|o|c:g |ac c|osc: tall ,ou:g wouc: io: t|c c|o:us i: +!.e··.·, auo:g t|cu t|c ¡:ouisi:g
\a:ga:ct|a l,st:ou w|o |ac |ust g:acuatcc i:ou ou: c:aua sc|ool. A:ot|c: ¡:ocucc: wa:tcc |c:
i: a ua|o: ¡a:t. l a:|it:a:il, t:a:sic::cc |c:, wit|out as|i:g ·|o|c:g, t|c cccisio: was a¡¡:ovcc |,
t|c :c¡:csc:tativc |oc,, t|c cast list ¡i::cc o: t|c :oticc |oa:c. A icw |ou:s latc:, t|c:c was a
:oa:i:g sou:c w|ic| ¡c:ct:atcc :ig|t t|:oug| t|c cou|lc coo:s as wcll as t|c wclli:sulatcc uct:c
t|ic| walls oi t|c ci:ccto:`s :oou. I|c: cauc a:ot|c: c:as| a:c a |cllow. l: cauc Ali ·|o|c:g,
w|itc wit| :agc, ccua:ci:g t|at l iuucciatcl, :ci:statc \a:ga:ct|a l,st:ou. l saic t|at was
iu¡ossi|lc, t|at s|c was to |avc a :cal c|a:cc at last a:c also t|at l cic :ot givc wa, to |ull,i:g.
·|o|c:g saic |c woulc :ow at last ¡u:c| u, :osc, l :ct:catcc |c|i:c t|c |oa:c ta|lc a:c saic
souct|i:g a|out |looc, ¡casa:t ua::c:s. I|c iu:ious ¡:ocucc: :cs¡o:ccc t|at l |ac wo:|cc
agai:st |iu si:cc t|c vc:, ii:st ca, a:c t|c liuit |ac :ow |cc: :cac|cc. l wc:t u¡ to |iu a:c as|cc
|iu to |it uc at o:cc ii |c t|oug|t t|at so:t oi a:guuc:t was a:, usc. l ua:agcc to ac|icvc a
i:ig|tc:cc suilc. ·|o|c:g`s iacc was t:cu|li:g, |is w|olc |oc, s|a|i:g, a:c wc wc:c |ot|
|:cat|i:g |cavil,. lc saic t|at :ow l woulc |avc to ca:cc so t|at u, s|i:t ilcw. At t|at uouc:t,
wc |ot| :calizcc |ow i:sa:cl, couic t|c situatio: was, |ut it was a lo:g wa, i:ou laug|tc:.
·|o|c:g sat cow: o: t|c :ca:cst c|ai: a:c as|cc |ow two :clativcl, wcll |:oug|tu¡ uc: coulc
|c|avc so icioticall,. l ¡:ouiscc l woulc givc |iu |ac| \a:ga:ct|a l,st:ou ii t|c :c¡:csc:tativc
|oc, ¡c:uittcc t|c c|a:gc. lc uacc a co:tcu¡tuousl, cisuissivc gcstu:c a:c lcit t|c :oou. I|c
:cxt tiuc wc uct, wc cic :ot uc:tio: t|c uattc:. Aitc: t|at wc |ac violc:t cisag:ccuc:ts, |ot|
a:tistic a:c ¡c:so:al, |ut wc alwa,s t:catcc cac| ot|c: wit| cou:tcs, a:c wit|out :a:cou:.
l wc:t to t|c ko,al D:auatic I|cat:c io: t|c ii:st tiuc i: u, liic at ·|:istuas i: 1-!0. I|c,
wc:c coi:g Gci|c:stau`s iai:,talc ¡la, i.¸ x!o· o-1 t.··!e x!o·. I|c ¡:ocucc: was Ali ·|o|c:g, t|c:
twc:t,scvc: ,ca:s olc, a:c it was |is scco:c ¡:ocuctio:. l :cucu|c: cvc:, cctail, t|c lig|ts, t|c
sct, t|c su::isc ovc: t|c suall clvcs i: :atio:al costuuc, t|c |oat o: t|c :ivc:, t|c olc c|u:c| wit|
·t lctc: as coo:|cc¡c:, t|c c:ossscctio: oi t|c |ousc. l was sitti:g i: t|c scco:c :ow oi t|c u¡¡c:
ci:clc, :ca:cst to t|c cxit coo:. ·ccasio:all,, ovc: t|c ,ca:s, i: t|c quict |ou: at t|c t|cat:c
|ctwcc: :c|ca:sals a:c t|c cvc:i:g ¡c:io:ua:cc, l uscc to go a:c sit i: u, olc scat a:c givc i: to
:ostalgia, iccli:g wit| cvc:, |cat oi u, ¡ulsc t|at t|is iu¡:actical a:c iaccc ¡lacc was :call, u,
|ouc. I|is g:cat aucito:iuu l,i:g i: silc:cc a:c scuica:|:css was aitc: g:cat |csitatio:, l
t|i:| oi w:iti:g t|c |cgi::i:g a:c t|c c:c a:c aluost cvc:,t|i:g i: |ctwcc:`. lt loo|s sill, a:c
cxaggc:atcc i: ¡:i:t, |ut l ca:`t ii:c a |cttc: wa, oi ¡utti:g it t|c |cgi::i:g a:c t|c c:c a:c
aluost cvc:,t|i:g i: |ctwcc:.
Ali ·|o|c:g o:cc tolc uc t|at |c :cvc: :ccccc a :ulc: w|c: |c was ucasu:i:g stagc su:iaccs to
c:aw a s|ctc| oi a scc:c. lis |a:c |:cw t|c cxact scalc.
·o |c sta,cc o: at D:auatc: i:ou |is cc|ut as a ¡assio:atc ,ou:g acto: ;|is tcac|c:, \a:ia
·c|ilc|:cc|t saic. lc was a vc:, giitcc ,ou:g acto:, |ut |c was so cau:cc laz, |c |ccauc a
¡:ocucc:`,. lc :cuai:cc u:til |c cicc, o:l, two o: t|:cc tiucs goi:g to ot|c: t|cat:cs as gucst
¡:ocucc:, |ut li:gc:i:g o: at D:auatc:, w|c:c |c |ccauc its ¡:i:cc a:c ¡:iso:c:. l co:`t t|i:|
l`vc cvc: uct a:,o:c wit| suc| o|vious violc:t co:t:acictio:s wit|i: |iuscli. lis iacc was a
¡u¡¡ct`s uas|, co:t:ollcc |, will a:c :ut|lcss c|a:u. lc|i:c t|at cctc:ui:cc i:o:t, social
i:sccu:it,, i:tcllcctual ¡assio:, scli|:owlccgc, sclicccc¡tio:, cou:agc a:c cowa:cicc, |lac|
|uuou: a:c ccacl, sc:ious:css, gc:tlc:css a:c |:utalit,, iu¡atic:cc a:c c:clcss ¡atic:cc ioug|t
cac| ot|c: o: |lc:ccc i: |a:uo:,. li|c all ¡:ocucc:s, |c also actcc t|c ¡a:t oi a ¡:ocucc:, as |c
was a giitcc acto:, t|c ¡c:io:ua:cc was co:vi:ci:g.
l :cvc: t:icc to cou¡ctc wit| ·|o|c:g. l: t|c t|cat:c |c was u, su¡c:io:, a iact l accc¡tcc
wit|out :a:cou:. Io uc, |is i:tc:¡:ctatio:s oi ·|a|cs¡ca:c covc:cc cvc:,t|i:g a:c l |ac :ot|i:g
clsc to acc. lc |:cw uo:c t|a: l cic a:c |ac loo|cc uo:c ccc¡l,, t|c: :cc:catcc w|at |c saw.
lis gc:c:osit, oitc: gavc :isc to uca: a:c ¡ctt,ui:ccc c:iticisu. l |ac :o icca |c was |u:t |,
suc| g:c, wiau¡c:i:g.
lc was ¡:o|a|l, uost ccc¡l, aiicctcc |, ou: ¡:ovi:cial cultu:al :cvolutio: cu:i:g t|c
i:tc::atio:al wavc oi stucc:t u::cst. u:li|c uc, ·|o|c:g was ¡oliticall, couuittcc a:c s¡o|c
¡assio:atcl, a|out t|cat:c as a wca¡o:. W|c: t|c uovcuc:t |lcw i: ovc: D:auatc:, |c wa:tcc to
ua: t|c |a::icaccs togct|c: wit| t|c ,ou:g. lis |ittc::css was g:cat w|c: |c iou:c |iuscli
:caci:g t|at t|c D:auatc: s|oulc |c |u::t to t|c g:ou:c a:c ·|o|c:g a:c lc:gua: s|oulc |c
|a:gcc i:ou t|c Io::|c:g cloc| outsicc i: :,|:o¡la:.
lt is ¡ossi|lc souc |:avc :csca:c|c: will o:c ca, i:vcstigatc |ust |ow uuc| cauagc was co:c to
ou: cultu:al liic |, t|c 1-o· uovcuc:t. lt is ¡ossi|lc, |ut |a:cl, li|cl,. Ioca,, i:ust:atcc
:cvolutio:a:ics still cli:g to t|ci: ccs|s i: ccito:ial oiiiccs a:c tal| |ittc:l, a|out t|c :c:cwal t|at
sto¡¡cc s|o:t`. I|c, co :ot scc ;a:c |ow coulc t|c,:, t|at t|ci: co:t:i|utio: was a ccacl, slas|i:g
|low at a: cvolutio: t|at uust :cvc: |c sc¡a:atcc i:ou its :oots. l: ot|c: cou:t:ics w|c:c va:icc
iccas a:c allowcc to ilou:is| at t|c sauc tiuc, t:acitio: a:c ccucatio: wc:c :ot ccst:o,cc. ·:l, i:
·|i:a a:c ·wccc: wc:c a:tists a:c tcac|c:s sco::cc,
l u,scli, u:cc: t|c c,cs oi u, ow: so:, was c:ivc: out oi t|c statc c:aua sc|ool. W|c: l
uai:tai:cc t|at ,ou:g stucc:ts |ac to lca:: t|ci: t:acc to c:a|lc t|cu to go out wit| t|ci:
:cvolutio:a:, ucssagc, t|c, wavcc t|c littlc :cc |oo| a:c w|istlcc, i:g:atiati:gl, c|cc:cc o: |,
:i|las l:u:ius, t|c ¡:i:ci¡al oi t|c sc|ool at t|c tiuc.
I|c ,ou:g :a¡icl, a:c s|iliull, o:ga:izcc t|cusclvcs, att:actcc t|c uass uccia a:c lcit us, t|c
olc a:c cx|austcc, i: c:ucl isolatio:. l ¡c:so:all, was :ot :call, o|st:uctcc i: u, wo:|. \, ¡u|lic
was i: ot|c: cou:t:ics a:c ca::cc uc a livi:g as wcll as |cc¡i:g uc i: a gooc uooc. l ccs¡iscc a
ia:aticisu l :ccog:izcc i:ou u, c|ilc|ooc, t|c sauc cuotio:al slucgc, o:l, t|c co:tc:t ciiic:c:t.
l:stcac oi i:cs| ai:, wc |ac cisto:tio:, sccta:ia:isu, i:tolc:a:cc, a:xious toac,i:g a:c a uisusc oi
¡owc:. I|c ¡attc:: is u:c|a:gi:g. iccas |ccouc i:stitutio:alizcc a:c co::u¡tcc. ·ouctiucs it
|a¡¡c:s quic|l,, souctiucs it ta|cs |u:c:ccs oi ,ca:s. l: 1-o·, it |a¡¡c:cc at iu:ious s¡ccc a:c
t|c cauagc co:c i: a s|o:t tiuc was |ot| asto:is|i:g a:c |a:c to :c¡ai:.
Du:i:g |is last ,ca:s, Ali ·|o|c:g cic scvc:al g:cat t|i:gs. lc t:a:slatcc a:c aca¡tcc ·lauccls
1|e +--o-..o·..- ·.. \a:,, a: iu¡c:is|a|lc ¡c:io:ua:cc. lc ¡ut o: l:cc|t`s ¡o!.!e. jÐo· te/e- 1e·
co!.!e.¡ co:st:uctcc wit| uassivc |loc|s. A:c lastl, |c ci:cctcc :.|..! ¡.. P.·e·, ¡la,iul, :csc:vcc,
o|scu:c a:c u:sc:tiuc:tal. Wc |ac :oous i: t|c sauc co::ico: oii t|c u¡¡c: ci:clc a:c oitc: uct
|u::,i:g to a:c i:ou :c|ca:sals o: uccti:gs. ·ouctiucs wc sat cow: o: :ic|ct, woocc: c|ai:s a:c
tal|cc, gossi¡cc o: cou¡lai:cc. Wc sclcou wc:t iu:t|c: a:c :cvc: uct ¡:ivatcl,, |ut siu¡l, sat
o: woocc: c|ai:s, souctiucs io: scvc:al |ou:s. lt |ccauc a :itual.
Yca:s latc:, as l |u::, to u, :oou alo:g t|at wi:cowlcss, :cc|i:g, c:owsil,lit co::ico:, l
t|i:|. lc:|a¡s wc`ll :u: i:to cac| ot|c:.
·:c|:o, a tow: wcst oi ·toc||olu, |ac |uilt a :cw t|cat:c a:c t|c ko,al D:auatic I|cat:c was
i:vitcc to cclc|:atc t|c io:ual o¡c:i:g. Wc |ac c|osc: a ¡:cviousl, u:¡u|lis|cc ¡la, |, l|alua:
lc:gua:, t|c tow:`s iauous ¡:o|lcu so:. I|c ¡la, was callcc u.· c.o.e· M.··.e·· a:c clcga:tl, |ut
wit| littlc o:igi:alit, uacc usc oi c|a:actc:s i:ou u.· c.o.e· P.!!, ¡lus t|c lova|lc a¡¡a:itio: oi t|is
uist:css. l as|cc t|c lis G:acc oi all tiuc, ·loi ·a:c|c:g, to ccc| |iuscli out o:cc agai: i: t|c
u:iio:u a:c :osc. lc was auuscc. lut |ust |cio:c :c|ca:sals sta:tcc, ·loi ·a:c|c:g icll ill a:c |ac
to tu:: cow: t|c ¡a:t. l as|cc lolgc: lowc:aclc: to ta|c ovc:. lc cic so wit|out c:t|usiasu,
|ccausc |c |:cw ·a:c|c:g was i:cou¡a:a|lc i: t|c :olc, a:c t|at ou: i:vc:tivc c:itics woulc
a¡¡l, t|cusclvcs to u:iavou:a|lc cou¡a:iso:s. A icw ca,s |cio:c goi:g to ·:c|:o, lc:Axcl
l:a::c:, t|c ¡:ocucc:, wc:t cow: wit| luu|ago a:c was u:a|lc to go. l |ac |ac a vc:, |ac colc
io: souc wcc|s, |ut iclt l oug|t to |c at t|c icstivitics to ua|c a s¡ccc| a:c cist:i|utc giits.
I|c :cw t|cat:c tu::cc out to |c a |iccous co:c:ctc uo:stc: wit| a iu:cauc:tal co:tcu¡t io:
t|c a:t oi acti:g. ;·:c|:o ow:cc o:c oi t|c uost |cautiiul t|cat:cs i: t|c cou:t:, w|ic|, wit|
·wccis| i:ciiic:c:cc to cultu:al t:acitio:, t|c, |ac allowcc to iall i:to ccca,.,
I|c ca, |cio:c t|c ¡:cuic:c, wc wc:c :c|ca:si:g a:c sctti:g t|c lig|ti:g. A:cc:s lc::i|so:,
w|o was ¡la,i:g Wic||c:g, succc:l, succuu|cc to scvc:c attac|s oi cizzi:css a:c |lac|outs. lc
:ciuscc to call a cocto: a:c ccciccc to go o:, io: ot|c:wisc t|c w|olc cc:cuo:, woulc couc to
:ot|i:g. ·: t|c uo::i:g oi t|c ¡:cuic:c, l |ac a tcu¡c:atu:c oi io:t, ccg:ccs a:c |c¡t t|:owi:g
u¡. l gavc i: a:c as|cc ou: ii:a:cial ci:ccto: to ta|c t|c w|ccl.
I|c solcu: o¡c:i:g was lau:c|cc. la:s lo:sscll |ac w:ittc: a uastc:l, ¡:ologuc w|ic| was
:cac |, li|i A:cc:sso:, c:csscc i: |c: sta: :olc as ·aga: i: l|alua: lc:gua:`s ¡la, oi t|c sauc
:auc. ·|c |ac |ust sta:tcc w|c: a ua: i: t|c scco:c :ow colla¡scc a:c cicc. lc was ca::icc out
a:c t|c ¡:ologuc was :c¡catcc i: a: i:c:casi:gl, |iza::c atuos¡|c:c. A:cc:s lc::i|so: was iccli:g
cvc: wo:sc, |ut i:sistcc o: goi:g t|:oug| wit| it. lt |ccauc a uaca|:c ¡c:io:ua:cc wit| t|c
¡:ou¡tc: i: o:c oi t|c uai: ¡a:ts. I|c c:itics wc:c scat|i:g a:c A:cc:s lc::i|so: :cccivcc
:ot|i:g |ut s¡itc io: |is cou:agc.
lt is u:cc:sta:ca|lc t|at cvc:,o:c i: t|cat:c is su¡c:stitious, io: ou: a:t is i::atio:al, to souc
cxtc:t i:cx¡lica|lc a:c co:sta:tl, cx¡oscc to c|a:cc cvc:ts. Wc as|cc ou:sclvcs ;|o|i:gl,, oi
cou:sc, w|ct|c: l|alua: lc:gua: |ac |cc: i:tc:ic:i:g wit| ou: ciio:ts, to sto¡ us ¡c:io:ui:g |is
¡la,.
l |avc |ac scvc:al siuila: cx¡c:ic:ccs. ·t:i:c|c:g |as |cc: s|owi:g |is cis¡lcasu:c wit| uc i:
:ccc:t ,ca:s. l was to co Ðo-.e .¡ Ðeo·| a:c t|c ¡olicc cauc a:c too| uc awa,. l was agai: to co
Ðo-.e .¡ Ðeo·| a:c A:cc:s l| icll sc:iousl, ill. l was :c|ca:si:g + Ð.eo¬ t!o, i: \u:ic| a:c t|c
Acvocatc wc:t uac. Wc wc:c wo:|i:g o: M.·· jo!.e a icw ,ca:s latc: a:c ¡ulic wc:t c:az,. l was
¡la::i:g M.·· jo!.e i: ·toc||olu a:c u, i:tc:ccc ¡ulic |ccauc ¡:cg:a:t. W|c: l sta:tcc to ¡:c¡a:c
io: + Ð.eo¬ t!o,, u, stagc ccsig:c: g:cw cc¡:csscc, l:c:a`s Daug|tc: icll ¡:cg:a:t a:c l u,scli
co:t:actcc souc u,stc:ious i:icctio: w|ic| ¡:ovcc |a:c to ovc:couc a:c ii:all, ¡ut ¡aic to t|c
¡:o|cct. I|at :uu|c: oi uisio:tu:cs is :o ·oi:cicc:cc. lo: souc :caso:, ·t:i:c|c:g cic :ot wa:t
uc. I|c t saccc:cc uc, io: l lovc |iu.
·:c :ig|t, |owcvc:, |c tclc¡|o:cc a:c wc a::a:gcc a uccti:g i: la:lavagc:. l was |ittc:, a:c
ccic:c:tial, |ut :cucu|c:cc |ow to ¡:o:ou:cc |is :auc ¡:o¡c:l,. Agust ;August, as i: l:glis|,
:ot ·wgust,. lc was i:ic:cl,, aluost l t:icc to ¡o:t:a, t|is c¡isocc i: u.o. .¡ ·|e P.!¡ /o· iailcc
a:c cut it out. lt :ccu:s i: t|c ¡:ologuc oi te.·.-o a:c :cccivcs its ii:al io:u i: c..e· o-1 P|.·¡e.·, i:
w|ic| t|c ccac ca::ot cic |ut a:c uacc to cistu:| t|c livi:g.
G|osts, ccvils a:c ccuo:s, gooc, cvil o: |ust a::o,i:g, t|c, |avc |low: i: u, iacc, ¡us|cc uc,
¡:ic|cc uc wit| ¡i:s, ¡luc|cc at u, |c:sc,. I|c, |avc s¡o|c:, |isscc o: w|is¡c:cc. ·lca: voiccs,
:ot ¡a:ticula:l, cou¡:c|c:si|lc |ut iu¡ossi|lc to ig:o:c.
Iwc:t, ,ca:s ago, l u:cc:wc:t a: o¡c:atio:, a ui:o: o:c, |ut l |ac to |c a:acst|ctizcc a:c,
cuc to a: c::o:, was givc: too uuc| a:acst|ctic. ·ix |ou:s oi u, liic va:is|cc. l co:`t :cucu|c:
a:, c:caus, tiuc ccascc to cxist, six |ou:s, six uic:oscco:cs o: ctc::it,. I|c o¡c:atio: was
succcssiul.
l |avc st:ugglcc all u, liic wit| a to:uc:tcc a:c |o,lcss :clatio:s|i¡ wit| Goc. lait| a:c lac| oi
iait|, ¡u:is|uc:t, g:acc a:c :c|cctio:, all wc:c :cal to uc, all wc:c iu¡c:ativc. \, ¡:a,c:s sta:|
oi a:guis|, c:t:cat,, t:ust, loat|i:g a:c ccs¡ai:. Goc s¡o|c, Goc saic :ot|i:g. Do :ot tu:: i:ou
uc I|, iacc.
I|c lost |ou:s oi t|at o¡c:atio: ¡:oviccc uc wit| a calui:g ucssagc. You wc:c |o:: wit|out
¡u:¡osc, ,ou livc wit|out uca:i:g, livi:g is its ow: uca:i:g. W|c: ,ou cic, ,ou a:c cxti:guis|cc.
l:ou |ci:g ,ou will |c t:a:sio:ucc to :o:|ci:g. A goc cocs :ot :cccssa:il, cwcll auo:g ou:
i:c:casi:gl, ca¡:icious atous.
I|is i:sig|t |as |:oug|t wit| it a cc:tai: sccu:it, t|at |as :csolutcl, cliui:atcc a:guis| a:c
tuuult, t|oug| o: t|c ot|c: |a:c l |avc :cvc: cc:icc u, scco:c ;o: ii:st, liic, t|at oi t|c s¡i:it.
W|c: l :ctu::cc |ouc i:ou ·:c|:o, l |ac a tcu¡c:atu:c oi io:t,o:c ccg:ccs a:c was uo:c o:
lcss u:co:scious. \, cocto: co:ii:ucc cou|lc ¡:cuuo:ia. ·tuiicc wit| a:ti|iotics, l la, i: |cc
:caci:g ¡la,s.
l g:acuall, got |ac| o: u, icct |ut was :ot c:ti:cl, :ccovc:cc as l still |ac a tcu¡c:atu:c w|ic|
lastcc io: scvc:al ca,s. l was ii:all, acuittcc to ·o¡|ia|cuuct los¡ital io: i:vcstigatio:. \, :oou
iaccc t|c ¡a:|, t|c ,cllow ¡a:so:agc o: t|c |ill a:c t|c |os¡ital c|a¡cl, w|c:c iigu:cs i: |lac|
ua:c|cc i: a:c out, wit| o: wit|out coiii:s.
l was |ac| to squa:c o:c.
As oitc: as l coulc, l uacc u, wa, to t|c t|cat:c to cis¡cl t|c :uuou: oi u, a¡¡:oac|i:g
ccuisc. ·t|c:wisc l g:cw wo:sc, t:ou|lcc |, |outs oi cizzi:css. l |ac to sta:c quitc still a:c iix
u, c,cs o: a ¡oi:t i: t|c :oou. li l uovcc, walls a:c iu::itu:c icll o: to¡ oi uc a:c l vouitcc. l
loo|cc li|c a: olc ua:, ca:ciull, ¡utti:g o:c ioot i: i:o:t oi t|c ot|c:, |olci:g o: to coo:¡osts a:c
s¡ca|i:g slowl,.
·: cc:tai: ca,s, u, s,u¡tous cascc a:c l |ccauc aluost :o:ual. l:g:ic vo: kosc:, a cca:
i:ic:c, |u:clcc uc i:to |c: ca: a:c too| uc to ·uacala:o o:c wi:c, su::, A¡:il ca,, w|c: t|c:c
wc:c ¡atc|cs oi s:ow still o: t|c :o:t|c:: slo¡cs a:c wa:ut| i: t|c lcc oi t|c wi:c. Wc sat cow:
o: t|c stc¡s oi t|c suuuc: |ousc u:cc: t|c olc oa| t:cc, atc sa:cwic|cs a:c c:a:| |cc:. l:g:ic a:c
l |ac |:ow: cac| ot|c: io: scvc: ,ca:s. Wc |ac:`t vc:, uuc| to sa, to cac| ot|c:, |ut wc li|cc
|ci:g togct|c:.
l stuc| to |os¡ital :outi:cs, gctti:g u¡ ca:l,, |avi:g |:ca|iast, t:,i:g a s|o:t wal| i: t|c ¡a:|,
tclc¡|o:i:g t|c t|cat:c to ciscuss t|c latcst cisastc:s, :caci:g t|c ¡a¡c:s a:c sitti:g cow: at u,
ccs| to scc w|ct|c: l coulc ac|icvc a:,t|i:g c:cativc.
l |ac to wait a uo:t| o: so |cio:c iuagcs, ccasclcssl, ii :clucta:tl,, i:ccc t|cusclvcs i:ou u,
co:scious:css a:c g:acuall, too| s|a¡c as |csita:t wo:cs a:c iuu|li:g sc:tc:ccs.
l was co:t:actcc wit| ·l to ua|c a iilu w|ic| was to go i:to ¡:ocuctio: i: ¡u:c. lt was to |c a
tolc:a|lc aiiai: callcc 1|e co--./o!·. l :calizcc |, t|c c:c oi \a:c| t|at t|c ¡:o|cct was u::calistic
a:c so suggcstcc a ·¬o!! iilu wit| two wouc:. W|c: t|c ii:u`s ua:agi:g ci:ccto: ¡olitcl, as|cc
w|at t|c w|olc t|i:g woulc |c a|out, l :c¡licc cvasivcl, t|at it was suall ga:cc: co:tai:i:g a:cic:t
a¡¡lc t:ccs. Wc iou:c t|c ga:cc:. Wc woulc |uilc t|c |ousc. I|c:c was to |c a sto:, s|o:c. Wc
iou:c a sto:, s|o:c iaci:g i:ii:it,.
I|c taxi ii:all, too| us to t|c stclcs, t|c wcat|c:cc coluu:s oi :oc| oii t|c :o:t| sicc oi t|c
isla:c. Wc stooc lca:i:g agai:st t|c wi:c, sta:i:g wit| watc:i:g c,cs at t|osc scc:ctivc icols :aisi:g
t|ci: |cav, io:c|cacs agai:st t|c wavcs a:c t|c ca:|c:i:g |o:izo:.
l co:`t :call, |:ow w|at |a¡¡c:cc. li o:c wis|cc to |c solcu:, it coulc |c saic t|at l |ac iou:c
u, la:csca¡c, u, :cal |ouc, ii o:c wis|cc to |c iu::,, o:c coulc tal| a|out lovc at ii:st sig|t.
l tolc ·vc: :,|vist l wa:tcc to livc o: t|c isla:c io: t|c :cst oi u, liic a:c t|at l woulc |uilc a
|ousc |ust w|c:c t|c iilu`s stagc |ousc stooc. ·vc: suggcstcc l s|oulc t:, a icw |ilouct:cs ia:t|c:
sout|. I|at is w|c:c u, |ousc sta:cs toca,. lt was |uilt |ctwcc: 1-oo a:c 1-o¯.
\, tics wit| la:o |avc scvc:al o:igi:s. I|c ii:st was i:tuitivc. I|is is ,ou: la:csca¡c, lc:gua:.
lt co::cs¡o:cs to ,ou: i::c:uost iuagi:i:gs oi io:us, ¡:o¡o:tio:s, colou:s, |o:izo:s, sou:cs,
silc:ccs, lig|ts a:c :cilcctio:s. ·ccu:it, is |c:c. Do:`t as| w|,. lx¡la:atio:s a:c cluus,
:atio:alizatio:s wit| |i:csig|t. l:, io: i:sta:cc, ,ou: ¡:oicssio: ,ou loo| io: siu¡liiicatio:,
¡:o¡o:tio:, cxc:tio:, :claxatio:, |:cat|i:g. I|c la:o la:csca¡c givcs ,ou a wcalt| oi all t|at.
·t|c: :caso:s. l uust ii:c a cou:tc:wcig|t to t|c t|cat:c. li l wc:c to :a:t a:c :avc o: t|c
s|o:c, a gull, at uost, woulc ta|c oii. ·: t|c stagc, suc| a: cx|i|itio: woulc |c cisast:ous.
·c:tiuc:tal :caso:s. l woulc :ct:cat i:ou t|c wo:lc, :cac t|c |oo|s l |ac:`t :cac, uccitatc,
clca:sc u, soul, ;Aitc: a uo:t| o: two l was |o¡clcssl, i:volvcc i: t|c isla:cc:s` ¡:o|lcus,
souct|i:g w|ic| :csultcc i: t|c 1-o- to.. Ð..o¬e-·.)
lu:t|c: sc:tiuc:tal :caso:s. cu:i:g t|c iilui:g oi te.·.-o, liv a:c l wc:c ovc:w|clucc |,
¡assio:. Wit| uo:uuc:tal lac| oi |ucgcuc:t, l |uilt t|c |ousc wit| t|c icca oi a uutual cxistc:cc
o: t|c isla:c. l io:got to as| liv w|at s|c t|oug|t. l ua:agcc to ii:c out latc: i:ou |c: |oo|
c|o-¸.-¸. ·: t|c w|olc |c: tcstiuo:, is, l t|i:|, aiicctio:atcl, co::cct. ·|c sta,cc a icw ,ca:s. Wc
ioug|t ou: ccuo:s as |cst wc coulc. I|c: s|c got t|c ¡a:t oi l:isti:a i: 1|e i¬.¸.o-··. I|at too|
|c: ia: awa,. W|c: s|c lcit, wc |:cw.
·cliiu¡oscc solitucc is all :ig|t. l c:t:c:c|cc u,scli a:c csta|lis|cc uac|i:cli|c :outi:cs. l
got u¡ ca:l,, wc:t io: a wal|, wo:|cc a:c :cac. At iivc o`cloc|, t|c wiic oi a :cig||ou: cauc a:c
coo|cc ci::c: was|cc u¡ a:c lcit. At scvc: o`cloc|, l was alo:c agai:.
l |ac causc to cisua:tlc t|c uac|i:c a:c cxaui:c t|c ¡a:ts. l was cissatisiicc wit| u, latcst
iilus a:c ¡:ocuctio:s, |ut cissatisiicc o¡·e. t|c cvc:t. W|ilc t|c wo:| |ac |cc: goi:g o:, l |ac
¡:otcctcc u,scli a:c u, coi:gs i:ou ccst:uctivc c:iticisu, a:c coulc :ot icc:tii, iaili:gs a:c
wca|:csscs u:til latc:.


l: t|c s¡:i:g oi 1-!-, l wc:t to scc lauli:c l:u:ius, ci:ccto: oi t|c ko,al D:auatic I|cat:c. l
as|cc to |c allowcc i:to t|c t|cat:c to co a:,t|i:g, as lo:g as l coulc |c t|c:c a:c lca:: t|c
¡:oicssio:. \:s l:u:ius, a slc:cc:, |cautiiul woua: wit| a ¡alc iacc, la:gc :at|c: ¡:ot:uci:g clca:
|luc c,cs a:c a wclluoculatcc voicc, cccla:cc i: t|:cc ui:utcs t|at s|c woulc ·e.../!, li|c to |avc
uc w|c: l |ac ¡asscc u, acaccuic cxaus. ·|c wc:t o: at lc:gt| a|out ccucatio: |ci:g t|c |cst
wa, i:to t|c a:t oi t|cat:c, cs¡cciall, io: a:,o:c |olc c:oug| to wa:t to |c a ¡:ocucc:. W|c: s|c
saw u, gc:ui:c ccs¡ai:, s|c ¡attcc u, a:u a:c saic, Wc`vc got ou: c,c o: ,ou, \: lc:gua:.` l
was out o: t|c st:cct wit|i: iou: ui:utcs, u, c:caus s|attc:cc. I|c:c was :o liuit to t|c |o¡cs l
|ac ¡i::cc o: u, i:tc:vicw wit| \:s l:u:ius.
l cic :ot :calizc u:til lo:g aitc:wa:cs t|at lat|c: |ac |cc: i: touc| wit| \:s l:u:ius, w|ou |c
|:cw i: souc oiiicial ca¡acit,. lc |ac tolc |c: oi |is wis|cs :cga:ci:g u, stucics. \a,|c t|at was
all io: t|c |cst.
l: u, ccs¡c:atio:, l a¡¡licc to t|c ·¡c:a lousc as a: u:¡aic a:,t|i:g. la:alc A:c:c |ac |ust
|ccouc ci:ccto:, a tall ua: wit| a :cccis| cou¡lcxio:, s:oww|itc |ai: a:c uoustac|c. lc
vicwcc u, a:guis| t|:oug| :a::ow ¡cc:i:g slits oi c,cs a:c uuttc:cc souct|i:g |c:cvolc:t w|ic|
l cic:`t |ca:. l was succc:l, cu¡lo,cc as a ¡:ocuctio: assista:t. Acco:ci:g to souc uic
:i:ctcc:t| cc:tu:, ccc:cc, t|is c:tailcc :cuu:c:atio: oi :i:ct,iou: ..|·1o!e. a ,ca:.
la:alc A:c:c was a ¡:oui:c:t ¡:ocucc: a:c a s|iliul ci:ccto:, lco llcc|, :ils G:cvillius a:c
lssa, Do|:owc: wc:c |is co:cucto:s. I|c o¡c:a |ousc |ac a ¡c:ua:c:t ¡:oicssio:al cou¡a:,, a
iai:l, gooc c|o:us, a c:caciul ...¡·1e/o!!e·, a scct|i:g uass oi stagc |a:cs a:c a lai|ali|c
acui:ist:atio:. I|c :c¡c:toi:c was cxtc:sivc, :a:gi:g i:ou M.¸-.- to 1|e r.-¸, t|c aucic:cc suall,
iait|iul a:c co:sc:vativc. I|c, lovcc t|ci: iavou:itcs a:c co:sta:tl, :ctu::cc.
I|c ·tagc ·iiicc io:ucc t|c |u| oi t|c w|ccl, :u: |, a littlc ua: :cscu|li:g D: \a|usc w|o
was alwa,s i: ¡lacc.
I|c stagc was s¡acious |ut |cav, goi:g, t|c iloo: slo¡i:g towa:cs t|c iootlig|ts, :o s¡acc i: t|c
wi:gs, |ut iou: t:a¡s a:c |ugc ilics.
I|c |allct :c|ca:sal :oou slo¡cc i: t|c sauc wa, as t|c stagc, was |acl, vc:tilatcc, c:aug|t,
a:c ci:t,. I|c c:cssi:g :oous at stagc lcvcl wc:c s¡acious a:c cqui¡¡cc wit| wi:cows, |ut |ig|c:
u¡ t|c, |ccauc wo:sc a:c t|c sa:ita:, a::a:gcuc:ts wc:c cxt:cucl, liuitcc.
I|o:oli ¡a:sso: |ac c:catcc a: c:o:uous :uu|c: oi scts, g:a:ciosc scc:c:,¡ai:ti:g oi t|c olc
sc|ool, i:cluci:g a: u:io:gctta|lc livi:g |i:c| i: t|c uicclc oi A::l|ot`s ¡autla:c la:csca¡c, a
ca:gc:ous io:cst wit| a watc:iall a:c a |a:: io: ·t:i:c|c:g`s 1|e ¡..¸.- i..1e a:c a s¡:i:g li|c
ucacow io: t|c cou¡ctitio: i: 1|e Mo··e. ·.-¸e.·. l:s¡i:atio: a:c |:owlccgc. lac|c:o¡s a:c sicc
ilats. Acousticall, acva:tagcous a:c wclluacc scc:c:,, ¡:actical to c|a:gc a:c sto:c.
l: co:t:ast to t|is uilcl, agci:g |caut, was ¡o:A:c`s |uuo:ous, Gc:ua:i:s¡i:cc
cx¡:cssio:isu i: co.¬e-, 1o!e· .¡u.¡¡¬o--, o·e!!..
I|c lig|ti:g was a: i:cou¡:c|c:si|lc a:tiquit, i:ou 1-0· i: t|c |a:cs oi a: agcc :o|lcua:
wit| t|c titlc oi li:c \astc: a:c |is so:, a tacitu:: uicclcagcc ,out|. I|c, wo:|cc i: a :a::ow
co::ico: li|c s¡acc to t|c lcit oi t|c stagc, w|c:c t|ci: c|a:ccs oi scci:g w|at was goi:g o: wc:c
aluost :o:cxistc:t.
A co:sicc:a|lc wo:| io:cc co:st:uctcc t|c scc:c:,, too| it cow:, loaccc it, t:a:s¡o:tcc it, a:c
u:loaccc it. I|c w|olc a::a:gcuc:t was a u,stc:,. Ioca,`s cou¡utc:izcc clcct:o:ic
so¡|isticatio:s iu:ctio: ia: wo:sc t|a: t|at cluus, uac|i:c:, oi t|c 1-!0..
I|c u,stc:, |ac o:l, o:c cx¡la:atio:. Da, a:c :ig|t, a ¡c:ua:c:tl, cu¡lo,cc, soucw|at
clcc:l,, soucw|at c:u:|c: a:u, oi cctc:ui:cc i:civicualists a:c ciscc::i:g olc|a:cs wo:|cc o:
t|c stagc. I|c, wc:c :cs¡o:si|lc. I|c, |:cw w|at t|c, wc:c coi:g. I|c, |:cw t|c scc:c c|a:gcs.
lt is ¡ossi|lc t|c, wo:|cc i: s|iits, |ut l co:`t |:ow, i ¡:o|a|l, t|oug|t t|c sauc olc uc: |clc t|c
sauc :o¡cs, ca, a:c :ig|t, ,ca: i: a:c ,ca: out. ·o|:ict, ua, |avc |cc: soucw|at aiicctcc |,
Wag:c:`s lo:g :otcs a:c lsolcc`s lo:gwi:ccc c,i:g, |ut t|c scts cauc i: a:c out at t|c :ig|t
uouc:ts, t|c |ac|clot| was :aiscc a:c lowc:cc at t|c :ig|t s¡ccc, t|c cu:tai: :osc o: icll wit| a:
a:tistic ii:cssc w|ic| ca: :cvc: |c :c¡laccc |, a ucc|a:ical a::a:gcuc:t wit| g:accc s¡cccs. I|c
ll,i:g Dutc|ua:`s s|i¡ sailcc, t|c :ilc glittc:cc i: t|c uoo:lig|t, ·auso: ¡ullcc cow: t|c
tcu¡lc, t|c go:cola oi t|c la:ca:olc gliccc t|:oug| t|c ca:als oi Vc:icc, lucci:i`s witc|cs i:
te¡.!!. ilcw, t|c s¡:i:g sto:u :i¡¡cc t|c walls oii lu:ci:g`s |ousc lcavi:g i:cc ¡assagc io: t|c
i:ccstuous si|li:g cou¡lc sixtcc: |a:s |cio:c t|c c:c oi t|c act.
·ouctiucs t|i:gs wc:t w:o:g. ·:c cvc:i:g t.|e-¸..- was |ci:g ¡c:io:ucc wit| li:a: lc,:o:
a:c l:ita lc:tz|c:g. l was coi:g t|c lig|ti:g. lvc:,t|i:g wc:t suoot|l, u:til t|c ii:alc. lo|c:g:i:
|ac su:g |is G:ail sto:,. I|c c|o:us o: t|c :a::ow |cacla:c out i:to t|c :ivc: sa:g :csou:ci:gl,
t|at t|c swa: |a::csscc to a |a:csouc s|cll was a¡¡:oac|i:g to ictc| ou: |lo:c |c:o. llsa was
|:o|c:|ca:tcc a:c clac i: w|itc. ;l lovcc l:ita lc:tz|c:g a:cc:tl, a:c scc:ctl,., I|c swa: was a:
cxt:ao:ci:a:il, |cautiiul c:catio: uutuall, i:s¡i:cc |, I|o:oli ¡a:sso: a:c t|c |cac oi t|c tcc|:ical
staii. lt gliccc, swau, uovcc its slc:cc: :cc| a:c coulc :uiilc its wi:gs.
I|c swa: |ac :ow |auucc a icw uct:cs i:ou t|c la:ci:g stagc. lt |c:|cc a:c tuggcc |ut
:ciuscc to |ucgc. I|c s|cll was stuc|, |ac go:c oii t|c :ails. I|c swa: :cvc:t|clcss uovcc its lo:g
:cc| a:c :uiilcc its wi:gs as ii u:uovcc |, its ca::iagc`s catast:o¡|ic situatio:. Wag:c:`s
i:st:uctio:s i:volvc t|c |i:c civi:g o: a givc: |a:. llsa`s ,ou:gc: |:ot|c:, w|ou t|c ualicious
·:t:uc |as |cwitc|cc |ut w|o is :ow :clcascc, ascc:cs i: its ¡lacc a:c t|:ows |iuscli i:to |is
c,i:g sistc:`s a:us. As t|c swa: was stuc|, it coulc:`t civc, |ut llsa`s |:ot|c: ascc:ccc all t|c
sauc. la:ic |:o|c out auo:g t|c stagc |a:cs sc:vi:g i: t|c ii:st t:a¡. W|c:c t|c |cll is t|c swa:·
Wc`vc sc:t t|c |o, u¡ too soo:. lct`s |:i:g |iu cow: agai:.
llsa`s |:ot|c: cisa¡¡ca:cc |cio:c |c |ac cvc: lcit t|c t:a¡coo: iloo:. :ow t|c, wc:c a lo:g
wa, |c|i:c i: t|c sco:c a:c t|c |o, was o:cc agai: cclivc:cc, |ut lost |is iooti:g a:c stuu|lcc
ovc: llsa, w|o was t|:ow: i:to cisa::a,. Acco:ci:g to Wag:c:, a covc is :ow lowc:cc i:ou t|c
ilics a:c iastc:s a golcc: :i||o: to t|c s|cll. W|c: lo|c:g:i: |as stc¡¡cc a|oa:c cu:i:g t|c clcgiac
ia:cwcll, t|c s|cll s|oulc |c towcc awa, |, t|c covc a:c cisa¡¡ca: i:to t|c lcit|a:c wi:gs. As t|c
swa: was stuc| a:c t|c s|cll st:a:ccc, a ccs¡c:atc lo|c:g:i: g:a||cc t|c golcc: co:c a:c ua:c|cc
out to a uo:c a:c uo:c stiilcc ia:cwcll. I|c swa: swu:g its |cautiiul :cc| a:c :uiilcc its wi:gs.
llsa colla¡scc a:c la, t:cu|li:g i: |c: |:ot|c:`s a:us. I|c cu:tai: icll slowl,, slowl,.
lo: scvc:al wcc|s l sau:tc:cc a:ou:c as t|oug| i:visi|lc. :o o:c too| t|c slig|tcst :oticc oi
uc. l uacc a icw cautious co:tacts, |ut was colcl, :c|uiicc. At :ig|t, l sat i: a co::c: oi t|c stagc
oiiicc, a la:gc :oou wit| a low ccili:g a:c a vaultcc wi:cow cow: :ca: t|c iloo:. Iclc¡|o:cs :a:g,
¡co¡lc cauc a:c wc:t, ucssagcs wc:c |:oug|t a:c sc:t, a:c occasio:all, souc cclc|:it, towc:cc
i: t|c coo:wa,. l got u¡ a:c g:cctcc w|ocvc: it was. ·ouco:c gla:ccc a|sc:tl, at uc, t|c |cll
:a:g to i:cicatc t|c i:tc:val was ovc:, ciga:cttcs wc:c stu||cc out a:c t|c, all too| u¡ t|ci: ¡laccs.
·:c cvc:i:g, D:. \a|usc too| uc |, t|c la¡cls a:c saic. I|c ot|c:s co:`t li|c ,ou sitti:g i:
|c:c cu:i:g t|c i:tc:vals. You ca: sta, i: t|c ¡assagc |c|i:c t|c stagc.` l |ic u,scli |c|i:c t|c
coo: oi t|c |allct :oou a:c swallowcc u, tca:s oi |uuiliatio:. A |cautiiul ca:cc: wit| a: ltalia:
:auc iou:c uc w|c: s|c u:cx¡cctccl, tu::cc o: t|c lig|t i: t|c |allct :oou. You`:c uuc| too
i:tc:cstcc i: |allct,` s|c saic. Wc co:`t li|c ,ou sta:i:g w|c: wc`:c wo:|i:g.`
Aitc: a icw uo:t|s oi iloati:g a:ou:c i: t|is :o ua:`s la:c l was sc:t to kag:a: l,ltc:
·avallius, w|o was ¡:ocuci:g Gou:oc`s too··, :ic|:aucc liauctta, |c was a tall ga:gli:g ¡c:so:
wit| ia: too :o|lc icatu:cs.
Io uc, |c was souco:c to |c :cc|o:cc wit|. l |:cw |c |ac ci:cctcc a g:cat ua:, iilus,
w:ittc: a g:cat ua:, sc:i¡ts a:c ¡:ocuccc i::uuc:a|lc o¡c:as. l |ac scc: |iu wo:|i:g o: t|c stagc
wit| si:gc:s a:c c|o:us. lis voicc was |oa:sc a:c |c lis¡cc slig|tl,, |is |cac t|:ust io:wa:c, |is
s|oulcc:s |u:c|cc u¡, |is lo:g |a:cs iluttc:i:g. l :calizcc |c was |:owlccgca|lc, tcu¡c:auc:tal
a:c olcias|io:cc. Io t|c sta:s |c was gc:tlc, |c:cvolc:t a:c ¡la,iul, to t|c ot|c:s sa:castic,
ualicious a:c :ut|lcss. lis t|i: li¡s wc:c alwa,s suili:g, w|ct|c: |c was auia|lc o: a:g:,.
lc quic|l, saw u, total ig:o:a:cc a:c :ccuccc uc to a: illt:catcc c::a:c |o,. ·ouctiucs |c
woulc ¡i:c| u, c|cc|, |ut l was uostl, a g:atciul victiu oi |is i:o:ics. Dcs¡itc u, co:tcu¡t a:c
ica:, l lca::t a g:cat ccal i:ou |is t|o:oug| a:c alwa,s ¡:actical i:st:uctio:s. Iogct|c: wit| t|c
D:auatc:`s |:illia:t stagc ccsig:c:, ·vc: l:i| ·|awo:ius, |c ¡ai:sta|i:gl, c:catcc a: atuos¡|c:ic
¡c:io:ua:cc oi Gou:oc`s ¡o¡ula: olc o¡c:a.
lco: l|o:|c:, t|c g:cat |ass si:gc:, w|o coulc :ot :cac uusic, saic. W|, co ,ou loo| so
a::oga:t· A:c ,ou a |uu |o,, too·` l sta:cc at |iu, :ot u:cc:sta:ci:g. A::oga:t· l|o:|c: wc:t o:.
Wc usuall, sa, |cllo i: t|is t|cat:c. Wc`vc ¡asscc cac| ot|c: cvc:, ca, a:c ,ou`vc cccli:cc to sa,
|cllo to uc. +.e ,ou a |uu |o,·` l coulc:`t a:swc:. l cic:`t u:cc:sta:c a:c |ac :o i:|li:g oi t|c
gossi¡ a|out liauctta`s :cw iaggot.
liauctta was aucacious, i:o:ic, |u:tiul, |ut :cvc: iu¡o:tu:atc. l li|cc |iu, :call,, a:c acui:cc
|is ccvotio: a:c i:cciatiga|lc o|sti:ac,. A: aiicctcc, ualicious, |ittc: a:c uccioc:c olc gc:tlcua:
io: w|ou, i: ,out|, a |:illia:t iutu:c |ac |cc: ¡:ccictcc.
·:c aitc::oo: aitc: :c|ca:sal, |c sta,cc |c|i:c o: a woocc: c|ai:, ovc:couc wit| so::ow,
lca:i:g agai:st t|c ta|lc w|c:c l was sitti:g ua|i:g stagc :otcs i: t|c sco:c. lc saic i: a quict a:c
¡lcaci:g voicc. \: lc:gua:, w|at s|all l co· l|o:cis i:sists. ·|c is cctc:ui:cc to |avc lo:g
|lo:cc ¡laits. lt`ll |c g:otcsquc. ·|c`s got a swollc: |cac cvc: i: ¡:ivatc liic:` lc sat i: silc:cc,
:oc|i:g |is c|ai:. You`vc c|osc: a ¡cculia: uctic:, \: lc:gua:. W|c: o:c is gctti:g o: i: ,ca:s,
it ca: sccu cxt:cucl, i:ust:ati:g.`
lssa, Do|:owc: was to co:cuct a:c ¡:ocucc \usso:gs|,`s x|.·o-·|.|.-o. lc |:oug|t |is ow:
assista:ts a:c was alwa,s su::ou:ccc |, a clouc oi cau¡ iollowc:s. l stolc o¡¡o:tu:itics to watc|
|iu wo:|i:g a iu:cauc:tal cx¡c:ic:cc.
Do|:owc: was a kussia: ¡cw, o:igi:all, i:ou \oscow. lis :cco:c was gooc, |ut :uuou: |ac it
t|at |c was ciiiicult. Wc iou:c a: iu¡:cssivc a:c cou:tcous littlc ua:, |ccoui:g g:c, at t|c
tcu¡lcs, wit| a |a:csouc iacc. W|c: |c stc¡¡cc o: to t|c co:cucto:`s ¡ociuu, |c was
t:a:sio:ucc, a:c wc saw a: outsta:ci:g lu:o¡ca:, :o :cs¡cctc: oi ¡c:so:s, cctc:ui:cc to :aisc
t|c a:tistic lcvcl oi t|cat:c. kcactio:s :a:gcc i:ou st:aig|t su:¡:isc ;low ca: |c sa, suc| t|i:gs to
a:,o:c· l`u wo:t| |ust as uuc| as |c is, a:c:`t l:`,, su¡¡:csscc :agc ;l`ll givc t|c |asta:c o:c o: t|c
|aw:`,, to su|uissio: ;lc`s a ccvil |ut |c`s a ·ata::`, a:c ii:all, ccvotio: ;I|c |cst t|i:g t|at |as
cvc: |a¡¡c:cc to us a:c t|c t|cat:c:`,
Wit| quict ¡lcasu:c, l watc|cc t|is littlc ua: c|asc t|c voluui:ous l|o:|c: all ovc: t|c stagc,
:ot o:cc o: twicc, |ut t|i:t, tiucs. ·u: g:cat alto si:gc:, t|c lovcl, swa:t|, Gc:t:uc lalso:
Wcttc:g:c:, icll |caclo:g i: lovc a:c |ac :cvc: su:g so |cautiiull,, li:a: lc,:o: was i:sultcc
cail,, wit| souc |usticc. ·lowl, t|c c:astic a¡¡:oac| |cga: its wo:| a:c out oi a :ast, ¡:ovi:cial
¡:iua co::a was |o:: :ot a si:gc: ;t|c:c wc:c liuits to all ui:aclcs, |ut a ii:c acto:. Do|:owc:
soo: saw t|c c|o:us was |acl, t:ai:cc |ut cxccllc:t uatc:ial, w|ic| |c too| i: |a:c wit| lovc a:c
t|o:oug|:css. ·ouc oi |is vc:, |cst uouc:ts wc:c wit| t|c c|o:us.
l |ac a icw o¡¡o:tu:itics to tal| to |iu, t|oug| u, :cs¡cct a:c la:guagc ciiiicultics ¡oscc
ua|o: o|staclcs, a:c souc t|i:gs wc:c cou¡:c|c:si|lc. lc saic |c was ai:aic .oi 1|e Mo¸.. t!o·e,
|ot| scc:icall, a:c uusicall,. lc cou¡lai:cc a|out t|c stagc ccsig:c:`s wcig|t, a:c ovc:loaccc
scts. I|c wo:lc ¡:cuic:c stagc coulc:`t |avc |cc: so la:gc. ¡ust t|i:| oi Iaui:o a:c t|c I|:cc
Gatcs. I|c uusic statcs t|c :uu|c: oi stc¡s i:ou gatc to gatc, t|c scc:c c|a:gcs a:c swiit a:c
siu¡lc, |ac|clot| a:c wi:g scts c|a:gi:g ¡laccs, :o ¡auscs io: :c|uilci:g. 1|e Mo¸.. t!o·e |ac |cc:
|o:: i: a: i:tiuatc woocc: t|cat:c wit| t|c siu¡lcst cqui¡uc:t a:c uatc|lcss acoustics. I|c
c|o:us si:gs ¡.o-.··.¬. |c|i:c t|c stagc. to¬.-o !e/· -..| ¦laui:a is still alivc¡. Do|:owc: wa:tcc
,.o-¸ si:gc:s, ,.o-¸ vi:tuosi. I|c g:cat a:ias t|c uccallio: a:ia, t|c Dui:o: a:ia, t|c Qucc: oi
t|c :ig|t`s colo:atu:as wc:c ii:cc |, ia: too uicclcagcc ca::o:s. You:g ii:c, ,ou:g ¡assio:,
,ou:g ¡la,iul:css. ·t|c:wisc it |ccoucs uc:cl, sill,.
l: u, iilu u.o. .¡ ·|e P.!¡, l latc: t:icc to c:catc t|c scc:c t|at |ac uovcc uc uost ¡:oiou:cl,.
Iaui:o is lcit alo:c i: t|c ¡alacc ga:cc:. lc c:ics. ·|, ca:| :ig|t: W|c: will ,ou va:is|· W|c:
s|all l ii:c lig|t i: t|c ca:|:css·` I|c c|o:us a:swc:s ¡.o-.··.¬. i:ou wit|i: t|c tcu¡lc. ·oo:,
soo: o: :cvc: uo:c:` Iaui:o. ·oo:· ·oo:· ·: :cvc: uo:c. liccc: c:catu:cs, givc uc ,ou:
a:swc:. Docs laui:a still livc·` I|c c|o:us a:swc:s i: t|c cista:cc. laui:a, laui:a still livcs.·
I|csc twclvc |a:s i:volvc two qucstio:s at liic`s outc: liuits |ut also two a:swc:s. W|c:
\oza:t w:otc |is o¡c:a, |c was al:cac, ill, t|c s¡cct:c oi ccat| touc|i:g |iu. l: a uouc:t oi
iu¡atic:t ccs¡ai:, |c c:ics. ·|, ca:| :ig|t: W|c: will ,ou va:is|· W|c: s|all l ii:c lig|t i: t|c
ca:|:css·` I|c c|o:us :cs¡o:cs au|iguousl,. ·oo:, soo: o: :cvc: uo:c I|c uo:tall, sic|
\oza:t c:ics out a qucstio: i:to t|c ca:|:css. ·ut oi t|is ca:|:css, |c a:swc:s |is ow: qucstio:s
.. 1.e· |e .e.e.·e o- o-·«e.·
I|c: t|c ot|c: qucstio:. Docs laui:a still livc·` I|c uusic t:a:slatcs t|c tcxt`s siu¡lc
qucstio: i:to t|c g:catcst oi all qucstio:s. Docs lovc livc· ls lovc :cal·` I|c a:swc: coucs,
quivc:i:g |ut |o¡ciul i: a st:a:gc civisio: oi laui:a`s :auc. laui:a still livcs:` lt is :o lo:gc: a
uattc: oi t|c :auc oi a: att:activc ,ou:g woua:, |ut a cocc wo:c io: lovc. laui:a still livcs.`
lovc cxists. lovc is :cal i: t|c wo:lc oi |uua: |ci:gs.
l: u.o. .¡ ·|e P.!¡, t|c cauc:a ¡a:s ac:oss t|c ccuo:s, w|ic| t|:oug| t|c ¡owc: oi t|c uusic
|avc couc to :cst io: a icw uouc:ts, t|c: sto¡s o: liv ullua::`s iacc. A cou|lc cccla:atio: oi
lovc, tc:cc:|ca:tcc |ut |o¡clcss.
A icw ,ca:s latc:, l suggcstcc to ·wccis| kacio t|at wc s|oulc co 1|e Mo¸.. t!o·e io: tclcvisio:.
l was uct wit| souc |csitatio: a:c co:iusio:. li \ag:us l:|o::i:g, |cac oi |:oaccast uusic at t|c
tiuc, |ac :ot i:tc:vc:cc wit| c:c:g, a:c c:t|usiasu, t|c ¡:o|cct woulc :cvc: |avc uatc:ializcc.
Du:i:g u, ¡:oicssio:al liic, l |avc :ot co:c a g:cat ua:, uusicc:aua ¡:ocuctio:s. I|c :caso:
is cu|a::assi:g. \, lovc oi uusic is sca:ccl, :cci¡:ocatcc, io: l au ¡lagucc |, a total i:a|ilit, to
:cucu|c: o: :c¡cat a scquc:cc oi :otcs. l quic|l, :ccog:izc t|cu, |ut |avc ciiiicult, ¡laci:g
t|cu, a:c l ca: :cit|c: si:g :o: w|istlc a tu:c. lo: uc, lca::i:g a uusical wo:| uo:c o: lcss |,
|ca:t is a la|o:ious ¡:occss. Da, aitc: ca,, l sit wit| t|c ta¡c:cco:cc: a:c t|c sco:c, souctiucs
¡a:al,zcc |, u, lac| oi s|ill.
\, cu|ittc:cc st:ugglc ua, co:tai: souc ¡ositivc icatu:cs. l |avc to s¡c:c a: i:o:ci:atc
auou:t oi tiuc o: t|c wo:|, as l |avc to listc: to cvc:, |a:, cvc:, |cat oi t|c ¡ulsc, cvc:, si:glc
uouc:t.
\, ¡:ocuctio:s stcu i:ou t|c uusic. l ca::ot go i: a:, ot|c: ci:cctio:. \, cisa|ilit, ¡:cvc:ts
uc.
la`|i la:ctci lovcc t|c t|cat:c, l lovcc uusic. I|:oug| ou: ua::iagc, wc ccst:o,cc cac|
ot|c:`s lovcs, o:cc so :aivcl, a:c s¡o:ta:cousl, cuotio:al. At a co:cc:t, l woulc tu:: to la|i,
iillcc wit| |a¡¡i:css. ·|c woulc loo| at uc scc¡ticall,. Dic ,ou .eo!!, t|i:| ·|o· was gooc·` I|c
sauc uisc:, at t|c t|cat:c. W|at s|c li|cc, l cisli|cc a:c viccvc:sa.
:owaca,s wc a:c t|c |cst oi i:ic:cs a:c |avc :ctu::cc to ou: auatcu:is| |ucgcuc:ts oi cac|
ot|c:`s a:t. lowcvc:, l ca::ot cc:, t|at cu:i:g u, liic wit| la|i, l lca::t a g:cat ccal a|out uusic.


A:c:ca ·o:clli cauc i:ou a wcalt|, u¡¡c:class iauil, i: Iu:i:. l:oug|t u¡ acco:ci:g to t|c
co:vc:tio:s oi t|c ca,, s|c wc:t to a co:vc:t sc|ool, was t|o:oug|l, ccucatcc i: t|c classics a:c
la:guagcs a:c wo: a ¡lacc at t|c Acaccu, oi \usic i: kouc. ·|c was co:sicc:cc a ¡:ouisi:g
¡ia:ist a:c livcc :ca: |c: iauil,. Dcc¡l, :cligious, s|c was c:ti:cl, ¡:otcctcc wit|i: t|c
co:vc:tio:s oi t|c ltalia: u¡¡c: classcs.
·|c was a |cautiiul, |a¡¡, a:c soucw|at :oua:tic ,ou:g woua:, wit| g:cat i:tcllcctual
cu:iosit,, uuc| cou:tcc a:c su::ou:ccc |, acui:c:s. :ot o:l, was s|c vc:, att:activc, s|c was also
w|at was callcc a gooc uatc|. A uicclcagcc vi:tuoso violi:ist, ¡o:at|a: Voglc:, uscc to visit t|c
Acaccu, to givc lcsso:s. kat|c: ila||,, goi:g g:c, at t|c tcu¡lcs a:c wit| u:usuall, la:gc |lac|
c,cs t|at squi:tcc violc:tl,, |c cauc i:ou lc:li:. lc a:ouscc ¡assio:s wit| |is ¡la,i:g a:c |is
ccuo:ic :acia:cc.
A:c:ca was c|osc: to accou¡a:, |iu at souc Acaccu, co:cc:ts. ·|c icll i: lovc wit| |iu, lcit
iauil, a:c t|c Acaccu,, ua::icc |iu a:c |oi:cc |iu o: |is cxtc:sivc |ou::c,s. Voglc: latc:
io:ucc a st:i:g qua:tct w|ic| |ccauc i:tc::atio:all, iauous, A:c:ca ¡la,i:g w|c: t|c c:scu|lc
was ¡c:io:ui:g ¡ia:o qui:tcts. ·|c gavc |i:t| to a caug|tc:, w|o was lcit wit| :clatio:s a:c latc:
wc:t to |oa:ci:g sc|ool.
A:c:ca soo: iou:c out t|at Voglc: was |ci:g u:iait|iul to |c:. lis a¡¡ctitc io: wouc: oi all
|i:cs tu::cc out to |c co:sicc:a|lc. I|is s|o:t ¡ot|cllicc ua: wit| a squi:t, wit| |ca:t t:ou|lc
a:c alwa,s s|o:t oi |:cat|, was a ga:ga:tua: ¡lcasu:c lovc: a:c a |:illia:t uusicia:. A:c:ca lcit
|iu a:c |c swo:c |c woulc ta|c |is ow: liic. ·|c :ctu::cc a:c cvc:,t|i:g wc:t |ac| to :o:ual.
·|c :calizcc :ow t|at s|c lovcc |iu wit|out :csc:vatio:s, so cast asicc all co:vc:tio:s a:c :ot
o:l, |ccauc t|c qua:tct`s acui:ist:ato: a:c ua:agc:, |ut also ua:agcc |c: |us|a:c`s lovc aiiai:s
wit| ii:u:css a:c |uuou:. ·|c uacc i:ic:cs wit| |is uist:csscs, su¡c:viscc t|c c:otic t:aiiic li|c a
statio:uastc:, a:c |ccauc |c: |us|a:c`s co:iica:tc. lc cic :ot sto¡ l,i:g, |ccausc |c was
i:ca¡a|lc oi tclli:g t|c t:ut|, |ut |c :o lo:gc: |ac to cauouilagc |is lcc|c:,. Wit| cctc:ui:atio:
a:c a talc:t io: o:ga:izatio:, A:c:ca ¡ilotcc |c: uusicia:s t|:oug| c:clcss tou:s, |ot| at |ouc a:c
a|:oac.
lvc:, suuuc: cu:i:g t|c i:tc:wa: ¡c:ioc, t|c, wc:c i:vitcc to sta, at a ·.|!.·· :ca: ·tuttga:t.
I|is castlc la, i: |cautiiul cou:t:,sicc wit| wicc vistas ovc: uou:tai:s a:c :ivc:s. lts c|atclai:c
was a soucw|at cccc:t:ic clcc:l, lac, callcc \at|ilcc vo: \c:|c:s, t|c wicow oi a: i:cust:ial
uag:atc. lot| s|c a:c t|c ·.|!.·· |ac ccca,cc.
Dcs¡itc t|is, s|c wc:t o: ,ca: aitc: ,ca:, |:i:gi:g togct|c: souc oi lu:o¡c`s uost cisti:guis|cc
uusicia:s, i:cluci:g ·asals, ku|i:stci:, lisc|c:, l:cislc:, lu:twa:glc:, \c:u|i: a:c Voglc:.
lvc:, suuuc:, t|c, o|c,cc t|c call, atc at |c: wiccl, ¡:aiscc ta|lc, c:a:| |c: ii:c wi:cs, covc:cc
t|ci: ow: a:c ot|c: uc:`s wivcs a:c uacc g:cat uusic.
A:c:ca still :ctai:cc |c: talc:t io: vulga: ltalia: sto:, tclli:g. ·|c |ac a |ca:t, laug|. lc: uac,
|iza::c, o|scc:c a:c couical sto:ics wc:c uatc:ial t|at ¡ositivcl, ccua:ccc a iilu. l ccciccc to
ua|c a coucc, oi it all.
u:io:tu:atcl, l uisscc t|c ¡oi:t, a iact l :calizcc o:l, w|c: t|c iilu |ac |cc: i::ct:icva|l,
uacc.
A:c:ca cauc to scc la`|i a:c uc i: D|u:s|olu, |:i:gi:g wit| |c: souc ¡|otog:a¡|s i:ou a
suuuc: at \at|ilcc vo: \c:|c:`s ·.|!.··, auo:g t|cu a ¡ictu:c t|at uacc uc wail wit| uisc:,.
I|c ¡ictu:c is oi t|c cou¡a:, o: t|c tc::acc aitc: w|at |as clca:l, |cc: a s¡lc:cic ci::c:. I|c
g:cc:c:, |as ovc:ilowcc all ovc: t|c |alust:acc a:c sto:c stc¡s, c:ac|cc t|c uosaics a:c cliu|cc
u¡ statucs a:c o::auc:ts. ·cattc:cc a:ou:c t|c cauagcc iloo: oi t|c tc::acc, a |a:ciul oi lu:o¡c`s
uusical gc:iuscs :clax i: |attc:cc |as|ct c|ai:s. I|c, a:c suo|i:g ciga:s, ¡c:s¡i:i:g a:c loo|i:g a
t:iilc u:s|avc:. ·ouco:c is laug|i:g, so |c is |lu::cc. I|at`s Ali:cc ·o:tot. ¡acqucs I|i|ault is
lca:i:g io:wa:c to sa, souct|i:g a:c |as ti¡¡cc |is |at cow: ovc: |is :osc. lcwi: lisc|c: is
¡:o¡¡i:g |is stouac| o: t|c |alust:acc. \at|ilcc vo: \c:|c:s is |olci:g a cu¡ oi coiicc i: o:c
|a:c a:c a ciga:illo i: t|c ot|c:. Voglc: |as closcc |is c,cs a:c |is waistcoat is u:|utto:cc.
lu:twa:glc: |as scc: t|c cauc:a a:c ua:agcc to a::a:gc a ccuo:ic suilc. A icw wouc:`s iaccs
ca: |ust |c scc: |c|i:c t|c tall wi:cows, agci:g, swollc:, ca:cwo::. A ,ou:g woua: cxquisitcl,
c:csscc a:c coiiicc is sta:ci:g a littlc to o:c sicc, |c: |caut, o:ic:tal. I|at is A:c:ca Voglc:
·o:clli. ·|c is |olci:g |c: iivc,ca:olc caug|tc: |, t|c |a:c.
I|c stucco is ila|i:g oii t|c wall, a wi:cow¡a:c |as |cc: :c¡laccc wit| a squa:c oi wooc, a
·u¡ic |as lost its |cac. I|c ¡ictu:c :aciatcs a gooc ci::c:, ¡c:s¡i:i:g |cat, lcc|c:, a:c gc:tlc
ccca,. Aitc: t|csc gc:tlcuc: |avc |clc|cc, ia:tcc a:c |ac t|ci: laccc coiicc, t|c, ¡:csuua|l,
gat|c: i: \at|ilcc vo: \c:|c:s` |ugc salo:, wit| its sucll oi uoulc, a:c t|c:c t|c, ua|c uusic.
I|c, a:c, li|c t|c a:gcls, ¡c:icct.
l was ccs¡c:atcl, as|aucc oi u, su¡c:iicial a:c a:tiiicial coucc, (:.« +/.o· 1|e·e P.¬e-}. I|is
s|auc was i:st:uctivc |ut cisag:cca|lc. l |ac |ac too uuc| clsc to t|i:| a|out as l |ac |ust |ccouc
ci:ccto: oi D:auatc:, iaci:g u, ii:st scaso: wit|out t|c ¡:os¡cct oi ¡ulli:g out. ·o l g:as¡cc at t|c
siu¡lcst solutio:s. l woulc |avc ¡:cic::cc to :csig:, |ut |ac couuittcc u,scli. All t|c co:t:acts
wc:c c:aw: u¡ a:c cvc:,t|i:g ¡:c¡a:cc cow: to t|c last cctail. I|c sc:i¡t was iu: a:c cvc:,o:c
was ¡lcascc.
·ouctiucs co:sicc:a|l, uo:c cou:agc is :cqui:cc to ¡ut o: t|c |:a|cs t|a: to ii:c t|c :oc|ct. l
lac|cc t|c cou:agc a:c :calizcc, too latc, w|at so:t oi iilu l oug|t to |avc uacc.
lu:is|uc:t was :ot u:io:t|coui:g. I|c w|olc aiiai: was a cisual iailu:c, wit| t|c aucic:cc as
wcll as ii:a:ciall,.
I|c wa: cauc. I|oug| scvc:al t|cat:cs a:c co:cc:t |alls wc:c closcc, a:c ua:, ot|c: uusical
g:ou¡s cis|a:ccc, t|c Voglc: Qua:tct |ac s¡ccial ¡c:uissio: to go o: tou:i:g.
·:c autuu: ca,, A:c:ca a:c t|c ot|c: uusicia:s iou:c t|cusclvcs i: last l:ussia, :ca:
lo:igs|c:g. I|c, wc:c livi:g i: a suall scasicc |otcl o: t|c coast a:c ¡la,i:g i: t|c vici:it,.
·:c cvc:i:g, A:c:ca was wal|i:g alo:g t|c s|o:c |, |c:scli, t|c su: sctti:g i: glowi:g uist,
t|c sca a|solutcl, calu. A:tillc:, ii:c coulc |c |ca:c i: t|c cista:cc. A:c:ca succc:l, sto¡¡cc,
awa:c oi two ¡owc:iul, siuulta:cous cx¡c:ic:ccs. o:c t|at s|c was ¡:cg:a:t, t|c ot|c: t|at a
gua:cia: a:gcl ¡:otcctcc |c:.
A icw ca,s latc:, t|c tow:s :ou:c lo:igs|c:g wc:c ca¡tu:cc |, kussia: t:oo¡s. A:c:ca, |c:
caug|tc:, |c: |us|a:c a:c t|c ot|c: uusicia:s wc:c ta|c: to a: asscu|l, ¡oi:t. I|ci: t:avcl
¡c:uit was :cga:ccc wit| sus¡icio:, a:c t|c, wc:c all loc|cc i:to a cclla:. I|:oug| wi:cows |ig|
u¡ i: t|c wall, t|c, coulc scc a: as¡|altcc sc|ool ¡la,g:ou:c. I|ci: i:st:uuc:ts wc:c co:iiscatcc.
¡o:at|a: Voglc: was o:cc:cc to u:c:css a:c was ta|c: wit| ot|c: ¡:iso:c:s to t|c sc|ool ,a:c to
|c s|ot. I|:oug| souc acui:ist:ativc |itc|, t|c, wc:c lcit sta:ci:g u¡ agai:st t|c wall io: scvc:al
|ou:s, t|c: t|c, wc:c o:cc:cc |ac| to t|c cclla:. I|c :cxt ca, t|c sauc ¡:occcu:c was :c¡catcc.
I|c gua:cs :a¡cc t|c wouc: ¡:iso:c:s. ·o as :ot to tc::ii, |c: caug|tc:, A:c:ca allowcc t|c
uc: to ua|c usc oi |c:. ·|c :cc|o:cc s|c |ac |cc: :a¡cc twc:t,t|:cc o: twc:t,iou: tiucs.
A icw ca,s latc:, kussia: clitc u:its a::ivcc i: tow:, a: acui:ist:atio: was sct u¡ a:c souc
kussia: solcic:s wc:c s|ot as a cctc::c:t. t|c kcc A:u, cocs :ot ¡lu:cc: t|c ccstitutc o: :a¡c t|c
ccic:cclcss.
I|c cclla: :oou was t:a:sio:ucc i:ou a ¡:iso: i:to a cwclli:g. Voglc: was givc: |ac| |is
clot|cs a:c |ac a |:ca|cow:, la, i: a co::c: s|a|i:g all ovc:, |ut |c |c¡t quict. A:c:ca a:c t|c
ot|c: uusicia:s sct oii o: a |u:t io: iooc.
Du:i:g o:c oi t|ci: cx¡ccitio:s, s|c uct t|c tow:`s t|cat:c ci:ccto: a:c souc acto:s. I|c,
ccciccc to visit t|c ·ouua:ca:t to gct souc |i:c oi t|cat:c a:c uusical activitics goi:g. A:c:ca
s¡o|c kussia:, so tolc a licutc:a:tcolo:cl a|out t|c ¡:o|cct a:c |c was i:tc:cstcc. I|:oug| souc
u:iat|oua|lc o:ga:izatio:al ca¡:icc t|c uusicia:s got |ac| t|ci: i:st:uuc:ts, u:cauagcc.
A icw ca,s latc:, A:c:ca a:c t|c t|cat:c ci:ccto: a::ou:ccc a soi:cc i: t|c tow: |all. I|c to¡
iloo: |ac go:c, |ut t|c uai: |all was iai:l, i:tact. At cig|t o`cloc|, t|c ¡:cuiscs wc:c iull to
ovc:ilowi:g wit| tow:s¡co¡lc, :ciugccs a:c t|c kussia: occu¡ic:s. I|c, ¡la,cc lac|, ·c|u|c:t
a:c l:a|us. I|c t|cat:c ci:ccto: a:c t|c :cuai:s oi |is cou¡a:, ¡c:io:ucc scc:cs i:ou too··.
I|c, co:ti:ucc io: scvc:al |ou:s, u:til |cav, :ai: coui:g t|:oug| t|c u:¡:otcctcc iloo:i:g a|ovc
¡ut a: c:c to t|c icstivitics.
I|c ¡c:io:ua:cc was :c¡catcc, a g:cat succcss. I|c c:t:a:cc icc was a ¡iccc oi coal, a: cgg, a
ca| oi |uttc: o: souc ot|c: :cccssit,. A:c:ca acui:istc:cc a:c o:ga:izcc a:c also saw t|at |c:
|us|a:c a:c t|c ot|c: uusicia:s ¡:acticcc :cgula:l,.
Aitc: t|c wa:, ¡o:at|a: Voglc: a|a:co:cc |is wiic a:c |ccauc ¡:oicsso: at souc Gc:ua:
acaccu,. lc was |, t|c: quitc w|itc|ai:cc, |is cou¡lcxio: as ii ¡ai:tcc wit| c|al|, |is |lac| c,cs
|u::i:g li|c coals, |is stouac| :ow g:otcsquc a:c |is |ca:t t:ou|lc c|:o:ic. lc livcc wit| t|:cc
¡c:ua:c:t uist:csscs.
A:c:ca scttlcc cow: i: ·tuttga:t a:c csta|lis|cc |c:scli as a uusic tcac|c:. la`|i la:ctci, |c:
ccvotcc ¡u¡il, was t:catcc wit| u:sc:tiuc:tal |i:c:css a:c ili:t|a:c :csolvc.
la|i`s ¡:o|lcu was sc:ious. ·|c |ac uacc a ca:cc: out oi talc:tcc uusical gc:c:osit,, wa:ut|
a:c tcu¡c:auc:t cou|i:cc wit| |caut, a:c :acia:cc. lut t|is cxquisitc |uilci:g stooc o: vc:,
s|a|, g:ou:c. ·|c lac|cc sou:c tcc|:iquc. I|c :csult was a ca:gc:ous u:cc:tai:t, |c:cat| t|c
glauo:ous sclico:iicc:cc. lc: co:cc:ts coulc |c |:illia:t o: a¡¡alli:g, cc¡c:ci:g o:
ci:cuusta:ccs.
la`|i la:ctci wc:t to A:c:ca Voglc:·o:clli to co:st:uct a ii:u iou:catio: |c:cat| t|at lovcl,
|uilci:g. lt tu::cc out to |c a toug| tas| cxtc:ci:g ovc: ua:, ,ca:s. \ca:w|ilc a: i:tiuatc
i:ic:cs|i¡ g:cw |ctwcc: t|c two wouc:.
l was occasio:all, allowcc to |c ¡:csc:t at |c: lcsso:s, at w|ic| t|c sauc :igo:ous sta:ca:cs
a¡¡licc as wit| Io:stc: lauua:c:. A ¡|:asc ¡luc|cc a¡a:t i:to its co:stituc:t ¡a:ts, ¡:actiscc
wit| ¡cca:tic ii:gc:i:g io: |ou:s, t|c: :casscu|lcc w|c: t|c tiuc was :i¡c.
. A:c:ca li|cc la|i`s |ig ¡ia:ist`s |a:cs, |c: tcu¡c:auc:t a:c |c: uusical talc:t, |ut
cou¡lai:cc a|out |c: i:colc:cc. ·|c was uc:cilcss, la|i was :cstlcss, |ut su|uittcc. I|c w|olc
|ccauc ia::cac|i:g, li|c a: a:al,sis, t|c solutio:s :ca:l, alwa,s oi a tcc|:ical |i:c, |ut tu::i:g o:
s¡i:itual co:sicc:atio:s i: t|c cou:sc oi t|c wo:|. li:gc: |oi:ts, |a:c, lowc: a:u, u¡¡c: a:u,
s|oulcc:, s¡i:c, ¡ostu:c, ii:gc:i:g. Do:`t c|cat, co:`t |u::, w|c: i: two ui:cs, sto¡ a:c t|i:|.
l:ou t|at |a: ,ou |avc t|c a:swc: to t|c w|olc ¡|:asc. ·a::, o:, ,ou uust |:cat|c t|c:c. W|, co
,ou |olc ,ou: |:cat| all t|c tiuc, cca: c|ilc· I|c:c`s o:l, |ali a: |ou: lcit :ow, |avc a littlc
¡atic:cc a:c ,ou`ll gct ,ou: tca. li t|c scco:c ii:gc: |oi:t is t:ou|li:g ,ou, t|c: t|c t:ou|lc is
|c:c.` ;A :i:gcc io:cii:gc: |ctwcc: t|c ¡u¡il`s s|oulcc:|laccs,. :ow ¡la, ls|a:¡ twc:t, tiucs,
:o, t|i:t, tiucs, |ut ·|.-| «|o· ,.o.e 1..-¸! li:st wit| ,ou: io:cii:gc:, t|c: uicclc ii:gc:. W|c:c
cocs it all couc i:ou· 1|o·· .·. I|c io:cc coucs i:ou t|c stouac|, co:`t c|cat wit| ,ou: ¡ostu:c.
I|c:c`s :o i:st:uuc:t, :cvc: will |c, t|at ca: :c:cc: t|c c,:auisu lcct|ovc: iuagi:cc i: |is
silc:t wo:lc. ·cc, :ow it sou:cs lovcl,. You w|o |avc so uuc| |caut, i: ,ou, ,ou uust lca:: to
|:i:g it out. lct`s go o: t|c:. lc:c ,ou |avc a ¡:cuo:itio: oi w|at will |a¡¡c: to us twc:t,:i:c
|a:s latc:, ,ou |a:cl, :oticc it, |ut it`s iu¡o:ta:t. :o ¡acci:g i: lcct|ovc:, |c s¡ca|s
¡c:suasivcl,, iu:iousl,, so::owiull,, c|cc:iull,, ¡ai:iull,, :cvc: uuu|li:g. You uust:`t uuu|lc,
:cvc: ¡:ocucc couuo: stuii: You uust |:ow w|at ,ou wa:t cvc: ii it`s w:o:g. \ca:i:g a:c
co:tcxt. Go a|cac :ow. I|at cocs:`t uca: cvc:,t|i:g |as to |c cu¡|asizcc, t|c:c`s a ciiic:c:cc
|ctwcc: cu¡|asis a:c sig:iiica:cc. :ow lct`s go o:, |c ¡atic:t, ¡:actisc ¡atic:cc. W|c: ,ou wa:t
to sto¡, ,ou |avc to co::cct u¡ to a s¡ccial |attc:, t|at cou|lcs ,ou: ciio:t. I|c:c`s :ot|i:g so
awiul as a guilt, co:scic:cc i: a:t. ·to¡ t|c:c. A ·. \, i:ic:c lo:owitz wc:t to t|c ¡ia:o cvc:,
uo::i:g aitc: |:ca|iast a:c ¡la,cc a :uu|c: oi ·ua|o: c|o:cs. lc saic |c was was|i:g |is ca:s.`
l listc:cc to A:c:ca a:c t|oug|t a|out t|cat:c, a|out u,scli a:c acto:s, ou: slo¡¡i:css, ou:
ig:o:a:cc, t|c cau:cc couuo: stuii wc ¡:ocucc i: cxc|a:gc io: ¡a,uc:t.
l: ou: :cuotc cultu:al la:csca¡c, wc cc:tai:l, |avc |ac a :uu|c: oi outsta:ci:g acto:s w|o
lac| |asic tcc|:iquc. kcl,i:g o: u:cou|tcc c|a:isua, t|c, go o: stagc a:c sct u¡ a |i:c oi scxual
:clatio:s|i¡ wit| t|c aucic:cc. W|c: t|at :clatio:s|i¡ is :ot t|c:c, t|c, g:ow co:iuscc, io:gct
t|ci: li:cs ;w|ic| t|c, |avc:`t lca::t ¡:o¡c:l,,, |ccouc ciiiusc a:c slu::cc, a :ig|tua:c io: t|ci:
icllow ¡la,c:s a:c t|c ¡:ou¡tc:. I|c, |avc |cc: |:illia:t auatcu:s wit| uouc:ts, ¡c:|a¡s w|olc
cvc:i:gs, oi cazzli:g i:s¡i:atio:, |ut wit| u:cvc: g:c,:css, stiuula:ts, c:ugs a:c alco|ol i:
|ctwcc:.
I|c g:cat Gosta l|ua: is a gooc cxau¡lc. lis cx¡c:ic:cc, |is uagical c|a:isua a:c |is
|:illia:cc wc:c oi :o usc to |iu. lis uisc:, ca: |c scc: i: |is iilus. I|c cauc:a :cvcals |is
|uu|ug, |is cu¡ti:css a:c u:cc:tai:t,, |is lac| oi scxual icc:tit,.
lis ¡:cuic:cs wc:c ¡:o|a|l, uag:iiicc:t. lut t|c iiit| ¡c:io:ua:cc· ·: t|c iiitict|· l saw |is
laulct o: a ¡c:icctl, o:ci:a:, I|u:sca,. lt was a ¡:ivatc cis¡la, oi a::oga:cc a:c u:uotivatcc
aiicctatio: ¡c:io:ucc i: ciligc:t cialoguc wit| |is i:c:casi:gl, agitatcc ¡:ou¡tc:.
lo: a icw suuuc:s, la|i a:c l :c:tcc a |ousc i: t|c a:c|i¡clago o: :o:t| ·::o, a ¡at:icia: villa
i: sto:c, o: a |cacla:c wit| a vicw out towa:cs ¡u:gi:ui|a:cc: a:c t|c i:lct to Dala:o. I|c
|cacla:c was sc¡a:atcc i:ou t|c :cst oi t|c isla:c |, t|ic| a:cic:t io:cst w|ic| was ua:c|i:g
towa:cs t|c |ousc a:c |ac al:cac, i:vaccc t|c st:aw|c::, |cc a:c ¡otato ¡atc|. A uoist ciu:css
:cig:cc wit|i: it, o:c|ics go:c wilc gliuuc:i:g i: t|c twilig|t a:c t|c uosquitocs a:g:, a:c
¡oiso:ous.
l: t|is cxotic c:vi:o:uc:t, wc cclc|:atcc suuuc: la|i, |c: uot|c:, ou: Gc:ua: uaic,
kosic, a:c l. la|i was ¡:cg:a:t a:c suiic:i:g i:ou a |a:ulcss |ut cxt:cucl, a::o,i:g cou¡lai:t
callcc :cstlcss lcgs. ·|c |ac co:ti:uous itc|i:g i: |:ccs a:c tocs, so |ac to uovc a|out all t|c tiuc.
:ig|ts wc:c t|c wo:st, as s|c coulc:`t slcc¡.
la|i oitc: uscc to cou¡lai: ovc: littlc t|i:gs, |ut s|c c:cu:cc t|is suiic:i:g wit| ¡atic:cc a:c
iat kussia: :ovcls. ·|c wc:t o: c:clcss wa:cc:i:gs t|:oug| t|c ca:| |ou:s, souctiucs ialli:g
aslcc¡ as s|c wal|cc, a:c w|c: s|c wo|c s|c iou:c s|c |ac co:c t|i:gs s|c |ac |cc: quitc u:awa:c
oi. ·:c :ig|t l was wo|c: |, a |a:g a:c a c:, oi |o::o:. la|i was l,i:g at t|c |ottou oi t|c stai:s.
·|c |ac iallc: aslcc¡ w|ilc wal|i:g a:c tuu|lcc |caclo:g. ·|c csca¡cc wit| a i:ig|t a:c a icw
g:azcs.
\, slcc¡i:g ucc|a:isu icll a¡a:t a:c u, i:sou:ia, o: ¡oo: slcc¡, |ccauc c|:o:ic.
l au still all :ig|t as lo:g as l slcc¡ io: iou: o: iivc |ou:s. l au oitc: c:aw: u¡ i: a s¡i:al out oi
ccc¡ sluu|c:, a: i::csisti|lc io:cc w|ic| ua|cs uc wo:cc: w|c:c it |iccs itscli. ls it ciiiusc
iccli:gs oi guilt o: a: i:cxti:guis|a|lc :ccc to co:t:ol :calit,· l co:`t |:ow. I|c o:l, |c, t|i:g is
to ua|c t|c :ig|t c:cu:a|lc wit| |oo|s, uusic, |iscuits a:c ui:c:al watc:. Wo:st a:c t|c |ou:s oi
t|c woli i: t|c suall |ou:s |ctwcc: t|:cc a:c iivc. I|at is w|c: t|c ccuo:s couc. uo:tiiicatio:,
loat|i:g, ica:, a:c :agc. I|c:c is :o ¡oi:t i: t:,i:g to su¡¡:css t|cu, io: t|at ua|cs it wo:sc.
W|c: u, c,cs ti:c oi :caci:g, t|c:c is uusic. l closc u, c,cs a:c listc: wit| co:cc:t:atio: a:c
givc t|c ccuo:s i:cc :ci:. couc o: t|c:, l |:ow ,ou, l |:ow |ow ,ou iu:ctio:, ,ou |ust ca::, o:
u:til ,ou ti:c oi it. Aitc: a w|ilc t|c |ottou ialls out oi t|cu a:c t|c, |ccouc ioolis|, t|c:
cisa¡¡ca:, a:c l slcc¡ io: a icw |ou:s.
Da:icl ·c|astia: was |o:: |, cacsa:ca: o: ¯ ·c¡tcu|c: 1-o!, la|i a:c A:c:ca Voglc:
la|ou:i:g ccasclcssl, at t|c |c,|oa:c u:til t|c last |ou:. I|c cvc:i:g aitc: t|c cclivc:,, w|c: la|i
|ac iallc: aslcc¡ aitc: scvc: uo:t|s oi to:uc:t, A:c:ca too| t|c sco:c oi 1|e Mo¸.. t!o·e cow:
i:ou t|c s|cli. l tolc |c: a|out u, c:cau oi a ¡:ocuctio: a:c A:c:ca loo|cc u¡ t|c c|o:us su:g |,
t|c Gua:cs a:c t|c lic:, lclucts. ·|c ¡oi:tcc out |ow :cua:|a|lc it was t|at \oza:t, a ·at|olic,
|ac c|osc: a lac|i:s¡i:cc c|o:us io: |is a:c ·c|i|a:ccc:`s ucssagc. ·|c s|owcc uc i: t|c sco:c
a:c saic. I|is uust |c t|c |ccl oi t|c |oat. 1|e Mo¸.. t!o·e is ciiiicult to stcc:. Wit|out a |ccl, it
cocs:`t wo:| at all. I|c lac| c|o:us is t|c |ccl.`
Wc lcaicc |ac| a:c cauc to la¡agc:o`s a:c laui:c`s c|cc:iul ilig|t i:ou \o:ostatos iollowcc
|, t|c cuct ie. Mo--e.-, «e!.|e t.e/e ¡..|!e-. loo| |c:c,` s|c saic, ¡oi:ti:g. Aluost li|c a
¡a:c:t|csis, |c:c`s a:ot|c: ucssagc. lovc as t|c |cst t|i:g i: liic. lovc as t|c i::c:uost uca:i:g
i: liic.`
A ¡:ocuctio: st:ctc|cs its tc:taclc :oots a lo:g wa, cow: t|:oug| tiuc a:c c:caus. l li|c to
iuagi:c t|c :oots as cwclli:g i: t|c s¡ccial :oou oi t|c soul, w|c:c t|c, lic uatu:i:g couio:ta|l,
li|c uig|t, c|ccscs. ·ouc, :clucta:tl, o: quitc c:t|usiasticall, a:c quitc oitc:, couc i:to vicw,
ot|c:s co :ot cuc:gc at all. I|c, scc :o :cccssit, to ta|c ¡a:t i: t|is ¡c:¡ctual ¡:ocuctio:.
I|is sto:c oi slow iccas a:c swiit ilas|cs oi i:s¡i:atio: |cgi:s to c|| awa, :ow, |ut l iccl :o
sc:sc oi sac:css o: loss.

1-
l, t|c ca:l, 1-¯0s, l |ac uacc souc cu|ious iilus, |ut ca::cc quitc a lot oi uo:c,. lc:so:all,
l was i: ¡oo: s|a¡c aitc: u, g:a:cioscl, t|oug|tout |ut u:succcssiul ¡:ocuctio: wit| u,scli a:c
liv ullua:: i: t|c uai: ¡a:ts a:c t|c stclcs oi la:o as t|c sctti:g. ·:c ¡:otago:ist |ac uovcc o:
a:c l was lcit o: t|c sct. l cic quitc a gooc ¡:ocuctio: oi + Ð.eo¬ lla,, icll i: lovc wit| t|c lovc oi
a ,ou:g act:css, was a¡¡allcc at t|c ucc|a:isu oi :c¡ctitio:, :ct:catcc to u, isla:c a:c, cu:i:g a
lo:g attac| oi ucla:c|ol,, w:otc a iilu callcc c..e· o-1 P|.·¡e.·.
l collcctcc u¡ u, savi:gs, ¡c:suaccc t|c iou: uai: c|a:actc:s to i:vcst t|ci: iccs as
s|a:c|olcc:s a:c |o::owcc |ali a uillio: |:o:o: i:ou t|c lilu l:stitutc. I|is causcc iuucciatc
:csc:tuc:t auo:g ua:, iilu ua|c:s w|o cou¡lai:cc t|at lc:gua: was ta|i:g t|c |:cac i:ou t|c
uout|s oi |is ¡oo: ·wccis| collcagucs alt|oug| |c coulc ii:a:cc |is iilus a|:oac. I|at was :ot t|c
casc. Aitc: a :ow oi scuiiailu:cs, t|c:c wc:c :o |ac|c:s, cit|c: at |ouc o: a|:oac. li:c. l |avc
alwa,s a¡¡:cciatcc t|c |o:cst |:utalit, oi t|c i:tc::atio:al iilu wo:lc. ·:c :ccc :cvc: cou|t
o:c`s wo:t| i: t|c ua:|ct. \i:c was zc:o. lo: t|c scco:c tiuc i: u, liic, t|c c:itics |ac sta:tcc
tal|i:g a|out u, ca:cc: coui:g to a: c:c. ·t:a:gcl, c:oug|, l :cuai:cc u:aiicctcc.
Wc uacc t|c iilu i: a: atuos¡|c:c oi c|cc:iul co:iicc:cc. I|c sctti:g was a ccca,cc olc
ua:o: |ousc outsicc \a:ici:cc, t|c ¡a:| suiiicic:tl, ovc:g:ow: a:c t|c lovcl, :oous i: suc| |ac
co:citio: t|at wc coulc co w|at wc li|cc wit| t|cu. Wc livcc a:c wo:|cc t|c:c io: cig|t wcc|s.
·ouctiucs l ¡:o|a|l, co uou:: t|c iact t|at l :o lo:gc: ua|c iilus. I|is is :atu:al a:c it
¡asscs. \ost oi all l uiss wo:|i:g wit| ·vc: :,|vist, ¡c:|a¡s |ccausc wc a:c |ot| uttc:l,
ca¡tivatcc |, t|c ¡:o|lcus oi lig|t, t|c gc:tlc, ca:gc:ous, c:cauli|c, livi:g, ccac, clca:, uist,,
|ot, violc:t, |a:c, succc:, ca:|, s¡:i:g li|c, ialli:g, st:aig|t, sla:ti:g, sc:sual, su|cucc, liuitcc,
¡oiso:ous, calui:g, ¡alc lig|t. lig|t.
lt too| tiuc to cou¡lctc c..e· o-1 P|.·¡e.·. I|c sou:c wo:| a:c la|o:ato:, t:ials |ccauc
lc:gt|, a:c cx¡c:sivc. Wit|out waiti:g io: t|c :csult, wc sta:tcc o: :.e-e· ¡..¬ o Mo...o¸e, uostl,
io: iu:. l: t|c uicst oi s|ooti:g, u, law,c: ¡|o:cc to tcll uc t|at t|c uo:c, woulc :u: out
wit|i: a uo:t|. l solc t|c ·ca:ci:avia: :ig|ts to tclcvisio: a:c savcc ou: six|ou: iilu |, a
w|is|c:.
lt tu::cc out to |c ciiiicult to ii:c a: Auc:ica: cist:i|uto: io: c..e· o-1 P|.·¡e.·. laul lo|:c:,
u, agc:t, a wil, olc t:acc:, too| a lot oi t:ou|lc wit| :o :csult. A wcll|:ow: cist:i|uto: tu::cc
to lo|:c: aitc: a sc:cc:i:g a:c ,cllcc, l`ll c|a:gc ,ou io: t|is cau:cc sc:cc:i:g.` l: t|c c:c, a
suall ii:u s¡ccializi:g i: |o::o: iilus a:c soit ¡o:: too| ¡it, o: us. I|c:c was a ga¡ i: o:c oi :cw
Yo:|`s qualit, t|cat:cs a Visco:ti iilu |ac :ot |cc: cou¡lctcc o: tiuc. Iwo ca,s |cio:c
·|:istuas, c..e· o-1 P|.·¡e.· |ac its wo:lc ¡:cuic:c.
l:g:ic a:c l |ac ua::icc i: :ovcu|c: a:c uovcc i:to a: a¡a:tuc:t |ousc i: la:la¡la:, a|out
as |cautiiul as a sla| oi toiicc, o: t|c sitc oi t|c kcc lousc w|c:c ·t:i:c|c:g livcc wit| la::ict
lossc. ·: t|c ii:st :ig|t, l was wo|c: |, iai:t ¡ia:o uusic coui:g t|:oug| t|c iloo:. lt was
·c|uua::`s +o¡·.|«o-¸, o:c oi ·t:i:c|c:g`s iavou:itc ¡icccs. A i:ic:cl, g:ccti:g, ¡c:|a¡s·
Wc ¡:c¡a:cc io: ·|:istuas wit| a cc:tai: sc:sc oi u:casc a|out t|c iutu:c. la|i uscc to sa, s|c
cic:`t ca:c a|out uo:c,, |ut t|at uo:c, was gooc io: t|c :c:vcs. l was :at|c: so::, t|at
·i:cuatog:a¡|`s activitics woulc ¡:o|a|l, |avc to ccasc.
I|c ca, |cio:c ·|:istuas lvc, laul lo|:c: tclc¡|o:cc. lis voicc sou:ccc st:a:gc a:c |c was
uuu|li:g. lt`s a :avc, l:gua:. lt`s a :avc:` l cic:`t |:ow w|at a :avc was a:c it too| souc tiuc to
a|so:| t|is t:iuu¡|. Ic: ca,s latc: c..e· o-1 P|.·¡e.· |ac |cc: solc to uost cou:t:ics w|c:c uovic
t|cat:cs still cxistcc.
·i:cuatog:a¡| uovcc i:to s¡acious ¡:cuiscs. Wc iixcc u¡ a lovcl, sc:cc:i:g :oou wit|
¡c:icct cqui¡uc:t, ou: oiiicc |ccauc a ¡lcasa:t uccti:g ¡lacc a:c a cc:t:c oi quictl, cx¡a:ci:g
activitics. l csta|lis|cc u,scli as a iilu ¡:ocucc: a:c wo:|cc o: ¡:o|ccts wit| ot|c: ci:ccto:s.
l co:`t t|i:| l was a ¡a:ticula:l, gooc iilu ¡:ocucc:, |ccausc l uacc g:cat ciio:ts :ot to |c
coui:cc:i:g, a:c t|us |ccauc cis|o:cst, ia: too c:cou:agi:g a:c u:ccua:ci:g. l |ac va:ious
o¡¡o:tu:itics to :cilcct o: lo:c:s \a:ustcct`s |:illia:cc as a ¡:ocucc:, |is ii:u:css, :ut|lcss:css,
|o:cst, a:c guts, |ut also |is tact, u:cc:sta:ci:g a:c sc:sitivit,. li wc |ac |ac a si:glc ¡:ocucc: oi
\a:ustcct`s ca¡acit,, ou: uost giitcc iilu ua|c:s woulc :ot |c so wastcc. ¡a: I:ocll, Vilgot
·|oua:, la, lolla|, ko, A:cc:sso:, \ai Zcttc:li:g, \a:ia::c A|::c, l|cll G:ccc, lo Wicc:|c:g.
lo:g i:uitlcss ¡c:iocs oi u:cc:tai:t, a:c i:sccu:it,, ovc:cou¡c:sati:g sclicstccu a:c :c|cctcc
¡:o|ccts. ·uccc:l, souc ii:a:cial su¡¡o:t, t|c: silc:cc, i:ciiic:c:cc a:c c|ic|c:livc:cc
¡:ouotio:. \isio:tu:c, iailu:c, t|c littlc g:c, suilc wc givc w|c: ou: wo:st ica:s a:c :calizcc.
W|at cic wc tcll ,ou·
A gooc ua::iagc, gooc i:ic:cs, a wcll situatcc a:c suoot|l, iu:ctio:i:g ii:u. Gc:tlc wi:cs
wc:c |lowi:g :ou:c u, soucw|at ¡:ot:uci:g ca:s a:c liic tastcc |cttc: t|a: cvc:. :.e-e· ¡..¬ o
Mo...o¸e was o:c succcss, 1|e Mo¸.. t!o·e a:ot|c:.
¡ust to :u| s|oulcc:s wit| iauc io: o:cc, l:g:ic a:c l wc:t to loll,wooc. l was oiiiciall,
i:vitcc to |olc a scui:a: at t|c lilu ·c|ool i: los A:gclcs, w|ic| iittcc i: cxccllc:tl,, o: t|c
su:iacc a: i::c¡:oac|a|lc cxcusc, |ut scc:ctl, a: u:iauilia: a:c aluost io:|iccc: i:culgc:cc.
lt was all |c,o:c ou: cx¡cctatio:s. t|c ¡oiso:ous ,cllow s|, a|ovc los A:gclcs, t|c oiiicial
lu:c|co: wit| ci:ccto:s a:c acto:s, t|c i:ccsc:i|a|lc ci::c: at Di:o Dc lau:c:tiis` ¡alacc wit| its
vista ovc: t|c cit, a:c t|c laciiic, |is wiic ·ilva:a \a:ga:o, t|c ¡c:icct |caut, oi t|c 1-.0s, :ow a
wa:cc:i:g s|clcto: wit| a wcll uaccu¡ c:a:iuu a:c :cstlcss wou:ccc c,cs, t|ci: |cautiiul iiitcc:
,ca:olc caug|tc: i:sc¡a:a|lc i:ou |c: iat|c:, t|c |ac iooc, t|c suoot| :o:c|ala:t i:ic:cli:css.
A:ot|c: cvc:t o: a:ot|c: cvc:i:g u, agc:t laul lo|:c:, a vctc:a: oi loll,wooc, |ac i:vitcc
souc clcc:l, ci:ccto:s to ci::c:, Williau W,lc:, lill, Wilcc:, Williau Wcllua:. I|c atuos¡|c:c
was lig|t|ca:tcc, aluost |oll,. Wc tal|cc a|out t|c ci:cct a:c su¡c:| c:auatic vc:vc oi Auc:ica:
iilus, Williau Wcllua: tolc us |ow at t|c |cgi::i:g oi t|c 1-!0s |c |ac lca::t t|c ¡:oicssio: |,
ci:ccti:g twoacto:s. I|csc c:tailcc csta|lis|i:g t|c situatio: quic|l,. A scc:c s|owi:g t|c cust,
st:cct outsicc a saloo:, a suall cog sitti:g o: t|c stc¡s. I|c |c:o coucs out oi t|c coo:, ¡ats t|c
cog a:c :iccs oii. I|c villai: coucs out oi t|c coo:, |ic|s t|c cog a:c :iccs awa,. I|c c:aua ca:
sta:t. Wit|i: a ui:utc, t|c aucic:cc |as ccciccc o: its a:ti¡at|ics a:c s,u¡at|ics.
la:lic: t|at ,ca:, l |ac :cac A:t|u: ¡a:ov`s t..¬o! :..eo¬, a ¡owc:iul a:c co:t:ovc:sial |oo| l
acui:cc. lt ¡:o¡ou:ccc a ¡s,c|iat:ic t|c:a¡, wit| ¡a:tici¡ati:g ¡atic:ts a:c :clativcl, ¡assivc
t|c:a¡ists. lis t|co:ics wc:c i:cs| a:c |olc, lucicl, a:c iasci:ati:gl, laic out. l was cxt:cucl,
stiuulatcc a:c sta:tcc ccvclo¡i:g a tclcvisio: iilu i: iou: ¡a:ts alo:g ¡a:ov li:cs. As |is cli:ic was
i: los A:gclcs, l as|cc laul lo|:c: to a::a:gc a uccti:g. A:t|u: ¡a:ov cauc to lo|:c:`s oiiicc,
wit| |is lovcl, woua: i:ic:c. lc was a slc:cc:, aluost i:agilc ua:, wit| cu:l, g:c, |ai: a:c a:
1

att:activc ¡cwis| iacc. Wc wc:c iuucciatcl, o: t|c sauc wavclc:gt|. Wc wc:c cu:ious a:c
u:cu|a::asscc, ig:o:i:g t|c co:vc:tio:s, a:c swiitl, t:icc to gct cow: to cssc:tials.
\a:, ,ca:s ago out at lilu Iow: l was visitcc |, ¡c:ouc ko||i:s a:c |is cxquisitcl, |cautiiul
o:ic:tal cou¡a:io:. I|at cx¡c:ic:cc was siuila:, t|c iuucciatc co:tact, t|c cas, |ut sco:c|i:g
touc|, t|c sc:sc oi loss o: ¡a:ti:g a:c t|c u:gc:t assu:a:ccs oi a s¡ccc, :cu:io:.
lut t|at cic :ot |a¡¡c: t|is tiuc, a:c :o: cocs it cvc: |a¡¡c: ¸o.·e li|c t|at. lt is sa|otagcc |,
t|c ¡casa:t li|c lc:gua: cu|a::assuc:t, tiuicit, i: iacc oi u:¡:ccicta|lc cuotio:s. lcst to
wit|c:aw, sa, :ot|i:g, cvacc t|c issuc, liic is :is|, c:oug| as it is, t|a:| ,ou. ·a:ciull,, l :ct:cat,
u, cu:iosit, tu::cc i:to a:xict,. I|a:| Goc io: t|c g:cat cvc:,ca,. I|at ca: |c su¡c:viscc a:c
ci:cctcc.
to.e ·. to.e was i:tc:ccc to |c a iilu a|out c:caus a:c :calit,. I|c c:caus wc:c to |ccouc
ta:gi|lc :calit,. kcalit, woulc cissolvc a:c |ccouc c:cau. l |avc occasio:all, ua:agcc to uovc
u:|i:cc:cc |ctwcc: c:cau a:c :calit,, i: te.·.-o, :o«1o·· o-1 1.-·e! a:c c..e· o-1 P|.·¡e.·. I|is
tiuc it was uo:c ciiiicult. \, i:tc:tio:s :cqui:cc a: i:s¡i:atio: w|ic| iailcc uc. I|c c:cau
scquc:ccs |ccauc s,:t|ctic, t|c :calit, |lu::cc. I|c:c a:c a icw solic scc:cs |c:c a:c t|c:c, a:c
liv ullua:: st:ugglcc li|c a lio:, |ut :ot cvc: s|c coulc savc t|c cului:atio:, t|c ¡:iual sc:cau
w|ic| auou:tcc to c:t|usiastic |ut illcigcstcc i:uit oi u, :caci:g. A:tistic licc:cc s:cc:cc
t|:oug| t|c t|i: ia|:ic.
lt was g:owi:g ca:| wit|out u, scci:g t|c ca:|:css.
ltalia: tclcvisio: wa:tcc to co a iilu a|out t|c liic oi ¡csus. I|c:c wc:c ¡owc:iul |ac|c:s
|c|i:c t|c ¡:o|cct a:c a iivcua: cclcgatio: a::ivcc i: ·wccc: to couuissio: t|c wo:|. l
:cs¡o:ccc wit| a cctailcc s,:o¡sis o: t|c last io:t,cig|t |ou:s oi t|c ·aviou:`s liic. lac| c¡isocc
was a|out o:c oi t|c uai: c|a:actc:s i: t|c c:aua. lo:tius lilatc a:c |is wiic, lctc: w|o cc:icc
liu, \a:,, uot|c: oi ¡csus, \a:, \agcalc:c, t|c solcic: w|o ¡laitcc t|c c:ow: oi t|o::s, ·iuo:
oi ·,:c:c w|o ca::icc t|c c:oss, ¡ucas t|c |ct:a,c:. lac| oi t|csc c|a:actc:s |ac a: c¡isocc i:
w|ic| t|ci: co:i:o:tatio: wit| t|c c:aua oi t|c lassio: i::ct:icva|l, ccst:o,cc t|ci: :calit, a:c
c|a:gcc t|ci: livcs. l tolc t|c tclcvisio: ¡co¡lc t|at l wa:tcc to iilu it o: la:o. I|c tow: |all
:ou:c Vis|, woulc |c t|c wall :ou:c ¡c:usalcu. I|c sca |clow t|c stclcs was to |c la|c
Gc::csa:ct a:c l wa:tcc to :aisc t|c c:oss o: la:g|auua:`s sto:, |ill.
I|c ltalia:s :cac it, ¡o:cc:cc a:c |ac|cc awa, |lca|l,. I|c, ¡aic u¡ wit| gooc g:acc a:c
¡asscc t|c assig:uc:t to l:a:co Zciii:clli, it |ccauc t|c liic a:c ccat| oi ¡csus i: a ¡:ctt, ¡ictu:c
|oo|, a :cal /./!.o ¡oo¡e.o¬.
lt was g:owi:g ca:|c: |ut l cic :ot scc t|c ca:|:css.
\, liic was ¡lcasa:t a:c at last i:cc oi cx|austi:g co:ilicts. l |ac lca::t to ccal wit| u, ccuo:s
a:c was also a|lc to :calizc o:c oi t|c c:caus oi u, c|ilc|ooc. A |u:c:cc ,ca:olc scuicc:clict
|a:: |clo:gcc to t|c :csto:cc |ousc at Da`u|a o: la:o. Wc :c|uilt it a:c uscc it as a ¡:iuitivc
iilu stucio io: :.e-e· ¡..¬ o Mo...o¸e. W|c: t|c iilui:g was ovc:, wc tu::cc t|c stucio i:to a
sc:cc:i:g :oou wit| a: i:gc:ious cciti:g a:ca i: t|c |a,loit.
W|c: 1|e Mo¸.. t!o·e cciti:g was cou¡lctcc, wc i:vitcc souc oi t|osc w|o |ac |cc: i:volvcc,
togct|c: wit| souc i:|a|ita:ts oi la:o a:c a :uu|c: oi c|ilc:c:, to ou: wo:lc ¡:cuic:c. lt was
August a:c a iull uoo:, t|c uist swcc¡i:g i: ovc: Da`u|a \a:s|, t|c olc |ousc a:c uill glowi:g
i: t|c low colc lig|t. I|c |ousc`s ow: g|ost, t|c kig|tcous ¡ucgc, sig|cc i: t|c lilac |us|cs.
l: t|c i:tc:val, wc lit lc:gal lig|ts a:c c:a:| c|au¡ag:c a:c a¡¡lc |uicc, toasti:g t|c D:ago:,
t|c ·¡ca|c:`s :aggcc glovc, la¡agc:a, w|o |ac |ac a caug|tc: a:c t|c succcssiul co:clusio: oi u,
liiclo:g |ou::c, wit| 1|e Mo¸.. t!o·e i: u, luggagc.
As o:c gcts o: i: ,ca:s, t|c :ccc io: cist:actio: cccli:cs. l au g:atciul io: |i:cl,, u:cvc:tiul
ca,s a:c :ot too slcc¡lcss :ig|ts. \, la:o sc:cc:i:g:oou givcs uc u:tolc ¡lcasu:c. I|:oug| t|c
i:ic:cl, accouuocatio: oi t|c lilu l:stitutc`s ·i:cuat|cquc, l ca: |o::ow i:ou t|ci:
i:cx|austi|lc sto:c oi olc iilus. \, c|ai: is couio:ta|lc, t|c :oou cos,, it g:ows ca:| a:c t|c ii:st
t:cu|li:g ¡ictu:c is outli:cc o: t|c w|itc wall. lt is quict, t|c ¡:o|ccto: |uuui:g iai:tl, i: t|c
wclli:sulatcc ¡:o|cctio: :oou. I|c s|acows uovc, tu::i:g t|ci: iaccs towa:cs uc, u:gi:g uc to
¡a, attc:tio: to t|ci: ccsti:ics.
·ixt, ,ca:s |avc go:c |, |ut t|c cxcitcuc:t is still t|c sauc.

!0
l: 1-¯0, lau:c:cc ·livic: |ac ¡c:suaccc uc to stagc ue11o co/!e. at t|c :atio:al I|cat:c i:
lo:co:, wit| \aggic ·uit| i: t|c titlc :olc. l ¡ac|cc u, suitcasc a:c lcit, wit| co:sicc:a|lc i::c:
:csista:cc a:c iull oi io:c|oci:gs.
\, |otcl :oou was ca:| a:c ci:t,, t|c t:aiiic :ois, outsicc, s|a|i:g t|c |uilci:g a:c :attli:g t|c
wi:cow¡a:cs. I|c:c was a sucll oi cau¡ a:c uoulc a:c t|c :aciato: to t|c :ig|t oi t|c coo: uacc
:uu|li:g :oiscs. ·ouc suall s|i:, i:sccts, |cautiiul |ut out oi ¡lacc, livcc i: t|c |at|. I|c su¡¡c:
wit| t|c :cw lo:c ·livic: a:c t|c acto:s to wclcouc uc tu::cc out |acl,, t|c iooc ¡ava:csc a:c
i:cci|lc. ·:c oi t|c acto:s was al:cac, c:u:|. lc tolc uc t|at ·t:i:c|c:g a:c l|sc: wc:c
u:¡la,a|lc ci:osau:s, w|ic| siu¡l, wc:t to ¡:ovc t|at |ou:gcois t|cat:c was o: its wa, out. l
as|cc w|, t|c |cll |c was ta|i:g ¡a:t i: ue11o co/!e., a:c |c saic t|at t|c:c wc:c .000 u:cu¡lo,cc
acto:s a:c act:csscs i: lo:co:. lo:c ·livic: suilcc a littlc w:,l, a:c tolc uc t|at ou: i:ic:c was
a: cxccllc:t acto:, a:c t|c iact t|at |c |ccauc :cvolutio:a:, w|c: c:u:| was :ot|i:g to wo::,
a|out. Wc |:o|c u¡ ca:l,.
I|c :atio:al I|cat:c was ¡:ovisio:all, ¡la,i:g i: :c:tcc ¡:cuiscs w|ilc t|c :cw t|cat:c was
|ci:g |uilt o: t|c sout| |a:|. I|c :c|ca:sal :oou was a co:c:ctc a:c co::ugatcc i:o: s|cc i: a
s¡acious ,a:c co:tai:i:g sti:|i:g ga:|agc |i:s. W|c: t|c su: |lazcc cow: o: t|c uctal :ooi, t|c
|cat was aluost u:|ca:a|lc. I|c:c wc:c :o wi:cows. l:o: ¡illa:s cvc:, iivc uct:cs |clc u¡ t|c
:ooi, so t|c scc:c:, |ac to |c ¡laccc |c|i:c a:c i: i:o:t oi t|csc sta:c|io:s. I|c:c wc:c two
lavato:ics |ctwcc: t|c :c|ca:sal :oou a:c t|c tcu¡o:a:, acui:ist:atio: |ut. I|c, wc:c io:cvc:
ovc:ilowi:g a:c sta:| oi u:i:c a:c :ottc: iis|.
I|c acto:s wc:c cxccllc:t, souc oi t|cu outsta:ci:g. I|ci: ¡:oicssio:alisu a:c s¡ccc
i:ig|tc:cc uc a littlc a:c l at o:cc:calizcc t|ci: wo:|i:g uct|ocs wc:c ciiic:c:t i:ou ou:s. I|c,
|ac lca::t t|ci: li:cs |, t|c ii:st :c|ca:sal. As soo: as t|c, |ac t|c scc:c:,, t|c, sta:tcc acti:g at a
iast tcu¡o. l as|cc t|cu to slow cow: a littlc a:c t|c, lo,all, t:icc to, |ut it |cwilcc:cc t|cu.
lo:c ·livic: |ac ca:cc:, |ut a¡¡ca:cc i: |is acui:ist:atio: |ut cvc:, uo::i:g at :i:c o`cloc|,
wo:|cc all ca, a:c ¡la,cc ·|,loc| scvc:al :ig|ts a wcc|, two ¡c:io:ua:ccs o: souc ca,s. ·:c
·atu:ca, l wc:t to scc |iu i: |is c:au¡cc a:c u:couio:ta|lc c:cssi:g :oou aitc: t|c ii:st
¡c:io:ua:cc. lc was sitti:g i: |is u:cc:clot|cs a:c a :aggcc ua|cu¡ ovc:all, ccat|l, ¡alc a:c
swcati:g ¡:oiuscl,. ·ouc u:a¡¡ctizi:g sa:cwic|cs wc:c iloati:g a|out o: a cis|. lc was c:i:|i:g
c|au¡ag:c, o:c glass, two glasscs, t|c: a t|i:c. I|c: t|c ua|cu¡ ¡c:so: cauc a:c touc|cc |iu
u¡, t|c c:cssc: |cl¡cc |iu o: wit| ·|,loc|`s wo:: i:oc| coat, |c i:sc:tcc t|c :olc`s s¡ccial ialsc
tcct| a:c :cac|cc io: |is |owlc: |at.
l coulc :ot |cl¡ t|i:|i:g a|out ou: ,ou:g ·wccis| acto:s cou¡lai:i:g a|out |avi:g to :c|ca:sc
i: t|c ca,tiuc a:c ¡c:io:u at :ig|t. ·: cvc: wo:sc, |avi:g to ¡c:io:u at a uati:cc a:c t|c: agai:
at a: cvc:i:g ¡c:io:ua:cc. W|at |a:c wo:|: low |ac io: t|ci: a:tist:,: low ciiiicult t|c :cxt
ca,: low cisast:ous io: t|ci: iauil, liic:
l |ig||a:cccl, uovcc to t|c ·avo, lotcl a:c swo:c l was ¡:c¡a:cc to ¡a, w|atcvc: it cost.
lo:c ·livic: oiic:cc uc |is ¡iccatc::c at t|c to¡ oi a |ig|:isc i: o:c oi t|c uo:c gc:tccl a:cas oi
t|c cit,. lc assu:cc uc l woulc :ot |c cistu:|cc. lc a:c |is wiic, ¡oa: llow:ig|t, livcc i:
l:ig|to:, a:c |c uig|t s¡c:c t|c occ :ig|t i: lo:co: occasio:all,, |ut wc woulc :ot cu|a::ass
o:c a:ot|c:. l t|a:|cc |iu io: |is t|oug|tiul:css a:c uovcc i:, to |c wclcoucc |, a Dic|c:sia:
c|a:actc: w|o was |is |ousc|cc¡c:. ·|c was l:is|, iou: icct tall a:c uovcc c:a|wisc. l: t|c
cvc:i:gs s|c :cac |c: ¡:a,c:s so loucl,, l ii:st t|oug|t it was a sc:vicc |ci:g |:oaccast t|:oug| a
loucs¡ca|c: i: |c: :oou.
At ii:st sig|t, t|c a¡a:tuc:t was clcga:t, |ut tu::cc out to |c ci:t,, t|c cx¡c:sivc soias g:u||,,
t|c wall¡a¡c: to::, a:c t|c:c wc:c i:tc:csti:g cau¡ io:uatio:s o: t|c ccili:gs. lvc:,t|i:g was
cust, o: stai:cc. I|c |:ca|iast cu¡s wc:c :ot ¡:o¡c:l, was|cc u¡, t|c glasscs |ac li¡ua:|s o:
t|cu, a:c t|c walltowall ca:¡cts wc:c wo:: out, t|c ¡ictu:c wi:cows st:ca|,.
l:acticall, cvc:, uo::i:g, l uct lo:c ·livic: at |:ca|iast. lo: uc, it was i:st:uctivc. lau:c:cc
·livic: |clc scui:a:s ovc: ou: cu¡s oi coiicc a:c lcctu:cc uc o: t|c su||cct oi ·|a|cs¡ca:c. \,
c:t|usiasu |:cw :o |ou:cs. l as|cc qucstio:s, |c a:swc:cc, ta|i:g |is tiuc, occasio:all,
¡|o:i:g to sa, |c coulc :ot attc:c souc uo::i:g uccti:g, t|c: sitti:g cow: a:c |avi:g ,ct
a:ot|c: cu¡ oi coiicc.
I|at si:gula:l, uoculatcc voicc s¡o|c i:ou a liictiuc wit| ·|a|cs¡ca:c, a|out ciscovc:ics,
acvc:sitics, i:sig|ts a:c cx¡c:ic:ccs. ·lowl, |ut wit| |o, l |cga: to u:cc:sta:c l:glis| acto:s`
¡:oiou:c i:tiuac, wit| a:c st:aig|tio:wa:c ¡:actical |a:cli:g oi a io:cc oi :atu:c w|ic| coulc |avc
c:us|cc t|cu o: |ou:c t|cu to slavc:,. I|c, livcc iai:l, i:ccl, wit|i: a t:acitio: tc:cc:
|ca:tcc, a::oga:t, agg:cssivc, |ut i:cc. I|ci: t|cat:c, t|c s|o:t :c|ca:sal tiucs, t|c scvc:c
¡:cssu:c, t|c cou¡ulsio: to :cac| t|ci: aucic:cc, was ci:cct a:c u:uc:ciiul. I|ci: co:tact wit|
t|ci: t:acitio: was uulticiuc:sio:al a:c a:a:c|ic. lau:c:cc ·livic: ca::icc o: t|c t:acitio: |ut
also :c|cllcc. I|a:|s to co:sta:t colla|o:atio: wit| ,ou:gc: a:c olcc: collcagucs, w|o livcc u:cc:
t|c sauc scvc:c |ut c:cativc ci:cuusta:ccs, |is :clatio:s|i¡s wit|i: |is ovc:w|clui:g ¡:oicssio:al
liic wc:c co:sta:tl, c|a:gi:g. lis :a¡¡o:t wit| |is a:t |ccauc iat|oua|lc, ua:agca|lc, a:c ,ct
alwa,s ca:gc:ous, cx|austi:g a:c su:¡:isi:g.
Wc uct scvc:al tiucs, |ut t|c: t|at all cauc to a: c:c. lo:c ·livic: |ac |ust iilucc |is
¡:ocuctio: oi 1|.ee :.··e.·. l t|oug|t t|c iilu slo¡¡il, uacc, |acl, ccitcc a:c w:ctc|ccl,
¡|otog:a¡|cc. lt also lac|cc closcu¡s. l t:icc to sa, all t|is as ¡olitcl, as ¡ossi|lc, ¡:aisi:g t|c
qualit, oi t|c ¡c:io:ua:ccs a:c t|c acto:s, cs¡cciall, ¡oa: llow:ig|t, a uatc|lcss \as|a. lt was :o
usc. lau:c:cc ·livic: succc:l, tu::cc vc:, io:ual. ·u: ca:lic: co:cialit, a:c couuo:
¡:oicssio:al i:tc:cst c|a:gcc i:to uutual squa||li:g ovc: ui:o: cctails.
lc cauc to t|c ue11o co/!e. c:css :c|ca:sal |ali a: |ou: latc, uacc :o a¡olog,, |ut ai:cc souc
sa:castic ;ii t:uc, o¡i:io:s o: wca|:csscs i: t|c ¡:ocuctio:.
·: t|c ca, oi t|c ¡:cuic:c, l lcit lo:co:, w|ic| l |ac |atcc wit| cvc:, ii|:c i: u, |oc,. lt was
a lig|t \a, cvc:i:g i: ·toc||olu. l stooc cow: |, t|c :o:t| l:icgc loo|i:g at t|c iis|c:uc: i: t|c
|oats a:c t|ci: g:cc: scoo¡ :cts. A |:ass |a:c was ¡la,i:g i: lu:gst:acga:cc:. l |ac :cvc: scc:
suc| |cautiiul wouc:. I|c ai: was clca: a:c cas, to |:cat|c, t|c c|c::, |lossou i:ag:a:t a:c a:
ast:i:gc:t c|ill :osc i:ou t|c :us|i:g watc:.
Du:i:g t|c 1-o0s, ·|a:lic ·|a¡li: was o: a visit to ·toc||olu to ¡u|licizc |is :ccc:t
auto|iog:a¡|,. lassc lc:gst:ou, |is ¡u|lis|c:, as|cc uc ii l woulc li|c to ucct t|c g:cat ua: at
t|c G:a:c lotcl, a:c i:cccc l woulc. ·:c uo::i:g at tc: o`cloc|, wc |:oc|cc o: t|c coo:, a:c it
was iuucciatcl, o¡c:cc |, ·|a¡li: |iuscli, iu¡ccca|l, c:csscc i: a ca:| wclltailo:cc suit, t|c
lcgio: oi lo:ou:`s littlc |utto: i: |is la¡cl. I|at |oa:sc uultito:cc voicc ¡olitcl, wclcoucc us,
a:c |is wiic, ·o:a, a:c two ,ou:g caug|tc:s, as lovcl, as gazcllcs, cauc out oi a: i::c: :oou.
Wc at o:cc sta:tcc tal|i:g a|out |is |oo|. l as|cc |iu w|c: |c |ac iou:c out io: t|c o:st tiuc
t|at |c causcc laug|tc: t|at ¡co¡lc laug|cc at |iu i: ¡a:ticula:. lc :occcc cagc:l, a:c willi:gl,
tolc uc.
lc |ac |cc: cu¡lo,cc |, lc,sto:c i: a g:ou¡ oi a:tists w|o wc:t u:cc: t|c :auc oi t|c
lc,sto:c lo¡s. I|c, cic |aza:cous :uu|c:s |cio:c a static cauc:a, li|c a va:ict, s|ow o: a stagc.
·:c ca, t|c, wc:c tolc to c|asc a |ugc |ca:ccc villai: w|o was uaccu¡ w|itc. lt was, ,ou uig|t
sa,, a :outi:c assig:uc:t. Aitc: a g:cat ccal oi :u::i:g a:c ialli:g a|out, |, t|c aitc::oo: t|c, |ac
ua:agcc to catc| t|c villai: a:c |c was scatcc o: t|c g:ou:c su::ou:ccc |, ¡oliccuc: |itti:g |iu
o: t|c |cac wit| t|ci: t:u:c|co:s. ·|a¡li: |ac t|c icca oi :ot |a:gi:g :c¡catccl, wit| |is
t:u:c|co: as |c |ac |cc: tolc. l:stcac |c uacc su:c |c was i: a visi|lc ¡lacc i: t|c ci:clc. I|c:c |c
s¡c:t a lo:g tiuc ca:ciull, aiui:g |is t:u:c|co:. lc sta:tcc o: t|c ¡c:ultiuatc |low scvc:al tiucs,
|ut alwa,s sto¡¡cc at t|c last uouc:t. W|c:, g:acuall, a:c aitc: ca:ciul ¡:c¡a:atio:, |c lct t|c
|low iall, |c uisscc a:c icll ovc:. I|c iilu was s|ow: at a :ic|clocco:. lc wc:t to scc t|c :csult.
I|c uovic aucic:cc, scci:g t|c |low uiss its ta:gct, laug|cc io: t|c ii:st tiuc at ·|a:lic
·|a¡li:.
G:cta Ga:|o cauc o: a quic| visit to ·wccc: to co:sult a ·wccis| cocto:. A i:ic:c tclc¡|o:cc
uc to sa, t|c sta: |ac as|cc to visit lilu Iow: latc o:c aitc::oo:. ·|c |ac cccli:cc a :ccc¡tio:
couuittcc a:c as|cc w|ct|c: l woulc ucct |c: a:c s|ow |c: a:ou:c |c: olc stau¡i:g g:ou:c.
¡ust aitc: six, o:c colc ca:l, s¡:i:g ca,, a s|i:, |lac| liuousi:c c:cw u¡ i: t|c stucio ,a:c. \,
assista:t a:c l wclcoucc |c: a:c, aitc: souc co:iusio: a:c :at|c: io:ccc co:vc:satio:, G:cta
Ga:|o a:c l wc:c lcit alo:c i: u, uoccst wo:| :oou. \, assista:t loo|cc aitc: |c: i:ic:c, oiic:i:g
|c: |:a:c, a:c t|c latcst gossi¡.
I|c :oou was c:au¡cc, a ccs|, a c|ai: a:c a saggi:g soia. l sat at u, ccs|, t|c ccs| lau¡
switc|cc o:. G:cta Ga:|o sat o: t|c soia. I|is was ·tillc:`s :oou,` s|c cccla:cc at o:cc, loo|i:g
:ou:c. l cic:`t |:ow w|at to sa,, so :c¡licc t|at Gustai \ola:cc: |ac |ac t|is :oou |cio:c uc.
Ycs, t|is is ·tillc:`s :oou, l |:ow io: su:c.` Wc tal|cc :at|c: vagucl, a|out ·tillc: a:c ·|ost:ou,
a:c s|c tolc uc ·tillc: |ac ci:cctcc |c: i: a loll,wooc iilu, cvc: t|oug| |c |ac al:cac, |cc:
ii:cc. li:cc a:c ill. l |:cw :ot|i:g. lc :cvc: cou¡lai:cc a:c l |ac ¡:o|lcus oi u, ow:.`
·ilc:cc icll.
·uccc:l, s|c too| oii |c: co:ccali:g su:glasscs a:c saic, I|is is w|at l loo| li|c, \: lc:gua:.`
lc: suilc was swiit a:c cazzli:g, tcasi:g.
lt is |a:c to sa, w|ct|c: g:cat u,t|s a:c u::cuitti:gl, uagical |ccausc t|c, a:c u,t|s o:
w|ct|c: t|c uagic is a: illusio:, c:catcc |, us co:suuc:s, |ut at t|at ¡a:ticula: i:sta:t t|c:c was
:o cou|t. l: t|c |alilig|t i: t|at c:au¡cc :oou, |c: |caut, was iu¡c:is|a|lc. li s|c |ac |cc: a:
a:gcl i:ou o:c oi t|c gos¡cls, l woulc |avc saic |c: |caut, iloatcc a|out |c:. lt cxistcc li|c a
vitalit, a:ou:c t|c |ig ¡u:c icatu:cs oi |c: iacc, |c: io:c|cac, t|c i:tc:scctio: oi |c: c,cs, t|c
:o|l,s|a¡cc c|i:, t|c sc:sitivit, oi |c: :ost:ils. ·|c iuucciatcl, :cgistc:cc u, :cactio:, was
cx|ila:atcc a:c sta:tcc tal|i:g a|out |c: wo:| o: ·clua lagc:loi`s c.··o ie.!.-¸· :o¸o.
Wc wc:t u¡ to t|c littlc ·tucio a:c loo|cc i:to t|c wcst co::c:, w|c:c t|c:c was still a cc:t i:
t|c iloo: aitc: t|c ii:c i: l|c|,. ·|c uc:tio:cc :aucs oi assista:ts a:c clcct:icia:s, all |ut o:c :ow
ccac. lo: souc i:cx¡lica|lc :caso:, \au:itz ·tillc: |ac c:ivc: t|c :cuai:i:g o:c out oi t|c stucio.
lc |ac stooc to attc:tio: w|c: |ci:g :c¡:iua:ccc, t|c: |ac tu::cc o: |is |ccl a:c ua:c|cc out.
Aitc: t|at, |c :cvc: agai: sct ioot i:coo:s a:c |ccauc lilu Iow:`s occ|o| ua: a:c ga:cc:c:. li
|c li|cc a ci:ccto:, |c stooc to attc:tio:, s|oulcc:i:g |is :a|c, souctiucs si:gi:g a icw |a:s oi t|c
|i:g`s a:t|cu. A:, ci:ccto: |c cic :ot li|c oitc: iou:c a |ca¡ oi lcavcs o: s:ow i: i:o:t oi |is ca:.
G:cta Ga:|o laug|cc |c: c:,, ¡u:c laug|. ·|c :cucu|c:cc t|at |c |ac icc |c: wit| |oucuacc
gi:gc: |iscuits. ·|c |ac :cvc: ca:cc :ciusc t|cu.
Wc uacc a |ast, tou: :ou:c t|c a:ca. ·|c was wca:i:g a: clcga:t t:ousc:suit, uovi:g
c:c:gcticall,, |c: |oc, vital a:c att:activc. As t|c:c wc:c sli¡¡c:, ¡atc|cs o: t|c stcc¡ :oac, s|c
too| u, a:u. W|c: wc :ctu::cc to u, :oou, s|c was c|cc:iul a:c :claxcc. \, assista:t a:c |is
gucst wc:c :ou¡i:g i: t|c :cxt :oou.
Ali ·|o|c:g wa:tcc us to ua|c a iilu togct|c:. Wc sat tal|i:g i: a ca: out i: D|u:ga:cc: all o:c
suuuc: :ig|t. lc was so ¡c:suasivc, |c was i::csisti|lc. l accc¡tcc, |ut c|a:gcc u, ui:c t|c :cxt
uo::i:g a:c :ciuscc. I|at was awiull, stu¡ic oi uc. Do ,ou also t|i:| t|at was stu¡ic, \:
lc:gua:·`
·|c lca:t ovc: t|c ccs| so t|at t|c lowc: |ali oi |c: iacc was lit |, t|c ccs| lau¡.
I|c: l saw w|at l |ac :ot scc:: lc: uout| was ugl,, a ¡alc slit su::ou:ccc |, t:a:svc:sc
w:i:|lcs. lt was st:a:gc a:c cistu:|i:g. All t|at |caut, a:c i: t|c uicclc oi t|c |caut, a s|:ill
cisco:c. :o ¡lastic su:gco: o: ua|cu¡ ua: coulc co:|u:c awa, t|at uout| a:c w|at it tolc uc.
·|c at o:cc :cac u, t|oug|ts a:c g:cw silc:t, |o:cc. A icw ui:utcs latc: wc saic gooc|,c.
l |avc stucicc |c: i: |c: last iilu, w|c: s|c was t|i:t,six. lc: iacc is |cautiiul |ut tc:sc, |c:
uout| wit|out soit:css, |c: gazc la:gcl, u:co:cc:t:atcc a:c so::owiul ccs¡itc t|c coucc,. lc:
aucic:cc ¡c:|a¡s |ac a: i:|li:g oi w|at |c: ua|cu¡ ui::o: |ac al:cac, tolc |c:.
l: t|c suuuc: oi 1-·!,l ¡:ocuccc \olic:c`s Ð.- joo- io: t|c ·alz|u:g lcstival. I|c ¡la::i:g
|ac go:c o: io: a|out t|:cc ,ca:s, |cgi::i:g cu:i:g t|c |o:c,uoo: ¡c:ioc |ctwcc: uc a:c t|c
kcsicc:z I|cat:c ci:ccto:, t|c Aust:ia: lu:t \ciscl, w|o was to co ·ga:a:cllc. latc: |c |ic|cc uc
out oi t|c t|cat:c, |ut t|c co:t:act wit| ·alz|u:g :cuai:cc valic. l c|osc a:ot|c: ·ga:a:cllc,
lilua: I|atc, w|o |ac |cc: i:ozc: out oi last Gc:ua:,. I|c:c was also a |:illia:t cou¡a:, at u,
cis¡osal, wit| \ic|acl Dcgc: as t|c agci:g Do: ¡ua:.
kc|ca:sals |cga: i: \u:ic|. I|c ¡olis|i:g was cou¡lctcc ovc: iou:tcc: ca,s i: t|c ugl, a:c
c:au¡cc loi I|cat:c i: ·alz|u:g, w|ic| |ac o:c acva:tagc o:l,. t|c ai:co:citio:i:g iu:ctio:cc
cxccllc:tl,. I|at suuuc: was |ot, t|c |ottcst o: :cco:c.
l co :ot |clicvc i: :atio:al c|a:actc:istics, |ut Aust:ia:s co sccu to |c a s¡ccial t:i|c, cc:tai:l,
t|c |i:c w|o t|:ivc o: t|c icstival i: t|c tow: oi ·alz|u:g. I|ci: |i:c:css |:cw :o |ou:cs, t|c
lac| oi ciiicic:c,, t|c ovc:o:ga:izatio:, t|c uc:cacit,, t|c |u:cauc:ac, a:c t|c suoot| i:colc:cc
wc:c ua:|cc.
I|c acui:ist:atio: soo: ciscovc:cc t|at wit| u, ¡:ocuctio: oi Ð.- joo- t|c, |ac acqui:cc a
|ull i: a c|i:a s|o¡. I|c suilcs g:cw colcc:, |ut iailcc to ¡:ovicc a:, :clici i:ou t|c :agi:g |cat.
l was i:vitcc to visit lc:|c:t vo: la:ata:, w|o was ¡:c¡a:i:g a :c¡cat ¡:ocuctio: oi
r.·e-|o·o!.e., |is ¡:ouccst c:catio:, i: t|c G:cat lcstival lall.
lis ca: ictc|cc uc a:c too| uc to t|c ¡:ivatc oiiicc ccc¡ i:sicc t|c |ugc |uilci:g. lc a::ivcc a
icw ui:utcs latc, a suall slc:cc: ua: wit| a la:gc |cac. As |c |ac u:cc:go:c a sc:ious o¡c:atio:
o: |is |ac| six uo:t|s ¡:cviousl, a:c c:aggcc o:c lcg, a: assista:t was su¡¡o:ti:g |iu. Wc sat
cow: i: a couio:ta|lc i::c: :oou i: cxquisitc g:c, to:cs, ag:cca|l, iu¡c:so:al, cool a:c clcga:t.
Assista:ts, scc:cta:ics a:c |cl¡c:s wit|c:cw. I|c :c|ca:sal oi r.·e-|o·o!.e. wit| o:c|cst:a a:c
soloists was cuc to sta:t i: |ali a: |ou:.
I|c \acst:o cauc st:aig|t to t|c ¡oi:t. lc wa:tcc to co 1o.o-1.· as a: o¡c:a iilu io: tclcvisio:
wit| uc as ci:ccto:. lc sta:cc at uc wit| |is ¡alc colc c,cs. ;l usuall, t|i:| 1o.o-1.· a:
u:¡lcasa:t, cuu|c:souc, ¡c:vc:tcc ucss, a c|ilc oi its tiuc., l was totall, a|so:|cc |, t|is littlc
ua:`s |,¡:oticall, ¡alc gazc a:c |ca:c u,scli sa,i:g t|is was a g:cat |o:ou:, t|at l |ac alwa,s |cc:
iasci:atcc |, 1o.o-1.·, t|at t|c uusic was ¡uzzli:g |ut ovc:¡owc:i:g a:c l coulc t|i:| oi :ot|i:g
uo:c stiuulati:g t|a: to |c allowcc to colla|o:atc wit| lc:|c:t vo: la:a|a:.
I|c ¡:ocuctio: was iixcc io: t|c s¡:i:g oi 1-·-. la:a|a: :aucc a :uu|c: oi sta:s i: t|c wo:lc
oi o¡c:a a:c suggcstcc a ccsig:c: a:c stucio. I|c iilu woulc |c |ascc o: a :cco:ci:g |c was
aiui:g to ua|c i: t|c autuu: oi 1-·¯.
lvc:,t|i:g succc:l, |ccauc u::cal, t|c ¡:ocuctio: oi 1o.o-1.· t|c o:l, :cal t|i:g. l |:cw t|c
ua: i: i:o:t oi uc was scvc:t,iivc, l tc: ,ca:s ,ou:gc:. l: 1-·- a: cig|t,o:c ,ca:olc co:cucto:
a:c a scvc:t,o:c ,ca:olc ci:ccto: woulc togct|c: |:cat|c liic i:to t|is uuuuiiicc occit,: I|c
g:otcsquc:css oi t|c ¡:o|cct :cvc: occu::cc to uc. l was |cl¡lcssl, iasci:atcc.
Wit| t|c ¡:cliui:a:, ¡la::i:g ovc:, t|c \acst:o sta:tcc tal|i:g a|out ·t:auss a:c r.·e-|o·o!.e..
lc |ac co:cuctcc it io: t|c ii:st tiuc as a twc:t, ,ca:olc. lc |ac livcc wit| it all |is liic a:c
iou:c it co:sta:tl, :cw a:c c|allc:gi:g. lc succc:l, sto¡¡cc. l saw ,ou: ¡:ocuctio: oi + Ð.eo¬
t!o,. You ci:cct as ii ,ou wc:c a uusicia:. You`vc a iccli:g io: :|,t|u, t|c uusicalit,, ¡itc|. I|at
was i: ,ou: Mo¸.. t!o·e too. l: ¡a:ts it was c|a:ui:g, |ut l cic:`t li|c it. You`c switc|cc souc
scc:cs at t|c c:c. You ca:`t co t|at wit| \oza:t. lvc:,t|i:g is o:ga:ic.`
A: assista:t |ac al:cac, ¡cc:cc :ou:c t|c coo: to sa, it was tiuc io: t|c :c|ca:sal. la:a|a:
wavcc |iu awa,. I|c, ca: wait.
Aitc: a w|ilc |c got u¡ wit| souc ciiiicult, a:c :cac|cc io: |is stic|. A: assista:t uatc:ializcc
a:c guiccc us alo:g sto:c co::ico:s to t|c lcstival I|cat:c, a tc::ii,i:g ¡lacc wit| scati:g io:
t|ousa:cs. As wc slowl, uovcc io:wa:c, wc wc:c t:a:sio:ucc i:to a: iu¡c:ial ¡:occssio: oi
assista:ts, |cl¡c:s, o¡c:a si:gc:s oi all scxcs, o|scquious c:itics, |owi:g |ou::alists a:c a s|attc:cc
caug|tc:.
I|c soloists wc:c :cac, o: t|c stagc, su::ou:ccc |, a g|astl, sct i:ou t|c 1-.0s. l |avc |ac
t|c o:igi:al ccsig:s co¡icc i: cctail. I|c stagc ccsig:c:s oi t|c ca, a:c cit|c: i:sa:c o: iciots, o:
|ot|.` I|c Vic::a l|il|a:uo:ic was waiti:g i: t|c o:c|cst:a ¡it a:c i: t|c aucito:iuu wc:c
|u:c:ccs oi oiiicials a:c i:ccii:a|lc citizc:s oi t|is cu¡i:c.
W|c: t|c slc:cc: iigu:c wit| |is c:aggi:g lcg a¡¡ca:cc, cvc:,o:c stooc u¡ a:c :cuai:cc
sta:ci:g u:til t|c \acst:o was liitcc ovc: t|c o:c|cst:a :ail a:c i: ¡lacc o: t|c :ost:uu. I|c wo:|
sta:tcc iuucciatcl,. Wc wc:c c:ow:cc i: a wavc oi ccvastati:g, :c¡cllc:t |caut,.

!1
\, scliiu¡oscc cxilc sta:tcc i: la:is i: 1-¯o. l, c|a:cc, aitc: souc :ovi:g a:ou:c, l c:ccc u¡
i: \u:ic|. l, c|a:cc agai:, l wc:t to t|c kcsicc:z I|cat:c, w|ic| i: lava:ia is t|c cquivalc:t oi
·toc||olu`s ko,al D:auatic I|cat:c, wit| its t|:cc stagcs, a|out t|c sauc :uu|c: oi staii, t|c
sauc statc g:a:t, t|c sauc :uu|c: oi ¡:ocuctio:s. l ¡ut o: clcvc: ¡:ocuctio:s t|c:c, gai:cc a
:uu|c: oi cx¡c:ic:ccs a:c couuittcc a :at|c: la:gc: :uu|c: oi iollics.
I|c actual t|cat:c |uilci:g is squcczcc |ctwcc: t|c ·¡c:a lousc a:c t|c kcsicc:z, iaci:g o: to
\ax¡osc¡| llatz, a:c :cscu|lcs w|at t|c lava:ia:s call a ·c|:a¡slccc`, w|ic| it is too. I|c
|uilci:g was ¡ut togct|c: iai:l, soo: aitc: t|c wa: a:c i: co:t:ast to t|c |a:csouc ·¡c:a lousc is
t|c uglicst iuagi:a|lc |ot| i:sicc a:c out.
I|c aucito:iuu scats ovc: a t|ousa:c a:c :cscu|lcs a ci:cua i:ou t|c ca,s oi t|c :azis. I|c
iloo: oi t|c aucito:iuu is lcvcl a:c visi|ilit, w:ctc|cc, t|c scats :a::ow, closc togct|c: a:c
|cllis|l, u:couio:ta|lc. li ,ou a:c suall, t|c scati:g is slig|tl, |cttc:, |ut t|c: ,ou: vicw is
o|scu:cc. li ,ou a:c as tall as t|c avc:agc ·wccc, ,ou scc |cttc:, |ut sit i: a visc. I|c :clatio:s|i¡
|ctwcc: stagc a:c aucito:iuu is :o:cxistc:t. I|c stagc :cvc: |cgi:s a:c t|c aucito:iuu :cvc:
coucs to a: c:c, o: viccvc:sa. I|c colou:s a:c :atg:c, a:c ci:t, |:ic|:cc, wit| g:a:ciloquc:t
golc o::auc:tatio: o: t|c |a::ic:s |ctwcc: scctio:s. A |o::i|lc :co: c|a:cclic: wi:|s i: t|c
ccili:g a:c t|c :co: walllau¡s givc out a louc |uzzi:g sou:c. I|c t|cat:c uac|i:c:, is wo:: out
a:c switc|cc oii |ccausc t|c aut|o:itics |avc cccla:cc it |ig|l, ca:gc:ous. Acui:ist:atio: oiiiccs
a:c c:cssi:g :oous a:c c:au¡cc a:c i:|uua:, a:c t|c ocou: oi Gc:ua: clca:si:g uatc:ial
associatcc wit| cclousi:g o: a |a::ac| li|c |:ot|cl |ovc:s ovc: cvc:,t|i:g.
Wcst Gc:ua:, |as a g:cat ua:, uu:ici¡al t|cat:cs, souc oi w|ic| att:act t|c |cst, ¡a:tl,
|ccausc t|c, ¡a, wcll a:c ¡a:tl, |ccausc t|c:c is :o :is| oi si:|i:g i:to o|livio:. I|cat:c ci:ccto:s
a:c c:itics a:c uo|ilc a:c couc i:ou all co::c:s to ii:c out w|at ,ou a:c u¡ to. ·ou¡a:cc wit|
ot|c: cou:t:ics, t|c a:ts ¡agcs i: t|c ua|o: ¡a¡c:s a:c cxt:cucl, i:tc:cstcc a:c clca:l, co:sicc:
t|cat:c s|oulc :ot |c i:cluccc i: scctio:s io: vicco a:c ¡o¡. la:cl, a ca, gocs |, wit|out a iull
:c¡o:t o: souc t|cat:ical cvc:t o: a co:t:i|utio: to t|c ¡c:¡ctuall, :agi:g cc|atc o: t|cat:c.
I|c:c a:c |a:cl, a:, ¡c:ua:c:t ¡:ocucc:s o: stagc ccsig:c:s, w|ic| |as g:cat acva:tagcs. I|c
acto:s |avc a::ual co:t:acts a:c ca: |c a:|it:a:il, cisuisscc. ·:l, t|osc w|o |avc |cc: cu¡lo,cc
io: uo:c t|a: iiitcc: ,ca:s ca::ot |c givc: t|c sac|. ·o i:sccu:it, is total, w|ic| |as acva:tagcs as
wcll as cisacva:tagcs. I|c acva:tagcs a:c o|vious a:c :ccc :o couuc:t. I|c cisacva:tagcs a:c
i:t:igucs, t|c a|usc oi ¡owc:, agg:cssio:, o|scquious:css, ica: a:c :ootlcss:css. A t|cat:c ci:ccto:
uovcs a:c ta|cs wit| |iu twc:t, o: t|i:t, acto:s i:ou |is ¡:cvious t|cat:c a:c ¡uts twc:t, o:
t|i:t, out o: to t|c st:cct. I|is s,stcu is accc¡tcc cvc: |, t|c u:io:s a:c is :cvc: qucstio:cc.
I|c ¡acc oi wo:| is i:tc:sc. At lcast cig|t ¡la,s a:c ¡:ocuccc o: t|c lig ·tagc, iou: o: t|c
A::cxc ·tagc a:c a va:ia|lc :uu|c: o: t|c lx¡c:iuc:tal ·tagc. lc:io:ua:ccs a:c givc: cvc:, ca,,
:o wcc| oii, :c|ca:sals six ca,s a wcc| a:c also i: t|c cvc:i:gs. I|c :c¡c:toi:c is ac|c:cc to,
¡:og:auucs c|a:gi:g i:ou ca, to ca,, t|i:t, o: so ¡:ocuctio:s |c¡t goi:g io: scvc:al ,ca:s. A
|ig|l, ¡:aiscc ¡:ocuctio: ua, |c ovc: tc: ,ca:s olc.
l:oicssio:alisu is valucc |ig|l,, as a:c |:owlccgc, s|ill a:c t|c a|ilit, to tolc:atc acvc:sitics,
¡c:sccutio: a:c i:sccu:it, wit|out cou¡lai:t.
·o t|c wo:| is |a:c, :c|ca:sal tiucs :a:cl, uo:c t|a: cig|t to tc: wcc|s. I|c ¡:ivatc t|c:a¡,
io: ¡:ocucc:s a:c acto:s ¡:actiscc i: cou:t:ics wit| a gc:tlc: t|cat:ical cliuatc a:c a uo:c
c:t|usiastic attitucc to auatcu:isu |as :o ii:a:cial |asis. ·o all activit, is iic:ccl, ci:cctcc at
:csults, w|ilc at t|c sauc tiuc :o t|cat:c is so a:a:c|ic a:c qucstio:i:g as Gc:ua: t|cat:c, cxcc¡t
¡ossi|l, t|at oi lola:c.
W|c: l wc:t to \u:ic|, l t|oug|t l was quitc gooc at t|c Gc:ua: la:guagc. l was to ciscovc:
ot|c:wisc.
I|c ii:st tiuc l was co:i:o:tcc wit| t|c ¡:o|lcu was at t|c ii:st |oi:t :caci:g oi ·t:i:c|c:g`s +
Ð.eo¬ t!o,. lo:t,iou: s¡lc:cic acto:s a:c act:csscs sat loo|i:g at uc cx¡ccta:tl,, :ot to sa,
|c:cvolc:tl,. l was a iiasco, stauuc:i:g, u:a|lc to ii:c t|c :ig|t wo:cs, uuccli:g a:ticlcs a:c
s,:tax, ilus|i:g, swcati:g a:c t|i:|i:g t|at ii l su:vivcc t|is l coulc su:vivc a:,t|i:g. lt is:`t cas,
to |c a |uua: |ci:g` i: Gc:ua: is

i· .·· :./o1e o¬ 1.e Me-·.|e-. I|at is :ow|c:c :ca: ·t:i:c|c:g`s
uilcl, co:ciliato:, c:,.
I|c ii:st ,ca:s wc:c |a:c. l iclt li|c a: i:valic :o||cc oi a:us a:c lcgs, a:c l :calizcc t|at t|c
:ig|t wo:c at t|at ilccti:g cxact uouc:t |ac |cc: u, su:cst i:st:uuc:t as a: i:st:ucto: oi acto:s,
t|c wo:c t|at cocs :ot |:ca| t|c :|,t|u oi t|c wo:|, :o: cistu:| t|c acto:`s co:cc:t:atio: o: u,
ow: listc:i:g, t|c swiit, ciicctivc wo:c t|at is |o:: i:tuitivcl, a:c is cxactl, :ig|t. Wit| a:gc:,
so::ow a:c iu¡atic:cc, l was uacc to :calizc t|at t|is wo:c was :ot to |c |o:: out oi u, slo¡¡,
co:vc:satio:al Gc:ua:.
Aitc: a icw ,ca:s, l lca::t to ua|c co:tact wit| acto:s w|o u:cc:stooc i:tuitivcl, w|at l |ac to
sa,. Wc g:acuall, succccccc i: sctti:g u¡ a sig:alli:g s,stcu w|ic| was cvc:tuall, iai:l,
satisiacto:,. I|c iact t|at ccs¡itc t|is |a:cica¡ oi ui:c l cic souc oi u, |cst ¡:ocuctio:s i:
\u:ic| is cuc uo:c to t|c sc:sitivit, oi t|c Gc:ua: acto:s, t|ci: quic| g:as¡ a:c t|ci: ¡atic:cc,
t|a: to t|c gi||c:is| l u,scli accou¡lis|cc. At u, agc lca::i:g a:ot|c: la:guagc ¡:o¡c:l, was out
oi t|c qucstio:. l got |, wit| w|at littlc l :cucu|c:cc a:c wit| :a:cou succcss.
I|c:c is souct|i:g s¡lc:cic a|out t|c t|cat:c aucic:ccs oi \u:ic|. I|c, a:c iait|iull, i:itiatcc
a:c cut t|:oug| all social la,c:s. I|c, ca: |c cxt:cucl, c:itical a:c li|c givi:g vc:t to t|ci:
cissatisiactio: |, w|istli:g a:c |ooi:g. W|at is i:tc:csti:g a|out t|csc aucic:ccs is t|at t|c, go to
t|c t|cat:c :cga:clcss oi w|ct|c: a ¡c:io:ua:cc |as |cc: slatcc o: ¡:aiscc s|,|ig|. l co :ot uca:
to sa, t|c, co :ot |clicvc t|c c:itics i: t|c cail, ¡a¡c:s t|c, cc:tai:l, :cac t|cu |ut t|c,
:ctai: t|c :ig|t to cccicc io: t|cusclvcs w|ct|c: t|c, li|c a ¡c:io:ua:cc o: :ot.
Avc:agc attc:ca:cc is a|out -0 ¡c: cc:t a:c a¡¡lausc g:cat ii aucic:ccs co:sicc: t|c, |avc |ac a
gooc cvc:i:g. ·lowl,, aluost :clucta:tl,, t|c, lcavc t|c t|cat:c, sta:ci:g a|out i: g:ou¡s
ciscussi:g t|ci: iu¡:cssio:s oi t|c cvc:i:g. G:acuall, t|c |cc: |alls i: \axiuilia:st:assc iill u¡, as
co t|c littlc caics cow: t|c sicc st:ccts. I|c cvc:i:g is |uuic a:c wa:u, t|u:cc: t|:catc:i:g
soucw|c:c ovc: t|c uou:tai:s, t|c t:aiiic :oa:i:g. l sta:c t|c:c, u:cas, a:c cxcitcc, |:cat|i:g i:
coo|i:g suclls, ca: iuucs a:c t|c |cav, scc:ts i:ou t|c ciu ¡a:|s, listc:i:g to t|ousa:cs oi
iootstc¡s a:c t|c alic: la:guagc a:c t|i:|i:g. l au u:cou|tccl, a|:oac.
l succc:l, iccl |oucsic| io: u, ow: aucic:cc w|ic| a¡¡laucs so |i:cl, io: iou: cu:tai: calls,
t|c: lcavcs t|c t|cat:c as ii ii:c |as |:o|c: out. W|c: l go cow: to :,|:o¡la:, t|c s:ow is
swi:li:g :ou:c t|c silc:t soot, ua:|lc ¡alacc. I|c wi:c coucs i:ou t|c tu:c:as |c,o:c t|c sca a:c
souc :aggcc ¡u:|s a:c |awli:g out t|ci: lo:cli:css i: t|c w|itc ccsolatio:.
\, ca:l, :ccc¡tio: i: \u:ic| was uag:iiicc:t. l was :cccivcc wit| o¡c: a:us. lc:gua: ilccs
i:ou t|at socialist |cll i: t|c :o:t| a:c ii:cs :ciugc i: lava:ia`s ccuoc:atic socict,, lovi:gl, |uggcc
i: t|c |ugc |ca: li|c cu|:acc oi l:a:z¡osci ·t:auss.
At a ¡:ivatc ¡a:t, i: u, |o:ou:, l was ¡|otog:a¡|cc wit| t|c G:cat ·:c. lc uscc it i: |is
su|scquc:t clcctio: cau¡aig:, Wclcoui:g ¡a:tics succccccc o:c a:ot|c:. 1|e Mo¸.. t!o·e |c¡t
att:acti:g c:t|usiastic aucic:ccs i: t|c la:gcst uovic t|cat:c i: t|c cit,. :.e-e· ¡..¬ o Mo...o¸e was
s|ow: o: tclcvisio: wit| iollowu¡s a:c ciscussio:s. lot| t|c |os¡italit, a:c t|c cu:iosit, wc:c
ccvastati:g. l t:icc to ucct all t|is goocwill |aliwa, a:c uacc ciio:ts to |c cou:tcous to cvc:,o:c,
:calizi:g too latc t|at lava:ia is a ¡oliticizcc couuu:it, t|:oug| a:c t|:oug|, wit| i:su:uou:ta|lc
|a::ic:s |ctwcc: ¡a:tics a:c iactio:s.
l: a vc:, s|o:t tiuc l ua:agcc to ua|c a iool oi u,scli.
l |lu:cc:cc i:to t|c kcsicc:z I|cat:c, |:i:gi:g wit| uc ¡:i:ci¡lcs a:c iccas cvolvcc ovc: a
lo:g ¡:oicssio:al liic i: a iai:l, s|cltc:cc co::c: o: t|c outs|i:ts oi t|c wo:lc. l uacc t|c stu¡ic
c::o: oi t:,i:g out ·wccis| uoccls i: Gc:ua: ci:cuusta:ccs. I|us l s¡c:t a g:cat ccal oi tiuc a:c
c:c:g, o: t:,i:g to ua|c t|c cccisio:ua|i:g ¡:occsscs i: t|c t|cat:c uo:c ccuoc:atic.
I|at was stu¡ic oi uc.
l io:ccc t|:oug| uccti:gs oi t|c cou¡a:, a:c ua:agcc to gct goi:g a :c¡:csc:tativc |oc, oi
acto:s, co:sisti:g oi iivc ucu|c:s w|o wc:c givc: a: acviso:, iu:ctio:. I|is ¡la: quitc litc:all,
icll a¡a:t. l: t|is co:tcxt, it s|oulc |c saic t|at lava:ia`s :atio:al I|cat:c |as :o |oa:c, |ut is
acui:istc:cc ci:cctl, i:ou t|c \i:ist:, oi A:ts a:c is t|c :cs¡o:si|ilit, oi souc ¡ou¡ous o:ga:
¡la,c: w|o is uo:c i:acccssi|lc t|a: t|c lu¡c:o: oi ·|i:a.
W|c:, aitc: uuc| ago:izi:g |, t|c cou¡a:,, u, acviso:, cou:cil |ac at last |cc: io:ucc a:c
sta:tcc wo:|i:g, l :calizcc w|at a uo:stc: l |ac |cl¡cc to c:catc. lat:cc t|at |ac accuuulatcc a:c
icstc:cc io: ,ca:s :ow cauc to lig|t, a:c o|scquious:css a:c ica: :cac|cc |it|c:to u:iuagi:cc
|cig|ts. lostilitics |ctwcc: ciiic:c:t iactio:s ila:cc u¡. l:t:igucs a:c cata:cuousc gaucs o: a
scalc :o o:c i: ·wccc: woulc |avc |clicvcc ¡ossi|lc :ot cvc: i: c|u:c| ci:clcs |ccauc t|c
cail, ia:c.
·u: t|cat:c ci:ccto: was i: |is scvc:tics a:c cauc i:ou Vic::a. lc was a |:illia:t acto:, w|o
was u:io:tu:atcl, ua::icc to a |cautiiul |ut co:sicc:a|l, lcss |:illia:t act:css. Io cou¡c:satc io:
t|is, s|c was ucgaloua:iac, acti:guac a:c a: i:t:iguc:. ·u: ci:ccto: a:c |is ·l,tcu:cst:a :ulcc
su¡:cuc, |avi:g togct|c: ioug|t t|ci: wa, t|:oug| t|c |uuiliatio: a:c g:a:ccu: oi Gc:ua:
t|cat:c.
I|is ci:ccto: livcc u:cc: t|c illusio: t|at |c :a: t|c t|cat:c wit| ¡atc::al wiscou, |ut t|c
:cwl, io:ucc acto:s` cou:cil a|:u¡tl, cisillusio:cc |iu. lo: o|vious :caso:s, |c :cga:ccc uc as
t|c ccst:o,c: oi a lovi:g :clatio:s|i¡ |ctwcc: iat|c: a:c c|ilc. l was |is |ittc:cst c:cu,. l: t|is |c
was c:c:gcticall, su¡¡o:tcc |, |is wiic, w|o was ¡la,i:g ·lga i: u, ¡:ocuctio: oi 1|.ee :.··e.·. l
|ac |cc: i::itatcc |, |c: wa, oi s¡ca|i:g cow: i: |c: t|:oat, w|ic| s|c ¡:csuua|l, t|oug|t scx,. l
solcu:l, acviscc |c: to ta|c clocutio: lcsso:s a:c s|c :cvc: io:gavc uc.
I|us |cga: t|c st:ugglc |ctwcc: u, su¡c:io: a:c u,scli. ·u: uocc oi co:ilict was c:ucc, ou:
wca¡o:s |lu:t. I|c co:ilict was uacc all t|c uo:c t:agic |, t|c iact t|at wc |ac ¡:cviousl, li|cc
a:c acui:cc cac| ot|c:.
I|c :csult oi all t|is was t|at t|c t|cat:c was ¡ut u:cc: a uca:i:glcss a:c g:cat st:ai:. l: u,
cagc::css to co cvc:,t|i:g io: t|c |cst, l |ac io:gottc: o:c iu:cauc:tal t|i:g t|csc acto:s |ac
:o sccu:it, w|atsocvc:. I|ci: cowa:cicc was u:cc:sta:ca|lc. I|ci: cou:agc was i:c:cci|lc.
l: ¡u:c 1-·1, l was sac|cc o: t|c s¡ot.
\, ¡:ocuctio:s wc:c ta|c: out oi t|c :c¡c:toi:c a:c l was |a::cc i:ou t|c t|cat:c. All t|is to
t|c accou¡a:iuc:t oi accusatio:s a:c i:sults t|at wc:c ¡asscc o: to t|c ¡:css a:c t|c A:ts
\i:ist:,. l au :ot sa,i:g l was t:catcc u:iai:l,. li l |ac |cc: t|c ci:ccto:, l woulc ¡:o|a|l, |avc
co:c t|c sauc, |ut soo:c:.
·ix uo:t|s latc: l was |ac|. I|c olc ci:ccto: |ac lcit a:c a :cw o:c |ac a¡¡ca:cc aitc: a ¡:css
a:c ¡olitical cau¡aig: oi t|c iilt|icst |i:c, i:co:cciva|lc i: a socict, uo:c o¡c: t|a: lava:ia. lt
was i:st:uctivc a:c :at|c: cxciti:g io: a:,o:c o: t|c outsicc, |ut tc::i|lc a:c |uuiliati:g io: t|c
victius.
·t|c: iollics. l cccli:cc to |avc a:,t|i:g to co wit| t|c ¡:css i: \u:ic|. l was wcll a:c t:ul,
uacc to cat u, wo:cs. l :ciuscc to couuu:icatc wit| cit|c: ua|o: o: ui:o: c:itics. I|at was
:at|c: stu¡ic oi uc, |ccausc a cc:tai: i:tc:¡la, |ctwcc: victius a:c cxccutio:c:s is a: iu¡o:ta:t
iacto: i: t|is st:ictl, :itualistic lava:ia: gauc oi cxaltatio: a:c ccg:acatio:.
\, i:ic:c l:la:c ¡osc¡|so: |ac o:cc saic t|at o:c s|oulc |c ca:ciul oi gctti:g to |:ow ¡co¡lc
|ccausc t|c: o:c sta:tcc li|i:g t|cu. I|at`s cxactl, w|at |a¡¡c:cc to uc. l |ccauc io:c oi ua:,
oi u, collcagucs a:c it was ¡ai:iul to |:ca| t|c tics. I|csc tics ccla,cc u, cc¡a:tu:c |, at lcast
two ,ca:s.
l |avc :cvc: i: u, liic |ac suc| a |ac ¡:css as l |ac cu:i:g u, :i:c ,ca:s i: \u:ic|.
l:ocuctio:s, iilus, i:tc:vicws a:c ot|c: a¡¡ca:a:ccs wc:c t:catcc wit| sco:: a:c a |o:cc
co:tcu¡t t|at was aluost iasci:ati:g. lut t|c:c wc:c cxcc¡tio:s.
A icw cx¡la:atio:s. u, ii:st ¡:ocuctio:s wc:c cc:tai:l, :ot ¡a:ticula:l, gooc, u:cc:tai: a:c
co:vc:tio:al i: a tccious wa,, w|ic| oi cou:sc c:catcc souc iu:cauc:tal co:iusio:. l also :ciuscc
o: ¡:i:ci¡lc to cx¡lai: t|c t|oug|t ¡:occsscs |c|i:c u, ¡:ocuctio:s, w|ic| gavc :isc to cvc: uo:c
i::itatio:.
l, t|c tiuc l`c iu¡:ovcc a:c was occasio:all, o: :call, gooc io:u, t|c cauagc |ac |cc: co:c.
lco¡lc wc:c icc u¡ wit| t|is i:suiic:a|lc ·ca:ci:avia: w|o t|oug|t suc| a lot oi |iuscli. I|c: t|c
i:vcctivc |cga: to il,, l was |oocc at t|c ¡:cuic:c oi M.·· jo!.e, a :cua:|a|l, stiuulati:g
cx¡c:ic:cc. .A ¡:ocucc: |as to ta|c a |ow alo:gsicc t|c acto:s, at lcast at a ¡:cuic:c. li |c is :ot
t|c:c, a sc|isu a:iscs. At ii:st t|c acto:s :cccivcc t|ci: a¡¡lausc a:c |:avos. l cauc o: stagc a:c a
ccaic:i:g |ooi:g |:o|c out. W|at co ,ou co· :ot|i:g. You sta, t|c:c a:c |ow wit| a s|cc¡is|
suilc. At t|c sauc tiuc l t|oug|t. :ow, lc:gua:, t|is is souct|i:g :cw to ,ou. Aitc: all, it`s
gooc t|at ¡co¡lc ca: |c so iu:ious. A|out :ot|i:g. W|at`s lccu|a to |iu as |c to lccu|a. . . ·`
I|c stagc iloo: is suca:cc wit| uo:stc: s:ot. l|sc:`s ¡oo: G|ost c:ags |is icct t|:oug| t|c
stic|, ucss, io: t|is uo:stc: s:ot, as cac| a:c cvc:,o:c at o:cc :calizcs, :c¡:csc:ts |ou:gcois
cccacc:cc. laulct`s iat|c: ¡us|cs t|c G|ost u:cc: a |os¡ital |cc, :a|cc, oi cou:sc. A ¡la::cc
Me..|o-· .¡ ¡e-..e c:cs o: t|c ¡a:acc g:ou:c oi t|c :ca:|, Dac|au co:cc:t:atio: cau¡. I|c
aucic:cc is ta|c: t|c:c i: |uscs. Aitc: t|c s¡cctaclc, ·|,loc| sta:cs t|c:c alo:c, i: cau¡ u:iio:u,
lit |, ¡owc:iul s¡ots. Wag:c:`s t!,.-¸ Ðo·.|¬o- sta:ts i: a s¡acious liccc:ucic: salo:, a:c t|c s|i¡
c:as|cs i: t|:oug| t|c walls. l:zc:|c:gc:`s :.-|.-¸ .¡ ·|e 1.·o-.. is ¡la,cc wit| a |ugc aqua:iuu i:
t|c uicclc oi t|c stagc, a tc::ii,i:g ca:¡ swiuui:g i:sicc it. As t|c cisastc: co:ti:ucs, t|c acto:s
ccscc:c to t|c ca:¡. At t|c sauc t|cat:c, M.·· jo!.e is ¡la,cc as a t|:cc|ou: silc:tiilu ia:cc, t|c
acto:s i: w|itc ua|cu¡, s|:ic|i:g i:ccssa:tl, a:c gcsticulati:g i:sa:cl,. A:c so o:. A:c so o:. All
t|is was at ii:st soucw|at su:¡:isi:g to uc. I|c: l u:cc:stooc t|at it was a ii:c Gc:ua: t|cat:ical
t:acitio:, toug| a:c vigo:ous. Iotal i:cccou, total qucstio:i:g, s|a:¡c:cc wit| ¡:oicssio:al
ccs¡c:atio:.
lo: a |a:|a:ia: i:ou ·wccc:, w|o |ac a|so:|cc iait|iul:css to t|c lcttc: wit| |is uot|c:`s
uil|, all t|is was tc::i|lc |ut iu:.
I|c aucic:cc :agcc a:c a¡¡lauccc, t|c c:itics :agcc a:c a¡¡lauccc, l u,scli iclt u, |cac goi:g
|ot, t|c g:ou:c :oc|i:g |c:cat| u, icct. W|at is t|is l scc, w|at is t|is l |ca:, is it uc o:·
G:acuall,, l ccciccc l :call, |ac to ta|c a sta:c. lvc:,o:c cocs, a:c t|at`s gooc io: ,ou, cvc: ii
t|c :cxt ca, ,ou ta|c it all |ac| a:c uai:tai: t|c o¡¡ositc. ·o uost oi w|at tuu|lcc ovc: uc o:
t|c Gc:ua: stagc was :ot total i:cccou, |ut total :cu:osis.
W|at co t|c ¡oo: ccvils |avc to t|i:| u¡ to gct aucic:ccs· low co t|c, gct t|c c:itics cvc: to
:aisc t|ci: c,c|:ows· A ,ou:g ¡:ocucc: is givc: t|c co:sicc:a|lc tas| oi ¡utti:g o: 1|e i..|e- jo¸.
lc |as scc: it |iuscli scvc: tiucs i: ciiic:c:t sctti:gs. lc |:ows |is aucic:cc |as scc: twc:t,o:c
vc:sio:s si:cc c|ilc|ooc a:c t|c c:itics |avc ,aw:cc t|ci: wa, t|:oug| it iiit,cig|t tiucs. ·o |c
|as to |c aucacious ii |c is to ua|c a: iu¡:cssio: at all.
I|at is :ot i:cccou.
l: t|c uicclc oi all t|is c|aos |looucc g:cat t|cat:ical cx¡c:ic:ccs, |:illia:t i:tc:¡:ctatio:s, a:c
cccisivc cvc: cx¡losivc |:ca|t|:oug|s·
lco¡lc wc:t to t|c t|cat:c, a:c uoa:cc a|out it o: lovcc it. ·: uoa:cc o-1 lovcc it. I|c ¡:css
iollowcc suit. ·:iscs i: local t|cat:cs wc:c co:sta:tl, cx¡loci:g. I|c:c wc:c sca:cals. ·:itics
gavc ¡c:io:uc:s |cll o: wc:c givc: |cll t|cusclvcs. Io ¡ut it |:icil,, it was a ccvilis| u¡:oa:. A
g:cat ua:, c:iscs, |ut |a:cl, a c:isis.
A |ot wi:c :iscs i: t|c ccsc:ts oi Ai:ica, |lows t|:oug| ltal,, cliu|s ovc: t|c Al¡s a:c givcs oii
its uoistu:c t|c:c, t|c: iloats li|c uoltc: uctal cow: ovc: t|c ¡latcau a:c st:i|cs \u:ic|. l: t|c
uo::i:g it ca: |c slccti:g a:c two ccg:ccs |clow zc:o a:c at uicca, w|c: ,ou couc out oi t|c
ca:|:css oi t|c t|cat:c it ca: |c twc:t, ccg:ccs i: t|c s|acc a:c t|c ai: t:cu|li:g wit| co::osivc
t:a:s¡a:c:t |cat. I|c cista:t Al¡s sccu so closc ,ou ca: aluost touc| t|cu wit| ,ou: |a:c. lco¡lc
a:c a:iuals go a littlc uac, |ut u:io:tu:atcl, :ot i: a vc:, ¡lcasa:t wa,. I:aiiic accicc:ts a:c
uo:c i:cquc:t, uo:c iu¡o:ta:t o¡c:atio:s a:c ca:ccllcc a:c t|c suicicc :atc :iscs, :icc cogs |itc
a:c cats ilas| li|c lig|t:i:g. I|c :c|ca:sals at t|c t|cat:c g:ow uo:c cuotio:all, c|a:gcc t|a:
usual. I|c cit, |ccoucs clcct:ic a:c l slcc¡lcss a:c iu:ious.
I|is wi:c is callcc t.|- a:c is ica:cc wit| souc |ustiiicatio:. I|c cvc:i:g ¡a¡c:s givc it |a::c:
|cacli:cs a:c t|c i:|a|ita:ts oi \u:ic| c:i:| |cc: |:cwcc i:ou w|cat wit| a |uic, slicc oi lcuo:
at t|c |ottou oi t|c glass.
l: a: ai: :aic i: 1-++, t|c i::c: cit,, wit| all its c|u:c|cs, a:cic:t |uilci:gs a:c |a:csouc o¡c:a
|ousc, was :azcc to t|c g:ou:c. luucciatcl, aitc: t|c wa:, it was ccciccc to :c|uilc it all so t|at it
woulc loo| cxactl, t|c sauc as |cio:c t|c :aic. I|c o¡c:a |ousc was lovi:gl, :cc:catcc cow: to
t|c last cctail. I|c:c a:c still !00 scats i:ou w|ic| o:c ca: scc :ot|i:g, o:l, |ca:.
l: t|is :cua:|a|lc |uilci:g, o:c t:cu|li:g w|itc t.|- ca,, la:l lo|u was co:cucti:g a c:css
:c|ca:sal oi t.1e!... l was sitti:g i: t|c i:o:t :ow, ciago:all, |c|i:c t|c co:cucto:`s :ost:uu, a:c
was a|lc to iollow t|c olc uacst:o`s cvc:, uovcuc:t a:c uooc. l iai:tl, :cucu|c: t|at t|c
¡:ocuctio: was |o::i|lc a:c t|c scts |iccousl, t:c:c,, |ut t|at is i::clcva:t. la:l lo|u co:cuctcc
|is ¡au¡c:cc |ut vi:tuosi lava:ia:s wit| ti:, |a:c uovcuc:ts |ow c|o:us a:c soloists coulc
scc |is sig:als wc:c a u,stc:,. lc sat slig|tl, |u:c|cc, :cvc: :aiscc |is a:us, :cvc: got u¡, :cvc:
tu::cc a ¡agc oi t|c sco:c.
I|is ¡locci:g iiasco oi a: o¡c:atic uo:stc: was succc:l, t:a:sio:ucc i:to a clca: s¡:i:gli|c
cx¡c:ic:cc. l :calizcc t|at l |ac |ust |ca:c t.1e!.. io: t|c ii:st tiuc, to ¡ut it siu¡l, t|at l |ac :cvc:
g:as¡cc it |cio:c. A cccisivc iu:cauc:tal cx¡c:ic:cc, a: i:tc::al t:cuo:, cu¡|o:ia, g:atitucc, a
w|olc st:cau oi u:cx¡cctcc :cactio:s.
lvc:,t|i:g loo|cc siu¡lc, t|c :otcs i: ¡lacc, :o :cua:|a|lc t:ic|s, :ot|i:g asto:is|i:g, t|c
tcu¡i :cvc: |ca:c. I|c i:tc:¡:ctatio: was w|at t|c Gc:ua:s wit| lig|t i:o:, call «e.|·.eo ¦iait|iul
to t|c wo:|¡. I|c ui:aclc was :cvc:t|clcss a iact.
\a:, ,ca:s ago l saw a Walt Dis:c, ca:too: a|out a ¡c:gui: w|o lo:gcc io: t|c ·out| ·cas. lc
cvc:tuall, :calizcc |is c:cau a:c c:ccc u¡ i: t|c wa:u |luc watc:s a:ou:c a: isla:c wit| :ustli:g
¡alus. lut t|c:c |c ¡i::cc ¡ictu:cs oi t|c A:ta:ctic o: to a ¡alu t:cc. lc was |oucsic|, a:c |us,
|uilci:g a :cw |oat t|at woulc ta|c |iu |ac|.
l au li|c t|at ¡c:gui:. W|ilc l was wo:|i:g at t|c kcsicc:z I|cat:c, l oitc: t|oug|t a|out t|c
D:auatic I|cat:c a:c lo:gcc to |c |ac| wit| u, ow: la:guagc, i:ic:cs a:c icllows|i¡. :ow l au
|ouc a:c lo:g io: t|c c|allc:gcs, t|c :ows, t|c |looc, |attlcs a:c ccat|cci,i:g acto:s.
At u, agc, t|c iu¡ossi|lc is a s¡u:. l u:cc:sta:c l|sc:`s \astc:luilcc: ·ol:css, w|o sta:ts
cliu|i:g t|c c|u:c| towc: cvc: t|oug| |c suiic:s i:ou vc:tigo. I|c a:al,sts sa, ;so co:sicc:atcl,,
t|at t|c u:gc towa:cs t|c iu¡ossi|lc |as souct|i:g to co wit| :cccci:g ¡otc:c,. W|at clsc coulc
a: a:al,st sa,·
l t|i:| l au c:ivc: |, ot|c: uotivcs. lailu:c ca: |avc a i:cs| a:c ast:i:gc:t tastc, acvc:sit, sti:s
u¡ agg:cssio: a:c s|a|cs liic i:to c:cativit, w|ic| uig|t ot|c:wisc :cuai: co:ua:t. lt`s iu: to
cli:g to t|c :o:t|wcst wall oi \ou:t lvc:cst. lcio:c l au silc:ccc io: |iological :caso:s, l vc:,
uuc| wa:t to |c co:t:acictcc a:c qucstio:cc. :ot |ust |, u,scli. I|at |a¡¡c:s cvc:, ca,. l wa:t
to |c a ¡cst, a t:ou|lcua|c:, a:c |a:c to ¡igco:|olc.
I|c iu¡ossi|lc is all too tcu¡ti:g, io: l |avc :ot|i:g to losc. :cit|c: |avc l a:,t|i:g to gai:
a¡a:t i:ou |c:cvolc:t a¡¡:oval i: a icw :cws¡a¡c:s, a¡¡:oval w|ic| t|c :cacc:s will |avc
io:gottc: i: tc: ui:utcs, l u,scli i: tc: ca,s.
I|c t:ut| i: ou: i:tc:¡:ctatio:s is |ou:c |, tiuc. ·u: t|cat:c ¡:ocuctio:s co i:cccc cisa¡¡ca:
i:to uc:ciiul o|scu:it,. lut i:civicual uouc:ts oi g:cat:css o: uisc:, a:c still illuui:atcc |, a
uilc lig|t. A:c t|c iilus still cxist a:c |ca: wit:css to t|c c:ucl oc|lc:css oi a:tistic t:ut|. A icw
stclcs :isc a|ovc t|c c:us|cc ¡c||lcs.
l: a uouc:t oi a:g:, clca:sig|tcc:css, l :calizc t|at u, t|cat:c |clo:gs to t|c 1-.0s a:c u,
tcac|c:s to t|c 1-!0s. I|at i:sig|t ua|cs uc watc|iul a:c iu¡atic:t. l uust sc¡a:atc i:g:ai:cc
co:cc¡ts a:c iu¡o:ta:t cx¡c:ic:ccs, :out out olc solutio:s wit|out :cccssa:il, :c¡laci:g t|cu wit|
:cw o:cs.
Glouccstc:, |is |loocstai:cc |a:cagc ovc: |is :i¡¡ccout c,cs, ¡cc:cc out a:c saic wit| a slig|t
stuttc: t|at |c was a ca| |a:c at i:icc |c::i:gs. ·ouc oi t|c lovcl, ca:cc:s |ac sat cow: i: a co::c:
a:c wc:c listc:i:g to sati:ical Al|a:,, w|o was wca:i:g a swo:c, |oots a:c a |oggi:gsuit. I|c,
occasio:all, laug|cc, g:atciul |ut :cst:ai:cc, |ccausc t|c atuos¡|c:c i: t|c |ig :oou was slig|tl,
su|cucc, t|oug| :ot at all u:¡lcasa:t.
lcga:, ou: saict,atwo:| ua:, saic t|at t|c ¡latio:u :call, uust |avc a :aili:g. lc |ac ta|c:
oii |is glasscs a:c was tal|i:g cagc:l, to t|c stagc ua:agc:, w|o was ta|i:g :otcs. lo:cst lc:t was
l,i:g ilat o: |is |ac|, t|c |cgi::i:g oi luu|ago o: souc ot|c: cau:cc ¡:o|lcu. lai: ·o:cclia |ac
|u:tcc out a ca:clc a:c was glici:g t|:oug| t|c ca:|:css oi t|c waiti:g :oou o: |c: wa, io: a ¡cc
a:c a ciga:cttc, two i:sistc:t :cccs.
lali a: |ou: wc:t |,. I|c s:owsto:u was i:c:casi:g a:c it was :ow quitc ca:| i: t|c iu:t|cst
co::c:s. I|c co:cucto: a:c ou: uusical ¡c:io:uc:s, |o,s a:c gi:ls wit| gooc voiccs, wc:c sitti:g
i: t|c uicclc oi t|c iloo: i: a ci:clc :ou:c iivc lig|tcc ca:clcs, si:gi:g a uac:igal.
Wc all icll silc:t a:c listc:cc. I|c voiccs wc:c gc:tl, coili:g :ou:c us, t|c sto:u |owli:g, :o
st:cct lig|ti:g cis¡c:si:g t|c u:cc:tai: c,i:g ca,lig|t, w|ic| was cisa¡¡ca:i:g cvc: uo:c :a¡icl,.
I|c so:g wa:cc:cc t|:oug| ou: sc:scs a:c ou: iaccs |ccauc |lu::cc. Iiuc |ac ccascc a:c t|c:c
wc wc:c, ccc¡ i: a wo:lc t|at was alwa,s t|c:c, alwa,s closc. Wc :ccccc o:l, a uac:igal, a
s:owsto:u a:c a |lac|ccout cit,. Wc ¡la,cc wit| tiuc cvc:, ca, i: ou: ¡:oicssio:, cxtc:ci:g,
s|o:tc:i:g, sus¡c:ci:g it. :ow it occu::cc :atu:all, wit|out ou: ccvoti:g a t|oug|t to t|c
¡|c:ouc:o:. Iiuc was i:agilc, a su:iacc co:st:uctio: a:c :ow it |ac totall, va:is|cc.
x.-¸ teo. was a co:ti:c:t. Wc cqui¡¡cc cx¡ccitio:s w|ic| wit| va:,i:g s|ill a:c succcss
ua¡¡cc a icw |cat|s, a :ivc:, a icw s|o:cs, a uou:tai:, a:c io:csts. All t|c cou:t:ics oi t|c wo:lc
cqui¡¡cc cx¡ccitio:s, souctiucs wc cauc ac:oss o:c a:ot|c: o: ou: wa:cc:i:gs a:c csta|lis|cc i:
ccs¡ai: t|at w|at was a: i:la:c la|c ,cstc:ca, |ac tu::cc i:to a uou:tai: toca,. Wc c:cw ou:
ua¡s, couuc:tcc a:c ccsc:i|cc, |ut :ot|i:g iittcc. A: cx¡c:ic:ccc i:tc:¡:ctc: cla:iiicc t|c
iou:t| act. lt |ac to |c li|c t|at. I|c |i:g was c|cc:iul, |is uac:css i:culgc:t. I|c sauc
i:tc:¡:ctc: g:cw g:c, a:c icc|lc i: |is volca:ic out|u:st i: t|c scco:c act. I|c ¡iccc o¡c:cc o: a:
a|su:c :otc. |cst ua|c it all i:to a gauc, iull oi laug|tc: a:c ¡a:t, uooc. I|c |i:g |ac |ac a
sccuctivc |ut ca:gc:ous icca. lc |iuscli laug|cc. lut t|c wa:cc:i:g c:aua· I|c t:a:sio:uatio:·
W|o |ac t|c ¡owc: a:c ¡|,sical c:cu:a:cc to c:catc t|c |:o|c:|ca:tcc:css at t|c uost cista:t
i:o:tic:· At ii:st all was o:cc: a:c wit|i: a scco:c t|c wo:lc |u:tlcc i:to c|aos, a u:ivc:sal
cisastc:.
l |:cw w|at it was a|out a:c |ac cx¡c:ic:ccc t|c c:aua i: t|c s|i: oi u, soul. I|c sca:s |ac
:ot |calcc. low coulc l t:a:slatc u, cx¡c:ic:cc so t|at t|c |i:g ua:agcc to tca: cow: |is
la|o:iousl, io:tiiicc |a::ic: agai:st ciso:cc: a:c ccg:acatio:·
lut ou: ¡c:io:uc:s s|oulc :ot |c wcig|cc cow: |, ¡:oiu:cit,. I|c, |avc to |c swiit,
cxt:ovc:t, cou¡:c|c:si|lc. Wc ·wcccs |ac :o cx¡c:ic:cc, :o ·|a|cs¡ca:ca: t:acitio:, o:l, |ac
sc|ooli:g. ·oulc ccsi:c :c¡lacc tcc|:iquc· ·: woulc wc cic i: t|c uo:ass oi so ua:, wo:cs· Wc
w|o |ac ¡:actiscc o:l, ·t:i:c|c:g`s st:aig|t cialoguc w|ic| sta:cs o: its ow: icct. ·oulc o:ci:a:,
wo:|i:g acto:s a:c act:csscs givc cx¡:cssio: to Glouccstc:`s cou|lc ago:,· lc:t`s ¡|o:c, a:gc:·
lcga:`s ¡:ctc:ccc uac:css· kcga:`s ccuo:ic cvil·
·u: cx¡ccitio: uacc its wa, ac:oss t|c |cat|, t|c |cat sco:c|i:g, a:c wc swcatcc. ·uccc:l,
t|c su: ¡lu:gcc li|c a glowi:g sto:c, t|c ca:|:css g:cw iu¡c:ct:a|lc, a:c wc :calizcc wc wc:c i:
a quagui:c wit| |ottoulcss cc¡t|s. Da,s a:c ca,s. ·|.· was t|c uouc:t oi t:ut|, a iixcc ¡oi:t, o·
!o··, :ow wc woulc |c calul, uct|ocical. l:ou |c:c to t|c:c was two uct:cs a:c scvc:tcc:
cc:tiuct:cs. Wc :otcc it cow:. lcttc: ucasu:c it agai:. :ow it was 1+,000 uct:cs:
Aucic:cc, ¡:ocucc:, acto:, c:itic, cac| a:c cvc:,o:c saw |is x.-¸ teo. ciiic:c:tl, souctiucs
vagucl,, souctiucs a: illusio:, cac| acco:ci:g to i:civicual i:tuitio: a:c iccli:g.
lvc:, attcu¡t at ccsc:i¡tio: was i:uitlcss |ut ca¡tivati:g.
·ouc o:. lct`s ¡la, t|c co:cc¡t gauc togct|c:.
·ouc tu::cc t|ci: :oscs to t|c :o:t|wcst a:c ¡:o¡|csicc towa:cs t|c su:, ot|c:s closcc t|ci:
c,cs a:c, c|i: o: c|cst, uuu|lcc to t|c sout|. W|o coulc couc u¡ wit| t|c vc:, |cst ccsc:i¡tio:
oi lcct|ovc:`s ·t:i:g Qua:tct i: lui:o: ·¡us 1!0, t|i:c uovcuc:t, A:ca:tc co: uoto, ua :o:
t:o¡¡o· lct`s :cac, lct`s listc:: l t|oug|t ·|o· was gooc. I|oug| a littlc tccious. lut gooc:
\ac:ocosuos, i:vc:sio:, cou:tc:¡oi:t, st:uctu:cc, cialcctic, uiuctic· lastc: o: slowc:· lastc: o-1
slowc:· I|oug| :call, a littlc uo:c st:uctu:cc· l was so uovcc l c:icc, :cucu|c:i:g t|at
lcct|ovc:, t|c auazi:g olc ccvil, |ac |cc: ccai. lutti:g uusic i:to wo:cs was :|a¡socic,
ia|ulous, io: t|c oscillatio: oi t|c :otcs aiicctcc cuotio:. lutti:g t|cat:c i:to wo:cs was
co:sicc:cc ¡ossi|lc |ccausc wo:cs wc:c saic to |c su||cct to :caso:. Gooc lo:c:
l|sc: a:c |is lia:s, ·t:i:c|c:g`s ca:t|qua|cs, \olic:c`s :agc, glici:g o: t:cac|c:ous
alcxa:c:i:cs, ·|a|cs¡ca:c`s co:ti:c:ts. llooc, ciiiicult: W|at a|out t|c a|su:cists, t|c t:c:c,, t|c
i:vc:tivc· A:c:`t ·|e, ¡:ccicta|lc, casil, :c¡catcc, tcu¡ti:g a:c iu:, |a:c, littlc |ic|s, iast iooc
io: t|c iu¡atic:t·
:ow l ta|c ,ou |, t|c a:u, u, cca:l, |clovcc i:ic:c, a:c s|a|c ,ou cautiousl,. A:c ,ou
listc:i:g to uc· You`vc :ow saic t|osc wo:cs cvc:, ca, scvc:al tiucs a ca,. You s|oulc |:ow t|at
t|osc wo:cs i: ¡a:ticula: c:tail a: a¡¡cal to ,ou: cx¡c:ic:cc. I|c, |avc |cc: s|a¡cc, la|o:iousl,
o: volu¡tuousl,, at ¡:ocigious s¡ccc o: at s:ail`s ¡acc. :ow l s|a|c ,ou: a:u. ,ou scc, l scc, l
u:cc:sta:c, t|c uouc:t is t:iuu¡|a:t, t|c ca, |as :ot |cc: i: vai:, ou: i::csolutc liic |as at last
|cc: givc: uca:i:g a:c colou:. I|c ila||, w|o:i:g |as |cc: t:a:sio:ucc i:to lovc. Auazi:g:
llooc, ua:vcllous:

21
·ouco:c sa,s l s|oulc w:itc a|out u, i:ic:cs. I|at is u::calistic, u:lcss o:c is vc:, olc a:c
o:c`s i:ic:cs |avc al:cac, lcit t|is ca:t|. ·t|c:wisc o:c c:cs u¡ i: a: i:io:ual |ala:ci:g act
|ctwcc: i:cisc:ctio: a:c |cc¡i:g scc:cts. kclax, ,ou will |c allowcc to :cac w|at l w:itc.
·ouco:c w:otc a cctailcc co:icssio: a:c |is cxuist:css was :atu:all, allowcc to :cac t|c
ua:usc:i¡t. ·|c wc:t to t|c toilct a:c t|:cw u¡, t|c: ccua:ccc t|at |c: :auc s|oulc |c
cliui:atcc. I|c aut|o: ag:ccc to |c: :cqucst, |ut at t|c sauc tiuc too| out all |is ¡ositivc
|ucgcuc:ts a:c :ci:io:ccc t|c :cgativc o:cs.
l:ic:cs|i¡, li|c lovc, is cxt:cucl, clca:sig|tcc. I|c cssc:cc oi i:ic:cs|i¡ i:cluccs o¡c::css, a
¡assio: io: t|c t:ut|. lt is a :clici to scc ,ou: i:ic:c`s iacc o: |ca: |is voicc o: t|c tclc¡|o:c, to tal|
a|out |ust w|at is uost ¡ai:iul a:c u:gc:t, to |ca: t|c i:ic:c |iuscli co:icss w|at |c |as |a:cl,
ca:cc to t|i:|. l:ic:cs|i¡ oitc: |as a touc| oi sc:sualit,. I|c i:ic:c`s s|a¡c, |is iacc, c,cs, li¡s,
voicc, uovcuc:ts a:c to:c oi voicc a:c i:sc:i|cc o: ,ou: ui:c, a scc:ct cocc w|ic| givcs ,ou t|c
·o:iicc:cc to :cvcal ,ou:scli i: t:uc icllows|i¡.
A lovc :clatio:s|i¡ cx¡loccs i:to co:ilicts, t|at is u:avoica|lc. l:ic:cs|i¡ is tastcc uo:c
s¡a:i:gl,, wit|out t|c sauc :ccc io: couuotio: a:c ¡u:gi:gs. ·ccasio:all, sa:c stic|s |ctwcc:
t|c vul:c:a|lc su:iaccs oi co:tact, a:c t|c: so::ow a:c ciiiicultics a:isc. l t|i:|. l ca: ua:agc
¡c:icctl, wcll wit|out t|at iciot: I|c: a littlc tiuc gocs |, a:c t|c u:¡lcasa:t sc:satio: oi uissi:g
|iu ua|cs itscli iclt o: va:ious lcvcls, souctiucs o|viousl,, oitc: cisc:cctl,.
:ow l au ua|i:g co:tact, t|i:gs uust:`t |c li|c t|is. lt is a uattc: oi |cc¡i:g t:ac| oi ou:
ca¡ital. Wc wccc out, clca: a:c :c¡lacc.
I|c :csult is u:cc:tai:. |cttc:, wo:sc, o: as |cio:c. Wc ca::ot |:ow. l:ic:cs|i¡ :cvc: cc¡c:cs
o: ¡:ouiscs o: ¡:otcstatio:, :o: o: tiuc a:c s¡acc. l:ic:cs|i¡ is a|solutcl, u:ccua:ci:g, cxcc¡t
o: o:c ¡oi:t. l:ic:cs|i¡ ccua:cs |o:cst,, t|c o:l, ccua:c, |ut ciiiicult.
A closc i:ic:c cuig:atcc aitc: a liic oi cxt:ovc:t activit,. lc scttlcc o: t|c kivic:a, :c:tcc a
t|:cc:oou a¡a:tuc:t, sat o: t|c |alco:, a:c uacc |, :ugs. lis co:sicc:a|l, ,ou:gc: woua:
i:ic:c co:ti:ucc wo:|i:g |ac| at |ouc, |ut s|c wc:t to visit t|c couio:ta|lc |alco:, io: scvc:al
uo:t|s a ,ca:. I|c i:ic:c icll silc:t, ou: co:vc:satio:s io:gi:g t|ci: wa, t|:oug| a toug|
u:cc:g:owt| oi :csc:vc, a:c it too| tiuc a:c t:ou|lc to |cc¡ couuu:icatio:s o¡c:. lis ucssagcs
|ccauc uo:c a:c uo:c c:,¡tic. W|, t|c |cll |avc ,ou go:c oii to a |alco:, o: t|c \ccitc::a:ca::
You`:c c,i:g slowl, a:c ¡olitcl, wit|out t|c co:¡scs¡ots s|owi:g: Wc co:vc:scc acco:ci:g to
:itual. l |:cw |c |ac souc wo::, o: |is ui:c w|ic| |c was :ot co:iici:g to uc. Ycs, t|a:|s,
cvc:,t|i:g`s ii:c. lt`s s:owi:g o: t|c ¡alu t:ccs |ut t|c uag:olia is i: ilowc:.
l coulc:`t tcll |iu l |:cw a|out |is a:xict,. l cic:`t wa:t to |u:t |iu |, :c¡:oac|i:g |iu io: |is
lac| oi ca:cou:.
lo: t|at uattc:, wc a:c ¡:acticall, co:tcu¡o:a:ics ¡c:|a¡s t|is is w|at t|c |cgi::i:g oi t:uc
agci:g is li|c. \o:c a:c uo:c, wc losc ou: wa, i: o|scu:c |alls a:c wi:ci:g u:swc¡t co::ico:s.
Wc tal| to cac| ot|c: t|:oug| iault, local tclc¡|o:cs a:c stuu|lc |caclo:g ovc: a :csc:vc |a:c to
cctcct.
A: acto: i:ic:c oi ui:c w:otc a ca¡tivati:g ¡iccc oi :acio c:aua, w|ic| l as|cc ii l coulc
¡:ocucc. A icw uo:t|s latc:, l as|cc |iu ii |c woulc li|c to ¡la, t|c G|ost a:c t|c li:st ¡la,c: i:
u, ¡:ocuctio: oi uo¬!e·. Aitc: souc ago:izi:g, |c tu::cc uc cow:. l was iu:ious a:c saic t|at i:
t|at casc l woulc:`t co |is :acio ¡la,. ·|oc|cc wit| gooc :caso:, |c :cto:tcc t|at |c cic :ot scc t|c
co::cctio:, w|ic| to uc was o|vious. Aitc: a gooc ccal oi toi:g a:c i:oi:g, wc so:tcc out ou:
ciiic:c:ccs wit|out u¡sctti:g ou: ¡ositio:s. lowcvc:, ou: i:ic:cs|i¡ was aiicctcc.
A sociall, a:c ¡oliticall, succcssiul i:ic:c oi ui:c suiic:s i:ou a :cu:otic ica: oi cvc:, io:u oi
ci:cct agg:cssivc:css. lc |o|i:gl, :cic:s to |iuscli as a /e··e.«.··e., a |:owall, w|ic| |c also is. l
:at|c: li|c |ci:g lcctu:cc at, as |c tcac|cs uc va:ious t|i:gs. \a:, ,ca:s ago |c lcctu:cc uc :at|c:
a lot o: u, vacillati:g ¡ositio: i: t|c i:tc::atio:al iilu ua:|ct, souct|i:g w|ic| l |:cw uo:c
a|out t|a: a:,o:c clsc. lc lcctu:cc scvc: tiucs a:c o: t|c cig|t| l got iu:ious a:c acviscc |iu i:
:o u:cc:tai: tc:us to s|ut u¡ a:c go to |cll. lt too| scvc:al ,ca:s io: ou: i:ic:cs|i¡ to :ccovc:.
·: t|c w|olc l |avc :o illusio:s a|out u, ow: talc:t io: i:ic:cs|i¡. l au i:cccc iait|iul, |ut
cxt:cucl, sus¡icious. li l t|i:| l au |ci:g |ct:a,cc, l au quic| to |ct:a,. li l iccl cut oii, l cut oii,
a cu|ious a:c vc:, lc:gua: li|c talc:t.
l ii:c wouc: i:ic:cs casic:. ·¡c::css is o|vious ;l li|c to t|i:|,, u:ccua:ci:g:css is total ;l
|o¡c,, lo,alt, i:vul:c:a|lc ;l iuagi:c,. l:tuitio: uovcs wit|out ¡:c|ucicc, cuotio: is
u:cisguiscc, t|c:c is :o ¡:cstigc i:volvcc. ·o:ilicts w|ic| a:isc a:c t:usti:g a:c :ot i:icctious.
Iogct|c: wc |avc ca:ccc cvc:, iuagi:a|lc tu::. suiic:i:g, tc:cc::css, ¡assio:, ioolis|:css,
|ct:a,al, a:gc:, coucc,, tcciuu, lovc, lics, |o,, |calousics, acultc:,, ovc:stc¡¡i:g |ou:ca:ics,
gooc iait|. A:c |c:c a:c cvc: uo:c. tca:s, c:oticisu, uc:c c:oticisu, cisastc:s, t:iuu¡|s,
t:ou|lcs, a|usc, iig|ts, a:xict,, ¡i:i:g, cggs, s¡c:u, |lccci:g, cc¡a:tu:c, ¡a:tics. lc:c a:c cvc:
uo:c |cst to ii:is| |cio:c t|c :ails :u: out iu¡otc:cc, lcc|c:,, tc::o:, t|c ¡:oxiuit, oi ccat|,
ccat| itscli, |lac| :ig|ts, slcc¡lcss :ig|ts, w|itc :ig|ts, uusic, |:ca|iasts, |:casts, li¡s, ¡ictu:cs.
Iu:: towa:cs t|c cauc:a a:c |c|olc a:ot|c: |uu|lc oi iuagcs. s|i:, cog, :ituals, :oast cuc|,
w|alc stca|, |ac o,stc:s, c|cati:g a:c iiccli:g, :a¡cs, ii:c clot|cs, |cwcllc:,, touc|cs, |isscs,
s|oulcc:s, |i¡s, st:a:gc lig|ts, st:ccts, tow:s, :ivals, sccucc:s, |ai:s i: t|c cou|, lo:g lcttc:s,
cx¡la:atio:s, all t|at laug|tc:, agci:g, ac|cs, s¡cctaclcs, |a:cs, |a:cs, |a:cs. :ow t|c a:ia coucs
to a closc. s|acows, gc:tlc:css, l will |cl¡ ,ou, t|c s|o:cli:c, t|c sca. :ow all is quict. \, iat|c:`s
olc golc watc| wit| its c:ac|cc glass tic|s awa, o: its sta:c o: u, ccs|. lt sa,s scvc: ui:utcs to
twclvc.
:o, l wo:`t w:itc a|out u, i:ic:cs. lt`s iu¡ossi|lc. :o: will l w:itc a|out u, wiic, l:g:ic.
·ouc ,ca:s ago l ¡:ocuccc a :ot vc:, succcssiul iilu sc:i¡t callcc t.·e «.·| -. t.·e.·. lt tu::cc
i:to a ¡a:o:aua oi Wcst Gc:ua: liic a:c l t|i:| it was colou:cc |, t|c ¡owc:lcss :agc oi t|c
¡:iso:c:, cc:tai:l, :ot a iai: ¡ictu:c.
·ut oi t|is gia:t, w|ic| cicc a :atu:al ccat|, l ca:vcc a stca| t|at |ccauc a iilu io: tclcvisio:
callcc t..¬ ·|e t.¡e .¡ ·|e Mo...-e··e·. lt was :ot li|cc, |ut |clo:gs auo:g u, |cst iilus, a: o¡i:io:
s|a:cc |, a icw.
l: t|c w:cc|cc sc:cc:¡la, ;wit| a ¡la,i:g tiuc oi a|out six |ou:s,, as a cou:tc:wcig|t to t|c
co:iusio: oi t|c |asic st:uctu:c, t|c:c was a ¡a:a¡|:asc oi ·vic`s talc oi l|ilcuo: a:c laucis. I|c
goc wa:cc:s cisguiscc o: ca:t| wit| t|c i:tc:tio: oi lca::i:g a|out |is c:catio:. ·:c cool s¡:i:g
cvc:i:g |, t|c sca, |c coucs to a ccca,i:g ia:u o: t|c ccgc oi t|c villagc couuu:it,, occu¡icc |,
a: clcc:l, ia:uc: a:c |is wiic. I|c, i:vitc |iu to su¡¡c: a:c a :ig|t`s locgi:g. I|c :cxt uo::i:g
t|c goc co:ti:ucs |is |ou::c, aitc: t|c olc ¡co¡lc |avc |cc: allowcc to ua|c o:c wis|. t|c, co :ot
wa:t ccat| to sc¡a:atc t|cu. I|c goc :cs¡o:cs to t|ci: wis| a:c tu::s t|cu i:to a |ugc t:cc to
s|acc t|c ia:u.
\, wiic a:c l livc :ca: cac| ot|c:. ·:c oi us t|i:|s a:c t|c ot|c: a:swc:s, o: t|c ot|c: wa,
:ou:c. l |avc :o uca:s oi ccsc:i|i:g ou: aiii:it,.
·:c ¡:o|lcu is i:solu|lc. ·:c ca, t|c |low will iall a:c sc¡a:atc us. :o i:ic:cl, goc will tu::
us i:to a t:cc to s|acc t|c ia:u. l |avc a talc:t io: iuagi:i:g uost oi liic`s situatio:s. l ¡lug i: u,
i:tuitio: a:c u, iuagi:atio: a:c a¡¡:o¡:iatc cuotio:s ¡ou: i:, colou:i:g a:c ccc¡c:i:g.
:cvc:t|clcss l lac| t|c uca:s oi iuagi:i:g t|c uouc:t oi sc¡a:atio:. As l au :cit|c: a|lc :o:
willi:g to iuagi:c a:ot|c: liic, souc |i:c oi liic |c,o:c t|c i:o:tic:, t|c ¡c:s¡cctivc is a¡¡alli:g.
l:ou a souc|oc, l will |ccouc a :o|oc,. I|at :o|oc, will :ot cvc: |avc t|c ucuo:, oi a:
aiii:it,.

!+
W|c: lat|c: was o: |olica, i: Va:ous i: t|c uicclc oi ¡ul,, |c was :cstlcss a:c u:cas,, ta|i:g
lo:g wal|s t|:oug| t|c io:csts o: |is ow: a:c slcc¡i:g in outiiclc |uilci:gs a:c |a::s.
·:c ·u:ca,, |c was to ¡:cac| i: Aus|c:g c|a¡cl. I|c uo::i:g was t|u:cc:, a:c o¡¡:cssivc,
t|c su: a:c |o:scilics sti:gi:g, a ca:||luc |a:| oi cloucs a|ovc t|c |ills.
lt |ac |cc: ccciccc lo:g |cio:c t|at l s|oulc accou¡a:, |iu. lat|c: ¡ut uc o: t|c i:o:t ca::ic:
oi t|c |ic,clc a:c t|c iooc ¡ac| a:c a casc co:tai:i:g |is cassoc| o: t|c |ac|. l was |a:ciootcc a:c
wca:i:g |luc st:i¡cc s|o:ts a:c a |lousc oi t|c sauc uatc:ial wit| a tu::cc cow: colla:. l |ac a
|a:cagc :ou:c u, w:ist |ccausc l |ac sc:atc|cc a uosquito |itc a:c it |ac |ccouc i:icctcc. lat|c:
was wca:i:g |lac| t:ousc:s, |ic,clc cli¡s, |lac| laccc |oots, w|itc s|i:t, w|itc |at a:c a t|i:
suuuc: |ac|ct.
l ca: co:ii:u all t|is, |ccausc l |avc :ccc:tl, scc: a ¡|otog:a¡|. Gc:t:uc, a ,ou:g i:ic:c oi t|c
iauil,, ca: |ust |c scc: i: t|c |ac|g:ou:c. ·|c is loo|i:g at lat|c: wit| lovc i: |c: c,cs a:c suili:g
s¡itciull,. Gc:t:uc was u, iavou:itc a:c it woulc |avc |cc: gooc ii s|c |ac couc too, io: s|c
oitc: laug|cc a:c ¡ut lat|c: i: a gooc uooc. I|c, uscc to si:g togct|c:. G:a:cuot|c: ca: |c
scc: i: t|c |ac|g:ou:c o: |c: wa, to t|c ¡:iv,. \, |:ot|c: is ¡:csuua|l, lca:i:g ovc: souc
|atciul |oucwo:| a:c u, sistc: still aslcc¡. l au :ca:l, cig|t. \ot|c: is |olci:g t|c cauc:a. ·|c
c:|o,cc ta|i:g ¡|otog:a¡|s.
·o wc sct oii i: t|c sucll oi :csi: a:c |ot uoss cow: t|c io:cst slo¡c, w|ic| was stcc¡ wit|
¡i:cs a:c a:t|ills o: |ot| siccs, t|c |il|c::, ¡la:ts al:cac, lacc: wit| u::i¡c |c::ics. Wc ¡asscc
t|c ga:cc:c:`s was|i:g |a:gi:g o: t|c li:c. A icw wcc|s ca:lic:, u, |:ot|c: a:c |is i:ic:cs i:ou
t|c \issio: lousc |ac stolc: st:aw|c::ics, squas|cc t|cu a:c c:aw: o|scc:c iigu:cs o: \:s
Io::qvist`s s|ccts. Wc wc:c all |cavil, sus¡cctcc, |ut lct oii io: lac| oi cvicc:cc. lt was t|c: t|c
tu:: oi t|c ga:cc:c:`s so:s, alt|oug| t|c, wc:c i::occ:t.
l cic :ot |:ow w|ct|c: o: :ot l s|oulc tcll, ccs¡itc cvc:,t|i:g, as l |ac gooc :caso: to ta|c
:cvc:gc o: u, |:ot|c:. ·:c ca, |c |ac ca:glcc a iat a:gli:g wo:u i: i:o:t oi u, :osc a:c saic.
l`ll givc ,ou iivc o:c ii ,ou cat t|is wo:u.`

l ua:agcc to gct t|c wo:u cow: a:c, w|c: l |ac
swallowcc t|c last |it, u, |:ot|c: |ac saic. li ,ou`:c so cau:cc stu¡ic as to cat a wo:u, l`u :ot
goi:g to givc ,ou iivc o:c.`
l was too casil, ccccivcc. l also |ac acc:oics, so oitc: |:cat|cc t|:oug| u, uout|, w|ic| uacc
uc loo| stu¡ic.
Ia|c G:a:cuot|c:`s uu|:clla,` u, |:ot|c: |ac saic. lut it u¡. l`ll |cl¡ ,ou. :ow, ii ,ou |uu¡
i:ou t|c u¡stai:s |alco:,, ,ou`ll il,.` l was sto¡¡cc at t|c last ui:utc a:c wc¡t wit| :agc, :ot
|ccausc l |ac |cc: ccccivcc, |ut |ccausc o:c coulc:`t il, wit| G:a:cuot|c:`s uu|:clla.
You`:c a ·u:ca,`s c|ilc, l:gua:, so ,ou ca: scc iai:ics,` ·lc lalla |ac saic. lut ,ou uust:`t
io:gct to |olc two c:osscc twigs i: i:o:t oi ,ou.`
l co:`t |:ow |ow uuc| lalla |clicvcc oi w|at s|c saic, |ut l c:c¡t awa,. l cic:`t scc a:, iai:ics,
|ut l cic scc a littlc g:c, ua: wit| a |:ig|t s¡itciul iacc. lc was |olci:g a gi:l |, t|c |a:c, a:c s|c
was :o |iggc: t|a: u, uicclc ii:gc:. l wa:tcc to ca¡tu:c |c:, |ut t|c g:ouc a:c |is caug|tc: got
awa,.
W|c: wc livcc i: Villagata:, wa:cc:i:g uusicia:s uscc to couc a:c ¡la,, a:c o:c ca, a w|olc
iauil, a::ivcc. lat|c: cauc i:to t|c ci:i:g :oou a:c saic. Wc`vc solc l:gua: to t|c g,¡sics. Wc
got quitc a gooc ¡:icc.` l wailcc wit| tc::o:, t|c: succc:l, cvc:,o:c sta:tcc laug|i:g a:c \ot|c:
too| uc o: |c: |:cc, |clc u, |cac a:c :oc|cc uc gc:tl,. I|c, wc:c all su:¡:iscc l was so
c:cculous. lc`s gulli|lc a:c |as :o sc:sc oi |uuou:.`
Wc |ac :ow :cac|cc t|c |ill |, t|c ¡ost oiiicc a:c l |ac to gct oii t|c |ic,clc a:c wal|. As l
was |a:cioot, l wal|cc alo:g t|c vc:gc w|c:c t|c g:ass was soit a:c t:au¡lcc. Wc saic gooc
uo::i:g to t|c ¡ostuastc:, w|o was o: |is wa, to t|c :ailwa, statio: to loac t|c uail o: to t|c
uo::i:g t:ai: to l:,l|o, |is uail|ag o: a suall ca:t. lassc was sitti:g o: t|c stc¡s. lc was too tall
a:c |is a:us ca:glcc. W|c: wc ¡asscc |c wo||lcc |is |cac a:c |cllowcc. l gua:cccl, saic |cllo
|ac| to |iu. lassc |ac |ust taug|t uc a so:g. I|c ¡:ic| a:c t|c cu:t wc:c to scc w|o`c |c ii:st.
I|c ¡:ic| c:ovc so |a:c t|at t|c cu:t wc:t a:c |u:st. l u:cc:stooc :cit|c: co:tc:t :o: s¡i:it, |ut l
cic :calizc it was :o vc:sc oi a |,u:. Aitc: t|c |ill, l coulc uou:t agai: a:c lat|c: tolc uc to stic|
u, icct out. A ,ca: |cio:c l |ac caug|t u, ioot i: u:clc l::st`s s¡o|cs a:c |ac |:o|c: souc suall
|o:cs. Wc got u¡ s¡ccc a:c wc:c soo: ¡ast lc:glu:c`s |ig ia:u w|c:c wc ictc|cc ou: uil| a:c
¡i:c|cc a¡¡lcs. Doll, |a:|cc |oa:scl, a:c :a: alo:g o: t|c lcac iastc:cc to a wi:c |ctwcc: two
¡i:cs. Aitc: t|c ia:u cauc a g|ost |ousc a:c t|c: t|c \issio: lousc, w|c:c t|c :uuc:ous
l:,||olu c|ilc:c: livcc w|ilc t|ci: ¡a:c:ts wc:c wo:|i:g io: Goc i: t|c Ai:ica: iiclc. A c|cc:iul
a:c lovi:g ·|:istia:it, :cig:cc i: t|c \issio: lousc, wit| :o :ulcs o: coc:cio:. I|c c|ilc:c:
wc:t |a:cioot all ca, a:c cic:`t |avc to was|. \cals wc:c ta|c: sta:ci:g u¡ at t|c ta|lc w|c:cvc:
t|c, wc:c |u:g:,, a:c lc:gt l:,||olu ow:cc a uagic t|cat:c w|ic| |c |ac uacc i:ou
i:st:uctio:s i: +!·e.· to¬.!, j.o.-o!. I|c c|ilc:c:`s sig:atu:c tu:c, |owcvc:, was :cvc: su:g i:sicc
t|c \issio: lousc.
l was |o:: i: Ai:ica
\, ¡a¡a t|c:c was |i:g
Gi:aiic, a¡c a:c c:ococilc
wc:c to,s w|c: l was ,ou:g.
·|oo|accic,aloo:
lat uissio:a:, ua|cs gooc stcw.
Wc wc:c :ow scucci:g alo:g at a gooc s¡ccc cow: t|c lo:g slo¡c to ·ol|ac|a, t|c :oac closc
to t|c :ivc:, t|c su: |u::i:g, t|c w|ccls w|istli:g a:c c:u:c|i:g a:c t|c su:iacc oi t|c watc:
gli:ti:g. I|c |a:| oi cloucs |c,o:c t|c |ills was still t|c:c a:c swclli:g. lat|c: was si:gi:g quictl,
to |iuscli, t|c uo::i:g t:ai: w|istli:g ia: awa,. l t|oug|t oi u, ow: t:ai: wit| a sc:sc oi loss. l
coulc |avc |cc: at |ouc at Va:ous at t|at uouc:t, la,i:g out u, :ailwa, o: t|c littlc ¡at| to t|c
tu:icc cclla:. A t:i¡ wit| u, iat|c: was alwa,s a tic|lis| u:cc:ta|i:g. You :cvc: |:cw |ow it
woulc c:c. ·ouctiucs |c :cuai:cc i: a gooc uooc all ca,, souctiucs t|c ccuo:s caug|t u¡ wit|
|iu a:c |c tu::cc tacitu::, cvasivc a:c i::ita|lc.
·ouc t:a¡s ta|i:g ¡co¡lc to c|u:c| wc:c al:cac, waiti:g at t|c ic::, ¡lacc, as wcll as a vc:, olc
ua: wit| a ci:t, cow a:c a icw |o,s o: t|ci: wa, to D|u¡ta`:: to go swiuui:g a:c iis|i:g io:
¡c:c|.
·tccl wi:cs wc:c st:ctc|cc ac:oss t|c :ivc: a:c t|c ic::, was iastc:cc to t|c ca|lcs wit| i:o:
loo¡s a:c :ust, w|ccls. I|c w|olc t|i:g was o¡c:atcc |, |a:c. I|c uc: g:as¡cc t|c ca|lcs wit|
|cav, g:i¡¡i:g i:st:uuc:ts oi ta::cc wooc, so t|at t|c ilat|ottoucc c:ait was |aulcc |ac| a:c
io:t| ac:oss t|c ca:| ilowi:g c|a::cl oi t|c :ivc:, w|c:c c:iiti:g logs t|uu¡cc agai:st its siccs.
lat|c: at o:cc icll i:to co:vc:satio: wit| t|c wouc: i: o:c oi t|c t:a¡s. l sat cow: o: t|c
|oa:cs u¡ at t|c i:o:t a:c lowc:cc u, icct i:to t|c watc:, ic, colc cvc: i: |ig| suuuc: a:c
ilowi:g |:ow: a:c iic:ccl, :ou:c u, lcgs a:c icct.
lvc: si:cc u, c|ilc|ooc, t|c :ivc: |as cxistcc i: u, c:caus. Alwa,s ca:| a:c swi:li:g li|c t|c
G:aca :ivc: |, t|c :ailwa, |:icgc, t|c logs suclli:g oi |a:| a:c :csi: as t|c, slowl, swi:g :ou:c i:
t|c st:o:g cu::c:t, a:c s|a:¡ sto:cs ¡:ot:uci:g uc:aci:gl, |clow t|c swi:li:g su:iacc oi t|c
watc:. I|c :ivc: c|a::cl cuts ccc¡l, |ctwcc: t|c |a:|s w|c:c t|i: alcc:s a:c |i:c|cs ii:c :oot, t|c
watc: is lit |, t|c su: io: a icw uouc:ts, t|c: cics a:c |ccoucs |lac|c: t|a: cvc:. I|c ccasclcss
uovcuc:t towa:cs t|c cu:vc oi t|c :ivc:, t|c su|cucc uu:uu:.
Wc souctiucs wc:t swiuui:g |, t|c :ivc: |a:|, ta|i:g a ¡at| t|at :a: stcc¡l, cow: t|c slo¡c
|, Va:ous, ac:oss t|c :ailwa, cu|a:|uc:t a:c t|c :oac, t|c: ac:oss lc:glu:c`s ucacow a:c
cow: t|c :ivc: |a:|, w|ic| was iai:l, low o: ou: sicc. A tiu|c: :ait wc coulc civc i:ou was ticc
u¡ t|c:c. l o:cc cauc u¡ u:cc::cat| t|c :ait a:c coulc:`t gct |ac| to t|c su:iacc. l was :ot i: t|c
lcast i:ig|tc:cc, |ut o¡c:cc u, c,cs a:c saw t|c swa,i:g watc: ¡la:ts, u, ow: |u||lcs oi ai:, t|c
su:lig|t lig|ti:g u¡ t|c |:ow: watc:, a:c t|c suall iis| lu:|i:g auo:g t|c sto:cs su:| i:to t|c
uuc. latc: l :cucu|c: l,i:g o: t|c :ait s¡cwi:g u¡ watc: a:c uucus a:c cvc:,o:c tal|i:g at
o:cc.
:ow l was sitti:g o: t|c ccgc oi t|c ic::,, cooli:g t|c |u::i:g solcs oi u, icct a:c t|c
uosquito |itcs :ou:c u, a:|lcs. ·uccc:l, souco:c too| uc |, t|c s|oulcc:s, t|:cw uc
|ac|wa:cs, a:c l :cccivcc a slas|i:g |low o: t|c |cac. lat|c: was iu:ious. You |:ow t|at`s
io:|iccc:. Do:`t ,ou scc ,ou coulc |c ¡ullcc u:cc:·` lc |it uc agai:. l cic:`t c:,, |ut l was iull oi
|at:cc. llooc, |oocluu. Alwa,s |itti:g. l`ll |ill |iu. l wo:`t io:givc |iu. W|c: wc gct |ac|
|ouc, l`ll t|i:| u¡ a ¡ai:iul ccat| io: |iu. lc ca: |cg io: uc:c,. l`ll |ca: |iu sc:cau wit| tc::o:.
I|c logs t|uu¡cc, t|c watc: uu:uu:cc a:c l stooc to o:c sicc, |ut |c¡t i: sig|t. lat|c: was
|cl¡i:g ¡ull t|c ic::,, st:uggli:g wit| t|c |cav, c|u:| oi wooc. l coulc scc |c was a:g:, too.
Wc la:ccc, t|c watc: was|i:g u¡ ovc: t|c ¡la:|s, t|c t:a¡s c:ivi:g as|o:c, t|c |ctt, swa,i:g
a:c lu:c|i:g. lat|c: saic gooc|,c. lc alwa,s iou:c it cas, to tal| to ¡co¡lc. I|c |o,s goi:g iis|i:g
suilcc sco::iull, a:c ¡ic|cc u¡ t|ci: :ocs. I|c olc ua: wit| t|c ci:t, cow t:ottcc u¡ t|c slo¡c.
·ouc o: :ow, ,ou iat|cac,` lat|c: saic i: a i:ic:cl, voicc. l cic:`t uovc, a:c tu::cc u, |cac
awa,, tcu¡tcc to sta:t c:,i:g, :ow t|at lat|c: sou:ccc i:ic:cl,. lc cauc ovc: to uc a:c s|ovcc
uc i: t|c |ac|. You uust |avc scc: l was i:ig|tc:cc. You uig|t |avc c:ow:cc a:c :o o:c woulc
|avc :oticcc.` lc s|ovcc uc agai:. I|c: |c too| |is |ic,clc a:c w|cclcc it ovc: t|c wct ¡la:|s.
I|c ic::,ua: was lctti:g :cw ¡co¡lc o: |oa:c.
lat|c: |clc out |is la:gc |a:c a:c iclt io: ui:c, a:c u, :agc :a: out oi uc i: a scco:c. lc |ac
|cc: i:ig|tc:cc. I|at was u:cc:sta:ca|lc. li ,ou`:c i:ig|tc:cc, ,ou gct a:g:,, l u:cc:stooc t|at.
:ow |c was |ci:g :icc. lc |ac |it uc too |a:c a:c was :cg:ctti:g it.
I|c slo¡c u¡ i:ou t|c ic::, stagc was stcc¡ a:c l |cl¡cc ¡us| t|c |ic,clc. At t|c to¡, t|c |cat
:osc li|c a wall a:c t|c ii:c sa:c swi:lcc u¡ i: littlc w|i:lwi:cs wit| :o cool:css. lat|c:`s |lac|
t:ousc:s a:c |oots wc:c al:cac, cust,.
Wc a::ivcc |ust as t|c, wc:c :i:gi:g io: tc: o`cloc|. I|c c|u:c|,a:c was s|ac,, souc wouc:
i: |lac| wc:c watc:i:g t|c ilowc:s o: t|c g:avcs a:c t|c:c was a sucll oi :cwuow: g:ass a:c ta:.
lt was gc:tl, cool u:cc: t|c sto:c ¡o:c| wa,. I|c c|u:c|wa:cc: w|o |ac |cc: :i:gi:g t|c |cll
iollowcc lat|c: i:to t|c sac:ist,, w|c:c t|c:c was a |asi: a:c a ca: oi watc: i: t|c cu¡|oa:c.
lat|c: too| oii |is s|i:t a:c was|cc, t|c: co::cc a clca: s|i:t, |is cog colla: a:c cassoc|. :cxt |c
sat cow: at t|c ccs| a:c w:otc cow: t|c |,u: :uu|c:s o: a ¡iccc oi ¡a¡c:. l wc:t wit| t|c
c|u:c|wa:cc: to |cl¡ ¡ut u¡ t|c :ig|t :uu|c:s i: t|c c|u:c|. Wc cic:`t s¡ca| w|ilc wc wc:c
ca::,i:g out ou: iu¡o:ta:t tas|, a w:o:g :uu|c: woulc |c catast:o¡|ic.
l |:cw t|at lat|c: |ac to |c lcit alo:c :ow, so l wc:t out i:to t|c c|u:c|,a:c a:c :cac t|c
i:sc:i¡tio:s o: t|c g:avcsto:cs, cs¡cciall, i: t|c c|ilc:c:`s scctio:, t|c couc oi t|c s|, w|itc
a|ovc t|c ca:| ioliagc oi t|c as| t:ccs. I|c |cat la, uotio:lcss. A icw |uu|lc |ccs. A uosquito. A
cow lowi:g. D:ows,. Dozc io: a w|ilc. Aslcc¡.
W|ilc l was ua|i:g ¡:c¡a:atio:s io: P.-·e. t.¸|·. l wc:t a:ou:c loo|i:g at c|u:c|cs i: u¡¡la:c
i: t|c ca:l, s¡:i:g. l usuall, |o::owcc t|c |c, i:ou t|c o:ga:ist a:c sat io: a icw |ou:s i: t|c
c|u:c|, watc|i:g t|c lig|t wa:cc: a:c t|i:|i:g |ow l woulc wo:| out t|c c:c oi u, iilu.
lvc:,t|i:g |ac |cc: w:ittc: cow: a:c ¡la::cc, all cxcc¡t t|c actual c:ci:g.
·:c ·u:ca,, l ¡|o:cc lat|c: ca:l, i: t|c uo::i:g a:c as|cc |iu ii |c woulc li|c to couc wit|
uc o: a: outi:g. \ot|c: was i: |os¡ital aitc: |c: ii:st |ca:t attac| a:c lat|c: |ac isolatcc |iuscli.
lis |a:cs a:c icct |ac g:ow: wo:sc a:c |c :ow wal|cc wit| a stic| a:c wo:c o:t|o¡accic |oots.
Wit| sclicisci¡li:c a:c st:c:gt| oi will, |c co:ti:ucc |is cutics i: t|c ¡a:is| oi t|c :o,al ¡alacc.
lc was scvc:t,iivc.
lt was a uist, ca:l, s¡:i:g ca, wit| st:o:g lig|t a|ovc t|c s:ow. Wc a::ivcc i: gooc tiuc at t|c
littlc c|u:c| :o:t| oi u¡sala to ii:c iou: c|u:c|goc:s a|cac oi us waiti:g i: t|c :a::ow ¡cws. I|c
c|u:c|wa:cc: a:c vc:gc: wc:c w|is¡c:i:g i: t|c ¡o:c| a:c t|c woua: o:ga:ist was :uuuagi:g i:
t|c o:ga: loit. W|c: t|c suuuo:i:g |cll iaccc awa, ovc: t|c ¡lai:, t|c ¡asto: |ac still :ot
a¡¡ca:cc. A lo:g silc:cc c:succ i: |cavc: a:c o: ca:t|. lat|c: s|iitcc u:casil, a:c |c¡t uuttc:i:g.
A icw ui:utcs latc: cauc t|c sou:c oi a :us|i:g ca: o: t|c sli¡¡c:, g:ou:c outsicc, a coo:
slauucc a:c t|c ¡asto: cauc ¡uiii:g cow: t|c aislc.
W|c: |c got to t|c alta: :ail, |c tu::cc :ou:c a:c loo|cc ovc: |is co:g:cgatio: wit| :cc
:iuucc c,cs, a t|i:, lo:g|ai:cc ua:, |is t:iu |ca:c sca:ccl, |ici:g |is :cccci:g c|i:. , lc swu:g
|is a:us li|c a s|ic: a:c coug|cc, |is |ai: cu:l, o: t|c c:ow: oi |is |cac, |is io:c|cac tu::i:g :cc.
l au sic|,` saic t|c ¡asto:. l`vc got a |ig| tcu¡c:atu:c a:c |avc a c|ill.` lc soug|t io: s,u¡at|,
i: ou: c,cs. l |avc ¡c:uissio: to givc ,ou a s|o:t sc:vicc, t|c:c will |c :o couuu:io:. l`ll ¡:cac|
as |cst l ca:, t|c: wc`ll si:g a |,u: a:c t|at will |avc to co. l`ll |ust go i:to t|c sac:ist, a:c ¡ut o:
u, cassoc|.` lc |owcc a:c io: a icw uouc:ts stooc i::csolutcl, as ii waiti:g io: a¡¡lausc o: at
lcast souc sig: oi u:cc:sta:ci:g, |ut w|c: :o o:c :cactcc, |c cisa¡¡ca:cc t|:oug| a |cav, coo:.
lat|c: sta:tcc :isi:g i:ou t|c ¡cw. lc was u¡sct. l uust s¡ca| to t|at c:catu:c. lct uc ¡ass.`
lc got out oi t|c ¡cw a:c liu¡cc i:to t|c sac:ist,, lca:i:g |cavil, o: |is stic|. A s|o:t a:c agitatcc
co:vc:satio: c:succ.
A icw ui:utcs latc:, t|c c|u:c|wa:cc: a¡¡ca:cc. lc suilcc i: cu|a::assuc:t a:c cx¡lai:cc
t|at t|c:c woulc |c a couuu:io: sc:vicc. A: olcc: collcaguc woulc assistt|c ¡asto:.
I|c i:t:ocucto:, |,u: was su:g |, t|c o:ga:ist a:c t|c icw c|u:c|goc:s. At t|c c:c oi t|c
scco:c vc:sc, lat|c: cauc i:, i: w|itc vcstuc:ts a:c wit| |is stic|. W|c: t|c |,u: was ovc:, |c
tu::cc to us a:c s¡o|c i: |is calu i:cc voicc. lol,, |ol,, |ol, lo:c Goc oi losts, |cavc: a:c
ca:t| a:c iull oi t|, glo:,. Glo:, |c to t|cc, · lo:c uost lig|.`
I|us l was givc: t|c c:c oi P.-·e. t.¸|· o-1 t|c cociiicatio: oi a :ulc l |avc alwa,s iollowcc a:c
was to iollow i:ou t|c: o:. ...e·¡e.·.·e .¡ e·e.,·|.-¸, ,.o «.!! |.!1 ,.o. ..¬¬o-..-. lt is iu¡o:ta:t to
t|c c|u:c|goc:, |ut cvc: uo:c iu¡o:ta:t to ,ou. Wc s|all |avc to scc ii it is iu¡o:ta:t to Goc. li
t|c:c is :o ot|c: goc t|a: ,ou: |o¡c as suc|, it is iu¡o:ta:t to t|at goc too.
l |ac slc¡t wcll o: a |c:c| i: t|c s|acc a:c :ow t|c suuuo:i:g |cll was :i:gi:g a:c l ¡attc:cc
i:to c|u:c| i: u, |a:c icct. I|c ¡asto:`s wiic too| u, |a:c a:c ¡:csscc uc cow: at |c: sicc i: t|c
i:o:t ¡cw |clow t|c ¡ul¡it. l woulc :at|c: |avc sat i: t|c o:ga: loit, |ut t|c ¡asto:`s wiic was i:
t|c acva:ccc stagcs oi ¡:cg:a:c, a:c l coulc:`t ¡ossi|l, squcczc ¡ast |c:. l iuucciatcl, iclt t|c
:ccc to ¡cc a:c :calizcc u, cist:css woulc last a lo:g tiuc. ;·|u:c| sc:viccs a:c |ac t|cat:c last
lo:gc: t|a: a:,t|i:g clsc i: t|c wo:lc. li ,ou cvc: iccl liic is :us|i:g alo:g too iast, go to c|u:c| o:
t|c t|cat:c. I|c: tiuc sto¡s a:c ,ou t|i:| t|c:c`s souct|i:g w:o:g wit| ,ou: watc| a:c as
·t:i:c|c:g sa,s i: ·:o:u. liic is s|o:t |ut it ca: |c lo:g w|ilc it lasts.`, li|c all c|u:c|goc:s at all
tiucs, l |avc oitc: |ccouc lost i: alta: ¡icccs, t:i¡t,c|cs, c:uciiixcs, stai:cc glass wi:cows a:c
uu:als, w|c:c l coulc ii:c ¡csus a:c t|c :o||c:s i: |looc a:c to:uc:t, \a:, lca:i:g o: ·t ¡o|:,
woua: |c|olc t|, so:, |c|olc t|, uot|c:. \a:, \agcalc:c, t|c si::c:. W|o`c |cc: t|c latcst to
iuc| |c:· I|c l:ig|t ¡la,i:g c|css wit| Dcat|. Dcat| sawi:g cow: t|c I:cc oi liic, a tc::iiicc
w:ctc| w:i:gi:g |is |a:cs at t|c to¡. Dcat| lcaci:g t|c ca:cc to t|c Da:| la:cs, wiclci:g |is
sc,t|c li|c a ilag, t|c co:g:cgatio: ca¡c:i:g i: a lo:g li:c a:c t|c |cstc: |:i:gi:g u¡ t|c :ca:. I|c
ccvils |cc¡i:g t|c ¡ot |oili:g, t|c si::c:s |u:tli:g |caclo:g i:to t|c cc¡t|s a:c Acau a:c lvc
ciscovc:i:g t|ci: :a|cc:css. ·ouc c|u:c|cs a:c li|c aqua:ia, :ot a |a:c ¡atc|. lco¡lc cvc:,w|c:c,
sai:ts, ¡:o¡|cts, a:gcls, ccvils a:c ccuo:s all alivc a:c ilou:is|i:g. I|c |c:ca:c|c,o:c |illowi:g
ovc: walls a:c a:c|cs. kcalit, a:c iuagi:atio: uc:gcc i:to :o|ust u,t|ua|i:g. ·i::c:, |c|olc
t|, la|ou:s, |c|olc w|at awaits t|cc :ou:c t|c co::c:, |c|olc t|c s|acow |c|i:c t|, |ac|:
l was a tcac|c: io: a icw ,ca:s at t|c c:aua sc|ool i: \aluo. Wc wc:c to ¡ut o: a ¡c:io:ua:cc
|ut cic :ot |:ow w|at to ¡la,, a:c t|c: l t|oug|t a|out u, c|ilc|ooc`s c|u:c| uu:als wit| all
t|ci: ¡ictu:cs. l: a icw aitc::oo:s, l w:otc a littlc ¡la, callcc P..1 to.-·.-¸ wit| a ¡a:t io: cvc:,
stucc:t. I|c sc|ool`s uost |a:csouc ,out| was u:io:tu:atcl, t|c lcast giitcc ;|c was to go i:to
o¡c:ctta,. lc ¡la,cc t|c l:ig|t. I|c ·a:acc:s |ac cut out |is to:guc, so |c was cuu|.
P..1 to.-·.-¸ g:acuall, |ccauc 1|e :e·e-·| :eo!, a: u:cvc: iilu w|ic| lics closc to u, |ca:t,
|ccausc it was uacc u:cc: ciiiicult ci:cuusta:ccs i: a su:gc oi vitalit, a:c cclig|t. l: t|c witc|`s
:ig|t io:cst, w|c:c s|c is cxccutcc, ,ou ca: |ust catc| a gliu¡sc |ctwcc: t|c t:ccs oi t|c |ig|:isc
wi:cows oi kasu:ca, t|c su|u:| :cxt to t|c stucio. I|c ¡:occssio: oi ilagclla:ts ua:c|cs ac:oss a
cc:clict sitc o: w|ic| t|c :cw stucio la|o:ato:, woulc |c c:cctcc.
I|c iuagc oi t|c Da:cc oi Dcat| |c:cat| t|c ca:| clouc was ac|icvcc at |cctic s¡ccc |ccausc
uost oi t|c acto:s |ac ii:is|cc io: t|c ca,. Assista:ts, clcct:icia:s, a ua|cu¡ ua: a:c two
suuuc: visito:s, w|o :cvc: |:cw w|at it was all a|out, |ac to c:css u¡ i: t|c costuucs oi t|osc
co:ccu:cc to ccat|. A cauc:a wit| :o sou:c was sct u¡ a:c t|c ¡ictu:c s|ot |cio:c t|c clouc
cissolvcc.
l :cvc: ca:cc go to slcc¡ w|c: lat|c: was ¡:cac|i:g. lc saw cvc:,t|i:g. A i:ic:c oi t|c
iauil,`s |ac o:cc iallc: aslcc¡ cu:i:g t|c ca:l, uo::i:g ·|:istuas sc:vicc i: t|c ·o¡|ia|cuuct
los¡ital c|a¡cl. lat|c: i:tc::u¡tcc |is sc:uo: a:c saic ¡c:icctl, calul,. Wa|c u¡, li:a:. W|at is
to couc co:cc::s ,ou.` I|c: |c s¡o|c o: t|c t|cuc oi t|c last s|all |c ii:st. u:clc li:a: was t|c
cc¡ut, a:c|ivist at t|c lo:cig: Dc¡a:tuc:t a:c c:caut oi |ccoui:g t|c sc:io: a:c|ivist. lc was a
|ac|clo: a:c ¡la,cc t|c violi:.
Aitc: t|c sc:vicc, coiicc was sc:vcc at t|c ¡a:so:agc, w|c:c t|c:c was a iat ,cllow|ai:cc so: oi
u, agc. Wc wc:c givc: |uicc a:c |u:s. ·sca: was cisgusti:g. lc |ac cczcua o: |is scal¡ a:c wo:c
a ca¡ oi ci:t,, ¡i:|s¡ottcc |a:cagcs a:c |c¡t sc:atc|i:g |iuscli. lc suclt oi cisi:iccta:t. Wc
wc:c sc:t to t|c :u:sc:,, w|ic| ·sca: |ac tu::cc i:to a c|u:c| wit| a: alta:, ca:clcstic|s, c:uciiix
a:c colou:cc tissuc ¡a¡c: stuc| to t|c wi:cows, a c|au|c: o:ga: i: t|c co::c:. I|c sucll oi
cisi:iccta:t a:c ccac ilics was st:o:g. ·sca: as|cc uc ii l wa:tcc to |ca: a sc:uo: o: w|ct|c: l`c
li|c to ¡la, iu:c:als. lc |ac a littlc c|ilc`s coiii: i: t|c wa:c:o|c. l saic l cic:`t |clicvc i: Goc.
·sca: sc:atc|cc |is |cac a:c assu:cc uc t|at t|c cxistc:cc oi Goc |ac |cc: scic:tiiicall, ¡:ovcc,
a:c t|at t|c wo:lc`s g:catcst scic:tist was a kussia: callcc li:stci: |c |ac caug|t a gliu¡sc oi
t|c iacc oi Goc ccc¡ cow: i: |is uat|cuatical io:uulac. l :c¡licc t|at l |ac :o i:tc:tio: oi
swallowi:g t|at |it oi ccccit. Wc aluost qua::cllcc. ·sca: was st:o:gc: t|a: l a:c twistcc u,
a:u, ccua:ci:g t|at l acuit to t|c cxistc:cc oi Goc. lt |u:t a:c i:ig|tc:cc uc, |ut l :ci:ai:cc
i:ou calli:g io: |cl¡. ·sca: was ¡:csuua|l, uac. lciots |avc to |avc t|ci: ow: wa,, ot|c:wisc
,ou :cvc: |:ow w|at uig|t |a¡¡c:. l |astil, acuittcc u, |clici i: t|c cxistc:cc oi Goc.
Aitc: l |ac uacc u, co:icssio:, wc sul|cc i: sc¡a:atc co::c:s. l: tiuc, wc saic ou: ia:cwclls
a:c ¡a:tcc. lat|c: |ac ¡ac|cc |is cassoc| a:c colla:, ¡us|cc |is |at o: t|c |ac| oi |is |cac a:c |ac
uc cliu| u¡ o: t|c i:o:t ca::ic:. I|c ¡asto: a:c |is wiic wa:tcc us to wait u:til t|c sto:u |ac
¡asscct|c su: was al:cac, o: t|c ccgc oi a t|ic| clouc |ut s|i:i:g |:ig|tl,, t|c |cat suiiocati:g
wit| a¡¡:oac|i:g :ai:. lat|c: t|a:|cc t|cu a:c suilcc. Wc woulc :o cou|t csca¡c it. A:,|ow, a
littlc cooli:g :ai: woulc |c ¡lcasa:t. I|c ¡asto:`s wiic ¡:csscc uc to |c: |ig |osou, |c: |cll, iull
to |u:sti:g, s|c suclt oi swcat. l aluost icll oii t|c ca::ic:. I|c ¡asto: s|oo| |a:cs. lc |ac t|ic|
li¡s a:c s¡:a,cc saliva as |c s¡o|c. ·sca: was :ow|c:c to |c scc:.
At last wc got awa,. :ot|i:g was saic, |ut l sc:scc lat|c: was :clicvcc. lc was |uuui:g t|c
tu:c oi souc suuuc: |,u: a:c ¡ccalli:g awa,. Wc w|izzcc alo:g at s¡ccc.
As wc ¡asscc t|c tu::i:g to D|u¡ta`::, lat|c: suggcstcc wc s|oulc ta|c a quic| ci¡. l t|oug|t
t|at a gooc icca, so wc tu::cc oii o: to t|c littlc ¡at| cow: t|:oug| a ¡astu:cla:c |cav, wit| t|c
ac:ic i:ag:a:cc oi |:ac|c: a:c olc :cccs.
I|c la|c was ci:cula: a:c co:sicc:cc |ottoulcss, t|c ¡at| c:ci:g i: a :a::ow st:i¡ oi sa:c
|o:cc:i:g o: t|c watc: a:c :u::i:g stcc¡l, cow: i:to t|c ca:|:css. Wc u:c:csscc. lat|c: t|:cw
|iuscli |ac|wa:cs i:to t|c watc:, ¡uiii:g a:c |lowi:g. l was uo:c cautious, too| a icw st:o|cs a:c
lct u,scli si:| |clow t|c su:iacc, w|c:c t|c:c was :o |ottou, :o ¡la:ts, :ot|i:g.
I|c: wc sat o: t|c |a:| a:c c:icc oii i: t|c o¡¡:cssivc |cat, su::ou:ccc |, il,i:g i:sccts.
lat|c: |ac st:aig|t s|oulcc:s, a |ig| c|cst, lo:g st:o:g lcgs a:c a |ig ¡c:is wit| sca:ccl, a:, |ai:.
lis a:us wc:c uuscula: wit| a lot oi |:ow: s¡ots o: |is w|itc s|i:. l sat |ctwcc: |is |:ccs li|c
¡csus |a:gi:g o: |is c:oss i: t|at olc t:i¡t,c|. lat|c: |ac iou:c a ccc¡ ¡u:¡lc ilowc: o: t|c s|o:c
a:c was wo:cc:i:g w|at it was callcc. lc ¡ullcc it a¡a:t a:c gucsscc. lc |:cw aluost cvc:,t|i:g
a|out ilowc:s a:c |i:cs.
Alt|oug| wc wc:c iull aitc: t|c a|u:ca:cc oi iooc at t|c ¡a:so:agc, wc ii:is|cc u¡ ou:
sa:cwic|cs a:c s|a:cc a lcuo:acc.
lt g:cw ca:|c:, a icw was¡s uacc swiit attac|s o: ou: sa:cwic|cs, a:c succc:l, t|c:c wc:c
i::uuc:a|lc ci:clcs o: t|c s|i:, su:iacc oi t|c watc:, t|c: t|c, va:is|cc aluost at o:cc.
Wc ccciccc wc |ac to |c oii.
W|c: lat|c: |ccauc a wicowc:, l oitc: wc:t to scc |iu a:c wc tal|cc to cac| ot|c: o:
i:ic:cl, tc:us. ·:c ca, l was wit| |is |ousc|cc¡c:, ccali:g wit| a icw ¡:actical ¡:o|lcus. Wc
|ca:c |iu slowl, s|uiili:g cow: t|c co::ico:, t|c: |c |:oc|cc o: t|c coo: a:c cauc i:to t|c
:oou, ¡cc:i:g i: t|c st:o:g lig|t. lc |ac clca:l, |cc: aslcc¡. lc loo|cc at us i: su:¡:isc a:c saic.
las la:i: couc |ouc ,ct·` At t|c sauc uouc:t |c :calizcc |is ¡ai:iul co:iusio: a:c suilcc i:
cu|a::assuc:t. \ot|c: |ac |cc: ccac io: iou: ,ca:s a:c |c |ac uacc a iool oi |iuscli |, as|i:g
aitc: |c:. lcio:c cit|c: oi us |ac tiuc to sa, a:,t|i:g, |c wavcc |is stic| cisuissivcl, a:c wc:t
|ac| to |is :oou.
A :otc i: u, wo:| |ou::al, !!, A¡:il 1-¯0. lat|c: is c,i:g. l wc:t to scc |iu o: ·u:ca, at
·o¡|ia|cuuct los¡ital. lc was aslcc¡ a:c s:o:i:g. lcit, w|o sta,s wit| |iu ca, a:c :ig|t, wo|c
|iu a:c lcit t|c :oou. lis iacc is t|c iacc oi a c,i:g ua:, |ut |is c,cs a:c clca: a:c st:a:gcl,
cx¡:cssivc. lc w|is¡c:cc souct|i:g, |ut it was iu¡ossi|lc to u:cc:sta:c w|at |c wa:tcc to sa,. l
su¡¡osc |c was slig|tl, co:iuscc. lt was ca¡tivati:g to scc t|c wa, |is c,cs c|a:gcc cx¡:cssio:
scvc:al tiucs. c|allc:gi:g, qucstio:i:g, iu¡atic:t, i:ig|tc:cc, scc|i:g co:tact. W|c: l :osc to
lcavc, |c succc:l, too| u, |a:c a:c |is voicc |lu::cc. lc was :caci:g souct|i:g a:c l :calizcc it
was t|c llcssi:g. A c,i:g iat|c: calli:g cow: Goc`s |lcssi:g o: |is so:. lvc:,t|i:g |a¡¡c:cc vc:,
swiitl, a:c u:cx¡cctccl,.
!. A¡:il 1-¯0. lat|c: still alivc. I|at is, |c is ¡:oiou:cl, u:co:scious, |is st:o:g |ca:t t|c o:l,
t|i:g iu:ctio:i:g. lcit t|i:|s s|c is couuu:i:g wit| |iu |, |olci:g |is |a:c. ·|c s¡ca|s to |iu
a:c |c :cs¡o:cs t|:oug| t|c |a:c. lt is u:iat|oua|lc |ut ¡oig:a:t. I|c, a:c c|ilc|ooc i:ic:cs.
!- A¡:il 1-¯0. lat|c: is ccac. lc ¡asscc awa, o: ·u:ca, at twc:t, ¡ast iou: i: t|c aitc::oo:.
lis ccat| was ¡cacciul. l ii:c it ciiiicult to cx¡lai: w|at l iclt a|out scci:g |iu. lc was totall,
u::ccog:iza|lc, |is iacc uost oi all :cui:ci:g uc oi ¡ictu:cs oi t|c ccac i: t|c co:cc:t:atio:
cau¡s. lt was a iacc oi ccat|. l t|i:| oi |iu i:ou a ccs¡ai:i:g cista:cc, |ut wit| tc:cc::css. I|i:gs
a:c |ac io: lc:gua: t|is ca,, ccs¡itc t|c i:ic:cl, lig|t ovc: t|c sca. I|c ,ca::i:g io: souct|i:g at
last to touc| uc, to givc uc g:acc. I|i:gs a:c |ac t|is ca,. :ot t|at l iccl ill o: t|c co:t:a:, |ut
u, soul. . . .
W|c: wc cuc:gcc i:ou t|c |i:c| woocs out o: to t|c ¡lai: oi wicc iiclcs wc saw t|c suuuc:
lig|t:i:g ovc: t|c |ills. lcav, c:o¡s icll i:to t|c cust o: t|c :oac a:c uacc st:ca|s a:c ¡attc::s.
Wc s|oulc go :ou:c t|c wo:lc li|c t|is, ,ou a:c uc, lat|c:,` l saic. lat|c: laug|cc a:c gavc uc
|is |at to |olc. Wc wc:c |ot| i: a gooc uooc. I|c |ailsto:u cauc as wc wc:c goi:g u¡|ill
towa:cs t|c ccsc:tcc villagc. l: t|c cou:sc oi a ui:utc o: so, t|c sto:u ccscc:ccc, lig|t:i:g
ilas|i:g t|:oug| all t|c |lac|, t|c t|u:cc:cla¡s |ccoui:g a ccasclcss :oa:. I|c |cav, :ai: tu::cc
i:to t|ic| luu¡s oi icc. lat|c: a:c l :a: to t|c :ca:cst ccsc:tcc ia:u, w|c:c t|c:c was a wago:
s|cc a:c a icw a|a:co:cc ca:ts. I|c :ooi |ac go:c |ut wc s|cltc:cc u:cc: w|at |ac o:cc |cc: a
|a,loit.
Wc sat o: a |ugc |cau a:c loo|cc out t|:oug| t|c o¡c: coo:wa,. A tall |i:c| o: t|c slo¡c
outsicc was twicc st:uc| |, lig|t:i:g, suo|c ¡ou:i:g out oi its t:u:| a:c t|c ioliagc swi:gi:g
a|out as ii i: to:uc:t, t|c :oa: s|a|i:g t|c g:ou:c. l sat |ucclcc closc to lat|c:`s |:cc. lis
t:ousc:s suclt wct, |is iacc was soa|cc a:c |c wi¡cc it wit| |is slccvc. A:c ,ou sca:cc·` lat|c:
as|cc. l saic l was:`t sca:cc, |ut l t|oug|t. lc:|a¡s t|is is t|c last ¡ucgcuc:t, w|c: t|c a:gcls
|low o: t|ci: t:uu¡cts a:c t|c sta: callcc Wo:uwooc ialls i:to t|c sca. l |ac i:cccc cc:icc t|c
cxistc:cc oi Goc, |ut l cic :ot t|i:| l woulc |c ¡u:is|cc, |ccausc Goc t|c lat|c:, wit| ¡csus o:
|is :ig|t |a:c, woulc scc to it t|at l was |iccc:.
I|c gusts oi wi:c succc:l, g:cw iic:cc a:c c|ill,. lt tu::cc colc a:c u, tcct| sta:tcc
c|attc:i:g. lat|c: too| oii |is |ac|ct a:c w:a¡¡cc it :ou:c uc. lt was wct |ut wa:u i:ou lat|c:`s
wa:ut|. ·ouctiucs t|c la:csca¡c cisa¡¡ca:cc |c|i:c a cu:tai: oi :ai:. I|c sto:u |ac sto¡¡cc, |ut
|ailsto:cs wc:c still l,i:g o: t|c g:ou:c. ·utsicc t|c s|cc, a ¡ool oi watc: |ac io:ucc a:c sta:tcc
:u::i:g u:cc: t|c sto:cs o: w|ic| t|c s|cc stooc. I|c lig|t was g:c, a:c u:stcac,, li|c cus| wit|
:o su:sct. I|c t|u:cc: :ct:catcc a:c cullcc, t|c :ai: tu::i:g i:ou a sto:u, ilooc i:to a stcac,
st:cau.
Wc sct oii. Wc |ac al:cac, |cc: awa, i:ou |ouc ia: too lo:g a:c it was ¡ast ci::c: tiuc. la:t
oi t|c :oac was a :us|i:g st:cau, ua|i:g c,cli:g |a:c wo:|, a:c t|c |ic,clc succc:l, s|icccc. l
¡ullcc u¡ u, lcgs a:c :ollcc cow: a g:ass, slo¡c. lat|c: icll o: t|c :oac. W|c: l got u¡, |c was
l,i:g t|c:c quitc uotio:lcss, o:c lcg u:cc: t|c |ic,clc a:c |is |cac cow:. :.« to·|e.· 1eo1,
A uouc:t latc: |c tu::cc |is |cac a:c as|cc ii l |ac |u:t u,scli, t|c: |c |cga: to laug| |is
o:ci:a:, c|cc:iul laug|. lc got u¡ a:c ¡ic|cc u¡ t|c |i|c. lc |ac a littlc g:azc o: |is c|cc| w|ic|
was |lccci:g. Wc wc:c ci:t,, wct a:c uucc,, a:c it was still :ai:i:g. Wc wal|cc |csicc cac|
ot|c:, lat|c: laug|i:g :ow a:c agai:, as ii :clicvcc.
I|c:c was a la:gc ia:u |ust |cio:c wc got to t|c ic::,. lat|c: |:oc|cc o: t|c coo: a:c as|cc ii
|c coulc usc t|c tclc¡|o:c, |ut t|c olc ua: saic t|c sto:u |ac cut it oii. I|c olc woua: oiic:cc us
coiicc. ·|c ccciccc l |ac to u:c:css a:c t|c: s|c :u||cc uc wit| a |a:c towcl all ovc: u, |oc,.
I|c: s|c ¡:ocuccc a ¡ai: oi coa:sc li:c: u:cc:¡a:ts, a :ig|ts|i:t, a ca:ciga: a:c a ¡ai: oi t|ic|
woollc: soc|s. At ii:st l :ciuscc to ¡ut o: wouc:`s clot|i:g, |ut lat|c: tu::cc stc:: a:c l |ac to
o|c,. lat|c: |o::owcc a ¡ai: oi t:ousc:s i:ou t|c olc ua: a:c ¡ut o: |is cassoc|, sli¡¡i:g a: olc
lcat|c: waistcoat o: to¡ oi t|c cassoc|. I|c olc ua: |a::csscc a t:a¡ wit| a |ooc a:c wc got |ac|
to Va:ous at cus|.
lvc:,o:c laug|cc at ou: outiits.
I|at sauc cvc:i:g u, |:ot|c: a:c two i:ic:cs oi t|c sauc agc ilcw i:ou t|c \issio: lousc o:
a uagic ca:¡ct out oi t|c wi:cow a:c awa, ovc: t|c io:cst. I|c co:s¡i:ato:s wc:c slcc¡i:g o:
uatt:csscs t|c, |ac ¡ullcc togct|c: i: a c:au¡cc :oou :cxt to t|c :u:sc:,. l was tolc stc::l, to
sta, i: u, |cc a:c :ot to uovc.
l coulc :ot ¡ossi|l, ta|c ¡a:t i: t|c il,i:g t:i¡, io: l was too suall. A:c it was u:cc:tai:
w|ct|c: t|c uagic ca:¡ct woulc |olc uo:c t|a: t|:cc ilic:s. I|:oug| t|c |alio¡c: coo: l |ca:c
w|is¡c:cc co:vc:satio:s a:c su¡¡:csscc laug|tc:, t|c t|u:cc: :olli:g i: t|c cista:cc a:c t|c :ai:
|issi:g o: t|c :ooi. :ow a:c agai: sou:clcss ilas|cs oi lig|t:i:g lit u¡ t|c :oou.
I|c: l quitc clca:l, |ca:c t|c wi:cow |ci:g o¡c:cc. I|c uagic ca:¡ct was t|:ow: out o: to
t|c ¡o:c| :ooi a:c t|c ilic:s cliu|cc out aitc: it. A gust oi wi:c st:uc| t|c |ousc, ua|i:g t|c walls
c:ca|, a:c t|c :ai: i:c:cascc. l coulc:`t co:t:ol u,scli a:c :us|cc i:to t|c :cxt :oou, |ut it was
cu¡t,, t|c :ug go:c, t|c wi:cow o¡c: to t|c :ig|t a:c t|c cu:tai: iluttc:i:g i: t|c c:aug|t. I|c
lig|t:i:g :cvcalcc u, |:ot|c: iloati:g awa, ovc: t|c ccgc oi t|c io:cst o: t|c :ccc|cc|cc :ug,
togct|c: wit| lc:gt a:c ·tc: l:,||olu.
I|c, wc:c ti:cc a:c silc:t t|c :cxt uo::i:g. At iauil, |:ca|iast, w|c: l t:icc to |:i:g u¡ t|c
su||cct oi t|ci: ilig|t, l was silc:ccc |, u, |:ot|c:`s t|:catc:i:g loo|s.

!.
·:c ·u:ca, i: Dcccu|c:, l was listc:i:g to lac|`s ·|:istuas ·:ato:io i: lccvig llco:o:a
·|u:c|. lt was aitc::oo:. ·:ow |ac |cc: ialli:g, silc:tl,, wit| :o wi:c. I|c: t|c su: cauc out.
l was sitti:g o: t|c lcit, |ig| u¡ u:cc: t|c vaultcc :ooi. I|c golcs|iuuc:i:g uovi:g su:lig|t
was :cilcctcc st:o:gl, i: t|c :ow oi wi:cows i: t|c ¡a:so:agc o¡¡ositc t|c c|u:c|, io:ui:g iigu:cs
a:c ¡attc::s o: t|c i::c: a|utuc:t oi t|c a:c|, t|c ci:cct lig|t sla:ti:g t|:oug| t|c couc i:
|:illia:t s|aits. I|c uosaic wi:cow |, t|c alta: ila:cc io: a icw uouc:ts, t|c: was cxti:guis|cc, a
sou:clcss cx¡losio: oi cull :cc, |luc a:c golcc: |:ow:. I|c c|o:alc uovcc co:iicc:tiall, t|:oug|
t|c ca:|c:i:g c|u:c|. lac|`s ¡ict, |cals t|c to:uc:t oi ou: iait|lcss:css. I|c t:cu|li:g u:cas,
lig|t ¡attc::s o: t|c wall uovcc u¡wa:cs, :a::owcc, lost t|ci: st:c:gt| a:c wc:c cxti:guis|cc.
I|c Dui:o: t:uu¡cts :aiscc t|ci: |u|ila:t c:ics to t|c ·aviou:. A gc:tlc g:c,is||luc lig|t iillcc
t|c c|u:c| wit| succc: still:css, tiuclcss still:css.
lt |ac g:ow: colc, t|c st:cct lig|ts :ot ,ct o:, t|c s:ow al:cac, c:u:c|i:g u:cc:ioot, u, |:cat|
stcaui:g, scvc:c colc io: Acvc:t. W|at will t|c wi:tc: |c li|c· lt will |c |a:c to |ca: :ow. lac|`s
c|o:alc was still uovi:g li|c colou:iul iloati:g veiis i: u, co:scious:css, ilitti:g |ac| a:c io:t|
ac:oss t|:cs|olcs a:c t|:oug| o¡c:cc coo:s. ¡o,.
l: u, ui:c, i: a :as| uouc:t, l c:oss t|c ·u:ca,quict ·to:gata: a:c go i:to t|c ¡a:so:agc. lt
suclls oi scou:i:g ¡owcc: a:c |oli:css. ¡ust as it cic iiit, ,ca:s |cio:c.
I|c |ig a¡a:tuc:t is silc:t a:c ccsc:tcc, t|c lig|t i:ou t|c s:ow uovi:g ovc: t|c salo: ccili:g,
a ccs| lau¡ s|i:i:g i: \ot|c:`s :oou, t|c ci:i:g :oou i: ca:|:css. ·ouco:c |u::ics ¡ast, lca:i:g
slig|tl, io:wa:c, t|:oug| t|c ¡a:t:, ¡assagc. low voiccs ca: |c |ca:c i: t|c cista:cc, wouc:`s
voiccs, a ¡cacciul |uzz oi c|at, s¡oo:s cclicatcl, cli:|i:g agai:st ¡o:cclai:. lt is ·u:ca, aitc::oo:
coiicc tiuc at t|c |itc|c: ta|lc.
l ta|c oii u, ovc:coat a:c s|ocs a:c ¡ac ac:oss t|c c:ca|i:g a:c :cwl, ¡olis|cc ¡a:quct
iloo:i:g oi t|c ci:i:g :oou. \ot|c: is sitti:g at |c: ccs|, |c: glasscs o: |c: :osc, |c: :ot ,ct w|itc
|ai: i: slig|t ciso:cc: as s|c lca:s ovc: |c: cia:,, w:iti:g wit| a sliu iou:tai: ¡c:. I|c ¡ictu:c is
suoot|` a:c cou¡clli:g, |ut uic:osco¡ic. lc: lcit |a:c is :csti:g o: t|c ccs| ovc:la,, t|c ii:gc:s
s|o:t a:c st:o:g, t|c |ac| oi |c: |a:c c:issc:osscc wit| |luc vci:s, t|c |cav, wccci:g :i:gs a:c
t|c ciauo:c :i:g glcaui:g |ctwcc: t|cu. lc: :ails a:c cut s|o:t, t|c cuticlcs :cglcctcc.
·|c quic|l, tu::s |c: |cac a:c catc|cs sig|t oi uc. ;low l |avc ,ca::cc io: t|is uouc:t. lvc:
si:cc \ot|c: cicc, l |avc ,ca::cc io: t|is uouc:t., ·|c suilcs a littlc io:uall,, at o:cc closcs |c:
|oo| a:c ta|cs oii |c: glasscs. l |iss |c: iiliall,, o: t|c io:c|cac a:c t|c |:ow: uolc |, |c: lcit
c,c.
l |:ow l`u cistu:|i:g ,ou. I|is is \ot|c:`s ow: s¡ccial uouc:t, l |:ow. lat|c:`s :csti:g
|cio:c ci::c: a:c \ot|c:`s :caci:g, o: w:iti:g i: |c: cia:,. l`vc |ust |cc: i: c|u:c| listc:i:g to
lac|`s ·|:istuas ·:ato:io. lt was |cautiiul, t|c lig|t was |cautiiul a:c all t|c tiuc l t|oug|t. :ow
l`ll ua|c a: attcu¡t, t|is tiuc it will |c succcssiul.`
\ot|c: suilcs. l:o:icall,, l t|i:|. l |:ow w|at s|c`s t|i:|i:g: You ¡asscc ·to:gata: quitc oitc:
o: ,ou: wa, to ,ou: t|cat:c, cvc:, ca,. You :a:cl, o: :cvc: t|oug|t oi coui:g to scc us t|c:. :o,
l su¡¡osc l cic:`t. l au a lc:gua:. Do:`t cistu:|, co:`t i:t:ucc. A:,|ow t|c:c`s alwa,s tal| a|out
u, c|ilc:c:. l ca:`t tal| a|out u, c|ilc:c:, as l :cvc: scc t|cu. A:c all t|at cuotio:al |lac|uail.
You coulc, |ust io: u, sa|c. Do:`t |c a:g:,, :ow, \ot|c:: Wc wo:`t ¡ut all ou: ca:cs o: t|c
ta|lc. I|c:c`s :o ¡oi:t. lct uc |ust sit io: a icw ui:utcs i: t|is olc c|ai:. Wc :ccc:`t cvc: s¡ca|
to cac| ot|c:. li \ot|c: woulc |ust go o: w:iti:g i: |c: cia:,. I|c was|i:g uac|i:c. l was goi:g to
|u, a was|i:g uac|i:c, was:`t l, io: ·|:ist`s sa|c. \ot|c: s|oulc |avc a was|i:g uac|i:c, l
t|oug|t :ow a:c agai:, |ut oi cou:sc :ot|i:g cauc oi it.
\ot|c: gcts u¡ a:c wal|s swiitl, ;alwa,s quic| stc¡s, out i:to t|c ci:i:g :oou, cisa¡¡ca:i:g
i:to t|c ca:|:css. I|c: l ca: |ca: :uuuagi:g i: t|c salo:. ·|c lig|ts t|c lau¡ o: t|c :ou:c ta|lc,
coucs |ac|, lics cow: o: t|c |cc wit| t|c ca:|:cc cou:tc:¡a:c a:c ¡ulls |c: g:c,|luc s|awl
ovc: |c:.
l`u still ti:cc,` s|c sa,s a¡ologcticall,.
l wa:t to as| \ot|c: a|out souct|i:g u:gc:t. ·cvc:al ,ca:s ago, l t|i:| it was i: t|c suuuc:
oi 1-·0, l was sitti:g i: u, wo:|:oou i: la:o a:c it was :ai:i:g, t|at soit quict suuuc: :ai:, as ii
it wc:c goi:g to :ai: all ca,, t|c |i:c t|at cocs:`t cxist a:, uo:c. l was :caci:g a:c listc:i:g to t|c
:ai:. I|c: l iclt t|at \ot|c: was vc:, :ca: uc, |csicc uc. l coulc |avc |clc out u, |a:c a:c ta|c:
|c:s. lt was:`t t|at l |ac iallc: aslcc¡. l`u su:c oi t|at, a:c it was:`t cvc: a su¡c::atu:al cvc:t. l
|:cw \ot|c: was wit| uc i: t|c :oou, o: cic l iuagi:c it· l ca:`t ua|c it out. :ow l`u as|i:g,
\ot|c:.`
lt ¡:o|a|l, was:`t uc,` s|c sa,s calul,. l`u still ia: too ti:cc. A:c ,ou su:c it was:`t souco:c
clsc·`
l s|a|c u, |cac, ccs¡o:cc:c,, t|c iccli:g oi t:cs¡assi:g.
Wc |ccauc i:ic:cs, wc |ccauc i:ic:cs, cic:`t wc· I|c olc a¡¡o:tio:i:g oi :olcs oi uot|c:
a:c so: wc:c cissolvcc, a:c wc |ccauc i:ic:cs· Wc s¡o|c o¡c:l, a:c i:tiuatcl,. Dic:`t wc· Dic
liic |ccouc cou¡:c|c:si|lc· Dic l gct a:,w|c:c :ca: to u:cc:sta:ci:g· :o, co:`t t|i:| l`u sitti:g
|c:c gctti:g co:iuscc, c:us|cc |, scli:c¡:oac|cs. I|at`s :ot so at aii. lut i:ic:cs|i¡· Wc:c:`t t|c
:olcs u:c|a:gcc, o:l, w|at was saic :cw:ittc:· I|c gauc too| ¡lacc o: u, co:citio:s. lut lovc· l
|:ow wc co:`t usc suc| tc:us i: ou: iauil,. lat|c: tal|s a|out Goc`s lovc i: c|u:c|. lut |c:c at
|ouc· W|at was it li|c io: us· low cic wc co¡c wit| t|at civiccc |ca:t, t|at cou¡:csscc |at:cc·`
You uust tal| to souco:c clsc a|out t|at. l`u too ti:cc.`
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wca:i:css t|:oug| u, :c:vcs a:c guts. \ot|c: saic. ª:ow ,ou uust auusc ,ou:scli, go a:c ¡la,
wit| ,ou: :cw to,s. :o, l co:`t li|c |ci:g ca:csscc. You`:c too ca:cssi:g. You |c|avc li|c a gi:l.¨
\ot|c: souctiucs saic s|c was :cvc: accc¡tcc |, G:a:cuot|c:. G:a:cuot|c: gavc all |c:
lovc to |c: ,ou:gcst c|ilc, t|c o:c w|o cicc. W|o got \ot|c:`s lovc·`
·|c tu::s |c: iacc to t|c lig|t i:ou t|c ccs| lau¡ a:c :ow l scc t|c ca:| gazc t|at ca: |c
:cit|c: :ctu::cc :o: c:cu:cc.
l |:ow,` l sa, swiitl,, wit| a s|uccc: l ii:c |a:c to co:t:ol. I|c ilowc:s t|:ivcc. I|c c:cc¡c:s
cliu|cc, t|c :cw s|oots wc:c g:cc:. I|c ilowc:s t|:ivcc, |ut \·· W|, cic cvc:,t|i:g |ccouc so
uisc:a|lc· Was it t|c lc:gua: ¡a:al,sis, o: was it souct|i:g clsc·
l :cucu|c: souc so::ow u, |:ot|c: |ac causcc. \ot|c: cauc out oi t|is :oou a:c wc:t
t|:oug| t|c salo:. Wc wc:c i: t|c:c a:c \ot|c: staggc:cc to t|c lcit. l t|oug|t s|c`s acti:g, |ut
s|c`s ovc:acti:g, t|at was:`t at all co:vi:ci:g.
Wc:c wc givc: uas|s i:stcac oi iaccs· Wc:c wc givc: |,stc:ia i:stcac oi iccli:gs· Wc:c wc
givc: s|auc a:c guilt i:stcac oi lovc a:c io:givc:css·`
\ot|c: gcstu:cs towa:cs |c: |ai:, |c: gazc sou|:c a:c still. l co:`t t|i:| s|c cvc: |li:|s.
W|, cic u, |:ot|c: |ccouc a: i:valic· W|, was u, sistc: c:us|cc i:to a sc:cau· W|, cic l
livc wit| a :cvc:|cali:g i:icctcc so:c t|at wc:t :ig|t t|:oug| u, |oc,· l |avc :o wis| to |a:c out
|lauc. l`u :o cc|t collccto:. l |ust wa:t to |:ow w|, ou: uisc:, |ccauc so tc::i|lc |c|i:c t|at
|:ittlc social ¡:cstigc. W|, wc:c u, |:ot|c: a:c sistc: aiicctcc so tc::i|l,, ccs¡itc all t|c ca:c,
su¡¡o:t a:c t:ust· W|, was l i:ca¡a|lc oi :o:ual |uua: :clatio:s|i¡s io: so lo:g·`
\ot|c: sits u¡, loo|s awa, a:c c:aws a ccc¡ |:cat|. l scc t|at s|c |as a littlc |a:caic o: |c:
lcit io:cii:gc:. A littlc golc watc| is tic|i:g |usil, o: t|c |ccsicc ta|lc. ·|c swallows scvc:al tiucs.
l |avc a |ugc a:sc:al oi cx¡la:atio:s, io: cvc:, iccli:g, cvc:, uovcuc:t o: |ocil,
i:cis¡ositio:, io: w|, l usc |ust t|csc wo:cs. ·:c :ocs so u:cc:sta:ci:gl,. I|at`s |ow it uust |c:
A:c ,ct l |u:tlc |caclo:g t|:oug| t|c a|,ss oi liic. I|at sou:cs uag:iiicc:t, |u:tli:g t|:oug| t|c
a|,ss oi liic. lut t|c a|,ss is a iact, a:c it is also |ottoulcss. ·:c cocs:`t cvc: |ill o:cscli i: a
sto:, :avi:c o: o: t|c su:iacc oi t|c watc:. l au calli:g io: \ot|c: as l alwa,s |avc. W|c: it was
:ig|t a:c l |ac a icvc:. W|c: l .cauc |ac| i:ou sc|ool. W|c: l :a: t|:oug| t|c |os¡ital g:ou:cs
i: t|c ca:|, c|ascc |, souc g|ost. W|c: l st:ctc|cc out u, |a:c to :cac| \ot|c: t|at :ai:,
aitc::oo: o: la:o. l co:`t |:ow. l |:ow :ot|i:g. W|at is it wc a:c goi:g t|:oug| togct|c:· Wc
wo:`t |c a|lc to co¡c wit| t|is. Ycs, it`s t:uc. l |avc |ig| |looc ¡:cssu:c. I|at |a¡¡c:cc cu:i:g a
tiuc oi |uuiliatio: a:c ccg:acatio:. \, c|cc|s |u:: a:c l |ca: souco:c |owli:g, u,scli, l
su¡¡osc.
l uust co:t:ol u,scli a:c calu cow:. I|is uccti:g |as:`t tu::cc out at all as l |ac iuagi:cc.
Wc wc:c to |c a littlc ucla:c|ol, a:c tal| quictl, a|out t|csc u,stc:ics. You wc:c to listc: a:c
cx¡lai:. lvc:,t|i:g was to uoulc itscli as clca:l, a:c ¡c:icctl, as a lac| c|o:alc. W|, |avc wc
:cvc: uscc t|c i:tiuatc 1o to \ot|c: o: lat|c:· W|, cic wc |avc to s¡ca| to ou: ¡a:c:ts i: a
cista:ci:g g:auuatical a|su:cit,·
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a st:o:g uag:ii,i:g glass, t:,i:g to ua|c out t|c uic:osco¡ic, ¡a:tl, coccc w:iti:gs. ·lowl, |c
:calizcc t|at |c |ac :cvc: |:ow: t|c woua: |c |ac |cc: ua::icc to io: iiit, ,ca:s. W|, cic:`t
\ot|c: |u:: t|c cia:ics· lla::cc :ct:i|utio:, l su¡¡osc· :ow l au s¡ca|i:g a:c ,ou co:`t
u:cc:sta:c uc. l`u tclli:g ,ou w|at is i::c:uost i: uc a:c ¡lcasc co:`t :cs¡o:c |, sa,i:g
:ot|i:g. llcasc co:`t sa, :ot|i:g i: t|c wa, ,ou alwa,s cic w|c: l ¡lcaccc, wc¡t a:c :agcc.`
l :ow scc t|at \ot|c: is cissolvi:g. lc: lcgs |avc cisa¡¡ca:cc u:cc: t|c s|awl, |c: ¡alc iacc
|as sc¡a:atcc i:ou |c: :cc| a:c is iloati:g i: i:o:t oi t|c o:ic:tal c:a¡c:ics, |c: c,cs |ali closcc.
I|c ca:| gazc is tu::cc i:wa:cs, t|c io:cii:gc: wit| t|c |a:caic o: it lics uotio:lcss agai:st t|c
ccgc oi t|c golc watc|. lc: sliu |oc, si:|s i:to t|c ¡attc:: oi t|c cou:tc:¡a:c.
l ua|c a: ciio:t, |ut :ot too g:cat a o:c.
Wc qua::cllcc. \ot|c: sla¡¡cc u, iacc. l |it |ac|. W|, cic wc qua::cl· Ic::i|lc s|owcow:s,
slauui:g coo:s, iu:ious tca:s. W|, cic wc qua::cl· l co:`t :cucu|c: w|at a|out, cxcc¡t t|at last
o:c a|out lat|c: i: |os¡ital. Was it |calous,, scc|i:g co:tact o: |ust ou: u¡|:i:gi:g· l :cucu|c:
ou:, :cco:ciliatio:s, t|c gc:tlc :clici. lut t|c lics·`
I|c iai:t sucll oi i:,i:g |c::i:gs cuc:gcs i:ou t|c |itc|c:. lat|c: coug|s ia: awa, i: |is stuc,.
lc is gctti:g u¡ i:ou |is uicca, :cst a:c sitti:g cow: at |is ccs| wit| a ciga:illo a:c |is lc|:cw
g:auua:.
A icw ,ca:s ago l uacc a littlc iilu oi \ot|c:`s iacc. l uacc it wit| a: · uu cauc:a a:c a
s¡ccial lc:s. As l |ac stolc: all t|c iauil, ¡|otog:a¡| al|uus w|c: lat|c: cicc, l |ac acccss to
co:sicc:a|lc uatc:ial. ·o t|c iilu was a|out \ot|c:`s iacc, la:i:`s iacc, i:ou t|c ii:st ¡|otog:a¡|,
w|c: s|c was t|:cc, to t|c last, a ¡ass¡o:t ¡|otog:a¡| ta|c: a icw uo:t|s |cio:c |c: ii:al |ca:t
attac|.
Da, aitc: ca,, l stucicc |u:c:ccs oi ¡|otog:a¡|s t|:oug| t|c c:la:gi:g a:c :cst:ictcc lc:s. lc:
agci:g iat|c:`s ¡:ouc iavou:itc, auia|l, a::oga:t. I|c sc|oolgi:l wit| |c: i:ic:cs at Au:t kosa`s
cauc sc|ool. I|c ,ca: is 1·-0. I|c gi:l is w:iggli:g i: cist:css. ·|c is wca:i:g a la:gc cu|:oicc:cc
¡i:aio:c. lc: i:ic:cs co:`t |avc ¡i:aio:cs. ·o:ii:uatio: i: a: cx¡c:sivcl, ¡attc::cc w|itc |lousc
cut i: kussia: st,lc, a ·|c||ov gi:l, ,ca::i:g a:c u,stc:ious. I|c ,ou:g :u:sc i: u:iio:u, a
qualiiicc ¡:oicssio:al woua:, cctc:ui:cc a:c co:iicc:t. I|c c:gagcuc:t ¡|otog:a¡|, ta|c: i:
·:sa i: 1-1!. A uastc:l, s|ot oi i:tuitivc u:cc:sta:ci:g, t|c iia:cc sitti:g at a ta|lc i: |is ii:st
¡asto:`s u:iio:u, :caci:g a |oo|. I|c iia:ccc sitti:g at t|c sauc ta|lc wit| |c: |a:cwo:| ¡ut cow:
i: i:o:t oi |c:. ·|c is cu|:oicc:i:g a clot|. ·|c is lca:i:g slig|tl, io:wa:c a:c loo|i:g i:to t|c
cauc:a, t|c lig|t coui:g i:ou a|ovc, s|aci:g |c: c,cs, w|ic| a:c ca:| a:c wicc o¡c:. Iwo
solita:ics wit| :o couuo: |ou:ca:,. I|c :cxt ¡|otog:a¡| is touc|i:g. \ot|c: is i: a tall
a:uc|ai:, a la:gc cog sitti:g i: i:o:t oi |c:. ·|c is laug|i:g c|cc:iull, ;o:c oi t|c icw ¡|otog:a¡|s
i: w|ic| \ot|c: is laug|i:g,. ·|c is i:cc, :cwl, ua::icc.
A littlc ¡a:so:agc i: t|c lalsi:gc woocs, ia: awa, i:ou t|c |at:cc |ctwcc: \a` a:c |c: :icc
¡asto:`, as s|c callcc |iu. I|c ii:st ¡:cg:a:c,, \ot|c: lca:i:g wit| a|a:co: o: lat|c:`s s|oulcc:,
|c suili:g, ¡:oucl, ¡:otcctivc, :ot vc:,, |ut c:oug|. lc: li¡s a:c swollc: as ii i:ou ua:, |isscs,
|c: c,cs a:c vcilcc, |c: iacc soit a:c o¡c:.
I|c: couc t|c ·toc||olu ¡|otog:a¡|s. I|c |a:csouc cou¡lc wit| t|ci: ¡:ctt, wcllca:cc io:
c|ilc:c: i: a su::, a¡a:tuc:t o: a quict st:cct i: quict ·stc:ualu. Wcllcoiiicc, wcllc:csscc,
c,cs uas|cc, suilc io:ual, lovcl, |cwcllc:,, livcl,, aco:a|lc. I|c, |avc aco¡tcc t|ci: :olcs a:c a:c
acti:g t|cu out wit| c:t|usiasu.
A:ot|c: ¡|otog:a¡| oi \ot|c: laug|i:g. ·|c is sitti:g o: t|c vc:a:ca stc¡s at Va:ous a:c l au
o: |c: la¡, at uost iou: ,ca:s olc, u, |:ot|c: ¡:o¡¡cc agai:st t|c :aili:g, cig|t ,ca:s olc. ·|c is
wca:i:g a lig|t siu¡lc cotto: i:oc| a:c ccs¡itc t|c |cat s|c |as |ig| stu:c, |oots o: |c: icct. ·|c is
|olci:g uc i: a ii:u g:i¡ wit| |ot| |a:cs ovc: u, stouac|. \ot|c:`s |a:cs, s|o:t, st:o:g, t|c
:ails cut s|o:t, t|c cuticlcs |ittc:. W|at l :cucu|c: |cst, aitc: all, is |c: |a:c wit| its ccc¡ liic
li:c, t|at c:, soit |a:c, t|c :ctwo:| oi vci:s. llowc:s, c|ilc:c:, a:iuals. kcs¡o:si|ilit,, ca:c,
st:c:gt|. ·ccasio:al tc:cc::css. lo:cvc: cut,.
l |:owsc o:. \ot|c: cisa¡¡ca:s uo:c a:c uo:c i:ou t|c scct|i:g collcctivc oi iauil,
¡|otog:a¡|s. ·|c |as :ow |ac a: o¡c:atio:, |c: wou| a:c ova:ics |avc |cc: :cuovcc, a:c s|c is
¡cc:i:g slig|tl,, i: a lig|t clcga:t c:css, |c: suilc :o lo:gc: :cac|i:g |c: c,cs. \o:c ¡|otog:a¡|s.
:ow s|c |as st:aig|tc:cc u¡ aitc: |avi:g ¡la:tcc souc cutti:gs i: a ¡ot. lc: |a:cs a:c ca:t|, a:c
|a:g slig|tl, i: ¡c:¡lcxit,. latiguc, ¡ossi|l, a:guis|, s|c a:c lat|c: |avc |cc: a|a:co:cc.
·|ilc:c: a:c g:a:cc|ilc:c: |avc go:c. I|c, a:c lc:gua: c|ilc:c:. Do:`t cistu:|, co:`t cistu:|.
I|c: coucs t|c ii:al o:c, t|c ¡ass¡o:t ¡|otog:a¡|. \ot|c: lovcc t:avcl, t|cat:c, |oo|s, iilus
a:c ¡co¡lc. lat|c: loat|cc t:avcl, u:¡la::cc visits a:c st:a:gc:s. lis ill:css g:cw wo:sc a:c |c was
cu|a::asscc |, |is iuu|li:g, t|c |cacs|a|i:g, |is ciiiicultics i: wal|i:g. \ot|c: |ccauc uo:c
a:c uo:c ticc. ·|c occasio:all, got awa, a:c wc:t to ltal,. lc: ¡ass¡o:t |ac :u: out a:c a :cw
o:c was :ccccc. lc: caug|tc: |ac ua::icc a:c uovcc to l:gla:c. I|c ¡ass¡o:t ¡|otog:a¡| was
ta|c:. \ot|c: |ac |ac two |ca:t attac|s. lt loo|s as ii a: ic, wi:c |ac |low: ac:oss |c: iacc,
s|iiti:g |c: icatu:cs a i:actio:. lc: c,cs a:c vcilcc. ·|c, w|o |ac alwa,s :cac, :ow ca::ot :cac.
lc: |ca:t is uisc:l, wit| t|c su¡¡l, oi |looc. I|c |ai: a|ovc t|c |:oac low io:c|cac is |:us|cc
|ac| a:c i:o: g:c,, |c: uout| suili:g |csita:tl,. You |avc to suilc at ¡|otog:a¡|c:s. I|c soit s|i:
oi |c: c|cc|s is |agg, a:c c:issc:osscc wit| c:cascs a:c iu::ows, t|c li¡s c:icc u¡.
·o l |avc :ow |cc: to lccvig llco:o:a c|u:c| o:c ·u:ca, aitc::oo: at t|c |cgi::i:g oi
Acvc:t. l |avc scc: :cilcctio:s oi lig|t i: t|c vaulti:g a:c l |avc ua:agcc to gct i:to t|c a¡a:tuc:t
t|:cc iloo:s u¡. l |avc iou:c \ot|c: lca:i:g ovc: |c: cia:, a:c s|c |as givc: uc ¡c:uissio: to tal|
to |c:.
l iuucciatcl, |ccouc i:co|c:c:t a:c as| a|out t|i:gs l t|oug|t |u:icc.
l call |c: to accou:t accusi:g |c:. \ot|c: tal|s a|out |c: ti:cc:css. ·|c |as oitc: co:c t|at
:ccc:tl,. :ow s|c |as t|i::cc cow: a:c is sca:ccl, visi|lc. l uust t|i:| a|out w|at l |avc, :ot
w|at l |avc lost o: |avc :cvc: |ac. l will collcct u, t:casu:cs, a icw luui:ous t|i:gs wit| a s¡ccial
lust:c.
l: o:c s|o:t uouc:t, l iat|ou |c: ¡ai: w|c: iaccc wit| t|c iiasco oi liic. ·|c was :o livc:oia
lic li|c lat|c:. ·|c was :o |clicvc:. ·|c |ac t|c st:c:gt| to ta|c t|c |lauc cvc: w|c: |c: s|a:c oi
t|c |lauc was cou|tiul. lc: uouc:t oi iu¡assio:cc t|cat:c cic :ot o|scu:c |c: i:sig|t a:c |c:
i:sig|t :cvcalcc t|c catast:o¡|c oi |c: liic.
·o l au :ow sitti:g i: |c: c|ai: accusi:g |c: oi c:iucs s|c |as :cvc: couuittcc. l au as|i:g
qucstio:s to w|ic| t|c:c a:c :o a:swc:s. l au tu::i:g u, sca:c|lig|t o: to cctails oi cctails.
l stu||o::l, as| |ow a:c w|,. l: a succc: |:illia:t |ut ¡:o|a|l, ¡oi:tlcss ilas| oi i:sig|t, l
t|i:| l catc| a gliu¡sc oi G:a:cuot|c:`s colc st:c:gt| |c|i:c t|c c:aua oi u, ¡a:c:ts. As a ,ou:g
woua:, G:a:cuot|c: |ac ua::icc a: agci:g ua: wit| t|:cc so:s :ot uuc| ,ou:gc: t|a: s|c was.
lc: |us|a:c cicc aitc: a s|o:t ua::iagc, lcavi:g |is wiic wit| iivc c|ilc:c:. W|at |ac ·|e |cc:
io:ccc to su¡¡:css a:c ccst:o,·
I|c solutio: is ¡:o|a|l, siu¡lc, |ut t|c u,stc:, :cuai:s u:solvcc. W|at l ca: cc:tai:l, scc is
t|at ou: iauil, wc:c ¡co¡lc oi gooc will |ut wit| a cisast:ous |c:itagc oi guilt, co:scic:cc a:c too
g:cat ccua:cs uacc o: t|cu.
l sca:c|cc i: \ot|c:`s cia:, io: ¡ul, 1-1·, i: w|ic| it saic.
lavc |cc: too ill to w:itc i: :ccc:t wcc|s. l:i| |as |ac ·¡a:is| ilu io: t|c scco:c tiuc. ·u:
so: was |o:: o: ·u:ca, uo::i:g o: 1+ ¡ul,. lc iuucciatcl, co:t:actcc a |ig| tcu¡c:atu:c a:c
scvc:c cia::|oca. lc loo|s li|c a ti:, s|clcto: wit| a |ig iic:, :cc :osc. lc stu||o::l, :ciuscs to
o¡c: |is c,cs. l |ac :o uil| aitc: a icw ca,s |ccausc oi u, ill:css. I|c: |c was |a¡tizcc i: a:
cuc:gc:c, |c:c at t|c |os¡ital. lc is callcc l::st l:gua:. \a |as ta|c: |iu to Va:ous, w|c:c s|c
iou:c a wct :u:sc. \a is |ittc: a|out l:i|`s i:a|ilit, to solvc ou: ¡:actical ¡:o|lcus. l:i| :csc:ts
\a`s i:tc:ic:c:cc i: ou: ¡:ivatc liic. l lic |c:c |cl¡lcss a:c uisc:a|lc. ·ouctiucs w|c: l au alo:c,
l c:,. li t|c |o, cics, \a sa,s s|c will loo| aitc: Dag, a:c l au to ta|c u¡ u, ¡:oicssio: agai:. ·|c
wa:ts l:i| a:c uc to sc¡a:atc as soo: as ¡ossi|lc |cio:c i: |is uac |at:cc |c t|i:|s u¡ souc ot|c:
:cw i:sa:it,`. l co:`t t|i:| l |avc t|c :ig|t to lcavc l:i|. lc is ovc:w:oug|t a:c |is :c:vcs |avc
|cc: |ac all s¡:i:g. \a sa,s |c icig:s it, |ut l co:`t |clicvc t|at. l ¡:a, to Goc wit| :o co:iicc:cc.
·:c will ¡:o|a|l, |avc to ua:agc alo:c as |cst o:c ca:.
la:o !. - ·o.


l:D

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

                                                                                                                                              

                                                                                                                          .

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         .

                                                                                                                                                                                                                 .

                                                                                                                                                                                                                         .

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       .

                                                                                                                                                                                                                               .

                                                                                                                                                              .

                                                                                                                                                                                            .

                                                                                                                                                            .

                                                                                                                                                                             .

                                                                                                                                                                                   .

                                                                                                                                    .

                                                                                                                                                                         

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    .

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        .

                                                                                                                                                                                    .

                                                                                                                                                      .

                                                                                                                                           .

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   .

                                                                                                                                                                                   

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

                                                                                                                                                                               

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          .

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    .

                                                                                                                                                                                                              

                                                                                                                                                                                        

                                                                                                                                                                                                   

                                                                                                                                             .

                                                                                                                                                                                    .

                                                                                                                                                                                                               .

                                                                             